#made me upset like watching something so intrusive it actually feels weird like i feel like i just accidentally saw someone being pervy

[moondogss]

do you ever see a parasocial moment that is so completely unhinged that it actually upset you? because, uh yeah ive been feeling weird for like an hour

[taboo-delusion]

So, I just discovered something interesting.

This is a bit of a long one, so bear with me. It's important. Seriously.

I just woke up a few hours ago. My meds are starting to kick in. I was having a very serious and genuine, deep conversation (in-head) and it was... beautiful. It wasn't happy, but it was beautiful. Not the point.

Point is:

I had not had a single fucking intrusive thought today until someone made a noise in the other room.

I am so fucking PISSED OFF

Why my brain refuses to realize that intrusive thoughts CAUSED the good feeling to go away, I have no fucking idea. I've known that for almost a year now, yet my stupid fucking subconscious refuses to change anything it's doing

Before I snap my fucking android phone in half and yeet somebody's face into neptune, I thought I'd share the discovery!!!!

Basically:

MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DID NOT START UNTIL SOMETHING STARTLED ME OUT OF FOCUS

AS I TYPE THIS, I REALIZE THAT INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS -AT LEAST FOR ADHDERS- ARE A SURVIVAL TACTIC.

Elaborating:

When you fall asleep and your heart slows too much, your body does the falling thing to make sure you're still alive.

It's not that intrusive thoughts are *Just* because your brain gets too quiet, It's because your life has never been completely quite before, or -like me- the few times it is quiet, something interrupts. And even if it doesn't piss you off, even if you don't jump like I do, your brain still registers it as not safe.

--

Falling asleep, heart slows a lot-

Body: *Sends adrenaline just to make sure it still actually works.*

Drowning, even mostly unconscious-

Body and brain: *Hold onto that last half-breath even if it feels like you're head is going to explode.*

Going grocery shopping or talking to someone you think is cool-

Brain: *Remembers what it felt like the first time your guardian was indifferent or mean about something that made you happy or calm.*

Things around you actually get quiet-

Brain *Sends a thought you hate just to make sure you're prepared for a sudden problem.*

TDLR 1: Your brain isn't mean on purpose, It's just paranoid and still has a will to live.

Listen. I know I'm just some random dude from a weird blog. But I'm trying to translate, to assist. Maybe somebody else needs this realization as much as I do. I apologize for the yelling earlier. I'm still just as upset, but only at my dumbass subconscious. Now some time has passed, and I have regained self-control.

(I also apologize for the above paragraph, my brain nags for me to do this, but I can't remember why. So:)

I am no psychologist. Here are my qualifications (why you should listen to me):

As my friends call it- "Disturbingly self-aware at all times."

Paranoid Schizophrenic with actual (unrelated) OCD, with years of experience dealing with it- more healthily in recent years.

Philosophy and deep thinking is simply my default. I use metaphors, but everything in this post is entirely literal, ...except the angry threat. (*begrudgingly accepts disappointment*)

I am a fiction writer. I don't know about healing people/first aid, but I know a LOT about how anatomy works, with many deep-dives on the psychology/evolution side.

People irl generally consider me a genius? Idk how to gauge that, IQ tests are irrelevant with this type of... smart?. I've been compared to both Da Vinci and Einstein. So, ...actually that's pretty fuckin' cool- (I AM NOT TRYING TO BRAG! I APOLOGIZE IF IT COMES OFF THAT WAY! I've never put it all down like this, and I'm just surprised and questioning my reputation.)

(Also, I love playing detective, so naturally I call myself Batman XD.)

Autistic; I experience the world, and every situation, from a view without any context.

ADHD: My brain automatically -As a guardian I hate describes- "Can watch three different movies at the same time, all in fast forward, and can keep up with all of them." ... Well, yes, but technically no. Idk if other ADHD people do this, but my brain "connects the dots" so quickly, I end up laughing at jokes I've never heard before the 'punchline', because I've already figured out what you're going to say next.

Now combine all that. I am kicking depression's ass and now I want to help you do the same.

I have only mentioned the relevant things. Please keep in mind that ALL of these have both advantages and disasters. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I am running on four hours of sleep. For the love of whatever, I hope this actually helps someone other than me.

Qualifications are noted because: This is all stuff (and stuff like this) that I am just always casually aware of.

TLDR2: Even if I wasn't trying to help people feel better, Apparently I was born with a nat 20 perception/insight check, so please don't argue that I truly understand what I'm talking about here.

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

more fhh spoilers

FLF Continued

The third category of memory scene isn't underrated, but I haven't ranted about it in a while so. The way Orion was in that scene contrasted with quite a bit of his previous characterization. Because once Rosalind takes the antidote, he almost gets kind of awkward and isn't sure what to do when previously he hasn't been that way at all. It's not that they haven't had genuine scenes together prior to this but like. Just his realization that he's seeing a side of Rosalind that she doesn't show often. Especially when you have the context that outside of this scene she is literally physically incapable of being that vulnerable. And the amount that this almost feels intrusive to Orion because he has never been this genuine with someone is so. ahhhhhh.

Not underrated but. "He has loved me since we were children. Me. Not this Priest." The way that when you have the full context this translates to Phoebe being confused and freaked out at the prospect of Silas genuinely loving her and not just a front that she's been putting on is very ack.

Then also. Same scene but. "She could pretend to be clueless as much as she liked when Silas followed her around. She would still glance at Silas every time she made a joke to make sure he laughed. She would still check his reaction before everyone else's if she said something intentionally terrible, hoping to catch the roll of his eyes and tease him about it." This is so interesting to me because until FHH, you hear about her doing stuff like this constantly, but in her povs, you can hardly detect any emotion behind it? But in other characters' povs, particularly Rosalind's and Orion's, you can see that they can see that there is so much more to her (Rosalind sees this a bit more than Orion). And it's so interesting I want to dissect this book under a microscope.

Rosalind seeing the vial and being like ehehe weird green juice what if i drank it lol

Ok I'm going to try to keep it to stuff that's actually underrated now because I have restraint

Orion greeting Silas by saying, "Fancy seeing you here, pal."

Orion giving Phoebe his tofu pudding but telling her not to touch the second cup because it's Rosalind's

Oliver and Orion running into each other and Oliver trying to talk to Orion and Celia having to drag Oliver away because Orion keeps trying to fight him. Thanks I hate it.

Ok I am rereading the scene where Oliver and Celia break into Rosalind and Orion's apartment and oh god I misinterpreted so much I need to hug Oliver. Poor guy. And also Phoebe and Orion. Actually no I need to shake Orion like an etch a sketch.

"She thought that she had been careful in winding and unwinding the threads of her past, placing them where they needed to be, but instead they were coming alive like a python, intent on choking her with her own lies." I'm pretty sure there's a direct parallel to this in one of Phoebe's povs in fhh

Hmm I wonder how Silas driving Phoebe home from that scene where Oliver and Celia break into Rosalind and Orion's apartment was because we don't get that pov, and I'm guessing she was either really visibly upset and just,,, refused to acknowledge it. Or was just like. Disconcertingly normal.

"I've seen what love does. It's powerful. It's selfish." Ok we have not talked about how watching what happened with Roma and Juliette in TVD affected Celia I think. And oof.

Also Oliver being like. Hello. I am in love with you. . . . aNYWAY. bruh.

Also Orion was dressed in all black in that scene where Rosalind was trying on the new qipao. So he had just gotten back from being brainwashed... :/

"Any substance in large quantities can kill. Something good in large quantities will kill too."

"Just because you wouldn't hurt me doesn't mean you wouldn't hurt others. I mean nothing." Hmm Hmm Hmm interesting

Just realized that Silas is literally pulling up in his car with Phoebe during the scene where Rosalind is about to shoot Orion. That's soooooo crazy.

Phoebe being a backseat driver (passenger seat technically but still)

Phoebe and Silas clearly overhearing Rosalind and Orion's extremely alarming conversation about there mission.

Jesus Christ what is it with the Hong siblings and the dO i NeEd To PlEaD sHiT what is this the YA HotBoyTM Olympics?

Alisa and the "You were far nicer than I would've been," thing. Hm.

Phoebe getting Rosalind and Orion to dance together.

Oh god ugh the Phoebe flashback to when Orion "fell" but he looked like he had been beaten up repeatedly

"Lady Fortune, how did you come to be?"

"He brushed his thumb over her wrist again. He seemed to like doing that."

Ok but how did Phoebe get Silas to look away for long enough for her to commit several murders when they were breaking Rosalind and Orion and Alisa out?

"I've already hurt someone I love. I'm not going to risk hurting you too." Gah I think that was the last thing he said to Phoebe.

Ok but how tf did Phoebe get away from Silas after that and get to the Warehouse fast enough to act as Priest. How.

"God. Had Oliver known?"

"Another lover of mine never felt any shame when he hurt me. But all I feel coming from you is wave after wave of it."

Oh totally random but Rosalind probably sets her hair.

Ok but the way that the theme of misleading perceptions of people even extends to Lady Hong is so.

Lady Hong recognizing Silas's car is so fucking creepy I hate that.

Ugh the way that Phoebe had to watch that. And took out all those soldiers. And then her mom just popped out of nowhere. ughhhh.

I love that Oliver basically kidnapped his neighbor's cat and just seems to carry it around with him. I love him.

I want more details on the thing where everyone is like omg Oliver is so scary and has caused so many casualties. Because I'm pretty sure he only ever kills one person on page???? And it didn't seem like a super unusual occurrence for him but still? Probably the incorrect perceptions of people thing?

Oh and the way that Oliver feels responsible for everything that happened to Orion

Also it seems like Roma and Juliette knew that Orion was the killer because I think they were the source Jiemin tapped into?

Also the way that the Phoebe pov epilogue starts out with her noting how she doesn't like the way that people are looking at her with pity or suspicion now instead of her letting herself grieve for Orion because she refuses to let herself process any of it...

Also. I cannot imagine how fucking weird it was for Silas to tell Phoebe about what happened to Orion. Because like. I'm guessing that that night she got him to drop her off at home so she could follow Rosalind and Orion somehow rather than staying with Silas. Which probably looked really weird to Silas. Then Silas hears about what happened to Rosalind and Orion and probably does not take it well. Because Orion. Then he goes to tell Phoebe and she just,,, does not react. Because in her internal monologue she's like. Silas thought I was going to break. But no. I was totally calm and collected because I am fine and do not experience negative emotions ever (lying).

"With every movement, she felt her earrings swing, the pearls brushing against her skin; all her impractical accessories jangled with constant sound...." Not to read way too far into a random sentence but. This might symbolize how a lot of her personality is feigned and meant to distract people so they can't really see her.

"Phoebe smiled. It was unlike her other smiles, quiet and subdued rather than a bright grin that aimed to dazzle." If I had to pick and exact moment where you really, truly get her pov for the first time, it would be this.

TPATS

(I will never shut up about tpats so I'm giving it its own section idc.)

"'Are you being good?' Lady Hong asked... 'I'm always good,' Phoebe replied."

"At eleven years old, Phoebe was getting too tall to be carried, but she raised her arms anyway, and Lady Hong hefted her up." vs flf ch 3 "Once, his father would come home at five o'clock on the dot. Orion would run at him, and even though at nine years old he was getting too big to be picked up and swung around, his father did it anyway." (Don't mind me I'm going to go eat glass.)

Gah. The thing where Lady Hong is weirdly fixated on Orion's health and gets Phoebe to bother him about it is so so weird and I hate it.

The thing where Phoebe so so clearly just wants her family to all be happy together absolutely kills me. She wants to see everyone else happy so badly that she'll twist herself into knots to make it happen. All three of the Hong siblings are very self sacrificing in different ways and it is very not good.

I love how Phoebe is just like. Ah yes. Silas. Orion's best friend. What is he to me? Orion's best friend.

Not underrated at all but the sentence, "He had always reminded Phoebe of a teacup puppy that she could put in her purse," is absolutely everything to me.

"Silas Wu dug into his rice quietly, trying not to let his metal chopsticks clink against the side of the bowl or else the noise could be irritating for the rest of the table... Silas was already an intrusion, and he hardly wanted to draw attention to it." My brain is too finals to elaborate on this, but this says a lot about him I think.

Hmm Silas also has abandonment issues to an extent I think just in a different flavor. He doesn't like being alone very much.

Also. "Silas sometimes flipped between feeling nothing at all and feeling so angry that he would freeze up in the middle of the room, needing Orion to shake him out of it." This does not get talked about nearly enough I will be talking about this more. Autism.

*nick nelson voice* "Hi, Silas."

TPATS does such a good job of establishing how entirely genuinely in awe of Phoebe Silas is I think. And prior to FHH, I thought that he might be putting her on a pedestal and have to learn to see her as a normal flawed human but no. He's just so genuinely in awe of everything about her and it is so.

Then also Silas folding the letter he was going to send his parents asking to come home into a flower and giving it to Phoebe because he can't go home yet because she's there because he can't leave her is so painful to read

Also the contrast between Phoebe's mom calling her "little moon" and seeing her as something to "provide happiness" and just sort be the tacked on addition to Oliver and Orion (her accomplishments) but Silas comparing her to the sun and being absolutely baffled by the idea that anyone could ever leave Phoebe behind because she's Phoebe and then her still being absolutely terrified of losing him because she doesn't comprehend that anyone could ever care about her like that and him being the only person she has left in FHH even though she's actively pushing him away. Chloe why.

And the tiny details of Lady Hong smoothing Phoebe's stray hair and fixing her collar before she leaves after giving her the toy gun and encourages her to lie to people about it is very very some type of way.

And the way Orion is very clearly upset by his mom quickly saying bye to him then having a full conversation with Phoebe but still trying to take care of Phoebe and make sure she's okay. I'm giving him an honorary eldest sibling badge.

Also the mention of Phoebe dragging Silas to a bakery on her birthday reminds me of the pleasepleasepleaseplease don't make me commit breaking and entering i'll buy you pastries scene in flf

And then Phoebe's first priority getting her mom's approval with her shooting when she comes to visit again. ughhhh.

The thing where Orion knows that something changed with his parents but can't pinpoint when vs Silas being absolutely terrified of enough time passing that something will be different when he get back.....

"Maybe she had expected Silas to catch her. The thought gave Silas a strange tickle in his stomach." Chloe Gong is absolutely insane for writing all of this I cannot even brain.

Also why does Orion have a gun. And why does Phoebe know about it but not Silas. Orion. You dumbass. What are you doing.

Also I periodically rotate "co-conspirators for real this time" in my brain like a rotisserie chicken

Then also Phoebe hiding her excitement at doing well at shooting in front of her mother while also wanting nothing more than approval from her is so ughh

And Phoebe and Silas both being upset because Orion is going to leave before them and leave them all alone but Silas thinking that he should be okay because Phoebe's alone with her tutor like he will be when Orion leaves and if she's okay like that he should also be when they are both worried about the same thing.

Lady Hong clearly encouraging all of her children to exist for other people but Phoebe especially in this case is so sick I hate it.

And the way the last time Lady Hong visited them in London she didn't bother finding Orion to say goodbye

"Her mother disappeared along the path before Phoebe could wonder further, leaving her in the park clearing alone. She always ended up alone." Ok but thinking about this then "I'll get you the world if you need it." at the end of FHH. Brb gotta go drink cement.

Silas isn't good at making small talk. Wow . That's sooo crazy.

Also Silas who is an absolute genius not being able to see that in himself but seeing Phoebe as smart when very few other people see that in her is some type of way.

WHO WOULD EVER LEAVE PHOEBE BEHIND? SHE WAS MORE LIKELY TO SOAR SO HIGH THAT EVERYONE ELSE GOT LOST IN HER FRAME OF VIEW

Also the is this a blood oath because if it is you did it wrong thing? Autism.

WITH EVERY BIT OF NERVE HE HAD SILAS FINALLY FORCED HIMSELF TO LOOK UP TO LOOK RIGHT INTO PHOEBES EYE SHE TERRIFIED HIM SHE GROUNDED HIM SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN NAMED AFTER AN EPITHET OF THE SUN INSTEAD OF AN EPITHET OF THE MOON BECAUSE IT WAS INEVITABLE THAT EVERYTHING IN PHOEBE HONG'S VICINITY WOULD CIRCLE HER IN ORBIT

DO WELL TOGETHER NO ONE LEFT BEHIND

ok i'm normal again.

YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS DEPEND ON ME RIGHT FEIYI

Also the thing where Silas is like. Ah yes. I don't ever have to tell Phoebe that I love her directly because? I don't think I actually have to do that? Is very interesting because I think that that on one hand it wouldn't have mattered if he had told her sooner because she wouldn't have believed him. But also him not telling her didn't really help.

I need to inject this into my veins

FHH

I'm not really sure what's underrated yet since I haven't done a full reread I think.

Underrated scenes from each ss book

These aren't all scenes and I think the flf section just turned into a highlight reel of things i love about flf but here.

TVD

The scene where Roma picks up tiny Alisa because she was climbing inside of his walls and she's like hey don't rip my shirt it's new :( when her shirt his very obviously extremely old.

Not a scene but just the fact that the White Flower's used to have a golden retriever named Tsarina.

Idk if it's underrated exactly but that scene where Rosalind waits for Juliette in her room for three hours to tell her about the monster attack hits me like a truck every time I remember it.

"What is a Montague? It sounds Italian."

The scene where Benedikt holds Tyler at gunpoint after he threatens Marshall because he knows Marshall wouldn't have had the impulse control to not shoot

Roma beating the shit out of Dimitri

Celia coming up with her fake backstory for a Communist meeting and saying, "My mother is dead. My father is dead to me."

Juliette calling Roma a "wet blanket"

Juliette taking responsibility for Celia when she accidentally knocked Amethyst out

OVE

Juliette Cai says healthcare for all

Alisa being mad at Roma because he hasn't taught her how to catch a knife

Marshall styling Juliette's hair

Juliette making fun of newsboy cap guy

The Marshall flashback to when he met Benedikt

Roma and Juliette getting tailed by the the French White Flower guy who ends up being one of the monsters and Roma saying idk maybe he thinks I'm hotter than you when Juliette asks him why the guy looks like he wants to kill Roma

Benedikt knocking Roma out before trying to kill Juliette because holy shit

When Alisa realizes that Roma agreed to a duel to get her back

When Rosalind had Roma at gunpoint

"I would rather the two of you not burn the world down each time you choose each other."

The paragraphs where Celia starts really being Celia are just so,,,

Somehow I forgot that Alisa was already officially a Communist spy in the OVE epilogue?

fhh spoilers

FLF

Celia forcing Rosalind out of bed to go to Lourens when she wanted to die

Orion calling Dao Feng "Old Man"

Rosalind immediately making tranquilizers right when Orion moves in because she doesn't want to put up with his shit

Silas writing and publishing a fucking op-ed at 14 immediately after getting home from London (iconic)

The implication that Silas has tried to confess to Phoebe before which I call bullshit on.

Not a scene but when Orion shows back up in the morning before their first day at Seagreen, I am convinced that the red stuff on his neck was blood not lipstick.

I NEED TO KNOW IF JIEMIN'S CROSS WAS A SIGN OF ALLEGIANCE TO PRIEST?????

"Who's stealing Silas from you? You're the notorious boyfriend stealer not me." because what exactly are we implying help-

Rosalind remembering hearing Silas's parents brag about him

Phoebe "spying" on Seagreen while she has Silas wait in the car

Lao Lao instantly adopting Orion

I think a lot of the olivercelia stuff in flf is a bit underrated because a lot of us were too busy being haters for a while but the necklace knife scene!

"My little ego can always stand being snapped at by you, sweetheart."

Oliver being really really freaked out in the warehouse hit different now that we have more context ughhhh

Orion thinking that his dad might have done something to his mom. What the fuck. And also being in that house with them alone for years jesus christ

Alisa covering her walls in drawings from Benedikt

Rosalind killing Zilin

Silas taking on Orion's assignments when his headaches were really bad

The fact that Lord and Lady Hong probably knew that Oliver was onto something when Orion told Lord Hong about Oliver breaking in

The cards that Zilin had in his pocket were a spade and a diamond (spade = aroace and diamond = demi)

Rosalind and Orion's argument after the Peach Lily Palace incident

Celia being like stfu Oliver (i like telling him what to do. teehee. aNYWAY)

Ik the nation over everything quote gets talked about a lot but I think people seem to forget how pissed Celia was after he said that. Because "You're so damn selfish. Have you ever stopped to consider that I value your life just as much? If you want to protect me, don't you think that I want to protect you, too?" And then the way that Oliver is absolutely baffled by this. Ack.

Rosalind flinching when Orion pretended to kiss her forehead towards the start of flf vs her casually noting it when he actually kissed her temple midway through flf

Alisa casually having Russian classic literature at her desk despite the fact that she probably stopped receiving formal school at about 13. Slay queen.

The domestic spat. I don't think we've talked about it in a bit I'm so disappointed in us.

Alisa seeing Rosalind and Dimitri together and never saying anything about it

Silas immediately hanging up when Lord Hong picked up when he was trying to call Phoebe

Also who were Gray and Archer??? I thought they were going to be important but oh well

"She doesn't bite." "Yes, I do." like geez ok Rosalind thank you for sharing

"Phoebe walked a small circle around the hospital corridor. Silas, his eyes tracking her absently, stood with his chin propped in one palm." Yeah ok.

Then the scene after Orion sees Rosalind's scars where they're both lying on her bed together and talk for a little bit. I don't know if it's underrated exactly, but I have a very clear image of it in my mind and it is very parallely and nice I like this scene

Alisa drinking orange juice out of a coffee mug. Why? Because.

Tiny detail but Orion telling Phoebe to stop answering the phone in English because he's afraid of gossip

Phoebe immediately going DO I GET TO SEDUCE PRETTY WOMAN???? when Orion tells her he needs her help and him being absolutely exhausted by her

"You warn me for control." "I don't need your warning." I want to kiss Rosalind on the mouth.

Ok sorry but I do not interpret the scene where Orion steals the Frenchwoman's necklace as him flirting with her I think he just put on a really exaggerated twink voice because it's funnier that way

Silas knocking out a guard by holding a cloth with sedatives to his face when he and Phoebe broke Alisa out of jail.

Also just Silas trying to signal to Alisa that he's totally definitely a double agent in the process of betraying everyone because Alisa knows that he's aligned with the Communists somehow while Phoebe is Priest is so insane.

