#mainly my mum but also friends in the past

[wisteria-blooms]

P A R A D I S E // P O T I O N S!

PAIRING: Bill Weasley & You  WARNINGS: smut!! so much smut!!, oral (giving, receiving), piv, sex pollen trope, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, creampies, all the makings of a bad porn plot **MINORS DNI** SUMMARY: As per Percy’s recommendation to his mother, you’re tasked to house-sit the Burrow while the family is away for the Quidditch World Cup. You’re Percy's closest friend and much like him, you are more than wary of his mischievous twin brothers, Fred and George. But what if their machinations lead you to something you’ve always dreamt of coming true? (8.0k words)

A/N: Been going through a bit of writer’s block recently, so hopefully a load of debauchery (as big as Bill's) breaks down that wall. I’ve been mad at how my sentences are coming out—they sound so redundant and boring. Also, I’m not great at editing my smut scenes because I get embarrassed reading them, so enjoy at your own risk. ;)

PARADISE POTIONS!

There was an undeniable feeling of late summer that nestled in the morning air, a pleasant marriage of warmth and wind. As you trekked up a tall, grassy hill, you breathed it all in. You were in disbelief that August had snuck up on you so suddenly. That meant only two weeks left of freedom before you were confined to a cubicle in the Ministry of Magic, wasting your life away.

‘It won’t be so bad’, you reminded yourself. After all, Percy Weasley would be there alongside you in the same department. He was your most supportive and reliable friend, contrary to popular opinion. And it’d been him that pitched the idea that you house sit the Burrow while he and his family were away at the Quidditch World Cup. Apparently, he’d told Molly that you were mature, responsible, and ‘very much like him.’ You had to tease him about the compliment he threw in about himself. 

Molly would provide you room and board for the next week. Your tasks mainly included upkeep of the garden, feeding the animals, and ensuring the home didn’t seem completely empty as the whole family vacationed. Molly simply hated to keep an empty house. 

“Good morning, Perce!” you greeted with a wave when you reached the tip of the hill.

He waved back from the main entrance. Then, he motioned for your luggage. 

“How was your journey?”

“Uneventful,” you affirmed. “Though the walk up was great exercise. I feel very much awake now.”

“It’s quite the trek,” he agreed.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the orientation at the Ministry we had last week,” you gushed. “I’m so excited to start work.”

“Me too,” Percy agreed with a nod. 

“Mum would like to have you in for a spot of breakfast,” Percy said.

“I’d be delighted.” You heard excellent things about Molly Weasley’s breakfasts. 

Percy held the door open for you. The windchimes sounded from above you, signaling your entrance. You brushed past a fluttery overhead curtain. When the material unveiled itself, you came face to face with a long dining table. There were only six occupants: Ginny, Ron, the infamous Harry Potter, Hermione, Charlie, and Bill. You gave a small wave to the younger kids. They nodded wordlessly. You reckoned that in their eyes, any friend of Percy’s must be some masochist deviant. 

To the side, Arthur was chatting with who you supposed was Amos Diggory, combing through their plans. 

“Good morning, (Y/N) dear,” Molly greeted. You were glad she thought of you just as prim and proper and organized as her third-eldest son. 

You took a seat with Percy. He sat where his newspaper and coffee mug laid, right in front of Charlie. With a nervous smile, you sat to his right and…

Your eyes immediately landed on Bill. He was Percy’s eldest brother, and by far the most handsome. You were embarrassed to admit that you’d always fancied him. Not in the soul-crushing-adult-love kind of way, but in a silly schoolgirl way. He was so tall, so subtly muscly from sports. And he was a little more fun than Percy, though you’d never tell him that. 

But given that you were so young, there was no viable chance of anything happening. So, you chose to admire him from afar in the two years you overlapped schooling. You were now eighteen like Percy, but you maintained the fact Bill still saw you as a child, nothing else. It was an infatuation that would hurt no one, so you just let it be. 

“Good morning, (Y/N).”

You suppressed a smile as he acknowledged you. 

“Good morning, Bill.”

“Good morning, (Y/N),” sang Charlie. 

You smiled. “Hi, Charlie.” Charlie was quite the handful. You preferred Bill’s calmness than Charlie’s calamity. 

“I see it’s you who was tasked with watching our house,” Bill said. “I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”

“Thank you, Bill.” That compliment was going into your pocket for a rainy day. 

Bill was still ever so handsome, appearances aging like fine wine, with his soft ginger locks that framed his sharp cheekbones. His blue eyes glinted in the morning sun. You peeked at his chiselled jaw and his—dare you say—kissable lips. His t-shirt barely hid the muscles in his arms. He might’ve been tall and predisposed to being lankier compared to Charlie, but you knew he had his own ways to keep fit. 

You were so busy being entranced by Bill that you’d lost track of time and space. All you knew was that it was the best morning ever, sitting in front of him, surrounded by faint windchimes and the chirping birds outside to the window. Breakfast hadn’t even been served and you were already salivating thinking about Bill doing push-ups under the hot Egyptian sun, and that wasn’t even that deep in the gutter where most of your thoughts laid, in fact—

Suddenly, a large explosion reverberated through the house and shook the table. It jolted you and Percy. You yelped and ducked. When you regained your sense of place, you looked up. No one else besides you and Percy were fazed. 

“What was that?” you asked Percy, trying to settle your heart. 

“Fred! George!” Molly cried, walking over to the stairs with her spatula still in hand. “What have I told you about your experiments?”

“Sorry, mum,” George said, running down the stairs, a smidge of ash on his face. “That’s it for today, I promise.”

“I don’t want to hear this again, ever!” Molly shrieked. Then, she calmed down when she realised she was in front of guests. “Well, if that’s it, then help out a little bit, won’t you? We have to get going in less than an hour.”

“Sure thing,” George said with a smile. He ran over to the table and to the coffee pot. He gave it a jiggle, letting the remaining liquid slosh around. “Anyone need a top up of their coffee?”

“Mum made that pot, you can trust it,” Percy advised.

“Thank you,” you whispered back, and then looked up at George, “I wouldn’t mind a cup.”

George sauntered over and poured you a cup. “Coffee, Bill?” he asked. 

“That sounds good,” Bill responded.

“You’ll have to wait another ten minutes then,” George said with a frown. He tapped the empty glass container. “I’ve just run out. If only (Y/N) didn’t drink for two.”

“Quit it,” Percy warned his brother with a low tone. 

“I’m sorry,” you said. You were about to offer Bill your cup when Percy held out a hand to stop you. 

“Keep it,” Percy countered as she shoved the white mug back to your side. “I wouldn’t trust anything they put out. I’m glad it’s you that took the last of what mum made.”

You kept your voice quiet and giggled. “I hope Bill has an iron stomach, then.”

Percy nodded. 

While Percy could be harsh on his siblings, you were grateful for his looking out for you. To be fair, you were also skittish around Fred and George. They weren’t as easy to read as other people. A friendly smile often meant something sinister. 

“Would anyone like some liqueur in your morning beverage?” Fred asked, skipping three steps as he ran down the stairs. He reached underneath his coat as if selling contraband. “I have whatever tickles your fancy. In fact, Georgie and I have been working on something we reckon will be extremely profitable.”

Molly shot him a glare. You shook your head politely. 

“Don’t feel like you have to respond to his foolishness,” advised Percy. “He doesn’t deserve your time of day.”

“Loosen up, (Y/N),” Fred commanded. “If you hang around Percy all day and refuse any fun, you’ll both die virgins.”

You went beet red immediately. It was a shade that rivalled Percy’s in speed and depth. You prayed that Bill wasn’t paying attention to you. 

“That is ENOUGH!” bellowed Molly who whipped around so quickly that she nearly decapitated George with her wooden spoon. She’d reached her boiling point. “I won’t have you ruining our morning with your distasteful conversations, especially with all our guests presents.” She charged over to Fred and handed him a stack of plates. “Go on, make yourself useful and set the table.”

“(Y/N), darling,” Molly said, her sudden change in tone a little frightening. “I’ve cleared out Bill’s old room for you. Since he’s heading back to Egypt right after the World Cup, he’ll share Charlie’s room for the time for the last night. There are fresh sheets and towels and a change of clothes if you need. You are welcome to use the bath right next to the room.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.” Fred’s comment about your virginity went through one of Molly’s ears and out the other. Thank Merlin. 

“Coffee’s ready, dear brother,” George sang. “How do you take it?”

“Just black,” Bill responded. “Thank you, George.”

You peered at Bill through a sip of coffee. Your heart fluttered again. Summers were really the best. It was the only chance to see him again for a flicker of time, an hour or two, before he travelled halfway across the world again. In this case, in a week. As the meal went on, you stared at him so intently during breakfast that your fork speared your cheek instead of your mouth multiple times.

When breakfast concluded, you assured Molly that you’d take care of the dishes and ushered her to the door.

“I hope you have a nice time,” you said to Ron and his friends. He mumbled a thanks. You smiled at him, happy that you were making some progress with Percy’s younger brother. Your peace was ruined by Fred and George murmuring amongst themselves excitedly. You hoped it was about the World Cup and nothing else. 

Arthur was doing a routine headcount when he asked: “Where’s Bill?”

“He said he had some emergency work to finish up for the bank,” Charlie said. “Keep the portkey open for him for another hour, and he’ll be sure to make it by then.”

“If you need anything,” Percy said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You know where to find me.”

You nodded.

After the Weasleys left, you locked the door and headed back into the house. Knowing Bill was upstairs working, you got to tidying the kitchen in the quietest manner you could. You hoped the running water and the occasional clinking of dishes wasn’t bothering him. It would be really embarrassing if he came down to complain about the noise. 

After the kitchen was cleaned, you went outside to trim the shrubs, water the plants, and feed the cows. You forced yourself not to peek at the front door to see if Bill had left. He probably had, and it hurt a bit that he’d gone without saying goodbye. 

The temperature had risen dramatically since you arrived in the morning, and by the time you were done, you were a sweaty mess. Bill had likely gone which meant you’d have the house to yourself. You caved into the idea of a long bath to wipe the mud and grime off your body. You dashed up to the main washroom Molly offered you and began running the water. 

When you were finished with your bath, you wrapped a clean towel around you and proceeded to your room. Maybe you could do some reading and take a nap before deciding on dinner, Your chest tingled when you realised it was Bill’s old room—how lucky were you?  The first thing you noticed when you entered was that Bill’s room was clean and sparse. Molly had left a window cracked open to allow for a gentle breeze, and placed your clothes on the bed. You took a couple steps forward and let your towel drop on the floor to reach for your tank top when suddenly…

Your hand met a tuft of hair. Hair that was attached to a pale, sweaty head. 

You screamed as you tumbled back, your bare bum hitting the wooden floor. Oh, where the heck was your wand when you needed it? You grabbed a pair of slippers in self-defence. 

“Who’s there?” you said in the bravest voice you could muster. “You need to get out of here, now!”

The thing in the bed just groaned weakly. You saw a pale, shaking arm stick out of the covers. Whatever it was, it was at least human, hopefully. 

Your hand grappled the top of the desk for your wand. Once you found it, you rose cautiously from the floor with the intent to peel away the covers. You’d dealt with Boggarts; you’d seen your worst nightmares in person. You treaded cautiously because the creature could rise at any moment. But it didn’t, forcing you to get closer. 

Your heart almost stopped when your hands grasped the hem of the covers. Your life flashed before your eyes. You needed to survive. You needed to live to work with Percy at the Ministry come September. You needed to live for your family. You needed to live for the off chance Bill Weasley shared the same feelings as you—oh, you were about to die, what was the point of thinking about Bill?

With your wand in an offensive position, you ripped the sheets off. 

But there was nothing.

Nothing at all.

What?

It took you a few seconds to process it, but this… thing wasn’t a creature at all. In fact, it was Bill Weasley. Well, an apparition of him of sorts. He looked extremely pale and sickly, his skin the shade of paper. His ginger hair stuck to his face, his sweat binding it like it was wet glue. There was an intense warmth radiating from his skin, and his body jostled slightly as the cold air hit him.

“Bill? You called out in complete disbelief. “Are—are you okay?”

He groaned in response. Slowly, he turned his head towards you. He looked even worse up close, or as worse as Bill Weasley could possibly look. His eyebrows were intensely furrowed, his breathing laboured, and he could barely open those pretty eyes of his—oh, not this again! Bill looked to be on death’s bed and all you were thinking about was how handsome he was. 

“I don’t know what happened,” Bill breathed out. His voice was a mere rasp. “I was feeling fine this morning. I can hardly get up now. And I can’t talk,” he coughed as if to prove a point, “above a whisper.”

“Are you running a fever?” you inquired, concern thick in your voice. 

“No, I don’t think—,” Bill mustered the strength to open his eyes. He looked startled. “(Y/N)?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Where…”

You looked at Bill intently.

“Where are your clothes?”

“Huh?”

You looked down. Your mouth went slack. You were barer than the day you were born. 

“Shit!” you exclaimed. “I’m sorry, don’t look, don’t look, sorry, sorry!” So caught up in the heat of things, you’d haphazardly abandoned your towel in exchange for your life. You scampered back to retrieve it and tied it back on yourself. When you looked up, Bill was, fortunately, turned away, and only a sliver of his naked back was visible to you. 

“Is there anything I can help with?” you asked in a state of panic. ‘Besides giving you a show?’ On the inside, you had to laugh at the thought of a striptease benefiting Bill’s health.

Bill was looking worse for wear with every passing second, and you were just prancing around without clothes. “Your mother keeps potions in the cabinet, doesn’t she? I’ll go find an antipyretic--”

Bill swiped at his forehead with his palm. “I don’t think it’s a fever, well, to the best of my knowledge.”

“Then perhaps some water?” you offered. “Or some soup?”

“(Y/N),” Bill called. Your name rolled off like velvet from his lips. “Come here, please.”

Your eyes widened. Your heart was beating erratically and whether it was out of fear or anticipation, you didn’t know. Still, you complied and began walking over. The floor felt like pricks underneath your feet. 

“Could you please take these sheets off?” Bill asked. “I might try to cool down.”

You nodded. “S-sure.” You pinched the hem of the bedsheet with your forefinger and thumb and carefully stripped the sheet off. Every second that passed unveiled a new, delicious sight: Bill’s toned chest, the crevice between his chest and abdominal muscles, the veins running down his forearms, and the shapely twin creases that led straight down to his briefs. A chill of disappointment ran through your body when you realised he was still clothed. 

‘Stay focussed’, you pleaded with yourself. You were here to help Bill, not to take advantage of him.

“Is that better?” you asked Bill, but your eyes weren’t on his face. They were instead fixated on the centre of his body and namely, the very present bulge at the apex of his black briefs. His manhood had tented so viciously that it stretched the black fabric until it was translucent. Was that a spot of pink flesh or were you just seeing things? You gulped and tried to reign in your imagination. 

Bill breathed out as the cool air kissed his skin. “Marginally.”

“I can bring the fan inside the room,” you suggested so quickly you almost toppled off the bed. 

“Wait.” Bill’s hand grabbed your wrist before you could get anywhere. Your skin scorched. “Can you help me with one more thing?”

You were about to explode. “Sure, Bill.” 

“Could you help me remove my briefs too?”

Your jaw had, at this point, permanently detached from your face. “What?”

“Just one last thing and my temperature should regulate itself.”

Was stripping really a remedy to Bill’s ailment? Shaking your head, you decided to help him in any way possible before running back to the bathroom to splash cold water on your face to ascertain that you weren’t dreaming. This definitely had to be a dream. Today probably hadn’t even started yet. Any minute now, your alarm would ring and you would wake up so disappointed. 

