#maddie nolan when i catch you

[charbroiledchicken]

GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT FOR THE SECOND TIME.

before act 2 is released can i just say i have a really off feeling about maddie. she hasn't done anything bad, per se, but something about her doesn't sit right with me.

[gothsoyl]

"good girl"

maddie nolan x reader

word count: 750 summary: you were working with maddie as partners when you were suddenly attacked by people from underground. everything is fine now, right? so why do you feel guilty?

note: she's my ultimate good girl

“Look at you... look like you've been to hell,” a grimace appears on your face while you gently wipe Maddie's soiled face: blood, dust and dirt have mixed into one black-red mixture and she hisses slightly when you pass a wet handkerchief over her delicate skin. 

“You don't look any better,” she remarks with a soft smile and you can't tell if it's the blush on her cheeks or if she's just been beaten up really well.

Not much time passed after the remaining consuls were attacked by people from zaun, in broad daylight in a huge crowd. The victims have already been treated, but you two had time to catch your breath.

Your fingers were still shaking from nerves and the fear you felt when one of the goons grabbed Maddie and you couldn't even move. You felt helpless for the first time in your life. So many years of study and work for what? So that in the situation you were training for, you couldn't react?

“That's enough,” Maddie suddenly frowns, noticing how deep you've sunk into your thoughts. You don't listen, you just shake your head, continuing to wipe the blood from her face. Her voice is a little louder the next moment, “I said enough is enough!”

She suddenly grabs your wrist, stopping you from moving. Your eyes widen a little in surprise and you stare blankly at her, not understanding what's the matter.

For a while, you just sit in silence, exchanging glances – hers, stern, but at the same time giving off eternal warmth, and yours, completely lost and full of guilt.

“What if you were killed?” you suddenly whisper, and your eyebrows twitch slightly in surprise at your own words. Maddie is silent – her lips are pursed in a thin line, “I hesitated. I should have been faster. I thought I could...”

“But I'm alive,” Maddie interrupts quietly and sighs, leaning a little closer, as if it's hard for her to keep her back straight, as they taught at the academy, “so you made it.”

You look away, but the words on your tongue are spinning disgustingly. It feels like Maddie doesn't understand. Yes, you did it this time, but what will happen next? When will you freeze again? What if you're not so lucky anymore?

You want to say so much, but there's a lump in your throat.

You don't look at Maddie, but you feel her suddenly running her fingers over your wrist, bringing your hand closer to her face and leaving a barely perceptible kiss on your knuckles. 

It may be difficult to tell if there is a blush on her cheeks or not, but you are definitely blushing very pleasantly.

“You're a good girl,” she whispers, leaving another kiss on her knuckles. Her lips slowly slide to your fingers, and you involuntarily drop the handkerchief on the floor, feeling how gently she treats you.

“You too...” and why did you say that? it sounds so awkward and you bite your lip when she hums faintly, blowing lightly on your fingers. you hesitate (as always), but still take your hand away from her lips, lightly stroking the places where her lips were with the fingers of your other hand. Your voice seems even quieter than before, “Don't. They're dirty.”

“As if I should care at this moment,” a chuckle escapes Maddie's lips and for some reason you do understand how funny it was. You’re both sitting around the ruins, somewhere in the distance you can hear the voices of people and colleagues, you have just survived an attack, and you are worried about dirty fingers?

Maddie sighs and picks up a handkerchief from the floor, brushing it a little from the dust, and bends over to you. With the fingers of her free hand, she takes your chin, turning your face towards her before gently wiping the dirt off it. Just like you did.

“if you're so concerned about hygiene,” she began with a slightly sly smile, making you arch an eyebrow questioningly, “we can report to the general the situation and go to my place to wash up. Does it sound good?”

“Only if you wash me personally,” for some reason you feel a little bolder and the burden of responsibility on your shoulders does not seem so heavy. You even move a little closer to her, feeling your shoulders touching.

Maddie licks her split lip, strange lights in her eyes play before the final nod.

“Then it's a deal.”

[perfectlysunny02]

hi sunny! you've got too many good ideas so 😌💖

✨✨✨💌💌💌💔💔💔🌈🌈🌈🫀🫀🫀🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

abigail! i am at war (the er) and im dying (my stomach hurts so bad). just thought you should know.

✨- He’s not sure what he’s expecting when he takes Evan, no jacket and bare feet outside in the rain, but it’s not this. Evan giggles, sticking his tongue out as if to catch raindrops on his tongue before going to jump in a puddle. Deacon’s eyes quickly catch Annie’s surprised ones in the window. He’s not entirely sure what’s happening right now, but he’s not getting in the way of it.

Evan’s curls are matted to his forehead in seconds, and Deacon’s freezing, but he doesn’t dare go inside.

“David?” Evan asks, startling him. Evan talks to Rocker, Hondo, and Luca but never to him and Annie. At least not until now, He reaches for Deacon’s hand. “Come play with me?”

💌- Tommy tries to not think about how late his husband gets home He tries not to think of the liquor smell stuck to his clothing. He tries not to think of the fact that Evan’s so drunk, he’s almost cross-eyed and he can barely stand.

It burns in his gut, his thoughts sitting putrid. He longs to shake him, to demand that he stop all this madness and just go get help. He wants to demand that Evan stop hurting himself but most importantly, stop hurting Tommy.

He wants his home to feel like home. He can’t remember the last time it did.

💔- “What was it like?” Tommy asks, suddenly desperate to know if he’s going to feel like this forever. He knows he probably deserves it but he doesn’t know how much longer he can stand it.

“What was what like?” Evan asks softly, putting down the carrot he was peeling to look at him.

“Losing your brother,” he says. “What was it like?”

“Awful,” Evan laughs bitterly. “It was the single most awful thing that’s ever happened to me. It was… it was Leukemia. His third time. He was first diagnosed when I was born, and he was in remission until I was fifteen. He went in for a routine check up two years ago, and they found growth. They caught it in time, they said, but Danny… Daniel didn’t want to do it anymore. Said he was living on burrowed time. Asked me what kinda bastard gets cancer three times if he’s supposed to live. I begged him to reconsider, to get the treatment, told him I’d do anything he wanted. He looked at me, smiled, and told me to let him go, he was tired. He was gone a year later.”

🌈- It’s three am when he wakes up next. He’s not entirely sure why he’s awake. He’s been pretty good at sleeping through the night, and most of the day, considering a that’s happened. Tommy isn’t in bed. His side of the bed is cold like he was never in it. Buck can’t stop the whimper that leaves his throat when his hand touches the sheet next to it.

“Baby?” he hears Tommy whisper, and the creak of the rocking chair that Tommy’s nonna gave them in the corner. “Evan, are you alright?”

He’s not sure how to answer, the words getting caught around the lump in his throat. He’s not alright. He hasn’t been alright in a long time.

🫀- It’s different now that he knows Officer Nolan is on nights for him. It’s nice to have someone to talk to. And sure, things may get back to Athena this way but there’s no reason they should. Nolan doesn’t even know that Buck is under Sergeant Grant’s husband. To him, he’s just Evan. Between him and Tommy, he’s not sure he’s ever liked being Evan more.

“You seemed to have lost weight kid, you eating alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.”

🔫- “Evan!” He hears his sister. But he doesn’t dare to look up. He put her daughter in danger. She’s never going to forgive him. “Evan! Oh my god! Thank god you’re alright!”

“Maddie-“

“I was so worried when I got the call, Chimney has Jee now. She told us how you protected her, oh Evan-“

“Maddie-“

“And you’re here, safe and sound, and she’s here safe and sound, and it a miracle. Oh, Evan!”

[aaronhotchswife]

THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL

Drew Starkey x Female Reader

Chapter 3

Warnings : alcohol, smut, loss of virginity This is the last chapter of this serie. I hope you'll enjoy it !

chapter 1

chapter 2

"There are many things in life that will catch your eyes, but only a few will catch your heart. Pursue those. " -Michael Nolan

It’s the first time that we’re all since Christmas. Drew is talking to the boys, telling him about how at his parents. We didn’t talk about what happened that day in his bedroom, I just apologized for acting like that and he told me not to worry. We’re just best friends trying to figure life out.

"If that is not Y/N!"

"Oh my god! Hiiii! How are you?" I asked the guy behind me, rising from my seat to hug him. "Guys, this is Oliver. He was my best friend from elementary to high school."

He smiles at them, his arm around my shoulder. When I ask him what he’s doing here, he tells me that his friends picked this bar to celebrate the New Year.

"Do you want a drink? " Olivier asks, pointing over two stools at the bar. I accept, taking his hand and following him. I see the girls looking at me with smiles and playful looks. I laugh softly, just wanting to have a drink with my childhood best friend. My heart belongs to Drew, but these past few days I just want to think about someone else and clear my mind. I’ve been in love with him for a long time now, always thinking about him and how cute and wonderful he is. From the moment we kissed as our characters for the first time to our fight, I keep loving him. But maybe now it’s time to let myself live at little bit, without him.

Drew’s point of view

I see her at the bar, talking with some guy. She’s sipping her cocktail, admiring him. I think Lacia sees the confusion on my face because she taps on my shoulder and explains to me who he is. He looks handsome and I can’t help but be a little jealous of how she looks at him. Especially when his hand finds its way down her back, murmuring something in her ear. It should be me with her like that, and I can’t help but be mad at myself for how things played out.

***

Y/N’s point of view

I’m outside with Oliver, still talking about what is going on in our lives. My phone rings and when I look at it, I see a text from Madelyn wishing me a happy New Year. I didn’t even realize that it was midnight already.

"Happy New Year Oli! "

"Oh! Happy New Year! I wish you everything you wish for. "

I smile before hugging him. It’s good to see him again after having lost touch after high school. When I break his embrace, his lips find mine, kissing me softly. I smile on his lips, my face finding its way on his chest.

"Don’t get shy on my now, " he laughs.

"I’m sorry, I just didn’t except kissing someone tonight. Listen, I just probably go check on my friends, they must probably wonder where I went. You have my number so text me whenever you want, " I kiss his cheek goodbye before turning around and entering the bar.

