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scribeofmorpheus · 5 years ago

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As Fate Would Have It (part 18)

Paring: WinterSoldier!Bucky x Spy!Reader

Catch Up here | Masterlist | Words: 4k |

Taglist is open. Send an ask.

Warnings: Themes of contemplative murder… eh, some other stuff. Took a bit of a dark turn.

Note: Alexei Shostakov (Red Guardian) in this story is canon divergent and so will not share any similarities with the version we get in the BW movie. I also haven’t proofread. Comments and feedback is welcome.

Vocabulary: Snezhinka is russian for ‘Snowflake’ and Vot der'mo roughly translates to ‘Shit’. Also, Voroshilov is a tank named after a military general.

Several Months Later…

The window was left the slightest bit open. The winter air crept in like an uninvited guest, blowing the cold onto your toes, making you shiver. You didn’t try to fight it. The cold kept you alert, awake, even if your body protested from lack of sleep and proper nutrition.

You stared over several maps, documents, newspaper cut-outs and conspiracy pamphlets, printed in English, Russian and French, scattered on your desk. The work lamp had taken on a yellowish hue as the bulb started to wane.

Your vision would blur and then snap back to focus as you read over the words that melded together in your brain to form nothing cohesive. No concrete leads, no possible hunches… just nothing. The Winter Soldier was a ghost, and your body felt like it hadn’t recovered from the shock of finding out Bucky was alive. But you had to find something to go on, some small clue you’d overlooked. You couldn’t lose him. Not again. Not like this.

The trail for the Winter Soldier had led you to a small town on the outskirts of Belarus. There was nothing there but chilly weather, suspicious locals and an entire culture of food steeped in fried potatoes and salted meats. Alexei had been reluctant to let you go along with your wild goose chase, but you insisted that you were going anyway, no matter where it led you, and he insisted on being backup.

The keys jingled before the lock to your rented hostel room click and turned. Alexei walked in with snow dusting the shoulders of his red leather jacket that strained at the seams against his large frame. Two paper cups were in his hands. It didn’t escape you that the earthy, dark aroma of coffee didn’t pervade from the steaming liquid.

“That better be coffee, Alexei,” you said with the panache of someone with a short fuse.

Alexei laughed as he balanced the paper cups and locked the door behind him, his neck and upper spine bending so he could pass through the doorway. “Any more coffee and you’ll get a heart attack.”

“At this point, it would be an improvement!” You slammed your fist in frustration, chasing loose leaflets to the floor.

“No new leads, I see,” Alexei handed you the cup of tea. A gentle smile on his face pulling his cheeks back and relaxing the age lines around his mismatched blue and brown eyes. He may have looked closer to fifty, but from his size and athletic ability, he was as formidable as a bodybuilder in his twenties. “You should rest, Snezhinka. You can’t help anybody if you can’t even stand straight.”

“I am standing straight!” you contested.

Alexei poked your upper-chest with his index finger lightly and you staggered like a piece of paper blown by the wind. The hot tea sloshed over the edges and just missed your shirt.

“Vot der'mo!” you swore as you steadied yourself.

“See?” Alexei cocked his head to the side with a proud smirk.

You frowned at him, peering your eyes like daggers. How did he not understand how important finding Bucky was to you? You had told him everything after that night in Versailles. Seeing Bucky alive, talking to him, having a piece of that life you thought was dead return from the grave only to be swept away, leaving you with more questions than answers, that messed with your head. You needed someone to talk to, someone to keep you from spiralling too far. And you trusted Alexei, with your life if need be. He had been the one who found you and offered you a job with the company. Working, keeping busy, it had saved you. It gave you something to distract yourself with while everyone around you aged and moved on with their lives.

“I can’t stop!”

Alexei sighed as he sat on a weak, wooden chair that creaked under his weight, “I’m not telling you to stop, Snezhinka. I’m telling you to rest.”

“I can’t. Every minute I waste is another minute that he’s out there, getting further and further away from my grasp!” You were being unfair and loud, and it was just like Alexei to let you go through the motions. He just took your tantrum with no judgement. “Don’t you see? I have to find him! I have to-- If you knew him like I did, if you saw how broken he was in that room…” You drank a sip of the tea with shaky hands to soothe the dryness growing in your throat.

Alexei sighed, his chin falling onto the sharp protruding joints of his shoulder bones as he stared at the spot where his ribs had been fractured by Bucky. “This Voroshilov really means that much to you, even after he tried to kill you?”

