#maaaaaybe i could post a picture of just them at some point

[parab0mb]

A few extremely rough sketches of some old designs (mostly robots) from an old sci-fi story idea of mine I did as a quick little drawing exercise (or something I guess); drew 'em from memory and couldn't remember what some of them looked like, so some look better than others (you can probably gauge which ones I remembered better).

Most likely won't do anything further with these doodles, nor do I really have plans to revisit the aforementioned sci-fi story idea (maybe. never say never).

[mcustorm]

Thoughts on Jamie Johnson 5x08

I actually don’t even know what to think. You guys don’t understand. Do you know how serious this episode was? It was so serious, that my afternoon nap was delayed so I could write this post. And only important things stop my head from hitting the pillow.

Last week was Dillon’s glorious coming out, a beautiful moment to put an apex to all the tension between Dillon and Elliot. This week, Dillon’s coming out continues, for better or for worse.

I love how *all* of this episode centered around Dillon coming to terms with being out/being outed. It underlined the significance and severity of the moment. Somebody check up on Patrick Ward’s back because he was carrying this episode, and I know we’re all here for Dillon but he truly is the most fascinating character on the show.

Delliot getting ready to see each other after the previous day’s shocking events was such a cute scene. We all know that the characters on this show tend not to feel any way about anybody romantically, so just seeing those two try to look/smell nice for somebody they may feel some-kind-of-way about...ah, there goes those memories of mine again, haha.

And of course, I for the most part like Elliot’s role as someone who’s a little bit more experienced and can help out a baby gay like Dillon. Elliot being so different from everybody else we’ve met thus far on the show not only makes him fascinating to us, but to Dillon as well. On the other hand, I did not like that 1) Elliot almost immediately went and told Ruby and 2) after helping out Dillon with his gay journey, he mayhaps yeeted off into the sunset.

Ya know, if Hansard and Harry and Indira and Molly and Savage and Wozza and Jethro and Jack’s awesome dad and the different-somehwat-prominent-black-male-extras-on-the-team-each-season didn’t exist, I would have more faith that Elliot might have more of a role in the story moving forward. But this show has proven time and time again that if the character’s name isn’t Jack, then once the story is done with you it’s done. At this point in his journey, it maybe isn’t the best idea that Dillon get involved in a relationship. That makes sense. But to maaaaaybe reduce Elliot to a m*****l n***o? I don’ like det. 

It *seems* from what the show has presented thus far, that the only narrative purpose for Elliot to tell Ruby about Dillon is so that [both in-story and in the writer’s room] Dillon can have a reliable shoulder to lean on who is [and this is the important part] not Elliot. With him out of the picture, now Dillon’s go-to is Ruby if he needs a sounding board. And I have no idea why that’s the story-angle they’re going for. Perhaps Elliot threatens the status quo, which is “all of our characters are hopelessly, eternally single.”

But who knows, maybe I’m completely wrong and these last couple of paragraphs are irrelevant. Maybe not.

SN: Seriously, this show’s ships is definitely an interesting writing decision. Thinking about all the ship inequality thinkpieces that came out of the Andi Mack era, let’s talk about how the only canon het ship on this show that may give you feelings like Delliot is Jack and that rich guy whose name I’ve already forgotten. 

Do you wanna know what? Today was the most sympathetic I’ve ever been for Liam, and yet in this episode he did the most despicable thing he’s ever done. Well, maybe I’m not sympathetic per se, but at least I realize that he’s just another victim of his father’s emotional abuse. You know, Joseph’s brothers felt neglected too, and I never said “well maybe their father could’ve treated them better” when they sold their brother into freakin’ slavery. There has to be a line between seeing Liam as a victim and seeing him as just plain evil. Or maybe it’s a Venn Diagram. Either way, I’m still not a fan. I wonder what redemption for this character looks like.

