#mae's monologue

[luminoustarlight]

okay so... this was a big writing year for me. i was really curious to see how many words i wrote and holy crap?? 90,745 is A LOT. the average word count in an adult book is 70,000 to 120,000 words. i wrote enough for a whole book!!

i started the year off in the stranger things fandom and wrote 26 pieces for eddie munson. my top fanfiction was The Box Set, a 1980s porn au. It was cross-posted on tumblr and ao3 and it is still currently up on ao3. i am so proud of that story. it is 33k words alone. i've never undertaken such a large project before and the reception towards it was so encouraging.

after taking a couple months off, i got back into writing for one anakin skywalker. i have a long history with this man/hayden christensen. i first fell for him in 2015 and his appearance in ahsoka 100% reinvigorated my love for him. he is so, so, so much fun to write. my current series, as fate would have it, is a dilf!anakin story and will be continued in the new year.

i can't wait to see what 2024 has in store for me and my writing. i'm so glad you're all along for this journey. thank you for liking, reblogging, leaving comments, and messaging me about my work. it fuels me as a writer!

[mamawasatesttube]

action comics #677

gonna be real mae just really frustrates me sometimes. like. there are some times when i just want to reach into a story and shake a character like GET OVER YOURSELFFFF and unfortunately this happens just about every single time mae is on page. clark (and lois) are so sympathetic to her in this issue but they are both so much nicer than me bc i just wanna smack her. like getting super offended that someone might ask "hey are you clear on how extremely important keeping this secret is" and then going "well its YOUR fault that that guy died!!!!!" is so out of pocket. girl you are so righteous im so tired of you and i Know this never ends

[theevilmaninyourcomputer]

Dude I literally AM Mae Borowski.

[frenchtwistresistance]

Another Match Game exchange (Match Game PM Episode 19) I think about all the time is when the question was about a woman so liberated that she not only burned her bra, she burned her blank.

Fannie: Do you know that Richard is a feminist?

Gene: Is he a feminist? Why do you say that?

Fannie: Because he marched with me in an Alice Doesn’t Do Anything Anymore march.

Gene: And where did you march?

Richard: Alice Doesn’t Day. Right?

Fannie: Yes, darling.

Gene: Alice Doesn’t Day?

Richard: That was the day that the women, who, you know, that they can’t get credit and they don’t get paid equal money for jobs, and they protested that day. And men that think that their cause is right were allowed to march with them.

Fannie: But, uh, I didn’t understand because the march went through Westwood. He and I— You marched me into Encino at some motel… I was confused…

Richard: Trying to get another march going.

Fannie: You said that was the rally point.

[hurricanek8art]

"The Jedi Code is like an itch. They cannot help it."

The best thing about The Acolyte is how the Jedi were murdered. Indara dies because her compassion is used against her, when Mae threatens an innocent bystander, Indara focuses on saving them, instead of watching Mae. Torbin dies because his heart breaks for whatever happened with Mae in the past, 16 years ago. She can't touch him until she weaponizes his heart against him. Sure, you can kill Jedi with overwhelming numbers against them, but if you don't have numbers, how do you get under a Jedi's defense? Use their compassion, use their care for others, use their connections to wanting to help others against them. These Jedi died because they cared.

[lscullzthegreat]

*at Angband*

Sauron: *typical evil monologue™️*

Maedhros: *cough* Slut.

Sauron: what did you just say?

Mae: what did you hear?

Sauron: I'd rather not repeat it

Mae: well then I guess we'll never know.

[k1ng-ej]

Politely requesting (desperately begging) for Michael Myers and Thomas Hewitt with a (fem preferably) s/o that is super talkative and can have a conversation for hours by themselves with their nonstop rambling 🙏🏼 (my friends now time me, my record for nonstop talking about one topic is thirty two minutes)

Thomas Hewitt & Michael Myers X Reader who is talkative and rambles a lot!