Voroshilov. That nickname never ceased to make your lips twitch upwards. Alexei had started referring to Bucky as Voroshilov because, as he put it, fighting the Winter Soldier was like going toe-to-toe with a Russian heavy tank.

“He does. When I was a child, I had nothing… No one, except…” The image of Yelena, young and scruffy around the edges popped into your head. You drowned the image out with another sip. “Then the Widow’s took us in. And they trained us to let go of everything that made us who we were, but a part of me kept dreaming. Kept hoping there was something better out there. He became that dream for me. He gave me my humanity back. The least I can do is do the same for him.”

Alexei set his cup down and nodded, “Okay.”

“Okay?” you repeated in confusion.

“Okay,” Alexei said as if you hadn’t heard him the first time. Then he sat up and left the room.

Alexei had been gone for days and the only thing you could do from going up the walls was focus on the outdated intel piling up in your small room. The files would range from ambiguous speculation about a shadow organisation that stole the homeless from the streets to experiment on them, to horror stories of a ruthless killer who was more machine than man. No matter which thread you tugged, it always ended up being a snipped end not tied to anything else.

When Alexei returned, he had a bruised nose, a black eye and raw knuckles.

“What the hell happened to you?” you asked.

“Broker double-crossed me.”

You rushed to his side with gauze and rubbing alcohol, but he simply shook his head and pulled out a thin, manila file stamped with Cyrillic letters obscuring the KGB seal. He swapped the file for the rubbing alcohol and walked over to the mirror to tend to his own wounds.

You huffed in amazement as you tentatively opened the manila jacket, heart pounding like a jackhammer. “You know, you could have just told me what your plan was before you barged out of here.”

“You needed to rest,” Alexei said simply, wincing when the alcohol-drenched gauze came in contact with several scrapes and cuts on his face.

You flipped through heavily redacted pages about a former Hydra operative who defected to the KGB once Hydra lost the war. In the legible areas of text, the operative was quoted as having mentioned a super-soldier with a metal arm. The report was over forty years old and the lead was flimsy at best, but it was still more than you had to go on a second ago.

“Can we trust this?” you asked.

Alexei had finished cleaning himself up and wiped his hands on a beige towel, “For the most part.”

“It’s not much to go on.”

He cracked a smile, “Your gratitude warms my heart, Snezhinka. As always.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, “My gratitude is always implied. I just can’t believe you went through all this trouble for another dead end.”

Alexei tossed a set of keys at you. You caught them effortlessly without looking away from the blacked-out pages. “What’re these?”

“Keys.”

“I can see that. Why are you giving me keys?”

Alexei pulled out your duffle bag from under the bed and started tossing what little extra clothing you had into it. “Because the broker mentioned where that operative is hiding.”

Your eyes grew large, a twinkle of excitement and hope bubbling to the surface of your weary face. “What?”

“I didn’t bloody my knuckles for an outdated file, little one.” He zipped up your duffle bag and flung it over one of his shoulders. “You’re driving. I need some sleep.”

“Where are we going?”

“Home.”

Reality hit you like a tonne of bricks. Russia. You hadn’t been back since that harrowing day in the mountains. Chills travelled up your spine like minute pinpricks, reminding you of the trail of scars and needle marks that never faded from your back. You instantly dropped the manila file onto the adjacent table, tied your hair with a hair tie banded around your wrist and pocketed the car keys.

Your snowboots crunched into the sleet covered ground. The dissolving ice covering the driveway was slippery, sparkling with shards of rock salt. You looked up at the old, pre-war building with bars blocking the windows and layers of limescale turning the white of the walls to sloppy brown from years of rain.

You turned to look at Alexei as you slammed the car door shut, “Are you sure this is the place?”

Alexei took the final puff from his rolled cigarette and crushed it under his foot, pulling the collar of his thick jacket closer to his neck. “Trust me, this is the place. I put the fear of God himself into that weasley broker. He wouldn’t lie.”

You looked at the signpost dug into the earth next to the steps of the building. Reading the word ‘sanatorium’ made your stomach flip and turn in discomfort. In another life, you could have easily seen yourself being strapped to one of the many beds kept in that building. Shouting insane things like, “I don’t age,” and “I saw a dead man come back from the grave with a metal arm and no memories of me.”

You sighed, “Of course this is the place.”

