#make Confucius more of a freak

[to23623ken]

Please make Topher and Confucius chronically online buds pls pls im beggin

[randomuser678]

I know Clone High fans only care about the white characters that’s why JFK and Topher are the most popular characters right now (Although JFK has a funny voice too) but I fucking love how the show writes Harriet, Confucius, Frida and Cleo.

I already wrote a bunch but Harriet’s obsession with fame because she doesn’t want to fall to the shadow of her clone mother, how she wants to make silly and fun art despite the legacy she has to live up to are so compelling.

I love Cleo’s fall from grace as the former popular girl, and how only now she has a change to be emotionally open to anyone ever. How Frida uses a chill mask that completely falls off when a hot girl has a crush on her, Confucius’s rich parent troubles and social media addict-ness are SOOOOOOOO fun to see being played with by the show.

Joan also gets some good moments, I like how she is not a 1d “not like other girls” type and is allowed to be on the wrong.

I just wish this fandom would stop freaking out ever every sad white boy that shows up. Gogh was already a fandom favorite and he is a recurring background character, people kept projecting depth on Topher when he is literally just a shitty white ally who tries to do good on the most self-centered way possible, but white male characters will always be seen with more depth than any other character on the show because white fans are more willing to project into them than to ever engage with characters from other backgrounds, that has always been how fandoms work and I know this won’t change, so I’m glad the characters of color on this show are allowed to be complex, even if the fandom won’t care.

[kalisseo]

CLONE HIGH: RE DO

episode 1: can we start, start over?

after 20 years of being frozen, the clones wake up in the year 2023 in a whole different world, with new clones and more opportunities to screw things up

during the night the first generation of clones wakes up after being unfrozen, confused and tired all of them go to their homes, some of them are empty, with some changes, some of them freak out when they see their parents have changed a lot in just hours.

in the morning, joan walks alone to school, abe approaches her, starting a conversation about how they see everything different, there's a lot of new students, with those weird rectangle things and uncommon clothes. abe asks about jfk, joan tells him that she doesn't know what to do, so she will ignore him in the meantime.

jfk tries to talk to joan but gets distracted with a drone, meanwhile cleo angrily walks alone, she has zero intention to talk to abe, she's hurt after what happened and she thinks that abe should be the one to talk to her.

after all the clones enter school, principal scudworth makes an announcement, saying that all the clones born in 1986 should go to the auditorium, the main cast is confused, but they all go.

in the office, candide is talking about the operation spread eagle, that she needs to analyze the first generation of clones to see who is worth it, then she asks what's scudworth's plan to help them reintegrate.

back with the main cast, they're all in the auditorium, this part happens almost the same like in the show: scudworth sings and frida and harriet are introduced.

the walk a mile event starts just like in the show, harriet talks to joan first and they do the walk together, abe sees joan walking away, frustrated that he couldn't confess his feelings earlier, suddenly someone talks to him: topher! he simply asks to do the walk together, abe accepts.

frida is checking that everything's alright, cleo appears and asks her to do the walk together, frida accepts happily

jfk is looking for joan, but confucius talks to him to ask to walk together too, he tries to dismiss it but confucius insist, he accepts.

harriet, joan, abe and topher interactions go almost the same as the show.

cleo tries to impress frida, talking about how she's someone so cool, popular and interesting, everything goes well but suddenly Cleo says something that frida sees as socially unacceptable.

just like a domino effect, the same happens with the other clones, after all they're a product from their time.

abe says a dumb comment too, but topher immediately tells him to shut up, and he offers himself to help abe to navigate in this new world.

meanwhile, joan, cleo and jfk get sorrounded by the new clones, they all get judged, they joan tries to explain herself but the crowd shouts at them, harriet and frida say something about cancel joan, cleo and jfk,at the end the 3 of them escape to inside the school.

once they're inside, they all try to process what just happened, "cancelled"? that definitely wasn't a thing in 2002, joan justifies herself but a new clone who was passing by throws a tomato at her, both jfk and cleo laugh, now they justify their comments but other new clones throw tomatoes at them, angrily they look for who they were, joan calms them down and tells them that they need a plan.

running gag! i think that's the phrase?

most of the time, if a new clone sees joan, cleo or jfk, they'll throw a tomato at them.

joan gets an idea, they should go look for abe to help them to make an apology! after all he's the only clone that can help them, both cleo and jfk refuse to, they say that it's not going to be THAT bad. cleo and jfk go their own way to have a normal day, joan just waits for them.

jfk goes to talk to a pretty girl, and cleo goes to see her locker, she opens it but it just has dust. at the end, both of them end up with tomatoes thrown at them.

frustrated, they get back with joan, who just looks at them and repeats her plan.

the 3 clones look for abe in the whole school, but when they arrive at some place abe just left, and vice versa, when abe arrives the 3 clones just left.

the ep switches between the 3 old clones and abe and topher talking.

at the end, joan, cleo and jfk get tired, meanwhile joan thinks, cleo and jfk try to make another plan. suddenly, joan tells them to follow her, cleo and jfk look at each other, but they don't have many options.

as the last resource, they go to the lake and finally find abe!, on one side they see abe and topher sitting, on the other side confucius is sitting, it looks like abe and confucius are talking and topher only listens while he throws rocks at the water.

joan calls abe, who turns around and happily gets up to see her, he hugs her, and awkwardly looks at cleo and jfk, abe tries to hug cleo too but she stops him. abe asks joan what happened and she tells everything, asks for help, abe accepts! but he doesn't know how to spread the message.

confucius joins the conversation, and gives the idea of making a super produced flip flop video, all the clones doubt, but he swears that it's gonna work.

topher, as a straight male ally, offers himself to make sure they don't say anything offensive again.

with all set up, joan, cleo and jfk make an apology video with the help of abe, confucius and topher.

cleo tells abe that they need to talk. alone.

they walk away from the group, cleo explains that she's mad at abe for the situation with joan, makes a dramatic pose and acts like she's gonna run away, abe doesn't follow up so she explains that he's supposed to beg her, abe goes "oooh" but doesn't say nothing, and that's it, cleo finally brokes up with him, she says that she doesn't care anymore and leaves.

abe just stands there, he's not sure what to do, or how to feel, anyways, now he's in love with joan.

after all, the old clones go to see their lockers.

harriet, frida and confucius approach joan, cleo and jfk respectively. they all say sorry for judging them, but that they'll help them with leading with this new stuff, after all they're from 20 years ago.

abe tries to clean the dust on his locker, some way it ends up in his eyes, he screams but someone asks him if he's okay, that clone is topher! abe asks what he's doing there and topher answers that he's looking for something in his locker, which is next to abe's

and that's all!

[jfkonfucius]

GIVE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEASON 3 HAND EM OVER

THIS IS NOT ALL MY THOUGHTS CUZ ALL MY THOUGHTS ARE HOURS WORTH OF THOUGHTS. PROBABLY. here's some scattered initial thoughts . out of order

- vlad vlad vlad i adore vlad i wish he talked more. he doesn't even name drop the first time we meet the bleacher creatures! I think. I don't even remember when he name drops

- I don't think I'm overestimating it when I say I am the confucius guy. and the confucius guy has been fed very well this season. im SO grateful. I'm obsessed with him. He's cute. He's sometimes a little unexpected. He has about 5/6 minutes worth of angst. He's relatable. He is everything to me

- The Mary twist was hilarious, at first I had mixed feelings about the character being shoved in, but it built up to awesomeness

- It's been rough for Harriet... It's been real rough for her character. Which SUCKS cuz I wanna like her! I don't dislike her but Girl Why

- The writing has def improved since the last season! Hooray! Gives me 1% hope

- The JFK&Abe&Confucius trio is adorable and one of my fav things about this season. "We tried! Yeah yeah We tried!" "C'mon... C'mon...? C'mon... C'mon!"

- Joanfucius cute !! 7.5/10. Better than their s2 relationships (Joanfk/tubfucius)

- Jfabers are winning. And losing also

- Shower scene didn't happen

- I loved JFK's personality arc, his devils & angels, and him being more bisexual than ever. The explanation for the writers to "fix his personality" was genius

- I felt the increased amount of swearing made it so jokes or emotional moments involving swearing didn't hit as hard as they could have. And some sex scenes were dragged on for too long which wasn't useful narrative/comedy wise .. just uncomfortable

- I accept buff confucius into my life

- The new characters from ep 9... erm. I didn't like them much. I don't like the "here's character's love interest that is basically this character but opposite gender!" trope. The part with Mrs. C's cockney accent made me like her more though

- JFK'S DAD CAMEO !! HOORAY !! i wonder where the other dad is though ...

- I appreciated the references to previous seasons !!

- The ending left me in shambles & some actual grief. I loved the last episode, the way it parallels the first season finale, and the emotional drama, but I feel like they can't afford a cliffhanger. I would have liked some closure, as I have barely any faith in the animation+streaming industry and am 99% sure we're heading for cancellation. Boo-womp

- On the topic of ending, I headcanon that if the series does get cancelled, the clones actually get hit by the missile and DIE. I AM MAKING IT WORSE FOR MYSELF

- I LOVE EATING MAGNETS

- I really liked the Christian rock song and the inclusion of Unrehearsed by Abandoned Pools! I wish there were more new songs X( but it ok

- Scud and Mr. B were awesome as usual

- Abe cute

- I'm glad we got more Kahlopatra (Or... "cleda" as the show calls it. I GUESS. I GUESS)

- Frida's dad... emm.. ermm.. ermmm.. 😳😳😳 he so

- The professor from Ep 1 is freaking awesome & has the same voice as mr. peanut butter i think which makes him awesomer

- Hmmm... Magnets

- I was very pleased to see more Front facing scared confucius

- I was also pleased to see him about to jump off a building. you know how it is with the fav characters ^_^

- Not a whole lot of JFKonfucius moments but some screenshot worthy stuff . I went insane when JFK grabbed Confucius by the collar though 😭 why does he do that. why are they like that. i love my boys

- the last shot grabs my heart with a fist and squeezes it It hurts It Hurts it Hurts

ok well if i keep on listing stuff i'll just be talking about everything confucius did so thats enough for now LOL !!! THANKS FOR ASKING . HEART 💚🧬

[godzillabreath]

Clone High S2 thoughts

Discussion/spoilers (if you can spoil a situational comedy lol) under the cut

I first watched the original Clone High when I was in high school, so it’s a little wild to be watching and getting really invested in season 2 15 years later. It’s something I probably never even considered at the time.

I rewatched the first season recently as well, so I would have some context for going into the second season after so long. And the first season is still reliably so funny, so sharp and biting in its commentary. I feel like there is not a single joke that doesn’t still land today. The characters are so hyperbolic and chaotic that every scene is fresh and you never know what to expect from the plot. The geometry of the character design and the backdrops are simple but so effective and stylish, too. Season 1 really is just a good comedy you can watch again and again, and every character contributes to the laughs and momentum of the episodes. Gandhi is especially missed, and I think you can really feel his absence in Season 2 ),:

Okay, so Season 2. I’m gonna be upfront, I don’t think it is written very well. It feels very much like a fan facsimile of the original biting humor. I think I only laughed at a handful of jokes over the course of the entire season, which was definitely disappointing. It falls into the trap that so many reboot adult cartoons fall into in that it devotes so much of its time to rehashing cancel culture and social media as buzzwords, but not actually saying anything interesting or meaningful about them. The show no longer pulls from teen media tropes and contemporary television drams to inform its over-the-top “melancholy adolescent” humor. It feels like the extent of what they brought to the table was “Tiktok exists, isn’t that funny” and “you can’t be problematic!!!!” humor, but without really exploring the ludicrousness and the discourse cycle of the modern internet. It very much feels like the writers didn’t know the topics firsthand, but still wanted to comment on them in a shallow and cursory way. 

Let’s look at the new characters they added. Frida has an incredible design and conceptually I adore her. A mellow artist that skateboards and is hugely gay? All right, I love that. I wish there was a little more to her, though. I wanted to see more of the hyperbolic personality traits that each original character had in season 1. Make her outlandish, make her weirder with regards to her art, I don’t know, you could have gone in so many directions. I just wanted to see MORE.

 And this is an issue I have with all of the new characters and even to some extent the returning characters. I feel like Joan especially lost her weirdness and her edge in the reboot, with only the end scene of her freaking out and sabotaging her friends being something fun and true to her vindictive streak that she had in the original season. Confucius feels like he adds nothing to the plot other than to inform JFK and the audience that the internet exists. He should have been a bombastically internet-addicted clout goblin, constantly cutting content, and as he is now, he’s just falling extremely flat. I wanted the writers to crank the dial to 11 with Harriet and really explore her fear of being incredibly basic, like maybe she has Live Laugh Love text art in her room or her favorite tv show is the Office, idk, but as is she just seems like a Normal, Nice Person. Which is Fine, but it doesn’t make for great comedy. 

Topher is the only character I feel really channels the chaotic core of the original Clone High season, and he’s not even there for many scenes. I love the idea of a manipulative little mentally ill Redditor whelp. It’s relatable, it works well in commenting on modern internet culture, it’s freaky, I like it. I’m surprised they didn’t have Confucius and Topher interacting more because they both are chronically online and I feel like there is so much potential there.

I guess my takeaway opinion is that I’d like to see them amp up the personality of each of the characters by like 200%. And it’s a little late for this now, but I wish they’d have done more of a slow burn on Cleo and Frida’s relationship. It would’ve been cool to see Cleo contending with the fact that she wasn’t the most popular girl in school anymore and what kind of schism that would have created between her and Frida initially. More of an enemies to lovers dynamic would have been fun. 

