#mad with power (sewing little doll clothes for my little doll)

[pummelingbat]

i finally finished sewing a summer outfit for Herbie this week!! took him to get a kiwi tea because he did such a good job sitting still for the fittings.... 💚

patterns i used were modified from DIY Cheng's 15cm doll jumper and 20cm doll beret. Herbie is a pretty nonstandard size, sitting at about 17cm, so i had to adjust the scale on both accordingly. (i also had to widen the legs on his pants to accommodate for his big ol paws 😭) it was kind of a headache, but i'm really happy with how they turned out!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball 129

Popo isn’t satisfied with Goku’s progress, so he starts him on some new training.   I feel like Goku’s already started and stopped three different training regimens already, but what’s one more?

First, Popo sews Goku a new outfit, since he’s been wearing the same rage he’s had since defeating King Piccolo. 

Goku seems to be touched and impressed by this.    I think it says something about Goku that he’s just as amazed by Popo’s ability to make clothes as his immense strength.  

Popo then leads Goku into the Room of Time, which is covered in clocks.   When I first saw this episode, I had hoped that the “Room of Time” would be the Hyperbolic Time Chamber from DBZ.   When that concept was introduced, Goku said that he had learned of it during this period, while he was training with Kami and Popo.    But it’s a retcon, the Hyperbolic Time Chamber never appeared in the original Dragon Ball anime in any form.

As far as this room goes, I’m unclear as to what it does.    The notion that it “creates time” is ridiculous.   This episode appears to suggest that it’s a typical time machine, since it flings Goku back into the past, but I’m not sure that makes sense either.   

My guess is that the room simply “creates” replicas of past eras, allowing Goku to interact with historical events without altering history or actually leaving the Lookout.  For that matter, I’m starting to wonder if the places Goku visited in the previous two episodes weren’t simulations as well.   The whole point of Goku training on the Lookout was to ensure that Piccolo Junior didn’t track him down and try to kill him before the tournament.   Sending Goku back down to Earth for training exercises seems to defeat that idea.  

Likewise, I doubt Kami would want to send Goku into the actual past, for feat that he might kill somebody’s grandfather and cause a time paradox.    But we never really get a handle on what this thing is or how it works.

Meanwhile, Tien and the others are running around with giant rocks on their backs.   Tien breaks his because he’s frustrated that these kinds of exercises won’t be enough to get them as strong as they want to be.   He later suggest that they all seek out Korin Tower, and receive training there, since it worked for Goku.

Meanwhile Goku tumbles into the past, where he lands on a young Master Roshi, who was trying to peep on a girl taking a bath.  

Okay, so the big problem with this episode is that “Master Roshi” isn’t this guy’s name, and even if it was, this would have been before he became a master.   He’s not the “Turtle Hermit” either, but he introduces himself as “Turtle-chan”, just so we have something to call him.   The Crane Hermit is in this episode too, and he’s just called “Crane” for some reason.   Must be the hat.

The object of Roshi’s lust is this lady, named Fanfan.   Okay, just to clear this up...

Ranfan is the lady who fought Nam in the 21st Budokai.   She has curly purple hair and isn’t above using nudity to win a match.

Ran Ran is Chiaotzu’s doll/wife from the third Dragon Ball movie “Mystical Adventure.”.  

Colonel Violet is an officer in the Red Ribbon Army.     She looks almost exactly like the lady in this episode, except Violet has blue eyes.

But this episode features Fanfan.    Her main distinction from the others is that she lived at least 280 years before Dragon Ball began.   I say this because Master Roshi is at least 300 years old, and his younger self claims to be 18 in this episode.    So maybe Fanfan is the ancestor of Violet and Ranfan?

Of course, this implies the existence of yet another purple-haired woman (or doll) named Fanran.   I’ll let you know if I spot one.

Anyway, Turtle-chan is pissed that Goku messed up his chance to see titties, so Goku shows him his own titties.   Turtle-chan explains that it doesn’t count.    Insert your own Tumblr nipple joke here.

Crane shows up and gives Turtle a hard time, and he claims that one day Fanfan will be his girlfriend.   Okay, so what I don’t get is how both of these guys are supposed to be students of the great Mutaito, but neither of them wear his uniform.    They also have full heads of hair, unlike their previous appearance in flashback during the King Piccolo Saga, where they looked a lot more like Crane’s flunkies in the back.

See, he’s 18.   Feel free to draw all the young Roshi/young Crane Hermit slash fan art you want, kids.

Roshi takes Goku to see Mutaito, who is curious enough about Goku to accept his request for a fight.   

There’s something about Mutaito that reminds me of my dad, and I can’t quite figure out what.    They don’t look that much alike.  

Goku wonders why Mutaito doesn’t adopt a stance for their battle, and Mutaito assures thim that he’s been in one this whole time.    They fight while he sits right there, and then he knocks Goku against the wall without even touching him.

So, is Mutaito supposed to be stronger than Goku is?  

No, because even Mutaito acknowledges that Goku has incredible speed and power.    It’s more likely that Mutaito won that exchange simply because he surprised Goku with moves he wasn’t expecting.

He explains to Goku that he used ki to knock him back.

This whole scene feels a little weird, since we’ve seen Goku use ki before, and he’s fought against other ki users like Roshi, Tien, and Piccolo.   I think the point of this lesson is that Goku’s mostly been using it in very primitive ways.    The Kamehameha is powerful, and Goku learned to bend it around to make it more versatile, but ki could be used for more intricate applications than this.   

Mutaito demonstrates by using a thin beam of energy to divide the flow of a waterfall.   He assures both Roshi and Goku that they could do the same with enough concentration and hard work.

While Goku plugs away at this, he finds some of Fanfan’s laundry in the water.

Fanfan thanks Goku for finding it, and wipes the sweat off his face.

Turtle-chan says he’s sweaty too, but Fanfan points out that he’s drooling.   Master Roshi Turtle Chan belongs in jail.

Then Crane shows up and he’s all “D-Did you get my DM?” and she’s like “Nope.”

I feel bad for Fanfan, because it looks like her only options for romance are a peeping tom and a cranky incel with a stupid haircut.   Goku’s actually 15 in this episode, so I guess he’s almost eigible, but all he wants to do is cut waterfalls in half and show everyone his titties. 

So Crane just punches Fanfan and kidnaps her on the spot.   Man, this guy is the worst.  He tells Roshi to tell Goku to meet him in the harvest field.   Uh, okay?

Roshi brings Goku along...

...And Crane tries to fight Goku, but he can’t even touch the guy.   

Well, I guess he does touch Goku’s fist with his face, but that really doesn’t help him.

Turns out he’s got Fanfan tied to a tree, and his henchmen are going to kill her.

So Goku has to let him beat him up, and somehow even that doesn’t help.   Crane works him over for a bit, but Goku’s not even hurt.    Look at this smug li’l bastard.    Crane Hermit absolutely sucks.   I was mad at him before for hitting Fanfan, but now I’m starting to think she just pretended to get knocked out so she wouldn’t hurt his feelings.

So Crane calls on his other henchman to light a fire around Goku and Turtle.   I guess they poured gasoline all over this field before they showed up?     Is this even a threat?   I’m pretty sure Goku could jump over this easily.

Roshi is panicked, at least.

But Goku remembers what Mutaito told him, and he starts powering up his ki while he’s surrounded by flames.   Foreshadowing! 

So Goku manages to clear a path through the flames. 

And Fanfan kicks one of Crane’s buddies in the nuts.   

The other flunky tries to hit her, but then Mutaito stops him, and he looks pissed.

He tells Crane to either quit the dojo now, or get moved to the back of the class.

Turtle is super-impressed with Goku’s ki power, and vows to train hard to surpass him.    Well, he did beat Goku once, so he’s not totally wrong.  Fanfan promises to wipe the sweat from Turtle’s brow, but only after he surpasses Goku.  I like that because it would have been really hacky for Roshi to get the girl.    He didn’t even do anything in this episode except bring Goku along.   This way, she doesn’t even have to touch the sleazebag until he gets strong enough to beat Goku, which doesn’t happen until after she’s long dead. 

Later, Goku tries to cut the waterfall, but he can’t get his ki power to work this time.   Turtle wonders if what he did in the fire was a fluke.

From the Lookout, Kami and Popo watch all of this, and wonder if Goku is getting anywhere.    So does this mean they watched the part where Fanfan was taking a bath?   

[cartoonus-maximus]

I decided to fill out that one Monster High doll collector questionnaire for funsies.

Anyone who wants to see what my opinions are, click the ‘read more.’

Questionnaire by @cryptoriascollectiblog.

1) Introduce yourself and tell us how long you’ve been collecting Monster High dolls!

I’m Max (female), and I’ve been marginally interested in the MH line of dolls ever since they came out, but I’ve only been buying them for about 5 years now.

2) How many MH dolls do you have?

I own 23 dolls (if you count Sandy de Nile as a doll).

3) Is Monster High your favorite doll line? Why or why not?

To me, MH is on equal footing with Barbie. I like the MH characters, but I’m not a super big fan of their original fashions, and I’m just more pleased by Barbie’s clothes and hair styles. But, on that note, while Barbie is appealing and comfortable to me, I really appreciate how quirky and wacky the MH characters can look.

4) Who’s your favorite MH ghoul?

Frankie Stein, no doubt about it. I really like her visual aesthetics, and her face has always been super cute, and her color schemes go so well together, and agh, she’s so precious! Three of my dolls are Frankie and I love them.

5) Favorite Manster?

Definitely Jackson Jekyll. And I like him for a lot of the same reasons I like Frankie: colors, face, aesthetics, etc.

6) Do you own any dolls of your favorite ghoul and/or manster? How many?

Again, I own three Frankies, and I also own one Jackson. When I saw the Frankie/Jackson graveyard picnic 2-pack, I had to get it. I also have the ‘I <3 Fashion’ Frankie and the comic-themed reboot Frankie.

7) Do you own any playsets? If so which one(s)? If not, is there a reason?

No, I don’t. Playsets as a concept don’t really appeal to me these days.

8) Of the original main ghouls (including Ghoulia, Spectra and Abbey) which is your favorite? Got any dolls of them?

Ahem, Frankie. Aside from the obvious, I’m also a fan of Cleo, Draculaura, and Spectra. I have a Cleo doll (reboot family set) and I’m pretty happy with her.

9) Favorite character with only one doll release?

I wanna say Kjersti as my top fave (I’m a sucker for the little nordic gamer), but second tier would probably go to either Porter or Neighthan (I like their dolls, but not their characters).

10) Character with too many dolls (in your opinion?)

Depending on whether you see the baby siblings as actual dolls or not, I’m gonna have to say Sandy de Nile, who has had 2 releases, which was 1 too many in my opinion. It’s not like the two versions look drastically different or anything - only the torso got painted a little differently. That’s all. What’s the point?

I don’t know about the conventional dolls.

11) Any character you would’ve liked to see in a doll line that didn’t make it? (i.e. Lagoona in Sweet Screams or Draculaura in Power Ghouls, etc)

Lol, ‘Geek Shriek’ Holt would have absolutely killed me.

‘Dead Tired’ Howleen & Twyla 2-pack.

‘Sweet Screams’ Rochelle as macaroon and wafer cookies and hot cocoa.

12) Any ideas you would’ve liked to see in a doll line?

I would have rather they just expanded on some of the lines they started but only did like 3 dolls in.

But I would have liked to have seen a line that was just centered around gaming, where each character has a different game theme. Like, Cleo has a tabletop RPG theme, Ghoulia has competitive chess or something, and Jinafire or someone has a Candy Crush-like app game theme. I think that would have been a cool line.

13) Is there a “grail” MH doll for you? If so do you own it?

‘Little Dead Riding Wolf,’ and no, I do not currently own her. (I am such a sucker for Little Red Riding Hood, leave me alone.)

14) Thoughts on the cancelled Ever After High crossover?

I’m honestly glad they didn’t go through with it, because by the time they got around to seriously talking about it, I was so sure it was going to turn out really badly.

Besides, their choice of not doing it has given the fans the freedom to tell a crossover story in whatever way they choose.

15) Thoughts on the 2016 reboot faces?

I think they’re cute! I really like them! :-D

16) Thoughts on the 2016 “Monster Family” line?

It’s an adorable idea! And I’ve wanted other siblings for so many of the characters (especially the Wolfs and the de Niles) for such a long time now.

17) How bout the SDCC exclusives? What was your favorite? Do you own any?

I don’t own any. And honestly, I never paid that much attention to what doll was a San Diego exclusive and what wasn’t.

I think my favorites are super-fan Ghoulia, and the Whisp/Valentine 2-pack.

18) How about Amazon exclusives?

The special Skelita is very pretty. The family got her for my collector sister as a gift. She’s a very lovely figure.

19) Favorite Frankie Stein doll?

... I can’t choose. I love so many.

Of the three I own, I think the one from the graveyard picnic 2-pack is my favorite.

20) Favorite Draculaura doll?

I’m gonna have to say the ‘Dance the Fright Away’ reboot doll is my favorite Lala, with a close second of her ‘Classrooms’ doll. ‘Snow Bite’ and ‘Sweet 1600′ and ‘Sweet Screams’ are also really great.

21) Favorite Clawdeen Wolf doll?

‘Frights Camera Action’ Clawdeen.

22) Favorite Cleo de Nile doll?

The one from that 2-pack with Ghoulia that almost made it to Comic-Con but didn’t? Where Cleo is dressed in all her royal burial trappings? Love it.

23) Favorite Lagoona Blue doll?

‘Ghoul’s Night Out’ Lagoona.

24) Favorite Ghoulia Yelps doll?

Either the one from the ‘Mad Science’ 2-pack with Cleo, or the one from the ‘Scaris: city of frights’ line.

25) Favorite Spectra Vondergeist doll?