Drew’s point of view

I see her coming back to our table, her lipstick a bit smudged. I don’t need more clues to understand what just happened with her and that man. I look at her, my head filled with memories of the feelings never told and at this moment, I realize that I need to be hers. I would crawl home to her if it was what it took for her to want me.

"You had fun with your friend?" I ask.

"I did. Thanks for asking…" she responds.

"Yeah, I can see that. "

She looks at me with an awkward smile, before sitting next to Maddie, who is almost sleeping on the table. She wakes her up, telling her that she’ll drive her home since she just had one drink.

"C’mon Mad. Let’s get you home. Drew, are you coming home too? "

I nod, before saying goodbye to everyone. Y/N drove Maddie home before parking her car at our apartment entrance. When she unlocks the door, she throws her heels away, sighing in relief.

"God, my feet are killing me. " She laughs, making her way to her bedroom, exiting it with her towel and pyjamas. "I’ll go in the shower; do you want to watch an episode of Modern Family after? "

"Of course. But I need to take a shower too before. I feel disgusting, " I chuckle.

***

As we’re sitting on the couch, I look at her, not thinking twice before asking about Oliver. She explains to me that he was her best friend and that they kissed. I can feel the anger and the jealousy inside of me but I try to act as nothing.

"He’s cute but he is not my type. I would not have a relationship with him, if it what you’re asking. "

"Maybe it is, " I say. "Maybe it’s because I want you. "¸

"What? "

"I want you, Y/N. I want everything from you. I want you to be able to see yourself through my eyes and to realize how special you are to me. And tonight, when I saw you with him, I realized that I need you in my life more than a best friend. "  

"Drew…"

I suddenly have a feral urge to crash my lips on hers and I can feel she wants the same.

Y/N’s point of view

Drew’s lips are on mine and I can’t explain how it feels at the exact moment. Even if I kissed him for work, it doesn’t feel the same. It feels real. It is real. I can feel him smile against my lips when my hand grabs his hair, giving me a little push to sit on his thighs. One of his hands is on the end of my back and the other one is on my cheek. I can feel his tongue pushing against mine and I let him.  He lays me on the couch, his hand caressing my hair.

"Do you want to go in the bedroom? " He asks me, murmuring in my ear. He doesn’t have to ask me twice before my hand is in his and I bring him to my bedroom. He kisses me until my legs are on the side of the bed, making me fall on it. He’s on top of me, and his mouth is on my neck, giving me butterflies.

"I want you, Drew. Please. "

"Asked like that, it would be my pleasure, " he says chuckling.

His hands make their way to the hem of my shirt, pushing it further, asking for permission to undress me. I nod, watching Drew undress both of us.  Both of our breathing is shallow when he looks at me. I feel shy, being almost naked in front of me. His hand plays with the hem of my panties, his mouth leaving small kisses on my stomach. When he takes off my underwear, I can se his eyes glistening.

"You are so beautiful. Are you sure you want to do this? "

"Yes, Drew, please. "

He kisses me one last time, his fingers playing with my nipples, making them hard. His hand finds its way to my core, murmuring in your ear how wet I am. His fingers play with my folds, before pushing one finger slowly into me, making my breath stops. The palm of his hand rubs softly against my clit, and it that moment I never felt better.

He parts my thighs and he places my feet on his shoulders before placing himself between my thighs. The tip of his nose brushes delicately on top of my clit and his tongue glides slowly in my folds. The moan I do makes him smile against my core and when he looks at me, his face is all wet from my arousal. But now I want to make him feel good. I sit up, my hand taking his boxer off. My breath gets caught when I see how big he is. I tentatively put my hand around him, making up and down movements and with the way his head falls back, I guess I’m doing good.

"Fuck. " He moaned.

"Can I taste you? "

His eyes sparkled the second I ask him, and he replace himself to be comfortable, while I start leaving some small kisses on his cock. His hands grab my hair in a makeshift ponytail, before guiding my head up and down his cock. He stops me just before he could cum, kissing me softly.

"Are you ready? "

"Put your hands on my shoulders and squeeze if it hurts, and tell me if you need me to stop, okay? " He instructed.

I nod, while Drew slowly pushes the tip of his cock in me. He takes a sharp breath as he pushes into me, feeling my walls clenching around him.

"You’re doing really great baby, want me to move? " He says, his voice hoarse.

I agree and with that, it’s not long before Drew’s sweet sounds in my ear and each stroke of him against that perfect little spot make me grip the headboard.

"You feel so fucking good baby, so tight. "

"Drew. "

Drew’s point of view

"Drew. "

The way she says my name and the breathy moan that spills from her lips are too much, pushing me right to the end. I watch her as her head falls back on the pillow and her back arches, and I swear that I never saw something that perfect in my life. I try to catch my breath, while she does the same. I cuddle her, caressing her hair.

"Hey, I love you. "

She smiles at me, and her smile is literally the cutest thing I have ever seen.

"I love you too Drew. "

taglist : @willowalexissss @maybankslover @prentissesredtanktop @conniebabyy @arinadixin @chenslucy @h34rtsformilli @tiaamberxx

[eusuntgratie]

Look. I know you just did tknp but. More?🔀

Nolan’s hiding in his bed desperate for some quiet after meeting his very loud, very exuberant new roommate and every single member of his extended family. Kevin is nice, super nice, and he’s sure they’ll get along great, but moving across the country and starting college was overwhelming enough without becoming immediately adopted by the world’s loudest family all in the same day. Mrs. Hayes had looked a little heartbroken when he’d turned down going to dinner with them, but Kevin had seemed to get it, giving him a smile and bustling his mom out of the room with promises to take him to breakfast in the morning.

He wants to ignore it when a guy from high school that he’s sort of friends with texts him and invites him to a party, but Madison had made him promise to make an effort to meet people here and lectured him about how the easiest way to do that was to just…say yes to things even when he wanted to say no.

He sighs dramatically and texts back, ‘sure man send the address. can I invite my roommate?’

He texts the info over to Kevin just in case he wants to come out after his family crashes and pulls up his phone to see how far he’ll have to walk.

Nolan finally gets to the little house, set just far enough outside of town to make him consider turning back. He’d texted with Maddie most of the way there, though, and he’d promised he’d go, so he would.

He can hear the music, loud and thumping, as soon as he starts down the driveway. Someone’s puking in a bush by the front door and there’s a half undressed couple making out in the yard. He sighs, and forces himself through the door.

He spends a few minutes trying to find someone he knows before giving up and asking around for a beer. He figures he’ll drink one and head back unless Kevin decides to show up.

The song changes to something filthy he vaguely recognizes, and a couple of girls hop up on a counter to dance. Suddenly, a tiny, dark-haired, shirtless man skids into the kitchen in socks and basketball shorts and a backwards hat, singing the lyrics at the top of his lungs. His gaze catches on Nolan, who feels like a bug being pulled steadily toward a bug zapper. The guy sings the words like he’s a stripper Nolan’s paid too much money for, gyrating and jumping around, too confident for anyone to notice that he can’t really dance.

He’s small but he’s built, and he’s tan and he’s beautiful and Nolan freezes once he gets close, not sure what to do with his hands or his mouth. Well, he’s got some ideas, but he doesn’t think leading with those will earn him any new friends.

The song finishes and the guy wraps an arm around Nolan’s neck like they’re old friends.

“You alright, buddy?”

Nolan’s brain cycles through several helpful responses: who the fuck are you?, how are you so hot?, I can see your dick through your shorts, would you like a blowjob?

He swallows hard and just says, “yeah.”

“You want a beer?”

Nolan nods and follows helplessly as the guy drags him out of the kitchen and out a door into the backyard.

It’s sticky and hot outside, but the guy doesn’t move away, stays plastered to Nolan’s side until they find the keg. He digs around for a cup and fills it with foamy, cheap beer, handing it to Nolan with a smile.

“I’m TK.”

“Pat,” he says.

TK grins and slings his arm around his neck again.

“Nice to meet you, Pat. You new here?”

“Yeah.”

“Anybody show you around yet?”

“The house? Or campus?”

“I meant the house. But either, I guess.”

“No.”

“Want me to?”

“You can show me anything you want.”

Nolan swallows and stares at the floor. He’s never forward. He can usually barely string three words together in front of anyone he finds attractive, but this guy’s so hot he can’t seem to help it.

TK’s smiles out of one side of his mouth and tugs on his arm.

“C’mon, baby. I’ve got plenty to show you.”

send me a ship and 🔀 and i'll shuffle my playlist and make an au

[bqstqnbruin]

F is for Friends - part 4

Look, I know it's 4 am, but hear me out: I finally finished this part. Ignore typos because at this point, that's just who I am as a person honestly.

Hope you like it!

Read the other parts here: part 1 // part 2 // part 3

__________________

“You haven’t seen him in how long?” Maddy asks you from the kitchen. You and your roommate were both home on a weekend for the first time in what seemed like forever, taking the opportunity to invite Fran and Lindsey over for a girls day. Nolan always seemed to be the topic of conversation whenever you entered the room, and you had a feeling that he was even when you weren’t there. The girls were overcome with affection for the rosy cheeked, long haired boy next door who was slowly becoming your friend.

Just your friend.

“Not since he came to my classroom last week,” you tell them. “I dropped him off and then got ready for my date with Keelan that night.”

Fran scoffs at the sound of your boyfriend's name, Lindsey rolling her eyes. “Oh, god,” Maddy groans.

“What?” you whine, dreading where this conversation was going.

“I’m trying to block that night from my memory. Especially considering you didn’t remember that I was home that night,” she says, handing Fran and Lindsey the water they had asked for.

“We weren’t that bad,” you tell her, the heat rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment anyway. You two had went back to your place after the date, not hesitating to polish off the two open bottles of wine that were in your fridge, also not hesitating to have sex as would most couples who want to do that sort of thing.

“Yes, you were. Hearing you and Keelan fuck is like listening to a poorly written PG-13 makeout session audio clip from Riverdale,” she lets out, Fran spitting her water as Lindsey starts choking on hers.

Your mouth hangs open as you try to comprehend what she just said. “Ok, one, rude. Two, why is that the comparison you make? And three, why were you listening?”

Maddy scoffs, “As if the walls weren’t so thin that Nolan and Kevin could hear you playing music in the first place. Anyway, whatever it was you were doing in there I’m pretty sure it would end up in Riverdale.”

