#mainly cos my girlfriend and i had such a busy day with a bunch of friends

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 356

Adjective: Recondite

Noun: Shard

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Recondite: (of a subject or knowledge) little known, or abstruse

Shard: a piece of broken ceramic, metal, glass, or rock, typically having sharp edges

[cali-holland]

Teenage Love Story, Part Five- S.M.

Pairing: Shawn Mendes X Reader

Prompt: Shawn writes his own version of "Lover” for you, a.k.a an extension of part four mainly from Shawn’s point of view.

Word Count: 2500

Previous Parts: Teaser   One   Two   Three   Four

Warnings: lil bit of sexual jokes if you squint

Based on: Lover (Remix) by Taylor Swift ft. Shawn Mendes

A/N: Here’s the fifth part no one expected six months later...

~~~

August 2019

Shawn couldn’t help himself as he paced nervously in his hotel room. He had just finished his show in Boston, and he should be filled with exhilarating adrenaline; instead, he was overcome by nerves. 

He found himself in a catch 22 of sorts- Taylor had just released a new song, Lover, and he knew that you wrote a good amount of that track, but he missed you and he knew the song would only make the pain in his heart grow. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to listen to it, if he could even bring himself to listen to it. It was supposed to be your song, your love ballad to him; and he knew it must be good if Taylor released it as a single. Who was he kidding- he thought every song you wrote was good.

“It’s just a song.” Shawn whispered to himself as he played with the phone in his hands, “I’ve listened to all of Y/N’s songs. This isn’t any different.” He kept talking to himself, shaking his head as he tried to reach a decision. “That’s it. I’m going to do it.”

Sighing, he laid down on the bed and opened up Spotify. Of course, it was advertised at the top of his phone: “Taylor Swift’s new single, Lover, out now”. He began the song and listened intently.

“We could leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January,

This our place, we make the rules,

And there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear,

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?” Shawn let out a heartbroken laugh, remembering back to that day that he first read through your journal. He knew it was private, but he just desperately wanted to know. That was the day he gave you that promise ring and promised to always be yours. 

As the song continued on, Shawn felt his eyes begin to sting with tears. Defeated, he stared up at the ceiling, longing to hold you again.

“And I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you,

I’ve loved your three summers now, honey, but I want ‘em all,” He didn’t need to even think about whether it was you or Taylor who wrote that line; he knew it was you. He saw that in your journal as well, and he had told himself he wanted all of your summers too; yet, here he was, spending his first summer without you in years.

As the song ended, Shawn put it on repeat and just stayed there, crying alone in his hotel room. If anyone were to walk in, he doubted that he could even bring himself to be embarrassed of his current; his head was filled with thoughts of you. He just wanted you and only you.

He wiped away his tears and looked at his phone clearly for the first time since he first heard the song. Spotify had credited you as a co-writer of the song. Shawn smiled fondly, glad that you finally took credit for your song-writing talent. He found himself reading over your past text messages to each other from all those months ago. You were so in love back then. He wanted to reach out, to tell you he loved the song, to say that he was proud of you, to apologize for hurting you.

But he couldn’t. He thought maybe you had moved on, maybe you had found someone better than him. He knew that you deserve the best and he highly doubted that he was the best for you.

Abandoning his hopeless scroll through the text messages, he began to go through his photos. He didn’t think it would make him feel any better, but that bittersweet feeling of reminiscing was all he could get at that moment. Photos of your time together was the closest he could get to you.

He had an album titled “Lover” that he had started while you were still together. While the pictures and videos were all out of order, he still admired it. You found it cheesy but embarrassing as he had some pretty questionable photos of you saved in there. You’d never admit it to him, but you adored it.

The very first picture was the first one of the two of you. It was of you two backstage of the 1989 tour; you were sat in Shawn’s lap and he had his hands over yours as he showed you how to play one of his songs on guitar. Taylor had taken that picture, and she was so proud of her matchmaking work. At that point, you and Shawn had been dating for a little under a month. He loved that photo so much that it was still framed on the wall in his house.

One of his favorite photos was of the two of you dressed as Jack and Rose from The Titanic for Halloween, when Shawn managed to come visit you for the holiday while you were away at college. You had both agreed to do a couple’s costume, and the idea of using The Titanic came from a movie marathon the night before. You watched everything from that to Dirty Dancing to Mamma Mia. Shawn felt himself starting to blush thinking back to that night- you two definitely focused more on each other than the actual movies. 

Next, he found a video from your three year anniversary when he surprised you with a candle lit dinner. As if that wasn’t romantic enough, the two of you danced around in the kitchen all night. Shawn had taken a short video of you singing “Let’s Get It On” to him, “C’mon baby, let your love come out, if you believe in love, let’s get it on”. He dropped his video at the end because you pulled him in for a heated kiss, and in that moment he couldn’t care less about his phone. 

His favorite picture of the two of you came up next. It was a simple photograph of Shawn kissing outside of your college townhouse. Sitting on the top step of the stoop, you were looking down at Shawn, who was sitting between your legs. He remembered it was definitely an awkward angle for a kiss, as his head was practically upside down, but that was one of the moments in which wanting to kiss you outweighed all other discomforts. Connor had taken that picture of the two of you, and Shawn kept it as his phone lock screen until you broke up. 

Following a string of goofy selfies taken between you two, Shawn found a video of you. You had secretly recorded it on his phone before he left for tour, knowing that he’d find it under his special photo album.

“Hey, honey,” You smiled into the camera, “If you’ve found this video, that means you’re going through old pictures of us and you’re missing me. I’m missing you too. I don’t know where you’ll be when you see this, but have a great time on tour. I’m sorry I couldn’t join you, just don’t go getting yourself any groupies,” You teased, “I’m counting down the days until I get to see you again. I love you, Shawn.” You blew a kiss into the camera before the video ended.

He let out a shaky breath and set his phone aside. Sniffling, he went and grabbed his guitar, deciding he should probably take some time to work out his feelings, rather than just wallowing in his self-pity.

No matter what melody he attempted to play, he just came back to the chords of “Lover”. Shawn ran a hand through his hair and began to play the song to himself.

“We could light a bunch of candles,

And dance around the kitchen, baby,

Pictures of when we were young would hang on the wall,

We would sit on the stoop,

I’ll sing love songs to you when we’re eighty,

See, I finally got you now, honey, I won’t let you fall,” He paused, realizing the lyrics weren’t the words you had written. Quickly grabbing his notebook, Shawn wrote down the lyrics, wanting to hold onto them in case some opportunity presented itself to use them later on. He continued playing, using your lyrics for inspiration,

“Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth,

The girl in my story has always been you

I’d go down with the Titanic, it’s true, for you, lover,”

Shawn added the new lyrics into his journal, his fingers tracing the words. He set aside the guitar and journal, knowing it was probably well past time for him to go to sleep. With an early flight tomorrow morning and the alarm clock informing him that it was now 1 AM, he decided it would be a good idea to get some rest. Lying down in bed, Shawn drifted off to sleep with thoughts of you.

