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queerenteen · 3 years ago

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Arcane reaction

episode 1-3 (Welcome to the Playground, Some Mysteries are Better Left Unsolved, The Base Violence Necessary for Change)

Started arcane, came for the sapphics but the gays and their crazy science hijinks intrigue me

The sapphics are still my favs though there's just something about a tragic romance that really appeals to me y'know

Man I can already tell that Vi and Powder and going to make me very sad over broken sisterhood

Like seriously how does the rift between them grow so much? They adore each other (looking back this hurts)

Damn that councilman with the gold flecks over her cheeks is so hot

I feel like you can tell a lot about me from how excited I am by the mad science in this show

Nothing gets you to spill your guts faster than people thinking you're an idiot when you know you're not

Damn is Vi going to inherit those badass gauntlets?

Come for the badass warrior sapphics, but also discover the mad scientist gays, best of both worlds

Now that I think about it, there are a couple of parallels between the four already, I wonder how it will pan out

,,, she's going to lose her father figure, isn't she?

The shift from trauma to science husbands left me reeling okay

It took him literally five minutes to go 'our dream' boy you're gay is showing

'Wait this isn't my bedroom--" fucking cackling at the implications of that

Yee they floaty

Holy shit Powder you really should have just stayed put

No no no not the father figure sacrificing everything including their most deeply held morals for their kid dammit it hasn't even been three episodes and I'm going to fucking sob

No please no please don't turn on each other no no no

I know you needed space but this a fucking villain origin story guys come on

Oh no even when she resents Powder she's still her little sister and she immediately goes to help her even when it would kill her

That's why Jinx exists, she thought that her sister abandoned her but she didn't, she loved her so much she had to be dragged away from her and I'm a fucking mess rn no one touch me

'She left me' No she didn't please someone stop this is like watching a car crash in slow motion

'She is not my sister anymore' That was a stab at the heart man

Jesus fuck the similarities between Silco and Vander and Jinx and Vi, god it hurts

Dammit Marcus if you hadn't dragged Vi away--

I am literally three episodes in and this show is giving me so many feelings what the fuck

,,, I'm going to binge this entire thing in like a day huh

episode 4: Happy Progress Day!

Jinx has a solid handle on her personal brand and I respect that

God no, more flashbacks to the past I couldn’t take it the first time and I still can’t

The intro is fucking fabulous

Jayce and Caitlyn’s sibling bond is precious

Science husbands really revolutionized the world huh

I get what the professor means, the gemstone is raw power and we already saw how badly it has affected people

I hate Caitlyn’s cap with a burning vendetta

The music score for this is amazing

No no what did they do to Vander’s bar?? It's nothing like it used to be

‘You should come with me. We’re partners.’ He’s so earnest about him, it’s so sweet.

That tiny floofball is adorable

Fickelty of fame

Is Viktor going to go up on stage? I feel like that’s where this is heading

Oh, he just, doesn’t unveil it. Wasn’t expecting that

Every time I hear a childish voice, I assume it’s Jinx behind it

Look who was right

Caitlyn. Muscles. Me gay

Wait isn’t Marcus the one who saved Vi? Where is she?

Oh, is she in the prison?

Welp, I wasn’t expecting straight up murder

I guess not straight up murder then but that is 100% Vi

WHY ARE THEY ALL SO HOT

I am loving the tattoos that Jinx and Vi have

Well that caught me in hook, line and sinker

episode 5: Everybody wants to be my Enemy

I appreciate the similarities and yet stark dissonance in Caitlyn and Jinx’s fighting styles

Like even how they learnt shooting is so completely different from each other

One is completely on the lawful side of the spectrum and the other is on completely the chaotic

I really liked Grayson’s character; really sad that we didn’t get to see more of her

What are you shooting for?

It’s going to come completely full-circle with that line, isn’t it?

I think Marcus feels like he’s following in Grayson’s footsteps and maintaining peace with the undercity but he’s really not

Viktor wants revolution to reach the undercity too, I wonder what happened to him there

Oh, shit his health is getting worse, how the fuck has no one else noticed

DID YOU NOT SEE THE BLOOD DUMBASS?

Vi parkouring over the rooftops and Caitlyn is just slowly scooting her way

Should Caitlyn really be wearing her enforcer uniform here?

‘Are you sure this is safe?’ ‘Of course not’ I’m cackling

Oof loved the parallels to Jinx and young Vi

Mel knows exactly how to manipulate people to get how she wants

A brothel? Wasn’t expecting that

YOU’RE HOT, CUPCAKE

You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this line

KABEDON

*presses her up against the wall* So man or woman?

So many platonic implications

Her smirk when she sees that Caitlyn chose woman. *they seem to be very good friends*

So, we went from science husbands to political couple. Really?

Blood being the key is very interesting

Silco definitely sees a lot of himself in Jinx

Oh, that was a clever screen cut between Mel and Viktor

WHAT NO VIKTOR

The prosthetics in the undercity remind me of upgraded automail

Vi…

‘I’m an excellent shot’

‘But you’re so sweet. Like a cupcake.’ *pterodactyl screeches*

‘She’s back’ ‘From the dead?’

Fuck yeah she’s back

episode 6: When These Walls Come Tumbling Down

We’re getting some Viktor backstory, I’m very curious to see what made him believe in magic and Jayce when no one else did

Rio looks like an axolotl

Viktor—

‘Viktor saved my life once’ I’m not crying, you are

‘He’s like my brother’ And there’s the sound of my ship drowning

Jinx is the embodiment of chaos, it’s great

Caitlyn: We can look for a safer way to get down—

Vi: *makes her way down a cliff with a stab wound*

Caitlyn: *no longer has an excuse*

Fuck you Sevika

Lmao Jinx just sneezed in her face

Oh, he faked Vi’s death; did not expect that

When Vi is hallucinating and seeing Powder and says 'I should never have left' and Caitlyn thinks that Vi is talking to her and is vulnerable in return?

When Caitlyn hugs him? That was really sweet

I mean, the whole reason Jayce is doing all of this is for Viktor, and no matter how you view their relationship, I hardly think that counts as greed or arrogance

I feel bad for the professor

'Easy easy easy' omfg that was so soft i think I'm going to cry

Caitlyn, honey, we need to improve on your people skills

caitlyn: *tries to shove the giant sign with all her weight and it doesn't move* vi: *cracks it in a single punch*

he was extracting something from rio? that is so fucked up

'i understand now' please viktor no--

wow i really wish caitlyn hadn't shown up

jinx and vi fighting back to back is something that can be so personal

jinx's quiet 'vi?' at the end broke me

episode 7: The Boy Saviour

Caitlyn screaming for Vi, they didn’t have to do that to me first thing on a Monday morning but here we are

EKKO—

‘I missed you little man’ I’m not crying, you are

‘Jayce will understand’ Boy, if he doesn’t imma gonna beat him up myself

‘First, I have to save Viktor’ Then get on it!

Mel is so hot, why is everyone in this so hot

Silco really cares for Jinx and I don’t know how to feel about that

Like the part where he says he thought Vi was Vander’s prodigy but Jinx surpasses anything he could have thought of? Impeccable

Ekko managed to build a safe place in the Lanes for kids like Vander had done for him—

Fuck, that mural is stunning

When someone says ‘partner’ I can never tell if they mean professionally or,,, y’know,,,

‘My hero’—

‘It’s inspired’ God can someone write the au where Viktor finds Jinx instead of Silco, that would great

,,, are they going to go from science husbands to vigilante duo?

‘It’s been real, Cupcake. Thanks for everything”—

Woah those firelight bombs were insane

No no Ekko please be okay

They just, keep touching each other’s faces so often, there is no heterosexual explanation for this

This showdown is fucking epic

Oh shit, he can’t do it because it’s Powder, no matter what he’s been telling Vi

Ekko please be okay—

episode 8: Oil and Water

Holy shit, Mel—

I feel so conflicted every time I see Silco and Jinx because on one hand, he absolutely adores her but on the other, well…

One thing that is really well done in this is how every character had a line that they weren’t willing to cross when they were younger but now, they will. First Viktor, now Mel

*GAY PANIC*

‘This is Vi’

Caitlyn telling her mother that she was wrong, that the entire council was wrong, was so powerful

It worked?? Good for you

Your *pause* friend

Silco’s panicked ‘Jinx!’ hurt, okay?

‘She won’t die Doctor. She can’t’ *sobs* I didn’t think going into this that I would have so many feelings about this but I really fucking do

‘I too, once had a daughter’

‘Jinx gets a whim, and suddenly his spine is jelly.’ You know what, it really fucking is

Vi is just, waiting for Caitlyn in her bed *such good friends*

‘No monster is going to get you when I’m here’ jfc how many times are you going to make me cry

*gentle face touch* so soft, I adore them

Caitlyn being the literal face of Jinx’s nightmares because she thinks she’s going to take Vi away from her—I came her for the gay, and now I’m losing my mind of traumatised sisters

The professor looks like a lost puppy wondering around the undercity like that

Omfg Mel’s mom is like, the antithesis of Mel

You know, most political discussions probably take place with clothes on

‘Oil and water’ I mean, there are emulsions (I’m just going to show myself out now)

No no why??

Viktor saving himself and running under the stars—I have many feels about this scene

Did,,, sky get vapourised?

Out of all the possibilities I thought of, Jayce and Vi teaming up was not one of them

GAUNTLETS

Really sticking to that hammer aesthetic huh?

DAMN VI

Oh fuck the kid

FUCKING HELL WHY THE FUCK IS THIS ENTIRE INDUSTRY USING KIDS FUCK YOU SILCO

In an abrupt tonal shift, we now have shower thoughts: gay edition

Why,,, is your fucking shower knob made of gold that is insane

Is Jinx in her shower, I mean, boundaries man

episode 9: The Monster You Created

Jayce, she was already ridiculously strong and now she has hextech gauntlets, you aren’t going to win

I get where Jayce is coming from, but Vi has a point. He had the privilege of never being part of the undercity. You can’t just walk away from it and hope it disappears

The designs of the undercity characters are so unique omg

Holy shit the Medardas are a fucking mess

Parallels!

‘In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good.’

‘I still believe in loyalty’ I did not expect that

Silco was ready to dismantle his entire fucking empire but not give up Jinx

Wait is that a statue of Vander?

‘Is there anything so undoing as a daughter?’ She was the vulnerable point for both Vander and Silco

‘That’s my girl’ Why must you play with my emotions like this??

‘But he didn’t make Jinx. You did.’ This episode just keeps throwing out the emotional sucker punches

‘You’re the reason I’m still alive’

I don’t even have words anymore

‘Are we still sisters?’ ‘Nothing is ever going to change that.’ *cries*

This scene gives family dinner from hell a new meaning

‘I’m not that crazy’ I mean, evidence says otherwise Jinx

Silco’s like, only redeeming quality is his love for Jinx; and he’s pretty fucking consistent about it

DID SHE JUST SHOOT SILCO TO SAVE VI

‘You’re perfect’ Just stab me in the heart, why don’t you?

YOU CAN’T END IT LIKE THAT WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL OF THEM THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PEACE AND—

I AM LOSING MY MIND

SERIOUSLY IT CAN’T END LIKE THAT

IS THERE AN END-CREDITS SCENE?

This has consumed me omfg

#arcane #arcane liveblog #this used to be a reblog thing but i decided it would work better as one post #caitvi #caitlyn kiramman #vi arcane #jinx #jayvik #jayce tallis #mel medarda #silco #ekko #piltover's finest #silco and jinx #vi and powder

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 3 years ago

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COSMIC - S1:E2; Chapter Two, The Weirdo On Maple Street - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘠/𝘯, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯.

|| 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

"Ready are you? What knows you of ready?" Mike spoke in a voice that was supposed be Yoda's.

Mike had been showing her his room; he was now showing her all of his toys. El gave him strange looks at his unusual voice. He continues in his normal voice.

"His name is Yoda. He can use the Force to move things with his mind, like this." Mike then quickly shoves all of the toys off the table.

"Whoosh!"

Eleven looks around and all sorts of items she had never seen before on Mike's dresser. Mike, had now moved on to his favorite dinosaur toy.

"This is my dinosaur, Rory. Look, he has a speaker in his mouth so he can roar." He turns to show her, only to realize she was now by his dresser and was looking closely at everything in curiosity. He put down Rory and joined her.

Eleven took note of all the things before her; what appeared to be a shiny gold woman with wings and many other figurines like it that stood on wooden platforms.

"Oh, these are all my science fair trophies. We got first every year. Except for last year when we got third. Mr. Clarke said it was totally political."

El smiled at one of the trophies that read HAWKINS MIDDLE SCHOOL TEAM PROBLEM SOLVING CHAMPIONS, next to it a picture with five kids all holding a large trophy. El recognized everyone. She smiled when she saw the only friend of Mike's that offered to help her; Y/n. He was standing in the middle, one hand holding the trophy, the other one was behind a smiling boy, two of his fingers sticking up making it look like the other boy had bunny ears.

El's smile fell when it dawned on her that she recognized the boy. She gasped silently, her mouth agape. Mike took note of this and watched her carefully as she slowly brought her finger to the picture. Mike watched as finger landed on his missing friend.

He looked back at her in shock. "You know Will?" She didn't say anything, her mouth still open and a very concerned look on her face.

"Did you see him? Last night? On the road?"

Before she could say anything, the loud noise of halting vehicle broke the silence. Mike quickly ran to his window in a panic, his mom was pulling up the driveway.

He ran back over to El.

"We gotta go."

He grabs her hand, yanks open his bedroom door, and drags her down the steps. He halts at the landing of stairs, staring in horror as his mom is at the front door, closing it behind her. Her youngest, Holly was in her arms, and so was her groceries. Before she could see anything, Mike ran back upstairs with El, as quickly and quietly as possible.

Karen Wheeler stopped in her tracks when she thought she heard someone upstairs.

"Ted? Is that you?" She calls out.

"Just me mom!" Mike yelled out frantically as he ran through the hallway.

"Mike? What are you doing home?"

"One second!" He brought El back into his room and lead her to his closet, not before closing his bedroom door.

"In here. I'll be right back, okay?" Mike instructed, slightly out of breath.

El stood rooted in place, fear in her eyes.

But Mike was frantic. "Please, you have to get in, or my mom, she'll find you. Do you understand?" El only looked at the closet, then back at Mike.

"I won't tell her about you. I promise."

"Promise?" She asked, clearly confused.

"It means something that you can't break. Ever." He explained quickly.

"Michael?" Mike's mom could be heard from downstairs.

They both looked to the door, then back at each other. "Please?" Mike pleaded.

El looks between Mike and the closet, unsure before walking inside, and turning to Mike. He quickly closed the door and she began to back up further into the closet, panic setting in.

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

"Pop!"

Eleven struggles to break free from the men's hold as they carry her by her arms down, back into the room.

Sobs racked her body as she uses all her strength to turn and look back at Papa.

"Papa!" He steps out into the hallway and remains standing, doing nothing to help her, yet she still calls for him.

"Papa! No!" She screams her throat raw and her legs never stop kicking.

"Papa!"

They round the corner and at the end of the short hallway lays the dreaded room. The cold unwelcoming florescent light floods from the open door. Her resistance becomes stronger and more violent.

"No! No! No!"

Her screams become incoherent when the two men chuck her to the ground, she scrambles to feet in an attempt to stop the copper door from closing. Alas, she is too late for the steel door had slammed shut before her.

"Papa!" She yelled, slamming her palms against the cold copper.

"Papa!" She tries banging her fists, but to no avail.

"Papa! Papa! Papa!" Her screams turn to sobs.

"Papa."

She backs away from the door and retreats to the corner of the very small room where she tucked herself away. Her heart sinks to the floor with her, unable to do anything but curl up in a ball on the ice cold tile.

"Papa." She whimpers quietly.

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

Eleven backs up until her back hit the wall and she slides down till she is sitting on Mike's floor. She hugs her knees to her chest and allows her sobs to come.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"I just... I don't feel good." Mike was sat, hands folded together on his couch with his mother. He was giving her a false excuse of why he was at home during a school day.

"I woke up and my head, it really hurt bad, and my throat was all scratchy, and I wanted to tell you, but the last Tim's I told you I was sick you made me go to school anyway, and-"

"Michael."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not mad at you."

Mike was surprised to hear this from his mother.

"No?"

"No, of course not." She adjusted herself so that she was closer to her son, grabbed his hand in her's and sighed.

"All this that's been going on with Will, I can't imagine what it's been like for you."

Mike looks down to his lap, taking it in. No one had asked how he was doing with his best friend missing. It was hard. The whole party was worried. He never considered that and it was... refreshing to hear that his mother understood. He looked back at his mother as she continued.

"I just... I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. I'm here for you. Okay?"

He nods his head. They both look up when they hear a soft thud from upstairs.

"Is there someone else here?" She asks.

Michael considers what his mom just told him. "No."

"Huh. Weird. Hey by the way, did you do something to my plant out front? It looks amazing!"

"Oh, that? Um, well, no that was Y/n."

"Really? Wow! That's incredible, he needs to tell me his secret. I could really use his help! Say, speaking of Y/n," she nudged her son, a teasing smirk on her face. "Anything going on between you two? Do you like him? Does he like you?" She asked, getting more excited with each question.

Mike's face scrunched up. "Ugh! Mom! He's just a friend! He's, like... my brother! How many times do I have to say that?" He whines.

"You're right, you're right! I'm sorry, my bad." She throws her hands up in surrender. "It's just... you two would be so cute toge-"

Mike stands up from the couch quickly. "Mom!" He interrupts, then sighs. "Thank you for understanding and letting me stay home, it means a lot, really. But I should probably go upstairs now and lay down, okay? Okay. Bye."

He runs upstairs before she can respond, leaving her sitting on the couch, in confusion.

"...Okay," she says to no one in particular.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

Lucas, Dustin and I were biked to Mike's house to meet him there. Once we arrived, he quickly rushed us up to his room. El was sitting on Mike's bed, a blanket on her legs. I remain standing next to everyone else but I give El a smile and a wave. She timidly smiles and waves back.

"Are you out of your mind?" Lucas argued.

"Just listen to me." Mike began.

"You are out of your mind!"

"She knows about Will."

My head snaps up at the mention of him. "What?" I quickly look to El and then back at Mike, my eyes wide.

"What do you mean she knows about Will?" Dustin asks for me.

Mike took a few steps towards his dresser and picked up the picture of all five of us at the science fair.

"She pointed at him, at his picture. She knew he was missing. I could tell."

"You could tell?"

"Just think about it. Do you really think it was a coincidence that we found her on Mirkwood, the same place that Will disappeared?"

"That is weird." Dustin agreed.

I turned and slowly walked over to El, cautiously taking a seat next to her, but still giving her enough space. "Is that true?" I ask in a gentle whisper. She looked me in the eye and gulped, and ever so slightly nodded her head 'yes'.