“I need you to stop watching Riverdale,” you say, straightfaced to your roommate, “and stop comparing it to my sex life!”

“Oh! I have an idea!” Fran squeals, changing the subject.

“Oh, no,” you groan, knowing that whatever she was about to suggest was going to end poorly for at least one of you.

She rolls her eyes, getting up and going over to your window. Your car was parked right next to Kevin's, an indication that the boys were home. “What if we went out tonight and asked Kevin and Nolan to come?”

You can’t help but glare at her, knowing what her tactics were: if you and Nolan went out and got drunk together, her mind believed that you would reveal whatever feelings she thought you had for each other. Everything would come out in a drunken confession that you would have to deal with in the morning. “We’re not going out tonight.”

Fran drags you from the chair you were comfortably sitting in, Lindsey and Maddy following as the four of your run out your door. You were facing Nolan and Kevin’s, Fran knocking wildly on the wood before pushing you to the front of the group.

Nolan hears someone at the door, interrupting the workout he was doing solely to keep himself busy. He could hear voices on the other side of the door, indicating that he probably should grab a shirt to put on, reaching for the nearest towel he could find instead. “Hey,” he says, seeing you, Maddy, Fran and Lindsey all standing at his door, your mouths hanging open. He could feel his cheeks turning more pink at the thought of all of you seeing him without a shirt, even though he knew you had before.

You, on the other hand, were trying to figure out what to say, coming up short at the sight of Nolan’s abs, sweat making his body shine and leaving you to admire it longer than you needed to be. “I,” you start, forgetting why you were standing in front of your shirtless neighbor in the first place, “have no idea why we’re here.”

“We’re going out tonight,” Fran starts, pushing you out of the way, “and were wondering if you and Kevin and any of the guys wanted to join us.”

Nolan wasn’t focusing on what Fran was saying, he was too busy trying not to read too much into your flustered reaction, paying more attention to how your eyes traced his body. “Yeah, sure,” he shrugs, not taking his eyes off you. He sees your expression change, a nervous look on your face as you shook your head at him. “Uh, actually, we, um,” he tries to retract.

“Perfect!” Lindsey practically screams, Nolan visibly shaken by her outburst. “Y/N will text you the details!”

Before you or him could protest, the four of you are running back to your place, you looking over your shoulder at Nolan, an apologetic look on his face.

Why didn’t you want him to go out with you guys tonight? That was the first time he had seen you since he went to your classroom. He didn’t know if you were avoiding him or if you were just busy, but either way, he wanted to see you tonight.

“Ok, girl, if you don’t want Nolan, can I have him?” Fran drools once the four of you are back in your apartment. “God, he is so hot.”

“I, uh, I don’t care,” you tell her. What or who Nolan did was not your problem. “If he wants to and you want to, then go for it, what’s stopping you?”

She looks at you, a smirk covering her face. “You.”

You scowl at her, not unaware of the shocked looks on Maddy and Lindsey’s faces. “Oh, really?”

“You clearly like him. You’ve liked him since the day he knocked on your door.”

“I’m in love with Keelan. I have been in love with Keelan for a couple of years now, if you remember. Just because you hate him for whatever stupid reason, doesn’t mean that I do,” you tell her, walking away to your room. You didn’t have to deal with this. She wasn’t one of your students where you had to settle whatever conflict was coming up between you.

“Your boyfriend is a jerk, come on,” she says, following you.

You whip around to face her, catching her off guard as she takes a step back when she sees the anger in your face. “How has he really been a jerk to you? Because, from what I remember, he was the only one on the guy's team who stood by you guys when the athletic director wouldn’t help fund your trip to that regatta in England while they were fully funding the boy's trips to Boston and the IRAs and a trip to California for a training session with someone from Team USA. He’s the one who tutored you for the entirety of our junior year for free so you wouldn’t fail your class and wouldn’t lose your scholarship or your place on the team, and did the same for Lindsey. He’s the one who literally gave us the key to his family's beach house down the shore the last three summers in a row because he wanted to make sure that we took a break and didn’t get burned out. But you’re right, Fran, he is a jerk.”

“Come on, Y/N-” she starts.

“No. Stop,” you tell her. “I’m sick of you guys being absolute bitches about Keelan when he has never done anything to warrant this besides be on the crew team. If you want to go out with Nolan, and he wants to go out with you, then be my guest. I’m happy with my jerk.”

She stands there, stunned by your outburst, Lindsey and Maddy trying to comprehend what just happened themselves when you slam your bedroom door, locking yourself in your room until it was time to leave.

Your phone buzzes as you throw yourself onto your bed, thinking it would be one of the girls asking you to come out of your room.

Nolan: Do you really want us to come with you guys tonight?

Y/N: I really don’t care. Fran seems to have something planned and wants you guys there.

Nolan: Fran does?

Y/N: Yep.

Nolan shouldn’t be reading too much into this, staring at his phone hoping to see those three bubbles popping up to show that you were going to explain more. What could Francesca have planned? What did that mean?

He gets the details about where you guys were planning on going, forwarding the information about going to Howl to some of his teammates. What could Fran have planned?

You lay on your bed, your phone buzzing with texts from Nolan and Keelan coming in. Anything you felt for Nolan was meaningless. He was your neighbor. He was your friend. Keelan was the guy you were dating. Keelan was the guy you loved.

You start going through your closet, not really wanting to go but knowing that you were going to end up dragged out anyway, flipping through all your teaching clothes as if you thought there was anything in there that was appropriate for a bar and not for school.

You hear a knock on your door, Fran poking her head into your room earning a scoff from you. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m still mad at you,” you respond, not looking at her.

“That’s fair,” she says, plopping herself on your bed next to the pile of clothes that you were forming from your closet. “Does this mean you’re still coming with us?”

“Yeah, you’re paying for drinks.”

“That’s fair, too.” The two of you let silence come between you, you rummaging through your clothes to try to find something to wear while she fiddles with the hem of one of your shirts. “What if you did the black ripped jeans with this shirt?” Fran says, holding up something that you were sure was Maddy’s, probably stolen from her on a night when you were going out without her and buried amongst the rest of your clothes.

“Are you guys going home to change or what are you wearing?” you ask her, both of you pretending like you weren’t mad at her.

“Can I borrow something of yours?”

“Yep.”

She shuffles through your clothes some more, Maddy and Lindsey clamoring around in the kitchen to make something for the four of you to eat before you started drinking, not doing anything to try to be quiet. “You know I love you. I just want you to be with a guy that deserves you.”

You take in a deep breath, finally turning to Fran sitting on your bed. “How do you know that isn’t Keelan? I’ve been happy with him for how many years now?”

“You’ve been together since we were juniors which was, what, five years ago now? Four? Have you two even talked about anything like getting married or starting a family together?”

You think about it, knowing that you’ve seen proposals, you’ve definitely looked at rings, but it was never serious. You’ve watched movies with Keelan where the characters get engaged or get married, try to have a family, all of that, but you never did talk about it. You never thought of a future with him, you only thought of the present.

You shake your head, Fran giving you that sympathetic look that you didn’t want. “If you’ve been together for this long, and he’s not thinking about forever with you, then what’s he thinking of? You can love Keelan, but if he can’t promise to love you back forever, then you’re just wasting time.”

“You think so?” She shakes her head, but you wish she didn’t. “You’re not just saying this because you don’t like him?” you ask.

“I don’t like him because I’m saying this. He’s a good person, but I don’t like seeing you with him when I’m not sure he wants to be with you forever.” Before you can answer, you hear Maddy and Lindsey dropping something from your kitchen, knowing that whatever it was you were going to have to clean up yourself if you ever wanted it clean. “If you want your kitchen safe, I think we need to go out there,” Fran laughs, pulling you up from your bed. “We’ll change after we eat.”

The four of you eat and pre-game, thankful that Lindsey and Fran actually managed to clean up the mess well enough that you didn’t have to worry about it during your night out, Maddy no help even though she was the one who made it.

The boys said they would meet you at the bar, getting to Howl and texting Keelan to let him know where you were. Fran’s words had freaked you out. You knew you didn’t have to text Keelan where you were going, but there was something about the whole ‘if you’ve been together this long, shouldn’t you be talking about forever’ that made you feel like you had to. You and Keelan were happy, but did that mean that you have to be talking about marriage and kids and all that stuff? Was there something wrong with your relationship if you weren’t at this point?

“You look like you’re having a lot of fun,” Nolan’s voice snaps you out of what would turn into you spiraling. “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, signaling to the bartender to get you another drink. “Nothing.”

“Good thing you don’t teach drama because you’re an awful actor,” he laughs, earning a glare from you. “Oh, come on, that was good.”

“Good thing you aren’t a comedian because you aren’t funny,” you fire back, a smile on your face as he laughs with you.

“Come on. What’s wrong? You can tell me anything,” he says, probably a little too flirty. But that’s something a friend would do. A friend would listen to you when you were having problems or when you were feeling down.

You sigh, taking a sip of the new drink in front of you. “Fran said something about Keelan and I that bothered me.” He raises his eyebrows, urging you to tell him more. “Apparently they think I’m wasting my time being with him,” you tell him, looking off to the crowd at the bar, just spacing out with your attention on nothing in particular.

He swallows hard, thankful that you didn’t notice his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down at your words. If you were wasting your time, then that would mean you would break up with Keelan, wouldn’t it? He was thinking too far into this, wasn’t he? “Do you,” he hesitates, clearing his throat to try to cover up his nerves, “do you think you’re wasting your time?”

You shrug, turning your attention back to him. His cheeks were more red than normal, his blushing causing heat to rush to your own cheeks. At least if you broke up with Keelan, you could try with Nolan, right?

No. Because you weren’t breaking up with Keelan. But, “I didn’t. But now, I don’t know.” You set into a rant about what Fran said to you in your room, adding in the fact that Lindsey and Maddy told you they also felt that way, but Lindsey still didn’t like him based on the fact that he was on the crew team and she had decided to hold that petty grudge even though that was a few years ago at this point. “I love him. But we have been together for a while, so why haven’t we even talked about it?”

“Do you see yourself marrying him?”

