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corvidmasters · 1 year ago

Text

Respite

pairing: oc x arjuna canon point: some time during epic of remnant, right before arjuna's second interlude summary: one enters distressed and exits calm. the other enters calm and exits distressed. ao3 version i got so fucking mad that my nearly-finished work for today got screwed up by technical difficulties that i finished this in a rage enjoy <3

Servants of all sorts of shapes and sizes fill the cafeteria to the brim. The only thing stopping a remodel to expand it was the looming inevitably of the Servants' dismissal, but even with that and an impending investigation, it seems that nobody is particularly bothered. Everyone is happy, eating, satisfied. Compared to the Chaldea from just after Lev's betrayal, it's lively.

Before the final battle against Goetia, Macha would have considered the sight an enjoyable one, if a bit overwhelming. But where she once felt joy was only hollowness. She masks it with a smile and moves theatrically when Servants and the few other Masters speak to her, keeping up her image of a capable and goofy big sister. She wouldn't dare to try and shatter that harmony—even when it's becoming painful, even when every single conversation seems to be blending into one another, even when the din just seems so horribly loud and she can hear every single conversation other than the one her table is involving her in—

"Macha, are you alright?"

Mash's gentle voice breaks Macha out of her trance. To the older girl's dismay, it seems she's slipped up somehow, but where? She responded perfectly, smiled perfectly, cracked jokes perfectly. When she looks down, Macha realizes that her plate is still full of food while the rest of the table's plates are clean.

"Do you have a stomach ache? It's unusual for you to not finish fried shrimp."

Macha brings her gaze back up. She mentally clicks her tongue at the sight of such young eyes looking at her with worry. She shouldn't have ordered her favorite food.

She forces yet another smile. "You see, young Mash, I was simply so taken by our conversation that I had forgotten to eat—"

"Please don't lie."

Ritsuka stops her with a quiet voice. Macha's smile is immediately wiped off her face in shock. Some of the nearby Servants go quiet, with those that Ritsuka and Macha are contracted to clearly showing concern. Out of the corner of her eye, Macha can see Emiya stare at her from the kitchen window, his arms folded.

Macha doesn't know what she hates more—the overstimulation from before, or the silence of defeat.

"...I suppose I am not feeling well, yes." Macha smiles again, weaker this time, then gets out of her chair. "I will retire."

Mash gives Macha a warm, if concerned, smile in return. "Feel better soon."

Macha can feel the eyes of the other two Masters and her Servants on her back as she heads for the door. She knows this won't be the end of it now that people know about her wound. The vulnerability of it all gnaws at her already frayed edges and makes her want to scratch her stomach out and shriek.

When she passes by the kitchen window, Emiya is still there. "Hey."

Macha stops.

"I'll save your plate in the fridge, so eat it later."

A small huff leaves her mouth. At the very least, she's grateful that her first Servant understands well that such indirect displays of care are best. "Yes, sir. I'll be sure to do that."

She walks out into the hallway. As soon as she no longer has to stand straight and strong for everyone, Macha lets her taut shoulders go slack and her head hang.

How long has it been since Dr. Roman—no, Solomon—sacrificed himself? She can't remember. It was as if the moment he unveiled himself time began to blend. Her sharp nose couldn't help but sniff out something at least a little off about him, but her unhealthy love for him blinded her to the possibility that he might have been such a big puzzle piece in the mystery that was their enemy. To accept that maybe Dr. Roman had something to do with the enemy was equal to resigning herself to losing the only outsider who knew everything about her. To see him reveal his hand told her everything.

Macha has lost something again because she didn't think hard enough and didn't act quick enough. Her little brother's future, whatever that may be, came at the cost of something else precious.

Her feet take her as they please. Though she's still looking forward, she registers nothing in her vision. Where is she even going? The empty halls of Chaldea all look the same. It only serves to disorient her further. Macha turns down a random corner; out of the corner of her eye, a different-colored blob appears. It's blue, silver, black and brown, and it's cautiously coming towards her.

"Master?"

Macha's sight regains its focus at the familiar call. Her gaze rises from the floor to see Arjuna, brows slightly upturned as he observes her. A smile makes its way onto her face and she opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out, and so she closes it.

This immediately raises red flags in Arjuna's mind. From his perspective, she's clearly been devastated ever since the events from their final battle—that much was evident by what she'd let slip through the cracks. He believed you'd have to be a fool to not think it was tied to the man who sacrificed himself, with the way he'd find her standing around in places the doctor once frequented. But this was the first time she's been totally incapable of keeping up her front. And rather than point it out...

