#made me fall in love with a character i normally am pretty neutral on
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grackleshells · 11 months ago
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I haven’t finished the series yet but Scarecrow in Batman: The Audio Adventures has to be one of my favorite iterations of the character. Gah! I just can’t get over it!
He’s so sinister yet has this giddiness about him and I just adore it! The knife game scene comes to mind first but even just his dialogue as Dr. Jonathan Crane is so full of energy and character. Like he takes glee in terrorizing people! And I love that! It makes everything he does more horrific.
Also the fact he has little quirks like giggling sinisterly (even when he’s supposed to be a regular not-evil Dr lmao), having a love for old creature features, and a reoccurring desire to eat fear (hot) makes his whole character stand out- he’s not just the same scary, evil guy but in a different medium. Why are so many people sleeping on him?? It makes me insane
Bradley Whitford absolutely stole the show and his voice-work is truly something special. Really hope we see more of him as Scarecrow in the future
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yurunivo · 3 months ago
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Hello! I'm not sure if i'm the one but can we get some more Mavuika x Creator! Reader (gender neutral) in which the creator is falling deeply in love with Mavuika and the creator is slowly getting his/hers/their memories back and awakening a little bit of power (like maybe aweking some unique element or getting better healing abilities) ?
I'm pretty sure you were the one yea. Sorry for not answering sooner I just had no motivation to write 😭
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Synopsis: your time with Mavuika! (And "your" past) part 1 part 2 part 4
TW: slight angst, fluff, OOC, arguements, reader is referred to as they/them for easier use but gender is up to what you interpret as, bad writing, bad grammar, english is not my first language, slightly rushed at the end, not proofread
Characters: Mavuika x gn!creator!reader
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"Please don't walk through the halls, our Archon is busy-"
"I just have a word with her, that's all."
The receptionist sighed as you glared at her and walked off. You've had a bad week, constantly getting excruciatingly painful headaches and nightmares which make you wake up in a cold sweat. What made it worse that you couldn't really remember them when you woke up, which made it all the more frustrating. That, along with the fact that your boss was giving you more work than usual was making you snappy and irritated all the time. The even more strange thing was the fact that you were seeking out Mavuika, almost as if she was a pinicle of warmth in a snowy wasteland, so you did eventually visit her.
As you reached her office door, gloved hands gently pushed it open to see her inside. Your eyes softened, and you could feel your stress slipping away. She was sleeping though, her head on a pile of documents.
"That's.. Strange. Normally she would spend a lot of time with me, did she ignore all this work just for me?" You thought to yourself. However, instead of peaking over, you decided to sit in a sofa next to her table.
Curiosity did get the better of you though.
You skipped over to her desk and found loads of papers from different nations, which was really strange considering Mavuika was more busy dealing with Natlan's problems. You picked up a few documents and read them, cringing at the insignia of the other nations.
As you kept reading, you got more confused, and certainly more angry.
"Death threats, intimidation and war threats to Natlan, and Sumeru is asking for an alliance? What the hell is going on?!" You exclaimed, not noticing how Mavuika woke up. As you were about to read more, she snatched the papers from you, and looked at you with an expression you couldn't read.
"You weren't supposed to see that."
"Well I did, too bad. Now mind explaining what the hell is this?"
She didn't answer, and you felt your patience running thin. You didn't want to raise your voice at her, but the frustration of her not telling you was too much to handle. Still, you managed to control yourself, taking deep breaths.
"I'm not going to repeat myself, what is this?"
She paused, and for a moment, she contemplated whether she would tell you or not. Guilt was on her face, yet she finally told you.
"The other nations want you back for whatever reason, and they are threatening to add more to Natlan's plate by instituting a war. Sumeru is offering to help, but that's the only consolation I have," she breathed out. Your eyes softened, and your lips trembled. Seeing Mavuika like this was making you feel negative, especially since it was about you.
You picked up her hand and held it gently, but it was also firm. You didn't know what you could really do to help, considering that you were the one that they were after.
"Listen Mavuika, I am your creator, so I should have the right to know about all this, no? I may not be strong, but it's not like I'm completely useless," you held her hand against your forehead, both of you looking away from each other.
Feeling the need to lighten her pile of work, you let her go for a moment, going up to her desk and setting up the documents. You didn't look at her, nor did she look at you.
"I'll help," you spoke up.
"You don't need to."
"I insist."
She sighed, yet reluctantly went up to you to do the same. She knew that you wouldn't really change your mind, so there was really no point in arguing any further.
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For the past couple of weeks, you were there to help Mavuika. You were always at her beck and call, skipping your work to help with hers. The only thing you did however was confiscate useless documents, sign the ones that she couldn't, and carry piles of work to warehouses.
As you were walking through the place, whistling to yourself, you realized that you had just passed the place that you were supposed to be in. Noticing your mistake, you ran to that place in exasperation, not noticing how a gust of wind helped you to run faster..
"Why do I keep forgetting this shit?.." You rubbed your temples, setting the box down. Looking at all the shelves, you deadpanned at the realization that the shelves were much higher than you anticipated.
"I should've brought a ladder.." You mumbled.
Then suddenly, without any explanation, a pillar of Geo helped you up, slowly rising to the shelves. The revelation almost made you scream, but you kept it in. You were really high up, and the fact that you didn't know what was happening made it even more terrifying. Was this Zhongli's doing? To taunt you before he came to hunt you again? You couldn't really tell, the only thought running in your head was how the hell would you get down.
The even stranger thing that happened was that a gust of wind separated the boxes and placed the one that you brought without you needing to use your hands. It might've been the Anemo Archon, but the fact that if it was, he would probably not help you with anything. He would most likely make you fall instead, taunting you like Zhongli. But it didn't really make any sense. How the hell would they even reach you all the way from Natlan?
As the pillar mounted you down, you were about to run to reach Mavuika, but your temperature rose uncomfortably high, which was very unusual. The sudden change made you collapse onto the ground, golden blood seeping out of your nose. You felt yourself getting light headed as you struggled to keep yourself awake.
"Not now god dammit!" You exclaimed in your head as your vision turned blank, losing your consciousness.
....
Where were you?
You held your head, groaning at the painful sensation. You got a clearer look at your surroundings, notifying you that you weren't in Natlan. No, this place was nothing like Natlan. It was more regal, the entire place being covered by intricate gold designs. You explored the place for a bit, still trying to figure out what happened.
You walked around, then suddenly, you saw a projection in front of you. Okay, it at least confirmed that you were in a dream. But when the projection finished appearing, you saw someone whom you didn't expect to see.
It was... Nahida?
"Greetings your grace," she bowed, and you just told her to stand back up.
"Kusanali? What are you doing here?" You raised an eyebrow. Seriously today was one of the most craziest days of your life, more than when you realized that you were in the Genshin world.
"I have been trying to speak with you, your grace. It was very hard, I admit, and I may or may not have caused those nightmares, I am really sorry about that." Oh, so that's why these horrible dreams happened, and why you couldn't remember them. You smiled awkwardly, knowing that you would forgive her anyway. After all, she was the first to actually help you in this world.
"What did you need to speak with me for?" You asked.
"It's about the other nations, I want to inform you that they are currently on the hunt for you, and want you back into the position of creator," she answered, and now there were even more questions in your head. What was the strange switch up for?
"But I must ask your grace, is this what you really dream of, your throne room?" She pointed at the giant throne at the back, and you quickly went to answer.
"No, I don't dream about anything like this," you replied back in confusion. Right, was this supposed to be normal?
When you turned around to ask Nahida a question again, she was gone. Was she hiding? No, she was completely gone, you couldn't feel her presence any where, almost as if she was forced out of your dream.
You looked around more and more, only to realize that there was a carbon copy of you on the throne.
They looked exactly like you, except more regal, and more intimidating than what you could ever be. However, you did notice that they were... Crying? Tears were definitely spilling out of her eyes, yet their expression stayed the same.
Yea this was weird.
You looked around again to see the Archons behind you. You flinched at the sight, however, they weren't looking at you, rather they were looking at what you could assume to be the previous creator. Their expression was one of pity, and in almost half a second, they attacked the creator. Yet that "you" didn't move a muscle, allowing them to get a hit. As you stared at the throne, there was golden blood seeping out, yet the creator was as hard as stone.
They had sealed the creator.
....
You woke up with a gasp, feeling sweaty and uncomfortable. Looking at your hands, you saw they were trembling. Your throat felt dry, way too dry for your liking. As you reached out for the nearest liquid next to you, your hands landed on a cup of tea, which you picked up and drank immediately. You calmed down a bit, reminiscing on what you just experienced.
"So that's what happened, I wonder why.." You mumbled. You finally payed attention to where you were, and saw that you were back in Mavuika's office. Huh, you didn't remember being here last.
Finally paying attention to what was next to you, you saw a tray on a stool, and some food on it. The tea you drank just now was probably from that tray.
Your eyes wandered, and it stumbled upon Mavuika. She was on a chair too, yet she was sleeping, her arms crossed. As multiple ideas went through your head, it finally clicked.
"Was she taking care of me?" You thought, yet you were too much in a trance to wake her up and ask her. Your cheeks were flushed, and you felt them getting warmer.
You wondered what this feeling was, the way your heart started beating faster and how you felt all giddy inside.
"Ah whatever, I'll figure it out soon," you muttered, oblivious to your own feelings.
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Sorry I didn't include the abilities part too much, I was more focused on the creator and Mavuika's relationship 😓
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year ago
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That language SAGAU but the Reader can only communicate writing on paper.
Either the Reader is mute and they (characters) don't know/understand sign language or they somehow lost their voices on their transmigration to Teyvat and can only write now. But the characters are left trying to decipher what the Reader wrote.
Examples:
Kaeya: "I may say, that was very unexpected your grace. One such as yourself should be more aware of who you are."
Reader: "wat, y u sayin dat?"
×
Gorou: "Oh, your grace! Careful now. I am most certain that you stepped on something unsightly right now. Let me clean your feet, your grace."
Reader: "r u srs rn? Fml"
Ooooo, this is nice, this is niiccceeee /ref
this would be the energy⬇️
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Man I love this show, I gotta finish it (it’s Komi Can’t Communicate for those who want to see it) where she basically is too shy/introverted to speak (non-verbal neurospicy it seems like to me actually lol) and really wants to make friends and do normal things despite not speaking, her main way of communicating is writing (and her first guy friend who can just read her facial/body language really well lmao)!!
Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them)
Planet: Headcanons-ish?
Stars: dashes/mention of most characters
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Reader/”you” are mute/lost their voice, & Trigger Warnings: None Known.
This kinda falls into that post I made abt texting lingo, abt us being nigh incomprehensible when using texting lang. (its basically a code lol)
but i think it’s always neat to see nonverbal rep so here we are (also i think imma go ahead and say it is both selectively mute but also enforced by video game laws!)
u know a good explanation would be for this is actually abt how we technically are only allowed to freely communicate when we’re in chats,
so I could see that still being the only way we can commnicate in Teyvat (look am i little excited abt taking “video game world” a little too literally in every genshin AU ever- maybe.)
tbh i could see so many allogenes having to either learn to make room for you in convos and u also having to get wayyy more expressive in body language/facial expressions
tbh i think itd be pretty easy to get ur meaning, like in a battle or smth fast-paced where u couldnt write, like how Tinker Bell can?
if u dont know what i mean just search “tinkerbell scenes peter pan” on youtube and u can see ppl just having a full conversation with no words with her, which i think would deffo happen with ppl like Kaeya, Lisa, Lumine, Venti, Heizou, Ayato, Yae Miko, Thoma, Beidou and Itto surprisingly i could see it (ppl in the distance just think theyre all talking to themselves sometimes when ur not as visible hehe)
OMG they get u nice gifts for writing all the time, like the newest compact pens from Fontaine, the finest small, medium, and large notebooks from Inazuma,
like a little compact pocketbook so u can easily fit it in pockets!
u know Im absolutely sure you could literally start the texting appreviation trend in Tevyat like this-
like just so it’s easier to communicate with you, a lot of people are willing to adapt/take on abbreviations like “ttyl, gtg, wth, lol, lmao” even stuff like “etc”
lol u start a whole trend in the writing letters business, hehe silly medieval Teyvat is silly and medieval
yknow I think the quieter vision users would definitely find you to be peaceful to be around and easy to understand just with writing (also deffo most likely to adore the soft moments together of just ur pen scribbling and the sounds of nature or a cafe or something around them),
tbh i also think these ppl would be motivated to talk to you alone, or get you away to just talk the two of you for all the reasons above, like Xiao, Aether, Kazuha, Ayaka, Chongyun, Zhongli, Diluc, Sayu, Ei, Sucrose, Eula, Ganyu, Ningguang, Tighnari, Alhaitham omg he might literally be able to take his headphones off around u bc youd be in such quiet spaces all the time, and bc u dont talk he doesn’t have to worry abt u getting loud either lmao
…and then ofc, there’s the bitches that try and guess what ur writing ahead of timeeee 😭
bein all like, “Uh… you.. would like.. to go to… a restaurant… to get some- OH OH I got this one this time! Some pita pockets! …Oh. A drink. Right. Sorry, again.”
definitely Itto, Cyno, Heizou, Xingqiu, Fischl, Amber, Collei, Dehya, Wanderer, Childe, Venti, Keqing (she just used to being fast ok), Kaveh lmao
I hope my reply was a little fun!! THANK U FOR SENDING THIS I LOVE THIS SM!! Man it’s so hard to make you feel my appreciation for this idea thru the damn screen
like how do i send a virtual hug
ANYWAY, if you or anybody else had an idea for celebrating 1000 followers lmk bc i am STRUGGLING with this same issue for that,
like how to make u guys feel my love 😩 ❤️‍🔥
Safe travels ignihideous,
💀♒
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonderss / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi
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carlyraejepsans · 1 year ago
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Yknow, despite how it is impossible by all Ingame options, I wonder how a neutral route with *ONLY* Sans (and Asgore ig) killed would look? Would he count enough as a boss monster (NOT a Boss Monster) to push it from a Queen Toriel ending to an Empress Undyne ending? How would Alphys react (She lost one of her closest friends, but she still has MTT and Undyne around.)? How would Papyrus react (Would he go full angst mode and try close away his heart? Would he become even more of a people pleaser, trying to make sure he doesn't repeat whatever mistake he made with you again? Would he go into denial mode, trying to find Flowey to set things right with him either finding him or not based on what Frisk choses after the FloweyX fight? So many choises), especially with how he seems to Know Something he doesn't let on. I'd imagine that (provided it's a Queen Toriel Ending) Undyne wouldn't be thar affected, sad that Papyrus lost a brother rather than sad that Sans died (she never is close with Sans. She doesn't hate him, but she doesn't know him as more than "Papyrus weird brother" and "My sentry that works the ABSOLUTE bare minimum needed"). I don't think mettaton would appear or be affected, leaving the call pretty limited. So we have Papyrus and Maybe Undyne, with Papyrus probably being... kinda miffed that everything is going along the same, as if Everything hasn't changed. Bonus points if it's Post Dates, leaving a pretty aimless Undyne moving into Sans room, trying to fill a void that she never can. It isn't some threat she can suplex or teach to cook, it's the world being unfair.
(This also would give a pretty Unique Undyne state, being halfway between her "I don't like that you had to kill Asgore, but it's what you had to do" mindset and her more common "You betrayed me in such a soul crushing way it'll affect how I love forever" mindset in most Neutral Endings. I can imagine her actually trying to rationalise it, because the human only killed Asgore (sucks but she Gets It), and... Sans. The easiest enemy, one too weak to make it into the guard, and almost too weak to be a Sentry (Sans would have no reason to reveal Blasters, and his magic would barely scratch the TRUE HERO of the Underground when Karma is factored in. All she would see is surprisingly complex patterns that don't deal even a tenth of her hp). So surely, they had a reason, right? Why else would they do it?)
Forgive any bad writing it's literally 2 AM rn where I am
can't not confess I've thought about it too, but it IS really hard to extend as a concept because there's just... really no way for sans to die outside of the NM run. and I don't mean logistically, i mean character-wise he is so defined by his survival. by his Being There as everything falls apart. the final girl last man standing in the story. so the whole concept immediately falls apart.
undyne wouldn't personally grieve him, seeing as they didn't really know each other, but she WOULD still feel his death on her conscience as she does with every other monster killed in neutral runs. plus, there's her friendship with papyrus to emotionally aggravate things.
papyrus would definitely go into denial. he would be annoyed about him vanishing all of a sudden, then it'd turn to worry, then as his worries become more and more plausible, he'd shut out all rational thought about the subject and pretend everything is alright. i like the idea of him reaching out to flowey, but he'd try to explain his plan while also comtradicting himself all the time in order to never say outloud "sans is dead. we need to fix this"
betrayed undyne... yeah this is where it falls apart again, since you'd have to reason why sans would die (or even instigate a fight at all) in the final corridor during what has so far been a flawless pacifist run.
buuut pushing past the visceral resistance to the concept. i can easily see a scene where the betrayal pushes her to lose it and seek revenge like it does in normal neutral runs, and her looking to papyrus for training help/human destroying plans. and just... meeting a Wall of denial. that would be a harrowing talk. something people don't mention enough is that papyrus sees himself as sans' caretaker as much if not even more than sans does towards him. a world where sans is dead is a world where he failed his brother. it would devastate him. so he clings to anything not to think about it/delude himself. and here comes undyne ready to shatter that fragile hope. it would be a horrible moment between them
but yeah. everything aside, sans would straight up just not die lol.
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dreamlifebunny · 1 year ago
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hello bunny! I (ego, probably) find stay 'knowing myself' throughout the day as I tell myself I will observe the Ego's life with no attachment but in 2 minutes get swept up in my thoughts and identifying with them.
How do I separate my Self from ego and stop identifying with ego? and How do I believe that I am Self, 'I' need some proof, what do I do to get that? I'm so sorry if this has already been answered or repetitive.
hiiii, anon! c: no need to apologize at all, i completely understand the question and the struggle! this is a long answer, sorry it's late here and i have no idea how to be concise ever lol.
the biggest piece of advice i would give to you is to not beat yourself up for getting swept up in the thoughts. when we get swept away we can get frustrated with ourselves because we're like, "ughh i'm not doing this right, i have to start over, c'mon ego just do it correctly already!!" but the thing is, that is just how the ego is. it is acting the exact way it was intended to; the ego has endless thoughts, the ego worries, and the ego wants to beat you up for not getting it "right." but Self knows that that is the way the ego is and doesn't try to fight it! It accepts the ego as it is and simply lets it be. Self thinks that the ego is perfect simply because it "is;" it's perfect when its happy, it's perfect when it's sad, it's perfect when it has a thousand thoughts, it's perfect when it feels angry at itself. the ego/character you're playing right now, your Self created, and it is perfectly neutral and loving towards it ALL.
i used to be so confused when people would say, "just observe," because when i had thoughts i didn't like i would feel negatively and try to push the negative thought away or try to stop feeling the negative feeling. but what i learned was that instead of trying to change the thoughts, i can notice that i'm trying to change the thoughts. i can notice that i felt uncomfortable, then i can notice that the thought is sticking around, then i can notice that the feeling gets harder, then i can notice where the feeling is in my body, then i can notice that my awareness of where it is in my body has made me forget that i had a negative thought that i didn't like in the first place! it all falls away, because simply noticing helps you shift your awareness.
as ego, you will never run out of things to notice. that's why there are so many opportunities to practice not identifying with the ego! something you could try practicing for it to become more normal is taking time throughout your day to sit with yourself and truly pay attention, neutrally, to every single thought, feeling, and sensation that comes up. when i say neutrally, i don't mean NOT feeling negatively about things you're frustrated with or pushing down the feelings. the ego is going to feel frustrated, because that's how the ego feels. what i mean is, even if you get frustrated with yourself, NOTICE THAT TOO. "oh, i'm noticing that i'm feeling frustrated. that's okay!" it's all okay - have compassion and love towards EVERY feeling and thought that comes up, because they are all a creation of Self/God. i'll give you an example of the first time that i "got" it that will hopefully explain what i'm saying a little more. this was something close to my internal monologue:
alright. here we go. gonna notice some stuff as Self. i'm noticing my breathing. cool!
i'm noticing that i'm noticing my breathing now hehe. that's okay!
i'm noticing a feeling come up; ego wants to laugh because this feels funny to notice. that's okay!
i'm noticing that the feeling feels really warm in my body, it's pleasant. that's okay!
i'm noticing that i'm pretty hungry right now, actually... that's okay!
*drifts for a little while bcuz i was so hungry*
oh. i noticed that i just started drifting thinking about lunch. that's okay... wait, is that okay?
shit. i fucked up and drifted, ugh. that's not okay, why do i always drift so easily? *gets frustrated with myself*
wait, i didn't fuck up. i'm noticing that i was just frustrated with myself. okay. frustration, you are noticed. it's okay for the ego to be frustrated! that's okay!
i'm noticing now the peace that comes with simply allowing my ego to be the way it is. that's okay!
i'm noticing that i'm thinking about lunch again. that's okay!
maybe i should eat. what should i eat? (*drifting*)
ugh! i keep messing this up! (*frustrated*)
oh! i am noticing that the frustration is coming again, and i'm also noticing that i'm hungry. that's a sensation the ego is having. i am noticing it. that's okay!
does this make sense? everything that the ego does is perfect, it's acting as the way it always is - we as Self are simply here to observe it! it doesn't have to change its ways for you to become self-actualized; in fact, the ego cannot "become enlightened," the feeling of "enlightenment" only happens when the ego is left to just vibe and do its thing, without changing it. the ego is perfect to Self because no matter what, it is playing its role exactly as it was meant to. the ego wants to fight itself, but it doesn't need to fight itself, because it's doing exactly what it was designed to do. Self knows this! Self is able to take a step back and allow the yuckiness that the ego feels to just happen, because it knows that that yuckiness is a creation of Self. this is why people always say that Self is an expression of / feeling of pure love, because everything that the ego does is simply okay, it's allowed, it's perfect, it's loved by Self. it's pure acceptance, and what is more loving than that? i think it's also why people who are Christian say that "God's creations are perfect" because they were created by "Him" and "He makes no mistakes." it's the same thing with our true Selves and ego - the ego is a perfect creation of the Self, it doesn't need to beat itself up or get frustrated because it's not doing things properly. but if it does beat itself up or get frustrated, all you as Self have to do is say, "it's okay. i'm noticing you're frustrated. i'm observing this frustration. that's allowed, you're okay, you're perfect!"
you don't have to say "that's okay" every time you have a thought or sensation, either. i told myself the phrase "nothing i am conscious of is me" when i was trying this out. sometimes i tell myself, "that's allowed." sometimes i just notice and shift awareness without thinking anything and just witness. do whatever feels natural to you, that's what this whole process is about!
it might take time for you to get to this space where it feels constant. but that is okay! the biggest thing to remember with all of this is that it is all okay. you as the ego aren't doing anything wrong, you just need to observe when you do feel that you're doing something wrong and return to that lovely observing Self who knows everything is accepted.
another thing to keep in mind is that this might take practice, but it doesn't have to be an arduous journey. you know how starting a new habit can take a little bit of time before it becomes natural, and then all of a sudden you're remembering to take your meds at the same time every day or your posture is improved because you've reminded yourself enough times throughout the day? it's the same thing for detachment (or at least has been in my case). practice makes better, and holy fuck, we've gone our whole lives attached and identified with ego, so cut yourself some slack! <3 just take some time to return to your Self throughout the day, whether that's taking five minutes to practice the above "noticing" or even just noticing whenever you remember you're Self. whenever i suddenly realize i'm getting caught up in ego identification (which is quite often), i try not to beat myself up - have compassion for the sweet character you've known and identified with! they don't know any better. sometimes i greet my ego like an old friend, like "oh! hi ego! i'm noticing you now."
hopefully this makes sense - compassion and witnessing is the key, and truly with practice you'll come to find it's the simplest thing you've ever known to do. you've got this! <3
also, here is advice from this lovely anon, too!
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alienaiver · 2 years ago
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Tales of Meet Cutes
Kozume Kenma x gn!reader
warnings: this is pretty fluffy! while reader is gender neutral, they are cosplaying male characters and are being described wearing makeup, so beware if thats not ur thing! :’) wordcount: 4.4k content: FLUFF, genderneutral reader, poc!friendly reader, canon compliant, post-timeskip, meet cute, kenma FALLS IN LOVE... HARD!, cosplayer!reader meeting kenma at a convention basically, kuroo’s the worst wingman but he swings it anyway!, kenmas a bit awkward but hes got the spirit, weirdly enough became an advertisement for the tales of games..., unbeta’d bcos i am sobbing about my con, reader cosplays mikleo from tales of zestiria and jack vessalius from pandora hearts! heres mikleo and heres jack (theres no switch release of zestiria this is just me dreaming btw </3)
notes: hihey!!! i was at a convention this weekend and have been ruDELY STRUCK by the post-con depression and its... its GIVING ME feelings. so i wrote this. im aware that conventions in japan are usually simply called ‘events’ and not cons like in the west but it felt sO UNSPECIFIC so ye. i actually do Not know what bouncing ball corp DOES... so im playing around. this is all based off of my own convention experiences but theyre obviously very local to my country so idk how it is in others <33333333 i hope u enjoy AWKWARD KENMA who stutters <3
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It’s Friday afternoon and Kenma’s plugging the Nintendo Switch’s HDMI into the television’s port that the convention provided for their booth. Kuroo’s humming by their table as he places the flyers nice and orderly next to the game cases. Kenma turns to his friend, “you didn’t have to do this.” he says, flustered that Kuroo had to take a weekend off for him. Kuroo smiles, “’course I didn’t have to,” he looks knowingly at Kenma who bites his lip and stares pointedly at the floor, “but I wanted to. It’s a free convention, a weekend with my best friend plus, you’re paying me.”
It's true, Kenma has agreed to pay all of Kuroo’s meals this weekend no matter what he wanted – he knows Kuroo will seize the opportunity and ask for food he’s normally too cheap to buy himself, but Kenma’s happy to indulge.
Bouncing Ball Corp has for many years sponsored a big part of Tokyo Expo’s Game Room. It was one of the first places that properly introduced Kenma to streaming so it’s become like a silent thank you to them. The community is nice too and he knows a lot of his fans come here. For just as many years that he’s been a sponsor, they’ve tried to get him to have a booth or maybe even a panel but he’s been dodging them successfully every year. The attention seems like it’d be too much for him to handle for a whole weekend so he’s always declined and showed up stealth as a regular convention guest and enjoyed the Game Room. He was almost found out once because he beat a high score on the big center screen in front of an audience. He’s never ducked out so fast of anything in his life.
But this year’s dodging and parrying proved unsuccessful due to circumstances out of his power. You’d think running your own company would make situations like these impossible but alas. Kenma has been playing the Tales Of game series on his channel since the early beginning and after the third game, Bandai Namco reached out and they made a rather fruitful arrangement that’s served both of them well. Now, they’re releasing an anniversary Nintendo Switch release of Tales of Zestiria and wanted Kenma at the convention, advertising. He was put between a rock and a hard place when the game company reached out to the convention on his behalf – he knows they did it on purpose to render any of his moves ineffective.