I just like that this show was so unafraid to go there. It is completely unprecedented in any TV show intended for children/young teens...at least to my knowledge. I’m gonna make it very clear that I’m not trying to downplay other shows’ accomplishments, but coming out really is an internal and external journey. One is how you feel about yourself, and the other is how others react. This is my opinion, but some shows have really got the internal part down (DOAFP was GOAT-tier with this one); however, when the time comes to do the external part, the show either doesn’t go there or kinda just limps over the finish line. Does that make sense? Am I just rambling?

I think of all the programs that I’ve watched, this show has already done the best job of reconciling those two aspects of coming out. Besides The Fosters, perchance. Some people will be right by your side, others may need time. Despite all of the blatant and frankly disgusting homophobia that we saw on the program, the show made it clear that this is just what I said: a journey. There may be hope yet.

Also in this episode: Eric feels bad, because he did wrong and also because his “friends” are being generally dickish to him, and Jamie is also here to tell Dillon he did phenomenally at the cup (which, just a portion of that energy would’ve been great yesterday for the entire team, but go awf Mr. Johnson). I guess I should take away that Jamie and Dillon are in a way better place than they’ve been before. Great.

So there ya go. I must say, that was probably a Top 3 episode of this TV show. Which is why that preview for next week made me say, “Okaaaaay…” So wait, are Boggy and Jamie just like BFF’s again? Are we gonna address the nonsense that Jamie was spewing last week? Are Kat and Zoe just friends like that now? Are we gonna address the nonsense that Zoe was up to last week? WAIT, Freddie wants to spend time with just Alba and Eric? ARE WE GOING TO ADDRESS THE NONSENSE Y’ALL WERE ON LAST WEEK?

I will keep going to bat for Eric, idc idc.

See ya next week. Off to take my nap.

[morethanithoughtofficialblog]

Chapter 4: A slight hint of hope

In which the future looks brighter than you may think

*Your POV*

I found myself writing down a letter to the president, technically begging him to let monsters be truly free. Again. I was starting to ask myself why I even try. Again. This the seventeenth letter I've written to him, and yet, he won't listen.

Then I told myself that I shouldn't be thinking like this. That a lot of monsters had their hope on me, therefore, I should try harder.

I smiled, knowing that this was my inner dialogue every single day. And yet, I still have it, no matter what I'm doing. This is one of the few things that amaze me these days.

It's been a while since I have met them. Maybe a month or two; maybe even more. Ever since then, we've been talking for hours in my office every single day. I kinda like it. It gives me the feeling that I'm not alone in the world.

But then again, they'll probably leave once this is over. Or maybe not. Who knows?

They all have been awfully nice to me. Nicely than a lot of humans have ever been. This is one of the thousand reasons I keep writing to the president.

Maaaaaybe I should return to my cheery self. I'm being quite serious, haven't I?

No one can blame, though. I hate to admit it, but this issue is worrying me more than I expected. At first, the case was interesting, yes, but now it's kinda overwhelming, knowing that I'm dealing with a weak point; discrimination.

I just hope I don't end up like Rosa Parks after this. But that's just me being stubborn. Again.

Before my mind could get more depressive, though, I heard someone knock the door. I mentally groaned, with the feeling that I was gonna get a shitty opinion for the trillionth time.

"Come in"

"Wow, that's for sure the sourest answer you've given me, sweetie. That's quite the record!"

A smile crept onto my face. I recognize that voice anywhere!

She slammed the fricking door open like it was some sort of drama movie (which it's exactly what her life is) and posed dramatically. She was wearing sunglasses (even if it was cloudy outside), a fancy-yet-casual blouse, and some skinny jeans. Not to mention the usual high heels that make her bigger than a fucking tree. Oh, how not to miss her?

"Hello, beautiful!" She exclaimed before kissing my cheek on a french-greeting style "You look EXHAUSTED! But, hey, at least you are wearing makeup. Now THAT'S progress!"

"Mailey, I've been wearing makeup daily ever since I got this job"

"Wait..." she paused slightly, then let out a fake gasp. "YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WEARING IT VOLUNTARILY?!"

I giggled way louder than I wanted to, but I didn't mind. Mailey's has always managed to put me in such a good mood, all thanks to her cocky attitude. I haven't seen her for months, so I just really missed her. But I probably said that already. Oh well.

