#madam of lithuania confused

[mexicaneurolover]

Eurovision 2018 my top 43

Hello, and welcome to another episode of this ESC tops series, and ending with the retro season, I go back to May 8, 10 and 12, 2018, when the 63rd edition of the contest was held in Lisbon, Portugal, after Salvador Sobral’s victory in Kiev last year, making this the first time Portugal hosted the contest. 43 countries took part, and Russia returned after their little issue last year, so nobody withdrew or was disqualified that year. This year was historic because Russia, Azerbaijan and Romania lost their 100% qualification record and many countries achieved amazing results never seen before. The contest was won by Israel and Netta with the song Toy, making this their 4th victory overall and the first one after 20 years. And now, let’s review the songs and see you until June for another post of this kind!

1st Place: CYPRUS/Eleni Foureira-Fuego (Real Placing: 2nd-436 points) 

QUEEN ELENI FOUREIRA GAVE US SLAYAGE DURING HER PERFORMANCE, the song is everything I love in a pop song, the music is so good, I love it, also her voice was better than I expected it to be, and I was so surprised because all the performance was literal fire, and the dancing is so catchy and I learnt all the choreography, well, I’m clumsy but I try, and i think this song deserved to win because it’s amazing, this had all the winning elements, and maybe one day Cyprus will actually win this contest motivated by this awesome woman. 

2nd Place: BULGARIA/Equinox-Bones (Real Placing: 14th-166 points) 

Seriously this song finished outside the top 10? IT’S AN AMAZING ENTRY, it’s mysterious, dark, and I loved the performance so much, all of them are amazing singers and they deserved a better result, I was so hypnotized by this song when it came out and I thought this might do it for Bulgaria, but they flopped so hard. Still this is an amazing song and I always listen to this song. 

3rd Place: GERMANY/Michael Schulte-You let me walk alone (Real Placing: 4th-340 points)  

YAAAAAS FINALLY GERMANY IS IN THE TOP AGAIN, and what a beautiful song, his voice is amazing, the performance is very wonderful and it’s such a perfect entry, the lyrics are so sad yet amazing and they make me cry so much. The best German entry since 2013 IMO, and it had a perfect result, I’m so happy for them. 

4th Place: CZECH REPUBLIC/Mikolas Josef-Lie to me (Real Placing: 6th-281 points)

Finally, their first top 10 placing ever, and what a banger this entry is!!! He’s so hot, the music is amazing, maybe the lyrics are a bit cringy but I enjoy this entry so much, also the performance is perfect and despite his accident he did marvelously, this entry always stayed at my top 5 and it’s the best Czech entry ever. 

5th Place: BELGIUM/Sennek-A matter of time (Real Placing: 12th SF1-91 points) 

ONE OF THE BIGGEST ROBBERIES OF THE YEAR, I WAS SO ANGRY WHEN THIS STAYED AT THE SEMI AAAAAAAAAAAA. The music is so beautiful, the lyrics are nice and I fell in love with this beautiful woman, maybe the performance was a bit mediocre but it’s what this song needed, a simple one, and I must admit her vocals were a bit shaky but I’M IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG SO MUCH, IT’S PERFECT. 

6th Place: FRANCE/Madame Monsieur-Mercy (Real Placing: 13th-173 points) 

Poor France, they sent another amazing song and they were snubbed by the public, they sang amazingly well and the performance was beautiful, they managed to create a perfect atmosphere on the arena that night and I loved them so much, this is so French pop and I thought this was going to be top 5, merci France pour une chanson tres belle. One of my favorite entries ever. 

7th Place: ESTONIA/Elina Nechayeva-La forza (Real Placing: 8th-245 points) 

Estonia singing in Italian, how interesting, and this entry is pure grace and preciousness, she’s so stunning on stage, her voice is just like the voice from an angel and I’m crazy for her, I’ve seen many of her performances and they are all flawless, the staging here is beautiful, and loved the projections of the dress, simply a stunning entry and I think this deserved more on the night. 

8th Place: SWEDEN/Benjamin Ingrosso-Dance you off (Real Placing: 7th-274 points) 

The words “with 21 points... Sweden” are marked in my soul because I laughed so hard. This song has a perfect sound, it’s very retro and it reminds me of Justin Bieber somehow, his voice is nice, the performance was so slick and perfect and he’s so cute as well, and it’s one of my most listened entries last year, however I thought Felix Sandman or Jessica Anderson would’ve been amazing entries as well. Well done Benjamin!!! 

9th Place: AUSTRIA/Cesár Sampson-Nobody but you (Real Placing: 3rd-342 points) 

One of the biggest surprises of the year, and it was such a pleasant one, he’s so sexy and he has an amazing voice, also the music has that gospel feeling that makes it so enjoyable and pleasant, and I loved so much the performance. When I saw it topping the jury vote I was confused but happy, and I thought this was going to win, but then the televote came and it was a bit sad. This entry grows day by day with me. 

10th Place: ALBANIA/Eugent Bushpepa-Mall (Real Placing: 11th-184 points)

YEEEEEES ALBANIA IN THE FINAL, this man is so handsome and has a powerful and beautiful voice, the music is so amazing and I love his high notes so much, I was surprised by his result but I think this deserved so much more, one of the best Albanian songs in the contest. 

11th Place: LITHUANIA/Ieva Zasimauskaitė-When we’re old (Real Placing: 12th-181 points) 

Awwww another lovely ballad with a lovely meaning, her voice is so sweet and the performance was so intimate and I loved it so much, and the fact her husband appeared at the end was so romantic. IMO it’s one of the best Lithuanian entries ever. 