So here he is, plugging the television into the massive outlet that runs through the room to accommodate every booth and game (is this even fire safety regulated?) with Kuroo by his side. One of the volunteers, a Gopher, has already stopped by multiple times to offer their assistance in setting up. Kenma thinks they might be a fan because the Game Room’s volunteer-leader has already been by upon their arrival and walked through whatever they might need from the convention and what they’ve brought themselves to the booth with him.
There’s usually not a lot of booths in the Game Room, traditionally focusing more on just having a lot of platforms and screens available with games ready to be played by the guests but it’s not uncommon to see a company or two advertise for something. At the far end, Kenma knows an indie-game developer is going to be. She’s also going to host a panel on how to make your own games and where to start. He’d like to stop by for that out of curiosity. There’s also a booth from a school where you can become a game designer who advertises for their education and tells people of the way you’ll have to go to reach that.
And then Kenma’s. He certainly feels out of place as he sets up the brand-new Switch with only one game inserted provided by Bandai Namco. He originally connects it to the Convention Center’s Wi-Fi but decides his own might be faster for the final download of the software. He hears Kuroo talk to someone behind him as he fiddles with his phone settings. The convention opens in just a few hours and he’d like to get lunch before anyone arrives. He dreads how he’ll have to be available here until at least after the dinner rush. He’ll have to eat a heavy lunch. He has a gnawing suspicion that Kuroo’s got food or snacks in his bag if the size of it is anything to go by. He hopes there’s the red bean Taiyaki that he likes in that bag. He really wants one now.
  __
  His stomach is gnawing, reminding him of that Taiyaki he imagined earlier. It’s past 7PM now and there’s been so many people that he really doesn’t want to come back tomorrow. Kuroo’s currently out, there was a tabletop event he wanted to check out and since there wasn’t that many people when he left an hour ago, he had said yes but they’re all coming back from their dinner and filling up the room again. The heat is unbearable; poor ventilation and so many machines turned on making it worse on top of the people crowding it. More than once he’s had to explain how the Switch controls work for curious guests and it’s getting repetitive in a way that he really doesn’t enjoy. Is he really an asset as a sales representative? He thinks not.
Maybe he should just take a peek in Kuroo’s bag. He probably wouldn’t mind, right?
Turns out that he definitely wouldn’t mind given that all there is in said bag is snacks that only Kenma likes and that he knows Kuroo doesn’t even the least bit pretend to enjoy. He stays crouched and rummages through it and lo behold, a red bean Taiyaki shines from the bottom of the bag. Out of the corner of his eye he spots two people nearing the booth, one whose color scheme is glaringly blue. He hears talk, someone jumping in excitement and thinks it might be an old fan of the game excited about the remake. He’s surprised by how few knows the game – it’s not that old, he keeps telling himself.
“It’s you!” a voice exclaims and with the Taiyaki hanging from his mouth, Kenma looks up with confusion and an accidental glare. Before his booth stands two people. One is dressed like an anime character from that fighting show he’s heard about and the other… Well, the other is none other than Mikleo, a character from the game he’s currently advertising. You’re standing with the game in your hands, sparkles flying from your eyes in excitement, your underlip worried between your teeth.
Kenma drops the Taiyaki from his mouth as his brain decides you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.
(Luckily for him the snack lands on the bag and not on the floor. He doesn’t notice that at all though.)
“I shouldn’t buy it. I already have it at home for the PS3,” you start arguing resolutely, putting down the Switch case with much reluctance. Your friend laughs at you, “yeah that would be silly. But you were so sad about not finding any merchandise with Mikleo or Sorey on it in Dealer and Artist, so I’m glad we saw this!” you nod to your friend, eyes still glued on the game, “me too. I hope this remake will get it the revival it deserves. Maybe we’ll actually meet people who knows the game now,” you sigh before you start to continue on, “I don’t want to be late for the Tekken tournament though and if I stay here much longer, I’ll end up buying the game.” Your friend follows and you look back at the game one last time with mock sobs and an arm reached out towards it. Your friend laughs and drags you along.
Kenma stays crouched and frozen for a few more moments until Kuroo’s voice breaks through, “that cosplayer’s the character from the game, aren’t they?” his eyes are turned towards you before he looks down at Kenma, “you found the snacks?” he walks around the tables to get inside the booth, “we can go get dinner in an hour or so, is that fine?”
Kenma barely registers any of the questions that Kuroo asks him, still looking after your form. It’s easy to see where you’re going with your cosplay prop, Mikleo’s staff being his guiding star as you’re walking towards the big screen for the Tekken tournament.
Maybe he should join the tournament.
No, he definitely shouldn’t.
Right?
A palm suddenly touches Kenma’s forehead and Kuroo’s form is crouched next to him, looking only mildly concerned, “you okay? You need to get out a bit? Too many people?” the questions are many as Kuroo tries to locate what Kenma’s issue might be. It’s not a fever, so the redness in his face much be account of the crowd, Kuroo thinks. Kenma scrunches up his nose before he gets back to his feet, “I’m fine.”
Kuroo shakes his head before he picks up Kenma’s abandoned Taiyaki and gets back up, “let me know if that changes. I’d be more than happy to duck out for food early.”
Kenma reluctantly grabs the Taiyaki from Kuroo and continues to eat it in silence. Kuroo does what he does best and try to sell the game to whoever stops by even if they’re only stopping briefly. There’s an influx of people for the tournament and Kuroo manages to sell a few copies to old fans. Kenma fiddles with his water bottle as his eyes are glued towards the tournament area, hoping he’ll see you on your way out. He definitely doesn’t want to go for dinner before it ends.
  Sadly, he doesn’t see you in the crowd leaving the area, all morphed together into one blob of mass. The Game Room is finally breathable again and they get ready to leave the booth, putting up the “Out for dinner, be right back!” sign and notify the Gophers that they’re leaving so they can keep an eye on the unattended booth for them.
Kuroo wanted something from the food stalls, much to Kenma’s chagrin. Kenma doesn’t particular like going out to eat but a restaurant’s volume levels is miles apart from the food halls of an anime convention’s. The line luckily isn’t long as Kenma stands with his phone, playing Valkyrie Connect on it to pass the time. Kuroo talks to the people around them in line, blending in even though this normally isn’t his crowd.
“Ah, thank you for holding the line! It was such a bother going to the bathroom in this,” you laugh, sounding out of breath as you pat your friend’s shoulder.
Kenma’s afraid to look up because out of his peripheral he spots the blue of the bottom part of Mikleo’s pants. The tail ends of your cap sways as you move around too and he feels his tongue grow a few sizes in his mouth. Kuroo continues talking with your friend who introduces you to him.
The good thing about Kuroo, that Kenma’s always appreciated, is his uncanny way of knowing when to push Kenma’s social buttons and when not to. So Kuroo simply lets the conversation flow with the two people in front of him, not letting their focus shift to Kenma in an effort to relief him.
He chances a look at you without lifting his head and you’re even more beautiful up close. Your wig seems to be of high quality and well taken care of, even after a whole day at the convention. Kenma doesn’t know a whole lot about makeup, but he can see that yours is sharp and accentuating the parts that make you resemble Mikleo the most. You’re wearing purple contacts and Kenma’s brain is fuzzy with the thought of what your real eye color must be like. Is your hair long underneath the wig? Or short? Your face seems perfectly sculptured and he has to look back down at his game so he doesn’t pass out from the way you shine.
  “Whatcha want?” Kuroo suddenly asks Kenma and he realizes it’s already their turn. Kenma gulps loudly and shakes his head at Kuroo, hoping his blush isn’t too obvious. Kuroo nods at his non-verbal response before he orders two sets of bibimbap with two chicken bao buns. Kenma fumbles to get his wallet out of his pocket to pay for the food and Kuroo wordlessly takes the wallet from him so he can hand them the correct amount. “Anyways, have a great con!” Kuroo gladly tells you and your friend as they go to leave the queue and wait by the side for their order. Kenma stomps his feet mentally and looks you squarely in the face. Your smile is gentle and warm as he gets eye contact with you, “you’re a… b-beautiful.. Mikleo.” he stumbles over his words and hurries to join Kuroo by the side, feeling very childish with his breathing ragged and heart beating. He hears you making a reply behind him but he doesn’t make out the words as he focuses on Kuroo’s shoes and quieting his own heart.
  When he reaches Kuroo, an unfortunate but very teasing smirk is on the bastard’s lips. “So it wasn’t a fever.” He teases, ruffling up Kenma’s hair. “Shut up,” he bites back and punches Kuroo’s stomach. Kuroo leans forward in mock pain and whispers close to Kenma’s ear with a teasing lilt, “they’re still looking at you. I think they’re flustered.”
Kenma just hits him again but dares not to look back to confirm whether or not Kuroo’s right, a pout evident on his face from Kuroo’s teasing.
      Saturday morning comes around without too many hiccups and Kenma’s playing Octopath Traveler on his own Switch, precariously tipping the chair to alleviate boredom. Kuroo only teased him mildly yesterday and this morning, so he thinks he might be safe with his private crush. It’s lunch time soon and the big cosplay show is currently underway, which makes the Game Room pleasant, only a few people sitting by different platforms quietly playing games.
Kuroo’s at the cosplay show too, leaving Kenma behind. He’d offered to go together, but Kenma thinks the noises will be too much. He can always watch the show online at another date and he doesn’t technically mind manning the booth when it’s this quiet. A few fans have found out he’s here and passed by for pictures, but it hasn’t been too wild. He misses his cats even if he briefly saw them this morning.
He yawns as he finishes off one of the chapter 2 bosses, checking his battery percent as the victory screen loads. He’s still good to go for at least some time yet before he has to get up and dig the charger out of Kuroo’s bag.
“Excuse me,” your voice rings as you clear your throat and Kenma’s head whips up so fast at the sound of your voice that he loses balance and with a leg raised tall in the air, he falls backwards with a yelp that he’ll deny until the day that he passes.
“Oh my God, are you okay?” he hears the worried wobble in your tone as you shuffle around towards the little entrance to his booth but stops in front of it, unsure if you’re allowed to enter, stomping your feet anxiously. “I didn’t mean to give you such a scare, I’m sorry!”
As Kenma groans and places his Switch carefully next to him on the floor, he realizes that you’re trying to hold back a laugh at the scene in front of you, but your brows are still furrowed in worry.
You’re not Mikleo today.
He’s not sure who you are, really. He doesn’t recognize the design but then again, he hasn’t watched a lot of anime. But even if you’re in a total different outfit, with a different hair and eye color than yesterday, there’s no mistake who you are. You’re the one inflicting psychic damage on Kenma’s heart and he’s not sure how to handle this properly.
Your outfit is no less detailed or well-done than yesterday, with a blonde wig styled with a ponytail and a very exquisite-looking, long green coat lined with gold. You’re wearing a ruffled shirt underneath a black vest, knee-length boots and white pants. You must be hot in all that. He feels heat flush to his cheeks at his own staring and throws his head back to the ground, staring at the ceiling to avoid your gaze, exhaling a deep breath. You crouch down, still by the entrance to his booth and look at him, careful of the length of your ponytail – he can see now that it’s a braid. “Are you sure that you’re okay?” you ask, biting your lip in worry about how he has yet to reply to you. Maybe you shouldn’t have walked up to him at all.
Kenma tries to make his eyes meet yours but he finds that he’s not really able to. He’s frozen staring up at the ceiling, feeling his blood pump faster than he’d like. His palms are lying spread but he can feel the sweat gathering there and there’s quite a bit of saliva gathering in his mouth that he seems to have forgotten how to swallow.
“Uhm. Was it Kazu?” you look up at the ceiling to see if Kenma’s found anything interesting, “ah! Kuroo! He said you’d be here when I saw him during the show break…” there’s a pause as you seem to think about what you want to say and Kenma finds the courage to move slowly to sit up, the thought that you sought him voluntarily out replenishing his HP bar.
You follow him with your eyes, a triumphant yet tense smile on your lips at making him blush so exceedingly. He’s pretty when he blushes, you think.
“I was wondering if you’d like to… Uh, get some lunch together from the food stalls?” Kenma whips his head towards you again, his expression more constipated than positive and you raise your arms in alarm with an apologetic smile, “y-you don’t have to of course! Kuroo just suggested that you might be hungry and well… I am too, but my friend didn’t want to miss the award ceremony so I thought… maybe… you’d like to? We could talk about the Tales of games, if you’d like?”
Kenma nods and looks away to regain control of his voice, “I’d like to, let me just close up here before we leave,” he says and a new excitement rises in him from being able to speak a whole sentence without stuttering to you. He chances a look at you he feels like he shouldn’t have because the smile that adorns your features is absolutely breath-taking and Kenma feels his heart stutter at brightness in front of him. You move to get up and dust off your thighs before reaching out to him, “need a hand?”
  The walk to the food stalls isn’t as awkward as Kenma feared it’d be with his newfound inability to compose proper sentences. You let the conversation flow freely and naturally, filling in when his answers are stunted. You’re so calm and patient that Kenma finds himself opening up more naturally as you reach the stalls, taking a walk through the area to figure out what you’d like. Kenma also learns that you’re dressed as a character from Pandora Hearts today, a character named Jack. “Don’t get the curry,” you warn in a whisper-voice and lean in close to continue what Kenma supposes is gossip but his heart is beating so loud in his ears he barely hears why you issued such a warning in the first place. He simply nods and trots along, hands buried deep in his hoodie’s pockets.
You settle on the food stall that sells pizza slices. It’s a small food truck with a pizza oven inside that Kenma’s frankly fascinated by. There’s not a lot of options that he likes on their menu and he feels embarrassed to order something where half of the ingredients needs to be taken off in front of you but he would also like to be able to eat said food in front of you.
When it’s your turn in the line, Kenma motions for you to go first and as he hears your order, his mind immediately relaxes – he’s not the only one with special requests to remove certain ingredients. As it turns out, you end up wanting the same exact pizza as him, so he taps your shoulder and quickly asks if you want to change it from two separate slices and just share a regular sized pizza. Your eyes shine at his question and you nod excitedly before turning towards the cook on the other side who happily takes the new order.
  You’re seated in front of each other with the pizza between you, the conversation flowing naturally and freely between games. “Have you ever played Fire Emblem?” Kenma asks through a bite of pizza and you hum through your chewing, “not yet. I only recently got my hands on my own Switch and that’s my first Nintendo console so I think it’ll take me a while to rack up my arsenal,” you laugh and Kenma nods, “you could always watch a stream of it?” he tentatively ask and you shake your head and put down your slice of pizza to take a sip of your drink, “I can’t really concentrate on streams… they’re kind of boring,” you admit with a sheepish laugh and Kenma’s back straightens as he tries not to take it personally. It’s technically not a big deal and he usually isn’t bothered by whether or not people would like him but he has a very deep-seated need for you to like him right now.
“What do you do on the daily? Outside of cons?” you ask after you’ve swallowed your last bite of pizza, “something with sales?”
Kenma raises a confused eyebrow at you and you laugh apologetically, “I just thought maybe for Bandai? Since you’re selling their game at the con.”
That’s when Kenma realizes.
You have no idea who he is.
And hey, Kenma isn’t that conceited that he thinks everyone knows him but with all the games you have the same interests in, he’d figured you at least knew his name or something of the sort. He also had a tiny drop of fear that you might just be seeking him out due to his status. He’s not sure he wouldn’t just let you, given how infatuated he is with you. What a wonderful way to get played, he absentmindedly thinks.
He's glad it seems to be in a whole other alley. You might just be interested in him for him.
“I uh, I own a company.” He tries not to sound like too much of a jerk but the sentence makes it hard to not sound high and mighty, no matter how he’d said it. Your eyes widen and you slap your palms onto the surface of the table, “that’s so cool!” you exclaim and Kenma tries to will down a blush. “What kind of company?”
He must look like a deer in the headlights to you because you shrink in on yourself and apologize for prying. He’s not sure why he didn’t expect such a follow-up question but his brain malfunctioned at the way your eyes shone. You’re wearing contacts again today, bright green and making your eyes seem bigger than they actually are. There are golden lashes lining your eyes and once again your makeup best accentuates what he believes fits the character because it’s different than it was yesterday but still just as sleek and beautiful. He hitches a breath before he can properly reply, “uh, it’s called… Bouncing Ball Corp.” he admits with a hand scratching the back of his neck.
Realization seems to dawn on your face as your eyes narrow, seemingly in deep thought. Then your mouth opens in an ‘o’ shape before you burst out laughing, a hand to your stomach. Kenma’s sitting like a duck, watching you go through all of these motions, confused as to what they might mean. Then, you wipe a stray tear from your lash line and apologize for your outburst, “it’s just. Oh my God, please apologize to your friend. When we met him at the show…” you laugh again, trying to breathe calmly, “I thought he was trying to hit on me because he started talking about knowing some kind of CEO and a streamer. My friend knew who it was but I didn’t and he seemed embarrassed that I didn’t. Oh God,” you’re still laughing, hiding your face behind your hand as Kenma puts two and two together.
That blathering idiot.
How many times does Kenma have to tell Kuroo not to be his wingman? He groans as he hides his face on the surface of the table, letting out strings of apologies on behalf of his friend. “I’m so sorry he’s just… like that,” Kenma bites out as he raises his head back up, licking his front teeth. You wave your hand with a smile, “don’t worry, don’t worry. He seems… fun. And he really seems to care about you.”
Kenma nods and plays with the woody veins on the table, unsure what to say when you grab his hand, “but you can thank him for his meddling, I think. It got the two of us talking, right?”
Kenma’s body seems to freeze at the contact as he feels the warmth of your hand in his. Your eyes look hopeful as you worry your lip between your teeth, a half-smile on your face. Kenma smiles in what he hopes is a reassuring way as he squeezes your hand back with a courage he hadn’t felt in a while, “yeah, I’ll be sure to treat him to a nice dinner later. But I think I’d like to treat you to one first.”
You giggle as you look down at the table in front of you, “that’d be lovely. But I think you need to see me out of cosplay before you decide, don’t you?” you ask with nervousness teetering in your lilt. Kenma shakes his head, “I cannot imagine that you’re not beautiful underneath your costume. Besides, your personality’s what’s important and I like that a lot already.”
The smile you send his way make his heart pump again. Yeah, he definitely needs to thank Kuroo, no matter how stunted his attempt were, it ended up working.
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firendgold · 1 year ago
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If you’re doing the violence ask game, can you do 9, 13 , and 19?
oooh, yes. I am indeed. Let's not delay. My friend the read-more is here to help.
choose violence ask game
9. worst part of canon
This is a very 2007 era, "I just finished Deathly Hallows" opinion, but even after all this time, I think the epilogue really is the worst part of canon. Not just because I personally dislike the canon ships, but because JKR (hereafter referred to as That Woman) had the opportunity to do some more "show not tell" for Life After Voldemort, to flesh out what the characters' priorities would be after defeating the figurehead of Wizarding Britain's prejudice and a few of his public cronies, and she just... didn't.
I probably could have stomached the canon ships if more attention was paid in the epilogue to the reforms that were made or being made to society, the ones that have only passing mentions in Pottermore or post-book interviews—the reformation of Azkaban/removal of dementors, actually seeing Harry as an Auror/Department Head (perhaps chasing down some minor league foe?), or any sort of follow up on the themes That Woman set up in the series. In DH alone we have heroes falling from pedestals, the gritty realities of war for the average people, hostile takeover of an already corrupt government, falsely torturing and imprisoning innocent people, the fallout of being betrayed by peers and/or superiors you trust, more kids becoming orphans... I could go on. There's many, many issues for the war's survivors to tackle once the dust has settled.
But we don't get that. Instead we get "here, look, the main characters got married and had kids! even Teddy is dating someone! you remember Teddy right? last time you saw him he was a baby, and now he's all grown up with a Weasley girlfriend! love love love! kiddos off to Hogwarts again! isn't that charming?" Eh... not really. I, uh, wanted to know if society has improved at all...?
I definitely get the appeal of having the "back to normal" feeling of Kids Boarding the Train at the Platform, I do... it just wasn't what I expected for the end of Harry Potter. In my not-so-humble opinion, "and then they got married and had kids" is boring in literature of any kind. It's just so boring. And it's worse for a world of magic where the characters could be doing anything else.
13. worst blorboficiation
I'm becoming such an old I had to look this up to make sure I knew what it meant before giving my opinion. :')
Am I allowed to say more than one person? This is me choosing violence, so I'm going to list off all the HP ones that came to my mind once I knew the definition.
Remus Lupin. Holy shit, bro. This fandom has ruined this character. I get that people like him. (I like him too!) I get that he's very hard to pin down because he's one of the more mysterious people, but (until recently) I've never seen a character who's pretty neutral in canon get so positively inflated by the fandom. And it's literally just because of wolfstar. Sirius gets inflated too (more on that in a sec), but Remus gets inflated just because long ago fans decided that the two of them were obviously together and, by extension, would be perfect, flawless co-dads for Harry. You could argue that Remus doesn't really show much romantic feeling towards Tonks until DH, but you'd also have to argue that he doesn't show much romantic feeling (or feelings at all, besides grief and nostalgia) for anyone.
But like... I'm not a total Debbie Downer. I get the appeal of wolfstar alone and wolfstar dads, really, but they're hard to completely buy into (especially when the latter usually turns into a Dumbledore bashfest). Sometimes fans act like their ideal of who Remus is and what he is to Harry, Sirius, and other characters is canon when it's not. Preferable to canon, maybe, but not source material at all. The wolfstar-partner-raising-Harry!Remus is nowhere close to the real Remus. The real Remus:
is unaccounted for for the first 10 years of Harry's time at the Dursleys, and for his first and second year, with no retroactive explanation given
doesn't contact Harry after year 3, and indeed isn't even seen or mentioned again until year 5
is only briefly around Harry in year 6 (you know, the year right after Sirius dies)
consents to starting a family and then almost immediately tries to leave that family behind once he finally gets bit by the "oh, maybe now I should try being Harry's surrogate parent" bug, then doesn't understand why that pisses Harry off
So. Yeah. You teach a kid the Patronus charm one time and suddenly you're the man who can Do No Wrong in 99.3% of all fanon material. It's irritating. Ships and/or found family stuff could wrangle with the man Remus is, they just choose not to in favor of recycling old fanon archetypes.
Sirius Black. Much of the same said above about Remus applies to Sirius tenfold. Sirius cares about Harry, sure, but lots of fans like to sand over the part where Sirius made one little protest about Harry going to the Dursleys, then fully committed to going after Pettigrew in 1981 without telling anyone about the Secret-Keeper switch, or anything that would have kept him out of jail even in our aforementioned corrupt wizarding society. In their minds, that evil meanie Dumbledore forced him to not whisk Harry away to Black Manor or whatever to raise him. *eyeroll*
Sirius is a character who is developmentally delayed in canon, but some of his fans downright infantilize him. Poor Sirius, he just wanted to be a baby gay and raise Harry but the Ministry/Dumbledore/That Woman just wouldn't let him. (You can argue the last one, but it is SO RARE to find a fanfic where Sirius has to grow the fuck up and face the consequences of his early choices, while also actually taking steps to be better and be a good surrogate dad for Harry.) Just because Sirius is Harry's godfather doesn't mean he's a perfect one. And he's not dealing with a typical kid either. Sirius and Harry wouldn't easily or neatly slot into typical familial roles because they've both Been Through Some Shit—and that's why their relationship is so compelling.
And I haven't even gone into the other side of fanon!Sirius, the one who's this devil-may-care man who Got All The Ladies in his time, is mostly physically and mentally unaffected by his Azkaban stint, and is only around to: support Harry in whatever independent!Harry schemes he has going on (screw Dumbledore! run away from the war somehow! become a Cool Dude! fight the power!), blather on about Lordships and fanon shit the real Sirius wouldn't give one toss about, or to give him girl advice on whatever girl (or harem) Harry is being shipped with in that particular fic. The only reason this version of Sirius isn't an obvious homophobic backlash to the "Sirius is gay" version is because I'm pretty sure this version came first chronologically in fandom. I'm actually not sure which version of Sirius is more annoying to me.
last but not least, we have:
Daphne Greengrass. Technically I shouldn't be able to put her here, because she doesn't even HAVE a canon personality. Everything about her besides her name, her House, and her sister('s relationship to Draco) is completely made up. But fanon has come to a Consensus on her, and this consensus is THE MOST annoying made-up persona in a fandom where we also have "he's just misunderstood/traumatized by the Muggle wars/going about things the wrong way!" Tom Riddle/Voldemort, "he was just being mean to Harry for his cover/Harry deserved it" Severus Snape, "brightest witch of her age And No Other Personality Traits" Hermione Granger, "he WAS going to change sides, really!" Draco Malfoy, and "purebloods wanting to gatekeep magical society and call uppity muggleborns slurs is fine actually" fanon discourse, among other irritants. Maybe it was intriguing the first time I read it. Now, it's not.
Every single time I see "politically-neutral blonde/black-haired ice queen who teaches Harry about Noble Houses/convinces him that Not All Slytherins/gets him on the Right Political Path For His Future" I want to throw up in my mouth. It's so fucking boring. It's not what Harry Potter is about to me, it's not what it should be about, and it's not even what I look for in other media. (I think the Sword of Truth series is the only series I read where there's actual politics that I care about, and it's still high fantasy!) So much Daphne and Haphne fandom content just feels like a bunch of people missed the point of the series, which is that pretentious family nonsense is just that and pureblood tradition shit doesn't matter. And Daphne's "backstory" is not even logical. Neutral factions? "Gray" factions? Do you really think that 1970s era Voldemort, at the top of his game, would have been okay with a supposedly prominent and influential pureblood family sitting out the war in the way the Greengrasses are often written? Like, actually saying "no thanks, our clan has always been capital-N Neutral" to him? No. Fuck no. He would have murdered them all and skipped away, leaving them to be found by other "fence-sitting" purebloods as an example. Yes, there are people who are neutral in wars, but not in the HP universe when Voldemort asks you directly. And the fanon Greengrasses would have been asked directly to get that skull tattoo.
I've even been bamboozled in the past into reading Haphnes that I think are going to be different but then start treading down this same stupid road, like the comments are getting to them or something. (And readers, why the fuck would you want to read the exact same fanfic 1,000 times but written by 1,000 different people? Hello??)
It's gotten to the point where it's actually refreshing if Daphne shows up in a fic and isn't shipped with Harry, or if she is but she has a completely different personality than the above. I'm reading a few Haphnes now that I can stomach because they are different or the plot is interesting enough for me to ignore the tropes, but it's been a long time since an HP fanon "collective character headcanon" or ship other than wolfstar has left such a bad taste in my mouth or caused me to actively avoid content with that character.
...oop. I know I said "last but not least" above but I forgot to mention Regulus Black so I'll briefly do so here. I don't know what happened in the last five-ish years but this man went from "devoted Voldemort follower who did one decent thing because he liked his slave, thank goodness, even though he slowed down the locket's destruction by taking it away" to "OMG my BLORBO he was fighting the GOOD FIGHT and also he's probably in love with James Potter!! and Lily is evil for keeping them apart!!" Huh?? Fanon's gonna fanon, but is one fanfic really responsible for all this? Jegulus and "secret freedom fighter Regulus" are just beyond my comprehension I guess. Mostly because it seems like fandom picks and chooses when they want a character to be evil-aligned-but-complex, and when they want to just sand over their rough edges and make them an Unsung Hero Who Did Nothing Wrong Ever. And also because I firmly believe that if James was gay, he'd have been with Sirius.