Silas fixing Phoebe's hair then Phoebe noticing that he shifted maybe half and inch away from her going hmm no that's not allowed and shifting closer to him. Especially since there's not very much emotion in her internal monologue in flf since you're not really getting her pov you're just getting a front.

"Are you keeping any other secrets from me, Janie Mead?" "One. But I don't want to tell you yet."

Orion faking a nosebleed

"His proximity was supposed to be some sort of tactic to make her flustered, she guessed, but she was only concentrating on the fact that Orion had missed a sport right by his jaw." Rosalind you absolute genius (I am so obsessed with her)

Phoebe entering Silas's house then immediately going hihihihihihi pay attention to meeeeeeeeeee without telling him that she was planning on coming over

Probably not underrated but. "Phoebe's scowl was immediate, taken aback as to who was in his bedroom, but she realized seconds later that the voice was too grainy and distant to be a visitor." Just something about Phoebe not recognizing it as her own voice and being jealous of a part of herself that she doesn't really recognize as herself is just. so. ahhhh.

aDmIrAtIoN

Not underrated but. The scene where Rosalind is like. Orion put his head on my lap to annoy me. His hair looks dumb. I am going to yoink it. To bother him. Then just. Starts playing with his hair.

A random guy selling flowers seeing a boy and a girl in a car together and thinking ah yes. customers. then fearing for his life and running away after watching phoebe yoink Silas out of his car

Phoebe conning Silas into thinking she wanted him to drive her around so she could observe architecture. Damn he is easy to trick

"'Can't I convince you to partake in a different outing instead?' Silas pleaded. 'I'll buy you cake. Or pastries? You like pastries.' 'No! We have to do this.' Phoebe separated her clasped hands, clutching at her skirts instead. 'Do you want to watch me beg?' 'pHOEBE-' 'So help me, I'll get on my knees right in the middle of the street, and then you will have to answer for my virtue-' 'Fine, fine,' Silas hurried to say, unable to withstand her theatrics. There were two red blots deepening on his cheeks." .......................ok.

Alisa purposely freaking Silas out by telling him that he has to handle the explosives. Then they end up being firecrackers she bought from a middle schooler.

Phoebe making the 🥺🥺🥺 face and Silas covering her eyes

Alisa faking a middle aged man voice

Rosalind looking at Orion and being like hmm he's really pretty it kind of looks like he's wearing mascara. Anyway.

To be continued because I'm hitting the word limit oops

[canon-transgender-virgil]

Check In (Intrulogical)

A/N: Finished this fic relatively quickly! It's a lot shorter than the Roceit one I posted earlier this week but it's still kinda a long fic lol!

Summary: Directly following the events of WTIT, Remus pops into Logan's room for what he claims is a quick chat, but that quickly grows into something more when the two actually get to talking.

Content Warnings: innuendos, swearing, intrusive thoughts, implied NS/FW (but nothing happens, dw), hurt-comfort

Logan had taken shelter in his room the moment Thomas got home from his outing with Nico. The logical side couldn’t stand to be around the other sides at the moment and he needed to sort out what was going on in his head.

The spectacled side took a deep breath and sat at his desk, staring at the wooden tabletop before slamming his fist down on it. “Fuck!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, infinitely thankful for the magic soundproofing around everyone’s rooms. What would the others think if they heard the rational, level headed (yeah right) Logic yelling expletives at random in his room?

He straightened his tie and glasses and got up, summoning a straw dummy labeled “Thomas”. He stood in front of it and glared at the doll, visibly angry, before he began ranting to it. He talked and talked, yelling at the dummy about how angry he was at being constantly ignored and pushed aside and made fun of, and if the familiar 10 notes announcing a certain Creativity’s presence hadn’t gotten his attention, he would have continued.

“My my Logan, you’ve got so much to say and no one to say it to, huh!” The moustached side raised an eyebrow, smirking at the nerd.

“...what do you want, Remus.” Logan’s words were curt, like he was trying to say just little enough to make the Dark Side leave.

“Gosh, I can’t just talk to a friend?-”

“We are not friends.”

“Ouch!” Remus pretended to be injured. “You’re so prickly, like a kinda sexy cactus! What’s up your ass today?”

Logan stopped and consulted his flashcards, hearing Remus snicker at this and trying to ignore the fact that his face was burning slightly. “Um… Ah.” He found the card he was looking for and examined it a little. “Nothing is ‘up my ass’ today, Remus. You know full well why I’m upset.”

“Uh huh, cuz I called you out on your lying ass.” He sounded irritatingly proud of that fact.

“Yes, well, you got what you wanted. Are you just here to rub it in my face?” Logan stared at Remus, though he noticeably avoided direct eye contact with the gremlin of a side.

Remus frowned. “No, actually.”

“Then you’re here to make me… feel… worse, correct?”

“Nope!” The green-sashed monster grinned.

“Then what do you possibly hope to gain from this interaction?” The blue tied Side frowned. Remus wasn’t here to bug him, or to upset him further? What reason, then, did he have to come to Logan’s room?

“It’s like I said earlier, I wanted to talk to you!”

“...what about?”

Remus shrugged. “I dunno! What do you wanna talk about?”

Logan blinked. “...excuse me?”

“Yeah! Let’s hear what you wanna talk about!” The Duke sat down on Logan’s bed and grinned up at him.

“...” The teacher was silent. “...you’re mocking me, aren’t you?”

“Huh?” Remus blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Why would I-?”

“Yes, I figured as much. Remus, I don’t have time for your games and if you’re simply going to make fun of me you can just-”

“Woah! Pump the brakes Lo, who said I was making fun of you?” The green side looked legitimately confused.

Logan crossed his arms. “Remus, statistically speaking, a total of… Zero sides share any of my interests. A total of three sides have shown aversion to or have mocked the things I consider interesting or enj- er, have a vague liking towards. Why should I believe you aren’t here to add to the latter set of data?”

“First of all, because I sat through that whole talk.” Remus joked. Seeing that Logan just rolled his eyes, he continued. “And secondly, because we also have some of the same interests! Your census of mockery only includes J-Anus, Emo Boy, Hop-Pop Patton and my dumbass brother!”

“Really? Then what are some of those shared interests, oh Duke of Imaginary Death?”

“That was terrible, one.” Remus held up his pointer finger. “And two, we both like chemistry, and poisoning, and astronomy-”

“Wait wait wait.” Logan held a hand up to silence Remus for a moment. “You… like astronomy?”

“Sure! What’s more existentially terrifying than imagining going hurtling right into the sun, or a black hole, or-” Remus’s eyes widened as he talked about the possibilities.

“Thank you, Remus.” Logic sighed. “But… why talk with… me?”

“Cuz… I kinda owe it to you? After being a dickhead all day?”

Logan blinked. “You didn’t have a phallus for a head today?-”

“Figure of speech, teach.” Remus explained curtly.

Logan ‘ah’d’ and nodded.

“And anyways… I wanted to apologize.”

That caused Logan to stop. “...you… wanted to apologize… to me?”

“Yeah, it’s weird for me too, but it’s true! I didn’t mean to make you so mad you - figuratively - blew up, I just wanted to prove a point.”

“I appreciate your use of the word figuratively Remus, and… thank you.”

“No problem!” Remus grinned and thought for a second. “So… wanna talk about forensics?”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Do I ever!-” He stopped. “Ah, uh, I mean… If you’d like to…?”

Remus giggled. “Cute! But you don’t have to hide that, not around me at least!”

“...thank you…” Logan smiled softly and the duke’s heart just about stopped.

“Uh, um… no problem Nerdy Wolverine.” Remus smiled weakly at the cute nerd.

The logical side rolled his eyes and playfully pushed Remus’s shoulder, which brought the moustached side’s attention to just how touch starved he was - a problem for another day, Mus.

“So what d'ya wanna talk about? Black lights, true crime?”

“Both interesting conversations, but… how about another topic you mentioned earlier?” Logan sounded timid, like he was scared Remus would stop listening if he dared to change the subject.

“Oh? What’d you have in mind?” The intrusive thot tilted his head at a sickening 180 degree angle, but that didn’t seem to bother Logan.

“You mentioned being fascinated by astrology as well. Would you like to talk about that?”

“Of course I would, my nerdy Astro-Boy Toy~” Remus laughed at his own nickname, to which Logan rolled his eyes again. “What about space, starlight?”

Logan’s smile grew ever so slightly, thankfully drawing Remus’s attention to that as opposed to his pink cheeks. “Well… let’s talk about constellations. You’re a storyteller of sorts, what’s your favorite constellation origin story?”

“Ooh, how fun!” Remus grinned. “Well, I personally love the story of Aquila, the king who got turned into a golden eagle messenger thing because Zeus got jealous of how much people liked him! You know, he’s the one who brought Zeus his cupbearer, Ganymede? That’s where the Aquarius constellation comes from! He was some Trojan prince, he ended up being the god of homosexual love! Historians think his name was a euphemism, since it’s a combination of the Greek words for ‘gladdening’ and ‘genitals’!”

Logan nodded and watched Remus explain the stories, smiling at how enthusiastically Remus shared the information. Remus noticed this and stopped. “Well, how ‘bout you, teach?”

“Huh?” Logan blinked, being pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Remus’s voice.

“You wanted to talk about constellations! What’s your favorite story?”

“Oh, um… I enjoy the story of Orion, the hunter who killed so many innocent creatures that Gaea sent a large scorpion to kill him and then put both of them in the stars for all eternity.”

“Huh! So that Scorpio constellation…?”

“Yes, that’s its origin story as well.” Logan smiled.

“Funny! I would never have guessed it!” That wasn’t true. Remus knew each and every constellation origin story like the back of his palm. He loved Greek mythology, but the only thing he loved more than that was seeing how Logan’s face lit up when he got to explain it. “Any other stories?”

The teacher blinked and adjusted his glasses. “Oh, um… I also enjoy the Cassiopeia story…”

The duke’s face brightened, eagerly awaiting Logan’s explanation. The spectacled astronomer’s face turned pink when he realized this, not sure what to do with this sort of attention.

“Well, Cassiopeia was a queen in Ancient Greece and she claimed to be the most beautiful thing in creation, which Posideon took personally since he had made what he considered to be the most beautiful creatures, and those were the sea nymphs. So Posideon sent Cetus, this giant sea monster, to torment the town, and he told the citizens that if they wanted him to get rid of the monster, Cassiopeia would have to apologize. She didn’t, so they asked if they could do anything else, and Posideon said if they sacrificed Cassiopeia’s daughter Andromeda to him that Cetus would go away, so the townspeople kidnapped her and brought her down to the pier. Poseidon didn’t like that, of course, since he was really just trying to get Cassiopeia to apologize and didn’t want some poor mortal’s blood on his hands so he let Perseus save her and kill Cetus.

“As punishment for almost letting her daughter die to save her own pride and for insulting the gods, they put her in the sky upside down on a chair to humiliate her for the rest of time.” Logan had gotten pretty excited while he explained the story, grinning widely as he finally finished it.

Remus was silent the entire time, watching how happily Logan told him a story he’d heard a million times before and thinking about how nice it was to be able to hear it from the nerd’s perspective.

Logan, finally remembering Remus was there, coughed softly and adjusted his tie, his smile fading. “Um, apologies, Remus. Thank you for letting me ramble.”

“Lo, you were telling a story! That’d be really dickish for someone to just cut you off during a story, you know?”

“I know, but I still appreciate it.” Logan yawned and Remus realized he looked tired, like the story had exhausted him.

“You wanna take a nap, teach?” The duke frowned and tilted his head.

“I… I have to finish up my work for the day…” The logical side moved his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“...Lo?”

“Yes…?”

“You had a long day. Yes it was cuz I was being a bitch, but still, you need to get some sleep. Or, y’know, I’m gonna be even more of a bitch to deal with!” Threatening intrusive thoughts usually worked to get Janus to go to bed when he refused to sleep, so he figured he’d try the technique out on Logan.

The nerd however simply shook his head and laughed softly. “I don’t think so, Remus. I can… I can handle you…”

“You couldn’t today, could you?” Remus accidentally blurted out before immediately covering his mouth. “Oh my god I didn’t mean that-”

“It’s fine, Remus.” Logan stated, rubbing his eyes. “You’re right. I couldn’t handle you today. But I really do have to finish working on this-”

“I’ll stay with you if you go to bed!” The duke once again blurted out. “Cuz I don’t think you’d wanna stay alone with Orange so close by, y’know? I can stay and like, fend him off!”

Logic blinked at the proposition and squinted. “...you… want to stay with me? Why are you so adamant about me getting proper sleep?”

“Well one, cuz it’s already 10:30 at night, and two, cuz… you know, I don’t wanna end up actually hurting you!”

That further surprised Logan. “You don’t want to end up hurting me? I was under the impression that that’s something you enjoyed.”

“Well…” Remus was hesitant to explain - that tipped Logan into the fact that it was probably something more than that.

“What’s really going on Remus?” The stern side crossed his arms and stared at the Creativity.

“...okay, I don’t wanna be alone tonight!” The duke stomped his foot and crossed his arms, looking away. “My nightmares have been getting worse and Janus is hanging out with Roman and Patton today and Virgil hates my guts so I figured I’d at least try to hang out with the one side that for some reason still tolerates my dumb ass!” He sounded a little hurt, and added, “Or, one that wouldn’t immediately kick me out or hit me with a broom at the mere sight of me.”

Logan blinked. “Nightmares? You suffer from nightmares?”

Remus sighed and tugged on his sash. “Yeah, they suck ass - not in a fun way - but it’s part of the job description, y’know?”

“I don’t. But… does this mean you also suffer from intrusive thoughts?”

“...yeah… They’re kinda the reason I came in here in the first place...”

The logical side sighed. “Remus, you could have told me sooner you just needed company. I’m not the best at keeping up conversation but I could have at least put on a movie for you to refocus on something other than your intrusive thoughts.”

The duke blinked. “You… you’re not gonna just kick me out?”

“Why would I? You’re in need of assistance and I’m going to provide it for you.” Logan got up and rummaged through his DVD stack. “What would you like to watch?”

Remus stretched and looked over. “Whatever ya want, Sub-astute but Super Cute Teacher.”

Both sides flushed red when they realized what Remus had said.

“...interesting nickname, Remus.” Logan gulped, looking down.

“Yeah, uh…” The duke laughed weakly. “Well, I guess that cat’s out of the plastic bag it was choking in, huh?”

“What, that you think I’m cute?” The teacher looked over at the moustached Creativity. “You already called me sexy.”

“Well yeah, but that felt less… sappy, than calling you cute. And anyways, I meant that I was into you. Ooh, do you have Coraline?”

Logan stopped. “...repeat that, please?”

“The Coraline thing?-”

“The thing before the Coraline request.”

“Oh yeah, I like you.” Remus was right to the point, like always. “When I saw you take the shuriken to the face and just keep on moving right along… God, that was an image!” The duke gripped his thigh and shook his head, stopping himself from reaching down his pants.

“And you’re telling me this now… why?” The teacher was still reeling from the initial confession.

“We don’t get to talk one-on-one a lot! Plus, I don’t really like talking about cutesy emotions - that’s Roman’s department, y’know?”

Logan nodded slowly.

“Anyways, I changed my mind on the movie, can you put on Monster House?”

The spectacled side nodded and got the CD for Monster House, putting it in the DVD player and sitting next to the green-sashed side. He should have figured Remus wouldn’t be the type to linger on his feelings, and he was grateful for that at least. He couldn’t handle talking about feelings for long periods, especially not his own, but to have one of the most passionate sides just drop the fact that they liked him and immediately move on from that fact? It was odd. He almost couldn’t believe it.

Remus meanwhile was laying on the bed and watching the movie intently, smiling brightly at the screen before realizing that Logan had gotten into bed next to him. He turned over a little and growled “seductively” at the teacher, who laughed softly at the dark creativity. The sound caused butterflies to erupt in the duke’s stomach, flustering him a little. He smiled back at the logical side before returning his attention to the movie.

Logan meanwhile admired Remus, watching as he talked excitedly about the movie. He found it strangely endearing, how excitable Remus got when he was able to talk about things he found interesting. He didn’t have much time to think about it though, as he found himself falling asleep soon after the thought passed through his head. The astronerd yawned and passed out, sleeping peacefully next to the intrusive side.

The duke didn’t notice until he felt warm arms wrap around him. It startled the hell out of him, but he relaxed after he realized it was simply the sleeping teacher clinging to him. He carefully took Logan’s glasses off and turned off the TV before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

**The next morning**

Logan woke up first the following morning, still a little tired but feeling much better than he did the previous night. Vision blurry, the blind scholar felt around his nightstand for his glasses before realizing he was curled up into another person. He quickly got his specs on and saw the sleeping form of Remus below him, remembering that Remus had asked to stay with him the night before.

He looked at the sleeping creativity, who looked much more peaceful (and admittedly much cuter) asleep than he ever did awake. Still feeling somewhat tired, the Sherlock kinnie looked away and closed his eyes, feeling his face start to burn. When did he start thinking of Remus as “cute”?

Logan didn’t have too much time to dwell on it as he heard Remus start to stir. “Ugh… morning starshine…”

The teacher jumped and sighed. “Oh, good morning Remus. Did you sleep well?”

“Like an asphyxiated baby… you?” Remus groaned and stretched, waking up a bit more.

“I slept well too.” Logan fidgeted with his hands. The dark creativity, sensing the spectacled nerd’s unease, sat up and went to get off the bed. He was somewhat shocked to feel Logan tug on his sleeve. “Stay. I wanted to talk about what you said to me last night.”

“Oh… that.” Remus sighed and sat back on the bed. “What about it?”

“I… I’m not entirely sure what it feels like, but I think I reciprocate your feelings?”

Remus’s expression changed from slight concern to a poorly hidden malicious grin. “Oh? You’re into me?”

“I… think I am.” Logan nodded slightly.

The duke was silent for a moment before bursting into a grating cackle. “Oh- oh my god! Oh my god, you’re gonna kill me nerd!”

The scholarly side tensed up and blinked. “Excuse me?-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! What kind of goddamn loser are you, to think I - or anyone really - would like you?! Especially after the bullshit you pulled yesterday, like Jesus Christ you’re pathetic!”

Logan’s heart sank as he heard Remus say this. “So you were, what, mocking me?!”

“No shit, Sherlock!” The intrusive side cackled once again before morphing into a huge octopus-human hybrid monster and grabbing the teacher. “You’re so fucking stupid! What on Earth made you think someone like me would like someone like you?! You’re lucky any of the others even talk to you anymore!”

Logan panicked as the tentacles pulled him up to Remus’s razor sharp teeth, about to chomp down on his head, when-

“Lo! Logan, wake up!” The logical side heard Remus’s voice coming from somewhere it should not have been, and Logan woke up with a start. Remus frowned as the teacher practically flung himself away from him.

“Get away from me!” Logan’s voice sounded frantic and panicked, like a cornered animal.

“Woah, woah!” The creativity held his hands up in surrender. “Teach, it’s me!”

The teacher took a few deep breaths and grounded himself, looking around. “...right, right… Apologies, Remus…”

“No problem, Nerdy Wolverine. Now, care to tell me what happened?”

Logan sighed and moved over to Remus, explaining to him his nightmare, tentatively telling the nightmare inducing side that he’d tried professing his mutual love to the other before getting horrendously mocked and belittled.

“Sounds a lot like my Nightmare Nico scenario. Has this happened before?” Remus had managed to ignore his thundering heartbeat and the cheering going on in his head - Logan likes me back!! He could focus on that later. Right now, Logan needed his help.

“No. I don’t normally dream, period, so to get a nightmare is extremely unprecedented.”

“Huh… so, I’m the reason you had the nightmare?”

“That would be the logical conclusion, though I had assumed that your effects would be… muffled, in my room?”

“Maybe it’s a mix of psychological and my effect on you guys? Like you were stressed or anxious about last night so my ability to give people nightmares got amplified?”

Logan nodded. “Interesting hypothesis, and it’s… definitely possible. I apologize for yelling at you earlier.”

Remus shrugged. “Eh, it’s okay, I’ve heard worse.”

The nerd nodded and the two were silent for a moment before Remus sighed and asked what they were both thinking. “So. I like you, and you… apparently like me back? What does that make us?”

Logan hesitated. “I… I’m not sure. What would you like us to be?”

The duke grinned. “How about boyfriends?”

The scholar smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Remus beamed brighter and moved a bit before stopping. “Can I kiss you?”

Once again mildly surprised by the other’s bluntness, Logan nodded and scooted closer to the dark creativity. Remus quickly pulled the former into a kiss.

Logan was the first to pull away, flushed red and smiling to himself. “I think I could get used to this.”

Remus grinned and took the scholar’s hand. “Me too, Lo. Me too.”

[moonbeamoclock]

i hope you get of writers block soon, im in an art one right now :/ soo, could i request some fluff with our queen mikasa? like some kissing and making out or just being intimate with each other (ʃƪ＾3＾ )

Loved (modern!mikasa x fem!reader)

pre-note: thank you so much for the ask, i appreciate you 😘

Warnings: internalized homophobia, just a pinch of angst, just a dash of heat, a sprinkle of fluff, pining, awkwardness

Word Count: 2.0k

Rain had been steadily beating against the windows of the small third-floor apartment the entire afternoon. Inside her room, the (y/h/c) girl was sat at her desk fruitlessly attempting to do her school work. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn’t seem to focus; her mind kept drifting to her roommate.

The intrusive thoughts were almost overwhelming at this point, pictures of imagined intimacy between herself and the girl she considered her best friend kept floating around in her head. At that moment, the daydream of a featherlight brush of Mikasa’s lips against hers felt so real that y/n’s breath caught in her throat.

Embarrassed at the way she got so worked up just imagining a kiss; her face started to feel hot. She let out a tired sigh and tried yet again to go back to her work when she heard the sound of the door opening and slamming shut in the next room. Perking up, she moved to the hallway and watched as a very cold looking Mikasa shed her layers in the living room.

“Hey, Mikasa! How was class?” Y/n greeted.

“Fine, it’s just so cold out there,” Mikasa replied.

Giggling she replied, “Yeah I bet. It is Autumn you know, you shouldn’t be so surprised.”