I chuckle in disbelief and look at the boys hopefully.

"And she said bad people are after her. I think that maybe these bad people are the same ones who took Will."

"Guys, think about it. I think he's right. I think she might know what happened to him." I speak up, hope in my voice.

"Then why doesn't she tell us?"

"Well, maybe she's scared of you two!" I accuse.

"Why should she be scared? I'm tired of this." He walks straight over to her and starts raising his voice.

"Do you know where he is?"

"Lucas..." I warn, my hands subconsciously ball into a fist in anger.

Suddenly he grabs her by the shoulders, shaking her and begins yelling in her face. "Do you know where Will is?"

"LUCAS!" I bark. Standing up immediately, I rip his arms of her, she's cowering in fear. "Dammit man, get your hands off of her! And you wonder why she's scared," I scoffed, crossing my arms.

"She should be scared! If you know where he is, tell us!" She doesn't say anything and she bites her lip trying not to cry. "Lucas! Listen to me. I know you're scared and worried about Will, okay? We all are, but we have to be patient okay? She's scared, she's lost, she probably doesn't know who to trust, we just need to be kind to her alright?" I plead.

"Ya know what? No. There's no time. This is nuts. We have to take her to your mom." He says turning back to Mike.

"No! Eleven said telling any adult would put us in danger." Mike argues.

For the first time in a while, Dustin spoke up, his voice soft.

"What kind of danger?"

"Her name is Eleven?" Lucas asks.

"El for short." Mike corrected casually.

"Mike, what kind of danger?" Lucas pressed, his voice grew significantly louder.

"Danger danger," Mike yelled back.

I look around, breathing heavily as I take everything in. Mike puts his hand up to my brother's forehead in the shape of a gun. Then the same to Lucas. Lucas swats away Mike's hand almost immediately.

Lucas begins to panic. "No, no, no! We're going back to plan A. We're telling your mom."

I try to grab his arm as he stomps towards the door, but he shoves my hand away. He rips open the door, only for the door to be slammed shut all on it's own, making everything around the room shake. We all stare at the door in confusion. He tries it again, but the door continues to slam shut. Then, we all see the lock turn by itself.

'Okay, well... I know I didn't imagine that.'

Simultaneously, we all turn to El to find her standing, blood dripping from her nose giving Lucas quite possibly the sharpest glare I have ever seen.

"No." She states firmly. It's enough to send a chill down my spine.

It's silent for a few moments and I breathe out a shocked chuckle. "That... was the coolest thing I have ever seen."

#you'll float queue #stranger things #will byers x reader #reader insert #will byers #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #cosmic #m!cosmic #y/n henderson #el hopper #eleven #x male!reader #x m!reader #will byers x male reader #stranger things x reader #x reader #the weirdo on maple street

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odos-bucket · 3 years ago

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In Which Each of Bruce’s Kids Come Out to Him

and then he comes out to them

Dick

They’re working on opposite sides of the coffee table in one of the manor’s more habitable sitting room’s. It’s become a regular part of their weekday routine: Bruce finishes up whatever office work he has to do, while Dick does his homework, and talks about his day. Usually there are snacks involved. A parenting book Bruce had read recommended trying to get their work done together. It’s a good way to keep connected with their increasingly busy schedules.

“So anyways…” Dick’s story is starting to slow down a little bit, and the shift in tone has Bruce glancing up from his paperwork. “I should probably tell you, since, well, everyone knows at school now.” His voice is still conversational, and relaxed, but a little distracted.

Bruce shifts him his full attention.

“See, what happened was Cameron Josephs in my third period biology class came to school with nail polish on today, which I noticed with my clever detective skills, and promptly dismissed as unimportant, and everyone else noticed with their nosy pre-teen skills, and promptly lost their shi- I mean, minds over. And that was Mrs. Horton’s class, and she has absolutely no control over her students, so it sort of became this whole big thing. Kids were making fun of him, and other kids were yelling at them to knock it off, and he was just trying to do his work, but the rest of the class got into a big fight. And then Brad Cormick- he’s on my basketball team- made a homophobic joke, and we were sitting at the same table, and I could tell that he wanted me to laugh at it. So I told him to shut up, and said that I was bisexual, not that any of it really had anything to do with anything else that was going on, but it did get him to shut up, which was good. Except that I think it may have been because I have more friends than Cameron does, which is totally unfair, and everyone should just be nice to everyone else no matter what, but also I guess not really the point… The point is, yeah, I’m bi. Oh, also frog dissection got moved to tomorrow because one kid threw up.”

Dick takes a deep breath (finally) and a long sip of his juice, before immediately returning to doodling athletic stick figures in the margins of his algebra homework.

Bruce studies him for a moment, trying to figure out what kind of response is expected of him, what would be helpful for Dick to hear. He’s really not very good at this kind of thing.

He’s saved from the risk of putting his foot in his mouth when the science class story continues.

“Are frogs really that gross? I don’t think they are. But I guess our basement is filled with guano, so maybe my tolerance is heightened by regular exposure to the substance most frequently equated with insanity.”

Dick hadn’t seemed nervous before coming out, or relieved after. And if he’s not going to make it into a big deal then neither is Bruce, even if a part of him feels pleasantly warmed by the casual show of trust.

Jason

Bruce loves picking up his kids from school. It’s not something that his schedule allows him to do very often, and Jason- as Dick had been before him- always seems pleasantly surprised to see him. It’s a little thing in the grand scheme, but it’s just nice, normal. And he would never say it out loud- he’s not sure why, he knows he should- but he cherishes the little bit of extra time spent with his boys.

But today Jason isn’t happy to see him.

Bruce pulls up to the curb, and only has to scan the crowd of teenagers for a few seconds before spotting him. He’s on a bench with another student, their shoulders pressed together despite wide swaths of free space available on either side of them. Jason’s pointing out something in a textbook, while the other boy plays with his free hand.

Bruce pulls slightly to the side to let another car drive around him, figuring he’ll give Jason a few minutes to finish up, and notice that Bruce is there, rather than call out and risk embarrassing him.

It’s not even a full minute before they make eye contact across the lot, and immediately something in Jason’s expression changes. His eyes go wide and startled, his posture suddenly tightened. In one fast motion he shuts his book with both hands, muttering something to his friend as he practically throws himself off the bench.

Now feeling on high alert, Bruce sweeps an intense gaze over the school yard for anything that could have upset his son. He doesn’t manage to spot anything before Jason arrives at the car and pulls himself into the backseat (where he never sits, unless the front is already occupied). He starts talking before Bruce can ask what’s wrong.

“That wasn’t what it looked like!”

Bruce frowns, and looks over both Jason and the area in front of the school in an attempt to identify something that isn’t like how it looks.

“He just-“ Jason flinches, seemingly realizing something wrong with whatever he’d been about to say, and cuts himself off with a sharp breath. “I mean-“

Feeling lost is by no means a new part of parenthood for Bruce, and he’s sure it’s something he’ll experience many more times going forward. But, god, he really hates not understanding what’s going on, not knowing what to do, and he doubts that he’ll ever get used to it.

“Jason,” he tries. “Slow down.”

“Yes, sir,” Jason answers automatically. “Sorry.”

It’s been over a year since Jason’s called him ‘sir’ and the sudden reintroduction of the honorific sends a cold chill down Bruce’s spine. For a second they just stare at each other, with what Bruce is pretty sure are matching expressions of partially concealed horror.

“Jason,” he says more quietly.

“I know,” Jason interrupts. “I’m sorry. Please-“ He stops himself, covering his mouth before he can finish the thought, and then just as quickly lowering the hand back to his lap.

Another silence follows, short but harrowing. Then finally Bruce makes a rare admission

“I have no idea what’s happening right now.”

Jason stares at him, and the wider his eyes get the younger he looks, and the more Bruce wants to scoop him up into his arms. But he just waits, and tries not to look too expectant.

“I-I was holding hands with Derek,” Jason breaths out.

“…Alright?” He’s heard that name before. Jason doesn’t have as many friends at school as Dick had, so they’re a little easier to keep track of, even if Bruce has only ever met any of them in passing. “Is this someone you’re worried I’ll embarrass you in front of?” He asks after a brief pause.

Jason keeps staring at him, expression crinkling as his breathing grows erratic.

Bruce finds himself automatically exaggerating his own inhales and exhales, resting the side of one hand against his sternum, to remind Jason of some of their breathing exercises.

“That’s it, chum,” he says as he sees it slowly begin to work. “Everything’s okay.” For all he knows- or doesn’t know- right now it might not even be true, but dammit for his kid he will make everything okay.

“Everything’s okay,” Jason obediently echoes.

Bruce takes his hand off his chest, and starts to reach towards him. But Jason flinches away from him, not as violently as he had back when they were still new to each others’ lives, but it’s enough to make Bruce feel sick. He can practically feel the wrongness of it squeezing his heart into shards as he slowly withdraws his arm back into the front seat. He had truly thought that they had gotten past this.

“I’m sorry, Jay,” he says softly, a small concession to the part of himself that wants to beg his son’s forgiveness for whatever he’s done to make him afraid. “I’m so sorry.”

Jason’s not looking at him anymore. His head is down, and his gaze is fixed on his knees.

Bruce hesitates.

“I’ll never hurt you.” It’s a reassurance he had thought they were past the point of needing, but if they aren’t he’ll say it as many times as he has to. “Never.”

“Are you mad?”

“Is there something particular that I’m supposed to be mad about?” Bruce asks carefully.

“... That I was holding hands with a guy,” Jason elaborates, after a steadying breath.

Oh, Bruce is an idiot. What kind of detective is he if he can’t even- He cuts himself off, realizing he can’t wait too long to respond to that.

“Of course not. That’s what this is about?”

“I never meant for you to find out,” is the response he gets. And doesn’t that just hurt like hell to hear?

“That you like boys?” Bruce confirms.

“And girls, both. But I didn’t know what you’d think, so I figured if I couldn’t be sure it was better to keep it to myself.”

Bruce closes his eyes, taking a second to calm his own breathing.

“I never want you to feel like that,” he says. “About anything. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear. I love you, Jaylad, that isn’t contingent on anything.”

I wish I could have protected you from whatever it was that made you feel like this was something you had to hide. He doesn’t say it.

Jason is finally looking at him again, gaze thoughtful and careful. A long moment passes, before he surprises- and momentarily terrifies- Bruce by getting out of the car. But before he can react to that, Jason’s climbing into the passenger seat, and after a second of hesitation, leaning into Bruce’s side.

“Okay,” he says quietly, sounding a little choked up.

Bruce puts an arm around his shoulders. The closeness is a balm after the pain of having his son flinch away from him.

Tim

Tim isn’t supposed to come over today. His parents are in town, and Bruce had made a point of hiding his reluctance when he’d given Robin the week off, chastising himself for the empty nest syndrome he has no right to be experiencing- at least in regards to this particular child.

So he’s surprised when he hears Alfred’s throat clear, and looks up to see both Alfred and Tim lingering in the doorway to his office. It would be odd to see him here at this time of day even if they had been planning to go on patrol; sunset is still a few hours off.

Bruce immediately has a bad feeling. He knows it’s commonplace for the Drakes to disappear unexpectedly partway through whatever length of time they were meant to be spending at home. As Batman it’s made his life easier numerous times. As a parent it’s beyond his comprehension. If he still had his boys at home- but he can’t think about that, not without breaking down, and if Tim’s just been abandoned that’s the last thing he needs.

As he approaches the door, Alfred’s pointed look, and Tim’s vacant expression confirm that he’s right to be concerned.

“Tim.” He keeps his voice neutral. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”

He picks up on Alfred’s glare a fraction of a second too late to realize that he’s said the wrong thing.

“I’m sorry.” There’s something miserable in Tim’s voice, that makes Bruce want to bundle him up in a blanket. Before he can assure him that he has nothing to apologize for, Alfred cuts in.

“I told Master Tim that he’s welcome to stay with us for as long as he needs.”

Bruce nods automatically, looking down at Tim, who’s glassy expression looks a million miles away.

“Tim,” he says gently, eventually drawing the boy’s gaze, but feeling disconcerted by how delayed the response is.

Alfred leaves with a comment about putting a kettle on for tea, closing the door firmly but softly behind him. The sound it makes as it pulls all the way shut still makes Tim twitch.

“Do you want to sit down?” Bruce offers.

Tim stumbles a bit on his way to the couch. He’s so out of it; He won’t be patrolling tonight, even if his schedule’s suddenly open for it. Bruce sits down on the other side.

“Are they gone again?” He asks, trusting fully that the vaguely worded question will be completely understood.

There’s a worrying delay before Tim shakes his head, giving Bruce ample time to wish for Alfred back before he can register the response enough to be surprised by it.

“So...“ he begins uncertainly, before being cut off.

“I’m sorry,” Tim says again. “I don’t mean to be a bother.”

“You aren’t a bother, Tim.”

The- admittedly somewhat monotone- assurance just gets him a shrug.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He tries.

“Do I have to?” Tim asks after a long silence. “Can’t I just stay here?”

Bruce frowns.

“Of course you can stay here. But I think I really need to know what’s going on.”

Tim stares at him, eyes shining, mouth opening and closing several times before he speaks.

“Can I- Alfred says I can tell you something, and you won’t get mad?”

“Well, that depends on what it is,” Bruce says, thinking back on every time a robin has had something to tell him, but first wanted confirmation that he wouldn’t be angry.

Tim seems to shrink at his words, his breath catching audibly as he curls in on himself. Fuck, Bruce is bad at this.

“What do you have to tell me?” He asks.

“Well now I don’t know if I want to!” It almost comes out as a yell, strained by the sound of held back tears, and Bruce is a little taken aback.

“I’ll probably find out at some point,” he reasons.

There’s a beat of silence, and then Tim chokes on something that sounds like a suppressed sob.

No, no, no no. This isn’t supposed to happen. Bruce reaches out for him in an awkward and hastily aborted movement.

“I can’t,” Tim says after a minutes, tears streaking over his pale cheeks. “If you don’t-“ His voice catches. “I need you to let me stay here.”

Bruce’s heart hurts as he scooches a little closer, reaching out to rest a hand- hopefully not too awkwardly- on Tim’s shoulder.

“Of course you can stay here,” he reiterates. “I told you you could stay here. Even if I’m mad at you you can stay here. If you-“ He searches for a moment. “-Took the batmobile out on a joyride, and drove it into the harbor, I’ll be mad at you, but you’ll still have a place here. One will never have anything to do with the other.”

Tim makes a noise that’s over too quickly for Bruce to be able to tell if it had been a laugh, or just more crying.

“Did Jason do that?” He asks in a hoarse voice.

“Dick,” Bruce corrects.

This time Tim definitely snorts, which has Bruce smiling in spite of himself.

“Did you do something worse than that?” He asks.

It’s meant to be a joke, but Tim makes an unhappy face at the question.

“I- no!” He says, defensive, but confident. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Bruce gives his shoulder a squeeze before releasing it.

“Then why would I be mad at you?”

The humor that had begun to make its way into Tim’s expression disappears again, and Bruce curses himself.

“Mom and Dad were mad,” he says quietly.

Bruce scowls. He tries pretty hard not to let his dislike of Jack and Janet show around Tim- though he’s long suspected the young detective can tell- but it’s harder to hide sometimes than others.

“You said they were still home,” he remembers. “Tim, did they kick you out?” He does his best to keep the anger out of his voice.

And then he finds himself doing his best to keep the anger off of his face when it takes Tim a moment to answer the question.

“I don’t think forever,” he says uncertainly. “Just- They said they needed time to think about it, to d-decide what to do.”

The slight stutter puts him over the age, and fury starts to trickle into Bruce’s voice.

“To think about what?” He demands. Hell, that place is more Tim’s home than it is theirs. They have absolutely no right to ask him to leave! And where the hell do they expect him to go? Bruce forces himself to clench his jaw, and take deep breaths.

“...I’m gay,” Tim finally says.

Bruce stares at him for the second that it takes for the words to register, and connect back to the rest of the conversation.

“That’s it?”

He’s wincing at himself before the question is all the way out of his mouth, immediately convinced that he’s said the wrong thing again. But then, to his immense relief, he realizes that Tim has started laughing. It isn’t deep, or sustained. His voice is still a little weak, and his eyes are still a little red. But he’s definitely laughing, and Bruce realizes vaguely that a robin laughing is still his favorite sound in the world.

“That’s it,” Tim confirms, on the tail end of his laugh.

“Oh, Tim.”

Bruce doesn’t give himself a chance to second guess the motion before he pulls the boy into a hug, satisfied that it was the right course of action when he feels Tim melt against him.

“Of course I’m not mad, of course I’m not mad,” he repeats like a mantra. “I’m sorry I let you think I would be. You’re right, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

A few seconds pass, and he realizes there’s a wet patch at his shoulder where Tim’s face is buried. Bruce freezes, totally unsure of what he’s done wrong this time.

“I’m sorry,” Tim breaths out. “I- thank you. Thank you! I don’t know what I would have done if- I- I don’t want to be alone!”

“Not alone,” Bruce promises. “You’re not alone. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Tim presses closer, and Bruce takes it as a cue to tighten his hold.

Alfred finds them like that a few minutes later, Tim curled up in his arms, while Bruce cycles through reassurances. The look they exchange is enough to confirm that they’re both thinking the same thing: this kid is ours.

Cass

One day Cass hangs a little pride flag up on her door. Later in the week when she catches Bruce glancing at it, she comes up to him, gives the flag a meaningful nod, before just saying, “Girls!” in a happy voice, giving him a hug, and disappearing down the hall.

Damian

Bruce can identify every member of his family by their knock, but Damian’s is particularly distinctive. Not just because it tends to come from a lower part of the door, but because Damian has cultivated a strong knock, the way businessmen cultivate a strong handshake. It’s a very confident and determined sound, that he often finds himself stifling a smile at, knowing that that isn’t at all the intended reaction.

“Come in,” he calls, and there’s no pause before Damian strides into his office, confident as ever. When he speaks however, the undercurrents of his voice tell a different story.

“Father, there is something I wish to discuss with you.” There are a few hesitations, that don’t quite manage to turn into stutters in his voice, ones it’s unlikely anyone outside of their family would notice.

Bruce doesn’t comment on them, just nods for Damian to sit down and continue.

His legs don’t fully reach the floor. Something else that Bruce has learned not to let himself smile at.

“Grayson says…” he begins confidently, before trailing off.

Bruce just raises an eyebrow for him to continue, not feeling like he has enough information to put anything together from at the moment.

“Richard says,” Damian continues more carefully. “He came out to you as bisexual when he was around my age?”

Bruce nods. He has a feeling that he knows where this is going this time.

“He did.”

“He said that you were okay with it?”

Bruce nods again.

“Dick is my son. My love for him isn’t conditional, certainly not on that. There’s nothing wrong with not being straight.”

