#madam pomfrey is in the background being exhausted (she loves them)

[birlwrites]

my brain says you have enough wips my heart says lily-centric gen megafic in which she kills voldemort with the help of marlene, dorcas, and professor mcgonagall

[pennyisalesbian]

Barnaben Headcanons

Ben first saw Barnaby during their second year. It was his laugh that caught his attention – how it was loud and big, how it made Professor Flitwick smile even as he shushed the class. It was infectious, and even over the clamor of the great hall, Ben still sometimes heard that laugh drifting from the Slytherin table.

Barnaby first noticed Ben during their third year. He’d undoubtedly passed him in hallways or shared a class with him, of course, but he’d had never had any reason to really notice him, until the day they came face to face. 

It was because of Merula, naturally. She stuck out her foot to trip Ben, which was a trick he really should have been wiser to, but he’d been distracted. He skinned his knees on the floor, his books spilling everywhere, and he scrambled to pick them up while Merula and Ismelda laughed.

“Aw, poor clumsy mudblood,” Merula sneered. “Do you need help picking those up?” 

He didn’t answer, of course; he blinked back stinging tears and hurried to gather everything before they decided to do something worse.

And then someone set the last of his books into his hands, and Ben looked up to meet Barnaby’s eyes.

He ran down the hall a split second later, and he just barely overheard Barnaby’s protests of “But you said he needed help! I was helping!”

After that, nothing changes much for Ben; Barnaby is still his loud self, still in the background during meals and shared classes. The only difference now is that Barnaby is also there when Merula casts a stinging hex on him, or whispers slurs just loud enough for him to hear, or does any of the hundred tiny things that Ben is starting to get used to.

But things change for Barnaby. He starts to see Ben, sitting by himself at the end of the Gryffindor table, in the back of their shared classes, tucked into the shadows whenever Merula passes by—and whenever Barnaby passes by. Nothing changes, exactly. But Ben isn’t invisible anymore.

They officially meet after Barnaby joins their friend group, finally ditching Merula. Ben introduces himself, trying to act as though he doesn’t know him, hasn’t heard his laugh so often he has it memorized. To Barnaby, it’s as though he doesn’t remember all the times Barnaby has stood by while Merula bullies him, so he takes the fresh start, and he introduces himself as a stranger too.

Their friendship is rocky at first. They have few common interests, so there’s no reason for them to spend time together. Occasionally they happen to be in the same place at the same time, and they say hello when they pass each other in the hallways, but it never goes past that.

Until Barnaby nearly trips over a panicking Ben in the hall between classes.

He has never seen anything like this before, and he’s terrified. Ben shakes and shudders, barely breathing and whimpering fragmented pleas that Barnaby can’t make sense of. He doesn’t know what to do, or how to help, but he sits next to Ben anyway. He talks quietly and softly to reassure him, he holds his hands towards Ben without touching him to make sure he knows that he is here, and he waits until he knows that Ben is okay.

Eventually, Ben’s breathing slows. He’s still shaking badly, and he slumps against Barnaby in exhaustion. Barnaby waits longer still, talking gently all the while, until Ben starts to explain.

“It just happens sometimes; I’ll get too worried and it’ll all build up, and then it comes out like this. I already told Madam Pomfrey, and there’s nothing she can do about it except administer one of those draughts of peace to stop an attack once it’s started. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. I try not to rely on that.”

Ben shows Barnaby the artefact room where he hides whenever the panic attacks happen. They skip their next class, Ben dozing against Barnaby’s shoulder while he hums softly.

After that, their interests suddenly start to align. Barnaby asks Ben to tutor him in charms, and Ben requests some extra help in care of magical creatures. Ben walks beside Barnaby whenever he gets the chance – because he’s not going to pass up on that level of protection from Merula’s threats – and Barnaby checks in on him as often as possible, making sure he’s doing all right and finding an excuse to give him a break if he isn’t.

Whenever Ben isn’t doing all right, Barnaby sits with him in the artefact room. They talk, or they sit in silence, or whatever will help Ben most until things are okay again.

Barnaby does his best to catch Ben before he slips too far into his anxiety, but sometimes he can’t get there fast enough. Sometimes there isn’t anything he can do, like when someone drops a jar in potions class and the shattering sound immediately sends Ben into a panic attack, and all that’s left is to get him somewhere quiet as quickly as possible and wait it out.

He waits, as long as he has to, every time. Sometimes it’s a few minutes, and he’s all right afterwards. Sometimes they skip classes for the rest of the day while an exhausted Ben sleeps curled up next to Barnaby, tear tracks still staining his cheeks.

Barnaby doesn’t know how to describe the feelings inside of him when he looks at Ben. They are too big, too complex to name, so he doesn’t. He tucks them away inside of himself to study more, and he runs his fingers through Ben’s hair while he sleeps.

Ben is the first to notice how difficult reading is for Barnaby. Barnaby is not stupid, of that Ben is convinced, and so he doesn’t accept Barnaby’s “I’m too dumb to read” excuses. He enlists Rowan’s help with research, and together they present Barnaby with the possibility that he could be dyslexic.

It’s not a diagnosis, of course. They’d need a doctor for that, and since wizards don’t seem to know anything about dyslexia, it’s pretty much out of the question. But Barnaby, who had never before considered that his trouble with reading could be anything other than innate stupidity, is overjoyed all the same.

(It’s a good excuse to have Ben read to him.)

Ben works up the nerve to talk to Professor McGonagall about it, and she agrees to talk to Dumbledore and Snape about making some changes in Barnaby’s schoolwork assignments and requirements – including more verbal reports and hands-on study with less written essays, while he continues to practice his reading with Ben.

