#m&m have bor & sons

[sesamenom]

meet again at the end of time

(aka: C&C finally get their own pet edain)

some background:

(for those not following the braywashed saga) the two guys in the middle are (real, entirely human) wrestlers Elton Prince & Kit Wilson of Pretty Deadly, introduced to the silm fandom by @kitwilsonsass, and known for their uncanny resemblance to C&C in both appearance and demeanor.

As Arda is Earth, the Dagorath has not yet happened, and PD are human people who exist, it is entirely canon compliant for them to join C&C in the dagorath. Hence, CCPD alliance.

design notes:

CC

Celegorm's tattoos represent a symbol of devotion to Orome/the Hunt by imitating Orome's vala markings. Given that bows aren't the best weapon for melee fights, his primary weapon here is based on a boar spear, because I imagine similar tactics would be helpful against some of Morgoth's larger creatures. He wears the Feanorian star once on his armband and once painted on his shield (not shown).

Curufin's helm is based off the Silm description of the red-plumed helms of the Host of Feanor. His armor features one Feanorian star and the Trees (telperion not shown), and his shield bears one other star. He wears a dwarven knife (not Angrist since beren broke it) on his belt.

PD

Based on braywashed's assortment of PD outfit posts, they seem to have a light/dark color scheme, reflected here in their armor colors. Their hairstyles are based on what seems like their irl/interview-hair (aka practical hairstyle, because as unnaturally elven as they are they sadly do not have magical hair) (x). Elto's pink arrow fletchings and Kitto's blue mesh cape refer to the pink/blue matching outfit (x), while Elto's bow/quiver harness and both of their shirt colors reference the harness outfit.

Their weapons follow the opposite color scheme as their armor for contrast purposes, and weapon types (double rapiers + bow, double daggers) are based on braywashed's post here.

Both of PD's armor designs draw influence from c. 15th century English armor, seeing as they are British people, and feature a unique half-breastplate evocative of the extremely cropped sleeve shirt things they normally wear when wrestling.

edit: uploaded the wrong version (no tattoos) at first oops

[squirrelwrangler]

You official made me hate the Feanorians in behalf of the Easterlings, they genuine just used them like pawns and gave no much in return

That line about 'House Bor begin raised for war' is no different than Sauron and the orcs

As an official Fëanorian hater (some of my oldest mutuals are probably grumbling that I have emerged from my Girdle to scream), there is a long list of characters that I love that therefore fuels my hatred of Fëanor and his sons.

Ironically, because I headcanon the survival of Bór, I am creating a headcanon in which the sons of Fëanor commit a good action. That the grandchildren of Bór and some of their people survive because the sons of Fëanor go against their narrative role as destroyers of civilizations and sackers of refugees to safeguard a handful of survivors long enough so that some are able to ditch Maglor and Maedhros when the War of Wrath starts. Got to write in the margins of canon, not contradict it.

I'm a big fan of the Edain, and specifically the Bëorians and Arfinwions, so I'm not going to write those relationships as one-sided exploitation (even if privately the Haladim and Iathrim Sindar are the best). But for the Bór, it's that their warrior side wanted to be fighting for good leaders, for good causes, for something more honorable than Morgoth's ambitions and tactics. That's the betrayal that breaks Kreka. And why Bledda fighting alongside the Vanyar to liberate Dor-lómin, which includes saving the Easterlings from Morgoth, heals the deep cultural trauma that started before the People of Bór pledged to Maglor and Maedhros.

Now the comparison that truly fucks with their heads is when Bledda points out to Elrond and Elros that when happened to the twins and M&M is little different from Lorgan and Bledda's men taking Hadorim women as 'wives' and their children as slaves and the generations that grow up in Occupied Dor-lómin.

[thorraborinn]

Hey, my friend is buying an oak barrel to make mead in and is looking for something to engrave onto it. I figured you were the best person to ask: is there some nifty Old Norse or ON-adjacent quote about mead you can think of? I figured there must be something in the Eddas or some runic inscription somewhere, or maybe in Old High German or something.