19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...
Teacher/student ships. (I mean, of course. I'm running this blog.) Of course IRL I don't condone that at all, but some of the most fascinating pairs in the HP universe are bonds between some of the professors and some of their students. Albus and Harry speak for themselves. But you've also got Minerva and Hermione to a lesser extent, and Snape with Draco in the early years (not so much later). And even those are nothing compared to the most interesting partnerships, which imo are between adults who at one point weren't both adults. Consider Albus and Minerva, who have been teaching, working and living together for at least five decades, before which Minerva was probably one of Albus' better Transfiguration students. Consider Albus and Snape, with Snape being the person who so recently graduated from being one of Albus' pupils to being one of his closest confidants. Consider Horace Slughorn and... well, Tom Riddle was my first choice, but really him with any student, because imo that man is very weird about networking with children. Hell, consider Albus and Tom because you know that was the most awkward seven years either of them has ever had, both being so powerful and skilled while intensely disliking each other. They're all so good. Playing with power dynamics can be fun. Especially when (and this is the only time I want politics in my HP fics!!) the older party potentially faces consequences, or doesn't, for taking advantage of the younger one, precisely because of who's involved and who's on the Hogwarts Board of Governors and what war's going on right now in the background and...
I think that's all the violence I can dish out for these questions! Thanks for the ask.~
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not-poignant · 2 years ago
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There's been lots of Temsen talk around here, so I thought I'd drop by and tell you how grateful I am for TND and Temsen in particular. (TW scars) I have scarring on both sides of my torso. It's not raised or painful, but it's very obviously there because of the colour difference with the rest of my skin. It looks like spots and mottles. In TND, you wrote about an old sickness that ended up causing some Vench's skin to have spots and mottles (maybe some of them were just born like that? Im unsure) Until it was revealed that that's how the spots and mottles came to be, I had envisioned the Vench as these beautiful creatures, you know? And after the backstory, I still did. It made me realise that someone else may find my spots beautiful too (although, I realise I'm not an underground skin touch wowie creature, so it's different, lol). What I'm trying to say is that that part of TND but also just TND as a whole has helped me work through and accept so many parts of myself. Once it's finished, may I print it? To keep it on my bookshelf :). If I were a better artist, I'd draw something for you from TND, and if I were a better writer, I'd write. I'm really trying to convey how much TND means to me, and I don't think I can properly. I wish I could make you a 7 course meal, because I am a decent cook! If I didn't love you before (I did), I certainly do now, for having created this wonderful story and blessing us with it. I hope you continue to do things you enjoy and take breaks and eat good food!! Love <3
Hi anon! Tbh a 7 course meal sounds nice, I've only eaten mandarins today, because I've been in too much pain/fatigue to manage like...meals. So I'm always very amazed / in awe when other people have the energy to make things like sandwiches.
In TND, you wrote about an old sickness that ended up causing some Vench's skin to have spots and mottles (maybe some of them were just born like that? Im unsure) Until it was revealed that that's how the spots and mottles came to be, I had envisioned the Vench as these beautiful creatures, you know?
Tbh, anon, all of the mottles except for very few which look very specific (and have only been described once), are all not scars, but very beautiful, shining parts of the vench's bodies. I mean, Augus also perceives the scars from the rotting sickness that Wirth explains as beautiful (it is a white, shining scar that's very noticeable), but every other time vench mottles are mentioned, they're just a part of the vench's normal skin, in the same way that frogs also have very pretty blotches/mixed colourations. Mottles are clan specific (scars aren't), in terms of their colours (in fact hair, eye, and mottle colour are all clan specific in The Nascent Diplomat).
So envisioning vench as beautiful creatures who have naturally occurring mottles (that aren't scars - the scars only affected one generation of vench and they are the vast minority, the only one we've met so far is Wirth) is what was intended re: the story.
That being said, I really love your interpretation of things as well. I've written stories in the past where characters have quite serious scars, and their love interest has always seen them as beautiful or as neutral, as having merit or as signifying how strong the person with the scars was, or generally as being significant in some way. Stories like Into Shadows We Fall, The Golden Age that Never Was, The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle, Stuck on the Puzzle, even moments in The Spoils of the Spoiled, Falling Falling Stars, and it will be present in stories like Mallory & Mount as well. It's definitely something I've spent time on as a concept, even if it's not something I did for more than about five seconds in The Nascent Diplomat!
In that sense, I definitely think you will meet someone who either finds your scars beautiful, or alternatively, just a neutral, normal part of you. I have over 3 metres of surgical scars on my body, anon, and that doesn't include the scars I have for other reasons (stretch marks for example). Some of those scars are in very obvious places, some aren't, but there's very few parts of my body you can look at without seeing at least some.
Meanwhile my partners both have freckles absolutely everywhere (though they're fading now, as they get older), and I think that's amazing and really cool, and I love those freckles, and I don't understand how anyone could mock someone for it, because that just doesn't compute to me.
No body is perfect, and any body that is, will not be perfect for long, we all have an expiry date, we all attain scars and wrinkles and blotches and freckles and warts and hormonal discolourations (I have two dark patches on my cheeks from being on the combined Pill for such a long time - my Mum always covered hers with foundation, I don't cover mine at all, it doesn't seem like there's much of a point when I have a 20cm scar on my neck anyway.
Learning to at least be neutral with our bodies, is an admirable and I would say even necessary goal. Learning to be positive or loving our bodies is amazing for the folks who can get there!
Once it's finished, may I print it? To keep it on my bookshelf :).
Of course!!!
I apologise for not having put down the kind of profound meaning that you picked up from the story, but I still really support and love that interpretation, especially since I've written versions of it across so many narratives in the past, and will continue to in the future. Your interpretation makes the narrative a lot more powerful, and that you turned it into something that you could use to help transform your feelings towards yourself and your scars and your body is an absolute credit to you. I think you're amazing :) <333
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bqstqnbruin · 3 years ago
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Not Like I'm in Love with You
Tumblr media
Hello I wrote a Jamie O fic inspired by a tik tok that I currently can't find but it had a song called "Not Like I'm in Love with You" in it and then this was born
Shout out to @raysofcrosby for refreshing the google doc so many times that she was 5031293 different anonymous animals while proofing this (long live anonymous dumbo octopus).
Have fun!
Warnings: Swearing
WC: 11.2K
__________________________
Put the phone down.
All she had to do was put it down.
Everything was typed out, but it’s not like she had to hit send on anything.
All she had to do was put it down.
“Annie, if you’re going to pick up your phone like that one more time, at least add weights to it to make it worth a workout,” her roommate, Harper said. Annie shot her a dirty look, obviously annoyed despite Harp being right. “Anastasia Greenwood, either text him to see what he’s doing, or put the phone down and watch this crappy rom com you made me put on.”
“It is not crappy, and don’t call me Anastasia,” Annie whines, staring at the screen as Zoey Deutch and Glen Powell conspired to set up their bosses in order to get time off from work. It was just the right amount of cheesy comedy mixed with Pete Davidson that made Annie melt and have the unreasonable desire to watch the movie at least once a week. She wanted the romance of two people falling in love without realizing they were in love until the last few minutes, something stupid happening that to make them finally understand that they had been with the right person all along. “You don’t like it because the main character has the same name as you.”
Harper let out a sigh, rolling her eyes at her friend. “I don’t like it because you’re using it as an escape from your reality that is pretty much the same thing as this movie.”
“I am not conspiring to set my boss up with someone. Laura already has a husband and two grown children. And four dogs. She’s happy. Plus, she has a roommate who gets engaged in the first ten minutes, you have no prospects of getting engaged any time soon, so,” Annie tries to counter, despite knowing exactly what Harper was getting on about.
Harper paused the movie, Zoey and Glen’s character’s hugging each other at Yankee Stadium as they watch their bosses on the kiss cam, the start of their plan finally coming together, frozen in motion. “We’re not talking about me, though. We’re talking about you, and you do have a crush on someone that both of you are too dumb to realize.”
“I’m a teacher. I can’t be that dumb. And I’m not dumb enough to not realize I have a crush. But that is all it is. He’s the one who doesn’t know about it.”
“Annie, you’re practically in love with him. How is him not realizing it better?”
“Because this way, I can just wallow in my misery and drown all my sorrows in stupid rom coms and ice cream while he lives his life and we go on being each other’s best friends and nothing will ever change,” Annie spits out all in one breath.
Harper stares at her, mouth hanging open like a fish while she starts to shake her head. “That,” she starts, hesitating while trying to find the right words. “That is not better.”
“Ok,” Annie says, stealing another glance at her phone. “Can we at least admit that this crush is better than my last one?”
Harper pauses for a second, thinking about Annie’s ex-boyfriend. “ You’ve had this crush since you met him, but I’m pretty sure that everyone is better than that human equivalent of a stale ham sandwich that you liked.”
“Justin was not that bad.”
“His name started with the letter J. Immediate red flag.”
“Jamie?”
“His name is his only red flag. And it’s a gender-neutral name anyway, less of a red flag.”
Before Annie could respond, her phone screen finally lights up, a text from Jamie showing up, then another, and another. Jamie normally didn’t send multiple texts at once, so something had to be up for him to do this. “Look at the messages,” Harper tells her, obvious annoyance in her voice over the unnecessary antics of her roommate. She knew for a fact that Annie’s life would be much easier and much less stressful if she just admitted to Jamie that she was into him. Everyone knew Jamie was into her the same way, he was just too much of a dumb boy to admit it.
Are you busy?
I have to tell you something
Can you come over?
“He wants to tell me something,” Annie said, trying to figure out if she should drop everything for him, or just lie to him and say that she was busy. Because to her, Harper would do anything to stop watching this movie and seeing her friend stare at her phone trying to will a boy into messaging her.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” Harper said, getting up and leaving before Annie could say anything else.
By the time Annie managed to get to Jamie, an hour had passed, seven more messages from Jamie came in, and Annie’s anxiety grew for no reason other than she was freaking out that he could potentially have bad news for her. She didn’t even have to knock on the door before he whipped it open, pulling her into his apartment without even saying a word.
“Jamie, fuck,” she said, wriggling free of his pull. “I’m not going to let you tell me anything if you pull my arm off and send me to the hospital.”
“Sorry, sorry, you just took so long, I got scared,” he says, sending a chill down Annie’s spine, plopping down on his sofa. “I just had to tell you about last night.”
Annie couldn’t read him as she sat down. Jamie looked nervous but excited, scared yet confident. She wasn’t sure how he could be portraying all these emotions when normally his emotional range was that of a corn chip, but something apparently happened last night that changed that for him. “Are you ok?”
“Oh, yeah,” he says, letting out a deep breath and flopping back on the cushions. “Haydn introduced me to the most amazing girl.”
Annie felt her heart stop when she saw him light up the way he was. He was staring at the ceiling, almost like she wasn’t there at all and he was just recounting his night to the air around him. She wanted to be the girl to do that for him, and thanks to Haydn, she couldn't be. At least not right now. Probably not ever for that matter. “Wha-what are you talking about?” she managed to stammer out.
“Haydn’s been telling me about this girl that he knows, he thought we would be a good match. And, god, I met her last night. Stass, I think she might be the one.”
Annie felt like she could die at that moment. She knew all she felt towards Jamie was a mild crush despite Harper’s insistence that it was more, but that didn’t mean she wanted to hear him talk about other girls to her. But of course he did; they shared everything with each other, no matter what it was. When her mom got sick and Harper couldn’t be around, Annie went to Jamie to tell him first because she couldn’t get a flight out to see her mom right away. When he was excited about playing really well in the first game back from an injury, he didn’t talk to his teammates, he burst through Annie’s door and they sat on her bed and talked about it the entire night. Jamie was there when her mom passed away, flying with her and Harper for the funeral and everything that went on, even going as far as missing two of his games for her. She was the first one he Facetimed when Penny won big at the Olympics, she was the one who he called when the trade rumors had freaked him out about the possibility of being in a city that was different than the one she was in.
And now he had another girl in his life that he was apparently going to spend the rest of his life with, and it wasn’t her. She never even got the chance for it to be her. If Jamie had another girl, then Annie wouldn’t be the one who he went to. She didn’t see how she could be.
Annie swallowed hard, trying to keep her cool and not burst into tears over some guy. No guy had ever been truly worth the tears, and she wasn’t about to let Jamie be the first one. “She’s really the one?”
“Well, maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. I only spent the night with her.” Jamie goes on to tell her about how the night was amazing, trying not to go into too much detail, thankfully, but just enough that Annie wanted to leave and never see him again. Harper couldn’t be right that she was in love with him, but there was no way that she could be this upset over the idea of her best friend spending a night with some girl if she wasn’t.
Annie felt herself spiraling, trying to focus on Jamie, seeing him so excited over a girl for the first time since they became friends. She had never seen him like this, and she wished she never did. She should have just listened to herself and put the phone down, just ignored the texting and focusing on the movie instead. A girls night back with Harper seemed like a much better option than being here watching Jamie talk about a girl the way he would never talk about her.
“I think you’d really like her,” she finally hears him say, Jamie leaning forward, placing his hand on Annie’s knee.
“What?” Annie said, wishing that she could forget this entire conversation. All she needed to do was go back the hour or so before she left to tell Jamie that she couldn’t come over. Then she wouldn’t have to hear this.
“Reagan. You’d really like her. You’re a lot like her.”
“Oh, yeah, just let me know when she’s free.”
------------------
“Anastasia, did you hear that?”
She had no idea who said that, looking back up from her computer to see her head of school standing in front of her, trying not to cringe at the use of her full name. “Uh,” she started, feeling the heat rush to her cheeks as Laura was standing in front of her, not looking entirely pleased with her zoning out during the faculty meeting. They were only once a month after school and were the epitome of ‘this could have been an email,’ but they were still mandatory. “Yes, I did.”
“So what are your thoughts on it?”
‘Increasing tuition so we can also increase our salary and department budgets for supplies’ popped up on her computer screen from Ally sitting next to her.
“Well, as long as parents are alright with the increase, I don’t see why it would be a bad thing. It gives us as teachers the opportunity to purchase more things for our classrooms that would directly benefit our students, and a higher paycheck for us is something I personally wouldn’t say no to.” ‘Increase by $500 per student for the year’ came in from Ally again. “The $500 still keeps our tuition lower than some of the other independent schools while still helping us maintain the same academic standards as those schools.” Laura seemed to be satisfied with that answer, moving on to the next topic of the meeting: the anticipated openings of the school, going on to talk about how they needed people to sit in on interviews, if anyone had any candidates in mind, send them to Laura, etc., etc.
The rest of the meeting moved at a snail's pace, the hour-long meeting feeling like it could have overtaken two days. But she was barely thinking about the meeting or anything else related to school.
Jamie had been texting her all day about Reagan, trying to figure out what was the best day for them all to meet up. This was while trying to maintain her classroom with a lab that wasn’t working for half of her students and having to give them the choice of borrowing the data from another group who would be willing to share or coming in at another time to redo the entire lab. Needless to say, Jamie texting her about Reagan was not a welcome distraction.
The meeting ends without Annie even realizing it, just absentmindedly staring at her computer while she tries to figure out her lesson for the next day.
“Hey,” she hears from in front of her, Ally and Luke standing in front of her. “I know your students call you a space cadet, but you’re really out of it today.”
Annie shakes her head, the three of them heading back to their classrooms. They were three of the younger teachers in the school, naturally sticking together as much as they could. It also meant that Annie had someone who could relate to what she was going through at work; teenagers could be ruthless, especially to someone who isn’t that much older than they are.
“None of my students call me a space cadet. But, I just didn’t sleep that well last night,” she lies, feeling her phone buzzing in her pocket. The two of them looked at her like they didn’t believe her, shaking their heads and pushing past her into her classroom.
“So what really happened?” Luke asked her, plopped down at one of the desks, leaning on the table like her students do when they’re pretending to listen to her teaching.
“Nothing,” she lies again.
“Annie.”
“Fine,” she huffs, giving in because she knew her friends would keep asking her until she told them the truth. “ It’s Jamie.”
“That hockey player?” Ally asks, going into Annie’s desk drawer. “Yes, what are you doing?” Before she can pull Ally from her desk, she pulls out the bag of candy that Annie has hidden from her students, tossing a piece to Luke before taking one for herself and settling down on the desk table. “That’s for good behavior.”
“All of us know you’ve eaten more of this bag than all of your students combined,” Ally says, Luke nodding in agreement, his eyes on Ally as he did. “Anyway, why are you thinking about hockey guy?”
Annie let out a groan, wishing that she didn’t have to relive the night before at Jamie’s place, knowing that she would have to tell Harper everything since she hadn’t seen her since leaving in the first place. “He asked me over his place last night and-”
“Did you finally hook up?” Luke asked, Ally starting to bounce up and down.
“Jesus, you’re worse than the students, no,” Annie scolds them.
“If you’re telling the students about your hookups then you have other issues going on,” Ally tells her. “That’s not what I meant. It’s the interrupting and the weird need to invade my personal life. But no, he was telling me about this girl one of his teammates introduced him to, Reagan. The girl is Reagan, not the teammate. Apparently, he thinks she could be the love of his life.”
“He’ll dump her soon,” Ally says.
“You have a whole room of chemicals ten feet away from you, just pull a Breaking Bad on her and you’re fine,” Luke suggests.
The two girls look at him with their mouths hanging open. “What is making meth going to do to get her away from Jamie?” Annie asked, trying to figure out where Luke could have made that connection.
“Just plant it on her then call the FBI.”
“Ok, next time you have a group of boys hanging out in your room during free period, do not listen to their conversation,” Ally tells him, Luke rolling his eyes and sitting back in the chair. “And don’t listen to him. He’s a guy, what does he know?”
“I know enough to teach biology,” Luke counters.
“And despite having a degree in the science of life, you know shockingly little about the female one.”
“Ok, no, no,” Annie gets up from her desk, standing in front of her two friends like she was teaching her students, pacing back and forth between her desk and them. “We spend all day with kids and their drama, I do not need you two reenacting it when talking about my love life.”
“Or lack thereof,” Luke adds. Annie, back at her desk, pulls out a piece of candy from the bag and whips it at him for his comment, Ally laughing while Luke struggles to dodge her throw as the sound of it smacking his skin caused even Annie to wince. “Fuck, you coaching softball makes so much more sense now.”
“Can you say something helpful?” Annie asked him, pleading and annoyed with him at the same time.
“That’s not fun, though,” Luke says, Ally and Annie both glaring at him. “Ok, from a guy's perspective, if he really likes you, he probably doesn’t know it yet. Reagan is probably just some sort of detour on his way to realizing he’s into you.”
“Has he been with any girl since he moved here?” Ally asks.
“Not seriously, nothing more than a hookup,” she tells them, all those nights at the bar watching him find a new girl to take home while she sat there wishing he would just look at her for once. God, she sounded like a shitty teenage love song. How was she any better than her students in that moment?
“He just needs to meet one girl to realize that you love each other and then bam, your students will be calling you ‘Mrs. Hockey Man’ before you know it,” Luke tells her.
“You still don’t know his last name is Oleksiak?” Ally asks him.
“I teach half of the freshman and senior class, we’re lucky I know your names.”
“Guys, hey, love the impersonation of our students, but can we come back to being adults for a minute?” Annie interrupted them. “I’m not in love with him. And he’s not in love with me. He’s my best friend, and honestly, that’s all we’re going to be.”
“Then why would him starting to see a girl make you so distracted I had to save your ass during the meeting? You’re welcome for that, by the way.”
“Yeah, yeah, thanks,” Annie brushes it off, “And I don’t know. I don’t want to see him get hurt?”
“You don’t want to see him get hurt, or you don’t want to be hurt?”
------------------
“Why are you making me come to this tonight?”
“Because you have nothing else to do and I need backup.”
“How do you know I have nothing else to do?”
Annie held her hair on her curling iron, staring at Harper through the mirror while her roommate tried to do her makeup. “Harp, I love you, but you haven’t had anything to do on a weekend that didn’t involve me in three months.”
“That’s a choice,” Harper tries to defend herself.
“Why would that be your choice?”
“You’re the only person I don’t want to kill most of the time.”
“Ok, Harper. But, you said you didn’t want me to meet Reagan alone with just Jamie there, so here we are, going out with Jamie, the girl he says is the one that is apparently just like me”
“And like half of his team.”
“So that way if Jamie and Reagan start trying to swallow each other we still have people who we know that we can talk to.”
“What do you think people who are in relationships do with each other when they’re in public, Stass?”
Annie didn’t hear the entire question. The word relationship stuck out to her like a sore thumb, the thought of Jamie not only seeing her, but being committed to her was probably Annie’s worst nightmare. But what if she made him happy? What if she really was good for him?
“Hey, Annie,” Harper pulled her roommate out of her internal spiral. “We don’t have to meet her if you don’t want to. You could tell him I’m sick and that you want to stay with me if I need anything. Use me as an out.”
Annie lets out a sigh, turning off the curling iron and carefully setting down on the bathroom counter. “No, I have to meet her at some point, I might as well get it over with.”
“Didn’t he say she was just like you?” Harper asks her, pulling her out of the bathroom as they tried to gather the last few things that they needed before leaving.
“Yeah, why?”
“If he ends up with her, like, forever, doesn’t that mean that he’s dating you but not dating you?”
Annie took a second to process what Harper just said. He was dating her, but at the same time not. Why was Reagan good enough for him to be with, but she wasn’t? “How do you think that helps me?”
Harper shrugs, grabbing Annie’s wrist and dragging her out of their apartment to meet everyone at the bar. Worst case, Annie could just try to find a random guy to hook up with. What better way to deal with your emotions than by just kissing some random guy that you have no interest in seeing ever again?
On their way to the bar, Annie’s phone started going off, her heart starting to race as she hoped that it would be messages from Jamie. If she were living out a random romance novel that she spent way too much time reading and fantasizing over, it would be him telling her that he dumped Reagan and only wanted to see her. Instead, it was her group chat with Ally and Luke, letting her know that they had planned on meeting up with her and her friends at the bar.
More backup was good. More distraction from Jamie was good.
The two of them make a beeline to the group of guys that were sitting in the back of the bar, the group not hard to spot given their noise and their demeanor compared to the rest of the patrons there.
“You came!” Jamie yelled, clearly already drunk despite it being way too early in the night. He got up and hugged Annie, lifting her off her feet as he held her close. He buried his face in her neck, Annie having no choice but to hug him back, wishing that this hug meant something more to him than just him drunkenly excited to see her. “I’ve been waiting for you to get here,” he whispers to her.
He was just drunk.
He probably thought that she was Reagan or someone else.
It didn’t mean anything that he was saying this to her.
“Of course I came,” she tells him, a small smile on her face. Annie felt her heart flutter by his hands lingering on her waist, Jamie not letting go despite their greeting being long over. Annie turns around in hopes that Jamie would let go, wanting to say hi to his teammates. Instead, she felt his hands tighten slightly around her, Haydn’s eyes following his teammates fingers before a smirk covered his face, Harper’s expression mirroring his.
Annie wriggled free from Jamie, the heat rushing to her cheeks and already knowing that she was never going to hear the end of this from Harper when they got home. She sat down, Jamie sitting next to her, his knee touching hers under the table. He was just drunk. He was always like this when he was drunk.
It meant nothing now, like it meant nothing then.
“So, where’s this Reagan that I’ve been hearing all about?” Annie asks him over the music.
“She couldn’t make it tonight.”
Annie felt a weight lifting off her shoulders, releasing the breath that she didn’t know she was holding in. “Oh, that sucks,” she lies. “Is everything alright?’
Jamie nods, taking a sip of his drink before passing it over to her, something he did every time they went out together and he got something he thought she would like. “She has an early morning tomorrow or something.”
He starts rambling about something Annie can’t make out over the noise, taking it upon herself to finish the drink that he had passed her instead of doing anything to listen to him. She didn’t care how drunk he was, she didn’t want to listen to him rant about Reagan.
Her phone lights up on the table, a few texts from Ally and Luke telling her where they were, another one from Haydn coming up as well.
‘I don’t think he actually wanted her to come.’
She looks up at him, seeing him talk with his teammates as if he weren’t just looking at his phone a second ago. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I was with him when she said she couldn’t come. He wasn’t that upset.’
Annie stands up, trying to figure out how to process Haydn’s texts with the drink hitting her as fast as it was. She gets up to the bar, not expecting Haydn right behind her when she turned around. “Jesus, you’re like a pop-up book from hell.”
“That sounds like something one of your students would say,” he says, leaning next to her on the bar counter. The two of them stand in silence for a second, waiting for the bartender to come over for their orders. “He said he didn’t mind Reagan not coming if you were going to be here tonight.”
Annie looks at him, shocked. “What?”
“He was worried that you’d be too tired from the week to come out. Jamie was going to go home if you weren’t here by, like, eleven.”
“Why would he do that?”
Haydn lets out a laugh, shaking his head at her. “You know he loves you.”
“Like a sister.”
“He does not love you like he loves Penny, Hayley, or Claire.”
“So like a friend.”
“Aren’t Chemistry teachers supposed to be good at reasoning through evidence? Shouldn’t any science teacher be able to do that?”
“I work with data and numbers, and trying to figure out why my students didn’t get a one to one ratio of magnesium and oxygen when they did their empirical formula lab.”
“I’m going to pretend like any of what you said just made sense, but come on, you do observations and shit as part of your labs. I should know, Jamie comes to practice and talks about all the stuff you show him that you teach your kids. You should be the first one to notice that he likes you.”
“Then why did you introduce him to Reagan?”
“He’s too dumb to notice that he loves you so he needed a little detour to get there.”
“If this ends poorly and he ends up with her, this is your fault.”
“You won’t do anything, you’ll lose your teaching license if you get arrested.”
“I firmly believe that there are two main reasons why there are statistically more men convicted or murder: one, men are not to be trusted and two, women are better are getting away with it. Don’t test me,” she tells him, flashing a smile and turning away from him as he laughed. She found Ally and Luke, the two of them nowhere near the rest of her friends. Standing there with them was a guy she didn’t recognize, but from what she could make out, he was kind of attractive. He looked just like someone she knew, but she couldn’t put her finger on who he resembled, the slightly curly light brown hair, tall, somewhat fit, a goofy smile as he laughed at something Ally had just said.
“Annie!” Luke screamed, pulling her in for a hug. “Have you met my roommate Sam?”
The mystery man extends his hand out for her, flashing a smile that made Annie melt a little and introduced himself. “It’s nice to meet you, Anastasia.”
Annie hated her full name, it only being used when she was being scolded for something. Everyone called her Annie, with the exception of Stass coming from Harper and Jamie. But hearing Sam call her Anastasia? That was different.
The two of them get to talking, Sam telling her that he was in his third year of law school and already had a job lined up at one of the big name law firms in the area for when he graduated. They were so interested in their conversation, they didn’t even notice that Ally and Luke had left the bar completely, their only reason for going being the set up planned between Annie and Sam.
Across the bar, Jamie stood up to look for Annie, wanting to talk to her for the sake of conversation while his teammates were screaming about god only knows what. Haydn was there at the table, Harper was, too. So where was his best friend?
He finally locks eyes with Annie, seeing her talking to a guy he didn’t know. He saw the way she smiled at him, the guy pulled her close to him as someone tried to squeeze behind her with a precariously filled drink. He watched as the guy's hand lingered on her body, Annie doing nothing to get his hand off her. Jamie wanted to be that guy, for whatever reason, that was holding on to her and guiding her through the bar.