It’s a good start, Ben thinks, and Barnaby rewards him with a crushing hug that drives all the breath from his lungs. When Barnaby steps back, he’s beaming, face flushed with excitement, green eyes sparkling in the sunlight, and he laughs that big, full laugh.

And for some reason, Ben still can’t get any air into his lungs.

They’re not aware of the exact moment they go from being friends to inseparable, but it’s somewhere between Christmas and Easter during their fourth year. At the end of the year, they plan which classes they’ll be taking in the fall, marking out which they’ll be sharing and when their free study periods are to work together in the library.

At the same time, they start talking about their future plans, because O.W.L.s are next year, which means they need to start thinking about it. Barnaby knows he wants to do something with creatures, and Ben agrees of course. A magizoologist, maybe. Charlie wants to work with dragons, Ben tells Barnaby, but Barnaby shakes his head. He likes all of the animals. He can’t pick just one.

Then it’s Ben’s turn, and he freezes up. He’s never thought about the future before, and he doesn’t know what to say. He’s good at charms, okay at arithmancy and history, and not absolutely horrible at care of magical creatures, although that’s mostly thanks to Barnaby. But where does that leave him? Even though it’s been four years since he learned what he was, Ben is still overwhelmed by the wizarding world. There is so much he doesn’t know, and he doesn’t even know what his skills mean.

“It’s okay,” Barnaby promises. “We’ll figure it out.”

That’s how he says it. We. Barnaby and Ben, together. And Ben sits there in the middle of the library, trying to process, trying to unravel the tangle of thoughts and emotions inside of him. Barnaby works on, completely unaware, humming softly to himself, and something shifts inside of Ben.

He blurts it out, all in one breath. “Barnaby-I-think-I’m-in-love-with-you.”

Silence follows, and he rushes to fill it. Maybe not in love, he corrects, in like? He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know what he’s saying, he just knows that Barnaby is his best friends, his favorite person in the world, and he makes him feel safe and wanted and what he wants more than any job is just what he’d said, we’ll figure it out, Barnaby and Ben together to work out whatever went wrong.

The words keep tumbling out – he loves his smile, and the time he spends on his hair, and the way he slings an arm over Ben’s shoulder or taps his hand or touches his knee for emphasis in his regular conversations, the way his eyes unfocus when he’s listening to Ben read and Ben can see that he’s completely lost himself in the words, and his laugh, god, he loves his laugh –

 – and Barnaby listens, watches, until the words run out and Ben stops, shaking slightly, waiting for his reaction.

“You like me,” Barnaby clarifies. Ben nods, breathless. Barnaby feels a hundred things run through him all at once, and he doesn’t quite know what to say.

But then he does, because even after this, nothing has really changed. Ben is still the same Ben, and Barnaby still feels the same way towards him as he had an hour earlier. Now, he just knows it for sure.

“Ben,” Barnaby says, and there’s so many other things he should say first – that he likes him too; he loves his sense of humor, his stubborn loyalty, how even when he’s completely terrified he still puts himself on the line for his friends; he loves his freckles and his reading voice and the way he cuddles against the nearest person whenever he gets drowsy, but doesn’t seem to remember it again after he wakes; how he wishes he could take away everything that has ever hurt him and protect him from the panic attacks that won’t leave him alone – he should say all those things first. But he’s waited too long, and he says this instead.  

“Ben, can I kiss you?”

[slytherin--king-blog]

Invitations (Scar Tissue - Chapter 22)

Summary: (AU)  A few years ago, Draco’s life changed for the worst. Still, he could live with it, he could adapt. But when another werewolf comes in Hogwarts to teach the students, it starts to get dangerous.

Their absences and behavior towards each other raise some eyebrows and Draco is afraid that a curious mind might even end up seeing right through him.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 | playlist | FF.net | AO3

Pairing: Draco MalfoyxHermione Granger, Lucius MalfoyxNarcissa Black Malfoy

Characters: (it’ll be updated every time a new character appears) Werewolf!Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Dobby, unknown werewolf, the man Lucius is meeting (so much information wow), Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Minerva McGonagall, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Albus Dumbeldore, Rubeus Hagrid (mentioned), Pansy Parkinson, Buckbeak (mentioned), Madam Pince, Gregory Goyle (mentioned), Vincent Crabbe (mentioned), Neville Longbottom (mentioned), Madam Pomfrey (mentioned), Dolores Umbridge (mentioned), Fred and George Weasley (mentioned), Sirius Black (mentioned), Luna Lovegood, Sybill Trelawney (mentioned), Ginny Weasley, Percy Weasley, Cornelius Fudge, Alastor Moody (mentioned), Blaise Zabini (mentioned), Theodore Nott (mentioned), Peter Pettigrew (mentioned), James Potter (mentioned), Andromeda Tonks (mentioned), Regulus Black (mentioned), Cygnus Black III (mentioned), Walburga Black (mentioned), Bellatrix Lestrange (mentioned), Rodolphus Lestrange (mentioned), Ted Tonks (mentioned), Druella Black (mentioned),  Abraxas Malfoy (mentionned), Abraxas’ wife (mentioned), Gilderoy Lockhart (mentioned), Viktor Krum.

Word Count: 7,333

Warnings:

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

A/N: I always love to write some lovely Dramione moments. I hope you liked this chapter, you probably know what's coming in the next one. I hope you'll like it too !+ introduction of a new character, yay ! 