‘Picture Day’ Spectra, who’s both pretty and super spooky! A good combo!

26) Favorite Abbey Bominable doll?

Either ‘Coffin Bean’ or ‘Music Festival.’

27) Favorite Venus McFlytrapp doll?

‘Gloom and Bloom’ Venus.

28) Favorite Rochelle Goyle doll?

‘Freak du Chic’ Rochelle is super cute!

29) Favorite Operetta doll?

Either ‘Picture Day’ or ‘Monster Scaritage.’

30) Favorite Toralei Stripe doll?

I’m not really drawn to any of the Toralei dolls, honestly. But I do own one - the one from the ‘Fierce Rockers’ 2-pack with Catty, whose face I like but whose outfit I dislike.

31) Favorite Jinafire Long doll?

‘New Scaremester’ Jin.

32) Favorite Skelita Calaveras doll?

‘Monster Scaritage’ Skelita.

33) Favorite Howleen Wolf doll?

Her original doll, from the 2-pack with Clawdeen.

34) Favorite Twyla Bogeyman doll?

Either original or ‘Coffin Bean.’

35) What do you do with your dolls? (Display them, take photos of them, etc)

I usually just arrange them on a shelf in my room. I’ve also enjoyed designing and sewing outfits for them in the past, but I haven’t done that in awhile.

36) Is Monster High the only doll line you collect? Why or why not?

I co-own a Barbie collection with my sister, but MH is the most recent collection I’ve bought for.

37) Do you still collect Monster High dolls? (i.e. scour the internet and/or secondhand stores?)

I mean, if I happen to see one I like that I can afford, I might get it. But it’s not something I tend to go out of my way to look for.

38) There’s a lot of new Monster doll/toy lines out now: thoughts if any?

... Are there a lot? I honestly don’t keep track of toy lines that closely these days.

39) And finally, what’s your favorite thing about Monster High? Can be past or present!

I came for the puns and I stayed for the quirky aesthetics and outlandish character designs. And I’m still having fun with those things, even if Mattel and most of the fandom have all moved on (as evidenced by my fanarts).

[fantroll-purgatory]

@sartoonis

Art is mine-

FIRST: Alternia or Beforus or some type of AU?

Alternia!!!

Name (preferably include how you came up with it and why): Kazmal Nepila

I think Kazmal can stay because it sounds like a change from “Kamal,” a name which means “perfection/excellence” in Arabic and “lotus/pale red” in Sanskrit. I think it’s fitting both because tailoring means fitting something with precision and because you’ve written a character who is defined to an extent by his pale red relationship - his moirallegiance.

For the last name, how about Halgus for hallux valgus, another name for bunion, which is a sneaky reference to a tailor’s bunion which was commonly developed from tailors sitting crosslegged while they worked and developing joint deformity in their pinky toes. Also fitting because he is in a situation in which the nature of his work for his moirail is causing him strain and deformity in his self.

Please help with my name- I like it but like i just randomly picked letters and stuck them together

Age: 7 sweeps

Strife Specibus: hornkind

He uses his horns to ram his victims (they jut out front and point. They kinda act like blinders on a horse but they are very sharp and pointy)

I like it as a concept but I feel like if we wanna tailor (heh) his bio a little more closely we could go with needlekind? And if we wanna play into him being a purpleblood he could have a chucklevoodoo doll that he uses as a pincushion and could weaponize against those his moirail tells him to kill.

Fetch Modus: no clue really

Let’s go with a seamripper modus; captcha would be ‘sewn in’ and he would need to rip the seams to get it out; if he makes a mistake he could damage the item itself.

Blood color: Purple!

Symbol and meaning: Capririus

Sign of the contender (Derse + Hope) (if you can help with the sign that would be great too)

I don’t know that he seems like a Dersite or a Hope player. As a blind follower who would rather reshape himself than reshape the world around him he’s a definite Prospitan. For his aspect, I think we could reasonably swing Space, especially since sewing and the like is so intimately associated with physical manipulation in Homestuck.

Trolltag: none yet tbh

If we wanna go GCAT maybe greatCouturier? I assume a lot of his work is for fellow purplebloods since Alternian trolls generally think fashion is stupid and purplebloods are like…the only caste that wears patterned fabric? This trolltag would indicate his status in society but also seem insufferably frou-frou to most other trolls, making him a likely target for harassment.

Quirk: he doesnt use any capitalization. even when mad. he has committed to having almost a monotone kind of tone to his typing.

Special Abilities (if any): does tailoring count?

I think I wanna add the chucklevoodoo doll to his abilities given that purplebloods gain abilities from being in the juggalo cult.

Lusus: :00 a bull head on a rhino’s body, actually

In general, purplebloods live near the sea and have lusii that can presumably exist in some form both in and out of the water. I like the big grey thick-hided aesthetic, so how about a manatee with a rhino head? You could also have him wrap thread around his dad’s horns either for sewing assistance or as a way of showing his dad he loves him. You could still keep the theme of isolation this way, too; purplebloods’ lusii are more likely to be out at sea. They can’t pursue their parents since they’d be encroaching on seadweller territory, and they have no way of knowing if their lusus has been culled to feed Gl’bgolyb.

Personality: he is a blind follower. Hes manipulated by his moirail to murder other trolls, trolls in castes lower than him that she couldnt get away with so she can cook them. She acts like she cares but then will shut him out. But he clings to the relationship because he feels like thats all he has. He has hope that this will all turn out good for him and her. He keeps a stoic expression and thus paints on a face to make it seem like he is smiling. But he isnt really. He seems void of all emotion but in reality hes just really good at hiding them. He likes to make things for his moirail to show his compassion (even though she never wears or uses said things and sometimes throws them away right in front of him)

I think this has a lot of potential! First off I’m very intrigued by this cannibalistic moirail of his, but second off, I want you to expand on his relationship with her! As a reminder, a moirallegiance is not necessarily akin to being a best friend; it’s a partnership with the very specific purpose of each troll balancing an imbalance in the other. Now, this doesn’t mean that every moirallegiance is healthy; while we saw Nepeta and Equius as the platonic ideal of one, we saw plenty of examples of kismesissitudes and matespritships that devolved into something sinister. This can be a really good example of that if you answer the following questions: what does Kazmal think he’s getting out of this? What is it about this relationship that makes it an unhealthy moirallegiance rather than merely an unhealthy friendship? What imbalance does he think his moirail corrects in him, and what does he feel he gives to his moirail?

As an example, how does Kazmal feel when his moirail throws away the things he makes? Does he view that as a critique of his work? As encouragement to work towards getting better? How does he view her requests to murder other trolls? What does he think he’s giving her? Does he feel he’s protecting her from something? What is the imbalance he thinks is being corrected, and how does he envision the “perfect” version of this moirallegiance? Answering these questions will tell you a lot more about Kazmal’s relationship.

Interests: tailoring :0 this man loves making clothes!!! Even if he isnt so good at it he still loves doing it. He made his own!! He is currently working on his ultimate clown suit for when he has to inevitably fully commit to this clown juggalo cult aesthetic thing. He also likes to ram his horns into things like trees or punching bags with his lusus for fun.

Title: seer of hope (idk what i m doing help)

Man given Homestuck’s history of Pages as gentlemen who try very hard and get pushed around by the people they care about, I think this dude is for sure a Page of Space, which would eventually make him incredibly powerful. It especially fits with his being a not-yet-great tailor whose moirail throws his stuff away. Also, because the Robin Hood outfit would be funny to stick a tailor in.

Land: idk rlly

Land of Rips and Frogs (LORAF). I like the idea that he’d have a planet that was extremely broken and full of ravines, and that his job as a Page of Space would be to mend these enormous rifts in order to advance to Echidna (and would make frog hunting harder, though not impossible).

Dream Planet: Prospit

Aha, so here you say he’s Prospit. Good. We’re in agreement here! Which makes his sign Caprigo, Sign of the Lacuna! WHICH MEANS A GAP IN A MANUSCRIPT OR A BONE. This dude’s themes are LOCKED THE FUCK IN with gaps and gaps and gaps.

Horns - I usually try to sprite horns from scratch but naphal’s sprite sheet had a set that just worked so incredibly well with his symbol and the whimsicality of purple horns??? Edited them very slightly but it’s mostly presented as is. If you want a set from scratch just lmk and I’ll work on it.

Face Paint - I gave him Flowey’s smile from Undertale! Firstly because it’s the smile he gives us when he first says “it’s kill or be killed,” a philosophy Kazmal is no doubt subjected to by his moirail, and secondly because Flowey is himself a character who represents being trapped in unhealthy cycles.

Eyes - once again edited from Naphal’s sprite sheet.

Mouth - purplebloods tend to be toothy, so I gave him very narrow and needle-like teeth.

Clothes - aside from some plain black pajama pants, this is all naphal. I deliberately wanted to avoid the neutral colors we usually see in Alternian outfits. I surmised from your design that Kazmal’s moirail is a goldblood, though if that was incorrect I’m happy to fix it up. I wanted his color scheme infected by his moirail’s as if by a virus, culminating in the apron, which is so subsumed by his moirail’s color that his symbol looks quite lost in it! I also wanted some clashing patterns both to represent his struggle and to show that he’s still a fledgeling designer. The vine-y pattern on his apron is courtesy of mirz123 on deviantart.

Shoes - these are some comfy slippers from fan-troll, which I have elected to keep as his blood color to…I dunno, inspire some hope? Despite all the bullshit he’s going through, he’s still fundamentally grounded in his own sense of identity.

So that’s my review of Kazmal! Thank you for sharing him!

-TR

[you-and-i-for-forever]

Plucking Petals (Lafayette x Reader) Part 1

Prompt: “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: I wasn’t really planning on writing any Hamilton/imagines but here we are...This is part 1 out of 2, but let me know if you want the second part!

You and Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette had been friends since you were in frilly, cloth diapers. You had grown up in the same commune in Chavaniac, France, due to both your fathers being apart of noble military lineage.

You spent almost every single day together: running around the buildings, riding horses, laying around the fountain in the middle of the estate, getting into more trouble than either of your families cared to admit.

You were thick as thieves and the best of friends. His father was a higher rank than yours so it was expected that you referred to Lafayette by his last name, but he allowed you to call him by his first name, Gilbert. You were the only one Lafayette felt comfortable talking to out of all the kids in the whole estate, most of them acting like the self-entitled brats they were with rich and powerful fathers.

It was strange for either of you to be apart from one another for an extended period of time, so when Lafayette started schooling with his tutor, you were quite lonely. You spend long hours walking in the estates shared gardens by yourself or learning from your mother how to sew; just waiting for the hour to strike six o’clock and Lafayette’s studies to be done with for the day.

“What’s wrong Y/N?” Lafayette asked after his very first month of schooling finished.

You were both sitting in the rose garden, your favorite spot, hidden away from your nannies. They had probably given up searching for you and gone inside to cool down on this warm spring day, hoping you would come out of hiding soon.

You had been sighing and picking the petals off roses all afternoon. You dropped the petal less rose you were holding before and looked down at him.

“I’m bored, Gilbert,” You sighed again

“Do you want to play A Game of Graces? Jou-Jou? Marelles?” He asked and sat up. He had been laying down at your feet, fallen petals collecting on his face.

“No…not so bored as much as…restless.” You corrected and wiped the built up pollen on your hands onto your dress.

“Why?” Lafayette stood up and sat down next to you on the stone bench.

You snapped another flower from its bush and trace its soft bloom.

“I want to go to school like you do.” You explained with another sigh.

Lafayette let out a snort and snickered, “But you’re a girl, you’re not allowed.”

You face flushed and your entire body stiffened. “I know that!” You said

“I don’t even think my tutor would allow you into the library!” He teased, seeing it get a rise out of you.

“That’s not funny!” You yelled at him.

“He’d probably tell you to go play with your dolls and leave reading to the men.” He laughed, holding his stomach.

“Just because I’m a girl doesn’t make me a fool!” You snapped at him and shoved him hard. He tumbled off the bench and you were glad to see the smile leave his face.

Lafayette scrambled to sit up, quickly realizing his offense to you.

“I may be a girl but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn everything you do. I’m tired of sitting around, waiting for you to finish your studies every day the day, I want to be learning with you.”

You abruptly stood up and threw the rose at his face, hoping its thorns would prick his skin. You huffed, gathered up your dress in a rather undignified manner, and marched away from him.

“Y/N!” He called but you ignored him as you ducked underneath bushes.

As soon as you escaped the jungle of plants, your nanny spotted you and rushed over, relieved you had finally reappeared. She scolded you on your messy appearance and ushered you back towards the house for supper. You glanced over your shoulder to the garden, spotting Lafayette watching you from under a rose bush. You turned your nose up at him and continued towards the house.

-

You didn’t talk to Lafayette for two whole days after he had mocked you for your desire to learn. Not speaking for two days in Y/N and Lafayette friendship time was like not speaking for 2 years. You avoided going near the building him family stayed in and the library he studied at. You sat and plucked flower petals at the edge of the rose garden, not sneaking into the hideout you and Lafayette shared. Your nanny fussed over how dirty you were getting from being outside, but you were too stubborn to get up and do anything else with your time.

It wasn’t until the third day that you and Lafayette finally spoke again. Your nanny was getting too unbearable to listen to so you finally snuck into your garden hiding spot. You lounged on the grass, watching bugs flutter by, and of course, ripping petal off roses.

Suddenly, a presence was looming over you. Before you had a chance to react an armful of heavy books dropped onto your lap.

“Ow!” You cried, thighs sore from the impact. You looked up, already knowing the only person it could be.

“What was that for!?” You demanded from Lafayette. You looked down at the books and your face redden with anger. “Come to gloat about your education. Make fun of me while you study?”