Jamie sits down once he loses them in the crowd, his mind racing over all the possibilities of what they could be up to with a sea of strangers around them.
His phone lights up, a text from Reagan that he wasn’t even excited to read flashing on his screen. ‘I just got home. Do you want to come over?’
His fingers hover over his screen, trying to figure out how to answer. He was so preoccupied by Annie that he couldn’t even think about spending the night with Reagan, let alone even generate a response to her yes or no question.
‘Heading home, not feeling too well. Talk tomorrow after practice?’
------------------
“You know what you should do to make chemistry more exciting?” Luke said. The three of them always had the same lunch together, switching whose classroom they ate in based on who had the free period next. They were sitting in Ally’s room, an English classroom turned her math class that still had the fun reading corner. The three of them were sprawled out on the couches and comfy chairs with their food, hoping that lunch would last long and that no students would come looking for them for help while they were eating.
“I would say have you teach it but I want my students to actually stay awake during my lessons.”
“They’ve only fallen asleep once,” Luke tries to defend himself. “You’ve never had a student fall asleep in your class?”
Ally and Annie both shake their heads no, Luke slumping down further into his chair as he mumbled something neither of them could hear. “Do you want to tell me what would make my class more fun before I hurt your feelings more?” Annie offered, knowing that she would hate the response no matter what he suggested.
“I was going to say,” Luke started, a grin on his face that made Annie instantly regret giving him the opportunity to share, “You should bring someone fun in to do an experiment with them. They would go nuts over that.”
Annie knew she should have just stopped there, especially with Ally’s smirk into her food that she was trying to hide by lifting her container as close to her face as possible. “And who do you think I should bring in that’s fun, Luke?”
“Jamie.”
“No.”
“Please?”
“Why?”
“Because I think it would be funny trying to watch you control yourself around our kids when Jamie is around.” Annie took a piece of chicken from her lunch and threw it at Luke, him barely dodging it and ending up with the sauce on his face, a little bit on the white button down shirt he wore more often than he probably should. “Hey!”
“You deserved that,” Annie tells him. She could ‘control herself’ when Jamie was around her students. He had come to school events with her plenty of times; graduation every year, when she chaperoned school dances, he was even on a summer trip with them when they went to D.C. one year as a chaperone when no one else could come. Having him in for a lab would be no different and not necessary.
“Why not just have him in anyway?” Ally asks. “Come on, think about how much Laura would love that for the school for the weekly? A professional hockey player coming to do a lab with the kids? She’d lose her mind.”
“Ally’s right.”
“Ok, you,” Annie started, pointing at Luke, “Are suggesting it to be a dick. You don’t get a say in who is right or wrong. I’m not asking Jamie to do a lab, he has practice or travel almost every day.”
“They have off days,” Luke points out.
She couldn’t ask him to do a lab with her students. There’s no way that could happen. “Hey, what are you doing?” Annie asks, seeing Luke and Ally now sitting next to each other on the couch, Ally leaning over on Luke’s shoulder, Annie thinking that she saw Luke’s chest rise and fall a little faster with Ally so close to him.
“When are you doing a lab next?”
“Probably on Thursday?”
“He’s free.” Luke had a smile on his face that made Annie squirm, finally noticing that he was holding her phone in his hands.
“Oh, what the fuck did you do, Luke?” Annie grabs her phone from him, seeing her conversation with Jamie pulled up. Luke had asked Jamie to come for a lab on Thursday, him answering that he would within a matter of seconds. “Not a day goes by that I don’t want to kill you.”
“You’re a teacher, tell me something new for once.”
“You shouldn’t be taunting the teacher who has the key to the cabinet with all the dangerous chemicals,” Annie pouts.
“He said he would come within seconds of you asking him though, it might be worth it just to have him.”
The bell rings before Annie could answer, now having to go back to her classroom while Ally and Luke probably spend more time scheming about how to make her want to set herself on fire by bringing a man into her lab. How could Annie even think about whatever lesson she was working on while Jamie was waiting for a response from her?
------------------
Annie didn’t get home from school until late, Harper’s car already in her parking space waiting for Annie’s car to join. The rest of Annie’s day was spent trying to figure out how to navigate the floodgate that Luke opened by texting Jamie. Thankfully, the rest of Annie’s classes involved her students doing practice problems, so not much actually thinking was needed to teach them. All she had to do was give them a packet, tell them to work together and, boom, the lesson is done. Teamwork, chemistry, and problem solving, all in one, whether the students knew it or not.
“Harper, you would not believe what Luke and Ally did,” Annie says, bursting through the door and nearly throwing her work bag across the room.
“Harper’s in her room.”
Annie looks up from her fallen bag, seeing Jamie sitting on her couch. He had the remote to her tv in one hand, his other resting on the back of the couch. The t-shirt he was wearing hugged his body perfectly, looking like it fit just well enough that Annie could see every curve and vein in his muscles.
Fucking hell, why did he have to wear a shirt like that and look like that?
“What are you doing here?”
“Harp let me in.”
“Ok, so what are you doing here?”
“You never texted me back.”
“So you show up and make yourself at home on my couch?”
Jamie looks at her, flashing puppy dog eyes and a stupid pout that made Annie melt inside. “I was worried and needed to make sure you were ok.”
“I know you well enough to know you needed an excuse to order food instead of making it yourself. We both know that any conversation we can have can be done over the phone or it’s done over food and there is no in between.”
“I might already have pizza being delivered here,” he admits.
Annie laughs, sitting down next to him on the couch. She wanted to curl up with him, his arm extended out on the back of the couch as if he were reaching out to her. She couldn’t focus on the show they were watching, some sitcom that Jamie had definitely been binge-watching recently that Annie couldn’t think of the title of. Why did he have to be with Reagan? Why did she have to have feelings for her best friend when her life could just be easy and they could just be friends with nothing more?
And why was she feeling this way and he wasn’t?
“So, those texts you got from me today?” Annie finally breaks the silence between them, knowing that they had to talk about it sooner rather than later.
“Yeah, Thursday we don’t have practice or travel, so it actually works out perfectly for me to come and do a lab with your students. Can we do something fun? Can we light something on fire?” he asked her, lighting up like a little kid in a candy store.
“Ok, calm down there,” she says, reaching out and putting her hand on his chest as a way to get him to stop. “You’re acting like my students right now and I always tell them no. Jamie, I didn’t even send those texts.”
His expression immediately deflates, him reaching up to touch Annie’s hand as he pouts at her. “Do you not want me to come?”
She hadn’t expected him to look so hurt by this, or for him to actually get excited about visiting a high school chemistry class to do something that was probably going to go right over his head anyway. “I do, but Luke was the one who sent the text. It was his and Ally’s idea. Do you actually want to come?”
“Well, Reagan and I were supposed to hang out on Thursday, but I can cancel that.”
Reagan. For a moment Annie forgot she existed, still unable to meet her or even talk to her since she never seemed to be with Jamie. For the girl who was supposed to be the one for him, she was never really around to be his ‘one.’ “No, you should go spend time with her, you coming to do the lab isn’t that important,” Annie told him, sitting back to face the TV again. He should choose Reagan over her. There was no reason he shouldn’t choose Reagan over her, even if Annie wanted to be the one he chose.
“Come on, Stass, anything with you is important to me. You really think I wouldn’t come for you first?”
What would it look like if Jamie came to her classroom for a lab? He was just a guy she knew with nothing to really connect him to the classroom. He couldn’t just come by himself. “Do you think any of your teammates could come with you? That way it’s like a Kraken thing instead of just some random guy showing up to a classroom?”
“When you say it like that, it’s creepy,” Jamie laughs. “But, sure, I’ll ask some of the guys.”
Having some of the other guys there provided a buffer for her; she didn’t have to worry about it being just the two of them around her students, who would, of course, making everything about the two of them a big deal. When Luke first started teaching at the school, the students immediately assumed he and Annie would start dating. She didn’t even want to think what the high schoolers would do if they saw the way she and Jamie interacted alone. His teammates being there would mean she could focus on them instead of him.
------------------
“Ms. Greenwood, you have visitors waiting for you in the main office,” Mrs. Brown’s voice came through on Annie’s classroom phone. Jamie was there with his teammates and there was nothing that could make Annie more anxious. Laura got word that the Kraken were coming, arranging for someone to take pictures of her and her students with them, as well as invited the Board of Trustees to her classroom to see everything.
She hated Luke for sending that text.
“Come with me to get the guys,” Annie said, poking her head into Luke’s room to quickly yell at him for what he did. “It’s your fault they’re here anyway.”
“Hey, all I did was send a text. He didn’t have to say yes,” Luke tried to defend himself.
“You didn’t have to send the text in the first place.”
“If you didn’t like him, this wouldn’t be an issue.”
Annie stops in her tracks, her hand flinging out to make Luke stop walking as well. His eyes went wide as he was caught off guard and thrown off balance. “Don’t you think I know that? What do you think it’s like to have whatever sort of feelings these are for your best friend when you know there is nothing you can do that will get them to ever feel the same about you?” she asked him in a hushed voice. “I do not need you meddling in my personal life and trying to set me up with Jamie.”
“Why do you think I introduced you to Sam?”
“What?”
“You need to make up your mind. Either you like Jamie and you do something about it, or you forget the crush and move on with someone new. Sam likes you, Annie. He hasn’t been able to stop talking about you since he met you at the bar. Why do you think he’s been texting you nonstop and trying to meet up with you again? The only reason he knows it’s hard is because he knows you're a teacher and knows you’re busy and tired at the end of the day.”
Luke pushes past her, leaving Annie to try to process what she just heard. Sam barely knew her. How would he even know that he liked her if they had only talked in person once? There was no way he could. If Jamie didn’t like her, why would Sam like her?
“Hey,” Annie catches up to him, “I didn’t know.”
Luke takes in a deep breath, his hand on the office door ready to pull it open to get the guys. “I just don’t want to see you hurt pining over a guy who doesn’t like you when there’s someone so close to you who does. It sucks to love someone who doesn’t love you,” he tells her, his shoulders dropping as he looked down to his feet.
Annie gasped, finally realizing what he meant, putting her hand on the office door to stop him from opening it. “Are you talking about Ally?”
“What? No, I,” Luke stammers, clearly panicking over what Annie asked. She raised her eyebrow at him, a knowing smile on her face to try to get him to confess. The way he looks at her, how he always tries to spend their free periods together no matter what else he has to get done, how Annie could see his breathing changing by the simple act of Ally being near him. It was obvious. “Yeah.”
“I won’t say anything,” she promises. “But thanks for looking out for me.”
“I think I deserve a raise for all I do for you.”
“I think you’re lucky I haven’t committed a felony and framed you for it.”
Luke laughs, finally opening the door to get Jamie and his teammates who had been waiting for what felt like way too long.
On the other side, Jamie was nervous for this, bouncing up and down on his toes, pacing in front of the guys while he waited for Annie to get him. He was used to her being there for his games, seeing him in his element, and doing what he loved most, but couldn’t help but feel a mixture of anxiety and excitement to see Annie doing what she loved.
“Can you stop?” Haydn asks him. “It’s just Annie.”
“It’s Annie and all her students.”
“And it’s still Annie.”
“What if we mess up the lab?”
“Then she’ll help us fix it.”
“What if someone gets hurt?”
“She said this lab uses water, glitter, food coloring, and nail polish remover. If someone gets hurt from this lab, that is natural selection coming for them.”
“What if-”
“How are things going with Reagan?” Haydn cuts him off, hoping that the subject change would help his teammate calm down.
Before Jamie could answer, he hears Annie’s laugh filling the office, seeing her and Luke walking up to greet them. “Who?”
“Ready to do some science?” Annie asks them, not noticing Jamie’s visible nerves or Haydn’s smirk on his face.
“What are we doing, anyway?” Brandon asks.
“We’re making our schools colors in a water bottle by playing around with the way different substances interact with each other.” Annie goes on to explain the lab to them, apparently the same way that she is going to explain it to her students. Jamie tried to listen, but he couldn’t focus. He didn’t know what it was about seeing Annie like this as she walked them to her classroom, all dressed in her teaching outfit that he normally only saw her in for a brief moment before she changed into her sweatpants and what was normally one of his tshirts or sweatshirts that she had stolen from him. Why couldn’t he focus? What was different about her now that he was seeing her this way when he spent all his free time with her to begin with?
The guys were milling around the lab tables, trying to figure everything out before Annie’s students came in.
“Oh, Annie,” Luke says to her, her phone in his hand. “Sam texted you.”
Annie rolled her eyes, a smile forming on her face regardless, “You already know my passcode, what did he say?”
“He wants to know if you’re free tonight.”
Jamie’s head turned at those words, some guy asking Annie if she could see him. “Who’s Sam?”
“He’s my roommate. He has a thing for Annie,” Luke says, a smug look on his face as he looks between Jamie, Annie, and Annie’s phone. “So are you free?”
“We were busy,” Jamie says, defensive with his arms crossed over his chest.
“We were going to watch a movie and order food, we can do that any time,” Annie tells him, feeling the heat rushing to her cheeks over the thought of ditching Jamie to see Sam. “Now you can see Reagan, you haven’t hung out with her in a while.”
“Uh, yeah,” Jamie mutters, Haydn playfully punching him in the arm as he watched his teammate get flustered.
“Tell him I’m free,” Annie says, feeling guilty but excited. Sam likes her for sure. She could like Sam. She couldn’t see why she wouldn’t like Sam; he was a law student, he was smart, caring, funny, and he certainly is attractive. Why did she feel like she shouldn't see him?
The bells rings, Annie’s students starting to file into her classroom moments later, none of them noticing the guys standing in the back, sadly not surprising since the only things they notice are the random trinkets that she’s collected over the last few years that they bring to her like crows.
“It’s lab day everyone,” Annie says in her teacher voice, “Who’s ready to make our school colors in a bottle?” The students start talking a little bit, Annie standing there waiting for them to quiet down and listen. “How many of you know the phrase ‘opposites attract?’”
Annie’s students raised their hands and nodded before she continued. “We’ve been talking about our intermolecular forces, our IMFs. The phrase opposites attract doesn’t actually apply to this, though. Molecules with the same forces are going to be attracted to each other. We are going to be dying water yellow and acetone blue and see what happens when they mix. Because structurally, they are similar, they’ll interact in a way that reflects that, mixing together as if they are one, until something stronger comes in and pulls them apart.”
------------------
“So, what’s it like teaching chemistry?” Sam asks Annie. He had taken her out to dinner as their first date, some place that was definitely more fancy than anywhere she could afford, but he insisted their first time out be something nice and something he wanted to treat her two. He actually used the reason of ‘you do so much for your students every day, let me do something for you in return,’ which made Annie melt more than it should have.
Annie spent nearly an hour just trying to pick out an outfit. She couldn’t figure out what to wear that wasn’t her teaching clothes. She was nervous about going out on a date for what felt like the first time in forever, Harper doing nothing to help her nerves as she is, as she so loudly proclaimed, ‘Team Jamie’ and not ‘Team Sam.’ It didn’t matter to her that Jamie was seeing Reagan and that Sam actually liked Annie, Harper was fixated on the idea of her and Jamie finally getting together, despite the fact that it would never happen.
Luke was right. Annie needed to focus on someone who actually expressed interest in her, not someone who didn’t.
“It’s fun,” she starts, trying to put into words what it was really like. “Seeing the kids have a breakthrough and finally getting something that they spend days trying to learn is one of the best feelings. And the relationships that you get to form between you and the students? Having them trust you enough to be the person they go to when they need help or when they have something good to share is amazing.”
Sam held his gaze on her the entire time, like he was taking in every word that came out of her as if it was the most interesting stuff he ever heard. “That’s awesome, I love that. Luke never talks about teaching like that.”
Annie laughs, thinking about her friend and trying to imagine talking about their job the way she does. “Does he talk about anything like that?”
Sam scoffs, shaking his head. “The only thing I know about his job that he really enjoys is Ally. Then you’re maybe a close second. Everyone else he could do without.”
“I think he picked the wrong job then if he doesn’t like the students.”
“I think he sticks with it because he likes Ally.”
“How long have you known about that?” Annie asks.
“He told me beginning of the year that he was into a coworker, but I didn’t know if was you or Ally.”
“So we’re teaming up to try to get them together, right?” Annie asks him.
Sam smiles at her, Annie feeling a tingle down her spine at the way he looked at her. He reached out across the table for her hand, his fingers closing around Annie’s. “That means that we have to keep seeing each other, Anastasia.”
Annie stops for a moment, feeling nothing as her hand laid in Sam’s. There was no spark, no chills sent through her from his touch. Maybe she just read too many romance books and watched rom coms too many times, but she was expecting at least something. It was just missing. Him smiling at her was nice, but she thought having contact with him would give her something.
She was overthinking it. He liked her. She could like him. What was wrong with that?
“I think I’d like that.”
The night goes on with Annie and Sam deep in conversation. Talking to him was easy, sort of like talking to Luke. Her mind kept going back to Jamie the entire time, hoping that her phone screen would light up with a notification that he was texting her, calling her, snapchatting her, anything that would mean he wanted to talk to her. He knew she was out with Sam, though.
He could still text her.
Sam pays for dinner, escorting Annie out of the restaurant and to the sidewalk, the wind blowing just enough to make Annie shiver. Sam takes off his jacket, draping it over her shoulders and guiding her back to his car with his arm around her. “Do you want me to drop you off back at your place?”
“Yeah,” Annie says, “I have to get to school early tomorrow to clean up from the labs today.”
“Luke told me some guys from the Kraken came? How’d it go?”
“It was good,” Annie says, both of them getting into his car. “I’m friends with them anyway, so it’s not like it was weird or anything. The kids had fun doing it, too.” She pulls out her phone, showing him a video that she took of one of the student’s bottles. They shook it up, a huge smile on their face, causing the liquid to turn green. Annie had zoomed in on the bottle as they set it down, the liquid separating out into their school colors, blue and yellow.
Annie noticed Jamie in the background, talking with one of her students. Peyton was one of her students who she had trouble connecting with, trying hard to talk to her before classes started but never really having much success. Her grades were fine, she was just quiet and didn’t really want to interact. Annie knew Peyton had social anxiety, so trying to let her pick her partners or having her work with a student Annie thought she was comfortable with in hopes of Peyton participating more and really getting to enjoy the subject was Annie’s goal, but she has paired Peyton with everyone at least once, and no one has been able to get Peyton to really talk. Jamie, however, she warmed right up to, talking with him and working with him like they were best friends. Annie couldn’t help but be in awe over Jamie’s ability to get her to open up, and seeing her excited about the lab working perfectly while she was with Jamie was the highlight of her day.
But as much as she was watching Jamie and Peyton, she still felt like Jamie’s eyes were on her while she just tried to focus on her students. There was so much pressure for the entire lab to go perfectly, and having him there only made her nervous. On top of anticipating going out with Sam that night, Laura breathing down her neck, and the Board members there to see the teacher who managed to convince members of the Kraken to come to the school without really needing much persuasion, the last thing she needed was him staring at her the entire time. She wanted to know why he was, what had happened between the last time she talked to him and him being in her classroom that his demeanor had changed. It could have been something to do with Reagan, but why would that affect the way he acted around Annie?
Annie finally looked up from her phone, Sam inches from her face as they were both leaning over the center console to watch the video. She felt her breath hitch as he reached over, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, his fingers lazily tracing a pattern down her jaw. “This might sound weird, but can I kiss you?” he asks her.
Her heart was racing, Sam waiting for her answer, his hand still on her face. She couldn’t say no. “Of course.”
His lips connected with hers, and Annie felt...
Nothing.
There was nothing there for her.
It was just a kiss from a guy that she wished was Jamie.
------------------
“Why are you so jittery?” Haydn asks Jamie after practice. “You looked like you were afraid of the puck every time someone passed it to you.”
“I just have something on my mind,” Jamie tells him, not entirely lying to his teammate.
“It’s a girl, isn’t it?” Brandon teases him.
Before Jamie could process what was going on, his teammates were surrounding him, ready to know why he had the shitty practice he did. “What’s she like? Her name is Reagan, right?” Ryan asks him.
“This girl is the most incredible girl I have ever met in my entire life,” he starts. Not hearing all that Ryan said, “She is so intentional. She is so caring, and so selfless to others and sacrifices her time and her energy, even when I don’t even think she has it. She, like, comes from this source, I don’t even know where to get the energy to, like, care and, like, love people and,” he lets out a long sigh, passing his hands over his face in frustration, “she makes me feel safe and she makes me feel valued, and, I’m, like scared. I’m really scared, because I’m, like, what if I’m not able to care for you the same way that you’re caring for me right now? And all I wanna do, all I wanna do right now, we’re like three hours away from her, all I wanna do right now is go home and make her smile.”
Haydn looked at him, trying to take in all that his teammate just said. Jamie had no idea what he just said. “Who are you talking about?”
Jamie stared at him for a second, realizing he wasn’t talking about Reagan. “Fuck.”
“You’re talking about Annie, aren’t you?” Haydn asked him. Before Jamie could even try to put together what his teammate had known for a while, he continued. “It’s not hard to see that, Jamie. You look at Anastasia in a way that I’ve never seen anyone look at another person before. The way you light up when you see her or talk about her, or, fuck, even think about her, says more than any words you can even put together. You’ve been in love with her since you met her, the day you came into the locker room and told us about ‘this girl you met at the bar who you hung out with all weekend.’ It’s always been Annie. It just took Reagan for you to realize it.”
“But she’s with Sam. She even said yesterday that two things that are similar will mix until something stronger comes along and pulls them apart. She and I are similar and Sam is pulling us apart.”
“I don’t think mixing water and nail polish remover with salt is that deep, man,” Haydn says. “Sam is only ‘stronger’ right now because you have Reagan. Is Annie supposed to sit around and wait for you to stop seeing her before you finally realize that she’s the one you want to be with?”
“I like Reagan, but Annie is,” Jamie stops, taking in a deep breath. “Annie’s everything.”
“Well if she’s with this Sam guy then she definitely doesn’t know you think that,” Brandon points out.
“So what do I do?”
“Tell her, ya dumbass. She might be smart but she can’t read your mind.”
“How do I tell her?”
“Hey, Annie, I like you.”
“There’s no way it’s that simple,” Jamie groans, leaning back in his stall with his hands over his face. He couldn’t be in love with his best friend. But he wasn’t in love with Reagan.
“Go see her. You’ll know what to say when you’re with her.”
------------------
“Luke, what do I do?” Annie groaned, sitting on her couch next to Harper. She had called Luke that afternoon, Harper wanting to join in on the recap of her date the other night with Sam. The week had been so busy for all of them that they didn’t have the chance to even see each other in passing, let alone for long enough to talk about the disaster that was Annie’s date.
“You really felt nothing?” his voice came through on the other end of the phone. He was speaking in a hushed tone, probably because Sam wasn’t far from where he was.
Annie had been avoiding Sam since he dropped her off that night. He gave her another kiss, definitely hinting that he wanted to go upstairs to her place with her, but she bolted from the car as soon as she could. The entire time, she wanted to be with Jamie. “I was wishing I was anywhere else than kissing him.”
“Was he that bad of a kisser? Did he use too much teeth? He looks like the kind of guy you would have a teeth fight with,” Harper adds.
“What the fuck, Harp?” Luke groans.
“He didn’t use too much teeth,” Annie groans. “He’s a good kisser, it just wasn’t something I wanted? I don’t know. He’s just not it.”
“He’s not Jamie,” Harper says. “I’m team Jannie, not Sannie.”
“You have way too much time on your hands if you can come up with couple names for me,” Annie says. “I don’t care what team you’re on; Jamie doesn’t like me the way that I like him.”
“You what?” Annie and Harper heard, turning to see Jamie standing in their apartment, letting himself in like he had done too many times before.
“Annie? Harp? What’s going on, who is that?” Luke asks.
Before anyone can answer, Harper rips the phone from Annie’s hand, running into her room to leave Annie and Jamie alone. “You like me?” Jamie asks, taking a step towards her.
Annie pulls her legs underneath her on the couch, not wanting to get up. She couldn’t believe that Jamie had just heard her say that. She could feel panic rushing through her, her plan to never let him know about that falling apart before her. “As a friend,” she spit out in a panic, hearing Harper hit something in the other room. She didn’t doubt that her roommate was holding the phone with Luke on the other end, listening to whatever conversation was about to happen.
“Only as a friend?” Jamie asks, taking another step towards her. He was too nervous to move any faster, approaching her as slowly as he could simply because he didn’t know what else to do. He had just confessed his feelings about her to his entire locker room, and here he was to tell her the same thing, only for her to say something first. Albeit without knowing he was in the room, but he heard her say it, and he wanted her to mean it.
“Yes,” she lies to him, feeling the heat rush to her cheeks. This couldn’t be happening to her right now. “Stass,” Jamie says, sitting down next to her. “Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not.”
“You are. And I know because I know how you get when you lie. You shut down, your sentences are short, you don’t want to talk. It was the same when you found out your mom was sick and you wouldn’t tell me. It was the same when you got turned down for the job at that really posh private school in the area before you got your job with Luke and Ally. It was the same when you were nervous before your first day teaching there. You’re lying to me about liking me,” he lists off, getting nervous himself as he felt like he was about to burst. The girl he loved felt the same about him. Maybe.
“Fine, Jamie, I like you. I probably love you, but what am I supposed to do? I have been sitting here the last how many weeks listening to you talk about Reagan and how much I would like her, how much you like her and think that she’s the one for you, that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with her after you spent one night with her. How am I supposed to tell you how I feel when you text me, call me, facetime me, snapchat me, everything, talking about Reagan, a picture of you two together, when you’re out to dinner, when you’re even just thinking about her and see something that reminds you of her?” Annie spills out.
“Well, how do you think I feel when I hear you making plans with Sam?” Jamie counters, Annie looking shocked in the meantime. “You have this guy who you tell me is perfect, who you were so excited to see, and then you don’t even tell me about the date? We tell each other everything.” He could feel panic setting in, his plan to tell her everything going exactly the opposite of how he wanted it to go. Now, they were fighting over other people when they should have just been talking about each other.
“How was I supposed to tell you that I went on a date with a guy, who, when I first met him, called me by my full name and I didn’t hate it, but when I actually went out with him and kissed him, I kept wishing that I was with you instead? Do you have any idea what it’s been like to sit here and agonize over this stupid crush on you when you don’t feel the same way?”
“What are you talking about?” Jamie asks her, gently placing his hand on her knee. “Annie, I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to figure out why you talking about this Sam guy has bothered me. It’s not because there’s something wrong with Sam, it’s because it made me realize that I,” he stops, trying to find the words he wanted to say. He could tell her everything in some long drawn out way, explaining to her and circling around his point in hopes that she would get it. But, “I love you. I think I have since I met you.”
“What? What about Reagan?”
“She’s a great girl, but she’s not you, Anastasia.” Before Annie could process what Jamie had just told her, she felt his hand graze her chin, his thumb and his forefinger tilting her hand up as his other hand gently squeezed her leg right above her knee. “Can I do something I’ve been wanting to do for longer than I can remember?” he asks her, his voice deep and hushed.