Just a reminder about him, guys, I changed his background story; In my story, his father died during the first war and he had been raised by his mother. He is still lonely but he is actually nice and accepting. It's explained in the chapter anyway.

The Werewolves Squad: @prayfordream @carry-on-you-wayward-winchesters​ @shit-happens-bitchachos @oceanblue-and-forestgreen​ @chelsea072498@dracosmanor @lauralikenoone @mad–chill @wolfstar0scorbus @browntown630 @newtismyspiritanimal​ @havingmusicismylifeandworld @dreymain @sonyamd34​ @teamfreewill-girl @hearted-words @hei924​ @broitswinchester @sarahkate1116 @directionerpjab @criticalstardust @06132001pg @claclm @somethingabouttheway @yandere-rat @morettigrg @grangermalfoylovechild @woundedtoaster​

Draco kept telling himself that figuring out what was the first task would mean Hermione would be able to spend more time with him again, but he was all wrong. Once Potter and her had discovered what it was -and that Hermione refused again and again to tell him what it would be-, they spent most of their free time working on... Well, whatever Potter had to learn to get past it. Regardless, he had been somehow touched when she took some time off, two days before the first task to come and see him. He had to turn the next day and again, she didn't want to leave him alone before that. It seemed like it was enough to wipe off all his frustration about her absence. Because she was working hard and still finding time for what was important, to help her friend and to be there to support him. He felt like he had never met someone so selfless and he knew that maybe, he had to work on that part of himself. Maybe he should stop being annoyed by the situation and that he should try to understand and accept that she had to be there for Potter.

But that very thought made him shiver and he focused on his homework again.

Did it really matter if, when they were able to see each other, Hermione had to be mad because of the badges he had created against Harry? Did it really matter if she had threatened to make him eat one of them if he was pulling something like that again? Did it really matter if lately, she was always talking about the tournament, about how worried she was for Potter, about how much he needed all the help he could get?

Sure, they had some things to work out sometimes. Hermione wasn't always approving of his behavior, especially when it was consisting in being mean with other and often younger students, or with her friends, and it was creating a few discussions annoying the both of them but they were managing. It didn't exactly matter, because like she had said, their relationship was worth it. So, he was working hard not to let her see that he was annoyed to hear about Harry. The worst moment had been when he had tried not to laugh too hard when she had told him Potter couldn't get the Summoning Charm right and that he had spent the whole day and night before the task trying to be able to perform it.  The very thought of Potter struggling for so long to master the charm was very amusing, even if Hermione kept saying that he had been working hard and that Draco shouldn't laugh just because he had been able to learn it in class, way before Harry.

But before all those revelations, the task had taken place. And Draco really didn't want to miss it, at the time. He had to turn the night before, so it meant that he hadn't slept all that much. Again, Pansy had come in the hospital to wake him up like he had asked, because he knew that Snape would have refused to do anything about it. Draco knew that his teacher was right and that it was important for him to rest but he didn't care. So, on November twenty-fourth, he joined his friends, trying to hide how exhausted he was. Even Pansy thought it wasn't a good idea but had Draco cared? No, he didn't at all, even less when he discovered they were about to have to get past dragons. The excitation had given him some energy back and he had been able to enjoy the whole thing.

But the aftermath was the hardest part. He didn't have the possibility to rest enough after that. They had too much work and he could only blame himself, he had wanted to see the task too much. This werewolf thing was not going to spoil his fun, not this year. But it was probably going to annoy him, like all the other years.

They were in Transfiguration and he was fighting the urge to sleep. He let out another yawn, getting a glare from Professor McGonagall and he looked away as he leaned a bit on his seat, blinking slowly. Pansy glanced at him, muttering.

"You shouldn't have come see the task, look at you now."

"No way I would have missed that," he said on the same tone, closing his eyes for a few seconds. "Bummer Potter didn't get too badly injured, though," he added and Pansy smirked as she shook her head. At the same time, he could understand his friend. She had spent the week trying to keep him awake most of the time in class, letting him sleep only in History of Magic. It wasn't the first time she had to do this, but it wasn't usually for so long, just for a couple of days following the cycles. That's why he always needed to rest in the hospital the very next day of the full moon but he had been too stubborn to do that. She looked at him again and wondered if he was asleep.

"Draco," she whispered. She glanced at McGonagall and put a hand on his arm, shaking him a little. "Come on, Draco."

"Potter! Weasley! Will you pay attention?" McGonagall suddenly said a bit louder, sounding irritated. Draco jumped a little on his seat, startled as he opened his eyes again. Like the rest of the class, he looked behind him. In the back of the room were Harry and Ron, fighting with fake wands made by the Weasley twins like they had swords between their hands. Ridiculous. And so thought McGonagall, apparently. Draco and Pansy couldn't help but smirk as they looked at their teacher again, and she told the class she had something to announce. As a part of the tournament, the Yule Ball was coming. Eight o'clock on Christmas Day, until midnight. As she kept giving them some warnings about their behavior during the ball, Draco fought the urge to look at Hermione. He couldn't think about asking her to go with him, he couldn't allow himself to imagine them dancing together. Because he knew he couldn't invite her. The bell rang and he stood up with Pansy, swinging his bag on his shoulder.

"Thinking about inviting... Someone to the ball, Draco?" Pansy asked, meeting his eyes. He narrowed them as he perfectly understood what she had meant.

