#madi talks

[sturnsmadl]

matt with a yapper s/o headcannons!

matt who always admires u as u speak.

matt who nods and hums to make sure u know ur heard.

matt who gets all the drama from just listening to u speak.

“and she said that to u?”

“yes! i was so sad.”

“i would’ve beat her ass for u.”

matt who gets nervous when u go quiet.

“babe? u awake?”

matt who ‘needs’ u to explain everything to him as an excuse to hear u talk.

“how do i preheat the oven?”

matt who smiles as he sees u happy as u talk.

matt who comes straight home to ask u about ur day.

“how was today baby?”

“god i have so much to say.”

“go on.”

matt who asks for ur opinion on everything so he can hear u speak passionately about something.

“hey babe? what’s ur opinion on pineapple on pizza?”

matt who facetimes u as much as possible when he’s on tour.

matt who randomly kisses u while ur talking.

matt who reassures u when u stop talking.

“keep going. i’m listening”

matt who when u speak immediately puts his phone down to listen.

matt who snapped at u once and immediately felt bad when u went quiet.

“oh..”

“oh baby i’m so sorry..keep talking please i didn’t mean it babe i promise i love u talking okay?”

matt who thinks ur the sweetest girl ever.

“i ended up just apologising because yk i-“

“babe come on. u didn’t do anything wrong don’t let them tell u that u did okay?”

matt who when fucking u makes sure ur aware of the effect he has. .

“got nothing to say now huh? come on baby u know i love hearing ur voice”

“i-i can’t-“

“yes u can. use ur words.”

i’ve never hated something i’ve wrote sm

tags!

@sassysturniolo2008 @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersslut @ellizzyy @strmbolisworld

[skynapple]

Our office pet sea urchin today was like 🧿^🧿

LOOK AT HIM

[tanalorrs-heartthrob]

I have thoughts about Cal's trust issues and I'm going to make it everyone's problem

(with special thanks to @cal-with-a-kesett-tape and @weadapt's problem cause they started this blubbering mess)

It hit me like a brick earlier.

Cal knew the Mantis crew loved him.

Love wasn't enough to make them stay.

Cal has never had the chance to really sit down and think about what attachments really were and how they feel. Hear me out.

This started about Cal's trust issues. I started thinking yeah, the way his Mantis crew family left all of a sudden really shook them and he kind of replaced them subconsciously with a new crew, a new family. A couple of quick notes:

- Lost his master

- Loses all his friends on Bracca (it's implied in Jedi Survivor post-game dialogue that he had other friends besides Prauf that he left behind)

- Prauf

- Crew he grew to love left him jarring his whole world

- Lost his "new" crew suddenly and all he has left of that memory is Bode so he kind of clings to Bode unknowingly

- Bode betrayal shatters him

- Clings to the idea that he and Dagan could work together - for a split second you can see in his eyes he sees it all. He and Dagan, hair flowing in the wind, swinging lightsabers, fighting the empire together, rebuilding the order together, it's romantic really. That lasts all of 2 seconds and he's so confused.

- He loses Cordova, a man he had a pseudo-connection through BD-1 with for so long

- Loses Cere, his second master

- Has to literally kill Bode and live with that

That said, I started thinking yeah he probably doesn't really realize that how deep that all goes within him or how much it actually comes down to his lack of really knowing what attachments are. This is going to cause so many trust issues and him closing himself off because he can't handle the reality of losing more people, especially after Bode shattered his inner-most circle. How's he going to let people in again?

Then it hit me like a brick.

There's a big reason why he sees so much of himself in Dagan. Dagan's attachments turned sour - it went the Vader route of being possessive. His obsession with Sentari's project and Tanalorr was a product of not being able to let his attachments go. That's pretty clear in the game, and mirrored in how Cal has allowed "The Fight" to become his attachment.

Jaro's last words are, "Hold the line" right? We know how he now has this deep engrained need to be needed. He has to fight for something. Yes, it's all he knows, but it's deeper than that, it's the last thread he has to his master. What would happen if he let that go? Cal hasn't really sat and thought about that yet.

