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cherriegyuu · 11 months ago

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lens of ice | yjh | one

pairing: jeonghan x f!reader genre: figure skater jeonghan, light angst, a little fluff, smut in the next part word count: 12k summary: jeonghan has only one chance left to make it to the olympics. as he embarks on this decisive journey, you, a documentarist, are set to follow him as he seeks the ultimate glory. warnings: jeonghan is kind of reckless with his body a/n: i've been writing this one for so long now and though it's not finished yet, i decided to post half of it, as a way to motivate myself to finish it. i really wanna thank @ressonancee first for giving me idea and second for helping me through all of this and putting up my crazy ass mind 💓

part one | part two (final)

The light buzzing of the fluorescent lights made him uncomfortable, it was like a premonition of what was to come. Something bad, he was sure.

Jeonghan was many things in his life, stubborn perhaps being the most obvious one, but dumb wasn't one then. He knew that his ankle was fucked up, that he was probably the cause of it. Too many hours of training, never giving himself enough time to heal before he got the ice again. He didn't know exactly how bad it was, that was for the doctor in front of him to say, but Jeonghan knew that nothing good would come out of the man's mouth.

"It's worse than I thought," the man said with a sigh, taking off his glasses "It's not just your ankle anymore, it's also your knee. And, I could be wrong, but considering the way you're walking, I'd say that you're right ankle also started to bother you"

Jeonghan hung his head. He was an athlete and he knew that he was being reckless, beyond actually. He should have gone to his coach the second he felt a sharp pain in his ankle. But he just went home, took an ice bath, and kept the whole thing to himself. Even on the following days, when the pain didn't go away at all, he still chose to keep his mouth shut and go to practice every day. And his coach, unaware of his condition, kept pushing him during practice.

Not that he needed anyone to be harsh on him, Jeonghan did all of that on his own. But having someone else do that for him as well brought out a different desire for perfection. One that came from a dark place to show someone else that he was good, to prove people wrong.

"Can I still compete?" was all he asked, it was the only thing that mattered to him "Can I make it to the Olympics? It's the last one for me, after this I retire"

The look on the doctor's face wasn't reassuring, Jeonghan knew that his next words wouldn't be the ones he wanted. He wasn't about to hear what he needed.

"If, and only if, you have surgery, take physical therapy seriously, and rest as we instruct you, there might be a possibility. Small, but it exists"

"When can I have the surgery?"

You stared at your computer screen, a hand on your forehead as you read the email your boss sent you. You sat at your desk, not really knowing what to do.

"Seungkwan!" you called without looking up "Did you get this email too?"

Just to make sure that you weren't crazy, you read it once again. The third time in less than five minutes. No matter how many times you read it, it didn't change.

"Yeah. I'm excited but scared…"

That was enough to get your attention.

"Why?"

Closing your laptop, you stood up moving closer to Seungkwan. Unlike you, who read the email many times, Seungkwan had already started his research. Not that he really needed to, everyone at the office knew that he was a huge fan of figure skating. So of course he would know all about Yoon Jeonghan.

The nation's pride and joy in figure skating, at least in the make category.

"Why scared? I thought everyone loved him"

It was impossible to look away from the picture Seungkwan had open on his computer. Jeonghan's face really was something else, as if he had been carved in marble by some ancient Greek artist. From his dark hair covering his eyes, giving him almost a mysterious vibe, to the way his lips were slightly crooked into a smile. You had to give it to him, the man was absolutely stunning. No wonder he left a trail of fans everywhere he went.

"He isn't the biggest enthusiast when it comes to the press. He barely gives interviews so I guess doing a documentary about him won't be easy"

Seungkwan kept scrolling, reading the latest news on Jeonghan. But the truth was that there wasn't any. His social media was also rarely updated, the last post was from months before.

"Well, good luck to you"

"What do you mean? You're the one in charge"

You just shook your head. The problem was Jeonghan honestly, you barely knew anything about him, though Seungkwan's words didn't help the case. The thing was that you barely knew anything at all about sports, in general, much less about figure skating. Lack of knowledge was an easy fix. The real issue was the fact that a documentary on a sport was way too different from what you usually did.

"I'm not doing this one. I have other projects I want to work on. Plus, this is too sudden. They want us to start tomorrow, Seungkwan. Do you really think that it's possible to have anything done by tomorrow?" he shook his head and you nodded in agreement "Precisely, so I'm sure that if we talk with Jihoon…"

"Nothing will change"

A curse left your lips at the sudden voice behind you. Turning around you faced the small man. Jihoon had his arms crossed over his chest and the look in his eyes that told you that no matter what he wouldn't let you off the hook. Still, you had to try.

"Jihoon, I'm not your sports person. And it's too soon. I don't anything about Jeonghan or figure skating"

Jihoon simply shook his head at you.

"They want a different approach than the average sports documentary, so I recommended you. I'm sending Seungkwan with you because I know this isn't your area of expertise, though I highly suggest you do some sort of research" he turned around to leave with a wave of his hand then turned around for a second, as if remembering something "Hansol will be your camera and sound guy. They asked for a small crew"

With a salute Jihoon left.

"Fuck"

You couldn't take your eyes away from the crutches under Jeonghan's arms and the orthopedic boot around his left leg. There was not a single article that pointed to surgery. There were plenty about his constant injuries though. Seungkwan had the same look on his face, of pure shock.

"Are you okay?" you asked once he made himself comfortable on the couch.

Jeonghan sat sideways on the couch, his leg propped up over cushions. The position looked weird but he didn't seem to mind.

"Ah, this" he pointed at his leg nonchalantly, as if it was the most normal thing "Yeah, it's okay. Had to get the surgery done in order to make it to the next Olympic"

Nodding, you looked around. His apartment wasn't as big as you had expected. In fact, the three of you stood closely together in the living room, a bit too small for all the gear Hansol said he needed.

"Put your things down, let's talk. I don't know how this is going to work"

Me neither, you wanted to say but kept your mouth shut. Thankfully, Seungkwan was there to help you.

"Before we start any real interview or conversation, I think we have to tell you that this was very last minute for us. We only heard about this documentary yesterday, in the middle of the afternoon" he used his kindest voice, his voice laced with concern and a hit of fear, maybe "yn is in charge, she's the documentarist, she'll be asking the questions and dictating the overall direction that we're going to take with the documentary. I'm Seungkwan and that's Hansol. This is the smallest crew he could assemble"

Seungkwan was giving too many explanations, you felt. But he also wasn't wrong. What he did was normal, he was just introducing the crew. Maybe you were a little irritated by the way you were tossed into this job, without someone giving you enough time to prepare. Sixteen hours were barely enough.

"I assume my… reputation has gotten to you," Jeonghan said, a small smile on his lips.

A reputation he had indeed. Jeonghan was known for not liking the press and journalists. He avoided them at all costs and once, on one occasion, was seen being rude. And honestly, you had to give him a pass for it. Pushing the camera away from his face, almost delicately, could barely be considered rude at such a moment. There were way too many cameras around, all of them on his face, trying to get some sort of pronouncement on why he had not made it to the podium.

And that had been years before but people still remembered him by that one moment. But what exactly did they expect? He underperformed, came in fourth place, and injured himself in the process. Was anyone expecting a happy and bright Jeonghan?

"You can be comfortable around me. A conversation like this is fine. I just don't like being swarmed"

Though his words were inviting, his face told a whole different story. He clearly didn't want this documentary.

"All of our interactions will be recorded," you told him, not leaving room for arguments on his end "These first few minutes aren't, out of courtesy and so that we can set our goals. I need to know if you're uncomfortable with anything, or something that you don't want to be filmed, either right now or before we turn the cameras on. Once we start, we won't stop"

Jeonghan adjusted his position on the couch, his eyes never leaving you. It was like he was measuring your every move. He didn't like your tone, and how aggressive you were towards him.

"I know this was last minute and I apologize for that. This is going to be my last run and, as much as I hate to admit, I'm a bit sensitive to it.

With furrowed eyebrows, you nodded. Jeonghan knew that you didn't believe him or that you cared about his reasons. He knew that the sole reason you were there was because someone made you.

"Will you need to film my family?"

"Yes, usually film family members to get a complete idea of someone's life"

Turning around you nodded at Hansol, telling him to start setting up. With a shake of his head, Seungkwan moved to help him.

"I don't want my family to know the extent of my injuries. So if you only want them for context, to know about me as a child, that's fine. But they can't know anything about this" Jeonghan pointed at his leg "I've been hiding this for a very long time and I'd like to keep it that way"

You dropped your bag on the couch, eyes tired and mind filled with one too many thoughts. The day had been easier than you expected, far more so.

Based on Seungkwan's words you had expected to fight with Jeonghan in a way. It was a documentary so you needed him to talk and talk he did. There was no question unanswered or dodged, all of his answers were precise and consistent. All of it had sounded fake like he had rehearsed them a million times.

Even if you thought that your question had been good, and had caught him off guard, Jeonghan seemed to be fully prepared for it. He didn't hesitate for a second.

In the few hours you spent around him, you finally managed to understand the fascination most people had with him. He was handsome, yes, but that was just the very basic and surface level of him. Beyonce that he was also good with his words. It was hard to tell that he was lying because he talked with conviction. After just one interview you were sure that if one day Jeonghan decided to tell you that your mom wasn’t actually your mother, you’d somehow believe him.

And the man knew all of it. He was aware of his beauty and charm, of what it did to normal people, and he used it in his favor. Jeonghan knew that most people couldn’t resist a handsome talented man. And that was a part he was all too willing to fill.

“Yeah,” you answered your phone, not bothering to see who it was, certain that it was just Jihoon.

“How was it today?” he sounded just as tired as you felt and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was okay.

“Fine”

“Just fine?”

You turned on your back, facing the ceiling, or at least whatever you could see with the lights turned off - not a whole lot, to be honest.

“He lied through his teeth today. There was no manager, and no coach around, though I do remember him saying someone would come. The person never showed up” you sighed “Seungkwan hates and Vernon probably thinks I’m a crazy bitch. So yeah, just fine”

Jihoon laughed on the other side of the line and you felt the little butterflies in your stomach come to life. You rolled your eyes at yourself. How pathetic it was of you, to have a crush on your boss. How very much bland of you.

Growing up, like a lot of girls that were influenced by way too much TV, you had wanted the be the odd one out. The I’m one of the guys kind of girl, or the one who refused to wear any kind of makeup or even come close to the pink because that was just girly for you. And now there you were, in love with the color pink, finding excuses to wear pretty dresses, and having a crush on your boss.

Teenage you would throw eggs at your head if she had the chance.

“Okay, but how was Jeonghan?” Jihoon pressed even further.

You sighed and closed your eyes, covering over face with your hand.

“He was polite, answered all of my questions, had a pleasant smile the entire time, and only asked for a bathroom break while we were there. Offered us food and drinks. He was fine” you said again, emphasizing the fine.

You could picture Jihoon, nodding his head and looking at the floor, probably thinking of what to ask next.

“Why would Seungkwan hate you? And why would Vernon think you’re a bitch?”

“Seungkwan thinks I went too hard on Jeonghan and Vernon just trusts Seungkwan’s judgment and goes with it”

Jihoon laughed again and you heard him moving around.

“Classic yn, going at someone while she’s angry. At least your anger was sort of directed to the right person”

“What is that supposed to mean?” you sat up.

You liked to think that you didn’t act that way all the time. In your mind, most of the time, you were able to hide your anger and just play nice like your mother had taught you to be. Jihoon’s words told a completely different story.

“Have some rest, there’s still a lot of work to do. Tomorrow you’re going with him to rehab, right?” Jihoon paused for a second and you heard a female voice in the back, you couldn’t make out what she said but you were sure of who it belonged to “I have to go. We’ll talk next week”

The line was disconnected and leaned back on the couch again. The problem of having a crush on your boss was also the fact that he had a long-time girlfriend and soon he was supposed to be marrying her.

You groaned, wondering if you had gone far enough that there was no going back from this crush.

You sat across from Jeonghan once again, the position exactly the same as the first day. But this time you chose to be less irritable.

The other day you were frustrated because you had to give up other projects to be able to accompany Jeonghan and that, thinking rationally, had nothing to do with him. He asked for a specific documentary filmmaker profile and you were chosen by the studio. Maybe it was more your fault than his. But it was also a no-return kind of situation. The job was assigned to you and there was nothing you could do to change it. So the least you could do was do your best and pray that it didn’t take a turn for the worse.

And, if anything, the conversation with Jihoon helped you focus on work. It wouldn't be the first time you were doing something you didn't want to do and it certainly wouldn't be the last. So you decided that the best thing to do was just work, showing your professional side that had been left aside before.

Jeonghan looked at you the same way, eyes serious as if he was ready for a new attack.

"Thank you," he said to Vernon, who had just placed the microphone inside his jacket, so that he could pick up the sound well, but it was not visible to the camera.

You turned to Seungkwan and Vernon, waiting for confirmation from the two that you could begin. You received a wave from each of them after they checked that the cameras were on and recording.

You took a deep breath and turned to Jeonghan.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," you said "I wasn't fair to you. I was irritated by things that had nothing to do with you, but I somehow decided that they did"

Everyone in Jeonghan's living room seemed to hold their breath, you included. You didn't know what to expect from Jeonghan, not really. You had been anything but ungracious with him, in a way that to most people meant that any door between you two had closed.

Jeonghan decided, at that moment, that he had two options: a) he could let the previous day dictate how all interactions between the two of you from then on would be, and it would be many months of a bad relationship that would bring no benefit to anyone involved in it; or b) he could accept your apology, which seemed sincere enough, and let go of the discomfort he felt.

Option b was actually the only possible choice.

“Okay” he finally smiled “my reputation isn’t the best, either way”

Seungkwan and Vernon breathed a sigh of relief. It was as if a huge gray cloud had moved away and the weather was beginning to clear.

“No, your reputation had no influence. I was the one who lost my hand because of my problems and for that, I apologize” you said and you were sincere in your words “But Jeonghan, I need you to stop seeing me as your enemy. I need you to be honest with me.”

You hoped Jeonghan could understand what you were saying.

“You think I wasn’t honest?” he tilted his head as if analyzing you.

“In the same way that you don't want your reputation to affect the way I see you, I need you to not let the way you see other journalists affect the way you see me. I want to tell your story, however you want it told, but I need you to be honest with me.”

You hoped Jeonghan could understand what you were saying.

He was silent for a minute, his eyes fixed on his hands. His hair covered his face, so it was hard to get an idea of what was going through his head.

You looked at Seungkwan, seeking confirmation that you hadn’t been rude. He seemed to be as lost as you were, but the small smile he gave you was enough to make your restless heart rest for a second.

“What if I say something and regret it later?”

It was the first time Jeonghan looked insecure and it was a strange sight, but much more realistic than the other version of him.

“We can edit it, it’s not a problem. I said that because I was angry” you said apologetically once again.

“Can we throw it all away and start again?”

Jeonghan smiled and you had no choice but to smile along with him.

“Let’s start with what’s happening now,” you said, folding your legs under your body, notebook open to a blank page and a pen ready to take notes “You underwent surgery not long ago, right? Why?"