"Oh, (Y/N) darling!" She clapped her hands together in such a girly and unnatural way I almost lose it "Let's go to a café! I don't want to chat in such a sad and old place!"

"Uh, eh... you know what? A break would be great" I hesitantly answered, thinking that I just could clear my mind for a while. I actually haven't done that since I was a preteen, soooo... yeah...

"Wonderful! Let's get going! Just one thing... we will go to Starbucks!"

"Seriously?"

"You know I don't like Dunkin' Donuts, sweetheart. I don't tolerate that bitter taste you normally choose"

"And you know I don't tolerate that overwhelming sweetness you choose every time"

She took a pause and put down briefly her sunglasses, staring at me in fake shock. Oh, I know how much she hates Dunkin' Donuts, but Starbucks simply sucks!

"Well, I'll be the one paying, so I think it's fair" she teasingly added with a huge, goofy grin on her face.

Shit, she got me.

...

Oh well.

"Hmm. Guess you won this time, huh?" I answered, throwing my arms in defeat. She made a victory pose, and I silently giggled. I shouldn't be feeling this lonely since monsters visited today, right?

Well, guess what.

They didn't.

But I'm not complaining since I'm the one who told them not to come for today, arguing that they should take a break from leaving and coming. Some of them didn't think twice and accepted, which made me feel kinda bad. How stubborn have I been to actually keep them coming so often without a chance to take a breath?

...and that's why I also needed a break. Because I was about to become a fucking mess. Leave the tears for the night, (Y/N).

And so I left. Good thing I was doing extra hours, or else, I would have been crying after some time being all alone.

Sometimes I wonder if I can call myself a proper 20 years old adult. I mean, I'm quite mature at some things, but in others, I almost feel like I'm a 5 years old brat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Frisk's POV*

It feels kinda weird not meeting (Y/N) today. Sure, I was getting exhausted of the daily routine, but know... I feel like something's missing. And that something is (Y/N).

We actually haven't been doing much in this little house, since we are really crowded in here. Yes, it has two floors, but we are more than 10 people, and it's starting to get on my nerves. Not even the orphanage felt this crowded.

But, hey, at least I'm with my friends and family and not with some random kids pushing each other. I think this is pretty much ok, I guess.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. Excited, I quickly ran to get it, and a smile flashed on my face. Emily, the daughter of the kind owners, has come for her weekly visit. Even Sans seemed eager to receive her, noticing his white pinpricks turn brighter.

She's 10 years old, so her voice is quite soft and pretty. I think she's on her school's choir and musical group, which it's totally cool. She has golden, twirly hair that gets not too long below her shoulders, and tends to wear a lot of dresses.

We were friends in the orphanage, so I know a thing or two more than the monsters do.

"Hi, kind creatures!" she chirped happily, making all of us grin wider. We returned the greeting quickly, which just made her giggle.

"I brought some gifts for you!" she added, clearly excited. I couldn't help myself, so I ended up drawing a small smile upon my lips. I'm always happy with her. She's just too kind and innocent, like the cinnamon roll Papyrus. I really missed her when I went on my trip to the Underground.

We all gathered in a circle, and watch with awe the food she brought us.

"Finally something new!" Undyne exclaimed with joy, hugging the little girl.

She also brought action figures for Papyrus, some clothes for all of us, some beautiful earrings to Toriel, and a book for Sans. Oh, so that's why he was eager, huh? I just remembered that she gives Sans a book every week, which he normally ends in the night after her visit. Then he just keeps rereading it until Emily comes again. It's fun to see him stress over a single book, though. One day he almost broke down when he found out that it was an open ending. Or, how he calls them, a 'fuck-the-reader's-mind-and-soul' ending.

"thanks, kid" he muttered, trying to hide his excitement and failing miserably. I smirked quietly, and he shrugged it off with a shy smile. I don't get this guy; but that's fine, I guess.

She decided to stay with us for the night, clearly feeling bored at her house. I understand, though. When you live in an orphanage you are never lonely, but if they suddenly adopt you with no other kids, it feels weird.