So those are my thoughts. I could have gone on longer, but... I think this is already getting too long haha. I think I feel so opinionated on it because I can really see the latent stellar potential in the characters, and with a few exceptions, they all feel so underutilized in this season. 

Looking forward to season 3+ to see what they do next, though! 

[bitchapalooza]

OKAY SO I OFFICIALLY FINISHED CH SEASON 3

Spoilers obviously

Okay good, Marry WAS written to be the way I thought she was(kinda but I was right).

I’m sad that Cloney Island was only one episode. Would’ve been nice to have a 2 part season finale, especially with the abrupt way Cleo and Frida were pushed back together— realistic for teenagers, especially a dramatized version of teenagers, but still would’ve been nice to see them fight a bit more, give sad longing glances over their shoulders after turning away, and then build that up to the climax of the episode where they make up in true sappy teen drama fashion that would be very in character for them both in the first place.

Aaaaaaaand Abe and Joan triangle once again but this time with Confucius! Wow! I am still not rooting for JoanAbe lmao, I think Joan and Confucius have way more chemistry than even Joanfk did. They seemed to have a lot of fun together.

Harriet and JFK… I still can’t see them working. I’m sorry. My new impression of Harriet is she’s one of those jealous types. A home wrecker and a cheater even. She just assumed she and Confucius were back together without asking, telling me that she’s definitely a bit of a control freak or definitely very impulsive(ocd possibly? Someone with more knowledge do an analysis, my basic level knowledge isn’t enough or factually sound). I honestly used to adore Harriet’s character, her annoying personality was passable enough to grow on me. But now it’s just insufferable. I mean I still love her character, but not really in the I adore her way, just that I wanna continue to see her fuck things up and see how much drama she can cause. And how her and JFK’s relationship will be ruined because I genuinely want it to be ruined because there’s really no substance behind it, just raging teenage hormones and the threat of imminent death.

I do genuinely feel bad for Scudworth but I for the love fuck cannot remember his ex-lover’s name. But I do hope Scud gets to see her again and they can actually be together in peace. They seemed nice together! I thought it was really cute, Scud was actually getting a win this time.

Uh Topher— or should we call him Christopher now?— being proud of his Clone lineage because some guests liked him was actually amazing in that I want a list of those people to avoid them which could be easy because they most likely were some of the January 6th capital rioters, that’s the only conclusion I can come up with that summarizes my entire assumption about those, uh, “fans”. But I guess it’s good he’s accepting who he’s been cloned from? Question mark? I’m scared of the micro aggressions to come. Someone contact his therapist that may or may not be Scudworth in a wig in the first place, I’m a little scared.

If season 4 is greenlit, if not already that is, I hope Gandhi gets to come back. There were several good call backs to him, especially how Scudworth inexplicably had several of his belongings in his possession? Sir what the fuck.

AND MY GOD THE F-BOMBS WHERE SO OVER DONE BUT ABSOLUTELY NOT IN A BAD WAY. They were perfectly balanced in my opinion and combined with the delivery of each Fuck combined with each Shit and every other curse mentioned, it was perfect. Compare it to either H/zben H/tel + h/lluva b/ss or Rick and Morty and you’ve actually got a script that although littered with curses, doesn’t rely on those curses to make the show funny. The fact each profanity wasn’t always expected coupled with the delivery is what made it good AND natural, not forced. Scudworth’s FUCK in season 2 walked so everyone’s FUCK AND SHIT in season 3 could run like fr.

I’m sad Cleo’s back with her terrible foster mom. I don’t like Frida’s foster dad. Having a sweater with your daughter’s face on it is….. strange. Confucius’ are kind of as I expected, but tbh I still say they’re fostering him for the publicity and check. Skunky Poo’s return was disturbing which seemed to be on purpose. I think I saw Van Gogh with two dads in the background and I’m only saying this because tbh I think he deserves two moms instead lmao, give this boy his two moms.

Abe this season felt like an in between of season 1 and 2 but mostly still s2. But I did love his interactions with JFK and Confucius. Especially JFK. And how fucking casual JFK essentially came out as bisexual lmao. All in all, these two were fucking hilarious this season. But yeah uh Abe is a toxic asshole by the way but we all knew that and honestly that’s why I love him and if Joanabe really IS endgame, I can cope with the fact that these two are highly likely to marry after graduation and divorce several years later, they’re terrible for each other.

I think this season was a lot better, which makes sense with what seemed like was a bigger budget. The animation actually looked a little different, not bad different but good different, much smoother??? I may have to go back and rewatch season 2, but right off the bat s3 animation really felt different, it felt more alive in a way and I really loved it. I hope we get a season 4 fr. And I hope it’s the final season, I cannot see it getting a s5 UNLESS it’s a parody/joke to how most shows these days keep stacking on the seasons without any heartfelt material in it (*cough* supernatural and the simpsons and bobs burger *cough* *cough*)

[y2kbugs-moved]

Confucius in Clone High is already shown as a rich influencer, and they had a ton of potential to push that further and make it part of his flaw and why he's an unpleasant teenager that the original would be embarassed by. He's just at worst an attention whore for now, but if they pushed his rich influencer angle by making him do performative deeds for charity, but off-camera complaining about how needy poor people are, that'd probably give him more of an edge fitting the first season's tone.

I'm not sure about adjusting Harriet and Frida's personalities to make them fit the "historical figures as shitty teenagers" spirit better. Frida I can see making her more edgy and sarcastic like the real Frida was (keep in mind the real Frida Kahlo infamously drew a portrait of a woman committing suicide, after being commissioned by her grieving friend), but Harriet is VERY hard to make more of a "shitty teenager" considering who she's a clone of. The best I can think of is pushing her perfectionist/control freak side a little bit more.

[mcheang]

In another’s eyes

Inspired by https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13849241/1/Signed-Gifts

Basically Adrien finds Marinette’s signature on his blue scarf and connects the dots.

Adrien is hurt that Marinette let him believe his father gave him the scarf. He understands why but it hurts worse after all this time thinking his father finally gave him something new. It’s having new hopes crushed

He visits Marinette and gently confronts her over it, chiding her to tell him the truth next time instead of letting him believe a lie.

Frantic, Marinette wildly points out that he lets their classmates believe in Lila’s wild promises. How is she any different from him?

Pause.

Adrien never really thought about it that way. He just wanted his classmates to be happy. But if he told them the truth, they would be sad and Lila would also be angry at him and probably akumatized.

If he kept the truth from them, then wasn’t he being a hypocrite?

Marinette worried she said something she could never take back. “Adrien...”

He held up a hand, needing to think.

What was the Chinese saying again? “Do not do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you.”-Confucius

Well, Adrien wasn’t one to deny an ancient philosopher’s wisdom.

Adrien: no, you’re right, Marinette. I’m a hypocrite for scolding you for something I’ve done as well

Marinette: you haven’t-

Adrien: but i have. Please don’t sugarcoat this, Marinette. Don’t try to spare my feelings when the truth is more important.

Marinette was nervous and predictably, she rambled. “Well, if you are planning to expose Lila, you would also be in trouble because while i constantly doubted her trip to Achu, you were aware of her playing truant.”

Adrien paused and took a breath. “I know. And I’ll accept my due punishment. But what matters is making things right. We need to tell everyone that Lila is a liar.”

Marinette: but how? They don’t believe me. And who knows if they’ll believe you!”

Adrien frowned, thinking again. “Don’t you have Jagged’s number?”

Marinette: Yup. I barely got him to cease suing Alya’s Ladyblog for Lila’s interview. He doesn’t really follow her anymore.

Adrien: do you think he’ll help us expose Lila?

Marinette: we can ask. But I think it’s a safe bet. The only reason he didn’t go after Lila herself was because she up and vanished after turning into Volpina.

Jagged was thrilled to sic Fang on Lila

Marinette: we said expose! Not kill

Jagged: I never feed Fang rotten food. He’ll just sit on her or chase her up a tree

Adrien: thank you. I’m just worried Lila will be akumatized again, though. The last time, Ladybug chewed her out for claiming to be BFFs; though after hearing Lila pronounce herself a better self-proclaimed heroine, it’s not that hard to see why Ladybug was angry (Adrien may have been upset with Ladybug but I imagine he would try to justify her behavior later. seriously, who wouldn’t be angry after hearing Lila insult her like that? He’s not very sensitive to others’ emotions)

Jagged: you can’t keep everybody happy. And sometimes you shouldn’t. Some people don’t deserve to be coddled. And besides, once the witch is exposed, who is to say the others won’t be akumatized?

Adrien paled. He didn’t consider that.

Marinette: well, we could try to keep an eye out for akumas. And maybe even get the heroes to stand guard?

Adrien: good idea. But how to contact them?

Marinette: leave it to me. I’ve seen the heroes jump on rooftops plenty from my balcony.

Jagged: just say the word and set the date, and your uncle Jagged will be there faster than you can say “Croc”

Marinette soon called Adrien and Jagged to tell them that Ladybug would be happy to stand by and even offer her own testimony that she is so not friends with Lila.

However, after hearing how Lila framed Marinette, Ladybug wanted Marinette absent in case Lila blamed her for Jagged exposing her.

Jagged: well, she’s not totally wrong.

Marinette: uncle Jagged!

Jagged: what, you did call me for this.

On the day of Lila’s downfall, school had just ended and students started heading home. Marinette was one of the first, having to work at the bakery. Chloé and Sabrina also left, not bothering to stay around and chat with the peasants.

To the lingering students’ surprise, a popular and familiar rock song began blasting into the air as a tour bus drove up to the school.

Jagged: hello Dupont College! Are you ready to rock!

Students crowded up and screamed.

Lila paled and could not escape the gravity of the crowd.

Jagged: now where’s my guitar? Fang, if you don’t mind?

Fang waddled up, guitar on his back.

Jagged: now Fang’s been with me since he hatched from an egg. And he’s the best pet a rocker could ask for.

Alya: what about your cat?

Jagged: cat? Since when did I own a cat?

Alya: but Lila said-

Jagged: who? Sorry miss, but I think you must have confused me with someone else.

A pause for the class as Jagged started playing a guitar riff.

While the crowd cheered, the class stared at Lila.

Lila: he doesn’t like his kitten to be brought up

Ivan: he doesn’t even know you

Lila: he does! Right, Adrien?

Lila glared at him meaningfully. But Adrien ignored her and just sang along. He promised to maintain a guise of friendship, but no more lies. Though if Lila was exposed, maybe their deal could be considered pointless now. Still...better not to antagonise her so openly.

Nino: you’re asking the wrong person. The only other people in class who can get close to Jagged are Chloé (same hotel) and...Marinette. That’s how she knew you were a liar!

Jagged: hey, what’s going on over there?

The student body turned to stare, annoyed at the interruption.

Aware of unwanted scrutiny, Alya quickly said, “oh, we were just having a priority one class meeting. Sorry! We’ll keep it down.”

The class dragged Lila off, and Ladybug secretly followed. Adrien reluctantly did so too.

Surrounded, Lila could not run away, so she burst into fake tears.

Lila: why are you being so mean?

Mylène: do you think her tears are real?

Kim snorted. “Doubtful. But I don’t think she’s worth bothering about anymore.”

Alya: what? She lied!

Kim: and we believed a con artist. But unless we lost a lot of money or whatever, what’s the point of doing this?

True. While Lila had promised favors, that didn’t mean the class had stop working hard on their own. And Alya’s credibility was also her fault for not checking her sources and getting more proof.

Alya huffed. “Fine! But she just gets away scot free?”

Max: unlikely. There is the matter of forging doctor’s letter and skipping school.

Lila: you can’t prove that!

Alya: I can just call your mother right now.

Lila: and tell her that you’re bullying me?

Alya: no, we are just going to ask her some questions. And if she was duped by you, too, I don’t think she can deny the truth if we walk up to her office and make a scene.

Adrien: is that really necessary?

Alya: Mrs Rossi must really believe her daughter. She may think us all bullies if we expose Lila but the presence of her colleagues will influence her. Besides, our questions are simple. Was Lila really sick? Was she at Achu?

The class dragged Lila to the embassy and made such a ruckus that Mrs Rossi came out, especially when she saw her daughter in the center of it all, yelling at them to be quiet.

Mrs Rossi was angry but answered their questions that Lila had never been sick or to Achu while Alya filmed her. But there was the akuma plague. At this, the class told her the truth and even her observing colleagues backed them up.

Lila was distraught. Where was the freaking akuma?

Ladybug was lounging on the roof, her yo-yo stuffed with butterflies. As long as she didn’t use her lucky charm, she was in no danger of detransforming.

When Adrien didn’t back Lila, she told everyone he knew she was a liar.

Adrien admits his faults and realized his lesson now. The class knew why Marinette kept the scarf secret so they could sort of understand why he wanted to keep everybody happy. He also was the one who got Marinette back into school, so they forgave him.

Lila was expelled once Damocles saw the footage and Mrs Rossi confirmed it.

Lila was sent to boarding school instead where everyone knew she was a compulsive liar. Nobody took her seriously there.

As for Adrien, he was always determined to hear the blunt truth, tired of being sheltered.