12th Place: FINLAND/Saara Aalto-Monsters (Real Placing: 25th-46 points)

Another one of my faves from that year, I was so happy when this song was selected, and when it qualified because it was a deserving result, but then she came second... to last and I couldn’t understand why, the performance maybe was too much but her vocals were on point. 

13th Place: UNITED KINGDOM/SuRie-Storm (Real Placing: 24th-48 points) 

SURIE YOU QUEEN, this song is so lovely, the music is very nice and her voice is so strong and powerful, the performance was perfect, and despite the incident with that men, she managed to do an amazing job and she finished with a loud roar from the public, and I was clapping so hard in my house. I love this song so much and it deserved more. 

14th Place: IRELAND/Ryan O'Shaughnessy-Together (Real Placing: 16th-136 points) 

Oh I’m so happy for him, he did amazingly well, this is a very lovely ballad with sad lyrics, his voice is amazing, the music is beautiful and the performance was an absolute delight to see, at first I thought this was a mediocre song but it slowly grew up on me, and I’m so happy because they got in the final after many many years. 

15th Place: MOLDOVA/DoReDos-My lucky day (Real Placing: 10th-209 points)

One of the most cheerful entries this year, the music reminds me of the songs of the late 00′s and I love the traditional sounds mixed with modern ones, also they are amazing singers and the performance is so catchy, funny and perfect, I can’t help but smile with this song.

16th Place: SPAIN/Amaia & Alfred-Tu canción (Real Placing: 23rd-61 points) 

Poor Spain, they performed in second place so everybody forgot about this song, they sang so lovely together and the performance was very simple, maybe too simple, I think some pyro would’ve been amazing at the ending, and this song will remain as one of my favorites from that year, it’s very romantic. 

17th Place: AZERBAIJAN/Aisel-X my heart (Real Placing: 11th SF1-94 points)

Also Azerbaijan failed to qualify for the first time, and I can say that this is a very guilty pleasure of mine, the song is very nice, the music is good and her voice was a bit shaky that night, but still the performance was so lovely and I was very sad that she didn’t get through to the final. 

18th Place: PORTUGAL/Cláudia Pascoal-O jardim (Real Placing: 26th-39 points/last) 

WHY THIS SONG CAME LAST?!? IT’S A VERY UNDERSERVED RESULT. Her voice is beautiful, the song is breathtaking and the performance was so intimate and beautiful, I was amazed by this the first time I heard it and the lyrics are so beautiful as well. I still don’t understand how this masterpiece finished last. 

19th Place: ITALY/Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro-Non mi avete fatto niente (Real Placing: 5th-308 points) 

This entry always makes me cry because the lyrics are so strong but true, and the music is also very special and they are amazing singers together, also the performance was simple but effective and wow, I’m so touched by this song, i feel so bad because of placing it so low. 

20th Place: ISRAEL/Netta-Toy (Real Placing: 1st-529 points) 

Finally I have to say this, there are parts I love about this and parts I hate, the chorus is good but the verses are a bit weird, the lyrics are so good and her voice is strong but in the live performance it was a bit bad, I don’t think this was a deserving winner but I love the message of it. 

21st Place: GREECE/Yianna Terzi-Oniro mou (Real Placing: 14th SF1-81 points) 

Another one of my faves that didn’t qualify, I love this song so much, the ethnic elements blend perfectly with modern sounds, and her voice was a bit shaky but it’s a very good one, the performance was such a disappointment and I expected dancers with her, I’m hypnotized by this song, and it’s one of my fave Greek entries of the decade. 

22nd Place: SWITZERLAND/ZiBBZ-Stones (Real Placing: 13th SF1-86 points)

Speaking of unfair results, this is added to my list of favorite non qualifiers, the music in this song makes me feel amazing, her voice is so amazing, she’s gorgeous and the performance was so good, so I can’t understand how this song didn’t make the final, I fell in love with this song since it won the NF. 

23rd Place: UKRAINE/Mélovin-Under the ladder (Real Placing: 17th-130 points) 

This entry is so good, I love the music so much because it’s beautiful, also his voice is so powerful and cool, and the performance is perfect, I loved the beginning, and when I saw this last in the jury vote I was confused, but thanks to the televote this rose up and it was a decent result, also he performed first which was cool. 

24th Place: DENMARK/Rasmussen-Higher ground (Real Placing: 9th-226 points) 

Another powerful song, his voice is amazing, and the performance is so vikingesque which is perfect, and I love the lyrics so much, and the music makes me feel so strong and wanting to do a change in the world, I was so happy when I saw him on the top 10. 

25th Place: SLOVENIA/Lea Sirk-Hvala, ne! (Real Placing: 22nd-64 points)

Another surprise for me, but this was a pleasant one, I was so happy because of this song going through the final, Lea’s voice is perfect, the music is so amazing and the performance was perfect, also that pause was cool. I think this is a very amazing song and I enjoyed it so much.  

26th Place: HUNGARY/AWS-Viszlát nyár (Real Placing: 21st-93 points) 

AWWWWW YESSSS PURE HARD ROCK, I love this entry so much! It makes me feel so amazing, his voice is an absolute delight to listen and I’m crazy about the music and the performance, this gives me a lot of energy. I think this song deserved so much more in the final, and I feel so bad because of putting this so low. 