Ignoring the teasing, Mikasa asked “Do you want to watch something with me? I’m gonna shower first though.”

“Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah.” Y/n sputtered out.

Excitedly sitting on the sofa, she pulled out her phone and began mindlessly scrolling through her social media while she waited for the raven-haired girl to finish.  

After a few moments, she registered the sound of the shower running, and the image of Mikasa naked in the shower flashed through her mind. The thought made her entire body go hot, she sat frozen in her seat trying desperately not to think about her best friend naked with soap suds wrapping around her body, hands roaming on their own, lower and lower….

Abruptly standing up, her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest.

Oh dear God, this is beginning to be too much. She’s my best friend! Plus, I don’t even know if she’s gay! I don’t even know if I’m gay! Wait, am I gay?

Her train of thought was cut short by Mikasa emerging from the bathroom in just a towel pausing in the hallway to look quizzically at Y/n, whose face somehow got even hotter at the sight, before entering her room and closing the door behind her.

Y/n threw her hands against her face in embarrassment, and she plopped herself back down on the sofa in exasperation.

Seeing her in a towel like that really doesn’t help...Maybe I should just ask if she likes girls? I mean I’ve never seen her romantically interested in anyone before, like ever. I’ll just ask when she comes out of her room if she’s interested in women in a totally casual and not weird way. Yeah, that’ll be fine.  

Taking a deep breath she tried to calm her nerves and act casual as Mikasa emerged from her room now fully clothed.

Coming to sit on the other side of the couch Mikasa calmly asked, “Are you okay? You looked upset when I got out of the shower.”

Willing the heat from her face she quickly responded “Oh yeah, I’m okay, don’t worry about it! I was just thinking about...well….” Wait! Don’t do it, it’s too awkward right now! “Nevermind, sorry. Don’t worry about it.” Y/n finished shaking her head.

There was a pause before Mikasa replied quietly, gazing at her best friend  “Okay, well if you ever want to talk about it just know that I’m here for you.”

The look made Y/n’s chest ache, the urge to kiss the hell out of Mikasa’s plump lips was immense in that moment. She could’ve, they were so close both, of them instinctively leaning in, it would be the perfect moment to do so, but the question from earlier kept weighing on her shoulders.

Shifting away from her roommate she rushed out

“Doyoulikegirlslikeinaromanticway?” She then squeezed her eyes shut awaiting a response.

Mikasa was caught off guard by the question. The words were jumbled together but she was just barely able to understand what she was being asked. She took a second to observe the girl sitting across from her, taking in the uncomfortable look on her scrunched up face. A wave of panic washed over her in an instant.

Oh no. She knows doesn’t she, she knows and she’s going to leave me. Oh god, I’m so gross, I’m obsessed with my best friend and she figured out, and now she’s going to leave me like everyone else did. Why couldn’t you just get it together now you’re going to lose her too.

With rare tears pricking her eyes, the usually stoic girl finally answered with a quiet, trembling voice,

“Um, yeah. I’m sorry...I’ll stay at Eren’s tonight so you don’t have to worry.” With weak knees, she stood up from the couch. Head turned, as to hide the tears threatening to fall. She couldn’t show her weakness, she’s stronger than that.

She was barely able to take a step before Y/n also stood up from the couch grabbing onto Mikasa’s wrist.

“Wait, why would you stay at Eren’s tonight,” she asked confused.

“Because...because. I’m–I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You could never make me uncomfortable Mikasa. What are you talking about?”

Steeling her gaze she looked fully at Y/n “I’m talking about the fact that I like girls, I like you. But now I understand that you don’t like girls, you don’t like me so I’m not going to force you to be roommates with me, but you’re important to me so I hope we can still be friends.”

The look on her face was unreadable, but behind her eyes, Y/n could tell that she was scared and upset.

“You like me?” was the only thing Y/n could come up with.

Mikasa felt like she was going to vomit, but she made sure to keep up the emotionless mask as she forced out a quiet “Yes.” Before ripping her arm out from her grasp. Watching with seemingly emotionless eyes as y/n’s face was overcome with shock.

“W-wait, I,” a nervous deep breath, “Mikasa, I don’t want you to stay with Eren tonight.”

There was a heavy pause as Y/n tried to clear her head before she spoke again.

“I like you too! I was just scared because you’ve never shown any interest in me or anyone for that matter. That’s why I asked if you liked girls. And I know I shouldn’t have asked you like that because I can tell I freaked you out, but I just like you so much and I wanted to know if there was even a possibility of you feeling the same way!....I love you!”

There was a moment of silence where the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the rain still hammering against the side of the building. Mikasa let out a shaky breath before she sat back down on the couch, motioning for y/n to do the same.

“Mikasa, I still have things to learn about myself in terms of my sexuality, but the only thing I know for sure is how I feel about you. I want to be with you, Mikasa.” Y/n spoke. She watched as Mikasa swallowed quickly before whispering;

“I want to be with you too.”

The two girls peered at each other from across the sofa for an instant before Y/n’s hand reached over to grasp Mikasa’s firmly.

“Can I kiss you now?” she blurted.

Mikasa gave her a soft smile before gently nodding her head. They both leaned in slowly, the time it took for their lips to brush feeling like triple of what it really was. When their lips were at last close enough that they could feel the other’s breath, Mikasa’s hand made its way to the side of Y/n’s face caressing her skin. At the contact, she let her eyes flutter shut and swiftly surged forward to close the gap between them.  

The first kiss was sweet and chaste. Pulling apart, they leaned their foreheads together relishing in the feeling of each other’s breath against their skin. The feeling of Mikasa so close had Y/n’s head feeling cloudy, she could barely register the words falling from her lips,

“Um, that was nice. I was actually going to kiss you earlier when we were sitting here right before I asked and freaked you out, which I’m still really sorry about. But I guess it’s a good thing that I asked beca––”

She was cut off by a quiet shushing and the slight pressure of Mikasa’s hand against the nape of her neck pulling her towards her to crash their lips together.

This kiss was a lot messier than the first one. The knocking of teeth and inexperienced caressing of tongues made y/n’s entire body go hot, and by the way the air around the two of them seemed to rise in temperature, the other girls did too. Her left hand was desperately clutching onto the shoulder of Mikasa’s shirt and a low whine ripped from y/n’s throat, causing Mikasa’s grip on her hair at the base of her head to tighten. Y/n’s right hand that had somehow ended up resting on Mikasa’s knee was slowly inching its way up her thigh digging her fingertips slightly into the plush pajama-clad skin.

Pulling away again, Y/n shifted her body to climb into Mikasa’s lap. Running her fingers along the sides of her neck as she asked, “Is this….okay too?”

Caught off guard by this sudden display of confidence, Mikasa’s skin flushed a deeper shade of red causing a quiet giggle to escape the other girl’s lips. In response, the steel-eyed girl ran her hand up y/n’s sides then down her back and gave a small nod as their noses bumped together. Before Mikasa could join their lips together again, Y/n started to eagerly press heated kisses along the column of her throat eliciting a surprised moan from her mouth. She let her head loll back against the back of the sofa relishing in the feeling of the girls lips against her neck. Her head had filled with a pleasant fuzzy feeling,  the thought that the person she adores with her entire being was here with her returning her feelings tenfold was overwhelming. So overwhelming in fact, tears started to prick the corners of her eyes. The pure joy of having the love of her life in her arms in that moment made a muted sob bubble up in her throat.

Startled, Y/n quickly pulled away from her ministrations searching Mikasa’s face for a sign of hurt.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you??” her panicked voice barely registered in the other girl’s ears as tears started to steam down her face. She moved to push herself off of the girl’s lap but was stopped by a strong set of arms firmly wrapping themselves around her torso and crushing her body to Mikasa’s.

“I love you,” she whispered up to y/n, squeezing her tighter to try and show how much she meant those three words.

She relaxed slightly in her arms after hearing those words, wrapping her own arms around her neck and burying her face in her hair placing a light kiss there, she mumbled a tender “I love you too”.

end-note: hi!! this story is so cheesy my stummy hurts. I feel as if this is exactly the same as all my other stories and i’m sorry for that. I’d really love any and all feedback you guys could give me because I really love writing and i want to get better at it.  

[creativia10]

Others in "Working Through Intrusive Thoughts

The following contains SPOILERS for "Working Through Intrusive Thoughts"

Summary: Janus once again finds himself popping in to just watch the drama unfold. However, things take an interesting turn. He may find he has more to think about than he would have expected for that day.

Notes: Let me know if there is another way to Spoiler tag this that I missed. (Title may change). I felt the urge to write something like this pretty quickly after watching the new episode. Spoilers ahead, so please be aware. I am not sure how I feel about this. This feels different from the other one. Let me know if I've missed any warnings.

Pairing: Janus and Remus, hints of Intruloceit

Word count: 945

Warnings: Sexual innuendos, references to the content warnings from WTIT,

Janus sighed as he popped into Thomas’ living room, not announcing his presence, as he was just here for the drama again. He glanced around the room for Remus, but didn’t actively look for him, as giving him away would be ‘participating’. He would shuffle around though, not necessarily ‘hiding’ but not in their view of attention either. He snorted at Remus’ attempts at getting Logan when Logan finally saw Remus. He also took the wine bottle from Logan, pouring some for himself, then sat himself down at the table.

Logan sighed.

“Do you have to encourage him?” Janus smirked and shrugged.

“I’m just here. I’m not doing anything to egg him on.”

Logan sighed again and brought his attention back to Thomas. Virgil, despite them not talking directly, was panicking through Thomas multiple times which made Janus sigh. He almost felt bad for him.

So Janus basically just watched where he could. Logan was impressive as always. Remus’ extra-ness was entertaining as usual, although he wouldn’t have been surprised if he was going overboard to impress Janus. This didn’t always work though.

Then he did that weird little roleplay scene for Logan, which confused the man as much as everything else did. Probably didn’t even pick up that Remus was flirting. Which was fine, that was just how Remus was. There wasn’t really a reason for Janus to be jealous. He understood anyways, the nerd was desirable. He was distracted from his not-jealousy with the next thing that Remus set up.

As impressed as Janus was by all that Remus could do, the situation with Nico was clearly a sore spot. Janus wasn’t going to chastise Remus or anything of course. Besides, Logan had it covered. Oh, to wish good things for either side of this rivalry today. Another reason he was just watching, it didn’t really involve him anyways. He might even be able to calm Remus down afterwards.

Strangely enough, at one point the other two were in a different room from Thomas. The more exciting area seemed to be with Remus and Logan, although Janus was still somewhat aware of Thomas.

So he continued lurking as Logan, surprisingly tried to negotiate with Remus. If Remus didn’t have that sensitive pride that creativities seemed to have, he might have even been believed. Turned out today would be more exciting that Janus originally thought though.

Remus was pushing Logan’s buttons, of course, because that was one of Remus’ stronger qualities. Logan was starting to actually show his building frustration, which was surprising. Might even be good for Logan in the end, although Janus didn’t exactly revel in the logical side’s upset.

“Stop IGNORING ME!”

and whoa. Logan’s eyes glowed fire orange. That was not typical of him at all.

Remus went all for it. Janus was thinking more about it though. Then Thomas left to meet up with Nico, of course. Although Janus saw Logan’s face after Thomas already left.

He couldn’t help but sigh, understanding what that felt like. Sometimes he didn’t always like the ways he would do what was best for Thomas. It wasn’t like he would have been good at comfort anyways though.

Janus lounged in the tree looking over all of them as Thomas talked with Nico. Janus picked up on the tensions just bubbling under the surface, and how unstable their ‘fine-ness’ was, perpetuating the thought that it was okay, because that was what Thomas wanted. He knew though. This wouldn’t last. The theatre in him couldn’t resist the dramatics, and bit into the apple almost as a reminder to himself of what would come next.

“Well hey there Double Dee”

Janus oofed as Remus practically appeared over him and fell onto him. He grabbed hold of the tree, probably forgetting he was imaginary again.

“Hello Remus,” Janus was still looking down at the others, still thinking. He paid particular attention to Logan.

“So what’d ya think of today, huh? Teach is hot, but man can he be annoying.”

“Mhm.”

Remus leaned into him more and did his typical shimmy.

“I’m riled up again,” He breathed into Janus’ ear.

“Wanna get out of here so I can let it out?”

“I’m, not really in the mood right now, Remus.”

Remus blinked and leaned back. He seemed to take in Janus’ body language for the first time.

“Hey, er, are you ok?”

“…I’m not sure. I’m, thinking about what happened with him today.”

“Oh, Logan? Yeah, the fire eyes thing was kinda hot not gonna lie. I wonder what else I can pull at to see that again, because woo man would I want to.”

Janus pursed his lips as that ugly green feeling came back.

“Surely you realize what this could mean though.” Janus said.

Remus shrugged. “I mean, we have you. “ Remus nudged into Janus’ shoulder. “We’ll be alright.”

Janus rolled his eyes with a small smile and leaned back into the shoulder.

“Flatterer.”

“So, you really don’t want to-“

“No, Remus. Unfortunately I find my priority lies in Thomas’ mind sphere.”

Remus pouted a little.

“I’ll still see you later tonight,” Janus said softly.

Remus nodded. “You gonna try and talk to the nerd or something?”

Janus shrugged. “I am not sure what good that will do in the long run. It is certainly interesting though to be the only knowing something is coming. That is inevitable.”

Janus turned over surprised at Remus’ quiet, when Remus leaned over to kiss him. Janus returned the kiss of course, but then pulled back to give him a questioning look. Remus simply smiled and then sunk out. Janus rolled his eyes, and went back to watching them.

[phoenixyfriend]

The Naruto/Frozen Crossover

So I was planning on just doing an image ID thing for this post, but apparently the formatting on desktop is such a mess that it’s easier to just make a new post that’s text only. I can also like. Bulletpoint it so that it can be a little neater. All ideas were made with @firebirdeternal​‘s help, because they are the most efficient enabler I have.

Also I added some bits at the end.

Under a cut, because it’s Long As Heck.

I originally had two options: either Mid-teens Elsa and Anna being transported to ninja land sometime pre-canon and running into Haku and Zabuza... or just like. Born as a Daimyou's daughters.

Spoiler alert, we’ve got nukenin and I’m a sucker for an intrusive crossover, so transported to ninja land it is.

Suggestion from Birdie:

Mechanism for crossover: Elsa ices over a Wishing Well by accident after having Wished for someone else who understood her, Anna and her fall in and get Ice Mirror Portaled to Ninjaland, falling out of an iced over pond near a shrine that Haku recently prayed at for similar lonely child reasons?

Which I like! They don’t end up there soon enough to run into Haku, because I want a dramatic chase first, but I like it.

Obviously, Anna is forced to learn about Elsa's powers because it's the only thing keeping them safe

Or at least alive

(Elsa will do ANYTHING to keep Anna safe, and if that means she has to get her hands dirty...)

...neither of them knows Japanese, so, you know. There’s that.

I'm thinking that they end up in/near Kiri at first

And they aren't FAST ENOUGH to get away so Elsa panic-enchants a giant reindeer made of snow to run away across the suddenly-frozen ocean.

She and Anna have to ride and Elsa is probably crying the whole time.

Oh shit this is like. RIGHT after their parents die, I forgot. So that’s a thing! They are in mourning and all that fun stuff.

Point is, they use the powers for a Self Defense thing and BBY Haku is just !!! "Master can we rescue them for Ice Cousin reasons?" Zabuza: Yes, and only for those practical reasons and not because I collect endangered children like people collect pokemon cards.

I imagine that maybe they track rumors of a Yuki-onna down, or the Giant Snow Reindeer rides by and Haku’s just like Wat

The girls just tag along with Zabuza because. Like.

Do they like him? No. Do they trust him? No. Do they enjoy the fact that he considers them pathetic civilians? No.

However, Haku is Baby.

Zabuza is REALLY annoyed at them being Useless Civilian Royals “but Haku likes them so I guess they can stay.”

Age at meeting, three years pre-canon:

Zabuza - 23

Elsa - 18

Anna - 15

Haku - 12

Elsa is 90% anxiety/depression master combo BUT if Zabzua protects her then she's WILDLY dangerous so like. Whatever

Elsa's bingo book nickname options, uninspired:

Winter Witch

Winter Queen

Ice Queen

Snow Queen

Something about a Yuki-Onna maybe

She's Very Stately and kinda breakable but Winter is her Bitch

I mean like, the fact that, if protected, she can shut down the agriculture of a fucking country? That's an S-rank even if she's not that useful in a fight.

She's like. Jinchuuriki-level destruction. Generally speaking she wouldn’t. But she could.

Elsa: What the fuck is a chakra? Elsa: my snow monsters are self-sustaining. Elsa: I'm gonna build us a house.

Zabuza has NO idea how her powers work and it is INCREDIBLY frustrating but “there’s no chakra cost to keep these things going and we have shelters on demand” is too convenient to question after a while.

Haku: Delicate, deadly, incredibly fast ninja work. Elsa: I can't dodge a kunai but watch me wreck your entire country's ecosystem in under a day.

Elsa is a siege weapon.

Meanwhile, Anna is really, really into the physicality of ninja practice.

She's clumsy and she's not very good at ninja stuff, but she sure is determined!

Anna also gets on Zabuza's nerves because she keeps insisting that Haku get to be a kid.

Anna: Let's make flower crowns! Zabuza: No, he needs to train, not- Anna: FLOWER CROWNS

Consider: Haku saying Elsa-nee-sama and Anna-hime.

Or just calling Elsa “onee-sama.”

Anna is also younger than Elsa and way more Fun so she probably gets adjusted to Anna-chan or Nee-chan.

If Zabuza calls Elsa “Hime-chan” or “Elsa-hime” or, Sage forbid, “Elsa-sama/dono” then he’s VERY MUCH making fun of her and he’s probably getting his soup frozen that night.

At one point, Elsa... tries to like. Convince herself to have a crush on Zabuza or Kakashi or something until Zabuza just puts a hand on her shoulder and asks "do you even like men?" "...that's an OPTION?"

Zabuza urging her to try and ask out a Cute Kunoichi and Elsa's like.... I can't decide if she's bright red and a useless lesbian or uncomfortable and ace.

I am SO invested in the siege weapon thing.

SHE IS THE SQUISHIEST WIZARD.

It's not her fault that every single other combatant on the continent is Massively Dangerous in melee! She took a very traditional back-line build!

Enemy: Doesn't it GRATE to protect someone so pathetic, Zabuza? Zabuza: She literally froze an entire castle of enemies to death because they harmed her sister, so. No.

Most Ninjas: Sharp Knife. S-Rank Mega Ninjas: Gun. Elsa: High Yield Explosive Rocket Launcher. Literally loses fights to the Knife People, because she can't bring her power to bear on that scale. But if you can give her Time and Prep? No contest.

Long distance AoE

Like  you know how Nagato is literally dying of starvation due to illness and can't walk, but he's also capable of leveling powerful villages more or less on his own?

Elsa is the same Vibe.

It’s like sealing a bijuu in a civilian.

She's honestly both more and less powerful? Like it'd be hard for her to kill everyone in Konoha in the snap of a finger? But also, she could starve out the Country of Fire in a summer.

She WOULDN'T, but she could.

I always read Elsa as gay or ace but my brain keeps trying to ship her with dude ninjas and I have to yank it back on a child leash.

People insinuate that Zabuza is interested in Elsa and he's just "What? Ew she's like five."

"I'm eighteen."

"Five."

BUT

Elsa! Might mistake trust and companionship for a crush!

I can see THAT happening despite gay/ace.

Also like. I don’t think Zabuza is straight.

So mlm/wlw solidarity?

And Haku is probs genderqueer.

So Anna is THE TOKEN STRAIGHT.

Anna is like, the Straight Friend who will go to the mat for her queer friends. Like vicious. In-your-face barking like a mean dog at people who were being bigots.

You know how Elsa in the second movie uses her powers to make toys for kids out of ice?

Okay, so her practicing by making things with Haku.

But yeah, Elsa can't really do "throws ice senbon," but she can do Delicate Geometry Things since she apparently, canonically studies math for fun and loves fractals.

Haku: I can trap you in a prison of ice mirrors, and you are at my mercy. Elsa: LOOK AT THIS CASTLE I MADE???

Haku wants to do Pretty Things like Elsa

OH.

Elsa makes... snow bunnies..

For the ninja distraction reasons but also because it's a Soft Thing that makes her feel better about, uh, everything. And Haku likes bunnies.

Zabuza still takes The Dirty Missions but Elsa gets upset when he does something that hurts innocents and Nobody wants Elsa upset. Even Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset.

When Elsa gets upset, overnight accommodations are suddenly Very Uncomfortable for everyone except her and Haku.

And then Anna gets upset, which makes Elsa even MORE upset.

And then things just keep getting colder.

Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset for many reasons, not limited to: "Is actually capable of killing me from outside of Sword Range if she's mad enough, even if it’s not that easy" and "the Small Children would be unbearably sad if she died and honestly so might I."

She's more of a friend than a ward and he's not entirely sure he's okay with that.

Zabuza: "Ew, friendship."

He has absolutely no idea how to have a social interaction with people he isn't Bullying, Raising, or Threatening to Kill.

Elsa and Anna have no trouble convincing people they're related, at least. Different coloration with almost identical bone structure.

A tendency to burst into song when they feel emotions.

Identical weird accent that nobody can place.

FOOD

The girls are royalty, they don't know how to COOK.

But they also want food from HOME.

It's a lot of trial and error.

More error than not, since they have both no knowledge and also a language barrier to overcome. It probably takes YEARS before they can describe things like Unfamiliar Flavors well enough for people to say "OH that sounds like spearmint."

When they run into something they know that’s familiar, it’s life-changing.

Chocolate is more common in the elemental nations than in Arandelle and Anna may or may not cry about it.

Anna is loudly bossy, even at Zabuza.

Zabuza is gruffly commanding, to everyone.

Elsa doesn't actually like being in charge, but when she talks, people LISTEN.

(Haku is just happy to be here.)

Elsa radiates two things: Anxiety, and Natural Command, and she basically just fluctuates between those.

"I don't want to be in charge but also I'm vetoing this."

So, obviously, the main reasons that Zabuza keeps the girls around is that Elsa is a living siege weapon and he thinks she could be convinced to help him run a revolution in Kiri, and also that the Ice Queen schtick is like. Really good for Haku and Zabuza can’t really say no to the kid.