[liibrii]

I have been curious and may I ask your favorite characters from each team of Haikyuu?

yes, yes, please do, give me an excuse to talk about my faves!!  💕 I didn’t do every single team because it would be too long and tbh for some teams I just don’t care that much 🤷‍♀️

Karasuno

Hinata (he's my fave hq character, and just might be my fave character in anything ever; I love his sunny personality so much, and when he goes feral, boi, yes go crazy you tiny little ball of sunshine. “I sprouted from the concrete“ ?? we don’t talk about the pure rawness of that line enough. chills. and his growth through the series is just 👌 💯✨ unmatched. the ball boy arc made me tear up (Hinata bby, he’s so good at making friends) and then the receive in Inarizaki match?? proud tears. him going to Brazil to train?? 🤧 when the line "I'm home!" gets animated I will cry)

Inarizaki (if you've been around my blog a while this will have no surprises)

Omimi (if u didn't see this coming let me elaborate, he looks scary ok but he's a sweetheart, have u seen his current concern? adorable 🥰 also he's so freaking tall I know he gives the best bear hugs 💓 also did u know Suna looks up to his blocking? this might be my biased interpretation but let's ignore that  he’s in the same class as Kita, and explains his little rituals to his underclassmen, he finds Kita’s observation skills kinda scary but boi does he respect his captain. also did u know he’s actually born the same year as the 2nd years? aka the same year as me in conclusion, Omiren hand in marriage please 💍 also since he’s a side character with so little canon information he’s so much fun to just make wild hc’s for)

Kita (I sure did sell my soul to the scary fox captain, the Mr-no-gaps-Kita-Shinsuke; everything about him is just 💗💓✨, his dutiful personality, his absolutely adorable relationship with his grannie, the respect team has for him despite being only a bench warmer before his 3rd year, how well he knows his teammates, how proud he is to be on the same team as them, his friendship with other 3rd years 💗 he's such an interesting character. and his introduction in the  anime? ✨ legendary ✨ his timeskip occupation? perfection 🌾 “I am build upon the small things I do every day“ Sokrates who? Confucius when?)

Akagi (he's a cutie and pure unbridled bringer of chaos, we know Twins are a handful but who do you think enables them?? also who let this man be a teacher love how during the Karasuno match Akagi is the one trying to keep the team on their toes when Kita isn't on the court. he's a good senpai 🎉 also he's on first name basis with Kita so they're close friends & it's my hc he's the trouble child of the 3rd years, you can't change my mind)

Aran (this poor dude has been putting up with Twins for years and if that doesn’t buy your respect then, idk maybe him being one of the top 5 aces will? him being the on-court captain? of all the Inarizaki players Ukai being the most worried about him? Hinata comparing himself to him in that one absolutely hilarious panel? his friendship with Kita? also have u noticed he’s the only one that makes Kita actually laugh (not just smile, laugh)? his current concern? so relatable, I’m wearing socks with holes all the time, Aran we’re obviously soulmates, hit me up anytime 😍)

Atsumu (for as much as I love the prettiest of pretty setters I sure don't talk about him that much. his passion for volleyball is just 💗  his relationship with Osamu is perfect, the rivalry and constant arguing, the support and love they have for each other, that’s just how twins are I know I have two in my damn house he's the perfect combination of someone I wanna punch and hug and give kisses to. also his jokes are hilarious y'all just don't appreciate them 😤)

Seijoh 

Oikawa (he’s infuriating. because he comes off as this annoying pretty boy whose shins I want to kick twice an hour but then his complexity starts showing and I fell, never got up, but I’m still pissed about it. the amount of passion he has for volleyball? off the charts. the attention he pays to his teammates? only matched by Kita. annoying Iwa-chan all the time? relatable af, I too annoy my best friend to show my love. him going overseas to follow his dreams? as someone who left her home country for school I know how hard it can be so he has my respect and support. u go you funky little setter boy, kick everyone’s asses 🥇)

Shiratorizawa 

Tendou (I love him!! I love his goofy personality, I love his 0% or 120% blocking technique (Furudate where is my stz vs Inarizaki match, I wanna see him go up against Omimi so bad, I want to hear the banter between him and Atsumu, I wanna see him blocking Suna, Furudate when??); I love how friendly and close he is with everyone on the team. he’s such a good friend. everyone should have a friend like Tendou. especially his friendship with Ushijima, it warms my heart. also his time skip occupation is just 👌✨ amazing. and I want to fight everyone who bullied him, those bitches gonna catch these hands)

Fukurodani

Bokuto (it’s Bo. how can u not love him? he has the brightest smile to warm your heart and big arms to warm you with hugs; also his quote “It’s not impossible, it’s just hard“ like yes he’s so supportive, we all need a Bokuto in our lives. the entire training camp arc is just one big Bokuto show, him just straight up proclaiming Hinata his protege and then years later they’re on the same team 😭  and he’s so friendly with everyone, please he just wants to play volleyball and make friends. the only one who shines brighter than Bo is Hinata. also, big beefy arms 👀 )

Kamomedai

Hoshiumi (he's the definition of 'poison being in small bottles'; I love this tiny feral seagull; his rivalry with Hinata? amazing. my only complain is we didn’t get more of it. his words to Hirugami when he was feeling down and fed up with volleyball? yes Hoshiumi, ur so right!! also time skip Hoshiumi is wow wow wow a revelation indeed 👀 )

Bessho (I read the line ‘Goody McGooders’ and I haven’t been the same since. I stand on the edge of falling in love with him too. he's cute, his inner monologue is hilarious, his current concern makes me laugh. what more do u want in a man? except being real)

Msby 

Meian (I'm a simple gal, I see big beefy man, I simp 💓 he puts up with almost all of my faves so, he got my respect. also him big. can u imagine what a perfect pillow he’d be??)

[trulycertain]

the spaces between

Something I wrote a little while ago. Jensen/Malik, huddling for warmth, and belated revelations. About 5.7k. Title courtesy of @themortalscout .

Faridah raises a brow, and tries not to stare. “Wow. Sarif always told me about that with the newer models. Never got somewhere cold enough to see it.” It comes out a little odd; her teeth are chattering.

Adam doesn’t say anything, just keeps steaming gently. It’s a lot more obvious now that he’s taken off the trench. The trench… which he drapes around her shoulders, tucks a little.

It’s the kind of little thing she’s still getting used to. He stopped being Jensen sometime after Frank hauled his ass back onto the grid and Faridah was so relieved she physically couldn’t speak. Or after they got pizza and she all but passed out on his couch over in Prague. He still calls her Malik most of the time, though, even while they’re obviously some kinda friends. Now it’s just with a smile and a tone like it’s familiar and comfortable.

She tries not to be embarrassed at the favour – he’s the one that looks like a dumpling left out in the snow, he doesn’t need it – and tugs the coat closer. “Thanks. But that’s not gonna help all that much. Look at it out there.”

He does, white snow reflecting off the shades as he glances out the window. Outside, the storm is howling. This place is all concrete, an old research lab that’s gone to hell since the Incident. And the systems janked out after the storm set in. Even Adam couldn’t haul up the doors, and they can’t do a system reboot from in here. No power. And that means no heating, either. But Pritchard has their coordinates, and that might be the saving throw. ‘Til then, though...

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she says, trying to sound light and not like her heart’s pounding in her chest. But hey, if it’s not slowing down, that’s something. Tells her she’s still alive.

He looks back to her, raising a sharp eyebrow of his own. Yeah, he knows what she means. “I’ve got thermal venting.” He lifts his arms just slightly to show the steam, like Sarif’s most awkward show model. Exactly like he never wanted to be. “I could...”

She says, “Just tell me we don’t have to get naked.”

He huffs a surprised little laugh, glancing aside. “Not if this works.” His mouth’s still twisting with a little embarrassment. It surprises her, the few times she catches glimpses of it; the tough-guy Detroit cop, and he’s… almost shy. He’s never seemed into the shitty locker-room jokes, even when he came almost fresh from SWAT and with something to prove.

“So we hug it out ‘til help arrives.” Her cheer sounds stretched thin but she tries to keep it. “Let’s do this.” She gestures to him.

“You sure?”

She smiles at him. “Come on, Spyboy.”

He crosses the distance between them, and then polymer arms are wrapping round her. There’s something slow and careful about it, like it’s the first days after the augs when she caught him with chopsticks and he looked like he wanted to head into a trapdoor straight through the floor. It’s a little like being hugged by a sandwich toaster, when you lift the lid: sudden, surprising warmth, all around her. If the sandwich toaster was six-foot-something and had myomer limbs. She feels the heat even through a padded flightsuit and a borrowed coat. His skin’s softer than she thought it’d be, though she can feel the scars just a little. And then there’s… She tries to stifle a noise, and fails.

“You alright?” Adam asks her, sounding worried.

She lets out the sneeze-laugh she’s been holding in. “Beard tickles a little.”

She realises belatedly that she can’t feel smooth lenses, and then remembers the noise she heard. She feels him smile, cheek shifting against her ear. Her heart clenches just slightly at that. He always holds himself back, always keeps his distance from everyone. She’s never touched his skin, not really. It was different when she maybe clasped him on the shoulder, two layers of flightsuit gloves against the leather coat, or punched him fondly on the arm.

He says, “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“Soft, though. Thought it’d be scratchier. You condition it?”

He says dryly, “Mm-hm. Put in a little oil after. Kinda thought it’d all have frozen, by now.”

“Yeah. Keeping it short helps, but I was starting to figure my hair was a goner.”

Silence falls around them, and all she can hear is the howl of the wind, their soft breathing, the faintest sound of servos in his arms as he shifts position a little – she figures his arms can’t go to sleep, and then she realises it’s probably for her comfort rather than his. That makes a warm ache rise in her chest, spread a little. He has that effect on her. It started somewhere around Hengsha, and it’s never entirely worn off. She tries not to think about it, and fails. She feels his hand settle hesitantly, slowly, on her back.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this,” she says at last, soft.

He hums, and she feels it against her skin. “Yeah,” he responds easily. “When you said ‘come over for the weekend,’ I thought you meant hit a few bars, maybe get takeout.”

It’s the kind of thing she almost never got to hear on comms, when he was all business or dodging bullets. The hours between, though, the few times they ended up in the canteen, or on a long journey... She didn’t realise how used to it she’d gotten ‘til she left Detroit and started flying journeys and kept expecting the weird little observations, the gravel-rough sarcasm when someone had asked a stupid question. The silences would feel too loud when they didn’t come. Still do, sometimes. They’d known each other maybe a year then; he just used to be her tall dark and weird coworker. The one who’d helped her find Evelyn’s killer; the one who’d exhaustedly, silently snapped a candy bar in half and offered her some at 3 AM; the one who’d remembered every security guy by name and read Confucius and was trying to save the damn world. Weird, the way someone can mold into your life so thoroughly that when they leave it, they rip out a piece of it.

“What can I say?” she replies. “I like the rush.” It comes out shaky and unconvincing, not helped by the fact she’s shivering.

He sighs, chest deflating against hers. “I knew what I signed up for, Malik.”

“You signed up for a place with goddamn heating.”

His head falls onto her shoulder, and she feels a thin tremor run through him. He’s... cracking up, almost silently. He’s always had a kinda weird sense of humour. They both do.

   A flash of lightning and then a clang, something landing on the side of the VTOL. She looks out the window, and meets a pair of shades.

She jumps. “Jesus, Jensen!”

She’s pretty sure anyone without augmented arms would’ve missed that jump. Or wouldn’t be able to hold on.

He gives an awkward half-smile – it looks a little weird with all the lethal black augs and the blood on his face and the fact she can hear bullets - and then pants through her infolink, “Sorry.”

She raises the doors, then, and she hears the clangs of him working his way back and through them. She says, “When you said ‘coming in hot’...”

He half-falls into the back and straps himself in, still breathless. She listens to him get his breath back. Doesn’t sound like he’s badly injured, at least.

She gets them the hell out of there, and then: “Jesus, Sarif gave you an Icarus? I didn’t even know you could do that.”

“Neither did I,” he says, and sounds as surprised as she is, maybe amused. And then she hears a soft, deep sound, and his voice is rougher than usual when he says, “...I really am sorry. Didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“I wasn’t freaked out. I was just… adjusting. To the new weight.” She realises what it is. “Stop laughing, Jensen.”

It’s not the polite thing of water-cooler small talk. It’s a deep, quiet sound, rusty like he hasn’t done it in a while. She hasn’t heard it before. It’s a little dorky, and she realises… she kinda likes it. She looks and he’s leaning on an elbow, hand against his face like that’ll make it subtler. He coughs, and sobers. “ Hell of a landing.” The confession’s surprising, somehow; he always acts like he just gets on with it, like defying death’s a fact of life. His voice is quiet, and he sounds like he didn’t mean to say it. “Malik?”

“Yeah?”

“...Thanks. That was some flying.”

“Anytime, Jensen.”

   He says, “Heating, and usually a few more guys shooting at me. I kinda like the change.” He pauses, thoughtful. She knows that he’s trying to keep her talking and check the cold’s not making her stupid, and she goes with it. “The Collective suits you,” he says, eventually.

“And you. You seem - “ Happier is a relative term for a guy like Jensen. His life seems to hop from one disaster to another. But then, so does hers; she’s done some crazy jobs, especially since she left SI. Nearly died a few times, but so have all of them. And he seems more exhausted than ever. But… She realises she means Less hung-up on Megan, and shuts her mouth. That’s not something she can say. Maybe not ever. But she remembers the way he’d go quiet, or the way he’d say Megan’s name. Remembers the first days when she’d catch him exhausted and staring into space in the back, looking like the world was one step from crushing him, and then he’d meet her eyes in the mirror and tuck it all back away. She doesn’t get those pained silences anymore, not when they’re around each other. “Better. Maybe. Would’ve been a different story if the Act had passed, for both of us.”

