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dazed--xx · 5 months ago

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🌒Rewriting Destiny🌒

Member: Duke! Chan x reader

Word count: 16k

Trigger warnings: ANGST, Death (FL), psychological, trauma, poisoning, parental neglect/abuse, arranged marriage, anxiety, Nobility, engagement at a young age, regression, murder, revenge, mentions of magic, PTSD, manipulation, regretful ML, Resentment, betrayal, classism, 17th century ideals, homophobia(mentions), SOME!historical accuracy, LOTS! of historical inaccuracies, BREAK UP!, grief, mourning, denial, failure to let go, etc…

A/N: God damn this mf long lol, this has taken fucking forever but I worked really hard on it and HAD to break it into two parts because of the length. Part 2 will probably focus more on Chan 'redeeming' himself and their relationship in the current timeline and more flirty moments. BUT I really hope you guys enjoy this one

Love….

What is love, truly?

If you were to ask her mother; Love is weakness. A nuisance and any signs of it will be dealt with accordingly.

If you asked her personal maid; She’d say love is a burning passionate inferno you must work hard to be sure it doesn't extinguish.

For Y/N; Love is torture. It grabbed a hold of you like a boa constrictor, engulfing your entire being before slowly squeezing the life out of you. She sat quietly as her maid, Aera, brushed her onyx tresses. “I heard His grace has returned from his expedition. Shall I make you extra pretty so you can give him your greetings, My lady?” Area questioned with a sad yet hopeful smile. Y/N looked at her through the mirror, “His grace would prefer to return on another year-long expedition than have my greetings” She commented softly. Her voice never wavered though, she was dying inside. “No…rather set up tea and snacks in the garden for the returning knights and his grace. Also, have the cooks prepare a hearty meal for them for dinner. The expedition may have contributed to strengthening the knights but they have a habit of neglecting their health.” She continues. Area nods as she finishes doing Y/Ns hair.

“And if his grace asks for your whereabouts?”

“I will be in my study” Y/N answers, knowing it made no difference.

Though it had been a year since she had last seen her husband. Her heart always shook in fear and excitement when he would return home from his expeditions. She sat at her vanity, taking a deep breath as her mother's voice rang in her ear. ‘If you fail as the Dutchess and don't produce an heir; You would beg for my punishment in comparison to the power of the Bang Dutchy.’ She flinched at the memory, her arm lifting in a defensive position as she waited for the strike that hadn't come in 10 years. She lets out a sigh of relief as she's brought back into the luxurious bedroom. Her breathing is shaky as she lifts herself from her seat. Her hands tremble as she brings herself in front of her bedroom door, she hesitates as she reaches for the handle. Just quickly make your way to the study. She tells herself; Keep looking forward and go to the study…Her heart feels like it could pound out of her chest as she pulls the door open. Out into the battleground that is the Dutchy. Out of the safety of the cage that is her bedroom.

It had begun shortly after she had arrived at the manor. The whispers from the maids and butlers about the Count's temptress of a daughter who tried to seduce the Duke at 8 years old. She learned early on that responding to or acknowledging such rumors was unbecoming of a Dutchess. Y/N winced as she remembered the stinging of the riding crop against her spine, from her attempt to speak against her sister-in-law, Kari, who was cheerfully laughing with her friends over the matter. She learned quickly, that her mother was correct. Failure, Weakness, and Disloyalty will be quickly snuffed out in the Dutchy. Her sister-in-law held reign over the staff and managed the household, ruling with an iron fist. Despite her title, to survive, Y/N lived as Kari’s dog.

While she was expected to represent the Dutchy at social gatherings, the nobility always referred to Kari for anything. Y/N was the Dutchess by title only. Aera, who came with Y/N from the county; Would complain late into the night about the other staff's mistreatment of her master. The many nights Aera would stay up with Y/N pleading for her to put in a formal complaint with the Duke.

She couldn't…

When she had married Chan, he had only one request after their wedding night. “Do not approach me beyond our scheduled meetings” so she remained with her head down allowing Kari to maintain her position. While she enjoyed remaining in the shadows. She could see the cogs spinning in Kari’s mind. The leash around her neck was tightening. New rules had been implemented courtesy of her ‘Husband’ and his return from his expedition.

The Dutchess is to be moved to the Rose annex

The Dutchess will refrain from returning to the main manor

The Dutchess may never needlessly approach the Duke.

The Dutchess will begin taking contraceptive potions nightly, immediately.

Y/N sat at her desk looking over the declaration once more. She was confused. It was normal for Chan to ask for her presence to be absent when he returned home; he'd usually requested to speak with her to discuss living arrangements as well as a schedule for ‘night meetings’ to keep appearances that they were trying for an heir. Y/N felt slightly disappointed, Chan had requested for her to take a medicinal potion that has proven harmful to her health. She sat for hours staring blankly out the window. The signs were beginning to appear one by one. The family she had married into had lost use for her...

Y/Ns blood ran cold as she came to the realization. The move to the annex, the maids becoming more and more ruthless, and the lack of guards around her annex becoming more frequent. Her time is slowly coming to an end. She wondered if there was a point to all of this. Would there be a point in running? Her mother would hunt her down and skin her alive if she did. ‘Die a respected Dutchess rather than run and be a divorced beggar’ she could hear her mother say. Y/N watches as the blue clear sky fades into a bright purple and orange hue.

A knock on her door pulls her attention away from her thoughts. “Yes?” She calls monotonously. “The Duke is in the receiving room, My lady.” Area calls softly. Y/N's eyebrows furrow in confusion. “My lady?” Area calls once again when she doesn't reply. “I-Im coming! I apologize, Aera.” Y/N replies as she shakily lifts herself from her seat. The whole walk to the receiving room Y/N worried.

Why was he here? He's never visited of his own accord. What could be happening? Would he cast her out himself? A petite hand grips her own pulling her out of her thoughts. Y/N stares at the owner, as Aera gives her a comforting smile. Y/N lets out a sigh, the butler pulls open the door. She hesitates for a moment, it had been a year—one full year, since she had last seen her husband. A lot could change in a single year. She feared how her husband had changed; it was never good for her. She entered the room, her heart sank into her stomach. There he sat, at the head of the room. A flurry of maids standing about waiting on baited breath for his every command. His hair was no longer the clean-cut style but overgrown, sitting raggedly over his forehead and disheveled. Evidence of his bath dripping onto his loose black shirt. He sat a scowl on his plush lips as he sipped his tea. “To what do I owe the honor, Your grace?” Y/N questioned monotonously. “Should I have a reason to visit my dear wife?” He states smugly as he places his tea on the table in front of him. “Especially when I do not receive her greetings after a year-long monster-hunting expedition and come to discover she no longer lives in the same house as me?” Y/N stares at him in bewilderment and confusion. “Your grace?” She stammered “Please, take a seat” He gestured to the loveseat in front of him, his face no longer containing any emotion.

Y/N sits nervously as she begins to question her husband. “I apologize, but what do you mean? I’ve received your letter and followed your instructions.” Chan furrowed his eyebrows as his ears perked up “What letter?” Y/N's attention is pulled away from him by the slight clink of a teacup being placed on the table in front of her. Y/N's eyes remained focused on the maid for a moment, she couldn't quite put her finger on it but something felt…off. “Have you gone deaf in the past 5 minutes?” Chan questions frustratedly. Y/N shakes her head taking hold of the teacup and taking a sip. “No, I apologize. I've not been feeling well today” Y/N states calmly. Her throat begins to feel a small burning sensation. “What letter? When did you receive a letter from me?” Chan asks stoically. Y/N coughs slightly “My apologies, I received your letter about one months time ago” She takes another sip of tea trying to alleviate the growing discomfort. Chan stares at her with his eyebrows raised “And you are sure it was addressed from me?” her throat begins to burn incessantly. Her eyes widen as her mouth fills with a coppery tast as she coughs again.

“My lady?!?!” Area exclaims worriedly “Y/N?!”

Only then does Y/N make the connection. The maid—She works in the main manor, and she’s Kari’s personal maid. Y/N stares at the teacup in her hand, dropping it in a panic. Her eyes meet Chan’s for a moment. He sat stoically, but his eyes never once left her. Y/N rushes to her feet, reaching out for her personal maid “Aera!” She calls. Her tone gurgles and hoarse as crimson cascades out of her mouth. Her legs give way beneath her as she feels arms around her. The room begins to grow blurry as she feels the life fading from her body.

No…No not yet, please God! Don't let me die! I didn't get away…I-I was never happy please! She prays God please let me be happy. “If I could do it all over again…Id have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…” She croaks as everything fades to black.

Her eyes shot open as she felt breath return to her lungs. Her hands trembled at her sides, her heart pounded in her chest. The familiar white walls with gold accents has her in a daze as she pulls herself from the duvet and rushes toward the window. My parents estate…She lets out a sigh as she steps back toward the bed. A warm soft wall blocks her path, “oomph” she hears from behind her. “M-My apologies, My Lady” a petite gentle voice called. Y/N's eyebrows furrow as she scans her maid's face. Aera looked…different—younger even. “I-I’m Aera…” she continued.

“What?” Y/N questions bewildered “Why are you introducing yourself to me? Am I at my parents estate?”

Aera gives her a befuddled expression “Pardon?”

“I know your name Aera, you've worked for me for 10 years now.”

Aera shakes her head at Y/Ns words “No, My lady. Today is my first day…” Y/N freezes for a moment. “Bring me a mirror!” she requests firmly. Aera rushes to her vanity and hands her a jade-handled mirror. Y/N stared at the object with shock and disbelief. How could this be possible? She wondered Kari had one of her maids destroy this on my wedding night…How—She flips the mirror, gasping in shock she's met with a youthful version of herself. Her cheeks were no longer sunken in and now sat a lively pink. Her skin and lips no longer pale and cracked. The scars from Kari’s punishments no longer decorated her hands and arms.

Did God hear her prayers? Has time gone back?

“Aera!” Y/N calls in an almost chipper tone. The young maid's ears perk up as she waits for a command. “Yes, My lady?” she answered eagerly. “You said it was your first day, correct?” Y/N questions kindly remembering how meek and nervous the young maid was when she first started. Aera nods profusely “Yes, My lady. The count and countess said I will be going with you after your marriage as it is customary.” she explains. Y/N smiles at her, their memories from the past 10 years flow through her mind. “Yes, I have heard as such” She states with a soft nod. “Take care of me well...” Y/N sighs happily “I will do my best!” Aera exclaims excitedly. “B-But, My lady?…May I ask why you said I have worked here the past 10 years?”

Y/N freezes for a moment. She didn't understand it herself. Had I really gone back in time? Could it have been a prophetic dream? How could I answer her? “I tend to get confused after a long sleep, My apologies” A loud bang on her door startled both of the young women. Y/N hears a familiar voice, her nanny, pleading with someone on the other side of the door. The familiar call of her nanny's voice has her rushing to the door and pulling it open. Her heart sinks to her stomach as she comes face to face with her mother.

A sharp sting on her cheek and the sound of skin connecting with each other rings through the air. Y/Ns legs give out beneath her as she stares up at her mother in shock, as she attempts to rack her brain in search of her mother's reasoning. It all felt too familiar “M-Mother…” Y/N stammered nervously. Her mother scowls at her “Have I given you permission to speak?” Y/N shakes her head rapidly; Her nanny and the maids stand frozen in their places as her mother brings her can down forcefully on her right hand. Y/N cries out in pain “I-I'm sorry!” she whimpers. “You should be. Not only did you have the sodomite escort you. The behavior you showed with that—that lowly Knight. You deserve worse…How dare you embarrass your family like that?!” Her mother scolded. Y/N shakes her head in denial as she finally remembers. “N-No…Hyunji—w-we were just talking—please!” She pleads trying to move her mother's cane from her hand.

“You are to be married to the future heir of the Bang Dutchy and you are galivanting with a knight. Smiling at another man in the same room as your fiancé.!” Her mother growled. “H-He’s a knight of the Bang Dutchy. I should be acquainted with my future people…” Y/N tries to argue to no avail. Her mother lifts the cane holding it firmly in her hand as she brings it down harshly on Y/Ns spine. Y/N cries out painfully “Stop!”

“Stop?! You behave like a courtesan and you expect not to be punished?!” Her mother brings the cane down in 3 quick whips.

“Countess! Countess! The bruises may not heal in time for the wedding!” Her nanny pleads “She learned her lesson…please!” Y/N stares at the ground burying the pain and tears as her mother taught her oh so many years ago. “Don't embarrass this family more than you already have.” her mother warns before turning and exiting the room. Y/N released a breath she didn't realize she was holding as the maids quickly shuffled around her. Bringing her to her feet and rapidly cleaning the small traces of blood on the ground. Y/N stared blankly ahead as they continued to fret and fuss about.