Jeonghan took a deep breath, eyes closed for a second before placing all his attention on you. His gaze was almost too intense. You had to force yourself not to look anywhere but at him.

“A few years ago I fell during training and twisted my ankle. At the time, it wasn't a big deal and if I had stayed quiet for a few weeks, and did everything right, I wouldn't have had any problems. But I couldn't do it, I was preparing for a competition. I didn't tell anyone about the problem and just endured the pain. When I participated in the competition I fell again and that only made the situation worse. Today I have a problem with my ligament and tendon.”

With every word that left his mouth, you felt like a lump was forming in your throat, and with every second it was getting bigger.

Unlike the day before, it didn't seem like Jeonghan was lying, but you didn't know if you wanted the truth he was sharing. Even if it was a lie, a character he had created, the version of Jeonghan from before was a little brighter, a little more present in the moment. The version of him that was in front of you, that you imagined to be the closest to reality, was almost sad, detached from everything.

“Because I forced my right knee a lot, trying to compensate for the lack of my left one, I developed a problem with that one too”

“You’ve never talked about your injuries before, right?” he nodded “Why talk now?”

He was silent again, his lower lip caught between his teeth. That was a great question, one that not even Jeonghan himself knew exactly how to answer.

“I'm not sure, to be honest” he laughed a little. Instead of looking directly at the camera, his eyes were focused on you “Someone came up with the idea at some point and it didn't seem like a bad one, but I think it will only work if I make it to the Olympics.”

“Is that the ultimate goal then, to get to the Olympics?”

He shook his head, that fearless, confident look you had only seen in photos finally making itself known.

“No, the ultimate goal is to win”

As promised, Jeonghan waited for you, Seungkwan, and Vernon outside the clinic. He was nowhere to be seen, really, but the car his assistant informed you of was parked right in front of the door.

You were the first one to exit your own car, while Seungkwan and Vernon prepared the camera to follow along. You could only assume he was the manager. Terribly young for a manager, sure, but a manager nonetheless.

“I assume you’re in” he extended a hand to you “I’m Joshua”

“Hi”

The exchange of words with Joshua was quick, no more than half a dozen. You didn't have much to talk about with him and he wasn't your priority, at least not at the moment. Later, at some other time, talking to him would be great. He had introduced himself as a friend/manager of Jeonghan. Having his point of view would be great and could contribute a lot, but your eyes couldn't leave Jeonghan.

His hair was tied back, but a cap covered much of his face. He had barely said hi to you or the other two. It wasn't a big surprise. While it was true that made up to a certain extent, you didn't expect him to simply welcome you with open arms, but his reaction was strange - or as strange as the reaction of a person you knew little, or nothing, could be.

“Can we film it?” You asked.

Jeonghan stopped and turned towards you. He had forgotten that you and your team would attend his first physical therapy session, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

Since the last time you saw each other, Jeonghan spent hours on end watching documentaries made by you and they all had one thing in common: they were almost like video logs. You followed everyone around documenting every tiny aspect of their lives. All those people told their stories and didn't seem afraid of having their lives exposed. And perhaps for people who didn't lead lives where they had been exposed too much, sincerity came easily.

For Jeonghan, that was never the case.

Being treated as the future, a promise of the sport, had brought a lot of harm and situations that neither he, nor anyone else, had the option to deal with or even, perhaps, ignore.

Cameras were pointed at him, rumors spread and suddenly he wasn't just Yoon Jeonghan, the boy who started skating because it would annoy his little sister. He became someone from whom people expected something.

As much as he could, Jeonghan tried to live up to all of those expectations, realistic or not. He tried to be as perfect as possible, on the ice and off of it. And it only took one day of silence, a few rude unanswered questions, and one bad performance — which had no real effect — for everything to collapse.

“You said you would film anything and everything.”

You grimaced, clearly regretful and maybe even a little embarrassed. It wasn't his intention, but he found your reaction funny anyway.

In your place, Jeonghan would have done much worse.

“Do you think it’s important?”

You nodded, perhaps more forcefully than necessary. Jeonghan laughed, he wanted to hold your head to make sure it was still in the right place.

“The documentary is about your return, so filming you here is important. I asked because it's your first session. I heard it can be painful.”

“It will probably be uncomfortable” he couldn’t deny that “Let’s do it like this, you can record it, if in the end you think it’s bad or that it doesn’t fit, we won’t use it

You quietly followed Jeonghan and Joshua out of the clinic, Seungkwan and Vernon trailing behind you talking in hushed tones. It was no surprise that they were talking. Truth was rehab had been brutal. You knew that it could get hard for Jeonghan, that it could be painful but nothing really prepared you for what you saw. And if it was hard for you to watch him go through that, it was unimaginable to understand how it was for him.

Throughout the entire session, Jeonghan looked in pain, his grunts and the scowl on his face growing with each passing second and new movement. Midway through you told Seungkwan and Vernon to stop filming. You had seen enough and you had more than what you needed for the documentary.

You would only film his rehab again when he was no longer in such pain, you decided. Out of the many things you learned about Jeonghan was that showing his weaknesses wasn’t something he was too fond of or even comfortable with the idea of it. So there was no real reason to keep recording and you couldn’t stand it either.

While you watched his face contort in pain, you felt something inside your chest tighten.

It had never been a real issue before with you. You had always managed to separate your personal emotions from the things you felt while working. More often than not you told stories that were hard to listen to, took someone’s suffering, and put it on the TV for the entire world to see in hopes that maybe a part of their lives would be changed. You had always been able to detach yourself from that.

However while inside with Jeonghan, such a thing was not possible. You felt your throat constrict and your eyes grow wet and for a short while, you couldn’t breathe either. It made no sense really. Why did it hurt to see this man, you knew nothing about, in pain to the point you wanted to cry? Why did it sadden you so much that he was limping harder than before?

You wanted to approach him, ask if he was okay, if it had been too much. But it was out of line, it was one that you knew you shouldn’t cross. There was this itch though, in the back of your mind, begging you to just ask, to just take a step closer to him.

It happened so suddenly that you didn’t even see it happening. One second it was just the five of you in the parking lot, in the next there were reporters with mics and cameras pointed at Jeonghan. You noticed how Jeonghan raised his shoulders at the same time he lowered his head. He couldn’t see in front of himself, you were certain.

Joshua put an arm around Jeonghan’s shoulder while he used the other one to keep them away from him. Not that it was of any use. One of the cameras was directly under his face as if trying to get an expression, anything at all, that could show his discomfort with the situation. From somewhere behind you there were flashes.

"Do you believe your injury was a result of your own carelessness?" someone asked.

You felt your blood run cold for a second and you froze in place, Seungkwan and Vernon behind you.

"Do you think your skating career is over after such devastating injuries?" someone followed.

"Did you regret pushing yourself so hard during training, knowing it led to your injury?"

"How did it feel to watch other skaters progress while you were stuck in rehab?"

"Are you worried that your injury will define your career more than your achievements on the ice?"

The questions got progressively worse and you wanted to scream at them to just shut up, and stop. How could they just ambush someone like that with those questions? It made no sense at all. And though you knew that it would cause more harm than good you wished Jeonghan would tell them all to fuck off.

Instead, he kept his head low and just slowly walked to his car while ignoring everyone around him, all the careless words being thrown at him.

You tried to take a step forward but were held back by Seungkwan, who gripped the strap of your purse. He didn’t say a word, just shook his head.

“They can’t just do that to him” you almost cried

“If you say anything, it might only make matters worse,” Hansol said, his voice sad.

That sudden need to protect Jeonghan felt weird but oddly natural as well. Weird because you knew that you shouldn’t, because you hardly knew the guy. Natural because it felt as if you had always done that like it was just second nature to you.

“He is used to this,” Seungkwan said, still not letting go of your purse.

“He shouldn’t be! They are barely treating him like a human!”

By the time you turned around, Jeonghan was already inside the car leaving the parking lot.

The clock on the top of your phone screen told you that it was 4:37 am. You hadn't even realized that you had spent so many hours still awake.

As soon as you got home from the rehab with Jeonghan, you took a quick shower, ate the leftovers from the night before, and started to look up Jeonghan’s performances.

The man was a celebrity amongst athletes since he was a child. He was always seen as a promise of the sport. He was good from the start. Performing moves that he was still too young to do, entering competitions boys his age never really competed in and somehow managing to either come up to the podium or even winning some of them.

Everything was displayed online. Yearly competitions, practices, and small moments of his life.

Jeonghan's entire life, at least the sports part, was exposed on the internet for anyone, from anywhere in the world, to see. And it wasn't just the competitions, having videos of that part seemed completely normal and expected.

What was scary was all the other content. Some photos of him in school uniform, not one where he was actually looking at the camera, but ones that were clearly taken in secret. Another one from when he seemed to have simply gone out for coffee with Joshua.

You knew he had fans, that he was liked wherever he went, and that he was always followed, but that seemed a bit much.

In reality, watching videos of the competitions was like a gateway to everything that came after.

You knew very little about Jeonghan, only what you had read about in all the articles that you found and all of them had one thing in common: Jeonghan was a huge diva, who thought he was superior to everyone. But after seeing how he had been treated that day, as soon as he got out of rehab, you knew it wasn't like that. It was as if they had appeared out of nowhere, one second the parking lot was empty and the next it was full of journalists, shouting things and asking questions that to many would seem harmless, but were clearly intended to hurt.

Instead of watching more competition videos, not that there were many you hadn't watched yet, you decided to look for the famous video of him treating journalists badly.

You had never found one so easily on the internet. You just typed "Jeonghan and journalists" into the search bar and it was the first video to appear.

It was a scene very similar to the previous day. Jeonghan was in the parking lot, walking towards the guy when he was surrounded by several journalists.

"You didn't get the podium today, are you disappointed?" one of them asked and that was the most harmless question he got. “Did you really try hard or did you think you would get a high score because you were the favorite?” “Why did you fall in such a simple jump?” “Don't you think it was an amateur's performance?”

You didn't want to keep listening to all those meaningless questions, but you couldn't take your eyes off Jeonghan. He still had short hair at the time, even covering his eyebrows. His jaw was clenched, his eyes were hard, and his gaze was focused straight ahead, as he walked slowly to his car. Joshua tried as best he could to control the journalists with their microphones and cameras, but he was just one man against many. Finally, after what felt like ages, two security guards appeared, pushing the journalists away as they began shouting profanities in Jeonghan's direction.

Could those people even consider themselves journalists? Real journalists, who took their work seriously?

There is a very fine line between being a journalist who asks incisive questions and one who is completely disrespectful to the athlete. And those people were anything but professional.

It was no surprise that after that Jeonghan refused to give interviews.

That whole situation happened years before, at the beginning of the previous Olympic cycle, but even so, it was still a moment that haunted him. People remembered him as just that guy, someone who refused to answer simple questions. But what exactly did these people expect? That he was all smiles when he failed to reach the podium, even though he was the favorite in the competition? That he smiles when he hurts?

Finally, you managed to understand why he acted that way, and why his answers were so polite and direct. Jeonghan didn't want to leave room for interpretation. Not that he had much of a choice. People only see what they want to see, but that didn't mean he couldn't try.

Jeonghan couldn’t take his eyes away from your back, he followed your every move. You stood next to Joshua, talking to him quietly, his friend showing you something on his phone. He felt something scratch at his neck. This new and unknown feeling.

It was unusual for Jeonghan, to want to have someone’s undivided attention. It was usually the other way around and he was never willing to do it, with anyone. And then there you were and suddenly he didn’t like that you were talking with Joshua.

It wasn’t like you seemed to be having fun either. You moved around with intention, your eyes always focused, your words and questions firm and straight to the point. Jeonghan couldn’t help but wonder if it was always like that with you. If your professional persona always took over who you were in other moments.

His curiosity was huge but his courage to ask was very little.

“She may seem like it, but she won’t bite your head off if you talk with her,” someone said on his left.

Seungkwan stood at his side, his hands clasped in front of him while he rocked on his heels.

“I think she will,” Jeonghan said.

Seungkwan took his reply as an invitation to sit.

“You know, in the office, people call her the ice queen” he too looked in your direction, at your serious expression "She’s like that most of the time”

Jeonghan looked at Seungkwan expectantly, he knew there was a but coming soon. All he needed to do was wait long enough.

“She didn’t want to take this job, our boss forced her to. She’s more into storytelling, real people, with real issues”

“Am I not a real person?”

The offense in Jeonghan’s voice made Seungkwan almost fall off his chair. He didn’t intend for his words to sound like that.

“Of course you are” he laughed nervously while trying to explain it as best as he could “If it were up to her, she would focus this documentary on you, on how you started skating, why, what attracted you to it, how it affected the rest of your life. But your team doesn’t want that, I think. We were told that you already gave many interviews on the matter so there’s no point in talking about it again. They want us to focus on your recovery and then you make it to the Olympics. She’s trying to figure out how to do that in a way that makes someone watch it”

Jeonghan nodded, feeling guilty. It had been his request to not the documentary so focused on the past and more on what was happening in the moment

“She also doesn’t like sports and hated the idea of the job, but that's beside the point”

Both of them laughed, eyes still on your back now that you talked with Vernon, giving him new instructions.

“I’ll make sure that she gets to do the kind of documentary she thinks is best”

Seungkwan stood up, a big smile on his lips.

“Who could have known that the ice queen and the ice prince aren’t actually that cold”

After months of just rehab, it’s finally time for Jeonghan to get back on the ice and it pained you a little to admit that you were looking forward to it. The videos you watched could only take you so far, you wanted to actually see the real thing. Him, in action.

Of course, you know that he wasn’t going to be able to do a third of the things he did on those videos. But you wanted to see him in his element, how he would behave when he was finally around the thing he loved the most in the world — his words, not yours.

The one thing you were able to learn from Jeonghan was the fact that he indeed loved what he did. Like most people, sometimes he hated it. It was the thing he was most passionate about, yes, but it was also his job, so there were days when he just hated and the mere idea of leaving the house was too much.

It was too hard to be a professional athlete, it demanded way too much of him. Of anyone, really. Sometimes he wanted to be like everyone else and just not put everything he was into it. But if he did that, he lost one single day, he was scared that he could lose an entire year and maybe that year turned into two and then he could lose his chance to go to the Olympics.

And he only had one change left.

So, instead of focusing on much he didn’t want to do, Jeonghan decided to focus on the fact that there was only a year ahead of him and he would be able to do whatever he wanted and have as many down days as he wanted.

He didn’t know what he wanted to do and what would be the after for him but it gave him something to look forward to.

“Are you nervous?” you asked him.

Jeonghan was someone who was mostly quiet. You noticed that once he started to feel more comfortable he was one to start the conversation and even crack a few jokes here and there. Seungkwan had been the first person he kind of opened up to, which had left you a hint of jealousy. You wanted to be one he talked with mostly because it was your job but also just because.

However, he had been especially quiet that day. The three of you went to meet him at his apartment. The idea was that you’d follow him the entire day, from the moment he woke up, to when he went to the doctor to get the final clear and then finally to the ring.

He had talked very little, his eyes always focused somewhere else. It was clear that his mind was traveling somewhere far, far away. So you left him be, quietly watching him just move around. A silent shooting day, you told yourself In the end, however, you had a job and he needed to do the talking.