Sure, Norse people talked about mead so much that this is like asking whether Norse literature has any quotes about vikings. I don't know how long a quote they want, but here's a small assortment.

This one is actually my favorite but I found it late in looking for stuff. Norwegian runic inscription B308 [link to entry on Runor] reads:

(m)ynta : (e)k : myklu o^pda^r miö^þ:ra^nci koma na^la Mynda ek miklu optar mjǫð-ranni koma náliga. 'If only I were to come near the mead-house much more often.'

Unfortunately the object itself is sort of difficult to read:

Drekkr mjöð Mímir morgun hverjan af veði Valföðrs. 'Mímir drinks mead every morning from Valföðr's wager.' -- Völuspá (stanza 28 by the normal composite edition)

drekki þó at hófi mjöð 'but drink mead in moderation' -- Hávamál 19 (maybe not the most exciting but a good reminder)

ok ek drykk of gat ins dýra mjaðar, (ausinn Óðreri) 'and I got myself a drink of that precious mead, (increased by/with Óðrerir)' -- Hávamál 140 (Óðinn talking about the mead of poetry; you could chop the ausinn Óðreri part off and still have a complete thought).

skapker fylla hon skal ins skíra mjaðar 'she shall fill a large vessel with the clear/bright mead' -- Grímnismál, talking about Heiðrún the goat, who produces mead instead of milk

The line: tak við hrímkálki / fullum forns mjaðar 'accept a crystal chalice full of ancient mead' recurs word-for-word twice in Norse mythological poems (Skírnismál and Lokasenna); in both cases the context is hostility although the line itself is aimed at assuaging that hostility

mjǫðr hegnir bǫl bragna 'mead keeps away men's misfortune' -- a line from the following, which, if your friend is very ambitious, could also be a suggestion:

Hreintjǫrnum gleðr horna — horn náir lítt at þorna — — mjǫðr hegnir bǫl bragna — bragningr skipasagnir. Fólkhǫmlu gefr framla framlyndr viðum gamlar — hinns heldr fyr skot skjǫldum — skjǫldungr hunangsǫldur.

'The prince gladdens the ships’ crews with pure lakes of horns [MEAD]; the horn is hardly able to dry out; mead keeps away men’s misfortune. The bold-minded lord, the one who holds shields before the shots, gives old honey-waves [MEAD] liberally to woods of war-rods [SWORDS > WARRIOR].'

-- Snorri Sturlusson, demonstrating the dunhent metre.

Here's another stanza of poetry, much shorter:

Nú hefk mart í miði greipat burar Bors Búra arfa.

'Now I have included many things in the mead of the son of Borr, the heir of Búri.'

-- Þorvaldr blǫnduskáld; by 'mead' here he means poetry.

Here are some kennings, either for mead specifically or for an alcoholic drink generally:

hunangsbára 'honey-wave'

hlenni ennigeira uxa 'resounding sea of the forehead-spears of oxen'

hreintjǫrn horna 'pure lake of horns'

gamlar hunangsalda 'old honey-waves'

heilsa máls 'cure of speech'

hornstraumr 'horn-stream'

vindlauss vágr geira svigðis 'windless wave of spears of the bull'

fors horna 'waterfall of horns'

ýring atgeira úra 'moisture of the halberd of aurochs'

There's loads more. If you have anything more specific you're looking for I might be able to find something with the focus narrowed.

I don't really know anything about Old High German.

[grey-gazania]

1, 11, 19 for the ask game?

@that-angry-noldo || questions for fanfic writers

1. Why do you write fanfiction?

It's fun! Fanfiction lets me explore the characters and worlds that I love in more depth than simply reading about them does. And especially for a book like The Silmarillion, where so much of what we're given in the text is more of a light sketch than a fully-realized portrait, fanfiction is an entertaining way to experiment with different character interpretations.

11. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

I write both, though I think I do write gen more often than shippy stuff. But I have a whole series about Caranthir and his wife, and multiple Fingon/Fingon's Wife and Fingon/Maedhros stories. Sometimes they're the same story, because I hate happiness.

19. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

I have so many OCs, it's not even funny. The ones I've spent the most time on are:

Parmacundë, who was my first Silmarillion OC. She's rather shy and introverted, a grade-A dweeb, and an archivist who handles government records at Tirion's royal archive. She and Caranthir meet as young apprentices (her at the archive, him at an accounting firm) and become friends and eventual spouses.

Ianneth, who has her own series and also features heavily in my Woman King AU (as she should, considering she's Gil-galad's mother). She's the daughter of Annael of Mithrim and the wife of Fingon. I love Fingon/Maedhros, but I also want Fingon to be Gil-galad's father. I'm not by an stretch of the imagination the first person to try to reconcile these things, but Ianneth was in many ways born of my frustration with the fact that, in so many stories where the M/M ship involves a het-partnered party, the feelings of the woman are completely discounted. She's ignored, or vilified, or even written out of the story altogether. I wanted to put the focus on the wife and give her a voice.

Galwen, a Nandorin/Avarin follower of the Sons of Feanor, who was saved by Amras as an adolescent from an orc attack that left her mute. I created her to be a minor antagonist in my Kidnap Fam multichap, and she proceeded to take on a life of her own and start demanding her own stories. She's a pain in my ass but I love her.

Tókhesh/Tavoreth, who is Ulfang's grandaughter and Bor's niece. She's the star of my First Age Easterlings WIP, which is the WIP that has given me the most agita in my life. She's young, but highly adept with languages, and she becomes the chief translator between Caranthir and Ulfang's people. I can't go into too much detail about her without spoiling the chapters I haven't written yet, so you'll just have to keep reading to find out more. :)

[essays-for-breakfast]

That ominous child

Since everyone seems to argue and hypothesize about the identity of King’s and Diane’s child, and Nakaba can’t be bothered to offer answers, I decided to throw my own hat into the ring. Using The Encyclopedia of Arthurian Legends - the best book EVER - I have devised a list of the ten most interesting and most likely candidates from a variety of Arthurian stories. Most of these have been named by others before, but I’ve come across a few obscure characters that might be worth considering. Five guys, five girls, here we go:

#1 Gawain

I’ve read this take a few times, but honestly, I find him to be an unlikely candidate. As Arthur’s nephew, Gawain has next to no ties to the Fairy Clan (or Faerie if you prefer the old spelling). Gawain also has a track record of becoming an antagonist to Lancelot, including his role in Le morte d’Arthur (Thomas Malory). Could a rivalry between Lancelot and his cousin work in nnt canon? Certainly, but I find it unlikely. I like Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (unknown) as much as the next guy, but I have a hard time connecting his personality with either King or Diane. There’s also Gawain’s ability that increases his strength by noon, which is the same as Escanor’s Sunshine. In short, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Gawain make an appearance in The Four Knights of the Apocalypse, but not as King’s and Diane’s child.

#2 Perceval (or Percival)

Now, this one’s interesting for two reasons: his ties to the Holy Grail and his origin. In The Story of the Grail (Chrétien de Troyes), Perceval is said to be raised in a forest by his mother, who doesn’t want him to become a knight. With Diane’s natural resentment to fighting for the sake of fighting and after what happened to Lancelot, I could see King and Diane wanting to avoid their child to follow in their footsteps and become a knight. As for the Holy Grail, which shares resemblance to the Fountain of Youth in nnt, Perceval was one of several knights who found the grail. The list includes Gawain, Bors, and Galahad, Lancelot’s son. What makes Perceval stand out among these, however, is that in a continuation of The Story of the Grail (Manessier), he is revealed to be the nephew of the Grail King and he inherits his kingdom after his death. If we consider Ban the Grail King due to his relation to the Fountain of Youth, Perceval might just be the name of his so far unidentified nephew.