Lafayette dropped down next to you and pulled off his cap, sweat on his forehead. No doubt he was tired from caring the mountain of books from the library all the way to the gardens.

You shoved the books off your lap and began to smooth out your dress, acting aloof, but watching the books from the corner of your eye.

“You said you wanted to learn like I do right? Want to study with me? Well, I’m going to teach you everything I’ve learned so far.” Lafayette said and started pulling books out of the large pile.

“What do you want to learn first? Reading? Writing? Astronomy? Arithmetic?” Lafayette asked, summarizing the subject of the books he went through.

You turned towards him a little and raised your eyebrow.

“You’re going to teach me?”

He looked at you and raised an eyebrow, “Of course.”

If this was a trick he was trying to play, it was very mean spirited.

“Really?” You said, squinting at him and crossing your arms.

“Yes. You said you wanted an education, no teacher will tutor you, so I will.” He said a mixed expression of shyness and determination on his face.

Oh.

You face softened a little.

“Really?” You asked again, a smile slowly spread across your lips.

“Yes!” He said with a laugh, secretly worried you thought the whole idea was preposterous or you were still mad at him.

You flung your arms around him and held onto him with an iron grip, laughing. Lafayette laughed and hugged you back. You sat like that for a moment, heart racing in excitement at the prospect being taught like any boy would be. Not only that but learning from Lafayette, your best friend.

“Thank you, Gilbert.” You said once you each released each other.

“I am sorry for what I said before.” He looked down, fiddling with the front cover of a book.

You leaned in a placed a kiss on his cheek to let him know he was forgiven. A wide grin spread on both your faces.

“We need to get started Y/N!” Lafayette buzzed, patting the book cover. “You’re already a month behind me, you need to work hard if you’re going to catch up!”

You giggled as the two of you tried to decide which subject to start with.

Reading was first.

-

The years you and Lafayette shared at the estate were long and full of good memories. All the hours you spent learning from Lafayette in the rose garden, the games you played, the time you spent together.

A few months after Lafayette’s 13th birthday, he was commissioned an officer by the royal French military, and you knew things weren’t going to be the same anymore; you were both growing up.

Both of your fathers were in the military, all the men on the estate were military. You weren’t oblivious to the fact that one day all the boys in Chavaniac would grow up to become officers, it just seemed like the time had come so quickly.

Though Lafayette wasn’t called for active duty at the time of the war, the next few years were extremely hard for both of you to endure. Lafayette’s father was killed in action and his mother and grandmother as well as your own mother, all passed away due to an illness that overtook the estate in 1770. The illness had taken many people’s lives from the estate. Lafayette was left orphaned and you were left with only your father.

Lafayette inherited his parent’s fortune and residence so he was able to stay on the estate without fear of being sent away, not that any of the senior officers could bear to do that to the young man.

The next few years you spend together were blurred. Time didn’t have room to exist between the tears and pain you and Lafayette shared. You spent hours together in silence, hidden away from the world in a corner of an unoccupied library or against the rose garden. You shared a deep agony that only the other could understand or help to soothe.

It really wasn’t until you both turned 15 that you felt like all the pain you and Lafayette had endured was calming down. But you were both grown adults now and so you couldn’t go back to how things use to be. No more free evenings spent together, reading books to each other or talking for hours. Lafayette was the head of his house and given complete control now that he was old enough and had to take care of everything his parents use to run. You, however, were subjected to all womanly duties your mother used to carry out: instructing the maids, tending to your father, sowing, entertaining the few guests that would come by, sitting around all day not doing anything else.

You didn’t mind being a step in for your mother, it was an easy enough job taking care of the house while your father worked or was away. If you were lucky, you and Lafayette were still able to spend some time together, getting together whenever you could.

All seemed to be going as well as it could until the end of 1776.

-

Lafayette told you the news when you were taking a stroll together around the estate. He had sent a Page to request your company for that evening and he met you right outside your family’s residence.

You smiled when you opened the door and he beamed back at you. Lafayette had grown to be so stately and dapper, a prominent leader of the estate.

Somehow, your affections for him had grown ever more for him since you were children. He was very charming and attractive and it was very hard to not become completely enamored of him.

He turned and stuck his arm out for you. You wrapped your hand around it and set the rod of your opened parcel on your other shoulder. Lafayette began to lead you around the estate.

“You look very lovely today, Miss. Y/L/N.” He said.

You laughed, “As do you, Marquis de Lafayette.”

The affection and fondness you held for each other was palpable, grown more with age, though had never been spoken out loud.

You talked for a while and caught each other up on what was happening, which really wasn’t much.

“Y/N, I do have something to tell you,” Lafayette said as you stopped by the rose garden.

You were plucking petals from a red rose and stopped when you heard the thickness of his voice.

“Yes?” You said, frozen in place, not knowing what to expect.

“I’m-I’m leaving.” He said in a soft voice.

Fear ripped through your body. Your corset, which up until now felt was merely uncomfortable, felt like it was crushing your lungs.

“America?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

It felt like every time you spoke to Lafayette, he brought up the colonies and of the revolution there. He couldn’t seem to take his mind off of it and had told you he wanted to go there to fight, you just never thought he would really go through with it. But you knew he wouldn’t stay at the estate forever, something would eventually pull him away, either by choice or force.

“Yes. My ship is leaving soon.” He explained

Your throat felt thick and your eyes started to water. You cleared your throat and asked, “How soon, Gilbert?”

“Morning.”

You sharply inhaled and spun around to face him.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why were you keeping this from me?” Tears prickling in your eyes and hands shaking.

“I didn’t want you to be sad in the days we had left together” Lafayette explained

“Oh.” You said as tears came pouring down your face and the flower you were holding dropped to the ground.

“Oh.” You said again, voice cracked and you covered your face with your hands.

Lafayette rushed forward wrapped his arms around you and you sobbed into his jacket.

“Don’t-don’t…please. We need you here. I need – I need you here.” You begged into his chest.

Lafayette just held you, not saying a word.

You looked up at him with blurred vision and Lafayette released one of his arms to pull a handkerchief out of his pocket. He wiped your eyes and cheeks so they were tear free, though fresh ones replaced those only seconds later.

“Come now Y/N,” He whispered into your hair after returning his arm to its previous position on your back.

You simply indignantly whimpered and held Lafayette closer.

“It won’t be that long. I’ll write to you every chance I get. And I’ll think of you always.” Lafayette reassured you.

You nodded slightly and looked up at him again.

“Don’t forget me.” You begged between sobs

“Oh my darling, I could never.” He breathed and kissed you gently on the lips.

“Gilbert…I-I…” You quietly gasped, knowing what you wanted to say but not how to say it.

“Sssssh. I know.” He whispered, wiping away your tears with his hand before leaning in to kiss you again.

This man, who held your heart was leaving with it in his pocket.

[jjkookie07]

Always and Forever- Chapter 1

Jungkook x Reader ( Mayze) warlock x vampire AU

genre: Angst x Fluff x Smut

Preview / Chapter 2

March 12th 1830

Namjoon ran through the dark forest holding a precious girl ,wrapped up in a blanket, in his arms. He held her so tight pressed against his chest that Jin was afraid he might break her. The witches came and killed the girl’s mother because of Namjoon. He felt like the tiny girl will hate him forever for that, but he was not afraid of anything, as long as his little girl was safe. He wouldn’t change a thing because in the end he still had the most precious treasure, her, Mayze. His deepest fear was not that he was inadequate for fatherhood. His deepest fear is that he was powerful beyond measure when it came to her and he would do anything to see her happy. It was his light, not his darkness that most frightened him. She was his life and only she got the power to destroy him and so he ask himself if he was able to protect her innocence as long as possible. She was conceived on a red moon night when magic is so strong it could give life to anything a witch desires. And so her mother was able to break into the ancient book that contained all the spells and she ripped only a page that was going to make a vampire able to procreate. She helped him and magic was indeed born nine months later. The child remained in the small village with her mom while Namjoon was watching them protectively from afar, only visiting them once in a while bringing the child gifts from all over the world.

The child lived a quiet life in the small town. She was going to school and was playing with her friends believing that her father was an artist that was traveling across the earth to play music to the most powerful kings and queens. Until she came ,he was a reckless vampire ,thirsty for blood and with an empty heart.

 July 18th 1833

"Jimin-ah come here. The tree is so tall, I can see the entire city from up here" Mayze called for her little brother.

"Dad is going to be mad if you fall from there. Come down here" He called holding his hands around his mouth.

"You are a scaredy cat" She replied back singing the words. Jimin dropped his fists next to his body angry that his sister was going to get them in trouble. He came closer and grabbed a branch proceeding to climb up. When Jimin got closer to her she held her hand out for him to take, helping him next to her. They were the same height even if she was born first. When he was seven he got to meet his older sister. When Namjoon brought her she was so small, afraid and different. Her hazel eyes, her blonde hair, her white skin, it startled him at first but then all he wanted to do was protect her.

"You know it's unladylike like to do such boyish acts" They were both startled by Namjoon's voice as he was resting his back against the tree. "Seokjin made lunch. You better hurry if you like a hot meal" He then disappeared into the house.

"Can I sleep with you?" She stood by Namjoon’s bed waking him up by shaking his body with her small hand. He stirred in his sleep, his eyes shooting open finally setting them on the figure of his daughter that was clenching his shirt. "Sure baby" He moved closer to Seokjin and placed his arms on her waist raising her body on the air before gently placing her on the bed, under the covers. "I dreamed of the bad guys again" She whispered and nuzzled her head against Namjoon's chest. His arms were wrapped protectively around her small, frail body. "Don't worry princess they are long gone" Seokjin said, starling both Namjoon and Mayze. Ten seconds later little Jimin opened the door and walked towards the bed." I want to sleep here too" He whispered rubbing his eyes. "In the middle. The kids in the middle" Said Seokjin making Jimin crawl on top of Namjoon and then next to Seokjin. He grabbed his sister's hand and kissed it. " Don't worry. I will protect you. Hearing his words the two parents smiled as their hearts were filled with love and adoration for the bond that formed between the two little souls.

 August 20th 1834

"How did you meet Jin-appa" Jimin asked curiosity playing in his eyes as he was holding Namjoon's finger and walking back home. He took the little male on a walk through the woods in search of wild fruits.

"I met him before you were born. It was a really really cold night and I was returning from an expedition in the far lands of England. He was in front of a house on fire holding you in his arms. He was so burnt but he still refused to put the baby you down." Namjoon stopped and squatted in front of Jimin. His big arms were holding the little male's elbows. "I approached your father but he was so scared that he wouldn't let me help him. He was dying, I could see his life floating away through his eyes but he was fighting for you. I gave him to drink my blood and I took you both to my house." Namjoon wiped the tears that were running down Jimin's chubby cheeks and pulled his little body in his arms, against his chest, slowly patting his back. "How was my mommy?" The question startled Namjoon that was watching in distance with widened eyes. "That's a story that papa is going to tell you okay?" He stood up still holding Jimin and sprinted home.

"I love you Namjoon-appa"

"I love you too little man"

March 10th 1835

"Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!" Namjoon and Seokjin sang as the kids were waiting patiently in front of the baked pink and blue cakes that Seokjin kindly offered to make. It was their 10th and 12th  spring. The flowers were bloomed and the bees already invaded the big garden that was extended on 3 yards of land. This wasn't the day they were born but the day they choose to celebrate another chapter in the book filled with their memories from the year that passed. Spring suited them so well. The nature was coming back to life, fighting the horrors of the winter. It was a reminder that no matter how much evil is in this world there was still light and nothing can harm you as long as you have family. Always and forever. It was a promise they made and they were going to fulfill.

Jimin gave Mayze a small box wrapped in a silk hand-chief. Inside was a doll with red hair made of cloth. "Daddy helped me sew it because I am not allowed with sharp objects" Mayze took the doll and hugged it close to her chest. It was a very precious toy that she was going to keep forever.

"I have something for you too" She handed him a wooden box that she could barely hold. He opened it and took out from there a horse and 3 soldiers made of clay. She carefully spend the past month trying to make them look as realistic as possible. She even painted them brown,red and black. "I love them. This is amazing" He started jumping up and down next to the table. This was a night they were not going to forget.

March 10th 2009

He lit the incense and candles and placed them on his altar. Passed the sachet through the incense smoke and put it on one side, next to the body. The brunt scent invaded the room and it was making breathing difficult.

Jungkook dipped the knife in the blood then sliced the heart right in the middle. The blood dripping from the heart was mixing with the one in his bowl. He dipped the tip of his fingers in the bowl and wiped them in strange shapes along the man's body while repeating " Three times three, Now set me free.Free me from my dark despair. Uncross! Uncross! I break this curse. But let not my simple spell reverse I wish no ill, nor wish him pain I wish only to be free again." The man opened his eyes and stood up from the table. Jungkook just performed an exorcism spell on the mayor of the city freeing him from the dark demon that was controlling his body, making him kill almost half of the city.

"You've got really great powers there little boy." The mother said to her 12 years old son. Jungkook smiled and took a towel to clean the mess from his hands. "I want to be the greatest warlock that ever lived on Earth." He confessed his goal to the women.

"And you will be my dear."

 September 2nd 2010

As he was walking back from the woods with his backpack full of plants and rocks he felt like he was followed. He turned around but none was there. Jungkook stopped and let out a piercing scream, releasing a great power that sent the vampire that was behind him flying away, impaling him on a branch. There was nothing that was scaring him ,the vampires always came but not even one got the privilege to touch him. He arrived home but the door was ripped off. He threw his backpack and ran inside. The scene in front of him was going to mark him for the eternity. Three wolves pulling his mother apart. Instead of crying like a normal child at his age would, he raised his arms above his back and closed his eyes whispering "Ventum veni, da mihi potestatem. Perdere omnia." A strong wind formed, flying the wolves away in their human form with deep cuts across their bodies. Jungkook walked closer to her and caressed her bloody face that was unrecognizable . His mother was holding tightly in her palm a bracelet that he took and placed it in his pocket. He needed to consecrate her so her power will go to the ancestors. A little boy was arranging the funeral of his mother.