~~~

November 2019

Making his way through the busy airport, Shawn was the happiest he had been in a long while. A large smile grew on his face as he saw you waiting for him by the baggage claim. He ran up to you and engulfed you in a large hug. Holding you tightly, he spun you around as you laughed.

“God, I’ve missed you so much.” Shawn said, setting you down and keeping his arms around your waist.

“I’ve missed you too.” You barely managed to get your words out before he kissed you passionately. You let out a small moan and pulled away from the kiss for a moment, “Shawn, paparazzi.”

“I think I’m completely justified in kissing my girlfriend.” He stated, letting go of your hips to hold your hand.

“You are, but I’d rather not give the paparazzi exactly what they want.” You teased.

“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it.” Shawn joked with a wink, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. Soon enough, the bags began to surface from the plane, and Shawn grabbed his luggage, ready to leave the airport. You held tightly onto Shawn’s hand as you left the airport, escorted by Shawn’s small security team through the swarm of paparazzi. 

Once back in the safety of your townhouse, you and Shawn found yourselves cuddling on your bed as Shawn was exhausted from his day of traveling. With your head resting on his chest, you listened to the sound of his heartbeat; his hands trailed up and down your back soothingly. The serene moment was disrupted by Shawn’s phone ringing.

“Needed already?” You teased as he shuffled slightly underneath you to answer his phone.

“They never let me rest.” Shawn joked, answering the call. You shifted to rest your head on his bicep so it’d be easier for him to speak. “Hello?”

“Hey, Shawn,” Your ears perked up from hearing your sister’s voice on the other line. Shawn looked down at you as you raised your eyebrows questioningly at him.

“Taylor, what’s up?” He asked, trying to inconspicuously turn down the volume. You felt his heartbeat speed up and you knew he was trying to hide something about the phone call from you. You couldn’t make out what your sister told him, but he replied back with a few ‘yeah's' and ‘that’d be incredible’. He hung up the phone and peered over at you, as you watched him expectantly.

“So, what did Taylor want?” You questioned.

“We may or may not have made a collaboration.” Shawn replied.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yep.” He nodded, his fingers finding yours. He was nervous about something, which only made you more curious. You were about to press further, when his stomach let out a large growl.

“Have you not eaten at all today or something?”

“I think I had a bagel mid-flight.” Shawn said. You sat up and pulled him up with you.

“You need to eat, come on.” You stated, now distracted by making sure your boyfriend was fed. As you got him together some leftovers for lunch, he began to play music. You let out a laugh as Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” began to play.

“Remember when I surprised you for our three year?” Shawn asked, his hands on your hips as he swayed softly to the music. He began to press light kisses to your neck.