“Alright.”

Slowly, you hooked your fingers underneath the elastic waistband of Bill’s briefs. His blue eyes fluttered close and his face twisted in relief. You suppressed a groan at the sight of Bill like this, pleasured by your every touch.

You’d never admit that Fred was right in his observation this morning, but it was true that you’d never seen a… penis in the flesh. But there was no turning away now as your hands worked to expose every inch of pink flesh hiding underneath Bill’s undergarments. It was deliciously lewd, the way his long cock sprang out from the confines of his boxers and nearly slapping you in the face. A tad closer, and the appendage would’ve swiped your cheek. Just inches in front you pulsed a swelling, oozing pink tip that was connected to a thick shaft that only seemed to grow slightly in girth as you stripped him. 

You had nothing but anatomical pictures and the circumference of your wrist to compare him to, but even you knew he was bigger than average. Bill had, truly, the prettiest cock to ever exist. Pale, smooth, pink, but an angrier shade coloured the head. He was thick, but even thicker near the base. Veins painted his manhood like art. You almost had to wonder how he’d feel inside you, splitting your virgin pussy open. It would kill you.

Holy shit. You had to stop thinking, because you were getting yourself wet. 

Bill raised his hips up to help you bring the last bit of his briefs down from underneath him. Your hand grazed the back of his thigh. The unintended action elicited a not-so-subtle moan from Bill. 

“I’m sorry, I—,” Bill said, pushing himself up on the bed. His neck was flushed crimson and his breathing heavy. You had plummeted into the ocean with the saltwater flooding your ears; you could barely hear. You gulped as a bead of wetness suddenly spurted out of the tip of his cock and threatened to run down the length of it. “I reckon I was cursed or hexed by someone,” he surmised. “It’s not like me to require such things of you, or anyone for that matter.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered. Your hand was turning white with the deathgrip on your towel. “But Bill, did that… help?”

The smartest thing to do was to remove yourself from this conversation and call for help, but you kept pressing the topic. You planted your palms on the mattress and looked on in awe. Bill was well-endowed beyond your wildest dreams. You couldn’t stop admiring him.

Forgetting he was naked, Bill sat up. His cock curled closer to his navel as a result. “What?”

You ripped your eyes away from the bead of precum that’d captivated your attention. “When we touched. It seemed to bring some colour to your face.”

“Come to think of it, I reckon it did, yeah,” Bill responded. He furrowed his brows, his words dying on his lips. There was only one direction this conversation was going to go and you had steered it off the overpass and down the cliff. 

You spoke up first. “Have you tried touching…”

“Myself?” Bill finished with a chuckle.

You blushed. “Yes, well,” you countered. “It’s not entirely unreasonable, and—”

“I have.”

You tilted your head. “And?”

Bill attempted to lift his hands, but they gravitated down to the bed. “Well, I’ve… tried,” he admitted sheepishly, “but it’s made it worse.” He chuckled and shook his head at the state he was in. “And now I can’t even manage to move my arm.”

“Oh.” You frowned. “But when I touched you, you felt better?”

Bill blew out some air which tickled the wet hair on his forehead. He gestured to his raging erection. “Can you… would you mind? You’re right, it might help.”

Would you mind?

Of course you wouldn’t. 

“I’ve never, erm,” you countered. A blaze of heat rushed to your cheeks. You didn’t want to admit to Bill that Fred was right when he clocked you as a virgin, though it didn’t take a deep understanding of your person to come to that conclusion. You and Percy both looked down on dalliances as prefects back in school, even busting students in the act and sending them to be reprimanded. You reckoned Bill was going to find it uncool but it was better to be truthful. “I’ve never done this with anyone.”

He chuckled. “I figured.”

You wanted to shrivel up and die. 

“But it’s absolutely fine,” Bill correctly quickly, knowing he’d offended you slightly. “You don’t need to have done it to know how to do it. I’ll guide you.”

You nodded. “Okay.”

He did his best to motion to the base of him with his hands. “Grip me firmly down here.” 

You obliged, holding him at the base with your right hand as you clutched your towel in the other. For an usually flaccid body part, Bill was very, very hard and warm. All the blood in his body was concentrated into one area, so it made sense. You were grateful when your thumb still managed to touch the tips of your fingers because, well, he was quite big and you weren’t confident he was going to fit in your hand. 

“Move up and down,” Bill instructed in between heavy pants. You nodded. When you started shifting your hand from the base to the head and back, he let out a low groan. His skin felt like velvet in your hands; he felt so good. “Yeah, just like that.” Precum dribbled from Bill and onto from the side of your fingers as you moved faster and covered more ground. Bill’s eyes alternated from open to close in erratic intervals as you began to adjust your speed and the tightness of your fingers around him. When Bill stopped talking, you reckoned you were doing a pretty damn good job. 

Bill was powerless underneath you and you relinquished the feeling. But you wanted more. 

So, you shifted from the edge of the bed towards the end of it, squeezing yourself in between his long legs. You never took your hands off him in the process so Bill was none the wiser about your mischievous movements. So, it was only when Bill heard the creaking of the bed that he looked up in surprise. By then, it was too late. You had already stopped pumping his shaft and leaned in to inhale the sweet musk instead.

“Can I?” you asked, batting your eyelashes.

Bill inhaled sharply, his cock duking out his brain for once the last shred of modesty. Oh, fuck modesty. “Only if you want to.”

In one swift motion, you leaned in and kissed the red and leaking tip. Clearly, it was you who really wanted to do this. When the soft skin of your lips met the soft skin of his head, Bill let out an audible gasp that was immediately swallowed by a throaty moan. He was not expecting you to be so brazen, so generous in your help. Little did he know you’d do anything for him at this point, his own affliction long forgotten. 

“How does that feel?” you asked.

“Amazing,” he rasped.

You licked the precum—salty, a little tingly, you noted—off his slit with the tip of your tongue. He tasted so good. Bill threw his head back. The ridges of his abs crinkled as he tried to hold himself upright with his elbows on the bed. He wanted to see you. You smacked your lips, unable to wait patiently to devour your meal. Then, in a moment of pure deviousness and sheer horniness, you enveloped Bill’s tip around your mouth.

“Shit!” 

This was the last thing Bill said before he fell back onto the bed. You took that as a sign of surrender; what you were doing felt too good for him to keep his defences up. He’d long stopped giving you instructions and let you take reign. Emboldened, you licked the slit with your tongue with Bill still nestled in your mouth. You then began to take him in further, as far as you could before he reached a natural stopping point at the back of your throat. Your mouth tensed—he was too big to fit comfortably inside. You sucked in your cheeks, hypothesising that a tighter fit would feel better for Bill. Sure, you were inexperienced, but you weren’t stupid or ignorant on the subject of what was pleasurable. 

“Yes, that’s it, (Y/N), just like that.”

You forewent your towel in favour of holding onto Bill’s thighs, placing one hand on the side of each of his legs. Still, you pressed your breasts down on the bed to hide your nipples to preserve what little was left for Bill to still see. Then again, what was the point of dignity when his dick was in your mouth?

Bill’s hands quietly crept along the bedsheets and floated towards your head. From there, his long fingers wove and nestled themselves in your hair so deeply that it wouldn’t be easy for you to untangle yourself. Clever of him. His fingernails glided across your scalp, slowly, tenderly, like a predator circling their prey before the attack. Bill then started guiding your head up and down slowly, his patience clearly wearing thin and needing to take matters into his own hands--literally. 

“Feeling okay?” he asked.

You nodded, unable to speak. Bill noted this and chuckled. You gave him a pointed look. 

“Hard to look intimidating with my cock in your mouth, love,” he said, tightening his fingers around your hair. You grumbled something unintelligible. The wetness leaking out of your core spoke volumes for you. 

Bill’s hands were fully entangled in your hair as he continued to lift you up and down. Slow at first, but he could hardly contain himself after the first minute. The way his big cock pulsed in your mouth, gods… The faster he commanded you to move, the more his visage grew streaked from the tears in your eyes. You tightened your grip on his thighs every time his cock glided across your palate and pushed itself down your throat. You did everything in your power to not gag or choke, but when he did strike particularly deep, you pulled off of him immediately. 

“I’m sorry,” Bill quickly said. “Was that too much?”

You shook your head, wiped a wet line of tears from your face, coughed, and responded, “No, I’m fine.”

You crawled back to him and engulfed him without another word.

“Ah,” Bill breathed out. “Fuck, (Y/N). You feel so good.”

You shouldn’t be enjoying being used so much, but you loved it. Loved it especially when Bill held you in place and began thrusting into your mouth instead as a means to conserve effort and increase his speed. You were growing wetter and wetter with every compliment he spoke. You imagined Bill’s big hands gripping your hips, stilling you, as he thrust repeatedly into your pussy. You wanted to be used everywhere. 

“Shit,” he growled, lazy eyes hovering on you. Deliciously lazy and so hazy. “I’m close.”

He stopped thrusting, but you hadn’t stopped bobbing your head up and down. You were so far gone in your quest to make Bill come that you’d thrown your own needs aside. 

“Hold on, (Y/N),” Bill commanded. “Don’t you want to—ah—!”

You knew he’d reached his climax when his hips ascended and stilled above the bed. A deep moan left his mouth. Bill’s cock twitched heavily with every rope of cum that shot its way into your mouth. He didn’t quit until every crevice of your mouth was sloshing with his seed; he was a never-ending faucet of cum. 

After a minute, you finally detached yourself from him, careful to keep the fruits of your labour in your mouth and not on the bed sheets that Bill’s mother had laundered so well. You swallowed all the cum in your mouth. It wasn’t as pleasant as the books and films had made it out to be—it was warm and slightly bitter, but it was Bill’s and heaven knew you’d do anything for him.

Bill threw himself back on the bed, his head meeting the pillow with a soft thud. He was still breathing heavily as he reposed. Though his hair stuck wildly to his cheeks—which were slowly regaining colour—his face expressed newfound calm. 

Bill patted the pillow beside him, on the spot in between the wall and his body. “Come here,” he rasped, his eyes still closed. 

You obliged and scooted upwards. Bill splayed his arm on the pillow to give you a makeshift headrest. You settled into the nook of his bicep. Through the corner of your eye, you stole little glances at Bill and the rise and fall of his chest. A warm, midday breeze fluttered through the open windows, the red curtains billowing out. Everything was so serene, so tranquil, so…Holy shit, what had you just done? 

Just three hours ago, you were wistfully staring at Bill at breakfast, grateful to have seen him at all this year to feed your starving crush on him. Now, you were laying naked in his bed with him after giving him what you hoped was an acceptable blowjob. It was both great and terrible that you wouldn’t see him after today. How would you explain this to anyone if you couldn’t even believe it yourself? You needed to bolt and never see Bill again. 

Bill snapped you out of your trance. “(Y/N)?” 

“Yes, Bill?”

You turned around to find yourself reflected in his crystal blue eyes. 

“Would you like to finish, too?”

“Oh, uhm!” Well, you hadn’t expected him to ask you that. “No, I’m okay.” An utter lie. Your pussy was pleading to be fucked. You sat up, preparing yourself to go. “I should finish up with my chores. You should get going before the portkey closes.” 

Bill grasped your wrist again. “I don’t want to go.” He sat up with you and looked you straight in the eye. 

He was serious. The intensity of his gaze was so overwhelming that you looked down. You sucked a quiet breath in. 

“I want to make you feel good,” he said, placing a hand on your cheek. “Let me, please.”

You choked. Was Bill Weasley begging to go down on you? The resolute look on his face definitely extinguished any fight you had left in you. A fraction of a second after you nodded, Bill turned you over and kissed you. One hand remained on your cheek while the other wrapped itself around your naked waist to pull you closer until your chest was flush against his. If you weren’t focussed on how hard his lips were pressed on yours, you would’ve been more embarrassed about how your pert nipples were pressed against his chest. Bill obviously didn’t mind, in fact, he was trying to pull you in as close as possible, closing the last sliver of space between your bodies. 

Bill tilted his head to deepen the kiss. His lips felt like hard silk—a walking contradiction— against you and now you wished to feel them everywhere: on your neck, on your breasts, on your stomach and in between your legs. You reckoned he should kiss heavily in between your legs. 

Bill was all lean muscle and long limbs. He couldn’t splay out on the bed as easily as you could. He landed on his knees, then shifted you upwards until your head was resting against the baseboard of the bed. He spread your legs with his hands—so big that they absolutely swallowed you—using his thumb as anchors. 

He looked back up at you. His eyes had darkened significantly, like a sudden storm that had broken through a clear day. Whatever drug was flowing through his veins, it was only growing more potent. “You’re so wet.” 

You made an attempt to shut your legs. You were cycling through moments of confidence and embarrassment, and his words made you want to curl up and die.

“Don’t,” Bill said. “You turn me on so much. Who knew that behind such an innocent facade was a girl begging to be fucked?”

And just like that, your legs fell open in one buttery smooth motion. 

”That’s it, such a good girl for me,” Bill praised. He leaned in and ran his tongue flat over your folds. You squirmed but his iron-clad hold on you prohibited any movement. You tried so very hard to quiet yourself as his tongue painted you in oscillating strokes. You gasped whenever he landed briefly on your clitoris. He hummed, pleased, and let the vibrations rock your body. Your breathing was dangerously unsteady as Bill pulled you closer to him and increased the intensity of his tongue. He unlatched one hand from your thigh and shifted them near your drooling entrance. Gently, he inserted a finger. Before you could jump upwards at the intrusion, he brought his tongue back to your clit to massage away any pain. “So sweet,” he hummed again. Bill kept his finger steady inside you until your squirming stopped. 

“You’re so tight,” Bill whispered. He added another finger to your already taut hole. “I can barely fit two fingers in here. How do you suppose you’ll take my cock, hm?” 

A rhetorical question. Instead of waiting for an answer, Bill began moving his fingers back and forth. You let out a small whine that you buried into the pillow. “Sh, it’s okay, just relax, darling,” Bill assured. In a matter of moments, Bill had gone from shallow little thrusts to burying his fingers to the hilt. The motion of his fingers curling inside you elicited a load moan from your lips, and your legs parted further in response. It was over when his stupid tongue found its way back to your clit; you nearly screamed. He flicked your sensitive bud over and over, building the pressure in the region. Between that, and Bill’s face buried between your legs and the wet sounds of his fingers inside you, you were just one thrust away from coming undone.

“Bill, Bill—” you tried to stop him, too scared to be thrown over the edge. But Bill showed no sign of stopping. When he sucked on your clit, you knew it was over. He had pushed you off the cliff. “Bill!” 

You clamped down on his hand, but Bill hadn’t stopped moving; he was intending to fuck you through it. Waves of pleasure, sweetly punctuated by Bill’s nimble fingers, washed over you until you had no coherent thought left. You laid there for a minute, until your heart rate had finally settled back to normal. 

“I’m getting impatient,” Bill chuckled. “Seeing you writhe around like that, coming on all over my hand, Merlin..”

You tightened your lips. “Me too.”

“What was that?” he teased, pretending not to hear. 

“I’m getting impatient.”

“For what?”

“You know what for.”

He shot you a cocky grin. “I won’t know until you tell me.”

“Fuck me, Bill,” you almost screamed. “Fuck me, please.” It was killing you. You looked down at Bill’s manhood. He looked even harder and fuller than how you found him, if that were even possible. His cock twitched to stand at full attention when you shuffled back to him. You wanted to feel him, so warm and engorged, inside you, splitting you open with how big he was. 

“You’re so needy, (Y/N),” Bill teased. He laid down. “Get on top of me, I want to see you.” 