Annie smiles, letting out a yes as her hands find his face, his lips connecting to hers. The two of them moved in sync with each other, all the nerves of both of them melting away. The kiss was everything Annie had wanted her kiss with Sam to be.
It was with Jamie.
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zdux · 4 years ago
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A sally face blog activeqwq finally!! Also How would the sf gang react if they have a crush on someone? As in headcanons:D
I actually kind of a similar headcannon a while ago, so I'll link it below! But that was how the Sally Face gang reacts to the reader liking them, so I'm going to make this "How the Sally Face gang reacts when they realize they like YOU!"
Sally Face Gang reacts to you having a crush on them!
Headcannon Prompt: Sally Face Gang realizes they have a crush on you
Sal
Honestly, he's felt his feelings grow for a while now
As he got to know you, got to spend time with you and just open up around you while you formed a bond, he fell in love.
It was always the little things too,
when you held not only Ash's hand at the mall, but his too,
when you brushed up against him a little, just so he would look at you and you could mouth "you doing okay?" whenever you wanted to check on him,
when you started carrying spare hair ties on you just in case he wanted to put his hair up,
when you were sitting on the floor of Larry's room with him, and slipped your hand into his while your high took you to dreams he couldn't see as you fell asleep on his shoulder.
He knew that he didn't want to make it some dramatic confession, he just wanted the moment to happen where he could show his feelings.
His "confession" was actually more of a rescue. While you two had been snooping around for ghosts, one of them tried to attack you, and he had to use the gearboy to save you.
You were pretty shaken up afterwards, and he just held you in his arms while you clung to his chest. You two stayed there until you were feeling better.
Once you looked up, he put his hands on your face and asked if he could kiss you. (If) you said yes, he reaches back to unclip his mask, letting it fall between you before he kissed you ever so gently.
Larry
He realized hard and fast, his feelings hit him like a bus
He had fallen for you because of how well you clicked with him, matched his energy, made him feel wanted.
Once he figured it out, he was kind of a mess.
He had to ask Ash and Sal what to do a LOT
Once he had talked it it over with them for a week or two, he finally got the courage to tell you.
First, he bought movie tickets. He didn't care what the movie was, he just knew you would like it, even if he wouldn't.
Next, he tells Ash and Sal to keep you busy for a bit, while he goes over and borrows Ash's motorcycle.
After that, he comes to get you, taking you out to the movie, and then to your favorite restaurant, before going on a drive to the nearest lake.
Once you guys are there, he lays down a blanket for you to stargaze on.
While you are laying down, watching the sunset and the stars come out, he gently grabs your hand and turns to look at you.
Once you look over, he squeezes you hand.
"You mean,,, everything to me. I want you to know that. I may not be the best with words, but you make me feel like I don't need to be... I love you."
(if) you return his feelings, he leans over, propping himself on his elbow so that he is partially above you and kisses you. He clearly has wanted to for a while with how invested he is in said kiss.
Ash
Ash is really surprised when she figures out she has a crush on you
She's never really worried about love, she's always had her friends and loving them was what mattered.
She talks to Sal about it a lot. She tells Todd and Larry too, but she still talks about it the most to Sal, since she knows he won't pull her leg
She decides to take you to a garden to tell you how she feels.
As you are walking around the flowers, she stops for a minute, causing you to turn around and ask if she is okay.
"I am, I'm more than okay, I'm fantastic. You've shown me a whole new side of me. I never thought I would get to know someone like this, and I couldn't ask for more. I think I love you."
She was actually pretty shy despite her normal confident self.
(If) you tell her you feel the same, she throws herself in your arms before carefully tugging your ear so you lean by her face so she can plant a soft kiss on your lips.
Todd
(Please Note that Todd is canonically MLM, so I'm going to write him with that in mind. I will still be writing a gender neutral character, but there may be mentions of mlm/nblm exclusive things/experiences, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please ignore this section.)
Mr Morrison here was like O////O
He's actually really romantic despite his tech geared brain.
He writes you an old fashioned love letter and asks Larry to deliver it to you.
It tells you about all his feelings, and asks you to meet him out back of the old school they used to go to.
When you get there, he has a bouquet of flowers for you, as well as a necklace with your birthstone on it.
When you go up to him, he hands you both and helps you put the necklace on if you want to wear it right then.
"I hope you liked my letter, I just wanted to find a way to tell you everything about you that I love about you. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me."
He holds your hands while he tells you, before looking up at you with a sparkle of love in his eyes.
(if) you wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly before you kiss. he leans into it, and you, because he's just so happy to have you in his arms.
I loved writing this!! Can you,,, can you tell I simp for Sal?? *sweats because his paragraph is so much longer than the others* Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! I put (If) at the end of everyone confessions because I know some people don't like kissing, so that way they can imagine their own ending or just cut it off after the verbal confession!
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boydiisaster · 3 years ago
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It's so awesome there's blogs like yours out there trying to provide content for GN and Male fans. It's so hard to find anything even GN, and as a nonbinary person I just want you to know how much it's appreciated! If you're okay with taking requests right now, I have an Obey Me one? Do you have any headcanons on a poly/throuple relationship between a GN MC, Satan, and Solomon? Those two are surprisingly good friends in canon and alike in a lot of ways, I love them both so much!
throuple satan and solomon headcanons
reader: gender neutral, they/them pronouns
tw/cw: a bit of spoilers and fighting/blood mentions
author's note: AWW YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY YOU'RE SO NICE, ANON :,) i'm trying my hardest to provide more content for other male and gender neutral readers out there, so i really hope that what i write is enjoyable for yall <33 also i haven't the slightest idea of satan and solomon's canon relationship because i'm only at like lesson 30 smth and don't keep up with my messages so i just pulled most of their dynamic for this out of my ass ( ._.)
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It was like a cat just met a dog when Satan and Solomon started dating. They have similarities, sure, but whereas Satan is cold and calculated with his spells, plans, and pranks, it's as if Solomon doesn't think. Like, ever.
How was someone so smart so insufferably stupid at the same time? It's as if Satan is his babysitter more than he's his boyfriend.
Oh god and when Solomon ropes you into doing something with him-
"I hate you both," Satan grumbles, checking your temperature and seeing how it's well above the normal temperature for humans. "Solomon, you can't just drag MC on all your dangerous adventures. They're much more human than you are."
"Just because I accidentally made a spell that cursed me with immortality doesn't mean I'm any less human than they are." Solomon crosses his arms at his boyfriend's hurtful words. "Besides, MC wanted to come with me. Isn't that right, MC?"
You didn't speak. That was probably because you had passed out from how incredibly fatigued you were. Your skin was sticky and noticeably sweaty, eyes closed shut while letting out painful whimpers.
"Tell me again just what happened to them?" Satan groans as he opens a spell book. God knows where he got it. He did that a lot. He was like a video game character or something the way he'd just pull books or spell jars from out his ass. He was always the one Mammon would ask for a pencil, because hell he had like hundreds on him at all times.
"Well," Solomon cheekily smiles and scratches the back of his neck. "We went looking for some herbs for a new spell I concocted."
"Uh huh?"
"And MC sort of... fell."
"What did they fall on, Solomon?"
Said man falls silent. "Solomon?" Satan drags out his lover's name, threatening him, to which all Solomon can do is smile again, this time more nervous.
"They kind of, maybe, fell into a bush of what could have been poisonous flowers...."
"What kind of poisonous flowers, Solomon?" Satan glares at him.
Solomon thinks for a moment, then clasps his hands together. "Let's just say that if we don't get Diavolo or Lucifer in the next," he looks toward a clock, "fifteen or so minutes, MC might fall asleep for probably a whole millennium."
That earns the sorcerer a big thwack to the back of his head by Satan's spell book.
That was probably the first major incident where you were dragged into Solomon's dangerous plans, but it certainly wasn't the last. Most of the time you either ended up with several scrapes or bruises, things Satan or Solomon could easily patch up on their own. But sometimes you'd come back missing a shirt or as a cat.
(It's hard for Satan to be mad at Solomon for accidentally turning you into a cat, but he manages it because you were furious.)
... You were a really cute cat though, MC.
A cat was frantically trying to climb up Satan's pant leg. He was out in the garden tending to his flowers when a kitty he'd never seen before made their way through the bushes and crashed into his leg.
"Hello little one," he smiled at the cat. "Are you lost?"
The cat let out a pitiful wail and latched themselves onto Satan's leg. Satan frowned a bit and started to get worried. "Are you hurt? What's wrong?"
He picked up the cat to examine them. They were a cute little thing with [eye color] eyes and a sleek fur coat. Satan couldn't see anything physically wrong with them. Their paws looked fine, and there was no blood anywhere.
"Did you lose your mom? Maybe your kitten?" he began to muse, then Solomon exploded through the bushes looking frantic as ever.
"Have you seen a cat?" he gasped for air. "About this tall, [eye color] eyes, clearly upset?"
"You mean this one?" Satan held up the cat he found.
"Yes! Give them here-"
The cat hissed and clawed at Solomon's hand, burying themselves further into Satan's grasp. They growled, then looked toward Satan to let out another pitiful whine.
"MC, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Solomon cried.
The cat hissed again.
"I'm sorry, did you just say MC?"
Solomon stiffened. He started to laugh nervously, fiddling with his cuffs. "Uh... would you break up with me if I told you I turned our darling MC into a tiny cat...? If so then no, I didn't say MC."
"You did what?!"
"Oh would you look at the time! I have a meeting with Lord Diavolo I must attend to right now, goodbye Satan, I love you!"
And then Solomon left, leaving Satan to fix whatever spell he put on their partner by himself. Satan wasn't angry about it, but the look of pure rage on your little furry face was enough to let Satan know that if he kept you as a cat for a moment longer you'd raise hell upon everyone in the vicinity.
Having a pact with a demon means that pretty much everything you do is shared with said demon. You feel emotions stronger, god forbid if you feel their specific emotions. You could be angry at Mammon for swiping a bag of candy you bought for yourself, but you act as if Mammon robbed you of every last thing you had just because of the pact you share with Satan. He feels awful about that, even though you reassure him time and time again that:
1.) It's not his fault, and
2.) You wanted a pact with him
Even so, please give Satan cuddles and kisses after he gets all sulky. He acts composed, but on the inside he's so incredibly self-conscious of both his sin and his pact with you.
"You need to be more careful," Satan quietly mused as he bandaged your hurt hands and face. You had gotten into a fight at school because a demon shoved you, and now you were currently inside Satan's room, getting blood all over his pretty carpet.
"I know," you softly sighed and hissed once the rubbing alcohol came into contact with the cuts on your face. "I just, I don't know. It set me off for some reason."
Your boyfriend hesitated for a moment, then applied a bandage to your cheek. "It's because of the pact."
"Satan-"
"You know I'm right, MC." Satan didn't look at you when he talked. Instead he looked at his lap, which had the first aid kit he was using to fix you up in it. "I know I talk about this a lot but... I am truly sorry for doing this to you."
"Hey," you cupped his cheek. "It's not your fault. I can learn to live with this. I learnt to handle my greed, envy, and gluttony when I built pacts with your brothers, right?"
"You shouldn't have to though. Maybe it's best if I-"
You silently kissed him. It was a bittersweet kiss, one filled with love yet unspeakable sadness and hurt. Satan was so self-conscious of his sin, yet you loved him still anyway. You wished he could see that.
"Don't finish that thought," you whispered as you pulled away. Resting your forehead against his, you continued. "I love you. Despite your sin, despite how you were born, despite everything; I love you. I chose you, and I wanted a pact with you." You smiled, and Satan couldn't help but blush at your next sentence.
"You silly demon. You really can't see how amazing you are, huh? It's okay though, because both me and Solomon will always be here to remind you."
Solomon touches all your pact marks constantly. When you take off your shirt it's hard to stop him from touching Leviathan's mark located directly on your back. He's always rubbing his fingers over Beelzebub's symbol on your stomach, always outlining Mammon's mark on your wrist. Sometimes he kisses Belphegor's symbol on your throat. When meeting your eyes, he never fails to stare into the one that holds Lucifer's mark, and even though you cover your thighs almost all the time, it's like Solomon can tell where Asmodeus's mark is. It's his favorite place on your thigh to touch.
You sighed whenever you felt Solomon's lips touch the small of your back. A smile made its way onto your own lips as you giggled.
"I didn't expect Satan to place his mark somewhere so... subtle," he admitted as he popped up to press a kiss to your cheek.
You looked at him out of the corner of your eye. He was playing with your wrist again, looking at the symbol of greed that adorns your skin.
"Solomon," you started.
Your lover hummed. You could tell he was beginning to grow drowsy. His eyes were closed and his movements slowed.
"Are you... jealous?"
That woke him up. He made you face him, and the expression he wore was unreadable. It worried you. Maybe you shouldn't have said that.
"I just mean, like," you grew embarrassed. "Um... you're always touching my pact marks, or always looking at them, and I don't know. Are you mad at me for them?"
The sorcerer gently grasped your hands. His fingers were weirdly soft considering how much he uses them. He sat there for a moment, just running his thumbs over your palms before speaking.
"I am a little," he admitted. "But I'm not mad at you. If anything I'm proud."
You smiled a bit. It was a lopsided and awkward sort of smile, but to Solomon it was the most beautiful thing in the world, as cheesy as that sounded.. He loves seeing his partners happy. He loves seeing you happy.
"You're much stronger than you think," Solomon continued. "Being able to hold seven different pact marks, ones belonging to Avatars, as a human with no sort of prior knowledge on magic?" He beamed. "You're incredible."
That only embarrassed you more. You groaned a bit and tried swatting Solomon away to hide your face, but your lover only pulled you in for a short yet loving kiss.
"You're cute, you know that?"
"You're cuter," you retorted. Solomon just smiled.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, dear. Speaking of which," he leaned back on your bed and made grabby hands at you, indicating that he wanted you to lay next to him. "I'm tired. Cuddle me."
"So needy," you joked, but instantly complied to Solomon's request. He was never like this in public. It was nice seeing him so open and vulnerable... and cute.
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facewithoutheart · 2 years ago
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for This Will All Go Down In Flames, my beloved - 1 and 2, and then a bonus troll question of 7 just because.
I was so hoping you’d ask about this fic LOL I could talk about it for ages right now.
1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?
This fic had a real journey of plot, but I always knew I’d mix social media and normal fic. I’d really enjoyed introducing social media to my A Christmas Pitch fic, and wish I had started the fic pairing those two elements because it gave the story more stakes and drama.
Plus at the time I was reading a lot of Check Please fics, namely one where social media enhanced the plot, and I liked that element although I used it in a much different way.
And once I had the plot outlined I knew it’d be a getting together halfway through the story with secret relationship after, another element that a lot of Check Please fics use that I love because it lets us see these character fall in love and then work together toward a common goal which is just so lovely. Although it was really hard keeping the relationship secret in this fic; Baz and Simon did not want to hide how they felt about each other.
2: What scene did you first put down?
A couple of scenes that didn’t make it into the fic, actually. I went back and checked. Like I said, the plot to this fic took a wild turn. I started with this as a Popstar AU, with Baz as Connor 4 Real and Simon as Owen. But then maybe it made more sense to have Simon as Connor 4 Real so Agatha could be Ashley Wednesday. But then I just loved the idea of them being this amazing indie band that only put out one transformative album, like Neutral Milk Hotel (although apparently there’s another album? TIL).
So anyway I did a ton of backstory writing, which I used to never do but started during His Mercy, Mine and found it really helpful. I decided pretty early on the band would be called The Watford Goats (thanks @sillyunicorn for talking me out of The Goats of Watford) and they’d get the name after Simon and Baz steal a goat to get back at a rival football team for calling Baz a slur. For a short time I thought Simon would be jealous of Baz’s success and arguing over song credit would fuel the band’s breakup, but I very quickly decided it would be unrequited love. Duh.
I always knew this fic would take place in Austin though, and that Simon would go to St Edwards (go Hilltoppers!).
Oh god am I still talking and I haven’t even answered your question? It was the goat stealing scene 🙄 geez Christina.
7: Where did the title come from?
Hah! Yes ok this title came from mis-remembering the famous CO quote “This Will All End In Flames” but I like my version better lol
From this list of asks
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thesunshinebunny · 4 years ago
Text
When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part V)
Series Master list
pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader
content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)
summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?
Chapter summary: Eren and reader meet face to face and are determined to put an end to the tension that has been building around them since Eren returned from Marley.
Word Count: 7.9k 
The light wind blew the few leaves that had fallen from the trees around me at the same time that it generated a slight comfort, as if the same wind was hugging me and holding me between its countenance. The branches moved to the beat of it sweet music and danced a slow tango around two figures ready to end the other. We were both facing each other, each positioned perfectly and vertically above the other's line of sight, only a few steps separated, perhaps two meters apart, but still the difference wasn’t an obstacle to inspect each other.
Eren standed stiffly on the muddy floor, a position that was becoming a habit lately every time he was about to confront someone, either with words or with blows. His shoes were dirty and torn, some small holes showed through the cloth. Strands of hair fell on his forehead and some were stuck to the skin due to the mud and earth that the footsteps threw into the air. His eyes...just as empty of any light and life that might exist.
His jaw was clenched as well as one of his fists, I didn't find any sign his hand was hurt or his palm was bleeding and dropping a few drops to the floor, so I assumed it wasn’t in his plans to transform here and now. But that didn’t mean that I could be calm.
As for me, surely Eren was looking at me the same way a wolf looks at a little sheep or a poor dwarf white rabbit, one of the most defenseless animals in the food chain. Apparently I was the meal and it was time for lunch. But I was very sure that Eren hadn’t limited himself to looking at me with that horrible analogy, he’d surely noticed my torn and bloody clothes, as well as dirty with mud and some other things that I wanted not to investigate or put my nose in them. He had probably also noticed the multiple scratches on the skin of my arms and on my face, wounds already dry and in the process of healing thanks to the sweat from adrenaline and the race through the forest made in a few minutes. He had probably noticed little strands sticking to the crook of my neck and cold sweat dripping down my spine.
I don't doubt he surely noticed the fire burning in my eyes, my gaze radiating determination, a determination to get out of this place as unscathed as possible and find a way to fix this whole damn situation. He would have noticed how my figure was a reflection of his, I wouldn’t move if he didn’t move, I wouldn’t stop squeezing a finger if I didn’t see he stopped squeezing his. It was like being on the other side of a mirror, copying each and every one of the other's movements.
"So ... wanna make the first move?" My breathing was ragged, however neutral my face might be. Inside I was afraid, I was always afraid, it was a normal feeling and sensation. I was already used to feeling this unconditional fear when going out into the world.
The wind blew around us again, it was like a sweet melody cradling my ears, it was like feeling a hand caressing my battered face, a caress that I hadn't felt for a long time. If the moment had been different, it would have taken me some time to close my eyes and enjoy the breeze. If I did that right now, I would end up badly beaten and dejected, perhaps dead as well.
The breeze was dancing for a few seconds and stopped short, as if the world and time itself had stopped, only the two of us were able to move and yet neither did. Everything around us was silent, not the chirping of a cricket or the footsteps of an animal could be heard. Neither did any footsteps or voices from the other Jaegeristas, completely ignoring their locations, while ignoring the whereabouts of my beloved horse. It was just me and Eren in this little airless bubble.
Seconds of silence and in an instant Eren stepped forward and instinctively I stepped back, letting my left foot hold much of my weight on this. I was leaning back with the possibility of running if necessary, but knowing Eren I would only run a couple of meters before having him on my back and holding me like we’re playing hide and seek. My hands were raised to my torso, palms facing the ground and in position to become fists or grab something, whatever was out of the trees to counter or defend myself.
It wasn’t a position that I wasn’t completely unfamiliar with, was like reliving the old days as cadets in training, each one trying to search for the opponent's strengths and weaknesses, evaluating the chances of attack and their effectiveness. It really was like self-defense practices, practices that Eren put so much effort and determination into. I used to watch him from afar when my partner ended up on the ground given the multiple blows to the stomach that I had so proudly learned from my father. I used to see his frustrated face when Annie managed to knock him down with a simple leg movement or when Reiner was too abrupt to the point of knocking him to the ground from his high height. And yet, no matter how many blows and humiliations the poor boy felt when practicing self-defense, he never stopped fighting and asking for more blows, as if violence and physical damage were his only form of training. Already in the first practices I knew he was completely crazy, that he had something bad in the head, but his determination and that sparkle in his eyes when he got angry at losing, in the same way that a small child gets angry when they don’t have what they wants, was what caught my attention the most.
I used to fight him repeatedly in these same practices, being positioned in the same places we are now, one of us with a flabby wooden knife, but capable of doing a lot of damage if we didn’t use it properly. I was already used to the agile movements that I could perform with a simple kitchen and hunting knife, living much of my lifetime in the middle of a small town lost in the woods. I was used to defending myself and attacking animals with little rational intelligence, which made them much more dangerous than a simple human. I was equally used to dodging punches, and punches, able to redirect them and hit the weakest points of my prey. But I wasn't used to the low blows this boy was capable of. I always had to cover my back because I didn't know when he was going to jump on me and throw me to the ground, like the first time I knocked him down with a blow to the chin and when I was about to change partners, he grabbed my back and neck to throw myself on the floor and make me eat dirt. I didn't know if even throwing him to the ground multiple times he would go against my leg and bend it, hitting my head not only against the floor but also against his shoulder. I didn't know when he would apply the same technique Annie had taught him weeks ago. Unarmed or with a damn wooden knife Eren was dangerous because he was willing to keep fighting, even if he was going to fight dirty, without rules or codes.
I have faced him multiple times throughout the three years of training and in each confrontation there was something new that surprised us both, be it his various angry movements or my simple stances and punches capable of stopping the fight in any way. And that same uncertainty was also reflected in the times we went out to fight with what, at that time, we thought were simple and common titans, unable to deduce the actions of the other, evading death many more times than we could count.
And all that uncertainty and determination on the battlefield started with simple training with the wooden knife. A wooden knife.
A knife.
I withdrew my hand from in front of me and with great care I directed it towards the back pocket of my pants, without stopping looking at Eren who had taken advantage while I wandered in my imagination to approach and settle half the distance that separated us. When my hand reached the pocket, I stuck my thumb and forefinger inside it, grasping a small doctor's knife which I apparently had unconsciously put away in the morning when I finished treating my last patient. I secured it tightly and kept my hand behind my back until Eren again took a big step towards me and, in a protective movement, I positioned the knife in attack mode, eye level, as if was a real fight knife.
"Well that's not very fair-"
With a clean flick of the wrist the small knife rested on my thumb and forefinger and I tossed it to the side, striking perfectly even on the bark of a tree. It had been nailed cleanly and the sound it generated on impact gave certainty that it would be difficult to get it out of that place. Eren never moved from where he was, he simply followed the movements of my hand and at the moment of impact he inspected the cut on the bark before turning his gaze to me.
“I am unarmed… without weapons, without my movement gear, just my bare hands. But it still wouldn't be a fair fight, would it?"
In the four years that we were officially in the legion, at no point had we taken a day to practice our close combat as we did before. You could say that our fighting days were over on the night of our graduation. Although those days were behind us, I was completely sure he had never stopped training, he would continue to launch those unpredictable movements at any moment, let alone his unnatural power.
"You have your titan powers and each hit that hits you will heal, instead I will continue to bleed and spend days with a black eye and broken bones, if that is the case"
I saw what his fists could do to someone like Armin and what they had done to my neck and nose, if this fight went on longer than it should or turned in a bad movement, my body was going to end much worse than it already was; I was even beginning to think that maybe Eren would go as far as turning into a titan and crushing me once and for all. I had to be careful and hoped luck was on my side to make it out alive a second time.
“Come on, let's finish it once and for all” In position and waiting for the first hit, this is how they taught us and this is how I would be mentally prepared from now on, until the moment of my death, even if it were in a few minutes.
He was the first to cut the distance between us, raising his fist to my face. His knuckles slammed into my arm, propelling it toward the contour of my face by the wave and force of the impact. His other fist tried to hit the pit of my stomach, but I could catch his movement and block him with my other arm, hitting him to no effect with the bone. I raised my left leg to hit him on the ribs, but like me, Eren was faster and dodged just in time, avoiding my foot and moved it to the side. As I touched the ground again, I raised my leg again and this time I managed to hit him on the hip, propelling him forward and hitting his body again, this time with my right knee on his face.
His body didn’t move from where he had fallen to the floor, sensing that my blow hadn’t been strong enough to unbalance him, but to mislead him for a second. His face was thrown back by the impact of my knee and I hit him again in the same way, this time right in the center of the face, right on the septum and the mouth. My hand lunged for his hair, grabbing his already disheveled manbun and pushing his head back, my other hand was about to hit right in the neck area, but before I could even put my fingertips on him, his fingers closed tightly on my wrist and twisted it outward, drawing an uncomfortable groan from my throat.
His other fist managed to make a hook towards my chin causing me to loose the grip on the manbun, my legs were unbalanced and I felt blood spurt into my mouth, and one of his feet rose high enough to hit me in the chest and pull me towards him. back and hitting the head squarely against the hard dirt floor. Eren wasted no time and took a short leap towards my figure and placed his hands on my neck for the third time that day. It was like reliving the restaurant scene, me on the floor and him finding a way to position himself on me and immobilize me.
"God, what about you and your choke kink?" With my throat so battered in such a short time, I could barely speak and what I managed to get out was nothing more than hoarse and breathy moans, as if my voice was breaking little by little.
Both of my hands went straight under his armpits holding them in the shape of a sword and digging the bony ends into his weak skin. His arms loosened, giving me the chance to elbow him on the back of his neck and push him away from my body. I put my hands on the ground and got back to my feet with my arms and legs now muddy and dirty, but what was my intention to put myself on guard ended up turning into a new face fall down to the floor, having one of his legs hooked on my knee and making any escape movement impossible. I hit him hard with my free leg on the knee that was hooking me, managing to displace it and perhaps break it on the spot given the creaking sound that echoed through the bark of the trees. With my leg released, I turned around and now that same leg was on his broken knee, applying pressure to the floor, and my other leg took a moment to impact right on his face. His body was now flat on the floor and I positioned myself on top of him without wasting time, pulling his arm back and hitting his ribs with the elbow of my free arm. One, two, three blows, until I felt an impulse bring my body back to the floor as well as a blow on my left cheekbone. I hadn't seen his fist come to my face when he lunged against my body to get me off.
His knee hit me in the pit of my stomach, curling into a fetal position and his fist slammed again into my cheekbone. I tried to scratch his arm the same way I did with his face hours ago, but I failed miserably, as if the pain of the flesh peeling off his skin didn't affect him at all. So I hit his knee with mine, moving him off my stomach, driving him to the ground, and back hitting him on the ribs. Eren lifted his body for a moment to avoid taking any more impacts and gave me enough time to place my legs under his chest and stretch them towards and send him flying against the tree behind him.
Now I could easily stand up, but the pain in my stomach made it difficult for me to breathe and to be able to stand firmly on the ground. I took quick strides towards his body and when my foot was about to hit his face, Eren wiped away a considerably thick branch from the ground and struck my face with the tip, impacting the leaves and small branches on my wounds and throwing me to the ground from the burning. I was in four against a tree, behind me I heard how the dry leaves crunched under Eren's feet and how he was getting up to jump on my back; But this time, I was faster and managed to turn around to hit my leg on his neck for a good time and throw him again towards a crooked tree on our side, hitting his neck against the bark and tearing the skin with friction. From where I was lying I could see blood coming out of his neck, it seems he had torn the jugular area and was bleeding. I could also see the pain on his face and how his body was getting rid of the tension that the fight had caused.