And so, we ended up planning the perfect game for a sleepover: pillow fighting. I was teaming up with Flowey (I forced him to play) and Emily. The other team was formed by Papyrus, Undyne, and Sans... who was just lazily resting on a pillow. And, naturally, Papyrus groaned when he noticed.

"BROTHER! GET UP, YOU LAZYBONES, AND HELP US BUILD A FORT! I DON'T PRETEND TO LOSE ONLY FOR YOUR LAZINESS!"

"sorry, bro. guess my laziness-"

"SANS"

"-rattled your bones"

"SAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!!!!"

When I was about to protest, Asgore's cellphone started to ring.

And before he took it, I saw the ID caller...

And it was (Y/N)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Your POV*

I was listening to Mailey's plans for the future. Apparently, her boyfriend has an apartment in San Diego, and she wants to go with him. She says that her future is better in there and blah blah blah. I certainly don't think that's the reason she wants to go, but hey, I can't judge.

I slowly took a sip from my coffee, being the bitterest I could find. And, somehow, it was still sweet. Goddamnit.

If Mailey goes away, then... my life will be pretty much the same, actually. Yes, I will miss her, but we are not best friends and we didn't see each other frequently in the past. Still, I will have fewer people to casually tell my secrets and some of my problems. Now I have less than half of the friends I had in high school. Great.

But, well, she has changed. A lot. Yes, she still makes me laugh with her self-security, but it's not the same. She has lost that... simpleness she had. Now she posts on Instagram every day, she wants to be an influencer, and hell, she even put herself some pink strips on her blonde hair. Maybe I miss seeing that dorky part of her. She's just, well... different. I shouldn't be thinking like that, but it's true.

I was about to hide my face so Mailey couldn't take a picture of me when I received a call. Wow, no one can have a break these days, right?

The number wasn't part of my contacts, which was weird, but I decided to answer anyway. Not for being a good person, but as an excuse to calm Mailey the fuck down.

"Hello, this is (Y/N) (L/N). How can I help you?"

"Hello, (Y/N)... may I have a word with you?" a rough and familiar voice answered, which immediately put me nervous. Who is this guy?

"...I'm sorry sir, but could you specify who are you? We may have talked before, but I just can't remem-"

"Of course we have talked, miss (Y/N)" he interrupted, and I silently gulped "Actually, you wanted to discuss something with me, isn't that right?"

No way-

"I'm the president, miss (L/N). You have caught my interest with your detailed arguments, saying that monsters deserve a chance to grow in society. Or did I just called the wrong person?"

I stood there in shock for a few seconds, then made my way out of Starbucks to hear better. Keep your cool, (Y/N), and everything will be alright.

"You are totally right, Mr. President. I'm the one who sent those letters."

"Great. Now, let's discuss a few things, ok?"

"Of course sir".

I listened carefully, searching for any hints of hatred or irony in his voice. Instead, I just heard interest in the way he mentioned my arguments.

Eventually, we gave each other a quick-yet-formal goodbye, and I immediately called Asgore.

This is a serious business.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Asgore's POV*

My mind was thinking the worst when I saw (Y/N)'s ID on my phone. I saw that others were worried, too. Could this be the end? Are we going back to the Underground, after all those years of waiting?

I picked up reluctantly, watching the expectant reaction of my wi- Toriel, the expectant reaction of Toriel.

"Oh, hello (Y/N)!" I exclaimed, trying to keep my hopes high enough for everyone. "How has been your day?"

"It's been fine, thank you. How has been yours?" She bluntly answered, sounding like she was... distant.

Let's just hope it isn't what I'm thinking.

"It's been good, (Y/N). Anyways, how can I help you, young one?"

She didn't answer immediately. Actually, she remained still for a long time. The only thing I could hear was her breathing, and my positive smile was turning into a nervous one.

"Asgore, we have something we need to discuss"

And my smile dropped.