“It’s been too long,” he said, his eyes never really leaving the ice “I don’t know if I can still do it”

You laughed, causing him to finally look at you, eyes wide on his face. He tried to look serious but the corners of his lips were turned slightly up.

“You just don’t feel confident, but you didn’t forget it” you looked at his ankle, it was still weird to see him without any sort of protection around it “How’s your ankle?”

He just shook his head and in that moment you chose to believe that he was said It doesn’t bother me anymore.

Through the interviews, you found out that Jeonghan is the kind of person to suffer in silence. It was clear from all of his previous injuries, how he competed while in pain and only ever said anything when it was almost too late.

“Do you think I can still do it?”

There was something in his voice like he was almost on the verge of breaking. He sounded vulnerable in a way that was entirely too new, in a way you wanted to push Vernon and his camera away because that was a part of him you knew he didn’t want the world to see.

Instead, you reached for his arm, patting it a couple of times, hoping that your touch, as ungraceful and awkward as it was, was able to soothe him, even if it was just for a moment.

“I was watching some of your competitions last night, again, you know? And that guy? He’s still in there, I’m sure of it, I’ve seen him”

You weren’t just saying that to cheer him up, your words were true. You had seen that version of him, little glimpses here and there. He was in the way his eyes suddenly changed and it was like he owned the entire room, in the way he suddenly turned confident, in the way he was charming in a way that was almost sickening but all too enchanting either way.

Whether or not he believed it himself, Yoon Jeonghan was a force to be reckoned with.

"What kind of kid were you?" you asked, looking up at Jeonghan.

He sat opposite to you, bent down to tie the laces on his skates. His hair covered his face, you were sure that he couldn't see much, but he didn't seem bothered by it in the least. Maybe he had just gotten used to it.

Four months had gone by since you started to follow Jeonghan and even before that, he had kept his hair long. And you hated to admit that he looked good, too good even.

"What kind do you think I was?" He smirked at you for a second before going back to his skates.

Rolling your eyes, you couldn't help but smile.

"This is not how it works. I ask the questions here"

Jeonghan leaned back on his seat, giving you his full attention. His smirk did something to your insides. It felt tight and loose at the same time, like wild butterflies running around on your skin.

"Come on, humor me"

You pretended to be in deep thought, Jeonghan as a child had been something you thought about for a long time now. Even though he was very serious most of the time there were these small moments where he looked like a kid ready to do something he wasn't supposed to.

"I can only think of you as a troublemaker” you smiled, closing your notes knowing well that you’d make no progress at all with the filming “I’ve seen pictures of you and a child and although you looked very cute, I’m sure you were a handful to your mother”

Jeonghan laughed, throwing his head back and in that moment he looked so carefree.

Even since the start of the documentary Jeonghan had used his most serious expressions, a frown always taking over his beautiful features. But he had been back on the ice for a few days already and in those days he had looked the happiest you had seen him yet.

Of course, he still hasn’t practiced the way he wanted or the way he used to. He still needed to take things slowly: fewer hours, less power in the movements. But it was undeniable that he was a completely different person.

It wasn’t that he had been in a bad mood every single day but there was just something about him in his element, of him doing something he was obviously passionate about, that was so enchanting that it became impossible to look away from him.

“Where did you see those pictures?”

“You do know that I had to google you because I had no idea who you were, right?”

One thing you managed to learn about Jeonghan is the fact that, if in the right mood, he is a trickster and most of all, a flit. You weren’t even sure that he was aware of what he was doing, it seemed like second nature to him.

He put a hand over his chest, faking being in pain. His face contorted and a pout on his lips.

“I thought we were getting to know each other”.

Seungkwan coughed by your side, finally making you remember that there were people around you and that the entire interaction between you and Jeonghan was being recorded.

There was something about Jeonghan that always seemed to make you forget where you were, that maybe there were people around you. You could only suppose that it was the charm of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, who knew how to sweet talk someone.

And Jeonghan knew what he was doing, what kind of words or looks could get a reaction from a woman.

Most of the time while around Jeonghan you had to remind your heart to be calm and quiet. Being around him was a temporary arrangement, as soon as the Olympics started said arrangement would be done and you’d have to go back to your normal life. One that didn’t include Yoon Jeonghan. And you also knew that there wasn’t space for you in his life.

“We’re going to set up the cameras around the ice,” Seungkwan said awkwardly while dragging Verno by the hand.

You watched as the two walked away from you, whispering in secrecy. You could only imagine the kind of things that they were saying. If you knew Seungkwan at all, you were certain that it couldn’t be any good.

“Jeonghan, I ask questions and you answer them. And while one could say that I’m getting to know you, I don’t think it would be possible to say the same thing about me”

Jeongahn's smile was defiant when he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You have a no-bullshit policy, which I should have known, from the start, but I wasn’t expecting someone like you. Although you try really hard to pretend that you’re not, your eyes are kind and you quietly take care of those around you, me included sometimes. You got worried when I was in pain in rehab and when Vernon got hurt it seemed as if you were angry, but you were concerned about him and after that, you asked to have another staff with you so that he wouldn’t need to carry so many things on his own. You and Seungkwan bicker a lot but when he isn’t around for a day you are quieter and your questions have been more direct. That doesn’t make you a lousy documentarist, please don’t think that I’m saying that, you take your job very seriously. I’m saying that you put people above your job. I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to become a documentarist, to begin with, to tell stories”

You stared at him, mouth open wondering just how he had come up with all of that and why he had managed to hit everything right on the stop. Especially the reason why you became a documentarist. It seemed very obvious, yes, but it wasn’t something that you had said.

In fact, your personal life was something that very few people knew. You weren’t one to share your thoughts and what was on your mind with people. Seungkwan was a good friend, but he was a work friend so your personal life was just that, personal. Not that you had someone to share it with, either way.

The apartment was empty when you left and it was in the exact same way and you got back. You were on your own, with no parents, no siblings and most of your friends had given up on you somewhere along the way.

For the longest time, you put your job first. It came before anything and anyone. You were building your career and name at the time so it was hard not to put it first. It was your dream, one that your friends supported at first but were displeased when you decided to put it first.

You had thought that if you made it big on your job if you got hired by a big production company, you’d be able to find the happiness that you had searched for a long time. And while some of it was true, your career was on the right path and you did something you loved, you didn’t have a lot more beyond that going one.

It was become just you and your job.

Was it sad? Yes, but it was also the life you chose.

“Just because I don’t know details of your life, doesn’t mean that I don’t watch you, yn”

You watched as Jeonghan fell for what felt like the hundredth time that day. It didn't make sense, not really. At least not for you. And from the looks of it, for him too.

He was frustrated and completely angry. All those people looking at him, expectations high, waiting for something. He wasn't sure what. For him to fail? To see if he still could do it?

Everything was possible and impossible at the same time.

He couldn't stop his eyes from going after you every time you fell. Somehow, your reaction was the only one that mattered to him. The first few times your face was completely emotionless, as if you were staring at a blank wall. Then Jeonghan fell once again, and again, and again. He stopped counting at 10, but he knew it was much more than that actually. But your gaze, which was fixed on him, became more worried as the minutes passed and he hated being the cause of it.

Somehow, since he met you, only two things were on Jeonghan's mind: skating and you.

He didn't know how, he didn't know why, but you had taken over his every thought. It was as if you had walked through an imaginary door and entered his mind and decided that it was a great place to be.

Even on days when you didn't see each other because there was no recording, he was tempted to talk to you. And on one of those days, he just succumbed to the temptation of picking up the phone and calling you.

“Jeonghan, is everything okay?” was the first thing you said.

He hated that worry was the first emotion he awakened in you. He hated that the first thing you said wasn't "hello" like a normal person. But at the same time, the concern made him feel somehow welcomed. It could, of course, be all in his head, and what he saw as concern for himself was actually concern for the documentary.

"I just wanted to talk," he admitted.

Maybe it was because he had gotten used to talking to you, maybe it was because you offered zero judgment for the way he thought or reacted. Or maybe it was because it was you. Whatever it was, Jeonghan felt comfortable talking to you.

Telling the truth, about everything, was not difficult, in fact, it became something very easy. It was because of you, he knew.

"I realized I don't know anything about you"

You laughed and he listened as you moved through what he imagined to be his apartment.

"That's because I interview you and not the other way around"

He sat on the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him as he supported the rest of his weight on his arms stretched behind him.

"Do you think it's so bad that I know anything about you?"

You remained silent for a few seconds, seeming to think about the idea. It wasn't bad, not at all.

At several moments you found yourself with your cell phone in your hand, ready to send a message or call him. You weren’t sure what, but there was something about Jeonghan that just made you want to tell him everything.

"What do you want to know?" you said with a sigh.

"Whatever you want to share"

The great truth is that very little happened in your life. You lived alone, worked every day, and came home alone. Your last boyfriend, or even a fling, was over a year before. Your friends, if you could call them that, were all from work. Your life was quite still and dull. Even if you wanted to talk about work. Jeonghan was your job. There wasn't much to talk about.

"I don't think I have much to tell" you knew that what you were about to say wasn't the happiest topic in the world, but it was what you had to offer "My mother passed away when I was nineteen, since then I've been alone"

You could still clearly remember the day your father left. There wasn't a fight. He never packed his bag and left. One day he was there when you woke up, he gave you breakfast and took you to school, like he did on most days. But it was his job to pick you up and he never showed up. Your mother showed up instead, her eyes swollen as she did her smile to smile at you and explain to the teacher why she was so late. When you finally got home she said "Now it's just you and me. Daddy had to leave"

For months, years even, you waited for him to come back. You thought one day he would just appear in front of you. You were disappointed when it was your mother who showed up to pick you up when he didn't come to his birthdays when you called the number he had left with his mother and he never answered.

You waited until you turned 18 to go after him. You only had a name, but with that alone, a person can find everything on the internet. You found him in another state, working at a real estate agency. You sat down in front of him and talked for about half an hour. You made up a story about going to college and needing a place to live. You said your name and your mother's name several times, surname and everything, and at no point did he seem to connect one thing to the other. Until the last second, when you said you would think about renting the studio he had suggested, and he walked you to the door. He said, "I left for a reason, don't come back here."

You couldn't believe what you had heard. You couldn't understand why he left and why he never came back. But at that moment you decided that if he didn't want you, you didn't need him. Your mother had worked so hard to make sure you had everything you needed.

Exactly one year later, your mother died in a bizarre car accident. It was like being 7 years old again and losing another person, only in a much more painful way.

"You don’t have any siblings?" Jeonghan's voice on the other end brought you back "Relatives?"

You shook her head, even though you knew he couldn't see you.

"I was an only child, so no siblings. My mom was an orphan so relatives either. My father left when I was a child"

You and Jeonghan spent the whole night on the phone, talking about everything and nothing. From trivial things to more personal matters. His delight upon learning that you didn’t have a boyfriend didn’t go unnoticed.

Calls and messages became commonplace between the two of you. Your heart raced every time a new message arrived and it was hard to hide your disappointment when you realized it wasn't from him. On days when you didn't see each other, you would stare at your phone, waiting for it to ring, waiting for him to call.

So you hoped he understood when you shook your head in his direction, a request written on your face. That's enough for today, you can try more tomorrow, you hoped he would understand.

Instead of trying one more time after he fell once again, he skated to the edge of the ice. His face was red from the effort, and his chest rose and fell in an uneven rhythm trying to force air back into his lungs.

"I want everyone out," he said, his voice broken.

Seungkwan and Vernon didn't even question it, they simply started putting away the equipment. Jihoon, who had shown up unexpectedly to "supervise" didn't seem to understand what was going on, but turned to help Vernon.

Jeonghan's coach was the only one who approached him, his hand on the athlete's shoulder.

"Go home, rest. Tomorrow we try again"

Jeonghan shook his head. He would only get out of there after managing to make the damn jump, even if he had to stay the whole night.

"Just half an hour more, but I want to be alone"

The coach clearly didn't like the idea, but he knew it was stupid to try and make Jeonghan change his mind.

You turned to him, looking at his face, trying to figure out if he was in pain or if he was just being a big blockhead. Without giving yourself the luxury of thinking about what you were doing, you placed your hand over Jeonghan's and squeezed for a second. You hoped he understood what you meant.

"You have to rest"

You knew everyone was watching, that despite saying they were leaving they weren't actually moving. Jeonghan didn't seem to care and for a moment you decided not to care either.

“Stay,” he said softly, so only you could hear him “please.”

Some strands of hair were stuck to Jeonghan's face, you wanted to get them out of his face, but caution spoke louder. You looked over your shoulder and everyone was still looking at the two of you, but as soon as they noticed your gaze they started moving again. Seungkwan shouted “We’re leaving” and seconds later the door slammed.

Finally, you were alone.

“You have to rest,” you said again.

You took advantage of the fact that no one else was there and removed the strands of hair stuck to his forehead, tucking it behind his ear. Jeonghan sighed, his eyes closing as he leaned towards you. Just that little touch wasn't enough.

“I need to get it right”

"If you stop now and rest you will know what you are doing wrong"

A half smile shined on Jeonghan's face as he leaned further into the barrier, his face just inches away from his.

"My ego loves it when you say I'm doing something wrong”

You pushed him back, needing a little bit more space to yourself. He was too close, you could feel his breath on your nose and cheeks. It was suddenly as if the world was made of Yoon Jeonghan, it was just him and no one else.

“I’m sure your ego will be just fine”

Instead of pulling your hand back, you allowed it to stay in his chest. Jeonghan smiled for a second before pressing his hand over yours.

“Just another 30 minutes” he repeated what he said to his coach “I promise I’ll stop in precisely 30 minutes”

You nodded with a sigh. There was nothing you could do to stop him. Something told you that even if you threatened him to leave he would stay and practice, he would stay on the ice for far more than just 30 minutes if you weren’t around.

So you sat down and waited for him. And he fell time and time again, his face growing displeased with himself at each passing second, each time he jumped but didn't manage to land.

Jeonghan had done that same jump countless times before with ease as if one's body would simply perform such movements. To him, it always seemed as easy as walking. You had seen it in all of his videos, almost in trance by him.

“If you’re not done in twenty-one minutes” you pretended to look at your imaginary watch “I’m taking you out of there by force”

Jeonghan threw his head back, laughing.

“Remember when you said that you never skated before?” Jeonghan asked after finally being able to breathe properly again.

You weren’t too sure how, but he had stopped after 30 minutes. A big smile on his face after he managed to land the jump after so many tries. After getting it right once, he didn’t get it wrong again. It was like something clicked inside his brain as if he had found the last missing piece of the puzzle.

Of all the things you said to Jeonghan, from the most personal to the most trivial, that was, by far, the only one you regretted. You had told him over the phone but he looked horrified, it was easy to imagine the wide eyes on his face.

But him standing there, in front of you, with a smile that could only be seen on the face of a mischievous child, said much more than any words he could utter.

“No,” you said, shaking your head, already moving back.

You had learned several peculiarities about Jeonghan in all the months you spent by his side, and one of the most glaring was the look in his eyes when he was about to do something he shouldn't.