It would almost be impossible to call off the engagement…Mother would kill me if I was somehow able to get the contract annulled. Kari will kill me if I get married….10 years is a lot more time to come up with a plan….I just have to either get Bang Chan to help me annul the engagement(which should be no problem considering around now is when he began to despise me) or run away before Kari can kill me…

Please!

Do something!

Y/N?!

Someone help me please?!

Why are you just sitting there?!

Y/N? Please…Im begging you!

Open your eyes!

Chan’s eyes flash open. His heart is pounding rapidly in his chest as he caresses his head. Sitting up in bed he feels dizzy, his vision slightly blurry. “Young Master. Please lie down…you drank quite a bit last night.” His aide, Felix, states with a disappointed frown. Chan shakes his head in frustration. “Wouldn't you?” He growls. Felix stares at him stoically. “I understand the future young miss upset you. But it was I who suggested she get acquainted with the knights…you did not need to overindulge”

Chan furrows his eyebrows “Future young miss? What are you talking about?!” Chan snaps “I'm not getting married again I told you this!”

Felix raises his eyebrow in confusion “Pardon? Again” Felix brings his hand to Chan’s forehead. “Are you not feeling well?” Chan shakes his hand off of him. Only then does he realize; Felix looked…different. It was Felix, he could clearly see it was him, but he was—younger! Chan quickly shoved his duvet to the side and rushed over to the large mirror across the room. His eyes widened as his youthful appearance came into view. “Felix?!” Chan exclaims excitedly as he touches his own face over and over “How old am I?!”

Felix stares at him like he's grown a second head “19?” He answers confused. Chan smiles at himself in the mirror as a laugh erupts from his chest. He takes a few steps back as tears fill his eyes. “It worked…” He whispers to himself. “It really worked…” A sob begins to crash over him like a tidal wave as tears cascade down his cheeks. “Young master?” Felix questions worriedly. Chan shakes his head in response. He won't understand….not anymore Chan thinks to himself. “Nothing” Chan sniffles quickly trying to pull himself together. “So about the young miss?” Felix questions. “It's just as you said. The rumors about her started because of your suggestion. You should get ahead of them and have any one that spreads false information dealt with immediately.” Chan states as his eyes grow dark.

His mind wanders to Y/N…A new life Y/N, I promise. I'll give you a new life. I'll make sure marrying me isn't your biggest regret this time. Her memories, her pain, her death. He prays it was all reset with this spell. He wished he could forget it all too. But now he had a chance. A chance to fix things. A way to make sure nothing bad could happen this time: a chance to protect her properly this time. “Felix what's on my schedule today?”

“A meeting with the Duke. Then to the training grounds after that, I believe Lady Kim wished to have tea to discuss your venture into her guild. After that, I believe the Dutchess has requested your presence at dinner tonight.” Felix explained studiously. Chan held back a snicker at the way his best friend behaved when they were younger. Remembering the astute Mage he's destined to become. “Tell Lady Kim, I apologize but I must go to the L/N County,” Chan states as Felix hands him a button-down shirt and black slacks. “Also, please inform the count Id like to speak with him.” Chan explains as he grabs his clothes and begins to dress himself. Felix places his hand on Chan's shoulder giving him a knowing but serious look as he shakes his head in disapproval. Chan sighs in frustration. God dammit…he does remember.

“Fine. Tell my father that I will be there soon”

Y/N strolled quietly through the garden as her mind wandered. How could she get away from here? She sighed; Her hands trembled slightly at how terrible the punishment would be for attempting to call off her engagement. The sun's rays danced upon her cheeks. The warmth embraced her comfortingly. Her greenhouse appears over the small hill leading off the property and into the forest. Her heart swelled in happiness. It had been so long since she had last seen her little oasis. After she had woken up in the past; her mother placed her on strict lockdown after the ‘stunt’ she pulled at the banquet. It was now 10 days until her wedding… She pouted to herself He's going to be visiting soon….She could remember vividly how it went the first time

*10 years ago- First timeline*

Y/N stood in the garden. A small smile on her lips as she helped the gardener with the Strelitzias. Her heart quaked in anticipation. She's going to be married in 5 days. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, her fiancé would be arriving at any moment. Y/N couldn't contain the giddiness she felt at seeing her handsome raven-haired fiancé. She had not seen him for 2 years due to his involvement in the war. She had heard he returned a month prior

Y/N felt slightly disappointed when Chan did not come to see her right after his return. They had grown close over the past few years. She assumes that the war had left him fatigued and he needed rest. It had been odd to her that she had also learned of his return through the rumor mill and not from him. She had written him frequently during the war, though his letters have dwindled over the past year she still held out hope. Hope that he felt the same way. Hope for their future. Hope for friendship and mutual love. So as she returned back to her room and learned Chan was in the reception room, she quickly rushed to greet him. Her heart almost burst with excitement.

She smiled brightly as she entered the room. “Channie!” she exclaimed cheerfully as she made her way to the loveseat across from Chan. She freezes when he lifts his hand and a dark glare sits on his face. “Please refrain from using such childish nicknames. I am the heir to the Bang Dutchy; not one of your lowly playmates” He states monotonously. Y/N's eyebrows furrow in confusion “I-I apologize, Your Grace” Chan nods boredly, he snaps his finger, and his aide, Felix, hands him a small stack of letters. “Also, refrain from doing this anymore as well. Our engagement and marriage are nothing but formalities. Do not allow yourself to be confused.” He tilts his head slightly with an arrogant smirk. “There is no reason to harass me with useless things while I am at war. I am only marrying you to inherit my rightful title.” He scolds. Tears build in Y/Ns eyes as she stares into her lap for a moment. She takes one…two….three shaky breaths before she quickly masks her emotions. “I made the mistake of believing we were friends. I apologize, Your Grace” She states meekly. Her expression is completely blank as she stared at Chan. “I do not recall myself telling you we are friends, I do not wish to grow a close relationship with you!” He snaps “I understand, and why is this? What have I done?” Y/N questions.

“A lowly Count’s daughter like you doesn't deserve to marry into the Bang Dutchy. You lack the education, etiquette, and overall quality to be the Dutchess…but since my mother is so insistent on this. Be sure to stay out of my way—both before and after our wedding. I will do my husbandly duties but do not expect love nor affection in our marriage”

*Present*

Y/N shuddered at the memory. She wished she could go back and smack herself for allowing him to belittle her in such an embarrassing manner. At the time, she sat still and properly lowered her head due to his words. This time, she will take any form of punishment from her mother just to make Chan the one flustered and utterly mortified. She'd lay down her life if that's what it takes to prevent the marriage she experienced before she came back in time. “My lady, why are you just staring at the door?” Aeras petite voice pulls her from her thoughts. Y/N jumps from the intrusion, her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “I was just thinking…” she chuckles slightly.

“You have received a letter from the young master of the Bang Dutchy….” Aera states softly as she extends her hands holding a small letter tray with an envelope sitting in the middle. The Bang seal is a prominent fixture in the middle of the envelope. Y/N stares at the tray for a moment. What? He never sent me a letter before he arrived in my past life… why? She questioned to herself as her eyes never once left the seal. “My lady?” Aera asks worriedly. Y/N shakes her head in response as she takes the letter and opening it.

‘Dear Lady Y/N,

I apologize for not writing you sooner. War had taken hold of my mind and I could not allow myself to be distracted. I returned home a little over 20 days ago, and once again I extend my apologies. I must say, I find myself wondering how you are doing. My mind seems to be full of nothing but you. Have these two years been kind to you? My heart races in anticipation at the thought of our marriage. I know these past two years may have been difficult but as I am home now, I will take care of you. I hope to see you. I long to see you, my heart aches as these days pass and I am losing my patience. May I please see you tomorrow? You cannot imagine my longing. I shall wait for your letter.’

-Bang Chan

Y/N's eyes widen as her cheeks burn a bright scarlet as she reads the contents of the letter. Why did he say these things? Who was this person? How could things be so different than I remember? “Aera, Can you please bring me stationary and something to write with?” She requests flustered.

No matter how many sweet words may be exchanged…Our marriage is only destined for disaster.

Chan’s leg shook in excitement. He'd sent Y/N a letter just this morning yet, he was on the edge of his seat. Hoping she’d respond as she always did. He felt giddy at the thought of receiving one of her love-filled letters once again. He'd missed reading every passionate word. She wouldn't leave his mind. Her smile, Her soft expressions, the gentle honorable way she held herself. Everything about his fiancè had his body practically vibrating. He no longer wished to wait to claim his wife once again. He lost her in his previous life, long before the burning memory of her final moments continuously plagued his dreams nightly. He needed to see her, speak to her, and finally for once just hold her. He prayed for her letter to come soon. He contemplated just using his title to force his way into the County and planting himself beside her, but Felix warned against it. ‘Never force your emotions on a woman’ He explained. Chan felt as if he was going mad.

A knock on his door has him jumping to his feet. The sight of a letter in the butler's hand makes him rush to grab it off the tray. He stared at the letter, his finger tracing over the count's seal. He couldn't help but feel a slight twinge in his chest. He could remember how excited he'd get to receive a letter from her in his first life. Every letter he had received from her contained this seal. He could still remember how harshly he'd been forced to snap on her in his previous life about her letters. He scolded himself, but he never received another letter from her after that day. Even then, he regretted saying those words as soon as he uttered them. But at the time, the risk Kari posed in her life overpowered any feelings he had for his fiancè. He should have realized back then, that even if he distanced himself from her as long as Y/N sat on the Dutchess seat, her life would be in danger. His breath was shaky as he opened her letter.

‘Dear Lord Chan,

My apologies, your grace. I have been ill recently and cannot see you. Welcome back, as you understand rest is important to ones health so I believe it would be best to not see each other until I've regained my strength.

-Y/N L/N’

Chan's eyebrows furrowed in disbelief as it felt like his heart was shattering in his chest. No…Why? She's lying…Why is she lying? She's not sick…she wasn't in my previous life…so why? His hands shook at his side as anger and confusion bubbled inside of him. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down. Why would she lie? In the past, she was waiting for me! She loves me right now so why? I hadn't made any mistakes yet…….

Perhaps she was truly ill, yet he couldn't remember a single sign of illness from his previous memories. He can vividly remember her excitement, the cheerful way she exclaimed his childhood nickname. Is she avoiding me? No…She couldn't be…She loves me…She adores me…but what if—-his stomach churned. “No, there has to be an explanation.” He whispers to himself. “I should send the doctor there and—Felix!” He calls “Prepare a carriage!” He had to see for himself, he needed to see her—even just a small glimpse would satisfy this desperate ache. The memory of his beloved coughing up blood as she desperately clung to her personal maid, sent a sharp spear through his chest. Her final words ring through his mind ‘If I could do it all over again…Id have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…’ He winced to himself. As the image of her body appears before him, he drops to his knees in a panic. His breath gets caught in his throat as he desperately reaches out toward the apparition. No! She's alive! She's alive now…I need to see her. I need to be absolutely sure everything is going right. “How am I supposed to continue waiting?!” Chan exclaims to himself as he clenched his fist slamming it on the ground.

“Patience…” A familiar deep voice responds. Chan lifts his head as he sees Felix holding Y/N’s letter. “Felix…—No. My memories may slowly be returning but I do remember how specific I was…nothing. And I mean nothing must change prior to your first meeting that day with Y/N. Your impatience can ruin everything we've worked for!” Felix cuts him off. “I don't remember this from before so why do you have another letter? When did you request to see her?” Felix questions. Chan shakes his head, “How did you expect me to just remain still and try to do things like before?! How can you expect me to not want to see her?!” Felix snaps his finger and the letter goes up in flames. Chan’s eyes widen as a look of horror decorates his features. “NO! What did you do?”

“I'm fixing the mistakes you made, lets hope things didn't change too much with this. I told you, there are consequences for even going back in time. Someone is still going to die. If you act before it is time, then that person will be Y/N again. The only person who can change things now is her. It's her life at stake. It's her fate! She's the only one permitted to mess with it. Things will go the same if you try too early. Remember, her memories aren't intact.” Felix states. “I will contact my resource in the county and give you an update on her okay? That is the most we can do until your paths cross as they did before.” He stares at Chan with a serious expression. Even at his small level of magic, his ability was terrifying. He implanted his memories to return slowly so as to not overwhelm his body with mana. Placing the unlocked mana of a high mage into his younger self could ruin any magic he had done before he turned back time.

“Can’t I just go see her…I will not interact with her. Just see her, she likes her garden so it shouldn't be too difficult to not be seen?” Chan asks desperately. Felix gives him an apologetic look. Chan feels himself deflate. Why didn't I see her when I first came home in my previous life? He whimpered to himself My beloved Y/N, wait for me.

Y/N’s hand trembles as her carriage approaches Bang Manor. She stared blankly into her lap, her hands looking almost smaller with the bright pink lace gloves sitting just above her elbow. The corsetted pink dress felt like pins and needles upon her skin. She adjusted the bust attempting to cover the very prominent cleavage. “Stop fussing with it!” Her mother growls. “It does not feel proper nor comfortable…” Y/N calmly states. Her mother closes her fan leaning forward with a smirk “Comfort, is a luxury you cannot afford. You need to look and behave perfectly.”