We were both gasping for air, at the moment neither of us could take it anymore and both bodies were asking for a limit, but I knew it was a matter of time before Eren fully recovered and a new fight would take place again. If there was a moment to act, this was perfect. I tried to get up, but my back didn’t give in to my directions and I was thrown back to the floor. My eyes were fixed on the tops of the trees, which let a few rays of the sun slip into our little forest bubble. The sight was almost angelic, if it weren't for the multiple blows that were burning like a bonfire. I saw how some leaves fell slightly accompanied by the wind which had blown again when our fight ended. I felt physical and mental relief as I listened as the smoke rose from Eren's skin, quickly healing his wounds, but still suffering from the bleeding in his neck. My vision began to blur, nothing that was in front of me was seen clearly and I was afraid I was about to faint.
Ahead of me I began to see a familiar sight, quite familiar indeed; the training days, Eren and me in our younger years. I saw us in one of our first confrontations, being completely dirty from the sandy earth but still standing on our two feet, our eyes like daggers about to be thrown at our opponent. Each one prepared to deliver what seemed like the last blow and define the confrontation before ending the day and heading off to the canteen for dinner, ready to define our fifth confrontation with hatred for the other in the veins. Eren, as not, was the first to approach and to be dodged by a young me and give him a poor punch in the face. He complained about the impact, backing off for the next instant to pounce on my shoulder and hook me on the knee to finally throw me sideways to the ground for the fourth time in that three-hour workout. I groaned in pain and grabbed onto my shoulder, injured and battered from so many blows. I stretched out on the floor, in the same way that presumably I was now and I stared at the orange sky, observing how little by little the sun was setting on the horizon and fine dark blue lines welcomed the night.
"Ha, how many times have I beat you today?" his voice and breathing were ragged but still I could tell the false vanity and self-centeredness in his words. He had hunched over his knees resting his tangled hands on them and brought his face closer to mine, covering my beautiful sight and replacing it with his horrible green eyes. I fixed my gaze on his damn crooked smile, the same one he gave to any asshole he had the guts to challenge and finish. I closed my eyes to avoid looking at him and in less than a second I moved my leg over his, hitting his balance and causing him to fall headlong to the floor, hitting the side of his temple. The blow echoed across the ground, earning laughter from some of our friends and whispers around us. I didn't stop to listen to what stupid people might be saying about what had just happened, but stood up heavily, still having a semi air of victory over my body, I wiped my hands on my pants, which deserved a full-fledged clean, and I ducked down to his figure on the floor.
"Not so bad for a country one, huh?" and with that I turned and walked towards the canteen, hoping to be in time before Sasha ate my slice of bread like most nights.
Back at my self lying on the muddy, doughy ground, my breathing come back to normal before my vision returned to having the leaves of the trees in sharp focus. I felt a great heaviness on my body and at the same time I felt like a feather, as if I was experiencing an out-of-body episode ... or was simply rambling. I got up in the same way as in that wonderful memory which for some strange reason happened to appear in my consciousness, and I leaned back on a tree before compiling myself and dragging my feet on the leaves.
"That’s it, I’m done" To be honest, I couldn’t do this anymore. To be honest, I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth and reincarnate in another life, many years in the future. To be honest, my sanity couldn't keep fighting anymore, but I was too cowardly to take my own life. I was tired, not only tired of fighting, but tired of this damn world that the only thing that achieved was to put us in a circle of hatred and anger between each other.
I took a few more steps towards some side of the forest, knowing that I had no idea where I was going, if it was the same side I came from or another completely different, heading right towards the hands of the Jaegeristas. Likewise, if they caught me, they would take me to the others. Would it have been worth it to have escaped from the beginning? Surely not, but I was praying with my few walking neurons that I had managed to take a little time out of them.
"I can still going"
I heard him say a few meters behind me. I could still hear the smoke coming from his veins, this time with much more vigor, a sign that he was about to heal completely. Damn bastard, he'd perfected his healing technique over the years and it didn't take more than five minutes to heal all of his wounds.
"Well I can't!" I screamed reluctantly, as if I was trying to convince myself to give me a break, even if that break meant losing the battle against a terrorist group.
My feet kept moving over the leaves until they hit a fallen tree branch and half caught up with it, causing me to lose my balance and fall sideways onto the bark of the same tree. I instinctively placed my hand and with the fall, the hand didn’t stay sufficiently attached to the surface and drifted to the side, scratching my skin and exposing the raw flesh. I rested my healthiest shoulder on the surface and held my hand. The blood came out slowly, in time with the rapid pumping of my heart, the palm was throbbing and I felt that throbbing not only in that area but also in my ears and in my chest. I blew on the wound to remove the small traces of dirt and grime on the flesh.
"I'm tired of continue fighting, I'm tired of fighting with you and I'm tired of this world, I'm going home"
"What home?" ok, of all the things Eren could have said right now, or all the things he said to me over the past few weeks, this was the one that had hurt the most, the one that had touched my heart the most.
The image of my mother being killed in front of me by a bullet in the head at the age of ten, the image of my father or what was left of him returning to my village after years in training, the image of my family's house destroyed and split in half, while parts of the steps were burned and made charcoal. The image of a cabin in the middle of a field, far from the city, calm, empty and silent, the one that for a couple of years was my residence and now it was used by the queen herself to give birth to the heir. All those images appeared in my mind without invitation to haunt me in a matter of seconds until I gave my answer.
"To what is left of it" I broke away from the surface of the tree and devoted myself to looking ahead and following the path that at first I was taking.
“Wait” behind me the sound of the smoke had stopped and the only thing I could hear was the rustling of the leaves under Eren, who was getting up and standing on his feet.
I ignored his claim and kept walking, always looking ahead and taking good care of where I stepped, I wasn’t in the mood to rip my other hand or fall back on the one that was already badly hurt.
“I said fucking wait” was the only thing I heard before feeling his hands on mine and my shoulder.
I no longer know how many times my back was hit against a surface, I just knew that at this point it would be full of bruises or most likely my back would be a whole bruise, having all the skin covered in a nice purple or black color. My head suffered the same fate, chunks of bark digging into my scalp and some snagging on my hair. Strands got tangled over small branches halfway out of the trunk and pulled my head that way, putting me in a very uncomfortable position. The hand Eren was holding stretched forward, threatening to stretch it further and dislocate my shoulder in the process, the other hand holding my shoulder tightening more and more against my flesh while holding the bone in an impossible way with his long, slender fingers.
If my heart wasn’t already racing too much, the pulsations went crazy when I felt his hand leave mine calmy and position my arm at my side with great care to move to free a lock of hair from the bark and position it behind my ear. Then he stroked my cheek in the same way he had done so many times before. His thumb wandered over my shallow cuts, pulling out the dried blood that had accumulated, and made circular motions over my badly injured cheekbone, as if he was trying to remove the pain that he himself had caused. I leaned my head to the side trying to prevent him from keep touching me, fixing my gaze on the floor, on his feet, on mine, and I hid my face behind the few strands that were loose.
“Look at me” his voice was nothing more than a whisper, only the silence of the forest gave the opportunity to hear him clearly.
My gaze remained embedded in the grass that surrounded the tree below our feet. His thumb, now positioned on my lower lip, forcefully applied pressure downward on the open flesh, parting my two lips and sticking his finger in just enough to play with the tips of my teeth. His index finger came under my chin and forced me to turn my head in his direction.
“Fuck. Look at me! ” His eyes penetrated mine and for the first time in a long time I could see a small glow reflected in them. But that glow, I guessed, wasn’t good at all. It wasn’t the same kind Eren had when he was fifteen, knowing he had the whole world ahead of him and he could be of use to humanity, but instead was the same kind he had before annihilating with extreme anger his opponent.
We stare at each other, his face getting closer to mine. I could feel his breath on my skin and his thumb was still playing with my teeth. The hand that was holding my shoulder began to caress the skin that was visible outside the shirt, over my neck, also sore and full of scratches.
In an attempt to get him to leave my lip alone, I bit down on the tip of his thumb, not hard enough to rip off a piece of meat, but hard enough to make him fucking pull his finger out of my mouth. He waved his hand trying to ease the pain and grabbed my other cheek, stretched it out, pinched it and left a red mark on the area, burning me for a few seconds.
"I missed you back in Liberio" He grabbed a lock of my neck and twisted it between his fingers, playing for a moment and pulling the roots so that my head leaned forward.
The fingers on the skin of my neck continued it’s movements, sometimes going towards the back of my neck, scratching the beginning of the root and pulling a few strands. The caresses were soft, like the massage of a feather, it gave me chills up my spine at the same time that I was having trouble breathing with each step of his fingertips on the bone of my neck. He stopped playing with my lock and cupped one of my cheeks in the palm of his hand, his skin cold compared to mine, warm from adrenaline. It was a somewhat invasive sensation, but at the same time, comforting and uncertain. His thumb again made circular motions over the wounded skin but this time avoiding the scratch marks.
"I missed the warmth of your cheeks and the shapes of your hands" His face moved closer to my neck, his nose brushing against the bruised skin and his breath tickling the tender spots between my neck and collarbone. His breathing made me shudder from head to toe, as if lightning had struck my body.
"Eren" it was pathetic to see how with a simple touch, my body responded so submissively.
I was trembling and not from the wind that blew from time to time over us, but from the multiple caresses on my neck; my cheek being forgotten and now the waist was being the focus point, his lips playing with my mental stability as he delicately rested on me neck, but not enough to lean on and kiss it. My brain was telling me everything was wrong, that I shouldn't be doing this, but my body asked for more, asking for a break, relax and let go. My innermost desires were screaming, begging, to be released, imploring me to succumb and break the tension that was obvious to them, but less to me.
What seemed like endless minutes, were limited seconds before I felt Eren's lips on my warm skin, his hand now resting completely on my neck and my waist, drawing me closer to him, at the same time that he imprisoned me against the tree. I was in the middle of two hard walls and unconsciously I didn't feel like moving. His soft lips compared to his hands and his acting from the last year, roamed under my chin and collarbone, making a path up and down, always repeating the same line of kisses that he left behind. The more kisses he implanted, the more aggressive, open and needy they were, all the while getting wetter and leaving a trail of saliva all around. His knee shifted between my legs, separating them and lifting me to sit barely on his leg, my crotch gently placed on his covered flesh and with each movement his leg applied the necessary pressure to begin get pathetic moans out of me.
"Better keep quiet, you don't want others to find out about our whereabouts" he growled through his teeth as he continued attacking my neck. Now I was sure that, not only would I end up with scratches, but also a few hickeys if Eren wasn't careful enough. What would be more embarrassing? They founding us hot and bothered against a tree or the fact that I was getting carried away sexually with the most wanted person in Paradis?
"Fuck, Eren ..." the hand on my waist tightened and I grabbed onto him, pulling me impossibly closer, fusing both bodies, one against the other's chest.
His hand guided my body back and forth, continuing to generate pressure on my core, a sweet agony that built very slowly, too slow for my liking. My legs were starting to feel numb from the bad posture Eren had me in and were shaking as his leg touched a weak spot. His fingers intertwined with my locks, tightening them and pulling my head back, having better access to my neck and being able to run his teeth through the fine skin. Eren always had a damn habit of biting, and biting hard, not to the point of bleeding, but under the circumstances, I doubted he had enough self-control to even mind ripping the skin. When his fangs aggressively bit my collarbone I grunted in discomfort, but even that feeling, the pleasure was much better. It hurt and it felt good.
Another bite, this time reaching the shoulder. His hand left my hair in peace and stretched the shirt, revealing more clearly his work on my neck and how the curve of my shoulder became more visible under the fabric.
My breathing was shaking, my hands resting on his biceps trying to find a point of balance, my nails dug into his jacket and my leg trying to curl over his for fear of falling. When his teeth came into contact with my shoulder again, aiming for the bone, I screamed in pain, pressing my body against his to dissipate the burning of his teeth on the broken skin. He let go of my shirt and squeezed my cheeks, fixing his eyes on mine violently and commanding me to shut up.
"Stay quiet if you don't want me to fuck you raw until you bleed" Before such a comment I was speechless, my neurons could not connect and I was left blank; the only thing in command now was my animalistic desire.
"Make me"
His lips slammed against mine, needy and eager. They were dry, too dry, and every brush against mine hurt, but neither of us cared about having two pairs of chapped and possibly bleeding lips. All we cared about was melting into each other. My hands dug into the hollow of his neck and his bun, which was already disarmed and strands fell on his forehead and sides, some fell right in front of his eyes, tickling my forehead and eyelashes.
I felt his hands descend to the curve of my butt and grab a good chunk of both cheeks before fully holding them. A little pressure and I was already jumping so I could hold on comfortably. Now we could both feel the center of each other, hot, throbbing and twitching. Every move Eren made to hold us together against the tree sent chills through my entire body, his notoriously erect and hard member rose in the right places and my moans were drowned out by his savage lips.
My nails dug into the back of his neck as I felt a stronger and more violent thrust on my sweet spot. I wanted it, needed it, and desired it. I wished this lustful feeling was the only thing I felt, that I would succumb and refuse to feel any other feelings. I wanted to give myself to him and use me if it meant letting go of all the negativity that had accumulated for weeks. I wanted to remove his clothes from him, to feel his sculpted, chunky muscles on the palms of my hand, wanted to feel his chest throbbing and warm on mine, wanted him completely. I pulled the jacket off his shoulders, getting stuck in his arms. Eren dropped me on the floor with a spear and took off his jacket to leave it god knows where.
"Hey! What the fuck- ”He didn't take long to kiss me again, now with his colossal body on top of mine.
I felt small under him, much more submissive, the sensation of his hands prowling the ends of my torso, reaching under the shirt and feeling my skin burning didn’t fix anything to the situation. His fingertips tickled my stomach, making me shudder every time they made their way to my abdomen. His tongue played with mine, distracting me from his deft fingers and his wickedness as he moved towards my chest and began to work on my nipples. He was a teassing bastard. His fingers poked and twisted one of my red, erect pebble. It was torturous to feel like between the puncture and the circular movement he took the time to stretch it and make it harder. With his other hand, he held my hip next to his, keeping it in it’s place as he balanced his hips against my pelvis. My legs opened involuntarily to better feel his member and in an agile movement he positioned himself between them, reconnecting both hips and placing them on both sides and holding him at the waist. With this, neither could escape the grasp of the other and we slowly melted away with each thrust and twist.
His hand came out from under my shirt and he started unbuttoning my shirt, one damn slow button at a time. Having my chest semi-exposed, his lips wandered towards my clavicle, passing the corner of my lips, the cheek, the jaw and the already sensitive neck, causing a groan to come out unexpectedly. His lips on the crook of my neck, his hands on the skin of my abdomen and his crotch on mine, I felt like I was exploding. I didn’t know where to put my hands, they went through his tousled hair, his shoulders, his biceps until they ended up under his shirt, feeling insecurely on the fingertips as touching his marked abs.
Every time I had the opportunity to admire his sturdy and worked body, it never ceased to amaze me how well puberty had done to him. His body able to surround me and cover me against the floor, pressing so that we could both feel the heat emanating from the other. I hadn't been able to tell him when he was in prison, but seeing him hunched over and exposing his torso and back muscles really had a great effect on me, seeing him wet, being able to discern some drops falling from his head onto his neck, was like seeing an oasis and I was a thirsty one, eager to sink my face into its sweet waters. I had been deprived of touching them at the time, but now that I was doing it, it wasn’t enough, I needed to see them with my own eyes as my fingers ran over them, while I ran my nails and left small marks that would dissipate in seconds. 
The hand back on my chest was the boost I needed to lift his shirt up to his neck. Eren detached himself from me for a few seconds and got rid of the garment in the same way as his jacket, but he didn’t attack my neck like I so much wanted. Instead, his eyes stayed glued to my chest, seeing the work his deft fingers had done on my swollen nipples.
"Fuck" he growled as he ran his eyes over my semi-naked submissive body on the grass.
He bent down to level with his desired pebbles and caressed them with both hands, both giving them equal attention. I let my head fall back, closing my eyes and enjoying the sensation, but there was a moment when his fingers weren't enough anymore. I brought my hand up to his head, running my nails over his scalp, and pulled him forward, leaving him inches from my needy nipples. Eren got the hint because he quickly ran his tongue over one of them while the other was still torturing with his thumb and index finger. His mouth closed on the nipple and he sucked like it’s the only thing able to keep him alive, too painful but that didn't matter to me. He left a trail of saliva when he separated from the bundle with a 'pop' and dedicated himself to giving the other the same attention. I groaned at the needed action, causing his dick to hit my core. I was losing his mind, it was too much and at the same time, it wasn’t enough. I needed to continue, I wanted it with every fiber of my being. My nails had nothing better to do than run down his back and my legs wedged closer to his waist. I felt his dick throb and couldn't help thinking of the veins that ran through it, ending on his pretty and red head, he pre-sum that was surely coming out and wetting his pants, I couldn't help but wish to had him inside me and feel those same veins brush my velvet walls and go crazy with each thrust.
As my thoughts wandered of what was to come, Eren's lips left my nipples and focused back on my neck, this time on the side where my scar was. He left little kisses around the shoulder and around the mark, running up and down the shape, ending a little above the chest. His action was too sweet, too tender compared to his wild and hungry movements. My eyes widened instantly, if his intention was to make me uncomfortable, he had done it. If the intention was to ruin the fervid and hectic moment by reliving the scariest moment of my life, he was damned succeeding. How could I keep my composure when he was kissing the mark I had "earned" by going on a mission to rescue him? How could I stay calm when the memories of an onslaught of titans haunted my mind again, ready to devour me while I was lying on the ground with my movement equipment displaced and my shoulder immobilized by the bleeding wound? The memory of a stone flying towards my face, dodging it at the last moment and ending up hitting my shoulder bone, dislocating it, tearing the skin and flesh and noticing how the blood spurted out, soaking my shirt and jacket. My breathing started to hit, and not in the good way, and apparently Eren wasn’t realizing or hadn't taken it the wrong way.
It was like a bucket of cold water in pure winter. My mind suddenly cleared and every trace of heat my body ever had dissipated, leaving only a cold, stiff container.
"Wait, wait...no, no, this is bad" I put my hands on his shoulders and jerked him off.
"Why?" His eyes didn’t deign to inspect mine. Any normal person in their right mind, just by looking at my pale face could deduct that something was wrong.
"Why? I- You are the number one enemy in the world and of the military police, I would have to give you up and not making up with you right now"
I was babbling as well as shaking. I got up and settled onto my legs, sitting stiffly on the ground. Eren had come to the side before my body crashed against his when I got up and he was looking at me without any expression, as if nothing had happened, as if the only one who had been feeling something, even if it was a minimal sensation of pleasure, it was me, and that made me feel sick.
"I would have to be angry, make you shit on the floor and take you to pieces towards the wall Sina" at any moment I was going to throw up, I knew it. I knew my body perfectly to know that in every moment of tension and panic, my stomach would start to annoy me, to go into spasms and hit me internally. "I shouldn't be doing this with you"
"Is that so bad? Listen to your desires, follow your instincts? " His hands came to rest on my waist and without any permission from me, he placed me on his lap, both of us being face to face, chest to chest.
His words entered my ears and stayed reverberating in my mind. What to do? I was doing everything wrong, but at the same time they felt so good. I wanted to continue thoroughly, but I knew that morally it was wrong, more than wrong, it was horrible what I was doing, anyone could tell me that. I felt bad about myself, but ... deep inside me, there was a small feeling that was getting bigger and bigger and wanted, screamed, to be released. I was so indecisive and overwhelmed that all I could do was cry.
Pathetic. I was really pathetic.
I lowered my head on his shoulder, keeping the tears from being visible to this callous shit. His hands on my waist didn't feel at all comforting as he began to move his thumb in a circular motion. My hands formed into fists and I hit his shoulders repeatedly, each hit receiving a kiss on the head. My energies were exhausted at the very begining and I rested my fists on my waist, my head now barely suspended in front of him, not looking at him.
"I hate you" he kissed my shoulder.
"I know" another kiss, this time on the other shoulder, on my scar.
"I fucking hate you" my knuckles turned white from how hard I was clenching my fists.
"I know" he kissed a tear that had escaped my lashes and was running freely down my cheek.
"You're a piece of shit"
I opened my eyes to find a pair of beautiful turquoise eyes, bright and full of life. Eren placed his hand on my cheek, running his thumb every time a tear fell down it. He leaned down and captured my lips with his sweetly, the tears falling and falling, faster and faster and more forming in my closed eyes. The kiss had a salty taste, my heart was about to leave my chest and when Eren broke away I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to take it anymore.
"…I know"
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the-angriestpineapple · 4 years ago
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liability // villain!sero hanta x femreader
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Rating: Explicit Characters: (Villain) Sero Hanta Inspiration: My piece for the Citrus Dome Discord server’s Hero/Villain Redemption Collaboration. Okay listen, I love Sero Hanta and this boy does not nearly get enough credit for what a good boy he is. Get ready to thirst for a tape dispenser folks. Prompt:  You’re captured by a villain/hero. This is a double whammy! The character you pick must be written with the opposite alignment. So, if they are heroes, they must be portrayed as villains. If they are villains, they must be depicted as heroes. On top of that, you (reader) or they must try and corrupt or redeem the other character! Tags: Villain!Sero Hanta, bondage, shibari, overstimulation, oral, vaginal sex,  abuse, talk of sexual assault. (The last two are not Sero and only last like, a paragraph or two.) Word Count: ~6.4k Collab Masterlist here
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The museum was dead silent with the exception of your brush making slow, careful strokes on the painting you were working on. Of course, it was expected that it was dead silent. You were at work near in the middle of the night. It wasn’t that the restoration department was noisy during the day, but there was always some sort of audio. Someone talking, other people working, someone sipping tea. And for this specific piece, you wanted absolute silence to concentrate. Not even music. Dead silence. It was the first time you’d found a piece by your absolute favorite artist and you had begged to be the one to restore it. But in order to concentrate as much as you felt you needed to, there had to be no noise. So you’d gotten permission to stay late, after the museum closed. And you were grateful. This was going to be the absolute highlight of your career. You pause to dip your brush into the specialty varnish remover and hear a noise. You pause, and glance at the clock. It wasn’t time for the security guard to make the rounds. You immediately feel on edge. No one else is supposed to be here. Maybe… maybe something just fell over in the artifact room.  You grab your cell phone, trying not to think about how utterly impossible that is, and turn on your flashlight app. You exit your offices in the restoration department and head to the next door, where the artifacts not currently on display are held. It’s possible that the security guard made rounds early. Likely more possible than something falling over. Especially since the door to the artifact room is ajar. You’d go in, see the guard, and then maybe it was time to head home. You make it only a handful of steps in before you hear something that sounds vaguely familiar, and you’re quickly wrapped in some kind of tape. You immediately struggle but lose your balance, falling to the ground. Your phone skids away from you and slides directly under a shelf. You stare at the spot in dismay and when someone speaks up behind you, you freeze at the voice.