"Don't be silly," he said as he looked at his plate again. The Great Hall was full of students and he didn't feel comfortable about talking about the situation there. He glanced around him, no one was paying attention anyway. Well, Theodore, who was sitting next to Pansy, had glanced at them when he had heard the question but that was it. Then, Draco looked at Crabbe and Goyle and he raised an eyebrow a bit disdainfully. They wouldn't find a date for that special night, clearly, and he didn't want to end up like them and with them all night long. He sighed as he looked at Pansy again. Maybe he could ask her, if he really didn't want to be alone... He glanced at the Gryffindor table, trying to find Hermione. She seemed to be in a better mood since the task. Probably because she was a bit less nervous and because her friends were speaking to each other again. Being around her during that time had been delightful and he couldn't think about talking about the ball with her, he didn't want to ruin anything.

And he soon found out that she was avoiding the subject as much as he was. Two days later, as they were in the Clock Tower, exchanging kisses, they heard some noise outside, just at the entrance of the Tower. The voices were echoing in the high place and they stopped kissing, distinctly hearing a student asking another one to the ball. After that, they had been a bit awkward. They avoided each other's eyes as they let go of each other, Hermione fiddling with the strap of her bag as Draco kept staring at the wall in front of him. They didn't talk about it but the moment had been ruined and they just started to talk about the tournament, Draco laughing a bit nervously before he took Hermione's fingers between his own again.

They stayed like that for a week, determined not to talk about it unless they were forced to. What exactly happened.

It was beginning to be a bit late and almost every student had left the library. Almost every one of them except Hermione, Draco and Krum. Hermione, who had been doing her homework, and Draco, who had to catch up on his own, had spent their Saturday afternoon there. They weren't sitting near each other, even though they were at the same table, because they couldn't at the time they had arrived there. The library had been full of students when Draco had walked in and he had spotted Hermione at their usual table. He sat where he could, a few seats away from her and on the other side of the table. And Krum had just stayed there during the afternoon, sitting at the table behind Draco, facing Hermione, with his usual pile of books next to him. The other serious students and his little fanclub had finally left and they were alone. After a few minutes of silence only broken by the quills on the parchments, Krum stood up. Draco felt great, thinking he was going to be able to have some alone time with Hermione but, surprising them both, the young man stopped near the table, in front of Hermione.

She looked up at him, apparently a bit taken aback, and Draco did the same, staring from his seat. Krum was on his left and Draco didn't even notice the drop of ink leaving his quill to make his parchment dirty.

"Hello," Krum said with his deep voice. Draco wrinkled his nose as he saw that Hermione was too surprised to answer back. "Can I sit?"

"Of course," Hermione said quickly, looking flustered. Draco frowned a little, still staring as Krum sat right in front of Hermione.

"I am Viktor," the guy added uselessly.

"Yeah, I know," Hermione said quietly as she nodded. "I'm Hermione... Congratulations for passing the first task." Krum sort of shrugged as he kept looking at the girl in front of him.

"I... I haff been coming here vor some time but I couldn't vind the courage to come and talk to you," he said and Hermione looked away, her cheeks clearly becoming pink. Draco narrowed his eyes as he gritted his teeth. That was the first time he was really feeling jealousy and he didn't like it. He could feel his heart beating hard in his chest, his cheeks becoming warmer and there was a really weird and unpleasant feeling in his stomach. He didn't really feel good. But he wasn't looking at Krum anymore, he was only staring at Hermione. Also, he was a bit skeptical about that courage thing. He could face a dragon and participate at the Quidditch World Cup but he wasn't able to gather some courage to talk to a girl? Well, she wasn't any girl but... It was only in Draco's opinion, Krum didn't even know her. He wondered if it wasn't just something he was saying to flirt with her and he felt his fingers tightening around his quill. "I vanted to know if you vanted to come to the ball vith me?"

It seemed like this demand was echoing again and again in Draco's head, as the unpleasant feeling kept growing in him. He had almost dropped his quill when Krum had spoken and Hermione had gaped at the Champion, apparently trying to find what she could say. Draco's heart was beating even faster than before as he glanced at Krum again.

It was odd. Krum didn't seem to care. He was coming from a school full of purebloods, they were learning the dark arts... but he didn't seem to mind one second inviting Hermione to the ball. Was it because he didn't know for her parentage or because he couldn't care less?

Even if he had said that he didn't have the courage to talk to her before, asking something like that seemed easy for him. Maybe because he could get any girl he wanted? Maybe because he was sure she was going to say yes? Was she going to say yes?

Draco glanced at her again. She totally had the right to accept and go dance with him.  

After all, he hadn't invited Hermione. He had thought about it a lot but never did. Because it would mean going public. It would mean his friends might abandon him. It would mean everything would change. It would mean she could have problems with her own friends too. He had thought that maybe, he could go with Pansy, because Hermione was pretty, she would find someone to go with and pretend. Or she would... go alone.

In both case, the thought was making Draco angry. Firstly because he didn't want her to go with anyone else but him. And secondly because who would be stupid enough not to invite her anyway?

Apparently, not everyone, since Viktor Krum himself was doing it. She was going to go to the ball with Viktor Krum.

After that, she would forget all about him. She would prefer Krum. Famous Quidditch player, rather good looking bloke, not caring about what the others might think of their relationship.

A human.

A guy who wouldn't have to change every full moon, who wouldn't be a danger for her. Who wouldn't be a danger for himself or others. Who wouldn't have a body full of scars. Who wouldn't fall asleep when spending time with her. Who wouldn't be annoying most of the time before a cycle. Who wouldn't be jealous because he'd know she wouldn't leave him for someone better, because he was better himself. Who would be normal and who she would deserve.

He felt anger rise in him. Against himself and against Krum.

