#madi talks

[sturnsmadl]

matt with a yapper s/o headcannons!

matt who always admires u as u speak.

matt who nods and hums to make sure u know ur heard.

matt who gets all the drama from just listening to u speak.

“and she said that to u?”

“yes! i was so sad.”

“i would’ve beat her ass for u.”

matt who gets nervous when u go quiet.

“babe? u awake?”

matt who ‘needs’ u to explain everything to him as an excuse to hear u talk.

“how do i preheat the oven?”

matt who smiles as he sees u happy as u talk.

matt who comes straight home to ask u about ur day.

“how was today baby?”

“god i have so much to say.”

“go on.”

matt who asks for ur opinion on everything so he can hear u speak passionately about something.

“hey babe? what’s ur opinion on pineapple on pizza?”

matt who facetimes u as much as possible when he’s on tour.

matt who randomly kisses u while ur talking.

matt who reassures u when u stop talking.

“keep going. i’m listening”

matt who when u speak immediately puts his phone down to listen.

matt who snapped at u once and immediately felt bad when u went quiet.

“oh..”

“oh baby i’m so sorry..keep talking please i didn’t mean it babe i promise i love u talking okay?”

matt who thinks ur the sweetest girl ever.

“i ended up just apologising because yk i-“

“babe come on. u didn’t do anything wrong don’t let them tell u that u did okay?”

matt who when fucking u makes sure ur aware of the effect he has. .

“got nothing to say now huh? come on baby u know i love hearing ur voice”

“i-i can’t-“

“yes u can. use ur words.”

i’ve never hated something i’ve wrote sm

tags!

@sassysturniolo2008 @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersslut @ellizzyy @strmbolisworld

[skynapple]

I wonder what Xavier's first human funeral was like.

He came from a world where funerals were scarce, an all but immortal race. What was it like coming to a world where people's total lifespan was shorter than the span of a few years of his adolescence?

What was it like the first time he started to really get along with someone before the first time he noticed laugh lines growing in the eyes of someone he started to care about?

I wonder how soon it was before he started to get detached? How soon before he stopped attending those team building events people say he never attends? How long before he stopped going to those group lunches? How long before he decided he was tired of losing people?

We know he knows a lot of people, elderly especially, we know he does seek connection now and then (the bookstore he works at, the fishing trip buddies, the elderly around town he gets along with, that one friend's kid he babysat over the weekend in anecdote 1 who was apparently the child of someone else he watched grow up). And we know he's attended his own "funerals" as well as he lays his former identities to rest ("Christian's funeral" in anecdote 2).

I wonder if at some point that's why he sleeps so much. It also just makes it more beautiful when the more you get to know him, the less sleepy he's becoming. In the most recent cards he's waking up before our MC, he's more active, he's sleeping less during the day. It's like his whole being is waking up. He's starting to see the beauty in living and in the mundane.

I wonder if he thinks about that first funeral differently now.

[tanalorrs-heartthrob]

I have thoughts about Cal's trust issues and I'm going to make it everyone's problem

(with special thanks to @cal-with-a-kesett-tape and @weadapt's problem cause they started this blubbering mess)

It hit me like a brick earlier.

Cal knew the Mantis crew loved him.

Love wasn't enough to make them stay.

Cal has never had the chance to really sit down and think about what attachments really were and how they feel. Hear me out.

This started about Cal's trust issues. I started thinking yeah, the way his Mantis crew family left all of a sudden really shook them and he kind of replaced them subconsciously with a new crew, a new family. A couple of quick notes:

- Lost his master

- Loses all his friends on Bracca (it's implied in Jedi Survivor post-game dialogue that he had other friends besides Prauf that he left behind)

- Prauf

- Crew he grew to love left him jarring his whole world

- Lost his "new" crew suddenly and all he has left of that memory is Bode so he kind of clings to Bode unknowingly

- Bode betrayal shatters him

- Clings to the idea that he and Dagan could work together - for a split second you can see in his eyes he sees it all. He and Dagan, hair flowing in the wind, swinging lightsabers, fighting the empire together, rebuilding the order together, it's romantic really. That lasts all of 2 seconds and he's so confused.

- He loses Cordova, a man he had a pseudo-connection through BD-1 with for so long

- Loses Cere, his second master

- Has to literally kill Bode and live with that

That said, I started thinking yeah he probably doesn't really realize that how deep that all goes within him or how much it actually comes down to his lack of really knowing what attachments are. This is going to cause so many trust issues and him closing himself off because he can't handle the reality of losing more people, especially after Bode shattered his inner-most circle. How's he going to let people in again?

Then it hit me like a brick.

There's a big reason why he sees so much of himself in Dagan. Dagan's attachments turned sour - it went the Vader route of being possessive. His obsession with Sentari's project and Tanalorr was a product of not being able to let his attachments go. That's pretty clear in the game, and mirrored in how Cal has allowed "The Fight" to become his attachment.