#3 Bors

I heard his name being tossed around in conversation a handful of times, mostly because Bors the Younger is Lancelot’s cousin according to Malory. And while Nakaba seems to take a lot of inspiration from Malory when it comes to family relations (look no further than Tristan’s and Lancelot’s parents), in Arthurian Legends, everyone is related to everyone. In the Historia Regum Brittaniae (Geoffrey of Monmouth), Ban’s sister Ivoire is the mother of Uther Pendragon, which makes Lancelot Arthur’s uncle once removed. What I’m trying to say is, Bors is not the only one related to Lancelot. But to be fair, Bors is a Knight of the Round Table, and therefore a companion to Lancelot and Tristan. So, if King’s and Diane’s child is named Bors, it won’t be entirely out of left field.

#4 Oberon

A popular choice for a reason. Oberon is featured in a handful of Arthurian poems as king of the fairies, so he certainly has a connection to King and the Fairy Clan. The only problem I see is that Kings child, no matter who they are, would likely not succeed him as Fairy King. The Sacred Tree makes that choice. Regardless, while Oberon might never be the Fourth Fairy King, he could feature as first prince of the Fairy Clan.

#5 Galehaut

An interesting side character of Le morte d’Arthur (Malory). Why? Because his mother was the giantess Bagota, which makes him a canonical hybrid. His title as ‘the high prince’ would also fit his identity as King’s and Diane’s child. And as a final bonus, Galehaut is a firm friend of Lancelot and through him became a Knight of the Round Table.

#6 Morgan Le Fay

My personal favorite. While she is Arthur’s half-sister in most stories, when she appeared in Vita Merlini (Geoffrey), there is no mention of her blood relation to Arthur. Instead she is said to fly with wings and be able to change her form. Sounds like another Fairy we know, doesn’t it? Morgan learned magic from Merlin, and since the nnt versions of Lancelot and Tristan seem to focus more on physical rather than magical combat, I think it would be nice if King’s and Diane’s child filled that gap. What’s also worth noting about Morgan is her connection to the Fairy King Hellekin, who in Italian romances became better known as Harlequin. In Li Jus Adan (Adam de la Halle), Hellekin is the lover of Morgan Le Fay, and while that sounds weird as an argument in favor of her being King’s daughter in nnt, Nakaba could always ignore this detail. Or Morgan will be the real name of the Lady of the Lake, who knows at this point.

#7 Nimue

Some sources such as Myths of Britain (M. Senior) argue that Nimue is a variant of Vivian, and that they are the same character. Both are typically identified as a Lady of the Lake. Nnt already has a Vivian, and the way she kidnaps Gil and obsesses over him bears resemblance to what Nimue does to Merlin in Le morte d’Arthur (Malory). Then why did I include Nimue? Because Nimue/Vivian is the the granddaughter of the goddess of the wood, who, in the prose of Vulgate Version (unknown), is named Diane.

#8 Iseult (or Isolde)

This one only works if Kiane’s daughter will have a romance with Tristan. I’m not saying that is impossible, but how often does it happen that the the children of friends fall in love? It’s a nice trope, but if King’s and Diane’s daughter were named Iseult, her fate would be a little too predictable. And I guess this would also mean that the Fairy Realm is the equivalent of Ireland... so it works perfectly!

#9 Caelia

My wild card. She is only featured in one work, as far as I know, A Collection of Early English Prose Poems (edit. W.J. Thomas). Caelia is here the Fairy Queen and the lover of Arthur’s illegitimate son, Tom a’Lincoln. So, if Arthur already has a child at the beginning of the sequel, and if said child is in need of a love interest, King’s and Diane’s daughter might just fit the bill. Let’s just hope that nnt Caelia won’t drown herself.