You clambered over immediately. You splayed a leg on each side of him and propped yourself up with your knees. Wordlessly, Bill pulled you in and your body listened. He met your lips for another kiss that showed no signs of being broken. Well, not until he decided to latch onto one of your nipples instead. His lips covered the circumference of your areola and sucked gently. 

“Bill,” you whimpered, succumbing once again to his dexterous tongue. He swirled around your sensitive bud, flicking it back and forth, and sending little electric shocks down to your toes. You were getting so, so wet for him.

One of Bill’s hands trailed down to his cock and gave it a couple of strokes before he aimed it towards your core. You moaned every time he pressed against your throbbing clit before moving back to your opening and repeating the motion. You needed to come again, and Bill was intent on bringing you there. He rubbed the head back and forth, concentrating the slick to where he eventually wanted to be. He was showing great restraint; it was taking everything not to just thrust into you. 

“You already feel so good,” he praised. “So wet, so tight, love, all for me. I can’t wait to fuck this tight pussy.”

Bill piled on the words and continued to ravish your breasts as a distraction of what was to come. The head of his cock was directly aligned with your opening that was weeping at the thought of him inside you. But the largest thing you’d taken ever were Bill’s fingers; he couldn’t possibly fit without absolutely destroying you. The universe couldn’t have gifted you with a warm-up, could it? Instead, it gifted you the girth of Bill. Still, you remained in place, readying yourself as he began to enter you. 

You gasped at the first intrusion. You clenched Bill’s forearms in retaliation, your mouth parting in shock. You wanted him badly, but your anatomy wasn’t letting your desires take the front seat. 

Bill placed a hand on your back. Stiff. “You’re tense,” he noted, kissing up on your neck. “Just relax. It’ll feel good, I promise.” You nodded, trusting him. 

“Hngh—!” was all you let out when he pushed deeper. Your breathing fell out of sync as you tried to calm yourself. Maybe this was it, and all of him was already inside of it. 

“That’s just my head inside you, love,” Bill stated, as if reading your mind.  

You paled. “How are you so big?”

Bill chuckled in agreement before swallowing you in a kiss. His tongue found its way into your mouth, and you could taste the pure need radiating off him. He gave little shallow thrusts, trying to ease himself into you. Though it still burned heavily, a ring of pain, as he stretched you out, Bill’s pace was making it much more tolerable and frankly, more erotic. 

When he was halfway in, Bill’s eyes fell shut in utter bliss. His hands gripped your ass cheeks, pulling them apart, as if it would help you sink further down on him. 

“You take me so well,” he said as he continued impaling your poor little pussy. He never stopped littering you with kisses, whether it was on your lips, cheeks, neck, or breasts. He suckled your tits again when he rammed the thickest part of him inside you in one thrust. 

You stifled a cry into the crook of his neck and tightened your arms around him. “Bill!”

“Give it a minute, (Y/N),” he assured, but his voice sounded garbled, so far away. “I promise, it’s going to feel so good.”

When he felt you relax a little, Bill began to increase the length of his thrusts, breaking into your pussy a little more each time. You fell onto him, the pleasure beginning to overwrite the pain. 

Bill moaned as he sped up the slightest. “You’re so tight, (Y/N), tighter than I could’ve ever imagined.” His words only added fuel to the fire. “I can’t believe it’s me that gets to break into your pussy.”

“Then break me, Bill,” you pleaded. “Please. Harder.”

He chuckled. “You don’t have to ask twice.”

Bill looped his arms around you to hold you in place. From there, he began to drive himself into you faster, harder, just like a hole to be used for his pleasure, just like you had asked.

“Oh!” 

You could hardly keep your eyes open as he assaulted your body. He tested different depths and angles, watching your facial expressions for the perfect one. His long, deep strokes were landing on the perfect place - a place that had you seeing stars. So pleasurable but just millimetres away from being too much, too painful. There was so much of him inside you. Your legs stiffened, almost cramping, as the heat increased in pitches in your core. Your hands went wild, trying to find a place to stabilise your body. They found refuge on the top of the headboard. In one particularly hard thrust, he sheathed himself completely inside you, the widest part of him spearing you open. 

That was the precise moment you came undone, screaming. White obfuscated your vision as you lost control of your body. You convulsed on him, your pussy contracting around his cock like a vice. Bill continued to fuck you through your orgasm, bottoming out in you repeatedly,  letting you ride out the pleasure for as long as humanely possible. You fell onto him like a rag doll, limp, worn out from your second orgasm. Bill could only smile at a job well done. He withdrew himself from you and flipped you over. He nestled his manhood back between your legs. You watched with excitement as his cock, covered in your cream, sprang to his navel. You felt so hollow without him inside you, and you were about to beg for him again, but he moved quickly. He leaned towards you, placing the head of his cock to your opening once again. But instead of delving into you like you had hoped, he rubbed himself against you, occasionally pushing into you the slightest.  

Confused, you raised your hips up, trying to align yourself perfectly with his cock and push him back in. But your attempts were futile. 

“Don’t do that,” you chastised when you realised he was doing this on purpose. 

“Do what?” Bill asked innocently. 

“Tease me like this.”

He smirked. “Who said I was teasing you?” 

Just as you were about to retort, Bill drove himself into you when you were least expecting it, burying himself entirely into you. Your body shivered in pleasure, legs straightening and stiffening. You screamed when he quickened his pace, pounding into you with deep, full thrusts. His hands gripped your bouncing breasts, keeping them in place and occasionally pinching your nipples. Bill pushed himself to the hilt, then almost withdrew completely, before filling you up again as hard as he could. At certain points, he would hit a bundle of nerves that caused your toes to curl. At some point, you couldn’t tell the difference between pain and pleasure—it all felt so overwhelmingly good. 

The lewd sound of his balls hitting your skin was heaven to your ears. In this moment, you wanted nothing more than to be filled with his seed. 

“Come inside me,” you near screamed. 

Your little request was enough to break Bill out of his trance. “What?”

“Come inside me,” you repeated. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” 

With no reason to ask you to clarify again, Bill obliged. He gave a couple more thrusts, so powerful it forced your body to slide up over the bedsheets and your head to almost slam into the headboard. Then, he let out a loud, choked grunt, his eyes screwing shut. You could feel his cock twitch heavily inside you as he deposited his seed, filling your pussy. He hovered over you, exhausted, draining every last bit of him inside you. Both of you shared the same laboured respiration. You reached up and pushed back the ginger hair that was strewn across his forehead.

Bill began to soften inside you, but refused to pull out just yet. If you stayed here like this any longer, there was no doubt you’d meld together into one.

With a heavy almost regretful breath, Bill reluctantly removed himself out of you. You felt his cum trickling rapidly out of you and onto the bed sheets. You sat up to look. There was so much. it was smeared all over your sex, all over your inner thighs, and all over the sheets. There was no doubt there was more deep inside you. 

You looked up at Bill. Much to your disappointment, he looked to be back to his usual, happy self. Your services were no longer required. And much to your disappointment, he was looking around for his briefs. Well, it wasn’t like you could stay in paradise forever. 

“Thank you, (Y/N),” he said. 

“Of course,” you responded.

Bill gave you a small peck on the lips which made you smile. Then, it all went downhill from there, as he returned not more than a second later for another kiss. This time, deeper, thick with more lust. The next kiss, he had you pinned you on the bed by the arms. Unexpectedly, you felt him harden against you once more. His cock was back its previous stiffness and trying to find its way back to your cunt. 

He paused. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into me,” Bill admitted sheepishly.

“You mean you’re not usually like this?” you questioned with a smile. You didn’t mind it, not one bit. 

He contemplated it. “It has been a while, but it’s highly unlikely for me to go twice, let alone three times a day.”

“Really?” You cocked your head. “Is that not—”

Before you could speak, Bill plunged himself into you once more. Your mouth went slack. It was quite an effective way to shut you up. Most of his spend was still either deep inside you or running down your inner thighs, but he was intent on pumping you full of him even more. 

You had no complaints. Instead, you succumbed to the wet sloshes of his thrusts and messy kisses once again.

…..

In a tent one long Portkey away from the Burrow, a very different conversation was taking place.

“How do you reckon our Paradise Potions did?” 

“Considering that Bill hasn’t joined us, I’d say pretty well.”

END!

[prettyboypistol]

how much the mercs would want to hide you dating from the others and how they would act if the other mercs found out/teased them? or how would the others find out? (this is also my first time doing any kind of request sorry if it makes no sense, love your writing!!)

TF2 Mercs x M!Reader|| Keeping "Us" a Secret! +18

As per usual, i'm writing in time-canon

Scout

Absolutely tried his best to keep it a secret and will try his damn hardest to make sure nothing happens to either of y'all if you guys are found out to be a little more than homies.

Everyone's probably figured it out, y'all are shit at subtle flirting.

Vicerally rejects any PDA or affection and gets mad when you try to initiate it where any of the merc will potentially see and will respond with something like "fuck outta here with that!"

Overall he's super paranoid about people finding out he also likes guys and specifically his "best friend". If the team sit him down and are like "son, we are actual war criminals. being gay is NOT the biggest issue here." then he gets a little more lax about PDA, but not by much. It still makes him uncomfortable.

Soldier

He's a bit too dense to keep a secret for too long, probably forgetting that he was the one that wanted to keep yours and his relationship on the down low.

Is one of those confrontationsl types and wouldn't hesitate to beat someone up over teasing him or harassing both of you. Not that the team would go past playful ribbing, but any attack, no matter how small, is treated like a nuclear bomb threat.

Not too bothered or too enthusiastic about PDA, doesn't like overly cutesy acts of romance when people are looking but you two have absolutely been caught fooling around in secluded places around the base. The one who found you told everyone and you never heard the end of it.

You mostly are the one who get the teasings, such as "So, you really do like brains over brawn." or "the sex must be great if you put up with that idiot."

Pyro

Noody really could tell that you two were dating, let alone interested in each other. With how eccentric both you and Pyro were, everyone just assumed that both of you were both extremely touchy-feely, very hippie and free spirit, which Soldier degrades you two for.

Pyro likes PDA like handholding, cuddling, and little bumps while walking. Nothing like kissing or getting sexual in public though, they aren't comfortable with you doing that around people they don't trust in the same way they trust you.

They probably tell Engie first and go into detail about how you make them feel. You treat them like an equal and like an adult, as if they're not just their mental illnesses. Engie supports both of you fully and acts like the supportive dad neighter of you had growing up.

Demoman

Not too concerned as well, but that's mainly because he's drunk when dealing with his teammates. He likes kissing you or smacking your ass and then shrugging and saying it's a Scottish tradition.

Loves grossing out the team with PDA. Nasty flirting, dirty whispers, bedroom eyes, and whenever people try to confront his and your behavior, he laughs and just walks outta the room like "awww, cleaRLY you men haven't drunkenly shagged a man! Be feelin' better than a virgin!" With no elaboration on if you two are actually fucking or if it's a bit.

When the mercs ask you, you give deadpan humor of "no, it's a joke. My mum's gotta good bit of Scot in her."

When it finally clicked for them was when Spy walked in on you two getting handsy on the couch while you were on top of him and hiked up his kilt. You looked at Spy and just said "You've done worse." Spy hesitated, but nodded and walked away.

Engie

HIDES IT SO SO MUCH. THIS MAN HAS SO MUCH SOUTHERN/CATHOLIC GUILT. HE'S EVEN HESITANT IN PRIVATE. He really doesn't like you getting too close to him when the others are around, but will allow drunken leaning against him.

It took both of you literal months to kiss, let alone have sex. He is the most tender and gentle lover known to man, and it's all for you. He protects you a lot more in battle with the excise of "he's defending the intel, I might as well buff him up with a few sentries."

You two hiding your relationship gives him high blood pressure and Medic just knows immediately that Engie is hiding his sexuality- to Medic at least, he's not subtle. With a quick peck to Heavy as a thank you for handing him the scalpel Medic is like "So Engie, do you have anything you're not being honest about?" and he just breaks.

"I'm a homosexual!" "Ja! So am I!"

Heavy

Is really wishy-washy about being open, since nobody would ever mess with him about being gay, but they might mess with you and your job. You're not a merc, just a low-level cleanup crew member! If the Administrator found out... would she kill you? Move you away? Would she even care?

Stealing away little kisses is his favorite thing. When you sneak into his room and you two just snuggle and kiss. He's super hesitant about sex in the beginning, but absolutely loves how you assure him and praise him.

Intinidates your coworkers who make fun of you since you have a good relationship with the mercs and all your coworkers think they're psychos.

Sniper is the one who catches you two- in battle no less! RED is thoroughly beating BLU's ass so Heavy sneaks away to the fence to see you and give you a few... many... uh, a lot of kisses. You hear the bullet break the window near you two before you see it, and Heavy takes it as his cue to leave.

Sniper

Since he doesn't really interact much with the group, he doesn't see a reason to tell the other mercs. All you do is go to his van after battle for "a cigarette and target practice". Sure buddy, you just accidentally tripped and ended up on your knees below a freshly showered Sniper. You two spend most nights together, since you two are the two unsociable mercs.

You two do everything together, since you're the more sociable of the both of you, people refer to Sniper as "your shadow", it's a bit of a teasing nickname that you're fine with, and Sniper's alright with it, since they acknowledge him nearby you at all times.

Doesn't overprotect you in battle, did it once and you marched right up to his nest and told him off. Yeah, he cares about you and you love him for it, but you'll respawn! It's fine!

The enemy Spy saw you tell him off and the subsequent kiss goodbye. He was gonna kill the Sniper, but something just left him feeling weird, so he waited until you were gone to kill him.

Spy

He's pretty open about swinging both ways, his tales of espionage have no limits. You're a high-positioned supervisor, so he initially justified yours and his relationship as job assurance... then easy closeness to relieve the lonliness... then- uh, fuck. He's caught feelings when in an actual relationship he can't run from.

Only likes PDA when he's initiating, very cat-like about it. He is to fluster you with a simple look. He is to give you what you can't reach and accidentally invade your personal space, where your breaths mingle and leave you red faced. Only he is to drive you crazy in public... However, if you wear that crop top again he WILL threaten to fuck you.

Has absolutely the biggest exhibition/danger Kink. Invisibly feeling you up as you're in a meeting. Disguising himself as a stranger and you giving favors. He has offered to disguise himself as an enemy teammate but got put off when you got too into the roleplay and cried out for that merc.

You two are never found out, as Spy is just a charismatic asshole and you are futilly enamored according to the team. Although, Scout has his suspicions after he overheard you and him laughing in Spy's smoking room.

Medic

Probably the most open about the relationship from the beginning, but unlike how Pyro is, he is very obvious that yours and his relationship is romantic and very much sexual in nature. Innuendos. Hands skirting your backside. Calling out to you jovially. It's all painfully obvious... it doesn't help that he is the LOUDEST mf in bed. They heard you before you told them.

He loves kissing you and ruining you when he gets jealous. Playing the protecting and possessive lover is one of his favorite things to do. Yeah, all Scout did was ask where you got your shoes, but to Medic, that's basically asking to sleep with you.

"Darling, can I rearrange your guts?" BEST PICKUP LINE HE HAS. FR. ON GOD. Everyone assumes that you two have fucked on the operating table, they pray that it's cleaned after.

Soldier is the one to walk in on you two. You assume he's going to shout and holler about how you two are a disgrace to the army, but he's strangely silent and just walks out. About 30 minutes later he bursts in again and lectures you about fraternizing.