27th Place: FYR MACEDONIA/Eye Cue-Lost and found (Real Placing: 18th SF1-24 points) 

Okay, I have mixed feelings after this performance, this song was top 5 material because it’s a very amazing song, and I love the different rhythms here, but the performance, her dress and her voice were so bad that I felt so bad because of putting this so low, and this had a lot of chance to get through the final. PLEASE IMPROVE YOUR STAGINGS FYROM (or North Macedonia) 

28th Place: THE NETHERLANDS/Waylon-Outlaw in ‘em (Real Placing: 18th-121 points) 

OH WAYLON YOU’RE SO HANDSOME, this song is so good and it’s amazing, I love the country rock vibes here and he has an amazing voice, the performance was a bit of a letdown but I still enjoyed it so much, certainly this is a very nice entry, and oh my God his eyes are beautiful. 

29th Place: POLAND/Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer-Light me up (Real Placing: 14th SF1-81 points) 

One of my favorite songs ruined by an awful vocal performance and a very flat performance, this was a breath of fresh air from recent Polish entries, the music is so modern and cool, i think with another singer this would’ve been so much better. 

30th Place: LATVIA/Laura Rizzotto-Funny girl (Real Placing: 12th SF2-106 points) 

Awwww another good song that failed to qualify, and I was sure about this one as well, because she had a flawless performance, and it’s a very good song, I love the music, the lyrics are so strong as well, but overall this entry was very good, and I think this deserved more. 

31st Place: MALTA/Christabelle-Taboo (Real Placing: 13th SF2-101 points) 

One of my growers that year, at first I hated this, and then I ended up liking it, that performance was stunning and her voice was on point, so I was so sure she was going to the final because she deserved it so much, and then it didn’t qualify, which was unexpected for me. I hope she’ll come back soon because she’s an amazing singer and she deserved more. ALSO WHY THIS CAME LAST IN THE TELEVOTE IN THE SEMI. 

32nd Place: NORWAY/Alexander Rybak-That’s how you write a song (Real Placing: 15th-144 points) 

A former king of Eurovision is back, but with a mediocre song, the music is so funky and it’s lovely, but I can’t stand the lyrics, his voice is so good but I can’t connect with this song, still I was so sad about his result in the final. 

33rd Place: CROATIA/Franka-Crazy (Real Placing: 17th SF1-63 points) 

Poor Franka as well, her voice is so stunning, she’s beautiful but I was so bored of the performance, I expected something as in the music video, but it was so flat. The music is so sexy and the lyrics are so nice, but there was something missing here. 

34th Place: RUSSIA/Julia Samoylova-I won’t break (Real Placing: 15th SF2-65 points) 

Russia is out of the finals for the first time ever... that’s so historic, and I saw this coming when the song was released, it was a very flat song, and Julia’s voice was so broken on the performance, which was a shame because it was so beautiful. Also they lowered the song and made it sad and uninspiring, I think she deserved a better song and I admire her so much. 

35th Place: MONTENEGRO/Vanja Radovanović-Inje (Real Placing: 16th SF2-40 points) 

A Balkan ballad, it was a long time since one of this songs, and sadly this is one of the most forgettable songs ever, the music is lovely but this is a bit flat, but his voice is perfect and beautiful, also what’s with that blue suit, it’s so funny to see. 

36th Place: ROMANIA/The Humans-Goodbye (Real Placing: 11th SF2-107 points) 

The first time Romania failed to qualify from the semi, and I can see why, this is a bit boring, and it fails to catch my attention until the last part comes, I must admit she has an outstanding voice and it’s a melancholic rock song, but this is a flat song.  

37th Place: ICELAND/Ari Oláfsson-Our choice (Real Placing: 19th SF1-15 points/last) 

Poor Ari, he has the voice of an angel, but this song is so boring and forgettable, the lyrics are so cliché but the performance was very nice, unfortunately this doesn’t go anywhere. 

38th Place: SAN MARINO/Jessika & Jenifer Brening-Who we are (Real Placing: 17th SF2-28 points) 

This had a promising start but then the chorus arrives and everything fades away, also Jessika’s voice wasn’t so good in the life performance and she was like scared, also the robots were a bit weird in the performance, but they were lovely. I don’t know why this won 1in360 but I’d wanted to see Sara de Blue here. 

39th Place: SERBIA/Sanja Ilić & Balkanika-Nova deca (Real Placing: 19th-113 points)  

IMO one of the most unexpected qualifiers in that year, this was my favorite song of the Beovizija but I thought this wasn’t going to qualify, so I was so surprised, this has a very nice melody and it’s pleasant to listen, but sadly this is all I have to say about this one. 

40th Place: GEORGIA/Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao-For you (Real Placing: 18th SF2-24 points/last) 

This entry is... interesting, I never expected to see this genre at ESC, they have nice harmonies and voices, and the music is cute, but there are some parts that I find so weird, and it’s a bit annoying because I was expecting more from them, and this came as an effortless so I was 

41st Place: AUSTRALIA/Jessica Mauboy-We got love (Real Placing: 20th-99 points) 

This entry is my definition of flat, the music is so basic and her voice was so shaky, and the performance was so boring and uninteresting, also the lyrics are a bit cheesy and I usually like those songs, but this was so boring for me, and I must admit I expected more of this song. 

42nd Place: BELARUS/Alekseev-Forever (Real Placing: 16th SF1-65 points)

I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but I never liked this song at all, I find it a bit boring and flat, even if the revamp made it a bit better, his voice was so shaky and I was so disturbed by the performance, it creeped me out. I’d preferred to see Hmarki in the contest. 