"Are you returning from the cafeteria?"

...he instead opts to give her an easy out. Macha readily takes it, visibly relaxing.

"Yes. The kitchen staff is exceptional as always." With a bit of her pomp restored, she crosses her arms and smiles brighter, then moves to take a step forward. "I'll be heading to my—"

At that moment, her shaking foot meets the floor. Except instead of properly moving her forward, it buckles under her weight and sends her tumbling down. She's met with her own confused face in the polished floors, strands of black hair covering half her face. "Ah..."

"Master!" Arjuna is immediately at Macha's side. He reaches out to help her up into a sitting position, feeling that he's putting more strength into it than her. She's quivering so much that even her lower lip is shaking. "Are you alright? Do you need to—"

—go to the infirmary.

He lets that die on his lips.

Macha leans against him slightly, still forcing half a smile even now. "I...am fine. It's just that...perhaps I haven't been eating enough..."

"..." Arjuna isn't sure what to say or do. On one hand, he doesn't want to press it too hard, but on the other, he would like to lift her up and ensure she's eating properly. He begins to shift his hands to take her to the cafeteria anyways.

"Arjuna," Macha says quietly to interrupt him, "can we lay here for a moment?"

"Lay here?" He raises a brow. "In the middle of the hall?"

She nods. "Just for a moment...just a little."

Arjuna hesitates. He then moves to guide her to the nearest wall, seats himself against it, and gently allows her to rest her head in his lap. It would be unbecoming for him to not try to at least give her a little comfort, he thinks. Macha lies there on her back, attention focused mostly on the ceiling.

It's quiet. Neither of them seem particularly interested in breaking the silence. Macha even starts to shut her eyes; Arjuna speaks up immediately at this. "If you'd like to sleep, I don't advise doing it out here. I can take you back to your room if need be."

"I won't sleep. I promise." For whatever reason, warmth spreads along her expression. "I'm only resting my eyes."

"...Very well. If you insist."

They fall silent again, the space filled with the light electronic hum of the fluorescent lights above them. Arjuna takes this time to observe his Master's face. Though she's cheered up slightly now, he can see evidence of bags under her eyes. Her hair is still somewhat disheveled from her fall, but he doesn't move to fix it. He's not sure why he feels the urge to. He's her Servant, not her caretaker or lover—there are lines he shouldn't be crossing.

"Arjuna."

It's Macha's turn to break the silence, which takes the brooding Arjuna by surprise. He straightens himself in expectation of an order.

"Your voice is very gentle. It's pleasant."

The only response he can offer right away is a quiet blink.

Macha is prone to express lavish compliments on virtually everyone at Chaldea. Her fellow Masters and her Servants, himself included, are often referred to as "dear friends". There have been no shortage of epithets she's rained upon him ("the greatest archer", "the peerless bowman", "the silver strength", to name a few), and yet this time it feels different. There's a sincerity in Macha's tired voice that immediately sends waves of some sort of emotion roll through him. He's not sure what to do about it. It's making him somewhat dizzy.

"...Thank you, Master," Arjuna finally replies.

Macha opens her eyes and looks up at him. "Can I hear more of it?"

"A strange request, but...very well. Here. I'm speaking. Is this satisfactory?"

Macha laughs in a manner very different from her usual dramatic guffaw. It's quiet like a breeze and gentle like it, too. The waves rolling through Arjuna intensify, so he begins to pray that it ends soon, whatever 'it' is. And his prayers are answered quickly, as Macha suddenly lifts herself up off his lap and sits there, no longer shaking.

She turns her head to him with a grin. "Do you think the cafeteria is empty by now?"

Arjuna composes himself quickly so that he can reply, nodding slightly. "Yes. We've been here for some time, and the period for dinner service was already reaching its end..."

"Let's go, then."

Macha stands up, Arjuna watching. When she smiles at him, he stops hesitating and stands himself. "Of course."

"Now then, where did he put it..."

Arjuna guessed correctly; there wasn't a single soul in the cafeteria save for a stray staff member. It's almost impressive how large the difference is between when Macha left and now, with the once-packed room seeming so much larger in its emptiness. Macha rifles through various leftovers and ingredients in the fridge as Arjuna stands guard in front of her. There's no reason to do such a thing, but he's not sure what else he's supposed to do.

"Aha!" shouts Macha. She triumphantly pulls out her untouched plate of fried shrimp and shredded cabbage, carefully wrapped in plastic by Emiya. After setting it down on the kitchen counter, she pulls out a piece of paper from the case attached to her belt and uses magecraft to make it as sharp as a knife. The ordinarily flimsy paper cuts through the plastic like a hot knife through butter. "Arjuna, could you get two pairs of chopsticks?"