You stop and think about it. Before you can answer his question, Lindsey and Maddy whisk you away to dance, leaving Nolan at the bar with your drink. He sits and watches you, pretending not to hear the girl who had approached him and tried to have a conversation with him. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but he couldn’t help but focus all his attention on you. He studied you as you moved, the fluid motions in sync with the rhythm of the music, the laughter that escaped your lips when you hear Maddy and Lindsey sing, probably off key, the smile on your face as you joined in with them.

Nolan takes your drink back with him to the table, his teammates sitting there, unsurprisingly not getting up from the corner they had occupied. He doesn’t listen to them as they talk, Kevin and Travis being obnoxious as always. He found you again at the bar, leaning against it and talking to Maddy, Lindsey and Fran nowhere in sight.

“Nolan,” Travis calls to him, finally getting his friend’s attention. “Why are you over here if she’s over there?” he asks, pointing to you.

“Why would I go over there?” he deadpans, not wanting to be reminded that he was falling for you, hard and fast when he shouldn’t be.

“You’re in love with her and you want to be with her?” he states as if it were obvious, Nolan glaring at him while his teammates nodding. Nolan wasn’t that discrete when it came to his feelings about you to any of the guys, apparently. With you, he was sure you had no idea, but with them, they could read him like a book, something he hated at this moment.

Before he could answer, Keelan appears, as if by magic, his arms wrapped around you from behind. Nolan could see you tense up for a moment, not knowing who it was. You look down at your waist, a smile on your face as you come to realize it was your boyfriend, Nolan wanting nothing more than for him to be the one surprising you and holding you like that.

“Is that the boyfriend?” Oskar asks, right as you squeal in delight that he had come to see you, kissing him, your one hand on his shoulder, the other at the back of his neck, fingers intertwined with the curls there.

“Yep,” Nolan lets out, burying his face in his hands.

“He’s pretty hot,” Travis lets out, Kevin smacking him in the chest.

“Then you date him,” Kevin chirps, Nolan not wanting to say anything else to them.

“Karly might have something to say about that.”

Nolan tunes out the boys, their banter something he wanted nothing to do with, probably about him fawning over you while you were there, Keelan’s hands on you as the two of you danced, your foreheads touching and not taking your eyes off each other. If you were worried about the future, it didn’t show, enjoying the moment that was happening in front of you.

“Hey, come dance with me,” Fran snaps Nolan away from you, her hand extended to Nolan.

“Sure, why not,” Nolan mumbles, trying to be excited about dancing with your best friend, ignoring the guys hollers as they watched their friend get up with a girl, actually saying yes to someone who approached him.

The two of them start talking, falling into a weirdly easy conversation. People started gathering on the dance floor, pushing the two of them together, Nolan’s hand finding Fran’s back, pulling her closer to him. For the first time since he met you, he wasn’t thinking about you. He didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol, but Fran was right there, single, beautiful, funny. You had mentioned that going out with the guys was Fran’s idea, so did that mean Fran wanted Nolan for her? Should he be focusing his attention on someone who didn’t have a seemingly serious boyfriend? Probably.

You and Keelan get interrupted by Maddy and Lindsey, finally prying Keelan’s body off you. “Have you seen Fran?” Lindsey yells over the music.

“Not for a while, no,” you tell her, Keelan’s arms wrapping around you, both of you still moving with the music.

Maddy cranes her neck, trying to see over the crowd. You see her eyes go wide, grabbing Lindsey’s arm to show her what she was seeing. You follow their gaze, finding Fran and Nolan dancing together, her arms draped on his shoulders, him holding her as close as Keelan had been holding you. Fran kept her word about moving in on Nolan. “Good for her,” you swallow hard, Maddy and Lindsey turning back to you, shocked. “What?” you ask as if nothing were wrong.

Keelan had felt your entire body tense up when you saw Nolan and Fran. It was probably nothing, though. You were just happy for your friend, your body having an involuntary reaction to seeing her with someone you knew instead of a complete stranger like she normally was. He didn’t think anything of it. He didn’t want to think anything of it.

________________________

“You’re still at school? It’s four already,” Keelan’s voice fills your classroom from your phone speaker, the building empty except for the teachers still roaming around.

You sigh, putting down your pen, pushing aside your lesson plan book. “Yeah. It’s parent-teacher conferences tonight, so I’m just staying until those are over. There’s no point in me driving all the way home just to have to drive all the way back.”

“What are you doing for dinner?”

“Ya know,” you start, getting up from your desk to stretch your legs as if you weren’t on your feet all day, “Hadn’t thought about that. I’ll probably just throw together whatever is in the fridge when I get home.”

“Babe, that’s going to be almost nine, you can’t wait that long,” Keelan says, concern in his voice.

You shrug even though you knew he couldn’t see you. “It’s fine, I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“What time is the first conference?” he asks, extraneous noise coming from his end. It sounded like he was getting into his car, starting it up and driving off to whatever it was he had to do, even though you were sure he still had to be at work for another hour.

“Uh, 6, why?”

“Just wondering.” The two of you stay on the phone for a little while longer, talking about anything you felt like until he had to go for whatever reason.

You get back to filling out your plan book, looking through your one from last year and the hundreds of lesson plans you had on your computer, using the time for prep that you were supposed to get during the day, even if you were always called to cover another class or just had other things to do in general.

Someone knocks on your door, praying that you were right to call, “it’s open.”

“Delivery,” Keelan pokes his head in, holding up a bag of what you presumed was food based on the smell. “Still have some time to eat with me?”

“Keel!” you squeal, jumping up from your desk chair to greet him. You pull him into your room, grabbing some paper towels to clean off one of the lab benches quickly so you could eat, not a hundred percent trusting your students to clean up all the chemicals they could potentially spill on the table tops. “What’s this for”?

He starts unpacking the food, handing you a container with your favorite dish from Sabrina’s. “You didn’t sound like you were too sure you had food you could eat, and knowing you and Maddy, you’re probably on the end of food from your last shopping trip. Plus,” he says, leaning closer to you, “this way, I get to have dinner with my girl.” His lips connect to yours, quick and sweet so the two of you could get to eating.

For the first time, you were focused on just Keelan, Nolan not lingering in your thoughts. Keelan was the guy for you, you were sure of it. You were almost sure of it, at least, Fran’s words still swimming around in your mind. “Hey,” you start, finishing the bite of food you took, “Have you ever thought about our future?”

Keelan freezes, confused and probably caught off guard by the question. “Our future?” he repeats, “What do you mean?”

“Like, us. Are you going to be my boyfriend forever, or is anything going to happen?” you start, not sure how to put it otherwise.

He shrugs, focusing on his food. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

Your shoulders drop, wishing that his answer wasn’t the same as yours. “You’ve never thought about us getting married or having kids. Nothing?”

“I never thought of my life without you, but never explicitly thought of marriage, I guess?” You nod, not wanting to look at him in the moment. You had parents coming in less than twenty minutes at this point, wishing that you hadn’t asked him this question now. “Hey,” he says, reaching out and touching your hand. “When I think of the future, I think of you and I being happy together. We don’t need to be married to be that. Do we?”

“I don’t know. It wouldn’t hurt.”

“You want to get married?”

You open and close your mouth like a fish, realizing that Lindsey and Maddy pulling you away from Nolan at Howl was the right thing to do, because you still had no answer a few days later. Before you could tell him you didn’t know anything, Javier comes into your room, Anderson not far behind.

“Have you taught Electrochem yet?” Anderson’s voice booms for no reason, Javier somehow looking both annoyed and panicked at the same time.

“Yeah, last month. Have you taught Electrochem yet?”

“No,” Anderson says. “I thought we were doing it after gas laws.”

“We have never done it after gas laws,” you tell him, getting up from the lab table. “We do it with types of reactions because of half reactions and redox.”

Anderson starts going off about how all three of you are supposed to be on the same page, Javier and Keelan awkwardly just there in your room while you shuffle through your box of papers.

“Anderson, aren’t you the one who put the Galvanic Cell on the midterm? Is this why every single kid of yours got it wrong last year, because you teach it too late?” you say, handing him a packet while his face turns red, “Just take this, Javier and I made it a few years ago and it works.”

“We need to be on the same page from now on,” he tells you before storming out.

“How is it our fault that he doesn’t listen when we say this is what we’re teaching next?” Javier asks, sitting down next to Keelan, putting his face in his hands.

“At least we know why his students do shitty on that page of the midterm.”

“Anderson really is a jerk,” Keelan pipes in. “Didn’t he blame you for grading his students wrong on the midterm last year?” he asks. You had filled Keelan in on how you guys split up the grading since you all gave the same midterm; you had the first four pages, Javier the next four, and Anderson the next three. Anderson’s kids always did awful on the first eight pages, somehow redeeming themselves when he put the grades in.

You nod, the principal coming over the loudspeaker to alert the teachers that the parents were there. “I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe?” you tell Keelan, cleaning up in a hurry.

He says yes, kissing you goodbye and running out the door to go home, probably, Javier lingering behind for a moment. “You two ok?”

“How could you possibly think something was wrong,” you say, slightly sarcastic.

“I can read you like a book.”

“Yeah, well, I guess there should be a book club,” you groan. “Nolan says the same thing.”

“Tell me fast,” he says, both of you standing outside your doors to greet parents and try to direct them around the school in the event that they were lost, something that was very easy to do if you weren’t in the building every day.

“Fran said something about how Keel and I haven’t talked about our future together and we just talked about it,” you say, praying that the parents passing you by weren’t that focused on your conversation and instead were looking at the numbers on the doors.

“And what does that future look like?”

“The same as the present.”

“You could always go for Nolan,” he jokes, throwing his hands up in defense. “I’m kidding.” He leaves, one of his student’s parents showing up at his door.

You were waiting for Darren’s mom, Mrs. Alexander a few minutes late. “Ms. Y/L/N!” you hear someone yelling, a woman who looked just like Darren trying to sprint down the halls. “I’m sorry I’m late! I got lost!”

“Don’t worry about it,” you chuckle, the contrast between Darren’s shyness and his mother’s lack thereof somehow not surprising. “Come on in.”

The two of you sit at one of the lab benches, pulling out your notebook and pen. “Darren has made some great improvements this semester, this month especially,” you start, handing her a print out of his grades. “Grade-wise, he’s one of my top students. He’s smart, he knows what’s going on, I have no worry about how he’s going to do on the upcoming midterm.”