43rd Place: ARMENIA/Sevak Khanagyan-Qami (Real Placing: 15th SF1-79 points)

Ummm I didn’t like this entry since it was selected, surely he has a nice voice and it’s so strong, but this is a boring and uninteresting entry, and I was sure this wasn’t going to qualify, despite being in Armenian which is a lovely language. 

[nearmidnightannex]

Eurovision 2018! commentary as it happened

Reposting from something done elsewhere. It is very very long, what with the competition lasting, you know, FOUR HOURS, so there is a keep-reading tag below.

No idea who the performers were, but I really liked that second number leading into the beginning and the parade of nations.

Interesting that Ross and Shangela felt the need to explicitly state that they will not be talking over the performers. I'm guessing that they had comments about that in previous years. (Also, totally forgot that Celine Dion got her start with Eurovision. And also somewhat confused, what with her being, you know, Canadian. Then, there are random Americans here this year, and I think Norway’s performer last year was actually from Australia, so.)

I do not remember the Ukranian boy band hosts from last year doing the instructions in English and French. I'm guessing in part because as they stated they were very new to English, so handling both would have been a bit much.

And here we go!

Melovin, Ukraine, "Under the ladder". Had a few problems wandering off key at the start, but then the number went insane and he was fine. Seriously, that ending was kind of nuts for a song that really wasn't all that intense. Didn't like it that much, meself, but we shall see.

Amaia y Alfred, Spain, "Tu Cancion". Surrounded by a sea of phone screens on one side, and a stage of things that aren't phone screens but might as well be on the other. It's actually the sort of very sweet ballad that wouldn't tolerate Eurovision-standard overproduction, so the lack of LED screen probably doesn't hurt them at all. No sense of whether or not it will do well, but the audience (and Ross and Shangela) seem to love them. (Cat Valente on Twitter: "Oof, Spain's only special stage effect was heterosexuality.")

Lea Sirk, Slovenia, "Hvala, ne!". A song and performance with attiTUDE, at the least. And about ninety million more flashing laser lights and spotlights than any song needs; I'm not epileptic, but I literally could not watch the chorus because it hurt. I can't imagine how difficult it was to be in the room.

Ieva Zasimauskaitė, Lithuania, "When we're old". A very very small and sweet ballad. If we didn't have the example of last year's winner, I wouldn't think a song this small would have any chance of making it through. Given that there's no projection screen on stage with her, I'm guessing that the images of couples we see next to her can't be seen in the auditorium, so they're aimed squarely at the juries and viewers, all of whom are watching on television elsewhere. And that staged ending, however hokey, was really sweet.

Cesar Sampson, Austria, "Nobody but you". I like the sound of the song, although I think it may have a shade too much repetition. His pants are ... weird. (People, if I, the fashion-impaired, am wondering why his spandex pants have a crotch at his knees, something is decided ODD.)

Elina Nechayeva, Estonia, "La Forza". Oh, Opera. Or at least operatic. And she gets around the LED screen restriction by wearing her own. Man, that skirt is MAGNIFICENT. It also provides all the motion, which is good, because she can't possibly be able to move without screwing up the screen. (Um ... were those sperm cells zipping around on her dress for a hot minute there?) I do wonder how much the auditorium can see, though; the main seating/standing level is all below stage level, and the balconies are all very far away.

Alexander Rybak, Norway, "That's how you write a song". A previous winner performing again. And again, effects that the audience can't see because they're composited into the camera. And it was fun, I guess, and I suppose that's how you write a song, but ... eh. Whatever.

There is a LOT more direct outreach to the auditorium audience this year than there has been in the past. The Slovenian grrrl group asking them to sing along, the Austrian guy saying  "How are you, Lisbon" in a song that really didn't tolerate it, Norway throwing his jacket into the audience ... I wonder how much this is a reflection of them compensating for the LED effects they don't have.

Claudia Pascoal, Portugal, defending champeeen, "O Jardim". Apparently, Portugal has decided that "small and quirky" is their niche, and they're going to OWN that. That said, the song built a little, in a way that last year's song never did, if only a very little.

And now a bit of business, both literal and figurative, in which the entire world sprints for the bathroom. Plumbing system managers around the world are thinking, "What the ... must be a break in Eurovision."

SuRie, Great Britain, "Storm". A very energetic performance, in which some rando grabbed the mic from her to get political. It was handled expeditiously, to put it mildly. She was able to get the audience back with her pretty quickly. Intrusions aside, the song was ... OK, I guess.

Sanja Ilić & Balkanika, Serbia, "Nova Deca". Cant understand a word, of course, but I like the sound and staging. Also the studmuffinly lead singer who set sail on a shorter version of the SS Kaftanic.

Michael Schulte, Germany, "You let me walk alone". It's a very nice, low-ish key song. Again, very simple staging accompanying effects ... although, judging from the reflections on the stage floor, unless the floor itself was part of the effects, the audience actually could see those. I wonder if management changed its mind about the LED screen ... or if he somehow brought his own with him. (EDIT: judging from later acts, the latter.)

Eugent Bushpepa, Albania, "Mall". Very dynamic. I mostly liked the sound of it, although I could have done with less of the falsetto blasts. Back of his jacket was ... odd. And ... that's it. That's all I got.

Madame Monsieur, France, "Mercy". So ... being able to kinda sorta just a little understand parts of the song are throwing me. Not least because it took me a couple rounds to catch up with the concept of "My name is Mercy", and not "My name is Thank you." Not helped by the fact that they were actually playing on that confusion deliberately. That aside, the song was ... very very French.