#10 Laudine

Last one, this post is already longer than it has any right to be. In The Knight with the Lion (Chrétien), Laudine is the lady of a magical fountain in the forest of Broceliande. This creates a nice connection to Elaine, doesn’t it? And if the Fairy King’s Forest will somehow find a new Fountain of Youth, perhaps King’s and Diane’s daughter will guard this new fountain, just like Lancelot guarded Benwick in his father’s place. Laudine later became the wife of Owain (or Ywain), another Knight of the Round Table and Arthur’s nephew.

...

Or Nakaba messes with us and picks a random name out of a hat to assign to King’s and Diane’s ominous child.

[blackypanther9]

Part 57 - A little help

"Not possible...", you mumbled in utter shock.

"What is it ? What do you see, that I clearly can't see ?", Loki asked irritated.

You told Loki the spell and he repeated it. Then he saw the ghost too and gasped in utter shock.

"Why didn't we see him before ?!", Loki asked in panic.

"Spirits are very hard to see in the world of the living. This spell gives us sight into the spiritual world. With other words he is a ghost.", you answered.

In front of you stood a black ghost, with the shape of a man. He had red eyes, staring at you and Loki with anger and rage.

"He doesn't look happy...", Loki murmured to you.

"Shut up, Loki Laufeyson !", you yelled at Loki, knowing that he wanted to run away with you.

Loki went stiff and looked at you hurt.

"Hey...", he said offended.

"Laufey....son...?", the ghost asked.

You and Loki jumped at that. You recognized that voice.

"L...Loki ? King Loki Borson ? Is that you ?", you asked unsure.

The dark ghost nodded slowly.

"Do you remember me ? General Destiny Andrea Dust ?", you asked him again.

The ghost's eyes showed more anger and rage at the mention of your name. He flew in front of you in barely a second and pointed a dark finger at your chest.

"Left....betrayed....me !", he hissed out.

You looked at him in utter shock.

"Wait. What ? How did I ever betray and leave you ?"

"You let m-me DIE !", the ghost yelled.

You stared at him in shock.

"You didn't know ? I was with Laufey and didn't know that you needed my help. Odin sent me away and you were nowhere to be found anyway. I didn't want to accidently tear you into trouble."

The red eyes widened in shock.

"What ?"

"I never intended to let you die. I never knew that you needed me."

Borson must have calmed down. He wasn't looking angered anymore. He looked down and crossed his arms over his chest. Then he looked back up at you.

"What do you need ?", he asked calmer.

"I need the map to find my long lost helmet and the Magical book of death. Can you help me, please ?"

"For what ?"

"For returning you. We need you back. Odin erased and tempered with all of our memories. No one remembers you. Hela is banished and as soon as Odin dies she will return and cause Ragnarok upon Asgard. Jotunheim and all the other Realms are against Asgard. I need your help here and we need to undo the spell Odin caused upon all the Nine Realms. I need the Magical book of the Undead."

"How did you remember then ?"

"I died once in Jotunheim, saving Loki's life as an infant and sadly tore him and Laufey apart. It was the only way. I returned as a reborn Baby and had no memories of my passed lives, until recently. Then I found more locked away memories and got them free, remembering more things than I ever did before. Then the spell was broken on me and I found out about tempered memories, you, Baldr, Odin, everything. Not everything is again in place, but it will come back with time."

Borson nodded in understanding.

"I believe I understood your short explanation...And that is Laufey's son, Loki ?"

"Yes. Frigga chose that name with me. I believe I took that name, because I distinctly remembered your name..."

"A little reminder of me then ?"

"Yes. I think it helped me remember too and break the spell...Odin doesn't know for now, but he was on the hunt for the books. I gave Loki one of them."

Borson smiled.

"The Magical book of Illusions and summoning.", he said.

"How did you...?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I watched you some times."

You nodded.

"Follow me...I know where the map is.", Borson told them then.

With that he flew through the halls and you and Loki ran after him. Soon Borson flew through a door and into a room.

"I can't believe it...", you mumbled.

"What ?", Loki asked.

"I gave it to Loki Borson...."

Loki now laughed.

"I told you !"

"Shush you..."