Y/N nods half-heartedly. “Men, no matter their title or accolades, cannot resist a womans ‘charm’ even a woman like you” her mother snides. “Mother, it is a garden party, for the women of high society. There will be no men.”

“Do you forget who's home this is?”

“How could I forget…” Y/N felt herself growing more and more frustrated at her mother's insistence on continuing the conversation. She did not wish to attend this garden party. How she wished her nanny hadn't been able to talk her mother down a few days ago now. In her previous life, Y/N begged and pleaded with her mother to allow her to attend this party. Her future sister-in-law personally invited her and her attendance was expected but, due to the banquet fiasco and the bruises left from her punishment, Y/N was forced to remain home while her mother attended the older women's party. Now that she knew what could possibly await her and Kari’s true nature, Y/N would do anything to not attend this party. She would have to remain alert and proper. She could not make a single mistake. Kari was as manipulative as she was beautiful. She was cunning and could destroy Y/Ns life with a single smirk. Y/N was the daughter of a lowly Count, though she had been engaged to Chan for 7 years now; Kari always liked to remind her of her position in society.

This garden party, in particular, Kari would describe as an introductory party. In her past, Y/N learned why Kari truly held these parties. Kari and the most prosperous daughters of the nobility enjoyed vetting and ‘playing’ with the hopeful ‘lower class’ of Viscounts, Barons and Earls. They'd enjoy pretending to spend time with the daughters all while slowly sucking away their ability to think a single thought without the higher-up's input. Y/N was the 14th girl they had done this to in both of her lifetimes, unfortunately. “Countess, Lady Y/N we have arrived.” the coachman called. Y/N's heart sinks deeper into her stomach as she feels a wave of nausea takes over her. Her mother raised her eyebrow as she stared at her. “Behave. And don't embarrass us.” Her mother growls as she exits the carriage and makes her way into the manor. Y/N steadies her breathing for a moment before she slowly lifts herself from her seat, exiting the carriage she is greeted by the familiar staff. The memories of their cruel taunts and whispers flash through her mind. Words get caught in her throat as she looks away from them. They didn't do it yet…things have changed…they won't hurt me this time. She reassures herself. A maid points her to the path to the garden, taking a deep breath she makes her way over to the party.

Y/N couldn't help but admire the Dutchess’ garden, knowing how much pride her mother-in-law put into creating this garden herself. Leaning in to smell the gorgeous roses she halts as a mop of jet-black hair catches her attention. She couldn't say she was surprised at the expensive, elegant aura Kari radiated. The false friendly smile that sat perfectly on her plush lips, as she ‘entertained her new pets.’ Y/N stood frozen in place as she watched her sister-in-law chat with her friends, looking almost innocent. If this had been the past, Y/N would have rushed over to the table excitedly as she imagined every other girl did when they arrived. She mentally curses herself when Kari’s eyes meet hers. A bright beaming smile forms on the younger girl's lips as she lifts herself from her seat at the table and makes her way over. “I'm glad to see you made it! My brother said you have been ill.” Kari exclaimed. “Greetings Lady Bang. My health has improved and I made a commitment, I'm here to honor it.” Y/N responded with the same amount of faux enthusiasm. Kari smiles as she tilts her head slightly “How becoming of the future Dutchess.” Kari gestures toward the table. “Please, have a seat.” Y/N stares at the only free seat available, right beside Kari and her friends.

Y/N could feel their scornful stares behind their sweet facades. She despised these women, the select few that made her previous life absolute hell. “Lady Y/N, I heard life in the county can be quite desolate. I'm glad to see its beginning to prosper considering your dress.” A red head named Sera questioned. Sera’s father, a marquis, was a ruthless tyrannical man. In her past life, Sera did not fall too far behind him. She was a viper of a woman. Her venom laced rumors could make or break a young woman reputation in high society. Kari eventually cast Sera out when it was revealed she had been in an 12 year affair with a knight in her fathers estate and in her desperation, attempted to bed Chan. Being the overprotective younger sister she was, Kari quickly cut off one of Sera’s hands at the wrist. ‘Do not covet something nor someone far above you…’ Kari warned the redhead.

Y/N shuddered at the memory. The sounds of Sera’s ear piercing blood curtling screams began to echo in her mind. “Where else would she have gotten it?” A blonde girl, Naeun, snickered “Her fiancè is the future Duke. Of course he wouldn't want her to wear her normal rags…” Y/N felt her blood run cold at the mention of Chan as she stares blankly at the teacup. She could imagine her mothers expression from the table across the garden. She knew proper etiquette; she should just drink the tea but, the idea of raising a single cup from this home has her growing weary. Kari had a target on her back for a long time. Y/N herself did not know for sure how long ago Kari’s hatred of her began. She couldn't be sure if her life was safe at the moment. Kari stared at her mischievously, “Is the tea not to your liking?” Y/N instinctively perked up as she lifted the cup to her lips taking a hesitant sip. “My apologies,” Y/N stated graciously “I must have lost myself for a moment.” Kari raised her eyebrow, a smirk hidden behind her teacup. “Beside that, I heard you recently became acquainted with our Knight, Hyunjin, has he lived up to your expectations?” Kari questioned innocently. “Beyond, as you may have heard I will be married soon, I recently heard he will be marrying his fiancé shortly after becoming my escort. What a lovely couple I will have serve me, I felt it was best to become acquainted prior so they could enjoy a honeymoon. I'd be honored for them to serve me on their return. ” Y/N countered politely.

“I’m sure you would…” Sera chimed.

“Pardon?”

“Nothing, it's just—it has been said you adore beautiful men so it wouldn't be surprising that Hyunjin is the first knight you approach…” Sera snides as the rest of the table begins to whisper amongst themselves. Y/N fought the need to groan “Are you insinuating something?” She questioned gracefully. Sera smirks as she flashes Kari a side-eye before responding when Kari nods subtly “I feel it is unbecoming of the future Dutchess to be involved in such a scandal. Imagine the embarrassment your fiancè must feel…” Y/N couldn't hold back her snicker “I expect you would know more about something like that, no? And the only ‘beautiful men’ I have been seen with are my future guard, my brother, and my fiancè. ” Y/N raises her eyebrow as she stares Sera down. “Your brother? Isn't he a fugitive?” Naeun questions worriedly as the group continues to whisper. “For what crime?” Sera questions with a look of concern. If there was anything Y/N could give to these three; it was their knack for theatrics. “Sodomy. He lies with men, but how could it be helped he comes from a perverse family.” Naeun gossiped. Y/N feels her blood boil, turning to Kari she lifts herself from her seat. “I must apologize. It seems I have not been as well as it seemed” She states before she quickly turns away from the table and makes her way back toward her carriage. She could feel three sets of eyes burning holes into her back as she made her escape.

Staring at nothing but the ground she walked away attempting to remain as invisible as possible. No wonder Chan changed so much…what else must he have heard back then? Have I always seemed so….disgusting? What did my brother do wrong? He was an amazing person, why did who he loved matter to everyone else? How could anyone be so nasty? A wall of muscle pulls her out of her thoughts as she collides with someone. “My apologies…” she squeaks as she pulls away attempting to make another escape due to her embarrassment. Her eyes widen when she feels two strong hands on her waist holding her steady. Her eyes trail from the broad firm chest covered by the black petticoat embroidered with golden tassels, up to their face. Her heart pounds rapidly against her chest as she comes face-to-face with her fiancè. “No, I should have been paying better attention but I grew distracted.” Chan apologized, his tone laced with something unfamiliar to her. “D-Distracted?” Y/N felt herself growing overwhelmed and panicked. It had been so long since I had last seen him…She thinks to herself Has he always been this beautiful? She shakes the thought out of her head as she feels Chan caress her cheek. His eyes never leave hers as he gives her a small smile. Why are you looking at me like that? She wonders.

“Yes, I was entranced by the view and lost myself”

A squeak is released from her throat as Chan pulls her into his chest. “Y-Your grace?” she exclaimed in shock. She feels Chan freeze for a moment, his hands coming to hold her shoulders as he pulls back. His eyebrows furrow together as he leans in close and examines her face intently. Embarrassment fills her stomach as her cheeks become a bright scarlet “C-Channie?” the nickname falls out of her mouth uncontrollably. Chan’s eyes brighten as his lips spread into a widen grin. “What a relief….” He whispers to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing, where are you going? Are you still not feeling well?”

“Unfortunately, so I am returning home.” Y/N lies. Chan stares at her with an almost desperate and heartbroken look. “N-No! But—why don't you lay down inside?” Chan suggests panickedly. Y/N stares at him bewildered. Who is this man? The Chan I know would have never suggested for me to rest here. “It would be best for me to return home…” she answers calmly. “Why? If it is about privacy, your room has been prepared for you already.” He responds casually. Y/N stared at him confused. My room? Before…i never had a room. Just guest room after guest room until I was banished to the annex…. “M-My room?”

“Yes? We are to be married in 7 days time. Why would you not have a room?”

“I—we aren't married yet…”

“You sound quite relieved about that….” Chan states with a sad pout. Y/N stares at him bewildered “Pardon?” a smirk forms on his lips “Was I wrong? You won't abandon me at the altar, correct?” he chuckles. Y/N doesn't say anything, just frozen in place with his arm wrapped around her waist as he leads her toward the manor. Her mouth hung open “That was not funny was it? My apologies” Chan states nervously as he escorts her inside. “Y-Your grace…it would be quite inappropriate for me to stay here. I will be returning home, my apologies” Y/N states trying to sound firm and still graceful as she turns to walk back toward her carriage. Chan grips her wrist softly “Y/N, wait! Please.” Y/N forces her wrist out of his hand. “Unhand me! Listen, and listen well…I don't wish to marry you. A marriage to you means too much and I don't want that responsibility. I don't want to be the Dutchess nor do I wish to continue to be held with such contempt by so many people. If you haven't heard, I'm not worthy of such a title. And I'm not going to risk my life to be married to you.” She growls trying to hold herself together. Chan stares at her wide-eyed for a moment before his eyes darken “What? What are you talking about? Who said you aren't worthy of that title?” Y/N shakes her head, “Do not mind that. Just know, that I will not marry you with joy and acceptance in my heart…”

“What happened? Tell me. Now.”

“Why must something have happened?”

“Were you going to answer a single one of my questions?” Chan retorts a menacing tone in his voice as he enters the garden with Y/N hot on his heels. “Your Grace, please, it is nothing..” She pleads with him as the laughter from the garden begins to ring through her ears. “Your grace!” Chan continues to ignore her as he walks straight up to Kari. “Pardon me ladies, but I must speak with my dear sister….” Chan states menacingly as he grips Kari’s arm lifting her from her seat and pulling her toward the Manor. “What is this about?” Kari questions, her eyes wide as fear takes over her features. As he passes a knight he leans over to him “Show Lady Y/N L/N to her room.” He commands in a whispered tone. “And do not allow her to leave until I've spoken with her.” The knight walks over to Y/N, “This way, My lady” He gestures toward the path she had just taken. With a reluctant nod, Y/N follows him.

“Y-Your grace…it would be quite inappropriate for me to stay here. I will be returning home, my apologies”

Chan’s heart sinks, No…You can't! Why? Why do you want to leave so bad? I've finally seen you, you're finally here in front of me….why are you behaving like this? His hand reaches out instinctively as she turns away, gripping her wrist softly “Y/N, wait! Please.” An ache forces its way through his chest as she pulls her wrist out of his hand. “Unhand me! Listen, and listen well…I don't wish to marry you.” Lies… “ A marriage to you means too much and I don't want that responsibility.” You can't be telling me the truth! You have to be lying…. “ I don't want to be the Dutchess nor do I wish to continue to be held with such contempt by so many people.” What? Contempt? My beloved…. “If you haven't heard, I'm not worthy of such a title. And I'm not going to risk my life to be married to you.” She growls trying to hold herself together. Chan stares at her wide-eyed for a moment before his eyes darken, I’ll kill them all… “What? What are you talking about? Who said you aren't worthy of that title?” His tone full of venom, his blood boils when Y/N only shakes her head and tries to wave him off “Do not mind that. Just know, that I will not marry you with joy and acceptance in my heart…” This couldn't be true, not after everything he had done. Not before he could make amends. Something….something had to have happened.

“What happened? Tell me. Now.”

“Why must something have happened?”