Not only that, Cal has internalized his loyalty to this cause as like. A familial thread. The fight was his thing and the Mantis crew became his family, filling a void. The fight is their thing. And for the first time in his life Cal feels safe again. He's finally got some solidly dedicated efforts and people he can depend on. So in them leaving the Fight behind (for good reasons!!) Cal can't reconcile that leaving that isn't leaving him too, (or as @cal-with-a-kesett-tape puts it, abandoning him) it's like denouncing loyalty to him too. He just can't separate that connection and his own attachment. Maybe that's reaching and obviously there's more to it, but I dunno guys, I dunno!!

YOU CAN LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE CAN AND WILL LEAVE OF THEIR OWN VOLITION!!

AND HE CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW THAT LOVE GETS POURED OUT IN HIS LIFE. CAL'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS LITERALLY LOYALTY AND QUALITY TIME AND THE FIGHT.

Again, there's a part of Cal that just never got to stand beside his master like the Padawans of the Republic Era got to and ask all their questions or be scolded like the way Ahsoka did about being too attached to her Master. She had to dig deep and understand what that meant, how to acknowledge it, and how to let it go. Cal has Cere but maybe she just assumed? Who knows. Cal obviously struggled with it more than anyone realized. No discredit to Cere, I just don't think it ever really crossed her mind. Or, you know, Cal's stupid stubborn especially with Cere. Maybe he just ignored her in classic Cal fashion.

All that stemmed from this:

The romance aspect.

He knows taking a romantic step forward is a risk in general. And yes there's all that subconscious hesitation because he's a Jedi. But there's a bigger problem at play with Merrin.

I have to wonder if he did in fact know how she felt about him before she left. And if he did, it's just so much worse.

To him, all this buildup of love and trust. Down the refresher the day she left. So I wonder, maybe a lot of his hesitation isn't about him accepting his feelings. Maybe he gets it. He just struggles with letting someone in again who, in his mind, so easily let him go. He now has to come to terms that he wants to ask her to stay. He has to acknowledge in his mind that he wants her enough to be ok with letting her back in, knowing she's her own person and there's a chance she has to go do her thing someday and he might just have to let her, and that would be ok.

Romance aside, he has to go through that the whole game. Letting the Mantis crew in again. Working things out with everyone, hearing them out, seeing them in their element and finally being at peace with the split - knowing they all made the right decision even if it hurt.

So all the parallels worry me, because yes, he may be more self aware. He might've learned a few lessons, might be more at peace with a few decisions, but the way he just stands in shock at the funeral pyres is just worrisome because you know he's internalizing things. Right when he feels like he's making a step forward, he's taking steps back. The darkness is there now too, and he's going to struggle, because he has more to protect.

This whole experience in survivor was such a crucial point in it but at the same time we know, it's also simultaneously reinforcing his fear of further abandonment and more trust issues, and also his fears of the dark side so I'm kind of nervous to see. Where is all of this culminates to in the next game because he's learned for sure but I also feel like some other things maybe got reinforce that shouldn't have.

Right when he was learning to move on from his attachment to the Fight, he has a new thing, rebuilding Cere's legacy and keeping Tanalorr safe. It's almost like he's doubled up on all of it. Maybe he'll learn to be at peace and let things go but for now, sweet baby boy's trust issues are off the charts!!!!

Anyway maybe none of that made sense and you don't have to agree these are just thoughts after all! Take care!

[pinkbumblebees]

What's your all-time favorite Bob's Burgers episode? Like this is YOUR episode? (You can list multiple if you want!)

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS QUESTION OMG OMG

OKAY SO

ONE OF THEM IS MISSION IMPOSSI-BOB ITS SO SILLY AND IT HAS A LOT OF TEDDY AND TEDDYS PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS

CRAWL SPACE, SEASON ONE WAS GOLDEN

A RIVER RUNS THROUGH BOB AND SEXY DANCE HEALING

THERES SK MUCH MORE

[raidbossmadi]

hi i just wanted to say your jurassic park din0t3 fic is the best jp fic i've found. your writing style flows so nicely and gives an amazing look into characters' headspaces, but also your ability to characterize everyone as actual proper adults with actual proper adult responses and emotional hurdles is so refreshing and good. your grasp on dialogue makes conversations believable and easy to follow, you capture both tension and lightheartedness well, and your descriptions paint really vivid imagery throughout each scene. all in all 10/10 work, i just binged the entire series so far in one day. thank you for uploading it

Hi anon!