May 14th 2016

Namjoon looked at Mayze with cold eyes. His fist was clenching tighter and tighter seeing the rebellious attitude of his daughter. She looked at him still trying to look confident despite the fear that was sending chills down her spine. She loved him but now she was wondering if he loved her. Her own father trapped her into a marriage she did not want. Hoseok was a real gentleman and he loved her despite being rejected several times. He could wait for her because true love can't rush in, and her was someone Hoseok wanted to hold forever.

"Why are you looking at me like that, father?" She asked leaning more comfortable in the big chair across the fireplace.

"You are disrespecting your husband." Namjoon motioned towards Hoseeok that was busy putting more wood on the fire. The smell of brunt wood was invading the big open living-room.

"And you are disrespecting me" She fired back. "I would not be able to look at him and not remember that it was your choice. You could have at least compelled me" She was talking calmly trying to hit the nail and make her father angry.

Seeing that her father wasn’t going to reply to her,suddenly she stood up, turned around and walked out the door. Hoseok  stood up as well and followed her out the doors.

"Don't follow me!" She yelled hearing his steps close behind.

"Hey! Give me a second. Please, let me tell you how I feel" He grabbed her elbow to stop her ,turning her around to face him. His hands were placed securely on her lower back forcing her to stay pressed against his chest.

"Talk..." She shuttered unable to look at him in the eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you okay? I just want you to understand that I really want to have a family with you. I was also left heartbroken by someone. I had her in my mind for centuries and then I saw you. You took my breath away. I have never seen someone so beautiful. Your eyes hide such sadness that I want to erase and replace it with joy. I want your cheeks to hurt from smiling. The witch made the bond marriage but it's us that will make this least forever. "

Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult. The world changes but we are not. We just try to keep up with it, to survive to get used to every new thing. How long does that take? What if the world changes everyday? We get trapped in the new universe and in our run to accumulate information, we lose ourselves. We should just pick up from the world what suits us. So we don't have to change everyday. She saw kings raise and fall, she saw people have power then being consumed by it. Now she was wondering if all this is worth it without love? Is it worth living an eternity playing pretend with someone your father decided to bond you with? She was torn between being the perfect daughter and having what she always craved for, love, love, love. She had so much love to give and it was making new cracks on her heart everyday. What if she could love Hoseok? But what if she couldn't?

June 17th 2017

"Kookie" Taehyung called the younger male that was slowly walking on the side of the road. "I need more daylight rings" He said and grabbed Jungkook's shoulders to stop him.

"How many?" Jungkook asked slowly raising and eyebrow, intrigued by the older male's request.

"About 50 or more." Taehyung saw the shock on Jungkook face and felt the need to explain. "I need an army.I need power to control the city."

"Do you realize how many stones you need? " Jungkook pushed past Taehyung and started walking towards the city.

"I do and I have them. And as for power you can chanel someone really powerful." Taehyung said appearing again in front of Jungkook.

"Like whom?"

"Namjoon"

Hearing the name, a smile creeped its way on Jungkook's face. "I actually wanted to go and make an alliance with him. We have a deal."

"I will send someone to bring you the money and the stones" Taehyung called after his friend that was moving further and further away, towards New Orleans"

July 28th 2017

"We have a dinner tonight" announced Seokjin earning the attention of everyone in the room. "We always have dinner like at night, that's when we eat dinner." Hoseok replied making Mayze laugh.

"Well we have a more special dinner. There is a new warlock in town and we'd like to keep him on our side." Namjoon completed what Seokjin just said.

"Is it safe to bring Hana?" Jimin asked being concerned about his daughter's safety.

"I can stay at home with her. I am not in mood for family quality time" Yoongi offered. Him and Namjoon never really got along. Maybe it was because all he cared about was Hana and Jimin and Namjoon was always a control freak. He remembered well how he laughed when they expressed their desire to adopt a human child. He was against it at the beginning but seeing how bubbly and adorable Hana was he gave in the role of grandfather, always spoiling the little girl with everything she desires and her parents were not going to give it to her.

"Okay so it's set. We will actually need to cook. He is human." Seokjin walked happily towards the kitchen followed by Mayze and Jimin. “ Actually he is a witch that eats human food” said Jimin. “You make it sound like <he is a cat that eats dog food>” Mayze mocked Jimin, earning a slap on the arm with a spatula. “ Seokjin! Jimin is hitting me with your new spatula” Mayze called for her father in a fake crying voice.

As they were waiting for their guest the large dinning room was filled with a calm melody from the grand piano placed in the corner of the room. The whole house was decorated in rococo style. Every piece of furniture being white and gold. Everything was spotless no dust no blood spots on the floor from the natural lunch Namjoon delighted himself with. Suddenly the three meters doors were opened against the wall and a black shadow made its way inside. The stranger took off his hood and smiled at  everyone that was eyeing him from head to toe. 

“I was born on the night of Samhain, with both dark and white magic inside me. I am the new warlock in the quarter and I may be your ally and your friend in the darkest hour and offer you my powers to protect your loved ones” Jungkook said walking closer towards the table.

[individuationfic]

Seeking to Seize Chapter 21

AO3

The fog is gone.

That’s all Chie can think, staring at the clear blue sky. She didn't’ realize how much she missed it.

She, Yukiko, and Rise have been tasked with escorting Yu home while Kanji, Yosuke, Naoto, and Teddie take Adachi to the police station. Yukiko managed to stop the bleeding and Yu is awake again, but he’s still weak, and he still needs to be patched up. “No cooking!” was Yosuke’s only demand as they dragged him away. “You can help him with anything else but all of you stay out of the kitchen! He’ll never feel better if he eats your food!”

The girls manage to get Yu upstairs and into his bed with only a little difficulty (they’ve been getting stronger in the TV, too), and Yukiko, who’s had to deal with drunk and sick guests before, strips him down to his underwear. Chie feels sick to her stomach when she sees his bloodstained shirt and the nasty scratch on his side, but Yukiko is all business. She sends Rise to the bathroom downstairs for the first aid kit and Chie to get washcloths and a bucket of warm water.

They’ve had to do stuff like this before. Magic can’t heal everything, after all, and they can’t risk going to the hospital with their injuries because their parents would find out. Everyone but Rise, who isn’t combative, and Teddie, who can’t manifest his human form in the TV, will have scars for the rest of their lives.

Chie and Rise step out into the hallway while Yukiko works, and Chie sends Yosuke a text to let him know they got Yu home safe. She wishes she could’ve gone with them—seeing Adachi face the music for herself would’ve been cathartic as hell. But they all know Adachi would be harder to control if the girls went; he was angry and hurt and he would be more liable to lash out if they were there due to his rampant misogyny.

To distract herself, Chie turns to Rise and says, “We should wash those clothes for him when Yukiko’s done in there. Could you take that shirt to Kanji after we get that stain out for him to mend? The jacket, too.”

Rise seems to retreat in on herself. “Uh… I…” She can’t finish what she wants to say.

“Hey.” Chie wraps an arm around Rise’s shoulder and squeezes. “What’s up? We should be celebrating. What’s eating at you?”

As if the words have been waiting to escape her throat, Rise says, “Kanji-kun kissed me the night Nanako-chan almost died, and then he told me he likes me and Naoto-san, and now he wants to talk about it and I don’t know what to do.”

Aaaaand now she’s crying. Crap. Chie exerts a little pressure against Rise’s back with her arm. “How about we go downstairs to talk about this? We don’t wanna distract Yukiko, right? Maybe we can do some practice for tomorrow!”

Still shaking, and with tears in her eyes, Rise nods, and Chie leads her down the stairs.

Yu’s still in no shape for visitors, even after Yukiko’s done with them, so the team decides to postpone their debriefing for another day. Yukiko and Chie walk a teary-eyed Rise back to her grandmother’s shop. They make small talk with the older woman to distract her from her granddaughter’s emotional distress and, out of the corner of her eye, Yukiko sees the calendar on the desk.

December 24.

Christmas Eve.

Heart in her throat, Yukiko decides to give Chie her gift.

They leave the tofu shop and head for the bus stop. The shopping district is pretty empty, considering the date and the fog having disappeared, so Yukiko risks slipping her hand into Chie’s. Chie goes red and squeezes back.

The bus won’t be coming for another ten minutes or so, so they settle against the side of a shop facing towards the road to wait. Chie’s phone buzzes with a text and a delighted smile crosses her face when she reads it. “The police arrested Adachi!” she says. “Yosuke showed them a bruise on his neck from the fight and Adachi admitted to hitting him, so he’s getting charged with at least child abuse. Maybe even assault.”

“Do you think he’ll get charged with the murders?”

Chie squints at her phone. “Naoto seems to think so. The courts are aggressive when it comes to multiple murders, they say. He might even—” Chie stops, face suddenly pale. She takes a deep, gulping breath. “He might even get the death penalty.”

“Oh,” says Yukiko.

On one hand, she feels relieved. The man who organized her kidnapping with the intent for her to die is going to be punished for his crimes, and, if found guilty of everything he did, will never be able to hurt people again. No one else would have to suffer like her and her friends have because of Adachi. But on the other hand,s she and the people she loves most in the world have delivered a man to his possible death. An evil man, a man who has done horrible things, a man who chose to do wrong—but also a man who was a child. Once, with parents and friends. Does anyone really have the authority to kill anyone else?

Chie must notice Yukiko’s conflict, because she says, “I’m glad. I hope he hangs. I’d kill him with a rusty spoon and take relish in it.” Yukiko looks at her girlfriend, eyes wide at the bloodthirsty tone in her voice. “He almost took you away from me. I’ll never forgive him for that.”

Yukiko squeezes Chie’s hand. “Oh,” she says again, and decides not to give Chie her Christmas present just yet.

Mama Tatsumi lets Rise into Kanji-kun’s room without much fuss. She’d stuffed Yu-senpai’s shirt and jacket in her bag before she left his house, and had only returned to her grandmother’s shop to wash her face and make herself look presentable. “I’ll send him right up as soon as he gets home!” Mama Tatsumi says, eyes twinkling. “Make yourself at home!”

Rise settles on a cushion near Kanji-kun’s desk to wait and grips at the straps of her bag until her knuckles turn white. Would he even want to see her? She thinks she made him mad yesterday; who could blame him if he tells her to get out?

Stop thinking like that, Himiko says. You will accomplish nothing but making yourself more stressed.

Rise knows better than to argue at this point (Himiko always wins, anyway) so she nods and takes a deep breath. Calm down, she tells herself. It’s Kanji-kun. He deserves an honest conversation about this. The nasty, doubting voice in the back of her head tries to speak up, but she squashes it. I’ve had just about enough of this whole “self-doubt” thing, she thinks, and her anger is justified by Himiko’s pleased hum.

She hears heavy footfalls rushing up the stairs and before her heart has time to accelerate in anticipation, Kanji-kun is throwing open his door, face red. “Rise.”

Rise raises a hand in a weak greeting. “Hi, Kanji-kun.” The tail end of her words lilt up, making it sound more like a question than anything else. God, she feels like an idiot. She just saw him a few hours ago! She has no reason to be acting so shy. When Kanji-kun doesn’t reply, she reaches into her bag to retrieve her excuse. “I, uh, brought Yu-senpai’s clothes for you. To mend, I mean, not to wear. They got pretty beat up during the fight.” She sets the shirt and jacket on his desk. “We did our best to get the blood out before it got too stained, but none of us can sew as well as you can.”

Kanji-kun doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. He just keeps staring at her. And she’s used to being stared at, but somehow this is different. Because usually the stares are an annoyance, but Kanji-kun’s means something else.

Steeling herself, Rise says, “I like you a lot, Kanji-kun, but I refuse to be someone’s second choice. I’m worth more than that.” Carefully, because her legs are on the verge of falling asleep, she stands. “My agency is pushing. Asking if I’m coming back to idol work. And I love my work, but I think I love you more. I’d give it up for you.” Her throat burns from the truth coming from her lips. “But you have to make a decision.” She moves to leave the room.

His fingers curl in the crook of her elbow and she stops. “Tomorrow,” he says, voice rough. “After the Christmas party at Senpai’s.”

Her breath catches in her throat. Somehow she manages to say, “Okay.”

Yu knows this is stupid of him.

Like, really stupid. It’s almost midnight and he’s still pretty beat up, but here he is, walking through the streets of Inaba towards the Velvet Room.

The others are planning a Christmas party at his uncle’s house for tomorrow. It’s supposed to be a surprise for him, but as much as he loves his friends, none of them are good at sneaking around. Sure, he’s deaf, but that doesn’t stop him from noticing the decorations Chie tries to hide in the linen closet or the dirtied mixing bowls left on the drying rack from the girls’ practice.

He slept for most of the afternoon and, as a result, can’t fall asleep now. This sleeplessness led to irrational thoughts, which has led him here.

Margaret is surprised to see him. ‘It’s late,’ she signs, ‘and you were injured today.’ He doesn’t bother asking how she knows that, because he knows he won’t get a straight answer. ‘You should be resting.’

Yu shrugs. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’ She glances around. ‘Is Igor away again?’

‘His master called to him.’

He feels his eyes widen. ‘Igor has a master? I thought he was the one in charge.’

‘Igor does not have as much power as you think he does. He is little more than a doll his master created.’ She pauses, like she’s giving him time to reply, then continues, ‘I am still loyal to Igor, as he is my master, and I am loyal to you, as you are my guest. I have no such obligation towards Igor’s master. I will stand by you before I stand by him.’

‘That’s… good to know,” Yu signs after a pause, head spinning.