Alexei chuckled dryly.

The two of you walked into the building looking like two fugitives afraid of being identified by someone in the right place at the wrong time. The large door creaked like an effect out of a horror movie, making you more on edge than before. You scanned the area in search of anything that stood out. There was nothing outwardly threatening besides the muffled moans of patients locked behind doors and spots of discolouration that could’ve been anything between vomit or dried blood. Your nose itched for no reason.

Alexei made his way with giant steps towards the receptionist that looked like a dried-out raisin smeared with red lipstick and wearing grey scrubs. He put on his most dashing smile and turned his charm up to eleven. The previously hostile and disinterested looking receptionist transformed into a model of etiquette and false politeness. You bit back a smile and tried to keep your gaze on the bare, undecorated walls of the institution. Alexei snuck some cash under his palm towards the receptionist who disappeared into a back office, and after a few minutes, another staff member with a baton strapped to his hip unlocked a metal door and nodded his head for you and Alexei to follow him.

The moans were louder now, and more blood-curling. You walked for a while, passing row after row of locked metal doors rusting at the hinges. The man stopped next to an open doorway that led to a pathetic looking recreational lounge filled with old board games and stacks of questionable books.

“Five minutes,” he said with no life on his face or in his voice.

You nodded and took a step, then the man pulled out his baton to act as a barricade between you and the doorway. “Only one.” He looked up at Alexei.

Alexei narrowed his eyes but took a step back. “I’ll wait here,” he said. “The patient’s number is 28.”

You shot Alexei an apologetic look and made your way into the rec-room. Your eyes bounced from one old and greying patient to the next, looking out for the one with the number 28 stitched onto their clothes. It was surreal, being here. You looked at each wrinkled, sagging face accompanied by thick, or thinning heads of silver hair and saw a little of yourself in each of those strangers faces. Had time been kind to you, you would have looked exactly like them. Several patients regarded you with curiosity and scepticism. Your white hair seemed to catch a lot of inquisitive eyes.

Feeling like a circus freak put on a pedestal, you swallowed your anxious thoughts and pushed forward. In the back, facing a window that looked out onto a walled fence, sat a frail, feminine form with long, oily greying hair. The number 28 was stitched onto her clothes.

“Can I join you?” you asked the old woman.

She stared blankly at the wall, head tilted at an uncomfortable angle, fully formed cataracts in her eyes. You realised then that she wasn’t staring out the window, she was blind.

“Your accent is different,” the old woman said with a knowing smile that made the hairs on your arms stand erect.

“Do I know you?”

“You’re voice is still young. How is that?”

You moved closer to her, trying to see past the age on her face, down to what she would’ve looked like had you known her in another time. And then, like a spark to gasoline, your brain caught on fire with years of unresolved anger.

“Kathy?” you said her name with utter disdain.

The old lady made a croaking noise that was intended to be a laugh, “In the flesh.”

You had dreamt about coming face to face with Kathy many times when you were in that Hydra facility. Your hatred toward her and Yelena was one of your five-a-day in that cramped prison cell. On coherent nights, you had imagined exacting vengeance on them both. Countless times, in countless ways. Driving a knife between her ribs until you punctured her heart. Poisoning her food. Snapping her neck. Burying her alive in a cold steel coffin like the one she had locked you in. In every one of those scenarios, Kathy was always the same age as the last time you saw her. Picturing this feeble, old woman with purpling veins and cloudy eyes in young Kathy’s stead somehow didn’t seem as satisfying. Time had dealt her a bad hand. She had had her comeuppance. And it angered you that it wasn’t by your hands.

“What, no hug?” she jabbed.

“Screw you,” your hands balled into fists, nails piercing through your tough skin.

“There she is,” Kathy let out another croaky laugh, her bony, crooked fingers reaching out for your face. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

You recoiled and took a step away, folding your arms to prevent yourself from doing something you’d regret, “I came here for answers.”

Kathy moved her head for the first time since you started talking, shifting it to crane up. Her eyes were directed nowhere near where you were standing. “So… you need something from me?”

You kept your jaw shut tight. Not giving her the satisfaction of an answer.

“Fine, but you have to do something for me first.”

“You must be nuttier than a nut-bar if you think I’ll do a thing to help you!” you whisper shouted to not upset the other patients.

“Trust me, this is something you won’t want to pass up.”

Begrudgingly, you took the bait, “Spit it out.”