Thank you for the request! Talkative is the complete opposite of what i am so i was a little stumped when i first wrote this lol. i hope you enjoy!!

Thomas Hewitt

He truly appreciates your rambling. Although he's not much of a conversation person, he’ll happily listen to you until he needs to assist Luda Mae with household chores. He finds it adorable when he catches you talking to yourself while you're busy, whether it's helping with dinner or tackling the laundry. You always manage to spark a conversation, no matter what you’re doing.

As you and Thomas lay together in bed, nestled in his embrace with your head gently resting on his chest, he played with your hair while you chatted away. Though he only half-listened to your words, he relished the soothing sound of your voice. Recently, you've taken the time to teach him how to braid hair, and now he was focused on practicing his newfound skill with your locks.

His touch was tender, and though you couldn't see it, his loving gaze was fixed upon you. He had skillfully braided a section of your hair before pausing to run his fingers through the loose strands, intently listening as you spoke. At one moment, you tilted your head up to him, seeking comfort as you nestled into his side.

He smiled warmly, his hand gently cradling your cheek. You were in the midst of recounting your trip to the store with Luda Mae, elaborating on every little detail and getting sidetracked a few times. Thomas gazed at you intently, his thumb softly stroking your cheek, completely captivated by your words.

As you were speaking, he leaned in and gently kissed your forehead, followed by a soft kiss on your lips. Your initial shock faded swiftly, and you resumed your conversation, only to be interrupted once more by his sweet kiss.

"Hey, I'm trying to tell you a story." You whined, cheeks flushing a deep shade of red. While you enjoyed Tommy's kisses, you wanted to finish your story before he smothered you with them.

He shook his head softly, planting gentle kisses on your lips before finally nodding, encouraging you to continue speaking.

Michael Myers

Initially, he found you to be quite bothersome. He couldn't comprehend how one person could have an endless supply of topics to discuss or how you were able to engage in lengthy monologues with yourself. Frequently, he would stand up and walk away in the midst of your chatter.

As time went on, he became accustomed to it and could endure the noise, yet there were moments when he craved silence. Though he would never confess it, there were instances when he genuinely tuned in to your conversation and even found himself intrigued.

Both of you sat on the couch, a random movie flickering on the TV. As you focused on creating a birthday gift for your friend, you shared amusing stories about them with your murderous boyfriend. It didn’t matter whether he was listening or not; you simply enjoyed recounting the tales.

Out of nowhere, a hand pressed firmly over your mouth. Confused, you furrowed your brows and glanced at Michael, who remained fixated on the television before him.

You pried his hand off with a frown. "That was rude, you know you can just turn the tv up if you don't want to hear me, right?"

With excruciating slowness, he turned his head to face you. Although his eyes were concealed by the mask, his gaze held an intensity that was impossible to ignore. You arched an eyebrow and let out a sigh before returning to the task of wrapping the gift, continuing the tale you had been sharing.

Barely a few words in, his hand was back over your mouth. You attempted to push it away, but it was no use. Frustration escaped in a huff through your nose as you shot him a glare, though he remained fixated on the movie.

Michael felt a sudden wetness followed by a sharp, painful pinch on his palm. Instinctively, he pulled his hand back and examined the damage. Deep teeth marks were indented in his skin, leaving it slightly red and swollen. As he turned to face you, he caught sight of your mischievous smirk.

"You gonna let me finish my sentence now?"

You could hear him huffing behind his mask as he leaned back against the couch. Satisfied, you nodded and resumed sharing stories about your friend while you wrapped their gift.

[tealvenetianmask]

A defense of Blitz in those text messages.

Because people are still making reactions to Western Energy with the caption, "Stolas deserves better." There are still people being shitty about it in the tags too. And Blitz is my favorite and doesn't deserve the slander.

Stolas has been taught subtlety, politeness, and understatement his entire life, and even though it doesn't come naturally to him (see The Circus and literally everything about him). He thinks it's the best way to get accepted by people. To Blitz, that's upper class bullshit that's condescending, manipulative, and mostly lies. He also can't write like that, so why even try to engage with it?