“You have to try, at least once” his lips were a mixture of a smile and a pout “You will have the best teacher in the world”

You saw it and shook your head again.

“I can’t trust a teacher who spent the day falling” you pointed to the rink behind him.

As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them. You didn't know if your words would offend him, you hoped he knew it wasn't your intention. But you also knew that hell was paved with good intentions. Jeonghan was silent for a minute, his face serious, his eyes not leaving yours for an entire minute.

Then he smiled, his nose wrinkling a little as he laughed, loudly. It didn't take long for you to join him.

“You’re evil,” he said, trying to control himself, but failing “This way you’re going to break my heart”

“I think there are few things in this world that can break your heart.”

You would definitely be one of them, Jeonghan wanted to say, but he held his tongue in his mouth. He knew he couldn't say that, he knew that any word said wrongly could simply ruin everything he had built so far. If he could even say he built something. He liked to think so.

From the first time you spoke, Jeonghan knew there was no going back, at least for him. He had never done anything like that. He had never called someone in the middle of the night simply because he wanted to hear someone's voice. And in this case, it wasn't just someone's voice, it was your voice that he wanted to hear.

With each passing sentence, Jeonghan found himself falling more in love with you and he wasn't able to say why. Maybe he could blame it on your eyes, always so focused, but somehow when they turned to him, they seemed so sweet and sincere. Or your voice, which gave orders and asked incisive questions, but as soon as the cameras were turned off it became gentle and almost shy. Maybe it was the fact that you seemed like a lioness when you were working, never giving space for unfounded questions, but you were shy when it was just the two of you alone.

He liked this version of you, who was right in front of him, who seemed completely comfortable with him, to the point of making jokes — something that until that moment you hadn't done yet.

“We always have extra pairs in the back, I'm sure one of them is your size” he had made sure you would, with Seungkwan's help of course “And then we try it, what do you think?”

Even though you were shaking your head, you went to the closet where you knew the skates were stored.

With your knees bent and shaking, you stepped onto the ice and immediately regretted giving in to Jeonghan's will. You didn't know how he had managed it, but in the closet, there was a brand new pair of skates, your size. Jeonghan had smiled as he bent down to tie your shoelaces,

“I’m going to fall flat on my face,” you said as you grabbed the bars.

Jeonghan held your face in his hands, your eyes fixed on his.

“I won’t let you fall”

The way the words left his lips made your heart skip a beat, or maybe several of them. You could feel it on the back of your throat and you could swear that your hands shook a little as you accepted the hand Jeonghan had extended to you.

You wished it could just stop. Not for your heart to stop beating altogether but for it to stop reacting to Jeonghan. Everything changed after that first call and you weren’t too sure of where it was. He had, someway, somehow, become a pivotal point of you. His voice, his eyes. The way tingles started to run down through your body the moment his skin came in touch with yours. How, despite all odds, he made you feel safe in a way you weren’t too sure you had ever experienced before.

When he said that he wasn’t going to you fall, you believed him so you held his hands — strong enough that you were sure were hurting him but he didn't seem to mind — and allowed Jeonghan to pull you into the rink.

“Don't move your feet” he said, voice ever so sweet but with a slight hint of teasing “I know it's probably hard, but let me take control here”

Forcing out all of the remaining air inside your lungs, you did as he asked. Instead of keeping your focus on the ice under your feet, you kept them in Jeonghan's face. A mistake, of course.

His eyes were too intense if you could say that. You didn't want to understand what was happening. Perhaps for the first time since you met Jeonghan, you didn't want to understand what it could mean. You were scared. What, exactly, you weren’t sure.

“I didn’t even have to ask you to look at me,” he said and you laughed a little, automatically looking away “Keep looking at me”

The whole experience of skating for the first time, or being guided, was not being registered by your brain. All you could see, think, feel, was Jeonghan, as if he had become a central point of everything.

“I think we should stop here”

You hoped your voice was loud enough and judging by the look on Jeonghan's face, it was. The smile fell from his lips and it was as if a small light in his eyes had gone out.

You hated that you were the one causing that reaction in him, but you knew it was best to stop everything before it went too far.

"I thought that…"

“We can’t blur the lines that much” you shook your head.

You didn't know exactly who you were trying to convince, him or you. You also weren't sure you had to convince yourself of anything. It was as if your brain had split in two. One part, probably the loudest, wanted you to just let things happen. You knew you weren't doing anything wrong, you weren't doing anything much really. What you did outside of your working hours and who you did it with was your problem and no one else's.

But the other part, one that spoke softly and that should have had much less strength, said it was dangerous, but also didn't offer much reason to be dangerous.

Yet somehow, that was the side you chose to listen to.

"Why?" He asked forcing his feet to the ground, making the two of you stand in the center of the rink. “What line are we blurring?”

You shook your head, hands clinging to his waist as you felt your feet begin to slide.

“I don’t know” you whispered in response “We are working”

Jeonghan leaned forward and pressed his lips to your cheek. With a sigh, he let his forehead fall onto your shoulder and closed his eyes.

You didn't know exactly where your skepticism came from, but you were also sure it wasn't completely unfounded. But truth be told, you wanted to blur that line and any others that might appear along the way.

“Go on a date with me,” he said “If you still feel that way, there’s nothing we can do. Just don’t… don’t stop something that hasn’t even started yet”

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katyspersonal · 5 months ago

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The best Bloodborne Wiki is a passion project of a single person, is about to get even better + how it can be sustained for years to come!

Hello guys! So like many of you've learned from the post with super good model view of Winter Lantern, recently, on Twitter, Meph announced ( x ) the plan to fill the wiki with very useful, very comprehensive screenshots of the models for bosses, enemies, NPCs and even cut content! The wiki has already been a huge help for lorediggers and artists, but THIS is what we will get:

This page is for Lady Maria and you can check it yourself here: ( x )! It is broken down in the categories of general close-ups of her model, then very high-quality screenshots of every attack during her boss battle and walking, and then raw model!

(I never was able to capture a good look at her using Arcane too like here, for example!)

Winter Lantern page ( x ) is using similar principle!

This is not a secret that very often in Fromsoft games, additional information can be obtained not through descriptions but through visual hints! For example, some people only learned that Winter Lantern's head is made of melted Messengers only now, after a proper look at her model! So, of course getting a proper look at every single character and creature from the game could always be helpful!

This, however, is just a recent highlight for this Bloodborne Wiki! Even prior that, it has been providing invaluable help for the fans! Examples off the top of my head: comprehensive data on what character has what items used or not, great and comprehensive hints and tutorials on upgrades and farming and builds for the players, making every bit of information on Chalice Dungeons and glyphs easily accessible, making datamined NPC sliders of all characters way more accessible and easy to grab and repeat, access to much more obscure models (like Gratia's model), full list of internal filenames and patches progress, making information from physical Bloodborne tutorial book accessible...

There are probably more things to cover that me and others found a great help in, and sometimes we might not even notice! I am sure many people could name at least one way where this wiki has been very helpful, offering raw facts and 100% valid information (and properly sourced whenever someone else helped!) without any speculating, in the most elaborate manner! We should not take it for granted because all this information, found or reshared, was compiled by just one guy out of raw passion for the game! And although this project is not profit-based and Meph is willing to commit to it and pay as much as needed to keep it living, I really still wanted to share the Ko-fi link that exists for anyone who is willing to help sponsoring it!

This is not necessary, and Meph has stated the same, but this project is not only helpful but also really hefty to sustain. The monthly support is only $3 per month, but every little bit not only helps the sustenance, but also knowing how much fans care and simply feeling their support is very significant and sometimes you don't even know how much. Heck, when Meph learned how excited people on Tumblr were about Wiki improving with full compilation of models from every angle.. the reaction was "I am so glad that people still care"! I think everyone who does their best to be useful for the fellow fans needs confirmation that they ARE, for sure, helping!

I just really wanted to get the word out anyways because honestly, none of my super elaborate theories and detailed fanart would've been possible without Meph's Wiki. and also because I am trapped in a clown country where I can't send any international money transfer so the feeling of 'do what I can't' got to me too fsdhfdhs There is no pressure or necessity, but here is the link to anyone who can help and feels the wish to! You've noticed I didn't tag Meph.... since there is no Tumblr account to tag, but again, the Twitter link is also here: ( x )!

#bloodborne #bloodborne wiki #bloodborne reference #lady maria of the astral clocktower #winter lantern #bloodborne enemies #screenshots #use later #all the models are yet to be added but I've already seen really good cainhurst king models and I am SCREAMING #my ass as an artist has never been safer

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watchmegetobsessed · 1 year ago

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THE FINAL SHOW

A/N: last night was a rollercoaster of emotions and i still can't believe love on tour is over, but it will always have a special place in my heart. one thing is for sure, im sill here and i will continue writing for this amazing human until he returns onto the stage where he belongs.

WORD COUNT: 2.6k

SUMMARY: You made a promise in the beginning of Love On Tour and now it's catching up with you and though your heart wants you to keep your word, you know it's not that easy, because it's about your boss, the person who matters the most to you.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

You should have learned by now that Harry Styles never forgets.

He remembers every birthday, anniversary, every story anyone tells him, he remembers fans he has interacted with and he is extremely good with names. It’s definitely one thing you admire about him.

But know this tiny detail about him did not teach you to watch what you say around him, because he will recite your words even years later.

It’s been an on and off tango between the two of you for a long time. As his assistant, you’ve been dancing on the line of being professional and jumping into his bed whenever he does as so much as looking at you with those stupid, gorgeous eyes. He is your job, you keep telling that to yourself, but deep down you know he is more than just that.

He is… everything.

It would be easier if he only saw you as his assistant, but that’s not the case. Just how you caught those certain feelings, Harry has shown interest towards you, on several occasions, flirting with you bluntly, asking you out every possible chance.

And each time, when you turned down, a voice in your head screamed at you, but your rationality has been stronger so far and it hasn’t let you take that leap that would change everything forever.

Now, back to his immaculate memory.

You’d been working for him for over a year when the first European leg of Love On Tour was about to start, the residency shows were set to be announced and along with the South American, Australian and Asian dates and another full European leg was in the planning phase. Tour was looking endless and everyone on the team was joking that there won’t be a final show of Love On Tour.

Following another meeting in Harry’s LA home you were hanging out by his pool, something that happened quite often, because he liked to share what he had with the people around him. The sun was setting and you both had several glasses of wine, so the business talk has been long forgotten when you ordered food for the two of you.

You were in the shallow, lounge area of the pool where you could sit in the water and you were enjoying a hamburger while he was swimming around, watching you. You caught him looking right in the middle of a huge bite.

“What?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him as he swam closer with a grin on his face.

“You look amazing.”

You snorted out loud, mouth full and probably smelling like onions.

“I’m sure I do,” you sarcastically said. “Is this what turns you on? Chewing and onion smell?”

“No. It’s you.”

You stopped and gave him a suspicious look. He moved over and sat beside you.

“You turn me on, Y/N,” he added, when you didn’t say anything, just leisurely staring back at you, as if he hadn’t just overstepped a major boundary between boss and employee.

“Harry, stop,” you mumbled, putting the remainder of your burger to the plate at the edge of the pool.

“What? You started it with guessing what turns me on.”

“It was just a joke!”

“Okay, and I told you the truth.”

“You definitely shouldn’t be saying shit like that to me.”

“Too late, already did, so I think we could take it even further,” he shrugged and you couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“Oh, you are something else, Harry Styles, you know that?”

“That didn’t sound like a no to me,” he grinned, moving just a tad bit closer, but still respecting your private space. “I really want to kiss you, Y/N,” he bluntly added and you knew it was the wine talking from him, sober Harry wouldn’t have said those words out loud, but it didn’t fail to make you feel dizzy and weak.

“That’s not gonna happen now,” you shook your head.

“Okay, if not now, then when?”

“You are so annoying,” you laughed again. “You know what? You can kiss me when Love On Tour officially ends,” you joked.

It was a genuine joke. Anyone would have known you didn’t mean it, but it was Harry you said it to and the moment the words left your mouth they burned into his memories forever.

“Alright then,” he simply said, splashed you and then swam away.

That was the beginning of 2022. You slept off the wine and though you never forgot you said it, you didn’t keep track of the promise you initially made.

Harry did, however.

Not one day went by without him thinking about those words and it was the only reason he was looking forward for the very last show of Love On Tour.

He’s been acting weird, probably since about Vienna. With two weeks until the end of tour and his break, your workload hasn’t gotten less so you couldn’t really care about his weirdness, but when you’re out for dinner in Barcelona with the band and some other crew members and two rounds of drinks have been consumed already, you finally acknowledge the change.

“Hey, you alright?” You poke your elbow into his side, stealing a fry from his plate. Shrugging, he pushes the plate closer to you.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?” you ask, snacking on his leftover fries.

“The end of tour.”

Freezing you instantly remember to that one conversation in his pool. You peek at him and find him already looking at you with a gaze that burns right into your heart. Clearing your throat you turn back to the fries and pretend like you don’t remember the promise you made.

“Just two more weeks and you’re free.”

“That’s not how I see it.”

“Mmm,” you hum, but don’t dare to look at him. You can feel his eyes on the side of your face, but luckily, before he could bring up anything specific Mitch call out his name from across the table and you’re relieved. For now.

It’s almost midnight when you all head back to the hotel and you and Harry somehow end up at the back of the group. The elevator is too full for the two of you to get in as well, so you wait for another round. While you’re still ignoring to look at him, he is very much only looking at you, it feels like.

The elevator returns and you get inside, but Harry pushes the button for the top floor.

“Hey, that’s—“

“I want to show you something,” he hold up a hand.

The top of the hotel has a rooftop bar with an amazing view of the city, the perfect grid of the streets, it’s breathtaking.

“I knew you would like it,” he smiles, leaning against the railing next to you, with his back towards the view, as if he was way more interested in seeing you than the city.

“Because you know me so well,” you chuckle softly.

“I do,” he answers quietly. “We have only four more shows.”

“Mhm,” you nod, eyes glued to the view in front of you.

“The final show of Love On Tour is in ten days.”

“I’m glad you keep track of the shows so well, I feel like I’m not even needed anymore,” you joke with a chuckle, but when you finally look at him you know why he is bringing all of these up.

“Do you remember what you promised would happen when the last show finally comes?”

“Harry…”

“You do,” he simply says. “I know you as someone who keeps her word.”

“It’s… Harry, that was never a promise, I was just joking!”

“None of it is a joke to me, Y/N.”

You roll your eyes, but hate the effect his words have on you. Like your whole inside is on fire, begging to just give in finally, to end this years long game and act on the feelings you’ve been pushing down so hard all this time.

Sighing you cross your arms over your chest. You want to make fun out of it again and say that it was all just about a kiss, but you know, you both know that it would never stop at one kiss, that it’s bigger than that and it would consume you fully if you let your walls down.

“This seems like a big mistake,” you tell him honestly. “What if it goes wrong and… I lose my job… and you.”

Your voice breaks at the end and you can’t look him in the eyes. You’ve spent endless nights thinking about what would happen if you gave in and it all went downhill. Your job might be the last thing on the list of worries, what really scares you is to imagine a version of your life without him because.

It would break you.