HOWEVER, Anna is clumsy and messy and all that, so Zabuza starts training her in Ninja stuff. Elsa joins in on the “I need to know how to Run Fast to get away from fights I don’t want to have in the first place,” but Anna’s the one that’s like “TEACH ME HOW TO SWORD.”

It’s honestly not that hard to teach her, she’s just really, really, REALLY enthusiastic.

Once or twice someone asks why she’s so bad at this yet running around with an A-rank nukenin and Zabuza’s just like “I’ve only had her for a year and a half, shut up!” because it’s not that he’s a bad teacher, it’s that she was a very pampered civilian until like a week before he met her.

He should get a MEDAL for even getting her to low Chuunin.

Zabuza: I'm taking a job from Gato Elsa, who has Training in economics and politics and bureaucracy: I have a better idea.

This is actually not entirely what I’d do but I wanted to make the joke first ANYWAY here’s an actual plot or something.

Oh, also by this point everyone is Canon Ages so Elsa’s 21 and Anna’s 18 and Zabuza’s 26 and Haku’s 15.

Elsa is getting paid to keep the water from interfering with construction, by way of....

ICE COFFERDAM

Elsa with Haku as her Guard while Zabuza is off running his own mission? Which Anna begged to go on because Cool.

Elsa also kind of keeps her involvement on the ice front semi-secret by claiming she’s there as an engineering consultant.

LISTEN canon made her like geometry, I can ENTIRELY believe she’d be excited about the bridge-building.

Gato has hired someone else on the danger level of Zabuza, who is Threatening to Team 7 + Haku? But then when things look bleak Anna and Zabuza arrive and then Scary Sword Man is on our side and oh dear that's a lot of blood.

Which, you know, fun!

Birdie suggested Raiga which I’m not feeling but I do feel the need to bring up as an option.

It’s also not Kisame BUT

Kisame: [giant lake dome filled with sharks]

Elsa: uhhhhhhhhhhh...

Giant lake dome: [is now a giant ice dome]

Anyway

Gato: I'm hiring an army. Elsa: [giant ice wall around his compound] Gato: ... these guys can walk up walls! Elsa: [adds snowman guards] Elsa: ... Elsa: [adds a ceiling]

Just puts Gato's entire mob in a fucking snow globe.

Zabuza shows up twenty minutes late with (Throwing) Star(buck)s just like "Oh, they dead? No? Want 'em to be? Okay cool I'm gonna go pick up Haku, I'll be back in like an hour."

Anna would... LOVE Naruto

ENERGETIC FRIENDLY GOOFBALL

"I found us a baby brother!" "No, we already have Haku." "BUT LOOK AT HIM."

Anna is only a year or two older than Itachi.

OH RIGHT

I wanted to make a joke about how Naruto also vibes with her because he's less judgmental that she can't really... talk properly.

Sasuke is Judgy and Kakashi is Paranoid and Sakura is Uncomfortable.

Meanwhile Naruto is just like "And I Shall Scream."

Anna, who learned Japanese from Zabuza (rude) and Haku (uber polite): WELL FUCK YOU, GOOD SIR Naruto: YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, LADY Elsa, overly formal: I am... so very sorry.

Anyway, generic missing nin fights and all that.

Elsa gets injured in the process and after a variety of arguments, Naruto manages to convince them to take her to Konoha for medical attention.

Elsa is... usually the one getting injured.

Zabuza and Haku are FAST and Anna is at least learning (even if she’s only been doing it for three years), but Elsa is The Squishy Wizard.

If someone throws a kunai... she can’t... really dodge...

So yeah, gut wound.

Normally they find a nukenin medic to patch them up but Konoha is reasonably close and has some of the more skilled medics on the continent and they DID technically help the Konoha nin so like. Gah.

That’s Zabuza’s final thought. Gah.

Just “Fuck it, let’s save the ice queen.”

Elsa ends up in a half-literal-ice stasis state on the way there and it’s happened before (it is not the first time she’s been stabbed), but it’s always terrifying.

Especially to the Konoha genin who are just like WHAT THE HECK IS THAT.

So they get to Konoha, there’s a whole bunch of stuff about extradition treaties and “you are bringing a literal WMD of a woman into our town” and “we can’t just let MOMOCHI ZABUZA in.”

Anyway, it ends up being that Zabuza has to wait outside the village while Elsa is treated inside, and one of the Teenagers goes in. Obviously, it’s Anna, because Zabuza is INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE with letting Haku enter a village that’s known for having lots of bloodlines, and anyway, Anna’s the sister.

Bunch of stuff, she’s healing, etc, and then one day Anna comes in and is told “your sister had a bad reaction to the anesthetic, we couldn’t save her, I’m sorry, she’s gone.”

She flips out, gets shown the corpse, flips out MORE, gets escorted out to the village walls where Zabuza and Haku are waiting.

Horrified reactions

Zabuza doesn’t want to admit that it’s EMOTIONS because this is his FRIEND, he is clearly just upset about losing the living siege weapon.

Haku is just super confused and goes “But she’s not dead.”

“What.”

“She’s not dead, I can feel her, I can always feel her, it’s like sensing but just her, because we’re both ice. She’s alive, somewhere over... there?”

And points right in the direction of the Hokage Mountain, which for the purposes of this fic and also Drama is where ROOT headquarters is.

YEP we absolutely have that plot point.

Is Danzo overused as a plot device? Probably. Am I going to diabolus ex machina him anyway? Ye.

They kick up enough of a fuss that the Hokage gets called down.

He wouldn’t, normally, he’d leave it to a couple of skilled jounin and call it a day, except Naruto got involved so like. You can’t. Ignore that.

There’s lots of shouting.

Just like. A lot.

And then part of the mountain explodes!

AS ONE DOES

Elsa comes flying backwards out of the hole, catches herself on a spontaneous ice slide, gets to her feet.

Girl is swaying like MAD.

There are absolutely ANBU (both fake and real) coming after her.

At least one of them gets speared through by an ice spike.

Anna runs up to her, tries to hug her, gets batted away.

Elsa’s staring at her in sheer TERROR and starts muttering something about how Anna died years ago, this isn’t real, etc.

Nobody except Anna understands most of it, but Haku picks up enough to translate when Anna’s freaking out.

Elsa starts doing her Ice Castle thing in the middle of Konoha as a coping mechanism, mostly so she can get Up and Away and Shielded By Ice.

This is not a good look.

Especially because she’s singing, which Zabuza always thinks is a bad omen because it means shit is getting real and one or both of the girls are about to get a powerup or be beaten even harder than otherwise. When they start singing, things get More Dramatic And Extreme).

(Zabuza does not like Disney Musical Rules)

Danzo shows up.

There’s a bunch of arguing.

All the medics insist that nothing she was given at the hospital should have caused amnesia, psychosis, hallucinations, delusions, etc.

It’s. Not hard for Hiruzen to guess what happened.

Namely that Danzo, upon finding out that chakra dampeners didn’t do shit since none of Elsa’s powers come from chakra, decided to keep her drugged up and start using genjutsu to make her more malleable.

Because like. An injured WMD just showed up in your village. What are you supposed to do, not try to kidnap her and turn her to your side? Like, come on. What was he supposed to do?

Not that, Danzo. Literally Not That.

IDK how it gets resolved, probably Anna getting to her with the power of love, because Elsa is ultimately Super Disney.

I also don’t really know where to go from there other than “Maybe Jiraiya can get you home, but also I’m pretty sure Zabuza wants you all to get the hell out of here and take over Kiri” but who knows.

Also

IMAGINE ELSA MEETING GAI.

Imagine Ino getting a puppy crush on Elsa.

IDK that’s it for now.

[lavendertwilight89]

All I Wanted

Shout out to @hnnwnchstr and @sapphirestarxx for looking this through. This was a VERY unplanned piece but @neutronstarchild is going through a rough time and I know what would have made me smile when I was there (technically I’m still there but it isn’t as fresh)

Here it is on AO3

Just fluffy goodness my friends--who doesn’t need a cute fluff here and there?

@dangerouspompadour @lemonlushff @willowandfog @cstormsinukagblog @littlestuffstohide @clearwillow @ruddcatha @hnnwnchstr @smmahamazing @wolverine1092 @inuyashaloverforever @xfangheartx @umacaking @bluejay785  @murdergiraffe @superpixie42 @shnuggletea @sistasecbhere @nopenname22 @mcornilliac @sapphirestarxx @fawn-eyed-girl @liz8080 @shinidamachu @keichanz @neutronstarchild @

“I fucking hate being human,” Inuyasha grumbled disparagingly.

“Why? What’s so wrong about being one of us for a night??” Kagome questioned.

He stared at her. Unmoving. Not questioning. Not commenting. He had a thousand and one reasons why.

He couldn’t fucking scent her. Yea, he could get up close and personal but then his little secret about being in fucking love with her would be blown.

He couldn’t see the natural beauty that she was. Of course, the firelight brought out the hidden flames within her eyes but he couldn’t see as well in the dark. The details of her irises, the hidden blemishes of her skin, the different figments of her hair...

He had fucking overwhelming emotions flooding him. It was likely he would say something that he shouldn’t. Such as “I love you, please don’t ever fucking leave me.”

He couldn’t hear how magical her voice actually was. That sweet song that sang to his inhuman ears, the soft sighs no one else caught, the rhythmic breathing of her rest, the quiet moans during the night that sometimes expelled in her sleep only he had been able to witness and fantasize about. 

There were so many fucking more. But the prime reason for tonight: they were staying in a village. With other humans. He couldn’t sense them, hear them, smell them, and what was fucking worse was they HAD to be there.

Miroku had gotten fucking hurt on a job they were doing there and couldn’t be moved. The headman had ordered them to stay. Inuyasha made it a point to get in their room and not move. Sango and Kagome requested no one enter the room after sundown until sunrise as he needed privacy. Sango ended up with Shippo watching over the injured monk in another room where a healer and the headman were present.

To be fair it wasn’t Miroku’s fault he had gotten injured, the blame fell on Inuyasha. Well, according to Kagome, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Accidents happen. While he had been distracted saving the headman’s daughter from one of the demons who claimed her as his new prize, Kagome was almost struck down by the boar demon who had swung his jyaki infused club at her. Inuyasha dropped the girl off at her father’s feet before he leapt in the way and took the hit as he bounded away with her. But in doing so, he had left Miroku wide open to attack from the other demon who was stomping over to reclaim the woman he had just saved.

Sango luckily was by his side in a heartbeat and slayed the demon without hesitation while Inuyasha attacked the other once Kagome was out of harm’s way. He blamed himself. But no one else seemed to. He just wasn’t thinking when he had grabbed the girl out of the boar's arms and then he heard the other one laughing about how good Kagome would look underneath him as his own possession…

It was like his brain shut down. He had literally basically chucked the other girl at the headsman's feet before he grabbed Kagome. No one would see her beneath them. She was too pure and beautiful to be taken like that. To be taken by a demon at all. 

His human night only intensified the guilt. Sango and Kagome both had expressed that Miroku held no qualms nor was he upset with Inuyasha. 

“Miroku is going to be alright, Inuyasha. He doesn’t blame you if that’s what you’re upset about.”

“Whatever,” he muttered.

“Inuyasha--he said he would have done the same thing for Sango! You have no reason to feel guilty!”

“Look--will you just fuck off already? I’m not in the mood.”

“Augh! You are impossible, you know that?!” Kagome stood, undeniably angry and upset at his stubbornness. At least he hadn’t let on to the fact he was so hopelessly obsessed with her and feared one day she would leave him. Just like everyone else he ever loved.

She exited the room with a slam of the door and he laid down on the floor with a grunt.

He was such an asshole. It was no wonder she fucking hated him. Couldn’t stand to stick around him. It was better that way; whenever this whole journey was over and she left him, he would never have to wonder what if. He would be able to just… wait. Maybe. Who knows, maybe he’d live five-hundred years to see her again and realize what a huge mistake he was making now…

But he didn’t have to think about that yet. She was there. With him. For now.

Honestly he knew the woman was in love with him. He was just a coward. Too scared to let her love him. So, he just pushed her away. Hurt her time and time again. All it did was make him hate himself further. She didn’t deserve to be treated like that. But, in the end he had convinced himself that it would be for her own good. She shouldn’t be a half-breed mongrel like him. And when the shards were collected, if she chose to go home, he wouldn’t stop her.

IF and only IF she decided to stay... well it wasn’t going to happen so why should he have bothered to think about it.

When the door reopened, he rolled his eyes, “Keh, didn’t take you long to get over your bullshit this time.”

“Oh my…”

Inuyasha sat up realizing this was not the woman he thought it was. Or the other female he traveled with it.

“Who--” He looked at her and realized it was the headman’s daughter; she was the one who the boar demons had originally been after.

“I--I know you were asked to not be distubred but I saw your friend leave in a huff and wanted to see if you desired company,” the girl offered. While he currently did not have his demonic senses, he didn’t need it to be able to catch what her meaning was.

And that freaked him the fuck out. He made to stand when the girl rushed forward and grabbed his kimono to try and calm him.

“What--”

“Shhhh, my lord. Please. I do not wish to marry my betrothed. I will not tell your secret that you are an ordinary man tonight if you lay with me. He won’t take a sullied woman. I was willing to lie originally and just stay here with you and your friend--"

"Now wait a--"

"But you're such a handsome man. Would you consider remaining here? My father wouldn't mind probably--"

"Would you just--"

"I had thought you were a decent looking man as a half-demon but this is so much better-- do you change nightly?" 

"Will you get off--" he was cut off by her pressing her body to his. He made some weird sound as he fell back trying not to let her rub up on him. Stupid fucking weak mortal body!! 

"I'm sorry my lord! Am I going too fast?" This bitch was parting his kimono!! 

"For fuck’s sake would you just--" He grabbed her hands trying to still her.

The door opening cut him off that time and he was met by a gaping blushing stuttering Kagome. Damnit all to hell.

"I-I-I--I'm--"

"Interrupting?" The headman’s daughter supplied.

"What?! No--wait--" He pushed the girl off him as he adjusted his kimono she had begun to part.

“Lord Inuyasha! Don’t go!”

“Get the fuck off me!! Kagome don’t--” He tripped over the woman who grabbed his legs in haste to keep him from running away as Kagome shot down the hall without closing the door behind her.

“Damnit! Get off!!!” He shouted in annoyance that was slowly rising to fury. 

“My lord why--”

“Because I fucking love her!! Now get the fuck off me!” The woman looked stunned as she released him. He didn’t have time to second guess or question anything that just happened. He had to get to Kagome before she took off for the well or something. She was so accident prone she would probably stumble upon another demon who wanted to take her as his bride. Or trip. Or… something. Either way he needed to get to her.

This was just another reason to hate his fucking human nights. Women were fucking crazy; not that he didn’t already know that. No. He did. He traveled with two of them after all. What hadn’t realized before tonight was how--intrusive they could be.

He hadn’t expected a woman to--propose something like that. What the fuck! It was weird. Yea, he had said something about Miroku in regards to turning down a woman but--he had never had to use it before. “Only a fool refuses a woman who offers herself.” He’d never been on the end of that deal. He never stuck around long enough to either receive such an offer or he was scared off.

Even if he had received such a thing, he would never have taken it. Not with Kagome there. He’d prefer to watch her sleep rather than lie with a faceless woman.

Fuck--where in the hell did she even run off to?? Without his hearing and nose, he was basically blind. She had taken off faster than he had ever seen her run before. He made it to the courtyard and there was no fucking sight of her. If she took off for the forest--he’d never find her.

“Fuck--Kirara!!!” He yelled turning back to the room he knew the monk was residing in. Out came the little feline ready to attack whatever was making Inuyasha panic.

Yea--he was fucking panicking. Being human, his anxieties and insecurities had increased tenfold. Kagome was on the run--possibly in danger or about to be.

“Take me to Kagome!” He ordered without explanation. Kirara clearly didn’t care to question as she transformed and silently urged Inuyasha to climb aboard. She took off towards the woods and just as quickly as they took off, they came across her. He sighed in relief. She was okay. 

“Are there demons around, Kirara?” The cat responded with a growl he could only assume that meant no. He requested her to land behind the trees to cover them from sight and then asked her to stay alert while he talked to Kagome.

He stepped out of the forest line and laid eyes on the young woman who had stolen his heart; she was staring up at the stars, sitting with her knees pressed to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. It looked like she was protecting herself from anyone or anything who dared to get near her in her fragile state.

What upset him was the fact he knew she was crying. He didn’t need his demonic senses to see or hear that. 

“Kagome…” he said breathily. She gasped and turned to see him. He couldn’t see her as well as he would have liked but the stars were bright enough to illuminate her figure and features. Her eyes were wide and low and behold, glistening tears ran down her flushed cheeks. He still couldn’t believe even looking like this she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

“Wh-what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your mistress?!” she shouted, clearly still upset by the miscommunication. Misinterpretation? Whatever this was.

“Kagome I don't even know that girl--”

“You were the one that once told me that ‘only a fool would refuse a--’”

“Shut up! We both know I’m a fucking idiot so you don’t need to rub it in!”

“Inuyasha--”

“No, you shut up and fucking listen to me Kagome--that girl meant nothing. She startled me and I originally thought she was you and before I even knew what was happening she was on me.”

“You don’t owe me any explanations, Inuyasha. If anything you’d owe Kikyo some. But I won’t say anything.”

“What do you mean I’d owe Kikyo an explanation?? Nothing fucking happened!! And Kikyo is just--I don’t owe anything except vengeance!”

“Alright. Let’s just go back,” she said quietly, standing up and brushing off her navy skirt.

“Not until you’re done being mad.”

“I’m not mad,” she said evenly.

“Fine. Sad then.”

“I’m not sad either,” she replied.

“Kagome just fucking stop--”

“No Inuyasha! I didn’t make you talk so you don’t get to make me, either! This is a two way street!”

“Will you just shut up and listen to me?!”

“No! I just want to go back and go to sleep! I have a test in a couple days anyway--” He cut her off by standing before her and was growling. It wasn’t his usual instinctual snarl it was a more human groan. Damn. He. Hated. Being. Human.

“No. You are not fucking leaving me here alone Kagome.”

“I didn’t mean that you stay here--we can go back to the village then to the well tomorrow--”

“No Kagome! Listen to me! You aren’t fucking going home to pout this time!”

“You are not the boss of me, Inuyasha!!”

“No, you’re right! I’m not! But we are friends and you need to just fucking listen!!”

“Listen to you ordering me around??! What is your problem tonight?!”

“I’m human!”

“As you are every month!! What is so different about tonight!? Why are you acting like this?!?”

“Because I can’t fucking lose you!!!!” She stared at him in shock. She was silent as she let his words fall over her.

“You’re… not going to lose me. I just need some time,” she finally spoke. 

“No.”

“Excuse me??” Her eyes challenged.

“I said no.”

“Ugh! What is your freaking deal!?”

“Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be so consumed with emotions for one night a month?! How to even process them without being able to rationally realize half of them are from stupidity?! Cut me some fucking slack, Kagome! We both know that I have never once enjoyed being human. We always played it low key and didn’t look for trouble on these nights and if we got caught up in something, I either ended up almost dying protecting your ass or someone else’s. 

“You always say it’s ok to be honest well here I am!! Being fucking honest!! You want me to express my fear?! My woes!!? Well here!! Here they fucking are playing out before my very shitty eyes!! You misunderstand something so much that you want to fucking leave!! Yea, you’re saying you’re gonna come back but let’s save the horse shit for the barn--you want to leave to put distance between us! I’m not gonna let that happen!”

“You don’t need to yell at me! I understand you feel guilty but there’s nothing to feel guilty about!”

He hadn’t realized he was in her very personal space until he had grabbed her shoulders and felt the soft texture of her school uniform jacket. He honestly missed her old uniform. Not that this wasn’t just as beautiful on her, but he just associated green as her color. It was the color of life, happiness… everything that Kagome stood for. Blue was a maturity. It just made him see the sadness and longing in the young woman’s eyes he pretended to not notice. Since he was a jackass, he figured he’d play the part of the fool. He’d ignore the fact he saw her demeanor towards him change.

But not anymore. Not after tonight. He could curse the fact his thoughts and emotions were at an all time high, he could blame the fact another girl tried to seduce him with Kagome just feet away, but honestly it was his fault.

For being a stubborn selfish bastard. For trying to push away the most amazing woman who had ever entered his life. For denying himself even a shot at happiness…

Slamming her lips into his was something he did out of sheer impulse. The look of hurt and distress was too much to fucking bear. He had to wipe it off her face the only way he knew how--well that was a lie. Standing there with their bodies pressed together, it dawned on him he was still an asshat. He just forced himself on her like some kind of animal. Yea, she may have loved him but she likely probably didn’t want to be kissed.

He pulled away slightly panicking because fuck he just screwed up everything, yet again, because he was a fucking disater--

“What--Inu--”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“A-Ah…” 

“Dummy--damnit--you’d think this would be easier when I word-vomit everything and act impulsive.”

“Inuyasha--”

“I know I’m a jackass. I know I have nothing to offer you outside the robe of the fire rat and the Tessaiga on my hip. I know all I do is consistently hurt you and for whatever fucked reason you love me anyway.”

Her face flushed--likely as bright as his kimono-- and she tried to look anywhere but his face.

“Inuyasha, it’s alright you don’t return my feelings. You--you didn’t owe me anything because I saw you with a woman--”

“Shut. Up. Don’t talk about shit you don’t know anything about. She came in right after you left, going on about how she doesn’t wanna marry the prick from the next village over and because I’m human tonight thought she’d be able to sweet talk her way into my pants. And no, I wasn’t going to just fucking let her. Yea, I’ve said that dirty saying before--but that doesn’t mean I’ve actually done that kind of thing. I ain’t the monk.”

“O-Oh. Inuyasha I’m sorry. I just--I let my feelings get in the way.”

“Damn right you did!! The only woman I’d ever want on me like that is you!!” And there went the word vomit. 

“I’m sorry--what… Uhm, no what did you--I--”

“Fuck that came out wrong--I mean that I--”

“Shhh. Just--wait a second,” she exhaled. He still had a tight grip on her arms. Did she notice? Did she want him to let go? Oh fuck, that was not how he wanted to tell her he wanted to be with her. It sounded a thousand times worse. Shit. 