“Y-You wouldn't be like this….You love me. What happened? Tell me and I can correct it. Who said you aren't worthy of being the Dutchess? Was it someone at Kari’s party?” Chan questions his anger growing more and more evident. He notices the way she flinches at the mention of Kari’s party. That conniving little rodent! Seething at the way Y/N had a flash of fear when it came to this simple party. She should have been fine! She should have been safe! Kari’s hatred ran much deeper than I expected….He thinks to himself as he brushes past Y/N making his way toward the entrance to the garden. “Where are you going?” Y/N questions worriedly. He shakes his head to himself as he ignores her and continues walking. “It is unbecoming of the future Duke to just abruptly end a conversation by walking away…”

“Were you going to answer a single one of my questions?” Chan retorts a menacing tone in his voice as he enters the garden with Y/N hot on his heels. “Your Grace, please, it is nothing..” She pleads with him as his sister comes into his view, seeing nothing but red he makes his way over to his sister. “Your grace!” Chan continues to ignore Y/N as he stands in front of Kari. “Pardon me ladies, but I must speak with my dear sister….” Chan states menacingly, taking note of the fearful and guilty way she looked back at his fiancè before he grasps Kari’s arm lifting her from her seat and pulling her toward the Manor. “What is this about?” Kari questions, her eyes wide as fear takes over her features. Good….Time for you to learn your place here…He seethes as he passes a knight he leans over to him “Show Lady Y/N L/N to her room.” He commands in a whispered tone. “And do not allow her to leave until I've spoken with her.” Chan continues making his way into the manor with Kari.

“You can't just embarrass me like this!” Kari whines as she stomps her foot while the butlers open the main door.

“You cannot handle a fraction of the embarrassment you've caused Lady Y/N?!” He growls. “I do not understand, brother please just explain…” Kari stammered nervously. “Do you think me a fool?” Chan snaps as he grabs a vase and chucks it against the wall “Which one of those women told my fiance she is not worthy of our marriage?” Kari stares at him wide-eyed, her anger and fury decorating her features. “She may hear worse things when she becomes the Dutchess. She cannot run to you every time someone says something rude! And a lowly—whore like her is not worthy of becoming the Dutchess” She argues. Chan draws his sword as his eyes burn with a passionate rage “If you wish for your tongue to remain in your mouth, I would stop speaking”

“I am your sister! I am your true family! You would betray your blood for some pathetic Count's daughter? Placing someone so—so dirty in that position is an insult to our entire lineage!” Kari argues, Chan knows this could be dangerous. Y/N could be hurt faster by him pissing his sister off but between finding out just the fraction of what Y/N was put through at the hands of his sister before she died, and Y/N brushing him off because of his sister and her antics; his rage could not be contained any longer. “You have no need to worry, I will handle her and she knows I would like to speak with her after the party.” Kari continues. “No. You've proven too lenient with your friends, bring her to me. You have until the end of the day!” Chan declares.

“No! You’re going to be too harsh on her when she said nothing untrue! Lady Y/N is not worthy of being the Dutchess. Just from her family’s reputation alone she should not be permitted to be in that position! There is nothing honorable about bringing a crazy incoherent count, a vile and ignorant countess nor their sodomite son into our family and tainting it with their blood! She’s dirty and tainted because they are!” Kari snaps

“Have you forgotten who chose this engagement?! You volatile spoiled little child! I have gifted you leniency because father always concerns himself with your health but your insolence will stop now. You are to stay in the rose annex until you've repented by bringing me the one that said the fiancè chosen by both me and the current Dutchess is unworthy; Only then will your punishment be lifted.” Chan states firmly as he walks away from the foyer leaving Kari burning with a passionate rage in her stomach.

“You can't just do this to me! Because of one whore?!”

“Guards, bring my sister to the rose annex. She is to stay there until the one that has spoken such blasphemous words has been dealt with.” Chan ignores her as he makes his way to Y/Ns room on the second level of the Manor. His heart races as he knocks trying to quell his anger. “Come in…” Y/N calls monotonously. Chan hesitates for a moment. Has she calmed down? Will she pull away again? He sighs heavily as he pushes the door open. Y/N sat by the window staring blankly out of it, “May I return home?” She questions softly. “You should rest for a while and return home after…” He suggests kindly, as he strides across the room, his hand caressing her lower back. Y/N continues to stare out the window. Chan's eyes wander over her face. His heart fluttered as he embedded every inch of her face into his memory. The beautiful sunset hues that painted the room, she looked ethereal.

I have to get out of here....

Y/N thought to herself. She could feel Chan's eyes burning holes into her face. Confusion flowed through her. Why was he behaving so.....oddly? For the first time in a long time, she prayed her mother would be looking for her. She felt Chan shift, his arms wrapping around her waist as he leaned on her slightly. She notices the soft inhale he does as he nuzzles against her neck. "Y-Your grace?" She questions nervously as she steps forward slightly releasing his grip on her. "My apologies..." Chan smirks subtly "I was entranced by such beauty and behaved according to my own desires" he states flirtatiously. Y/N stares at him, her cheeks flushed as a bewildered gaze is painted on her features. What?....He couldn't be talking about....me? right? She wondered, How can he be so different than before? "W-well, I would like to request that you please refrain from such things, i-it is inappropriate and can be misunderstood" Y/N stammers nervously. She mentally palms herself for allowing her nerves to show.

"What could be misunderstood between a betrothed couple?" Chan argues his frustration grows at her behavior.

"Our marriage has not been officiated....we are not husband and wife currently, Your Grace. Therefore, Things can be misunderstood. You would not like if my reputation is ruined any more than it already is, would you?" She questions graciously as she turns to sit at the small loveseat in the center of the room. Chan remains where he stood by the window, his fists clenched at his sides. "Is that why you're reluctant to allow me to be close to you? What others would say?" He questions behind gritted teeth. Y/N can feel the room grow colder as she turns to look at Chan. His jaw was clenched as he stared out the window. "People say horrid things about me as it is. i would prefer to not be the topic of gossip." She states softly.

"Our wedding is in 7 days..." Chan states innocently. A pure, excited look on his features as he perks up. Her eyes widen, "Pardon?" her voice squeaks in shock. Chan's eyebrows raise as he approaches the loveseat and rests his hand on your shoulder. "Is a week's time too long?" He questions excitedly. She turns to face him a look of bewilderment on her features. "Your Grace..." Y/N sighs as she stares at her lap "I don't understand...."

"You said you would be worried about what people said about my behavior since we haven't officiated our marriage. I can hold the ceremony tomorrow if you wish." He states with an innocent pout. Who is this man? She wonders to herself. The wedding is supposed to be in a week. What does he mean, he could hold it tomorrow? Why is everything so different? Everything has changed....does that mean I can live? "Your Grace...I believe you have misunderstood me. I said I would be concerned about my reputation due to your behavior since I will not be marrying you" She states boldly. She feels his hand tense on her shoulder. "W-what?" He questions with a stammer.

"I was going to send a letter but since I was able to meet you here, I would like to request that you annual our engagement" She states coldly as she stares forward at the door. Chan feels his heart drop into his stomach. Y/N can feel his eyes boring holes into the back of her head. It sat quiet for what felt like hours before Chan released her and made his way out of the room without saying a word.

Y/N released the breath that caught in her throat. Relief washes over her as she gains the ability to breathe freely. Taking the opportunity, Y/N rushes out of the room and into the foyer where the workers freeze momentarily. Their eyes burn into her and she remembers their judgmental gazes from before. The way they'd eagerly follow Kari's command and torment her in their own ways. I can't stay here...Just through this door...She willed herself as she continued to run through the front door and onto the front lawn, seeing her carriage just past the gate; she walked quickly toward it. intercepting her mother who was being escorted into it. she avoids her mother's glare as she sits in the seat. Letting out a sigh of relief at her escape, she flinches quickly as her mother's hand connects with her cheek.

Chan's hands shook at his side as he rushed through the corridors. This cannot be true he thinks she has to be lying. Someone had to have said something to her. Chan couldn't process her words even as they continue to replay in his mind.

'I would like to request that you annual our engagement'

The words torment him as he searches profusely for Felix. This isn't right...This can't be possible. She loves me, she has always loved me. Why wouldn't she want to marry me? He rushes down the stairs to the back sunroom, he notices the familiar mop of blonde hair. Felix stood in the garden staring out of the gate as he watched a carriage as it left. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he stood with his hands cupped together behind his back. "Felix!" Chan calls, panicked as he rushes toward his aide. Felix stares at Chan with a look of concern. "What do you remember about the countess from your previous marriage to Lady Y/N?" Felix asks curiously. Chan freezes for a moment, "N-Not much, She died a year or two after our marriage. Y/N didn't go to her funeral..." He explains. Felix sighs, his head resting in his hand. "No...she wasn't permitted to leave at that time..." The blonde mutters quietly. Chan's eyes widen "On whose authority?"

"Yours. Your Grace" Felix snides "It was during your first monster hunting expedition"

"Anyway," Chan waves off his words not wanting to remember his brutish behavior "What about the countess? Has she become unruly?"

"She struck Lady Y/N...." Felix states bewildered "Quite harshly I may add" Chan's blood boils at Felix's words. She what? Chan feels his heart sink in his stomach. Did Y/N get hit often? Is this why she doesn't want to marry me? Chan's jaw clenches as his right hand instinctively reaches for his sword. "What?" He questions. Felix's eyes darken, "My contact in the County informed me it was a normal occurrence. Lady Y/N has endured harsh beatings from the Countess for many years on occasion having many bruises to the point she cannot appear in public" He states with a concerned and guilty tone. Chan's throat tightens, No that can't be true...That means before...

"Your Grace, did you know?"

"How could I have known? Even when we were in my chambers at night, I had to remain distant because of Kari's spies. We wouldn't really talk we'd just--" Chan stops speaking as the memory of their nights together flashes back through his mind. His cheeks turn a bright scarlet at the memory. The nights he was only able to express how he felt through his actions. He could vividly remember how it felt to caress her soft skin as she held onto him for dear life. He could remember her whimpers and the way she'd hold back her moans. Blood rushed to his head as Felix snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Erhm--That aside, Your Grace. If Lady Y/N is not safe even in her familial home, we may have to exert our authority and bring her here sooner." Felix reluctantly suggests. "She'd rather die...That is what she would say I believe...." Chan murmurs. "Your Grace?" Felix questions as he looks at the young future duke's distressed expression. Chan's heart felt heavy if his beloved had to live through a heavy hand and torturous life with her family too; he felt as if his world completely shattered. He should have paid closer attention after they had gotten married. He should have realized the way she always flinched when someone moved too quickly next to her in their previous life. He wished he could kick himself in the throat for the way he treated the woman he loved so deeply. There were only so many times he felt he could brush off his behavior as 'protecting Y/N from his sister' and he knew that. He became a horrible tyrant and treated Y/N as if she were a doll. She deserved more, He knew he could have done better. He should have been better.

Though his heart ached terribly, he could understand why. Her words as she lay dying in front of him repeating through his mind. If I could do it all over again…I'd have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…He couldn't understand, did Felix's magic not work properly. She wasn't supposed to reject marrying him, if anything she should be ecstatic at the idea of him moving their wedding up. "Your Grace?" Felix questions as he places his hand on Chan's shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Apologies, what did you say?"

"Why would Y/N say she'd rather die than come here sooner? Your meeting with her is supposed to be in two days" Felix asks puzzledly. "She requests I annual our engagement..." Chan states dejectedly. Felix looks at him befuddled "That's impossible...." His aide states under his breath. Felix quickly turns away from Chan rushing deeper into the Manor. Chan's eyes widen as he follows behind his aide, He follows Felix toward the Staff's quarters and into the basement where Felix's lab sits. He quickly pulls a large box from a bookshelf and places it on his desk. Letting let out a shaky breath, Felix brought his index and middle to his lips, his eyes closing and soon the box glowed a bright sapphire blue, the top of the box opened and there sat a large glowing purple orb. "Ae-ra...." Felix grits as he clenches his fist. As he grips the side of his desk "That sneaky minx..."

"What? What happened?" Chan questions in confusion. Felix sighs "Ae-ra lied. She said she wouldn't tamper with Lady Y/N's memories, but her magic signature is here." Chan's heart sinks, "No...you said that this would be--Well, My wife seems to have me evenly matched" Felix cuts him off frustratedly. Chan notices the familiar jealousy, from the pair's relationship over the years. The two personal aides are the only connection between Chan and his wife. Chan was not surprised that their petty rivalry soon turned into love and then marriage. It was not a secret that Ae-ra was opposed to Felix turning back time with only the three memories intact. Chan couldn't argue with Y/N's closest confidant at the time. Ae-ra had been there for his beloved when he couldn't, of course, she'd find it wrong to not allow her Lady to have free will and knowledge of her fate.

*First Timeline- Y/N's Death....*

"Please! " Ae-ra cried her eyes widening as Y/N's head rested on her lap. Chan couldn't believe what happened. He sat frozen in shock and despair as Ae-ra continued to shout "Do something!" Her panicked and coarse screams pull Chan out of his daze. He lifted himself from the couch and dropped to his knees, his hands wrapping around his beloved as he lifted her from her maid's lap and held her tight. She stared up at him her eyes almost completely lifeless, "Y/N?!" He calls his voice trembling as he hears a small croak from her lips. He leans in to her trying to listen for any more signs of life. His eyes widen as he feels her torso tighten for a moment before he feels a warm liquid on his cheek. Ae-ra stares at him wide-eyed, their eyes connect for a moment before Ae-ra extends her handkerchief to him before she lifts herself from the floor and rushes out of the room toward the knights "Someone help me please?!" she screams as she disappears.