“Being scared of the wrong outcome will keep you away from the best things in your life, Y/N.”

“Did you just call yourself the best thing in my life?” you try to joke, but he just gives you a look.

“Don’t think about the what ifs, if you get there, you’ll figure it out. You always do. We always do.”

“This is not that simple,” you shake your head. “You know it’s not that simple.”

“But it is,” he chuckles, but you keep shaking your head. “Figuring out my feelings has never been this simple.”

There’s a heartbeat of silence when not even you know whether you’re about to give in or not and for a split second it actually feels like you’re breaking, but something pulls you back last minute.

“No. And we should be heading back, you have a show tomorrow. You need to get some rest.”

You step away from the railing and start walking back, but when you notice that he’s not coming you turn around and see him staring at the city this time. Opening your mouth you’re about to call out for him, but then change your mind and let him be, walking back to your room.

When you see him again in the morning he doesn’t bring it up again and you’re convinced he won’t bring your promise up again.

The last show has everyone all over the place, you’ve been running around since about six in the morning, picking up people, making sure the hotel check-ins go smoothly and everything is exactly how it should be. The day feels like a whole week, but the excitement and bittersweet sadness that’s been wrapped around everyone is what keeps you up on your feet still.

But the real weight of the last show hits the moment it finally starts.

This is the time when you have nothing to do so you watch Harry perform every night, meaning that this is the 169th time you’re seeing him take the stage and perform just as perfectly as he did at the first, the fiftieth and one hundredth show. He always gives his absolute most. Not just at his shows, but in his life as well. That’s one of the million reasons you fell for him.

Medicine has everyone dying, all 100 thousand people out there and then Harry starts giving his speech that’s extra long this time, talking about how grateful he is for everything, for his fans, his friends and family and it’s one big emotional mess and you can’t help but cry a bit as well, watching from the side.

“The last two years of my life, the last two years of this tour has been the greatest experience I could ever ask for…”

“I see it, the love, in how it’s affected all the people around me, continue to affect people. It does not end with this tour.”

“I love you, thank you so much.”

Screaming rolls over the crowd as an answer and you expect him to go on with starting As It Was, but then he starts talking again.

“There is one more thing I want to say tonight. I have learned and experienced so much in the past years. I will be forever thankful for the memories we’ve made.”

There. He said we, he switched up his narrative. That’s how you know he is not talking to the crowd. He is talking to you.

“If this is it, if it never goes beyond this, I would live a happy life. With you forever in my heart. But if we ever take it further, if we ever take the risk and reach for the stars and we might fall… just know that I will always be here for you. You can never lose me. No matter what. I love you.”

You suck on your breath, covering your mouth with your hand as you stare at him stand in the middle of the stage, staring out ahead of him, the crowd screaming for him, oblivious to the one sided conversation that just happened between you and him.

As It Was starts and the show carries on towards the end, but you’re still frozen in that moment and when the show ends and you watch Harry drop to his knees on the stage, you know things will never be the same.

Backstage is like a tornado once the show is over, the band walks off the stage and Harry is following right behind with Lloyd by his side, but when he sees you standing still in the middle of the madness, he drops out of the conversation right away and stops a few feet away from you, letting you decide where to go now.

“You promise?” you breathe out, your throat closing up. “You promise I will never lose you?”

“I thought that was clear by now, Y/N,” he replies, his chest still rapidly rising and falling. “But if you need me to actually say it, I will. You will never lose me, no matter what. It will always be you and me and I know you’re scared, but I’m—“

He doesn’t get to finish, because you’re already throwing yourself into his arms and kissing him.

It doesn’t matter that the whole crew bursts out into screaming and whistling, that you’re giving a second show with the way you get lost in each other, because in your little bubble it’s just you and Harry and everything that’s been building between the two of you.

Every joke, every teasing comment, all the stolen looks and suppressed feeling that was never acted on is now free, they all burst out of your chest and into the electricity that’s snaking around you as you keep taking more and more of him, hungry to make up for the past years.

The clapping dies down when you finally pull back, forehead resting against his, his hands holding you so tight as if he was afraid you might run away any moment.

“You kept your promise. I knew you were trusty, Y/N Y/L/N,” he chuckles, pecking your lips softly again as you laugh at his words, finally opening your eyes to look at him.

“Actually I feel like I kissed you. I promised you could kiss me, so technically—“

“Shut up, you’re already getting on my nerves,” he laughs, kissing you over and over again, so your promise is actually fulfilled. “Can’t wait for you to do that every day for the rest of my life.”

“I thought that was part of my job too, have I not been doing that?” you tease, lips moving against his as you speak.

“You have, but you can take it to a whole new level now,” he laughs, pulling you against him before letting you go and popping the bubble, though his hand never lets go of yours, not while everyone congratulates him, not when the final show celebrations start and not when he pulls you into his hotel room to end this journey of Love On Tour with you by his side, but also start a new chapter.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb

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yamujiburo · 1 year ago

Note

Some of this might sound intentionally hostile in text and I apologize.

I'm saying this as an abuse survivor mind you - don't throw "abusive ships" under the bus so easily - at least, so long as they're not actually glamorizing the abuse. I lived that irl and I personally find someone overcoming it, slowly having enough of that bullshit and getting out over time, and the other person having to wipe their own butt for once after they've made the damn mess, very refreshing. Maybe that's not a ship in the traditional sense. It's no happily ever after bc it shouldn't be, but I find stories like mine shyed away from so often because even the portrayal gets considered a "canon ship". ... that's just how media works now, I guess? I very rarely See a fictional relationship not called a ship in literally any context now so that's the definition I'm running on.

I wish more people were willing to portray the hardships of finding acceptance outside of "whoever you can find will accept you" very much, and finding the better things after. I wish people weren't terrified out of portrayimg situations like mine.

Jessie.. is not a good person in canon. You expect me to believe she moved into to hanamusa seamlessly, without falling on her ass? I never see you talk about Jessie's abusive tendencies in canon. You never talk about the inherent meanness she needed to get over to get there. She's quite aml lot like my ex in canon, actually.

What do you mean you're going to just remove from the character that she is abusive to those around her. Jessie hits people. She takes her own junk out on others all the time. Do you even like the character then, are you actually invested in her growing, or are you just making an OC at this point?

Idk. Do you, boo. But you are posting about a character who, whether you like it or not, is canonically abusive. I just don't buy that dating Ash's mom alone fixed her. That isn't... How that works. It would be excellent if it did. Part of my love of hanamusa is that it signals Jessie's change - but she could have changed for anyone before now.

What makes Delia different? How is she specifically a turning point for Jessie? Because Jessie's flaws go well beyond just bossing people around.

I would love if my abuser had the same outcome as your Jessie. I adore your portayals of hanamusa, where she's still flawed but still strives to do better. That's all I ever wanted from my ex.

What the fuck got her there tho.

Anyways I've been watching a lot of Bojack Horseman lately -

I agree with you! I don't think abusive relationships (or any tough subject matter in general) should be shied away from in media. It can be powerful when executed well and written by folks who are equipped to tell those kinds of stories. I do think it's sad when people treat it as off limits. But the ask I got was definitely more about which ships I have where I actually like the relationship between the characters. I think the semantics of the word "ship" are kind of vague or rather, over time, got so specific to only mean "absolutely love together and want them as endgame" (for most people anyways). So that's usually what I take the word to mean when people ask me about it.

I can 100% appreciate how an abusive relationship is written and handled, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna ship an abuser with their victim (that falls into the glorifying you're talking about). Love Bojack Horseman! Big fan! I think the way they handled Bojack and Sarah Lynn was beautifully and tragically well written. But does that mean I ship Bojack and Sarah Lynn? Absolutely fucking not.

I've talked about Jessie's character plenty on this blog and the way she's handled in earlier seasons specifically. This is kind of a summary: If we look at it on surface level, yes we can say she was abusive. But I think it's important to acknowledge and take into account the medium, time period and culture. Slapstick and cartoon violence was HUGE in anime and animation in the 90s (and prior to that too). Characters were always cartoonishly slapping each other around with giant mallets, folding fans, etc. Looney Tunes style. These slapstick bits were always distinct from real abuse and hurt (for Pokémon, Jessiebelle comes to mind). Mean slapstick wasn't a character trait exclusive to Jessie either. We saw it in Misty, James, Meowth, characters of the day and pretty much any character who got mad. It was a visual shortcut to show anger.

This type of slapstick has since (thankfully) died out and it hasn't really been a part of the Pokémon franchise since the early 2000s. However, Jessie was a notably special case. One of my favorite fun facts about the Pokémon anime is that there was a point in the series where Megumi Hayashibara (Jessie/Musashi's seiyuu) told the writers that moving forward, she no longer wanted Jessie to be violent or to be shown hitting James or Meowth (source: her memoir "The Characters Taught Me Everything"). She thought it directly went against the vision Takeshi Shudo had for Jessie, James and Meowth, when he created them, which was that they are good natured villains. If you watch from DP and on, Jessie never lays a hand on either of them. I think it was a such a good move on Pokémon's part to change her character like that and I'm forever grateful that Hayashibara said something! Whenever I write Jessie now, I always keep that in mind. She's mean, shouty and stupid but would never genuinely hurt those she cares about.

From then, her character becomes much more bearable. She's still bossy, mean and vain (typical cartoon villainess attributes) but I'd hesitate to say abusive. She'll still yell at James and Meowth, they all yell at each other, but in more of a sibling way (imo) rather than a "i'm actively trying to hurt your feelings way". The show makes a point especially in later seasons to show that Jessie, James and Meowth are not beyond being redeemed. From conception the whole POINT of the Team Rocket trio was that they are redeemable but their persistence and obsession keeps getting in the way of them seeing that there's a better life for them out there.

I won't deny that Jessie was unsavory in earlier seasons, but when I write her, I choose to write the version that Takeshi Shudo and Megumi Hayashibara had envisioned from the get go. She's still incredibly flawed and makes plenty missteps but wants to be better as you stated! My favorite part about Jessie is that she's a piece of shit LOL and I enjoy writing the changes she goes through to be better (but then still showing her default so some of her evil tendencies). In this AU, Delia doesn't fix Jessie. Jessie fixes Jessie because she is with someone makes her want to be a better person. She's already in the middle of turning over a new leaf before even meeting Delia, after leaving Team Rocket. Writing Jessie as legitimately abusive I think could work, but that's not my story to tell and if someone who were more equipped to tell that story did, I'd be very interested to take a listen!

I hope this doesn't come off as trying to deny or invalidate your experience. If you see that in Jessie, I hear you! This is just how I've interpreted her character over the years, having watched every episode of Pokémon and reading Japanese interviews from the cast and crew. She's such a compelling character and I love how messy she is

#ask yam #long post #tw abuse

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carlyraejepsans · 7 months ago

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UTY!Flowey, "lore" and how to criticize a fan prequel without being an insufferable pedantic, a guide by Biscia.

(for my muskless fellows, here's a transcript of my thread on Undertale Yellow that I posted on Twitter. enjoy!)

There's this really frustrating attitude in fan spaces i like to call "lorepilling" where people are substantially more concerned with encyclopedic knowledge of details & minutiae (so called "lore") in place of full-text thematic/narrative analysis as if the two are mutually interchangeable.

It's especially common in large franchises and story heavy videogames, and it's like... Are You Treating This Piece Of Art Like A Trivia Battle Or Are You Treating It Like A Story

This is coming from a person who is also deeply autistic about UTDR trivia btw, I'm just saying that when it comes to transformative *stories*, depending on the impact it has on character, themes, and narrative structure... lore is expendable.

Ultimately this is why most of the UTY criticism i see (on twitter specifically) falls flat. What does it matter if "lore" means Flowey couldn't chronologically be there when the justice human fell, as long as the game narratively justified his presence in the story in a compelling way?

The real criticism, in the end, is that it didn't.

He's a plot central, main cast character from the canon returning in a cast of mostly OCs and what does he have to show for it? An admittedly sick boss battle in 1/3 endings, sure but... not much else. He has no significant "presence" in the story, no tie, interaction, or even just... an opinion on the rest of the cast. Which is a huge miss when Flowey's meta role is to be Thee completionist player mirror. He's the OG lorepilled UT fan! He's an opinionated little shit!

This isn't to say that UTY *didn't* engage w/ his metanarrative. When me and @a-town-called-hometown first started playing the game (we were both skeptical of Flowey's inclusion), he immediately said "It would be really cool if they made it so this has been going on for a while and Clover has no idea". Which is precisely what the game did in the neutral ending, and what I will openly say was the most well written & well executed part of this game's story...

...a part we almost didn't see, because the pacifist ending disappointed us so much we lost all will to replay.

To put it in the words of my friend Mel @clowwwnbytes, there's a deafening hollowness to UTY Flowey's motivations & core principles where his guilt towards Chara—and resulting black and white thinking—should be. You're telling me Mr Kill-or-be-killed, "sacrificing yourself to do the right thing is stupid", would stand there after 1000s of failed attempts to make Clover survive, look on as they make the same mistake Asriel he did, and fondly call them friend? Cue the guitar, roll the credits?

He would lose it. Oh my god he would lose his goddamn mind, he would throw the nastiest temper tantrum in the world. Are you serious? How dare you. How DARE you. All this effort, all my patience, and you just let yourself DIE for a few worthless idiots? I should've let you ROT!

*clears throat* sorry got a bit too into character. as i was saying.

I can understand a UT prequel wanting to distance itself from the canon Chara storyline in order to form its own identity, but then turning around and choosing Insane About Chara The Character™ for a sidekick is... far from optimal. In the end, Flowey comes across as underutilized and inconsistent, with a whole lot of wasted potential.

This is an issue I have with UTY's character writing (original AND returning) and story structure as a whole. Lots of inconsistent character arcs, tonal dissonance, overuse of situational sadness... it's an amateurish work, after all, and you can feel it. There's no shame in that.

(Though, there ARE some issues that i take more seriously with its writing, especially when it comes to its two main female characters—Ceroba's lack of narrative agency and depth borders on misogynistic writing imo. But that's a topic for another day)

Over all, UTY was an incredible piece of collaborative transformative work, with gorgeous art and a genuinely incredible OST, which... would have benefited from more experienced writers. But hey, you can only ever learn by trying!

For all it could've been a better story, it certainly did not fail to entertain: both when my friend was playing it, and after in our many discussions of its writing, its faults and how it could've been improved (royal scientist!ceroba character fix you will always be famous. to ME!)

I'm sure this project served as an incredible source of experience for the developers: as individual creators AND as a team. I look forward to their future projects!

but also if i have to see another person say UTY is better than Undertale i might turn into The Jonker.

end of the essay! really couldn't stand any of the pedantic ""criticism"" I'd seen of this fangame so far, so i had to say my piece as someone more versed in analysis. happy to elaborate on anything in the replies or in my inbox!

#undertale #undertale yellow #uty #flowey #mywriting #metanalysis

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poisonlove · 1 year ago

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a macchiato, please | j.o

Y/n, working in the quiet café in Turin, is having a normal day until Jenna Ortega, a famous actress, walks into her establishment. This unexpected event will change Y/n's routine and lead to a series of events that will transform her life.