When you take apart each line, it's clear that Blitz's feelings of inferiority and hurt are responsible for the tone of these texts, NOT a desire to hurt or abandon Stolas.

Here.

ITZ WUTEVS

Blitz's internal monologue: You're apologizing to be polite. No one says "I'm sorry if anything I said or did may have offended you" and means it. What you mean is that you hope we still get to fuck. It would be better if you just said that. I'll be down eventually though.

Y?

Blitz's internal monologue: You don't really care. Cut the polite bullshit.

SHUR (I think- it's blurry, but it's in response to the wall of text about just how unbothered Stolas is by what happened at Ozzies, how glad he is that Blitz doesn't care, and how maybe Blitz should insult him in bed sometime.

Blitz's internal monologue: You just confirmed that you don't care in a whole paragraph. It was hard to read all that, and I already knew you didn't care.

NP (Seeing Stars)

Blitz's internal monologue: NP (lol)

LYKE OLWAYS

Blitz's internal monologue: sex night! (cue penises running around on a rainbow on his calendar)

K (after Stolas says that Blitz doesn't have to come over)

Blitz's internal monologue: he doesn't want sex night. Act cool. I shouldn't feel sad about this. Act cool.

WUTEVR U WANT. ITS UR NIGHT.

Blitz's internal monologue: This is not a drill. He's not into me anymore.

MAE BEE

Blitz's internal monologue: I get it. You don't want me. Quieter voice in the back of his head: Stolas wants to talk. Talking is scary. Better not commit to talking.

I MITE B BUSY

Blitz's internal monologue, STRAIGHT FROM THE DUET: I'm getting by on avoiding his questions!

It was surprisingly hard to screenshot this stuff/get it across without rewriting everything! Please, let me know your insights/different interpretations, and feel free to link other posts that have already done this well- I know there are some!

[mirrorball-leclerc]

struggling to survive netflix

series masterlist

rhys jones word of advice: DO NOT watch season 6 of drive to survive.

max jones-verstappen you watch that crap?

rhys jones i couldn't sleep, it dropped, so i watched it. worst mistake of my life.

rhys jones i can't believe i was at several races and ryan made it onto the show before me.

esteban ocon oh yes, i forgot about that.

isabella perez someone tell charles they made him out to be the villain.

natalia ruiz just like max in season 1.

charles leclerc i did nothing wrong all season but have shitty luck.

dulce perez monza. charles leclerc i may have done one thing wrong.

rhys jones max went from being the formula 1 villain to being comedic relief.

max jones-verstappen i bet there was no mention of my win streak

isabella perez in the last fifteen minutes but only because christian mentioned it.

charles leclerc can i enter my villain era now?

pierre gasly do you even know what that is? charles leclerc je t'emmerde connard

rowan todd WHITE HORSE?? CONEY ISLAND?? WITH MAE?? ARE YOU TWO TRYING TO KILL US??

daphne jones-ricciardo 😁😁 mae jones-verstappen 😁😁

isabella perez CONEY ISLAND?? YOU SANG CONEY ISLAND?

isabella perez THIS IS FUCKING WORSE THAN LOSING MIRRORBALL!!

max jones-verstappen to be fair i lost seven to fucking pittsburg of all places.

rhys jones jokes on you guys, my song still safe.

daphne jones-ricciardo and what song is that rhys?

rhys jones thug song

daphne jones-ricciardo of fucking course it is.

alex albon crossing my fingers for monologue song next!

george russell charles cried when daphne sang this is me trying as a surprise song. i have a picture of it.

bailey winters one could say you "have it printed out" george russell hilarious bailey. bailey winter this is why lewis decided to leave mercedes, because you're dry as fuck george russell TOO SOON BAILEY!! TOO SOON!!

isabella perez sylvia just got me in trouble. apparently it's not good to speak out against netflix.