Damian had broached the topic using Dick as a proxy, so Bruce had followed his lead and assumed that Damian would know to automatically apply the assurance to himself. But Damian’s face just falls into a puzzled frown.

“So why…” he begins, before changing track. “Richard isn’t your biological son.”

Bruce frowns back.

“Damian, you know that doesn’t make a difference to me. I don’t love your siblings any less because they’re not-”

“I know,” Damian cuts in. “It isn’t about loving us differently.” He says it very matter of factly. “I have the ability to carry on your bloodline, whereas they do not.”

“That ability isn’t an obligation,” Bruce says, wondering why his kids never seem to be able to just worry about normal things. “And it’s certainly not something that you need to be thinking about at thirteen years old.”

Damian nods slowly, staring down at the desk with a look of intense concentration, before slowly raising his gaze to Bruce.

“Mother and Grandfather said that you wouldn’t like it, if I wasn’t interested in girls,” he says quietly.

Bruce sighs. of-fucking-course they did. He gets up from his chair, and moves around the desk to kneel in front of Damian.

“Well they’re wrong,” he says simply. “And they had no right to lead you to believe that it would make any difference to me. Just like I don’t love your siblings any less, my love for you is no more conditional. Understand?”

It takes a moment, but Damian nods.

“All right. In which case, I suppose... I’m gay.”

“And I’m proud of you,” Bruce says, before pulling his son into a hug.

Bruce

Bruce looks at his assembled family, and begins to feel a strange sense of trepidation tickling at the edge of his consciousness.

They’re all here. Trying to get the whole family together all at once is like pulling teeth. But he told them it was important, and they all came. There have been plenty of points over the course of the years when that wouldn’t have happened. And even though they’ve all been pretty settled with each other for a while now, he never wants to take for granted having his whole family together- not that he thinks the part of him that only seems to settle when he has all of his children within arm’s reach would let him.

The comfort of having them all be together is overwhelming, but the trepidation is still there, just like it probably always will be any time he manages to round up the courage for anything resembling feelings talk.

They’re all in one of the living rooms, sprawled in a comfortable half circle across various couches and chairs.

“There’s something I wanted to tell you all,” Bruce starts to say.

“Are you dying?” Stephanie asks casually.

Beside her, Cass freezes, looking horrified.

“I’m not dying,” Bruce says quickly.

At the same time Steph rubs a hand up and down Cass’s arm and assures her she was kidding.

“Not like he’d tell us if he was,” Dick says.

He knows it’s meant to be a joke, just like Stephanie’s question had been, but it still sends a chill through him. Mostly because he can’t say for sure that Dick is totally wrong; it’s the kind of thing he easily could have kept to himself. But then he sees the uncertain frown that Damian is giving him, and Cass’s wide, anxious eyes, and decides that he has to be wrong.

“I’m not dying,” he repeats, reaching out for Tim who’s sitting closest to him, and who’s been staring very intently at the floor since the topic came up.

Tim leans into the touch without shifting his position.

“And I would tell you,” he adds seriously, feeling absolutely wracked with guilt over the fact that up until this moment he doesn’t know if he would’ve been able to claim that with any certainty.

“I swear, if there’s anything wrong with me, all of you will know as soon as possible.” By the time it comes out of his mouth, he knows he means it with total certainty.

“I think we’re all pretty tuned into the fact that there’s something wrong with you,” Jason offers, and the tension in the room breaks.

Bruce smiles despite himself. That was agonizing. Compared to that getting on with the conversation he’d previously been so apprehensive to have will be a relief.

“What did you want to tell us?” Duke asks.

“It can be… difficult for me to articulate what it means to me whenever one of you trusts me enough to share something about yourself. I thought that I owed it to all of you to return the favor, and share a… recent discovery of mine.” He stumbles through it as awkwardly as he’d expected to.

“This is weird,” Stephanie stage whispers.

“I’m bisexual,” Bruce admits.

“Bruce!” Dick says excitedly.

“Unacceptable,” Jason cuts in. “We already have enough of that nonsense in this house!”

Tim kicks him in the side.

“Well, seeing as it’s an option, I for one prefer the idea of you pursuing romantic entanglements that bear no risk of resulting in pregnancy.”

“Noted, Damian.”

“I’m happy for you, B,” Tim says. “It can be hard figuring yourself out.”

“Thank you, Tim.”

“Is that it?” Duke asks. “I mean, not that it’s not a big deal- and I’m happy for you too by the way- it’s just that most of our family meetings involve addressing some kind of crisis.”

“That’s it,” Bruce admits.

“Perhaps- seeing as we’re all here anyways- we could take this opportunity to have dinner together as a family for once,” Alfred offers.

#batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #damian wayne #batman #batfam #dc #my writing #fluff and angst

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bamf-jaskier · 4 years ago

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What the fuck are the Trials

Since the show is based on the books and not the games, and more people are more familiar with the games that the books, I thought it might be helpful to sort of officialize the posts I’ve done about specific topics in the books.

Here are the previous posts on Triss&Geralt as well as Coën

TLDR: So looking at this process, according to the books the way a Witcher becomes, well a Witcher looks like this:

There is the Choice which is the decision to become a Witcher made when you are a child

Eat a lot of magic mushrooms that give you the strength and ability Witchers are known for

Then the Trial of the Grasses which is a concoction of mutagenic elixirs injected into the bloodstream which mutates you into a Witcher

Then finally there are the Changes. This is a big step and one that requires a mage. This is when the hormones are changed and a Witcher becomes permanently sterile

then there is training until you earn your medallion and BOOM, out onto the path with you

Now, have a post about what the trials are as far as the books are concerned

It’s important to note that in the books, The Witcher are a dying breed so the Trials are really only mentioned in Blood of Elves when Ciri trains with the Witchers and the two prequels, Sword of Destiny and The Last Wish.

Let’s start out with the basics of the Trials, here is a passage from Blood of Elves where Triss is wondering why the Witchers at Kaer Morhen are being so secretive in regards to Ciri:

“It’s obvious. They want to mutate the child, subject her to the Trial of Grasses and Changes, but they don’t know how to do it. Vesemir was the only witcher left from the previous generation, and he was only a fencing instructor. The Laboratorium, hidden in the vaults of Kaer Morhen, with its dusty demi-johns of elixirs, the alembics, ovens and retorts…

None of the witchers knew how to use them. The mutagenic elixirs had been concocted by some renegade wizard in the distant past and then perfected over the years by the wizard’s successors, who had, over the years, magically controlled the process of Changes to which children were subjected. And at a vital moment the chain had snapped.

There was no more magical knowledge or power. The witchers had the herbs and Grasses, they had the Laboratorium. They knew the recipe. But they had no wizard.”

Later:

“And now they want to mutate the girl but can’t. And that might mean… They may ask me to help. And then I’ll see something no living wizard has seen, I’ll learn something no living wizard has learned. Their famous Grasses and herbs, the secret virus cultures, the renowned, mysterious recipes…”

Now, what Triss doesn’t realize is that Geralt and the others are not planning on subjecting Ciri to the trials at all but are instead trying to hide Ciri’s magical ability from Triss. They are worried she will report them to the Chapter.

Of course, until they tell Triss this, she is deeply suspicious and goes on to talk about the mushrooms Witchers have access to which are extremely unique.

“Of course, thought Triss. They’re feeding her those legendary cave saprophytes – a mountain plant unknown to science – giving her the famous infusions of their mysterious herbs to drink. The girl is developing quickly, is acquiring a witcher’s infernal fitness. Naturally, without the mutation, without the risk, without the hormonal upheaval. But the magician must not know this. It is to be kept a secret from the magician. They aren’t going to tell me anything; they aren’t going to show me anything.”

Later:

“I don’t give a fig for your trust, witchers. There’s cancer out there in the world, smallpox, tetanus and leukaemia, there are allergies, there’s cot death. And you’re keeping your “mushrooms”, which could perhaps be distilled and turned into life-saving medicines, hidden away from the world. You’re keeping them a secret even from me, and others to whom you declare your friendship, respect and trust. Even I’m forbidden to see not just the Laboratorium, but even the bloody mushrooms!”

Triss as a mage has extreme bias against the Trials and for good reason! Most of the populace doesn’t have access to any information on the Trials outside of vague ideas but Mages have access to first hand accounts such as this from Blood of Elves:

“On the third day all the children died save one, a male barely ten. Hitherto agitated by a sudden madness, he fell all at once into deep stupor. His eyes took on a glassy gaze; incessantly with his hands did he clutch at clothing, or brandish them in the air as if desirous of catching a quill. His breathing grew loud and hoarse; sweat cold, clammy and malodorous appeared on his skin. Then was he once more given elixir through the vein and the seizure it did return. This time a nose-bleed did ensue, coughing turned to vomiting, after which the male weakened entirely and became inert.

For two days more did symptoms not subside. The child’s skin, hitherto drenched in sweat, grew dry and hot, the pulse ceased to be full and firm – albeit remaining of average strength, slow rather than fast. No more did he wake, nor did he scream.

Finally, came the seventh day. The male awoke and opened his eyes, and his eyes were as those of a viper…”

~Carla Demetia Crest, The Trial of Grasses and other secret Witcher practices, seen with my own eyes, manuscript exclusively accessible to the Chapter of Wizards

When most people think of the Trials, they are thinking similarly to Queen Calanthe in Sword of Destiny.

Here is what Calanthe says to Geralt when talking about what he might do with his child surprise:

“You are astonished,’ she stated. ‘Well, I’ve studied a little. Since Pavetta’s child has the chance of becoming a witcher, I went to great pains. My sources, Geralt, reveal nothing, however, regarding how many children in ten withstand the Trial of the Grasses. Would you like to satisfy my curiosity in this regard?’

‘O Queen,’ Geralt said, clearing his throat. ‘You certainly went to sufficient pains in your studies to know that the code and my oath forbid me from even uttering that name, much less discussing it.’

Calanthe stopped the swing abruptly by jabbing a heel into the ground. ‘Three, at most four in ten,’ she said, nodding her head in feigned pensiveness.

‘A stringent selection, very stringent, I’d say, and at every stage. First the Choice and then the Trials. And then the Changes. How many youngsters ultimately receive medallions and silver swords? One in ten? One in twenty?”

Later Calanthe asks Geralt:

“Do you believe a Child of Destiny would pass through the Trials without danger?’

‘We believe such a child would not require the Trials.’

‘One question, Geralt. Quite a personal one. May I?’

He nodded.

‘There is no better way to pass on hereditary traits than the natural way, as we know. You went through the Trials and survived. So if you need a child with special qualities and endurance… Why don’t you find a woman who… I’m tactless, aren’t I? But I think I’ve guessed, haven’t I?’

‘As usual,’ he said, smiling sadly, ‘you are correct in your deductions, Calanthe. You guessed right, of course. What you’re suggesting is impossible for me.’

‘Forgive me,’ she said, and the smile vanished from her face. ‘Oh, well, it’s a human thing.’

‘It isn’t human.’

‘Ah… So, no witcher can—’

‘No, none. The Trial of the Grasses, Calanthe, is dreadful. And what is done to boys during the time of the Changes is even worse. And irreversible.”

Later:

“The risks are too great,’ Geralt said quickly. ‘As you said. At most, four out of ten survive.’

‘Dammit, is only the Trial of the Grasses hazardous? Do only potential witchers take risks? Life is full of hazards, selection also occurs in life, Geralt. Misfortune, sicknesses and wars also select. Defying destiny may be just as hazardous as succumbing to it. Geralt… I would give you the child. But… I’m afraid, too.’

Then in The Last Wish, Geralt describes his own experiences with The Trials:

“Kaer Morhen…That's where the likes of me were produced. It's not done anymore; no one lives in Kaer Morhen now. No one but Vesemir. Who's Vesemir? My father. Why are you so surprised? What's so strange about it? Everyone's got a father, and mine is Vesemir. And so what if he's not my real father? I didn't know him, or my mother. I don't even know if they're still alive, and I don't much care.

“Yes, Kaer Morhen. I underwent the usual mutation there, through the Trial of Grasses, and then hormones, herbs, viral infections. And then through them all again. And again, to the bitter end. Apparently, I took the changes unusually well; I was only ill briefly. I was considered to be an exceptionally resilient brat…and was chosen for more complicated experiments as a result. They were worse. Much worse. But, as you see, I survived. The only one to live out of all those chosen for further trials. My hair's been white ever since. Total loss of pigmentation. A side effect, as they say. A trifle.

“Then they taught me various things until the day when I left Kaer Morhen and took to the road. I’d earned my medallion, the Sign of the Wolf's School. I had two swords: silver and iron, and my conviction, enthusiasm, incentive and…faith. Faith that I was needed in a world full of monsters and beasts, to protect the innocent. As I left Kaer Morhen, I dreamed of meeting my first monster. I couldn't wait to stand eye to eye with him. And the moment arrived.”

So looking at this process, according to the books the way a Witcher becomes, well a Witcher looks like this:

There is the Choice which is the decision to become a Witcher made when you are a child

Eat a lot of magic mushrooms that give you the strength and ability Witchers are known for

Then the Trial of the Grasses which is a concoction of mutagenic elixirs injected into the bloodstream which mutates you into a Witcher

Then finally there are the Changes. This is a big step and one that requires a mage. This is when the hormones are changed and a Witcher becomes permanently sterile

then there is training until you earn your medallion and BOOM, out onto the path with you

This is why it’s such a big deal that Triss was brought to Kaer Morhen. Without a mage, someone cannot become a full Witcher and Triss believed that was why she was there. Of course, this wasn’t true but it’s a valid concern to have.

One thing I want to note, there is absolutely NOTHING in the text that says that being a Witcher is limited to any sort of gender boundary. The fact that Triss so readily jumped to Ciri becoming a Witcher and the fact that Geralt didn’t specify boys until he was talking about the sterilization process...well, there is a likelihood female Witchers actually existed.

Again, in the books Witchers are a dying breed and you can literally count on one hand the number of Witchers we meet. Of course, considering mages are the ones who made Witchers, it makes sense that female Witchers are either strongly discouraged, banned or simply not talked about.

One big point Triss has against Ciri’s training is that she won’t “develop” correctly like a woman “should” due to the mushrooms and harsh training and considering how so many northern mages place importance on beauty I could definitely see mages not wanting to have female Witchers, considering it a “perversion”.

Just a fun thought I often have about the books that I haven’t seen anyone point out.

So overall, here is what the books have to say about the Trials, it’s a touch different from the games but I find this very fascinating and interesting. Let me know if you want me to do a specific topic or relationship next, but for now, thanks for reading!

#I was actually thinking about making a post about what the schools look like in the books tonight #thought it might be intersting #the witcher #wtf series #the trials #the trial of the grasses #the changes #geralt #The Witcher netflix #the Witcher books #asaps #andrzej sapkowski #sword of destiny #blood of elves #the last wish #quotes #myposts #meta

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kentochronicles · 4 years ago

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***SPOILERS FOR WANDAVISION EPISODE 6***

So I’m still processing everything but holy shite that ep was wild...

FIRST THINGS FIRST - WANDA, VISION, BILLY AND PIETRO ALL IN COMIC ACCURATE-ISH COSTUMES AND TOMMY IN A MINI QUICKSILVER COSTUME

PIETRO CALLING BILLY AND TOMMY DEMON SPAWN - GOD DAMMIT, IT’S MEPHISTO ISN’T IT? HOUSE OF M HERE WE COME

HERB ASKING WANDA IF SHE WANTED SOMETHING CHANGED

AGNES ASKING VISION ABOUT THE AVENGERS AND STUFF AND AT FIRST SHE SEEMED GENUINELY FREAKED OUT BUT THEN STARTED LAUGHING MANIACALLY AND I STILL DON’T TRUST HER AND AGNES BEING DRESSED AS A WITCH? AGATHA HARKNESS WAS A WITCH - COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!

DARCY LOOKING OVER MONICA’S MED SCANS AND TELLING HER HOW THE HEX AFFECTS HER EACH TIME SHE GOES IN - IS SHE DEVELOPING HER POWERS?

PIETRO’S CORPSE - SCARED ME JUST AS MUCH AS VISION’S

MOVIES SHOWING IN THE THEATRE IN THE BACKGROUND - THE INCREDIBLES: A MOVIE BASED AROUND A SUPERHERO FAMILY AND THE PARENT TRAP: A MOVIE ABOUT TWINS WHO MEET AT CAMP AND TRY AND SET THEIR PARENTS UP

DON’T GO PAST ELLIS AVENUE - NOW I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS A CONNECTION OR JUST A COINCIDENCE BUT ELLIS IS THE LAST NAME OF THE PRESIDENT DURING IRON MAN 3

TOMMY HAVING HIS SPEED POWERS AND BILLY HAVING HIS REALITY WARPING/TELEKINETIC POWERS - WELCOME SPEED AND WICCAN

A CALL BACK TO INFINITY WAR WHEN VISION EXITED THE HEX? SLIGHTLY DUSTING AND HE PROBABLY WON’T SURVIVE BEING OUTSIDE OF THE HEX - HE’LL JUST DIE AGAIN 🥲

I STILL DON’T TRUST HAYWARD - HE’S VERY SUS

DARCY BEING TAKEN INTO THE HEX WITH THE OTHER S.W.O.R.D AGENTS - HOPEFULLY WE CAN SEE THE OUTFITS THAT KAT DENNING’S WAS EXCITED ABOUT

I SWEAR THEY BETTER NOT STRAIGHTWASH BILLY AND TOMMY OR I WILL RIOT 😤

***FURTHER UPDATES***

So sit-com wise, it seems they were referencing Malcolm in the Middle as the twins broke the fourth wall and talked to the audience, like Malcolm did

However, the theme song has told the viewer to stop questioning the reality of Westview - which could be a little reference to Mystery Science Theatre 3000? - When Pietro first shows up in the title sequence, along with his name title card, the lyrics say “Though there may be no way of knowing who’s come to play” - Istg, I do not trust Pietro

Vision says to Wanda that he had to wear his Halloween costume because there were no other clothes in his closet, Wanda is trying to move the plot along and forcing Vision to play along

Evan Peters’ ‘Mom’ tattoo is shown, which is a tattoo he actually has in real life ! But could this stand for ‘Multiverse of Madness’ or some other red herring?