Immersed in the quiet routine of an afternoon in the small café in Turin, I focused on cleaning the cups and glasses.

The atmosphere here was always enveloped in a calm aura, so different from the chaos of daily life. The café, furnished with simplicity and charm, exuded a welcoming atmosphere. Wooden tables were neatly arranged, with comfortable chairs framing the central area. The walls were adorned with paintings by local artists, creating a lively and artistic ambiance.

"Hey, y/n," I turned at the sound of the voice and noticed Mrs. Rossi, my boss, emerging from the kitchen with a gentle yet concerned expression.

With a friendly smile, I approached. "Is everything okay, Mrs. Rossi?"

"Yes, everything's fine. You can call me Maria, you know that, right?" she replied with a sigh. "I have to go for an unexpected medical check-up. Will you be able to close the café tonight?"

"Of course, no problem," I assured, trying to reassure her. "I'll take care of everything. Have a good check-up." Mrs. Rossi smiled at me. "Thank you, Y/n. If you need anything, call me. Goodbye!" she said, putting on her jacket and leaving the premises.

With a wave goodbye, Mrs. Rossi left, leaving me alone in the small yet cozy café.

The sweet melody of Leave Me Lonely by Ariana Grande filled the air of the café through the speakers. "Dangerous love, you're no good for me, darling," I sang with a smile, feeling captivated by the music as I grabbed the coffee capsules for the machine.

I moved my hips slightly, letting the song's rhythm envelop me.

The tinkling of the bell at the entrance made me look up. "Welcome to Caffetteria Rossi! How can I assist you?" I murmured with a warm expression.

My eyes gazed with curiosity at the girl who looked around cautiously and with interest. She wore a huge black cloak, sunglasses, an elegant hat, and a scarf that wrapped around her neck.

I blinked in confusion, considering that the weather in Turin wasn't as cold as her attire might suggest. Perhaps she came from a much colder place, I thought, or she simply loved the mysterious and incognito style.

"Do you speak English?" the girl asked with curiosity, her voice muffled by the scarf.

"Uhm, yeah," I replied, confused.

I glanced around and realized I hadn't put on the shop's apron yet. I turned and took it, tying it around my waist.

"Of course. What can I get you?" I asked absentmindedly, still facing away.

"Uhm... a macchiato, please," she smiled. I realized her voice was clearer now, probably because she had removed the scarf.

A smile crept on my lips at the peculiar pronunciation of macchiato but of course, I wouldn't judge. I focused on the coffee machine, carefully starting to prepare her order. The reassuring sound of capsules entering the machine filled the air as I worked.

The girl approached the counter, pushing her sunglasses slightly down, revealing a lively and curious gaze. "Mi scuso per il mio italiano, è... non è molto buono" she said with a slightly embarrassed expression. She removed her sunglasses, placing them on top of her head.

"Don't worry, you..." I stopped abruptly, surprised, seeing her brown eyes clearly. Penetrating coffee-colored eyes, a delightful smile, and several freckles around her nose.

"You're doing fine," I replied timidly, almost embarrassed and excited by her presence.

What was Jenna Ortega doing in our café?

Jenna seemed slightly tense, as if she feared the worst, even having to escape if recognized. The atmosphere suddenly became more intense, and I could sense her nervousness. "You... do you know who I am, right?" she murmured with a disheartened tone.

I gave a slight side smile, nodding.

"Don't worry, I'm not like the other fans," I said, smiling.

I picked up the coffee cup and offered it to Jenna. "What are you trying to say?" Jenna asked curiously, looking at me seriously.

In the meantime, Jenna had taken off her coat, placing it over the armrest of a chair.

"I respect your privacy... oh god... I adore you, you're amazing and beautiful..." I confessed, my cheeks reddening. "But I can't imagine how it feels to be recognized by everyone," I murmured absentmindedly.

Jenna seemed taken aback by a sweet surprise, as if those unexpected words had positively impacted her. "Thank you, really," she replied with a sincere smile.

"And you're right, it can be a bit overwhelming. But meeting genuine people like you makes it all more enjoyable." Jenna tilted her head to the side, reading my name tag, smiling playfully "y/n..." she whispered softly "y/n, you're beautiful too," she said in a light tone.

I felt myself blush immediately, caught off guard. Jenna had joked about me calling her beautiful, and now the compliment directed at me made me feel a mix of embarrassment and gratitude. "Thank you," I replied shyly, with a timid smile.

Jenna gracefully took the coffee cup, thanking me again with a warm look. Then, with elegance, those coffee-colored eyes were now free to survey the world around, revealing a depth and intensity that captured my attention.

"Can I ask you something?" Jenna asked kindly, sipping her coffee.

"Of course," I replied, intrigued by her interest.

"Tell me about this café? It has such a welcoming atmosphere, it seems like a special place."

"Sure," I said with a smile, beginning to tell the story of the café.

"This little oasis was born many years ago, founded by a couple passionate about coffee and art. They wanted to create a place where people could escape from their daily routine, enjoying great coffee in a cozy and stimulating atmosphere." Jenna listened attentively, interested in the narrative.

"And the tradition continued over time," I continued, "maintaining the authentic and friendly atmosphere that is the heart of this place. Now it's a beloved spot for many, not only for the coffee but also for the sense of community that is felt here."

As I spoke, I noticed Jenna was fascinated by the story of the café. It was nice to share a piece of that magic with her, who had brought a bit of light and curiosity to that quiet working day.

"And what are you doing in Turin? It doesn't seem like the kind of place someone like you would want to visit," I murmured curiously, leaning on the table.

"Someone like me?" Jenna finished her coffee and gently placed it on the counter. "Sorry, but Turin doesn't seem like your kind of place," I confessed, picking up the cup and placing it in the sink.

"I have an interview, and we'll probably be around here for the new season of Wednesday. Tim fell in love with this city after seeing the exhibition dedicated to him months ago," she confessed, and I smiled at her honesty.

"I loved that series," I admitted quickly. "The way you act is impressive, you can tell you love your job," I nervously bit my lower lip. "But personally, I also loved Scream... Tara is so mysterious... I swear I thought she was the ghostface" I chuckle "then the scream you make... wow!" I murmured absentmindedly.

"Thank you..." she chuckled softly.

"Do you want something else? A brioche?" I asked gently, and she nodded slowly.

"Cream, chocolate... pistachio, or plain?" I asked with a small smile on my lips.

"I prefer cream," she murmured lightly.

Jenna looked around curiously, and I couldn't ignore her beauty. Her dark and silky hair fell gracefully on her shoulders.

Her face had delicate features and penetrating coffee-colored eyes that expressed vivacity and determination. Her smile was radiant, illuminating the entire café. The thin lips added grace to her face. Jenna exuded elegance in every gesture and movement.

"Can we take a picture? I swear I won't post it," I asked nervously.

Jenna chuckled, "It doesn't matter, you can post it if you want," she said with a smile.

"Sorry... after, I'll give you the brioche, but I really want this photo," I admitted, picking up my phone from the counter.

I walked around and approached Jenna, smiling at the height difference. Jenna stood next to me, and we both smiled at the camera.

Jenna's arm gently wrapped around my waist, and I shivered at her touch. Her scent, a mix of fresh and light notes, filled my nostrils as I tried to maintain my nervous smile for the photo.

My heart was racing, almost deafening, feeling Jenna's breath against my cheek. The moment seemed suspended, an eternity compressed into that simple instant.

I looked at the camera, trying to focus on the shot, but it was difficult to ignore Jenna's proximity. It was as if everything else faded away, leaving space only for the two of us in that small fragment of time.

And then, the click of the camera broke the spell. It was over, but that brief moment would remain etched in my memory, like a pure and authentic emotion. I smiled in satisfaction and quickly went back behind the counter, wanting to fulfill Jenna's request.

"Here..." I handed her the brioche, and Jenna smiled sincerely.

"How old are you?" she asked with curiosity, taking a bite of her brioche.

"20," I replied, taken aback.

Jenna nodded, listening with interest. It was pleasant to converse with her, as if there was a natural harmony between us, despite the obvious differences in our life paths.

Shortly after, Jenna's phone chimed, announcing an incoming call. She pulled the phone out of her bag and checked the screen.

"Sorry, I have to take this, it's my agent," she said, slightly rising from the stool.

"Go ahead," I replied, smiling understandingly.

Jenna moved slightly away from the counter, answering the call with a professional yet polite tone. I could perceive her determination in the way she spoke with her agent. Despite the distance, I could catch snippets of the conversation, discussing work commitments and future projects.

As I waited, I looked at the paintings on the walls, letting the café's music lull me into a quiet serenity.

"Sorry, but I have to go," Jenna murmured with a clearly disappointed expression. "The brioche is excellent," she confessed, and I smiled gently.

"How much do I owe you?" she murmured softly, flustered. "It's on the house," I confessed, and Jenna gave me a huge smile.

"Thanks" She quickly says

"No worries, have a good day," I replied, feeling a hint of sadness.

Jenna picked up her coat and put it on, putting on her sunglasses. "It was a pleasure to meet you, y/n," she confessed as she put on her scarf.

"The pleasure was mine," I murmured with a small smile.

"See you soon," Jenna said, opening the door and turning in my direction with a smile.

I didn't reply and watched as she left the café, glancing at the sign with curiosity. Jenna approached the street and raised her hand, catching the attention of a black SUV that had come to pick her up.

I sighed, looking at the clock and realizing that I would soon have to close the café.

"Yes, it's time to go home," I murmured, allowing a wave of nostalgia to wash over me.

I approached the door and hung the "We're closed" sign with a sigh of satisfaction. Next, I dedicated myself to arranging a few things in the café, sweeping the floor and cleaning the cup Jenna had used. It was a way to bring order and close a day that had turned out to be much more interesting than expected.

I sighed audibly, letting the weariness and excitement of the day blend inside me.

A notification on my phone caught my attention, and I approached the counter with slow steps. I picked it up and widened my eyes seeing two notifications on Instagram:

Jennaortega started following caffetteria_Rossi.

Jennaortega started following you.

#jenna ortega x reader #wednesday addams x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x fem!reader #wednesday addams x you #wednesday x you #miércoles addams #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega smut

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lucy90712 · 4 months ago

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can u pls pls pls write a fluff about reader congratulating pedri for being one of the team captain it would be so cute

A/n: this is short I'm sorry I just couldn't think of what else to write

"We get to vote for the captains of the team tomorrow and I don't know who to vote for" Pedri said flopping down on the bed beside me

"You just have to vote for whoever you think will be the best for the team like who will encourage everyone on the pitch during a tough match and who will calm things down when things get heated those are the people you want the be captains" I said

"This is why I always come to you for things like this you always know the best answer to give" he said kissing my cheek

"This one wasn't too difficult I just thought about what you would be like as the captain as I think you have the qualities to be a great captain" I said completely honestly

"Thank you amor I don't think I'll be one of the captains though the other guys have a lot more experience than I do" he said