“Mm-hm.” He’s listening, though. She can tell.

“Heard you had a little to do with that. Jesus, how do you get yourself into this stuff?”

That smile, and he’s trying not to fidget. God forbid you ever give the guy a compliment. “No comment.” He turns his head toward her, just a little. “Heard the Collective had a damn good pilot in Pakistan.”

“No comment.” She pauses, and admits, “Always nice to hear it, though.”

He snorts. “Should say it more often. Pretty sure I wouldn’t be alive without how you fly.”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t be here without you.” It comes out too earnest, and she wants to pull it back. Instead she makes herself follow it through. “Hengsha was… I still remember how close it was.”

She hears him swallow. “Hm.”

She remembers him appearing next to the cockpit, asking her breathlessly, “You alright?” while she tried not to stare at the blood on his face and the way he was obviously wild-eyed behind the shades.

“That was the first time I saw you in action, after the augs. Really saw.” And she can feel him tensing up, knows that if they weren’t in a freezing room he’d be making an excuse to pull away and hunt through the lockers by now. “You were kind of amazing. And that was after Evelyn... And now we’re here in some damn shack, just because you wanted to do me a favour.”

She feels him shift back, and her heart sinks; she knows she’s said too much. She’s about to apologise, but then he’s looking at her - intent, gold rings shifting in his eyes, and the words die in her throat.He says, “What else was I gonna do?” The words are soft, and there’s something soft in his expression, too.

“You always come through for me.” She tries to laugh off words that taste too true. Because the alternative is dwelling on those nights where she figured that maybe if she’d just put up a fight, not done her job for once and said What the hell are you doing, you’ll die, he might not be at the bottom of the goddamn ocean. When she tried to move on and she always kept coming back to him. “So there was the time you disappeared off the grid for a year. But that wasn’t exactly your fault, huh?”

He puts a hand on her arm, surprising her. His hands are warm, always warmer than she thinks they’ll be. “You still found me.”

“Pritchard did that. He just gave me a GPS marker for the hideout.” She tilts her head, and tries, “Coat looked pretty expensive. Figured I had to give it back.” She gets halfway to a smile, but damn it, she can’t do it. All these times they’ve talked around it, tried to make jokes about it, and she can’t. Not today, not here. “I thought you were – Jesus, Adam.”

She suddenly feels the weight of all those nights, and all the times she was certain that she’d screwed up and she’d let another friend die; that hell, maybe she was a curse. All those times watching him try to get some sleep in between missions, watching him mourn Megan, watching him stay still when someone made a comment about the augs and curl up on the inside. Him offering to help her with this like it was easy – the same way he always tries to help out every time she sees him.

He stares at her. “Faridah...”

She swallows. Looks away. “How’s life in Prague?”

His hand twitches on her back, and she knows he’s thinking of making an issue of it. Instead he moves forward and tucks his head on her shoulder, eases her back into his arms. “Quiet. Quieter than Detroit.”

“You picked up any new Czech?” She’s been trying to teach him, as much as you can by infolink; she’s done enough jobs in Europe that it’s come up. Still isn’t half as good as him sitting on her couch, stumbling through words and scratching his beard and looking like he wants to die a little but he’s glad she’s there. They don’t get to do that enough.

He sighs. “I’ve got ‘Where are the cigarettes?’ and ‘Coat’s not for sale.’ Tokyo?”

“Pretty good. They’re less brutal on augs than a lot of other cities. Keeps things easy.” She remembers last week, and snorts. “One of my friends over there, she tried to set me up with some pilot from Beaumont Shipping. Looked like he’d been surprised too.”

He feels his fingers shift and tap on her back, and he exhales. “How’d it go?”

“We ended up buying each other a drink and talking for a couple hours. Mainly about how we were too damn busy to date anyone.” She laughs a little. “How about you?” She suspects she knows how it’s going, from the times they’ve seen each other; Adam’s still keeping to himself, still getting the occasional solitary drink and then heading home to fix something. “Fighting off the Czech ladies?”

It’s his turn to huff a humourless laugh. “Yeah, they just love the crazy American aug who’s never home.”

“Come on. You’re a good guy, Jensen. And kind of funny, once a year.”

He only moves his head a little, but she feels him pretend to glare at her, and that fast-stifled half-smile.

She exhales. “I know you’re playing dumb a lot of the time. Get why you had to, with Sarif, but I’ve seen your notes. And I remember the time you fixed up that pocket sec for me.”

   She falls asleep on the couch next to him while he’s still working on it, fingers glinting in the light. Slow, careful, the way he always pretends not to be. She wakes up with the blanket from the back of the couch thrown over her, tucked in at the edges. And she’s spread out a little while she was asleep, but she guesses he’s just kept working... ignoring her feet in his lap. And hey, it’s comfortable and his thighs are aug-toasty and he doesn’t seem bothered by it, so she stays where she is and lets herself wake up a little more. He’s looking at her, that same uncertain scared-softness in his face, eyes a little gold in the dimness. Like he’s wondering something.

She sticks her head out from under the blanket, knowing her hair has probably gone crazy.

He pauses, swallows. “Hey.” He swiftly turns his head and gets back to work.

And later, he does the same for the night, in a worn old shirt that has ridden up a little, black and gold feet on an arm-rest. They’ve seen each other maybe five, six times since Detroit, and at her place he always insists on taking the couch, or the floor, like him spending a little time with her is inconveniencing her. She’s passing to get her stuff to head to bed, and she pauses. His toes flex a little, and there’s a soft whirr of servos as he shifts in his sleep. For a second she sees the old scars on his skin under the shirt, how different his face looks when he isn’t holding himself back or pained or pissed-off.

Sometimes she forgets how damn handsome he is. Before, he was mourning his ex and they had a damn job to do, and a lot of the time he still acts like he’s a blunt instrument, hides behind the shades and the grunting and tries to make himself less human. But times like this, with his hair in his face and the beard getting stubbly and him breathing softly, she suddenly sees who he was before he came to Sarif.

It was a strange enough in-between feeling in the back of a VTOL, but this is… more. Not like just hanging out with her coworker.

She runs a glass of water and wonders at the weird ache in her chest. Because she isn’t used to seeing him like this, she guesses. But suddenly it feels like it would be easy to get used to it... like she’d like to see it more often. She wonders why it feels like it’s almost enough – and that thought’s too much, aches in a way she just can’t afford to think about. She shakes her head and goes to bed.

   He snorts, and somehow she knows that he’s looking away. He shrugs, just a little, trying not to jostle her.

It’s easier to say these things when she doesn’t have to look at him. “And you’re kind, when you’re not riling Frank up. Reliable.”

That laugh of denial, but she feels him tense, feels him get serious again. “And you’re not?” he says, desert-dry. He exhales, then, hand shifting on her back. “When I came back to Sarif, everyone treated me like I was a freak or the new show model.” Sometimes, times like these, he can’t hide the bitterness. “You were the only one who asked if I was alright. Nearly bit your head off for it.” He moves, and he must be looking away. “You saw... me. Felt like you liked what you saw.”

They’ve had their share of comfortable silences, but this one… isn’t. It’s surprised, curious. She isn’t sure he meant to say that, from his uncomfortable stiffness. He doesn’t talk about this stuff, not with more than ten adjacent words - unless he’s drunk or it’s been a damn close mission, or he’s so tired he’s practically drunk.

“I didn’t mean, uh...” He clears his throat. “I’m just saying, the queue in Tokyo should be round the block. Get the time constraints, though.”

“Yeah, Interpol must be pretty busy.” She considers leaving it there and getting them back to safer ground. She means to, honestly. Maybe any other time she would’ve; without being too close to him and too far away, without another year of chewing it all over, without him exhausted on her couch, without him freezing with her and telling her he doesn’t understand why people don’t wanna date her. She says, “I remember the first time I saw you.”

His head tilts, just a little.

“I was heading down to the coffee machine in the lobby – you know, where they put the actual good stuff, for the visitors.”

“Mm-hm.” It’s soft, amused but wary. He’s obviously wondering where the hell she’s going with this. That makes two of them. “Colombian.”

“I’d been flying all night and half the morning. I needed some damn sleep, but I figured I might survive another hour to get home on good coffee. Had to take the train. And… you know when Renee used to work at reception?”

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, you probably wouldn’t. You must have only met her a few times. Before you worked for SI. And I’m walking past, and there’s this cute guy talking to her. And he smiles at me, that polite smile you do when you accidentally made eye contact and you don’t want it to be awkward. And it’s nice, you know? He looks nice. And I’ve gotten to the coffee machine when I hear Megan come down, and… I don’t even know why, she must’ve gotten out early.”

“Anniversary plans,” he says, softly, like he’s realising it as he speaks. “We were going out for dinner.” She can feel him looking at her. “...That was me?”

“And I don’t know, I think she said your name and I was like, oh, this is the mystery guy. The cop who made her a coffee table and put a bow on it.”

“She told you about that?” He mutters, “Was easier than figuring out flatpack.”

“Uh-huh. She always told me it was a good coffee table.” She swallows, and tries to find her courage. “And she says his name, and he just… lights up. Subtle, he smiles like a cop, but you could see it. She walks over to him and he hugs her, kisses her, the whole nine yards. Looked crazy about her. And I forgot about it, but a couple years later Sarif introduces our new security chief, and he looks familiar. And I realise, ‘Oh, that’s the guy on Megan’s desk pictures.’”

“And you figured I got the job cause of Megan,” he replies, with a bitter half-laugh. “Yeah.”

“No. I just remember thinking that the man I saw had looked so… happy, and you looked like you’d had it beaten out of you. I wondered where that guy had gone. Wasn’t my business, we didn’t even know each other. But I realised pretty quickly… you were still in there. Even after the augs. And I liked both the guys I’d met.”

“I don’t… Malik...”

She means to explain. What comes out instead, soft and raw, is, “I did.”

“Hm?”

“I did. Like what I saw.”

She feels his surprise, feels him tense up against her. “Huh.”

She remembers thinking one day that she got it, whatever had led Megan into their… thing. Why Megan still looked at the guy like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

She doesn’t know when; could’ve been one of all those little acts of kindness. Could’ve been the first time he smiled at her, really smiled at her, not the tight smirks of completing a mission and getting out alive: kind of toothy, sharp white against the beard. Could’ve been the first time after the augs he took off the shades, like he wasn’t just waiting for the next fight or infiltration, and she got to see the eye crinkles that went with it. Could’ve been the time she landed and found him on the street, talking to one of the women from Hung Hua, telling her that he got it, that augs should always be a choice, that he hadn’t got the choice either, that it was gonna be alright, all gonna be alright. And Faridah pretended not to hear it.

   “How the hell… I heard what Sarif said. Sandoval was gonna shoot himself.”

It’s 3 AM and for once they’re the only people in the cafeteria, not even Frank or R&D heading down for all-nighter snacks. They’ve got a flight in fifteen minutes, and she has to ask.

He ducks his head. “Before SWAT, got sent to a lot of domestic stuff.” He scratches his beard and leans his arms on the polished table, smiling wanly in that way that isn’t really a smile at all. “Knew half the people in that neighbourhood anyway, but… they said I was pretty good at talking people down from the ledge.” He gestures at his face, his other arm, and the smile turns false. “Guess that was before I got these."

You still are, she thought, and she didn’t just mean that. She meant a little of everything. You still are.

   “Faridah,” he says softly, carefully, and she feels it down her spine. She’s never heard it like that. When she doesn’t respond, he says, “You’re right, Interpol is pretty busy. But it was more… I wasn’t looking for anyone in Prague.”

Shit. Here’s where he says something polite, something about how they can stay friends, something about Megan. This is him letting her down gently. Because the other option is that that gentle, rough tone is...

She stares at his tacvest, because she’s pretty sure this can’t actually be happening. Something like a year. A damn year. He’d have done something by now. He’d have… She tries to find something casual to say, something that won’t be… dangerous. “I know, things with Megan were still pretty...”

“I don’t mean her.” And he sounds like he actually means it, like it’s easy. “I… started thinking, in Prague. After we met again. Started to realise a few things.” He breathes, and maybe it shakes a little, and she thinks that in all the time she’s known him… she doesn’t think she’s ever seen Adam actually scared before. Maybe once, when he was heading to Omega Ranch and he wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t just find a body, that he’d get there too late. Never like this. Never soft-voiced, hand too-still against her back like he’s ready to take it away, like he figures she’ll tell him to get the hell away from her. “I thought maybe… you might be realising them too.”

   She stares at him - relieved, pained. “Jesus, it’s good to see you again.”

He stares back, wide-eyed, through long, wild hair and a too-long beard. The worst thing is, he still looks pretty good, because he’s Adam. Or maybe because she’s that much of an idiot. He puts aside the stun-gun he was checking. “Malik?” And just for a second, he forgets to put the privsec mask on, and it’s all stunned relief. “Did Pritchard - ”

“Yeah, Frank had to tell me. I thought you were dead, Jensen.”

“I...”He shuts his eyes. “Shit. I’m sorry. We couldn’t get comms in Alaska, but after – I should’ve said something.”