“That’s so good to hear,” she says, her finger running along the sheet that displayed A after A on it.

“And he’s talking with Sydney when we do labs, especially since we had some of the Flyers come in the class and work with them. Something Nolan Patrick did really stuck with him.”

She smiles, taking in a deep breath, “That would make this the only class he talks in.”

“Well, progress is progress. One class is better than none, talking with one classmate is better than no one.” She looks down at the paper, trying to force herself to be happy. “Mrs. Alexander. Darren is a great kid. He’s not the most talkative, but he’s getting there. I don’t want to force him to talk if it’s not something he’s comfortable with, but anything you want me to do, you know I’ll do it.”

“He likes to draw,” she says, starting to shuffle through her bag. “He loves talking about his drawings, too.”

“So do you think if I had him draw more in class, work that into my lessons for him, that he would be more open to talking?”

“He might. It’s worth a try if you can,” she say, slipping a piece of paper across the desk. It was a self portrait of him, your classroom in the background. Nolan was sitting next to him, doing the experiment from the other week. “He came home that day, went to his room, drew this, and then told me in detail about class. I’ve never seen him so excited about this before.”

You stare at the detail of the drawing in awe, from the dimples on Darren, the bubbles in the Erlenmeyer while it was heating, right down to Nolan’s rosy cheeks. “This is incredible.”

“He wanted me to have you give it to Nolan, if you could.”

The principal comes over the speakers again to have parents move to the next class they were going to, you now waiting for one of your CP student’s parents to arrive. “I will. Thank you, Mrs. Alexander”

Both of you get up from the table, walking over to the door. “No, thank you, Ms. Y/L/N.”

The rest of the parent-teacher conferences go by in a blur, you not focusing on anything other than the memory of Nolan and Darren working together. You did secretly love parent-teacher conferences, as late as they were, because it helped you get to know the student’s family background just a little bit more. A teacher is only good if they know their students, a student will only trust their teacher if they know them. You lived by that statement.

By the end of the night, you were exhausted, wanting nothing more than to change into a pair of sweats and curl up in bed until you passed out for the night. You were about to call Nolan to ask him if you could stop by for a minute to give him the picture Darren drew of him when Lindsey’s name popped up instead. “Hey, Linds, I’m driving home from school,” you preface as you start your car, “What’s up?”

“Mind if I stop by and hang out for a bit?” she asks, you hearing Fran yell something you couldn’t make out in the background.

“Sure. Maddy’s home, too, tonight, I think. So if I pass out, you’ll still have her unless she also passes out.”

You didn’t think anything of it, pulling up to your apartment as Lindsey did, too, Fran stepping out of the car and before you could.

“Hey,” you call to her, watching Fran run over to Nolan and Kevin’s door, a dress and heels on, her hair and makeup done perfectly. “Where’s she going?”

"Uh," Lindsey stammers, not sure what to tell you. "A date."

Before you can question it, Nolan opens the door, kissing Fran, taking her hand and leading her over to his car. You stood there, frozen, surprised that Fran had gone further than she did at Howl the other night, watching as Nolan and Fran drive away to go out on a date.

[eelistolvanen]

Bruises that you left behind - Travis Konecny Finale

A/N: HERE IT IS!! Finally got around to finish off the last parts. This chapter is a bit longer but hopefully you like it. Thanks to everyone who read this series, I honestly never thought I would be able to publish a nearly 20k long fic. So thank you for reading, liking, reblogging or sommenting on it. <3

Words: 5k

Warnings: Angst, no proofread (as usual), don’t know what else

Links to the previous parts:

Part 1       Part 2         Part 3       Part 4     

_____________________________________________________

“Have you looked at the teams that could draft you?” Your voice was quiet, soft. You weren’t entirely sure if this was crossing the line or not, since you knew that he didn’t want to think about the draft to much. But you couldn’t stop yourself.

“No, Y/N. It’s not in my hands anyway.“

“Well I did. And I think-“ “ Don’t Y/N. I could literally go to any team.”

“But some are more likely and some seem nicer than others…” You could hear him let out a deep sigh, letting you know that he gave in. “ Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, I mean Ottawa would be perfect. You already play here and I’ve almost gotten used to this city. Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg are around there as well. There not as close as Ottawa but still Canada. Maybe there’s some other smaller cities…”

“Y/N, there are no real small cities. And you can barely tolerate Ottawa and it’s one of the smaller ones… Detroit’s close and-“

“But it’s so industrial and dark and… I don’t know, Travis. I just… What if it’s somewhere far away?”

“You’ll come with me… I’m not leaving you behind and I know you don’t like cities and would rather live here on the farm but I can’t change it.”

You let out a deep breath. “Travis, I just.. I want to come with you, I do. But I’m not made for a big city. I love my friends, my family, everything we’ve got here. And dragging me into some big city far away, feels a lot like locking me up in a cage. And you know how much I value freedom.”

“But you’ll make new friends, and you’ll warm up to living in a city, just like you did with Ottawa. WE can do this, we’re going to be just fine, okay?”

When you looked into his eyes you could see how sure he was of this, so you slowly exhaled.

“Okay. But promise me that you’re not gonna do this to me. If it’s someplace too big or to constricting for me, you won’t keep me locked in a cage. Promise me you won’t clip my wings.”

He gave you a soft smile and slowly caressed your face before his expression turned serious.

“I promise I won’t do this to you.”

 You were struggling to breath, trying to gasp for air.

“No, no no no. This is not…” You didn’t really know where you were going with this. Your heart was aching more than it had in a while. The things was he was right. You could almost hear 17 year old Travis saying it. He had promised you. He had promised you to not constrict you, promised you to not take you into some big dark city. How you hated cities. Or at least used to hate them.

He meant to do the right thing, at the wrong time. And how wrong he had been…

“I didn’t want you to have this life, you deserved someone better. Someone who is there for you all the time. Someone who doesn’t spent most of his time on the road while you are left behind in some apartment, some city that you hate. Before I was drafted I promised you I would never do this to you. Lock you in a cage, clip your wings as you said. You hated the city, you hated the thought of being away from your family and friends. You loved being outside, being in nature. Port Stanley, the lake, the farm. This life here is everything you hate. And I would not put you through this, no matter how much I loved you.”

This felt like a dagger straight through your heart. You really couldn’t imagine yourself living that life back then.

“I moved here for you, Travis. Because I loved you. And…” He took the words straight out of your mouth.

“That’s what I mean, Y/N. I didn’t want you to give up your dream life just for me. Can’t you see that?

“Hah…” your laugh sounded bitter, almost cruel. “How couldn’t you see how happy I was? I wanted that life Travis! You didn’t do this to me. I choose to come to Philly Travis! I made the final decisions. Because I loved you. Because it was worth it to me. But do you know what you really did? You left me! On our wedding day. And I tried to come after you but you already left. And I waited and waited and waited in our house. The house we were supposed to grown old together. Spend our time in the off season. Raise our kids.”

You paused trying to get some air in, now you felt like you were being constricted. Travis’ hand moved towards you, he tried to reach out to you but you pulled back. Took a step back, trying to get some more space between the two of you. You took a deep breath.

“But then Nolan told me where you were and that you wouldn’t come back. You never came back! So when Nolan left I burned the letter and started packing everything up. By midnight of that day I was gone.”  

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Don’t! Sorry just doesn’t cut it.”

There were many moments were you felt broken, shattered in the last few years. But were have you felt this low. And little. And humiliated. You felt like the invisible hand around your neck had tightened. You needed to get out of here.

“I..  can’t do this, Trav. I need… time.” You barely got those words over your lips. You could see that Travis wanted to say something, reach out to you in any way. But he didn’t. He knew better than that. So he watched you get in your car and drive off into the distance. Probably trying to put as much space as possible in between the two of you.  

---------------

You threw yourself into work after that. Week after week. Occasionally meeting up with the girls or some of the guys on the team. You knew better this time than to push Nolan out of your life. You started to help Maddie with the wedding planning, even if you felt a little tug in your heart everytime you did. You felt like you were starting to get your life back a bit. Piece by piece.

It was a Sunday afternoon in late March when you felt a sudden urge to clean your apartment. You went through the kitchen, the living room and were just about starting in your room when your eyes fell onto a drawer in your room. And suddenly you felt like you knew exactly what you had to do. You felt pretty erratic and your mind was racing.

Within 20 minutes you were sitting your car in front of a building halfway through town. And for the next 10 minutes you contemplated whether this was actually the right thing to do. Was this really what you wanted? Should you really go through with it? But you were already here, so you exited the car.

Only when you walked through the lobby you realised that you weren’t sue how to get to his apartment. He wasn’t living in the same building anymore, then you used to live in. The receptionist probably wouldn’t just let you in and you didn’t really felt like explaining your situation to the receptionist.

So instead you exited the building and made your way back to the car. You needed to talk to him, now. Before you run again.

You didn’t have his number either so you texted Nolan to text Travis to come outside. You felt pretty weird, almost like some stalker waiting in front of a building until the person left the building or so. Thankfully, it didn’t take Nolan very long to respond and telling you that he texted Travis. He also mentioned that Travis hadn’t read the text yet.

You were still staring at you phone waiting for Nolan to update you when he exited the building and walked towards you. His steps were cautious and he seemed pretty tired. When he finally was a few steps away you felt your mind catch up.

“Uhh, I was just in the neighbourhood…” What a dumb thing to say, Y/N; you thought. He knew this was a lie. You were never in this area of town. But Travis seemed more confused than anything.

“Ah, yeah okay… What’s going on?” He seemed more nervous than usual. His confidence seemed non existent at this moment. He looked like a deer in the headlights. Well, you came to him so you might as well say what you came here for.

“I thought a lot about us after that conversation, Travis.” He looked guilty at the mention of your last conversation.

“You know, the reason why I burned that letter that day was because I thought that no matter what the reason was, it wouldn’t matter. Because in the end you left me. Yes, I wanted to know the reason why you did it. But it doesn’t change anything. No reason truly justifies what you did to me. Or makes up for all the pain. It just gives me clearance. You know even with that good intention, I just don’t understand why you didn’t ever talk to me about it. We were 17 when we made that promise and I don’t think we ever brought it up again.”