‘Forgive my rambling.’ Margaret looks embarrassed now. She probably hadn’t meant to reveal so much. ‘Was there a reason for your visit aside from insomnia?’

‘I feel restless,’ he admits. ‘It’s hard to believe it’s over. I mean, I’m happy Adachi’s going to answer for his crimes, but something tells me this isn’t over.’

‘Trust your instincts. Wild Cards tend to be more observant than usual. Don’t give up your pursuit of the truth because things seem to be complete.’

He breathes out a sigh of relief. ‘Thank you. I thought I was just being paranoid.’

Margaret’s lips turn up in a smile. ‘I’m happy to help. Was there anything else? You really should go home and get some rest.’

‘My friends and I are having a Christmas party at my uncle’s house tomorrow,’ he signs. ‘You can come by if you want.’

Something flashes in her eyes, too quick for Yu to read. ‘Maybe. Good night.’

‘Good night.’ Yu blinks and he’s back in Inaba, suddenly much more tired than he was before. He yawns and starts the trek back home.

[little-narnian-notes]

Walk Through Ghosts

Request: If it’s not a bother could I please have a one shot where the reader is engaged to Edmund and how she reacts when the *cough* tragic train scene happens? Lolol I hope it’s not too much I just haven’t seen any stories with this particular situation.

Okay. So. According to the books/what I’ve found online, Lucy and Edmund spent the summer of 1942 with Eustace and his family. And as far as I can tell, the train scene happened in 1949 or so. I kind of combined both the movie timeline and book timeline at various points based on what I felt the oneshot needed, so let’s just say that Lucy and Edmund stayed with Eustace in 1944, and died in 1947. BECAUSE WHY NOT.

Also, I kept trying to start a oneshot with the two of them engaged, but it was kind of hard for me to do that with no backstory/all monologuing about the past before I got to the request, so I decided the request might be better fulfilled/more angst-ridden if I wrote about what happened before the train scene and taking the reader through that as well.

Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/N', document.getElementById("inputTxt").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Your nickname: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler2() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt2").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('YN/N', document.getElementById("inputTxt2").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Your eye color: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler3() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt3").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/E/C', document.getElementById("inputTxt3").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Your hair color: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler4() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt4").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/H/C', document.getElementById("inputTxt4").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

---

You and Edmund had met when you were sixteen, and he was seventeen. It was by complete accident. During the war, you’d been relocated to a small family in Cambridge. Just when it seemed like things were going to become even worse, you’d met him. Lucky for you, your older sister, Stella, had been able to stay with the same family as you. Stella had started tutoring a girl two years younger then you named Lucy.

It had never really occurred to you to ask how the tutoring was going until you had to run to the Scrubbs’ household to drop off a textbook Stella had forgotten

(You were breathless, trying to make it there as quickly as possible. But you were still trying to not draw attention to yourself, like your running would make you a bomb-target.

And when you’d gotten there, after you’d knocked, after a boy you didn’t know opened the door: “Hi, I’m Y/N; just needed to drop this off for Stella’s tutoring session with Lucy. I’ve got the right house, yeah?”

He coughed, said, “Yeah. I’m Edmund. Her older brother. I’ll just drop it off there in the living room. I’m sure Estelle will be grateful.”

Estelle.

Nobody called Stella by her full, actual name besides your parents.

Estelle.

So he wasn’t interested in her at all. Edmund didn’t say your sister’s name like she was more precious and pure then starlight.

You smiled, said bye, and turned, hips swaying minutely before you forced yourself to stop that. So you could get interested in him. Stella had never mentioned that the older Pevensies were an attractive lot. If Lucy really had two other older siblings, what were they like?)

It wasn’t long before Edmund asked you out. Of course, it’d taken him a month, but, still.

(“Hey, again,” Edmund said.

You shrugged. “We meet again, Pevensie.” This time, Edmund was at your home, on your doorstep. “Come in, it’s cold out.” Stella had fallen into the slightly unlucky role of having to babysit Lucy before and after their tutoring session. The three of you went to the same boarding school - Stella would be graduating this year. Lucy was one of the new lots. You still had a year or so until your A-levels. “They’re done with geography and maths. I could make you a tea to go or something, if you want.” Edmund was the one who always came to collect Lucy, when she was here for tutoring.

“Thanks. That sounds nice.” Edmund followed you to the kitchen.

It’d been a month since you’d met him, and you hadn’t really had any long conversations with him. It was too hard to think of how you could become better acquainted when your lives and worlds didn’t connect, never overlapped, besides the tutoring that bound your sisters for a finite amount of time.  

As you made the tea, Edmund spoke casually. “If it’s not too much trouble for you, Y/N, I was wondering if you’d want to go to Roasted Bean sometime? I heard they have a nice apple danish.”

Apple danishes were your favorite snack. Your movements didn’t slow or stop, but they nearly did, and you wanted to scream, you were so excited. You’d developed a horribly big attraction towards Edmund. “I’d like that,” you replied, and yes, you got infinitely more warm and tingly.)

After that, the two of you were as inseparable as you could manage. By the time the school year came to a close, another summer had fallen onto England. The bombings were still going on, of course, it being 1944. One had fallen onto a house two doors down from the one you were staying in on your birthday, during an air raid.

Later on, when a man parachuted down with supplies, Mrs. Stoll, yours and Stella’s caretaker, sent you out with hurried, sharp hands to get as much of the parachute as possible. The material could be used for a variety of things.

You felt badly about this looking back, but at the time, everything going on felt like background noise to the love story called your life that was blooming across each page in bright ink. Nearly day Edmund surprised you. Usually it was just flowers, or a sweet little letter. You kept the flowers in a vase in your room, the letters hidden in a box underneath your bed.

At boarding school, you’d made a few friends - Alice, Poppy, Christine, Eve, and Jessica. Sometimes they came around for tea. Sometimes you went to their house and you’d stay up late dancing around in no lyons to songs that came on the radio. Jessica liked singers like Ella Fitzgerald, Jimmy Dorsey, Dinah Shore, and Bing Crosby.

You didn’t care what was on as long it was upbeat and fast-paced.

It was hard to remember that Poppy liked shopping and going to the zoo, that Alice liked cucumber and cream sandwiches and didn’t like sewing. It was hard to remember that Christine had never had a boyfriend and she got up each morning to pluck at flower petals before cleaning. That Eve spent near all her time reading and studying so that she could be the very best student at boarding school - when she wasn’t being studious, she was accepting invitations (written back in forgery) sent to her father so she could go to dance with high powered men.

It was hard to remember all that because you were so wrapped up in Edmund.

(“Come on, Y/N,” Alice practically moaned over the phone. “My mum’s driving me mad! I must get out of this house sooner or later. And you’ve spent the entire week totally secluded with Stella, Lucy, and Edmund.”

You noticed she didn’t bother pointing out that Jessica was the only one who still saw you semi-regularly. Jess was the one friend you had that didn’t make you want to keel over and die. “I’m sorry, Alice,” you replied, trying to sound sincere. “I mean it. Let’s do something tomorrow, alright? We can go to the cinema, or feed the ducks in the park. Maybe Christine and Eve can come too, if they’ve got the time and pocket money to spare.”

“Alright,” Alice sighed. She sounded a bit more placated, and you sighed silently, relieved

The next day was boring; you feed the ducks and Alice stood some feet away, twirling her lacy parasol. She was dressed to the nines in fine clothing, looking like a pretty doll that had become human. Her pale blond hair was curled and fluffed just so so that it framed her face and spilled down her back.

You looked up at her and asked, amused, “Are you going to feed them, Alice? Or do you just like coming here so you can watch them be vicious bastards to me?”

Alice winced and you remembered that she didn’t like vulgar language. Sometimes it was easy to forget; you’d grown up in a rough neighborhood. “I like coming to the ponds. You like feeding the ducks. Remember, Y/N? I think it’s a very scenic place to come and chat with friends.”

It was hard to forget that she was a very particular, fussy friend at times, usually picky and quiet. But her disposition was something you could usually deal with.

“Come on,” you said, throwing the rest of the bread into the pond for the ducks to fight over. “Let’s go walk, then. You can tell me more about Emilia.” Alice’s aunt Emilia tended to stir up drama in her family.)

You made an effort to see your friends more, and sometimes went to the cinema on a double-date with Jessica and her beau, Octavian. Everybody called him Ian as a nickname. Christine probably would have come as well, but her fiancé, Mark, was fighting in the war.

Things seemed to go relatively well between the two of you, up until a particular summer day in late July. Before July 27th, the two of you had spent evenings sitting out on a porch, quietly talking. Or you’d take a walk, usually unchaperoned, and play guessing games surrounding what the lives of passerby’s might be like. You’d play chess together a lot, or comb through newspapers together. The two of you liked the crossword puzzles; you’d do half while Edmund skimmed the news, then you’d switch so he could finish and you’d become more up to date news-wise. There were days when you’d go to a bookstore and pick out one surprise book for each other, or try to cook something.

Somehow you two never ran out of ideas. Half the time Lucy was involved in the activities, and the only reason you ever resented her presence was because you couldn’t kiss Edmund. You and Edmund both held the belief that the most public affection that should be displayed should be handholding. So it was hard to resist the impulse to kiss him less chastely, to let him touch you in places you’d never even touched yourself in equal parts thrill and fear.

Then, July 27th happened. Edmund was busy during the day, helping Lucy to run errands and pick up groceries for their aunt and uncle. He’d said he’d come by later to help you find some required texts for your upcoming classes that year at school… and then he never came.

It wasn’t the fact that he’d essentially forgotten about your plans, it was that certain things were made tense afterwards.

(“Y/N, are you sure you’re alright?” Stella asked. She’d looked up from her sewing project for the fifth time that afternoon.

You sighed and shrugged, frustrated. “I just don’t understand where Edmund is!” you burst out. “It’s not like him to keep me waiting. He said he’d meet me here at four o’clock and it’s been an hour, Stella.” It was safe to say that sometimes you had a temper, especially on days like today when everything seemed to be going absolutely wrong.

“Then go by Alberta’s house, Y/N,” Stella replied in exasperation. “The pacing is unbecoming.” She didn’t bother adding that your somewhat bratty behavior was as well.

“I will, then, in that case,” you grumped. You grabbed your small purse, put your house-key into it, and then stalked out. Walking to Alberta and Harold Scrubbs’ house took about twenty-five minutes. By the time you got there, you were a bit less annoyed, though you hadn’t quite let go of your confusion and general irritableness.

You knocked on the door and were let in by Alberta, who said they were all upstairs. Once you were up there, you knocked on Lucy’s bedroom door. She opened it, looking a bit hyped up and unfocused.

“I - oh! Y/N! Hi. What are you doing here?” asked Lucy.

You had to stop yourself from pursing your lips. It’s not Lucy I’m angry at, you reminded yourself. “Is Edmund here?” you asked her.

“Yes, of course,” Lucy told you, stepping back. She rubbed at her face a bit.

You walked into the room, looked at him - and Eustace, who was also in the room and seemed radically different from how he usually was, though you couldn’t say why. “Ed. We were supposed to meet up an hour ago. If you didn’t want to meet up, you could have just called. I had to cancel a lot of other plans.”

Edmund frowned. “What time is it? I didn’t forget about - ah.”

“About helping me find some required texts. For school,” you reminded him. You didn’t understand why he was having trouble remembering. It had been only that morning that you two made plans to meet up later.

“Listen, Y/N, I’m sorry. I really am. I just - I just got caught up in some other things, okay? We’ve been, just.” Edmund seemed to be struggling with what to say or how to say it. He exchanged a look with his sister and cousin.

Eustace looked at you mildly. “Ed and Lucy have been helping me understand my atrocious behavior. I think I had an amazingly huge breakthrough. I’m sorry I’ve been so absolutely horrid. And awful,” he said calmly, if a bit breathless.

You sighed, irritated again. “Thanks, Eustace. Apology accepted.” You turned to face Edmund. “Just - you know what? Fine. I’ll just head back home.” You felt like there were two conversations happening then at the same time. There was one the three of them were having, and the one you were actually participating in.)

You and Edmund had a bit of a rough patch after that day. You didn’t know how Edmund and Lucy had gotten Eustace to have a 180-degree personality change, but apparently they had. None of them would explain how exactly it’d happened, or why.

There were a lot of instances when your boyfriend wasn’t talkative. He’d just stare off, lost in his own world, even when he was with you. You heard snippets of conversations between him and Lucy about someone named Caspian, about some ship they’d sailed on called the Dawn Treader and tipping over the edge of the world.

You had no idea what they were talking about, because you knew them well, and could confirm that you’d never heard them talk about Caspian. It made you wonder why they were hiding it from you, why Eustace’s change seemed so permanent, whether Edmund was really Edmund or not. The one question that remained was whether Peter or Susan knew their two younger siblings talked about.

It made you feel paranoid because you were scared. Sometimes it felt like Edmund was completely out of your league. Despite how much you loved him already, there were times when you saw other girls looking at him, or him making a random joke or reference too subtle for you to understand, but obvious enough that you knew you were missing something. And, yeah, it bothered you a lot. Edmund was a private person, but he told you everything. Or so you’d thought.

Eventually, though, you decided that it just didn’t matter. You weren’t going to let it matter anymore. It wasn’t as if you’d told him everything, either, and besides. There was the war. Something like that was going to affect everything. Hadn’t Edmund and his siblings lived in the countryside before coming to Cambridge? Maybe they were just referencing deeply private things that had happened there.

(It was midnight. Edmund had snuck into your room; your head was nestled into the crook of his neck, and your bodies, still reasonably clothed, were twined together like ivy curling up a brick wall. You’d never really known what it felt like to know a heartbeat could be home until now.