“I need you to swear to me that after I tell you what you want to know, you’ll kill me.” Kathy’s face was stone-cold serious. No fluctuation in her voice or twitch of her facial muscles. She proceeded to try and explain herself, perhaps in an attempt to persuade you to feel empathetic to her current state. “You have no idea what it’s like for me here. The slop they force down my throat each day that they pass for food. The constant rotation of meds that makes me feel like a damned lab rat. The humiliation of needing someone to change my sheets when I piss myself. And I can’t even read a book to pass the time.”

“Even if I wanted to, it’s not like the security here is lax.”

“You’re a fucking spider. You and I both know the locks on those doors aren’t enough to stop you.”

You were conflicted, and a little bit surprised by her request, but you would say or do just about anything to find Bucky. Your soul was damned enough already. “Fine.”

“Swear it!” Her hand snatched onto yours, scaring you for a brief second. “And I’ll know if you’re lying.”

The patients were growing rowdy from the disruption caused by Kathy’s shout. You yanked your hand away and signalled for Alexei to relax his shoulders when he looked like he was about to charge through the much smaller guard beside him.

You stared into Kathy’s eyes, knowing full well she couldn’t see you and answered truthfully, “I swear.”

She smiled, pleased with your answer, then she placed her hand back on the armrest. “What do you want to know?”

You dragged a chair over and sat close enough so Kathy’s whispers wouldn’t be a problem but far enough so that she couldn’t reach for you again. “In a KGB report written in ’47, you mentioned you had come in contact with a man with a metal arm during your last mission as Hydra. I want to know what happened.”

“Der Wintersoldat,” she said. “I remember that mission like it were yesterday. Are you sure you want to hear this story? It may be hard to swallow.”

“I’ve been to hell and back. A damn story isn’t going to be the worst of it.”

Kathy licked her dry lips and cleared her throat so she could speak clearer, softer. “After the war ended and Schmidt was defeated, a power vacuum tore at the heart of Hydra. The allies were rooting us out all over Europe. I was part of a division tasked with finding and obtaining any samples of the Erskine’s serum and destroying any evidence.”

You frowned, “Why would Hydra ask you to destroy their own serum?”

“I wasn’t tasked with finding Hydra samples,” Kathy coughed a dry, raspy cough. “There were rumours of the Russian’s having a sample. Intelligence said they had already started testing the serum on viable candidates. So while the Allies hunted Hydra, I hunted the Russian’s –could you get me some water? My throat is dryer than my scheide.”

You took a long, pensive breath and then got up from your chair to grab one of the plastic cups staked next to a plastic jug of water. When you returned to your seat, you handed her the cup and watched impatiently as she sipped slowly. The guard tapped his wrist, his body language leaning more towards annoyed. You held up five fingers to ask for more time but he looked to be heading your way. Immediately, Alexei put one hand on the guard's shoulder, spun him around and clocked him hard enough to knock him out instantly. Alexei caught the guard before he could tumble, shrugged at you innocently before placing the guard on the floor gently.

“Your friend's got quite a way with the locals,” Kathy joked before handing you the cup and continuing: “I had managed to discover the whereabouts of the Widow’s main operations. To think, the Red Room was moonlighting as a group home for the displaced and orphaned youths of the war, much like yourself I gather.” She chuckled. “Smart. Hiding in plain sight. The only problem was, our numbers weren’t sufficient for an attack, and with the rumours circulating of potential super soldiers being trained by the dozen, we didn’t have the manpower. So Hydra sent one of their remaining assets to assist.”

You knew instantly who she was referring to, “The Winter Soldier.”

“Yes,” Kathy held back another cough. “Until that night, I had thought him to be nothing more than a ghost story, but he was very, very real. One of his arms was made entirely of impenetrable metal. I never saw his face, only his eyes. I had never seen such hollow, soulless eyes before. He single-handedly shifted the fight in our favour, and he was… unstoppable. The next thing I knew, smoke was rising from broken windows and screams were lost to the fires.”

You blinked repeatedly, trying to remind yourself that Bucky and the Winter Soldier weren’t the same person. They couldn’t be. Suddenly it was all making sense. That’s why he’d looked so broken, it’s because he was. Hydra had turned him into… a monster. Was he the reason Yelena was missing an eye? Did he really kill all the Widows?

You rubbed your face and eyes with the ends of your fingers and tried to keep calm. Despite the rise of bile in your gullet and the feeling of dread filling your empty stomach, you held strong. “What happened next?” your voice wavered.