Travis was shaking his head desperately, you were pretty sure he knew where this was going.

“Please don’t, Y/N. Please…” But he knew he was losing this game.

“We’re not the Y/N and Travis that we once were. Not anymore. And we never will be, Travis. Believe me I want nothing more than to go back to that time. To that couple that we used to be. But this is never going to happen Travis and we both have to accept that.”

“You don’t know that, I mean you can’t just give up. I can’t do this without you.”

“You gave up on us a long time ago. And yes, you can. You’ve done it before. Just this time, I’m going to be the one who walks away.”

“Y/N…”

You stepped towards and took his hands in yours as you leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheeks. As you pulled away you placed something into his palms.

“Goodbye, Travis”

You stepped back towards your car as he looked down at his hands.

The little velvet box with your engagement ring.

And he knew that this was it.

Game over.

 ------------------------------------

The rest of the school year passed quickly and soon summer came around. You had been so busy teaching and helping Maddie with the wedding, time had flown by quickly. You hadn’t seen Travis again and you felt yourself heal again. You knew that there would always be a piece of you that would never be over him. A little piece of your heart would belong to him. But slowly you came to terms with the fact the the rest of your heart wouldn’t.

It was mid July now and Maddie’s wedding was finally here. You had been busy all weekend and you finally felt yourself able to relax as you were sitting in a chair getting your make up done.

“He’s gonna be here. He’s invited.” Maddie glanced over her shoulder towards you as her hairstylist send her a glare for moving around.

“I know Maddie, I’ll be fine.” You weren’t sure if that was actually true but at least you could try to make yourself believe that. Maddie didn’t comment on that but you were sure that she wasn’t really believing you.

The ceremony was drawing closer as you helped with Maddie’s dress and later slipped into your dress as well.

Eventually there was a knock on the door from Kevin, who was picking you up to walk you downstairs to the ceremony. He offered to be your date. He was one of the only single guys that you knew and you were sure that I wouldn’t hurt to have him by your side.

“Ahh, of you’re you look absolutely beautiful.” He gave you a beaming smile as he escorted you to the down the stairs and outside.

“You look sharp too, Kev. A real suit guy.” You winked at him as his booming laugh shook his body.

“Okay, calm down with that roasting.” He wasn’t really serious though, he loved when you chirped him.

“When your big day coming anyway? Ever gonna settle down?” Your eyes glinted, you knew how much he wanted to get married and have kids.

He just scoffed before replying,

“Yeah, yeah. One day I will find the right girl, you just wait.”

You started to mix with other guest as more people were drawing in, since the ceremony was coming closer. You spoke to some of the guys, found Nolan and Kelsey before going of to the side the catch some air.

You overlooked the seats and the aisle leading towards a little podium and you felt that heartache again. You just couldn’t quiet shake that wedding sadness. You were lost in thought when you felt someone approaching.  

You knew it was him behind you before you even turned around. The two of you had seemingly always had that. That special connection. That buzzing feeling you would get if he was close to you. The way you would always find each other in a crowded room. Like two magnets pulling towards each other.

And knowing that you would never get that with anyone else, ever, made your heart feel heavy. Travis had always been the one for you and no matter how hard you tried nobody could ever take his spot. You could love someone, yes. You could even see yourself spend your life with someone. But this person could never be him. They would never be able to make you feel what he did. You could never get that special connection, that buzzing feeling with anyone else, ever.

“I’m sure you’ve already been told but… You look stunning, Y/N!” He stepped beside you while you turned to face him. He was dressed in your favourite navy suit and a crisp white dress shirt. He wasn’t wearing a tie, the top buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned instead. He gave you a shy smile. One that told you that he wasn’t entirely sure whether he just stepped over a line or not.

“Thank you. You don’t look to bad yourself, Travis.” An you meant it. He did look good. Better than he had in months. The bags under his eyes had disappeared, he looked younger now. More like his actual age. And there was a glint in his eyes. The sparkle that you used to love so much.

He stayed silent for a bit. You could see he was deep in thought, somewhere else even though physically he was beside you.  Just when you got used to the silence between you two, he spoke up again.

“You were right. We’re not the same people we once were. And we never will be. We will never be the Y/N and Travis we once were. And we will never be the couple we were then. People change and people grow. You’re not the same person at 20 than you were at 17. And you’re not the same person now than what you were at 20. And I just know that the person that I am now loves you just as much as the person I was at 20. Or the boy I was at 17. And I know that I will still love you when I’m 40. Or 70. I will never stop loving you, Y/N.”

He took a deep breath, trying to sort the words that were swirling around in his head into a sentence. His little speech left you breathless. You were sure he had been thinking about this for weeks. And he was right, people do change and people grow. But that doesn’t always mean that people grow in the same direction.

“I’ve always wanted this, you know?” He was gesturing around him. “Since I met you I knew that you were the one for me. That you were the one I was going to marry one day. You were the person I wanted to have kids with. I wanted this life for us so bad, I lost sight of us. I lost myself and the person I used to be. And when I realised that I felt like I had already pushed you into it. So I did the only thing I knew. I ran.”

Your heart felt heavy and looking at him wasn’t helping. He wasn’t looking at you, his eyes were trained on the ground but you could see the glazing over his eyes. He was close to tears and this truly hit home to you.

He had told you so many times that he didn’t intent to hurt you but you never believed him, how could you? But now you understood that he truly thought it was the only way. That he had already pushed you too far into the cage to retrack what he had done. That the only way to keep you from losing your freedom was to let you go. To leave the cage open and walk away.

He got it all wrong though. Because you didn’t feel like he was putting you in a cage or clipping your wings.

“I wanted to marry you, Travis. You weren’t pressuring me into it.” He had to know that, the last thing you wanted was for him to carry that guilt around.

He finally turned his gaze towards you and looked you in the eyes. His lips were pressed into a pained line.

“I know. I know that now.” His eyes searched for yours before he slowly took a step towards you.

He brushed a hair out of your face before giving you a quick kiss on your forehead.

“Enjoy the wedding. I might see you later.”  

The gesture was so sweet, so intimate. It felt so domestic, like something he would do everyday. A painful thought crossed your brain then. It felt so domestic because he used to do it everyday.

“You ruined weddings for me.” You didn’t mean to say those words out loud, you weren’t even consciously thinking them and to be honest you thought he was out of earshot already. But he stopped in his track and turned back to you. You didn’t dare to fully turn around, only just looking over your shoulder.

“I’ve ruined a lot of things for you, Y/N. I wish I could undo it.” And with that he vanished into the crowd.

You endured the ceremony. Well maybe that’s a bit harsh. You were happy for Maddie and Provy and the ceremony was incredibly beautiful. But you couldn’t help the bitter taste in your mouth. This should have been Travis and you, 3 years ago.

You let the wedding pass over you, you enjoyed hanging out with the team, catching up with the girls, you even let Kevin drag you to the dance floor.

You tiredly let yourself fall into a chair besides Kevin. You followed his gaze to another table. Travis was sitting there, seemingly without much company. You didn’t know whether he had  a date or not but by the looks of it was he here by himself. Kevin must have noticed that you were looking at Travis.

“If you’re ever going to forgive him and give him another chance, might as well do it now. I know he will wait for you for as long as you want but… you never know how long someone is going to stay in your life. Take it from someone who had both parents go through cancer and nearly lost a leg, okay? Life won’t wait around for you. Don’t let it pass you by.”

With that he rose from his chair beside you. You wanted to make some funny remark about him being all poetic and shit but he had already made his way towards the bar. You followed his advice non the less and made your way towards Travis.

“This seat taken?” He nearly fell off his chair once he realised who asked the question.

“Of course! Uh, I mean, no it’s not taken.” You chuckled at him stumbling over those words. You sat down.

“You seem lonely, no date?” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. Was this to much? Did you step over a line? Travis seemed to relax himself and smiled.

“Ah haha, yeah no date. You came with Kevin?” It was nonchalant but you knew the deeper meaning behind his question.

“Yeah, always better to come with a friend than alone, you know.”

He nodded agreeingly before an uncomfortable silence fell between the two of you.

The songs were a slower than before which meant they weren’t as tiring as before. And before you could stop yourself your suggestion had already crossed your lips.

“Do you wanna dance?”  

An immediate smile spread across Travis’ face. “Yeah, of course. I mean if that’s what you want.”

You laughed quietly and nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that. Just don’t step on my feet.”

“I try my best.”

For a bit the two of you swayed quietly to the music. It was already rather late so there weren’t to may people on the dance floor. The song changed and you let out a dry laugh as you realised what song had come on. Travis must have notice your reaction too.

“What?” He looked confused. “What’s funny.”

“Nothing, just the song.” He stilled and listened to the music. It was a Lewis Capaldi song. And it hit closer to home than you liked.

I've been holding on to hope That you'll come back when you can find some peace 'Cause every word that I've heard spoken Since you left feels like an hollow street

 The song perfectly seemed to portray you and Travis. You felt your emotion dwelling up, as you heard the next verse.

I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side

 You let out a choked laugh. “I wish I could get you off my mind, but I can’t. Part of me will always be yours, Trav.” You gave him small smile before singing that verse again as it was repeated.

“I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind, but I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind. Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side.”

Travis seemed to understand your involvement with the lyrics as he gave you a sad smile.

“I was such a coward. I’m sorry Y/N.” He brushed a tear away that had started to roll down your cheek. “I should have fought for us, instead I gave up on us. I thought that the only way to give you the freedom I promised you, was to let go of you, to leave you. I was too much of a coward to let you fly free, because I thought you’d slip away and then I lost you anyway. I know you wanted to get married too but I should have never put that much pressure on it. I’m truly sorry.”

You leaned you forehead against his as you still slowly moved with the music. The song had changed now.

“I know Trav. I know. Do you think that one day we can be Y/N and Travis again? I mean not the same as we used to but a grown version. Do you think it could work again?”

You could hear Travis holding his breath as he patiently listened to you. His eyes were trained on yours, searching for meaning behind your words.

“Yeah, I think so. If you give me another chance I will prove it to you. Okay?”