He didn't want to see her clutch on his arm, dance with him, have such a good time with another guy that she would forget about him during an entire evening. He didn't want her to realize that he was better. That she deserved better. Because as selfish as it was, Draco didn't want her to see that he had nothing great to offer. To see that he wasn't someone she should be dating, to see that he wasn't good for her. To realize that she did deserve much, much better. And he couldn't stop himself.

"She's already going with someone," he heard himself say out loud, probably a bit more coldly than he wanted to. And before he could realize what he had done, Hermione and Krum had both turned their heads to look at him. He swallowed as he carefully avoided to meet Hermione's eyes and he looked at Krum instead, who raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, I didn't know you two were... A thing," Krum simply said, clearly surprised too. He had never seen them together in the castle or... at all. Draco finally glanced at Hermione who was just looking totally dumbfounded. She couldn't figure why he would say something like that, so suddenly, without having talked to her about it. Was he suddenly ready? They hadn't talked about the ball, she had figured he would never take her there. She hadn't thought of going with anyone, really, she didn't even think someone would ask her. She had come to terms with the fact that they wouldn't be able to go together, but was Draco thinking that the fact they were dating meant they had to go together? It was impossible, she had clearly seen the way he was acting every time he was hearing about the ball... They would have talked about it...

"Well, we are." He had met Hermione's eyes as he said that. He was still very nervous, he could feel his hands shake a little and he put his quill down before crossing his arms to hide his anxiety. Then, he glanced at Krum again. The guy didn't want to create any problem. The only few times he had spoken with Draco were during the feasts, since he was sitting at his table, and he had been very nice with him. Here, he was cold and seemed really bothered by his presence.

"I really didn't know," Krum said as he stood up again. Draco seemed to finally become aware of the way he had been talking and he straightened a little on his seat, staring at Krum.

"It's nothing, really," Hermione said quickly. "Thank you for inviting me, I'm really... Thank you," she repeated as she gave Viktor a really shy smile. Draco glanced at her, then at Viktor again and he nodded stupidly at Krum, not knowing what to do. He hadn't wanted to be so unpleasant but he hadn't been able to help it. He felt even more bad when Krum said he was hoping they would have a great time and he went to get his books before leaving. Draco kept staring at the bookshelf he had disappeared behind for a few seconds before he turned his head, only to find Hermione staring at him. He didn't say anything, he looked more embarrassed than anything, really.

"What the hell is going on?" She let out, trying to keep whispering not to have Madam Pince throwing them out. "What was that?" Draco shrugged and it didn't seem to please Hermione. He frowned.

"What, were you planning on saying yes?" He asked a bit aggressively, even if he was still whispering. Hermione frowned too but the thing was, she was scary. He gave her a little smile but she kept staring at him. He looked away as he stopped smiling, only to see that his quill had let even more ink on his homework. "Oh, man..."

"Draco, look at me!" Hermione whispered as she got up. He only glanced at her, taking his quill between his fingers. "You can't do that just because you're- you're- jealous!"

"I'm not jealous!" Draco said directly, frowning again. Hermione raised an eyebrow and Draco looked at his parchment again, even more embarrassed.

"What if I had said yes?" Hermione asked. She pursed her lips when she saw that Draco was still determined to stare at his homework. "We didn't exactly said we would go together, did we? Because if we were going there together, we would be seen, I'm pretty sure you realize that, right?" She kept on going, seeing that she wasn't going to have any answer from her boyfriend. He ended up slightly shrugging and she sighed. "You didn't even ask me to go, you just did that because you didn't want me to go with him... You're not going to take me there, are you?"

Again, he stayed silent. He wanted to. He wanted to invite her so bad. After a moment, Hermione walked around the table to come closer, sitting on the chair next to his as she sighed. When she opened her mouth again, Draco finally talked.

"What if I want to be seen with you?" He asked very quietly, Hermione had barely heard him. He was still not looking at her, he was fiddling the quill he had between his fingers as he bit his lip. He then cleared his throat. "What if... What if I've wanted to invite you since... McGonagall talked about the ball?" Finally, he glanced at her. "What if I want to spend the night dancing with you?" He muttered before looking away again. Hermione tried to stop herself from smiling as she tilted her head, feeling her cheeks becoming warmer and her heart skipping a beat. She would never totally understand the way his brain was working, would she? "I'm not jealous," he added, trying to convince himself more than convincing her, "I'm just... You're supposed to go with me, not some- some Champion or whatever..."

"I wasn't going to say yes, Draco," Hermione whispered. Draco couldn't help but turn his head, surprised. Hermione shook her head as she smiled. "I didn't feel like it... It wouldn't have been right, I mean..." She tried to explain as she looked at his hands. She slowly removed the quill he was holding, putting it on the table, before she held one of his hand between hers.

"So... So, you're not mad?" Draco asked as he finally met her eyes.

"Of course I'm not mad, but... I don't feel like you thought this through, did you?" She said with an amused smile. He looked down again, scratching his chin with his free hand as he straightened up.

"Not really... I just... I thought you were going to go with him and... Just... Picturing you with him..." He couldn't tell her the way he had felt, he couldn't tell her he was afraid she would prefer Krum because of what he was. He couldn't. "It just made me mad," he whispered.

"But what you did... You know that if we don't go together, now, he might ask why... Do you realize that?" She asked. She knew that Draco wasn't feeling exactly ready to make their relationship official, and she didn't know if she was either, if she had to be honest.

"What I did was reckless, I can agree with that, but... It doesn't mean that... I-" He stopped himself as he closed his eyes, trying to find his words. It was harder than he thought. He finally cleared his throat again, turning his body on his chair to totally face his girlfriend. "Would you go to the ball with me, Hermione?"