Kathy’s eyelids grew heavy, her head slowly anchoring down. “Some of the Widows managed to escape, the Winter Soldier made it his priority to hunt every last one down. The ones we got talking revealed there wasn’t an army of super soldiers. Most of their experiments had failed. There was only one subject who survived. A boy.” She paused for a moment, the memory bearing too much emotional heft for her to cruise through apathetically. “I found him hiding in the woods. Scared, alone and young. So, so young. But I had my orders…”

Suddenly, Alexei snapped his fingers at the doorway to get your attention. A whistle blew as the sound of feet running your way echoed throughout the concrete walls. “Snezhinka, we are out of time!”

“Hold them off for a few minutes, please.”

Alexei nodded and barrelled down the hall like a gladiator of Rome. The sound of grunting and fighting made its way to your ears, and the ears of all the other patients, causing them to burst into hysterics. Several guards shouted in Russian before they met Alexei’s fists, but you blocked it all out, focusing only on Kathy.

“Kathy, we’re running out of time. What happened next?”

Kathy was lost in her memory, disassociating for a moment, “The boy, he looked at me with such childlike fear. Nothing had shaken me like those brown and blue eyes of his. So peculiar. So rare… So beautiful. I had to let him go. I had to. But my team wouldn’t listen to reason so I killed them. All of them. And then I ran. I changed my name, my hair… And my reward was this.”

The mention of a boy with brown and blue eyes shook you to your core. The thought was there, waiting to come to the surface, but it couldn’t be. The coincidence was too high. It couldn’t be the same person.

Kathy laughed maniacally as more of the patients burst into an uproar. You shook her at the collar of her clothes to try and get her to return to her senses, “Kathy, I need you to focus. The soldier, you must know something about him, anything!”

“Before he left –the soldier–he mentioned a place to one of his men.”

“What place?” you had to stop yourself from shaking her a second time.

Kathy whispered, “Siberia.”

You released your grip on Kathy just as Alexei stormed back into the room with a sweaty brow. “We’re leaving, now!” he urged.

“It’s fine, I got what I came for,” you looked at Kathy one more time before walking away.

“Our deal?” She shouted in anger, confusion visible on her weathered face. “I heard it on your voice. You didn’t lie. You swore!”

You smirked, a slithering darkness surrounding your next words, “I am killing you, Kathy. Just like I promised. I’m just giving you a chance to die slowly.”

Alexei stared at you as if you had turned into a stranger, and in turn, you looked at him the same way. The two of you made your way through the facility, taking down a few more guards along the way, and got back into your car. Police sirens bellowed out from down the road as you sped away in the opposite direction.

Chapter 19 coming soon!

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x you #reader insert #afwhi #black widow #red room #marvel #mcu

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skyheaven1231 · 8 years ago

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As fate would have it - Chapter 32

Possible Manga spoilers up until chapter 54

Chapter 32 - Lonely

Words: 3254

“How could you Hiyori? How could you betray me like that?”, Yato said crying.

“I told you I'm sorry!”, the half phantom answered guiltily, “I didn't mean to and I won't ever do it again, okay? Please forgive me!”

“This is too much! I don't know how I should deal with that! I'm hurt, I never thought you would do something like this!”

Yato and Hiyori were standing in the common room of the hospital. Luckily there was no one beside them at the moment.

The blue eyed god had rushed inside, still wearing Hiyori's rather girly looking apron and acting totally stressed out.

While Hiyori apologized over and over, her brother entered the room.

“Oh Yato! What are you doing her....”, he stopped as he noticed that they seemed to be arguing, “Did I interfere something? What's going on, you look pretty miserable!”

“Hi-Hiyori why did you doo thiiiiiis?”, Yato once again whined like a child that lost his teddy bear.

“I'm sorry Yato! Please don't be like that, I said I'll never do it again!”

Masaomi stood between the two and followed their conversation, putting one hand at his chin as he listened interested. His head moved back and forth between his sister and her boyfriend while they repeated the same sentences again and again until he started to get an idea on what they were talking about. “W-Wait a minute!”, he interfered the two, “Hiyori, did you cheat on him?”

Both, Yato and Hiyori immediately stopped talking and looked at him with the most shocked expression they could make. “OF COURSE NOT!”, they shouted in unison.

“What do you take me for? You are my brother! You should know me better than that!”, Hiyori raged.