Pietro mentions to Wanda that if he had found ‘Shangri-La’ he wouldn’t want to leave either - Shangri-La is a real place on Earth-616 that was founded by a version of Vision

Tommy refers to Pietro’s speed as ‘kickass’ and then Wanda repeats that, saying ‘kickass’ again - Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Evan Peters (both versions of QuickSilver) were in Kick-Ass together

The ad for this episode was freaky af - the character on the beach who starved and decomposed could be a little nod to Indiana Jones, where a Nazi’s face melts in - and it could also be reference to Wanda being all alone and struggling to process her grief. The shark in the ad could also be Nightmare or Mephisto or just someone more powerful than Wanda offering her a new beginning with Vision or trapped her in some way - and is feeding off her magic? The flavour of the yoghurt is strawberry flavoured and strawberry’s are red on the outside and pink-ish on the inside - much like Wanda’s og costume and her magic being red 👀

Pietro and Wanda talk about their Sokovian accents at a point in the episode and how neither have them anymore. Wanda’s, as we know, has disappeared over the course of the MCU movies and Pietro’s just doesn’t exist - another nice little nod to Peter Maximoff from the fox X-Men films? Also, Pietro states that “I’m just trying to do my part, okay? Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the Rugrats (a 90’s cartoon 👀) and ultimately give you grief.” - in reference to the grief part, could Pietro be killed off again? Stir up trouble with the rugrats, being possible shards of the demon Mephisto’s soul, could this be Mephisto trying to influence them on a deeper level? It’s also many many common sitcom clichès

Pietro talks about how “I got shot like a chump on the street for no reason at all” - nice little nod to how Pietro was killed off unnecessarily and how we as a fandom still talk about how regular bullets shouldn’t have killed him

Herb is dressed as Frankenstein’s monster - Dr. Frankenstein created his monster and soon lost control over him, and he was created using electricity or lightning - much like Vision was created and brought to life by Thor using Mjolnïr to bring lightning down to his incubator thingy majig. Could this also be a reference to either Wanda slowly losing control over Westview or someone else controlling Wanda/controlling the citizens of Westview - we saw in episode 3 that Agnes told Herb to be quiet as it seemed he was about to spill the beans 👀

Vision goes towards Ellis avenue and is at a ‘crossroads’ of sorts - in folklore, crossroads are often used to speak to or summon the devil and are also used when an important character is making a decision that could change everything. He spots some citizens repeating certain actions and/or just standing completely still, could these be npc’s (non playable characters)? And now that the barrier of the Hex has spread, will those citizens now start to move? 👀 Also I know that all stop signs look like it, but the stop sign is also a red hexagon 🛑

Darcy scrolls through Hayward’s computer files and goes past a file called “Project C4-113” - it could reference Avengers Issue #113 in which Wanda and Vision both appear on the cover and she says she’s going to make the world pay for Vision’s death. There’s also another file called “Project M5-247” which could be a nod to Avengers Issue #247, which shows the origin of the Eternals and in the same vein, Scarlet Witch and Vision trying to help Captain Marvel. And when Darcy emails Hayward’s cataract plans, you can see the names of “James Alexander and James Gadd” - James Alexander is a visual effects producer on Wandavision and James Gadd works on post production at Marvel

Also: Agnes pulls as Mrs Hart and repeats the same phrase over and over again

After Wanda blasts Pietro, you can see on a fake grave stone the name of “Janell Sammelman”, Janell is a first assistant director on Wandavision

When Wanda moves Westview to save Vision, she turns S.W.O.R.D and it’s agents into clowns + a circus - I just love that the agents turned into clowns 😂 but there is a nice little plot line in the comics where Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver and Hawkeye join the circus - and this COULD be stretch, but earlier in the episode there is the number #22 which could be Avengers Issue #22, which is the Issue that they join the circus

As soon as Vision was brought back into Westview, he was healed - which means if he was to exit again, he probably wouldn’t survive 😭

The episode title is ‘All-New Halloween Spooktackular!” - which “All-New” is a designation that is often used on covers for comic books. And the first issue of the second The Vision and the Scarlet Witch series takes place on Halloween night - but the events in this comics didn’t influence this episode’s plot

Pietro points out that he has the “XY chromosome” - X for X-Men? Plus there’s the X gene 😂

He mentions “Uncle Peter to the rescue” - Peter is the name of Quicksilver from the Fox X-Men Franchise

Pietro and Tommy quote the movie Top Gun (1986) by saying “I fell the need, the need for speed”

Wanda almost seems hesitant to trust this version of Pietro (rightfully so, in my opinion) and is wary of him being around Tommy and Billy

Pietro says some very Mephisto/Nightmare-like things this episode - “Unleash hell, demon spawn!”, “The kids need a father figure”, “Damnit, if Westview isn’t charming as Hell...” - And if Pietro isn’t Mephisto/Nightmare, it HAS to be Agnes or her other half Ralph and Pietro is probably Ralph tbh...or could Pietro just be a scapegoat and Hayward is Ralph? 👀

The theatre in town, which is playing the Incredibles and The Parent Trap, is called the Coronet. There’s a classic poem called “The Coronet” written by Andrew MARVELL (Marvell, is also the true name of the first incarnation of Captain Marvel in the comics) and is about a guy who knows that the sins of mankind led to the death of Christ. He attempts to create a new crown for Christ’s head in an attempt to atone, but finds that there is sin in the crown as well, as the devil is within the crown and therefore he may achieve glory and success with his new creation 👀

Hayward’s confidential project “Cataract” included experimenting on Vision’s body, as was revealed by Darcy (my wife 💙 and Monica is also my wife 💚 and so is Wanda 💛, I just love women, you know? 😂). A cataract is a cloudy area in the lens of the eye that leads to a decrease in vision - is Hayward trying to weaponise Vision? Or maybe even trying to bring Ultron back? Or do what Tony wanted to do in the first place, and make a suit of armour that’s around the world? Either way, it’s for nefarious purposes

Who is Monica’s guy? Jimmy and Monica are off to meet him - could it be Reed Richards (Mr Fantastic)? Or could it be Victor Von Doom (Dr Doom)? Could it be Hank McCoy (Beast)? Or even Adam Brashear (Blue Marvel)? Or if it is a woman, could it be the Skrull daughter of Talos that Monica befriended at the end of Captain Marvel? Could it be Abigail Brand (A major character in recent S.W.O.R.D comics and an Alpha Flight Member)? Or even Toni Ho (Iron Patriot, and could she be introduced to help lay the ground work for my other queen, Riri Williams/Iron Heart?)? Or could it even be Sue Storm (Invisible Woman)?

In the background of the episode we see a number of children and adults dressed up as many different characters, which includes: Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat, Jason Voorhees, with a sweater striped like Freddy Krueger’s and even a kid that looks dressed in an off-brand Charizard costume 😂 Pokèmon has always been popular, but saw an increase during the 90’s

Pietro and the kids are drinking “Kane Cola” which could be a reference to the 90’s drinks “Jolt Cola” or even “Surge” - it could also, with all the X-Men Easter eggs, be a reference to Garrison Kane, who was a member of Cable’s mercenary team “Six Pack” and is sometimes also known as ‘Weapon X’

The kid that Wanda mentions having a “skin thing” in the orphanage - could that be a reference to her Brotherhood of Evil Mutants co-worker Toad? Or maybe even Mystique? Maybe Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler)?

One of the houses has a sign up that says ‘Macabre Mansion’ - another possible reference to House of M?

During a flashback, it’s shown that the twins are playing Dance Dance Revolution, which came out in 1999. Also this might be a stretch, but the boys have a dog plushie in their room the right - which is coloured red and black - could this be a reference to Dogpool? 😂

I love this show 🤣💙

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thequietmanno1 · 2 years ago

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Thelreads, MHA 260, Replies Part 2

1) “Welp, that`s one door down, alright. I forget that she`s a top-10 ranked hero for a reason, we haven`t seen her shine so far from what I can remember, but it looks like that`s about to change.”- This chapter pretty much elevated Miruko to one of the foremost examples of badass mature action girl in the manga, ranked alongside Nana Shimura herself even. 2) “Oh it was almost that. Alright, that fits as well… But oh boy, why do I feel like he isn`t as scared as he`s trying to appear? Why do I feel like he just activated an emergency code and all hell is about to break loose?”- That’s the smile of a man who’s got five aces to your royal flush. Normally this level of coordination and swarming the building with a small army would have counted as Overkill, since as far as they knew they were going to neutralise Maruta before he could lift a finger to activate every Nomu in the building, but in this case, it turned out to be the bare minimum necessary to outplay him and his precautions. After all, if all Maruta really cares about is his mad science and not the patients he interacts with mainly for the potential quirk resources, why would he bother to keep up the pretence when Twice’s quirk offered him the opportunity to have his cake and eat it? As a bonus, it also mean that the real him would never have to leave the safety of his inner sanctum and the assorted super-soldiers incubating there, but luckily he underestimated the speed and ferocity of a white rabbit who’s got the taste for blood

3) “Oh right, just as the great bunny herself jumped into the darkness filled with death and pain, yeah there`s gonna be some nomus waiting for her won`t it?”- Well, it will be shortly filled with pain and death- but not hers.

4) “OH JESUS WHAT THE FUCK

ALRIGHT, I WASN`T EXPECTING THEM TO JUST BURST THROUGH A WALL

NOR WAS I EXPECTING THE DOCTOR HERE TO JUST BE A CLONE

HOLY FUCK THAT`S WHY THEY WERE SHOWING TWICE THAT MUCH?! SO WE REMEMBERED HIS QUIRK AND HOW INCREDIBLY USEFUL THAT SHIT IS?”- This is why Twice’s quirk is such a game-changer and a dangerous threat- even outwith the possibility of the Sad Man’s Parade or cloning manpower in a fight, it simply allows you to have more valuable pieces in position on the chessboard no matter how much you attempt to outmanoeuvre and isolate them beforehand. The heroes had Maruta dead to rights, but because it wasn’t the ‘real’ Maruta, he was still able to unleash the Nomus and cause the chaos they were desperately trying to avert. That said, it also shows a chilling commitment to the goal over the individual- as shown before, the clones themselves have individuality, but this one doesn’t even blink or flinch at himself getting impaled as a consequence of luring the heroes into the radius of the Nomu’s surprise attack, and even spends his last moments of existence mocking them for being so stupid. Just like Machia, what matters to Maruta is more than his own self-preservation, it’s his master’s success and the fulfilment of their grand dreams, and he’s to sacrifice anybody- even himself- if it means elevating Tomura to becoming the ‘Symbol of Fear’. Less so with the actual Maruta, but in that case, he knows his loss is game over for their plans, and that’s something he’s terrified of. 5) “YEAH SHERLOCK, THAT`S THE BITCH THERE.

GOD DAMMIT HE PULLED A FAST ONE ON THEM AND WE DIDN`T EVEN IMAGINED”- To be fair, as far as they know- and Hawks has been keeping a very close eye on him to be certain- Twice and Maruta never really interacted or met before, so there shouldn’t have been an opportunity for him to be cloned. On the other hand, since Twice can now clone himself, keeping an eye on the original is no guarantee than a double of Twice didn’t meet with Maruta instead. Again, Twice’s quirk is simply a game-breaker of a power, because it doesn’t matter how much you amass against it, it can simply make more than what you bring to the table, and it’s impossible to keep track of all the moving pieces or possibilities it brings to every villain who’s under the PLF’s umbrella. 6) “OH, LOOK AT THAT, IT`S MY BOY SHIGGY THE RAKI, AND STILL SOME TIME AWAY FROM BEING COMPLETE. WELL, IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY NEEDED TO WAKE HIM UP BEFORE THE TIME WAS DUE TO FIGHT THE HEROES, RIGHT??? ( : “- Thankfully, whilst the heroes didn’t foresee Maruta being able to use body doubles to focus on the surgery, the fact still remains that only Tomura can benefit from this intense medical process, and Maruta can’t create more fakes to distract them from the real deal, nor speed up the recovery process from his surgery. The heroes have struck when Tomura was most vulnerable, and given the way Maruta’s hyping up his new abilities, it’s likely that’s the only advantage they’ve got over him now. 7) “WELP, FUCKING SHAME, BUT THAT`S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUT ALL YOUR EGGS IN A SINGLE BASKET, THE BASKET GETS STOMPED DOWN BY AN ARMY OF ANGRY HEROES AND YOU DIE, THE END.”- On the other hand, the fact that all the eggs are in one spot means that AFO and Maruta didn’t have any place else to hide them. They created a large stockpile of power and monsters of mass destruction to prepare for the long-term game to come after this, but if this is all overcome, then it’s game over for them. For Once, AFO’s plans are actually in danger of failing, so long as the heroes succeed in stopping Maruta from pressing the big, red, ‘wake up’ button. 8) “NOW YOU BETTER RUN TO THAT CONTROL PANEL, YOU KNOW THAT BOY IS YOUR ONLY HOPE OF GETTING OUT OF THIS, AND I REALLY WANT TO SEE SHIGGY FUCKING SHIT UP AGAIN.”- Ok, but consider… there’s a lot of heroes and familiar faces in the potential damage radius here, not to mention students from 1A within a 10-mile radius. Are we really ready to say goodbye to these people we’ve all gotten so attached to? 9) “OH HO HO, YOU BETTER GO FAST, THERE`S A BUNNY ON HER WAY AND YOU KNOW HOW VICIOUS BUNNIES CAN BE AFTER

DON`T WORRY IF YOU DON`T, YOU`RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT”- So, pertaining to the Jujutsu Kaisen comparison, I see this as an unfortunate consequence of realism being involved. In said comic, brutal and dark and merciless though it may be, the niceness and kindness of the main heroes is never called out as being an inherently bad thing, just something that they can’t afford as a distraction or hang-up in their line of work, lest more innocent lives get lost in the crossfire. The characters feel sad towards the people they couldn’t save, they’re allowed to grieve for them and lament the ‘what-if’ of the situation that could have enabled their survival, which befits the somewhat grim mood of the manga. In BNHA, idealistic as it is, heroes are still, at the end of the day, people. It’s never really outlined how many heroes are aware that the Nomu were once living human being like them, or if there’s a possibility that they could be ‘saved’ from their current fates, like Aizawa and Mic are clearly intending to achieve for Kurogiri, hence their intense focus on capturing Maruta so he can spill his guts over everything he did to their friend in case there’s a possibility for a cure or a reversal from their current status. But to the vast majority, they only know of the Nomu by their public reputation, by the mass acts of carnage and destruction they’ve caused in the streets and cities at the behest of the league. They can’t see the humanity hidden behind the monsters, they can only see the organic beasts straight out of a Resident Evil game, monsters who will kill them and then go on to kill innocent civilians if they don’t act decisively first. The Nomu won’t hesitate to do whatever they’re told, and given Maruta launched a massive whale-like behemoth straight through the basement to blindside the heroes he’s clearly uncaring of collateral damage, which will only benefit him in his escape if the heroes are forced to detour to protect civilians, so the swiftest way to achieve their objectives of both ‘protecting and capturing’ is simply to take the kill shot before the monsters have the chance to do too much damage, rather than pulling their punches and blowing their slim window of opportunity now that Maruta outplayed them at the last move. Ideally, heroes should be capable and strong enough to save the lives of everybody who’s in danger, but only All Might had the immense might and the skills with it to actually pull that off- everybody else is just a comparatively weaker ‘mortal’ to his ‘demigod’, and thus they don’t have the luxury of playing nice and holding back so as not to hurt others by accident. Even Knuckleduster, who’s no longer a hero, had to try resorting to lethal force in order to compensate for his lack of power in a fight against a stronger opponent. And that’s not getting into the fact that some of these poor Nomu are likely so far gone than not only is death a merciful release, even if their bodies were restored to human form, their minds would be mush from all the trauma and remodelling Maruta did to them, being little more than breathing bodies. That whale-Nomu had what looked like two brains on it, meaning it’s actually formed from two people frankensteined together into one monstrosity, and that’s not something you could conceivably undo even with years of physical and mental recovery. None of the 1A kids would be on board with this course of events, but on the other hand, the grim reality of being a hero is that you have to be willing to risk the life of your opponents against the lives you’re tyring to save from their actions, and sometimes it’s not possible to save both of them and you have to make a tough call. Right now, they might have the labels of ‘heroes’ and ‘villains’ on both sides, but each person fighting is really nothing more than a solider on the battlefield, and showing mercy to your opponent will not only get you killed, it’ll endanger those you could have protected. Granted, I think some of the heroes will show mercy if they’re capable of subduing their opponents, but if not, they don’t really have much other choice but to put them down. Even going through them like a scythe through wheat, Miruko was barely able to break down the door and cut Maruta off from his escape route- if she’d hesitated even a little, Maruta would have slipped through the heroes’ grasp, so the only way to beat a heartless enemy is to make bold moves that are equally dispassionate and prioritise results over ethics for now. The stakes being as high as they are, the option of playing nice is off the table from the start.

10) “SHE FUCKING KILLED JOHNNY WHAT THE FUCK DUDE WHAT DID HE DONE TO YOU HE WAS JUST A LITTLE NOMU”- Johnny is a prime example of what I mean when I saw that the heroes have to ‘make the hard calls’ this time around. Sure, Miruko didn’t actually know he was there and his death was partially an accident, but his power would have allowed Maruta and Tomura to safely retreat and retaliate once Tomura’s modifications were finally finished, and he’s an unthinking biological monster reprogrammed to obey Maruta’s every command no matter what, so the option of convincing him doesn’t exist. Even if the heroes were inclined to see him as a once-human being, killing him is simply the only way to decisively prevent Maruta using his powers to achieve his victory condition, so putting him down was simply the best option they had. It wasn’t the only one, and it was quite a cold-hearted outlook, but it was effective.

11) “Anyway, things are gonna heat up now, won`t they? They got to the doc, the real one, and more than that, they got to Shigaraki, still far from the time to wake up, they got rid of the doc`s escape route, and there`s a fuckton of nomus around, and by the looks of it even some high-ends. Things are about to get exciting, oh my brain trembles just thinking about it!”- The good news about capturing the evil genius inside his secret hideaway is that he has no more long-term surprises to play and his back’s truly up against the wall. The bad news is that he also has no reason to hold back on any of his stored weapons and monsters anymore, so long as they buy him enough time in the end. @thelreads

#bnha #thelreads #chapter replies #my hero academia #mha260

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nikatyler · 4 years ago

Photo

Axel: “Dude, you got a haircut for this! Now I feel unprepared. Should I quickly call a hairdresser before the interview starts?”

August: “Or maybe, what do you think, you could let your future partner have a say in that. After all, that’s why we’re here, right?”

Axel: “Yes! I’m sick of being forever alone. And why’s that even a thing? Just because I’m a ‘spare’, I can’t fall in love? That’s bullshit.”

Nika: “You guys know I was saving you for this very moment, right?”

August: “Shit, the watcher’s here already.”

Nika: “Yup, I’ve been sitting here this whole time. Anyway, we’ve agreed that we wouldn’t show your faces just yet, but the contestants deserve to know at least a little bit about you, don’t they?”

Axel: “Yeah, definitely.”

Nika: “So let’s begin. Who would like to introduce himself first?”

Axel: “Okay, I’ll start, since I’m the older twin. The expected one.”

August: “All things considered, neither of us was expected.”