[satoruzlove]

I AM THINKING SOOO HARD ABOUT MODERN DAY COLLEGE! MIKASA, EREN AND ARMIN!!!! HAVING A FRIEND GROUP W THEM!!!!!

like , okay , eren being that one guy that everyone knows but no one ever really talks to. people smile at him and greet him in the halls but he’s only ever with you, mika and armin between lectures. he’s a sports science major, he’s always at the campus gym or in the library on his laptop doing research. like he’s actually so good at what he’s into. he always has his hair half up, half down, he has a dog tag with his mum’s name on it and he has this wooden bead bracelet he never seems to take off. when he’s nervous [ usually when exam results are being passed out] he’s always fiddling with it. sometimes if he’s REALLY dazed he’ll have his dog tag between his lips and his pupils are all unfocused. he wears a lot of black, mainly heavily distressed jeans, sweats and jumpers. !!! IS A VANS GUY!!!! he draws on the sole of them and has yours, mikasa’s and armin’s names on them. </33333

he’s also the asshole of your group😭 like armin will just be putting on his glasses and eren just takes them and walks, he dead legs mikasa all the time and his favorite hobby is stealing your stationary for no good reason. 😭😭 he also acts like he’s never seen the things he took in his life. he uses armin’s head as an arm rest all the time, he LOVESSSS to ruffle yours and mikasa’s hair all the time, he can actually be pretty touchy. has a habit of fiddling with you guys. a lot of people on campus are like?? what the fuck when hes got an arm around mikasa’s shoulders or if hes got an arm around yours / armin’s cus hes just unconsciously very affectionate </3 bring it up and he’ll throw you.

armin who is a nursing student that i could literally ingest fully. he’s shorter compared to eren, he’s more well known because of how sweet he is and girls LOVEEE HIM. everywhere y’all go girls greet him and compliment his outfit, he’s always so bashful about it and sometimes eren will absolutely RUIN IT LIKE😭😭 “morning armin!!! i love ur hair today!!” “ good morning!! thank u sm urs is pret-“ “ hEYY ARMIN REMEMBER WHEN YOU PISSED THE BED💓💓💓💓” LMAOAOOAOAKAKAKAKAN 😭😭😭 mikasa has slapped his arms so many times bcus armin always feels so embarrassed, he walks away so fast and drags you with him while mikasa scolds him. poor baby. ARMIN’S STYLE!!!!!>>> he wears a lot of graphic tee’s in a more neutral colour, and then a dress shirt over, lots of cargo pants and air forces, specifically the ones with pastel details on them!!! he likes taking your jewellery so you two match a lot , it makes him so happy!!

he’s a grad student , his grades are so good. his gpa is like 3.8 mainly cus he has very bad exam anxiety, but he studies very often and his notes are so cool!! he’s an absolute master at diagrams , he has an eye for copy and pasting it just by looking at them and sketching. sometimes he gets really into it, and his glasses are almost falling off his face so you push them up for him. he always thanks you really quietly and squeezes the hand you used</333 his ears are secretly all pink and he’s smiling at his textbook</33333333 him and mikasa are an absolute power duo!!! they tend to bully eren and depending on how much of a rat he’s being , you either defend or bully him. you and eren are probably the more chaotic ones, tbh . ARMIN LOOOVES going on coffee dates with you guys!!! like you all go out when it’s chilly, sometimes you guy all hold hands and walk down the street 😭😭😭 and then you go in, chat, make jokes and take cute pictures just to destress after the long week at uni. it’s so pure and the pictures are stuff like all your drinks next to eachother, mikasa and eren hugging and pretending to make out😭😭, armin having a milk moustache and you almost dropping your drink all over yourself.

MIKASA IS A BUSINESS MAJOUR AND OH MY GOD SHE’S LIKE A ROBOT? if she’s half asleep and you asked her what the factors of production are she knows all of them are their remunerations too😭 she’s another one who’s super passionate and hard working , she loves the validation of knowing she did her best and she adores when you guys tell her that she’s done well): her teachers adore her, they all call her by her first name and her favorite one calls her mika after she heard eren calling her that!!</3333 she has a rly sophisticated dressing style, a lot of pleaded pants and turtle necks, leather jackets and very sleek jewellery. she has naturally fluffy brows and eyelashes so she doesn’t wear much makeup unless she’s feeling spicy 🤭 she also always has her nails as a deep wine red colour, it makes her look like a business woman. i’m drooling.

her books are all neat, everything about her is so pretty and elegant. she’s another kinda affectionate person but she’s sooo low-key about it lmao. like if y’all walk together she’ll walk on the open side of the sidewalk, she likes linking pinkies and loves holding onto armin/eren’s arm when she walks, or she basically attaches herself to your side. she’s always coddling you and armin,telling you to watch where you walk, reminding you to take vitamins, small things that show her affection for you</33 with eren she’s a bit less obvious about it and she’s AGGRESSIVE like randomly in your shared apartment and you’ll hear “ fuck you im not doing that” “it’s good for you asshole” “go away” and you’re like??? armin can u hear that but he’s already so done LMAO but he loves her anyway. she always tells armin how sweet he is and eren gets so pissy

just. them<3

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

I have a couple questions. First, I have a story in mind about four neurodivergent queer teenagers facing their struggles and other conflict (it's very anime inspired and also inspired by Deltarune). 2 kids are autistic and the other 2 have ADHD, although I'm thinking about one of the kids with ADHD is also autistic. One of the characters also has PTSD. I'm mainly wondering if you have any sources about writing neurodivergent characters and writing about PTSD.

Secondly, your blog really helped me learned about autism and ADHD and made more convinced that I'm most likely autistic and that my parents yelled at in past (and present) because of my autistic traits. Do you have any good sources for parents (as well as me) to learn more about autism so that they won't have a stereotypical idea of what autism is like anymore and to convince them to get me diagnosed (since I'm a minor)

Thirdly, I have a question if struggling learning grammar of your mother language can related to autism? Because I kinda suck at grammar and when I try to learn grammar rules I don't really actually learn. ( I guess that my teachers in elementary in school didn't know how to teach). I also really want to write my story and possibly get it published eventually.

Lastly, in your profile it says that you like rocks and fossils, so what's your favorite rock/mineral? Because I also like rocks and fossils.

Hi there,

Question 1:

I think the concept of your story is very interesting (even if I haven’t played Deltarune). And when it comes to PTSD, it can affect both autism and ADHD. Neurodivergent Insights has some great Venn diagrams showing the similarities and differences between the two:

If you want, you can add some of your own traits or your friend’s to the characters, which might help some.

Question 2:

This is difficult to answer, as I don’t know you personally and haven’t seen your home life. But I have found some sources that could possibly help:

I found this Reddit post from r/autism that has some tips that could help too:

Hopefully these can help.

Question 3:

Since people learn things at vastly different rates, some may be very good with grammar and English (it was my favorite subject and I got an associate degree in it). While others may struggle. In one study I read, it said:

The first studies on grammar and autism, published in the early 1980s, suggested that syntax isn’t a particularly big problem for children with the disorder. This work found that children with autism learn grammar in the same way that typical children do, but at a slower rate, in line with their overall developmental delay.

Since then, a couple of studies have suggested the linguistic picture is much more nuanced. For example, one study showed that children with autism don’t use correct verb tenses. Another found that they produce less complex sentences than do typical children or those with developmental delays

The full article will be below:

In one other article I found, it stated:

Linguistic and cognitive abilities manifest huge heterogeneity in children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Some children present with commensurate language and cognitive abilities, while others show more variable patterns of development. Using spontaneous language samples, we investigate the presence and extent of grammatical language impairment in a heterogeneous sample of children with ASD. Findings from our sample suggest that children with ASD can be categorized into three meaningful subgroups: those with normal language, those with marked difficulty in grammatical production but relatively intact vocabulary, and those with more globally low language abilities. These findings support the use of sensitive assessment measures to evaluate language in autism, as well as the utility of within-disorder comparisons, in order to comprehensively define the various cognitive and linguistic phenotypes in this heterogeneous disorder.

The full article will be below if you’d like to read it too:

Question 4:

I have lots of rocks that I think are pretty cool. One of my favorite minerals is bismuth due to its cool properties. My favorite rock type is igneous because it’s a rock from a volcano/molten rock and it has its own properties too.

Anyway, I hope those answer your questions. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[sunkissedpages]

instead of you [part sixty-one] || th

pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing

word count: 3.4k

That night, you turned Sam’s words over in your mind over and over again. He was wrong, you were convinced. You would love him the same no matter what. No matter if he asked you to end things with Tom or not. You told him as much but he didn’t seem to believe you.

You went back to your room shortly after your talk. You had walked a little more, stopped for dessert at a little shaved ice stand on the beach, and then turned back. Sam showered first, then you, but only after going over your agreement again. What you did with Tom was your business, but it had to be kept a secret. You were still Sam’s girlfriend for the duration of the trip. It was mainly about his parents anyway. Sam hadn’t explicitly told you why having a girlfriend was so important to him but after spending so much time with his family you could guess why. 

The next day, everyone piled into the cars and took the forty-minute drive back to Honolulu where you’d landed. Traffic was awful. You knew it took everything in Tom not to honk at the cars in front of him. You could see his knuckles turning white around the steering wheel from the back seat. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” he cursed as another F-150 cut him off. 

You and Sam traded looks but neither of you dared to say anything out loud. Even Harry’s grip on the armrest tightened when Tom swerved into the next lane to speed past the truck. 

“We’re not in a rush,” you reminded him. You wanted to touch his arm, reassure him somehow, but you couldn’t. 

“Yeah, mum and dad are way behind us now.”

“It’s not about speed,” he muttered. You weren’t really convinced about the speed thing. “It’s about the principle. These assholes shouldn’t be able to get away with driving like maniacs.”

“And what are you doing right now?” Sam asked carefully. 

His twin brother turned around in his seat to give him a warning look but to everyone’s surprise, Tom took a deep breath and actually stepped on the brakes. He only slowed down a little bit, less than five mph, but it was better than nothing. 

“Sorry, I’m just so used to being late all the time.”

“We know,” Harry joked. 

 “You should see my girlfriend drive,” your best friend joked. 

“Please, I passed my driver’s test on the first try,” you scoffed, making eye contact with Tom in the rearview mirror. 

He shook his head at you and mouthed low blow. Next to you, Sam was also shaking his head. 

“Yeah, and I want to talk to whoever passed you because there’s no way they weren’t under the influence of something.”

“You’re in the fast lane to never getting a ride from me again,” you muttered. 

Sam raised his hands in surrender. 

“Apologize,” Harry demanded, cutting in on your behalf.

“Yeah, apologize to me,” you agreed.

Sam sighed and turned his full body toward you, taking both of your hands in his. “I’m sorry, my love. Please forgive me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever.”

Sam turned back toward his brothers. “I think I’m in the clear, guys.”

You smacked the back of his head. 

-

The first stop in Waikiki was the ABC store. There was one on almost every block so you stopped at the first one you saw to buy snacks and drinks for the beach. 

“How many musubis do you want?” you asked Tom, who was in charge of alcohol. 

“How many are you getting?” he asked back with a grin. 

He looked ridiculous with his arms full of beer, smirking at you like that. 

“Two,” you said flatly. 

“I’ll get two as well.”

You asked the others how many they wanted and raided the mini warmer for them before dumping them at the checkout counter with the rest of what the boys picked out. Dom paid and had the four of you take the bags back to the cars. 

The next step was to find parking somewhere on the streets that were within walking distance to the beach. You had to split up from Sam’s parents to do so because there was no way you were going to be able to find two open parking spots on the same road. 

Once Tom parked, put money in the meter, and double-checked that the car was locked, the four of you slowly but surely made your way down to the shore where you met up with Nikki and Dom who had already picked out a spot in the sand. 

You had never seen a beach so crowded before. There were people everywhere. And all of the available space was being taken up by beach chairs and umbrellas that you had to rent from one of the several stands stationed behind them. Some of the different colored umbrellas even overlapped with each other in an apparent turf war. You could only imagine what conversations between the rival attendants must be like.

The beach was still beautiful, of course. You were in Hawai’i. Any beach here was going to be breathtaking. Waikiki Beach attracted so many tourists because of its beauty. That, and because of the dormant volcano, Diamond Head, sitting just off of the shore in plain sight for everyone to see.

“We rented four chairs,” Dom explained. “We figured not all of us would be sitting over here at once so we wouldn’t need six.”

Sam nodded in understanding. 

“Are you going to surf?” you asked. 

“Probably,” he answered, looking over to his brothers. “I assume you won’t be?”

“I think I’ll sit this one out.” 

You turned your foot over to look at your toe. Even though all of the sea urchin spines had dissolved, the marks from the injury were still fading. You couldn’t see yourself back on a board any time soon. 

You were content to lay out in the sun with your book until Sam wanted to wade in the water. 

The boys left to rent surfboards and their parents headed in the opposite direction for a walk along the beach, leaving you alone with all of the stuff. You joked to Nikki and Dom that you would protect it with your life but in reality, you would hand it over if someone so much as looked at you threateningly. 

You went to dig your book out from Sam’s backpack but accidentally grabbed his instead. It was the one you had already read and annotated for him. Out of curiosity, you opened to where he left off to see what part he was at and were surprised to see his handwriting scrawled in the margins of the most recent page. 

He hadn’t stopped annotating it. Even after everything, even when he was simmering with anger, he was still writing you little notes and responding to the ones you had left. You weren’t supposed to read them before he was done so you quickly closed it back and shoved it into the bag again before retrieving the book that was actually yours. 

You took a brief look back up at the water to see how the boys were doing but there were so many surfers that it was hard to pick them out. 

“Which one’s yours?” 

The voice beside you startled you, making you jump a little before you realized someone had taken the seat next to you. 

You weren’t sure where she had come from but a girl who looked to be about your age was perched on one of the chairs the Hollands had reserved. She was pretty, really pretty. Head full of curls and freckles dusted across her cheeks. The tangerine-colored bikini she was wearing looked amazing against her skin and you weren’t sure whether you were more jealous of her or attracted to her. 

“Huh?” you asked.

“Which one’s yours?” she repeated. 

“Oh.” You squinted at the waves, trying to zero in on Sam. “Uh, blue wetsuit in the group of three off to the side.”

The girl followed your gaze and nodded when she found him. “They just got out there, right?”

“Yeah, we only got here a few minutes ago.” You noticed the camera dangling around and realized she must be out there for someone too. “Um, which one is yours?”

“Long hair, kind of far out. He’s in the big cluster of surfers in the swell.”

Her boyfriend was easy to spot. He was paddling in the direction of an upcoming wave.

“Do you guys come out here often?” you asked. 

She nodded, curls bouncing. “David’s lived in Kaneohe like all his life, which is like fifteen minutes from here so it’s super convenient. The North Shore isn’t as crowded but the waves are practically nonexistent in the summer,” she explained. “What about you guys?”

“We’re on vacation.” You were embarrassed to admit that but it wasn’t like you could lie. You didn’t know the island at all. You also didn’t want to risk mentioning that it hadn’t been your choice to come here and offend her if she thought you were implying that her home state was the worst or something. 

“Oh, how fun!” she exclaimed. Ok, well that was a positive reaction at least. 

“My boyfriend’s family was nice enough to invite me along,” you added, wanting at the very least to establish that it hadn’t been your idea. 

“Holy shit, that is nice of them.”

“I know,” you agreed. 

“Well, while you’re here you should definitely check out the Pillbox hike. It’s a little brutal if you aren’t used to hiking uphill but the views are totally worth it.”

“I’ll be sure to mention it to him! We have a free day tomorrow so maybe we’ll do that, thank you.”

You would not be going on the hike. You hated hiking and heights but you would still mention it to Sam in case the boys wanted to go. 

She smiled but then something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she was standing up to leave. 