“I-I j-just … “, Masaomi stuttered, “But what are you arguing about then?”

“We aren't arguing! She forgot the lunch I prepared for her at home!”, Yato answered with big puppy eyes.

Masaomi's jaw dropped open as he said: “That's ridiculous! Well at least it explains the apron. And here I was thinking you two had a serious fight. My bad, for a moment I actually thought you'd have the same problems like every other couple.”

“WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”, the two once again yelled in unison.

“You guys should get married, seriously. You already act like an old married couple”, Hiyori's brother decided to tease them.

Before they could react to the teasing, Hiyori's and Masaomi's beepers started to make alarming noises.

“We are needed in the emergency department!”, Hiyori declared while she was already leaving the common room together with her brother.

“A-Alright”, Yato yelled after her and watched how Hiyori ran down the corridor.

Being left behind all on his owns made Yato feel uneasy.

Especially in a place like the hospital. That's why he decided to go after Hiyori and her brother.

Easier said than done. The hospital was huge and gave him a hard time to find the emergency department. He was walking around for almost an hour until he finally found what he was looking for. In front of a little window, giving an insight into the room, Yato saw a couple holding on to each other. They were fixating whatever was going on inside with worried expressions on their faces.

When Yato was close enough to see inside, he could make out Hiyori and her brother surrounded by a few nurses, hectically saying things that he couldn't hear.

On a bed, there was a little girl, covered in wounds and blood, connected to a bunch of machines that suddenly started to make alarming sounds.

“What is happening?”, the woman next to Yato shrieked, “What is happening to our little girl?”

“Shhhh. Calm down dear, the doctors are doing what they can to save our daughter. It'll be alright!”

It seemed as if those two hadn't noticed Yato's presence.

Nothing new for the god.

But right now, it was for the best if they didn't notice him. They had enough going on as things were.

The god figured that those two were parents that were fearing for their daughter's life and all of a sudden, Yato felt terrible.

He was reminded of the time when Tsuki was sick and unconscious. How she looked as she was laying on her bed, not moving and looking as fragile as a porcelain doll. The feeling of being helpless while your own daughter was fighting for her life, not being able to do a single thing to help her, was something no parent ever wanted to experience.

Something was happening. Hiyori and Masaomi walked around hectically and while Hiyori started to perform resuscitation measures, her brother got a defibrillator. “NOO! NOO! Not our daughter! Please!”, the woman next to Yato cried out and sank to her knees, dragging her partner down with her.

“It'll be alright dear! It'll be alright!”, the man consoled his shaking wife.

It wasn't even a minute but it felt like an eternity until the alarming sound finally faded and the usual tone of a steady heartbeat returned. The siblings had managed to save the little girl just in time.

After a little more time, Hiyori and Masaomi left the room and through a big door next to them, they joined the parents of the girl who started to shake their hands and thanked them for saving their daughter.

“No need to thank us!”, Hiyori answered, “I'm glad we could save her. She is still a little unstable and we have to observe her for the night but her life isn't at stake anymore.” “It could take a while until she wakes up though. She needs time to recover properly but she won't have any long lasting damage”, Masaomi completed Hiyori's statement, “If you excuse me now, I'm needed somewhere else.”

A nurse appeared and led the parents into a room to wait until they were able to see their daughter while Hiyori discovered Yato standing right in front of the window.

“Yato! What are you doing here?”, she asked stunned.

“I … I, uhm …”, he stuttered.

He didn't know what to say. It was the first time he had seen Hiyori during work. The first time he saw what she was capable of.

“Hey, is something wrong?”, the half phantom asked concerned and got closer.

“It's … it's just that ...”, he continued to stutter, his eyes still looking at the tiny girl.

“It's what?”, Hiyori put a hand on his back.

She knew that when Yato started to be hesitant, he needed some kind of support. Even if it was a bare touch to make him feel her presence.

“I'm always stunned how amazing you are”, he said, “You fought so hard to save this girl's life. W-When I saw her I just froze. I thought about what I would do if it was Tsuki in her place and I wouldn't be able to react at all. And you … You … You stayed so calm.”

“That's my job! I learned how to deal with situations like this. Of course, I think about Tsuki as well in times like these and it scares me but that's what keeps me going as well.”

“It takes so much effort to save a life. So much work. And it only takes a bare second to end one”, Yato now faced the ground, feeling terribly guilty.