“Remember how you almost burned your hand with a candle?” You teased.

“Hm, I must’ve blocked that out.” He laughed, giving you a kiss on your lips before going back to focusing on your neck.

“Shawn, why are you being so touchy, right now?” You couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a giggle as his stubble tickled your sensitive neck.

“I just really love you.” He replied.

“I love you too, Shawn.” You lightly pushed him away as the microwave finished. You handed him his plate of food, telling him to eat. He ate the food so quickly, you would have thought that he hadn’t eaten in a week.

“So, what’s this collaboration with Taylor all about? I hope you know that you’re an awful liar.” You said.

“Well, I wanted to surprise you.” Shawn answered, “But I have a feeling you won’t let this drop.” “You know me so well.” You smiled.

“Come here,” Shawn led you to your living room and you sat on the couch while he grabbed one of your guitars. He went into ‘performance mode’, as you liked to call it. He teased, “I’d like to dedicate this next song to my lover.”

You laughed and clapped along in encouragement. You softly smiled as he began to play the beginning of “Lover”. He sang the first verse, and you grew a little confused; he was simply singing your song. As much as you loved it, it felt like a cover. That was until he got to the second verse. You felt overwhelmed with emotions as he adjusted the lyrics to fit with his own memories of your relationship. By the end of the song, you had tears in your eyes, feeling nothing but love for your boyfriend.

“Did you like it?” Shawn asked, putting down the guitar.

“I love it.” You smiled, pulling him in for a kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I’m so glad you like it. I was nervous because you already made the song so perfect. I wanted to write you my own love letter through it. You deserve the best, so that’s all I could hope for.” You cut him off with another kiss, effectively stopping his worried rambling.

“That’s the most thoughtful, beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. And Shawn, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me too.” It was then that Shawn true happiness, in the arms of you, his lover.

[datingadviceonreddit]