Thank you so much for the kind words, I am so glad you enjoy my story. I've put a lot of love and thought into making the world and characters feel real and I'm glad it comes across well.

I hope you'll continue to stick around and enjoy the ride because I've got plenty of story left in me <3

[cillianslvt]

guys i donated blood again today and i almost passed out THREE times. like damn 😭✋.

[cillianslvt]

i want them inside of me

Sensitive topic: Cillian's hands 🫣🤭

[skynapple]

When its so warm in SoCal you don't need a jacket at night pls dldjdjshgs send me some wintery vibes

[mbirnsings-71]

Hello... I've fallen into the void send help-

[raidbossmadi]

I swear I have thoughts that aren't just HEEE HOOOOO IAN MALCOLM but yeah I don't know what those other thoughts are either

[p00sy-d3stro7er]

I actually thought that my previous text post would be the last one but I found these in the depths of my gallery so. Enjoy your meal *throws them like chicken feed*

[sturnsmadl]

guys i’m gonna go insane omg i love her😧

to the 🎲 anon i swear post them i thought people would hate mine but now i have 2 whole master lists for them :)

this is random but i just want to say i love your vibe so much. you’re literally so sweet i want to give you a hug hug because of it :(

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

“if you go, i’ll stay, you come back, i’ll be right here” but it’s clarke griffin giving her life so that bellamy blake and all her friends could make it to space, surviving through sheer will, and calling him on a radio every single day for six years until he could return to her and the home she built for them all.

[runawayballista]

made a little cassette beasts zine for bad art night last night! i missed making zines i gotta do more of these. anyway play cassette beasts

[tanalorrs-heartthrob]

AMAZING ADDITION.

Survivors do adapt I cryyyy.

I really agree, Kata in a strange way is a common denominator and I think they're all in the future able to help keep each other grounded, and help stay off the darkness within. I think it'll be really interesting to see those relationships develop.

YOU'RE SO RIGHT. In a weird way, Cal's selflessness is his downfall, as EQUAL as his selfishness with those he cares about. He's got to find balance!!

I really hope the next game is about finding peace and balance.

I have thoughts about Cal's trust issues and I'm going to make it everyone's problem

(with special thanks to @cal-with-a-kesett-tape and @weadapt's problem cause they started this blubbering mess)

It hit me like a brick earlier.

Cal knew the Mantis crew loved him.

Love wasn't enough to make them stay.

Cal has never had the chance to really sit down and think about what attachments really were and how they feel. Hear me out.

This started about Cal's trust issues. I started thinking yeah, the way his Mantis crew family left all of a sudden really shook them and he kind of replaced them subconsciously with a new crew, a new family. A couple of quick notes:

- Lost his master

- Loses all his friends on Bracca (it's implied in Jedi Survivor post-game dialogue that he had other friends besides Prauf that he left behind)

- Prauf

- Crew he grew to love left him jarring his whole world

- Lost his "new" crew suddenly and all he has left of that memory is Bode so he kind of clings to Bode unknowingly

- Bode betrayal shatters him

- Clings to the idea that he and Dagan could work together - for a split second you can see in his eyes he sees it all. He and Dagan, hair flowing in the wind, swinging lightsabers, fighting the empire together, rebuilding the order together, it's romantic really. That lasts all of 2 seconds and he's so confused.

- He loses Cordova, a man he had a pseudo-connection through BD-1 with for so long

- Loses Cere, his second master

- Has to literally kill Bode and live with that

That said, I started thinking yeah he probably doesn't really realize that how deep that all goes within him or how much it actually comes down to his lack of really knowing what attachments are. This is going to cause so many trust issues and him closing himself off because he can't handle the reality of losing more people, especially after Bode shattered his inner-most circle. How's he going to let people in again?