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WEINER AWARDS 2K19

Introduction by Curly

*SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOPS* ITS TIIIIIIMMMEEEE

thats right u precious little gifts from heaven it is finally time to look at the previous year’s movies, trudge through the piles of shit, and pick out the very best shiniest golden nuggets cause ITS WIENER SEASON BABBIIIEEEE

............... ok so i gotta level with y’all for a second this enthusiasm is very very forced this year.  i was taking a look at the list of nominees the other day and was like, almost shocked???  does it seem shorter than usual this year to y’all or is it just me????  where are all the cool movies????????  how in gods name did that movie where christian bale wears a dick cheney suit for two hours get nominated for so much shit???????????????

this list is extremely underwhelming, especially considering some great movies came out this year.  i know that horror movies being nominated for oscars is a long shot but like goddamn y’all are really gonna snub my girl toni collette???  did u not SEE her performance in hereditary???????  the suspiria remake was fucking phenomenal too and i thought for sure dakota johnson might get something especially since she more than redeemed herself after the 50 Shades shitshow but nope nothing for her either!  i guess cause get out got noms last year the academy has deemed it inappropriate to nominate more than one Spooky Scary movie in a decade

so out of the eight best picture noms ive only seen 2 of them, A Star is Born and Black Panther, so i dont really know how much i can say about this list right now until i start watching and reviewing them individually.  so i guess ill just touch on the two ive seen by saying that i dont really think either of them is deserving of a best picture nom (which is probably a controversial statement but WHOOPS).  theyre both good movies for sure (and ill go more in depth on my Feelings on both of them in their reviews), but theyre both very commercial, very run-of-the-mill films that cater to a mass audience but dont really do much else.  and thats not to say that films with mass appeal cant be good enough to get nominated for oscars, i just dont think that these two movies Did That.

in fact now that i mention it there are quite a few commercially successful films on the noms list this year that didnt really stand out to me enough to warrant them getting noms at all.  Avengers: Infinity War entertained the shit outta me and its gotta be the best modern superhero movie ive seen in the past few years but its by no means groundbreaking.  who the fuck knows why Christopher Robin got nominated at all cause the visual effects are nothing to write home about, and like is it just protocol now to throw oscars noms at Star Wars movies????  i heard solo: a star wars story was boring and lifeless but yeah sure just throw em a visual effects nom just for the hell of it

im betting money that Supreme Overlord Disney has a lot to do with this, cause their scope over the film and television industry has skyrocketed over the past few years.  theyre buying companies left and right so at this point its actually not much of a surprise to me that quite a few of their films have made it onto the oscars noms list.  which is uuuhhhhh a little terrifying when u think about it for too long but EEHHH FUCK IT DISNEY WORLD AND MICKEY MOUSE AMIRITE FELLOW LADS

i will say that i am very excited to check out a decent amount of the movies on the list.  barry jenkins came out with If Beale Street Could Talk right on time for awards season and ive heard nothing but great things so im really pumped and Ready To Cry.  and The Favorite, by the same director who did The Lobster and The Killing of a Sacred Deer, has been on my to-watch list since it was released in theaters.  yorgos lanthimos has such an interesting and unique vision with his films, and it will be really cool to see his style applied to something like a classic period piece.  its also really awesome to see a foreign language film also be nominated for best picture, so ill have to try and check out Roma which so far has had stellar reviews.  First Reformed seems like the kind of steadily-paced drama/thriller that i just cant get enough of so that’s going on my watchlist for sure, and despite my mixed feelings on spike lee BlacKkKlansman was overall positively received so ill give it a watch.  the only two animated films i have any interest in seeing are Mirai and Into the Spiderverse (which im honestly hoping wins cause it just looks so goddamn cool), and maaaaaybe ill see Isle of Dogs.  maybe.  oh and i almost forgot about The Ballad of Buster Scruggs!!  its neat seeing a made-for-Netflix movie on the oscars list and ill never say no to a Coen Brothers movie so thats one to watch.