“Sorry, I promised my boyfriend that I would get some shots of him today and he’ll be pissed if I miss these waves.”

She threw you a wave over her shoulder as she jogged off. You waved back, calling out that it was nice to meet her. You never got her name. 

You only managed to get through a couple of pages of your book before another person approached your chairs. This time, it was Sam. He had come up to check on you. 

“Make a new friend?” he asked as he shook water out of his hair like a dog. 

“Oh yeah, did you see that girl talking to me?”

“Thought she might be trying to put the moves on you.”

“Oh my god, how many times do I have to tell you I’m not Bella Swan? Not everyone who talks to me is into me.”

“She was your type, though.”

“You say that about all girls.”

“Because that’s your type.”

You rolled your eyes at your best friend. “Either way, she wasn’t interested. She has a boyfriend. She was just asking me if I had a partner out there too.” 

“That doesn’t mean she didn’t think you were cute,” he pointed out.

“You’re so annoying,” you groaned. “I don’t need a wingman anymore.”

He made a face. “That’s right, you’re fucking my brother,” he said, sounding disgusted. You couldn’t blame him. 

“Do you have to announce that to the entire beach? I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, remember?”

Sam shrugged and plopped himself down on the chair next to yours. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to get it out of his eyes. Because they were wet, his curls had taken on a mind of their own. You had witnessed Sam try to tame his hair after a shower on several occasions. It usually ended with him just waiting for it to dry so that he could style it and then making you late to wherever you were supposed to be going. 

“Are you going to go back out there?” you asked. 

“Probably. Wanna join?”

“Very funny.”

“I was being serious.”

“Oh. Well, no thanks.”

“I figured but I just wanted to make sure.”

“You’re sweet.”

-

The boys surfed for a couple of hours before coming in to eat the musubis and snacks you bought earlier. Their parents returned around the same time and you all ate together. 

Afterward, Sam offered to wade around in the shallow water at the edge of the beach with you.

“You have to get in,” he insisted. “It’ll cool you down.”

“Okay,” you agreed.

You didn’t need any more convincing. You had wanted to get in anyway.    

“Harry, Tom, do you want to come with us?” Sam asked. 

They looked at each other and shrugged. “Sure.”

The four of you wove through the sea of beach chairs down to the shore where the remnants of bigger waves lapped at the sand. The water was crystal clear, apart from the frothy white foam atop the waves. It fizzled against the hot sand when the waves crashed against the beach, lingering still even when the water subsided. 

There were several groups of people in the ocean as well but it was less crowded than the beach. Families with small children were gathered right by the shore, the parents mingling with each other as the kids played with wet sand and beach toys. You wished you could remember what it was like to be that young. To meet a stranger and be best friends in the blink of an eye. 

There were less and less people the further out from the shore you got. Fathers teaching older kids how to boogie board, teenagers jumping in the waves as they gossiped with each other. 

You weren’t sure how long you spent in the water but before long, Nikki and Dom were waving from the beach to get your attention. 

“They’re either saying it’s time to go, or they’re ditching us,” Sam said, squinting and making a ‘what?’ gesture with his shoulders. 

“It’s really a fifty-fifty shot,” Harry added. 

“I think they want us to come in,” Tom guessed.

Tom was proven right mere seconds later when Dom beckoned you to join them. 

-

The latter half of the day was spent walking around the city. Being the center of tourism on the island meant Waikiki had a lot of shopping. You had never seen so many high-end stores in one place before. You did some window shopping while the Hollands did some shopping shopping. Practically everything in every single shop was out of your price range. You weren’t expecting otherwise but seeing the numbers on the backs of the price tags still hurt your heart. 

You could tell the sales associates recognized Tom from the way their eyes would get big when they saw him. They’d lean over and whisper to each other behind his back. Even though he couldn’t hear them you knew he knew it was happening. It made you feel kind of bad for him. Kind of. 

You ate dinner at some restaurant attached to the lobby of a hotel. It was on the water, which was nice, but it was just as crowded as the beach had been. The poor servers were so swamped that it took over an hour to get your food. No one minded, of course, but by the time Tom laid his credit card on top of the bill it was dark outside. 

“Do you remember where we parked?” Tom asked you as you 

    “Yeah, but I don’t know how to get there from where we are right now.”

“So you don’t remember where we parked.”

“No, I remember where we parked. But we’ve walked around so much that I don’t know how to get there.”

Tom shook his head at you. “You should always pay attention to where you’re going. It can be dangerous if you don’t know where you are.”

“Why should I? That’s what I have you guys for.”

"What if we weren’t here?”

“There’s a parked car option on my GPS.”

“What if your phone was dead?”

“What is wrong with you?”

“I just want you to be safe!”

You didn’t want to hear any more. “Sam, your brother is being an asshole!”

Your best friend, who had been walking alongside Harry, jogged up to meet you when you called for him. 

“What’d he do?” 

“I was just trying to-”

“I didn’t ask you,” Sam cut in, glaring at Tom. 

“He’s giving me a hard time because I don’t know how to get back to the car from here,” you explained. 

“We can just use the GPS app,” Sam said. 

You turned to Tom with a smug grin. “See?”

“I can’t believe you told on me,” he muttered under his breath. 

“Get used to it,” you hummed. 

-

The last day on Oahu was a free day. You told Sam about the pillbox hike that the girl from the beach had suggested and he woke up early to do it with Harry and Tom. He came back raving about it and showed you a bunch of pictures that made you feel a little sick to your stomach because of how high it looked. 

“Thank god I didn’t go with you guys,” you sighed. “I’d be freaking out even if I stayed at the bottom, just thinking about you up there. There aren’t any handrails or guards to keep you from falling-”

“We were fine,” he assured you. “I didn’t even show you the pictures of us on top of the box.”

“You climbed it?”

“I mean, we’d already climbed the mountain. What’s a little concrete box? Everyone else was doing it.”

You held a hand to your heart like a scandalized middle-aged woman. “I don’t think I want to know anything else.”

Sam took one look at you and laughed. “That’s probably for the best.”

You did some pre-packing at the hotel before joining his brothers to do some exploring. Like Sam, they had showered after their hiking expedition. All three of them were sporting still-wet hair that was dripping onto their shirts like kids sitting in church service after their baptism. 

You walked around the resort first, checking out all of the pools and hot tubs for later that night. Sam told his parents that he’d cook for the family and he’d dragged Harry and Tom with him to get groceries earlier. Apparently, Tom said he would help grill while Sam made some of the side dishes upstairs. You were interested to see how that would turn out. 

You walked by the lagoons next, slipping into the resorts along the shore to scope them out. You were surprised to see that some of them were nicer than the one you were staying at. You assumed the Hollands had chosen whatever the best money could buy was but maybe they were a more financially conscious family than you’d thought. 

“This is the Disney hotel,” Tom whispered in your ear as you passed one of the pools. “It’s crazy expensive to stay here for just a night. Like a standard room is over six hundred dollars.”

“Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately. I mean, we probably could have stayed here for free but someone would have to pull a lot of strings and then a handful of people would know exactly where I’m going to be and when and we would have had to hire security... it was just easier to book somewhere else.”

“Isn’t it kind of dangerous to be walking around here in the open then?”

Tom shrugged. “I like to live life on the edge.”

You snorted. “Clearly.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Sam showed me the pictures from your hike earlier.”

His eyes widened. “He did?”

“Uh huh.”

“Shit.”

“You know, I could point out how hypocritical it is to lecture me about safety one day and then do shit like that the next, but I won’t.” 

“You’re the one that told us about the hike!”

You ignored him. “Does your agent know you were climbing mountains this morning?”

He narrowed his eyes at you and leaned closer to your face. “No, and she never will.”

“You seem pretty sure of that...”

“You don’t have her number,” Tom said like he was trying to reassure himself rather than call your bluff. 

“Not yet, I don’t.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise.”

He gulped. "Why do I get the feeling we're not talking about my agent anymore?"

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

[beylinine]

eddsworld headcanons go!!!

remembered this is my blog and i can post whatever i want

why is this so much, i even tried to condense it ToT

i love these guys idc idc

linking to this doodle i made of them for visuals

For age sake in this, post- The End

Edward 'Edd' Golbey (27, 187cm/ 6'1, unlabelled-demisexual) 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Mexican heritage, knows a little bit of culture from maternal grandpa

-few holiday traditions, simple spanish (Swears, as well ofc), music

Has lived in the same area in North London all of his life

School subjects would be like Art (ofc), Media Studies, and Maths (idk how GCSEs worked in the early 2000s but wtv)

Middle child. Older sister Lucielle and younger brother Oliver

Met Matt in primary. Met Tord in sixth form. Met Tom in uni.

Divorce, clean break. Single mum Clara, double christmas dad Charles

Family home, people moved out, mum went to live with new husband in the West Country.

-Edd last man standing, with Ringo

Rescued Ringo after he left school

Degree in Mathematics, worked private sector for a few years before quitting and focusing on art

will help family and friends with taxes for money

relationships and friendships mean a lot to him

was a lowkey menace as a kid, matt can confirm, but has become a gentle giant

Likes coins, appreciating their designs, but can't collect them because he will spend them

Loves, LOVES Halloween (Mainly bc it's also his birthday)

Competitive with racing games

he's just a lad

.

Internally, absolutely devastated over what Tord did.

he thought that they were...he though that they were friends

Doesn't believe it actually happened, he tells himself as he takes the trash down to the building's bin room

Matthew McLloyd (27, 181cm/ 5'11, asexual panromantic)

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇮🇪

Was born in Ireland but moved closer to mum's family when he was young.

Only child, pampered for real

Messy divorce when he was a teen, single mam Louise & resentment for dad

Focus on English and language in school, but has always been fascinated by hair salons which led to him getting certified after school

Doesn't trust anyone else with his own hair, lets be real

Edd's teacher appointed best friend

Low-key mean boy during his teens but learns to hide his attitude as he gets older

Did not really like Tord or Tom when they started hanging out around Edd, but learned to tolerate and sometimes enjoy their friendship

Works at a local hair salon and loves to gossips like its no ones business

Dislikes ketchup

.

tries to keep a level head and high spirits after everything, knowing edd and tom went through a lot

Thomas Jack Pinnell (24, 171cm/ 5'7, bi-demiromantic)

🇺🇸🇹🇷🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Grew up in Oxford

English Ama, Lina Pinnell. American Dad, Vincent Namli. Were together but not married.

-RIP dad when he was young

Older sister Maya, fighting yet got his interests from her (helping his sister dye her hair in their bathroom in exchange for staying up past bedtime)

Mum started seeing an old boyfriend of hers, William, after being a widow for a few years

-Awkward but chill stepdad-stepchildren situation

Focused on Music (ofc), geography, and home-economics in school

Was made fun of for height (and home-ec) but fought back. lots of detention and visits to the nurse as a teen

-yet he also was also a bully for a bit

Went to uni for technology, got a local job as a bartender for free drinks

-got his bartending certification

Dropped out after a year, but stayed around in a dingy flat, still working at the bar and doing odd jobs here and there

Kept hanging out with Edd, Matt, and Tord for the vibes

Played bass in his spare time, got better at cooking

Collects pins/badges of his favourite bands, shows, movies, and random ones

a bit scared of horses, there's just something about them

Friendship with Tord goes down after about a year or two, physical fights sours a lot of their meetings, so they don't talk to each other when possible

Moves in with Edd only after another year or so go by because he can't stand the idea of living with Tord, but for a cut back on rent and bigger room some sacrifices must be made

the two manage to tolerate one another, but after more years, it goes back to shit

Gets a job as a bartender at a popular music venue, free drinks and music? yes

.

terrified of death. will wake up screaming at night from memories of the house crumbling around him

Tord Vicente Nilsen (25, 177cm/ 5'9, pansexual)

🇨🇱 🇳🇴

Ama, Violeta Sepúlveda. Papp, Espen Nilsen.

Two sisters, Andrea and younger Elise. Older Cousin, Nilo.

-Papp fell in love with Ma while on a trip to Santiago. Wrote to her for two years before going back to marry her. Violeta was raising her dead sister’s son, Nilo, as her own, Espen didnt mind and welcomed him.

-Lived with her for two years in Chile, had Andrea there, moved everyone to Norway later and had Tord and Elise there.

When Tord was 14, the family moved to England for a change.

-Focused on technology, science, and art in school

Was very welcomed by Edd at school, even though the year differences, they both liked drawing and the same games

Spanish, Norwegian, and English speaker

Football lad, F1 enjoyer, overall competitive

loser in his early adult years,

-Goes to school for engineering

Kept talking and hanging out with Edd, and Matt was there too

Losing a game to Tom domino effect to take over the world?

-not quite but it was start of the frenemies.

-he was shorter and younger, add the anger issues, it was so easy for Tord to poke fun

Partakes in protests about issues he cares about and enjoyed making the occasional political cartoon

Tinkerbell more like TinkerTord, always tinkering away in his room as he moves in with Edd at the end of uni since his parents had moved back to Norway

-one of his sisters and cousin moved across the isles.

Picked up smoking during uni but only does it once in a while

A very proud man (though he do be a loser still)

.

yeah thats it for now, i'll update and change this around for my own reference but eee

[tmwcs]

Hey! Its my first time sending an ask hehe~ I just wanted to say that you’re such an amazing writer and your series are just sooooo good!!! 😍😍😍 I started getting into your account when I came across the smau for MRE and HHP and I gotta say, you got me hooked so bad onto Heethan that I end up loving all your Hee-leads so far! I’m so invested in HHP, SE7EN, DT and now TO! I’m honestly so excited to read a new chapter everytime you post hahaha! 🤭🤭

The main reason I wanted to send you this is cuz I’ve been having super stressful and bad days these past few days and its mainly cuz its my final year in college, final semester and final week actually 😅 and there’s just like sooo many final preparations needed to be done for my big final year project (having my big presentation today! soooo nervous) and its just been too much and too overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother anyone with my anxiousness so I’ve been keeping it all to myself and having slight panic attacks and just started having random breakdowns as I complete my assignments. Reading your series, whether its new chapters or just rereading older ones have given me comfort, like I really felt alone but its like Heethan, Heelel and the Heebros have become my comfort characters. It’s just been so overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother my family with it, I only have one other friend that I trust with my whole life but rarely see her, we’re all busy and I just felt like I’m falling behind in everything. Even though the Hee-leads might be like crazy obsessed with the reader, its like I really needed them in my life just to have someone to drop everything just to hold and comfort me anytime life becomes too much for me. I’m actually crying while writing this to you hahaha… it just feels like everyone around me is moving so fast and I’m stuck at the back picking myself up just because I feel so overwhelmed and anxious easily. Turning 20 this year is another thing that has me feeling afraid of adulthood, my mum is pressuring me into getting a job immediately once I graduate but I just feel like I’m not ready, or I’m just not ready to give up my teenage freedom and socialise professionally. Being such an introvert and shy and always thinking I’m just dumb and cant do work without help has been holding me back from wanting to grow and enjoy this new chapter in life.

So sorry for this long ass rant but i just really needed to let you know how much your stories, your Hee-leads have been keeping me going. Excited for the next chapters of your series! Hope you’re having a great day❣️

Omg so....I LOVE THIS.....this is so heartwarming and thank you for sharing it with me. Also, thank you for discovering my blog so you can write this to me, bc as you may have figured, receiving asks are just....its so nice. its a nice and wonderful surprise to hear from readers interesting in my work, wanting to know more about the characters and so forth. I am just beyond touched that heethan, heelel, and heebrows have made their way into your heart and to provide you comfort. in fact, reading your message had reminded me of a piece that i had started to draft (it was originally supposed to be a part of one of the HHP chapters but i never went through with it) but i still had it in my folders so after i finished reading your message, I decided to go back and actually finish it and format it specifically for you as y/n. I hope you like it. <3

Heeseung's Message.....