“Hm. This won’t do. Intel said there’s only one security guard and I already took care of him.” A booted foot pushes on your bound torso to roll you over. You look up, and your captor’s eyes widen the same time that yours does. He breathes out your name in surprise. Immediate glee rises in you. He recognizes you. Sero Hanta, love of your life from middle school, recognizes you all these years later. But that giddy schoolgirl elation is shoved down when you remember that he’s a villain and is obviously here to steal from your museum. His mouth curls into a grin just as yours falls to a frown. “What are you doing here, Sero?” Not that you don’t already know. Your museum might not be the Tokyo National Museum, but it held some pretty priceless artifacts. “I would think that’s obvious, if you recognize me. How have you been?” His head tilts to the side and your frown deepens. “You look good.” I look good? Part of you feels your heart skip at the compliment. Part of you flares up in indignation, wondering how he has the absolute gall to say that to you when you’re bound from shoulders to hips in tape, on the floor of your place of work that he’s about to rob. Though if you’re behind completely honest, he looks good too. You’d always been partial to his angular face and wide smile, but now he had lean, powerful looking muscles. His hair was still long but pulled back, and the underside of his head shaved. His outfit was a parody on his hero costume, a skin-tight body suit of mostly black with white and yellow accents. He didn’t wear a helmet anymore, but did have a black face mask. Like the kind you wore when you were sick. He had an air of confidence around him that was undeniably attractive. But you guessed that one would become a bit arrogant with as many successful heists as he’s pulled off. He’d never been caught once, even though he had former classmates that were specifically looking to take him down. And now here you were, throwing a wrench in and possibly fucking it all up. As far as you knew Sero had never actually murdered anyone, but there had been a lot of thefts with no witnesses. What if there were, and he just disposed of them? What if he did that to you? Your breath catches in your throat, and you flinch away from him when he crouches down. He still has that grin on his face. “So, if you don’t mind, I’ll get back to it and figure out what I’m gonna do with you later.” He taps your nose and rises again. “You’re just going to leave me here on the floor taped up like this?!” You start to struggle again, but his tape is strong. You can barely move.  “Afraid so,” he says with a sympathetic look. “This is an important heist, and I can’t have you fucking it up for me.” He starts perusing the various artwork. You’re not sure if he is looking for something in particular, since right now he looks more like he’s shopping than about to rob the place. You watch his movements carefully, cataloging all the pieces he touches. At least, that’s what you want to pretend you’re doing. You know that you’re watching the fluid motion of his muscles through his skin tight costume. The way his eyes light up at a particularly valuable piece. The wide, friendly smile that you remember from middle school is surely under that black mask. He’d been playfully teased by your classmates for that smile, but it had always made your heart flutter. Despite his looking, Sero doesn’t seem to be finding anything of interest. He’d even picked up some very expensive pieces before putting them back down. It doesn’t take long for your curiosity to get the better of you. “Um, are you looking for something in particular?” Sero looks at you with an expression of mild surprise. It’s only a split second though before the confident grin is back on. “Why, you willing to help me out?” His eyebrow raises and you flush a little.  “Of course not,” you fire back immediately. You’re just curious if he is looking for a certain item. There’s a few things that he can think of that he might be looking for. But Sero hasn’t turned away from you.  “You know, for a small museum this is a rather large room. You might just be useful to me.” He only now shifts back to continue to peruse through the paintings. “I am looking for a piece in particular, as you said. The original Hinakuawa pond painting. I saw that it was taken off display.” It’s a good thing he’d turned away from you, because he missed the moment of your eyes widening before you forced a neutral face. That painting was taken off display because it was on loan to another museum, one hours from here. “Ah. Lotus Daydream. Yes, that painting is kept in this room when it is not on display.” Luckily the bulk of your artwork was flat pieces, so this was the largest storeroom. Maybe you could keep Sero distracted while he searched for a painting that wasn’t there, until your security guard woke up and signaled the police – and the heroes – to come save you. It was as good of a plan as any, and considering your current predicament… the only plan you really had. He glances at you when you don’t willingly point out where it is, then shrugs and keeps looking himself. He doesn’t seem inclined to keep talking. The silence gets to you after a few minutes. “So, um… it’s been a long time. I… see you on the news a lot.” You wince inwardly. What a stupid start. But Sero doesn’t seem to think so apparently. He gives you a side smirk. “Yeah? You watching me on the news?” The teasing in his tone was obvious and you flush again. “You’re on it a lot, to be fair.” Which wasn’t incorrect. Sero Hanta was on the news a few times a week with another successful theft. He infuriated the police and the heroes, especially the ones who used to be his friends. “What can I say, I’m good at what I do.” He winks at you and turns back to examining the artwork. I bet you are. The thought comes immediately, and your breath catches for a moment. It’s almost funny. The Sero you knew, that you had been hopelessly in love with, had been awkward. He smiled a lot, and he was laid back, but he didn’t have this confidence that seemed to be oozing out of this Sero. Your Sero had been lanky. Long-limbed and almost spider like. But his kindness and thoughtfulness had been what made you fall first. You had also been awkward, and very quiet. You didn’t even know if he’d known who you were. You’d been partnered with him for an English project once and you’d barely been able to communicate with him for it in person. He’d been so sweet and patient. And now… now he was the most notorious thief in Japan. With the body of a god and confidence of a rock star. It makes you squirm a little in your restraints. “And you, I didn’t expect to find anyone here, much less someone like you. Is it normal for you to work this late?” You know it’s probably just him trying to case the museum, to see where he made an error, but you shake your head anyway. “No, I was working on a piece that is very important to me.” You see an eyebrow raise, and hurry to continue. “Not Lotus Daydream. It’s another artist, one much smaller. It does not have a lot of monetary value, but he’s my favorite painter.” You get a soft look on your face when you think about it. Sero gives a tiny, indulgent smile. “Sounds important to you.” “Yeah, it is.”  “Any particular reason?” Hm. You can’t think of a good reason why he would ask that question to benefit him. And telling a story is going to take up time. You look away from Sero, focusing instead on an old painting of a rice paddy in the corner. “Well… I didn’t have a lot of contact with my father when I was younger. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I was able to talk to him at all. My mother hated him, and hated that I was just like him, so she kept me from him while telling me that he didn’t want to see me.” It didn’t bother you anymore. It did back then, but you now had good relationships with both of your parents. You’d forgiven your mother long ago. “My father is an art collector. Talking to him got me interested in it too, and my interest and skills landed me in an art restoration career.” You pause, looking up at Sero. He’s looking at you curiously. “That artist had a small exhibit near his house, and that was where my father took me as an outing the first time I’d seen him since I was five.” Sero tilts his head slightly as he digests this information. “Oh. Yeah, I can see why that’s important to you. So you didn’t have an interest in art in middle school? I always saw that you were reading, but I never saw what.” He leans against a glass case, now more focused on you than what he’s looking for. “No. I, um, I wasn’t very outgoing. I preferred to be in the back of the room with a book. I wasn’t teased or anything like that, and I was more or less happy. I just didn’t know how to talk to my classmates the way the popular kids did.” You give a small, wry chuckle. “It was even worse when it came to you, since I liked you.” What??? Your eyes shoot wide just as one of Sero’s brows raise. “You liked me?” He pulls his face mask down and now you can see as his wide mouth curls up into a grin. As much as you don’t want to dive into this topic, you do notice that all of his attention is now on you instead of the artwork surrounding you both. So you decide to play it up a little.  You lower your eyes for a moment before shyly looking up at him through your lashes and nodding. You still did, if you were being entirely honest, despite his criminal record. His grin widens even more and he pushes off the case, sauntering over to where you’re sitting. One elbow crooks and he shoots tape at the ceiling. It sticks around a beam and holds, and he tears it from his elbow only to shoot another from the other one. You’re silent as he hoists you up to a standing position and adheres the pieces to the tape on your back. Keeping you there on your tip toes, off the floor just enough that you couldn’t put your feet flat on the ground. “And you didn’t say anything back then? I would have been thrilled to know that you felt that way.” Your breath hitches. Really? Had you wasted your chance back then? And is that what you’re going to think about right now when he’s here in the middle of the night attempting to rob your museum? But Sero’s moving in closer, and your eyes widen fractionally as your toes scramble a bit in an effort to back up. He notices and smirks. “And how about now? Is what I do a turn off?” His eyes are staring into yours, his voice dropping low. “Or… is it a turn on?” Your breath hitches, and your heart is beating so hard you’re sure he can hear it. He’s so close, and you can’t get away. Though… you know that you really don’t want to. He exhales slowly, his breath ghosting over your lips, before he closes the distance between your mouths. His lips are thin and slightly chapped, but he obviously knows what he’s doing. His mouth moves slowly, almost teasingly as he coaxes your mouth to move with his. He presses in closer to place one hand on the middle of your back and slide down to the small. You aren’t sure what exactly it is – the fact that you’re bound, the fact that you’re at your job, the fact that you liked him, the fact that he’s a criminal, or maybe all of them – but this is the most amazing kiss you’ve had in a while. If ever. There is the beginning of a knot of heat in your core as his tongue licks your lower lip, your mouth immediately opening to allow him entrance. You whimper slightly into the kiss, the noise turning into a soft whine when he pulls away from you. You open your eyes to see him smirking down at you. He’s still holding your body pressed to his, and you can easily feel without your hands how firm his muscles are. How strong he is. He has to be, really, to be able to swing around on his tape as fluidly as he does. But Sero had always been strong. You remember seeing him in the Sports Festival back when he went to UA High School, remember him during the cavalry battle. How he had easily caught a young Ground Zero in mid air with one arm and tossed him back on top of their group. You’d had that in your mind for months after the fact. “I guess it’s a turn on,” he murmurs, one hand going up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind your ear. “So now the real question is… how much of a turn on is it?” He leans close, his voice dropping to a low whisper. “You gonna let me get into that dress? I’d like to know what you taste like.” Your breath hitches, a shiver going down your spine. You want it, so fucking badly, but are you bold enough to let him? Well, it’s not like you have much of a choice, you reason with yourself. Sure, it’s probable that he won’t touch you if you say no, but you’re bound. Helpless. At his mercy. You hold your breath as he pulls back just far enough to look into your eyes, and you give the slightest nod on the exhale. His mouth curls into another smirk and he lets you go to back away. You look at him in confusion until he shoots more tape at the ceiling – two strands, that he attaches to your ankles and uses to keep your legs yanked into the air. Your dress hikes up to your hips when he pushes your thighs up and ties his tape to each one. This leaves you splayed open, suspended in front of him. On display for his dark eyes to rove over. He steps close to you again, both hands running on the outside of your thighs until they reach your hips. Then he moves to his knees to put himself at face level with your core. “Mm. Already wet for me, I see,” he says in a husky, teasing tone. Before you can formulate a quippy answer the hands on your hips dig in and he pulls your forward to his mouth. His wide, flat tongue licks up your damp panties and your breath is ripped from your lungs. He lets out a pleasurable groan. “Delicious. Just like I thought. But I’m sure it’d be better without these in the way.” Sero hooks his thumb into your panties and pulls them to the side before repeating his tongue drag. This time it pulls a strangled moan from you. He lets out another groan in response and pulls back just enough to look at you from between your legs. “That’s it, make more of those noises for me.” And he pulls you back in. You’d had oral sex before, sure. Roughly half of the guys you dated did it, and a decent number of them enjoyed it. It had always astounded you how much a guy wanted your mouth on his dick but didn’t want to return the favor. Sero Hanta, on the other hand, ate you like he was starving and you were the most decedant thing he’d ever tasted. His hands kept you pressed tightly to his face to the point that you’d probably be concerned for his ability to breathe if you could string a thought together. He seems like he’s everywhere at once. His tongue lapping up your sex before dipping inside of it, back out to drag up and circle your clit. Now and then he’d suck or gently bit it, causing a sharp increase in the moans he was pulling out of you. He had you strung up in a way that you really could only see the top of his head as he worked you over, so you could never quite tell what was coming next. You let out a noise of surprise that tapers into a moan when his first finger breaches you. “Look at you,” he breathes as he presses kisses to the insides of your thighs. “Opening right up for me.” He leans back far enough to be able to catch your eyes. “Such a good girl.” He curls his long, dexterous finger up to press against the small, spongy spot inside you that has you bucking in your restraints. He grins. Sero knows exactly what he’s doing. He slides his finger out only to press two back in as he leans forward. “Cum for me, babe?” he breathes out across your sex before wrapping his lips back around your clit. The sucking sensation coupled with the press against that spot inside you has you crying out and coming apart around him. He rolls his fingers as you ride through it while gently licking at your clit, your hips jerking and trying to get away from the over-stimulation. You’re slightly dazed as he rises up, grabbing your hips again and pressing his bulge into your soaked folds. Despite how sensitive you are, you can’t help but buck back into him. “Can I use your mouth, babe?” He tilts his head slightly, grinning when you enthusiastically nod your consent. You can’t quite find words, so… body language. Sero pulls a blade out from somewhere around his hip and cuts the tape to let your legs down. More tape shoots off, more tape is cut, you don’t really have the capacity to follow what he’s doing. Then you’re being moved. Sero tilts you forward until your face is level with his hips, but your toes are still just skimming the floor again. He has your hips bound up a little higher than your head and you look at him from under your lashes. He reaches out to skim fingers down the line of your jaw. “Beautiful,” he mumbles. Your heart swells with the praise, and you bite your lip before opening your mouth, sticking your tongue out, and looking back up at him. He curses under his breath and flicks his fingers under a nearly invisible seam at the crotch of his suit, revealing a button and long zipper. How convenient, you think as he undoes both and pulls his cock out through the hole. He immediately drops it so the head bounces on your tongue, hissing at how warm your tongue is. His cock isn’t particularly wide, but it is long and slightly curved upward. And he tastes so good, you really want to close your mouth and get to work, but you wait. He rocks his hips marginally to let the head slide a few centimetres and bites his lip.  “Fuck. You are a good girl. Go ahead and close your mouth, babe.” You happily oblige, feeling a thrill at the way his head tips back when you swirl your tongue around the head. He drops a large hand on your head but instead of guiding your head further down like most of the guys you’ve been with, he winds his fingers gently in your hair. His thumb starts rubbing soft circles on your head as he rocks his hips into your mouth. You want more. You’re very confident that you can take him down to the root, and you want to try. You try to push forward but it’s very awkward with your toes scrambling on the floor. He notices once you whine a little, and looks down with a chuckle. “You want more?” He steps forward a little, letting more of his length slide in until he bumps into the back of your throat. You let out a small moan and let your tongue dance around his underside to show your approval. He makes a guttural noise and starts to rock his hips into you faster. Harder. You hollow out your cheeks as you look up at him and he moans.  “Shit, I’m not gonna last if you do that,” he rasps out with a slight laugh. He manages a few more thrusts before he’s pulling out of your mouth. He’s panting a little and looking at you with a lopsided grin. "Damn babe, you're good with that mouth." You flush a little and smile. You’d been told that before, but somehow it was so much better coming from Sero. "Thanks. You're um, you're good with your tape." Sero’s face brightens, and his mouth curls up to a wide grin as he tucks himself back into his suit. "Yeah? Think so? You haven't seen the half of it.” Before you can question what he means by that the switchblade is out again. He cuts you down and lets you find your feet. The blade gets positioned at your hip, then Sero’s wrist flicks up. It cuts you out of the tape… and out of your dress.  “Sorry babe,” he murmurs with no real remorse in his voice. You open your mouth to protest your ruined dress but Sero pulls you close, pressing your bare chest to his body suit clad one and kiss you into silence. It’s not important. You have a dress in your locker. It’s fine. As you’re kissing you feel his fingers caress the line of your panties, along your hips, before he pulls on them slightly. He’s testing to see if he can remove them, you assume. You quickly pull them further down.  He chuckles into your kiss and swiftly crouches to help you out of them before tucking them into a nearly invisible back pocket. He gives you a cheeky grin and quickly removes the tape from your ankles. Technically you’re free now, but the thought to run doesn’t even cross your mind. You just wait until he straightens up and moves back in for more kisses. After a few moments you hear his tape shoot out again three times. He pulls back as he shoots a fourth. It binds around your bare chest, just under your breasts. “The anchor,” he says with a wink.  You tilt your head in confusion, and he pulls his arm back to rest his hand on the back of his neck. He pulls more tape from his elbow, a sizable piece. He starts to twist the tape and wrap you up. He attaches the tape to the front of the strip already on you, threads it up through your breasts, and attaches it at the back almost to your hip. He repeats that on the other side. He keeps making and twisting tape, wrapping around your ankles and wrists. He steps behind you and presses your wrists together, crossing them, and quietly asks you to keep them there. You do. His fingers skimming over your skin as he works you over it so erotic. He wraps tape around your elbows, not twisted, to keep your arms straight out. Sero takes one of the tape strands attached to the ceiling and attaches it to the tape on your back. Now you kind of understand what he meant when he said it was an anchor point.  “I’m gonna lift you up, okay?”  You exhale, already shaky. “Yeah. Yeah that’s fine.” He smiles and grabs your chin, brushing a soft kiss to your lips. Your heart skips a beat. He makes another tape rope and crouches down to affix it to your ankle. He runs fingertips with a feather light touch up the side of your leg as he rises. Then he pulls, your ankle coming up. He keeps pulling higher until your thigh follows. He binds your ankle to your wrist, then ties your lower thigh and upper leg together. The position keeps your leg up and folded in. He quickly repeats this with the other side before attaching the last two tape strands he shot off at first to your ankles. You’re suspended by your ankles and the middle of your back, arms stretched out and held in place behind you. Because your ankles are also attached to your wrists, if you shift or move one of them the others move too. You bite your lip as Sero walks around to your front. He traces fingers along your jawline again but this time he doesn’t stop, tipping your face up to his by your chin. “Gorgeous,” he breathes, reverence in his voice. Your face flushes, because he’s looking at you like you’re the most breathtaking thing he’s ever seen. He runs his thumb over your lower lip and your lips automatically part. He gives you a slight smirk and crouches so he can be face to face with you without removing his fingers from your face. “Now, I’d really like to fuck you. But if you don’t want to, I can use my mouth on you again instead.” His voice was soft, eyes watching your face for your reaction. You swallow, and nod. He chuckles a little. “I gotta hear you say it, babe.” “Yeah, yeah please. I want you to fuck me, Sero,” you gasp out in a rushed breath. He leans in and softly kisses your lips. “Good girl,” he whispers against your mouth and rises. You shiver in anticipation as you lose sight of him when he moves behind you. You’re straining to hear what he’s doing, and you hear the rustle of his clothes, the tearing of a wrapper. Your eyes widen as you feel his blunt head sliding along your still soaked folds. The tease is too much and you whine again, but you can’t push back against him. He’s taken all of your possible leverage away and now you really were entirely at his mercy. Large hands grab on to your waist as the first inch sinks in. You inhale and Sero quietly asks if you’re okay. “I’m fine,” you say with impatience in your tone, “Just waiting.”  Sero chuckles behind you. “Well, who am I to keep a lady waiting?” Air is punched out of your lungs as he sheathes himself in one thrust, then slides back out. One more hard thrust, a soft groan from him, and then he’s railing into you hard and fast. While he’s not the thickest man you’ve ever had, he is still a good size and the drag of his cock on your walls is making you cry out as it rubs against the small bundle of nerves inside you. And his length is incredible. He’s bottoming out with each thrust, and his leverage on your hips has him pulling you back as he pushes forward. Hard, deep, and driving you to a second release faster than you thought possible. Sero groans again and picks up his pace. “Fuck, yeah, that’s good baby. Look at you, sucking me in like this. You feel so good around me. Can’t wait to feel you cum on my cock.” His voice is so low, murmuring the words to you, and you clench around him. He hisses at the feeling, moaning out on his exhale. “That’s right, cum on my cock baby. Just let go.” One of his hands leaves your hip and he steps closer to you. You’re bouncing on him a bit more due to gravity than his grasp, and the free hand snakes down to rub sloppy circles on your clit. Five swipes and you’re done for, crying out loudly as your walls clamp down around him. He stops moving in you, still all the way inside, gently and slowly rubbing your clit as your ride out your orgasm. He doesn’t stop though, even as you come down and the pleasure starts to be too much. “S-Sero, I can’t-” “Sure you can, babe. I know you have one more for me.” He rolls his hips fractionally, barely an inch of his cock sliding in and out of you as he keeps his attention on your clit. Your thighs pulled back as far as they are prevent you from closing them to stop him, and it only takes a few minutes before you’re sobbing as another orgasm rips through you. Only now does he pull his hand away and moves so he is standing like he’d been. His hand returns to your bare hip. “See, I knew you had it in you. So fucking good for me.” You barely have time to process his words before he’s fucking into you hard again. He’s chasing his own orgasm now, and you desperately want to give it to him. You can’t touch him though, and you can’t wrap your legs around him to pull him closer. The only thing you can do is flex your walls, make the hole he’s fucking into tighter. It earns you a moan of appreciation that makes you giddy. “Shit, babe, I’m gonna-” He cuts off into a drawn out moan as he slams into you one more time, hard. Then a few softer thrusts. Then he’s done, and you’re both just panting. Desperate attempts to fully fill your lungs. It takes a full minute before Sero pulls out and starts to move. “Well… I must admit that I wasn’t expecting this particular type of art when I came here.” Sero huffs out a laugh and you blink in your post orgasm haze. He peels the condom off and pulls a small bag from his pocket to drop it into. The bag gets closed and shoved back in his pocket. Right, he doesn’t want to leave any evidence that he was here. You bite your lip as you try to stare at him over his shoulder. “Lotus Daydream isn’t here.” Sero looks at you in surprise when you blurt out the words. “It’s on loan to another museum. It’s been gone for three days.” He blinks in disbelief, and then bursts out laughing. “You sneaky little thing.” But he doesn’t sound angry. He sounds amused, even impressed. “I guess that theft-wise my trip was a bust.” Sero runs a hand over the side of his head, smoothing back some stray hair strands. He looks at you still hanging on display as if he’s trying to figure out what to do with you. You bite your lip in consideration. “I won’t say anything about you breaking in if you just leave. Since the piece you’re after isn’t here anyway.” It’s a long shot but worth a try. He frowns a little as he studies your face. You really wish that you could at least close your legs, if not actually get back onto the floor. “Yeah. Alright. You have a deal. You don’t say anything about me being here and I’ll let you go.” Your face brightens and his grows more serious. “But if I do find out that you said something… I’ll be coming after you. And you will desperately wish that you hadn’t. Do you understand?” “Yeah. I understand.” You’re proud that your voice is firm, and the frown turns back up to his wide, trademark smile. He pulls the switchblade back out to cut his tape, gently lowering you to the floor. Only now does he remember that he shredded your dress when he cut you out of his initial containment.  “I have a spare dress in my locker,” you say quickly. Sometimes – almost daily - you get the varnish on your clothes. Most days that doesn’t matter. You don’t really leave your office. But you do try to make sure you have a spare outfit in case you have to meet someone important. You blink as he says that he’ll grab it and he heads off. Somehow you aren’t surprised that he knows where the lockers are and that he can apparently pick your lock. He returns in moments carrying your dress draped over his shoulder. He carefully peels the rest of the tape off of your bare skin. His gentleness is surprising and makes your heart flutter. He’s going slow, careful to not hurt you. He lets you dress, comes with you to pick up your bag, and walks you to the door. He looks out over the street once you’re outside. “The video feed is on a loop. I put your guard to sleep, he’ll wake up without any knowledge that he was knocked out.” Sero gives a bright grin and a small two-finger wave, then shoots his tape up, retracting it to propel up and disappears onto the roof. You watch him go in awe. Sero was amazing in your mind back when you first met him but he was just stunning now. You glance at your watch to check the time. It’s late, the trains have already stopped. You don’t live that far from the museum though, maybe a twenty five minute walk. So you set off. You get three blocks before you hear a low whistle. “Hey baby, what’re you doing out by yourself this late at night? Wanna come party with us?” Your blood runs cold at the trio of men lurking at the alley entrance to your right. The smell of cheap sake invades your senses. Your hand goes to your pocket for your phone and a cold sense of realization washes over you. It had been knocked from your hands and was currently under a shelf in the artifact room. As you’re preparing to run a rough hand grabs you and yanks you into the darkened alley. A different hand clasps over your mouth, but drunks don’t have the best coordination or reflexes. You’re able to bite down hard on one of the man’s fingers. He yells and yanks his hand back, and you take the opportunity to let out a scream. One of the other men growls at you to shut up and smacks you hard upside the head. Your head snaps forward. It dazes you, and your head rolls back. You’re dizzy and can’t seem to focus on any of them. The third man laughs. Three different voices blend together, talking about what they intend to do to such a pretty little thing like you. You’re shoved and pinned up against the rough brick of the alley wall while they argue about who goes first, who goes where. You close your eyes, waiting for the touches you don’t want. But they never come. The hands pinning you leave you and you slide down to the ground. You hear shocked shouts, and when you open your eyes and your vision starts to clear you see a black, white, and yellow figure swinging from a rope – tape! - and kicking one of them drunken men in the face. They try to fight back, but three wobbly drunks are no match for Sero Hanta. He’s too fast, too agile, too strong. Your attackers are all out cold in the alley in under two minutes. Sero, not even breathing heavily from the exertion, lands gracefully on his feet turns to you. With a frown he gently gathers you up in his arms and brings a hand up to touch where they slammed you in the head. “...I heard you scream. Are you alright?” You don’t answer right away. Instead, you bring up a hand and cup his cheek. “You saved me,” you breathe out. Sero’s face softens, and he smiles. He brings you closer and leans down until your foreheads are touching. “Yeah,” he whispers, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I did, didn’t I? Let me get you home.”
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sfb123 · 4 years ago
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Sapere Aude - Part 11
Book: The Royal Heir
Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks
All characters belong to Pixelberry.
Catch Up Here
Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.
Rating: PG-13 Adult language, discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.
Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.
Disclaimer: I have no current affiliation with any other Via Imperii themed stories. Any claims that I have pre-read anything are false.
Word Count: 2,909
A/N: First of all, I have a couple of new readers (hi, thank you, I love you) if this is your first Sapere Aude, stop here, go back, and start from the beginning. This series has a lot of bombs and surprises, so none of this is going to make sense, and it’s going to make it less exciting if you aren’t reading from the beginning. 
Sorry, another long wait for a chapter. I got stuck, and distracted, and like a million other things. The Choices Insider email last week kind of lit a fire under me. When I started writing this (in December) the plan was to have it finished before the last book came out, so I have like a month to get through this. I’m going full out on getting this completed now, I will be working on nothing but this until it is done, and am hoping to finish it in time for the next book to come out so that PB has plenty of time to steal my ideas. 
This chapter took a while for me to work through, but @jessiembruno was amazing and helped me every step of the way, and got like a million rambling text messages from me once the idea dam finally broke. And then pre-reading and leaving me some amazing love notes, and super helpful suggestions. She also kept encouraging me, and pushing me to work on it when my mind would wander into new ideas, or thoughts on some other random WIP that I started throwing together. I love you, and I am so grateful for this friendship that goes way beyond any of this. By the way, you are an AMAZING writer, and I will continue to shout it from the mountain tops as long as I live. 
As always with this series, I need to thank @txemrn for pre-reading. I was having SUCH a miserable day and feeling so shitty about myself (for non-fandom reasons), and your reactions to this chapter made me laugh out loud for the first time in what felt like forever. I appreciate you so much my dear friend. 
And of course, thank you @twinkleallnight for my beautiful series moodboard. 
Tags: Listed below, you know the drill. 
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Liam exited the bedroom and walked toward the sitting area. He paused at the end of the hallway to observe his wife and his daughter sitting on the couch. Riley had her blouse in hand, sewing on the button Olivia sent her for her undercover mission. She was showing Eleanor how to sew, talking her through every stitch. The princess was watching and listening intently, taking in every word her mother said. 
He leaned his right shoulder against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as he admired his family. He didn’t understand how it was possible to fall even more in love every time he looked at them. All he wanted in this world was their happiness and safety, and now here he was, sending his wife straight to the enemy. 
“Hi Daddy!” The angelic voice of his daughter pulled him from his thoughts. 
“Hi Princess. Are you being a good helper for mommy?” He lifted Eleanor off the couch and sat in her seat, placing her on his lap. 
“Best helper a girl could ask for.” Riley held her hand out, palm up, and Eleanor gave her a high five. 
Liam enjoyed the company of his family for a few more moments, before placing a kiss on his daughter’s cheek. “Alright Eleanor, why don’t you go play in your room for a little while? Mommy and daddy have to talk about grown up things.”
“Yes, daddy. Will you come play after?” 
“Of course, I believe I am owed a tea party.” He gave her a hug before setting her down and watching her run to her room. When she was gone, he turned his attention back to Riley. “How are you feeling, love?”
Riley cut the lingering thread from the button and placed her blouse on the table in front of them before responding. “I mean, obviously I’m nervous, but I’m optimistic that I’ll come back with something we can use. How are you feeling?”
He sighed and pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head as it landed on his chest. “Riley, I love how much you worry about me, but let me worry about you right now. Let me be your support system. Tell me truly, how are you feeling?”
“I’m...I’m terrified.” She pulled back and looked him in the eyes, tears beginning to pool in her own. “I’m trying so hard to be strong, to put on a brave face, but this is fucking terrifying. We don’t know how deep it goes, we know some of the people that are involved, but how do we know that that’s everyone?”
“You’re right, there are a lot of unknowns, and that’s scary.” He cupped her face in his hands, wiping a falling tear with his thumb. “But I truly believe that we are going to end this. That you are going to end this. Don’t forget, you are the Champion of The Realm.”
“Yeah, but I’m sleeping with the guy who makes those decisions, he may have been a little biased.” She shrugged, half joking. 
Liam removed his hands, his expression becoming more serious. “Riley, that’s not funny. You have earned every single thing you have received since you arrived in this country, our country. I don’t ever want you to believe that my feelings for you overrule my judgement when it comes to your abilities. You are the strongest person I have ever met. If anyone can do this, it’s you.”
“IF anyone can do this. What if nobody can?”
“Then we will face the fallout together. Like we always do, like we always will. We are the King and Queen of Cordonia, Liam and Riley Rys. We are a force to be reckoned with.” He raised an eyebrow as he parroted back her reassuring words from a few nights before. 
She smirked at him. “Hey, no fair, you can’t use my own words to prove your point like that.” 
“Yes I can, old negotiation tactic.” He winked at her and stood from the couch reaching for her hand. “Come on, we still have the whole day ahead of us. Let’s go have a tea party with our daughter, then I’m taking my girls out for dinner.”
****
Two days later, Riley was sitting in the back of an SUV heading toward the Fierro Estate. She was doing her best to quell her nerves, but she couldn’t help her hands from fidgeting in her lap. 
“You seem on edge, ma’am. Is everything ok?” The sound of Mara’s voice cut through the silence, startling Riley. 
“Oh...yeah, I’m fine Mara. I’m just not really sure what to expect from this meeting. Last time I went to one of these events, I found out my mother in law wasn’t actually dead. I don’t know if I could handle another surprise like that.”
Mara chuckled at her concern. “Don’t worry your majesty, this is a simple strategy meeting followed by a dinner. You have met all of the members, so there will be no surprise guests this time around.”