She blinked. Hearing him say her name was so weird. It was making him sound even more serious than he already was. Even if they had been going out for five months, he was still calling her Granger, he always had, it was... natural.

"I'm ready," he said. "At least, I think I am. I'm sure I want to be. And I know that I will never be able to convince myself that I am if I don't make decisions, if I don't force myself to do something about it. I just want to be with you, just you... I don't need those hypocrites around me if they don't like it... You're more important than that. Come to the ball with me, please."

She slowly smiled as she put one hand on his cheek, slowly moving her thumb against it. She wanted to engrave this moment in her memory forever. He looked so honest and kind at that moment, also a bit vulnerable, afraid she would say no. And she thought that he should know better, that he should know she would never refuse.

"Of course I'll go to the ball with you..." She whispered back, still smiling. She saw the relief on his face, and the relaxation of his body as she said those words. She also felt his grip on her hand becoming more tight as he smiled enough for her to see his teeth. "I can't wait, actually." She leaned to kiss him and he moved his free hand on the back of her neck as he kissed her back, his heart beating really fast. He could feel his body shake a little. He was happy, but also really afraid. In less than a month, on the exact day of their six months anniversary, he would reveal his relationship to almost all the school and the very next day, all the school would know. Useless to say, it was scary, knowing what could come out of it. But he had been honest, he didn't need the others from his House to accept his relationship. He was just hoping that Pansy wouldn't mind, she was the only one that mattered.

And actually, he thought that his fear might be something he could work on. What if he was telling Pansy? She was more than aware of his massive crush on Hermione, it's not like she would actually be surprised, right? Right. Right...

During the week-end, they were both working in the Great Hall. Pansy was doing her homework when Draco crossed his arms on the table, resting his head on them.

"Still tired?" Pansy asked without looking at him.

"More bored than anything, really," he said as he stared at her quill. There was almost no one at the table and if they were to speak quietly, no one would hear them. It was the first time since he had invited Hermione that he could finally be more or less alone with her, since Crabbe and Goyle were usually following him around. And Pansy's girl friends seemed to be more interested in... Girl stuff, Draco didn't really know or care. Daphne had stayed next to her for a while but as soon as she was done with her work, she had left the Great Hall too. Draco took his time to glance around the room, seeing that a few students from each houses were either sitting together, either at their respective tables.

"You should use this time either to sleep or to finish your work. Then you could rest," Pansy started to say, still looking at her work. Draco finally turned his head towards her, still on his arms.

"Why don't we talk instead?"

"Because I'm working, genius," Pansy muttered before she leaned a bit, checking something in her book. She seemed to be focused and Draco almost felt bad for disturbing her. Almost.

"So, Pansy, you remember that little, but like... very tiny crush I have on Granger?" He asked and Pansy raised an eyebrow, still writing.

"Oh, yes. Yes, I remember your obsession. Hard to forget." Draco frowned as he looked away, muttering something Pansy couldn't hear. "Be careful..." She muttered, knowing that it was against her, hearing him or not. Draco gave her a smile, even thought she still hadn't even glanced at him.

"Anyway," he said, clearing his throat as he glanced around again. He talked a bit more quietly. "Um... Something happened..." He directly glanced at her quill as she stopped writing. She raised her head for a few seconds, looking in front of her. Then, she turned her head to look at Draco, putting her quill on the table. Again, he smiled as she crossed her legs and joined her hands on the table.

"And what do you mean by something?" She asked with an innocent smile. Draco gave it back to her.

"You're not going to freak out, right?" Pansy took a deep breath before she shook her head. "Alright, because I'm really serious, here," he then said. Pansy narrowed her eyes for a second as they stared at each other and she nodded.

"Alright. Tell me."

"Ok, so... This is not what happened but you should know this first... Because it's a part of what happened and if you don't know that, you'll be lost, and you know, I've been feeling really bad about not telling you but at the same time, you can't really blame me because you're a pretty scary lady and-"

"Draco."

"Well, you know... I'm like... I've been, like, going out with her," he said, whispering the end of his sentence as he straightened up on the bench, looking worried. Pansy didn't say anything, she kept staring at him for a moment before finally speaking. Her voice was steady and she was still talking quietly, not showing any sign of anger or disappointment. It wasn't really reassuring Draco, but still.

"When did that begin?" She asked. Draco cleared his throat as he looked down.

"Almost six months ago..." He finally said, looking like a child who was being scold.

"Six months," Pansy repeated, nodding a little as she looked away. Draco glanced at her.

"Well, not yet... Almost..." Draco said before Pansy glared at him. He looked down again. He had done it. He had told her. He felt like his heart was about to explode and he was feeling definitely too hot in his clothes but at least, he had told her. Now, he was waiting for his sentence.

"Can I know why you didn't tell me about it?" He heard Pansy ask and he glanced at her. He frowned when he saw the expression on her face. She seemed to be a bit hurt. He directly put a hand on her arm.

"Wait, Pansy, I didn't mean... I wanted to tell you... So bad, trust me." She shook her head as she looked away, definitely hurt.

"I thought we were telling each other everything. You've been talking about her for a year and you didn't even tell me that. I can't believe it," she whispered.

"I thought you would be mad at me... I wanted you to... I didn't want to argue with you, last time we did... It was too hard," Draco let out as he looked at the table, ashamed. It was a moment before Pansy spoke again, not looking at him either.