MDNI18+ content below the line.

Warnings: mentions of losing loved ones, fears and worries about the future, smut, car smut, unprotected smut, some....just some sadness....its a very heartwarming and touching piece.

"What's wrong baby?"

Noting how silent you were in the car, right after he picked you up, Heeseung rubbed your thigh, gently shifting your skirt upwards as he softly slid his hand up and down, enveloping you with warmth and comfort. "Something on your mind pretty baby?"

Placing your hand on his, you grabbed hold semi-tightly, keeping your gaze out at the window. You were hesitant at first, noting that Heeseung had a busy schedule of his own, was on his way of finishing his last year in college, aiding his professors, and of course, there was you....picking you up from classes, dropping you off every morning, taking you wherever you needed to go. You appreciated it but the man had completely devoted his time to everything else, you felt it selfish to bring any matters up to him....feeling that whatever time he did have left within the evening, he should at least have it for himself.

"It's nothing." You sighed out.

Glancing over to you, he furrowed his brows and quickly shifted the wheel, stirring the car over to a nearby parking lot on one of the campus buildings.

"What are you....?" raising up in your seat, you looked around before turning your gaze over to Heeseung, who steered the wheel with one hand and in a smooth motion, parked the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt, his gaze meets with yours before he reaches up and places his hand behind your head, softly grabbing onto your hair as he leans in and rests his forehead against yours.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I wanna know. Tell me, y/n."

His eyes were wide and his expression was fierce with rage, however, before he further ventured off into a spiraling path of unhinged presumptions, you reached up and latched your fingers onto his collar, placing a dainty kiss on his lips. "Its not that....I promise nothing like that happened."

Raising his brows and tilting his head, he releases the gentle grip he had on your hair, and replaced it with a soft, petting motion. "Then why are you being so quiet? You seem upset, what is it?"

Looking down at the console for just a second, you raise your sights once more to meet his and began talking.

".....Are you ever scared about the future, Heeseung?"

His face was taken slightly aback as he raised both brows and looked at you with an intent look.

"Is that what this is about? Are you feeling overwhelmed about moving?"

Shaking your head, you looked down once more as you shyly clarified. "Nooo.....its not just that....its more..."

"Like what baby?"

"Like....after the moving.....finishing college, being in an unfamiliar country, not knowing anybody, making new friends, meeting your family, being apart from mine, learning a new language, finding a job after college, and what if I have to do more college? Or ...." pausing, you caught yourself drifting in verbal thought.

"Or....?" He draws out as he bids you to finish your statement.

"Or........what if....what if something happens and we........you know.....what if we just...."

Squinting his eyes slightly, his expression looked a little irked as he rolled his tongue in his mouth. "That's never going to happen y/n. You know that."

"Yeah but....."

"But what?" Slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes for a second, tilted his chin down, and lifted his lids to expose a rather stern and rather angry look. Yet the moment he saw that your eyes began to glisten, shining like diamonds as the tears started to build up, you looked down once more, unable to look him square in the eye as you felt the first tear break free and drip down on the leather padding of the console.

Watching as you faintly sobbed, he nearly felt his heart break into two. He gasped out a faint breath as he reached over with his other hand and cupped your face, no longer expressing a look of annoyance.

"Hey......why? What's making you think that way? Am I not showing you enough love? You know whatever it is you want, all you have to do is tell me and I'll make it happen."

"Its not that i just........there's just some things we can't predict about the future Heeseung......what if some day......what if you stop loving me......or worse.....what if something happens and I no longer have you? What if....just.......you never know.....is it wrong for me to hope for the best, but expect the worse? Because...you know that life can be so unfair some times....and I....I....I'm scared because....I dont even know....what I'm scared of sometimes. I wake up every single morning not even knowing how to live life because there's so many things that I think about....so many things that are thrown at me all at once and I just.....I feel like sometimes......I might fail......I feel like sometimes.....I will let you down.......I feel like its not the world, its me.........its me that's broken, not you or anyone else."

You gasped out tears and soft cries as you spoke straight from the heart. For the first time, Heeseung had sincerely considered if going to Korea was the best option, at least just for a second before he reminded himself of the future that he had waiting for him.....a future that would allow him to continue to keep you....safe....and with him.

Shifting his sights around on the floor bed of the car, his thumbs stroke your cheeks, wiping away the continuous flow of tears that were now coming down harder than before. Gulping down a hard swallow, he turns back to face you.

"Baby.........look at me....please look at me."

Looking up into his gaze, your eyes red, swollen, with eyelashes drenched and your face stained with wet trails of all your fears leaving their mark. With a soft smile, he calmly speaks.

"You're right.....that is tough. There's a lot that we can't control in the future....its precarious, and we're literally just pawns on the board of this silly game called life, where God and the universe are taking turns making each move. It can be cruel, unfair, and tormenting. Its something that we can either overcome with great strife and hard work."

"But what happens if we work so hard and it.....it just doesnt work out? What if everything just falls apart Heeseung?"

"We wont know unless it happens y/n......the thing about the future, as much as we want it here in the present, so we can see and view what it has in store for us, thats....just not the way it works. That's not the way we work....we're not designed to know those things. We didn't become strong because we cheated, we became strong and survived because we, as humans, learned....the hard way."

Looking into his eyes, your vision started to become blurry all over as the next set of tears built up. Smiling as he continued to wipe your tears away, he continues.

"Y/n....for thousands of years, people have fallen, lost, and suffered at the creativity of the universe. Yet we never gave up......people had an urge to survive. Which is why at times, even when the entire world was on fire, times where a soldier never comes home, a woman loses her child, or when a doctor just doesnt have a cure.....we keep moving....we get back up and learn how to walk again. I can't sit here and tell you that I know that everything is going to be great.....I dont know. But what I do know.....is this...."

Shifting his hands down to your waist, he lifts you with his core strength as his abdominal muscles flexed under his shirt. Bringing you over onto his lap, he sat you down in a princess style as he cradled you against his chest.

"No matter what happens....I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there and I'm going to help you, just like you're going to help me. I'll never let anything happen to you....and.....you never have to worry about me not loving you .....noooooooo pretty baby......that's never going to happen, not loving you would be the worst offense against Heaven and humanity. As far as if anything were to happen to me...."

The moment Heeseung touched on that part of the subject, you sobbed uncontrollably against his neck.

"Heeeeeey, come on now. Nothing's even happen, why are you acting like that's a for sure thing?" he chuckles out as he kisses your forehead. "Listen..." Taking your hand in his, he continues.

"I'm not going anywhere......I'm not. I know this because I know what is living for me......you. I will never abandon you. Even if something did happen, you know i'm always going to be with you. You know how?"

Shaking your head, he brushes your hair away from your face.

"Moments like this baby. Every time we talk, touch, feel each other, love, eat, sleep, kiss, and when I fuck your brains out...." gripping onto your waist tightly, he presses his forehead against your own once more. "All the things we do, they never leave. So.......if there is ever a time where I am not physically here......you're always going to remember how i feel..." gliding his hand from your waist, he reaches down and gently trails it upwards under your skirt, his fingers reaching into your panties.

"You're going to remember my touch..." kissing your neck, he latches his mouth onto your soft spot under your ear, and rings the tip of his tongue around in slow circular motions.

"You're going to remember my scent...." with his free hand, he reaches behind your head and gently pushes your face inward, causing your nose to become burrowed in his thatch of dark long, shaggy hair, inhaling the scent of his cool-mint cologne and his shampoo.

"You'll also remember what I taste like...." placing a soft peck on the spot he was sucking on, he tilts his head up slightly and brings your head down to kiss him.

"And best of all......pretty baby.......you're going to remember what it feels like when I fuck you......when I love you." Shifting your body to face forward, your back completely spooned by his chest and groin as you both remained seated in the drivers side, he spreads your legs open by pushing our inner thighs apart. You were so caught up with the sensual four play, you hadn't realized that he tore off your panties. Unbuttoning your blouse, exposing your breasts, he shifts you up as he levels his length to align with your slit, before proceeding to enter inside you. Feeling full of his flesh, you moaned out as the overwhelming sense of pleasure hits you........taking you away from the abysmal depths of your fears and worries.

Steadying you in a reverse cowgirl position, filing you, his cock melts inside you as he begins thrusting slow and steady, picking up the pace as your walls become more moist.

"You feel me pretty baby?"

"Y-yes!"

"Yeah? You gonna remember me forever?"

"Y-yes...yes! He-Heeseung!"

"You gonna remember what this feels like?"

"Yes!"

"What does it feel like baby? Tell me."

"F-f......fe-feels......ssss......goood......soo....soo.goood....ugh!"

"Harder or faster baby?"

"ugh! both! please both!"

Thrusting repeatedly, your body falls limp as he holds you upright, with one arm wrapped around your waist, and his other hand shifting a grip between your neck and your exposed breast, he muffles your moans and screams with his mouth as he swallows every single bit of your precious tones.

"Gonna cum for me?"

"Y-ye.....yes!...yes.......ugh! He-Heeseung!"

"Yeah? You gonna cum because you're a good girl?"

"Mmm!mmmmmm....mmmhmmm!....ugh!"

"You my good girl?"

"Y....yes!!"

"Yeah you are.......now fucking cum on me. Let me feel it."

Adding more depth to each thrust, you gasped out your screams of pleasure as he rams his cock deep inside, separating new found walls and extracting the moisture out of your body. Reaching orgasm and releasing all over his member, your thighs shake relentlessly.

"Good girl.....my turn."

Cupping your lower tummy, he pushes in and feels his thick length as it slides in and out, he found it amusing how your sensitive body could take him like this, especially feeling it inside you as he was doing right now. Jacking his member deep inside you at a rapid and hard momentum, he finally reaches his moment and with one last punctured thrust, he bucks his hips upward as he shoves you down, mashing your bodies together as he releases inside and fills your body up.

Pulling your head back as he latches his mouth on your neck yet again, suckling as your body bounces rigorously from the tenacity of his performance.

Feeling the pleasure of his tainted love, you somehow were to understand his message clearly, all due to Heeseung extracting you from your fears......which he had done before, back when Samuel sent you his email......back when you and Heeseung came together for the first time.....the start of your guys story. Just as he did back then, he helped you to understand, that the reality of what life gives, is never necessarily the ending to your story. The more he kept pumping into you, the more you were reminded of that clarity. Yea sure, you still felt scared, but knowing that if at first you dont succeed....reach happiness.....or if things just dont work out, you can and should always, try-try again. A lesson you were always reminded of, all thanks to Heethan.

Authors note: Lol, sooooooo...yeah this original draft did have some smut....and i was going to take it out but it was too crucial for me to do so. I hope you dont mind that. But, this chapter was originally drafted, back a few months ago. I had this thought in my head, since I have only taken a few college courses, and am about to start back up on it, I was feeling so dreadful and felt too nervous about doing well. I want to succeed in reaching my educational goals....but what also kind of bugged me was....will i still find time to write? I love writing, truly do. Mainly because it brings other people joy and brings out their most inner feelings. I had so much on my mind that time that i had began drafting this, but as i was writing it, i left it unfinished bc honestly, when i drafted heethan's message.....literally its like his voice was telling me what to write....i felt better. like it was a nice little reminder....realistic...very rational....and honest...but still positive and holds truth. there's a lot of things we can't control, but we should never give up. Its okay to be scared and to worry, that's natural, and that is exactly why people such as myself are here, writing these chapters and stories for you all because i know that there is such a thing called 'life' and sometimes....we just need a break from it to refresh ourselves. I know you have alot on your plate, but dont worry because everything will be more than fine. We have to pace ourselves, work hard, but also rest, and play from time to time. Eat and drink well, and finish strong. finish college, work with your mother and teach her to work with you, if you dont get the job you really want, no big deal. no matter what job you get, if its one you dont want, nothing lasts forever. just think that whatever you do now, it is only making you more marketable for the dream goal you have. I hope you continue strong because while you do have alot on your plate, you've been slaying....you've been killing it! and that's a major accomplishment in itself, last of year of college? woohoo! finish strong!

So now i should apologize for responding with the longest post ever lol. but i really hope this makes you feel better. Reading your message had reminded me of this piece and i am so glad you sent it to me because....looking at it now...and actually finishing it......this was something that was meant to be published and shared. bc it holds an important message for all of us. <3

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[blossom-adventures]

Kupo Con: Pom2, London, 15th & 16th September 2023

Where do I even begin! What a weekend!

Long story under the cut, because I need to tell you everything 😆

Starting off on Friday the 15th, we drove down to our hotel in Watford, which allowed us to get a train into London for Pre-Reg, which was available for Patreons of KupoCon, to get our tickets.

A lot of people were there and I probably knew half of them, or more, from the Discord Server but I was too nervous and shy to go over and say hello. Until I saw the only one I’d met previously, I went over and said hello! She then introduced me to one of the other people there, the cosplayer who won the “People’s Choice” Cosplay award last Kupo and who has been incredibly supportive of me every time I’ve shared progress on Discord and our meeting went like this… (using initials for privacy ☺️)

L: “Hey R this is P, from the discord!”

R: “Are you Blossom!?”

P: “Yes!”

R gives me a big hug

I spent a while talking with him and I think we became fast friends, I felt like I’d known him for ages! (Technically kind of had, because we’ve been talking in the discord) and I was really nervous but he was so lovely and made it so easy to talk to him!

Then, because of train times, we had to leave, but I’d met several of the other cosplayers (mainly Clives… no joke! I met 3 all at the same time!) and I was absolutely buzzing for the main event!

Saturday the 16th, the main event! Me and my mum got to the venue just as the doors opened, within 10mins I was in an elevator with a Noctis cosplayer, who jokingly asked if they’d survive this elevator ride! 😆 I then had a Sephiroth comment on my cosplay as I walked past

I met up with R because I knew how excited he was to see my cosplay, we had another hug (as much as we both could manage anyway; I was in a tight black coat and he was in full Clive cosplay) and he went off to support his friend who was dressed as FFXs Ifrit!

While waiting for the Opening Ceremony to start, I got given my first Masquerade Token! I was beside myself with excitement! I couldn’t believe it!

The Opening Ceremony was so fun! I met a friend who I’ve known online since December, which was amazing!

And then the Cosplay Parade happened! John Bentley (Barret FFVIIR) and Liam Mulvey (Libertus FFXV Kingsglaive) were presenting it, they were both so enthusiastic about it! I was really nervous because I was stepping up onto a stage in front of a lot of people, but I did it, and Liam’s reaction was priceless!

Then we went on our way, wandering the stalls and doing quests. Every time I passed R and his group, he checked in with me, to make sure I was ok and having a good time, which I really appreciated as it was my first Kupo and Cosplay.

Then I joined the queue to meet Liam… I said hello and gave him a print of a commission I’d had done earlier in the year and then he signed my own copy of the print… and then he gave me a Masquerade Token and I was lost for words! Because I didn’t realise the guests would also have tokens!

Riding that high, I decided to join the queue to meet John. And WOW! That man is amazing! He’s so lovely and excited and genuinely loves the community! Once he’d signed my print we went to get a picture, and he complimented me on my cosplay, when I said it was my first one, he was amazed! So he told his wife (who was holding my phone to take the picture for me) to video a message, which is of him saying how awesome my cosplay was, then he gave me another Token! I couldn’t believe it! I excitedly told R what had happened and he said how amazing that was too!

By the end of the day and the start of the Closing Ceremony I had been given 9 Tokens! I had been saying in the Discord Server that 1 or 2 would be amazing! But I got 9!!!