X-post from r/datingoverthirtyThis is gonna be stupid long but I would appreciate any advice. I am also an overthinker, so I might digress on certain details.Backstory: So it's been about 5 years since I had a real relationship. Im 32 now and think I'm ready to start this whole stupid thing called dating lol. My previous relationship.. We dated for about 4 years, were good friends/co-workers for years before that. All in all it was an ok relationship. We hung out alot, did stuff together like go out to dinner alot, watched movies and TV together, had sex here and there, both sides of parents liked the other person, she did convince me to change my college major to something I had more interest into. The bad parts were she was very verbally abusive like never appreciated things I did for her, would look down on me for stupid stuff, and she hated most of my friends for some reason. I'm pretty sure she was just a closeted bipolar introvert 🤣 Near the end of our relationship we would fight on and off about little things. It finally came to an end when she lost her job because the company went out of business, she didn't like living at her parents anymore and wanted to move out of state. Myself at the time had my own apartment and a steady job. It got to the point where she decided to move out of state and tell me literally the day before she was moving. Before I knew of her plans, That night she came over, we had dinner, watched a movie and had sex, then she dropped the bomb on me. I told her if she was absolutely committed to our relationship I would have really considered moving with her. The company I worked for was nationwide so that wouldn't have been an issue. That was met with a "no thanks, I dont see that happening" and she pretty much left my apt after that and we never spoke again except for some happy birthday texts and short small talk texts a year later. Nothing was ever resolved in a closure type way. The only thing that I know now is that she married some guy down where she lives like a year and a half after our breakup. Im thinking she may cheated on me near the end, but never admitted to it. I had severe depression for about 2-3 years after that. I just basically put it in my head that she died and focused on work and hanging out with friends and going out to the bar and just having fun. I Just had a fuck bitches, get money attitude. Work, have fun, get drunk alot, repeat. There's been a couple girls since then that I have hung out with a few times, mainly Friends of Friends, one one night stand from a bar, may be hooked up with them a few times but nothing of substance. They all seem to have issues, I had the foresight to see at least they would be terrible in a relationship. Those interactions ended as soon as they started because they were crazy. Over the years being in sales help me develop a confidence to talk to almost anybody. I think I can start a conversation pretty well, carry a conversation, I think I'm pretty intelligent and have interesting things to talk about, have interest in many many topics. I do joke around but it's usually like sarcasm and topic based humor. I think I can be complimentative and charming when need be. Now my downfall is that I live by the expectation of a false sense that people will always do the right thing and be responsible and being someone who I can count on. Because I overthink sometimes I create a perception of an interest and it doesn't turn out to meet that expectation. I am also brutally honest at times when I shouldn't be. I run my mouth to get my way sometimes. I think it's related to being aggressive in my previous sales job. I've recognized this and I'm still working on it.Current situation:I frequent this bar a few blocks from my house. I've been going there on and off for about the last 6 years. It's the type of place that I usually go to like Friday and Saturday nights, there's people around my age and they play good music have a good food and drink specials. Usually go there with a group of friends as well whenever we feel like going out, any day of the week. I'm friends with the managers and about 80% of the staff, bullshit around with the owner bunch of times. The owner has directly told me that me and my group of friends are like family there and if we need anything to let him know anytime. Soo..There is a new girl (29 yrs old) that's been working there for about 3 months and I think she's pretty damn cute but never worked up the balls to talk to her. One night going there with my group of friends, it turns out my best friend's brother-in-law came with us. He knew her from back in the day and started catching up. To protect their identity, We'll call him umm 'James' and new girl 'Ashley'. Me and James have hung out maybe about 15 times, I really wouldn't consider him to be a good friend but he's an alright dude to hang out with. We all started talking with her and we all become Facebook friends. About a week later, we are all hanging out having a bonfire, drinking, just having fun. After about midnight, everybody went to bed except for James and I. We were just talking and bullshiting, I mentioned that I had a crush on Ashley. He half joked, "let's text her and see if she'll come over". So he did and she responded and said she would come over for awhile. James kept joking with me saying she was coming over so he could bang her. James has a girlfriend, but they have one of those relationships where they fight, breakup and make up like every 3 weeks. Currently on the 'off week's as I put it. He was mostly bullshitting me to make me jealous. She comes over and we all just sat around the fire and We stayed up till 5 a.m. Just talking and having fun. No bullshit involved. Just talking about everything including how her ex cheated on her recently with a couple girls, how her friends flake on her and how she used to have an office job and only works at the bar because it's fun. After she went home, James stayed in the spare bedroom as I was driving him home the next day.Next time I saw her at the bar, I mentioned that we had fun and we should hang out again. She mentioned she had plans on the following Saturday to go to this other bar that was having a couple country bands playing. It used to be a bar that I would go to a lot in the past and liked. I wanted a chance to hang with her so I agreed to go with her. I didn't really look at it like a date because she told me to invite some friends as well.That Saturday rolls around and I'm excited to see her. We text back and forth about meeting up and taking Uber there because we will probably be drinking. We decide to meet at this bar that her roommate works at, 830 pm. She also mentions that she's had a cold and a small fever. She called me about 6 and says she still wants to go but to give her extra time to get ready and take some medicine. So we push meeting up to about 9. I get to our meeting point at 9 and wait for her, she is 15 minutes late. Whatever no big deal. She shows up in a dress and smelling amazing, I compliment her. I pay for the first to Uber to the bar we were going to. We get there around 9:30, just walk around and she occasionally stops and talks to some random people she knew from there a while back. Small Talk catching up but she included me in the conversation. She introduced me as a friend. We check out some of the band's music, grab a couple drinks, dance a little.. she was flirty in the general conversations we had and at one point was talking selfies of us. We alternated paying for rounds of drinks and shots, I was only kind of buzzed. I'm sure she was too, but I don't know her tolerance like I know mine.2am rolls around and we get Uber again on her phone because mine died, she said let's get food and hang out at my house. We pick up taco bell and take a 20 min Uber back to her place (very close to my house as well). We are sitting together in the back and after about 5 minutes, she lays on me and I put my arm around and just caress her arm. We get to her place, We eat and were hanging out and just listening to Pandora on her living room tv. Had maybe another beer there and just talking and occasionally dancing terribly. We got to one point where I was sitting on the couch and she was in the recliner next to it. I get up and pull her over to the couch, we talked for a minute and I felt it was right to try to kiss her. I gently grabbed her face and tried to pull her in for it. She backed away and said she didn't want a relationship and wasn't looking to hookup. I said ok, I'm sorry I just thought it felt right. I held her hand and just told her I wanted to show her a guy can take her out for a fun time and she deserves better.At right around this point, her roommate comes down for food or something and we just start shooting the shit about sports and stuff. Ashley is like I still don't feel good and I'm tired, takes some cold Medicine and tells me I can sleep on the couch. I was like you have a couple dogs and they are probably gonna bug me all night, I might just go home. Her roommate jokes that Ashley has a king size bed and that she should share. I don't think it was a push to hook her up or anything. Ashley says "yeah you can share the bed with me but no funny business". We go in the room and I want to be respectful. She was laying in plain clothes (t-shirt and jeans). I'm laying next to her on my stomach still in my clothes as well but wide awake. It's a dark room and maybe I felt invincible in what I was saying. I started joking with her that she couldn't fall asleep