"Of course." Arjuna moves to her command automatically, then stops when his brain catches up. That odd emotion from earlier threatens to return. "But why two?"

"Hmm? Because we'll be sharing this, of course."

With Macha's back turned to him, Arjuna allows himself to frown. He often avoids the cafeteria as much as possible, though the woman standing before him has a tendency to drag him there whenever she's able to catch him on her way to mealtime. Even then, he's never sure what to order—so he simply doesn't eat, only ordering a cup of tea if the whim comes to him.

"Master, I'm sure you're aware that there's no need for a Servant to eat..." he begins to protest.

"That's true." Macha peels the last of the plastic off the bottom of the plate and throws it in the trash, then returns the paper she used to its original state and puts it away. "But as I am now, I'm paradoxically so hungry that the thought of eating all of this alone makes me feel ill...won't you share it with me, Arjuna?"

When she looks right at him as she asks him that question, Arjuna's mouth dries up in an instant. Without realizing it nor wanting it, he smiles. "If that is what you wish."

He retrieves the chopsticks and joins her out the kitchen, sitting across from her at the nearest table. Macha slowly lowers herself onto her chair so that she doesn't fall over again, then takes the metal chopsticks and picks up a cold fried shrimp by the tail. In moments, its breaded body is shoved into her mouth and devoured section by section, until all that's left is the inedible tail. She's practically sparkling as she chews it, cheeks puffed out like a hamster's.

"Even when it's cold, it tastes delicious..." she says after swallowing. "Go on, Arjuna, try it!"

He holds his comments about how Macha seems like she'd be able to eat it all on her own after all—if she wants him to eat with her, then he'll eat with her. Besides, it's not too awful when there's so few people around. With a 'then here I go', he takes the second of the four large fried shrimps on the plate and bites into it. It's nothing to write home about, and it's lost some of its punch due to the cold. Even so, the crisp is pleasant, and the shrimp are of high quality.

Macha excitedly watches him, chin resting in the palms of her hands. Her gaze is so intense he can't help but glance away bashfully and cover his mouth with his free hand. "Master, please do not stare..."

"Ah, sorry, sorry. I wanted to see your reaction to it, that's all."

"My reaction, hm..." He lowers his hand. "Why is it that you're so fond of fried shrimp, Master?"

"Why?" Macha sits up straight and gazes up at the ceiling as she thinks. Once she comes upon the answer, she picks up her chopsticks again and takes the third fried shrimp, holding it before her mouth, but not taking a bite just yet, instead gazing at it. "Before I came to Chaldea, I didn't have much in the way of meal variety. My first ever meal here was fried shrimp...I thought it was amazing that such a dish existed, and I suppose I just became attached to it."

Arjuna looks down at his own shrimp. "I see...So it simply came to you at the right time and place."

"Indeed. That tends to be how it goes for a lot of things I like." Macha devours the shrimp she's holding, then sets down her chopsticks and smiles at Arjuna. "You've been asking so many questions about me lately, Arjuna."

Once again, something unidentifiable fills Arjuna to the brim. It takes everything in him to not let his voice shake, nor squeeze his chopsticks together and split the fried shrimp he's holding in two. "Have I?"

Macha nods. "The other day when you came to retrieve me for a mission, you asked what I was reading. A few weeks ago, you asked me why I tease my fellow Masters so relentlessly. It doesn't seem like much, but it's a far cry from your distance from before...I feel like you're truly starting to see me as a friend, just as I see you as one."

Ah.

How sad.

How very, very sad.

Arjuna understands what he's been feeling now.

It's fear.

It petrifies him, chokes him up, leaves cold sweat running down the back of his neck. This was to be expected. He couldn't avoid it for long, especially when his Master is such a friendly, capable sort. What else is he supposed to do? No matter how many times he tries to draw a line in the sand, Macha Schmied will walk right past it and say hello.

The remainder of their conversation is a blur. He finishes his portion of the meal with even less of an appetite than he had before. No longer shaking from hunger, Macha bids him goodnight, and leaves the cafeteria along with the sole lingering staffer. Arjuna is finally alone again, but unlike usual, that brings him no reprieve.

"So, this is part of what it means to be a Servant...how frustrating."

He slowly brings a hand up to his face.

"This cannot go on...Master, please stop crossing these lines."

That night, Macha has a strange dream, beckoned into a bad memory by the bond Arjuna desperately wants to eliminate.

#arjuna #machajuna #machababy #my art #mastersona #fate oc #yumejoshi

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