“You know, tomorrow’s going to be our one year anniversary,” Edmund commented offhandedly. His voice was laced with sleep.

You stirred a bit out of your doze. “Really? Didn’t know you were keeping track.” Your tone is teasing, though a lot more tired then his. It’d been a long day for you, full of cleaning and such, and some pent-up energy. It was April 23, 1945. Some people thought the war might end this year. You thought that if it didn’t - or if it did - you’d find a way to marry Edmund. To bind yourselves together, irrevocably.

“Well, I knew we got together in the spring… turns out Lucy was keeping track. Don’t know why. She has a thing about dates.” He shrugged, or tried to. “You know how some people collect bottle caps or marbles? Lu likes writing down important events and their dates. Obsessively.”

You mumbled out a laugh. “I suppose we should do something?”

“I’ll think of something special, Y/N,” Edmund promised you.

He kept his word. The next day he was gone all day. At some point you’d fallen asleep during the night, lulled to darkness by the familiarity of his heartbeat and the murmurings of city noises. It was Saturday, so you dozed until eleven and then spent the day puttering around after going to an art class with Eve.

You put on a light jacket and a summer dress with smart little black shoes at seven, as Edmund had left a note on your desk instructing you that there would be a date night tonight.

He took you to a nice dinner, and you joked around. There was a walk at your favorite park after a small concert composed of his favorite jazz band that you both attended. Eventually the walk led to rose petals, which led to a lit gazebo.

Edmund proposed to you in the middle. You said yes. You were seventeen, your entire life shining on your lips. Edmund was eighteen.)

After the proposal, you both agreed to keep it utterly quiet. Family-wise, only Stella, Lucy, and Eustace knew. They supported your engagement with Edmund a hundred percent. Out of all your friends, you trusted only Jessica to keep quiet about this, and you soon realized you were right. She was the friend who was quiet and trustworthy, someone you wanted in your life in the long-run. Maybe as your only bridesmaid besides Lucy. Stella would be your maid of honor; Eustace would have to fulfill whatever role Edmund wanted.

Surprisingly, Edmund admitted he hadn’t told Susan. You’d met Peter, the eldest Pevensie, and while you weren’t close to him by any means, you were friends, and he was glad that Edmund was happy. Peter had told you once that Edmund was far older then he seemed

(“Ed has an old soul, Y/N. I’d be glad if you always care for him. He’s been through a lot; more then you may ever know.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Peter?” You frowned at him, lowering your Italian soda.

He just sighed, shook his head. “It’s … complicated. And maybe it’s not my place to say. Edmund will tell you in his own time.”).

As far as you knew, Peter, Edmund, and Lucy seemed to love Susan a great deal, but their relationships with her seemed strained. No one would say why, of course, which made it all the more strange and infuriating to you. Whether or not she’d come to the wedding seemed to remain entirely up to her.

Susan was a mysterious figure in your opinion. She was beauty and grace with tragedy written in her skin.

You’d spent the school year trying to keep your grades up, passing notes, participating in a few shenanigans, and placing bets on various bits of school drama. Would Mary become pregnant this year? Or were the rumors of her sleeping around just rumors? Either way, you tried to be her friend (that backfired spectacularly). And would James finally achieve his dream of going on to join the military?

The school year was a lot more eventful not just because of what was happening inside the academic world, though. You were also trying to discreetly plan a wedding with Edmund’s help. You wanted an outdoor wedding; he wanted one in a church. It was hard to navigate through the compromises, but with the help of your siblings and Eustace, those were being made, along with everything else.

The main problems you were both running into was telling your parents, and finding the funds to pay for the wedding. Edmund said that his parents were in America on a trip; Susan had gone with them. Your parents were back in Newcastle upon Tyne. The Pevensies lived in London, nearly four hours away. If you weren’t married now, it would be hard to maintain a long-distance relationship, especially when you still hadn’t mentioned anything to your parents about dating Edmund (partly because you couldn’t get hold of them, and even if you could, you still wouldn’t tell. In your family, like in most English families, personal business was yours alone until it wasn’t).

You were a seventeen year old girl growing in the midst of a huge world war - things weren’t much better for Edmund, who was a year older then you. He couldn’t get drafted to the war as he had Lucy and Eustace to look after (their aunt and uncle weren’t exactly much help, despite their quiet, fussy ways).

Besides. Part of you was scared. You knew you didn’t want to be with anybody else - Edmund was meant to be your husband, and you his wife, now and always.  And you definitely weren’t getting cold feet. Things weren’t being rushed (on the contrary, the wedding plans were moving excruciatingly slowly, thanks to the war). It was more just that you knew it would be seen as scandalous; people would ask when you were expecting, or if Edmund was forcing you into this in a very roundabout way. You just wished the reactions would be different, but they weren’t going to change your decision to marry him.

(“Do you ever wonder what people will say when we become married?” you asked Edmund one day. His nineteenth birthday was in a few months, and part of you hoped that the two of you would be married by then.

Ed just looked at you, a bit unfocused. He’d obviously been very deeply invested in the book he was reading, which he’d just put down. “No, of course not, Y/N. You’re the person I want to be with.” He didn’t add forever. It was implied.

You shifted on the couch. “I know, but… we still haven’t told our parents. You haven’t asked my father for his blessing.”

“I thought you said that wasn’t important and to screw tradition,” he replied, frowning. “Do you want me to ask him?”

“No! No. It’s - I’ll deal with him, when I go back home,” you said. If I ever make it back home, you thought uneasily. How long could the war last?

Edmund pulled you close. “Then what’s the problem, YN/N?”

You sighed. “Nothing, Edmund. I’m just not looking forward to what people will say.”

He laughed a bit. “We should say we’re having triplets just for their expressions.”

“You’re awful,” you replied, giggling. But the thought of having children with Edmund some day made you tingly. Part of you wondered how soon you’d have little ones running around, and part of you was squirming uncomfortably at the thought.)

Things were starting to come together with the surprising help of Aunt Alberta when the war ended in September of 1945. You were shuffled back home in the first week of October, and Edmund was back in London a few days before you’d left for home. He promised to write you as often as possible, and talked about taking a trip up to see you for New Year’s Eve. He’d suggested that the two of you tell your parents about the engagement then.

(“Maybe it won’t be as much of a big shock as you think,” Stella said one night. “Mum and Father know he’s courting you, and you’d be expected to marry much sooner rather then later.”

Neither of you pointed out the obvious: your parents would be more then a little annoyed, even if they expected you married by twenty.

“If you say so, Stel,” you replied uncertainly. You were both back home, sitting on her bed. “I just hope it goes well. It’s only two months away, you know. December. I’m not even sure what to get anybody for Christmas, or if I should just handmade everything to save up for the wedding.”

“Save your money.” She brushed out her hair. “You’ll need it for your new home and what have you.”

The truth was that you hadn’t even thought about that. Where would you both live once the honeymoon was over?)

The real truth was that you’d never find out. No plans had been finalized about where you’d live because Edmund died in late November. It broke your heart. The train wreck had been a week and a half after his nineteenth birthday. You were the one to confirm that his body was his, and you could barely hold it together. Susan was there, too, to say that yes, that Eustace, and yes, those were her parents, her siblings…

It was sickening to you, in a way, that death was what brought Susan into your life and vice versa. You’d heard so much implied about her, and so little was actually told to you, that you didn’t know what to expect from her. She seemed like an ice princess until she saw the bodies, and then you saw the ice shattered. Only to be reborn in an iron castle.

Susan was closed off. If she was a mess, she hid it well, up until you came to visit the first time.

(“You don’t understand,” Susan said, hiccuping. She wiped her face. “After… there was a time when we all went to boarding school together. Before I went to America and Lucy and Edmund went to stay in Cambridge. After that - things happened there, but after that, Y/N, things were never quite the same.”

You looked at her. “What do you mean? What happened that drove you apart?”

She laughed, then, hysterical. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. God, that was what the professor told us - Professor Kirke, when I was fifteen. I had to see it myself, and even now I wonder if any of that could have been real. You have no idea the damage it does to you, having so many good accomplishments taken away from you and being forced back into the middle of a war you didn’t ask for and you’re helpless to stop.”

“You’re not making any sense, Susan,” you told her, frustration and concern lacing your voice as you squeezed her hand.)

It felt like you were only present when you were around Susan, and even then, it was hard. The funeral had been awful. You almost didn’t go. Susan was going, though, so you decided to go for her, though you’d never find a damn bit of closure there.

Neither did she, of course, but you both silently agreed to never mention that.

In December, you went up to stay with her for some of the holidays, and your parents didn’t object. They were already concerned about your behavior - sometimes you refused food for a week, too emotionally sick to eat. Most of the time you moved robotically through things. Your parents were worried but emotionally distant. They’d grown up in an entirely different time, and so when faced with this loss, you couldn’t verbalize what you were feeling. You knew you were a mess, and you’d never felt more isolated then you did just then.

Nobody knew you’d lost not just Edmund, your fiancé, but you’d also lost all your friends except for Eve, due to the train wreck. Eve wasn’t much better off then you were, so you never spoke to her. You barely spoke to anybody except Susan and Stella.

It was hard to breathe, to eat, to focus.

Everything you’d started planning for, the future you were forming your life around, was gone. You had no idea how to cope, but being with Susan made things marginally better. You vowed to yourself that you would never re-marry. The thought of being with anybody else made you sick. Nobody had been there for you the way Edmund had, so how could anybody else be better for you, as your mother suggested?

You spent a lot of time sending letters to Susan, thick piles that were sent off to Liverpool, where she lived now. She replied with responses as long as yours, and you spent the next three years trying to see her in person as often as you both could. Sometimes it wasn’t even the fact that you missed her. It was just that Susan bore some of the same genetics as Edmund had; she had the same last name. She’d grown up with him.

Susan could shallowly fill a hole inside you that death had dug.

Sometimes she told you stories about Edmund, Peter, and Lucy during your visits. Sometimes you talked about everything but her family during others. When the latter happened during visits, it felt like every sentence you both spoke had a hidden meaning relating back to Susan’s siblings. You spent hours later trying to decode everything only to end up wondering if you were slightly mad, or just obsessively grieving.

—

Years passed. It wasn’t until 1953 that anything happened to you. Susan was remarried to a nice American man named Tom, a business man who travelled a lot. You painted for a living and worked in a teashop. Susan was content to be an activist, to split her time between politics and housework.

She invited you over one day to watch the coronation of Elizabeth the Second. It was mildly interesting to you, but Susan grumbled halfway through, “Mine was better.”

“Yours was better? You were never crowned Queen, Susan.” You looked at her in confusion.



“Not in here. In Narnia,” she said wistfully. She looked back at you. “There’s stories about Edmund and us that I never told you about, Y/N…”

[pineappuu-pineappley]

women question thingy cuz im bored

GENERAL WOMANHOOD: 1. Do you like the color pink? nnnot really? pastel pink is kinda cool i guess 2. Did you play with Barbie dolls as a child? ye 3. How easily do you cry? not very? but more so now than before 4. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? i eat whatever tbh i dont sad eat? 5. How often do you experience boob sweat? whenever i sweat zz 6. How moody are you when you are you are on your period? doesnt really matter? idk 7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? binch i dont even get a text back i cant have sex HAHAHA 8. Have you ever been on the pill? no, but like my periods are so fucking bizarre so idk but ??? 9. Would you ever want to have children someday? tbh idk i guess but im still too young to decide lol 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? no, and idk yet :v 11. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? a little above average because i just throw food in without recipes and stuff but my mother is a wizard 12. What is your favorite thing to cook? egg.. ngl its just crack dat bitch and cook it its easy af HAHA  13. Can you sew? ye i guess but not actual clothes 14. Do you consider yourself a feminist? i think so, but like i’m not “active” and also wtf is wrong with “feminists” that want death to men like seriously you’re also part of the problem yall crazy 15. How do you define “girl power?” power specifically for girls, may it be over their body or themselves?? 16. Have you ever wished you were born a male? a little but only cuz that one time i think i was gay for a friend and it would be much easier to come to terms with it, speaking of which i dont even know my sexuality but i dont really care LOL 17. Breastfeeding or formula? breastfeeding  18. What is your opinion of equal pay? its important!! but then if we’re not looking at gender its unfair if someone who does jackshit gets the same pay as someone working their literal ass off. instead of adjusting based on gender why not adjust it based on work done? if you slack off u get a pay cut if u work hard you get a raise? 19. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? ah shit uh, i think i’m both??? (that makes no sense) like i know i have no right to force someone to do something but at least maybe i’d like to talk to them about it? a life is a life /shrugs/ but ultimately it is not my choice to make if it’s not my situation, all i can do is to maybe let someone understand the morality behind say abortion. HOWEVER!!! i think birth control for period management because of certain conditions is good and this shouldn’t be taken away from people who need it!! I’m just so !!! at women getting refused treatment for a spontaneous abortion or whatever because its an abortion, but the body rejected the foetus all on its own!! she has a right to healthcare!! (i saw this on a documentary on abortion in the ph iirc and like refusing someone treatment because its not moral to “fully abort” a foetus, even though it’s already aborted by the BODY ITSELF and not by other MEANS is literally not caring for the person who needs the HELP?!?!!?? its more immoral to refuse healthcare to her than to give her healthcare to abort the foetus because the body aborted it by itself it is spontaneous sometimes it happens okay?????) 20. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. i dont think so tbh 21. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? not everyone wants your dick in their vagina shut the fuck up HAHA 22. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I’m a woman because______. i’m not burdened by society rules about hugging my friends and make up? i have no idea tbh i’m just eh about everything am i even a woman HAHAHA