because I was wide awake. Then I said "I meant what I said earlier, you deserve better. Better friends, better relationships, a better job." I dont really know why I said it, but I always fall for broken girls and think I can fix them or make their life better. I still joked around and then asked if she reconsidered that funny business. She was like "what do you mean, we're not having sex". I said "no, nothing like that maybe just making out. I don't know, I'm half joking". She was like "no, I'm about to fall asleep" and did almost instantly. I laid there for about 20 minutes while she fell asleep. I was literally still wide awake and didn't want her to be weirded out with me in the morning. I order an Uber on my phone back to my car. Sober by now. The Uber arrives and I wake her up and tell her I'm just going to let her get sleep because she is sick. She walked me to the door and we hug. I said "I had fun tonight and I'm sorry for being forward earlier". She said "it's okay maybe I lead you on some how".I don't really worry too much about it except for the end of the night being sort of a creeper. Monday rolls around and the bar is having a birthday celebration for one of the older bartenders. I'm friends with her so naturally I go up after work (10pm ish) with my best friend, his wife, his brother I hang with alot ('Mark') and their cousin ('Andrew').We are watching Monday Night Football and having a couple drinks and just celebrating the whole birthday thing. Ashley is there with a friend of hers, I don't really say anything to her for awhile. She said hi to me in passing I took that chance to talk to her for a few minutes. Everything seemed okay. The staff there decided they wanted to close around 1 to go to the casino afterward for the bartenders birthday. They start closing down and Ashley started to help them with some cleaning. All the staff was almost ready to go, but they changed their mind on the casino and said they were going to a strip club that the bar owner had buddies that worked at and and asked if any of our friends wanted to go. I said no I don't have money for that, I'm just going home. The bar owner said "don't worry about that, they are only open for like another hour. Just bring your friends and I'll get you in for free and I'll buy some beer for you guys". My best friend and his wife went home because they were tired and had to work in the morning. I was off the next day so I agreed to go. Me, Mark, and Andrew went in Andrews car and met them there.So when we get in, it's my group I came with, the birthday bartender, 3 other bar staff members, the bar owner, Ashley and her friend. We just hang around at this table, drinking a couple beers, joking around, making paper airplanes out of a stack of dollars and shooting them at the girls there lol. Just good old fun. No one got lap dances or anything. They close like an hour or so after, Ashley offers for people to come to her house to hang out. Not really to party, just hang out or sober up or sleep.Everybody except for the bar owner and birthday girl go over to the house. We are all hanging out in this basement just having another drink, listening to music and talking. I don't really talk to Ashley, because I'm letting her do her host thing and I didn't want to bother her. I was also drunk as hell from doing shots and drinking beer and I didn't want to do or say something stupid. About 45 minutes, Somehow some of the guys that work at the strip club come over and thought it was a party. They showed up with a bunch of weed, cocaine and Hennessy and a stripper chick.At this point, the bar co-workers leave. I do a couple Henny shots with one of the dudes. Ashley asks me to come upstairs and talk real quick. She takes me in her room and asked who those people are and how they got the address. I said I don't know. She said "maybe I'm naive but I've never been in this situation. I don't know them and I don't want them here, will you help me get them out of here?" I said sure, I'll see what I can do. Literally at that moment, everyone is upstairs now in the living room. We hear a loud bang in the bathroom. There is my friend Mark basically blacked out in the bathroom and he pissed himself. I'm pissed off that I have to babysit him and embarrassed that Ashley had to deal with that. Andrew and I agreed that we should probably take Mark home. I'm moving Mark into the living room when I see Ashley hanging around the strip club guys. They had a plate with Coke lines on it. Ashley had the plate in her hand but handed it off to the guy and said I'm good for now. I'm thinking she was offered some and refused. In the process of Andrew and I getting mark out of the door to the car, Ashley starts being really obnoxious and anxious repeating herself and saying that we can all just stay there and it's ok. Andrew and Mark are outside by this point. I said no we're just leaving. She kept being really anxious and I asked her why are you so wound up and anxious. I look into her eyes and they're open really wide and she utters I just did some coke. Me being drunk, I almost over react because it's a jarring situation and she's told me she's only done it like twice in her life. The girl I like and have a crush on is doing drugs after asking me to help get rid of those type of people. I asked her if we could speak in private and she refused. She said she would text me tomorrow. I later found out she said she was feeling overwhelmed with the situation and that's why she did it. I gave her a really sarcastic 'have a good night' and left.We go back to my house and everyone goes to bed. I'm in my room and I'm fucking boiling pissed at this point. I think all the liquor hit me and I overreacted and I couldn't contain myself. I got on my phone and I texted her. I went on this mini rant about how I was disappointed in her and if she was going to do drugs I didn't want to know her. I told her that's not my life or scene, that my friends don't do shit like that. Also saying I was disgusted in her decisions and how I was pissed that she asked for my help and then basically did the opposite. That maybe I built up an image of her in my head and it was wrong. I fall asleep. I woke up around noon the next day to an essay long text with terrible grammar and no punctuation at all. She basically yelled back at me and shamed me for making her out to be a horrible person and that I don't know her or what she's been through. That she's never been in a situation like that and felt overwhelmed and that's why she asked for my help. But then even said I'm probably just overreacting because I was drunk. I text her back and apologize, run some damage control saying it was just coming from a good place. She then almost brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal, blaming it on that I was drunk and probably didn't get good sleep the night before.I don't talk to her for about 3 days and then see her at the bar when I went up there. That night she saw me only said hi and only that. I was going to try to talk to her but she left early and took another female co-worker home.I text her something to the effect of "do you still hate me? I just don't want you to think I'm a complete asshole. I really was only looking out for you..let's talk sometime". The next night I go up there with some friends to hang out. She's working again. She said hi to me, sorry I didn't reply to your text I wanted to but I was busy all day. I just pulled her into me and hugged her and said I'm sorry. We then had random conversations throughout the night for like a few minutes at a time. Not mentioning what happened but just talking about different things. The bar closes at 2 but my friends wanted to leave at 1 to go have a bonfire and drink at the house. I invite two of the bartenders that were off already earlier that I know back and Ashley. They all said yeah we'll come over after everybody gets out of here. Ashley said she was kind of tired but would probably come. 330am rolls around no one shows so I'm like whatever man, I tried. My best friend's wife and one of her friends Uber up to this 24-hour diner nearby while me and besty stay at the house. Guess who's up at the diner? Ashley with some other co-worker. Best friend's wife went up to her and said "I thought you were coming over". Ashley said no I'm tired and just wanted food. Have not seen or talked to her since then. The other two bartenders text me in the morning and apologized for not coming saying they were too drunk and went home. I'm ok with that.So anyways in talking with many of my friends about this. I've gained some perspective on what I want in a relationship. I know I want all the right things, to do the right thing and to have someone that will provide support I can count on. It's just hard not knowing if I should continue pursuing Ashley or to move on. I know I fucked up I overreacting to the situation earlier in the week. I just don't know how she feels about the entire thing. I find myself staring at her picture because she's so damn beautiful. She has cute tendencies and surprisingly is kind of shy. I just don't know if it's really being shy and there's so much more to learn, or if she is truly something like a drug addict and manipulative or or she's just a broken soul and I feel like I have to fix it. That's my overthinking issue. This shit stresses me out.Tl;dr: Ex was a shitty bitch that fucked me up and now I had a decent "date" with a new girl but drunkenly overreacted to a recent drug use. Wat do? via /r/dating_advice