Mikolas Josef, Czech Republic, "Lie to me".  It's a fun song -- why is he wearing a backpack? -- but good lord, there's a lot of just standing more or less in place this Eurovision. (Well, OK, until the end of the song, for him. Bopping about with dancers and the occasional backflip off stairs is not “just standing in place”, no.) Also, it would have been helpful to have established the context that the other dancers were standing in light boxes bseside him; it looked on screen like they were somewhere else entirely at first. It's one hell of a dynamic performance, I'll give it that.

Rasmussen, Denmark, "Higher ground". Selected to perform the song because he looks like a viking. Which cannot be denied, really. Also, putting him in all black makes him look simultaneously undead and slightly terrifying. (Cat Valente on Twitter: "The lead singer for #Denmark looks like undead bearded Jared Leto when he hasn't had lunch yet.") The choice to stage with a bunch of long-haired burly trenchcoat-clad guys sorta kinda marching around is ... interesting. The song is sort of monotone; the performance is making a LOT more of it than it is, which is saying something. (And again, the appeal to the audience: "Come on, walk with us!" Which explains the marching.) Not quite sure what the snow effects have to do with anything. (The stagehands and crew for Eurovision must be both very good and feel very put-upon by the end.)

Jessica Malboy, Eurofied Australia, "We got love". It's dynamic, and it's ... fine. Although this is as close to typically Eurvision staging as we've had in a while. She did go badly off on her big glory note near the end, but she had a fair amount of song left to recover with.

And another break for business, and for business. The bit with the Serbian ... whatever he was, was very cute. The bit with Cesar Sampson was also very cute; hope he didn't hurt anything. And the bit with the Portuguese pod was also very cute. Cuteness abounded.

A very brief "in memoriam" bit to the first Eurovision winner, who passed away earlier this year.

Saara Aalto, Finland, "Monsters". Weirdly, I mostly like this song a lot. I think parts of it needed ... something, but I have no idea what. It just felt a bit off in places. (Not helped by the fact that nerves pulled her off key a bit here and there.) But that aside, it was energetic and interestingly staged. No sense of how well it might do.

Equinox, Bulgaria, "Bones". A motley of a group, with random Americans, according to Ross. Staged -- and presented -- as a really stark music video, sort of. Everyone in black. (My, this is a grim Eurovision this year.) That said, the blond woman singer does look as though she apported in from some completely different futuristic video. The song was ... fine, I guess. Can't quite see it going anywhere, though.

DoReDoS, Moldova, "My Lucky Day". Clever staging -- VERY clever staging, fifties doorway farce translated to music. Not that fifties doorway farce would have involved quite so much groping. It was really a lot of fun. It's so relentlessly out of anything even vaguely popular that I have no sense of how well it will do, but if there's any justice, that should be at least a top five finish.

"It's a very good chicken, sir."

Benjamin Ingrosso, Sweden, "Dance you off". And apparently some performers did indeed find their own projection stage solutions. Song is ... fine. (Saying that a lot this year, but that's all I got. It's not awful, it's not outstanding, it's FINE. If he were on the US version of The Voice, he would probably win.)

AWS, Hungary, "Viszlát Nyár". Um ... well. It's ... dynamic. Yes. It is ... that. Also apparently a fire hazard. And the lead screamer was barefoot. And the electric guitarist/bassist (couldn't tell which) decided to use Eurovision's audience as a mosh pit. (I bet the lead screamer can't talk after concerts, if he tries do to whole sets like that.)

Netta, Israel, "Toy". I really do love this song. Even the first few seconds have graduated from "intensely annoying" to "kind of growing on me". (They also sound MUCH better without autotune.) Not quite sure that the HEY light board thing really translated. Other than that, the staging is kind of lunatic, in initially small-scale Eurovision tradition. Oh, hey, sparkle shooters! And then the lighting went utterly insane! And then fire! And smoke! Ah, Eurovision!

Waylon, Netherlands, "Outlaw in 'em". A country song. Huh. I wouldn't expect that to do well at Eurovision -- an American-style country song being, you know, not even vaguely Euro-anything -- but as CW songs go, that was fun. Although you can tell that this was European, because he would have been Strongly Discouraged From That Staging here. The black guys having angry violent fits around the white singer was ... yeah. THAT. (Probably deliberately, given that the lead singer had lived in the US for a while, but still.)

Ryan O'Shaughnessy, Ireland, "Together". Low-key, lovely mid-tempo ballad. And I think he’s also been to Eurovision before, so he was able to keep his falsetto strong and on-key until near the very end. A nice all-male romance portrayed by the dancers on the stage and bridge. (Weirdly, given that the song itself is very clearly about the breakup and not the romance. Reportedly, the semifinal performance was censored in China, and the Eurovision broadcasting team promptly yanked China’s license to broadcast the grand final and blocked them.)

Eleni Foureira, Cyprus, "Fuego". It's fun, but still not seeing how this song is one of the favorites. To repeat myself: It was FINE. Lots of fire effects at the end, which, given the titlte, were rather required.

Ermal Meta e Fabrizio Moro, Italy, "Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente". Lyrics in many languages pretty clearly composited directly to camera -- they must have been in a complete panic when they discovered that they wouldn't have a big LED stage to work with. The song had sort of a nice build that they played with. Beyond that ... it was (say it with me!) FINE.