dulce perez i think it's more so because you spoke out in favor of a driver from a rival team and not that you spoke put again netflix. natalia ruiz i didn't get in trouble? charles leclerc it was probably the oscar part and not the netflix part isabella perez i got told by fred that it was okay??? just no spilling company secrets.

carlos sainz she probably just doesn't like you.

isabella perez wow.

lando norris to be fair, you are quite annoying. i get it.

dulce perez only i get to call her annoying kermit the frog

lance stroll we should wait until the next season for more drama. that's when it'll be good because of a certain someone breaking f1 twitter.

lewis hamilton talking about me? mick schumacher don't forget the secret contract lengths! esteban ocon and silly season!!

freya vettel i was fully expecting them to make oscar and lando to look like enemies. they've done it before.

isabella perez we should make a drinking game out of dts!! anytime d*nica shows up on screen we take a shot.

zoya torres we'd end up blackout drunk. george russell alternative, take a shot everytime will buxton says something funny. max jones-verstappen or anytime they make teammates who get along look like enemies. mae jones-verstappen you seriously still bitter about the daniel thing? max jones-verstappen YES! WE WERE NEVER ENEMIES!!

esteban ocon netflix doesn't know that friendships and rivalries can exist on the same scale.

rowan todd doesn't help that pierre said, "we'll never be best friends."

rhys jones i'm surprised they haven't brought in the nepotism card yet.

mick schumacher they did.

rhys jones i avoid that episode to not cry and charles' episode in season 1

isabella perez oh, same! we're very emotional people. i also avoid daniel's episode in season 5. and i can't stand otmar.

oscar piastri mood. esteban ocon same. pierre gasly you're lucky you didn't have to work with the guy. lance stroll welcome to the club

sebastian vettel any mention of my bee corner?

isabella perez no, and the people are upset. they wanted more of seb's buzzin' corner

logan sargeant he got the logan treatment, completely forgotten.

oscar piastri that's not funny mate.

alex albon lily and i are working on getting rid of his tendencies to degrade himself.

max jones-verstappen how's that working for you two so far? alex albon not well as you can see

daphne jones-ricciardo we have a new set of grid parents!

daniel jones-ricciardo GO TO SLEEP!

daphne jones-ricciardo shh! i just got to episode 3.

fernando alonso my favorite episode is episode 1.

max jones-verstappen ARE ALL OF YOU WATCHING IT?

lewis hamilton i wanted to see how they foreshadowed my move to ferrari. mae jones-verstappen daphne dragged me into this. daphne jones-ricciardo LIAR! IT WAS YOUR IDEA! george russell i wanted to see how i evolved through the season

max jones-verstappen i guess i should watch it.

daniel jones-ricciardo i promise you won't regret it.

12 hours later

max jones-verstappen you're a fucking liar daniel jones-ricciardo. i regret it so much.

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting@anytimeanywherebitchblog @ragioniera @burberryfilms @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

click here to be added to the honest series taglist

¡leclerc-s speaks! pushing my disliking for danica and otmar with this one. i still don’t understand why she was in season 6 of dts when she’s never driven an f1 car. i was thinking of doing a written part for the parts i made up but would anyone be interested in that?

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[luminoustarlight]

okay my queens i actually think im going to edit and revise all three parts of as fate would have it before diving into chapter 4!

i last uploaded afwhi in december 2023 and although i haven't written much this year, i still feel as though i can improve on what has already been written. i've been reading them over and man - I AM SO WORDY HAHAHA- but you guys seems to really like my writing style and im so thankful for that!

but anyway - the goal is to start writing again. afwhi and other stories. but i want to edit and revise before posting part 4 because i think y'all might wanna refresh your memories on the story 🥰

i'm so so thankful for your patience and understanding! i can't believe you guys still wanna read the story 🥹

[septemberlikeastorm]