well i think thats about it for now!!  normally i have a lot more to say about the oscars before i even start doing the movie reviews but idk man there hasnt been much hype about this years awards ceremony.  i dont even wanna get into the whole kevin hart situation cause thats just a complete clusterfuck and a lil cringey (*cough* U DO NOT SPEAK FOR ALL OF THE GAYS ELLEN SIT UR ASS DOWN *cough*) but thats besides the point.  i have soooooo much shit to say about black panther and a star is born so get ur reading eyes ready cause those posts are gonna be REAL LONG! and otherwise it should be a good and fun and fresh time!!  if there are any movies on the noms list that i didnt mention here that u want me to see lemme know, especially if u have recommendations for the documentary nominations cause i havent heard of any of them except for RGB. 

hope y’all are ready for oscars classic uncured wieners cause i know i sure am ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)  (please help me)

[highwaydiamonds]

Bit of a Throwback Thursday here, but Roddrigo y Gabriela came up in conversation for me earlier this week, and this Tiny Desk Home Concert starts with Tamacun - and old fave of mine from them. The rest of the show is fun too (much of it a rehash from their original tiny desk concert in 2009) . But really Tamacun never gets old - so good.

Ok and now to the point - Yay finished out this week's exercise. Today wasn't so bad I guess. Got there a few minutes late but got into the groove of it s soon as I could. By the end of today's session I felt like I did really well; I got more distance under my best than I have before, so yay to that. Also I definitely did get sweaty and felt myself working, but not in a bad/painful way. Just i knew I was pushing myself.

Wednesday was the hard day. Tuesday evening somehow felt like it ought to have been Thursday evening and knowing that I had two more days left of exercise was just SO irksome. Wednesday I really didn't want to go... As in i made myself get out of bed and go nd do the stupid thing anyway. When I got in there I was cranky and physically I was sore (my knees and legs) so I had kind of a slow start. I told myself the fact I was there at all while really not wanting to be there was a win on its own. But somewhere in the mix of it my legs felt okay, and I ended up pushing myself for the last 10-15 minutes before cooldown. When I left on Wednesday I was actually a little, or maybe, more than a little bit proud of myself. I went even when Ii didn't want to, and I did better than I expected I would. Go me!

My therapy session this week was good too - talked about the exercise with my therapist and how I was kind of realizing last week, " oh shit... i have to do this exercise crap for like.... well, until i die... so this goal is never going to end? shiiiiiit. lovely. :P " and ways I am trying to remind myself why I am doing it ( helps regulate my blood sugar, and i can already feel that it helps me endurance wise elsewhere so will make travel easier, and also is my excuse to get my nails done.... etc) Also told my therapist that I got a couple pairs of thigh high socks (from Thunda Thighs) and how when i put the black pair on a) OMG THEY ACTUALLY FIT ME (which you guys this is a big fucking deal ok) AND I DO NOT TOTALLY HTE HOW MY LEGS LOOK IIN THEM. Granted I have only tried on the black ones as yet and not the pink ones I got but stiiiiiiill. I haven't take any pictures yet because the light in my room sucks for it, but I might at some point. The pink ones I might not like as much ( y'know black yadda yadda slimming etc) but I was excited. And my therapist and I discussed snag tights... I looked on their website and they have some cute things and my therapist talked them up.... plus i could definitely be swayed by some of the pairs - and mock garters!!! I have compression stockings I have to wear which make me think no onn the fishnets but omg the fishnets are cute... and maaaaaybe i could wear fishnets over other tights???? thoughts to think about :D )

Oh and one of my valentine's day gifts to mahself arrived today :D I have a pair of huggie earrings that I got from Michelle Wang before christmas - v bougie of me, i know. They are the huggies in gold with pearls and ii adore them. However, i wanted something kind of the same sort of style ( minus pearls- i have a silver and pearl lever back earring already) but not as expensive as the michelle wang - and those were p-r-i-c-e-y for me. I found a silver and CZ set of huggies with lill silver and cz heart padlocks on them, but the padlocks are also removable so I don't have to wear them if i don't want. SO versatile and adorable. I tried to get a good pic of them on my ear but no dice.. so here is a cut down pic i screen capped instead to give a sense of scale (good gravy tumblr gives me a heck of a time trying to post pictures 🙄)