He had taken so many many lives during his existence as a god and seeing how hard Hiyori had fought to save only one made him aware how screwed up his past truly was. What kind of a monster he was, that only brought despair to the people around him.

Hiyori knew exactly what was going on inside of Yato's head right now. After all the time she knew him, it was crystal clear that he was blaming himself for his past again.

She cupped his face in order to make him look at her and said: “That's not who you are anymore! We've talked about this already and you need to stop blaming yourself all the time. You want to be a better god now and make people happy! That is what counts. You've changed and I believe in you!”

Yato smiled, feeling how his doubts slowly disappeared while Hiyori gently drew little circles with her thumbs on his cheeks. It tickled and at the same time, it was the most soothing feeling that Yato had ever felt. He rested his hands on hers and bent forward until his and Hiyori's foreheads touched.

“I love you!”, he whispered gently before he leaned forward even more and brushed over Hiyori's lips with his own.

Hiyori returned the kiss and embraced him.

“So what's the real reason you came here?”, she asked all of a sudden, “I doubt you just came because you were upset about me forgetting the lunch you prepared.”

“What do you mean? Of course that was the reason!”, the god defended himself but all he got was a skeptical look from his girlfriend. “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! You got me! I felt lonely! I'm all alone at home. Tsuki and Yukine are at school and you are at work. I don't get any job calls and without Yukine I can't go out to hunt down Ayakashi. It's so boring when you're all alone, so I wanted to visit you. What's wrong with that?”, the god whined.

“You know that you could have told me that from the beginning, do you?”, she asked.

“Yeah.”

“There, there!”, Hiyori said and petted his had as if he were a cat, “You are such a housewife!”

“NOW THAT'S JUST PLAIN INSULTING! I'm a god, not a housewife!”, Yato countered while Hiyori started giggling.

“I know, I know. Come on, I wanna show you something if you are here already”, she took Yato's hand and lead him to the elevator.

The god didn't know where Hiyori was heading but then they reached a corridor where Hiyori stopped in front of a door and checked if someone was inside.

“Alright no one is here, we can go. Come on”, she said happily and dragged the god inside.

There was a big bed in the middle of the room and next to that, there was a smaller one that seemed to be for babies.

“I-Is that?”, Yato stuttered as he began to realize what Hiyori wanted to show him.

“Yes. This is the room where Tsuki was born”, she answered with a smile, “I still remember it as if it was yesterday. I usually tried to avoid coming here because of the same reasons why I hated my scar. But ever since you drew that beautiful picture on it, I can come here without feeling sad. I can finally see the good things that happened in this room. Like the first time I heard Tsuki cry, the first time I saw her and held her in my arms before she was put into the incubator. And it's all thanks to you.”

Yato didn't know how to feel. He was standing in the room where Hiyori had given birth to their daughter. He felt sad because he hadn't been there when it happened, that he couldn't support her during such an emotional event and at the same time, he was kind of happy.

Happy to be in the place where Tsuki first saw the light of day.

There was a big wall behind him that had a lot of photos pinned on it. Photos of women with their new born children.

“We always put them up here if the parents are alright with it. That way it feels a little more like home for the women giving birth. We have these walls in all the delivery rooms”, Hiyori explained, noticing Yato's interest in the pictures.

Right in the middle, the god's gaze was immediately caught by a familiar face. “That's you and Tsuki isn't it?”, he asked.

“Yes. It was taken right after her birth. She was so tiny.”

On the picture, an exhausted and yet happy Hiyori held a small bundle in her arms that was barley as big as her head. She had tears in her eyes, her hair was messed up but Yato had never seen a happier expression on her face.

“I know. I look horrible”, Hiyori broke the awkward silence.

“Not at all!”, Yato countered, “You look so beautiful! Both of you!”

Hiyori took Yato's arm and rested her head on his shoulder. “Say, Hiyori”, Yato asked, “Do you remember anything from that evening at Kofuku's place?”

“Oh please don't remind me of it! I still have no idea what happened”, she answered annoyed, “Why do you ask?”

“Well … You, kinda … said something.”

“What did I say?”, she started to feel a bit uneasy about the way Yato's mood had changed.

“You asked me what I'd think about another child. And … I … I thought about it a lot lately to be honest. Even more right now. I just wanted to know if you really meant what you were saying or if it was because you were drunk.”