LOVE how qimir/the stranger knocks mae to the ground right before he starts soliloquizing about wanting freedom & an acolyte. he said "no way is my garbage intern gonna be in this camera shot, not during the big monologue i rehearsed in front of the skura. they said i served cunt & i shall serve it ALONE"

[midnight-melancholiaaa]

a hasty follow-up to my earlier post, where i questioned why sol had told fake-osha that he was ready to come clean to the jedi council about what happened on brendok, and yet switched off his comms and jumped into hyperspace to avoid the incoming jedi team. doesn’t seem like coming clean to me…

few key things here 1) sol made those remarks to somebody he believed to be osha, and now he knows it wasn’t her, his priority has switched to finding her, rather than post-mission exposition on coruscant. 2) we’ve already seen sol’s frustration at the jedi regrouping in meetings instead of pursuing an urgent ongoing situation. sol is likely avoiding asking for permission he knows he won’t receive, so he can find osha and qimir as soon as possible. the fact that he does this by avoiding the jedi altogether, inadvertently placing even MORE suspicion upon himself as a fallen jedi, is….. ouch………

so why restrain mae and monologue to her? i’ve seen posts arguing (very well) that his incoming explanation of brendok will be a self-centred emotional unloading, rather than anything useful for or considerate of mae. i totally agree there’s an element of that at play, but i think there’s something else going on as well, linked to sol’s mission for the rest of the show.

a couple lines stick out to me. “you and i have work to do” is, i think, a fairly obvious statement that mae will be roped into helping sol rescue osha. but the other is hiding in an earlier scene: “you found him”. as i explain in my other theorypost, i think this line is said after sol has realised mae is pretending to be osha. within a double meaning, it could allude to mae’s relationship with the master. she’s found qimir once — why can’t she do it again?

so yeah, i don’t think it’s super out there to say that sol is planning to recruit mae and use her to find qimir, and osha along with him. why the table restraining then? on a purely practical level, he’s keeping her cuffed until he feels in control of the situation and as though he can rely on her allyship. and getting to that allyship? sol’s going to try his damndest in this explanation monologue to convince her onside, and he doesn’t want her struggling or arguing until he’s said that full pitch.

i think all this really speaks to the level of desperation sol is experiencing. he’s just watched the other jedi he cares deeply for get massacred in front of him, and failed to save any of them. and it turns out the one person he thought he’d saved, osha, is still in danger, and that he’s failed his ex-padawan again. no wonder his responsibilities to the council fall by the wayside when sol, a person clearly motivated by love for those close to him, has one final chance to do right by ANYONE in this clusterfuck situation. sol also feels extremely out of control in this series of events, so is grasping for whatever control he can salvage — hence his desperation to do whatever it takes for his mae-saves-osha plan to work and his… questionable methods in accomplishing it.

the implications for sol giving into fear and a need for control like this are certainly juicy. dude is on the struggle bus lately, and this particular struggle bus has a few dark-side-themed stops. also, the irony of sol behaving like this indirectly digging his grave re: the council’s inclination to believe in his dark-sidedness…….. makes me want to lie in a ditch for a while. can’t wait for next week where my theories will probably be proven wrong and also i get to cry on the floor!!!!!!! i <3 the acolyte!!!!!!!

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

Envy Note

(Riza Hawkeye and what appears to be "Roy Mustang" encounter each other in Father's stronghold, Riza with her gun out and Roy poised to use his trademark flame alchemy.)

(Death Note music begins playing.)

Riza's internal monologue, languidly like L: What? Is this the Colonel, or Envy? I know the Colonel doesn't want me here. If this is the real Colonel Mustang, he's going to be on his guard; he'll be trying to figure out if I'm Envy. But if this is Envy, he'll try to lull me into a false sense of security, so that he can play his mind games.

Envy's internal monologue: And here we go! All I need to do is keep it cool; that way, I can take her and the Colonel out, just like Maes Hughes!

"Roy", aloud, relaxing: I ordered you not to come here, Lieutenant.