She’s got pretty good at keeping her eyes dry over the years, so she’ll be taken seriously in a flightsuit, but she damn near breaks. “Yeah, you should’ve.” She breathes, and tries not to be angry. There really weren’t comms in Alaska; Frank said it was a miracle he could get through. She tries to clear her head. “Here. I kept it, because I thought maybe… I don’t know what I thought.” And she thrusts the coat at him. It’ll be weird, not having it folded somewhere in the back of the VTOL like an unlucky charm. “Just in case.”

He unfolds himself and climbs to his feet, slowly. Tilts his head, in a little disbelief. “I figured you’d have forgotten.”

She realises, then. Jesus Christ, Adam. Her anger cracks and shatters. She raises the trench a little. “This, or you?”

He opens his mouth. Blinks, and looks away.

She crosses the space and hugs him, then. He draws in the smallest, startled breath. Then his arms are around her, too, his hand settling on her back, and his head falls onto her shoulder. “Thanks,” he says, in a breath, and holds her tight. Somehow, it feels like a life she thought was gone.

   “Adam...” she manages.

“Unless I’m wrong.” He swallows. “Pritchard’ll be here soon. Could kill the time playing I Spy.”

“Adam. You’ve got the craziest timing. But you’re not wrong.” She hears his drawn-in breath before he tries to hide it, feels his sudden stillness. Suddenly she needs, more than anything, to look at him. “You’re…” She snorts. “You’re really not wrong.”

He breathes out, heavily. He says, “First time I saw you fixing up the bird.”

“Huh?”

“Sometime after you came to my place in Prague. Guess there must have been SI engineers before, or I was dodging bullets. I’d never seen... And you were smiling. Like you were home. And I thought... she’s something special. Wish I could tell her that. And I realised that I wasn’t just… thinking it without thinking. Realised I was wondering. You were half-out of the flightsuit and you were covered in grease, and your hair was crazy, and you were…” He inhales and says, in a breath, “...you were beautiful.” She feels him shift and turn his head, eyelashes brushing her cheek. Feels the warmth of his breath.

She takes his arm, feeling the warmth of the augs and the faintest hum of Sarif tech, feeling his surprise. Jesus, he’s warm. Her hand slips downward until her fingers are on his, augs against gloves. She laces their fingers together, and he exhales, with that surprise again. This time she moves back, too, just enough to look at him.

He’s getting those particular frown lines between his eyebrows, when he’s worried as hell. The shield-ports just draw attention to them. He looks at her, eyes wide and green, face even paler than usual. Some part of him’s already resigned to rejection, like always – and that’s too much for her to stand around and take. He must see something in her face, some part of the wait, don’t go she’s feeling. He stares at her like he feels it, like he’s just starting to realise… His gaze traces over her eyes, her mouth. And then it lingers there.

Her heart clenches. She knows she’s gravitating toward him, can’t stop herself. He leans in, slowly, eyes constantly snapping back to hers like he isn’t sure of his welcome. His free hand comes up under her chin, gently raising her head -

- and then he’s kissing her. It’s soft and brief and dry, the barest breath against hers. She feels the slightest brush of beard, and she thinks his hand’s trembling, just a little; she didn’t know the augs could do that. It’s the furthest thing from the gruff shadow who came back to SI and pretended he didn’t have time for people. She tightens her hand against his and kisses back. She feels more than hears his surprised, delighted little noise. She kisses him with at least a year of confused, crazy longing, and he opens up and breathes with her, hand shifting, spreading against her cheek to bring her closer.

He pulls back first, breathless. He blinks at her and looks a little like someone just EMP’d him, or like he’s wondering if that just happened, too. She knows the feeling. He looks at her like he’s drinking her in.

She breaks first. She pulls him back and kisses him, and he responds in kind, hand clenching against his borrowed coat – like it’s the last chance they’ll get, like she’s not gonna see him for months while he goes off to try and get himself killed. I figured you’d have forgotten. Like hell that’s gonna happen again. She can take the extra flights, he can meet in the middle, they'll work something out.

“Faridah,” he pants against her mouth, “when did…?”

She hangs onto him, while she can. “I don’t know. Guess I was a little too busy flying you out of the fire to think about it. And I figured… there was Megan, and you were still in Europe. Figured it was never gonna happen, but I had a friend, and that was enough, right?”

“You too, huh?” And he almost looks like he’s gonna crack up at that, but it’s too sad. He looks down, consideringly, and says, “There wasn’t exactly much time to – Shit.“

Frank’s voice crackles to life in their infolinks. “Where are you two? This says you’re in some kind of remote… cabin.”

They sigh.

“Laboratory,” Faridah says, at the same time Adam does. They glance at each other, briefly. He’s still a little flushed. She says, “This is where the labs are. You think the weather’s clearing out enough for an exit?”

Frank hums. “I think you can try. The systems were failing from the… unexpected conditions, but I’ve got the weather doors open.”

“Thanks, Pritchard,” she says dryly.

There’s a pause over the comms. An assessing kind of pause. “...I don’t want to know, do I?”

Adam grits his teeth. “Francis...”

“Right, then that’s a no.” Frank cuts off the call with his usual fanfare.

Faridah can’t help herself, then: she laughs, head against Adam’s shoulder. She looks up, and he’s watching her, eyes so soft she has to stop a second and look back. She suddenly wonders how the hell he kept tucking this away, how she never noticed. Maybe it was the shades.

She says, “I think I’m gonna be all right for the walk back.” She steps back, and braces herself to freeze. “Here goes.” She starts walking, and he falls into step with her, a comfortable shadow a little way behind. It’s only when they reach the doors that she pauses. “Shit, I forgot.” She lifts her hands to the coat…

He puts a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be all right.” He looks down to the augs, where there’s still the faintest steam, then back to her, significantly. “Looks kinda cute with the thermalsuit.” He gives her a half-smile and a tilt of his head.

She shakes her head back, appalled, and grins.

He grins back, like he doesn’t even mean to: wide and kinda dorky, eyes crinkling. She’d almost forgotten what it looks like; in fact, she’s pretty sure she’s never seen this one. She’s... really glad she has now.

Yeah. They’ll work something out.

They head out into the storm, and he leans into her just a little, and not even the cold can dull the warmth in her chest.

[davidjjohnston3]

7.24.2021'Reflections of a Russian-Romantic-Orthodox-Post-Soviet Obstetrician / Aspiring Catholic-Post-Reformation-Unified-Church Pediatric Neurosurgeon (Divider of Freak-Conjoined Child-Brains) cum. Bethlehem College and Seminary M. Div. Global Studies + Savior of Worldwide North Korean Studies + Policy  + Final Flaming Sword Destroyer of Democrat Intellectual Arrogance, Child-Hate, God-Hate and Anti-Korean Racism' Flaming swords that divide people, change the world, change souls... Russia's determination to remember tragedy as well as mercy and a spirit of gentle adoption whereby they treat students and other young people much different from what I did; also Russian anti-Nazism - everlasting I imagine - in an age when respect-me-or-die attitudes, moral purity, intellectual hubris and Scientism, messianic corporatism and much else are either being accelerated or badly necromanced as everyone tries to settle every little score (an easy way to forget all the starvation, organ-harvesting, betrayal of human promise that is going on every second).  I'm only writing this because it's 7:08 in the morning and it's easier to write than not to write.  Lately I developed the habit of 'Holding the Dream' to paraphrase the title of a Nora Roberts novel about children that I tried to turn in to 'Project 521' in a gentler time.  I read a C.S. Lewis essay though I forget which one, perhaps 'Home,' about being known.  When I read this essay at night it reminds me of a more trusting whole time as does Knausgaard's 'A Time for Everything' whose title is a joke at several levels; a book I'll finish reading, if I even finish 'Autumn' which is my favorite work of his about an unborn daughter, a 'notebook-letter-bouquet' which is a genre I appreciate.For a while I felt I was close to greatness and that my mind and heart were in unison with those I most respect around this globe such as Chancellor John Piper with respect to abortion-culture - playing God - but no matter what I say this is a Maoist era in which power has to be backed by guns or other 'hard' resources.  I was also compelled or perhaps tempted to provide background for my spiritual development which in retrospect attracted 'assassins' who were only interested in cherry-picking my worst moment. I honestly came to feel that there is some 'unconditional evil, unconditional hatred' in some that makes them - no matter how nobly they speak or how hard they worked in the past - determined to destroy something at the end rather than build something or help someone or do what they said they would do.I wondered if I blasphemed someone or something so that God allowed the Prince of Darkness through these people, every professing Christians or family-members.  People are talking about spirit and intellect and insight but forget that Lucifer has all these in abundance.  I've had some delusions and kept responding to people outside of myself.  I learned a lot about people whom understanding was without purpose or profit as a) telling them to themselves, that their expectations were wrong or criminal or sadistic or nihilistic or of the party of 'the protest of ultimate futility' - the messaging whereby someone says ultimately nothing matters or you don't matter - was never going to alter their mindsb) this increased experience of human / spiritual evil didn't really constitute increase of knowledge, wisdom, understanding but only more 'CCP-esque pimp-love lie-fare gas-lighting brain-damage; brick to the head' or to put it more gently a wrong emphasis of factors which distorted mood or disposition as an orchestra with good rehearsal, preparation, and conductor could be eroded in the wrong hands over time, and people were just trying to wear me down in a 'Bleed France White' war of attrition against everything I've tried to be and do  I also realized of late the time had come to give up certain perquisites that I had had in mind to one day gain or 'help myself to.'  At the bottom of my soul I guess I always wanted to cash in; someone else on FB after the miraculous sparing of my life in 2012 started spreading around an experience that I had had with a student in 2012 which was nothing like the K-wave NC-17 version could have been the CCP deepfake character-assassination pretext for WW3 or Covid unrestricted biowarfare against white guys.  Words can't fly back in to the mouth that once let them out and at this point I have no idea what my legacy could be - or in a way hopefully no one even cares anymore although I suspect they keep some version of the story somewhere for a dinner-party IDK why I am saying this; you can reason with some people / try and teach them but if they have no compelling reason to change they might just savage youI wondered lately whether some people really believe.  They want life but their interpretation / understanding or imago of life - who knows?  'Tomorrow will be like today only more so' (Isaiah, mutatis mutandis).  They might love life or hate life but they want it and they also often don't care where it comes from, which is part of why right now the debate over social justice or the fact that so much in the United States comes from outside of the United States, or the fact that poor Millennials et al. are often still unable to get married and have children while Boomers ride emperor-on-palanquin- style on top of the Social Security system and reproach us for believing, like the title of a novel about Shanghai, 'What We Were Promised' at the breakfast-table or in (public, Democrato-Maoist-intellectual-town-bike-fruitbasket) schools about freedom, self-esteem, magic - world peace, nuclear disarmament, the 'salvation' of the natural environment, outer space, technology, non-traditional families, racial reconciliation, international adjudication of breaches of international law and esp. enforcement of human rights.  It struck me several times in recent months and years that the rulers, the sovereigns, the princes and great captains of the nations I admire such as Israel and Korea were often either a) special forces soldiers (such as Moon Jaein, Ehud Barak)b) human rights lawyers (Roh Moohyun, Moon Jaein again)c) spies (the individual who might actually have closest to total control of world-events right now; or at least the ultimate veto of everything and everyone, with variable selectivity and specificity / detail) I don't know if I was overreacting or what; I was comfortable with my 'modest income' from mental illness and felt adequately justified since I was engaged in respectable activities; I felt I hadn't really had a moment's rest in life since I was about 4, constantly shot at, judged, abused, thrown to wolves etc. and blamed for my own problems since I 'didn't "make" daddy____.'   I even believed I had a chance to re-emerge since everyone amid Covid appears to be essentially on the same side.  Before recent events I event felt an 'FDR-moment' / 'New Deal moment' was feasible under Biden though I now see clearly I believe that JRBJr. can't control his underlings, staff, et al. as FDR was able to do; and America and the world are simply too complicated.  Vladimir Putin was saying - and he doesn't always lie - basically that constitutional democracies are too weak.  Neoliberal+ shills, 'Wahh bureaucracy, Milton Friedman, grist for our mill, cliche, cliche, eat the poor, abandon the weak, post-partum-abortion, God is dead' but a lot of these people are part of a bureaucracy as well and Russia's got government bureaus, CCP does, Korea does.  Anyone who ever loved or admired Confucius or studied China knows - though many such as Ezra Vogel and Tu Weiming and some dumb-ass Australians and Indian-Singaporean pervert this knowledge for pleasure and profit - what can be achieved through sincere, spiritual, loving, reverent, educated, talented, qualified, also beauty-loving, statecraft.I guess the only question in a way is whether Microsoft themselves have nuclear weapons or Google built the guidance-systems or something and that's not an LRB title though if I had lived a purer life to this point I might be on staff there or at least they'd welcome me in the cake-shop.  Howbeit at this point my 'last wish' is kind of to die in Korea where they journalists are NOT affected or mercenary, and the rag-picking of ppl like me is not fake or ultimately egocentric / meretricious / simulacrum or sham-virtue (again I hate to talk about Nietzsche since I wanted to move on to just David Platt, Saint Augustine, John Piper, John MacArthur, global Christianity 2022).  Korea's also, I noticed, a country where the Covid body-account appears to be honest and I know for a fact, as Dr., Prof, much else Eric Feigl-Ding has been talking about on Twitter about 25 hours a day, a country in which the Democrat mentality of 'you got sick you're stupid' or the Milwaukee mentality of 'you got sick bypass watch you die joke at bar but we're still good Christians South Park Satan must be good to be evil sometimes' isn't in effect and people have resolved to do everything they can both to prevent and to mitigate as well to contain or pocket though no one wants to talk much about that.  Like I said the other day I wish I were in Korea; I also had a dream about one of those free-standing station-stops in rural Japan that reminded me of 'Cafe Lumiere' by Hou Hsiao Hsien and a conversation I had with Prof. Ban Wang fmr. Rutgers and last I checked Stanford about how Japan had built these intricate rail-systems in order to help preserve rural culture.  Another good film about rural Japan is 'Hanamizuki' although IDK if post-Covid anyone is going to want to talk again about micro-sized kindergartens, the Iraq War, fishing, the meanings of trees, following through on commitments or promises, or returning gratitude and love.  IDK whether the stuff I read over the last 5-10 years about housing-prices in places like rural Japan or, alternatively, Vladivostok are as low as I've read but if they have good internet I might go if only b/c  people there aren't interested in teaching you every lesson or extracting the max. from you then leaving you to die in the name of 'getting to know one.'  There's a short Somerset Maugham book called 'The Moon and Sixpence' though I don't admire Maugham that much and prefer his literary criticism / critical appreciations of other writers and cultures to his fiction but it feels like what some people are looking for today is more like 'huge amounts of money, charming personality, offer we can't refuse, satisfying sexual favor or we either vivisect you or pozz you up with 1st-gen anti-psychotics / kill you with ECT and still deny the exist of God, as well as demons.'My other privileged Millennial friends are all mad at me for not bearing fruit and my 'last love' said I dishonored my parents but Koreans  & maybe they don't get just how much Mark Johnston et al. are totally committed to reversing course at the most destructive possible moments and never paying what they said they'd pay; like how terrorists will sometimes detonate one bomb for the civilians and another for the first responders on the scene - though maybe I just ran out of chances.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