“No--I don’t want you to think I’m like that pervert--that’s not what I meant--I meant that--wait-- fuck--that’s not what I meant either. Shit, I do find you attractive. But that’s not what I want from you. Damnit, I mean, eventually yes, but for now we can take things slow. Fuck, wait, that’s not--”

He was cut off by the soft press of her lips against his own. Was it possible to physically melt without fire? Because he did--or at least he thought he had. Gods, her lips were so perfect against his own. He had the pleasure of feeling them briefly in Kaguya’s mirror as he had come back to himself but then she pulled away so quickly to check on him. The only good thing that came out of it aside from the sweet brush of her lips was the embrace he got to hold her in. He poured all his love and care into holding her close like that; that she would so freely kiss him. That she would dirty herself for a hanyou.

“Slow down. It’s okay--I--I think I know what you’re trying to say but just for my own clarification so that I don’t jump to conclusions--do you like me?”

“Of course I fucking like you, what kind of asinine question is that?!”

“Ugh! I meant like like--uhhhh--” She started to blush and get frazzled. Rolling his eyes he kissed her forehead and her sputtering stopped.

“If you’re asking if I love you, then you really are stupid.” She glared at him even harder than before when she was actually mad at him for yelling at her but he couldn’t help but laugh. He was actually laughing. In reality it had been so long since he had done so. So freely even. But that was Kagome’s effect on everyone; she was a woman who could break the chains on anyone or anything. She brought the sunlight to those who were stuck in endless darkness. The ocean in the desert. 

“Inuyasha--” she warned.

“Yes; I love you. There? Happy?” He was actually scared of her sometimes because her temper rivaled his own. Needing this to go well, he gave in and ceased his teasing.

“But what about… What about you and Kikyo?”

“Kagome there is no ‘Kikyo and I’--there hasn’t been in a long time. When she was resurrected, there was, well there still is just a lot of guilt. Everytime I see her, all I can think is that it was my fault for not trusting her…”

“But she didn’t trust you either, Inuyasha. It shouldn’t be you who carries all the blame.”

“I know that, Kagome. That’s not what was stopping me from… well, telling you about how I felt.”

“What was then??”

“The fact I literally have nothing, Kagome. No home. No name. Nothing. What kind of life can I give you?”

“Everything. All I want is you,” she replied so easily, with zero hesitation. Gods, she was amazing. 

“Kagome--”

“Inuyasha, I grew up in an era so different from here. I’m willing to give it all up to be with you. I don’t need anything but you by my side. I love just traveling here with you. We could live in the forest, a cave, I don’t care; as long as we are together. But I know the village would accept us.”

“Until Miroku and Sango die.”

“Inuyasha!!”

“Just saying you’re putting a lot of faith in a village who associated my name with terror until three years ago when we started our little travels.”

“Inuyasha, you have to learn to trust people!”

“That’s what I got you for. But then you have me to balance ya out.”

“Ugh! You are so frustrating!!”

“Whatever, you love me.”

“Yes… I do,” she smirked as she kissed him again. His hands somehow found their way to the small of her back and his tongue brushed against her soft ample lips. She easily opened and allowed him in. He couldn’t wait to have his demonic senses back to see how she really tasted. In more ways than one. 

When she drew back quickly he almost fell over from shock. What had made her draw back? Had he done something wrong??

“N-not tonight,” she said breathily, her eyes still glazed over in desire and want.

“What?” 

“I--I always wanted our first time to be--well anytime when you’re not human.”

“What???”

“I want to be able to look into your golden eyes and touch your ears and--” she bit her lip in embarrassment and her cheeks were flushed. If he could smell her he’d bet all the money in the monk’s robes she was reeking of arousal. 

“We don’t have to take this fast, Kagome. We can go as slow as you want--I’m not a pup. I don’t mind courtin’ you and proving to you I can be a good mate to you.”

“Oh Gods, Inuyasha! I have been waiting for this moment for three years and I’m already dying that tonight is the new moon!”

He chuckled at her impatience and kissed the crown of her head. “This is new. Just think about it.”

After she huffed her displeasure, she pulled his face down by his forelocks and kissed him again. He was fairly positive he had all he ever wanted. Thank Gods he was the fool who refused the offer of a woman.

[imjustkindafloating]

Starry Eyed Boy, Part 5

Summary: Logan and Virgil explore the new planet.  (They go to a restaurant, basically.  We almost to the good shit, babes)

Pairings:  Pre-Romantic Analogical / Eventual Analogical, Established Royality 

Word Count: 1,419

Warnings:  Weird guy flirting (mentioned), Cursing, lmk if i need to add more.

Notes:  You’ve got a big storm coming.  ;)

Taglist: @shitpost-sides @gothybubby @rainbowbowtie @hikarisakurariver @singularthoughtofstatic @supersoftsupersleep @gabrieldoesstuff @justthatamount @judyismydog @star-crossed-shipper @high-ashell-hargrove

Knock. Knock.

     No, thank you.  Virgil thought and rolled over.

     Knock. Knock. Knock.  Virgil groaned and rolled over to face the ceiling.  Wait.  Fuck!

     Virgil shot out of bed, quickly calling out a loud, “Come in!”.  Logan opened the door and leaned against the wall.  He raised an eyebrow.  

    “Are you alright?” Logan asked as he watches Virgil open his luggage bag and sift through the clothes.  “The drawers are full of specially made clothes.”  Virgil nodded as he held up a t-shirt, then shook his head.  Logan smirked and walked towards the drawers.  He pulled one open, found suitable clothes, and then handed them to a confused-looking Virgil.  Virgil dropped the t-shirt he was holding and took the clothes.  A dark purple shirt with small rips in it, a black jacket with purple patches... and.. black jeans.  Oh, yeah.  The new clothes. He thought as the sluggishness swept away.

    “Are you--” He paused to yawn.  “Sure I can have these?”  He mumbled from behind his hand.  It looked like he was trying to hide his whole body behind his arm.  Logan had half the mind to stop himself from chucking at the shorter male.  

    “Yes, Virgil.  Emile was very insistent on what you would like to wear, and I knew you wouldn’t want to answer him.  So I answered for you.  Sorry for the intrusion, I may have looked at the sizes of your clothes.”   Virgil blinked, not unlike the cats on earth.  

    “Oh.”  

     Logan chuckled and hummed.  “I’ll leave you to get dressed, we have a long day ahead of us.  I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”  Then he proceeded to walk out of the lavish room.

-----

     Virgil slowly got dressed as he actually took in the room around him.  The walls were painted in a soft lavender color, while the trims were a solid black.  The bed had a large canopy, in black, although it was see-through.  The comforters were thick and soft.  Easy to sleep on.  He thought.  The floor was dark wood, one that he couldn’t identify because it was tinted... purple?  At the edge of the bed, there was a crate.  On the other half of the room was a large, paper-thin TV.  A weirdly shaped sofa and armchair.  There were floating balls of light floating around the whole room, almost like fairy lights, if they could levitate.  Everything looked a bit more round than back on earth.  At the end of the room, opposite the door, was a large window.  Virgil fully dressed now, went to the window.  Before he did, he smudged eye shadow under his eyes.  He pushed the curtain over slightly, just enough for a line of light to seep into the room.  

     Virgil’s eyes widened when he laid eyes on the city in front of him.  Cars, if you could call them that, zoomed through the air.  There was short grass everywhere, except for small roads, that Virgil assumed were technically sidewalks.  No cars drove there.  The roads bustled with people, while trees lined the sidewalks with grass beneath.  The buildings looked entirely natural and completely technological all at once.  

     “That is Arteska, Virgil.”  Logan’s voice said behind him.  Virgil spun around with his mouth hung open.  

     “Logan?! Fucking hell, dude... warn a dude next time.” Virgil muttered, his hand on his chest as he hunched over slightly.  

     “Apologies.  You took quite a long time, I began to get worried.  I knocked but you didn’t seem to hear me.”

     “I- it’s alright,”  Virgil whispered as he watched Logan run his eyes up and down his form. With a surge of confidence, Virgil shoved down the voices telling him not to, he said "You know, that's considered rude on earth."

Logan blinked before turning his head, a blueish blush creeping onto his face and pointed ears. "Again, my apologies." He murmured.

"I didn't mind it. It's alright, Lo." Virgil winked, as his face flushed a deep red. He coughed, "Let's go..?"

Logan fought a smile and nodded. "Let's."

-----

Exiting the castle must've taken at least thirty minutes. The winding paths seemed to take forever to get out of. Thankfully, Logan seemed to know where he was going. Along the way, Virgil had drifted closer to Logan, as the hallways bustled with different people. Two people were carrying a large crate down the hall and suddenly, they dropped it, letting red and blue fruit topple out. Virgil jumped at this and grabbed Logan’s arm. He had yet to let go. Logan hadn't told him to let go yet and it seemed to make people stop staring. (Logan was really glaring at the people as to not make them gaze at them.)

After the short excursion to get out of the castle, they reached a huge open door.  People walked in and out, chatting and laughing as they passed. Logan started to lead Virgil out the front door while Virgil slowly saw the world emerge before him. Everything was the same but so much clearer. Shops lined the streets and the roads, now clearly a grey brick pattern was bustling with people. Smells filled Virgil’s nose and he smiled. For some reason, it smelt like home.

-----

Logan and Virgil weaved through the streets until Logan decided it was time to eat. He stopped at a place called Patton-Cakes. Right next to the shop seemed to be another restaurant called J's Coffee.

"Y'all have coffee?"

"A sort. It serves the same purpose as coffee, though I doubt it will taste the same as on earth."

"Good, I hate coffee."

"When at your apartment on earth, you drank it every morning..?"

"I needed my bean juice, Lo."

"I'm not even going to attempt to understand what you just said."

They walked inside and a short, chubby man with strawberry blonde hair and freckles littering his face exclaimed, "Logan! I missed you so much!" he said as he shot his way out from behind the counter and launching himself at Logan, dislodging Virgil’s arm away from Logans. Virgil was more than just a little disappointed. Logan felt safe and he liked the security of it. Maybe something else too. He wasn't stupid, he knew what he felt, he just wasn't the kind the make the first move. Logan would have to do that. Until then, Virgil would just let it be known he was interested.

The small man pulled away and started to rock on his heels. "Sooooo... you're Sir Emile’s kiddo? I'm Patton!" He said brightly, as he held open his arms. Virgil slowly moved behind Logan and waved. He mumbled a small "No thank you, please." People were staring and Virgil could feel the pool of panic settle in his stomach. Patton smiled and seemed to understand, which for Virgil was a relief.

"Virgil, could you go find us a seat? You don't have to unless you don't want to. I can go with you if need be." Virgil nodded and said that 'I'm not a kid, Lo.'

He found a seat near the counter, not unlike the booths at waffle house back home. It was secluded more than the other ones and when he looked at Logan for an okay, he got a thumbs up and an awkward smile as Patton grinned knowingly back at Logan and then at Virgil.

Logan eventually came to sit at the table, with blue blush creeping up his face. Virgil felt a pit in his stomach. 'What did Patton say to Logan that made him blush?'

-----

Leaving the restaurant with Logan’s arm around his waist was NOT apart or the plan, if Virgil was being honest.

When a man approached Virgil as he got up to get a refill from Patton, Logan had jumped in and put his arm around Virgil’s waist with a growled, "He's taken." Virgil didn't understand what made Logan say that, and he wasn't honestly complaining. What was more upsetting was the fact that Logan was now in front of him apologizing, bright blue, in his fucking bedroom.

"--gain, I'm incredibly sorry, the man was clearly being flirtatious with you and while you're new to the planet, people know who you are--" Virgil put his pointer finger over Logan’s lips. He was speaking a mile a minute.

"I don't care, L. I have trouble realizing when people are flirting with me at any rate, so thanks." Then he moved his finger away with a smile. Then the windows covered themselves in thick metal, while a loud robotic voice announced “Electrical storm, inbound.”

[twomoonstwosuns]

sick day.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warnings: swearing, smut in a dream (18+), heavy amounts of fluff

word count: 4.0k

a/n: i’m sorry for the delay, it’s been a weird week. i hopefully won’t make you wait as long for the next part. this is kind of a filler chapter, but i hope you guys enjoy it still! the poe dameron x reader tag hasn’t been working so if you’re missing updates, blame Tumblr. 

also thank you @dameronsgalaxygal for helping me when i was stuck <3

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“Baby, fuck you feel so good.”

Poe gripped your hips, sliding you to the edge of his desk and sliding his cock into you. The hand on the back of his neck tightened, grabbing some of his curls in its grasp at the intrusion. Your mouth was on the base of his neck, decorating it with different sized bruises. One particular bite to his pulse with a tight clench of your pussy made him groan loudly and you quickly pulled his mouth down to yours with a tug of his tie.

“Do we have to worry about you being loud?” You breathed heavily. Poe lifted your legs higher up on his waist, the new angle allowing him to drive deeper into you. A loud gasp left your lips as your eyes fluttered closed and a smirk crossed his face. He leaned down to your ear, taking the shell of hit in his mouth. 

“You know what I’ve thought about?” He said lowly, his breath hot against your ear as he slowed his thrusts. You gave a quiet, strangled moan as a response as he bit down on it. “Taking my tie, tying you up. Completely at my mercy.”

His hand was on the side of your neck, his thumb slowly rubbing up and down the front of your throat. You were a trembling mess, the thought of him putting just a little more pressure there enough to make you come hard right on the spot. 

“I could—fuck yes, Poe—get into that.” Poe’s mouth covered yours, swallowing the sounds coming from you. You giggled against his lips as an item fell off of his desk from the harsh movement against it. 

A knock on his office door made you both freeze, horrified looks on your faces as you looked at each other and then at the door. 

“Just a sec!” Poe yelled before dropping his voice to a whisper. “Get under my desk.”

You both scrambled as quietly as you could, pulling your pants up and fixing your shirts. You tucked yourself underneath his desk, feeling very grateful for the backing on the front of the desk. Poe tamed his hair the best he could as he unlocked his door and opened it, immediately greeting the person on the other side. 

“Ackbar, how are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good, I just wanted to run something by you.” Ackbar said, nodding towards the door handle. “Who are you trying to keep out, Dameron?”

His tone was suggestive, but Poe shut it down with a shake of his head. “Some of my students like to barge in and hang out in here because of my very lenient open door policy and I have several phone calls I’m taking today. Including one in five minutes, so you have to make it quick.”

Ackbar left the door open as he sat down across from Poe’s desk. Poe sat back in his chair, scooting all the way in so his entire lower half was underneath the desk to shield you. 

“So, what’s up?” Poe spoke, providing cover for the movement you were making under his desk to make room for his legs. 

“What do you think about forgoing a final exam for anyone who’s averaging a C in the class?” Ackbar asked. “I mean, if they want to take the final to try and raise their overall grade they can, but if they fail it’ll count against them.”

Poe squirmed in his seat as he felt your hands on his thighs, rubbing slowly and traveling higher. His leg hit the underside of his desk when he felt the vibration of his zipper being slowly pulled down, which he told Ackbar was a muscle spasm. 

“You’re teaching two hundred freshman over four lectures, you sure you want to do that?” Poe said slowly, the attempt to keep his voice level and controlled extremely difficult. 

“It’s definitely less grading for me to do, but I was also thinking that—“

Everything Ackbar was saying was going in Poe’s ear and right out the other as the soft skin of your hand made contact with his cock, applying firm pressure and pumping him. He wasn’t entirely soft yet and a few strokes of your hand brought him back to fully hard. He coughed to cover the groan that almost erupted from him. 

“Here’s my opinion,” Poe said, interrupting Ackbar, sucking in a breath as your thumb brushed over the head of his cock. “I’d do it for seniors but freshman? They’ll most likely take the easy way out and skip it. Don’t let them settle for mediocre grades. Not one of them will willingly take the final.”

“Alright, you’re right.” Ackbar put his hands up in surrender. Poe felt his cock start to tighten up, the thought of coming in your hand under the desk with Ackbar just a few feet away stoking a fire inside him. Instead, Poe felt you carefully tuck him back in his pants and skillfully disguised the deep groan he let out as one of agreement. “You catching the game later?”

“I’m going to try.” Poe looked at his watch. “Sorry man, I have to take a call in a minute.”

“No worries,” Ackbar stood up, Poe doing the same and straightening his shirt so it covered more of his groin area as he walked towards the door. “You wanna grab a beer at Maz’s later? Watch the game?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Ackbar shook Poe’s hand and patted him on the back. “Have fun with those calls. Take it easy, Dameron.”

As soon as the door shut and the lock clicked, Poe let out an exasperated laugh. You crawled out from under his desk laughing so hard that you had to lean against his desk to keep yourself from falling over. Poe came around to his desk again, laughing as he plopped back into his chair.  

“I can’t believe you did that,” he said in disbelief, though the smile on his face said he wasn’t the least bit upset about it. 

“Exhilarating though.” You leaned down and pecked his lips, your hands going back to his pants and unbuckling them for the second time as you got on your knees. 

“Let me finish what I started.”

Poe woke with a jolt as a cough rocked through him, groaning at the congested pain it left behind in his chest. His eyes screwed shut and his groan grew louder at how turned on he felt at that moment, knowing he had no energy to take care of it and no energy to enjoy you taking care of it for him. Poe looked up just as you came in, a cup of water in one hand and a sleeve of crackers in the other. You set the items on his nightstand and sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his back. 

“You ok?”

“No,” he said, shoving his head into the pillow. “I was having a good dream about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Poe pushed his hips into the mattress, looking for relief. You stifled a laugh. “Oh, that kind of dream. Do you want me to help you out?”

“No, ‘m too tired.”

You leaned down to his ear, your voice lowering. “You know, I have those dreams about you too.”

Poe reached over and squeezed your thigh. “Y/N…”

“Baby…” you mocked his whine. Poe shivered and you saw goosebumps appear on his skin. You placed your hand against his forehead and then the cheek that wasn’t resting on the pillow. “You might have a fever, do you have a thermometer?”

“I don’t think so.”

You went into his bathroom and looked for anything that would help. You found some ibuprofen and you helped him sit up enough to swallow them. Pulling the blanket up around him, you leaned down and kissed his head. 

“Sleep. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

You left the door opened a crack, enough to hear if he needed you and for Beebs to come and go as he pleased. He was already snoring by the time you got to his kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea. 

You knew Poe wasn’t feeling great when you talked to him the night before and you were surprised when you got an email saying he was canceling class. In the two semesters worth of classes you’d had with him, he’d never canceled a class without notice. You skipped your last class of the day and went straight to Poe’s. He tried to argue with the very little energy he had that you didn’t have to skip class to take care of him, but the minute you got him to lay in bed, he was completely submissive. 

Your phone vibrated in your pocket with an incoming call and you grabbed it to see it was Jessika calling. 

“I’m at the grocery store, do you need anything?”

“Actually yeah, do you mind picking up some things to make soup and dropping them off at Poe’s? He’s sick and he has nothing here to help him feel better.”

“Yeah you bet, send me a text?”

“I will. I’ll send you his address too. Text me when you get here.”

“No problem, see you in a bit.”

You tossed your phone onto the table and grabbed your backpack, setting yourself up on his couch. You had a long list of things that needed to get done, midterms coming up quicker than you were prepared for. You also had to order your robe for graduation so you had time to get it hemmed if needed. But an assignment that was due the next day required your immediate attention. You opened your book and you’re notebook and dove right in. 

Fifteen minutes later and you’d read the same paragraph four times. You alternated between staring at your book and tapping your pen against the page to staring to scrolling through apps on your phone. There was no motivation to do anything productive. What you really wanted to do was curl up with Poe under his blankets and just sleep, but you were already risking getting sick by being there and cuddling with him would pretty much guarantee it. Throwing your stuff aside, you walked over to the shelves that lined Poe’s living room, seeing if there was maybe a book he had that would be far more interesting than reading about marketing and trade shows. You looked through all the titles of his books, some maybe’s coming to your head when you spotted a picture frame stuck between a book and the back of the shelf. You carefully moved the book, grabbing the picture frame and wiping the dust off of the glass. 

He looked just like her. Thick and curly raven-hair sat on top their heads. They shared the same eyes, deep brown like milk chocolate, though hers were just a bit lighter. Their smiles matched, easy and laidback like it took no effort at all. You recognized the ring on her finger as the one worn around Poe’s neck. In the picture, Poe was mid-laugh as his mother carried him on her back, his tiny arms wrapped around her neck and his head against hers. You felt a pang of guilt in your chest. The way Poe talked about her and seeing the picture that you found, they were clearly very close. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how devastated Poe must’ve been when she passed. 

Poe had said he’d forgiven you for what you said, but you still hadn’t forgiven yourself. If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know if you’d be able to. 

Your phone vibrated in your hand, the message telling you that Jessika had arrived. You told her the code to enter the building and a few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. 

“Thank you so much for doing this,” you said as you opened the door, immediately taking the bag from your roommate. 

“No problem at all.”

Jessika looked around behind you, her eyes curious. You chuckled and held the door open.

“Come on in.”

“Inside a professor’s apartment,” Jessika said as she stepped in. She looked around the room when Beebs came up and jumped on her. You tried to apologize and tell Beebs to stop but Jessika just leaned down and picked him up. 

“Ah, the infamous Beebs,” she laughed as he licked her face. “You really are cute, aren’t you?”

You stepped into the kitchen and put a couple bottles of gatorade in the refrigerator, leaving out the ingredients to start making soup with and digging around the cupboards for the items you’d need to make it. 

“So, what’s he sick with?” Jessika asked. 

“A cold from what I can tell. He doesn’t have a thermometer so I don’t know if he has a fever.”

“How’s he doing?”

You sighed heavily. “Poe’s amazing and wonderful in many ways, but he is still a man who thinks he’s dying because he has a cold.”

“You hear that, Beebs?” Jessika said in Beebs’ pointed ear. “He’s got a man-cold. And they’re supposed to be the superior sex.”

“Yeah, supposed to be.”

Beebs wiggled in her arms and she let him down, watching him walk off. You watched Jessika laugh quietly at the adorable dog before looking back around the apartment, giving a small nod of approval. 

“Hey Jess?” You spoke quietly, your voice hesitant and unsure. You walked over to Jessika, who had been looking at you with a questioning look. “I’m sorry.”