You felt your heart speeding up at his words. Take a chance, you thought, before life passes you by. But instead of answering you leaned in and slowly connected your lips with his. The kiss was slow almost shy at first before Travis started to deepen it. Once you broke apart Travis slowly stroked your cheek before murmuring,

“You’re my always, you know that right?”

 Epilogue:

The two of you took it slow afterwards. Both of you needed to get to know each other again, ease into each other again. But it felt right. Being with Travis had always felt right. Once your lease was up you move in with him and you were thankful that he wasn’t living in your old house anymore. As much as you loved your old place that you had together and all the memories that came with it, you needed something else. After all you weren’t the people that you used to be then. And that was a good thing.

He never asked you to marry him. One day a little box with an new engagement ring had just been placed onto your nightstand. Travis only comment to this was that he had already proposed to you and that this time you were calling the shots when you felt ready to marry him. And whenever you felt ready the ring would be there. He let the old engagement ring be made into a pendant since it was to meaningful to your relationship to give it away and to pretty to just let it sit in a box. And now you were wearing one around your finger and one around your neck, close to your heart as Travis liked to say.

And then the day was here. You knew you were ready but that didn’t mean that you weren’t feeling a tiny bit anxious about your wedding day.

Maddie looked over your shoulder and soothingly rubbed your back.

“You’re going to be the most beautiful bride.” She gave you one of her bright smiles.

You quietly laughed. “As if Maddie. You looked like some top model or something at your wedding. But I’ll gladly take second.”

Maddie erupted in laughter while you gave her a sly smile. Her expression turned serious again as she eyed the object in your hands.

“You’re gonna have to tell him eventually, Y/N.”

She was right, of course. And you knew you had to tell him sooner or later. You couldn’t keep it from him forever.

“I’ll go and get you something to drink, some water or something.” Maddie gave you a soft smile before making her way to the door. Just before she closed the door behind her you heard her say:

“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here now…”

You felt like your heart stopped beating for a moment. An unwanted flashback crossed your brain.

The mental picture of Nolan making his way towards you with that cautious expression on his face.

“He’s not coming, Y/N.”  Those words would probably haunt you forever.

Just as you felt yourself starting to panic Travis appeared in the doorway and quickly closed the door behind him.

“Travis?!” You probably looked like you just saw the lochness monster or something. What was he even doing here?

He approached you with a sly smile on his face.

“Hey, babe.” “You’re not supposed to see me before the ceremony..” Your words lacked any kind of force or enthusiasm. And before you knew your soon to be husband had engulfed you in a hug.

“What? Who said that?” His voice was light, almost joking.

“It brings bad luck or misfortune if the groom sees the bride before the ceremony.” Your explanation sounded lame and you were actually happy to see him even if your initial surprise might let him believe otherwise.

He chuckled before giving you a quick kiss on the lips. “Ahh, that sounds pretty stupid. And you can’t blame me for wanting to say good morning to my wife.”

His eyes searched for yours while he gave you his brightest smile. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his antics. Then you remembered the object you’d held in your hands just a few moments before and you got serious again. Now was as good of a moment than ever.

“There’s something I have to tell you.” You felt yourself grow nervous, you knew there was no reason for it but you couldn’t help it.

“Don’t tell me you want to run away this time.” He was joking, a smirk plastered all over his face.

“Travis I’m serious!” At that his smile dropped. Uncertainty crossed his features.

You grabbed the little square paper you had put down moments ago.

“I’m pregnant.” You breathed out while handing him the ultrasound. His eyes nearly popped out of his head while he stared at the picture.

“I.. I … You..” He seemed lost for words and you were almost starting to get worried when he lifted him head up and looked into your eyes. He seemed to explode with happiness.

“I’m going to be a dad? This is not a joke right? We’re having a baby?” You could just nod as he picked you up and spun you around.

“Oh my god, this is the best day of my life.” He nearly knocked his head with yours as he dove in to give you a deep kiss. Once you pulled apart and you found your breath you spoke up.

“Promise me something, Travis. Promise me you won’t run again. Promise me that you’ll fight for us no matter what we face. Don’t ever let me go again, Trav.”

“Never! I promise.”

~ the end ~  

[not-another-hockey-blog]

can you do a nolan patrick blurb to the song friends don’t by maddie and tae?

I love this song so much!!

Nolan was supposed to go out with his buddies, but the second you called and asked him if he wanted to go to a beach bonfire with you and a bunch of other people he immediately called to cancel his previous plans. He picked you up and drove you to the beach, the sound of the waves hitting the shore greeting you as he parked.

You smiled, eyes meeting his briefly as you walked side by side, your hands constantly bumping but neither of you brave enough to make a move on it. The sun was setting on the horizon and the sky was tinged in oranges and pinks, a breathtaking sight. People were already piling wood into the makeshift fire pit and you noticed coolers that were no doubt stocked with beer and other beverages.

As the sky darkened the bonfire was now raging, you and Nolan separating to go and talk to some friends or people you knew, but your eyes were constantly meeting over the warm glow of the fire as it crackled and popped over the conversations. Nolan excused himself to grab 2 waters from a nearby cooler, planning on making his way back over to you to see if you were ready to leave since it was getting late.

“Why don’t you see if y/n needs a ride home?” he heard someone say just behind him and he turned to see two guys smirking, his gaze following theirs and landing directly on you. The way they were looking at you was like predator and prey. He completely forgot about the waters, making a point to walk in front of them. “She already has a ride home.” he practically growled in passing as he made his way over to where you stood and made it a point to block you from the view of the other guys.

“Hey, you ready to go?” you asked him as he took note of your tired eyes and the way you leaned into him for support. He placed his arm around your shoulders, trying to fight the smile that was creeping onto his lips at how natural it felt to have you against him.

He lead you away from the bonfire, playfully hip checking you as you walked though the still warm sand back to his car and nearly tripping when he felt you wrap both of your arms around his torso, your giggles filling the air and he just wished time would stop and he could live in that moment forever. But you guys were just friends and as much as he wanted that to change he was terrified that it would ruin what you already had.

You noticed that Nolan was licking and biting his bottom lip a lot on the drive back to your apartment and you knew from years of being around him that it was something he did as a nervous habit. “You alright over there Nols?” you questioned as you placed a hand over his that was resting on the center console and you felt his arm twitch at the contact.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he broke his gaze from the road to shoot a quick smile your way before refocusing and continuing his assault on his bottom lip. “You’re gonna bruise it.” you replied as you stuck your finger gently into his soft cheek. But to be fair you wanted to bruise it yourself and wanted him to return the favour. You knew there was chemistry between the two of you because you felt it, and you knew that Nolan was trying to hide it.

“I love you too, you know.” you stated bluntly once he had parked and he looked at you shocked which only prompted you to reach over and grab his face in your hands, leaning over the console and placing your lips to his. Nolan was stunned fr a few moments before he turned in his seat and placed his hands on your rib cage, sliding them around to your back and pulling your upper body across the middle of his car and into him.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night.” he murmured against your lips when you both pulled away slightly to catch your breath. “Are you sure about this though? I’m fine being just friends, I don’t want to lose you.” he said suddenly serious, his hand reaching up to where yours was playing with the strands of his hair.

“I want this, I want you. I wanna be able to kiss you and hold your hand whenever I want. Friends don’t do that kind of stuff.” You assured him and felt him relax, his fingers lacing with yours as he brought your palm to his cheek.

“Alright.” he said, a small smile etched on his lips as he kissed your palm.

[writing-realityawayfromreality]

Please Don’t Leave part 4

Your friend met you outside of the apartments when Nolan lived, you looked behind you before running to her car. You wanted to make sure Nolan hadn’t woken up and try to stop you from leaving. 

“Damn Y/N, I thought you were ending it with him...” your friend said the second you got into her car. “what do you...” You  quickly pulled down the visor to use the mirror. There were at least three love bites that you could see without moving your shirt. “It’s over Y/F/N. Now to the airport so I can make it back home on time for my interview.” You said. 

It didn’t take that long to reach the airport seeing as though Nolan’s place wasn’t that far away from it. Almost  missing the flight thought because of traffic, you jumped out of your friends car “Let  me know when you get home. I’ll have to plan a visit sometime soon since I barely got to spend time with you this summer.” “I will. Thank you again.” You said shutting the car door and running into the airport. 

You turned your phone off before boarding the plane. You didn’t want any distractions, you wanted this plane ride to just be able to relax and think about everything that has happened this summer between you and Nolan. You closed your eyes trying to get some sleep since you didn’t get much last night. 

You didn’t even notice that the plane ride was over until the person next to you tapped you on the shoulder, You got up smiling thanking them for waking you . You got up grabbing your bag from the overhead you went to walk down the aisle of the plane, all of the sudden you felt really light headed. You ignored it due to he fact that you needed to get home, changed and then head to your interview to figure out where you would be going for med school. 

Nolan’s sister Maddie picked you up. It wasn’t that weird since you were best friends with her before you were friends with Nolan, and the fact that no one had any idea about the fling you and Nolan had. “Hey girlie, how was Philly? How was Nols?” She questioned. “Philly was amazing but i don’t think that I would want to move there, you know... Nolan.... he was very... nice.” You said stuttering. 

You moved to put on your seatbelt but not before Maddie gasped in shock. “Damn Y/N, wild last night with the boys?” You looked at her like she had three heads, that was until she pointed to your neck. You quickly grabbed your neck getting bright red. “Who was it?!? Was it TRAVIS?!?” She questioned, you could tell by the tone of her voice that she was just kidding around. “Funny mads, you know I had never kissed and told.” you said joking back. 

Finally arriving at your house you thanked maddie again, she was about to say something but then her phone started ringing, “It’s Nolan, you wanna let him know you made it home in one piece?” “No, actually, could you not tell him anything, i will call him after the interview.” “Sure, good luck girlie.” she said before you shut the door. 

You entered your house, shutting the door behind you, you slide down the door feeling the tears running your face. How  were you going to face Nolan again. After all you left a stupid note on the pillow.You shook your head, getting yourself off the floor you headed to your room. You had exactly one hour until your interview, you started to get ready until to get that feeling of  light headedness. You sat on your bed, not knowing how you were going to make it to your interview, you began to feel your stomach turn. You pushed the feeling away trying to finish getting ready. 