"I know but one day you'll make a great captain and I'll be your biggest supporter" I said

~~~~~~~~~~

After the team all voted for their captains I asked Pedri who he voted for which was no surprise then I asked when they find out and he said he didn't know and he hasn't told me since. I thought they would try and get it done before the start of the season but since the first game has already happened I guess not.

The first home game is coming up this weekend which is the first game I'm going to this year which I'm really excited about. Pedri finally gave me one of his shirts so I have something to wear to the game now all that's missing is just knowing if Pedri is one of the captains. I know there are more experienced players on the team who would probably be voted in over Pedri but I really do think he has the right qualities to be a great captain even if he's young and less experienced now over the next few years he's going to make an excellent captain.

I finished work early today as my boss let us leave after we finished a big project we've been working on for the last few months so I made it home before Pedri. Most of the time he's home before me and he'll start prepping things for dinner then we'll cook together but today the prep is my job as I'm home first. I actually don't mind prepping things I find it quite therapeutic as I can put music on and just be in my own world. Today I was so in my own world that I didn't hear Pedri's car pull into the driveway nor did I hear him enter the house. He then scared the shit out of me when he put his arms around my waist in fact he's lucky I didn't have a knife in my hand or else things could've gone badly.

Once I my soul re-entered my body I turned around to face Pedri who was trying not to laugh at how much he'd scared me instead of asking if I was ok. For some reason he was wearing the new home kit so I assumed the team had a photoshoot or something. Then I noticed that he had something on his arm like a yellow and red band which confused me as I don't remember the shirt having that on it. That's when my brain started working properly and realised he had a captains armband and he's actually going to be a captain this year. Seeing that just filled me me excitement and pride, Pedri has been a barca fan since he was a kid so getting to be one of their captains is a huge achievement and that just makes me so proud of him.

I must've been staring at his arm for a bit too long as Pedri laughing brought me back to reality and I threw my arms around him. He picked me up which allowed me to hug him tighter and I could kiss him all over his face as that's my way of showing him my excitement. The smile on his face told me everything I needed to know about how much this meant to him to even be considered worthy enough of the title. He put me down on the counter and I just admired the sight of him with his captains armband which looks so good on him.

"I can't believe you're a captain now I knew you had the right qualities and your teammates clearly agree" I said

"It really feels great that the guys think I'm worthy of the armband although I probably won't play with it much it still means a lot" he said

"Whether you play with the armband or not you are still a captain and you can motivate the team anytime you are on the pitch" I said

"When did you find out?" I asked

"Like last week the day we all voted we found out then" he said

"And you hid it from me" I exclaimed

"I'm sorry I thought it would be more fun to tell you when I had the armband as you believed in me being worth if this position more than I did" he said

"I suppose I can forgive you mi capitán" I said

"I could get used to that nickname" he smirked

"Good because that's all I'm going to call you now" I smiled

He leaned in and kissed my lips belfry he moved and let me off the counter so we could actually make dinner. I wanted to celebrate Pedri's captaincy so as we cooked we planned a special date night for his day off training as we like to do that to celebrate big achievements in our life and this is definitely one of them.

#pedri x reader #pedri imagine #pedri #football imagine

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tpwk-formula1 · 23 hours ago

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2K event

I was looking at my blog for the first time in months in I noticed today that I am less than 300 followers away from hitting 2k and when I do hit it I will be doing an event to celebrate since I didn't for hitting 1K which was my original plan but I hit it so fast I had no time to prepare.

I have made a list of 15 fics I want to do but I need you guys to pick which driver you want to see! Just message me with which driver you want to see for a specific story! Once a fic has been claimed I will update this page! It will be first come first serve.

Some of these might even become a universe here at Lee-Lee's so if you end up falling in love with a story send in requests for it to keep it alive!

Masterlist (Will link once every AU has been claimed)

Side Note: I am trying to keep this as diverse as possible so I will more than likely not be using the same driver more than once (other than our Wag x Driver x Reader threesome)

Prompts for event

Porn star! Carlos X innocent! reader (Claimed)

Y/N is the innocent college student who secretly pays for a subscription on a porn sight to watch her favorite actor. When she finally starts using all the features her subscription has to offer she starts to build a little relationship with the man behind the screen.

Kinks involved - innocent kink, phone/ facetime sex, virginity loss, long-term edging, corruption, first orgasm

Tattoo artist! Lewis X piercer! reader (claimed)

Y/N is the new piercer her boss can't seem to take his eyes off of. What happens when he gets the bright idea of having reader give him a Jacob's ladder piercing. It becomes the start of their unprofessional relationship inside and outside the walls of his shop.

Kinks involved - body modifications (piercings and tattoos), oral (HUGE oral kink), forced orgasms, pleasure dom

Virgin! Oscar X PR manager! Reader (claimed)

Y/N has watched the way her driver interacts with fans and can't help but slightly fall in love with him, but what happens when she finds out he's spent his whole life working towards his career that he has never had a girlfriend or sex for that matter. She makes it her mission to corrupt and tease the driver until she gets what she wants.

Kinks involved - CORRUPTION KINK, sub! driver, loss of virginity

Charles X Pay for Sex! reader (claimed)

When Y/N gets a hefty payment to spend an entire weekend in Monaco fully paid for she's shocked to find a F1 driver on the other side of the door. She spends the weekend being his sex slave.

Kinks involved - sex slave, FREE USE

Pierre x Max X Reader (Claimed)

When Y/N brings up the idea of spicing up their sex life she's shocked to find her boyfriend brings up the idea of being with one of the other drivers on the grid. She's even more shocked when they make it back to his place to find a full furnished and decorated sex room.

Kinks involved - threesome, toys, bondage, edging, multiple orgasms

Driver X WAG X reader (Claimed - Voting in progress)

When Y/N and her WAG bestie start a low-key affair behind her best friend's back their shocked when her boy friend finds out and instead of him being upset is only rule is he gets to join sometimes.

Kinks involved - CHEATING (not a kink but a TW), threesome, wlw

Oscar X Bookworm! Reader (claimed)

When her boyfriend over hears her on the phone talking about how hot some of the scenes in her book are and how she wishes she was getting fucked like that her boyfriend can't help himself the next time she's reading.

Kinks involved - rough sex, oral

Frat boy! driver X Sorority president! reader (this is an AU) (Claimed - Voting in progress)

Y/N and the president of her brother fraternity have been close since their first year joining the sorority and over the years they've had their moments but nothing to crazy, but after one drunk night that all changes.

Kinks involved - drunk/ high sex

Retired! driver x Young! driver (please pick a now retired driver) (Claimed - Voting in progress)

Y/N has always been a huge fan of (driver) and when he becomes her mentor her rookie season some questionable training builds between the two. Her reward and punishment system would have almost anyone else clutching their pearls but for Y/N it works.

Kinks involved - Dom/Sub, spanking, edging, multiple orgasms

Gabriel X Older! Reader (claimed)

Being Lando Norris's twin sister made for the most interesting childhood and now she's grown and working for Mclaren, but what happens when she catches the eye of one of the rookies.

Kinks involved - Quickies, sneaking around, caught in the act

Single Dad! Driver X Nanny! reader

When the newly divorced dad needs to have a full time live in nanny he goes on a long search to find the perfect person to take care of his twins.

Kinks involved - Age gap, low-key slow burn (Lots of plot with lots of porn)

CEO! Toto X Assistant! Reader (claimed)

Y/N is the new assistant to the rich and powerful CEO of Mercedes Racing. She's young but she knows how to do her job damn good. Her boss can't help but slightly fall in love with her.

Kinks involved - SOFTER SEX! Age gap, oral, breeding kink (LIKE HEAVY)

Nico X ? (vote here)

Daniel X (surprise) (I will announce this one once the materlist is created)

For the final fic it will be from my Paddock Bunny universe! It will be the whole grid x Y/N Brown! For this one send me in ideas or scenes you would want to see!

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blasphemousclaw · 6 months ago

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ok I think I’ve played enough of the dlc where I feel like I can talk about it now and lift my spoilers embargo… overall I had SO much fun!! there’s so much to love about it and only a few things I didn’t like! more detailed thoughts under the cut:

Gameplay-wise, I thought almost every single boss was fun and rewarding to fight… my faves were Divine Beast Dancing Lion (best ost in the entire game by miles), Rellana, and Messmer. I also really loved the exploration?? My favorite kind of games are the ones where you have to sniff out every corner of the map in order to find hidden paths forward… the fact that you have to really poke around to find huge areas of the map, and how the traversal is so layered and non-linear, was THRILLING to me!! so much more interesting than the base game!!

Story-wise, what spoke to me the most was everything about the Hornsent… Belurat was my first legacy dungeon, and I was so wowed by the gorgeous unique architecture and the sheer desolation of the place that it really stayed with me. Both the environment and the Hornsent NPCs do such a great job of conveying the pain and tragedy of what happened to them, while at the same time, not simplifying them into some kind of faultless utopia… their society was proud and harsh and cruel (not just to others, but to their own people), but it was also bursting with art and culture, and it was home to everyday people who made delicious stew for their loved ones:

“Scorpion simmered in a black soup. Traditional meal of the hornsent. Once made with love by a certain elderly woman for the family table. Having long gone cold, this soup gives off a rank, sour smell.”

Some of my very favorite NPCS were the Hornsent Grandam and Hornsent (the guy); I thought their quests told such poignant stories about loss and the meaning of justice and revenge (I especially think Hornsent’s quest complements Marika’s story so well!!). The way they portrayed this civilization’s downfall was so beautiful and tragic!

Also the fact that the NPCs talk during combat is SO GOOD??? At first I was kind of annoyed that I had to summon Hornsent for Messmer’s boss fight to do his quest, but in the end I was so glad I did because his dialogue during and after the fight is incredible!! plus the NPCs talking to EACH OTHER during the Leda invasions?? and need I mention IGON… this is the real best new addition they made to the game

Now for the one big fat thing I didn’t like….

so I had actually heard about the leaks before playing the game and was like ok. if this is true theyre gonna have to really justify this to me because my initial impression is uhhh. lol??? And now that I can confidently say that I’ve combed the game top to bottom for pieces of this story, I really dont think the game succeeds at justifying Radahn’s appearance?

What I mean by “justify” is that, in my opinion, if you’re gonna bring back a fan-favorite character who was previously dead, and not have it come off as cheap fanservice, it needs to feel like this character’s presence matters — that they have the necessary buildup, that their appearance has a significant weight to it, and that their screentime fleshes them out as a person in a meaningful way. I don’t think the dlc achieves this at all with Radahn. Yes, his appearance is directly foreshadowed if you do Freyja and Ansbach’s quests, but it isn’t enough to just state in advance that he’ll show up… my problem is that, even with these NPCs’ dialogue, Radahn feels like a total non-person. We hear almost nothing about what his thoughts or feelings about this situation might’ve been (just Freyja’s assertion that he would have approved of “endless war, to invigorate the soul”). We get plenty of insight into Miquella’s character because there’s so much material about him, but there just isn’t the same investment into Radahn’s character, which makes his triumphant return fall really flat for me.

I think for me what would’ve appropriately justified Radahn returning is if Freyja gave us more details about who Radahn was as a commander during the Shattering… like, some jumping-off point to really get a sense of what his motivations might’ve been… OR, they could’ve even added another Redmane NPC with views on Radahn that conflict with Freyja’s (there is literally a minor boss, the Red Bear, who was stated to have been a Redmane!!!)… what’s still a mystery is why Malenia tried to kill Radahn, and why he resisted, and the DLC doesn’t give us any concrete information about Radahn’s actions or goals during the Shattering that would have caused this. They don’t have to spell it out for us!! I just needed SOME attempt to engage with Radahn’s character in the DLC material if they’re literally gonna bring him back from the dead!! Because as it stands, he shows up and fights us without a word or even an expression, like a glorified action figure!!! it’s LAME!!!!!

totally loved the DLC except for that part. anyway stan Elder Inquisitor Jori

#shadow of the erdtree spoilers #<- still gonna tag spoilers but I don’t care about seeing spoiler content myself anymore

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novaawayne · 1 year ago

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I love my fans but I love more || Izuku Midoriya

pairing: pro hero! Izuku Midoriya x fem assistant! reader

summary: Izuku loves his fans but he loves you even more even if you haven't realized it yet

warnings: NSFW. Riding. Soft dom! Izuku. Pet names (bunny). Assistant x boss. Bad grammar. One bed. Fluff. A little angst(? maybe. Izuku is the sweetest men in word <3

wc: +5.4K

a/n. english is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes.

masterlist

Izuku was always very nice to his fans. Being the number one hero, he had an image to maintain but it never bothered him. He always had time for a photo or an autograph when someone asked him for it.

However, it was complete chaos when Izuku had an event out of town and had to stay at a hotel. Social media was always following him everywhere and there were some pretty crazy fans following Izuku's every step and quickly finding out which hotel he would be staying at.

It was so that as soon as he got out of the car, he already had a crowd around him waiting to get a photo or an autograph from their favorite hero. It was even enough for them that Izuku looked at them for a couple of seconds.

He didn't need bodyguards, he was a hero, so he didn't really need anyone to protect him unless the event they were attending assigned some.

But this was where your work came in. You were Izuku's personal assistant and you had a pretty tight schedule to keep up with. You understood that it was important to maintain an image for Izuku, so you allowed him to stay for a few minutes but if people kept stopping him with every step he took, it was you who kindly intervened, mentioning that Izuku still had things to do and they could see him another time. Maybe at the event the next day, where he would even answer a few questions.

That particular night, it had been a heavy day and a rather long and tedious flight to your destination. So it was obvious that Izuku was exhausted and needed a good eight hours of sleep from him to stay fresh for the next day.

Unfortunately, when the car stopped in front of the hotel, they saw the crowd of Izuku's fans waiting for him. The green haired boy tried to show a huge smile but it was obvious that he was really exhausted.

The only "bad" thing about the intense fans was when they harassed the poor guy. Some girls would very blatantly come on to him or reach out to touch him in inappropriate parts. A few others gave her their panties or bras. Izuku always blushed at that but in the end he accepted it somehow.

You didn't really care that Izuku had a fun night with any girl he wanted, the problem was when those girls wanted to take advantage of it. They would upload indecent photos to their social media to get more followers or blackmail Izuku to get something in return. There were few girls who really enjoyed that night and left to continue with their lives.

You gave your boss a smile and he responded in kind. So you opened the door and went out first, Izuku came out right behind you and the crowd rushed at you.

You tried to keep everyone at a fair distance and it more or less worked. But there were really a lot of people around him. You looked at your watch, you would allow it to be there for five minutes and then you would drag it if necessary.

Also, Izuku was one of the people who found it difficult to say 'no' and that night was no exception. He was really tired but still he showed a huge smile as he signed some autographs and took photos with some other people.

You made sure that everything was kept in order. You looked at your watch again, ten minutes had passed and you decided that it was enough.

"Sorry guys. Izuku has to go now but tomorrow you can see him again" you raised your voice and everyone seemed to understand.

Izuku gave you a grateful look and they both went into the hotel, where the security guard didn't allow anyone who wasn't staying to enter.

The green haired man sighed tiredly.

“Go sit while I order the rooms”

"Okay, thanks"

The man dragged his feet into the waiting room and you went to the counter, where a man was looking at his computer.

"Hello" you greeted kindly.

The man took his eyes off the computer and gave you a friendly smile.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"I have a reservation"

He looked back at the computer as he asked, “whose name is the reservation in?”

“L/N” you answered. You always said your name for Izuku's safety.

The man checked his computer.

"Oh yes" he smiled and looked at you again "a double room, is that correct?"

You frowned at him and pulled out your tablet.

"No, actually I made the reservation for two single rooms" you spoke while looking for your reservation record.

That man also looked a bit confused as he went back to check his computer.

"I'm sorry lady. Here I only have the record of a matrimonial room”

You found your record, where it actually said that you had booked two single rooms. You showed the man the tablet and he soon looked embarrassed.

"Is right. I'll call my manager to find out what happened."

"Yes, thanks"

The man left after giving you back your tablet. You started to hit the wood with your fingers and looked at Izuku who was falling asleep on the couch. Maybe you could give the room to Izuku and you would manage otherwise, besides you could just rent an extra room and the problem would be solved, but you were worried that that man seemed very concerned about that mistake. The most important thing to you was Izuku's safety and comfort.

The man from earlier returned to a smaller, chubby man with a large mustache.

"Hello Miss. My employee told me that there was an error with your reservation”

You nodded.

"Yes. But it doesn't matter, I just want one more room”

Both men looked at each other.

"I'm sorry, but due to the hero event starting tomorrow, we don't have any more rooms available," he explained.

You looked at him worried and a little annoyed. It was they who made the mistake not you.

"Not a room? It doesn't matter if it's the most expensive or the cheapest”.

The first man who answered you looked at his computer but quickly denied it.

"Very sorry. We can give you a fifty percent discount coupon for your next visit”

“I don't need a coupon” You didn't want to sound upset, but you were. You felt tired and Izuku had to go to sleep immediately. "I want a room. I wasn't the one who made the mistake."

“I understand and I really apologize. In addition to the coupon, your room service will be free”

Before you could answer, Izuku was already behind you.

"Everything is alright?" he asked you, he sounded a little sleepy.

"Not really. There was an error with the reservation and they will only give us one room instead of two”

"Oh..." was all he said but he cleared his throat "well... we can share"