You pushed the door open and entered the room. Borson pointed at a picture of him, Baldr, Bor and their dead Mother with you in it.

"Destroy the frame.", Borson said.

The frame was very beautiful.

(Belongs to rightful owner !!)

You took it and looked at Borson. He nodded at you and you took a deep breath. Then threw it at the floor with all your might and the glass broke, making cracking and clattering sounds. You pulled out the picture, carefully and then found an old parchment paper, folded nicely.

You unfolded it.

(Just so you know how it was folded.)

Soon you saw green, blue and a red X on the map. You saw Cold Heart and a line that led you directly to the position of the red X.

"Great ! Now we need to hurry to that place !", you cheered.

You looked up and looked at the ghost.

"Thank you Loki Borson."

"No problem. Now hurry off and do what you have to. We will meet again in my...'grave'..."

You nodded, grabbed Loki's hand and ran out of the Palace.

"Jump on your horse ! We have work to do Loki !"

With that they mounted their horses again and then rode off.

Part 58

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !  

[kaiser-dracon]

References of Arthurian Legends in Tales of Berseria 1st part, Character Names:

This is one of the multi-posts that will give you insights into where the inspirations came from (For both Namco Bandai team and my story). Some of them were obvious and some of them were not:

Claudin Asgard  (クローディン・アスガード) 

King Claudas is a fictional Frankish king and an opponent to King Arthur, Lancelot, and Bors in Arthurian literature. (In Berseria, Claudin was Arthur’s mentor and father figure. In my story, the role of being his adversary was given to his son, Avernus, and will be continued in the future stories)

Asgard is the realm of the Nine Worlds surrounding the tree Yggdrasil. In Norse Mythology, Asgard is a fortified home to the Aesir tribe of gods located in the sky.

Artorius Collbrande (アルトリウス・コールブランド) 

Artorius, better known in legend as King Arthur, was a leader of ancient Britons who ruled as High King from his fortress at Camlann in the region of Logres that would become Somerset with Gwenhynfar as his queen. Artorius was the son of Uther, uncle of Modred and half-brother to Morgana. 

A Roman military commander and historical figure by the name of  Lucius Artorius Castus (fl. 2nd century AD) is said to be the base of King Arthur’s legend.

Magilou Mayvin (Majigigika Myrddin d’Din Norrun Du (マジギギカ・ミルディン・ド・ディン・ノルルン・ドゥ ) and Melchior Mayvin ( メルキオル・メーヴィン)

Merlin (Welsh: Myrddin, Cornish: Marzhin, Breton: Merzhin) is a legendary figure who was a wizard that helped King Arthur. The name "Merlin" is derived from the Welsh Myrddin, the bard’s name, one of the chief sources for the later legendary figure.

In Berseria, both Magilou and Melchior’s characters were based on Merlin.

Percival Il Mid Asgard (パーシバル・イル・ミッド・アスガード) 

Percival is one of King Arthur's legendary Knights of the Round Table. First made famous by the French author Chretien de Troyes in the tale Perceval, the Story of the Grail, he is best known for being the original hero in the Grail’s quest, before being replaced in later English and French literature by Galahad.

Van Aifread (バン・アイフリード) 

Ban (Van) is the King of Benwick or Benoic in Arthurian legend. First appearing by this name in the Lancelot proper part of the Vulgate Cycle, he is Sir Lancelot’s father and Sir Hector de Maris, the brother of King Bors, and an early ally of King Arthur. 

Benwick (ベンウイック) 

The kingdom which Ban ruled.

House of Dragonia (ドラゴニア)

Based on Lancelot Dragoina, he is one of the Knights of the Round Table in Arthurian legend. He is typically depicted as King Arthur's greatest companion and one of his greatest knights. According to legend, Lancelot is the orphaned son of King Ban of Benwick, raised in the fairy realm by the Lady of the Lake. He then becomes the lord of Joyous Gard, the greatest swordsman and jouster as the knight with the most martial prowess of the age. When his adulterous affair with Queen Guinevere is discovered, it causes a civil war that is exploited by Mordred to end Arthur's kingdom.