LIFE EXPERIENCES: 23. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? no 24. Have you ever been a ballerina? noo 25. Have you ever been a cheerleader? no 26. Were you ever voted as a homecoming or prom queen? can we eat prom? 27. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? yeah i guess but its just because my friends dont wanna walk one block home its great HAHA 28. Do you belong to a sorority? we dont have those things in here 29. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? i used to keep a diary when i was a kid now i just want a bujo but where s my shit 30. American ladies: did you vote for Hillary Clinton? not american PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: 31. What is the longest your hair has ever been? a v-cut where the longest was at my asscrack 32. Have you ever cut your hair super short? shaved it for hair for hope uvu 33. What hairstyle do you wear the most? either down with a side parting or up/half-up in a hairstick, at home just an ugly ass bun. like my hair is nice but the style is meh 34. Have you ever dyed your hair? no, im afraid of spoiling it 35. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed? now im always heavy lmao  36. How muscular are you? i have some muscle in my calves and the top of my arms but im 90% fat so 37. Are your ears pierced? one on each lobe 38. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your ears? nah 39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? noo 40. How often do you wear lipstick or lipgloss? almost never, if i wear makeup i still forget about it LOL 41. How often do you paint your nails? rarely 42. Have you ever worn any fake eyelashes or fake nails? yes at both but fake nails dont survive  43. How often do you shave/wax your legs? i never did  44. How white are your teeth? eh not very but its not stained v badly i guess 45. What do you think is your best physical feature? my softness? 46. What do you think is your worst physical feature? fats HAHA 47. Do you have a “look” (i.e. a mad/annoyed/upset stare)? blur face 48. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? i dont i just make potato faces FASHION STYLE: 49. What is your favorite fashion brand? prolly iora or lalu or something i think they have korean-ish/school-girl ish aesthetic  50. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? ye, not v often because school is anal about it :) 51. What is your dress size? dunno but i think im like a L-XL depending on cut? 52. Do you wear any high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? no, dont own any 53. Have you ever worn high heels casually? no? not really nah 54. How often do you wear a bra? only in public or when non-family members are in the house 55. Does it matter if your bra and panties match or not? i alternate between only 2 bras i dont care 56. Which are you more likely to go without: a bra or panties? i forgot to wear a bra like 3 times in my life two of which i already had noticecable boobs 57. How much of your underwear is white? i have a few now? 58. Have you ever worn a skirt or a dress without any panties underneath? yo wtf dont get ur vag juices everywhere omg also everything is dirty dont do that 59. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? if i fold the butt part to wrap my butt and it manages to cover my entire butt i guess but only if i have safety shorts 60. How expensive was your prom dress? shit idr 61. What clothing item do you own the most of (if shirts, be specific to what kind)? t-shirts (but not anymore-) 62. How much jewelry do you typically wear? a pair of earrings, used to have a necklace but i havent got a new chain yet 63. How much makeup do you typically wear? either full face or none, twice before concealer + eyeliner thats it 64. Do you like eyeshadow? THAT SHITE BOMB 65. Do you carry a purse? i prefer a bigger bag because i bring way too much shit 66. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: In your hand, on your elbow, or on your elbow? slung on my shoulder 67. How big is your closet? not very 68. Have you ever looked through your closet an thought “I have nothing to wear”? YES WTF BC I LOOK LIKE A HOBO (also i literally keep running out of shirts nowadays) 69. Have you ever worn the same outfit more than once? ya what do u think i am a diva? HAHA 70. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? t-shirt and shorts 71. Have you ever worn a mismatched bikini? i never put my body into a bikini 72. Do you like tube and halter tops fat arms man :v 73. Do you like crop tops? they look aesthetic af but just not on me HAHAHAH 74. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? ye i guess WEDDING CRAZE: 75. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? no but i’ve been flower girl multiple times 76. Would you ever want to get married? i guess 77. For how long have you thought about your wedding? i dont even have a crush rn so i never even thought of it 78. How much of your wedding do you already have planned out? -100% 79. Indoor or outdoor wedding? church wedding preferable in an airconditioned one imean- HAHAHA 80. Would you want to have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? i dont have a lot of friends DATING & RELATIONSHIPS: 81. What is your current relationship status? single as a pringle never gonna mingle 82. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? no 83. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? yes 84. What personality trait are you most attracted to? shit uh, (judging on my 2d biases) cheerful puppy type? 85. Have you ever been on a blind date? no 86. Has anyone ever tried to set you up on a date? noo 87. Do you kiss on a first date? no  88. How often do guys hit on you? never HAHA 89. Have you ever kissed another woman? If so, did you like it? shIt ya and ya, go away 90. Have you ever dated another woman? i almost did? 91. Is sex before marriage wrong? IT’S AGAINST THE MORAL ORDER!!! according to my religion but also even if it’s not religion its good to only give yourself to another after marriage uvu. but idk 92. After how long would you start to consider a relationship to be serious? i dont know maybe a year? LOL idek if someone can stand being with my after 2 weeks 93. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate or flowers? steak.. or like meat or like good food ENTERTAINMENT: 94. What celebrity do you most admire? i dont- know-? 95. Do you like romantic comedies? Any favorites? eh dont think so 96. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? no 97. Who is your favorite Disney princess? mulan? MERIDA? idk 98. What is your favorite Disney song? shit idk 99. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? whats that 100. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? no 101. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? yeah but like random episodes on the tv with my mom, i rather watch masterchef junior but not with the newer seasons cuz my bro said the way they made it is like poo 102. Do you read romantic novels? If so, do you have any recommendations? im like -100% romantic please stop 103. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? beyonce maybe 104. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? ellen? idk  A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 105. Are you named after anyone? Dionne Warwick (not celine dion stop this shit i will fight you) 106. How many male friends do you have? nnnot many? i’m close to steffy tho yes bless uvu  107. Have you ever called your female friends your girlfriends? i can barely type “i love you” i cannot with cheesy shit so hazukashit 108. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, dear, babe, or darling? ye i call friendos bebe or something but only through text because im shy LOL 109. Have you ever dotted your I’s with a heart or a smiley face? hearts, i stopped bc a teacher was like “lol” in front of the entire class thanks 110. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? idk but floral prints are nice 111. Name five things you always have in your purse. (not including phone and wallet) lipbalm (that i never use), axe oil (running out), vicks, tigerbalm (why do i have 2), blotting paper (also dont really use) 112. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? my sanity jk idk 113. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? only pads 114. What is the most amount of money you’ve ever spent in one single shopping trip? idk $60 maybe idk weep i spend it all online 115. Do you consider shopping a sport? no wtf but walking around a lot is a pain so i guess it could be 116. Have you ever used your cleavage or a bra as a purse? i use a bad stop with the purse i carry too much shit 117. Coffee or tea? tea 118. Can you do the splits? i will only split my pants and muscles open so no 119. Do you do any yoga? no 120. Have you ever been told that to have cute handwriting? yea but i think it’s messy and ugly and changes too often 121. How well can you write in cursive? look at 120 122. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? no fuck that 123. Do you or have you ever belonged to a book club? no 124. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? no lmao i dont even drive 125. Have you ever drank a non-alcoholic beverage out of a wine glass? i guess? 126. Showers or baths? showers 127. Have you ever tried using a toilet while standing up? ya its horrible because u dont have a dick to aim 128. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? ye actually- 129. Do you own any sex toys? no HAHA RATINGS: 130. From 1-10, how feminine do you consider yourself? 6? 131. From 1-10, how much are you like your mother? 7-8 132. From 1-10, how much do you look like your mother? 5 because i smile like her but a lot of people say i look like my dad 133. From 1-10, how much are you like your father? 3 he’s chill im not 134. From 1-10, how polite are you? depends but maybe 7 135. From 1-10, how cute do you consider your laugh? -11 136. From 1-10, how strict are you about manners? 5? 137. From 1-10, how much of a neat freak are you? 6 but my handwriting is shit 138. From 1-10, how much of a hopeless romantic are you? -11 139. From 1- 10, how healthy do you eat? 6? its Meat > veggies > fish (but cuz i dont like how fish is cooked here? i love meat but i need veg to live too but i dont like salads give me roasted veg or stir fry veg or veg soops uvu) 140. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays?  4?

[karlyhokes]

GENERAL WOMANHOOD:

i ANSWERED THE QUESTIONS IN 1 HOUR AND 19 MINUTES... 