Jaro's last words are, "Hold the line" right? We know how he now has this deep engrained need to be needed. He has to fight for something. Yes, it's all he knows, but it's deeper than that, it's the last thread he has to his master. What would happen if he let that go? Cal hasn't really sat and thought about that yet.

Not only that, Cal has internalized his loyalty to this cause as like. A familial thread. The fight was his thing and the Mantis crew became his family, filling a void. The fight is their thing. And for the first time in his life Cal feels safe again. He's finally got some solidly dedicated efforts and people he can depend on. So in them leaving the Fight behind (for good reasons!!) Cal can't reconcile that leaving that isn't leaving him too, (or as @cal-with-a-kesett-tape puts it, abandoning him) it's like denouncing loyalty to him too. He just can't separate that connection and his own attachment. Maybe that's reaching and obviously there's more to it, but I dunno guys, I dunno!!

YOU CAN LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE CAN AND WILL LEAVE OF THEIR OWN VOLITION!!

AND HE CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW THAT LOVE GETS POURED OUT IN HIS LIFE. CAL'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS LITERALLY LOYALTY AND QUALITY TIME AND THE FIGHT.

Again, there's a part of Cal that just never got to stand beside his master like the Padawans of the Republic Era got to and ask all their questions or be scolded like the way Ahsoka did about being too attached to her Master. She had to dig deep and understand what that meant, how to acknowledge it, and how to let it go. Cal has Cere but maybe she just assumed? Who knows. Cal obviously struggled with it more than anyone realized. No discredit to Cere, I just don't think it ever really crossed her mind. Or, you know, Cal's stupid stubborn especially with Cere. Maybe he just ignored her in classic Cal fashion.

All that stemmed from this:

The romance aspect.

He knows taking a romantic step forward is a risk in general. And yes there's all that subconscious hesitation because he's a Jedi. But there's a bigger problem at play with Merrin.

I have to wonder if he did in fact know how she felt about him before she left. And if he did, it's just so much worse.

To him, all this buildup of love and trust. Down the refresher the day she left. So I wonder, maybe a lot of his hesitation isn't about him accepting his feelings. Maybe he gets it. He just struggles with letting someone in again who, in his mind, so easily let him go. He now has to come to terms that he wants to ask her to stay. He has to acknowledge in his mind that he wants her enough to be ok with letting her back in, knowing she's her own person and there's a chance she has to go do her thing someday and he might just have to let her, and that would be ok.

Romance aside, he has to go through that the whole game. Letting the Mantis crew in again. Working things out with everyone, hearing them out, seeing them in their element and finally being at peace with the split - knowing they all made the right decision even if it hurt.

So all the parallels worry me, because yes, he may be more self aware. He might've learned a few lessons, might be more at peace with a few decisions, but the way he just stands in shock at the funeral pyres is just worrisome because you know he's internalizing things. Right when he feels like he's making a step forward, he's taking steps back. The darkness is there now too, and he's going to struggle, because he has more to protect.

This whole experience in survivor was such a crucial point in it but at the same time we know, it's also simultaneously reinforcing his fear of further abandonment and more trust issues, and also his fears of the dark side so I'm kind of nervous to see. Where is all of this culminates to in the next game because he's learned for sure but I also feel like some other things maybe got reinforce that shouldn't have.

Right when he was learning to move on from his attachment to the Fight, he has a new thing, rebuilding Cere's legacy and keeping Tanalorr safe. It's almost like he's doubled up on all of it. Maybe he'll learn to be at peace and let things go but for now, sweet baby boy's trust issues are off the charts!!!!

Anyway maybe none of that made sense and you don't have to agree these are just thoughts after all! Take care!

[pinkbumblebees]

What's your all-time favorite Bob's Burgers episode? Like this is YOUR episode? (You can list multiple if you want!)

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS QUESTION OMG OMG

OKAY SO

ONE OF THEM IS MISSION IMPOSSI-BOB ITS SO SILLY AND IT HAS A LOT OF TEDDY AND TEDDYS PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS

CRAWL SPACE, SEASON ONE WAS GOLDEN

A RIVER RUNS THROUGH BOB AND SEXY DANCE HEALING

THERES SK MUCH MORE

[cillianslvt]

guys i donated blood again today and i almost passed out THREE times. like damn 😭✋.

[raidbossmadi]

I swear I have thoughts that aren't just HEEE HOOOOO IAN MALCOLM but yeah I don't know what those other thoughts are either

[skynapple]

just to add on, this can also do with stuff you do also. I can accept that in moments that where I lashed out and said things -and did things- that they were a product of my environment, from not feeling heard, etc. I can also accept that some of those were not ok and I am capable of doing better.

I think another good thing I came to realize was that, in therapy, "acceptance" doesn't mean that something is okay or good. To accept a situation or emotion means to understand that any amount of wishing it didnt happen, pretending it isn't happening, or regressing into maladaptive coping mechanisms will not effectively deal with what's going on. To accept is to acknowledge, to understand what is happening or what you're feeling and cope appropriately and healthily without self-judgement.