Riley nodded and turned her head, watching the scenery pass by as they continued to their destination. Her mind was racing thinking about what this meeting would have in store. She practiced taking pictures with the pen, and activating the recorder she had sewn into her shirt. As they got closer to the estate, she felt her heart rate speed up, and the knot in her stomach tighten.
When they arrived, Riley was ushered into the grand room, which had been set up with a large table. The other members were standing around in small groups chatting until it was time for the meeting to begin. Riley fidgeted with the pen, twirling it in her fingers before lifting it to her face and tapping it against her chin and clicking it several times. She hoped it came off as a nervous habit, providing cover for the fact that she was actually taking pictures around the room. 
She gasped and nearly jumped out of her skin at the feeling of a hand gently being placed on her shoulder. She whipped around to see Eleanor smiling softly at her. “Riley dear, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Oh, Eleanor. Hello.” Riley held her hand to her chest, trying to get her heart rate back to normal. “It’s ok, I’m just a little nervous. Not really sure what to expect from this meeting.”
“Don’t worry, I promise it’s just regular business, nothing earth shattering. Come on, it’s time to get this started, and you’re sitting next to me.” Eleanor wrapped her arm around Riley and led her to the table. The other guests took this as their cue to follow, as the meeting was about to get underway. As Riley sat, she adjusted her skirt and blouse, using the opportunity to activate the microphone embedded in her button. 
As the chapter president, Eleanor kicked off the meeting by greeting their newest member, Queen Riley, and explaining that she was there to help push their initiatives though with the King. Riley clenched her fist ever so slightly, a trick she used when she was trying to keep her expression neutral. They continued on, reviewing the minutes of the last meeting, it all seemed to be pretty mundane, things that wouldn't even necessarily cross hers or Liam’s desk. 
Then they opened up the floor to new business, and Neville stood to address the room. “I would like to revisit the Auvernal alliance.”
Riley was able to maintain her stoic expression, but her body tensed at the mention of Auvernal. She and Liam had made it perfectly clear that there would be no alliance. “I don’t believe there is anything to revisit there.” She chimed in. “King Liam and I determined that the alliance would not be beneficial for Cordonia.”
“Actually, I believe you determined the alliance would not be beneficial to you and your husband.” Neville rebutted, crossing his arms over his chest. “You didn’t want to marry off your daughter, you didn’t bother thinking of what the alliance could bring to our country.”
“Are you questioning the decisions of your monarchs? I urge you to remember your station, Lord Neville.” Riley raised an eyebrow and stood a bit taller. 
Neville scoffed at her threat. “And I urge you to remember that you may have slept your way to the top in Cordonia, but the Via Imperii is bigger than the monarchy, and in this society, I outrank you.”
“Well, if being the Queen doesn’t matter in this room, then there is nothing stopping me from coming over there and beating your a...”
“Ok ok ok, let’s all calm down here.” Eleanor grabbed Riley’s arm, stopping her from charging at Neville. “Let’s all sit down and have a rational conversation, weighing out the pros and cons of an alliance.” Riley and Neville both sat down and exchanged narrow glances. “Now Neville, since you have brought this proposal to the group, you will go first. Please explain to us your thought process on revisiting the alliance.”
Neville nodded and smirked at Riley. “It is clear that combining the financial security of Cordonia with the military strength of Auvernal would make us an unstoppable force. Besides, we need the extra protection given our country’s recent history.” He glared at Riley once again.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Riley huffed. 
“Look at the instability we have faced in recent years. Our crown prince abdicated, his successor, our current king, broke off a perfectly suitable engagement to marry a foreign commoner who was marred in scandal.”
“He released a statement that cleared that whole thing up. The scandal is irrelevant.” She could feel her cheeks heating up.
“Do you really think people stopped talking about it? You can’t really believe that it won’t be a part of your legacy as our Queen.” 
Riley slouched down in her seat. She knew she should remain composed, but bringing up the Tariq scandal hit a nerve that she didn’t know still existed. One of her biggest concerns in continuing her relationship with Liam, and accepting his proposal, was that his success as King would be overshadowed by the scandal she had faced. She had thought that after all these years, it would have been forgotten, but Neville bringing it up just brought everything back up and made her realize it would be something that was attached to her name forever. 
“Besides the personal problems our royal family has faced, there have been multiple attempts to overthrow them just within our own country. Sons of Earth, Duke Godfrey, Barthelemy Beaumont, just to name a few. Other countries are seeing this, and it won’t be long before they try to come for us as well.” Neville continued. 
“While I don’t agree with his delivery, Lord Neville does make some valid points.” Emmeline interjected, the rest of the room began murmuring in agreement. Riley couldn’t hide her shocked expression as she felt tears start to build up in her eyes. She blinked them away, she was not going to give them the satisfaction of seeing their queen cry. 
Eleanor took back control of the room before turning to Riley. “Riley, would you like to counter? You and Liam worked directly with Auvernal during the marriage alliance talks, you clearly have some insight that we may not be privy to.”
Riley took a deep breath to get her emotions under control before standing to address the room. “Aside from the fact that Bradshaw and Isabella are deplorable people with hell spawn children, the main reason that we decided an alliance was not in the best interest of Cordonia, was because it was clear that their interest was not an alliance, but a hostile takeover of our country.”
“Perhaps we would prosper under their rule. I haven’t heard of any coup attempts in Auvernal, it seems to me like they’re doing something right.” Neville spoke up. 
“So that’s it then? You all think Bradshaw and Isabella would do a better job as your king and queen, so I’m just supposed to convince Liam to relinquish the throne?” Riley threw her hands up in frustration and stepped away from the table. 
“Your majesty, we’re not making the final decision right here, right now, we just want to remain open to the idea and explore some options.” Emmeline tried to talk Riley down. “Perhaps you and King Liam could take a meeting with them, a friendly lunch maybe, just to open the lines of communication.”
“This is ridiculous. I can’t believe you all expect me to agree with this!” Riley was now pacing the room, overcome with a nervous energy.
Eleanor stood and lifted a hand to quiet the room. “Alright, that’s enough. I think we’ve gotten as far as we’re going to get with this conversation tonight. Dinner is being set out in the dining hall. I suggest we adjourn for the day. Let’s all compose ourselves and think about all sides of this conversation. We will pick up the conversation at the next meeting.”
As the members started filing out of the room, Eleanor approached Riley and gently placed her hand on her arm to keep her still. “Are you alright Riley?” 
Riley shrugged Eleanor’s hand off of her, anger clear on her face. “Of course I’m not alright. I basically just had a room full of my subjects telling me that my husband and I are doing a shitty job, and they think those monsters are better suited to look out for their best interests. Of course I’m not fucking alright!” Riley moves in closer, lowering her voice but not losing any of the anger in her tone. “I thought you were here doing this to protect Liam. Do you really think that this is protecting him? Handing his kingdom over to Auvernal?!”
“Riley, I always have Liam’s best interests at heart, I promise you that. Why don’t you head home, take a couple of days to relax and take everything in. I will set up a meeting for you and I later this week to talk about everything and work out a game plan.”
“Fine, I can’t stay here anymore anyway. And I definitely don’t have an appetite for dinner.” Riley walked out of the room, looking for Mara so that they could get back to the palace. She stepped into the dining area and saw Mara standing in the far corner talking to Neville. She clenched her jaw and took a deep breath before approaching the pair. “Mara, we will not be staying for dinner. We are returning to the palace immediately. I want to be home to put my daughter to bed.” She wasn’t going to give Neville the satisfaction of knowing she was leaving because of what he started. 
“Of course, your majesty.” Mara nodded and exited with Riley. 
The ride home was silent. In all the years that Mara had worked for Riley, she had never seen her this upset. She wasn’t entirely sure how to handle it, or what would be considered overstepping her duties, so she decided to stay quiet and let Riley speak, if she wanted to. She didn’t. 
They arrived at the palace and walked together to the royal quarters. As Riley placed her hand on the doorknob to enter, Mara cleared her throat to get her attention. “Your majesty, I know this was a difficult evening for you, but I do feel I need to remind you that discretion is key in the Via Imperii. His majesty cannot know what happened tonight. You will need to lock those feelings away for the time being.”
Riley pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded. She knew she was going to fall into Liam's arms and cry the second she saw him, and then she would tell him everything, but she couldn’t let Mara know that. “Liam and I will be staying in for the rest of the night. You are dismissed for the evening.” Riley walked into her quarters and shut the door before Mara had a chance to respond. 
As soon as she closed the door, she leaned back against it and dropped her head into her hands. Liam came walking into the room, the smile that appeared on his face when he heard the front door open quickly faded as he took in the sight of his wife sobbing at the front door. “Riley?” She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face as she tried to catch her breath. He rushed over to her and pulled her close, she buried her head in his chest as he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head trying unsuccessfully to soothe her. “Shhhh, it’s alright love, I’m right here, I’ve got you. Tell me what happened.”
Riley could barely speak, but she slowly tried to explain everything that had happened that night. Liam walked her to the couch as she spoke, she needed to sit, anything to help her relax and calm down. He stared at her in disbelief as he listened to his wife tearfully recap her evening. 
On the other side of the door, Mara pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket, selecting one of the contacts and bringing the phone to her ear. “My lord, you were right. We will need to put your plan in motion.”
Permatag:
@anjanettexcordonia @athena-penrose @bbrandy2002 @chemist-ana​ @choicesficwriterscreations​ @choiceskatie​ @cordonia-gothqueen​ @cordoniaqueensworld​ @emkay512​ @gabesmommie1130​ @gkittylove99​ @hopelessromanticmonie​ @iaminlovewithtrr​ @jessiembruno​ @kat-tia801​ @khoicesbyk​ @kingliam2019​ @lucy-268​ @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​ @mile9213​ @mom2000aggie​ @pixie88​ @queenrileyrose​ @secretaryunpaid​ @sweatyrysconnoisseur​ @tessa-liam​ @theroyalheirshadowhunter​ @twinkleallnight​ @txemrn​
Sapere Aude:
@burnsoslow @busywoman @gardeningourmet @ofpixelsandscribbles
Liam x Riley:
@jared2612
Liam:
@amandablink @yourmajesty09
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vennilavee · 4 years ago
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to build a home - ch 1
beyond the drapes
attack on titan masterlist
ch 2 - a girl in a bar
Pairing: levi x reader (attack on titan)
Summary: a modern au where you and levi both work for the Survey Corps, a non-profit organization with a mission to help the youth of the Underground District.
Warnings: cursing, suggestive themes
Word Count: 3787
A/N: im so excited to explore levi’s character in this setting!! this story will be a series of moments in no sequential order. in this modern au, the walls still exist, as does the underground district. the only thing modern about it is the technology and culture lolol ENJOY
*** This day is bound to be a long one- it’s only 10 AM and you’ve already been in back to back meetings with several of donors for the foundation. You’ve been in meetings for the last three and a half hours, your toasted bagel now cold and your second cup of coffee now empty. You sigh and roll your shoulders back, pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance.
These rich types would be the death of you. But Erwin had specifically asked you to handle the rich donors. As if Hange or Levi would be able to sit through even one of these ass-kissing phone calls. You can hear sugary sweetness dripping off of your tongue with practiced patience and you hardly recognize it. It’s an out of body experience. As words are rolling off your tongue, you wonder how Levi would fare with this responsibility.
He’d complain the whole time and then tell the person on the other end of the video call to fuck off and get their heads out of their asses. The thought makes you scoff and you clear your throat to cover the sound.
Erwin knew your strengths and weaknesses as individuals and a team, and you were grateful for such an insightful boss and friend.
Once you seal the third donation of the morning, you take your headset off and rub your temples. You’re glad you’re free until noon, giving you some time to catch up on emails and catch up with your colleagues and friends. The drapes in your office were drawn back, illuminating your office in a faint sunny glow. Today, the sun was hiding behind the clouds so it wasn’t terribly bright.
And yes, you had drapes in your office. They were a midnight blue with threads of gold embroidered throughout. Everyone else had normal blinds, but you had seen these drapes while window shopping years ago for this new office and you knew it belonged. Something about the blue and gold made you feel royal and regal. As if this was yours and yours only.
That didn’t mean that Levi didn’t tell you how stupid your drapes were and how stupid you were at least once daily- “You think this is a stupid castle or something? You hear yourself?”
To which you would prompt reply, “if this was a castle, you’d be the damn gargoyle in front. The one that scares everyone away.”
And then he’d just ‘tch’ at you and roll his eyes.
What an ass.
You’re growing restless, so you lock your computer and get up to stretch your muscles for a few minutes. Sitting for hours at a time does a number on you in ways that you’d never expect- your shoulders sometimes hurt, your lower back, even your ass.
Maybe you need a better seat and desk setup, you muse. Walking down the hallway with your cold bagel in your left hand, you rotate your right shoulder and wince. You pass several of the new hires, Eren and Jean who seem to be bickering amongst themselves but straighten up and say ‘good morning’ to you as you pass them. You give them a smile and a wave, continuing on your way.
You stop by Hange’s office, where her door is wide open and papers are strewn all over the place. She’s viciously typing on her computer as she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose in between each word. Her hair is in disarray and you sigh when you knock on her door.
“Hange,” You call, “Did you stay up all night again?”
“Huh? No way,” Hange gasps, looking at the time, “I just got caught up with things! You know- I’m this close to finishing this grant proposal! Look how much money we’re gonna get outta them! They won’t know what hit ‘em-”
“Hange,” You say firmly, “I’m calling you a cab to go home. Go to sleep. I don’t trust you to drive home, considering you’ve been up all night.”
“What?! I can drive-”
“Hange!” You interrupt her, “I’m serious! Come back tomorrow. Take it easy.”
She slumps in her chair in defeat and removes her glasses, rubbing her eyes in fatigue. “Oh alright. I guess I’m a little tired.”
“See you tomorrow, Hange,” You salute and point to your phone, “Cab’s on it’s way.”
With that, you make your way further down the hallway and come to a stop in front of Levi’s office. You knock and immediately open the door without allowing a moment of rest in between.
“What’s the point of knocking if you’re just going to barge in?” Levi asks, eyes still on his computer screen.
“It’s much more dramatic, and we both know you would’ve left me waiting. Because you’re an ass,” You reply good-naturedly, sliding into the seat in front of his desk and propping your legs up on his desk. Your shoes are in his face and he pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance.
“To what do I owe this most shitty pleasure?” Levi says, eyes narrowed at your bagel, “You here to ruin my office? Last time you were here I had to spend an hour cleaning it-”
You bite your tongue at the response you want to provide to that.
“No reason. Just have been on calls all morning. Was bored,” You shrug and wince at the slight shoulder movement.
Levi quirks an eyebrow at you but says nothing. He continues typing away, seemingly ignoring you as you munch on your half of the bagel. Once you’re finished with it, he throws a banana at you wordlessly. You fail to hide your smile.
“You’ll get hungry in about an hour with that shitty bagel. And then I’ll have to hear about it,” Levi says tonelessly, eyes trained on you. You roll your eyes at him and peel your banana.
“So you gave me this banana to shut me up?”
“Yes, it’s in my own best interest.”
A comfortable silence falls between the both of you. You eye the snow globe that you had gotten him for Christmas and his birthday on his shelf. It looks as if you had purchased it for him yesterday, when in reality it was over five years old. His office is as clean as ever, just like him.
“That’s a nice shirt,” You murmur, eyes raking over him shamelessly,  “Who’s the lucky person who bought it for you?”
And honestly, he wants to do something about the smug smirk on your face. But instead he just stares at you, face as impassive as ever. His hair falls into his eyes with a practiced poise. You see the corners of his lips turn up, nearly daring to give you something resembling a smile.
“What makes you think I didn’t buy it myself?”
“Come on, Levi. You and I both know your sense of style is… questionable most times.”
“My sense of style? You really want to talk about your shitty drapes?” Levi asks, but you sense no malice in his voice.
“My drapes? Wouldn’t you like to know if the curtains match the drapes-”
“I can’t think of anything worse to know.”
You gasp in indignation, hand to your heart. “Don’t be such an ass!”
“Then don’t be such a brat!”
“Ugh,” You groan, standing up from your seat and making sure there are no crumbs falling off of you, “I have actual work to do, Ackerman. Quit wasting my time.”
“Door’s right there, sweetheart,” Levi says nonchalantly, looking back down at his planner and not sparing you a second glance.
“See you soon, handsome,” You call, turning back to wave at him and he gifts you with an upturn of his lips.
***
The Survey Corps was a nonprofit organization run by Erwin Smith and the mission of the organization was to find and provide educational resources and mentoring to the youths in the city. Specifically, the mission was to show kids who grew up in the shadows that they could have a life outside of the shadows and in the light with the help of the Survey Corps.
That’s not to say that the Survey Corps had all of the answers and all of the funds to fix the poverty in the walls. But your team tried their hardest to help the kids. Because the kids were the future.
As an organization, you had done some pretty amazing things and had some pretty amazing connections. The Survey Corps had been successful in launching many partnerships and setting up afterschool programs for the kids to find their interests. It was the kind of work that made you feel fulfilled and driven.
Not to mention, that you worked with some of the best people. Despite everyone’s differences, everyone had a clear shared passion for helping the kids of the city.
You truly loved your job, and everyone around you did as well. Ever since Erwin had promoted you to Director of Impact all those years ago and had seen your capabilities, you had really been able to thrive.
Bringing those new kids on board was your idea for the most part- Levi had complained the whole time, asking why they needed a separate youth outreach group when Erwin’s original team wasn’t even that old.
You had kindly told him that you weren’t teenagers anymore and hadn’t been in two decades. He had glared at you but nodded in agreement.
The rest of your afternoon was relatively free, you were just finishing up a few project ideas for outreach and catching up with some of the new kids.
You should probably stop calling them kids, you think dryly. They’re all in their early twenties, fresh faced and eager. Besides Mikasa- she’s almost as neutral as Levi is, with similar eyes, and you can’t help but wonder if they’re distantly related.
You rotate your shoulder again and massage it lightly with a wince. Damn, your right shoulder has been aching over the last week. Maybe you needed a real massage. Or a new chair.
You send all of your emails out quickly with your shoulder beginning to throb in pain as minutes go by.
Death by the office.
You tell Jean and Connie to meet you in the break-out room for your quick catch-up, unable to take sitting at your desk for much longer. You bring a notebook and a pen with you to the break-out room and wait for them to arrive.
They sit across from you with their stainless steel water bottles in front of them. They’re chatting animatedly, telling you about their ideas and their plans of all the good they can bring to the kids within the walls. Their shared enthusiasm makes you smile.
You start taking notes on their ideas, already thinking of ways to bring them to life. You groan softly as your hand cramps up from the pain in your right shoulder and neck shooting down your arm.
Jean calls your name and you look up.
“Are you okay?” He asks, “You look like you’re in pain.”
“Obviously she’s in pain!” Connie exclaims indignantly, “Sorry about him. He likes to state the obvious.”
“I’ll be alright. My shoulder is just- acting up today…” You trail off and rotate it, “Anyway, I like your ideas. Keep it up, I love the enthusiasm. And don’t try to out maneuver each other either.”
You look pointedly at Jean who gives you a look of innocence.
“We’re a team,” You murmur.
“Captain still calls us interns,” Connie blurts out and you can’t help but let out a laugh. That they still call Levi their Captain, because he’s so rigid with them and that he still calls them interns.
“I’ll talk to Captain grump,” You reassure them, “He calls you interns out of affection.”
“Affection? From Captain Levi? Pff,” Jean scoffs, crossing his arms.
“You’d be surprised, Jean.”
***
Levi catches your soft whistle of pain as you slide the straps of your backpack over your shoulders. He wordlessly stands behind you and pushes the straps of your arm and carries your backpack for you instead. He gives you his phone and keys to hold on to and you give him a smile in return.
He walks you to the car in silence, opening the door for you and waiting for you to get in. Levi catches your grimace and soft exhale once more as you shift in the seat.
“You told Hange to go home?��� Levi asks, breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” You nod, “She was here all night again. I don’t know how it gets past Erwin, but I told her to come back after she’s rested.”
Levi nods, eyes trained on the road in front of him. One hand on the steering wheel and one on his thigh. After a moment of staring off into the setting sun, you feel Levi’s hand slide into yours and his thumb rub against yours. His gaze hasn’t shifted, but you can see the light in the corner of his eyes.
He has let his hair and his scruff grow out a little longer than he usually likes- is he distracted? You can’t recall the last time his hair has been this long, but you like it. You make a mental note to ask him about it once you get home.
But as always, Levi can feel your eyes on him.
“Why are you staring?” He asks bluntly.
“Just lookin’ at your ugly mug,” You say nonchalantly, not missing the way his lips quirk up.
“You’ve been with this ugly mug for the last six years,” Levi says dryly, “And what does that say about you?”
“That I have good taste,” You beam at him and he rolls his eyes fondly.
“You’re a brat.”
“You’re an ass.”
You squeeze his hand and watch the planes of his face imperceptibly relax. He wonders how long your shoulder has been bothering you like this. You had mentioned a few times over the last week that it was an odd sort of ache, but today, it seemed like you were in a lot of pain. He’ll ask you about it when you get home.
Home. The space he’s shared with you for the last three and a half years. Levi thinks about that often. He thinks about being a rough, underground kid with nothing but dirt and danger to his name. He wonders if that kid would’ve ever dreamed of living a life like this. He often thinks about Erwin finding him so young and pledging to help him and help kids like him.
Levi often thinks about you. You, who had offered him nothing but laughs and coffee when he had nothing to give. You, who offered your shoulder when he didn’t have the strength to ask. You, who found a crack in his armor of steel and buried yourself next to him despite his roughness.
You.
Even now, he still wonders from time to time if you are aware of the extent of his adoration for you. But when you look at him in that soft way of yours, in that way that’s only reserved for him, he thinks you do.
***
Levi hears your pained gasp from the kitchen and then a call of his name. He sees you standing in your underwear, clutching your right shoulder with creased eyebrows.
“Levi,” You murmur, “Will you help me out of this shirt?”
Levi hums and brushes his knuckles over your neck gently.
“Lift your arms up for a second. This would be easier if this shirt was a button up rather than this shitty material,” He mutters, “This might hurt for a sec.”
He hears your sharp inhale and exhale as he pulls your top off. Levi pulls out one of his own shirts that has now become your sleep shirt and a pair of his shorts for you. He’s quick and precise in his movements, unclasping your bra easily and tugging his shirt over your head. He even helps you into his shorts and you press a kiss to his cheek in gratitude.
Levi rubs your shoulder gingerly, eyes cast over you in concern.
“Go sit on the couch,” Levi murmurs, “I think we still have some of that medicinal paste my mom gave us. The one that’s supposed to help with pains like this. Your shoulder is tight.”
“That’s not the only thing that’s tight,” You wink at him and he shakes his head, patting your hair.
You’re tempted to follow Levi to the kitchen but refrain when he shoots you a look. Instead, you settle on the couch, stretching your legs out.
“Took you long enough,” You grumble, scooting up on the couch for him to lay behind you.
“It took me two minutes. Did you lose your sense of time as well?” Levi murmurs, pulling you into his chest.
You hum, already feeling yourself relax and take his hand in yours. Levi pulls the right side of your shirt down a little to examine your shoulder. He presses a finger to your upper neck and you hiss once his fingers press a little lower. He continues his examination, trying to figure out exactly where you’re in pain.
“Gonna give you a massage,” Levi says, “Might hurt at first. It’ll feel nice after. You can hold my hand if it does.”
“Thanks for your permission, honey,” You roll your eyes but clasp his free hand in yours once more.
His fingers are steady, gentle but firm against your skin. Levi whispers words to you, words of his day, words of what he thinks of the new interns. You correct him for the millionth time, reminding him that they’re not interns anymore. They’re employees now, part of the team. He scoffs but it pulls a laugh from you.
And then you gasp sharply when Levi’s hand prods at a knot. You squeeze his hand reflexively but after a few soothing touches, the pain washes away and the knot dissolves. Levi continues to rub your muscles and you lean further into his chest, your eyes closed in bliss.
He maneuvers you so as to not disturb you too much and spreads the topical analgesic on your shoulder, leaving your skin exposed. So that the medicine doesn’t spread on your shirt.
“Good?” Levi asks, rubbing your other shoulder. You nod, peering up at him and pecking his lips in gratitude. You try to deepen the kiss, try to rake your fingers through his hair the way he likes, but he turns his cheek.
“You’re gonna waste the medicine. It’ll stick to your shirt rather than your shoulder.”
“Seriously?” You groan.
“Blame your shitty shoulder,” Levi says and you glare at him.
“Take my shirt off then.”
“It’ll stick to your shirt when I take it off. Don’t be stupid.”
“Wow, you really thought this through,” You grumble, settling back into his chest and hoping the medicine absorbs quickly. He gives you a rare smile and kisses your forehead, his hand snaking under your shirt to rub your belly, his fingertips at your ribcage. The way he knows you like.
It had taken a long time for Levi to touch you like this. But you didn’t mind though. You were patient, and he was worth it. He was an immensely private person and while he was never ashamed of you- the thought had never even struck his mind- he preferred to keep his business within the walls of your home. Even at work, Erwin often teased both of you that he could hardly tell that you were in a long term relationship with the way you two bickered with each other and the general lack of PDA. But Hange, bless her, would scold Erwin for being so dense-
How can you not tell? They argue like a married couple!
It had taken a long time for Levi to touch you like this. He can remember when the mere act of looking at you had proven to be too much sometimes. And somehow, you always knew when he needed space. When it got to be too much. It had even taken you a long time to touch him like this. He was unlike anyone you had ever met in every way. You’re certain from the way you fit within the spaces of his arms that this is where you were meant to be.
Something gentle settles in your cheeks, in the way you blink at him, in the way you’re stroking his undercut. He very nearly purrs at the touch but still-
“What are you thinking about?”
“You,” You reply, not missing his ‘tch’ in response, “Your hair’s getting long…”
You run your fingers through his dark, silky strands and leave a trail of burning embers in your wake. You cup his cheek and he leans into your touch, head tilting into your hand slightly. His grown out stubble prickles your hand and you push yourself closer to him.
“Something on your mind?” You murmur, “You never go this long without a haircut. Or a shave.”
“Testing something out,” Levi says vaguely and you hum.
“Whatever you say, honey,” You reply, pressing a kiss to his neck.
“Don’t worry about it. You’ll hurt yourself if you think too much.”
“Noted. Thanks for looking out for me, Levi,” You say dryly, poking his chest.
“Someone has to,” Levi mutters, “Think you need a new chair at work. You’ve always had a shitty chair. Or maybe you need a standing desk. I’ll build you one.”
You’re barely listening, eyes beginning to flutter closed and you hum in agreement. Levi is just so warm, it’s no surprise that you’re asleep in just a few minutes. Your breaths are steady against his arm as you shift a little to turn on your side. You must be tired. Levi grabs the book he’s currently reading from the coffee table, drapes a blanket over you and rubs your back as you fall into a deeper sleep.
As he reads, he can’t really focus on the words on the page. He’s busy thinking about you, and how easily you grew to trust him and to love him. Despite how long it took for him to even realize that what he felt towards you was trust and love. Levi thinks back to the kid from the Underground. That kid is still him, and he remembers the faint desire to have a semblance of this life. To feel the sun against his face, the wind in his hair. To be unabashedly himself.
And somehow, not even the freeing feeling of the sun on his face and the wind in his hair can compare to your velvet touch on his skin.
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