1. Do you like the color pink? No I do Not 2. Did you play with Barbie dolls as a child? YES, I LOVED MY BARBIES 3. How easily do you cry? SEMI EASY 4. What is the silliest thing you’ve ever cried over? FEAR. WHEN I AM REALLY NERVOUS I CRY OVER THE SILLIEST THINGS AND NOT SAYING THAT FEAR IS SILLY BUT IT’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO BECAUSE IF YOU COULD CHANGE IT THEN YOU WOULDN’T BE AFRAID IN THE FIRST PLACE. 5. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? I DON’T EAT 6. How moody are you when you are you are on your period? I AM NOT SURE I HAVEN’T HAD A PERIOD IN 5 YEARS DUE TO MY MIRINA. 7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? YES, WITH TORREY I THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT TWICE AND I WOULD OF PROUDLY HAD AN ABORTION BECAUSE I KNOW HE WOULDN’T HAVE WANTED IT. HE TOLD ME. 8. Have you ever been on the pill? YES I HATED IT. MADE ME FEEL SICK EVERY MORNING 9. Would you ever want to have children someday? YESSSSS, NOW THAT I HAVE THE ONE I LOVE THE MOST. SHE WANTS CHILDREN AND I WANT CHILDREN. MY BIGGEST FEAR WAS THAT I WOULD BRING CHILDREN IN THIS WORLD AND MY SPOUSE WOULD LEAVE ME, CHEAT ON ME, OR SOMETHING STUPID AND HONESTLY!!!! I CAN’T HANDLE THAT AND IT’S NOT FAIR TO THE KIDS. I WAS  A VICTIM OF A BROKEN HOME AND IT BROKE A LOT OF ME… 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? NO I HAVEN’T BUT I WOULDN’T MIND IT. I PROBABLY WILL CRY THE WHOLE TIME AND HOLLER AND SCREAM I AM NOT SURE LOL. ALL I KNOW IS THAT I WILL BE VERY SCARED.. 11. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? TO BE 22 I HAVEN’T MADE ANYTHING THAT I COULDN’T COOK. 12. What is your favorite thing to cook? SPAGHETTI 13. Can you sew? NO THAT’S WHAT I  HAVE MY DAD FOR AND MY GRANDMA 14. Do you consider yourself a feminist? YES VERY!!! I CAN’T STAND MEN WHO FEEL LIKE WOMEN AREN’T EQUAL TO THEM AND I CAN’T STAND WOMEN WHO FEEL BELOW A MAN… EFF THEM 15. How do you define “girl power?” IF WE PUT OUR MINDS TO IT WE CAN DO ANYTHING A MAN CAN DO. CUT GRASS HELL YEA I CAN GET A TAN WHILE DOING IT, PLANT FLOWERS, COOK, CLEAN, CHANGE A DAMN DIAPER, EVERYTHING. I ALSO BELIEVE A WOMEN WITH POWER IS A WOMEN OF CLASS AND CONFIDENCE. IF YOU LACK EITHER ONE OF THEM YOU DON’T HAVE POWER BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMEONE ELSE RUNNING YOUR LIFE, YOU ARE LIVING THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE INSTEAD OF YOUR OWN. IF YOU ARE CONFIDENT BECAUSE OF THE CLOTHES ON YORU BACK OR BECAUSE YOUR “MAN” GIVE YOU MONEY WHEN HE WANTS AND LETS YOU DO STUFF WHEN HE TELLS YOU CAN THEN THAT’S NOT POWER. POWER IS WHEN 2 ADULTS CAN MAKE EXECUTIVE DECISIONS IN 1 HOUSEHOLD, POWER IS WHEN A MOTHER CAN RAISE 5 KIDS ON HER OWN JUST LIKE A MAN SHOULD BE ABLE TOO, POWER IS YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO SLEEP WITH A GUY TO FEEL ACCOMPLISHED YOU SHOULD BEABLE TO GET OFF BY YOURSELF. THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS TOWARD POWER BUT MOST OF ALL MY FIANCE AND I ARE EQUAL IN OUR RELATIONSHIP AND I BELIEVE THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT SO HEALTHY. 16. Have you ever wished you were born a male? – HELL NO. 17. Breastfeeding or formula? TRY BREASTFEEDING BUT I WILL NOT ONLY NURSE. THEY WILL ALWAYS RECEIVE BREAST MILK UNTIL THEY ARE A YEAR AND A HALF YEARS YOUNG. BUT, THEY WILL BE OFF THE TIT AT 3 MONTHS CONSISTANTLY MEANING IF I AM HOME AND THE FAMILY ISN’T DOING MUCH I WILL NURSE BUT IF WE ARE VISITING FAMILY ETC THEN I WILL PUMP BOTTLES FOR THE MUNCHKIN TO BE FED BY OTHER PEOPLE. AT 6- 9 MONTHS I WILL ONLY NURSE TWICE A DAY AND THE REST WILL BE FROM BOTTLES. I WILL NURSE THEM IN THE MORNING WHEN THEY ARE WAKING UP, AND AT NIGHT BEFORE BED. I PLAN TO STORE MILK (AS MUCH AS I CAN) FOR OUR NEXT BABY WHICH WILL BE IN 2-3 YEARS SO I WILL KEEP IT IN A DEEP FREEZER SO I DON’T HAVE TO PUT MY BREAST THROUGH SO MUCH. 9-18 MONTHS THEY WILL BE NURSED AT NIGHT ONLY AND THEY WILL HAVE A SIPPY CUP OF BREAST MILK FOR BREAKFAST AND FOR LUNCH. SO THAT’S WHAT I PLAN TO DO FOR OUR LITTLE KIDDOS. MY WIFE WILL PROBABLY BE DIFFEERNT. 18. What is your opinion of equal pay? – HELL YEAH WE BOTH WORK EQUALLY SO I SHOULD GET PAID THE SAME WAY AS JOHN DOE 19. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? PRO CHOICE. IF YOU ARE A WHORE AND CONSTANTLY GETTING ABORATIONS THEN YOU NEED TO HAVE A RESTRITION BECAUSE 1. IT’S NOT FAIR TO YOUR SPOUSE ONE DAY WHEN THEY WANT A FAMILY BUT CAN’T HAVE ONE BECAUSE YOU WERE LOVING THE CREW. 2. TO EVERY CHOICE IN LIFE THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES AND SOME GIRLS LIVE BY OH PLEASE DON’T LET ME GET PREGO NOT BITCH YOU NEED TO BE SAYING PLEASE DON’T LET ME GET A STD. PREGO PEOPLE USUALLY IS GOD’S WAY OF SAVING YOU AND TRYING TO GET YOU TO CALM DOWN. BUT, IF YOU ARE SICK AND YOU KNOW YOUR BABY WILL BE RETARDED OR DUE TO YOUR ILLNESS IT WILL BE HARMFUL FOR YOUR BABY THEN YOU SHOULD ABORED IT I AM SORRY BUT HEALTH COMES FIRST AND YOU CAN ALWAYS RETRY. SO TO ME IT’S CHOICE BUT ALSO BASED ON CIRCUMSTANCES. 20. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. – Have I? OH YES I GET IT ALL THE TIME. I LEFT MY LAST JOB BECAUSE OF A MAN RUBBING HIS PENISE WHILE LOOKING AT ME DURING MEETING. LIKE UHHHHHH IT PISSES ME OFF SO PLEASE KNOW I HAVE. HE TOLD ME YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN MY HOUSE BITCH SINCE YOU ARE BIRACIAL AND HE SAID HE WOULD SLEEP WITH ME EVERY SINGLE NIGHT UNTIL I GAVE HIM BROWN BABIES AND ONCE I WOULD DELIVERY HE WOULD EJACULATE IN ME AGAIN. UM NO SIR. THANK’S THOUGH. 21. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? HOW EMOTIONALL FUCKED UP THEY ARE… HE’S SO SAD BECAUSE GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND BUT I BELIEVE THEY DON’T UNDER BECAUSE THEY HONESLTY DON’T KNOW. 22. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I’m a woman because I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM FULL, I AM FREE, AND BECAUSE I AM HAPPY. LIFE EXPERIENCES: 23. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? –MY MOM LIVED BY GIRL SCOUTS 24. Have you ever been a ballerina?YES I DANCED FOR 19 YEARS AND 16 OUT OF THE 19 YEARS I WAS A COMPETITOR. IT WAS REQUIRED TO DO BALLE WHILE COMPETING. 25. Have you ever been a cheerleader?YES THROUGH COLLEGE, THE BEST EXPERIENCE. 26. Were you ever voted as a homecoming or prom queen? –HOMECOMING I WAS NOMINATED TWICE BUT NEVER GOT IT. I WENT TO A MONEY HUNGRY HIGH SCHOOL SO IF YOU DIDN’T COME FROM MONEY THEN YOU DIDN’T WIN ANYTHING. I ALSO COMPETITED IN PAGEANTS THROUGH MY LIFE AND I WOULD WIN LIKE MISS. SOUTH CAROLINA ETC BUT WHEN I COMPETED IN HIGH SCHOOL I NEVER WON BECAUSE EMMA WEBB’S PARENTS WERE IN THE PTA AND THEY WOULD BUY HER OUT SO SHE COULD WIN. I SWEAR I HATE POOR LOOSERS. HOW DO I KNOW THIS STUFF? UMM I WAS GREAT FRIENDS WITH 1 OF THE JUDGES AND THEY SHOWED ME MY SCORES AND THEY WERE 5 POINTS HIGHER THEN EMMAS. 27. Have you ever hosted a sleepover?MATTER OF FACT I AM HOSTING ONE TONIGHT AND TOMORROW NIGHT. UH I AM GOING TO BE TIRED. BUT IT WILL BE FUN 28. Do you belong to a sorority?HELL NO, I AM NOT PARTICIPATED IN A GROUP OF GIRLS WHO I HAVE TO PAY TO BE MY FRIEND 29. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal?YES I STILL DO CURRENTLY INSTEAD OF IT BEING MY JOURNAL IT’S MY PERSONAL GROWTH DIARY 30. American ladies: did you vote for Hillary Clinton?YES I DID BUT IT’S NOT BECAUSE SHE WAS A WOMEN. I DIDN’T WANT D. TRUMP TO BE PRESIDENT BUT WE DON’T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: 31. What is the longest your hair has ever been? –THE LENGTH IT IS RIGHT NOW. PAST MY BRA. I AM GOING TO SEE HOW LONG IT GETS BY THANKSGIVING AND THEN MY BIRTHDAY AND IF IT’S LONG ENOUGH I AM GOING TO GET LAYERS PUT IN IT. 32. Have you ever cut your hair super short?THE SHORTEST I HAVE EVER CUT MY HAIR, IS TO MY SHOULDERS AND I CUT 7 INCHES OFF OF MY HAIR. 33. What hairstyle do you wear the most? –CURLY I WEAR IT UP IN A BUN IF IT’S STRAIGHT I WEAR IT DOWN 34. Have you ever dyed your hair? –NOPE MY HAIR NATURALLY CHANGES COLORS DUE TO THE WEATHER. WINTER IT’S DARK DARK BROWN, FALL IT’S SANDY BLONDISH BROWN, SUMMER IT’S REALLY LIGHT BROWN LIKE REALLY LIGHT, AND SPRING IT’S SANDY BLONDISH BROWN. SO THERE’S NO NEED FOR DYE. 35. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed?WHAT I WEIGH NOW 148. UHHH I AM GOING TO START RUNNING AGAIN. BACK TO THE GYM I GO NEXT WEEK. 36. How muscular are you? –I HAVE FORM IN MY ARMS AND LEGS. I HAVE 21% BODY FAT WHICH THEY SAY IS GOOD. 37. Are your ears pierced? -YES 38. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your ears?YES BELLY BUTTON 39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? –NOPE – IDK IF I WANT ANY EITHER 40. How often do you wear lipstick or lipgloss? –ABOUT 2- 3 TIMES A WEEK DEPENDS ON HOW BUSY MY WEEK IS 41. How often do you paint your nails? –Never! I get my nails done once a month 42. Have you ever worn any fake eyelashes or fake nails? –FAKE EYELASHES YES BUT THEY ARE A PAIN SO I HATE WEARING THEM. FAKE NAILS NOPE! I GET POWDER OVER THE TOP OF MY REAL NAILS AND THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL. 43. How often do you shave/wax your legs? –ONCE A WEEK – SHAVE I DO NOT WAX BECAUSE I AM NOT THAT HAIRY 44. How white are your teeth? –SEMI WHITE I NEED TO BLEACH THEM THIS WEEKEND 45. What do you think is your best physical feature? –MY CURVY BODY AND MY LIPS 46. What do you think is your worst physical feature? –I STRONGLY DISLIKE MY THIGHS 47. Do you have a “look” (i.e. a mad/annoyed/upset stare)? –YES I HAVE A MAD LOOK 48. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? – THAT’S ALL I DO FASHION STYLE: 49. What is your favorite fashion brand? –ANYTHING JESSICA SIMPSON OR JENNIFER LOPEZ 50. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? –YES ABOUT ONCE A WEEK 51. What is your dress size? -4 52. Do you wear any high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often?2-3 TIMES A WEEK 53. Have you ever worn high heels casually? YES LOVE IT 54. How often do you wear a bra?EVERYWHERE 55. Does it matter if your bra and panties match or not?NOPE UNLESS I AM GETTING BUSY 56. Which are you more likely to go without: a bra or panties?PANTIES 57. How much of your underwear is white?ABOUT ½ I LOVE WHITE 58. Have you ever worn a skirt or a dress without any panties underneath?NOPE 59. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? –Mid thigh 60. How expensive was your prom dress? –CHEAPEST DRESS I’VE EVER OWNED. 61. What clothing item do you own the most of (if shirts, be specific to what kind)?MISS ME JEANS 62. How much jewelry do you typically wear? –WATCH, 3 PANDORA BRACELTS, 1 DECORATIVE NECKLACE, MY CROSS NECKLACE & MY ENGAGEMENT RING 63. How much makeup do you typically wear? –EYE SHADOW, BRONZER, AND MASCARA WITH LIPSTICK 64. Do you like eyeshadow?  -NAKED BABY 65. Do you carry a purse? -YES 66. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: In your hand, on your elbow, or on your elbow?ELBOW OR SHOULDER 67. How big is your closet? –ROOM SIZE 68. Have you ever looked through your closet an thought “I have nothing to wear”?ALL THE TIME 69. Have you ever worn the same outfit more than once? –DON’T LIKE TO BUT I BELIEVE I HAVE 70. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? –I LIKE BOTH 71. Have you ever worn a mismatched bikini?YES 72. Do you like tube and halter tops-YES 73. Do you like crop tops? -NOPE 74. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage?HELL YES THAT’S SEXY WEDDING CRAZE: 75. Have you ever been a bridesmaid?NOPE 76. Would you ever want to get married?YES AFTER I AM 25 77. For how long have you thought about your wedding?NOW 3 MONTHS 78. How much of your wedding do you already have planned out?COLORS, USHERS, BRIDESMEN, LOCATION STATE, A LOT OF IT. 79. Indoor or outdoor wedding?OUTDOORS 80. Would you want to have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple?A LOT DATING & RELATIONSHIPS: 81. What is your current relationship status?ENGAGED 82. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?NO I DON’T 83. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to?NOPE – TECHNICALLY I LOST IT TO BOTH GENDERS. A MAN AND A WOMEN A FEW YEARS LATER. 84. What personality trait are you most attracted to?CONFIDENT, JOCK, BUT FUN 85. Have you ever been on a blind date?NO I THINK IT WOULD BE FUN 86. Has anyone ever tried to set you up on a date?YES AND IT DIDN’T WORK I AM TYPE A PERSONALITY 87. Do you kiss on a first date?NOPE 88. How often do guys hit on you?ALL THE TIME 89. Have you ever kissed another woman? If so, did you like it?JUST SHELBY 90. Have you ever dated another woman?JUST SHELBY 91. Is sex before marriage wrong?NOT IN MY OPINION. 92. After how long would you start to consider a relationship to be serious?FROM DAY 1, BUT PROBABLY MOVING TOWARD THE NEXT STEP SUCH AS LIVING TOGETHER AT THE 2 YEAR MARK. 93. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate or flowers?NEITHER ENTERTAINMENT: 94. What celebrity do you most admire?JENNIFER LOPEZ. 95. Do you like romantic comedies? Any favorites? -NOPE 96. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? –YES PRETTY WOMEN 97. Who is your favorite Disney princess? –BELLE FROM BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 98. What is your favorite Disney song? –BEUATY AND THE BEAST SOUND TRACK 99. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? –I SHOULD 100. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? –OMG HOW DID YOU KNOW – MY FAVORITE SHOW/ MOVIES 101. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model?NOPE 102. Do you read romantic novels? If so, do you have any recommendations?NICKOLAS SPARKS 103. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? –I LIKE BOTH BUT I WOULD GO WITH BEYONCE 104. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? –ELLEN ALL DAY….. A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 105. Are you named after anyone?NOPE 106. How many male friends do you have?USE TO HAVE LIKE 15 NOW I HAVE NONE 107. Have you ever called your female friends your girlfriends? -1 108. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, dear, babe, or darling?YES 109. Have you ever dotted your I’s with a heart or a smiley face?WHEN I WAS YOUNGER 110. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design?HARDLY ANY 111. Name five things you always have in your purse.DEBIT CARD, CREDIT CARD, LOTION, HAND SANITIZER, LIP BALM, & A HAIR TIE 112. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse?LOOSE MONEY 113. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse?NO 114. What is the most amount of money you’ve ever spent in one single shopping trip?$1000 115. Do you consider shopping a sport?I DO BECAUSE I SWEAT, RACE, AND COMPETE FOR THE BEST SALES 116. Have you ever used your cleavage or a bra as a purse? -NO 117. Coffee or tea?I EQUALLY LIKE BOTH BUT TEA PLEASE UNLESS IT’S STARBUCKS THEN COFFEE 118. Can you do the splits?YES- LEFT RIGHT AND MIDDLE 119. Do you do any yoga?YES ONCE A WEEK 120. Have you ever been told that to have cute handwriting?ALL THE TIME 121. How well can you write in cursive?SEMI GOOD 122. Have you ever successfully been on a diet?NOPE BC THEY ARE UNHEALTHY FOR YOU. I EAT CLEAN ALL THE TIME 123. Do you or have you ever belonged to a book club?YES 124. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks?NOPE 125. Have you ever drank a non-alcoholic beverage out of a wine glass?WELCHES GRAPE JUICE IS THE BEST THAT WAY 126. Showers or baths?BUBBLE BATH 127. Have you ever tried using a toilet while standing up? YES I HAVE GREAT AIM 128. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends?ALL THE TIME 129. Do you own any sex toys?YES ABOUT 20 RATINGS: 130. From 1-10, how feminine do you consider yourself?8 131. From 1-10, how much are you like your mother?8 132. From 1-10, how much do you look like your mother?9 133. From 1-10, how much are you like your father? 8 134. From 1-10, how polite are you?10 135. From 1-10, how cute do you consider your laugh?1 136. From 1-10, how strict are you about manners?9.5 137. From 1-10, how much of a neat freak are you?6 138. From 1-10, how much of a hopeless romantic are you?4.5 139. From 1- 10, how healthy do you eat?8.8 140. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays?10

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