Chan can feel the eyes of the maids on him as he holds Y/n's lifeless body against him. His eyes darken as he looks at his staff "Why are you just sitting there?!" He growls. Felix's deep voice booms as he orders the maids to clean and find a doctor for the Dutchess. Chan sat frozen as he held Y/N close to him. Tears build in his eyes as he silently pleads to Y/N. Please…I'm begging you, Open your eyes! His body aches as his regrets fill him. "Felix, Get the maid that did this. I don't see her" Chan demands in a panic. Felix nods with a serious expression, and with a snap of his fingers, he disappears leaving a trail of blue smoke in his wake. Chan didn't expect any of this when he returned home. He pleaded with God to make him wake up from this horrible dream. It felt like hours before Ae-ra returned and Chan was forcibly taken away to be cleaned and have Y/N treated. But he knew...though he wanted to deny it. His beloved was gone, She died believing he didn't love her.....

That he wished she was gone.......

He cried harshly as he sat outside of Y/N's room. The doctor was pale as he explained that Y/N was no longer alive. Chan felt like he couldn't breathe, How could this be? How could God be this cruel? I was so close, so close to having her protection guaranteed. I was so close to fixing everything and spending the rest of my life making up for my mistakes. How could she just be gone? Why didn't he just stay with her? He quickly rushed into the room, shouting for the staff to leave. His eyes were bloodshot and his face stained with tears as he rushed beside her body. If he didn't know any better, he'd believe she was just sleeping. His hand hesitantly reached out for hers, grasping it for dear life. His sobs leave him trembling as he feels his legs turn to jelly before he drops to his knees. His free hand caresses her head as he cries.

"I-I'm so sorry....." His voice is trembling as his grip grows tighter on her hand "Honey....I'm sorry. P-Please....w-wake up...Honey...I was wrong. I did wrong and I'm so sorry so please--just open your eyes. Y-you can scold me for being mean l-like w-when we were kids....I-I deserve it. I was so mean for so long so please just scold me or hit me or something, please. Please tell me I'm not too late. Honey, j-just s-say my name one more time? P-please? Y-you c-can't j-just leave me behind without doing that right? Please j-just open your eyes and say C-Channie....Y/N..."

Ae-ra felt empty as she tried to maintain her professionalism. She stood beside her mistress with a heavy heart. Mentally, she was in almost as much denial as the Duke. She held herself together with the thought that her mistress was just asleep, but she knew the truth. No matter how much healing magic or potions she used, Her Grace was not waking up from this slumber. She knew, there were going to be questions. Eyes were going to be on her, she was the closest person to the Dutchess. The only person with unlimited access, she was lucky to not have been hauled off the moment the doctor had declared her mistress passing. She struggled to hold back tears as the Duke cried over his lost love. Her heart ached for the couple, knowing how hard their circumstances and the Duke's negligence had been for her lady. Ae-ra feels she could make peace if the Duke suffers for the rest of his days. Though she knew it was wrong, She wished the Duke to endure the suffering her mistress had been through in the 10 years of their marriage, She hoped he would die feeling alone and unloved, just like her mistress. These things that could never be voiced out loud, Ae-ra held her breath and tears hoping time would pass quickly and she would be dismissed to her room shortly. Feeling her emotions boiling over, she sighs hopelessly.

Chan's head perks up at the sound of someone sighing. He notices Y/N's maid, Ae-ra, standing on the other side of the bed. He stares at the maid with sad guilt-ridden eyes. A mournful pout on his lips as he looks at Ae-ra feeling remorseful as he notices her struggling to hold herself together. "Ae-ra...." He sighs, and the maid stares at him with worried eyes. "Y-Your Grace, Do you need something?" She asks trying to mask her grief.

"Y/N loved you," Chan states his voice soft and comforting. "You shouldn't be here right now. You should rest." Ae-ra shakes her head rapidly. "I-I will be beside Her Grace until her body is with god as well....I-if that is permitted, Your Grace." She states hesitantly. "A-and I need to be near for the investigation" Chan furrows his eyebrows. "Investigation?"

Ae-ra nods nervously "Yes, Your Grace..."

"Into you?"

"Yes, Your Grace"

"Ae-ra, You were the Dutchess' closest aide. You cared for her passionately and worked hard under her. You are the last person I would investigate in this matter. Go rest, Y/N would want you to rest." He states sullenly. Ae-ra stares at the Duke with a glum expression. "Your Grace?" Chan looks at the maid with a grief-stricken pout. "Her Grace had requested me not to inform you but considering....The Young Lady of the Manor has requested for the knights to refrain from attending their posts here at the annex. Perhaps whoever had done this knew about the minimal security." Ae-ra suggested her voice just above a whisper, hoping the Duke understood her intention and turned his attention toward his sister. "Kari will be dealt with if that's what you're concerning yourself with," Chan states darkly as his eyes glaze over with murderous intent. Ae-ra nods, not saying anything else as she bows to her employer before exiting the room. As she closes the door behind her, tears build in her eyes as she loses feeling in her legs and collapses to the ground in a puddle of tears.

*First Timeline- One Week After Y/N's Death*

"If I could do it all over again…I'd have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…"

Those words have replayed in Chan's mind for hours now. The way her voice gurgled as she choked on her blood. He felt sick as he remembered her voice in her final moments. Why did he have to be here? Who was brave enough to help Kari go through with this? His mind raced as his heart ached uncontrollably. "My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…" He hated to admit it, but under those circumstances, he regretted it too. He wasn't the husband he should have been. He was negligent, he should have done more. He should have realized the fear she had to have had with how ruthless his sister could be. He never expected this though.

The reality of her absence is already becoming too much to bear. He couldn't understand what happened. How could she have been poisoned? He had been right there, staring at her. He was looking at her, he should have noticed the way she coughed. How hard it was for her to speak after she had drank her tea. When the blood flowed out of her mouth, he couldn't move due to his shock. Not even 10 minutes with her and now there's no more time. She's gone.....How could she be gone?

He hears a small panicked yelp as the door slams open forcefully, Chan's eyes finally leaving his beloved's portrait. He sees Felix standing there, his face stoic as the maid that had given Y/N her tea kneeled with her back to his aide as Felix's hand grips her hair harshly. "This is the rodent that has caused the commotion today" Felix states coldly, Chan lifts him from the ground as he stares at the maid. Her face is so prominently familiar in his mind, that he can't help but let out a mad laugh at the nerve of his temperamental sister. He takes slow predatory steps toward the maid, who looks up at him with fearful eyes. Felix's blood boils at her impertinence "You dare raise your head with all you've done!?" A bright sapphire light emanates from the mage as he forces the maid to the ground with a snap of his fingers, metal cuffs encase the maid's hands and ankles; pinning her to the ground. The maid trembles fearfully "Y-Your G-Grace, H-Have mercy...." she pleads tearfully as Felix snaps his fingers again and a large sapphire chain erupts from the ground encasing the maid's neck.

"Mercy!?" Felix growls as the chains begin to slowly tighten around the woman's neck. Chan chuckles darkly as he leans forward gripping the maid by her bun in the back of her head pulling her closer as he stares into her eyes. His eyes glow a bright scarlet "Did you grant Y/N such a courtesy?"

The maid gasps not expecting the question. "I-I....uhm"

"Fine. Tell me who ordered you to give the tea to the Dutchess?" Chan questions "If it proves to be useful, I shall grant mercy" The maid's eyes widen, the cogs in her head turning. Chan knows no matter her tenure as Kari's aide for all these years, the life of this commoner mattered more to her than her loyalties to his sister. "T-The h-head maid...S-she said the Lady had requested tea...Y-your Grace, I-I didn't know. Please, Your Grace, forgive me for this oversight" The brunette stammered. Felix and Chan's eyes connect for a moment, their silent communication clear. Chan nods to the mage, who releases the maid's bonds. She breathes a sigh of relief, placing her forehead on the ground. A small chuckle is released from her throat as she looks up at Chan. "T-Thank you, Your Gr--" Her words are cut off as Chan plunges a dagger through her throat. The maid gags as she stares at Chan wide-eyed. Blood fills her mouth as she begins gagging and breathing in her blood. Her pleads are covered by gurgles.

"Now you know, such oversites cannot be forgiven.....Dog." Chan states coldly as he twists the dagger roughly and kicks her off the blade by her shoulder. Felix stares at the body with dark cold eyes. "Lady Kari seems to have been taking advantage of your absence, Your Grace. Shall I finish this?" Felix questions gesturing toward the maid who was gurgling and gasping for air on the ground. His eyes glowed a bright sapphire.

"Did the Dutchess have such mercy?" Chan questions darkly as he takes one of Y/N's handkerchiefs from his lapel wiping the blood from his hands as he kneels over the maid. "They deserve to know the suffering they put my wife through until her final moments" Chan states. Felix smirks darkly at his master before nodding and walking toward the door.

"Wait," Chan calls as he stares at the maid continue to gurgle and gag, her body trembling as she struggles to breathe due to the blood continuously going into her windpipe. Felix halts his movements turning toward Chan. "Yes, Your Grace?"

"When harm is done to one's pet, it is proper etiquette to return the corpse and inform the owner, yes?" Chan states with a mischievous smirk as he walks toward the window he notices his sister sitting in the garden, her maids beside her as they enjoy tea. "And Kari seems so possessive of those dogs of hers. It would only be right" He finishes as he clenches his fist. Felix nods in understanding before he pulls a seal out from his inline pocket and places it on the dying maid's body, lifting his index and middle finger in front of his lips he closes his eyes as the sapphire light glows brightly and the pair disappear.

Chan feels his blood boiling as he watches his sister laughing with her parasitic friends. How dare she?! He knew his sister's temper could be considered tyrannical. She rarely allowed even her closest maids to make a mistake, yet Chan thought as long as he could keep a distance from Y/N, she'd be safe from his sister's wrath at not becoming the heir. A smirk formed on his lips as Felix's blue sapphire light shined over the table and Kari's personal maid's corpse lay in the middle of it. The noble women begin panicking scurrying away from the blood-soaked table like roaches, their fearful screams echoing through the garden. But Chan kept his eyes firmly on Kari, who sat bewildered at the head of the table as Felix politely bowed to her and transported away after a brief exchange. He watched as Kari glared at the corpse in utter shock and disbelief. Knowing his actions ignited a fire in Kari, Chan felt thrilled.

"Well, sister, you wanted to be the Dutchess so bad.....I'll be sure you know exactly how My Dutchess felt."

Flashback: One month after Y/N's Death

“Let me go! Do you not know your place?!” Kari growled as Felix continued to stand stone-faced. He sighed before continuing to bring Kari to his Master's office. Kari fumes as she continues to struggle with her hands tied behind her back with Felix's magic. Felix opens the door, Chan's seated at the center of the room. Aera stood beside him, placing a cup of tea in front of him. "Unhand me!" Kari growls as Felix sits her in front of Chan's desk. "What is the meaning of this?" Kari snaps at her brother. Chan gestures for Felix to release Kari's hands.

"My apologies, my dear sister but You have been refusing to see me for a long time" Chan states with a faux sincerity. "I had to take such measures to see my precious sister, it's made me wonder" His eyes darken as he stares at the brunette. "Have you been avoiding me? One would think, you've done something wrong....." He raises his eyebrow in amusement.

Kari stares at him blankly "I've chosen to undertake a vow of silence.." She states as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Shall I send a letter to the convent then?" Chan retorts smugly. Aera places a cup of tea in front of Kari. "I must thank you for your concern but please graciously accept my apologies... I'm in mourning I've lost two dear maids of mine" Kari smirks as she watches Aera closely.

Chan notices the subtly purple aura growing around the maid, and he taps on his desk twice, a signal to Aera to stand down. Kari stares daggers at the maid. Mumbling something inaudible under her breath; Kari stares down at the cup, her nerves slightly making her hands tremble. Chan knew, his sister's fear of retaliation made her guilt evident. Kari sighs before taking a hesitant sip. It was her! She was the mastermind, there was no doubt in his mind that the sister he held so dear through the years, had murdered the woman that he loved. His blood ran cold at his sister's nonchalance, he knew she had a brother complex and she felt a form of jealousy when she noticed his closeness to his fiance. How he wished he had chosen Y/N, and realized Kari's tyranny sooner. How could he let 10 years go by without taking his beloved in his arms a single time and telling her how much he loved her? and now, because of the girl in front of him vying for his position as the head of the family, Y/N was gone.