Axel: “Fair point. So, my name is Axel, I come from Sunset Valley and I’m a doctor. Oh, and since the audience probably doesn’t know this yet: August and me are the two younger gen 2 siblings in watcher’s new lepacy. Then there’s also Morrigan, but she gets left behind completely.”

Nika: “Okay, fair, call me out for that, I do keep forgetting about her. Anyway, what about your hobbies?”

Axel: “Well, when we first went to Champs Les Sims with our older brother, I really got into wine---I mean, nectar making. I’ve been making wine, I mean, nectar, for years now, and I think I got really good at it. I also enjoy martial arts and meditation. I learned that in Shang Simla.”

August: “We both really love travelling. I’m glad our brother is still taking us with him.”

Axel: “Yeah, Ember is the best.”

Nika: “So what about you, August?”

August: “I work at the science facility in Sunset Valley, but I wouldn’t really call myself a scientist yet. Maybe someday, but I’m not there yet.”

Axel: “Don’t be so humble, you’re doing amazing.”

August: “Thanks. In my free time, I like to be outside. I go fishing often and I also spend a lot of time taking photos.”

Nika: “What do you like to take pictures of?”

Axel: “Toilets.”

August: “Hey, that was just one time!”

Axel: “Yes, and that stupid picture is still in my wine room.”

August: “So? It’s art. But usually, I take pictures of architecture. Interesting places in Sunset Valley, nature and such. I haven’t had the chance to walk around Riverview yet, but I’d like to add it to my collection as well.”

Nika: “Awesome! I’m sure you’ll get a chance. Now tell me something about your brother.”

August: “About Ember? He’s not here.”

Axel: “I think they meant it more like I talk about you and you talk about me.”

August: “Oh. Yeah that makes sense. Well, Axel is a great guy, I think. He’s a bit stubborn though, and his biggest fear is that he’ll die alone.”

Axel: “I would protest but you’re actually right, I’m scared of that.”

August: “I’m surprised he’s still single though. It’s not so surprising with me, but --”

Axel: “You’re being humble again, dammit. And it’s not like the dating options in Sunset Valley are great, right? People my age were mean to us in middle school and they’re still mean to us.”

Nika: “Really? Why?”

Axel: “Eh, you know. Don’t act like you don’t.”

August: “Daddy issues, sort of.”

Axel: “Yup. We’ll leave it at that. The audience will figure it out eventually.”

Nika: “Well, I’m sure the contestants won’t have a problem with that. Speaking of them: What are your expectations? Who do you want to see enter your bachelor challenge? Girls, boys...anyone? What do you want them to be like?”

August: “I don’t think I have any preferences.”

Axel: “Same. I mean, I’ve had some one night stands, they were mostly guys, but I like girls too. I haven’t had a chance to, you know, be with an enby, but they can obviously enter too. Like August said, no preferences, not really.”

August: “And moving on from that, I don’t even have a type when it comes to what you look like.”

Axel: “The real beauty shines from within anyway, right?”

August: “Yup. And it looks different on anyone. It’s like, fairy lights are beautiful. Flowers are beautiful too. And they don’t look alike.”

Axel: “Dude, that was great. How comes you’re still single?”

August: “Maybe I was saving myself for a BC. I’ve always wanted to have one!”

Axel: ...

Axel: “Oh. Well now everything makes sense. And you were afraid to do it alone, so you asked me to join you. I love that! By the way, I think we skipped over the part where I would talk about him.”

August: “You’ve already said a lot about me.”

Nika: “No, he’s right. Axel, would you like to say something else?”

Axel: “Yes! Uh...wait, I lost it right now. What was it...oh yeah. August is like...a god when it comes to eyeliner. Just not when he’s doing it on himself. And he always makes a fool of himself when we’re travelling, but he’s still the best.”

Nika: “That was an important addition.”

August: “Absolutely. He’s still mad at me about the toilet photo, can you tell?”

Axel: “Because it’s the ugliest photo ever! Why do you even need to take a photo of a toilet?”

August: “You wouldn’t get it, it’s art!”

Nika: “Alright, alright, before you start fighting, one more very important question.”

Axel: “We get along, I swear. Anyway, what’s your question?”

Nika: “Twelve contestants - if everything goes according to plan - will enter this house. They will try to impress both of you.”

Axel: “Or they’ll come in and decide ‘oh, I want that one’ and focus on that for the rest of the competition while completely ignoring the other brother.”

Nika: “Yes, that’s possible, but what I mean is that they could end up with either of you, only time will tell. It’s not like six people will enter for you, Axel, and six for you, August. What if you both fall madly in love with one contestant?”

August: “That’s an interesting question.”

Axel: “Old-fashioned sword fight.”

August: “What?! You’d stab me?! I’m literally your twinbrother!”

Axel: “I’m not saying I’d stab you, watcher could interfere. No, jokes aside, I think we’ll figure it out when it happens. If it happens.”

August: “Or we let the person decide who they want more.”

Nika: “I think that could work, but what if they’re not sure either?”

Axel: “You’re stressing me out with that question.”

August: “It’ll be fine, I’m sure.”

Nika: “You’ll figure it out.”

Axel: “Yes. As I said before.”

Nika: “Good! I think you can take it from here.”

August: “Yeah, we’ll do just fine on our own, but thanks for talking with us.”

Axel: “When can we expect the contestants to come?”

Nika: “Soon. The applications will be opened in a short moment, so don’t walk away just yet, or you might miss it.”

#ts3 #sims 3 #sims 3 bc #sims 3 bachelor challenge #axel and august's double bc 00 #axel fleur #(the one with the longer hair)#august fleur #(the one with the shorter hair)#simself #i think it's obvious from the post but please!! don't ask me for spots yet! they will open eventually!#(also how tf is my simself looking so pretty today)

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ledbiantastic · 4 years ago

Text

Okay, it's time for my Harrow The Ninth read through post. Spoilers, obviously. Thanks to @shakespearerants, @irascibubble, and @mayasaura for encouraging me to keep going. Enjoy!

I am on page 33 of Harrow the Ninth and I am making a prediction. I initially thought the Body referred to the dead girl in the locked tomb, but now I think it's Gideon. We'll see if I'm right.

Page 44 says it is the dead girl in the tomb, but I'm not convinced it isn't also Gideon

Gideon must be important to have to be erased from Harrow's mind like that, right?

Did Ortus the First kill/try to kill Gideon's mom? The timeline adds up, they said he messed something up nineteen years ago, Gideon was 18 in the last book and time has passed

In the weird retconned memories, after every death, or during, someone says "is this how it happens" which makes me think it's, like, Harrow's brain asking that

Who are those notes from and to? What's up with that?

I love seeing Harrow spend time with Magnus and Abigail. I liked them

If Harrow is haunted, but this is not the real version of the past, is her mind creating the ghost? Is it Gideon? I don't think Gideon would write notes like that though...

Page 291 is Ortus talking to her like she's Gideon's mother? IS HE ASKING WHY SHE BROUGHT ALONG THE BABY?

Is Ortus' cavalier more active or something? Like he doesn't remember because she takes control?

Page 315 "he had seen me" who is he and who is me? Who is narrating this to Harrowhark? Is. It. Gideon? (Later I decide it's Palamedes seeing the Sleeper, who is also narrating and is possibly Gideon. We'll see if that's right.)

Is the poster on page 318 Gideon? Is It? IS IT? But Gideon's hair didn't go down to her shoulders. Is it her mom?

Are Camilla and Coronabeth on the side of the rebellion? BOE? Is old Harrow? I KNEW IT! But I'm sad they're on different sides.

Is Ianthe the spy? Is that how she knew Coronabeth was alive?

Does the Sleeper represent the part of Harrow and/or her brain that erased her memories and it's cleaning up the debris in her psyche? OR IS IT GIDEON? AKA the DORMANT part of Harrow-as-Lyctor? When the Sleeper is unmasked, will we see Harrow or Gideon?

Did Gideon's mother start the rebellion or something? Is that why they had a poster of her? Was she Eden?

So, Canaan house was on earth then?

Did Harrow (old Harrow) tamper with her own temporal lobe? Did Mercymorn? Ianthe?

Whose idea was it for Ortus to kill her then? John? Augustine? Mercymorn? Someone else?

Did Harrow break into the locked tomb? I want to believe she did, because I support her. But if not, who is the Body?

Shit, I can't remember what color Gideon's eyes were. Page 363 when Harrow's eyes are two different colors, black and gold

Ianthe wants to marry Harrow? Weird. I don't ship it. But I'm kind of stuck on Gideon and if I wasn't, maybe.

See a man about a queen? What does it mean? What is Ianthe doing? Also love that she cursed Harrow's hair to grow extra, just to be petty.

I'm so confused by chapter 40. What the hell is going on? Why is Harrow trying to be a cavalier? The fuck? Role swapped false memory? What is even happening?

Is Harrowhark's brain just, like, randomly spit-balling while she's dying or something? Love that Abigail and Magnus seem to be aware that it's not real.

OH OH OH THAT WAS GIDEON! SERVING THE COFFEE AND MAKING HARROW BLUSH IN THE THIRD(?) FALSE MEMORY OR DREAM OR WHATEVER! I love that Abigail is NOT having this, like, no I'm not gonna watch your romance novel version unfold.

I think I've noticed that the ones who have speaking roles the weird memories are the ones who died in the last book.

Are they all taking active part in these false scenarios? All the dead from Canaan house?

Oh my god oh my god here it is she remembers and she's so sad!

So she erased Gideon to save her soul. Nope nope nope nope nope I can't. I can't deal with these feelings. Y.Y

Who the fuck is the angry spirit?!?!

Who fucking stabbed her?

IS GIDEON DRIVING HARROW'S FUCKING BODY AROUND DURING A FIGHT? HELL YES! AND THAT MEANS I WAS RIGHT THAT SHE'S NARRATING!

OH AND I PREDICT THE GHOST IS CYTHERIA!

I'm still thinking about what Harrow did. It's so sweet and so sad and she's so lonely and she didn't even know how lonely she was.

Also I'm already excited to reread this series.

Oh yeah, this is GIDEON in here, swearing up a storm and trying to use a sword.

Okay, first I'm getting emotional just from heading Gideon's voice, then I'm emotional about what it was like for her to be in Harrow's body/mind, then I'm emotional about all the things she wanted to say but didn't have time, AND THEN I'M EMOTIONAL when Gideon says why she thinks Harrow did it and I'm like baby nooooooo it was because she loved you, not because she didn't want to rely on you! Honey, baby, no!

"Harrowhark, I gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it." HARROWHARK, I GAVE YOU MY WHOLE LIFE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT IT. 💔💔💔😟😟😟😭😭😭 Excuse me while my heart breaks.

Oh, also a bigger issue in this book is the whole concept of the afterlife? And it's messed up because of the emperor? I don't know why I wasn't prepared for that but I wasn't.

Ortus holding Harrow and pointing out that she and Gideon were neglected children is making my therapist soul ascend.

I'm such an idiot. His name wasn't Ortus, it was Gideon. He did kill Gideon's mother, that's why she shouted his name. Or they were in love? One or the other... Or both?

Harrow did a find and replace in her brain and it had unexpected consequences.

I've been leaning more and more towards the Sleeper and ghost being Cytheria.

Oh my sweet sword lesbian himbo, how I've missed you. "The sword I had to hold overhead in one hand as I used the other to keep everything inside you; stuff was coming out, Harrow, I don't know precisely what stuff because I'm not a goddamn necromancer."

Gideon is OCCUPYING HARROW'S BODY during a deadly invasion and is like, 'I'm gonna shut my eyes to reach under the shirt and get rid of encumbrances. I tried not to touch you, so don't get mad.' I feel like Harrow would be the first one to say 'do whatever you have to do to stay alive, you imbecile!'

So Mercymorn stabbed Harrow... So the heralds would eat her as a way to buy time? Was that the plan? Gideon calling her "my necromancer" made my heart do a thing.

I want to understand what she's saying about Gideon's mother. Was Gideon a science experiment? Like Kipo?

Where. THE FUCK did Cytheria get the gun?

Dulcie is *horny for revenge* Abigail is a BAMF and my new (and final?) prediction is that the Sleeper is Gideon's mom.

Gideon and Ianthe is a fun dynamic. I love how protective Gideon is, that she's mad at Ianthe for hurting Harrow's heart.

Gideon must have her mother's eyes to be freaking all the lyctors the fuck out.

"I wanted you to use me... I wanted you to live and not die... Harrow. I already gave my flesh to you, and I already gave you my end. I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I'd do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me." Why am I crying? 😭😭😭😭😭 Why is this the most romantic thing when it's also full of insults and curses and is followed by a your mom joke? What a Gideon thing to do, be so romantic and gross and sassy all at once. I love her, I want to be her. Gideon forever.

Love that Ianthe also thinks Harrow got rid of Gideon because she didn't want her. /s I'm starting to worry that it's silly for me to hold onto the 'because she can't live without Gideon' explanation.'

"But Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I'd had your full attention." That's why indifference is the opposite of love, hate is still passionate attention. But this also makes me feel so bad for Gideon because she deserves to be loved, dammit!

Okay, "gall on gall" is pretty hilarious. Good job Ianthe.

Love that the ghost of Matthias Nonius speaks in meter because he's been so deified by the Ninth house, and he's confused by it. It's like people in a musical being aware they're in a musical, like, why am I singing?

Ortus' poem was important after all!

Is it the sword? Does Harrow have to destroy Gideon's sword? Because that would break my heart a little.

"It bewildered her, back at Canaan House, how the whole of her always seemed to come back to Gideon. For one brief and beautiful space of time, she has welcomed it: that microcosm of eternity between forgiveness and the slow uncomprehending agony of the fall. Gideon rolling up her shirt sleeves. Gideon dappled in shadow, breaking promises. One idiot with a sword and an asymmetrical smile had proved to be Harrow's end." I just... This is so beautifully written. And describing Gideon as one idiot with a sword is so perfect and right and I just... 🖤🖤🖤😭😭😭

No no no I hate this either/or bullshit! I know I'm a sappy optimist, but I want both of them to survive, damnit! I want Harrow to be able to go back to her body without losing Gideon's soul. I want Gideon to keep existing.

What does Dulcinea know?!?!

Commander? That's Gideon's mom, right? Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back to Reality Oops There Goes Gravity

What does that all mean? Are those Eminem lyrics? What other language is in there?

WHAT'S ALL COME OUT?

I knew she was in the sword.

Oh my god, if you need John to get in the tomb, and she was trying to get in the tomb and had something, a tool... Samples... She was armed with the baby... Is Gideon's father John? Is Gideon the fucking child of God?

She named the baby Bomb... This whole series could have been Bomb the Ninth... Bomb Nav...

Yep yep called it, child of God. The first time they put that plan in action was to get sperm to make Gideon. The second time was so Harrow could kill the first Gideon.

A dad joke?! A DAD JOKE?!

Gideon and Harrow were so cruel to each other as kids. It just makes me so sad.

Was Harrow able to get into the tomb because she made Gideon bleed?

So is Alecto John's cavalier? Annabel and Alecto... Are the same person? I'm so confused. She's the body in the locked tomb? But how is that related to her eyes being in his genes?

Wait, the eyes switched? I continue to be confused. Did he do the lyctor thing but also put a part of both him and his cavalier into the cavalier's body? But she was never human? What's going on? Why do they think she never had genes?

Oh cool, Mercy killed God and now everyone's gonna die... ... ... Ooooor not.

I love that beating up Harrow is Gideon's job AND saving Harrow is Gideon's job. Very cute.

Sooooo Gideon the OG and Pyrrha both fucked Gideon's mom... With the same body...

Gideon, such a romantic, wishing she had Harrow's name on her lips as she died. "I mean, yeah, I was thinking about you too; if I could've turned that off I would've turned it off years ago" HAHAHAHAHA You can't stop thinking about Harrow even if you want to! God, what a sweet himbo.

"Yes, well, jail for mother" says Gideon... Is she referencing Miette? Jail for mother for one thousand years!

Okay, so we have definitely confirmed that the Body is Alecto/Annabel/God's cavalier.

What did Dulcinea tell her? That Gideon is moving her body around? Doesn't she know that? Shouldn't that not be a surprise?

Okay, so, wait, what happened to Harrowhark?

ARRRRRGH I'm not smart enough for this book! Or I'm not visual enough! I know I should recognize the description of bobbed hair and "lambent" eyes but I have no idea who it is and also WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO GIDEON AND HARROWHARK?! UGH NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT BOOK AND I'M GONNA BE SO IMPATIENT AND CONFUSED!

Well that was fun to reread. Impressed I got some things right, but mostly I was very wrong.

#harrow the ninth #spoilers #locked tomb spoilers #locked tomb trilogy #doing my best #lesbians are just so good #disaster lesbian #it's me i'm the disaster lesbian here #i love this himbo #himbo gideon nav #live blogging #abigail pent #dulcinea septimus #ianthe the first #long post

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guqin-and-flute · 4 years ago

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the real question is - in the 3zun Raise A-Fu AU which of that generation's dads has the worst dad jokes? or do they all just have different flavours of dad humour? I feel like Mingjue has the most classic Dad Vibe(TM), but if Zixuan has more kids on the way then surely at some point he will succumb to dad-isms...

Holy SHIT YES--

(Now, now these are vibes and not necessarily 100% accurate to the universe)

Nie Mingjue Dad Vibes™ -- ‘Are ya winnin’, son?’, [glowering intimidatingly at your romantic partners when they first meet], Most likely to accidentally break something while playing, s h o u l d e r r i d e s, will not stop cracking his knuckles, most likely to stub his toe and yell ‘GOOOD DAMMIT’, fucking loves grilling shit, most likely to turn into a mischievous Bad Ideas Man when tipsy, will try to cook something experimental and get the family to eat it while eagerly insisting ‘it’s good!’, big hands, always smells like he was just tending a fire and doing yard work but in the good way that smells like grass and sunshine and woodsmoke, misuses memes to make you squirm, most likely to suggest that he goes to ‘talk to’ your bully, LOUDEST fucking laugh, banned from helping with homework--gets too frustrated

Lan Xichen Dad Vibes™ -- [puts on glasses to look at thing you handed him], ‘hello, ___, I’m dad’ when you’re is whining about something, ‘Oh, well if your friend is having trouble, they can just come stay with us!’, most likely to laugh at his own jokes, The Peacekeeper, ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed’, gets very enthusiastic about his hobbies, The Snuggliest Dad, gets excited when your friends come over, will let you sit on his lap to see what he’s doing, Giggly Drunk Dad, will immediately let you sleep in his bed if you have a bad dream, Sweater Vests and Glasses Chain Gang™, 'you should know better :(’, puns accompanied with wide eyed innocent look of barely contained laughter when he’s glared at, all the other parents have a crush on him regardless or gender or sexual orientation, teaches you math and never gets mad

Jin Guangyao Dad Vibes™ -- Usually living a Fun Dad Life but when he is mad it is terrifying, most likely to embarrass you in front of your new friends by telling a story about when you were young and adorable and probably doing something stupid, In front of the kids: jeez-o-Pete In Front of his partners: Son of a bitch, Dad alone at the party holding beer he never drinks while he vaguely and benignly interacting with the kids as the other dads stare. They are confused. Does he think he’s too good for them?? (yes), the best at playing pretend, ‘well I guess we don’t need dessert, then :) ‘, most likely to Full Name You, squints at memes and just shakes his head, complains about your homework because they’re teaching you the Wrong Way

Jin Zixuan Dad Vibes™ -- Gets really into woodworking there for a while??, ‘Go ask your mother’, initially really self conscious about being seen being cutesy in public but turns into a baby talking, crying-about-the-flowers-in-his-daughter’s-hair, ‘yes we are princesses and this is a tea party, do you have a problem?” Dad about 6 months in, is so awkward around your friends--he tries he really really does. what do kids like nowadays? Pogs?, slightly grudgingly lets you braid his hair. might bring it up again sometime. not that he wants you to or anything you just probably need the practice, most likely to be horrified at the behavior of people in prank videos, puppet shows for life lessons, Does NOT Get Memes Will Not Get Memes, 10,000 pictures of his phone of his kids and half of them are blurry and he never deletes any of them, ‘Take Your Kids to Work Day Is Important’, is so confused by your homework--did we learn this? we never learned this. honey what the hell does this mean?