In the upcoming ABX2, Lancelot Dragonia is the sworn enemy and nemesis of Avernus, following the discovery of his brother and sister’s cause of death.

The Hyland Kingdom (ハイランド家)

Said to be the site of one of King Arthur’s Twelve Battles, the Caledonian Forest in Scotland was apparently bewitched into a moving army of trees. Estimated to have once covered thousands of square miles, the remnants that exist today are the ancient descendants of this spectacular forest. 

Lohengrin (ローグリン家) 

The son of Percival, he is a knight of the Holy Grail sent in a boat pulled by swans to rescue a maiden who can never ask his identity.

Velvet Crowe  (ベルベット・クラウ)

One of her Welsh/Celtic inspirations are as follows (I had a long and interesting conversation with someone who didn’t accept that Velvet’s character was inspired by Morgan):

Morgan Le Fay (Morgana)  Arthur’s half-sister, the daughter of Arthur’s mother Igraine and her first husband, the Duke of Cornwall. She is also presented as an adversary of Arthur’s: she gives Excalibur (Caliburn) to her lover Accolon so he can use it against King Arthur (a story retold in Madison J. Cawein’s poem Accolon of Gaul). Morgan is said to be the first of nine sisters who rule The Fortunate Isle or the Isle of Apples and is presented as a healer and a shape-changer. 

Velvet Crowe’s other characteristics related to Morgan:

Velvet is considered to be Arthur’s sister, and later is his adversary.

Morgan’s outfit is said to be velvet and chiffon, usually in red and black.

Aball, Village of Longing (郷愁誘う村 アバル) means Avalon or the Island of Apples. The place which is home to Morgan. In Berseria, it is Velvet’s home.

Crow is Morgan’s bird signature. 

Morgan is famously known for being a sorceress and witch, but Velvet doesn’t carry those traits.

P.S. inspired and based on doesn’t mean you have to copy the character entirely. Like Meliodas from 7 deadly sins inspired by King Meliodas and Arthurian legend, and everyone knows it. It doesn’t mean that King Meliodas had to be Dragon’s Sin of Wrath in Arthurian legend.

If some of you still don’t see the connection and don’t want to, it’s your choice. Don’t scream and yell that “No, I see Thanos in Velvet.” Good on you, but it doesn’t change the fact that Morgan’s roles inspired her in Arthurian legends.

 Learn your lessons and be open to learning.

Also, about ABX2, yeah. It might happen, and it will definitely be an M-Rated story since the plot is entirely original. I will wait and see if enough readers are interested before I begin.

[loserslibrary]

pairing: Bill Denbrough & Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon [Hanbrough], Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier [Reddie] written by: Diana rating: Teen word count: 1,594 prompt: Hi!!!! This is such a cool idea I’m excited to see what you guys come up with it! Can I get some adult losers, like married with kids maybe? Specifically Reddie and Hanbrough if possible

“Oh, thank fucking God!” Bill cried in relief as he scrambled to the front door. He opened it to reveal Richie and Eddie, the latter of which was holding their adorable daughter. “I thought you two would never get here!”

Eddie gave him a sharp look and shushed him as he made his way into the Hanlon house. “I just got her to sleep on the way here.” he whispered as he sat himself down on the couch, covering his daughter’s ear with his hand. “Do not wake my daughter up Bill- not unless you want to face the wrath of a cranky three year old.”

“Sorry, my bad!” Bill whispered back before adding, “Do you wanna go lay her down with Ellie? Mike’s reading her a book, trying to get her to fall asleep.”

“Is he reading her the ending of one of your books?” Richie teased. He smirked at the annoyed look Bill shot him. “Sorry, dude, as one of your best friends, I’m obligated to tell you the truth. Your books are bor—OW EDS!”