Chan had Aera and Felix preserve her body for as long as they could, but their magic was fading, and Y/N had begun to decay in her bed. He was at his wit's end, though the foolish maid had been dealt with, no commoner would make such a brazen move in front of a Duke without the backing of a powerful noble. The head maid had escaped the Dutchy before Chan could reach her as well, His frustration grew as time passed and he was unable to punish those he deemed responsible for his wife's mistreatment and subsequent death. Though he knew who was the true one responsible...It was his fault. His lack of awareness of his sister's brazen and bold temperament, his choice to spend more time at war and on expeditions, pushing her away.

He was the one truly responsible for his beloved's death. Though Kari was the one who signed her death warrant, He's the reason Kari did not know her place. Why her ambitions went further than they should have. But the longer he stared at her smug smirk as she crossed her arms and glared at him; the more he could feel his hand slowly inching toward his sword sitting on his hip. "Why did you have this brutish mage bring me here? I am supposed to go to the imperial palace the second princess is hosting the book club." Kari whines a small pout on her innocent-looking face.

"Nightshade is quite the flower isn't it?" Chan questions softly.

Kari looks at him with confusion "You've brought me here to discuss flowers? Brother, shall I have someone retrieve the doctor?" Chan smirks mischievously as his eyes darken "Did you forget who was your instructor on poisons? You seem to be quite proud to boast about your garden with many flowers to your friends, belladonna being your favorite correct? Y/N was killed by such a plant..." he states monotonously he pulls his sword from its holster pointing it directly at Kari's neck with a small flick of his wrist a small cut forms in the center.

"B-brother, The dutchess crossed the line too many times to be forgiven. she was weak, she was not fit to be by your side, but I would n-never!" Kari stammered in utter shock. Chan scanned his sister up and down for a moment, he knew she was lying. He knows it is her, but he has no evidence at this moment. The Crown Princess may support him, but not for unjustifiable homicide. Resisting the urge to swiftly remove Kari's head from her shoulders, he brings his sword back into its holster. He stares at Kari menacingly "If I learn otherwise...You will become permanently acquainted with my sword."

With her eyes wide and pleading Kari stares up at him "You jest..." she states in disbelief as her heart sinks into her stomach. "I do not....Orchestrating the murder of the Dutchess is punishable by death by order of the Emperor, as his most loyal vassal and valent knight I must hold his word true." He challenges her as he takes her chin between his forefinger and thumb. "I look forward to the day you admonish yourself, sister" He states the relationship almost like a taunt as he stands above her, a smug smirk on his lips as he grows giddy at the thought of plunging his dagger right into her petite throat. He finds the strength in him to hold back, lest he massacre the whole Manor.

Kari looks furious at his words "Does the crown mean more to you than your blood, brother? The Dutchy stood long before this Emperor's reign and shall stand tall long after his line is gone, his word is no more than a mere fallacy."

"You will do your best to mind your tongue...That is the ruler of this Empire and I will not be considered treasonous due to your insolence! And just remember, sister, that it is that very blood that courses through your veins that protects you from my sword at this moment" He snaps at her. Kari stares at him her anger evident in her expression as she straightens her back. "And you will do your best to remember I am not one to be challenged" Her voice laced with a warning "The most beautiful things in this world are also the most lethal, for it is their beauty that lulls you into a sense of security, Brother" her eyebrow raised as Chan feels his gut bubble in amusement as he imagines himself running his dagger over his sister's cheek and removing that beauty she spoke of.

"What is a beauty without their embellishments?" He questions as he rests on his chin. "Many in this world learn too late, their place. I should surely hope with the way you've been raised, it will not be too late when you learn yours. For what are you without the Bang family name but a pretty face? I hope for your friend's sake you do not forget this fact." He states as he raises his eyebrow challenging her to speak against him. When she sits quietly he continues his anger growing as each word spews from his lips " You are well past the age for you to have been married. You do not spend your days like a proper noblewoman yet speak like your place is anywhere but at the convent...You wished to be the heir yet never married and birthed an heir to the family line. You spend your days drinking tea as you gossip with your friends, and you have the gall to discuss our Emperor? Sister, I've protected you and sacrificed everything I had for you but you refuse to become anything but a disappointment. I should surely hope a month in the rose annex shall help you understand your wrongdoings......"

"No!" Kari argues as knights make their way over to her. "You cannot do this to me! I've done nothing wrong." Her face was red with rage as she tried to avoid the knights' grasp but she could not fight against their strength and speed.

"You will regret this!" Kari exclaims as she is dragged out of the office with a flurry of curses. Chan lets out a heavy sigh as silence falls over the room. He reaches for a small cup on his desk, slightly tilting it to its side he pulls out Y/N's wedding ring. Staring at the object his heart breaks once again. How could he have lost her? How could he go on without her? He feels his breathing grow heavier. He needed to return to her. He hated every moment he had to step out of that room. He felt like he couldn't breathe if he wasn't by her side. He couldn't understand how terribly it ached every time he crossed that threshold.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, pulling him from sinking deeper and deeper into despair. His eyes trail up the petite hand and he sees Aera's comforting yet grieving smile beaming back at him and a small purple glow emanates from her hand. A warmth fills his body and he feels his heart relax. "Thank you, Aera. Truly you have been a wonderful help" He gives her a gentle nod, signaling that he's okay.

"It is my duty, My lord" Aera states formally as she bows.

"Your husband being a stickler about the rules again?" Chan jokes to her trying to lighten the mood and Aera nods in response. "Behave the way you did with the Dutchess, if she acknowledged your competence then your husband should too. You are doing his work for him...." Aera nods as she bows. "I shall bring you tea in the Dutchess' room, Your Grace."

Chan gives her a soft smile "That sounds wonderful"

*Flashback-Later that day*

Aera walked calmly toward the Dutchess room in the Main House. She felt her heartache as she knew Y/N never got to experience what her husband truly wished for her. Her heartbroken for the Duke, so much so that she used her magic to delay Her Grace's decomposition for at least a year after she had tried to heal her and it had come to light that The Dutchess' body could be preserved. The Duke had gone mad and spent his days laying and reading to her corpse. She felt sorry for the Dutchess, she may never be fully rested, and pity for the Duke who loved his wife so dearly that he could not part with her after he had finally secured his position as the Duke and could no longer be challenged as the head of the Dutchy.

Aera approached the large double doors and gestured for the Knight to knock when she heard familiar voices. "Your Grace, It will not fail. We can save her...I can save her" Her husband's voice rang out. Aera's heart sunk into her chest. That fool she thinks to herself as she gestures for the knight to open the door. "What do you think you are saying, Felix?" Aera questions worriedly as she places the tray with the teapot on the small table in front of the Duke. "You are not suggesting that spell to His Grace correct?" Aera raises her eyebrow at her husband, "I can do it! she will not be harmed..." Felix argues.

"And what of her memories? The spell is not perfect and if you are going to turn back time then you need to allow her to remember what has happened to her!" Aera counters and Chan holds his hand up "Silence...." The pair turn toward the Duke and bow apologetically. Chan sighs "Felix will do the spell."

"Turning time back does not mean she will be safe, Your Grace. This can save her for a short while. The gods will not take this chance to save one life without another when the time comes" Felix warns.

"Then it shall be my own life or my sister's life as long as my wife gets to live the gods can burn the Dutchy with an inferno so bright that they form hell on earth. But Y/N lives...." He states definitively. Aera's face scrunched in opposition. "The Dutchess deserves her memories, do not deceive her. My loyalty shall only go far, Your Grace." She states coldly. "My Love....please, the memory of her own death may be too much to bear" Felix pleads as he caresses her cheek. "I just wish to give you, your purpose back. Your life, Her life....allow me to do this and help her be happy"

Aera looks away from him for a moment before reluctantly nodding.

*Present-2nd Timeline*

"What does this mean?" Chan questions worriedly as he grasps Felix's shoulders. Felix puts his hands up, trying to calm Chan down but knowing that Y/N having her memories is the last thing the Duke wanted. "Y-Your Grace...." Felix stammers nervously trying to find the easiest way to give him this news. Realization dawns on him, he feels his blood run cold as he stumbles back into a chair. His forehead rests on his palm as he lays his hand on the potion bench. "She has her memories...." He scoffs out in disbelief, as her behavior slowly becomes more and more understandable.

How could she want to marry the man who ignored her in her previous life? The man she believed was responsible for her death...

His chest ached as he felt his stomach bubble with nausea. She despises him...He was such a fool. The gods had to punish him for what he had done to her. Though it was Aera's interference and morality, He knew this was the way the gods were telling him that he needed to let Y/N go. His family had tortured her enough in their previous life when he was fighting to keep Kari's influence at bay, he used her for his own desires when it was convenient for himself, and He allowed Kari to grab hold of the Dutchy while he was away which ultimately lead to her death but how could he just let her go?

How could he give in to her wishes and call off their engagement? The notion seemed so foreign to him, removing her from his heart. He'd yearned for her for over 10 years in their previous life and hoped for a lover relationship in this one. What should he do to keep her at his side after all he's done just to bring her back to life? Over two months of collecting ingredients and brewing potions to keep his memories and Aera does it to Y/N with a wave of her hand. What more could be done?

His eyes darken as he continues to fall deeper and deeper into turmoil. He feels his anger slowly turning into possessive madness as he continues to allow his mind to wander. His title as the future Duke could be used. He tried to rack his brain to think of something--anything to keep her by his side. Moving the wedding up and locking her away seemed to be growing more and more appealing. How radiant she would look whilst locked in the very room he'd spent with her before he turned back time. Perhaps, he should relinquish his title and take her to the countryside estate and live out their days in secrecy. He felt himself growing less and less concerned with how she'd feel. How much she'd oppose being kept in a cage like a bird under his watchful eye. But what else could he do? Even if she grew to hate him.

"I'd never let you go, Y/N"

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#skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #bang chan angst #bang chan smut #bang chan fluff #skz chan angst #skz chan imagines #skz chan scenarios #chan angst #chan fluff

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vixstarria · 1 month ago

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Bloodbang Chronicles - Chapter 13 - Tiriel the Barbarian

Chapter summary: Can Astarion handle not one but two drunk red-headed half-crazed half-elves?! Also, a cautionary tale of drinking and exhausting all of one's spell slots.

Chapter word count: 5.3k

Chapter CW: drunk and disorderly behaviour, gore

Previous chapter | Series masterlist | AO3 | Overall masterlist

Series summary:

Five years have passed since the confrontation with the Netherbrain. Astarion and his warlock lover, Asmodea, are living it up in Baldur’s Gate, running a cabaret. Their life of decadence and debauchery seems idyllic, until Asmodea’s patron disrupts it with a proposal. One that seems too good to be true. One they cannot refuse.

Pairing: Astarion x Original Female Character

Genre: Humor / adventure / smut

Rating: Explicit

“Hold it firmly, with both hands. No, not there, hold it near the end. …There, that’s better. Good. Now brace yourself, bring one leg forward and align it with where you want it to go. Goood… Now lift it over your head… No, what are you doing? Don’t flick your wrists, limp wrists will get you nowhere. Yep, like that. Now show me how you’re going to do it, without releasing. Nonono, aim straight ahead, not above your head… Yes, good job. And don’t worry about rotating it. There we go… Again. One more time. Perfect. Perfect technique. You’re doing so well. One more time, and you can let go. …Now release!”

The axe flew out of Asmodea’s hands, spinning recklessly towards a tree trunk. It successfully met its mark, firmly lodging itself in the bark, though, miraculously, it penetrated the tree with a corner of its handle, rather than the blade of the axe head.

Tiriel cocked her head and released a low whistle at the sight.

“So… What you just did is actually really impressive. …But I know you did it by accident, so you still lost. Drink up!”

Astarion observed the absurd scene from the opposite edge of their campsite’s clearing. There was something similar about the two half-elven women, though he couldn’t quite pin-point it down to any particular feature. Curious about their level of vigilance in their obvious inebriation, he deliberately stepped on a twig, making it snap. Both women spun, wild-eyed, in his direction - Tiriel lifting her own throwing axe, and Asmodea raising her hands, ready to hurl magic at any intruders - both alert and ready for violence, though decidedly unsteady on their feet. Ah… There it is, he thought. The spark of madness…

“You’re back!” Tiriel exclaimed. “Good. Assie here keeps trying to convince me she’d make an excellent berserker.” Astarion held his breath, waiting for an eldritch blast to befall the hapless woman for butchering Asmodea’s name, but it never followed - instead, Asmodea only grinned at him proudly. “You can take over making sure she doesn’t accidentally hurt herself, I’ve got some business to take care of.”

With that, Tiriel headed out beyond the clearing, past the tree they had been using for target practice. Having made it a few steps out, she paused, threw a wary glance at Asmodea and the axe she had retrieved from the tree trunk, and walked in the opposite direction instead.

Astarion only chuckled and sat down on a log near the fire. Within seconds of sitting down, he found Asmodea on his lap, impish smile on her lips.