[zouanor]

10

“My dad’s sick.”

It was the first time in just about three weeks that i’ve seen Niall (and for a good reason this time). It’s the first time in three weeks that I wasn’t put under the stress of being someone I wasn’t. It was the the first time that I was able to breathe and just relax, do my own thing without being scrutinized or have weird looks given to me.

It felt nice.

Once Niall’s family had finally left, we both went out to dinner. He both had thanked me and apologized for everything that was either said or looked upon. I understand though, he wanted to make it realistic as possible. But he was also right back weeks ago when he said I would be asking him to do the same thing with my Aunt. But my family didn’t meet Niall, only heard of his name or seen a picture or two on Instagram (even though they still believe he’s not real).

While I went back to work and focusing of Cissy’s wedding with Charlotte and spending time with Liam and Louis, Niall went back to school. From what I gathered, he had to focus on a big test and continue on with his senior thesis. As much as I would’ve liked to see him, I rather him focus on something like that than me. After all, he spent nearly a month trying to play the role of boyfriend, and has probably learned a little too much about me.

Or maybe he hasn’t at all and I just played everything off like he knew he did.

Whatever it was, I think the both of us were thankful it was over.

Hanging out today was actually Niall’s idea. He wanted me to come down to Sheffield and we’d just hang about there. He said that Harry and Alexa might join us, but he didn’t know exactly due to whatever they were planning amongst themselves. I was fine with either, because even if I couldn’t hang out with them now, there were more times that I could.

So there was the two of us walking around Graves park around noon-time. It was colder than normal, so when I say I looked like an eskimo, I really did. I had a parka on with the fur hood covering my face and to say the least, I was bundled up. Niall on the other hand just had a winter jacket and a hat to keep himself warm, like the cold didn’t really affect him much.

Jerk.

While one hand held hot chocolate, the other was wrapped around Niall’s arm and into his hand. It was a new thing of ours, at least I think it was. I don’t know how it started or when it did, but I liked it. Most of the time I didn’t think about it until I felt warmth and realized that I wasn’t holding my own hand.

“He’s sick? Like is it a cold sick or he’s got something wrong with him?”

“Thats the thing, I have no idea. Charlotte and Mum’s keeping quiet about this. It’s like they don’t want me to know, but I’m a big girl, I deserve to know.”

“But what if they’re doing it to protect you?”

“Protect me how?” I asked before bringing the hot chocolate to my lips. I was confused on just about everything, about why they were keeping that from me and why they were, in Nialls words, protecting me.

“Well, what if they’re trying to find a way to tell you? I mean, you’re not always good with news right away. So what if they’re trying to find a good way to tell you, and not cause you to be upset about it?”