I stayed with R for the Closing Ceremony, chatting and laughing, someone he knew from a past event complimented me on my cosplay, which R instantly agreed with, he was so supportive of everything and I will always be grateful for that

Both the “People’s Choice” and “Staff Choice” award was won by a cosplayer who made, and was operating, Hell House from FFVII which was a much deserved win.

It was at the end of the Closing Ceremony that I got a selfie with Ben, I’d spoke to him briefly earlier, after his panel, saying that I was hoping to get into the queue to meet him properly, to which he replied “Ok, Ardyn!”

But looking at the line to meet him I knew I would miss the opportunity, so as he returned to finish off the signings that were waiting for him I asked if I could grab a selfie, and he said yes, as he ran off to his table he said how good my cosplay was too.

I went over to Liam and John to thank them once again for the Tokens they gave me, and how much they meant to me, they both responded with similar things; that it was deserved!

Feeling the lump in my throat from the emotions those compliments caused, I went over and said goodbye to R, knowing I’d likely not see him again face to face until February for the Birmingham KupoCon, I managed to keep it together until I got back to my mum, I started crying shortly after!

Please! If anyone has read this far who is a Final Fantasy fan I couldn’t recommend Kupo more! It was amazing! I’ve never felt so welcomed and included at a convention before and everyone I met was lovely and supportive

Next stop for me is Birmingham in February, until then… “Walk Tall, My Friends”

[lumilasi]

I meant to make these tidier, but since my mental health tanked pretty bad, I just don't have the energy for that currently. Just some Roman doodles to try and learn to draw him more consistent looking, as I am still struggling with it. I like some, others are a bit ehhhhhh.....

Also added some info blurbs as I did with the Cornel/Camilla doodles roughly week ago.

Some extra context below:

Roman's mum was a human who got bitten by a Lycan while pregnant, but due to having a mythical baby in her womb, Roman essentially protected her from transforming. In fact, the infection didn't take effect until Roman was around 4-5. Roman has Lycan heritage as a result as well, which mainly means fluffier dog forms, and strength boost during full moon & being affected by silver somewhat, unlike Grimmhounds normally would be.

Roman's mum had no idea the guy she'd briefly dated was a Grimmhound, as her family were Lycan hunters and probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two, so he hid his true identity from her. (He never really cared about her that much, just found it thrilling to hide RIGHT under the hunter's nose, then fled when he got her pregnant accidentally)

His GF's dad not liking him is not Roman's fault at all, and more Lawrence being stuck with a bias towards Lycans and Grimmhounds due to a traumatic event in the past that happened and kind of messed up the Faydream family. Part of the story is them addressing this said bias and snapping Lawrence out of his current, unhealthy state of mind, which has been damaging to his relationship with his loved ones.

Roman's full Grimmhound form is very powerful, given it gets an extra boost from his Lycan heritage, but he is uncomfortable using it most of the time because it makes him think of his late sperm donor.

Because he's lived a lot of his life not being accepted/being forced to be someone he's not, his friends and GF make extra effort to affirm that he's loved, and that he's fine the way he is, knowing he's struggling with that internally.

[absurdthirst]

I need advice. You’ve always steered my right before ♥️

I’m so conflicted. Apologies for the essay but i genuinely don’t know what to do.

So, for context, my brother and his partner split earlier in the year. He was living with my parents for a few months before they split because they were having issues. He basically reverted to a teenager. Couldn’t be bothered to see his kids and just wanted to online game all the time. Fast forward to end of Feb, he has a massive blowout with my family and moves back home. It then later transpired that he had been cheating for months prior to all this and his ex kicked him out.

He now lives with my mum (parents are split) and hasn’t spoken to my dad, my husband or I for months (hubby and I didn’t absolutely nothing wrong). He sent a text the day we had our son (after his ex told him to) but that’s it. Radio silence. Taken zero interest in our son. Doesn’t seem to care about any of us.

My husband and I have always been super supportive and have tried to be as present as we can in his kids lives (we do live 2 hours away). His ex has met the baby. Took several trains to come visit and it took her 3 hours but he still, 2 and a half months on, has not bothered to visit (he can also drive). We met his daughter at a month old and his son was a week old.

Now to what I need advise on.

My mum, who I have a strained relationship with as is for many reasons but mainly because we have never been her priority, has been diagnosed with very early breast cancer.

Its completely treatable and hasn’t spread so honestly the best case scenario… but obviously still stressful. One thing to know about my mum, shes a pathological liar and has always used situations to gain sympathy but she has cried wolf so many times it’s hard to believe her when she is telling the truth. She has lied about having cancer once before. She had a benign tumour removed… then changed her story later to say it was cancerous despite telling us initially it wasn’t. I know it is true this time though, only because a close family friend confirmed it.

However, its her birthday in September and she wants us all get together for lunch. As you can imagine I have very mixed feelings about this. As much as i understand she wants her family together, i don’t particularly want to spend an afternoon with my brother. Before this all happened i had told her that we will go but we won’t bring the baby if my brother doesn’t reach out first. She said she’d have a word with him but he still hasn’t.

She’s now trying to use this situation as a way to manipulate me into getting her way but I feel really strongly about him not being introduced to my baby until he demonstrates that he actually cares about him. I grew up feeling very unwanted by my mum and I don’t want that for my child. So I am still set on trying to get someone to take care of him if he still doesn’t reach out.

Am I being unreasonable here? My husband thinks I should just suck it up but I honestly don’t think he gets how hurt I am 😔

Nope. You aren’t required to bring your baby around a potentially toxic situation.

It sounds like your brother has the emotional maturity of a child and he knows he was wrong and refuses to own up to it. He’s too busy living his life how he sees fit.

Given that he’s had no interest in your family, you have no requirement to bring your baby around him. Your mother sounds great. Like my grandmother and I’ve lived less than 40 minutes from her for the past year and I’ve seen her one time. Only for her to lie about me and I’ve not spoken to her since.

You want to protect your child from the heartaches you lived through. There isn’t anything wrong with that.

Although, anon, I do advise you to perhaps speak to a therapist for the feelings from your childhood and for some tactics to set boundaries with your family and deal with their toxicity.

Congratulations on your baby! 💜

[kimmiessimmies]

Sweet Beginnings Tag

This tag is all about looking at your past. All you need to do is to find one of the first screenshots you ever took (preferably also published), and post it beside the recent one! And tell everybody when you took that first picture! Oh, and don’t forget to tag your posts! #sweet beginnings tag.

Thank you @hancyan, @greenplumbboblover, @nocturnalazure and @eljeebee for tagging me in this.

I have to be honest though, seeing this Sweet Beginnings Tag going round has been bringing out my insecurities. I see people posting their 2010's stuff saying "Eww!", "Cringe!", "OMG, look at this puddingface!", "The lighting is horrible!" and "What was I thinking with that camera angle?!" Meanwhile I'm sitting here looking at these pictures they deem to be such an embarrassment and all I think is "Umm, that's better than what I currently do... So if that's all so disgusting, what does that say about (your opinion on) my stuff?"

But I will play! I love looking back! I know what everyone is expecting is a huge difference between a Sim created in the 2010s and one created now, but guess what, peeps; the Sims that were the centre of my Sim-universe back then are the same ones still going strong today. I stick with my babies foreverrrrr. I also will not say, "Oh, look what an embarrassment I was back then." What I will say, though, is there was a time when I didn't know turning off headline effects was an option. See for yourself:

September 2012

This is The Prom of 03, one of the first (non-)story posts. We see Dan and James, still the best cousin-friends ever, talking after James had just publicly broken up with Jill.

At that point, I posted to my WordPress blog and to The Sims Daily (I know I keep commenting this on everyone's posts, but I soooo miss the awesome atmosphere of the forums and to my darlings from the TSD days: I MISS YOU! I MISS US!).

However, aside from the picture above, I also managed to shoot the picture below by NOT posing anyone and just clicking at the right time. For the early days, that's quite the skill, I think! Especially when you realise I also didn't know how to use the tab camera mode yet.

September 2012

This is Ellie's mum Annabel meeting teacher Eva on Ellie's very first day of school. With Ellie standing by. Just using in-game interactions (not even Animator).

In April 2013, I came to Tumblr. At first, I mainly reblogged posts by my Daily friends and posted pictures of Honeycomb Valley and interiors. I feel tempted to reblog one of those full posts now. Should I?

After a few months, I started posting links to my (non-)stories on my blog, accompanied by some pictures to get a taste of the story and hopefully lure people to my WordPress blog. Funnily enough, one of those first pictures is my darling Sadie singing, which is the same thing I photographed today! :)

June 2013

Fun fact: This is the karaoke performance which landed Sadie her place as The Hot Wings female lead! Oh, how this moment would end up changing her life... Neither her nor me knew just how much by that point. Makes me all nostalgic to see her like this again.

By this point, I did know how to turn off headline effects and how to work the camera in tab mode, which already made a difference.

Unto the current stuff. Well, my absolute proudest pictures are these:

August 2023

Particularly because of the emotions they portray. Which were so on point for the story they were telling. Aww, my Joshua <3.

A lot of the credit for these goes to the pose creators though. In particularly @danjaley for her railing poses.

I will also share Singing Sadie again, even though I've shared this picture two times already, but I figured it would be fun to see in this post to compare her (and me) to the picture above.

October 2023

I do think I've grown over the years. No, I know I did. And I know even my current stuff isn't as shiny and polished and perfect as a lot of other stuff out there, but these are my babies and I love them just the way they are. :)

Tagging @simsaralove, @ice-creamforbreakfast, @wasset-aseskara, @missy-hissy, @danjaley. But feel free to ignore if you've already done this or simply don't feel like it.

[blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms]

Dinner- Aaron Hotchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Erin Strauss, David Rossi

Warnings: N/A

Request: Wattpad- My request would be; Aaron Hotchner x reader-Y/n is Strauss' daughter (it would have to be e teenage pregnancy as Strauss was born in 1959 and Aaron 1965 and I don't want an age gap that big, not that I have anything against it but yeah🤷🏻‍♀️) -reader has a good relationship with Erin, even with her drinking problems (which are in the past) - reader and Aaron have been seeing each other for a while now and he doesn't know readers is Strauss' daughter. -one day reader and Strauss decide to have dinner together and to introduce Aaron to Erin, but Erin also wants to introduce Rossi to her only child, with whom she still has a good relationship -they are going to have dinner at readers Hose, but Erin shows up with Rossi -Neither Hotch, not Rossi knew that Hotch was seeing Strauss' daughter and Rossi Strauss even though they are best friends -there's a bot of tension and Strauss has to accept the relationship, but threatens Aaron; 'If you hurt her I have you fired blah, blah, but they end up having a good dinner together and then all 4 watch a movie and the respective couples cuddle🤷🏻‍♀️😇

Word Count: 430

Author: Charlotte

Dinner with your mother was normally a tense affair. You got along with her well, but it often felt like a job interview than dinner with a parent. Tonight, was only going to be worse. You had been in a serious relationship for about six months, and you hadn’t introduced him to your mother yet- partially due to knowing no one would be good enough for her daughter, but mainly because they already knew each other.

When you first met Aaron, you knew he worked in the FBI, but it wasn’t until a couple of months into the relationship that you found out he works in the BAU, where your mother was section chief. You had already started falling for him and you didn’t want your mother to get in the way of another relationship but there was only so much time you could spend hiding the fact that they had this personal connection.

You had called your mother to invite her over for dinner to meet your boyfriend and she suggested that she invited her new boyfriend so the four of you could all be introduced. You felt bad for the poor guy that he was getting roped into this likely terrible dinner.

Aaron arrived first, assuring you that everything would be fine, ignoring the fact that you had practically chugged your glass of wine, to try and numb the anxiety.

When the doorbell rung, it felt as though your heart jumped up into your throat. Aaron gave your hand a gentle squeeze before practically dragging you to the front door, opening it to your demise.

Your mum’s mouth opened, the words lost to her as she stared, baffled by the people she saw.

“Aaron?” She demanded.

“Erin?”

“David?” You questioned.

“Y/N.”

The four of you stood staring at each other, three FBI agents and the scared woman that had arranged the dinner.

“Mum, come in,” you squeaked, scurrying from Aaron’s side, hoping that if you didn’t look at your mother, she wouldn’t implode.

“You’re with Aaron Hotchner?” Your mother shouted after you.

You let out the breath you had been holding. “Evidently. And you’re with David Rossi… it’s a small world… or a small office.”

You heard David whisper something, likely to try and calm your mother, before someone offloaded the weapon that you knew all three of them practically always had on them.

“Y/N,” David smiled. “Why don’t we grab some wine for us all, and leave these two to get… for the lack of better words… acquainted?”

A nervous grin curled upon your lips. “Perfect idea.”

[andipxndy-writes]

meet the writer: aj

(a.k.a. my writeblr intro, done properly)

heya!! i’ve had this blog for a while now, but i realised i haven’t ever actually done a proper intro on here, so here it is!! (also did i want the opportunity to make an aesthetic of myself??? absolutely. image made in canva and portrait on the left is from picrew, all other images were taken from unsplash)

my name is aj (she/her pronouns pls)!! i’m 26, black, and i live in the uk. i graduated from uni 3 years ago and currently work in lab admin, but i’ve been doing creative writing for 10+ years!! i’m currently trying to get back into reading by reading a book a month (i usually share the book i’m reading in the sidebar of my main blog, which i follow back with as this blog is a sideblog: @andipxndy), and i write a variety of fanfiction and original works (both based off my own characters and those i currently/have rp’d with in the past). i also take requests for fanfiction, which you can read about below the cut or in this post (i’ve made some changes which mean the post is not relevant atm)!! but in general i love being asked questions about my WIPs and my characters and basically any characters i write, because i love delving into character thoughts and doing character development (so please send me some!!).

this blog started off as a way for me to share my fanfiction writing, which is how i got into writing in the first place and how i came to love it, but now i’m wanting to expand some more share/talk about some of my original works too!! i write ya sci-fi in my original stuff, but i’m known to drift into romance, action-comedy and crime when it comes to fanfiction works. i’m also over on ao3 as andipxndy.

my main fanfic writing fandoms are abbott elementary and alex rider, just to keep things managable, but i also enjoy watching ncis, criminal minds and lockwood & co., and sometimes dive back into old favourite animes (k-on!! is my current anime obsession). i may be slow to write or respond to stuff but i DO enjoy diving into discussing fandom stuff too!! i also like playing video games like sims 4 (ea is a money grab pass it on) and cities skylines, and enjoy dnd and rping with friends!!

before this intro gets too long, here are my main WIPs:

power play (1st draft completed, left to stew)

the first original wip i planned, the story is intended to be part of a 5-book series about a 20-year-old who accidentally gives himself powers, and ends up drawn into the science underground whilst trying to save people that he may or may not have also accidentally given powers. and all whilst trying to appear completely normal to his mum and get a summer job whilst home from university.

the crossover (still working on 1st draft, is my main/november nano project)

this is an adaptation of an old rp au i had with one of my closest friends, adjusted to have new, original characters despite the same plotline. it follows a 17-year-old girl as she’s accidentally transported into a parallel universe, where her parents aren’t her parents and she doesn’t exist. in an attempt to get home, she ends up crossing paths with the people who are meant to be her family, and finds out that they’re all superheroes. insert drama and shenanigans here.

the rich life: a modern bourgeoise au (working on 1st draft, is my camp nano project)

a passion project that i’m completing for my rp partners, this au is split into a 3-book series following the lives of our characters in the upper class, those who work for them, and eventually their children, going through the drama of their lives and how they try so hard not to have it all end up in the press. that obviously doesn’t work.

fanfiction fics and requests (ongoing but this is technically a wip)

technically counts as a wip as i have a backlog of fics in progress to write and share for requesters (and some ideas i’ve had myself), but these are mainly either alex rider or abbott elementary fanfics that have been sent in via ask. you can see extra info below the cut after the next paragraph. my requests are currently closed, and i’m working through my backlog. the request(s) active for the forseeable future are:

will you be my maybe? - an abbott elementary fanfiction (gregory x janine - injury + fake dating)

anyway, this is all i’ve got for now!! i do take part in things like nanowrimo and camp nanowrimo, so if anyone takes part in those too i look forward to writing alongside you!! other than that, that’s about it!! i’ll be sharing snippets of my work, and maybe eventually you’ll even get aesthetics eventually!! i’ve you’ve read this far, i applaud you, but thank you so much for reading!! i’d love to get to know more writers on here, both inside and outside of fandom spaces, so please feel free to jump at me and send me asks and messages and stuff!!