No new nails for this week - i am going to try another place and have an appointment with them for next friday... We shall see. I'm thinking glittery ombre of some sort - probably either pinkish or purple. Might change my mind by next week tho :D

That was your exercise and rando other stuff update - congrats if you read this far and happy galentine's and valentines to youuuuuu 💖

[sherlockmyonlychemicaldefec-blog]

Everything I have to say about Sherlock at this point (including some unpopular opinions)

Hello to anyone reading this post who I assume is or was at some point a fan of BBC Sherlock, I hope each one of you is having a good time despite everything that may be going wrong in your life right now. Things always get better, I promise  So, I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while now and I feel like now is the best time to do so. You see, about a month ago I watched this TedTalk that really affected how I think( why do you think you’re right even when you’re wrong). I really suggest you watch the video, but to summarize it, it was about how we need to think and act like a scout and not a soldier. A Soldier’s main concern is to attack or defend herself, her heart starts pounding, her hormone levels are elevated and basically she cares about defeating the opponent more than anything else. Scouts on the other hand mainly focus on seeing exactly what is there, there is no bias, there is no attacking, it is simply observing in the best way possible. This is exactly what all of us must do in order to have a healthy conversation and unfortunately it is hard thing to do I admit. However hard we try, we can never be 100% unbiased and I find that very natural. Still, I try my best to stay unprejudiced and as challenging as this feat is, it is worth it. Everything I am about to say in the following paragraphs I have tried to analyze based on everything I’ve been observing in this fandom and even though I do not claim at all that all of these are completely unbiased, I have to say I tried my best. ( it would still be very faulty because who am I kidding, we’re all human beings and we are biased) Before I start I need to give a background of myself. Because I have not seen anyone in this fandom with a background similar to mine. I’m almost 21. I come from a country where being gay is considered both a sin and a crime. If they find out you are gay or catch you in the act, you will be hanged. Dreadful huh? People here are generally very very homophobic, if you live in America, just multiple the level of homophobia there by 1000X and maybe, maaaaaybe you’ll get a little close to the rate here. I do not mean to scare the hell out of you, I’m just trying my best to paint a good picture. I consider myself an asexual even though I’m not sure because I do not feel like I physically hate sex when I’m having it, I just mentally find the idea of sex disturbing. I cannot even tolerate making out or kissing scenes, the sound does the same thing to my ears that scratching the ground with your nails. Sex in general is one of the most disgusting things I believe exists in this world and I just wish that there was some cuter way of making babies. I don’t think I’m gay because I like boys but I’m not sure if I’m straight either. I’ve been following everything’s that’s been happening in the Sherlock fandom ever since season 4 started. I’m not a very old fan of Sherlock, I started watching the show less than a year ago and I have to admit, I was obsessed with it instantly. I did not get into this fandom until after finishing season three and because I was at first a hardcore AdLock shipper (still kinda am) and also a Molly-lover (still am) and currently am in Love with Johnlock I think I can pretty much relate to lots of people here. Before explaining myself, just let me say this. I Abhor and despise The Final Problem from the bottom of both my heart and brain. I just hate it. Now before I get judged for spreading hate, I should say that this is not spreading hate. There is a spectrum of evaluation for anything. If someone has the right to say something was perfect and she loved it. I have the right to say it was terrible and I hate it. I do not hate any Person, just their creation, or better to say, what they have done to their creation. You see, I think there are three main attitudes people can have towards BBC Sherlock ( Relating to JohnLock) 1- John and Sherlock’s relationship is very important in the series but it is just a deep platonic bond. 2- John and Sherlock’s relationship is important in the series and it is romantic. 