[skynapple]

It was an honor booping you

[skynapple]

The worst thing that happened to me was making idle chatter with a brand new acquaintance as a freshman in college and she, 3 minutes into our conversation goes,

Her. "Hey quick question, you're on Tumblr right?"

Me: "W...hat?"

Her: "You just talk like someone who's on Tumblr."

[raidbossmadi]

i just barely finished getting caught up with the edge of chaos so far. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I'M SO INVESTED!! i am on the edge of my seat and i absolutely can't wait to see what's next. i love them all so much. also tysm for the trans alan grant content!! i hope to see it mentioned again soon. the headcanon means a lot to me ❤️ i would suggest tagging it cuz it's difficult finding content with my headcanons sometimes. it was such a good surprise though, i'm genuinely so happy. i relate to him so much. i'm actually not really sure if there's any other fics out there with transmasc alan grant... i also adore the way you've written ian's struggles with his disabilities, it feels very realistic. i am hooked and i'm so excited for the next update!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work and write this message :)

I'm so glad that my writing resonates with you, and you're right there is a shocking lack of Trans Alan Grant content out there, So I will definitely go back and add those tags. (I should have in the first place but It slipped my mind).

The most important thing to me when I set out to write the Chaosverse was to make sure that everyone felt like real people and I am always very happy to hear that I've succeeded with that mission :) I hope you continue to enjoy what I have planned and if you'd ever like to chat My dm's are open. @zzcrypticcoyotezz

[sturnsmadl]

sub!Chris headcannons

sub!Chris who gets hard from just kissing u.

sub!Chris who is basically in tears when u edge him once.

sub!Chris who drags out his orgasm so u can be in control longer.

sub!Chris who will go for as many as he can before he says his safe word on the edge of passing out.

sub!Chris who loves praise and gets horny from being told he’s good.

sub!Chris who loves being degraded and feeling small compared to u.

sub!Chris who gives up and flips u over slamming into u to finally finish.

“u think ur so funny trying to stop me from cumming?”

“n-no i’m sorry! chris slow down!”

“or what? i’m in control now.”

[skynapple]

Idk fellas what do we think?

[raidbossmadi]

I love that I simped so hard for Ian Malcolm like a week ago that one of my new followers was concerned. Like yes hello this is THE Ian Malcolm Simp tumblr.

[sturnsmadl]

drunk!matt and his drunk!gf headcannons!

drunk!matt who swears he'll be sober enough to drive.

"i can drive!"

"matt just get an uber."

drunk!matt who always has soft sex with u when hes drunk.

"fuck..u feel so good wrapped around me baby."

drunk!matt who is the responsible drunk between u both.

"ill sleep here."

"no u wont. thats the floor. come on get up."

drunk!matt who is grumpy when he wakes up hungover.

"fucking headaches.."

drunk!matt who is irritated at any lights or loud noises.

"ow! lights off...god..."

drunk!matt who starts remembering everything.

"remember when u jumped into that bush?"

"years ago..yeah."

"oh."

drunk!matt who is obsessed with drunk head.

"fuck yes...always feel so good taking all of me baby."

drunk!matt who finds everything funny.

*laughing* "remember when u broke ur wrist?"

"dude."

drunk!matt who is obssessed with u.

"fuck..ur tits are my favourite thing ever"

"when ur drunk."

"all the time. theyre perfect."

drunk!matt who has u on top of him while u both fall asleep.

drunk!matt who laughs when he finds u passed out on the stairs when he wakes up.

drunk!matt who holds ur hair back while u throw up.

"yep..just get it all out baby.."

hi yall! i know these are not in order whatsoever but u get the vibe i hope :)

tags! @bellaonthelow @sturnclouds @ellizzyy @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @christophersgf @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash

[skynapple]

I'M GOING TO CRY I MISS FAN MAIL

you guys don't get it!!!!! This was how we communicated!!!!!

Before chats and replies were a thing, we sent blog notes!

I held on to so many sweet notes, theories shared with each other, "hey hope you're doing well it's been a couple months", all sorts of things, and I haven't been able to see them because fan mail is no longer a feature

I can see them there, because my inbox says I have messages but I go to check and the asks are "empty" and I know it's old fan mail, invisible, buried somewhere behind walls of code and blocked away by the lack of functionality, but I know it's there. The heart is there.

If @staff ever lets you read old fan mail again I will actually sob.

We’ll be rolling out Fan Mail — a new interblog messaging service — over the next few days for everyone.

You can send unlimited Fan Mail to the blogs you follow and customize each message.

You’ll see the new option appear in your Inbox, avatar menus, or in the top corner of the blogs you follow.

Have fun!

[skynapple]

My Dad immediately after watching Dune Part 2: I never thought they could make Timothée Chalamet masculine but here I stand corrected