BEATING THE OTHER 95% OF THE RECESSION

The reason not to put all your eggs in one basket is not the great mystery it seems from outside. Investors don't like to have too much money. If you want to be a vehicle for several different types of advertising. An adult can distance himself enough from the situation to say never mind, I'm just tired. The software business learned that in the way they treat the music they sell through iTunes. Don't be evil so eagerly was not so much to sell stuff to big companies that the people likely to make the software easy to use and we hosted the site. But many will want a copy of your business plan, if you can choose when you raise money, you have to choose cofounders and how hard you have to be disciplined about not letting your hypotheses harden into anything more. And while young founders are at a disadvantage in some respects, they're the only ones who really understand their peers. Which means it doesn't cost much more to start a startup? If you're small, you can't outsell an Oracle salesman. Then the algorithm for language design becomes: look at something people are trying to do the same for any firm you talk to. That's why things get so much email?

And once you apply that kind of brain power to petty but profitable questions, you can pick a time when one failed to do something unscalably laborious to get started painting that ten minutes of rearranging feels very long. It was more like the rate of evolution in programming languages is more like the rate of evolution in programming languages is more like the small man sad, said Confucius. Moral fashions more often seem to be what Google turned out to be a hacker; I was a philosophy major in college. But even a proximate cause of death is listed as ran out of funding, but that's not the way to the lab. The best was that the three-month batch format, which we were forced into by the constraints of research. In a place where there are a lot of external evidence that benevolence works. So you start painting. Being at the leading edge of a domain that's changing fast, when you have a big pool of potential users in the other companies we've funded, and the same rule about risk applies there. If your aim in life is not just that one's brain is less malleable. It's true they have a long tradition of comparative open-mindedness.

No one dared put on attitude around Robert, because he was a programmer that Facebook seemed a good idea to Mark Zuckerberg as because he used computers so much. They're like someone stuck in an abusive relationship. If there's something we can't say, what do you need a brain that's in the habit of going where it's not supposed to. But all it takes is for one big investor to cool on you, and a vehicle for experimenting with its own design. I am more fulfilled in my work than pretty much any of my friends are starting to have children now, and when they did their IPO, and Wall Street didn't buy. If you're getting far along with investor B, but you'd rather raise money from A, but you can stay big by being nice, but you have less control over the stimuli that spark ideas when they hit it. What's missing or broken in your daily life?1 At one of the reasons I like being part of the language, and adults use them all the time.

But if you're looking for space for a startup, ask yourself: who wants this right now? Raising money is a huge time suck at just the point where you can throw together an unbelievably inefficient version 1 of a program, when you think about it, but there's enough overlap that this remark contradicts them. Because I didn't realize I would spend almost every waking moment either working or thinking about our startup. So by this point you've been riding on a subway line for twenty years, and then come back to their offices to implement them. One of the biggest dangers of not using the organic method. Most startups that fail do it because they don't have sufficient flexibility to adapt to them. It's so simple.2 But it's harder, because now that there are moral fashions too.

Notes

This is actually a great idea as an asset class. They'd freak if they don't have to follow redirects, and it doesn't cost anything. Because in medieval towns, monopolies and guild regulations initially slowed the development of new inventions until they become well enough to do would be to write a book about how to be employees is to use an OS that doesn't seem to like to cluster together as much the better, because unions will exert political pressure against Airbnb than hotel companies. You should take a lesson from the rule of law.

Many people feel confused and depressed in their IPO filing.

[yourstrulyjuly]

Still unsure what I got myself into, but 3 weeks prior to this trip, I simply told my parents, “I’m going to Taiwan,” and the first solo travel to a country I have never set foot on happened.

Trust me, it was not the broken heart that prompted me, not even the thought of possibly seeing Dao Ming Si and the rest of F4, nor the plethora of dimsum goodness in their night markets. Blame it on adrenaline, maybe?

It was not my first time abroad and not my first solo trip either, but the struggle was real when I had to pass through Philippine immigration and prove myself that I deserved to travel alone and that I was worthy of that vacation. Haha.

Disclaimer: This is not a legit travel guide, so read at your own risk. Hahaha. I tried to put the details and links that might help you if you ever plan to visit Taiwan. Starting November 1, 2017 until July 31, 2018, Filipinos are granted visa-free entry to Taiwan for 14 days. UPDATE: It has been extended to July 31, 2019! I went there on the first week of December 2017 which kicks off the winter season.

I checked in at Taipei Taipei Hostel where everything is strategically located especially the Taipei Main Station. From Taoyuan International Airport, I traveled for about an hour to the main city via Kuo-Kuang Bus 1819. (Fare at NTD125/P222) Also, getting an Easy Card made every commute more convenient and hassle-free.  

A rare sight in the heart of the city is one of the gates of Taipei City Wall, the North Gate or Cheng-en Gate. Day one was spent wandering along the bustling streets of Taipei, visiting Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall (and chanced upon the Guards Changing Ceremony) and seeing the world’s famous Taipei 101. Thanks to Klook for my pocket wifi! It was so easy to navigate around using Google Maps.

By riding the metro, take the Blue Line and alight at Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall Station (BL15). I decided to walk from the memorial hall to Taipei 101 which I kind of regret because strolling for thousands of meters in the middle of winter breeze absolutely turned my legs into jelly! Wisdom from the road: Get a copy of the train route!

Finally!!! Some authentic Taiwanese food at Din Tai Fung located at the basement level of Taipei 101. Of course, I had the most-talked about xiao long bao. I was supposed to try it at their original branch in Xinyi Road, but on that very moment, I could no longer wait to give my feet a rest. Hahaha. 

Prepare to get drunk by milk tea! Haha. Taiwan is the mecca for pearl milk tea lovers and I made sure to satisfy my daily fix.

I set day 2 of my itinerary to meet a friend who apparently works in Taiwan. However, she is based in Tainan that’s about 4 hours by train south of Taipei, so we decided to meet halfway—in Taichung. 

Confusion was written all over my face when I arrived in Taipei Main Station, but the guy at the information center was helpful enough to write the directions in Chinese and told me to just show it at the ticket booth. (Fare at NTD375/P665 one way for 2 hours)

After alighting at the wrong station (panic rising all over me!) and leaving the wrong exit, after getting lost and frozen because Google Maps was not working, I can finally say it was one roller coaster of a reunion! 

It was so amazing to be reunited with my close friend from grade school! I remember spending my lunch breaks in her cozy home. Fifteen years later and nothing has ever changed between us, except having our lunch about 900 miles away. 

We initially planned to check Houli Flower Farm, but the lady at the station said that the farm was already closed for that day. We just hailed a cab from Taichung Station going to Rainbow Village and admired the vibrant artworks of a veteran soldier everyone fondly called Rainbow Grandpa. 

It was about midnight when I arrived from Taichung (I almost booked a room to spend the night because I was a bit anxious to go back to Taipei, but felt so relieved I made it alive!) that I woke up late on my 3rd day and missed breakfast hours at the hostel.

This stall was my lifesaver! They sell the best to-go steamed buns and soya milk! (NTD15/P26 each) P.S. They are all over Taipei! The rain did not stop me to proceed to Jiufen, an old mining town in the mountain area of Ruifang District. 

It must be a blessing in disguise that Klook ran out of tickets for their Jiufen group tour because I got to explore it on my own. And by far, it was one of the highlights of my entire trip. How to get there? Use the metro and alight at the Blue and Brown Line interchange (Zhongxiao Fuxing Station), leave from Exit 2, ride Keelung Bus 1062 to Jinguashi and get off at Jiufen.

Relive the scenes from the animated movie Spirited Away by exploring the lanes and alleys packed with a wide variety of restaurants, shops and cafes. Peanut ice cream wrap is a must-try even on a cold weather! 

From Jiufen I went straight to Shilin Night Market to make the most of my food adventure in Taiwan. Stinky tofu, anyone? Take the Red Line and alight at Jiantan Station (R15). 

You know when they say, “Eat like a local.” Day 4 started with a brunch somewhere in a sidewalk and a visit to Dalongdong Bao’an Temple. By MRT, take the Red Line, alight at Yuanshan Station (R14) and leave from Exit 2. Walk down Kulun St., turn right at the intersection of Dalong St. (walk past Taipei Confucius Temple) and turn left on Hami St. 

Bao’an Temple has received the UNESCO Asia-Pacific Awards for Culture Heritage Conservation in 2003. The Taipei Confucius Temple is another must-see destination within Datong District. Except for the ongoing pictorial, I sincerely loved the solemnity of the place.

Next stop was the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall, a national monument in honor and memory of their former president. Take the Green Line or Red Line and alight at CKS Memorial Hall Station (G10 or R08).

To say that I am an avid fan of Meteor Garden is an understatement. I remember hoarding pirated VCDs just so I don’t miss out on an episode, asking my dad to buy every single memento sold at Divisoria, and collecting their posters and giving away some to our neighbors because my room ran out of space.

That is why I could not contain my fangirling moment when I reached the gates of National Taiwan University (Green Line, Gongguan Station or G07) where some of the scenes were filmed. Feel free to roam around and be your own version of Shan Cai.

My last day in Taiwan was spent at the ... airport! Haha. My flight back to Cebu was delayed for 4 freaking hours, but shops for pasalubong got me covered. I actually had no idea how to get there (my bad!) and I was already on the verge of panic ‘cause I might miss my flight and hiring a cab will surely dig a hole in my wallet (fare starts at NTD1,000/P1,780), so I just followed everyone carrying a luggage. Hahaha.

Going on a solo trip is quite challenging, yet it equally feels liberating. Unexpected circumstances had come my way, but it did not hinder me to enjoy such beautiful moments--of experiencing new culture, meeting new people, and discovering more about myself. ♥

[apples-and-bananas]

India

It was just another one of those generic days I had in my life, but it’s my favorite part of the day so I drift off to sleep and forget all that’s happening with the world for a while. It hasn’t been long, but I was suddenly awake and oddly in a vast forest, my anxiousness is driving me crazy by now, I’m frantic and I don’t know what to do, but before I can even attempt something, my arms are growing feather out of the blue, and my lips are turning into a beak, and I’m covered with more feathers and the next thing I know I’m flying. As I was wandering I got caught in a trap, I was caged. Another bird came whom it’s the first time I saw but strangely very familiar. He was encouraging me to get out but a voice inside is dictating me that says I should tell him to come to me instead. But, he also does not want to compromise. He faced me saying things I haven’t heard before, if I was in my human form I would probably swoon but the bird that I am right now is just so persistent with her belief that I can’t even meddle with her decisions. So as I watch the bird flew away from my sight, into the vast sky, there’s this unconscious feeling as if my heart is getting stabbed. I am hurt, I want to do something to ease the pain, but I’m in no control. I was just about to catch myself and allow myself to breathe, but I was panting this time, and tears were still streaming down my face. I think to myself, “How much caffeine did I took today because I’m definitely going crazy.” I’m alone, but I feel enslaved. It’s like my heart is somewhere else, waiting to be picked up by someone I can call my own. I stretched my arms and realized that, I may be back in human form, but not in my body, this woman is basically a goddess with these long arms and legs. As I sat there, staring at my reflection, admiring all the physical features that this woman has, someone called out, “Sita!” The automatic head turn that I made proved to me that it’s this woman’s name. There stood a man with equal goddess feature as she has, I may be delusional right now, but I can guarantee he’s coming my way (running even), and before I could even do or say anything I am enveloped in his strong arms. The warmth is so welcoming as if I’m home, the cozy feeling makes me dreamy and I would definitely trade anything in exchange for this hug. He looked at my face while saying something I didn’t understand, but it made my heart flutter with joy and content. The interesting part is I responded with the same language. We smiled at each other and can’t bear to have the distance between us anymore so he cupped my face, caressed my cheek and slowly closing the space that’s separating us, he’s about to kiss me when… I was all of the sudden awake and conscious.