3- John and Sherlock’s relationship is not that important and it is all about the cases and the adventures. Honestly, and this is my personal opinion, I think the final problem cannot satisfy any of these attitudes. There was no romance there, the platonic bond was gone and was there even a case? I do not mind at all Sherlock and john getting together romantically, but I would have been completely satisfied and happy with them just being very good friends like they were at the end of episode one for example. But even that friendship was gone. Would you just stand there doing nothing when your best friend is putting a gun on himself with a countdown to shoot? Now I have seen some people saying that John had just become numb but this episode was supposed to be a finale, characters needed to come to complete their transformation, so John’s transformation was to become completely numb and indifferent toward his best friend killing himself? To me, it does not make any sense. I did not see the episode when it was leaked but I saw many people being upset by it and when I finally watched it this was my very first reaction : ( bursting into laughter) can’t you see what’s happening guys??!? They made this episode so explicitly ridiculous that they did not even think anyone would doubt its fakeness!! “ I’m not even exaggerating, this was my first reaction, to me, from the very first scene, the episode felt like a parody, a very cheesy play I kept waiting for the scene to change into the real one and it just did not., and for weeks I did not even want to explain to people why I thought it was fake because it was just so obvious to me. I did not even need metas or theories, for me the umbrella-sword-gun was enough proof for the triteness and stupidity of the episode. I mean, I couldn’t just understand how people can ignore the cheesiness of this scene: a show like Sherlock cannot pull of such cartoonish scenes, it just does not fit, can you understand what I’m saying? Such scenes do not belong to the Sherlock universe. What my thoughts are on TJLC: I’m a person who hates sex and believe me when I say this, John and Sherlock are the only couple that I will not mind at all having sex and you know why? There are just toooo many stupid shallow romantic movies of guys and girls who look into each other’s eye and jump into bed together the next day that I’m just craving for deep bond and true loves stories. John and Sherlock have killed for each other, sacrificed everything for each other, changed because of each other, grew in character because of each other, I just feel like I’m ready for them to do whatever they wanna do. It just feels right. I see nothing wrong with it. What is love if it is not what’s between Sherlock and John? This is the love I want. True love. Now, I think some of theories and opinions in TJLC are pretty far-fetched or at least could be interpreted in so many other ways too. For instance, the scene with Janine and Sherlock kissing and john freaking out and insisting to know what has happened: TJLC claims it’s because John is jealous but to me, it’s more like he is very curious and confused because honestly if you have a friend who considers any type of romantic relationship stupid and pointless how will you react if you see her/him kissing someone? He could be jealous but other interpretations are also valid. This is of course just an example, there are some other points I do not agree with. And then there’s this opinion that we should try to encourage men having deep relationships without having to make it sexual which I also strongly agree with. Now all of these aside, I personally believe it does not matter who you ship Sherlock with or which of those three attitudes you have toward the show, The Final Problem does not make sense. I am not exactly a pro-TJLC and then I am not completely against it. I love Irene, I love Molly and I love the cases. The point I’m trying to make by saying all of these is that I have been trying hard to make sense of the finale and I just can’t, even though I do not restrict myself to just one part of this fandom(Even though I find TJLC more fascinating )and believe me, when I love a show, I do anything to defend its perfection and yet I have not been able to defend TFP. I’m ashamed of it. And still, still, still I can’t accept it was real. Something must’ve happened, because if they had a problem with Sherlock getting together with John or anyone else, still they could’ve done it much better. I’m a person who would not have been bothered by them not becoming romantically involved and still TFP was like a nightmare to me. I just do not get how some people like it. Don’t get me wrong, everyone’s free to like what they want, it’s just that I don’t see how it is possible. Because to me, it was just soooooo corny, unrealistic and pointless. Bringing up a character and making the whole show about her, claiming everything the protagonist is now is because of her, this is just a very cheap trick and I can’t believe how such good writers would do this. What’s my y most important point? You do not have to be hardcore JohnLock shipper to be disappointed with the episode. TFP sucked in all kinds of way and as much as I love to like it I just can’t. Now my fellow scouts, if you disagree with any of my points or want to have a healthy conversation my ask is always open. My fellow TJLCers: I do not think you are wrong about TFP at all❤️ and this comes from someone who does not completely agree with all of your opinions :) you are amazing people and I love your work. I hope there is some sort of explanantion for all this because it is bugging my mind more than my heart. Again, I'm here if everyone feels like discussing things