You didn't want to upset him. Much less when Izuku had such an important event the next day. But it was already late and you were too tired to go looking for another hotel with available rooms. Which was very complicated due to the event.

"Good" you gave up.

You finished arranging the documents with the manager and he handed you the key card. You and Izuku headed for the elevator but before you could get in, a girl approached him. She looked very shy as she kept her gaze downcast and her cheeks were an intense red color. She was wearing a pastel pink skirt that was too short for her along with a white top.

Izuku gave you an all-okay look so you stayed a bit away while they talked. You didn't hear his words, but you did catch how your boss's neck turned red. You were already getting an idea of the conversation they were having and you felt a little uncomfortable.

It was obvious that Izuku might need to relax somehow and might want to sleep with a girl.

That girl gave him a gift bag, Izuku took it curiously but as soon as she saw its contents, even her ears turned red. They were probably panties. Those were the gifts they gave him most frequently.

You sighed tired. It was your cue to give them their space. You approached them carefully, getting their attention.

"Deku, sorry to interrupt" you cleared your throat and handed him the room access card. He took it without understanding why you were giving it to him “I just called the hotel that is two blocks from here and they have a free room. I'll go there and we can meet here first thing tomorrow morning in the lobby."

That girl got closer to Izuku, clinging to the man's shirt.

The green-haired man looks at you, trying to reflect on your words, but he wasn't able to say anything because the mysterious and pretty girl is already taking him to the elevator. You raise your hand in farewell as they leave.

You sigh tired and return to the lobby to take a seat on one of the sofas and take your laptop out of your small suitcase that you carried hanging from your shoulder to work for a while. You can't sleep there, but they won't kick you out if you're just working. Also, the guy behind the counter is still engrossed behind his computer and hasn't told you anything about not being there.

However, it's not like you could do much. Your work was complete because you never liked to leave anything to the last minute.

You stared at the screen, deciding to review for the millionth time the schedule of the next day's event. Maybe you can have a coffee along with a power drink in the morning and you will be as good as new. You would only have to take a bath and change your clothes but it is something that you would fix when the time comes.

You read the document but you had barely reached the second page when you heard the elevator doors open revealing a very tired Izuku.

They both looked at each other for a fraction of a second. Izuku hurried over and before you could react, the man had taken your laptop shut along with your suitcase and slung it over his shoulder.

"Come on, we have to rest" he said simply.

You had to run after him to the elevator without being quite sure what had happened. Once inside the metallic box, you looked at Izuku.

“Ummmm,” you stammered, “I…thought you might want some alone time with that girl.”

He looked at you with some curiosity.

"Why would you believe that?" He was genuinely curious.

You shrugged.

“It has been a stressful week, especially today. I thought…” your cheeks started to feel hot “that maybe… you would want… you know. Spend the night with someone” you muttered the last part.

You didn't dare look at him after saying that. It was a bit embarrassing. Furthermore, you had perfectly concealed your feelings towards the man. You had fallen in love with him a long time ago but you were only his assistant and he could be with beautiful models or whoever he wanted. Why would you be?

Izuku placed a hand on your head gently and shook your hair.

"Not really," he said at last. Still, you didn't dare to look at him “I just want to sleep and I'm sure you need rest too. You've done so much lately that I even feel a little guilty."

You quickly denied. He never bothered you about your work, in fact you were happy to do anything he asked of you.

"I'm fine" you assured and looked at him for the first time. Izuku noticed the decision in your eyes "I just want everything to be perfect for tomorrow and your well-being is more important to me"

The doors opened and Izuku placed a hand to stop them from closing as you walked out.

They walked down the hall and stopped in front of the door that had the number 37 on it. Izuku took out the access card and opened it. Once again, he let you go first. You immediately noticed the lights on and Izuku's suitcase on the floor.

It was quite a small room. Upon entering, there was a small corridor, to the right, in the middle of that corridor there was a door that took you to a bathroom with a shower. Further on, at the end of the small hallway, you found the double bed that took up most of the space. Opposite the bed was a chest of drawers and on the wall was a screen. In one corner was a small glass table along with two small chairs. On each side of the bed, there were two nightstands with a lamp on each. And that was it. There wasn't even much sleeping space on the floor.

Izuku carefully placed your suitcase on the floor and the laptop on the glass table.

"If you don't mind, I'll use the bathroom and then you can use it," he said.

"Oh sure. Take all the time you need".

You saw him look for something in his suitcase and then he went into the bathroom that they had passed. You sighed heavily when you heard the door close. At least the bed was big enough and they could put a barrier in the middle to avoid any awkward situation.

You took care of that before Izuku came out. You placed the pillows in the middle, leaving a little more room on your boss's side since he was bigger than you and he needed a little more space. You also pulled out an extra sheet that was stored in the dresser and reinforced the little barrier.

Proud of your work, you headed to your small suitcase to get out of your pajamas and wait for Izuku to come out.

The man came out almost immediately and was a bit puzzled to see the large divider on the bed.

“Is it okay to sleep on the left side?” You asked while looking at him.

You almost felt your heart jump out of your chest. You've seen your boss in every way there is. In his hero suit, in a suit, in his normal clothes, even in a bathing suit for some photo shoot. But this time... seeing him in his pajamas and in such an intimate situation... was strange. He wore a white shirt that fitted perfectly to his body like a second skin, making every one of his muscles stand out. His sweatpants hugged his hips perfectly even though they were dangerously low, leaving little to the imagination where a small bulge would show. He probably wasn't that little but you didn't want to think about it too much.

You stopped navigating your dirty thoughts when he spoke.

"Oh… sure" he mumbled and sat on the edge of the bed "but you used all the pillows and I really would love to have at least one under my head" it wasn't a complaint, in fact his tone was amused but for a second you had forgotten that little detail, more focused on establishing a division.

“Oh… you're right” you cleared your throat “take the pillows you want and you can keep the extra sheet as a divider. Now I'll take the bath."

You didn't wait for an answer and you ran away with all your things.

Your visit to the bathroom was quick. It was quite a nice and spacious bathroom but you didn't admire it too much. You washed your face and brushed your teeth before changing clothes. Fifteen minutes later, you had emerged from the bathroom in shorts and a rather skinny tank top. It was very hot even at night, so you wanted something light to sleep in but you never imagined that you would sleep in the same room as your boss.

Izuku had already settled on his side of the bed but he was leaning against the headboard looking at his cell phone. He turned to look at you when he heard you close the bathroom door and his cheeks began to turn a deep red as he watched you.

He chose not to say anything as he urgently looked at his cell phone but now his brain had a tattoo of you in tiny pajamas. And not only that. You would sleep next to him dressed like that.

You turned off the lights and settled on your side of the bed. The lights on the table lamps were still on.

"Good night" you muttered as you lay on your side, turning your back to Izuku.

"Good night," he murmured in the same way.

You turned off the lamp next to you and squeezed your eyes shut to try to sleep but you couldn't. A pain spread between your legs and although you squeezed your legs a bit, the image of Izuku did not disappear from your mind. The worst thing was that you had him on one side and you couldn't do anything to ease the pain.

You heard Izuku turn off his lamp and get comfortable on the bed. Maybe you could wait for him to fall asleep and ease that pain a bit.

The minutes passed and you heard your boss's soft breathing indicating that he had fallen asleep.

"Izuku?" You murmured in the dark and when you didn't get an answer you sighed with relief.

You settled on the bed and one of your hands traveled under your shirt to one of your nipples to caress it. Your other hand went to the inside of your panties where you felt all the accumulated moisture. You quickly began rubbing your clit while biting down hard on your lip to catch any kind of sound.

The mere thought of having Izuku on your side and the possibility of him getting you, turned you on even more. You rubbed harder on your clit and twisted your nipple for more stimulation.

Your whole body burned with pleasure. you were close you just needed a little more but you felt like it wasn't enough.

A moan escaped your lips and although you didn't notice it, the sound alerted Izuku. Who widened his eyes in concern but held his ground when he heard the wet sounds you were making.

His cheeks heated up and he felt his cock start to get hard. Your breaths were heavy and you could no longer control your moans. Izuku felt a bit guilty for hearing what you were doing… but it wasn't his fault that you decided to masturbate in the middle of the night.

His hand went inside his clothing and he began stroking the length of him as he imagined what you were doing. He could just flip over and remove that stupid barrier you'd tried to put up but now there was just a sheet that was probably going to be gone in the morning.

The pre-cum began to drip and he used it to lubricate all of his cock. He traced small circles with his thumb in the slit and he had to bite down hard on his cheek to keep from gasping when he heard you moan louder.

“Izu…” he heard you groan and stopped abruptly. Did you hear right? Or was it just a hallucination? Did you find out that he woke up? “Please…” you begged. Izuku got even harder if that was possible.

He wanted you. In all possible ways. You were his cute secretary that he has been in love with for some time now. He loves to masturbate while looking at a photo of the two of you together that was taken at an event two years ago, where you were wearing a suit similar to his but yours was a mini skirt, with a top that exposed your midsection and you were wearing some pretty bunny ears. Damn, I loved that photo. That day I just wanted to bend you over the interview table to fuck you in front of everyone and show them who you belonged to. But he held back.

He respected you and admired you for the hard work you did for him. But damn, how can you not fall in love with someone as perfect as you? At least, he saw you as the most perfect being that has walked the earth.

That night, when that pretty and shy girl approached him to ask if he wanted to spend the night together, he got a little confused when he saw you handing him the room card. He knew that you knew about his small encounters with his fans, because you were the one who always ended up fixing all the problems that arose later. But it had been a while since he stopped doing that, mainly because now he had you and he didn't want to betray you in any way, even though they weren't even together. His hand and your photos had been enough for some time but lately Izuku felt like he needed more.

And now, for reasons of the universe, the hotel where they were staying had only one double room that they would have to share. It could be better?

When that girl took him to the elevator, they stopped at a random floor and he explained that he wasn't interested in her. He even returned the pretty panties she had given him in a gift bag.

That girl seemed sad, even a little upset but she went back to her room with her friends. Izuku for his part, went to the room to leave his things and go looking for you. He knew there wouldn't be any rooms available and he knew you wouldn't risk going out so late at night, so he was relieved to see you at the front desk in front of your computer.

Returning to the present.

Izuku continued to pump his cock as he listened to you moan his name like it was some kind of mantra. He loved it. You were driving him crazy.

"Ugh" you complained. Your hand was not enough.

Izuku felt a bit bold and decided to speak ignoring the possibility that things between you two might not be the same again.

"Do you need a little help, bunny?" He asked.

You froze in place. Izuku had discovered you? You noticed that you had no longer held back your moans due to the intense pleasure that consumed you.

"Bunny?" He tried again.

fuck it You needed it.

"Yes, please" you murmured.

In a second, you felt the bed move a bit and Izuku was on top of you. His intense eyes looked at you with hunger willing to make you feel good.

You lifted your hands to his cheeks and raised your head to capture his lips. Izuku accepted it immediately.

You couldn't think about your actions, not when you desperately need to relieve your arousal. For a second, you even thought it was a dream.

It was a rough and needy kiss but Izuku tried to do it a little more gently to lengthen the moment. he didn't want to wake up the next day and have you think this was a one night stand. No. He wanted to make it clear to you that he loved you much more than that.

He put a hand under your waist and turned them so that you were sitting on his waist. You looked down at him for a moment while you controlled his breathing.

"You are so beautiful" Izuku spoke in a whisper "can I touch you?"

You nodded. It was all you needed.

Izuku made himself comfortable by sitting against the headboard and bringing his hands to your waist. His calloused fingers ran over your soft, warm skin very carefully. For one of the strongest and most powerful men in the world, it was surprising how soft he was.

Slowly he raised your little tank top until it was removed from your body. There was nothing below and for a moment he was mesmerized by the sight of you. You almost get embarrassed but he didn't give you enough time because Izuku grabbed your waist again with force and leaned forward to put one of your tits in his mouth. You gasped as your back arched and your hands went to his hair.

That felt so good. You needed more from Izuku. Much more.

He did the same on both sides, licking and sucking on your nipples as if he were a hungry man. When he finished, he began to leave a trail of kisses and marks from your chest to your neck, passing through your shoulders and up your beautiful face to end on your lips.

You moved your hips and finally realized how hard Izuku was. You didn't think much of it when you reached your hands to the hem of Izuku's shirt to lift it up. You broke away from him gasping and he helped you remove the garment.

It was your turn to admire it from your place. It was beautiful. Izuku blushed a little embarrassed, thinking that maybe you would find it unpleasant to see all the scars that adorned his body. But it was not the case.

You bit your lower lip gently and took your fingers to his chest to trace one of the scars. Izuku sighed at the action. Your fingers were soft and gentle and he liked that.

You leaned in as you took his cheeks and gently kissed his lips. Izuku put his hands on your hips and his kiss began to deepen more and more.

Both had the urge to feel each other's body more and more. They parted after a moment with ragged breaths. But you quickly leaned in to kiss Izuku's neck and he couldn't help but moan when you got to that sweet spot that was driving him crazy. You started to go lower and lower and when he realized what you were going to do, he stopped you while he panted. It took a lot of courage for him not to give in to his pleasure.

"Wait" he murmured "tonight... I wish you would ride me" his cheeks were bright red "I want to feel you squeeze me"

You agreed. You would do anything to make him feel good.

The rest of both of their clothes disappeared in a second and you placed yourself on top of Izuku's cock. You gently took it in your hand and rubbed it against your wet cunt. They both groaned. Izuku squeezed your hips hard, silently asking you to end his suffering.

"Please, bunny," he stammered, "please, I need you so bad."

Seeing him below you and also hearing him beg made you reach your limit. You placed a hand on his shoulder for balance and began to slowly lower yourself. They both gasped as they tried to get used to the sensation.

Izuku was breathing heavily, probably trying with all his might not to cum right then. Your soft walls were so warm and hugged him so tightly he was about to lose his mind. He leaned forward to suck on your nipple.

You still couldn't get used to the size of him. Izuku had a really big cock and he was stretching you in a way you didn't know was possible. There was pain and pleasure combined that made your eyes sting from the tears that trickled down your cheeks.

It wasn't long before you started moving your hips. Izuku pressed his fingers more on your skin but he didn't stop licking and sucking on your nipple.

"That's it bunny" Izuku spoke as he pulled away "you feel so good. You are so beautiful"

You couldn't think. The compliments were going through your head.

You brought a hand to your clit to rub it but Izuku removed your hand and they both looked into each other's eyes for a moment.

"Let me do it" he asked "let me make you feel good"

You couldn't talk. Izuku's cock inside you was making a complete fool of you. You just nodded.

Izuku stuck two fingers inside your mouth that you filled with drool and licked like it was a delicious candy. As Izuku pulled his fingers from him, he brought them to your already sensitive clit to rub.

Your mind went blank. You could only feel the pleasure that Izuku was granting you at that moment and that was it.

Izuku kept telling you how well you were doing as he began to set the pace himself. With his great strength, you were probably lighter than a feather. You were like a rag doll to him and you just wanted him to use you however he wanted.

"Izu..." you gasped "please... I want you to cum inside me"

The very thought made Izuku almost come on the spot but he tried to hold on a little longer.

"Are you sure?" he asked you.

"Yes, yes please. I need it so much"

The pounding of skin against skin echoed throughout the room along with their gasps and moans. They were both close but Izuku wasn't going to cum until you did.

"I'm going to…"

"Yes, bunny. Cum on my dick. You make a mess"

And that you did. A loud moan escaped your lips but Izuku didn't stop his thrusts and he didn't stop screaming at your clit, causing you to be overstimulated.

"Bunny" Izuku groaned "I'm close too. Please tell me that you really want me to cum inside you."

Your walls tightened around his cock.

"Please Izuku. I want your sperm inside me" you managed to say when you started to come down from your cloud "I want it to slip between my legs even tomorrow so that the whole world can see who I belong to"

Your words drove him completely crazy and the mere image of you, with his own semen dripping from your beautiful legs made him cum instantly.

They both breathed heavily. You flopped onto Izuku's chest as he caressed your back. They were both sweaty and sticky but that didn't matter right now.

"Come on bunny" Izuku spoke softly "let me clean up this mess a bit"

You nodded, but your eyes were closed and you had no strength to move. Izuku was warm and you didn't want to be separated from him.

He smiled when he realized it and continued leaving soft caresses on your back. In the end you woke up while letting out a deep sigh and fell on the bed.

Izuku stood up to put on his underwear and ran to the bathroom. He came back with a wet towel to clean you up a bit. Immediately he took a bottle of water that was on the glass table and asked you to drink a little.

It seemed like a dream and you never wanted it to end. Izuku helped you put on his shirt so you could cover yourself up a bit and then he arranged the covers over your body. Immediately he settled on his side of the bed and looked at the ceiling for a moment before speaking.

“Can I… can I snuggle with you?” He asked you. His cheeks felt hot with embarrassment.

You let out a laugh and it was you who approached him to lie on his chest. Izuku sighed in relief and hugged you, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“Just so you know… I love my fans but I love you much more”

"I love you very much too, Izu"

He smiled. They were the only words he needed to hear.

I'm not really sure what this is but I'm practicing my smut writing a bit. I hope you liked it even a little <3

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