~ aj xxx

(for more info on fanfiction stuff, read below the cut:)

i’ve been writing fanfiction for over 10 years, and as something so dear to my heart i can’t let it go - it’s helped me to develop my writing and character development skills!! i have, however, grown in the fandoms i write, so please see below for more info:

I WRITE FOR:

alex rider

abbot elementary (more specifically, gregory x janine. i ship only those two. with my whole heart.)

fics getting to know my original characters (oneshots)

(i realise that this is significantly cut down, but i have other projects in mind that require more of my time and can no longer spend as much time on requests!! for this, i apologise!!)

GENRES WRITTEN (not completely restricted):

family/friendship

romance

hurt/comfort

action/adventure

IMPORTANT TO NOTE:

MY REQUESTS ARE NOW CLOSED

all fanfics will be cross-posted to ao3

please give me up to a month to get fics written and posted - if not done within a month, feel free to message me about it [please DO NOT pester me about it] - i work and am also writing original things, so do not always have the time

i preferably write oneshots, though the occasional multi-chap will appear - a fic ends up longer, well, it happens 🤷🏾‍♀️

i am a rambler so you are almost always guaranteed a longer fic

please try not to give me word count limits or specifications on fics - they are discouraging

that being said, any writing requests/prompts fulfilled will most likely be 20k words or less (though they may be longer if the inspiration strikes, don’t hold me to it)

i do not write smut, or any nsfw other than possibly gore/torture/violence. this is a personal preference and i will not change my stance on it

if you have any triggers that you do not want included in the fic, please message me and inform me of this

i have a ko-fi! if you would like to tip/donate to me for any of my writings, check it out here

all fics may or may not include a level of humour/sarcasm - i’m not sorry for this

[bag-for-life]

Semi-coherent self indulgent ramble about Edinburgh below, mostly because I forget things if I don’t record them somewhere - feel free to ignore…

- Within 10 minutes of getting off the train we spotted David O’Doherty, the first show we were seeing that night, I too loudly whispered ‘look, David O’Doherty, green bike helmet, oh my god’ and was instantly ashamed at having so little cool about that stuff although he either didn’t hear me or just convincingly acted that way - his show was fantastic, one of my favourites, I will always be excited to hear his ‘beefs’ song - shortly after the show while I was at the bar my friend saw him walk past with Josie Long, I was pretty relieved as I’m sure I would have started crying as I told her how much I loved her book

- Show 2: Frank Skinner, I wasn’t sure about this when we booked it, the audience demographic changed massively and it was a huge shift from lovely DO’D, he definitely flirted with some more ‘old school’ stuff about brexit but then moved away from the obvious jokes, enjoyable but not so much my thing, Russell Howard and David Baddiel were in the audience taking the comedian count up to 4

- Show 3: Simon Amstell was the last show of day 1 - very much a work in progress but enjoyed it, different again from the first 2 shows, we were talking to some people the next day who said they had seen him a few years ago and would never go again as he was so self involved, couldn’t argue with that so I suppose it comes down to if you like him in the first place?

- Day 2, show 1 was Daniel Kitson - just wonderful, he makes its look so easy, hard to talk about without going into the premise but so far removed from the work in progress show earlier in the year and I can’t wait to see it again once it’s ‘complete’

- Show 2: Tarot, another work in progress - I absolutely love them and was cackling like an idiot for the whole thing and can’t wait to see finished show, was accidentally too enthusiastic and got pulled into some very mild audience participation regarding Mr Blobby (and my brain just can’t do audience participation) pretty sure my response was shite but it didn’t even dent how much I loved it

- Show 3: Stuart Goldsmith - bang on the front row (at the side at least) good lord he has VERY twinkly eyes… also I think the first proper ‘themed’ show we saw, good but very strong competition based on earlier shows of the day

- Show 4: Last minute scarper to the next street over to see Stuart Laws, the first show where I hadn’t seen them before either live or on TV, great visual gag fairly early on. Really enjoyed it, more low quality audience participation from myself… decision taken not to sit on the front row again if I could help it

- Show 5: Nish Kumar was brilliant and I could have listened to him screaming about the government all night, also the loudest audience of the weekend and everyone in the room loved him. Ed Gamble was in the crowd and got some stick which was fun, it was billed as a work in progress but I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was unplanned and he just ranted for the whole hour

- Last show was an ‘All Stars’ show at the Udderbelly, booked mainly because we couldn’t get to see Chloe Petts’ main show - she was fantastic obviously - also loved Lara Ricote

- Day 3, show 1: Ed Gamble, brings out the mum vibes in me despite only being 5 years younger, I find myself thinking he’s a lovely young man, and so handsome too etc He was very funny despite the smell in the venue and the actual children in the crowd, have tickets for the tour next year and am hoping to see him walk onstage wearing his camping trousers

- Show 2: The same stinking venue (Hive 1) for Alison Spittle who took the step of spraying air freshener around the room, great segment where she made assumptions about people’s lives based on their favourite soups, the show was a last minute booking but fantastic

-Show 3: Paul Merton’s Impro Pals, we booked this based on our shared childhood love of watching him on Have I Got News For You, the friendly posh lady we sat next to told us she didn’t like it when comedy was political so we decided not mention how much we enjoyed Nish…it was fun but very ‘lite’ and we were ready to get shouted at by an angry Scottish man

- Show 4: Frankie Boyle, lots of shouting and calling people cunts, lots of his psychotic giggle, couple of what appeared to be walk outs but who knows really, he only heckled the blokes leaving the room which was interesting, took the Prince Andrew is a nonce joke count up by about 100 and loads of fun stuff about the royals which I enjoyed

- Show 5: Buffy Revamped - the only non-stand up show we saw but it was great fun, crowd was full of very enthusiastic people and some VERY drunk people but he handled them expertly

- Show 6: Ivo Graham - pretty chaotic and I’m not sure if it was because it started late or if that’s just the show/the man, regardless it was really fun and had a great audience participation angle that would have worked really really well if the show was extended over a couple of hours, still a great last show of the weekend

This was my first trip to Edinburgh and it was amazing, the bad stuff I had prepared for wasn’t as bad as expected (the crowds, the queuing etc) although it was obviously expensive and I doubt I could afford it every year, also it totally fried my brain so I’m spending the next week indoors and not talking to any other humans as much as possible

Disappointed not to have spotted a wild Watto and also guilty we couldn’t fit his show in, but I am going to see Search next month and have his book on pre-order so I hope that balances things out in the long-run (see also John Robins but with Howl later in the year and without the book) and I didn’t give up hope of a no more jockeys show until ludicrously late into the weekend

I think our comedian spotting skills were fairly poor - we also saw Paul Chowdry and Paul Williams (separately) out and about and then Amy Annette walking down the street with Nish and Ed after Nish’s show, but that’s it

Thus ends my ramble - pics of the stages etc on my equally ‘not of much interest to anyone but me’ shows I’ve been to blog @mylifeintickets

[hoperays-song]

The Gang In My Continuation Fic Explained

Most of these are based on how I read into the characters in both movies so clearly they are personal interpretation, you don’t have to agree with them. I hope you enjoy tho!

--------------------------

Marcus:

- Comes across as intimidating a lot mainly due to his appearance.

- Is actually a really nice guy, just typically really stressed out worrying about his kid (now kids), brothers, and their finances. He’s a bit silly in nature and protective, he loves taking care of others in any way he can.

- Has relaxed a lot after Sing 1 due to their debt being paid off (thanks Nana) and is mainly just focused on making sure his kids are happy and safe.

- Very much family oriented and spends pretty much every single moment of his day with his family. He doesn’t really feel the need to expand his social circle past this radius either, he just wants to be with his family.

- Decently overprotective of Johnny due to his mum dying when he was young (and him being his last piece of her) as well as Johnny’s struggles with both his health and social life as a child. He constantly is worried about his son and if he’s ok and happy, sometimes being overbearing without meaning to. He just wants his son to have a good life.

- He will primarily show affection in form of Acts of Service and Quality Time, but uses a lot of Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch (hugs, hair ruffling, forehead kisses) with his kids.

- Was disowned formally when he was 24 but had always had a horrible relationship with his birth family. He changed his name to Marcus when that happened.

- Out of the gang, he’s the mediator. He’s the bridge between Stan’s chaos and impulsivity and Barry’s bluntness and cool nature. He typically ends up settling their arguments and only propsed the idea of the gang out of necessity.

- Came out as Demisexual after doing research to support Johnny (who identifies as a Demiboy).

- Had a punk phase growing up which is wear his jacket (that’s now Johnny’s) originates.

- ADHD and struggles a lot with abandonment issues as well as rejection sensitive dysphoria. He is now in therapy though.

- Within the troupe, he’s closet to Rosita and Norman, mainly due to them taking care of Johnny while he was in jail as his son’s foster parents but also because of their more calm nature.

- The best way to describe him is: stressed, worried, and slightly overprotective dad.

-----------

Stan:

- Basically looks like a (very slightly) chiller version of a party loving college student.

- He’s always full of energy and down for whatever, even if it’s a bad idea. Very much a daredevil and adrenaline junkie, he’s never really been one for rules and is a trailblazer of his own path in life.

- A bit more obviously fun-loving compared to how he was in Sing 1 now, due to his debts being paid off (thanks again Nana) and his family’s relationships being on the mend.

- Spends a lot of times with his brothers and family, as well as being  the social butterfly of the group and actually having a fair number of friends outside of it he hangs out with.

- Like Marcus, he is also a bit overprotective of Johnny (though definitely less than his older brother). However, he does also enjoy teasing Johnny constantly.

- Primarily shows affection to everyone through Quality Time and Gift Giving, even though the gifts are typically junk food that Marcus has banned from the garage for Johnny’s health apparently (Johnny and Barry appreciate these gifts).

- Was never close with his birth family and cut off contact when he was 20 to go to college with Barry, who had been his neighbor growing up and who he had considered his baby brother.

- Out of the gang, he’s the energy. He always wants to do something and is pretty impulsive. He was onboard with the robberies from the start and did bicker with Barry about wether or not they were nessicary for a while.

- Deliberately unlabeled about his sexuality and a huge supporter to his family when they came out.

- Still dresses like a university student with a lot of jerseys and a thrifted letterman as his style hasn’t changed since uni.

- ADHD and struggles with sudden changes in routine and rejection sensitive dysphoria. He is also in therapy now.

- When he met the theatre adults for the first time, he became fast friends with Gunter due to their similar personalities, but he is also decently friendly with Buster as well.

- The best way to describe him is: fun-loving, teasing, and energetic uncle.

-----------

Barry:

- Comes off as rude a lot due to how quiet he is and very few facial expressions in public.

- While he is very blunt in both nature and speech, Barry is very passionate about things, just isn’t one to use a lot of things to express that. He is also highly intelligent and is on track to get his doctorate degree.

- He has started to focus more on getting his degree compared to Sing 1, now that he has time since he isn’t constantly working due to debt (Nana is a godssend).

- Prefers to spend any time he’s not with his family alone, is the exact opposite of Stan in this case. However, this rule is a way to see if Barry considers a person family as he does not really see people as friends. They’re either family or strangers.

- He is somewhere in-between Marcus and Stan’s levels of overprotectiveness of Johnny. He is the closest to Johnny out of him and Stan and has been the boy’s confidant since he was little, so he typically knows more about the situations that the other two. He does also join Stan in teasing Johnny though.

- Primarily shows affection through Quality time, particulary in the form of body doubling. The only exception to this rule is Johnny (who he does have a soft spot for) and will occasionally use Words of Affirmation or Physical Touch (mainly short hugs).

- Was raised in a group house in foster care and never really connected with anyone there. Has no contact with anyone from his birth family either.

- Out of the gang, he’s the voice of reason. he protested the robberies in the first place and was the one to insist on them learning medical training first. He’s the direct contrast to Stan.

- Has been out as bisexual since grade school and was bullied for it for awhile before Stan stepped in. Was the first to put together that Johnny was gay and supported him.

- Was the quiet kid throughout school and still dresses in a lot of his old hoodies (the others now belong to Johnny as they are the closest in size).

- Autism and can go mute at times. He struggles a lot with social cues and social norms, typically needing Stan to interpret, and overstimulation as well. He is also in therapy.

- Unsuprisingly to his family, he isn’t really close to any adult member of the troupe. He’s always struggled with connecting with people. However, he is fond of Rosita due to how much she helped Johnny while they were in jail and will occasionally play games online with Eddie.

- The best way to describe him is: blunt, straight-forward, and protective uncle.

[mamafaithful]

Things on For you page on most sites today talking about triggers and how to avoid or mitigate the damage from them. Especially if they pertain to past abuse situations.

I've talked to therapists and chaplaincy, who seem to all stand on an equal position with these posts, but they always talk about "bad" triggers.

○ Large men shouting at you, avoidable.

○ Medium-sized men, named James/Jamie, loudly shouting around you at small children. Extremely niche. It's mainly unavoidable if I want to stay a scout leader. James is a popular name for my age bracket, to be heard over a horde of children one must shout the games directions in a loud clear manner that all 4/5 year olds will understand while running around the hall practicing their North East South West.

No one prepared me for "good" triggers

> someone being nice to me - bawling my eyes out in a public rest room

> had spasm during sex (with a one night stand) he was fucking helpful and kind, was worried about my health which wasn't the normal reaction I'd get with ex husband - which caused me to have a panic attack, so I got my stuff, got in my car, drove to sainsbury's, got ice cream even though I'm intolerant to that shit and went to my mums where I proceeded to rant to my mum while angrily eating ice cream.

> My new boyfriends friend helped me through a pots episode while im throwing up, and we're both drunk in a club's disabled loo. She's also asking my intentions with her friend and being so sweet when I say I'm scared that i really like them but im broken and i dont wanna be too much. - leads to a panic attack where my pots then sets off the alcohol, proceeds to throw up more. - club bouncer wants to use the loo so they're shouting, and she's shouting, causing me to then shut down. <- This ended with me overthinking all of today because: I worried the boyfriend because I wasn't warming up or very responsive this morning, so he barely got any sleep, making sure I was okay. I'm scared it'll scare him off. Or I'll scare him off. What do his friends think of me. Their night got cut short, having to deal with a drunk 31 year old unable to deal with a bleeding temperature change. (They are all young 20 somethings). Like I'm waiting for someone to be mean, I can deal with that, they're all being so nice and it scares me and I don't know how to explain even if I know they'll understand (we are all chronic oversharers).

So if you've even seen this. Let alone read it. If you've suffered from abuse, what's triggered your trauma flight response that you didn't expect to trigger it. You can keep it vague or overshare. I'm just curious.