Her breath smelled of a weird combination of mint and ale from the peculiar halfling brew she and Tiriel had been drinking. He knew she had enough alcohol in her blood for it to affect him. It was… tempting. Very much so. Especially now, when he desperately wanted to get his mind off the encounter he had earlier in the night. His mind had been spinning and spiraling out of control the entire way back to camp from the abandoned shack.

His lips caught hers in an eager and needy kiss, grappling for any peace that she might give him, seeking to lose himself in it, even if only temporarily.

“You and Tiriel seem to be getting along like a house on fire,” he murmured in her ear, gathering her closer against himself.

His lips traced down her jawline and to her neck, until he grazed it with his fangs in silent question.

Asmodea squirmed in his lap and leaned away, holding a finger against his lips.

“Better not,” she said. “Don’t want things to get out of hand while we’ve got company.”

“Oh?” Astarion said, genuinely surprised. “I was sure you were going to suggest we invite our new friend over to our tent to play.”

“She’s not interested in me,” Asmodea said with a solemn smile.

“How do you know?”

“I can tell,” she said, simply. She then tilted her head at Astarion for a moment, before gasping and giggling. “You’re disappointed!”

“Disappointed?!” he sputtered in mock dismay. “Darling, I’m relieved, dealing with two red-headed half-elves might just be the final death of me.”

Asmodea laughed and slid off his lap, also staggering off into the bushes just as Tiriel returned.

Tiriel didn’t say anything, but rather sat down to dig around her bag, appearing to look for gods only knew what, whilst throwing increasingly long and thoughtful glances at Astarion from beneath her brow.

“You’re staring,” he said, finally. “Rather intensely, in fact. What is it?”

“I can’t shake off the feeling that I know you from somewhere,” Tiriel said, frowning.

“Have you visited any alehouses in Baldur’s Gate over the past 200 years?” Astarion asked, offhandedly. It may well have been that they’d crossed each other’s paths at some point, though clearly they hadn’t gotten to know each other too closely, else she would be somewhere in the Underdark, likely plotting his demise, and not out in a forest, teaching his wife how to hurl projectile weapons.

“I have, but that’s not what I mean… I feel like I know you, but not from Baldur’s Gate or anywhere here, but…” she paused, trying to find the right words. “It’s as though I knew you in another life, or… on another plane of existence,” Tiriel tried to explain.

Astarion barked a sudden laugh, catching Tiriel off guard.

“Another one!” he said, as though to himself. “You know, you’re not the first person to tell me that,” he said to Tiriel.

“No?” she blinked.

“No, I’ve heard that from several people. Why, even our bouncer, Ban, said the very same thing almost in those exact words,” said Astarion. “Only she thinks she and I were bats in whatever other world she met me in,” he chuckled.

“Do you ever feel like you’ve met these people before too..?” asked Tiriel.

“My memory is full of gaping holes and I try not to dwell on whether I’ve met anyone before, much less the circumstances of the meetings,” Astarion deflected. “But ah…” he paused before continuing, “I would appreciate if you didn’t mention this to Oddie. She’s not too fond of these doppelganger sighting. Stopped thinking it was funny after the first three, in fact. Wouldn’t want her to hold me accountable for whatever trouble all my alter egos are getting up to on all these alternative planes,” he said with a toothy grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Tiriel nodded, just as Asmodea crashed back onto the clearing through the bushes.

“So d’you see anything interesting while you were prowling around?” she asked, plopping down onto а log.

Astarion hesitated before answering.

“As a matter of fact, I met the vampire the Hornhollow residents were so concerned about,” he said.

“You WHAT?!” Tiriel exclaimed, getting back up on her feet. “Well, where is it?!”

“And weren’t there s’pposed to be two?” added Asmodea.

“There was only one, I told you the villagers were exaggerating,” Astarion lied. “And how in the hells should I know,” he shrugged at Tiriel. “I told him to scram and he left. He won’t be bothering the villagers and their dogs any more.”

“FUCK!” Tiriel’s shout just about shook the trees around the clearing. “I don’t give a damn if he bothers them or not - no proof of kill means no pay, and I needed that bounty money!”

Astarion bristled at her tone, but before he could say anything, Asmodea cut in.

“Now wait a minute, Tir. You can’t just… go around killing people only because they stole a chicken and scared someone.”

“It’s a vampire!” Tiriel said, as though stating the obvious to someone ignorant, and as though Astarion wasn’t sitting with his fangs bared just a few paces from her. “And I need new boots.”

“Vampires are people like you and I. They just have… unfortunate dietary restrictions,” Asmodea slurred, parroting words she’d heard said by Katrina about vampires. Alas, the diplomatic turn of phrase did not deter Tiriel’s rage.

“It committed a crime, and had a bounty on its head. A bounty is a bounty. And you,” she said, gesturing at Astarion, “made me miss out on it!”

“Do you honestly think you could have taken him on?” Astarion said, narrowing his eyes. “He’d have charmed you and made you his thrall before you knew what was happening.”

“I nearly had you, didn’t I?” Tiriel retorted with a grim smile.

“Shut up, both of you,” Asmodea cut in, again. “How much was the bounty?”

Tiriel named an amount so paltry, Asmodea and Astarion could barely keep their faces straight on hearing it.

“Why don’t we just give you that sum? For the inconvenience, ale, axe-throwing lessons and good company?” Asmodea suggested.

“Do I look like a whore to you, taking payment for my company?!” Tiriel exploded again, choosing to disregard a good portion of what Asmodea had just said. Astarion belatedly remembered that the tribes of the Sunset Mountains, from which Tiriel had told them she hailed, had prickly and complex notions when it came to matters of honour.

“So you won’t take our money, the vampire the villagers wanted dead is gone, and you can’t kill this one in his stead,” Asmodea said, gesturing at Astarion. “What do you suggest?”

Tiriel hmphed, her lips drawn into a tight line, and looked away, arms crossed, considering something.

“The villagers have another bounty up,” she said, finally, looking back at Asmodea and Astarion. “On gnolls. They say there’s a pack of them that’s been roaming the forest.” Astarion rolled his eyes and groaned, but Asmodea perked up, excitedly. “I heard their yowling out there, deeper in the woods,” Tiriel said, gesturing. “They’re easy prey, but there’s too many of them for me to take on by myself. Help me, and we’ll be even.”

“We’ll do it!” Asmodea said, jumping back up on her feet.

“Darling…” Astarion began.

“Great! They’re not far, if we set out now, we’ll be finished well before sunrise.”

“Let’s go!”

“Darling,” Astarion repeated.

“What?!” Asmodea snapped.

“Darling, you’re drunk,” he said, pointedly. “Both of you are, in fact.”

“Yes, I fight best after a few ales,” Tiriel said, once again giving him a look like she was explaining something obvious to a child.

“Do you think I can’t handle a few gnolls?!” Asmodea said, projecting defiance and indignation with her very stance, her fists planted on her hips. The gesture was somewhat ruined by a loud hickup that escaped her throat.

“Come on,” Tiriel picked up her greataxe and beckoned Asmodea to follow her. The warlock happily obliged, first taking another hasty but deep swig of the brew they’d been drinking, and grabbing one of Astarion’s harnesses containing a multitude of bladed weapons.

And just like that, Astarion found himself silently cursing and trailing behind the two women as they headed deeper into the woods. Bloodying his daggers wasn’t the worst alternative to what he initially had in mind when he returned to the clearing, he reluctantly admitted to himself.

“Who’s a good little creature? Who’s the goodest, good widdle critter?? Yes, you! Who wants to go kill some beasties??? You wanna go kill, yeah??! You wanna spill some blood??? Yes you do!!!” Asmodea cooed and lilted enthusiastically, stomping and crushing through the forest. She had gotten ahead of Tiriel and Astarion in her eagerness for bloodshed.

“Who is she talking to..?” Tiriel asked Astarion, cautiously, keeping her voice low, as they crept after her.

Astarion released a resigned sigh.

“She says it’s her patron, but to be honest, sometimes I wonder whether she’s just insane,” he replied.

Abruptly, Asmodea stopped, raising her arm in a halting gesture.

“They’re close,” she whispered, crouching down and creeping forward quietly.

The sight that unfolded before them would not have made the gnoll god Yeenoghu proud.

A ragtag group of a dozen or so gnolls - most of them on the scrawnier side, presumably all strays chased off from other packs, who had banded together - surrounded a central bonfire, barking and snarling at one another in something that sounded like rudimentary Low Common. Crude weapons lay scattered around the makeshift camp. Several hyenas lay gnawing on bones of unknown origin. They had not detected anyone’s presence yet, perhaps being unable to smell or hear anything through their own stench and ruckus.

“How do you want to handle this?” Astarion whispered.

“The pincer maneuver,” Tiriel answered. “I’ll circle round and leap into their midst. They won’t expect it. You two, get to high ground and pick them off with your arrows and spells. I doubt they’ll manage to react fast enough to harm me, but if it looks like I’m in trouble, pick off the ones closest to me. Can I trust the accuracy of your arrows, elf?”

“The answer you seek lies within your very question,” Astarion scoffed.

“…What?” Tiriel looked at him, her face void of understanding.

“…Yes, damnit,” Astarion spat.

“So why not just say that?” Tiriel chided. “Good. Now, just give me a minute.”

Tiriel gripped her greataxe, shutting her eyes. She breathed in, deeply, through her nose, and exhaled. She repeated this over and over again, each time the breaths growing more ragged, until she began to hum on her exhales. Astarion had seen Karlach do something similar when working herself up into a berserker rage.

Tiriel’s eyes shot open. Though they were beginning to glaze over with an animalistic fury, she wasn’t quite fully gone yet, and she began to creep around the gnoll camp, continuing her breathing regiment.

Something about the primal simplicity of it, as well as her casual control of the uncontrollable, was terrifying, Astarion had to admit.

“I’ll boost you up a tree,” he said, turning to Asmodea, only to find that she was nowhere to be found. “Oddie..?” He whipped his head around, searching for her, and finally spotted her edging the gnoll camp in a direction opposite to Tiriel’s. “What do you think you’re doing?!” he hissed.

Asmodea held a finger up to her lips and shushed him, grinning entirely too mischievously for his liking.

“Oddie,” Astarion repeated with a warning in his tone. Asmodea only giggled and waved him off, turning towards the gnoll camp. “Oddie, no,” he said firmly.

She paid him no mind, instead getting up and bringing her fingers up to her mouth, to release a shrill whistle.

“Gods fucking damnit, Od!” Astarion cursed, grabbing his bow.

“Heeeeere, puppy!” Asmodea yelled. “C’mere, boy! To heel, you ugly mutt!”

With those words, she snickered and disappeared off into the woods. Several gnolls and a hyena took off after her. Off to Astarion’s side, somewhere across the gnoll camp, Tiriel released a bloodcurdling scream and hurled herself into the encampment, immediately taking out a gnoll with her very first blow. Amidst all the chaos that was breaking loose, Astarion never had a chance to release a single arrow, as he found himself face to face with a snarling gnoll, and reached for his daggers instead.

Asmodea sped through the forest, ululating and leaping over roots and collapsed tree trunks, as the beasts chased after her.

She reached for the throwing stars contained in Astarion’s harness – shuriken, the vendor had called them – as she ran. She doubted she could have caused any real harm if she flung them at her pursuers, but that wasn’t the plan anyway. Instead, she began dropping them on the ground.

“Let me in,” Fuckface whispered, their anticipation palpable.

She did.

She lowered her barriers, allowing her patron deeper into her mind, letting their presence unfold and spread through her.

She felt Fuckface’s psyche blending and merging with her own, the lines between the two blurring. Her mind buzzed and whirled with ghosts of thoughts and notions that couldn’t have been hers. Newfound wonder and joy at the mundane, together with inexplicable streaks of cruelty or indifference which were too unlike her, couldn’t have been her. Surely.

What was ordinarily limited to telepathic conversation and the sharing of her sight expanded into her patron gaining deeper insight into all her senses. She knew the fey could now taste the very air she breathed and feel the pleasant burn of her muscles as she raced - all so alien and strange but all the more enticing to them. In turn, she felt more alert. More resilient. More alive. Lighter on her feet. Everything appeared just a little bit sharper, her hearing became just a touch more acute. All her little aches and pains that had been distressing her body melted away into nothingness, replaced with vigour and energy.

And, most importantly, her very being brimmed with magic, begging to be used, percolating at her very fingertips.

It was euphoric. Exhilarating.

And so she screamed for joy and ran, letting the fey feel the thrill of the run.

As she ran, she reached with her mind for the hyena that chased after her, searching for the cracks and fissures in its psyche, and slipped inside, effortlessly, and sent the beast running on an alternate path.

Astarion wouldn’t have approved, but what he didn’t know couldn’t bother him.

She allowed one of the gnolls to get so close she could just about feel its hot, rancid breath on the back of her neck, before tittering and misty stepping away in a different direction at the last moment.

The gnolls skidded to a stop, seeming to have lost her for the moment.

“Here boy,” she yelled at them. “Fetch!” With that, she hurled a firebolt in their direction, badly singing one of them. And the chase was on again.