Honestly, I'm kind of clueless about what to expect. The staging was very low key. Very few of the numbers stood out. At a guess, my picks, vaguely in order, would be:

Israel Finland Moldova Austria Serbia Estonia Ukraine Ireland Cyprus Czech Republic Lithuania Slovenia Spain Portugal Netherlands Norway Sweden Italy Eurofied Australia (Yes, that's right, outside the top ten for the first time) Albania Denmark Bulgaria Hungary France United Kingdom (may do better with sympathy vote for rando invading the stage) Germany

I think the top three that I listed will actually be the top three, but beyond that ... I have no clue. And, to be scruplously accurate, I don't expect Israel to win, although I think they should. I think the geopolitical moment that we're in, which kept Russia out of the final for the first time ever, will also keep Israel from winning.

And now, the interval acts! The first couple singers are really nice. Can't understand a word, but the songs are still lovely.

The skit about the journey to Portugal's win was ... interesting.

And Salvador Sobral himself returns to the stage (sans last year's manbunnage) to sing another "I won't do Eurovision style" song at Eurovision. Which, to be fair, is a very nice sounding lament ... which his movements on stage do not at all match -- I wonder if he usually performs with a guitar or something and just has no idea what to do with himself. Or maybe I'm missing a lot because I don't speak Portuguese. Either way, he just looks odd up there.  ... oh. And now the song acquires tempo as he plays the piano like a drum. (In all seriousness, this is the most Eurovision-style performance I've seen from him; adding in a certain dynamism along with a certain amount of "What is he DOING?") And then he performed his Eurovision-winning song with a person who I guess is his idol. And the audience sort of sang along. (I wish I liked that song more, and I did like it better than last year’s Eurovision performance. Because that was a Moment.)

Interesting that Ross and Shangela, when they picked their top five, had almost NOTHING in common. They both had Israel and Germany in their top five, but nothing else.

And now: the jury vote! And judging from the early vote, the juries are going to be all over the place; Israel, for example, has been in second on one ballot, third on another, out of the top ten on the third and fourth jury ballots, first on the fifth; Cyrprus has a first and a few random other points; France has one first place (...the hell?), and not a single top ten vote anywhere else, and so on. But apparently the pre-competition love for Cyprus was justified; they're doing very well. But countries are bouncing all over the rankings in ways that they haven't the past two years. (Barring a massive televote result, it does seem clear that Eurofied Australia will indeed finish outside the top ten this year.) Unfortunately, Moldova is getting hammered in the jury vote, so they won't finish in the top five. SO UNFAIR!

Halfway through the jury vote, a pause for whatever reason, in which they cover the Eurovision young musicians orchestra very briefly. Israel very narrowly leads Austria and Cyprus. A pattern is emerging, slowly, that if Austria, Germany, Cyprus, Israel or Sweden isn't shown in a particular national jury's top ten, they will usually be the first place vote. Usually. But not always. (Hungary gave their 12 points to Denmark. And again: the hell?)

The green room for Eurovision is MASSIVE. For some reason, I thought all the pods were somewhere front of house. Also, Cesar should forego mentioning his Twitter password methods on international television.

Russia's jury got booed in the auditorium during the jury vote. (I do not have the slightest idea what Shangela was talking about when she said there was a hush in the auditorium.) This may go some to explaining their first-ever shut out from the Grand Final.

Unlike the past two years, at the end of the jury vote, it was utterly unclear which country would win. Last year, Portugal would have needed an unprecedented collapse in the televote to lose (it won the televote, so it didn’t matter); this year, it could easily go to either Austria or Sweden having a roughly equal shot, and Israel, Germany, and even Cyprus (which dropped back to fifth) having a not-unreasonable chance.

And now, the public televote results! Sweden, shockingly, finishes well down the public vote, so now their chances depend on Austria and Israel getting hammered. (Which does not happen.) And the public televote is ... weird. Seriously, how did Hungary do so well? And Austria does not win the televote, or even do particularly well! Serbia does well in the televote! But does not do well enough to matter! Ditto Norway! Moldova did very well in the televote, indicating that some people out there had decent taste!

Weirdly enough, as soon as they announced the fifth highest score, it became apparent that either Israel or Cyprus was going to win, because Austria getting hammered in the televote meant that they couldn't maintain first place. Italy, somehow, miraculously, managed a top three televote result, but finishing third meant that they couldn't win, because they got hammered in the jury vote.

Second place in the televote goes to ... Cyprus!

ISRAEL WINS! ISRAEL WINS! WOO-HOO! 

I only got one of top three (and two of the top six) right (and Germany kind of epically wrong), and it was (sort of) the winner! Woot! And other nonsense noises! (Cat Valente on Twitter: "YES YES YES WEIRD #EUROVISION RETURNS TRIUMPHANT TAKE THAT BLACK SUITS AND EARNEST BALLADS ALIEN CHICKEN MUSIC FOREVER!")

Next year's Eurovision will be in either Tel Aviv or Jerusalem, belike. That should be ... interesting. (I'm guessing probably Tel Aviv ... although one of the announcers did just say Jerusalem. Well. That may be ... fraught.)

While I am glad that Netta won -- I really did think it was the best song and performance -- part of me was secretly wanting Austria to win so that next year we could have Conchita and Cesar co-hosting. But I am really happy about this result.

One of the things I both love and hate about this type of competition. "Hey, Netta, you have just won the biggest competition of your life! Now, get it all together and perform for us! RIGHT NOW! No, you can't take the trophy with you ... Oh, all right, take the trophy. LOOSE THE CONFETTI!"

