#maggot.txt

[favoritemaggot]

A baby is wailing outside my apartment. Something solid continues to fill the empty chamber within myself where feelings are meant to flow. There is no room for them. I only feel whatever persists enough to penetrate the semiporous blockage where my soul used to be. The structure is stained with the color of grief from losing my humanity. I should be happy. I wonder if it's possible anymore.

[decaydemon-blog]

sorry i haven’t been active recently, things have been kinda bad regarding mental health

i’ll get to applications for creepykinclub soon

[favoritemaggot]

Journal Entry 11192023:

The gentle current of the stream washes over the overturned marble statue. Were enough time to pass, the marble might wear down, but there is scarcely a chance that this scene should last. The creek bed will dry up one day and be replaced with something more industrial. Perhaps before then, the marble statue will be taken. Or maybe it will be buried under asphalt.

I see myself in the statue. Desires wash over me, but do not wear me down. I persist as I am, but only for lack of time. Given enough time, my environment would change me---wear me down into something smooth, wash me away until I am everywhere and nothing. Instead, I have outlived my environment. That which could wear me down much penetrate concrete barriers to even reach me.

I often find myself dreaming of hollowness. In a way, I suppose I am. Like porous marble, I can be changed by that which I absorb. I become something mottled and less pristine. Still, I think about what it means to be filled. How strange it is to wish I had been made with utility in mind over endurance. What a vessel lacks in durability, it makes up for with purpose. What is hollow can be more easily broken, but its hollowness gives it meaning. What does it mean to have meaning?

[decaydemon-blog]

the way to my heart is the 6th edition of the dictionnaire infernal

and the malleus maleficarum if you’re feeling generous :)

[decaydemon-blog]

omg @bransles i just saw that you’re already following me through your main ;A; ignore my last rb!!

[decaydemon-blog]

i’m thinkin about making a little (demon)kin network since i can’t rlly find any active ones..??? not a lot of people follow me so i’m not sure if people would be interested but i’m gonna procrastinate and not study for this midterm and make the app anyway haha//

[decaydemon-blog]

i’ve been feeling very connected with berith recently, which is i think what inspired me to return to this blog. something about the red and the flies is just really pulling me!!

[decaydemon-blog]

i’m not dead!

i’m so sorry you guys.. i moved into my college dorm around the end of august and so many things have happened since then and i’ve been under a lot of stress (had three panic attacks/breakdowns/whatever this weekend) and i only just remembered this blog a few days ago and i’m really really sorry that i’ve been inactive!! i’ll try to be more active here but i can’t promise to be active as much as i was in the summer. honestly being more in tune with this part of myself helps me cope a little, so since it’s midterm time i’m probably gonna be on here fairly frequently. if you’re still following me, thank you!!!

[decaydemon-blog]

i see a lot of stuff abt royal demonkin and that makes me wonder if that’s me or not?? i don’t feel important but maybe...

[decaydemon-blog]

i should probably start tagging negative things? i post a lot of that stuff and i don't wanna distress people :(

[decaydemon-blog]

i just applied to be a mod of a kin help blog and i’m super excited actually.. i want to be really involved in this community!! 

[decaydemon-blog]

ah i don’t think a lot of people are reading this (i do have less than 10 followers haha) but my gf @hell-houund would appreciate some followers as well.. she’s a hellhound as you can tell from her url and she’s very sweet. please follow hellhound gf!!

[decaydemon-blog]

i’m so glad that people are liking/reblogging that post and following me.. i was upset bc nothing happened initially but getting mutuals is making me really happy

[decaydemon-blog]

there are worse things, perverse things

you should answer when the phone rings

there are worse things i could do.

[decaydemon-blog]

ANSWER ME! LISTEN TO ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

[decaydemon-blog]

girlfriends are in a private skype call and boyfriend is with his other group chat. being alone is great!!