Lan Wangji Dad Vibes™ -- all your friends are scared of him, just has to say your name calmly to make you cut that shit out, Eyebrow Raise, ‘it’s the dollar store. how good can it be?’, never has to give you a lecture--you already know what you’ve done, ‘your child punched someone!’ ‘did they deserve it?’, all the other parents at the science fair get very flustered by him, ‘dad can I do this?’ ‘*shrug* sure, I trust you.’, catches you breaking the rules and shakes his head--do better next time. what were you thinking? socks are much sneakier, sits in silence at your extra curricular activities but paid attention the whole time, crosswords, ‘Isn’t my baby cute?’ ‘....sure.’, hates parent teacher conferences, does not have a lot of time for kids not blood related to him, weirdly competent? at everything?, grimaces at your homework. says you should go in early and ask the teacher

#3zuns raise jingyi au #this was SO FUN #my stuff #ask #nmj #lxc #lwj #jgy #jzx #Anonymous #long post #alcohol mention

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the-acid-pear · 3 years ago

Text

Scarface was too fucking boring, didn't make it past chapter 3, but that's good, because that means Baki-Dou time 😍

Time to read the fourth book in this series! Excited to see Musashi <3

Chapter 1

COLORS

Baki please stop flexing

A FELLA SAYING THE SAME I SAID WHEN YUJIRO PULLED HIS SOB STORY, FR GO TRY SOMETHING ELSE! What happened with that whole "i don't care about fighting" eh Baki?!

Chapter 2

HOHO ALI JR???

ah no :/

HOLY FUCK is this quality bad!

He wants to taste defeat i see

TOKUGAWA PLEASE STOP SMOKING

Oh they removed the... Egg in the back of the neck, nice

God this guy's tits so fat 🥵

FINALLYYY HOW LONG SINCE WE SAW A FIGHT IN THE ARENA? A PROPER FIGHT I MEAN

Chapter 3

He doesn't even know 🐍

DON'T BRING THAT FELLA HERE RETSU KICKED HIS ASS IN TIME. RECORD

Oh i saw fanart of this scene

Baki, it's your fault that you are bored, you fucking teen

This shit boring ME

Chapter 4

Oh, goroukou is a title

I like how the prime minister is becoming a recurrent character

I thought he said babe for a sec-

That little "oh~" is a bit sus, are the old men... No, it can't be 😳😳😳

I'm fucking choking fuck

GOD ALMOST READ THAT AS JOHN CENA 😭

"yes <3"

These ppl never learn

Chapter 5

What a way to go, a la gamzee /j

This dude so weird lmao

FAHDGAHDH king

Dude he has huge round eyes tf you talking bout?

IGDUFSUEASEUURSS he's such a freakkk 😭😭😭

This is the most wtf thing Baki has pulled, remember when this was about fighters fighting? I don't know enough about science for this shit either man

Okay so their hug wasn't Tokugawa being touchy like he is, this guy is even worse, se juntaron el hambre y las ganas de comer HSHAFSFG

Chapter 6

Baki's dead

Katsumi about to kill get killed by my grandpa i see

ALSO KATSUMI OG HAIR WOOO

Katsumi bro don't be so happy over nearly killing him-

I love seeing him get better tho

Uwaadgsgsjdga 😍😳🤤 twisting my hair irl,,, 🥴

Finally Motobe remembered he was a character here 😐

FSGSHDAHDA KOSHO PLS

I LOVE that they got dark lips again

IM SORRY GOUKI HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYONE?! LTDKFsjyrd 😭

Jack's scar looks cool ngl

Retsu living the good life lmao

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW, GRANDPA?

Hana just doesn't care, smartest Baki character lmao

Idk what they talking bout but good for em <3

Cum basement

Chapter 7

SHOW US MUSASHI'S COCK

Obsessed he thought his heart was failing 😭

Dude you can just hear the heart beat of your friends/opponents just like that? 🤨

Notice Gaia in the top left 🥴

WHY CAN HE RECOGNIZE EACH OF THEIR HEARTBEATS AAHSGA

Thick 🥵

Unironically built different

Chronic back pain if you ask me, that's how I stand to relieve my agony

Did. Did you just call him a femb-

STOP SHOWING ME PANELS FROM VAGAMOND

I love John sm lmao

Mr Musashi has 2 (3?) dads

Chapter 8

HAIRY LEGS 🥴

Those things look like boobs

Bet you would know eh SHAFADB

They jerked off the mummy?

Reminds me of eye surgery

AFjshAFDGAJAHAF

Mf came out the tube ripped af 😭

Chapter 9

Everyone is so feminine lately good ol Kureha fell behind 😭

I like his bandana tho it's cute

OH HE TOO? AND HE'S NOT EVEN THAT STRONG

Fat tits 🥴

Eheojeudkshs 😖😳👉👈

JACK STOP YOU ARE BIG ENOUGH ALREADY

HOLY FUCK

You know like i understand Baki, he is at the highest he can be rn, NO ONE can defeat him, but the rest? Like c'mon y'all just beat each other up or something

Ah, the miracle of birth 😍

Chapter 10

I love how all these two do is hang out together in bars, boybosses

TF IS UP WITH THAT ICE? AHDHS

I love what they have

Hana thinking of getting his 4 limbs broken again i see

WOOO!! Nice cock Mr Musashi 😳

HANAYAMA PLEASE 😐

Chapter 11

I love those freaks

I just now I'm seeing the little scars on his cheeks from the fight with Spec ☺️

I love the fact that Musashi has hair in his legs BUT not his arms like ??? Okay king

Heated scientist moment

HOHO POGGERS 👀

Chapter 12

UTSURAARSDFAFA sibling goals

GIRLBOSS 😍

URAURUSYRSAESGA IN LOVE???

Holy shit she's amazing

Chapter 13

And his ass is very thick too 😳

Those fucking sunglasses, obsessed

Debatable, he got struck by lightning :/

HE WAXES HIS HAIR? OMFG OBSESSED

WHY IS HE WEARING THAT LMAO 😭

Nooo they censored the cock again 😔😔😔

DO IT QWEEN 💅

STOP SAYING SHE'S GONNA FUCK THE CLONE

"I'm exciteddddd" "ok."

Chapter 14

You just hate seeing a girlboss win

She truly is amaizing

Also i just realized spirits have been showing up since the first book so this isn't so crazy lol

MF HOW IS THAT GONNA HELP 😭😭😭

THE LITTLE BUBBLES AND SPARKLES... I BET HE DID 🥺

Chapter 15

WHY ARE HIS TITS SO ROUND AND FAT GODDAMN IT,,, 😳😖

Glad seeing some things never change

He looks so much like Jun

IGSITSURAURZES EPICCC

Someone question if Yujiro knew how too write obsessed,,,

Chapter 16

Goddamn it you got even older in the past 3 or so chapters bro

Mouth to mouth soul transference

OHHH

HIS EYEBROWS FELL HOW IGDUTSITDIYDIGD

Some mf got turned on by this HELP 😭

Chapter 17

I love how Yujiro and Hana are still getting ready to throw hands while this happens lol

Okay yeah that was super disrespectful honestly, guy is having a chat :/

HAHAGSJAHA obsessed

God i thought it was Hana the one grabbing some random lady for a second AFDJSJSSJS

He cute af ngl

POOR GUY MUST BE SO CONFUSED OMFG,,,

Fsr I'm surprised he can talk, like it should be obvious but in all the fanart i saw he never said a word, also, he's so damn respectful 😍

Chapter 18

Idk he was never that clever /hj

Hehehe blood

I love how John can only sit that way

The size of his balls lmao

Coward won't even fight with his dick out smh :/

God he mad cute-

Chapter 19

I MISS THE DEATH ROW FELLAS FUCKKK

Hm i think this random tiny bald man is not Tokugawa but someone that looks awfully similar to him

YEAH NO SHIT I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM, HE MUST BE SO DAMN OVERWHELMED

Apparently there was a cameo, i don't know enough about anime to know or care

Chapter 20

He's tripping balls

Tokugawa should have gone a bit slower with this poor guy, this is like a lot to process at once <:/

Nvm he's doing better than me

Oydirsusefs look at himmm

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND OMFG DIDN'T DOPPO FIGHT THIS GUY?!

SOMEONE ELSE RECOGNIZED HIM HE ISSS

Chapter 21

OHDIRAYEASURRSUURS HE DOESN'T KNOWWW FFS

Musashi be like °_°

LOOK AT THAT SMILE LMAO

He's just chilling, mentally killing this dude

Murder baby

Chapter 21

The way his eyes are drawn is so cool

YRAURSUFSIDTGA

And he jokes too! Wow I'm in love 😍

(nsfw) CAN YOU HANDLE DICK LIKE THAT TOO? 😍

WOW

I TAKE BACK THAT QUESTION

I remember a show where you would bring your own knives and swords and go thru a bunch of test, Musashi should have been one of them

Mf truly is like :]

I love how he didn't buy it

I can't wait for him to fight Yujiro 😍

Chapter 23

He truly is 😌

ATFJAIDQYSF OBSESSED

He was happy this time at least, 5 times he lost already btw

Tokugawa truly in unhateable lmao

Chapter 24

IM SORRY, HIS LEG???

Oh I forgot Musashi does that

JAGSKSGSKSGS HIS FUCKING FACE I CAN'T 😭

I miss when translators would add notes i don't want to google shit myself :/

"I'm hard as rock" /j

Chapter 25

Look how happy he issss

MUSASHI POG MUSASHI POG-

I love how Tokugawa can't believe he got it first try and it's trying to lie now sjdakdyv

This mf is actually making me insane what the actual fuck i don't know what he has but he's gonna make me act up 😳

Mf be shadow boxing too dammit /j

Baki please

Chapter 26

OLD MAN JUST WANTS A PUBLIC TO SEE THIS LMAO

Look at the size of Baki's eyes holy fuck lmao

He's gonna yeet him!

OH NOOOO

FIRST HIS DAD NOW MUSASHI, THIS GUY CANT CATCH A BREAK LMAO

Chapter 27

How little time passed? They have barely moved

Yeah you did it last book too Baki

King shit

Chapter 28

AKSGSKGSJSGS KING

I love how he only now realized

Okay no he has a point

I love how he just calls him boy

Look at that smug face

I trust Musashi but at the same time he, really should be walking around this new world alone. Now, if i were to accompany him... 🥴/j

Baki please

Chapter 29

I love how soft the artstyle suddenly got, like if done big a big brush

Yujiro you just insulted every single anime character in history

Baby Baki's just like "Ok."

I like how Yujiro looks here

AUGHHJF HE'S SO BABY 🥺

HOHO badass

Chapter 30

He died 😔

Idiot hasn't even beat he 0.5 reaction seconds lmao 🤣

HOHOOOOO?!? 👁️👁️

"my curiosity exceed my fear!!" I RESPECT THIS MAN SO MUCH??

Chapter 31

AMAIZING HONESTLY

Fighter to fighter communication

SHIT LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT HAND

He's just gone now LMAO

I honestly don't mind Baki being weak against this, he never fought against a two handed swordman, this is new territory

Chapter 32

Oh his really tripping balls now this is why he shouldn't be alone

NVM HE'S STILL DOING BETTER THAN ME ON A DAILY BASIS, I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN FROM THIS MAN

I just now realized he's barefoot

Nice ass king

The policemen are quite nice

He's very cooperative but i can't blame the cops either

Chapter 33

Yeah no shit that must be so insane

IF YOU HADN'T DROPPED OFF SCHOOL THEN...

That's kinda funny but idk man he's right i think

He's just like :3

I love how he isn't picking up a fight out of malice but rather just instinct like, he can't understand shit that is going on

YOU ARE SO RIGHT BAKI IT ISN'T BORING FOR ME EITHER

Chapter 34

Don't you fucking dare shave him Itagaki

It's funny how it took 2 books and a half for Baki to start being a protagonist

Holy fuck did Baki add height or is Miyamoto that big?

Wow how perfect i ran out of space just now!! Having fun with this book ngl :]

#luly talks #baki liveblog #little gay creature sees famous swordsman from the 1600s and loses their mind #"i want his gender'' they claim #also for a man who was born 2 days ago 400 years in the future he sure understands shit better than me 😭#maybe i too should stop having so much anxiety and just get ready to throw hands at ant moment #like back in the day... ☺️(😞)#anyway point is uhh silly little fun saga <3

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mldrgrl · 5 years ago

Note

prompt: Mulder and Scully being competitive with each other over silly things - Jeopardy? solving the case before the end of an episode of some sort of forensic crime show? how many slices of pizza they can eat? a board game? etc.

Loved this one, Anon, thank you so much. And I was in the mood to whip up something humorous. Went to sleep last night thinking about it.

Half and Half

by: mldrgrl Rating: PG

“I’m dying to get out of this suit,” Scully says. “Give me ten minutes and then we can go through the report?”

“I’ll leave the connecting door unlocked,” Mulder says as they exit their rental car and head to the doors to their rooms. “Come over when you’re done and we’ll order in.”

She sighs in relief as she kicks off her heels at the door. She tosses her blazer to the side, unbuttons her shirt, and loosens her skirt. She clips her hair back, washes her face, and changes into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

File folders under her arm, she taps lightly on the connecting door before she pushes it open. Mulder is sitting at the edge of the bed, tie off and buttons undone at the neck. His shirtsleeves are rolled up and he’s yelling at the TV.

“What is Mork & Mindy!” he yells. “Mork and Mindy, you idiots. Everyone knows ‘nanu nanu.’”

“We were looking for, ‘What is Mork & Mindy?’” Alex Trebeck says.

“Obviously,” Mulder says. “How did you people even get on the show?”

“What are you doing?” Scully asks.

“Playing Jeopardy.”

“TV Catchphrases for $400, Alex.”

“Book ‘em, Danno.”

“What is Hawaii 5-0,” Mulder yells, just as Scully says, “Hawaii 5-0.”

Mulder makes the sound of a buzzer. “You have to answer in the form of a question, Scully, or it doesn’t count.”

“I still knew the answer.”

“You mean, the question.”

“Do you want to debate the semantics of Jeopardy or go over the reports?”

“Sure, sure.”

“Let’s try Shakespeare Who Said it? for $200.”

“Double double, toil and trouble.”

“Who are the witches?” Mulder answers.

“Who are the three witches of Macbeth,” Scully says at the same time.

“Who is Macbeth?” answers the first contestant to ring in.

“Oh, come on,” Scully says. “You can’t be that dumb.”

“Right?”

“Not quite what we’re looking for,” Alex answers. Finally, the second contestant answers correctly.

“Shakespeare Who Said It for $300.”

“I prithee daughter do not make me mad.”

“Baptista, maybe,” Mulder answers. “Who is Baptista?”

“No, who is King Lear?” Scully disagrees.

“Who is King Lear?”

“Who is, King Lear. Act 2, scene 4, referring to Goneril. And that will lead us to our first commercial break. More to come after these words from our sponsors.”

“I should’ve known that one,” Mulder says, scooting over to make room for Scully on the bed. “$600 to $500, I’m winning.”

“How do you figure that?”

“You lost Hawaii 5-0 to incorrect phrasing.”

“You didn’t establish the rules. $600 to $900, I’m winning.”

“I didn’t have to establish anything, those are the inherent rules of Jeopardy. Everybody knows that.”

“Mulder, I’m here to go over these reports,” Scully answers, holding up the file folders that have been tucked under her arm the whole time. She is still standing.

“How about a little wager?”

“On what?”

“Winner orders the pizza of their choice, loser pays.”

“Come on, Mulder.”

“You don’t think you can beat me?”

“No, I know I can beat you. I just want to get this review done so I can go to bed.”

“Scully, it’s 7 o’clock. The review can wait. Unless you’re just chicken.”

“Very mature.”

“Triple dog dare you?”

Scully held her hand out as though to shake Mulder’s. “We start with a clean slate going in from the commercial and we make our own wagers on Double Jeopardy questions.”

“I’ll keep score!” Mulder leaves Scully’s handshake hanging in the breeze and jumps up to grab the complimentary pad of paper and pen on the motel desk, which she snatches from him as soon as he comes back to sit down.

“I’ll keep score,” she says.

“You are the math geek.”

They sit through contestant bios and Alex Trebek’s vaguely sarcastic comments on the tidbits they’ve chosen to share with the audience. When the game starts back up again, there are two answers left in Shakespeare Who Said It? and every answer available in Civil War Nicknames, The Old West, and American Folklore.

Unsurprisingly, Mulder dominates the folklore category, but they tie for two answers. They both struggle with The Old West more than Civil War Nicknames, but the answers there are easier to decipher within the clues. Mulder is up $700 when the first Daily Double comes up in The Old West.

“$200,” Scully says. “I already don’t even want to know the answer.”

“$500,” Mulder answers.

“Suffering from tuberculosis and alcoholism, this dentist turned gunslinger died in a sanitarium at the age of 36.”

“Who is Doc Holliday,” Scully answers.

“Who is Bat Master..dammit!” Mulder replies just a beat behind her.

“You should’ve known that one.”

“It was the first thing that popped into my head. What’s the damage?”

“We’re tied.”

“All right, next round, it’s getting serious.”

“Prepare to pay for a large vegetarian with extra olives.”

“Ugh, vegetables on pizza is the antithesis to the point of pizza.”

“And what is the point of pizza?”