[the-chaotic-neutral]

I’m so unprepared this year! Due to a lot going on in life, I didn’t have time to watch either of the semi-finals or even pregame with the official music videos! So that means I’m going into the finals 100% cold. I feel both unprepared and excited. I haven’t gone into finals without research and preconceived judgement before. I have no idea what each country’s songs will be like or what style their stage shows may take.

So here’s to art, entertainment, and surprises! 🥂

Opening performance by TK. Last year’s winner, Salvador Sobral, championed authenticity (sometimes to the ire of other contestants and fans) and it feels like

I’m watching the US broadcast this year, which is presented by Logo and hosted by Ross Mathews and Shangela. Since Eurovision is still relatively new to the USA, and very new to Shangela, this broadcast is a perfect entry for American viewers. Ross explains the basics along with the idea of the Big 5[foot]The Big 5 are the countries that have contributed the most amount of money to Eurovision which guarantees them a spot in the finals without competing in either night of semi-finals. They are [/foot]. It’s also available as a live stream on Logo’s Youtube channel regardless of your TV package, so it’s accessible to literally anyone to watch.

01. Ukraine – Mélovin “Under the Ladder” A vampire rises. The song isn’t great, and the performance suddenly loses some of its exoticism when it becomes apparent that he’s singing in muddled English and not Ukrainian. It gains some back when his entire set catches on fire (on purpose).

02. Spain – Amaia & Alfred “Tu canción”

Super cute! Simple staging and great chemistry between these two makes this performance so damn endearing! But they’re really early and not much of a spectacle, so I worry they’ll get buried by later performances.

03. Slovenia – Lea Sirk “Hvala, ne!” She’s trying to throw down tough and maybe come off like Pink, but that’s hard when she’s got a huge, goofy grin on the whole time.

04. Lithuania – Ieva Zasimauskaitė “When We’re Old” A slow, sweet ballad with holograms. Holograms can be a real risk in a show. It can be a neat effect, like when Australia used it for a Minority Report computer interface, and it can be the show-stealer, like when it’s a nude clone with wolves. This came of as middling, especially because she seemed to reign in her own vocals. It felt more like a verse of a song rather than a full performance.

05. Austria – Cesár Sampson “Nobody but You” Great job utilizing the stage and lighting as a single performer, but this song is not up for the job.

06. Estonia – Elina Nechayeva “La forza” Estonia has a history of visually impressive performances, and this is not a disappointment. With this, the world comes one step closer to the Diva from The Fifth Element. Her voice is great and her dress is all projection mapping! This is how you make a strong impression while pushing the vocals to the forefront.

07. Norway – Alexander Rybak “That’s How You Write a Song” Shoobidoo dap dap, shoobay doop hay, that’s how you write a song.

No it’s not. This an adorable performance with incredibly inaccurate instructions on song writing. Major props on playing the violin, and the whole thing is really endearing, but I think it’s too breezy to stick in this competition.

08. Portugal – Cláudia Pascoal[h] “O jardim” This is the home team, the current champions, so they have a lot to live up to. I don’t know if it’s authentic enough for Sobral but I’m loving it.

Anyone else get a total Lola vibe (from Degrassi) from her? These are not the same person.

09. United Kingdom – SuRie “Storm” I’m getting Annie Lennox redux. Her song is not the Tim Minchin song, disappointingly, but this is one of the best UK contestants in years. Many of the Big 5 countries, which can go straight to the finals, seem to phone it in or at least submit very generic pop. This is the first time I can remember actually enjoying the UK contestant.

10. Serbia – Sanja Ilić & Balkanika “Nova deca” (Нова деца) Amazons and the grim specter of death! And discotheque! Unfortunately the visuals are the best part of this group. Their song is meh and I don’t think I’ll even be able to remember what they sounded like the next morning.

11. Germany – Michael Schulte “You Let Me Walk Alone” Really touching, personal ballad. The stylized screen show behind him came off as far more effective than the holograms. I was really surprised at how honestly the whole thing came off touching. The song and accompanying performance are all about Schulte losing his father, and that personal connection does a lot to elevate this from just another pop ballad to a standout act. Also Schulte looks like Philippe and I had a son together, so I am very proud of my boy.

12. Albania – Eugent Bushpepa “Mall” This is clearly a grunge or metal band performing their first ballad before they go soft. Okay song, but could have been more specific to Albania or the band performing it or, well, more memorable in any way. And the disconnect between the look and the sound is jarring, disappointing, and lackluster.

13. France – Madame Monsieur “Mercy” Velcome to Sprokets. Just a reminder that this isn’t Germany’s submission. Okay, enough about their look. There’s a fundamental problem with this song here, though the song itself is good. It’s a really good song about real life baby born on a ship of refugees fleeing to Europe. This song would have been great on an album, but in a music and performance competition the nuances get smoothed out and the striking visuals take, no pun intended, center stage. I’ll probably come back to them as a band, but think that they’ll be lost when the voting starts.

14. Czech Republic – Mikolas Josef “Lie to Me” The year is 1994. The soundtrack is The Mask. The costume is Minkus from Boy Meets World. The inspiration is Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The performer was having fun, so I guess that’s nice. And that’s really all I can say about it.

15. Denmark – Rasmussen “Higher Ground” Do you like vikings? Do you like Silent Bob? Do you like when people take a theme (in this case, All Aboard) 100% literally? Well, have I got the group for you!

16. Australia – Jessica Mauboy “We Got Love” And the Bland Award goes to… The only words I can think of to describe this is “Europop” and “gyrations”. There’s nothing more to say.

