#made me think a lot about how kms would harm ao many people around me
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constantly reminded of the reasons as to why i want to stay away from my family
#but also i love them dearly truly my most toxic relationship#had to order some antipsychotics but they won’t be here until morning so i’m in for a long night of my mind trying to murder me#i hate it here sometimes i hate everything sometimes#and i find it a little ironic that just a few hours ago i was telling my bf that the series i was watching#made me think a lot about how kms would harm ao many people around me#just to call him an hour ago crying and crying and crying and crying#i’m so tired i’m so done i’m so so fucking tired#my head hurts my stomach hurts i can’t stop fucking thinking#why fucking why#feeling so suicidal after months of not feeling it is so shitty lol#and now one of my fucking fingers is hurt and it also hurts and i hate everything#god if i could only disappear for a little bit it would be great#and i mean disappear i mean nothing i mean not existing for a bit#i’m so tired i’m so sad i don’t wanna deal with any of these anymore#i don’t even know what i’m saying at this point everything is coming out#i’m tired of crying but i want to keep crying but i don’t want to cry anymore#i just want to feel numb i want to feel nothing#sometimes feeling nothing is better than feeling everything#cause it gets so fucking overwhelming
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