He was sort of right. I wasn’t good with news at all. A good example was when my mood dropped the day his family said they were staying for a little bit longer, and we saw how much my mood had dropped then.

“But I’ll be upset because they’re not telling me whats wrong. I mean, I think it has to be something bad if they’re not telling me anything at all.”

“It’s only your mum and Charlotte that knows, right?” He asked, tugging me over with him to throw his empty cup away before continuing on our walk.

“I have a weird feeling Liam knows. But Liam wouldn’t lie to me, ever.” I groaned at the thought of all three of them keeping this from me. What would make it worse was if Louis was told not to tell me either.

“For now, Flower, let’s talk about something different and not worry about this, yeah?”

And while I nodded my head in agreement, I was still going to worry.

~~~

We actually managed to meet up with Harry.

Niall said that when he got off the phone with Harry, he said that Alexa couldn’t join them because she went to be with family. While I was bummed that I wasn’t going to see her, I was actually happy to have at least the boys to keep up with.

“My favorite person is here!” Harry chimed once he had seen us. While Niall had (once again) suspected it was about him, he started beaming.

“Haven’t I told you? It’s always going to be Rosie. You’re my favorite too, just not, the favorite.” Harry smirked after putting emphasis on favorite. Niall went on to mumble a ‘fuck you’ but gave him a hug anyways, then moved to the side so I can get my hug from him.

It was Harry’s suggestion that we went to some hole-in-the-wall restaurant. I didn’t have a problem with that, I could find anything to eat at this rate.

“Why has Niall kept you away from me?” Harry asked minutes later, his arms folding against his chest, a cocky grin forming on his face.

“Because he’s jealous that I’m your favorite and not him?” That gave Harry another laughing fit and Niall muttering under his breath again.

“While yes, thats true, I wanna know whats been going on that you’ve been hidden away from me.”

“Busy I guess. I mean, i’ve been working a whole bunch, but I’ve also been working on wedding stuff with my sister.”

“Wait Charlotte’s getting married?” Harry had looked so confused while Niall started laughing.

When I first met Harry, he asked about me just like Niall had. So I had told him about my sister and my parents. Other stuff had came up, but he was always so intrigued about my sister for some random ass reason. Maybe it was because she was crazier than me, or maybe it was because I always talked about her more than my parents. Whatever the case was, he just… was interested in my life.

“No! Remember i’ve talked about her friend Cissy? I’m helping Charlotte plan Cissy’s wedding because Cissy doesn’t like event planners because they ruin things. Charlotte’s the maid of honor and I’m walking with the ring bearer and flower girl so they won’t kill each other.”

Harry’s expression changed into an understood look, and nodded his head slowly.

“So you’re going to walk with kids? Do you have a date?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

As quickly as he asked that, it was also as quick as I grabbed my drink and took a sip. I looked at him for a split second before moving my eyes in the direction of Niall. Niall, on the other hand, had his arms crossed and looked around every place he could without looking at Harry.

“No fucking way. He’s meeting your whole family at a wedding? Fuck, can you record that for me?”

“No!” I hollered rather loudly, my hands going straight to my mouth as my cheeks with a shade of red. I didn’t need people’s attention on me because of that and I didn’t want it.

“Dammit, that’s going to be a lovely ‘meet the parents’ plan. Have you at least seen her dress, mate?”

For the rest of dinner, Harry droned on and on about the wedding details and Niall’s involvement as being my date because I played his girlfriend. It went to the point of us saying goodbye to each other and Niall pushing Harry off in the direction he was in, saying something along the lines of “shove off” and “good night.”

~~~

“Why can’t you just stay.” Niall whined again.

After dinner with Harry, we went off to do our own thing again. We mainly went walking around the school campus. Once again, my arm was linked around his from earlier in the day, only we had no hot chocolate this time. I opted to hide my other hand in my coat pocket to keep warm instead and worried less on the hand that would be frozen.

“Cos I’ve got to work and you have a senior thesis to write.” I reminded him.

“That’s not fair.” He huffed then, making a frowny face because of it.

“It is fair, because you’ve got a paper to write and I know come december you’ll have to get it all edited by a teacher and have to rewrite it. More slacking means more stressing on it down the line.” I hummed.

“How do you know that?” He made a face at me.

“You’ve mentioned it once or twice.”

“I did?”

“You did.” I confirmed.

“Oh.”

We moved on from the campus down to the main street. It all fell silent again as we walked, and in a way, it was soothing and nice. I mean, I know talking was nice and so was a conversation, but having silence was a good thing too. After all, being in the presence of someone was good enough in the long run.

Niall guided me to the train station, knowing that even if he begged and pleaded all he wanted, I still had to go back home. Not to mention, it would’ve been weird if I had stayed, because it technically would’ve been the first time ever staying there.

As in, fully sleepin there. Staying the night. With him.