As you were about to leave you heard your house phone going off, you answered slightly annoyed since it was usually telemarketers calling 

“Hello?” “Hi, Miss, Y/l/n, we are calling to see if we could move your interview to two weeks from now. It has nothing to do with you, we are strongly interested in you coming to our school and joining our program its just, we had some misunderstanding with our scheduler so we need to push your interview, would that be okay with you?” “Yeah, that works even better for me. I am very interested in going to your school so this means a lot, thank you.” 

You grabbed your phone noticing that you hadn’t turned it back on after getting off the plane. You turned it on only to have it blow up with notifications from Nolan. You ignored them all placing your phone on the bedside table you crawled under your covers closing your eyes, you thought that maybe you could sleep off this sickness. 

“Y/N? Are you in here?” you opened your eyes, slightly confused. You looked at your clock to see that it read 1p.m.  “Y/N?” the voice got closer, finally Maddie appeared in your doorway along with aimee.  “Hey, what’s up?” you questioned looking at them. “Nolan said that you weren’t answering your phone and he was concerned.” Aimee said coming to sit on your bed. “Did he say anything else?” you asked moving to get comfortable, groaning in pain. “No...y/n, you have been asleep since yesterday afternoon” Maddie said sitting on your bed next to Aimee. 

You started to get the feeling that you were going to be sick. You got up quickly reaching for your bedside table, you got light headed. Both of Nolan’s sister got up grabbing each of your arms. “Bathroom.” You said. They brought you in placing you in front of the toilet. “Do you want us to call Nolan?” Maddie asked. “No, god no. I’m fine...” both of the girls left you in the bathroom, after a few minutes you finally were able to make it to your feet going back into the bedroom with the girls. 

“You okay?” Aimee asked. “Yeah, I think i caught something. Why don’t you guys go home and I’ll call if I need anything.” You said laying back in your bed. “Okay...” They both said getting up. you could tell that they didn’t want to leave you. You felt yourself falling back asleep, you didn’t know why you were so tired. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nolan reached over to grab where you were laying only to not find you. He rubbed his eyes, sitting up he saw the note. He read it over and over again, finally he reached for his phone dialing your number. “Straight to voicemail...” he mumbled to himself. 

He called Maddie knowing that you would be with her. “Hey  Nols, what’s up?” “Mads, is Y/N with you?” he questioned. “Just dropped her off, why?” she asked. “She won’t answer my calls and...” “Nolan, she has that interview and you know she is worried about that. She said she would call you after. I gotta go i’m heading to practice.” “Alright love you, bye” He said hanging up the phone

a few hours went by, Nolan continued to look at the clock knowing dang well that you should had been done with the interview. Getting worried he tried calling your phone again. No answer. Getting the hint he just headed back to bed. 

He got up to the sound of his alarm going off signaling him to get  up and head to the arena for practice. He reached his stall to be greeted by Travis, “Hey man....” He didn’t say anything to travis besides handing him the note. Travis read it carefully several times. “Dude don’t worry, he clearly loves you. just give her time and space. We have that road game this week so focus on that. I’ll head over to her house the day before the game and see what is up and let you know.” Travis said patting Nolan on the back. Still Nolan was slightly annoyed, taking off the tape from his gear he toss that and the note into the trash. 

“Still no call from Y/n?” Maddie asked.  Nolan had got in the car after practice and quickly dialed Maddie’s number. “No, can you please just go over there and check on her. I’ll be there in  a day since we are on the road trip.” “Sure Nols, I’ll call you to let you know what’s up.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You heard knocking on your door. You look around to see that it was 9 in the morning. You slowly made it to the door. Looking out the peep hole you see that it was not only Nolan’s sisters but Travis too. They must be on the road trip...

You opened the door “Hey guys... What’s up?” you said walking over to the sofa. “You thought you could just leave without saying bye?” Travis asked jokingly. “Sorry Travis, I knew I would see you again.” “Dang y/n you think that you have it warm enough in here?” travis questioned taking off his yellow sweatshirt. “I’m just cold, so fight me.” you said.

“Y’all want something to drink?” You questioned. “Waters?” Maddie said. You nodded and then headed to the kitchen. making your way back to the living room you started to have the feeling of light headedness again. You felt yourself starting the go down. “Y/N?!?” they all yelled. You felt someone catch you. 

“I told you she hasn’t looked good.” Aimee said. “Y/N, I think you need to go see a doctor.” Maddie said. “I’m fine guys. Really.” you said trying to get up , making it to your feet only to lose balance again. 

Travis caught you again, this time he carried you to the sofa laying you down. “Y/n, you need  to see a doctor.” “Okay, I will go tomorrow. Until then Maddie or Aimee or you or all three of you can stay with me. I just kind of wanna go back to sleep.” 

Travis nodded at the girls. Aimee and maddie went to your room to get a few pillows and a blanket, they brought it out to you as well as your laptop and chargers. “We are going to get you some food to make you feel better, like soup and some bread and jelly. ginger ale too, call if you can think of anything else.” Aimee said before heading out the door with Maddie. 

Travis placed the blanket over you and moved your pillows so it would be comfortable before sitting next to you. your sofa was pretty useful in this situation. it was L shaped so Travis sat were he could prop his feet up. You shifted laying your head on his chest like you had done many times before while you were in Philly. Travis had grown to be your best friend out there besides Nolan. 

“So, you wanna tell me what went on between you and patty?” Travis questioned as he wrapped his arms around you and placed his chin on your head. “Trav, where do i start...” You said already feeling the tears forming “I think i messed up Trav, big time.”

[gothsoyl]

┊┊┊⁺ ⁺ DECEMBER CHALLENGE

"A chance to be with you" maddie nolan x reader word count: 1k summary: NOT SPY MADDIE!! you're in love with maddie. maddie is in love with caitlyn. caitlyn doesn't care about maddie.

the late afternoon sun filtered through the bustling streets of piltover, casting a golden hue over the stone buildings. you sat at your desk in the enforcers' headquarters, trying to focus on a stack of reports. ever since the incident with the zaunite uprising, the thin line between duty and personal feelings had become increasingly blurred for you. you could feel the weight of your thoughts pressing heavily on you, particularly one thought: maddie.

maddie.

maddie nolan.

officer nolan?

maddie was everything — strong, passionate, and fiercely dedicated to her role as an enforcer. but lately, you have seen her in a different light. you couldn’t shake the memory of the day you caught her sneaking out of caitlyn's office, her smile lingering in your mind like an echo. the way she moved with that easy grace, the way her ginger hair fell just right, all made your heart ache for something I couldn’t have.

you wouldn't have given it away if you hadn't felt a strange warmth when she talked to you, when she accidentally touched your hand. 

you liked maddie. and to see how she began to get closer to caitlyn.… you knew there was something going on between them. you got the feeling that many of her colleagues knew about it too, but they didn't say anything. 

you've seen the way maddie looks at caitlyn, the way she smiles and constantly tries to be alone with her. but you also saw the way caitlyn addressed her, as if she were just her subordinate and nothing more. 

and that was the most annoying thing.

you’ve been thinking more and more about what if you were in caitlyn's place. you would never look at her like she's just a good fighter. you would follow her with a look full of love, you would smile at her all the time, you would…

you had known Maddie as a colleague, a fearless woman who faced danger head-on. but seeing her with caitlyn, turned your admiration into something deeper. you were jealous. but it was complicated… it was complicated: you were falling for your friend, a friend who was entwined with someone else. with caitlyn, of all people, who didn’t care about her.

"can you cover the west district for me?" a voice says, snapping you from your reverie. it was steb, his expression hurried. "I’ve got to run some errands." 

“yeah, sure,” you respond, given the late afternoon light signaling another long day on the streets. you nod absentmindedly, mentally preparing yourself for the shift ahead. as you gathered your things, your mind wandered back to maddie and caitlyn. again.

as you walk through the dark building to the exit, you notice maddie quietly coming out of caitlyn's office. you immediately feel your heart start pounding. you want to turn around and go the other way, but at the same time you can't miss the chance to talk to maddie.

you feel a weird pull towards her.

“maddy,” you pick up your pace and catch up with her quickly, touching her shoulder to get her attention. the girl immediately flinches and becomes even more tense when her gaze falls on you. it feels as if she wants to escape, but only puts on a polite smile.

“hey… what are you doing here?” she's stealthily trying to straighten her uniform jacket, and you can see how disheveled she looks. you don't even have to wonder what she was doing in caitlyn's office. and it makes you feel so bad that you don't even want to keep up this small talk anymore.

“why do you keep going to her?” you don't have time to think before these bitter words come out of your mouth. maddy looks as surprised as you are at this moment. but there's no point in retreating. 

“i know what's going on between you and caitlyn. I'm not blind,” you take a step towards her, but she doesn't hurry to step back. she looks at you with round eyes, opens her mouth to protest, but closes it without finding the right words, “she doesn't care about you maddy. can't you see that?”

maddy is silent and you notice the echoes of sadness and resentment in her gaze. you know your words were harsh, but you're tired of just watching maddie waste time with someone like that, when you were ready to give her the whole world.

“you don't know anything...” maddy finally says softly and shakes her head, but you interrupt her.

“but I see everything,” you take her hand in a fit of emotion, your fingers gently stroke her knuckles and you try to smile weakly, “and I see how she doesn't care about you. why, maddy? there are so many people around who would kill for a chance to be with you...”

“I love her.”

your face relaxes in surprise and you feel maddie let go of your hand and take a step back. you feel your heart sinking and the sounds around you literally cease to exist. all you hear are her words about “love.” 

you keep trying to replay all the moments with caitlyn and maddie in your cloudy mind, but no matter how hard you try, you don't see any love. 

“do you love yourself?” you try to insist again, but you don't dare to come any closer, “do you really think you deserve this?”

“listen, I appreciate your concern, but I'll figure it out on my own,” maddy runs her fingers through her short ginger hair and adjusts the collar of her white shirt, “I love her. that's it.”

you're both silent for a couple of seconds before she takes a few steps toward the exit, turning her back on you and saying a dry and quiet “good night.”

she leaves, and you stand there, not knowing what to do. it's hurting you, and it's getting even harder to breathe. you want to do something, but you know you're only gonna push maddie away. 

you feel powerless watching the person you love disappear into the darkness.