17. Finland – Saara Aalto “Monsters” The remix of this song could be a club hit, but not this version. As it is now, there’s not enough bass or and energy for a club and not enough complexity for a pop hit.

18. Bulgaria – Equinox “Bones” I can’t be the only one that sees this guy and thinks black Jack Black.

The song itself was not all that great, but as a group their voices sounded great together. Similar to France, I’m not a fan of this one but I am intrigued enough to keep an ear out for the rest of their singles.

19. Moldova – DoReDoS “My Lucky Day” They’re introduced as a folk-pop group but… well, that must mean something else in Moldova. They have the presentation of a Laugh-In skit and the emotional range of a Bar Mitzvah DJ team. Hard pass.

20. Sweden – Benjamin Ingrosso “Dance You Off”

SCENE I. A desert place

Thunder and lightning. Enter three Witches

First witch

Performance of Bieber

Second witch

Face of Ephron

Third witch

Song of Timberlake

I’m assuming that’s how this performer was summoned. An amalgam of safe bets, it’s no surprise that the song is generic yet appealing. Coupled with a great use of stage lighting, I don’t really like this one but I’m betting it’ll be a contender.

21. Hungary – AWS “Viszlát nyár” Yet another country who’s music submission seems to be off by a decade or so. The look screams Fall Out Boy but the music is more of a mid to late 90s pop metal. Whatever their inspiration, I spent way too much time trying to remember what forgettable bands they reminded me of and had no time to actually pay attention to them.

22. Israel – Netta “Toy” Yasss! Netta! And then… Okay, so I am very much not crazy about the Asian appropriation, but I’m here for everything else. The whole kimono and maneki-neko motif is just not sitting right. Please, you can do but. But her amazing sneer, the bizarre incorporation of the chicken dance, and the dance-able Tel Aviv music is killing it! Also, it’s great to see my homeland with something that’s not some punchable dude-bros on a beach.

23. Netherlands – Waylon “Outlaw in ‘Em” When you think of the Netherlands, what comes to mind? High taxes? State supplied health care and other services? How about Ted Nugent tributes and awkward krumping? Well, it will from now on.

24. Ireland – Ryan O’Shaughnessy “Together” This is the reason that China lost the finale broadcast rights. The musicians are recreating the Broadway show Once while a So You Think You Can Dance routine plays out with two dancers. Honestly, I kind of loved this. It was intimate and sincere and lovingly executed. One of my favorites of the night.

25. Cyprus – Eleni Foureira “Fuego” Oh no! Cyprus has read from the Necronomicon and opened up a rift in time! Ash Williams, come save us! This is Cyprus expect a danceable track. Because that’s what you’ll get. Also, every year there seems to be a Beyonce impersonator. Just saying.

26. Italy – Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro “Non mi avete fatto niente” I immediately see this one as a real contender. Not because I love the song (I don’t) but because it’s engineered with brutal efficiency. It perfectly balances poignant lyrics, earnest performance, and a solid song. The lyrics come up on the video screen with stylized fonts, rolling through various languages in a brutal and brilliant method of bringing in the world audience. You could maybe find a performance that is better in each category, but none so perfectly balanced across the board as Italy’s.

And now we wait for the votes to come in and be tallied. There’s always a lot of confusion about how they work so I’ll break it down to the best of my knowledge for y’all.

The jury votes. Each competing country has their own jury of voters that rank a top ten list. Then points are portioned out to their picks, with a top 11th award getting 12 points.

Public votes. These are given out based on the call-in voting from across Europe. This are announced second as they completely reorder the competitors.

If that sounds convoluted, it is. And purposefully so. The system was designed to draw out the suspense of the announcement as long as possible. So really the jury votes set up a baseline that can be completely overturned.

And impressions of this year? Well, I’m happy that the “white dress and a ballad” phase seems to be over. No clear style came out as a successor so maybe next year we’ll see a clear group-think strategy emerge.

My top picks, in no particular order, are:

Estonia

Portugal

Germany

Israel

Ireland

And I want to draw attention to a few more musical performers from Portugal, that weren’t in the competition but performed in the opening and closing segments. Mariza, Sara Tavares, and Mayra Andrade all caught my attention. So if you’re actually looking for new music in the midst of this spectacle, those are a few people I’d like to draw your attention to.

After an insane amount of re-ordering, and a long stretch when it looked like bland-as-bland-can-be Austria might win, Israel won! I am so happy, as that was personal pick. I figured Italy would take a high place in the public vote, and they did with 3rd place.

However, I think I would have preferred that Germany (my precious boy) would have won, as I do worry about Israel hosting Eurovision and all of the possible repercussions. Between the security issues of the people to go, and the political statements of the people who won’t, it’s going to be interesting. So now we can all revel in the greatness of Toy (if not the Orientalism of the performance) for a year. In the meantime, I’ll start a betting pool for how many countries will pull out of Eurovision between now and then.

NEXT TIME IN JERUSALEM! !השלב הבא בירושלים

I watch Eurovision because I know you didn't! I was totally unprepared this year. Still had a great time, though. Eurovision 2018: Finals I'm so unprepared this year! Due to a lot going on in life, I didn't have time to watch either of the semi-finals or even pregame with the official music videos!

[madam-of-lithuania]

fucking nazi

What

I don't support that

Don't accuse everyone you don't know and don't accuse everyone it you don't have any prove and do you have any prove, most likely you mistaken me for someone else most likely