"I can't say I'm pleased with the situation. But I'm not mad at you, you stupid... idiot. It's not like I didn't see it coming," she muttered. When Draco glanced at her again, she looked like she was thinking about all of this, a bit lost. Draco pressed her forearm.

"Does it bother you?" He asked. Pansy shrugged. "Look at me, come on, don't be like that..." Again, it took a moment before Pansy looked at him and met his eyes. He gave her a weird smile, clearly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I really meant to tell you... I just..."

"No, you didn't," she said as she shook her head.

"Pansy-"

"Every time you were leaving to go to the library... Or I don't know where but... Where she was... You two were... And you let me think you guys were just talking, just... friends or something. If you really wanted to tell me, you would have. I must have made a complete fool of myself all this time," she said as she closed her eyes.

"No- It's not like that!" Draco said, trying to get Pansy to look at him again. "I didn't... Mean for you to feel this way, I just- I didn't know if I could tell you... I was afraid..."

"Oh, because after everything, you thought this might shock me in any way?" Pansy asked, frowning. She was right. He should have known. She had accepted so much already. He suddenly felt really bad. She only deserved honesty from him but he had kept lying. "You're unbelievable," she added and Draco looked down. She knew he was a bit messed up, it wasn't big news, but she would have never thought he would have such trust issues. Especially with her. And at the same time, it was explaining a lot of his reactions. The way he had been acting with Lupin during the last year, sometimes appreciating the time spent with him, and then saying that he was probably just pretending. The way he had been hurt every time he was paying a bit less attention to him. The way he had been acting out to the point Hermione had slapped him. Why he was so hurt by Snape, because of that night. It made perfect sense. And at the same time, it was still hurting to see that he was still so afraid of her reaction.

She got it, of course. When she had learnt about him being a werewolf, she had also been able to see how afraid he had been as soon as they had started to talk about it. She had been really shocked, hurt, and she didn't know what to think at the time, but he hadn't let her say anything, really. He had told her a bunch of different things before leaving her alone, crying, because he couldn't face the rejection, even if she really wanted to discuss it with him.

He had never handled rejection very well, this guy, and she could understand why. Even when it came to Potter, he had never been able to accept the way he had rejected his friendship in their first year. They had had a long conversation about it in their second year, and they started to be really close after that.

Rejection was probably the thing he hated the most, given his situation. He was always afraid to be rejected, growing up the way he did, hiding his condition. Even if people didn't know, he was probably feeling like being rejected meant they knew something was wrong with him, that he shouldn't be there, that he was what was wrong. So he was acting out, and he was mean and he wasn't letting a lot of people get too close.

"It's fine," she said quietly, looking at him. Draco seemed surprised. She tried to give him a smile. It wasn't fine, not really. Well, it wasn't such a bad situation either. Draco was somehow free to date whoever he wanted to date, since he wasn't... pure. He was a part-human, did he really have to care about that anymore? But the thing is, she knew the others, those not knowing he was a lycanthrope, wouldn't understand, and they might create problems. What if they were starting to bully him for that? Draco didn't need that, really. That's probably why he had been keeping the relation secret for so long. Oh, well, she would be there for him, whatever might happened.

"Fine?" Draco whispered.

"Well, you know," she said, shrugging. Draco knew, yes. It wasn't exactly fine, but not bad either. He nodded.

"Draco, please, you need to understand that-"

"That it's something important, that a lot of people will not accept it and that I need to be sure I thought it through. I know, I get it."

"No, Draco," Pansy said, tilting her head as she examined his face. "You need to understand that you can talk to me about anything."

There was a few seconds of silence before Pansy looked away, clearing her throat.

"She makes me happy, Pansy. She makes me feel... better." Pansy looked at him again, considering him for a moment.

"Better?" She asked, scanning his expression. Draco smiled as he looked away, lost in his thought. He looked silly and she wanted to smile too.

"Yeah... Kind of like you do when you give me chocolate, or when you insult me because I'm annoying... She makes me laugh and she makes me smile... And I don't want it to change because people don't like it or don't understand... I want to share all of this with you. I wanted for so long but I didn't have the courage because... I'm not able to think about you not talking to me again, not like last year, I wouldn't be able to stand it."

"I wouldn't either," Pansy said as she gave him a small and sad smile. Draco looked at her for a second before he finally let go of her arm to put it on her hand for a second. They didn't have to talk more to understand what it meant.

"So... Now, um... What happened is that... You know, the ball..." Draco said quietly. Pansy guessed what he was about to say. Either he had invited her, either he really, really wanted to. She wasn't surprised, they had been dating for six months already. She wondered when it had begun exactly. Did it happen when Draco had met Granger after his stay in the hospital? When he had asked her to give the book to Hermione, with the note in it?  "We were in the library the other day and... Viktor Krum came up to her... to invite her," he started to explain, looking away again. Pansy's eyebrows shot up.

"Excuse me?" Draco frowned a little as he glanced at her.

"Don't be like that... She's pretty and... smart and nice... Of course guys like her," he muttered. Pansy grimaced, it was always weird to hear Draco talk about Granger. Especially now that she knew they were together. But she wasn't expecting that to happen. She wondered if she had accepted Krum's invitation, since they were keeping their relationship secret and she put a hand on Draco's shoulder.

"I'm sorry... But at least, hey, your secret if safe."

"But I stopped him," Draco let out, meeting Pansy's eyes. "She wouldn't have accepted anyway," he added, looking a bit offended.

"Of course she wouldn't have..." Pansy said, patting Draco's shoulder. Draco frowned, still looking very annoyed and Pansy pressed his shoulder. "When you say... you stopped him?"