Riza's internal monologue: Hmm. Why would the Colonel lower his guard? He'd have to know that there was a possibility that the one in front of him was Envy.

(splitscreen-view imagination: one half shows a monochrome-blue Roy facing off against a monochrome-red Riza with Envy's silhouette behind her in the same pose as her; the other half shows a monochrome-red Roy with Envy's silhouette behind him in the same pose as him, facing off against a monochrome-blue Riza.)

Riza's internal monologue: In the world where the one I'm confronting is the real Colonel Mustang, his actions don't make sense -- unless he's completely certain that I'm Envy, and he's only pretending to lower his guard. But I know the Colonel, and he knows me; I like to think that I would be able to tell the difference, even if Envy can't. Whereas, in the world where the one I'm confronting is Envy in disguise ... all he can do is try to predict the Colonel's normal behavior.

(Closeup of monochrome-blue Riza, with glowing blue eyes)

Riza's internal monologue: The real Colonel would test me. And so, I will test Envy: I'll say something which the real Roy would know is obviously false. Hm ... Colonel Mustang knows that I've demonstrated the ability to sit still in one place doing nothing, for an entire night, if I think it's what my commanding officer needs. And so the lie I will tell him is ...

(Back to the real world)

Riza, aloud: Forgive me, sir. I couldn't just stand around doing nothing.

(Closeup of "Roy" nodding impassively. A ghostly smirking Envy is shown behind him.)

Envy's internal monologue: So, the Colonel's lieutenant is just a flake like all the rest. Typical human!

(Imagination: monochome-red Envy and Roy with identical glowing red eyes and wolf-like grins, looming over a monochrome blue Riza.)

Envy's internal monologue: All I need to do now is lead her astray, like a wolf in the fold! This'll be easier than I --

(Imagination: monochrome-blue Riza with glowing blue eyes looking impassive as she looms over a monochrome-red Envy. More intense Death Note music begins playing.)

Riza's internal monologue: Now that is not the way Colonel Roy Mustang would react to Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye disobeying orders. Either this is the Colonel, completely certain that I am Envy, and preparing a trap to confirm it in a way that the real me would recognize -- or this is Envy, completely failing to predict that the Colonel would test whether I am Envy.

(monochrome-blue Riza, standing between a monochrome-red Roy and a monochrome-red Envy.)

Riza's internal monologue: I know what to ask him now. This question will make the real Colonel suspicious about my identity, even if nothing else does. If he responds by attempting to lay a trap for Envy, then he is the Colonel. If he brushes it off and tries to keep me close to him, he is Envy. And so, Envy, I will now lay the real trap for you!

(Real world; the music comes to a dramatic end.)

Riza, aloud: Where's Envy?

(Imagination: glowing red Envy, grinning widely.)

Envy's internal monologue: Gotcha! She thinks I'm the real Colonel Mustang, and her guard is down! From now, I can do whatever I want to her -- and if I find the Colonel, I can do whatever I want to him, with Hawkeye as the bait!

(Real world)

"Roy", shrugging: I lost him. This place is like a damn maze!

"Roy", turning to leave: Stay close to me, Lieutenant. Follow me!

(Closeup of blue monochrome Riza with a "keikaku doori" smirk, as dramatic Death Note music plays.)

Riza's internal monologue: I've won. Nice try, Envy, but the Colonel doesn't want me here, at any cost. It's the entire reason he ordered me not to come here in the first place! Why would he change his mind about ordering me away just because I disobeyed him? Just as planned.

Riza's internal monologue as she points her gun at him: I have you cornered -- and now I'll take you out, before the Colonel gets here!

Envy's internal monologue: Wait wtf.

"Roy", putting his hands up: ... What is the meaning of this, Lieutenant? Do you know who you're aiming at?