Jessika opened her mouth to speak and you put a hand up. “I’m sorry for being a bitch, for treating you like shit, and taking forever to forgive you. You said things and I said things and even though what you said hurt, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person and I’ve been treating you like you were. And I’m really sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Jessika replied and you shook your head. 

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, I forgive you then. Because I’ve missed you.”

Holding your arms out, Jessika met you in a tight hug. You really had missed her too. She had been there for you when she didn’t have to be, and thinking back you were surprised she was because you felt you had treated her like shit. Beebs jumping up on both your legs trying to be included in the hug tore you apart, Jessika leaning down and scratching his ears. 

“When we’re done with school and all that and it’s fine for you guys to be in public together, I’d really love to sit down with Prof—Poe.” Jessika said, the use of his first name foreign on her tongue but the effort graciously appreciated by her friend. “You know, get to know him. As one of your best friends, it is my job to tell him that if he hurts you I’ll destroy him.”

You chuckled. “I’m sure we could arrange that if you really want to. I’ve met his friends, seems only fair that he gets to know mine.”

“Exactly!” Jessika said. “Alright, I have to get going. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, I have class a 7:45a.m and he needs to sleep, so I’ll be back later tonight.”

Jessika squeezed your shoulder as she passed and you thanked her once more before she left. You set to work, setting up everything you’d need and pulling up the recipe saved on your phone. 

Chopping vegetables in your boyfriend’s kitchen was oddly domestic, like you were waiting for him to come home from work and you were cooking dinner. You wondered what you would be doing at that very moment had you not pursued your professor that Halloween night. Would you have given Ben another chance? Would you be in a relationship at all? You pondered the what if’s, yet each scenario couldn’t bring you to the level of happiness that was your reality. You really thought you had lost it all during that fight and you would never go another day without being grateful to Poe for forgiving you.

As you added all the ingredients together, your mind went to the dark place you tried so hard to push to the back of your mind. Graduation was just two months away. What was going to happen after your relationship graduated and the lease for your apartment was up and you moved back home? Poe certainly didn’t act like he would dump the relationship just because you were done with school, but you couldn’t help but think that way. You copped it up to having developed a small fear of abandonment, no doubt thanks to the sudden departure of your father. 

Slow, heavy footsteps filled the empty silence as you adjusted the temperature on the cooker. Poe slid his arms around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“You didn’t sleep very long,” you said.

“Can’t sleep anymore. Smells good,” Poe mumbled, leaning into you to see what was in the cooker. You gently bumped your head against his. 

“I’m glad you can smell,” you said. “It’s my grandma’s recipe. My mom used to make it for Tallie and I when we were sick. It’s done now, eat some. You need to eat.”

You moved around each other, him scooping up soup and you grabbing him something to drink. 

“Did I have all of this stuff?” Poe asked, looking at all the ingredients he could see in the soup as he walked to sit on the couch. 

“No, Jessika dropped off stuff. You have nothing here,” you teased, taking a seat next to him. Your expression turned a little more serious. “She wants to sit down and talk with you, you know. Get to know you. When the school year’s over. If that’s ok with you.”

“I’d like that,” he said, taking in a spoonful of soup and groaning at how nice it felt against his sore throat. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“I still have some secrets left,” you smirked. “I’m glad you’re feeling better enough to eat something. I was starting to worry a little bit.”

“I’m hoping I can kick this in a few days. I’d hate to cancel class again.” You assured Poe that no one would be mad if he did, to which he laughed and then immediately coughed. You hoped he’d be able to get rid of it soon, too. “You’re going to Cabo for spring break, right?”

“Yeah, with a few girlfriends from high school. Why?”

“I just forgot.” There was something about the tone of his voice that sounded nervous, but he didn’t say anything else. You and him had discussed your spring break plans and you knew he was going to California for a few days with Finn and Rey. 

“So, I’m—“ Poe started, pausing to figure out how he was going to ask what he wanted. You urged him to continue. “After California, I’m spending a few days at my dad’s. If you can make it work, would you want to spend two or three of those days with me?”

Your mouth dropped and a small smile started to form on your face. 

“You want me to meet your dad?” Poe shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, but it was to him. And it was to you too. 

“Yeah, I do,” he said, putting his near empty bowl on the coffee table. You were happy to see he was able to finish most of it. “I was thinking you could fly out Thursday and we’d get a late flight back here on Saturday night so the chances of running into people from here are slim.”

“That’s very specific, how long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since we last talked about spring break. I just didn’t know how to ask you.”

“Were you scared to ask me?”

“I thought it might be too soon to be meeting family.”

“It might be,” you said softly and Poe nodded in understanding, but his face fell a little. You placed your hand on his leg. “But I still want to.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded and Poe’s face lit up. This was so important to him, like meeting his friends had been. And it stirred something in your chest that he already wanted you to meet his dad. It gave you more hope for your future together. “I’ll call my friends tomorrow and see if we can figure it out.”

Poe put his hand on top of yours and squeezed it, not exactly what he wanted to do but trying not to heighten your chances of getting sick. “I’ll get the soup put away, do you want to watch a movie before you leave?”

You nod and get up at the same time as him, grabbing the blanket from the floor and stretching out on the couch. You opened up Netflix and scrolled through, deciding on a movie that you’d both seen before in case Poe fell asleep. Poe turned a couple lights off as he came back, taking the blanket from you and settling between you and the couch. Half of his body laid on top of yours, legs tangled together and his cheek resting in the middle of your stomach. His arm laid along your other side, hand curved in so his fingers grazed against your side. You were his body pillow and you didn’t mind one bit. 

Poe was a physically affectionate person. He loved to be touching you in some way, from something simple like holding your hand or throwing your legs across his lap to wrapping you completely around him while you laid in bed together, limbs so intertwined you wouldn’t know where he started and you ended. You weren’t surprised to find out that Poe was extremely cuddly when he wasn’t feeling well. A lot of people got that way. 

You started the movie and brought your hand up to run your fingers through Poe’s hair, gently massaging his scalp as you did. You had learned pretty quick that his hair was a weakness for him, something that both relaxed him and excited him depending on what you were doing with it.

It had only been about a month since your first date but you were so incredibly happy with Poe. You adored everything about him, especially the way he treated you. He didn’t talk to you or see you or treat you like a naive girl in her early twenties. He respected you as an equal, an adult in an adult relationship. It was so early in your relationship, but you couldn’t help but think about a future with him. 

This was the real thing for you. You were young and very well aware that a lot of people your age didn’t get into serious relationships. But you really wanted this to turn into something long-term. You hoped he did too. 

He had your heart; completely, fully.

“You’re staring,” Poe mumbled. You chuckled. 

“I can’t help it. 

He looked up at you, his chin on your stomach. “Thanks for taking care of me,” he said quietly, placing a kiss on your stomach over your shirt. You smiled softly down at him.

“Of course,” you said. “If I wasn’t, you’d be curled up in the fetal position starving and dehydrated.”

“I would not.”

“You would too. You’re such a baby when you’re sick.”

Poe nuzzled your stomach, the action making you giggle when his two day old stubble made contact with your skin. You relaxed into him, the hand that was in his hair traveling down to rub soothing circles on his back. Within thirty minutes of the movie starting, you were both fast asleep. 

When you were sick with a cold a few days later, Poe was better prepared to tackle the cold. You slept in his bed all day in his bed and he took care of you the same way you did for him.

tag list [open!] - @ah-callie @darksideofclarke @leilei-draws @imaginecrushes @i-ievu @brianamaree @yeeintensifies @spider-starry @krazykatkay456 @fanfiction-trashpile @afootnoteinyourhappiness @easterncryptid @my-child-gaara @myrandom-fandomlife @onebatch--twobatch @the-cry-of-youth @p3nny4urth0ught5 @porgiez @umchrisevans @galaxy-of-stories @seeking-a-great--perhaps @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @dameronsgalaxygal @mserynlarsen @yougottakeeponkeepinon @linibirdimagine @goddamndameron

[craftypeaceturtle]

I want to start this off with saying that Virgil being Anxiety always struck me with being weird and not really fitting in with the others. My explanations for this has changed over the millions of years I have totally been in this fandom so maybe I’ll change my mind again but hey ho! This is that one idea I have currently that I just can’t seem to write. 

I like the idea of it starting off with Janus moving to the light side of the mindscape.

His room is really similar to Patton’s so Pat agrees to help him pack and carry it all over.

They end up finding a bunch of old baby videos and cut to them both watching old videos of a little toddler chaotic Remus.

The fic I started included their first ever video which was during Remus’ second ever Christmas. The darkside was decorated kinda haphazardly and cheaply. The camera is really shaky and was mostly pointed at the floor. Eventually Janus figures out he’s recording and slams the camera upwards to Remus sitting on the floor eating toast. 

I really don’t know why I’m fixated on this but just the idea of a little chubby Remus with a strip of toast in his tight little fist and sucking on his fist. Just absolutely destroying that toast really grossly but in that toddler way where they are still somehow cute. 

Eventually Janus is like I’ll move the boxes but you can keep watching if you really want. 

Patton only watches a few videos before moving away.

Once Janus comes back he asks where was Virgil.

Awkward suspenseful silence.

“It doesn’t matter, can you help me grab this box here?”

Uh oh a mystery is afoot. 

Patton helps him move for the rest of the day but he manages to run into Logan as he makes himself a tea as he goes to bed. 

Of course he tells him about this and how he’s a little worried how Janus didn’t answer his question. 

Logan is obviously like... “Uh you could ask Virgil or Remus himself?”

And Patton is then like “yoU’RE A GENUIS!”

The next day, as he makes breakfast, he asks Virgil very casually what his childhood was like. 

Virgil replies quite generically really.

He at first was like... “uh normal?” but once they really start talking then Virgil explains more specific memories like how Janus always made the best pancakes and how there was a really tall tree in the garden he always wanted to climb but he was scared he would get in trouble. 

Patton loosens up completely and just presumes that Janus was only awkward since Virgil did leave the dark side. Nothing bad happened in his childhood then!

He then commented whether he liked being brothers with Remus and Virgil looks at him like he’s insane.

“I never really even saw Remus! I think Janus tried to introduce us once but he upset me or something so we never tried again. I think the next time we really saw each other was when Thomas was an adult.”

Weird but maybe that was just their family.

Patton definitely feels better now but also he’s now all nostalgic so he goes to ask Remus about the childhood.

That’s when the mystery is again afoot. 

Remus presents THE EXACT SAME MEMORIES. WORD BY WORD.

“I never really even saw Virgil! I think Janus tried to introduce us once but he upset me or something so we never tried again. I think the next time we really saw each other was when Thomas was an adult.”

Patton panics and obviously Remus picks up on this.

Patton tells him that him and Virgil worded things the exact same way and that Janus even raising two kids completely separated while still tucking them goodnight at the exact same time was impossible. 

Remus goes all quiet.

“Well, you know how Janus is denial and stuff. He can make you forget memories and fill in the gaps himself. Sometimes he lets you just fill in the blanks yourself but if it’s really bad then he’ll make fake memories. He always swore up and down he would never do that to us. I always knew that was a lie. I just couldn’t figure out what was fake...”

Remus looks so accepting and dejected that Patton swears to get to the bottom of this. 

This is kinda where things get fuzzy and I don’t know specifics for how this story will work. 

Eventually it’s revealed that after the split, Remus was really really unstable. 

Children don’t really have many intrusive thoughts (obviously unless they’ve gone through some trauma).

So Remus’ role was all over the place and he was just really dissociative and behind. 

Eventually one day, Remus split apart again. 

Intrusive thoughts are defined as thoughts that cause anxiety and, within children, anxiety appears through intrusive thoughts. Anxiety defines intrusive thoughts and Anxiety takes the form of intrusive thoughts. They can’t exist without the other.

So when Remus split again to separate him and Anxiety, Janus just kind of lost it. 

Janus has no idea why they split into two since Remus did previously encompass both. Admittedly not well but they managed! He has no idea what changed...

But he tried to take it in stride.

Only now they were both unstable.

Some days he would wake up to two excited children and other days he had one child and then other days they were conjoined twins. 

They would finish each other’s sentences and they both couldn’t talk at the same time.

Sometimes Janus would ask a question to Remus and Virgil in another room would answer, but Remus would then think that he answered. 

They were just both way too unstable. 

They were separated but yet were clearly meant to be one side. Janus eventually started seeing them both as broken. Why would they have separated when that only worsened things. 

This continued until Thomas was a teenager (I’m thinking like 14, quite a young teen).

Then Janus put his foot down and separated them in the hopes that they would develop on their own and be more stable.

This ruined them.

They were inconsolable. They could barely pay attention, it worsened every previous symptom and now they couldn’t even have comfort in each other.

Janus broke down too.

He had no idea what to do. They had to develop on their own but this was ripping them apart more. But he couldn’t go back now as they were furious at him for doing this. He sobbed once he came up with his plan. 

He put them in denial about their link and planted fake memories of a childhood. 

Now they both think that they never knew each other or actively despised each other. 

Here’s where I don’t really know about an ending.

I like the idea of ending it here. A horrible ending of knowing they are in denial but it’s for the “better” and it would now cause more harm to let them know. 

But I also like the idea of them both realising and remembering and so they become really close all over again.

It leads to fun interactions like “Rem, can you shut up! It’s my time for the braincell!”/ “No I’m in the middle of something here!”

Or maybe the idea that now they’re both stable, they can fuse into one stable side again?

So there it is. For some reason, I just can’t write this out without it being really clunky. Obviously, considering I don’t even know what the ending should be. I feel like this would be a really fun thing to make art or a comic from but I can’t art. And I can’t imagine trying to design a Remus with a dash of Virgil. Like firstly you have to design a baby Remus but then also give him Virgil vibes! 

To ramble for a sec, I do have the idea of them dressing like a knight rather than Remus’ usual outfit. That like tunic with a hood fulfils the fantasy side with Remus and the hood being the hiding in clothes aspect with Virgil. Then you could do really funky armour based on Remus’ logo. But again, I can’t even picture what that would look like let alone actually art that. 

[artsybi]

i think i was kinder to remus as a character before i realized that i had intrusive thoughts.

like, i only recently realized that those thoughts i get that make me want to rip my brain out of my skull are intrusive thoughts, and before then i didn’t really conceptualize what remus represented, if that makes sense?

like, yeah, i got that he was upsetting and such, i watched the episode, but like, i saw him as just another character, right?

but then i realized what intrusive thoughts actually are and. . .

so at the height of my sanders sides hyperfixation i created my own sides. annie, my anxiety, daisy, my deceit, and. . . irene, my intrusive thoughts. (they’re really the only relevant ones for this post.)

and i kinda use them as a way to dissociate from my illogical reactions and stuff, right? when i got anxious for no reason i gave that feeling to annie instead, then asked her to calm down, and explained why she shouldn’t be overly anxious, it helped. i gave daisy a lot of the traits i noticed in myself that related to lying, she lies for attention and doesn’t think out these lies and freezes when she’s called out, and through that i’ve managed to work past some of that toxic and attention seeking behavior.

but irene is. . . different than annie or daisy. because unlike with annie and daisy, i can’t find it in myself to be kind to irene. because with annie and daisy they have roots in myself, my anxiety, my toxic relationship with lying, they’re things i can separate from myself, while still seeing the tracks they’ve made in me as a person, but irene isn’t like that, she’s the very personification of thoughts that do not come from me, and thoughts that i cannot control.

and it’s changed the way i view remus as well, because before i realized i had intrusive thoughts, i thought of him as like, goblin trash man, y’know? like, he was this minor annoyance, but he was largely harmless, and i could kinda have fun with him in canonverse and au alike, but after i realized i have intrusive thoughts and i built irene and i started like, “interacting” with her, like, i can note to myself that i’m cruel to her, but she’s crueler to me, so i don’t feel bad about it, but it’s changed how i view remus, because he’s less “the cousin who’s been to jail” and is more like, “pure evil villain who torments you because it fuels him”

like before i could be nicer to him, y’know? i thrive on sympathetic janus content, and i thrived on sympathetic remus content in the same way for a while, but while janus and daisy may not be the same, they’re similar, so i can be kind to him, because i recognize in him traits that i, and daisy by proxy, exhibit, sure, he might not be the best all the time, but he’s trying, and that’s clear, he’s doing his job, trying to keep thomas and the other sides safe. but remus and irene? while they too are not exactly the same, they’re of the same stock, built from the same template. i put irene and remus next to each other and it’s like seeing double. so while i might laugh at remus’ “jeffrey daahmer!” in the moment, it’s far far less funny coming from irene at three am. in him i see a lot of my own intrusive thoughts, and seeing him as such makes me far less willing to see him in a sympathetic light. 

oh sure, au fics are largely fine, he’s roman’s trash man twin, that’s how siblings are, but canonverse? i now have a really hard time accepting him as a sympathetic figure, because all i can think about are my own intrusive thoughts, and it’s no longer a fun character getting redeemed after being misguided or whatever, it’s someone, unintentionally, telling me that i should just accept that my intrusive thoughts are part of me and are as important or critical to me as my logic, creativity, or anxiety. see the dissonance there?

and i know that fic writers are not trying to tell me that i need to accept my intrusive thoughts, they’re just trying to let a character go through a character arc, i’m not blaming those fic writers, it’s just subtext, i guess, and it’s something that i’ve noticed recently.

i don’t really have a point, it’s just, weird and vaguely uncomfortable to see “soft boy” remus content after realizing i have intrusive thoughts, and i have no idea how i’d feel if people tried to make irene into a “soft girl”.

i don’t know, it’s strange.

[singeramg]

Congratulations on your 500 followers! I would like to make a request for 9 .“Just don’t break anything…again!” with Henry. Thank you!

Hey world! Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA when it comes to writing, or at least posting! Don’t worry continuations of my WIP’s are coming but I also wanted to challenge myself to break my mold of writing and try to have a little fun. Also I wanted to show my appreciation of all of you and your support of what I do!

So to anon this is something from my Fluff! Henry collection! I hope you enjoy it as much as I had fun with it!

Title: Lava and Kids Don’t Mix

Characters: Dad!Henry Cavill x Female Reader

Prompt: “Just Don’t Break Anything...Again!”

Rating: G!

Warning: None, just fluff, mention of injury, and a slightly broody Cavill man.

MasterList for more fun!

Henry Cavill was in a panic. 

You only had one rule before you left to spend the day with his mother. Leaving him in charge of your two 5 year old  twin boys Mitchell and Michael for the day. He was supposed to keep it simple, take the boys to the park with Kal and your 2 year old Jack Terrier Russell Sandy. You knew the boys would run off all access energy at the park and after they ate the soup and sandwiches you made for all of them before you left, they would down for their nap, and you would be home and starting dinner just after they woke up.

Simple plan right?

Right?

Wrong.

Needless to say things didn’t anyways go to plan in the Cavill household when dealing with two rambunctious twins that looked and acted like their father and two dogs, and also an unexpected rainstorm that shortened the park trip that saw the Cavill men playing the floor is lava, while Henry warmed up the soup in the kitchen. Ignoring the roughhousing like he tended to do when you weren’t around because he grew up with four brothers and “boys will be boys.” Of course Mitchell managed to miss the couch cushions he was supposed to land on, and landed on his left arm and on top of his brother. The subsequent scream of pain sent Henry flying from the kitchen, and to his horror found two crying kids on the floor. One holding his arm hollering and the other reeling from his brother landing halfway on him, therefore he was crying too. Henry runs back to the stove switching it off and then running back over to his children which now had a dog sniffing at their faces. Henry picks up Michael first sitting him on the couch and his whimpers are already settling down but Mitchell was still hollering and holding his arm.

“Oh no.”

Henry picks up Michell off the floor who curls into his father's side.

“Mitchell can I see your arm?”

Slowly; the still whimpering child lifts his arm, and the second Henry delicately touches the arm, it sends Mitchell into a scream of pain and fresh tears.

Oh dear.

He notes the boy’s arm has begun to swell and is awfully red. He carries him into the kitchen and puts a ice pack on it and knows he is going to have to take him to the hospital.

In the biggest rush known to man he gathers the twins and puts an SOS to you. Tossing things around the house until he located his wallet, and keys, just avoiding a vase on the table, that you loved. His son hollers louder held in his arms.

You were going to kill him.

You literally left the house with a  “ Just don’t break anything again” as a joke but now it looked like it was coming true...

*Hospital*

The small group was ushered back fairly quickly into a room and for once Henry was slightly glad of his celebrity when it came to his family. He often was irritated when he found intrusive photographs of his family plastered all over the web but this time one look at his license had gotten them into a private room and waiting for Mitch to come back from X-rays. He had called you on the way to the hospital, but you didn’t answer so he left a message and tried his mother with the same result. He had tried a few times but he knew coverage could be spotty and he wasn’t exactly sure of what his mother planned for you. He knew you would feel terrible about not answering not to mention he hated putting you through undo stress because you were carrying the third child of the Cavill brood. That had been the only reason you even went today was to get a breather without a five year old pulling at your skirts, especially since he had just gotten back from filming just over a week ago.

Yep. You just might kill him…

At least he thought. He always worried as a father about his children and where you were concerned he wanted to be everything he couldn’t be when he was away filming. You were such a wonderful mother and he just wanted to match what you did for the family. This was not it.

 Mike is sleepily resting on Henry’s arm as his brief stint with crying had left him knackered. Henry happens to look down at the arm that Mitchell landed on and noticed he is starting to bruise over his arm. Henry is just beginning to look over his sons arm for the extent of the damage when simultaneously while he was touching Mike’s forearm ; there is a similar spot to his brother’s just on the opposite arm that is red and swollen and soon as he touches it gently, Mike cries out; waking up from his sleep, and also you walk in the door.

Alarmed to find one of her sons crying. Mike notices you almost instantly, crying and running over to you.

“Oh my little man what’s the matter?”

“Daddy hurt my arm!” The young boy calls out and wants the comfort of your arms but of course you couldn’t lift him. Normally you would get onto him about that, but that could be saved for later. Besides he was child so his thoughts would be more literal meaning that Henry must have touched his arm or something. 

You lean down as best you could with your 6 month stomach which was reaching the point of cumbersome, but not making you totally immobile as it did with the twins at this point, squatting so you are eye level with him and he wraps himself around you, letting you gently lift his arm. He starts hollering at your slight touch coming further into the room with his mother and father close behind.