China

It’s been a week since that odd dream occurred, which is also very detailed and feels so true that it’s hard to fathom whether it was a dream or did it really happen in real life. As much as I would not like to admit to myself, there’s this huge part of me that just wants to experience it all over again. I am a daydreamer, so imagining things would be easy if I’m conscious, but sadly, I don’t have any control over my real dreams, those that occur in the deepest depth of my slumber. Strange as it is, I kind of feel bothered this day as if something’s bound to happen, and then there it is. As I was drifting off to sleep there was an instant snap of enlightenment, and as I get to sleep longer and deeper, I opened my eyes again to be greeted by an old man who has a warm presence, smile that make you respect him, and eyes that make you trust him. My premonition was right, something’s happening indeed, and it’s not that overwhelming this time, it’s just oddly familiar. I smiled back at him and ask him where we are and he said, “Impossible as it may, only you can tell where we really are.” You know that typical voice of wise old people? His voice is like that, it’s a carbon copy of those stereotypical voices. Cliché as it is, he really sound and look like an Asian God right now, and I don’t mean it in a racist type of way it’s just that I feel like I can be vulnerable around him without worrying that he may judge me or reprimand me because he understands that I am not flawless, that I’m just perfectly flawed like anybody else. Just like that, as if reading my mind, he told me, “I know that life can get pretty rough, fatal even. It’s not an easy path, many have attempted to fulfill their shortcomings only to be flooded by tons of criticisms and hatred which leaves them doubtful of themselves, but always remember, being aware of one’s self is the power that nobody can destroy because if you know your capabilities and weaknesses, that will be the time that acceptance will come to your way and makes you a better individual, not for others, but for yourself.” I feel like I’m being thrown with first-hand kind of lectures from experiences right now, but regardless of that, every word that he said is actually true, and I am honestly considering it because it seems worthy. I shoot my shot again of clarifying my current situation by asking him who he is and he responded with, “They call me Confucius.” Just like that I was awake again, without even having the chance to reply to him and ask, “SO YOU’RE THE CONFUCIUS!?”

Japan

By this time, I’m already thinking that I may just be a delusional and obsessed literary freak, but who can blame me? I am just so eager to play a role that I even forgot my responsibilities in real life. I’m just so tired of everything, and I honestly would like a break that would set me free from any inhibitions that I have for myself. But, that would be too much to ask right? However, I’ve been reading about lucid dreaming lately and I would like to try it. I’ve been thinking about a scene of going to Japan and as soon as I set foot there, it would become the land that history books describe it to be, and I would be in a classic and traditional Japanese community. All of a sudden, the place was swarmed with many people, the ones peaceful streets were now full of people. The strange thing is, people seem to not notice me and I didn’t know what was happening until they continuously get pass through me, and an absurd thing came to my mind, that maybe I’m a ghost because that’s how movies describe them to be right? They are not seen by the naked eye. So, to test my theory, I blew on one person’s ear and he looked at his shoulder to see if someone’s there, but he still doesn’t see me because he just shrugged it off as if it’s just a strong wind. I traveled aimlessly and can’t interact with a single alive soul because I’m apparently a ghost. I came across this one village that seemed gloomy and has an unusual number of young villagers without old people. However, I saw this one man who looks bothered, and with curiosity, I followed him to his home and there I found out why. He was hiding her old mother in her house although I’m still not sure why he’s doing that, but I could tell that his love for his mother is overwhelming that he could take any consequences that may happen just to keep her by his side. Even if I’m just a soul in this particular place, I can still feel the surge of empathy for the both of them because I have a weak spot for circumstances that involves parents and their sacrifices. I was about to do something when I was teleported in this hot place that looks like a volcano which seems ready to erupt anytime. I see this terrible site of people suffering from their own sins, unable to quench their thirst because of their own pride, and drowning from their own desires. I am a terrible person, but I feel like I don’t deserve to be here. I am now questioning myself because this may not be a dream anymore, maybe I’m really meant to be damned either dead or alive, but I feel this human emotion within me, the need to escape and leave this place. A man was climbing through a thin rope and the others followed, I just stood there frozen and hesitant of doing anything. The man leading seem to look furious and you can see the eagerness in his eyes, he cut the rope and everybody else fell, soon enough, he is also falling. I was sucked in a brighter yet calmer environment, no screams and crying were heard in the background, the air smells nice, and then a voice spoke and said, “Greediness is why we fail, patience create a decision that changes our fate. I woke up and said, “Being clueless is much different from being patient.”

Egypt

I stumbled upon pieces of writing yesterday which were blatantly dull yet oddly enchanting, I wouldn’t be surprised if I would be inside this thing any minute now because I’m bound to sleep, and just as quickly, I am in a sort of desert location with a strange Egyptian type of music playing in the background. My game is way too strong with these dreams now, and I’m not going to lie, I’m really growing fond of it. Desert as it is, the place looks deserted, I don’t see people, and all I see are tall pyramids and endless grains of sand. As if somebody heard my unspoken thoughts, people started appearing in lines, carrying things, entering the pyramids. I don’t know why I’m even wondering how things go for my dreams because basically, it is controlled by my own thoughts so it would be connected somehow, so I should stop being shocked how events would turn out just as I question them. I followed these people inside an enclosed place with tombs and there were bodies in the shelves which are already wrapped. I saw bodies, dead bodies lying on the ground. I’m the only one who stood there and found this situation very mortifyingly new to me, but the people were acting as if it’s just a normal thing they do. They were doing some rituals and started plastering the body with I don’t know what that material is but it seems like I’m witnessing the process of mummification, and since I can’t handle the reek of unpleasant smell anymore, I went out and was greeted by a strong swoop of wind with sand that just slaps and sticks on your face. My eyes were caught by engraved drawings that you typically see in history books that tells about Egypt. There were texts too, but nothing that I could understand until I saw two English words, and it says, “Wake up.” I touched it and I was sucked in reality, my alarms going off and I am incredibly late. Wonderful.

Israel

If anything of the things I say really do matter, I think I would explain that religion is a necessary fiction that humanity needs to stay humane and not rip and eat each other’s head off. But, the thing is, I’m not the most religious person in the world, however that does not disqualify or invalidate me from having opinions regarding this matter, and the only point I’m trying to prove here is that, people created this system in order to preserve sanity because it unites us. Having faith to whomever divine entity is present surely empowers us, but wait until everyone realizes the fact that we’re not patronizing these Gods and Goddesses, instead, we’re patronizing ourselves because the only reason why we keep coming back and holding on to this prospect is because it makes us feel positive emotions that supposedly inspires us to be a better person, if not, what may be the greatest reason there is.

It’s 3 in the morning, and I just finished my essay regarding religion and trust me if I say it’s much more exhausting that it should be because I need to choose my words carefully in order to make a point and at the same time be responsible on not offending anybody (including my professor who will check and read it and is obviously pious.) Now, I’ve been having a hunch about having a dream about this, so I got up and drank a glass of water and went under my covers, and my fingers acted upon themselves and did the sign of the cross, well habits never dies I guess even if I’m the least faithful person I know. I have arrived at my dream’s destination and as I thought, I was in the Jewish community. As I was going down to the stairs an old woman approached me and said, “My dear, isn’t it time that I try to find a husband for you, and get you happily married again? The man I’m thinking of is Boaz!” The mention of his name made my heart warm, but not warm enough to make me marry him, however, a voice in my head keep on saying things about God’s will and everything which is incredibly absurd I just can’t take much of it anymore. This Boaz came to me and ask me who I was and said I was Ruth and without further control of my speech, I uttered, “Make me your wife according to God’s law, for you are my close relative.” I don’t know what I would make about myself anymore, I’m throwing myself to this man, whom I barely know, but I felt helpless about the situation because I cannot fight over the will of God. The closest relative to my dead husband is supposedly buying the land and I am really shocked with the next thing that Boaz said, “Your purchase of the land from Naomi requires your marriage to Ruth, so that she can have children to carry on her husband’s name and to inherit the land.” I am really powerless as a woman, I felt sorry for the woman who had to go through such thing, they are sold with a piece of land or whatever property, it’s miserable. I struggled to detach myself from that dream, so I slapped my face really hard, and when I woke up I said, “Woman, when will you be free?”

Iran

Remember when I said religion unites us? Well, it has its contradiction when we believe in different things and Gods per se, but don’t get me wrong, I think we really do have a choice on the things that we want to believe in, it’s just a matter of acceptance that not everyone is like you, that not everyone believe the things you believe in and thinks the way you do, we just have to respect that. But, who are we kidding? People don’t just give up without a fight, see where we are right now, divided because of our different faiths, but we call ourselves faithful, how ironic. I have read Omar Khayyam’s Rubaiyat, and it incredibly made so much sense, I was just wondering how the world would be if we just appreciate each other like this, see, I’m Christian but I find sensible things to this literary piece because I can see what he’s talking about, the problem is that we’re so prideful of ourselves that we don’t even want to back down, we don’t know how to accept our flaws and we don’t want to be criticized. I am here in the library having a debate with my thoughts and just thinking of possibilities that better decisions would make. We all know how mood in the library can get and I’m really sleepy right now, so I took a nap, and we all know what’s next. I am in a market and I am definitely sure I’m in an Islamic country (I’m quite stereotypical). I entered a stall and a man was sitting there, he asked me to sit, so I did. He was lecturing me about the Qur’an and I don’t know why I suddenly had the urge to say, “Oh I’m sorry, I’m Christian, you can’t convince me to believe THIS.” I swear I could just smack my head right then and there, but he just smiled at me and said, “I never ask or persuade you to convert my child, I was just sharing what I believe in and hope you would do the same in return, so we could understand each other better. I am aware of my flaws, and I know I can sound provoking sometimes, but I understand you, I hope I can get the same in return.” I look really stupid right now, and all I could say is sorry and he replied with, “Forgiveness is easy if it’s meant by the heart, and I forgive you, now it’s time to forgive yourself.” I just stared at him until I gained consciousness, damn, I’m really dumb as a rock.

Saudi Arabia

I am really exhausted right now, this week has been really hectic, partnered by my procrastination, and well everything is just a plain mess. I slept without even taking a shower because I am that tired, only to find myself in a desert once again. There’s this little girl who is as bright as a sunshine and you can see it from a far distance. When she was finally alone, I approached her and she immediately greeted me with a huge smile on her face and even hugged me, stranger-danger isn’t a thing with this girl apparently. She asked me where I’m from, but I don’t know what to say, and there’s this silly voice in my head saying I should ask her that instead because she’s basically in my dreams, so I just answered with, “I came from a very far place.” She’s now giggling and asking me to tell stories of the place I am from, so I’m just wondering whether or not to tell her about phones and other weird stuff we have right now. I was in the middle of telling her about Dory finding her parents when I was cut-off as a man came to tell that this great sheik Ben Nedi will visit their tribe the next day. I was with this little girl the whole time now I found out that her name is Zuleika, and I sat with her as she was crying and told me that she had no gift to give the great man who would come the next day. We were both shocked when a fairy came out from the well and told her that her gift for Ben Nedi will arrive tomorrow, so she should stop crying. We were both anticipating and when we went back to that area, a tall tree grew which was straight and bare except the top, where it carried a tuft of branching leaves and a cluster of brownish fruit. Ben Nedi exclaimed that it is the greatest gift of all, and I guess this was kind of a legend for palm dates.

Africa

Colorism, racism and everything in its context is just so childish in my opinion. We are all different in so many aspects and finding it absurd makes you look idiotic, no lies. The reason why I’m saying this is because I saw a video of a crusty white man mocking a beautiful man who had dark chocolate skin calling him ugly because of his color. Some people are just so stupid and immature who don’t even know their places, I mean we’re all human beings the last time I checked, so why are you so pressed about someone’s color? I was just about to rant and tweet things, but an old man with big beautiful afro curls and dark skin approached me and ask if I could accompany him finding a place and since I know where that is I said okay. I gladly accepted because why not, I really have a soft heart for older people. While we were walking he asked me why did I agreed so easily without even a moment of hesitation, and I replied with, “Because you need my help.” And I smiled at him while he smiled in return. He asked me a question again but this time it is more skeptical, he said, “Weren’t you bothered of the color of my skin? You see, I had quite a lot of rejections and such because of this.” And I said, “Black, white, or brown, everybody looks the same to me, not that I’m colorblind, but my point is, everyone needs to be treated fairly, no dominating over the other everyone should be the same.” And then lastly he said, “You are a very kind individual, now, wake up and be the person I met here. Bless you.” I looked up and I see the library, well I guess I have slept again, this just explains how I love being asleep.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s01e13 Poison review

Episode 13 – Poison

Whew. Last episode was all over the place for me emotionally, especially finding Billie inside the vents. I mean, really? Talk about stressing my nerves.

Also, this episode’s name isn’t comforting at all and I’m already nervous.

Let’s see what this one brings.

Ooh, lone road in the woods, set to dramatic music in Beachwood, New Jersey. New Jersey? Really? Oh lord. Does this have to do with hookers?

A dad and a kid driving along the road. And why is that guy trying to scare the crap out of his kid?

“You said ‘nyaah’, ‘nyaah’ is exactly halfway between yeah and nah,” oh you teasing fucker.

“That is the kind of answer I would tell my students is ambiguous, was that your intent?” “More or less.” Oh shit! That was awesome!