As much as the offer was nice, there was no way I was ready for that? Let alone even prepared for something like that.

The sky was turning pretty shades of pinks and oranges just like the morning would, only it was showing the sun was setting. Because of this I held onto Niall a little bit tighter, even though there wasn’t a reason for it. But knowing that once we would get to the train station and get my ticket, the sky would probably be black out.

“When are you coming back North?” I asked randomly, realizing that we were getting closer to the station.

“Dunno, maybe next week? It’s the end of october, everything’s starting to get crazy. Why what’s up?”

“Just wondering if I’ll see ya or not.” I shrugged my shoulders then.

“Why?” He asked again, this time stopping in our tracks to look at me.

“I’ve got plans coming up and I wanted to know if you coming up to Leeds would interfere with them or not. Now can we continue walking?”

Niall rolled his eyes then, leading us to start walking again. Although he had said next week, I was pretty sure he was going to stay down in Sheffield for the next couple of weeks because of school. It would be okay for me, because that way I can get things done with Cissy and probably get my own place decorated for Christmas and whatever else I needed to do.

Upon getting to the train station and paying for my ticket, Niall waited with me there until the train came. We stayed in silence once again, this time appreciating it as we waited. Or well, I waited and Niall stood there to keep an eye out on me.

“So… about that dress.”

“You’re back on that subject?” I turned to look at him, a smirk forming on my face as he sheepishly smiled at me. “No, it’s a surprise. Literally no one has seen it. You’ll just have to wait like everyone else.”

“But how am I going to match?”

“Guess you’re not going to match then.” I started to laugh once Niall made a horrible attempt at a glaring look.

“When is the wedding, seeing as you never brought up a date at all.”

“May 10th down in London. You know where the Royal Exchange is? That’s where we’re going.”

By then the train had arrived and waited for everyone to aboard and get off. I walked over to Niall, hugging him tightly before letting go and made a face.

“I’ll see you soon.” Niall spoke, giving a little wave as turned to walk into the train.

I really hoped I would see him soon.

~~~

The following morning I was up and waiting around for Charlotte.

After I had gotten home last night Charlotte had called me, asking if I wanted to hang out. I told her I had just gotten home, and so today would be better than last night. I had no idea what we were doing, but I all i know was that she wanted to hang out.

“You’re awfully giddy looking today, Rosie? What’s gotten into you?”

“I am?” I asked. I didn’t think I looked giddy today at all.

“You look it. Is it a boy?”

“No?”

She made that infamous face of hers, saying “okay whatever” without being verbal about it. It was a look that she normally gave me when I wanted to play dumb, or that I was confused by her actions. And right now, I was confused by her actions.

“Anyways, we’re going to plan your birthday.”

“My birthday isn’t until December… We’re on November 4th. We don’t need to do anything for my birthday.”

“C’mon Rosie, we went to Amsterdam for my birthday! This time around we get to celebrate yours in a different place. Where’d you wanna go? Paris? Madrid? Rome? Greece? C’mon give me some ideas!”

“It’s the two of us, yeah?”

“Mhm.”

The two of us went walking. I figured we had no exact place to go too because we were wandering. I didn’t mind though, walking around with no destination. It had became my new favorite hobby to do, even if we had someplace to go, just walking was a new thing for me. And since that's what Charlotte and I were doing, I was perfectly happy doing that.

My birthday was on December 10th, and Charlotte wanted to plan my birthday now.

Thinking about it though, it made sense. I had weeks to plan her birthday and now she wanted to have the same amount of time to plan for my birthday. I was glad that she was at least offering different places and ideas.

The first thought in my mind would’ve been Belize to see my dad, but Charlotte and I were going in the summer and that would’ve been a little too much.

“What about Madrid?”

Charlotte turned to look at me with a big smile on her face.

“Madrid it is.”

We continued walking for a little while until we found a restaurant to eat at. Charlotte raved on and on about how good the food was since she had been here a few times with some of her friends. I wasn’t trusting her until I had some for myself.

After what seemed like forever, I had to ask.

“How sick is dad?”

That got Charlotte to choke on her meal, reaching for her water. I sat there quietly, watching her trying to get her thoughts together and to clear her throat. I wanted to know, I had to know.

“He’s fine, Rosie. Just had a minor cold, nothing to worry about.” She made it seem as if it was nothing to worry about. That wasn’t what I heard a few days ago, saying that they were worried and wouldn’t tell me.

“That’s not what you guys made it out to be.” I huffed.

“Rosie, don’t worry about it, alright? Mum and I got it under control.”

I didn’t know what it was, but what she said made my blood boil. I didn’t like the idea of not knowing, and so this was just the icing on the cake. I looked around quickly before making a drastic decision. Grabbing my bag I hopped off my seat, giving her a look.

“Whatever Charlotte.”

And while I heard her protests for me to come back, I didn’t.