You only had one rule really when you left the house this morning and that was for Henry not to break anything...again! However considering you had known whatever happened in your way here, this was a mistake.

The last time you left them alone for an extended amount of time the TV had been broken during a game of catch that you had already told them not to play in the house the night before you went out for the Bridal Shower.

Needless to say you hadn’t been happy with the situation at the time and it was a material thing that could be replaced. Now here you were coming to a hospital cradling one child while the other...wait...where was Mitchell?

“Daddy hurt your arm? I think that may not be the whole truth but it’s okay we can deal with it later. Okay well let’s see if we can get a really nice doctor to take a look at it and I’ll talk to Daddy.”

You say comforting him and pretending to be mad at Henry who honestly already looks wrecked about whatever had happened between the time that you left and now. You press the call button and someone comes in almost immediately which notoriously did not happen; but you weren’t complaining. You asked for them to take a look at Mike as well. They agreed without much problem and after creating a little band for his wrist they agreed to X-ray him and gave him something for his pain.

You waddle over to the chair next to Henry who actually picks up Mike and lets him sit on his lap. He says his hellos to his parents who know the look of exhaustion and being resigned to fate way too well. They take seats as well.

“So where’s the other half of our set?”

You mildly joke.

“He should be back any moment; they’ve taken him to get an X-Ray.”

At that moment a wheel chair appears with a sleepy child in it, his blue eyes drifting in and out of lucidness.

“Moooommmmmmy!!!!”

He says but his voice is dragging indicating they had given him something to ease the pain. You let the nurse help him into bed and go over to him while Henry’s parents take over for comforting Mike.

“Hi baby. How’s your arm?”

“It was hurt-ed momma but it’s not anymore. I feels weird. I sleepy.”

You push back his riotous, dark curls with a soft hand.

“Okay baby go to sleep; Daddy and mommy will be here when you wake up.”

He drifts off and the nurse comes to take Mike for his X-Ray and with the alert child gone; a worried grandfather in tow to watch over him and the other sleeping, you sit back down with a sore back and a smile.

“So what really happened in the couple of hours I was gone.”

Henry looks sheepish; and rubs the back of his neck., his natural curls smushing under his fingers.

“Well we went to the park, but the rain washed us out earlier than intended. So we went back to the house and I cut on a movie, but the boys were playing and the floor was lava and the next thing I heard was a scream...”

“Wait...’the floor is lava’?”

“Yes. Our floors are made of lava and seeing as you can’t touch lava it meant jumping around while I warmed up lunch.”

You sigh but one look at the giant puppy that was your husband, you knew he honestly couldn’t feel any worse than what was happening right now. You were just glad no one had head injuries or irreversible damage. You absently rub your stomach and place a hand on a broad shoulder.

“I feel terrible Y/N. I didn’t think a little rough housing would come to this. My brothers and I had injuries but it was usually from tossing each other around and Rugby. Somehow we managed to avoid the hospital due to our roughhousing.”

You sit up and kiss your husband on the cheek. Henry was an internalizer, so you knew if he looked this upset right now then he felt 100 times worse inside.

“Things happen baby it will be okay. If it makes you feel any better they would have created an even more perilous game. They like to invent new ways to make me tear out my hair.”

The room laughs;

“They don’t normally end up in the emergency room when they are with you...or do they?”

He asks and you laugh shaking your head.

“No, but I’ve had a few close calls that made me question whose bright idea was it to have multiple children at the same time. They can be a handful individually. Babe, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

You rub at his shoulder as a comfort. Henry accepts it and caresses the top with his own. Soon Mike is in a similar state as his brother and they got him in a bed next to him. With both of them unconscious the doctor comes back in with X-ray reports that says both of them have a broken arm.

You sigh and Henry looks devastated and you only shake your head knowing the twins never did anything by the half’s nor did they ever do anything alone.

“I guess the Cavill men don’t do anything by the half huh. I asked all of them not to break anything and they managed it times two.”

A/N: This was meant to be fluff about a peak in the life of Henry Cavill with Children. 

More celebration prompt fics will be posted when I wake up in the am because after work today I just do not have it in me to edit anything else tonight, but I hope you enjoyed this for what it is.

TAGLIST: (OPEN)

Henry tag list

@msblkfire84 @magdelen69 @peeyewpeeyew @agniavateira @fcgrizi @diehadess @mary-ann84 @snowbellexx @tearsontape13 @tvdplusriverdale @p3nny4urth0ught5 @laxgirl1799 @crazymexicanfangirl @iloveyouyen @oddduckthatgirl @pinkcollectorparadiseblr @sweetybuzz25 @normatural

[mourntheantagonist]

Chapter 5

Read on AO3

1988: P.I.R. Day 1

“Bill, it’s raining.”

Billy looks over to his boyfriend who sits in the passenger seat with a pout on his face. The rain is coming down as barely even a sprinkle. More like a mist. Windshield wipers only useful every five minute.

“Someone’s observant.”

Steve scoffs and crosses his arms. He’s been in a mood since they got up this morning. Steve was all packed and ready for a long weekend trip only to find out that the track was only a whopping ten minute drive from their house.

“Where else did you think the Portland International Raceway was located?”

Steve just dropped his duffle to the ground and walked out the front door and jumped into the Camaro. Leaving the cup of coffee Billy had poured him sitting on the counter to grow cold.

Billy knew not to look too much into things like this with Steve. He was by no means a morning person and even though the droplets were small, rain always put him in a bad mood.

It reminded him too much of Hawkins. Not memories of good days out with friends or at parties getting shitfaced. It reminded him of the days spent inside by himself as he watched raindrops drip on the window pane. Alone in his huge house. Nothing to do but stare at the puddles forming in potholes and being heavily reminded of his loneliness.

Rain put him in a bad mood. It really didn’t help that they lived in the Pacific Northwest, where rain was almost an everyday thing. But today it was a little more than just the rain. It was that Billy would be racing in the rain. Steve didn’t like that at all.

Billy oh so regrets telling Steve about the guy who spun out and crashed into a wall just two races ago. Because of the rain he hydroplaned and couldn’t stop himself. But Steve won’t listen to the rest of the story. Won’t listen to the fact that the guy has a history of pulling shit like this. Doesn’t take the road conditions into account ever. And he was fine! The car barely even sustained enough damage to warrant repair. Just a dent that was easily pulled out and a couple chips off the paint.

Steve wants nothing more than for Billy to turn the car right around. Drive out to Peet’s and fuel him with some caffeine, considering he’d abandoned the one at home in an attempt to make a point to Billy.

But he’s not going to ask him to do that. But he’s definitely not going to let Billy think he’s okay with what he’s doing.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll go slow.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “For you, slow is five over.”

“I’ll turn around if you’re really that upset about it.”

Steve wants to scream ‘Yes! Please turn around’, but he doesn’t want to be the reason for that. Doesn’t want to be the wall standing in between Billy doing what he wants to do. He wants Billy to put up those walls himself, for himself. Value his own safety and livelihood just a little bit.

Was Steve being overdramatic? Probably. But cut him some slack. It’s eight in the morning, rain is coming down, Billy refuses to run the heat in the car, and he’s tired. Should have just drank the damn coffee.

They pull into the venue and it is absolutely nothing like the last race. Trees are replaced by buildings. The hum of traffic on the interstate is deafening. They are unmistakably still smack dab in the middle of the city, and not in Nowheresville, Washington. There’s people standing around engaged in conversation. Easily able to differentiate between locals and tourists by whether or not they’re standing under the canopy. True Oregonians don’t even own umbrellas.

Sure, they’re technically locals, but Steve still rushed from the safety of the car to one of the covered areas, pulling his flannel up and over his head. Have to protect the hair.

Billy followed shortly after, Steve’s raincoat in hand because Billy remembered to grab it. Steve always forgets. Steve begrudgingly takes it from Billy’s hands and puts it on. It’s hard to stay mad at someone when they keep being so considerate. But Steve does have a special talent for that.

“Come on you big fucking baby, let’s go get you some coffee. They’re selling some at concessions.”

Steve’s head jerks around quick enough to cause minor whiplash.

“Wait, there's concessions?”

“Yes. Not every race is just a bunch of dudes in a parking lot.”

“Is there food?”

Billy just huffs out a laugh and pulls Steve by the collar of his jacket out into the rain and towards the little concession stand by the bleachers. If there’s one way to get Steve out of a bad mood, it’s directly through his stomach.

Billy bought him a cup of coffee with extra creamer – he was still working on that – and a croissant. Steve didn’t need to know that they weren’t freshly made and came directly out of a Costco container. As his stomach filled and his body warmed up from the hot drink in his hand, his bad mood started to fade. And just like Steve, the earth had a mood change as well. Clouds parting, letting in a glimpse of sun as the rain halted.

“Look Steve, no more rain.”

“The ground is still wet.”

Billy just dramatically threw his hands in the air. “Barely!” He exclaimed. “Just relax and finish your croissant. I’m gonna go register.”

Steve nods and watches Billy walk away, leaving him there by himself. Coffee in one hand, half of a croissant in the other. Left to his own thoughts. His weird intrusive thoughts. Like if someone were to push him over, which would he save? The coffee or the croissant? He should just finish the croissant so he doesn’t have to ponder that question. He never liked the trolley problem.

He looks to the sky, watching the clouds continue to part revealing bright blue skies and the bright sun overhead. It was nice, but they lived here long enough to know not to hold their breath. Portland rain was indecisive. It would be pouring buckets one minute, and sunny clear skies the next.

It’s why you would never catch a local with an umbrella. It’s pointless unless you plan to lug it around with you all year long. It’s better to learn to accept and even appreciate damp clothes and damp hair. That last part was definitely taking Steve some time to come to grips with.

The line Billy’s in was long. And he didn’t appear to be anywhere close to the front. That’s the reason the sudden hand on his shoulder startled him. Was he actually going to have to decide which to save?

But he turns around to see Gerry. Five foot three and a hundred and ten pounds of pure bullishness. Steve would be lying through his teeth if he were to say he wasn’t absolutely terrified of the old woman.

“Good to see ya here kid. Thought you’d been scared off after the first race.”

Steve’s mouth hangs open just slightly. It’s too early for him to talk to people. Luckily he realizes he’s been just standing there like an idiot after just a few seconds.

“Oh. Uh. Yeah. I just have a crazy work schedule. This was the first time I could have the weekend off.”

“That’s good. Was startin’ to worry the two of you had broke it off. Glad to see ya didn’t.” She pats his shoulder a little hard. Not really expecting it he stumbles slightly.

He momentarily freaks at the comment. Forgetting for a second that Billy had told her. He allows himself to smile when it comes back to him. Enjoying the acceptance from the old woman. Ahead of her time. Reminding himself why he said he liked her.

“Okay. Since I have you alone, I have to ask. I have a theory and I need you to confirm it.” Steve throws her a quizzical look and takes a sip of his coffee. “What’s Hargrove like in the sack?”

Steve nearly does a spit take.

He manages to swallow the coffee in one aggressive gulp before actually bursting out into a fit of laughter.

“I’m sorry. Uh. Could you maybe elaborate? Are you asking about our... positions?”

“Oh god. No. Please don’t tell me that.”

Steve never thought he’d see that lady blush. But she was. Blushing. Cherry red all over her cheeks.

“My theory is that his little tough guy act don’t make it past the bedroom door.”

“Oh! Okay. Umm.” Steve was slightly uncomfortable. Discussing not his sex life with a woman be barely knew, but Billy’s sex life. But Steve was still hanging on to that grudge and thought, what harm is there? “He’s definitely not as aggressive, but I wouldn’t go as far to say he’s entirely submissive.”

“So he’s not a pillow princess?”

Steve raises his eyebrows and chuckles.

“Sometimes.”

Now Gerry has burst into laughter. Almost tearing up. Steve never would have thought this is the kind of conversation he’d be having at eight thirty in the morning in the middle of a parking lot surrounded by conservative men in their forties and fifties.

And then there’s someone else standing next to them. Long dirty blond hair. Unmistakably Billy.

“What are you guys laughing at?” Billy asks. Not at all amused.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, princess.” Gerry says before slapping a hand two times against his cheek and walking off without another word.

Billy looks completely dumbfounded. Steve is desperately trying to hold in another laugh.

“Did she just call me princess?”

“Hey shouldn’t we be walking the course right about now?”

Billy takes the half eaten croissant from Steve’s hand and takes a bite before handing it back.

And with a mouthful of bread he points a finger. “This conversation is not over.”

- : -

They only had the time to walk the course just once. Billy was nervous. Steve could tell. Not just because of that. But because it had started to rain again.

Steve doesn’t like seeing Billy nervous about the rain. He was already nervous enough himself when Billy was all confident with his “it’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing”’s, but if Billy’s nervous, that can’t be good.

By the time they get back to the Camaro, Billy falls into the driver seat with his legs hanging out the open door. His head in his hands breathing slightly chaotic. Something was wrong. More than just the rain.

Steve lays a tentative hand onto Billy’s thigh, but Billy quickly and swiftly slaps the hand away.

“Don’t touch me. We’re in public!”

Okay. Something was really wrong.

Because not ten minutes ago they were just fine being touchy. Sure they were very PG and platonic. But Billy seemed to be okay with it so long as it was nothing too suspicious. A hand on a thigh might seem a little too suggestive if you don’t counter in the fact that there was literally nobody near and the car door shielded the act entirely from view.

But Steve chose not to take it personally. Because something happened in that little head of his as soon as the rain started. Something Steve was not yet privy to.

“Billy. Relax. I’m gonna get in and we’re gonna talk it out, okay?”

Billy nodded his head. Breaths still shaky with a hint of anger as he tossed his legs into the vehicle and slammed his door shut. Okay maybe a little more than a hint.

Once Steve was inside he took a tight hold of Billy’s hand. Trying to calm his erratic breathing. It seems to help slightly. Enough for Billy to actually hear the words coming out of Steve’s mouth.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Billy looks at him. His eyes stone cold. “It’s fucking raining.”

“Someone’s observant.”

“Shut up.”

Steve pulls their clasped hands to where they are now resting on Steve’s thigh. Wrapping a second hand around the two so Billy’s is fully encompassed.

“That didn’t seem to bother you an hour ago. Why now?”

Billy tosses his head back against the headrest. Shutting his eyes tightly and inhaling sharply through his nose.

“You! You made me fucking nervous, Steve. I have never given the rain a second thought until you. And now I can barely remember the course, and I have to run on street tires, and it’s fucking raining! And you’re here to watch and now I’m nervous.”

Steve’s look at Billy softens. Because it makes sense. And god Steve feels awful because it was his grumpy attitude that caused all of this.

“Bills, if I thought your life was actually in danger I would have had you turn the car around when you asked. I was just in a pissy mood, okay?” Steve squeezes tighter. “I believe in you, princess.”

That pulls Billy out of his haze for just a moment. “Okay what the fuck inside joke is this?”

“If you do well today, maybe, I’ll tell you.”

“Bribery huh? Didn’t think that was your style.”

Aw. There’s the Billy he knows and unfortunately loves.

“Come on, let’s get those brand new numbers on your car.”

“Kiss me first, shithead.”

So Steve does. Leaning over the stick shift, planting a quick and wet kiss straight to Billy’s lips. Not the kiss Billy wants. But that’s all Steve’s going to give.

- : -

To both of their surprise, Billy doesn’t spin. Actually, he’s one of the only drivers who didn’t spin.

And fortunately, nobody crashed today. Not even Dwight.

Steve didn’t ride with Billy today. Not wanting to add to the stress. Even if it wasn’t a timed run.

And Billy came in first. Even if he drove slower than his liking. All of the DNF’s, missed gates, and hit cones playing in his own favor. And shit, Steve owes him some information, and maybe a better kiss.

The second run group was on course straight away, giving Billy and him absolutely zero time to even speak before Billy was being summoned to his work assignment. So Steve just parked himself at one of the picnic tables in the covered area. Ignoring the fact that his boyfriend was putting himself in front of reckless drivers on wet pavement. Shoving down the thought of “what could go wrong” as far as it would fucking go.

No. No. No. The only car Billy would be going home in would be the Camaro. Not an ambulance.

The sounds of screeching tires against wet asphalt did not cure the thought. Painstakingly resisting every urge to turn his head every time he heard so much as an “ooh” from an onlooker.

He sat there. Sipping on his now lukewarm coffee and searching the wooden planks of the picnic table for hidden shapes. Just like he would with the clouds if they weren’t just one gray blob.

And time manages to pass by quickly with just that to occupy his time. He hears the engines shut off and the announcer call something over the loudspeaker. He doesn’t know what, but the tone of his voice made it sound like a finale.

He’s tossing his nearly empty coffee cup in the garbage can when Billy comes up from behind him.

“Hey, before we go, wanna feel like you’re in high school again?” Billy asks, discreetly pulling at his sleeve.

“Why on earth would I want to do that?”

“Just trust me.”

Steve gives him a weird look but follows Billy under the bleachers that face the real racetrack. The one people actually come here for. Not a parking lot.

You can barely see anything but rusted metal from where they’re standing. Steve pieces it together fairly quickly.

“You bring me under here to kill me?”

“Just shut up and fucking kiss me.”

Billy was right. It totally does feel like high school. The good parts. Sneaking girls under the bleachers on the football field. But this felt ten times better. Because it was Billy. Not just some girl he only got with to prove something to Tommy H.

It’s like they were in their own little corner of the world. Perfectly concealed and able to love one another publicly but privately at the same time.

Steve’s tugging at Billy’s hair and Billy’s tugging at his. He’d be upset if it hadn’t already been messed up by the rain earlier.

Their hands are moving haphazardly but their lips and tongues have found a rhythm. Slowly interlocking and fulfilling their every need.

“God I love you.” Steve breathes against Billy’s mouth.

“Tell me what princess means.”

Steve had nearly forgotten.

“Something relating to your pillow.”

Billy stalls for a second before completely stepping away from Steve.

“You did not tell her that.”

Steve doesn’t respond. Just raises his eyebrows and stands his ground. The look says I sure did.

“I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.”

And Billy just moves back in, pulling him by the collar, and kisses him. Inhaling sharply. Breathing in all that is Steve.

“You know you love it when I just lay there.”

“Yeah. I do.”

[shiemishuzenji]

100 OC Question Meme!

created by marchenvillain <3

Your Wings edition: Shiemi Shuzenji!

1. What’s a unique skill they have? Is their any reason why they can do it? Shiemi can harness the power of the sun in order to heal wounds. Her Quirk is a mixture of her mother’s (who can bend light) and grandmother’s (who can heal wounds). 

2. What are their favourite possessions? Why? (sentimentality, history, price, etc) The necklace that Hawks gave her is very important to her. She sees it like a symbol of their love. 

3. Do they get jealous easily? If so, what usually causes it? She gets insecure, but she never acts on her jealousy. Often times, if women fawn over Hawks, she gets all up in her feels.

4. Are they a good gift-giver? What do they tend to give as gifts? She’s more of a practical gift giver. She pays attention to what someone really needs and she’ll get it for them.

5. What’s their reputation like? Does this reputation contrast what they’re really like? People (especially when she worked in the hospital) hail her as a good doctor but one with little to no social skills. She’s quiet, so a lot of people think she’s mean. Others, like her old boss, like her polite and respectable nature. 

6. Do they prefer to have a big social circle, or a few close friends? Definitely a few close friends. She’s content with Aizawa, Kayama, and Mic. 

7. What’s their “type”? What romantically attracts them to another person? Men who are confident! If one looks at her track record, her old boyfriends in high school were all jocks who loved the limelight. Hawks is cocky, but a lot of that haughtiness is a facade. She loves that he knows how to tone it down and come back to Earth. 

8. What does their dream house look like? She’s a simple woman: a modern white home with a huge lawn for a garden. She’s always wanted to plant sunflowers. I’m a huge horror fan, so for some reason, I’m envisioning the villa from The Human Centipede… Just the outside! eheh... is that weird?

9. If they could change one part of their appearance, what would it be? Shiemi is actually very lithe; her mother says she’s got no meat on her bones. She would love to bulk up! Also, her cup size is a B. She would change that, too, if she could.

10. What’s a simple thing that brings them joy? Well, Shiemi’s love language is acts of service. It really warms her heart when people help do things with or for her!

11. What is their dream pet? A cat! A fluffy white one. Maybe Aizawa had some influence on her? ❤️

12. What’s their position in their friend group? (leader, mom friend, chaos goblin, etc) The voice of reason. She likes to have practical fun! She’s not as rigid as Aizawa, but nowhere near as wild as Mic.

13. How forgiving are they? What do they consider unforgivable? Shiemi is definitely forgiving, so much so that it is sometimes her downfall. However, she believes there is no excuse for villainy.

14. Who do they go to in a crisis/emergency? Any particular reason why they choose that person? Hmmm, it’s funny because most people go to her in an emergency since she’s got that nifty healing Quirk haha! Shiemi has plenty of people to depend on like Midnight or Recovery Girl, but Hawks is the one she always turns to when she needs saving.

15. How good are they at conversation? Are they a small talk master, bad at initiating, etc? The only person she likes to make small talk with is Hawks, really. She’s not much a talker, and prefers to let others do the talking. This is why she and Aizawa click so well because they both can appreciate silence.

16. What food do they absolutely hate? She actually doesn’t care for greasy foods. Pizza, for example, upsets her tummy. 

17. Do they show a lot of affection, or are they pretty reserved? She’s not into PDA, but she loves to be held and kissed. When she’s sad, she almost always needs a hug. ❤️

18. If you had to represent them with a flower, colour, and animal, what would you choose? I feel like she’s more of a white lily, which I hear symbolizes humility and devotion. Her color would be blush pink, for her more timid nature and her affinity for that color. As for an animal, I think she’d be a snowshoe hare!

19. What’s their unusual quirk? (Quirk with a lowercase q, haha) Shiemi has always had very strong intrusive thoughts, and I’ve made this obvious from the first chapter. I based this on my own struggle with intrusive thoughts, so Shiemi and I can relate on the issue of fighting our inner voices to be better people.

20. Are they easy to wake up in the morning, or grouchy and sleepy? She’s an early bird! Very easy to wake up in the morning.

21. What’s their ideal date like? She loves night walks on the beach followed a busy night of makin’ love ;)

22. What’s their silliest or most unusual fear/phobia? Probably spiders. She’s not the type to scream when she sees one, but if it’s big and hairy, she’ll leave the room.