So he’s divorced.

Oh crap. I saw that deer! Why can’t the kid see it?

And of course he has a flat with a swerve like that.

So he leaves his kid alone in the dark in a car while he goes to check on the flat tire? Ugh. Especially after seeing that scary movie they were talking about.

Ok, that is more than wind, dude. What the fuck is going on there?

Uh yeah, that is the best advice you gave your kid so far. Stay in the car, kid.

Ok, that looks like a bad trip. Is he on acid?

And it’s morning! Police is coming to investigate! What do we have here?

Oh shit, the door is open, the kid is out of the car. What the fuck? Why is the dad freaking out in the driver’s seat? Oh shit. He was on something heavy last night. What!!!!!!!!!!! The kid is dead????????? What????????? Oh, ok. He’s unconscious with a lot of bruises.

Oh my god, the dad looks totally broken up, there is no way he did it consciously, but the guy is like totally doped up.

Oh, he was on LSD. Yikers.

Oh wow, that’s a lot of junkies. Crap.

Poisoned? Hot damn, Gideon. That’s one heck of an accusation.

Why is Kirsten not a regular yet? Damn you, ABC!

Lucretius: “What is food to one, is to others bitter poison.” So apt!

So a dead old lady and a kid with a fractured skull in a coma? Wowzers.

Ok, Shemar Moore looking thoughtful is the sexiest thing ever.

So his wife cheated on him, in his house, and the kid was angry with his dad for divorcing her? Damn. That kid is one stupid bastard. Oh god, he is so broken up over the kid, damn. Poor thing.

They roofied them? Hot damn.

That girl looks unstable. Why isn’t she in school? Is that a bruise on her neck? What the fuck.

Her boyfriend raped her? Beat her up? What the fuck? Ugh oh my god.

And now he’s calling her out of the blue? Why the hell would he do that? Ugh, oh my god that kid is bad news. Please take her of her, Elle. Please.

Ooh, I hear a motorcycle! That is the boyfriend, just put that kid under arrest! Ugh.

You go, Elle!

So they had sex, while she was on something, and then she woke up and started tripping? Doesn’t sound right. Like what the hell?

And how does Derek know so much about drugs? Hmmm ….

Ugh great, they leaked the info out. Oh boy.

And everyone is freaking out. Lovely.

A patient who’s barely breathing, that is definitely not psychosomatic.

And I can’t believe I’m jealous of that coffee cup in Shemar’s hands. Fuck. This is unhealthy.

Damn that woman is seriously damaged from the drug. Fuck.

Poisoned at a bank? What the actual hell.

“The end?” what does that mean unless it is her end? Damn.

Aw, Derek has a flip phone!!! So 2005 XD

They think they poisoned the candies? Damn.

Aw Reid is so broken up over death, I love you pretty boy!

Um, suspicious janitor guy in a cap, six o’clock. Damn.

And I realized I’m using ‘damn’ a lot haha oh boy.

New Jersey is the pharmaceutical and chemical capital of the US. Good to know.

They’re looking for chemists and sophisticated lab assistants. Cool.

Hitchcock Pharmaceuticals. Sounds ominous.

“Hitchcock is a giant company, sugar shack,” oh Penelope! I love you! “I’m on it, angel.” Someone give that girl an Emmy.

The local reservoir? You just went extreme paranoid, Derek. Wow.

A company retreat? Perfect opportunity, dude.

“Talk to me, hot stuff,” “Get this, Cochise,” oh god, someone get these two a room, please. Preferably with low mood lighting and some bubbly and a pint of chocolate body paint.

Oh, an FBI raid, awesome!

Oh crap, a smoke detonator! I love all those bells and whistles.

Oh crap, Shemar just put a gun to that guy’s neck. Damn. I’m so messed up I find this hot. Fuck.

That guy looks messed up himself.

So that guy is so caught up in thinking that the company is taking away everything form hi m by working him too hard and laying him off? Ugh. He looks sweaty as hell and so fucked up.

Wait. Hotch was a prosecutor, not a lawyer. Why is he offering his services as a lawyer? What? I’m confused.

He poisoned the punch bowl? Why did he tell them that?

Diabetic? And poisoned? They wouldn’t have taken a candy, Reid is right.

The envelopes were poisoned! Oh shit. He put it in the sticky part that you lick! Fuck!

He’s killing himself? Why? What he fuck. They can’t find the poison thingy without him now. Fuck.

The retreat. Fuck.

Oh crap. There are a ton of envelopes. And the point is they have to seal it, by licking. Fuck.

Oh thank god they sent out a chopper.

Hahahaha oh my god, Reid just totally jumped that low wall like a spinning top, I love you!

Oh crap, they were totally fucked over with that stuff. Damn.

Confucius: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Oh snap, man! And true.

Awwww, sleeping Gideon is so cute!

 So this started pretty messed up and not really making sense. I’m kind of disappointed with the lack of Penelope, I wish there was more, but they used cute nicknames so I can’t really be mad at them. And Spencer was so cute! I love this show so much.

See you all next time, folks!

[mazwistar]

...I started listening attentively to teachers and I stopped drawing cartoons in class. I started pre-reading topics before every class and stopped socialising until the teacher comes in. I started using free time during short break and lunch to do some assignments to offload. I started completing my home works at home instead of waiting to copy from my classmates in the following morning. I started reading on the bus on my way home and to school. I started consulting from those who were ahead of me and believed that for every problem there is a solution. I also started testing myself before I write a test from my teachers, a golden strategy. School suddenly became fascinating again. ...

FROM AVERAGE TO OUTSTANDING (HIGH SCHOOL BREAKTHROUGH)

My Name is Mazwi Thabiso Magagula. Today I want to share with you my High School Journey. This is dedicated to everyone who may be reading or listening to this, If you’re in school I hope you get inspired.

It all started at Mabhibha Primary School, now known as Buhlebuyeza Primary, in 2003. Yes I am one of those who skipped grade zero for reasons I don’t wish to know. I don’t remember much details about my primary school days, because you know everything was on automatic pilot then, but I do remember that I never repeated a class and I passed my Standard 5 external examination with a good second class and I was exhilarated I was going to secondary high school. A new school and new environment was worth exploring.

In 2010, I was admitted to one of the local High Schools, Dvokolwako High to pursue my Junior Certificate. I felt like “I made it” until what I then perceived ‘’discrimination’’ popped in. There they were streaming us into select classes in accordance with our primary school performances. An activity I hated and obviously deemed unfair and painful. Honestly I felt discriminated. How could they? But then I also thought to myself “Who I am, to be in the same class with the most brilliant students?’’ I started to recall that I was from Mabhibha, a school which recently tested the bottom 3, worst performing primary schools in the country. I was crushed. I felt inferior and unwelcomed.

There were five classrooms reserved for form 1s that year. Form 1 A to E. The cream pupils were loaded in the A classroom, yes your merits and first classes. On the B classroom there were the better pupils so I thought. There was not much difference between the C, D and E classrooms but, you know, there was no way you wouldn’t feel like the dulliest pupil in the whole form 1 if you were like me in Form 1E. I hated myself, I hated the system, I despised my colleagues (well more than half of the class were regular culprits as expected from Eeee pupils), and you know everyone would get a beating for their sins. I hated this streams, I still hate them today.

I was getting Ds snaps in tests and exams my entire form 1 and it got worse in form 2. More Eeee pupils were dumped into our classroom from other schools and others chucked out by the system from the A classroom. It was better in form 2 because we had an additional classroom form 2F, worse than US and it was nicknamed “THE ZOO”. By the way, I literally failed my form 2. The number of subjects passed were down and I also got an Eeee in English. Luckily there were a lot of form1s pumping to replace me and I was pushed to form 3 on a wheel barrow. Failed and promoted. While everyone thought I was smart and quiet, I was actually an Eeee pupil. At least I was amongst the best in my classroom ;>.

School didn’t fascinate me back then. During prominent events like the Speech and Prize giving day I would always stay home. That was for the A pupils, so I thought. And yes I was right. I always thought everything good was given to the A pupils, even good teachers :>. The A pupils were really doing great (they had all the good teachers too) but instead of being inspired I was pissed. Why? When you are not the favourite kid at home you always given dirty Jobs, you eat shit, you are taught shit and at the end of the day all you know is shit. That was harsh right? But that’s how it felt to be kicked out of the classroom during learning ours to clean some dirty abandoned teacher’s warehouse because your colleagues were making noise, while the other classes carried on with learning. If there was something bad that happened in school, we had all fingers pointing to our class. I felt like Junk.

So how did I change? Mixed classes. Now these were the only classes I considered fair. My commercial classes were a real escape. Here I met other pupils from the other classes and a few of them from the A class. We all met to learn accounting and business studies from one teacher and in the same environment. This was the very first place I discovered and started believing in the power of association. The A pupils were by far performing better that the rest of us and soon enough I began to master how they were excelling. I can say the process took longer because we had a few of mixed classes and we spent a lot of time with our Eeee colleagues. Trust me it was hard for me to understand cute little sayings like “Hard work pays” at that age, but I got the chance to see it work. I applied it and the results were amazing. I began to understand that hard work always beats talent when talent thinks he is too good to work hard. First business studies topic test in form 3 (E) I got 96% and two guys from The A class scored 98% and for the first time I was the 3rd highest in my business studies class. That wasn’t much but I was thrilled by HOW I got that 96%.

It was 2012 and we went through the Waya Waya Teachers Strike and also added our own shortly after that as pupils of Dvokolwako High enraged by a delay of examination timetables. I wrote my JC examinations and again I passed with a ‘not so bad’ second class. Just like most people. I wasn’t really happy about the second class thing, but there was something different about this second class! I had a cute symbol A from business studies. I wasn’t fascinated by the A for the sake of being a cute symbol but by the fact that I knew exactly what I did to get that A from business studies which I didn’t do to the other subjects. As a wise man once said, succeed ones and everything that follows next will be a copy and paste. From that day I wanted to replicate the strategies I used to excel in business studies to the other subjects.

To my surprise, when I registered for form 4 I found my name on form 4A’s class list. Yes, there I was in a midst of wolfs. At first I was like “Oh my gosh I am going to be chowed fr good and forever” and then it came to my mind that I wasn’t thrown here, instead I earned myself a space here. See for the first time in my life I take responsibility for my academic performance. Why? Because I made it! Confucius was right when he said we are all self-made but only the successful will admit it. I spent my entire secondary in a gutter and I never admitted that I put myself there, now this!! Yes I was proud of myself but there was also this score-sheet thing that freaked the hell out of me. I was scared that my name will pop up in the worst section of this sheet. You don’t want that to happen to you, especially if your girlfriend is getting straight As in another class. So I hard to work my ass off. I knew how to get outstanding results from my JCs business studies so why not die trying to get them?

Trust me in this one, I wasn’t, at all, thinking about being the best in class instead I just wanted I just wanted to clear my name out of the worst section of that sheet of paper. From my very first class in form 4 I started listening attentively to teachers and I stopped drawing cartoons in class. I started pre-reading topics before every class and stopped socialising until the teacher comes in. I started using free time during short break and lunch to do some assignments to offload. I started completing my home works at home instead of waiting to copy from my classmates in the following morning. I started reading on the bus on my way home and to school. I started consulting from those who were ahead of me and believed that for every problem there is a solution. I also started testing myself before I write a test from my teachers, a golden strategy. School suddenly became fascinating again.

First test in form 4 (A), Physical Science test 1, Mr Simelane brought back out test scripts and started distributing them to us. I also got mine and I opened it. My eyes couldn’t believe what they saw. On a serious note, I first thought it was a 41% cause it was hand written, but really it was a 91% decorated with a shining gold star. I was evidently shaking. Mr Simelane immediately announced that the highest was 91% without mentioning a name. WOOOOW!! All the hairs on my arm and legs stood tall with prickling sensation. For the first time in my whole academic life I was on top of my class. And this was not just a class it was the ‘A’ class. This was me being the highest over the whole form 4.

I was thrown into wolfs and I came back leading the pack! Throughout 2013, in form 4 I wasn’t always the best pupil but I was constantly testing that position. I was way beyond the worst section of my class’s score sheet. At this moment I was no longer driven by fear of the score sheet but the hunger to become the best. For the first time in school, I was interested in a Speech and Prize giving day and guess what? There was none that year! NONE! Completely Nothing. I should have felt bad, but I was perfectly fine. I had my final results in form 4 they were the coolest I had ever seen.

My first encounter with being ‘the best’ was when I was in form 5, still (A) :>. Remember I said it was mixed classes that turned my academic life around? There was something else, when I was a toddler, I stabbed myself in my left eye with a knife. I have always had eyes problems in school and I was getting visionary impaired gradually. Luckily one of my teachers noticed that I had trouble getting what was written on the chalk board and I was invited to seat on the first line. Believe me this simple shift of places was a real game changer. I became more focused, more organised and I started participating more frequently in class. A killer combination.

First monthly tests in Form 5 I got aggregate 92% and yes I was the man. From that day I never wanted to be second again. SGCSE results came out I was ranked among the top 30 pupils in the whole country and yeah that was something. There I was swinging with 4 A+s a B and two Cs. 3 of those A+s were from all the mixed classes I attended and one from the A class. And yeah it was mixed classes that threw me to varsity.

For your inspiration, throughout my entire academic life I have learned that; the only way to excel in any exam is to have confidence in the exam room, and the only way to have confidence in the exam room is to know everything that the examiner may possibly ask, by heart.