A new gnoll that must have broken off from the camp, appeared right in front of Asmodea as she ran, but the hyena she had claimed bolted from the undergrowth, sprinting and slamming into it from the opposite side, knocking it over and tearing at its throat. Asmodea paused only long enough to bury her pact-bound dagger into the gnoll's guts while it was distracted by the hyena, and kept moving.

Misty step. Firebolt. Sprint. All the while dropping more throwing stars in new spots, gradually taking the gnolls in a circle. Repeat, until Asmodea or Fuckface, she couldn’t tell which at that point, grew bored.

Finally, just as the gnolls were on her, Asmodea released a bone-chilling howl that had the gnolls stop in their tracks, clutching at their heads, before they stumbled away, fleeing in a desperate attempt to escape something only they could see.

The silver mist enveloped her again, and Asmodea teleported to a different spot, positioning herself atop a small hill at the base of a tree. The approach was root-laden and covered with thick moss.

The gnolls had recovered from their mass panic and were amassing on her once more, more cautiously now.

“Little doglets,” she cooed. “Not even your mothers could bear to look at those muzzles, huh? Banished, exiled from tribe and clan? Unwanted. Useless. Pathetic.”

One of the gnolls lifted a spear in her direction.

“Puny bitch,” it snarled, its voice guttural, words barely understandable. “Scumfang wear your skull as codpiece."

Asmodea’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. How did Scumfang know the word ‘codpiece’..? Ah well. She wasn’t about to delve deeper into its vocabulary, alas.

With a gesture, Asmodea brought all the throwing stars she had dropped flying towards the group of gnolls. They lodged themselves haphazardly in the gnolls’ flesh, most sinking into haunches and shoulders, only one winding up in a gnoll’s neck. This seemed to anger them more than anything. One gnoll charged forward, but an eldritch blast knocked it back into the others, sending them all sprawling in a snarling, yelping mass.

‘Look at these ugly, stupid beasts...’ she thought. ‘How can anything this base even live..? Vermin. Parasites. Why should this mindless evil deserve life when so much good perishes, for nothing..? They don’t belong here. A blight on this forest. On this very world. A festering boil that must be lanced. I will purge them. Burn them. Cut them to shreds. Let their blood soak and fertilise the soil so that new things will grow. Rend their flesh and turn it to mulch. Feed them to the worms. Tear them. KILL THEM. END THEM.’

Another gesture, and the throwing stars began to spin.

An explosion of blood and gore followed. After the initial burst, the throwing stars left the torn flesh and continued to spin and fly, haphazardly, continuing to lacerate anything that crossed their path. The gnolls howled and tried to crawl out of the onslaught, but it was all happening too fast: flesh, tendons and blood vessels being torn faster than they could react.

Suddenly finding herself lightheaded, Asmodea hunkered down to sit on her heels, watching her modified cloud of daggers do its job at the base of the hill. She was pleased, very much so. She hadn’t had a chance to test the spell with the throwing stars until then. The only downside was that it was all over too soon: Astarion had laced each projectile with poison to boot.

Somewhere within her mind, Fuckface all but danced for joy. Asmodea smiled. It had been so long since they last coalesced this way. There was no reason to wait so long again, no.

After some unsuccessful attempts, she had given up on even trying to explain or describe this connection or its depth to Astarion. He wouldn’t have understood. No, he would have been horrified by it. Disgusted, most likely, given his history... He already often complained about his dislike of having to share her. The jealousy was cute, in a way, if unjustified and undue to begin with. She was never ‘shared’. What she offered him never diminished. Rather, through this connection, she was more than she had ever been before. And she would become yet more.

She was brought out of her musings when she abruptly realised that everything around her had grown silent, aside from all the regular night forest sounds. The gnolls lay dead. The cloud of daggers had exhausted itself, the projectiles all having dropped into the pile of viscera.

Asmodea slid down the hill through the moss, wrinkling her nose at the distasteful mess, and began retrieving the shuriken. Thankfully all had ended up near the top.

Asmodea was considering whether it was worth casting prestidigitation to clean them off, or whether to simply wipe them, when her thoughts were interrupted.

“You’ve done enough for now. Go find your vampling,” Fuckface’s words sounded in her head.

The fey had a point. Prestidigitation would have been wasteful. She already felt like she was close to her limit.

Sounds of battle reached her as she made her way toward the gnoll camp. Could they possibly still have been going..? Suddenly worried, she directed her thoughts as Fuckface.

‘We have to get there, fast.’

‘A final burst,’ the fey acquiesced.

Another series of leaps via misty step, and Asmodea stumbled out onto the clearing, gasping from the rush.

Tiriel and Astarion, but especially Tiriel, were covered in blood - not their own, from the look of it. Asmodea glimpsed Astarion throwing her a look of concern, which turned to exasperation as soon as he was satisfied that she was unharmed.

They had finished off most of the gnolls, but one still remained - the largest, most scarred, ugliest gnoll, which couldn’t have been anything but the pack’s chieftain. They circled it, cautiously, but it waved a massive polearm, not letting them get close enough to strike. Didn’t Astarion have a bow..? What happened to that?

“Wait… Just one more…” she pleaded with Fuckface.

“Last one.”

With a low, throaty laugh Asmodea raised her arms, readying a string of eldritch blasts. It had been years since she’d last pulled something like this off, and when she did, it was on a target much smaller, but this was the perfect opportunity to practice. Now if only she angled and timed them just right, making the bursts criss-cross and overlap just so…

Power surged from her hands, as she cast three blasts in a rapid succession. The force with which the blasts collided with the gnoll’s body from different angles tore it into pieces where it stood. The head, which had been ripped off the neck, rolled towards Tiriel’s feet. It was an instant - if an extremely messy - death.

Tiriel swore, recoiling in surprise, before breaking out into a laugh.

Asmodea approached Astarion on unsteady legs, still giggling.

“Rest now, little one,” a whisper sounded in her mind.

Fuckface withdrew, taking its power with them. Exhaustion hit her with the force of a charging rothe. Her knees buckled, and she sagged against Astarion, clutching onto his shoulder. He caught her, looking at her with worry again.

“Ahhh! Now wasn’t that fun?” Asmodea grinned as he scowled.

A limping hyena approached her and Astarion, looking at them questioningly. She and Astarion both turned to look it.

“Shoo!” Asmodea hissed at it, finally breaking the mental connection that she hadn’t realised still lingered. The animal whimpered and bolted, its tail tucked. Astarion frowned but did not say anything.

Meanwhile, Tiriel had picked up the gnoll head by its mane.

“This will be enough for the bounty, it’s huge,” she said. “Is she alright..?” Tiriel added, looking at Asmodea.

“’m fine,” Asmodea slurred, though her vision was beginning to blur. “Just need a little nap.”

“Idiot,” Astarion muttered, lifting her off her feet. “Never do that again, you hear?”

“Hmm? Oh I w-” she never got to finish what she was saying, as she lost consciousness.

She didn’t feel any better once she came to at the camp.

Fuckface had been right when they told her her power waned from disuse. She could do more, much more, before. Her body had grown unaccustomed to the stress. She needed practice to build up a resistance to the exhaustion. In the meantime, she didn’t think she could gather enough magic to lift a feather until she rested properly.

She and Astarion decided to spend another day at their campsite. There was no point trying to move further - the night was almost over.

“Will you stay with us longer?” Asmodea asked Tiriel.

Tiriel shook her head.

“Better not. I’ll head back to Hornhollow - wash all this gnoll off me with a proper bath, then pass out in a proper bed. Besides, I don’t trust the innkeeper not to rummage through the things I left there.”

“I guess this is it, then,” Asmodea said sadly, before perking up again momentarily. “Wait, I’ve got something for you.”

She disappeared inside the tent, to return with something pink, gossamer and trimmed with feathers in her arms.

“…What in the…” Tiriel blinked, looking at the bundle in horror.

“It’s a dressing gown! I want you to have it.”

“You really are out of your mind,” Tiriel said point blank, once she had regained her voice.

“No, no, I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out… Here’s my vision. You’re on a quest. You were tasked with rescuing a captive. A prince! Who’s a vampire. …A handsome, silver-haired one.” Astarion snorted where he sat, cleaning his nails with a dagger. Asmodea ignored him and went on. “His captors are huddled together, scheming how best to torture him, when a fearsome battle cry shakes the very ground they stand on. They look up and cower in fear, for lo and behold - it is you. You are power. You are vengeance. You grip your greataxe and take a stance as your frilly pink robe flutters in the wind! You are death incarnate.”

Tiriel guffawed and accepted the robe with one hand, drawing Asmodea into a hug that nearly cracked her ribs with the other.

“Very well! And you take this throwing axe,” she said, removing the weapon from her belt loop and handing it to Asmodea. “Try to hit your target with the right end, next time.”

“Farewell, Astarion!” she said, still choosing not to get too close to the vampire. “Thank you for not drinking me dry.”

“Thank you for not leaving any stake-sized splinters in me, it would have been most inconvenient,” Astarion said snidely, baring her fangs, but gave Tiriel a cordial nod and wave nonetheless. “Do stop at the Dancing Siren if you’re ever in Baldur’s Gate. I expect we’ll make it back there again… ah… eventually.”

And with that, she was gone.

In the ensuing quiet, Astarion’s thoughts immediately snapped back to the gnomes and all the implications surrounding them. He glanced at Asmodea - she had taken out her travel journal - something he hadn’t seen her written in since their journey back to Baldur’s Gate after the nautiloid crash, and was busy scribbling away in it. He watched her through his lashes.

Eyes the colour of sunlit leaves, locked on her writing. A soothing, lulling heartbeat. Warm hands. Warm skin. Warm blood.

He had already made up his mind, he realised.

He couldn’t even tell her about the freed spawn capabilities. Even if she didn’t immediately demand to join him in undeath, she was already reckless - she would only throw all caution out the window completely, if she thought that he could drag her out of death’s maw should it ever come to that.

No, he had to keep the knowledge to himself. It was safer for everyone that way.

Besides, he didn’t even know how it was done… The gnome must have done something wrong. Or been too weak. Or his spawn must have already lost her mind by the time he turned her. Must have…

Asmodea had finished writing in her journal and set it aside, gazing into the fire instead.

“Finished documenting your heroic battle with the gnoll mongrels already?” asked Astarion.

“The gnolls aren’t worth the ink or paper,” she answered. “But I’ve been thinking… I remember events from five years ago just fine. Ten - it starts to get blurry, but mostly remains intact. Twenty - I have a notion of what went on, but the blanks I must fill in are bigger than the pieces that remain. What will happen in another ten years? Another thirty? More? I can’t fall back on reverie to preserve my memories. Will I even be the same person if I can’t remember who I once was?”

“Is that why you’ve started this again?” Astarion asked, gesturing at the journal. Asmodea nodded. “May I?”

“Sure,” Asmodea shrugged, handing him the journal. “It’s only brief notes.”

Astarion opened the journal at the last page with writing. Having read the passage, he shut the journal and looked up at Asmodea.

“Earth-shatteringly deep,” he said with an unreadable expression.

“I told you, it’s brief. Just breadcrumbs for my mind to find its way back to this day.”

‘Met a feisty barbarian named Tiriel,’ the passage read.‘Hot tempered. Hot headed. Hot. Bonded over ale and exterminating some gnolls. Had to part ways after. Pity. DNF.’

“What does ‘DNF’ stand for?” asked Astarion.

“Oh that. ‘Did not fu-’”

Asmodea’s voice faltered as a man with a drawn bow emerged from behind a tree.

“You have got to be kidding me, twice in one night?!” Astarion sneered. “Are we in some amateur two-copper adventure tale?”

Another joined him. Then another, and another, and more, until they were surrounded.

Astarion threw a glance at Asmodea to gage her reaction, and saw that she had paled, eyes trained on the only man who did not have a drawn weapon. With a subtle, one-handed gesture concealed from everyone else, she slipped off her wedding ring and hid it in her sleeve.

“Well, well!” The man said to Asmodea, jovially. “Fancy seeing you again, after all these years!” He cast a sweeping gaze over their camp and laughed. “And I do believe you still have something that belongs to me!”

~~~~~

Thank you for reading!

Tiriel belongs to my friend @spacebarbarianweird. Thank you for letting me borrow her! ^_^ Read more about Tiriel in her Raging Blood series, and check out her other works!

Find the fic on AO3 as well.

Tags:

@littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tragedybunny @spunky-89

@lariatbunny@whiskeyskin @asterordinary @wingsy-keeper-of-songs @spacebarbarianweird

@brabblesblog @littlejuicebox @icybluepenguin @snowfolly @ayselluna

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#astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion fanfiction #bg3 fanfiction #astarion x tav #astarion fanfic #bg3 fanfic #astarion x oc #astarion x f!oc #astarion x female tav #astarion x asmodea #bloodbang chronicles #tiriel the barbarian #tav multiverse

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