“All the pepperoni you can handle and then add in some sausage for good measure.”

“You’re a heart attack waiting to happen, Mulder. When was the last time you had your cholesterol checked?”

“In May, actually. Fit as a fiddle. Here we go, round 2.”

“...categories are: Before & After, Science, Word Origins, Potpourri, The Body Human, and finally, Astronomy. ”

The contestants seem fixated on Potpourri and Before & After, to Mulder’s relief. He isn’t ready for Scully to completely smoke him in the Science and The Body Human categories. He figures if he can do well enough in the first two, he might be able to hold firm and maybe they might get to Astronomy where he can make a comeback. Sure enough, she responds so quickly in the first two Science answers he can’t even get a word out.

“Born this year, a sheep named this introduced the world to cloning.”

“Dolly!” Mulder yells, too excited about knowing a Science question he forgets to phrase it properly.

“Who is Dolly,” Scully corrects.

“Dammit!”

“Your rules.”

“I know, I know. Still, dammit.”

Blessedly, the contestants leave Science and migrate to Astronomy and since the first answer is the planet nicknamed The Red Planet, a Jeopardy equivalent of low-hanging fruit, they stick with it. The first Daily Double of the 2nd round hits them at the $800 question in Astronomy.

“I’m up by $1,600,” Scully says. “You have $3,900.”

“I’m going to make it a true Daily Double.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“$600,” Scully says, after a few moments hesitation.

Mulder worries his bottom lip with his teeth and waits for the answer to come.

“This spiral galaxy is named for an Ethiopian princess in Greek Mythology.”

“What is Andromeda!” They both yell.

Mulder realizes he’s sweating after the last question and even though it paid off, he vows not to make that kind of gamble again. Scully berates herself for not being more confident in her astronomy knowledge as she now trails Mulder by $1,700, which may or may not be easy to recover from.

Time runs out before all the clues are revealed and the 2nd Daily Double is never found. By final Jeopardy, they’re nearly neck and neck, with Mulder at $9,100 and Scully at $8,500.

“The final category is: Computers.”

“Good thing The Gunmen aren’t here,” Mulder says. “Gimme one of those sheets of paper and we can write our wagers and guesses like the others.”

Scully rips off a piece of paper and they both take nearly all of the commercial break to come up with their wagers. Scully folds her paper in half with the wager face down. Mulder turns his over and places it on the bed.

“And here we go with the final answer. Born in 1815, this daughter of a famous poet published an algorithm for a mechanical calculator and is believed by some to be the first ever computer programmer.”

Mulder writes his answer immediately and Scully taps her pen against her teeth as the final Jeopardy music winds down. She finally picks up her paper and memorializes her guess before the final note.

“Whatcha got?” Mulder asks.

“I want to see their answers first,” Scully replies.

Mulder bounces his knee in anticipation. The contestant in 3rd place answers incorrectly with Dora Wordsworth, but only wagered $1.

“I hate when they do that,” Scully says. “It’s not The Price is Right.”

“Listen, if the category was Nuclear Physics, I might only be waging $1 as well.”

“Too bad it wasn’t.”

The contestant in 2nd place also answers incorrectly with “Who is ____?” and ends up with $4500. Mulder shakes his head.

“At least put something,” he says.

“Seriously,” Scully agrees.

“And now Judith, our three day champion, currently in the lead with $13,800. What did she guess? Who is Ada Lovelace? Daughter of Lord Byron, known for her work on Charles Babbage’s Analytical Engine, August Ada King, Countess of Lovelace, or Ada Lovelace. And how much did Judith wager? $7,000, bringing her three day total to $65,941.”

“Alright, Scully, moment of truth.”

“Count of three?” she asks.

“Is that one, two, reveal? Or one, two, three, reveal?”

“One, two, reveal.”

“Okay. One, two…”

They both turn their papers around. Both answered Who is Ada Lovelace? They both grin.

“Frohike would be so tickled with your familiarity with the mother of computer programming,” Mulder says.

“Yeah? How does he feel about your familiarity with her?”

“Pretty jealous, actually.”

“What was your wager?”

Mulder turns over the paper again to show her. “$3,000. You?”

Scully bites her lip a little and then flips the fold of her paper for Mulder to see. “$8,000.”

“$8,000!”

“Go big or go home, right?”

“Damn, Scully. You’re a monster. In a good way, obviously. But, damn. So, I guess that vegetarian is on me.”

“Extra olives.”

“With extra olives.” He grimaces and gets up to grab the Yellow Pages in the nightstand.

Scully opens up her file folders and begins sorting the reports for review across the end of Mulder’s bed as he searches for a pizza parlor. He’s on the phone fairly quickly after browsing the phone book.

“Yes, I’d like to place an order for delivery,” Mulder says. “A large. Vegetarian.”

“Half vegetarian,” Scully interrupts without looking up. “Half pepperoni and sausage.”

“Sorry, half vegetarian, half pepperoni and sausage. Extra olives on the vegetarian side, please. Yeah, I’ll hold.” Mulder drops the phone to his shoulder while hold music plays and smiles slightly. “Scully, you interested in a rematch tomorrow night?”

“Depends on how interested you are in buying another pizza.”

The End

#i wrote this #xf fanfic #humor #so competitive #Anonymous

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monaownsmyass · 4 years ago

Text

Ignoring Isn’t Bliss

Requested fic by anon. (If you have any fic ideas or requests you'd like me to write, you can leave me an ask!)

Book: Ride-or-Die

Pairing: Mona x MC (Ellie Wheeler)

Genre: Fluff, Humour

Rating: PG13, strong words

Word Count: 1,548

A/N: Mona is ignoring MC and MC isn’t having it. Are you guys tired of seeing me post fics yet? Lmao Anyway, I miss Mona so much, dammit PB gimme my sarcastic asshole of a gf back 😔 it’s been soooo long!

Tag list: @ineedskyecrandall @kamilahsayeet2063 @avalawrencefl @lovekamilahsayeed @thequeenkamilahsayeed @heygmicheelle @djtjsmith14 @jjlover01 @soft-for-drake @dopeyouth @alexroyard @satrinadia @toalltheboysididntlove @mypegasifly (lmk if anyone would like to be included or removed in my next fics and if you only want to be tagged for certain pairings.)

I sighed longingly as I looked at Mona cross her arms in frustration from across the garage. I was staring at her and she was staring at her car, both of us upset.

"What's up with you two?" Toby sidled up beside me. I let out a deep exhale and jumped down from the work bench I was sitting on.

"Mona's ignoring me."

"Why?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Um, I may have accidentally... scratched and maybe dented her car..."

Toby's eyes shot wide open. "Oh no, Ellie."

My hands slid down my face. "I know! But it's not like I did it on purpose! I didn't know her car was that close when I was reversing."

"That bad?"

"Why don't you go ask her," I jerked my chin in her direction.

"No, no, no," he put his hands up in front of him. "Angry Mona is someone I avoid at all cost. I do not want a death wish."

Just then, Ximena walked past carrying a bunch of boxes.

"Hey, X!" Toby stopped her.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Could you do me a favour and ask Mona what's wrong?" Ximena looked at him skeptically. "Please?"

She looked at him one last time before putting down the boxes and walking over to Mona. Mona turned when she saw Ximena approaching and after a while, we saw Mona angrily throw her hands around in exaggerated motions and pointed to her car where the scratch and dent was. She huffed and kicked a nearby crate, crossing her arms once again.

"That does not look good," Toby commented.

"No crap."

Ximena walked back to us and sighed. "She's not happy."

"No crap!"

I sighed and squared my shoulders, ready to head over to Mona when Ximena asked, "What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, but she can't stay mad at me forever."

Toby and Ximena glanced at each other before heading out, obviously not wanting to see the chaos that was about to unfold.

I confidently walked up to her even though I was shitting myself on the inside. I stopped a few steps beside her and called her name.

"Mona."

No answer.

"Mona," I said a little louder.

Still no reaction.

"Mona!" I screamed into her ear.

She didn't even flinch. Instead, she just grabbed her power tools and bent down to fix up the damage.

"Baby, I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean it."

Still ignoring me, she just carried on working on her car. The loud noise from the power tools made it harder to get her attention which was probably what she wanted anyway.

I didn't want that though.

I went closer to her and bent down beside her. I poked her in the arm. Then, I poked harder. After a couple of times, I went to her cheek instead. I poked her soft skin and she lightly swatted my hand away.

Yes! I'm getting somewhere.

She stood up to inspect her handiwork so far from a distance and I moved behind her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and laid my head on her back.

“Monaaaaa,” I whined into her shoulder. “Talk to me.”

She didn’t reply but she didn’t shrug me off either which I took as a good sign.

I let go of her and started walking backwards until my back hit the garage door to get the momentum I was going to need.

"Hey, Mona! Catch!"

That made her look back at me only to find me running at her at full speed. Her eyes widen as she shouted, "No!"

But it was too late. I jumped onto her back, making her stumble a little before steadying herself.

"What the fuck?"

"I had to get your attention somehow."

"Try harder."

She walked to the other side of the garage to retrieve something with me still attached to her like a backpack as if I weighed nothing.

I knew she was strong but this was ridiculous!

I huffed but another idea came to mind. I smirked and twisted my body, trying to move myself so I was clinging onto her front instead of her back. I knew she was still mad at me but that didn't stop her from placing a hand on me while I was shifting so I wouldn't fall.

I hugged her tight and ducked my head down, peppering kisses along her jaw and then up to her ear.

She didn't push me away but she said, "Not now, Ellie. I'm not in the mood."

Ellie? Not even princess or gorgeous? Ouch!

"Mona, I'm sorry, please?"

My lips went to her neck, her weak spot. As I kissed her, I could see goosebumps appear on her arms and heard her breathing start to deepen a little.

However, she was resilient. Mona just walked back to her car as if I wasn't hanging onto her like a monkey and leaving a massive mark on her neck.

I decided to let go off her and try a new tactic instead, puns.

"Hey, Mona, what did the sister chromatid say to the other when it accidentally stepped on it's toe?"

Mona side-eyed me.

"Mitosis!"

That made her snort. "Of course your nerdass would come up with a lame science joke," she muttered more to herself.

I kept telling her more maths and science-based puns and each time, she glared at me harder, looking even more disappointed.

"Okay, okay, one more," I told her. "You know, parallel lines have so much in common."

Mona stopped what she was doing and waited for me to continue.

"It's a shame they'll never meet."

"Jesus Christ," she whispered and massaged her temples, eyes closed. "That's the worst one yet." But I could see her fighting back a smile on her lips.

Wohoo! I'm almost there.

And I knew just what to do to get to home base.

When she was finally done fixing up the car, she stood up again to look at the finished product. I stood between her and her newly fixed car and she raised a brow at me.

"Can you please move?"

I shook my head and lunged at her, hands reaching for her side to tickle her.

"Ellie! No!" she warned sternly but my hands were already on her waist.

No one else knew this but she was extremely ticklish at her sides. I only found out 'cuz we were cuddling one time and I trailed my hand softly down her side which made her jump and push my hand away. Curious, I did it again and she started laughing and that's when I found out her weakness.

I tickled her and she frantically tried to push me off but it was to use, I just kept attacking her.

"Oh my god, Ellie! Stop!" she said, laughing uncontrollably.

God, her laugh was contagious.

I giggled along with her and struggled to keep my hands on her.

"Never!"

She finally caught my wrist and pushed me back onto the hood of her car, pinning me down.

"Don't blame me if your car gets dented again.

She rolled her eyes but grinned. "Fuck, you're annoying."

She started tickling me in retaliation and I tried pushing her away but being much stronger and having me in a vulnerable position, it was a losing battle.

I finally wheezed out, "Okay! Okay! I give up! I surrender!"

She let go and I sat up, still on the hood of her car. Mona placed her hands on either side of my thighs and leaned into me.

"So, not mad at me anymore?" I grinned and looped my arms around her neck.

"Gorgeous," she let out a low chuckle. "I've stopped being mad at you for a while now."

"Wait, what? So why were you ignoring me for so long?" I pouted at her and she gave me a peck on the lips.

"It was cute seeing you try to get my attention." She moved her hands to my waist. "Also it was pretty funny."

"You're so mean!" I swatted her shoulder but she just laughed in reply.

"And you're really irritating."

She pulled me into a kiss and I melted as her soft lips pressed against mine. She gripped onto my hips tighter as I moved a hand to grab onto the back of her neck while the other massaged her scalp.

"Wait," I pulled back. "Why aren't you more mad that I scratched your car."

She nuzzled my neck as she spoke. "Oh, no, I was livid. But my car has been through much worse and there's nothing your amazing girlfriend can't fix."

Mona looked me in the eyes as she gave me that stupid signature cocky smirk of hers that I've come to love. She pulled me back into her and rested her chin on my head while my cheek was pressed against her sternum.

"You're just lucky I love you more than my car," she joked and placed a kiss on top of my head.

"It's 'cuz of those sweet puns isn't it?"

"Hell, if you ever tell me another one, you’re no longer my girlfriend and you'll be living on the streets."

I giggled as she peppered kisses all over my face, delighted to be drowning in her attention and affection again.

(More fics!)

#mona rod #mona x mc #mona #rod #ride or die #rod choices #choices #choices: stories you play #pb #pixelberry #playchoices #rod fanfiction #choices fanfiction #thanks for reading!

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microcos-pod · 4 years ago

Text

Micro-Cosmos S1E7 Transcript: Miraculously Misplaced

(“Hello world. This is Chronicling Log One, of Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion.” CONTENT WARNINGS: yelling, peril, brief claustrophobia, mentions of unreality, paranoia, and the fear of going insane. Transcript begins below break.)

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

ANNOUNCER Futuristic Trail Mix Productions presents Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast.

[THEME MUSIC FADES OUT]

*** [sfx: external storm ambiance echoing through the cave, button press]

FELIX Um... hello world. This...This is Chronicling Log One, of Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion. I am the science officer on duty with Omnitarian Establishment Crew, erm... zero three... no, we're um...

Zero-one-three-seven-F. Yes. It says so right here.

You'll have to forgive me. Ordinarily, when I make these recordings, they're for my own notes, or for my scientific peers. I am not used to simply... documenting the goings-on, especially... my goings-on... when confined to a cave.

According to Athena, this is for a chronicling protocol called a Code Drag. It refers to, if memory serves, a distress situation without a contingency that, at present, makes mission objectives impossible to complete. That is to say, we have been "dragged" off course. There is no contingency plan for a cinderburst. Cal says they're too rare to even warrant such a thing, nor is there enough research to determine how one could occur here. If these storms supposed to be characteristic of desert terrain, however, I would say Ophiuchus is hardly a suitable candidate. Not that I can research such a claim when I have no signal to reach any external databases that could be of help. No, that would be too easy.

Instead of that, what I do is I sit inside of a cave, talking to myself, and try to avoid going... slightly mad. If I wasn't there already, of course. I wonder how Athena manages it.

For the sake of my friend, however, I am sucking it up and beginning with these entries. I've been procrastinating for long enough, so, I will see to it that I make this log faithful to its purpose, and as honest as I can manage. I'll start with a caution, though. This cave is dull, even considering what you would expect from a cave, namely: not much. For that reason, I'm afraid I cannot guarantee you anything riveting, my dear listener. Consider yourself to be warned.

So, I hear you ask me: What have I, Doctor Felix Couvillion, been up to, now that myself and my friends have spent about... oh, a day and a half inside a damp, cavernous lair of darkness? You ask me, 'Felix, what are the Tales from the Tunnels? The Stories from the Stones? The Accounts of'... a, a, um... a cave. The cave, which I'm sure I will have memorised every vein of by the time daylight decides to reappear.

In short, I've been working. Making note of the vegetation in here, and how it might help us. I've found a new variant of fruit-bearing vine, actually. Edible. Similar to a terran gooseberry. It will make for a decent snack, once my trail mix finally runs out. A sad day, that will be. Somehow I don't find this discovery as exciting as I should. The Commander, she tries hard to keep our morale afloat, but... you know. It hasn't been long, and somehow, I already feel as though we are... contained. Stuck in some version of a time capsule, and... preserved until the next moment we are meant for is to resume.

[Felix sighs.]

FELIX (CONT'D) There's no wildlife in here, as of yet. No water either. That makes sense, on paper. The fact of the matter is that carbon-based animal life needs water. Including us. In a worst case scenario, our current water supply wouldn't last us. So, I either solve this problem, or we all slowly die of dehydration, sucking the juice out of vine berries as a last ditch attempt to survive. Yeesh. Not a pretty picture, hm?

Which is why I will make my third trek to scout a potable water source this afternoon. If I'm able to find room in my busy schedule Oh! In between my rounds, though, I have found something to pass the time-He stops again. This is... what a chronicling log is for, yes? Cataloguing however our time is spent inside an unavoidable disaster?

Sure it is. Anyways. I have... wait for it... I have rediscovered my love for card tricks! And I can still manage to do them, too. It's like it never left me, in a way. Like riding a bike for the mind. Or, as Morgan once put it, riding a bike for nerds. Here, I'll show you. ...You can’t see me. Dammit. Well, let's try it like this, then. Were you here, dear listener, you would shuffle the deck. You would pick a card, only in your mind. And then, you'd give the deck back to me, and after a series of convoluted detours through what seems like a magical process, the card would end up in your pocket, a place it certainly shouldn't be. Ta da! Okay, okay, a magician shouldn't reveal his tricks, I know. But I can't contain myself, so I'll give you a tidbit. I forced a card on you, at the start. You thought it was your choice. It wasn't. It was, likely, the Ace of Dishes. Good card. I'm fond of it. It's an interesting thing, that trick. According to the logical part of your brain, the card should be in the deck, with the rest of its friends. It’s family, if you will. Your eyes told you it should be there, and so of course, you're expecting it to be there. Or were you? That card, from the second you or I chose it, when you saw it, and we convinced each other that it was special, or different, the, hm... well, the zeitgeist of the situation told you that by the end of the trick... that card wasn't going to be in it's rightful place. It wasn't going to be like all the others. It was going to be... miraculously misplaced. In reality, the misdirection relies on both expectations. It needs the voice of reason, and the voice of the little child inside your brain that really really really wants magic to be real, just so it can stir a whit of joy. In my experience, though, most things in life that are misplaced from where they belong, it's... not a good situation. Take our example. One looks down at the flowers for a moment, giving the storm just enough time to sneak up and tap him on the shoulder, and... Abracadabra. Misdirected... misplaced from mission objectives. This kind of thing... does not bring much joy, does it? That's my insight, anyways. And that's about as much as I can fill a Chronicling Log with, for now. I'm going to check up with the others. Um, Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion, ending Log One.

[sfx: button click]

***

ATHENA ... That's a dog?

MILES Yeah. It's supposed to be! Like... bark?

ALEX Sorry, I... honestly thought it was supposed to be a sock puppet.