23. Is their pain tolerance high or low? Pretty low, all things considering. She knows how to fight, she just doesn’t like to because she can’t really handle her own.

24. Are they a fussy eater? Nope! She’ll try just about anything. She understands the importance of eating healthy, so she makes sure to eat her veggies every day. (Unlike me…)

25. What are their dreams like? As the writer, I’ve always made her dreams symbolic. They often reflect her true feelings or the things on her mind.

26. Are they technologically savvy? Yes! Working in the hospital, she’s a quick learner, and working in the hospital, she’s had to learn how to use all the equipment.

27. Are they forgetful? What do they tend to forget? (plans, phone, keys, etc) No, she tries to be very organized. The most that she forgets would be if she’s got a lot of work to do, she might forget one assignment.

28. Describe their morning routine. Open the curtains first (she needs sunlight), drink black coffee, watch the news, take a shower. Suuuper adult of her, I know. She’s a creature of habit!

29. Are they a good cook? If they are, what do they like to make? She’s an okay cook. Certainly not as good as Hawks! She can make basic food, but a lot of it lacks flavor -- something Hawks has had to teach her.

30. Do they consider themselves a “hero” or “villain”? Hero! Definitely. She’ll heal anyone in need, but she works for the heroes, on the side of good.

31. What holiday do they like the most? (Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, etc) Christmas. It’s the one time of year she gets to spend with her whole family. Even though tensions are high, she still loves her family more than anything.

32. What are they like at parties? Party animal, or awkwardly sitting in the corner drinking punch and reading? She’s the wallflower. She’d rather grab a bite to eat and sit back, people-watching.

33. Are they adventurous, or do they prefer to stay in their safe zone? She prefers to live life on the safe side. Though life with Hawks definitely makes things exciting!

34. What’s their favourite drink? (Coffee, tea, juice, hot chocolate, soda, etc) She loves coffee; preferably black coffee. Her go-to drink at Starbucks is a venti black cold brew or a cappuccino.

35. Are they good with children? Yes! Her serene nature tends to calm kids down. She especially used to love healing kids at the hospital.

36. Do they trust easily? What would you have to do to earn their trust? She’s normally very wary of people. She automatically has her guard up when approached by someone new, but honestly it doesn’t take much for her to let down her guard. For example, she was cautious of Twice when she met him, but once she saw that he and Mr. Compress needed help, she immediately dropped everything to help. Blame her big heart, I guess!

37. Are they a hopeless romantic, or is that stuff just not for them? God, YES!! When she first met Hawks, she tried to act all tough, but she’s such a SAP! In her relationships, she devotes everything to her significant other.

38. Do they get lost easily, or are they good with directions? Nah, she’s great with directions. She tries to have a good understanding of her surroundings.

39. Are they superstitious? She doesn’t believe in superstitions; she’s more of a woman of science.

40. Do they like physical activity, or staying inside? She enjoys a bit of both. She especially likes to go for walks, but doesn’t mind spending the whole day inside reading a book.

41. What would they dress up as for Halloween? A zombie nurse -- and I mean that in the laziest way possible. She would put on her uniform and paint her face and call it a day haha

42. Do they like fast food, or fancy restaurants? Fancy restaurants, for sure. She’s a bit of a snob. She’ll eat fast food if she’s on the go, but she grew up in the lap of luxury, and really enjoys the finer things in life.

43. Are they a chaotic bastard, pure angel baby, or tired mom friend? Pure angel baby. SHIEMI MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS.

44. Do they have a good attention span? Yes, especially when it comes to her friends. She’ll sit there and listen to someone talk for hours.

45. Are they always late, on time, or early? Shiemi thinks that if you’re not 15 minutes early, then you’re late.

46. Do they cry, gasp, laugh, etc, while reading a book, or do they remain relatively stone-faced? Stone-faced. She might furrow her brow if she’s into it, but she’s more internal with her reactions.

47. Do they keep a diary? She stopped carrying a diary when she was a teenager and her parents read through it without her permission.

48. How dramatic are they? She’s not haha She cries easily, but that’s just because she feels very deeply.

49. Do they put a lot of effort into their appearance, or do they just make themselves presentable and go? She’s comfortable with her looks, so she mostly curls her bangs and thinks it good to go.

50. Why would they be a good partner for a road trip? She would be president of the backseat! Delivering snacks, giving directions, listening to you talk and talk for hours!

51. Why would they be a BAD partner for a road trip? She’s not much for small talk. If it gets quiet, she’ll let it happen and whip out a book.

52. What topic should nobody bring up around them, lest the other person be subject to a massive ramble/rant? Anything bashing on heroes, or criticizing hero society. She’s so deep in it that she’s blinded to its flaws. She’ll defend Heroes till the day she dies.

53. Are they clumsy? No, she’s too cautious!

54. Are they a law breaker, or stickler for rules? Stickler for the rules. Not as bad as Iida hahaha but she doesn’t do anything she’s not supposed to. Blame her strict upbringing!

55. Choose a vine you think perfectly encapsulates their character. I LOVE THIS QUESTION! I feel like she’s: “Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does >:( ” or “Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, a really good book.” OOH, OR “How do you know what’s good for me? THAT’S MY OPINION!!”

56. Do they like to share? Yes, my girl is very giving  ❤️

57. What’s the most chaotic thing they’ve done? Have sex with a bird man she just healed the night before :U Shiemi has a high sex drive

58. Which friend do they immediately become a zero-braincelled idiot around? She gets all smitten around Hawks tbh She can compose herself around everyone except for him. Then she’s just a puddle of GOO

59. Do they love or hate surprises? She does not like surprises! They make her uncomfortable and awkward.

60. What sappy thing will they cry at? (romance movies, cute cat videos, etc) Would they deny crying about it later on? She’ll cry during sad movies, but she’s stopped being ashamed of being a crybaby

61. What’s their favourite and least favourite subject in school? Health and science are her best subjects, but her favorite was literature! Her least favorite was probably physical education just because it took her away from the books!

62. Do they take a lot of photos? If so, what of? She prefers professional photos; her camera roll is practically empty!

63. Do they wear makeup? Blush, mascara, foundation, but she only ever wears makeup for special occasions.

64. Describe what their social media would be like. Instagram: “NO PHOTOS” but plenty of tagged photos from Mic and Midnight. Facebook: articles on social issues or new medical breakthroughs.

65. Do they give people a lot of nicknames? No, she doesn’t, actually! 

66. What nicknames do others call them by? She thinks it’s sweet when people give nicknames to her -- e.g. “Doc,” “songbird,” or “sunshine.” Side note: I was really into Yagami Yato when I first started writing, so of course Hawks calls her “Baby bird.” And now I really regret not being more original because goddamn... I’m not gonna go back and change it because Yagami doesn’t own the nickname, but just know that I am upset

67. What’s an outrageous story about them nobody believes? Uhh, that’s a great question. I can’t think of anything, to be honest.

68. Are they easy to fluster? What would you have to do to truly fluster them? Yes! Despite being so cool, calm, and collected, it’s easy to make her blush. Hawks is a pro at getting her all worked up!

69. What’s their dream vacation like? She dreams of traveling, preferably somewhere along the Caribbean islands where she can bask in the sun and discover new plants and creatures.

70. Are they a good liar? She is a notoriously bad liar, mostly because it eats her away inside. She can make a lie work if she commits to it enough, but she’ll always come out with it eventually.

71. What do they want to do in the future? She wants a family. She’s always wanted to be a working woman and come home after a long day to her family. She wishes that a certain someone would be a stay-at-home dad...

72. How do they feel about love? Again, she’s a hopeless romantic. She believes in having strong bonds with both family and friends, but she does dedicate most of her energy into her romantic relationship. 

73. Are they more book smarts, or street smarts? oh my god, BOOK SMARTS. She wouldn’t last a day on her own out there, but man she could recite a whole scene from Shakespeare if you asked her to.

74. What’s their guilty pleasure? Sex. She doesn’t come off as promiscuous, but she would get some every day if she could.

75. Is there anyone they consider their rival? No, in fact Shiemi tends to keep to herself. She’s respectful and supportive of everyone. She does  have enemies, of course, like Dabi or Mr. Compress.

76. Do they have any notable physical features? Her eyes are described as gray, but they’re more purplish-gray. 

77. What’s their music taste like? Classical music takes up most of the space on her phone; Joe Hisaishi is a composer that she admires a lot.

78. What’s something they’re really bad at? Keeping her opinions to herself. She’s brutally honest, to a fault. 

79. Do they have a good sleep schedule? Yesss, her whole life runs on a schedule!

80. What’s their aesthetic sense like? Oh, I’m not sure how to answer this? 

81. What’s something they’re really proud of? Her degrees and awards make her feel accomplished. She has a hard time seeing her worth, but the diplomas on her wall are proof, to her, of what she can do. 

82. How would they spend a free day? In bed, reading a book, snuggled up beside Hawks  ❤️

83. What are they like as an s/o? Lowkey, kind of clingy. She loves attention and wants to spend all her time with her significant other, doting on them, making them feel good.

84. What’s one thing they like that they don’t want anyone to know about? Her sex drive (> w >);;

85. Do they have a sweet tooth? She doesn’t; she’s more of a savory or salty person. I actually really like this dichotomy between Hawks and Shiemi, for some reason? The fact that she takes her coffee black and he takes his sweet is kind of nice.

86. How would you describe their fashion sense? I once had a beautiful professor at university who only wore maxi skirts and nice blouses. Her fashion sense inspired my vision of Shiemi a lot. If she’s not wearing her hero uniform, you can find her in a pink maxi skirt and a white blouse.

87. Do they like spicy food? She can definitely handle her spice, but she wouldn’t choose it!

88. Are they lucky? Do they believe in luck? By all means, she has the worst luck! Can’t say that she believes in it, though.

89. What would they get into a petty argument over? Shiemi stands her ground on her opinions, but she’s more or less an agreeable person. She doesn’t like to argue or cause tension, but she will if it means standing up for herself.

90. Are they a good artist? She can’t draw and she’s got that doctor handwriting lmao

91. Do they prefer hot or cold weather? Hot! Shiemi’s Quirk is most powerful if she’s in direct sunlight. When the sun is behind the clouds, it takes more energy and time for her to heal someone. Despite all that time in the sun, the poor woman can’t tan!

92. Can they play an instrument? Her parents made her play piano when she was a child, but she doesn’t dabble in it anymore.

93. What type of movies do they like to watch? Romance and mysteries! Her favorite movie is Titanic. She cries every time!

94. What does their room look like? Neat and organized. She’s got a lot of bookshelves in her room and a nice set up for her computer space.

95. How do they feel about bugs? Scared? Fascinated? She’s fascinated by bugs, but from a distance. She won’t touch ‘em!

96. What’s their sense of humour like? (Dad jokes, morbid humour, basic knock-knock jokes, stand up comedy, etc) She laughs really hard at stand up comedy. Since she’s a little more serious, she can appreciate how goofy Hawks is!

97. What do they keep in their bag? Cell phone, earbuds, portable charger, folding scissors for emergencies, Band-Aids, and if she’s not wearing it, she’ll fold up her lab coat and put it in there, too.

98. How competitive are they? She’s only competitive with herself. She doesn’t have to be the best, but she can’t stand being the worst. (I’m the same way.)

99. What would they wear to a formal event? Describe their outfit! She actually wore that beautiful red dress in chapter 10! If you Google “Elizabeth Banks Vanity Fair 2020” it’ll pop up. 

100. If you, the creator, met them, would you two get along? Yes! I think that it’s impossible for any author/creator to make a character without at least adding some personal elements in them. Shiemi isn’t a self-insert, but she and I share a love of reading and we’re both overachievers. So I think she and I would make great friends!

[justwritethatdown]

High school au set somewhere around 2009 - it’s gonna be a multichapter but I don’t have a title for it yet… Avril Lavigne is gonna be the soundtrack for this 💜

Beca is an introverted fifteen years old who loves music and is about to start high school. Chloe is The Popular Girl™ and they meet because their parents are friends. There’s a lot of Jesse but Bechloe is gonna be endgame (obviously) It’s supposed to be a slow burn but i’m an impatient idiot so we’ll see about that…

Words Count: 2K

Rating: T

Read it on AO3 or under the cut ↓ 

Please tell me what is taking place (‘cause I can’t seem to find a trace)

“Bec, can you please be nice tonight? It would mean a lot to Sheila and me" repeated her father for the millionth time. Beca just sighed heavily at that and crossed her arms around her chest. They’ve talked about that ad nauseam, there was no way for her to get out of this stupid dinner at Sheila’s friends.

Sheila – a.k.a. the step monster – was the most irritating being on the planet. Beca was sure she only acted nice to her to make a show for her father and actually hated Beca just as much as Beca hated her.

“Oh come on sweetie, they have a daughter your age, I’m sure you’ll become very fast friends” she promised in that annoying high pitched tone she had “I don’t want to make any friends” Beca grumbled and could swear she heard Sheila whisper something to her father about her being weird and having no friends, but decided to ignore that.

She didn’t need new friends, she had Amy and that was enough – more than enough sometimes – Amy was a lot, mostly to someone as introverted as Beca, her loudness and recklessness were pretty hard to handle, but they knew each other since forever and Amy stood by Beca’s side during her parents’ divorce, which meant the world to Beca.

“Come on kiddo, I’m sure you’ll like her. She goes to Barden high, so you can ask her advices for next year" said her father turning in his seat after parking the car “so she’s older than me!” stated Beca “oh for God’s sake what’s one year, specially at your age?” gasped Sheila, her nice facade starting to crack at Beca’s brattyness “never mind" spat out Beca under her breath getting out of the car.

Her father stopped her when he saw she was about to put her big headphones over her ears “don’t make me take these away from you" he warned her with a glare, so she just snorted and left them hanging around her neck.

__

Beca suffered immensely all through dinner, Chloe – the girl she was supposed to become best friends with to please Sheila – was hideous, she barely introduced herself without stopping pushing the buttons on her Blackberry, obviously more interested in her text than in Beca. Her parents were two pompous idiots – just how Beca imagined Sheila’s friends would be.

As soon as they finished eating, Chloe left the table without even excusing herself, focusing on her phone again.

“Chloe why don’t you show Becky your room, honey?” encouraged Chloe’s mother “sure" answered the redhead without any kind of emotion and left.

Beca gulped, she didn’t know what to do – was she supposed to just follow her? Did she had to wait there for Chloe to come back and invite her to her room? – it was clear that Chloe didn’t want her in her room.

“Beca? Go" pushed her Sheila and the girl found herself following Chloe’s path, she thought she heard someone whisper “that kid is so weird" but she shook it off, too focused on how weird she felt to intrude into a stranger’s room like that.

It turned out that Chloe didn’t mind her intrusion – one could say she didn’t even notice it, if not for the short nod she gave Beca along with a “this is it" before sitting in front of her computer and spending the night chatting on MSN.

After standing awkwardly in Chloe’s room for some moments, Beca decided to sit down on a pink fluffy bean bag sofa and finally put her headphones on. She spent the night with her iPod Classic, as she did most of the times.

Beca had the time to properly look at Chloe, to study her – something she liked to do with people.

The sixteen year old was definitely a popular girl in school – definitely someone Beca would have never wanted to be friends with – she seemed to be coming straight out of Mean Girls – that stupid Lindsey Lohan high school movie Amy made her watch once.

A shiver run down Beca’s spine. She didn’t love the idea of starting high school at all, with all those jocks and beautiful girls who thought they were better than anyone else – Beca could totally see Chloe being one of them.

Chloe was undeniably attractive, the computer light flashing on her face highlighted the perfect traits of her face and the sharp angle of her jawline, her red hair was coming down in large soft waves and her soft blue eyes made her look like a Disney princess. Her slender fingers flew quickly over the keyboard of her computer while she replied to the dozens of beeping notifications blowing up on her screen. Beca had to look away, feeling a weird grasp at her stomach she’d never felt before.

__

To Beca’s displeasure these stupid dinner dates became a thing, and she was forced to see that girl at least a couple of days per month, even if Chloe seemed to have the power to defect those events, since she never showed up when the dinners were at Beca’s father’s.

Beca wasn’t sorry about that, she was just upset she didn’t have the same luxury.

Chloe smiled at her once, greeting her with a soft “hi" when the brunette went to her house to yet another dinner, and Beca kept thinking about how warm that made her feel for a long time – because it caught her off guard obviously, she wasn’t expecting that, it’s not like she stopped thinking about how beautiful Chloe looked when she genuinely smiled or why she smiled at her anyway.

__

Months passed and it came the time for Beca to start high school. Amy was out of her mind excited about that and it only made Beca more nervous.

Her first day – the first month even – could have been described with one word, better yet a name: Jesse.

Jesse was in most of her classes and for some reason he was obsessed with her. He managed to learn more about her in only the first week than most people have ever tried to know in her life – he asked so many questions.

At first Beca was annoyed by him and tried to avoid the guy every time she spotted his stupid face in the hallway or at the cafeteria, but it was pointless because Jesse always managed to find her. Amy even started to tease her about her new boyfriend and Beca hated it.

She started to get used to his intrusive presence somewhere during week two, when he casually mentioned a concert of a Sum41 cover band he was sure she would have liked.

It opened up a crack in the big wall she spent so long building up – obviously what Jesse was trying to do since day one – but she didn’t push him away like she would have done with any other intruder trying to tear her defences apart, she instead decided to show him something she considered super intimate and private, something she had never shown to anyone before, she decided to show him one of her playlists.

She even agreed to go with him to the concert – telling herself she really wanted to see the band and couldn’t go without the fake ID Jesse had promised her.

Thinking about it, it didn’t take a genius to understand Beca would have liked such topic. After all, the girl always wore her headphones and from her style – heavy dark eyeliner, pierced ears, studded bracelet and dark boots – it wasn’t that hard to guess her musical tastes either.

“I knew you liked Avril Lavigne” was his first reaction scrolling through the titles in her iPod, Beca blushed at that; there were many other artists on there, such as Linkin Park, Green Day, Evanescence, Blink182… and he decided to point out the one that meant more to her.

“I love her, I think she’s great" he added pressing play on Sk8er Boi “you kinda remind me of her" he shouted over the sound filling his ears. Beca’s eyes widened for a moment and she looked around the schoolyard to check if he had drawn any attention towards them, she still couldn’t believe she was letting him use her headphones.

__

“It’s Be c a, with one c" she repeated to the guy who was paying very little attention to her anyway – Luke apparently.

“All right guys, it’s gonna be 50 bucks each and it’ll take a couple of days” he said looking at them with a charming smile “to pay now" he clarified clearing his throat and Jesse rushed to pay him “thanks Johnny. I’ll reach out to you when I got them" he said before leaving.

“It’s Jesse…” sighed Jesse when Luke already had left.

“Dude, I’m giving you the money first thing tomorrow, don’t think I’m letting you pay for my ID" “I could’ve never thought something like that" he joked smiling at her.

Okay so maybe Jesse became her friend and maybe Beca liked that – not that she would admit it.

__

After a month Beca thought she was starting to get used to the whole high school thing and she had to admit it wasn’t as bad as she thought, classes were boring and had nothing useful to form her regarding what she really wanted to do in life, but at least she had Amy and Jesse to lighten her mood.

The brunette was walking down the hallway, headphones on as usual, when she saw Chloe. Beca’s breath caught in her lungs at the sight of the redhead leaned against her locker animatedly chatting with a group of friends. She looked so different from the girl she was used to see at dinners; she looked radiant, like a ray of sunshine. Beca could tell all her friends were hypnotized by her energy and enthusiasm.

The sudden collision with a guy running in her opposite direction brought her back to reality “Dude! What the fuck?“ she hissed, but the guy didn’t bother stopping to check on her, so Beca shook her head and walked to her classroom. She didn’t notice Chloe looking at her.

From that moment Beca’s high school experience became a little different, she was always looking out for any signs of Chloe, she turned her head at any glimpse of red hair around a corner or every time she heard a particular kind of giggle – yes, she stopped wearing headphones in the hallways just to hear that – she’d even learned the faces of those she believed to be Chloe’s best friends and, obviously, her boyfriend – Tom, or something.

During the course of the first semester there had been almost zero dinners and her father told her she didn’t have to attend them because he was sure she was busy with homework, so the only occasions she had to see Chloe were those when she ran into her at school – not that she cared – they never interact and Beca understood, Chloe was a popular girl and with that role you have to maintain the appearances, she couldn’t risk to be seen interacting with some freshman alt girl just because they ate at the same table a couple of times, it wasn’t like they were friends anyway.

__

Beca was nervous. She would have never expected to open her front door to find Chloe Beale standing in front of her. She felt her ears heating up when the girl smiled at her “h-hi… you’re here too” she babbled hating herself immediately, but Sheila appearing behind her to greet the Beale family gave her enough time to disappear into the kitchen.

Now they were in Beca’s room after dinner. Chloe didn’t feel as awkward as Beca did entering her room all those months ago – or as awkward as she felt right now, for what is worth – she immediately made herself at home sitting on Beca’s bed, bounching on it a little while looking around.

Beca blushed at the amount of posters – mainly Avril posters – hanging on her walls. Her room was much darker than Chloe’s and she was sure the redhead must have thought she was a freak.

“I like your room, it’s pretty cool" “…you do?” asked Beca in shock “yes! And your bed is so much softer than mine" added Chloe lying down. Beca was silent for a while, her brain was filled with so many thoughts she couldn’t speak, she’s never been good with words anyway.

Beca gasped when she saw Chloe stretch to reach for the iPod and headphones resting on her bedside table but couldn’t stop her from taking them.

“What do you always listen to anyway?” asked Chloe sitting back up “beside Avril Lavigne” she added with a giggle that made Beca feel more attacked than she should have, the brunette moved to sit on her bed next to Chloe and took the device from her, holding it protectively against her chest “stuff… you wouldn’t like it" she scoffed “try me" said Chloe tilting her head, smile still in place.

Beca couldn’t find it in herself to say no.

They laid on her bed with her headphones placed between them, listening to Beca’s playlist until Chloe drifted off to sleep. Beca kept laying beside her, looking at the redhead sleep on her pillow and completely ignoring the weird feeling she had in the pit of her stomach that was starting to be something not unusual when it came to Chloe.