(Imagination: monochrome-blue Riza with glowing eyes, pointing her gun at a monochrome-red Envy in the same posture as "Roy")

Riza's internal monologue: Hah. Once again, Envy, you've failed to take into account what the actual Colonel would do if he was in your position. I see it now. The possibility that the one pointing the gun at you could be "Envy, disguised as Riza" doesn't even occur to you, because you are Envy -- and so, it doesn't occur to you that Colonel Mustang would wonder about it! Now, to make you unmask, by turning your own mind games against you! Checkmate.

Riza, aloud: Excuse me? You must be joking. When we're alone, the Colonel always calls me "Riza."

(Closeup of "Roy" surprised.)

Envy's internal monologue: What!? Shit, I didn't consider that possibility -- I've been talking to her the wrong way the whole time, and she picked up on it!?

Envy, dropping his "Roy" disguise: Damn it! So you two are that close, huh!?

Riza: I lied. (perfectly-cut gunshot)

[notyourmoon4528]

Qimir: Mae is back

Qimir : did she get hit on the head and became even stupider then before? She just keeps saying hi.

The stranger : THATS NOT MAE THAT IS MINE.

Qimir: time to start plan thirst trap

...

Is how imagine Qimir's inner monologue when meeting Osha.

[frenchtwistresistance]

Match Game ‘76 Episode 708 Question: Last Christmas Santa Claus must’ve been drunk. Instead of filling my stocking, he filled my _____.

Contestant: That terrible harness all us ladies wear: bra.

Just Some Guy (Ron Palillo from Welcome Back, Kotter [another 50% homosexual panel!]): Well, I was gonna say bra, but I figured why not get as much as you possibly could? So I said pantyhose.

Brett: You know why he didn’t say bra? Nobody he dates wears one anymore.

Ron: You got a point there.

Gene: No, she’s got two!

Brett: You devil!

Gene: I’m a rascal.

Brett almost makes a Fannie Flagg joke but then simply says

Charles: It was the origin of that beautiful Christmas saying.

Gene: What?

Charles: Thank you for helping me. It was the origin of that beautiful Christmas saying.

Gene: Which goes?

Charles: No, the what is better. It’s shorter and it keeps in it meter. It reminds me of that wonderful Christmas saying: My cups runneth over.

The audience is clapping but not that enthusiastically, and Charles is mouthing, “Nothing!” with a bemused grin.

Gene: No, it might’ve worked if you’d said, “My C-cup runneth over.”

Charles: Got off of it in a hurry.

Jo Anne: No it’s a D. It’s really a biggie.

Gene: Speaking of D-cups 😏…

Jo Anne: Oh! Aren’t you cute to notice that with Fannie Flagg right down the street?

Brett: A group of D-cups!

Jo Anne: A brace of D-cups!

Gene: Instead of filling my stocking he filled my _____. And [the contestant] said bra.

Jo Anne: Well since we’re on the subject [operatically]:

Gene: I would’ve said shoes. I’d’ve blown the whole game.

Richard: Another thing I’m taking to the draft board: bra.

Gene: And speaking of…

Fannie: Remember when everybody burned their bra? They didn’t have to run up stairs.

[fulcrum-art-fox]

Also can you imagine if Mae had actually been able to follow through with her stated “turn myself over to Kelnacca” plan and she hadn’t accidentally monologued at her master and left him strung up in the woods and still somehow been slower than him at reaching the house. So she gets there and Kelnacca is still alive and all. Like imagine Mae rocks up to the guy wracked by guilt and who’s drawing her coven symbols everywhere like “hello hi it’s me Mae I’m not dead and actually the whole reason I came to this planet was to kill you but I just found out my sister is alive can you help me” and then she. doesn’t know how he answers. because she can’t speak Wookiee. And yeah it’s super awkward to start with but then they go on a long and arduous journey back to the Jedi temple and it takes forever bc the ships fucked and they keep getting attacked by star wars beasties and also Mae’s former master and Kelnacca earns Mae’s forgiveness for whatever his role in whatever happened was and Mae develops a deeper understanding of the Jedi and who they are past their flaws and they become the unexpected master and padawan duo we never knew we needed and