"I said she was already going with someone... Even though I hadn't invited her," he said.

"Are you kidding me?" Pansy asked quietly, looking around. "Draco, you can't let- you can't do that just because you're jealous! Now, what? You-"

"I'm not jealous!" Draco whispered angrily.

"Keep telling yourself that!" Pansy said on the same tone before she shook her head, looking at the other students. "So what? Does it mean...?"

"Yeah. After that, I told her I wanted to go with her. Panse, that day..."

"The famous six months, huh?" She asked as she looked at Draco again and he nodded. "So you're telling me you're suddenly ready to go public, to show everyone that you're going out with her... You suddenly grew some balls and thought it was a good idea, is that it?" Pansy asked and Draco leaned a bit closer.

"Don't you get it?" He asked quietly and Pansy frowned. "Do you remember when you asked me if she was worth all of this last year? Our attention? My attention? When you were about to kill me?" Pansy stopped herself from smirking, hearing the last sentence, and she didn't say anything. "She is. She's worth everything."

"Dra-"

"I'm in love with her," he whispered, feeling his heart beat very fast and knowing that his pale cheeks were probably taking another shade. Pansy blinked. "You can't change that... They can't change that..."

Pansy took a deep breath before she nodded. They both turned their head when they heard someone clear their throat near them.

"Excuse me, am I bothering you?" Theodore asked, looking rather nervous. They didn't react right away, they actually didn't move at all, they stared at him for a few seconds. He was standing in front of them, across the table, and he gave them a shy smile.

"Not at all, Theo. What is it?" Pansy asked before smiling to him. Draco glanced at her. He knew that she had known Theodore since they were kids, he remembered her talking about their mothers being long-time friends. Maybe he would have been close with Theo if his father hadn't died in the first war. He was a Death Eater and he knew Draco's father, but after the war, it seemed like his mother had changed their way of living. Hence, Draco's father had stopped inviting them at the Manor, so he had never met Theodore before coming to Hogwarts.

He knew that the Parkinsons were still on good terms with them, though, regardless of their change. But as Draco also knew, in the end, the three of them were outsiders. Theodore was open about it, Pansy and Draco weren't. No one knew for Draco, no one knew for Pansy, and they were fine with things being the way they were for now. And that's why Pansy wasn't really hanging out with Theodore at school. They were sometimes talking, but it was never lasting very long. And sometimes, she had him over at her place during the holidays when he was coming for dinner with his mother. Or she was going at his place, when their mothers were having tea together. So Draco guessed they were friends, somehow.

Theodore didn't seem to mind not being able to hang out with her at school, he was fine with being alone, apparently. He seemed like a nice guy, but Draco had been too busy paying attention to his own reputation to care, at the time, so they had never been close or anything. Theo was very discreet anyway, kept to himself a lot. Lonely type, this bloke. They had been sharing the same dorm for four years now but Draco was mainly talking to Crabbe and Goyle there, not the two other boys.

"Um... I was wondering. You know, there's the Yule Ball during the holidays and, I thought that maybe..." Theo started to say, stopping when he finally met Pansy's eyes, clearly intimidated. Draco raised his eyebrows, more than eager to see how this would go. He wasn't looking at Pansy anymore, he was just staring at Theo, still sitting very close to his best friend. Theo glanced at him, actually a bit embarrassed before he looked at Pansy again. "I thought I'd invite you..." He finally said with a shy smile. "Unless of course-! I mean, you guys-" He added, looking at Draco.

"Oh, no!" Draco directly said as he sat properly again, laughing probably a bit too loudly for Pansy's liking. She slowly turned her head to look at him, while he was still chuckling, and she stared until he met her eyes, stopping immediately.

"How delicate, Draco," she said coldly, narrowing her eyes for a second. Draco opened his mouth but he couldn't say anything to her. He then looked at Theo again as he smiled a bit.

"I mean, we're not going together, it's not like that."

"Oh, great, so... Pansy?" Theo asked, looking definitely more hopeful. Draco didn't know if Pansy was actually planning on going to the ball. She liked this kind of nights, he knew it, he had actually accompanied her once to one where they were both going with their families, when they were both younger. But no one had asked Pansy yet and Draco didn't know if she would accept. Knowing she had no interest in boys, maybe she wouldn't give him false hopes, so he was waiting for a no, thinking she would probably go by herself, or with some friends, since Draco wasn't available anymore.

"I'd love to, Theo," she said with a cute smile. Theo nodded, grinning.

"Nice, um, great, cool. I'm..." He glanced at Draco then at Pansy again, looked at what she was doing and he nodded again before leaving. Pansy shook her head slowly, still smiling a little before she looked at what she had been writing again. Draco was staring at her, a bit surprised.

"Didn't know he was your type," he said playfully. Pansy glanced at him.

"It's not like that," she said. "You of all people should know it."

"It's not like that for you but... I don't know, he seemed really nervous. You're going to give this guy false hopes," he said as he leaned against the table, resting his head on his hand.

"I will not. I can go with a friend, can't I?" Draco shrugged and glanced at Theo who was apparently leaving the Great Hall.

"Well, yeah, but what if he wants to be more than a friend?"

"Look, I've known him for a very long time, we're just friends," she said as she wrote again, "He's nice, polite, funny... I don't see the harm. Plus, since you're going to ruin everything by going with Granger there, I might as well enjoy the night since hanging out with you will make me despicable too."

"Are you trying to get back at me because I laughed?" Draco asked as he narrowed his eyes. She simply smiled before she shrugged.