It truly lasted on Yato's mind. At first he thought that it was because of the alcohol or that she used it as an allusion for sexual interactions. But the more he thought about it and the possibility that Hiyori could actually think about having another child together, it started to eat him up.

“I DID WHAT?!”, the half Ayakashi screamed in shock, “I … I … UM … I DIDN'T … WELL … I WAS DRUNK! I DIDN'T MEAN TO … ”

Yato was looking her straight in the eyes even though he was blushing like a teenager once again. A gesture that signalized that the god was being serious. That he was trying to have a proper talk about it.

“I uhm … “, she continued, more sincere this time, “To be honest, I don't know. I-I mean, we never actually planned to have a baby in the first place and it really shocked me when I found out about it. And then you were gone for such a long time. I'm still trying to get it in my head that you and the others are back in my life, so there was no time to think about stuff like that. Don't get me wrong though, I love you and sure, under normal circumstances I would love to have another child. But … Things with Tsuki already went so risky you know. Living through that again … I don't know if I could … If I'd be able to … “

When tears started to appear in her eyes, Yato took her into his arms.

“I can't even imagine how hard this must have been for you. Being all alone with all that pressure on your shoulders. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there by your side! I'm so sorry! If I could turn back time and make everything right, I would do it! I would go back and be right there beside you, holding your hand, never leaving your side! Be a good father that is there for his daughter from the very beginning! Support you in every way I can! I wish I could have done all those things!”, his voice started shaking.

The guilt he felt was still as strong as it was when he first learned about everything that Hiyori had experienced.

He wouldn't have been surprised if she hated him for leaving her.

He wouldn't have been surprised if she never wanted to see him again.

But she didn't feel like that.

She still wanted to be with him.

How did he deserve someone like her?

“Don't say that!”, Hiyori interfered Yato's thoughts, “You didn't know! I never told you so it's my fault as well! I should have told you about Tsuki as soon as I learned about it but I didn't! Because I was too scared to do it. And you were only trying to protect me! To protect Yukine! Please stop to blame yourself all the time! You did everything because you thought you would protect us! There is no reason to be sorry about anything! Jeez you are hopeless, will you never get that?”, she once again tried to console him.

And she was right.

What Yato did was only in means to protect her. Her, Yukine and everyone who was important to him. But still, he felt guilt that probably would never completely vanish.

Even though, together with her by his side, he was sure he could start forgiving himself bit by bit.

“So what about you?”, Hiyori asked, changing the topic.

“What?”, he asked confused.

“Would you like another child?”

Yato's face showed that he didn't expect that question from her at all.

“I … Well … I still, kinda … have to get that whole father stuff myself. I guess I feel the same way you do. Sure another child would be great and all and I would be really happy about it. But as things are right now ... We have enough drama as it is. Even though you wouldn't have to go through everything alone a second time! I would be there for you every day, every hour, hell every second and make sure you are alright!”

Hiding her face in his chest, Hiyori mumbled: “That's a rather annoying thought though!”

“WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”, Yato asked with a joking hysteria in his voice. “Hahaha. Having you around all day would be like looking after another baby!”, she teased him in a loving way.

“I'm hurt Hiyori! I thought you liked having me around!”

“I do! But there is a limit of how much 'Yato'-ness I can bare at a time.”

“There is no such thing as too much 'Yato'-ness! C'mon I'm being serious here!”, Yato put his hands on his hips to make clear that he wasn't joking.

Hiyori was looking at him for a short moment before she started to laugh, saying: “How am I supposed to take you serious when you're still wearing my apron! Too much pink ruffles for you if you ask me!”

Yato was in fact still wearing the apron. It must have been a hilarious picture, seeing him wander around in the hospital looking like the biggest housewife in existence. This was one of the times when Yato was happy that people couldn't see him that easily.

“WHY AM I STILL WEARING THIS?!?”, he shrieked.

“You are a housewife through and through after all!”, Hiyori said trying to control her laughter.

“But I am your housewife!”, the god said, holding out his arms as a sign for Hiyori to hug him.

But she didn't.

Instead she left the room and said: “I have to get back to work now! You can go home and take care of the chores! See you later! I love you!”

And with that she was gone.

“HIYOOOORIIIIIII! YOU ARE SO MEAAAAAAAN!”, Yato yelled after her. What a dork, Hiyori thought as she made her way back to the common room, where she ate the lunch Yato had prepared for her.

Next Chapter: Unknown powers

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