MILES Sock puppets don't have ears!

ATHENA ...An ear?

ALEX That's an ear?

ATHENA I mean I figured it was an animal of some kind, but-

MILES I never claimed to be good at shadow puppets, okay?

C41 Clearly.

MILES Cal, you don't have tangible hands, you don't get an opinion.

C41 At least I know that dogs aren't that long.

[sfx: approaching footsteps]

ALEX Yeah, actually, kinda... looks like that little cat thing that bit Felix.

FELIX It was a spray, not a bite. That makes it sound a lot more gross, actually.

[Alex claps her hands.]

ALEX Nice to see the party's finally here!

FELIX Hm? "Party"? That's new.

ALEX Did you bring the deck of cards?

FELIX Of course.

ALEX Then you're the party.

[Felix laughs.]

ALEX (CONT'D) Where've you been?

FELIX Recording my first chronicling log. I figured an update on my perspective was in order.

ATHENA Oh, good, thank you. How'd it go?

FELIX Um... well, I think. A bit meandering, maybe. Not anything special.

ATHENA Honestly, however they end up going is fine. It's just a matter of getting an account from everyone of how they're doing and what's going on. That's all I really have to do, most of the time. You'd be surprised how useful a ramble is when you have it on file. What did you meander about?

FELIX Oh just... you know. Something that I've been brushing up on. Here, I'll show you, actually.

MILES Sure, just share your talents with the class I guess.

C41 This should be interesting.

[sfx: unboxing and shuffling playing cards]

MILES What is this?

FELIX It's a card trick.

MILES A card trick...

FELIX Correct. Can I have a volunteer?

[Athena, Alex and C41 respond positively.]

FELIX (CONT'D) Miles, thank you, so kind of you to volunteer.

MILES My hand was not up.

FELIX Here, shuffle these.

MILES Ugh. Fine.

[sfx: cards shuffling]

FELIX No, don't give them to me! That's against the rules.

MILES Oookay. I'll keep em.

FELIX You're thinking of a particular one, I can tell.

MILES Uh... sure. Six of stars?

FELIX No, no, that's not it. Come on, this one only works if we convince each other that it's going to work. It was a low card, something... special.

MILES Low, and... special? Like an Ace?

FELIX It was an Ace?

MILES Yeah. Yeah, an Ace.

FELIX But not the Ace of Stars? We've got Planets, Comets, Dishes and Stars, but... How about you pick two of those, Officer Abbott?

MILES Dishes and Stars.

FELIX We'll keep the Dishes and the Stars then, and get rid of the other two. But it wasn't Stars, so the Ace of Dishes, then?

MILES Yeah.

FELIX The Ace of Dishes was the first card that came to mind, you're sure?

MILES Yeah.

FELIX Perfect. Athena, could you pick a number for me? It could be anywhere between, er... one to ten.

ATHENA Seven.

FELIX Seven. Very well. Miles, can I have the deck back?

MILES Oh, that's allowed now?

FELIX Of course, don't be silly. Now, I'm going to pull seven cards off the top of this deck that Miles shuffled and, well... we'll see what happens.

[sfx: cards being drawn from the deck]

FELIX (CONT'D) One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.

Oh... dear, that's not it.

MILES Jack of Comets. Figured it wouldn't-

FELIX Indeed. Wait, Miles, what's that?

MILES What's what?

FELIX In your shirt pocket.

[sfx: an emphatic rustling and card flip.

FELIX This?

MILES The... Ace... of Dishes. Wait.

[Athena applauds.]

[Alex laughs.]

ALEX Hey now, how the hell did you do that?

FELIX Ah, ah. Magicians. Secrets. You know the rules.

ALEX I bet Cal knows.

C41 I have... an idea or two, but I'm not exactly sure, really. Nice job.

FELIX Thank you.

MILES I don't know how you did that. I am going to find out how you did that.

[sfx: lots of movement]

[Indistuguishable frenzied comments from the crew.]

***

[sfx: echoing footsteps, very distant external storm ambiance.]

[sfx: button click.]

FELIX Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion. Recording Chronicling Log... Two, I suppose. Though it hasn't been long.

I had to escape from Miles's endless, somewhat terrifying questions. I fear those will be a common occurrence from this point on.

Anywho. I am currently... well, I don't know exactly where I am. My analog compass says I am southeast of our campsite, which is just outside the entrance to the tunnel system. But, I'm not so sure. You would think this little gadget would be unaffected by the storm, but the cinderbust seems to be acting on all of our other equipment as if it were somehow a geomagnetic storm. This, of course, may mean it is confusing the compass needle as well.

So I'm not sure I can trust in that bearing. What I do know is, I took a left. So at least I have that to go on.

I did promise the Commander that I wouldn't stray too far from the camp when I'm alone. But I'm not alone. I'm on the hunt for a source of water, and I'm taking you, whoever will listen to this, with me for the journey. So technically, I'm keeping my promise, while getting results. Hopefully. Hopefully getting results. It isn't like I have any real reason to be concerned about my safety. Like I had mentioned, there have been no encounters with wildlife as of yet. Then again, I've been wrong before. It would be just my luck to end up being wrong again. But, I survived Mercutio, ergo, I could likely survive anything. The little devil.

[sfx: flashlight clicks on]

FELIX (CONT'D) Let there be light.

Ah. It appears we've reached a choice to make. Hm. Left... or... right. I'd rather not go in a circle. Right it is.

Left, then right. Left, then right. Left then... right. Okay.

So, anyways. I hadn't had any previous luck taking a right initially, where I first chose to go left. My left. Not... upon return- never mind. I know what I mean. I hadn't gone too far that way, in any case.

Only today did I figure out the loophole in my promise, and... in terms of balancing my very busy schedule, I figure that it's best not to spend all my time fretting over dehydration. Going prematurely mad is not in my plans.

There are some interesting mineral formations on the ceiling. It may be worth taking a sample to submit on my way back. They're a sort of bluish-white, and they seem to form in hexagonal clusters, about three to four centimetres in length. Quite pretty. Pretty enough to understand the appeal of geology, if only for a moment. No offence to geologists, of course.

No luminescence is visible from the formations. My torch is the only current source of light. I suppose luminescence would have been too much to hope for. It is... rather dark, this way. Miles wouldn't like it. I don't think Miles likes many things, come to think of it. There's a grumpy individual if you ever did see one. But, a decent traveling companion when the mood strikes them-

[sfx: walking stops]

FELIX (CONT'D) Dead end. Hm. I'll make a mental note.

[sfx: footsteps resume]

FELIX (CONT'D) That's annoying. Back the way we came, then.

It might have done me good to bring Cal along. Most of their functions may be, er, rusty, at present, but they still have the sensors for these sort of things. Or perhaps I should have brought the Commander. Navigations, and all. Eh. I'm still not too far. And I have you, don't I, my trusty comms friend?

Even if you're not one for conversation. The brooding type. Strong and silent. I can work with that. And I can be fairly sure that I'm-

[sfx: footsteps stop suddenly]

FELIX (CONT'D) What?

[A long silence.]

[Felix swallows and chuckles nervously.]

FELIX (CONT'D) Well. I... must not have been paying attention as well as I'd thought.

I've just... I've just come up against another dead end. Where I thought... no, where the entrance to this passage should be. Where... where it just... was.

It can't have just... filled behind me. I would have heard the crash.

Right?

Same tunnel. Same... crystals. Perhaps a bit more on the indigo side that I had originally noticed. No more, or, um, less lacking luminescence.

Alright, er... Perhaps I took a turn and passed it. I'll retrace... my steps. What you're looking for is always in the last place you check, right?

[sfx: footsteps]

[Felix breathes shakily.]

[sfx: sound of distant running water fades in]

FELIX (CONT'D) Do you... do you hear that? That sounds like...

[sfx: the water sound recedes, replaced by storm ambiance]

FELIX (CONT'D) Sounds like... wishful thinking.

No, I could've sworn. I could have sworn. I'm not mad. I'm not.

FELIX (CONT'D) Don't you look at me like that. You're a bundle of wires and metal. You're not capable of going mad, only getting broken.

I... I wonder which is worse.

[sfx: a draft blowing in from the right side]

FELIX (CONT'D) Well. I... hadn't noticed that before. There's an offshoot path here, in between... I suppose in between dead ends. It must... it would have to lead deeper into the cave. I can't... This doesn't make any sense.

[Felix struggles to look inside the narrow path.]

FELIX (CONT'D) I can't make out anything inside. Very dark, but... But there's a draft. Meaning... it must lead outside. No daylight, however.

Well, of course there's no daylight, Felix. Remember why you're here in the first place.

[sfx: the draft stops unnaturally abruptly]

FELIX (CONT'D) Well, that doesn't make any sense, now does it?

The wind from the passage seems to have... turned off. Just... just like that.

I should just go back the way I came. Yes. That's what I should do.

[sfx: the sound of running water resumes]

FELIX (CONT'D) Wait... is... am I hearing that right...?

Not right now, thank you. I could do without the difficult decision.

Fine. Fine! Fine then, I'll just...

[He struggles further to get inside the path, with a few laboured mutterings.]

[Felix pants.]

[sfx: water droplets hitting the ground.]

FELIX (CONT'D) Yahtzee.

[sfx; unscrewing a thermos, letting water drip inside]

FELIX (CONT'D) I'll have to ensure this is potable, first. Or if I can make it potable. I'm sure it will be fine... Either way this is a good sign for our continued survival.

[sfx: extremely loud shifting of rock]

FELIX (CONT'D) What in the... What was that?

I've got enough of this to test but... The only problem is, I don't know that I could find it again. I... almost certainly don't know where I am.

[sfx: another creaking shift of rock]

[Felix gasps and exclaims.]

FELIX (CONT'D) What... I'm sorry, I just... felt a shift there, it startled me.

There's obviously an explanation for this but... I don't think I'm in any state to continue this trip. I need... I need to get back to camp.

[sfx: footsteps resume]

FELIX (CONT'D) Next time, if I ever come back this way, I'm bringing someone with me.

[sfx: running water fades out]

FELIX (CONT'D) Wait, uh... where... but I had just looked through...

I can't see that passage anymore. Where I got the water. Can you?

Of course you can't. I'm talking to myself. I bet no one will ever even listen to these. It isn't as if you care. You let this happen in the first place, sent us somewhere new without contingencies, and I'll bet you still don't feel responsible.

It's there. You can't see it from this angle, but it's there, you just can't see it in the dark.

[sfx: extremely loud stone creaking and moving]

FELIX (CONT'D) I need to go. I need to... I need to leave.

[sfx: running footsteps]

[Felix pants.]

[sfx: footsteps slow and stop]

FELIX (CONT'D) Left or... right? I swear, this doesn't... what was that goddamn sound?!

No. No, you shouldn't hear this. Am I transmitting, or... is this a recording-

[sfx: comms click]

***

[sfx: comms click]

ATHENA -were just looking for you.

FELIX I know, I know, I lost track of time-

ATHENA Alex was worried sick, we thought we heard you yell-

FELIX Well, that's very kind of her, but I-

ATHENA Felix... are you okay? Did something-

FELIX I'm fine.

ATHENA Okay.

Next time, maybe, take one of us with you. Or at least tell us when you'll be back.

FELIX Sure, sure. In any case, it was a success.

[sfx: unscrewing a thermos]

FELIX (CONT'D) Water. Fresh. Hopefully potable.

ATHENA That's great! That's a relief. Okay. Where did you find it?

FELIX Oh. Heh. Funny you should ask, actually.

ATHENA Oh?

FELIX Yes, I... see I was fine, but along the way I got a little... lost, it wasn't anything to be concerned about, but... I may have a little trouble finding it again.

ATHENA Oh.

FELIX Ah, but, don't worry.

I kept the recorder running.

ATHENA Uh... well, that's good. It definitely makes my job a lot easier.

FELIX Well, yes, and I... wasn't alone.

ATHENA Right.

FELIX And! And, perhaps if I give this a listen, it would help me figure where I got turned around. Nothing a second journey won't fix.

ATHENA Not alone this time.

FELIX Not alone the first time because I personified my comms but... yes I see your point.

ATHENA Well, let's give it a listen, then.

FELIX Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

[sfx: button pressing]

FELIX (CONT'D) It should be my most recent... input, let's see here. Ah. There.

[sfx: button press]

RECORDING FELIX Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion. Recording Chronicling Log... Two, I suppose. Though it hasn't been long.

[sfx: a sudden click, lasting static]

ATHENA Um, Felix?

FELIX ...Yes?

ATHENA Was that the end of the recording?

FELIX No. Definitely not.

ATHENA Then why... did you stop talking?

FELIX I didn't stop talking, I kept it running the whole time, I only turned it off just before I saw you!

ATHENA Something must have happened, then. Can I see it?

FELIX Sure, sure.

ATHENA It doesn't look like a corrupted file, in fact, everything seems to be working fine. Out here, at least.

Maybe the storm messed with your comms too, somehow. Or maybe... maybe there's some good conductors in the stone too, deeper in the cave, that could have thrown off your signal, or...

FELIX Or it could have been my own fault.

ATHENA It happens to the best of us, Felix.

FELIX Well, finding that source again just got infinitely harder, didn't it?

ATHENA Maybe? I don't know. Either way, we have time before that search becomes urgent, and, at least we know it exists. Hopefully we never really have to worry about it at all.

FELIX That doesn't make it any less frustrating, though, does it?

ATHENA Well, technology is wonderful, when it works. I appreciate the fact that you were recording anything for me at all, I know that code protocol can be a pain.

FELIX Well, strange as it sounds, I'm glad these protocols exist. It makes it seem like an effort is being made to keep things sorted, I suppose.

ATHENA Keeping our ducks in a row?

FELIX Precisely.

ATHENA Well, I can only hope. I've never had to run a crew-wide chronicling operation before outside of a drill. I was hoping I would never have to.

FELIX One narrator of this comedy of errors should have been enough?

ATHENA Precisely.

Anyways, do you want to head back to camp now? Everyone will want to know you're alright.

FELIX They were really worried?

ATHENA Of course they were. Alex wants her ducks in a row, too. An odd one out wouldn't be good for us.

FELIX Like an Ace of Dishes.

ATHENA Only, we were pretty sure you weren't in Miles's pocket.

[Both laugh.]

ATHENA (CONT'D) Here.

[sfx: footsteps]

ATHENA (CONT'D) This way.

***

FELIX Chronicling Log of Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion, third part.

It's past evening now, into the night. I think the others have gone to bed. Yet, it appears that I can't sleep. Something about today unnerved me. There is no explanation for my confusion, except my own anxieties, my paranoia, what have you. I know that.

I know that in the same way I know that the walls of a cave don't move around you. Not unless you are very patient, dead, or mad.

In my case, the jury is still out on the latter.

A planet isn't conscious, it isn't sentient, it shouldn't know who I am.

And yet, there's nothing left of that recording to even tell you what I mean. All that's left is how I remember it, and that perturbs me.

Here's the thing: I can tell myself that I lost my way in a dead end simply because I am afraid of what happens when I turn my back. But if I deem that fear a sound rationalization... then I may have something to evaluate. A time of soul-searching, hopefully. In the company of a snack.

ALEX Yikes. Deep. Make sure you have your coffee first.

FELIX Commander! Where did- I'm sorry, I thought you were asleep with the others, did I wake you-

[Alex laughs quietly.]

ALEX Shh, shhh! Athena and Miles are still asleep, I was just... I was... never mind.

[sfx: Alex sits down.]

ALEX (CONT'D) You recording?

FELIX Er, yes. As redundant as it may seem.

ALEX Redundant?

FELIX Yes. Just between you and me, boss? I doubt anyone will ever listen to these.

ALEX You really think so?

FELIX The good folks back at headquarters tend to overindulge on bureaucracy. Efficiency is prioritised to the detriment of efficiency.

Perhaps the duty will be passed on to an Artificial Intelligence like our friend. I suppose that works just as well.

ALEX There's the silver lining I was waiting for.

FELIX Oh, don't rely on me for that.

ALEX Why not? It's worked so far.

Case and point: that card trick was probably the silver lining of my day. And I still have no idea how you did it.

FELIX Really?

ALEX Really. No clue. Unless Miles was in on it, but I seriously doubt that.

FELIX I can show you.

ALEX Yeah?

[sfx: rustling through a bag, cards rustling, flipping and shuffling]

FELIX Certainly.

Now, the first thing is, Miles didn't pick the Ace of Dishes. I did. And then I convinced them that they did. And convincing Miles Abbott of something is probably the hardest part of any trick, so if you can manage that... this next part is quite easy.

ALEX The next part is the actual trick, you mean.

FELIX The convincing is the trick. If you can't even convince yourself that you can do it, make a card do something miraculous, how are you going to convince the people watching?

ALEX Good point. Teach me.

FELIX Very well. So it looks like this, when we actually do it. Pulling it out of a pocket.

[sfx: card flick]

FELIX (CONT’D) But really, we're just folding the card behind quickly as you flick it off the bottom of the pack, like that, and then... you cup it into your palm when you reach out. It never leaves your hand.

[sfx: the same card flick, but slower]

[sfx: a card sliding]

ALEX Oh. Ohhhhh, okay! Gimme one.

[Felix laughs.]

[sfx: passing Alex a card.]

FELIX Give it a try.

ALEX Okay... so... take it from the bottom of the... deck, and then-

[sfx: a similar card flick, a similar card slide]

ALEX (CONT’D) Like that?

FELIX Yes. Exactly.

ALEX Alright. Alright, okay. So... from here...

[sfx: a quick card flick, a quick card slide]

ALEX Like that?

FELIX Ha! You picked that up quickly, sir.

[sfx: repeated flick and slide of the card performed by Alex]

ALEX I can do more than play Go Fish, Couvillion.

FELIX That's for certain. It's double trouble for the rest of the crew, in any case. Two magicians are better than one, you know.

[sfx: card sounds stop]

ALEX Oh, man. Miles is going to hate this.

***

ANNOUNCER Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast.

This episode, Miraculously Misplaced, was written by Lauren Tucker, edited by Luka Miller, and directed by Jesse Smith and Lauren Tucker. It starred Jesse Smith as the voice of Athena Romero, Jackson Rossman as the voice of Miles Abbott, Luka Miller as the voice of Alex de la Cruz, Kaleb Piper as the voice of Felix Couvillion, and Pippa van Beek-Paterson as the voice of Cal. Original music by Julia Barnes, and sound editing by Tobias Friedman. Be sure to stay tuned to our feed for upcoming episodes from the new backpacking intergalactic adventure from Futuristic Trail Mix Productions. Enjoying the show, and want to give us a boost? You can support us by rating and reviewing us on iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts, or telling a friend about us. To follow the show and find transcripts, you can find us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram as @MicroCosPod. Questions, comments, and concerns can be emailed to us via [email protected]. Thank you for listening. ***

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