#mainly feelings of anguish for what i could not do as an adult re: her | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frengles · 22 days

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im not sure what to do with these feelings mainly because they are not novel or fun or interesting to me and my brain wants to try out the strategy of waiting them out and seeing if maybe they vanish. i am sure this has worked out well for every other human on this earth that has tried out this plan

#i am trying to write something about it but everything i write feels not enough and also too naked and bare #i dont want to rehash the boo hoo horrible mommy and it feels like there is something beyond this that my brain is latching onto.#mainly feelings of anguish for what i could not do as an adult re: her #i had hoped that some day i would come to feel able to reach out to her again and that we could come to some sort of peace #instead. no.#and what is that?#what do you do with that?#so many people on this earth do not get their peace but i thought maybe it would come back for me without my having to do anything just #because.#just because.#you know.#this is such a mirror of the way we were separated i just came home one day and was told i wouldn't see her anymore #and now one day i came home and was told she was dead.#FUCK!

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