Then it hit me like a brick.

There's a big reason why he sees so much of himself in Dagan. Dagan's attachments turned sour - it went the Vader route of being possessive. His obsession with Sentari's project and Tanalorr was a product of not being able to let his attachments go. That's pretty clear in the game, and mirrored in how Cal has allowed "The Fight" to become his attachment.

Jaro's last words are, "Hold the line" right? We know how he now has this deep engrained need to be needed. He has to fight for something. Yes, it's all he knows, but it's deeper than that, it's the last thread he has to his master. What would happen if he let that go? Cal hasn't really sat and thought about that yet.

Not only that, Cal has internalized his loyalty to this cause as like. A familial thread. The fight was his thing and the Mantis crew became his family, filling a void. The fight is their thing. And for the first time in his life Cal feels safe again. He's finally got some solidly dedicated efforts and people he can depend on. So in them leaving the Fight behind (for good reasons!!) Cal can't reconcile that leaving that isn't leaving him too, (or as @cal-with-a-kesett-tape puts it, abandoning him) it's like denouncing loyalty to him too. He just can't separate that connection and his own attachment. Maybe that's reaching and obviously there's more to it, but I dunno guys, I dunno!!

YOU CAN LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE CAN AND WILL LEAVE OF THEIR OWN VOLITION!!

AND HE CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW THAT LOVE GETS POURED OUT IN HIS LIFE. CAL'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS LITERALLY LOYALTY AND QUALITY TIME AND THE FIGHT.

Again, there's a part of Cal that just never got to stand beside his master like the Padawans of the Republic Era got to and ask all their questions or be scolded like the way Ahsoka did about being too attached to her Master. She had to dig deep and understand what that meant, how to acknowledge it, and how to let it go. Cal has Cere but maybe she just assumed? Who knows. Cal obviously struggled with it more than anyone realized. No discredit to Cere, I just don't think it ever really crossed her mind. Or, you know, Cal's stupid stubborn especially with Cere. Maybe he just ignored her in classic Cal fashion.

All that stemmed from this:

The romance aspect.

He knows taking a romantic step forward is a risk in general. And yes there's all that subconscious hesitation because he's a Jedi. But there's a bigger problem at play with Merrin.

I have to wonder if he did in fact know how she felt about him before she left. And if he did, it's just so much worse.

To him, all this buildup of love and trust. Down the refresher the day she left. So I wonder, maybe a lot of his hesitation isn't about him accepting his feelings. Maybe he gets it. He just struggles with letting someone in again who, in his mind, so easily let him go. He now has to come to terms that he wants to ask her to stay. He has to acknowledge in his mind that he wants her enough to be ok with letting her back in, knowing she's her own person and there's a chance she has to go do her thing someday and he might just have to let her, and that would be ok.

Romance aside, he has to go through that the whole game. Letting the Mantis crew in again. Working things out with everyone, hearing them out, seeing them in their element and finally being at peace with the split - knowing they all made the right decision even if it hurt.

So all the parallels worry me, because yes, he may be more self aware. He might've learned a few lessons, might be more at peace with a few decisions, but the way he just stands in shock at the funeral pyres is just worrisome because you know he's internalizing things. Right when he feels like he's making a step forward, he's taking steps back. The darkness is there now too, and he's going to struggle, because he has more to protect.

This whole experience in survivor was such a crucial point in it but at the same time we know, it's also simultaneously reinforcing his fear of further abandonment and more trust issues, and also his fears of the dark side so I'm kind of nervous to see. Where is all of this culminates to in the next game because he's learned for sure but I also feel like some other things maybe got reinforce that shouldn't have.

Right when he was learning to move on from his attachment to the Fight, he has a new thing, rebuilding Cere's legacy and keeping Tanalorr safe. It's almost like he's doubled up on all of it. Maybe he'll learn to be at peace and let things go but for now, sweet baby boy's trust issues are off the charts!!!!

Anyway maybe none of that made sense and you don't have to agree these are just thoughts after all! Take care!

[moncherriis]

Ur fav drink???

ugh def pepsi zero or dr pepper, so basic but they’re the lomls