Eddie elbowed him, stopping Richie from finishing his sentence. As their daughter began to stir, Eddie elbowed him again and hissed, “Shut up, Richard! If Alex wakes up, I’m making you put her back to sleep.”

Richie rubbed at his side as he nodded his head solemnly. “I would rather not. You know I hate to see her cry.”

Eddie smiled at this, his angry face going soft. “Yeah, and she knows how to take advantage of that.”

“Okay... not that I don’t like a cute domestic moment,” Bill began, interrupting their conversation, “but I asked you guys over for dinner for a reason.”

Richie and Eddie exchanged a glance before looking back over at Bill. “What’s up?” Eddie asked at the same time that Richie said, “Are you two getting divorced?”

Bill just stared at Richie with wide eyes, unable to process what he had just asked. “Wha—NO! We’re not getting divorced...W-Why would you even ask that?”

“Sorry, I don’t know man.” Richie shrugged, not looking apologetic in the slightest. “Your tone was kind of serious. And we all know Mike’s too good for you anywa—OOF”

“That’s it! Get out of here, Rich.” Eddie said as he elbowed Richie again. He handed their daughter over to him. “Go take her to Ellie’s room with Mike.”

“Aww but Eds,” Richie whined as he complied and accepted Alex into his arms, “I wanna hear the hot gossip!”

“You can find out later,” Eddie said with a roll of his eyes. He pointed towards the hallway leading to the rooms. “You know I tell you everything anyway.”

Richie smiled and leaned over to give Eddie a quick kiss on the cheek before getting up. “You sure do. I have all the dirt on all our friends because of you, my love.”

“God, get a room.” Bill said and pretended to gag as Richie left the room. “You two are disgustingly sweet. I can’t stand it.”

Eddie laughed and leaned back into the couch and crossed his right leg over his left. “Says the forty year old man that cried just last week when Mike came home with—”

“Ok, ok, yeah I get it!” Bill lifted a hand to stop Eddie from continuing. “We’re all fools madly in love with our husbands. Can I just tell you what I have to say?”

“Alright,” Eddie said as he crossed his arms. “I’m all ears.”

“Well, Mike and I…” Bill hesitated, unsure of how to begin. “Listen, this is...this is beyond us. We’re going to need back up. I just don’t know how we’re going to handle this!”

Eddie gave him a puzzled look, trying to understand what Bill was saying. He watched Bill gesture wildly for a couple more moments before he reached over to stop his arms from continuing to move. “Alright, enough. What the fuck are you talking about, Bill? You’re kind of scaring me.”

“I just...We really need help, Eddie.” Bill pleaded. “We have no idea what the fuck we’re doing.”

Eddie sighed in frustration.. “Help with what Bill? Come on man, spit it out! I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

“Ellie! What else?” Bill groaned. “Am I not making myself clear?”

“Uh...no??” Eddie looked at him as if he’d grown two heads. “Literally nothing you’ve said has made any sense?? It literally sounded like you were trying to tell me you and Mike were having issues…”

“No! Mike and I are fine. We’re great, actually.” Bill assured him. “It’s just… this whole parenting thing is even harder than we had expected.. Ellie’s our first child, and I don’t want to fuck this up! You know how it was growing up for me, Eddie.”

Eddie watched him worriedly and motioned for him to continue. If Bill needed him to listen, then that was exactly what he would do.

“M-my parents sucked.” Bill said as he choked back a sob. “I mean... my own father hit me with his fucking car and then barely batted an eye. I’m terrified that I’ll fuck this up, Eddie. I don’t want to be a bad father, I want Ellie to have all the love and attention that Georgie and I never got growing up. You and Rich have two adorable daughters that have everything they could ever want...That’s what I want for Ellie. Please, Eddie, tell me how to be a good father.”

“Jesus, Bill…” Eddie wiped a tear from his cheek as he placed a comforting hand on his friend’s back. “Listen…”

Eddie paused and tried to find the right words to say. Bill was right; his parents had been neglectful towards him and his brother growing up, but that didn’t mean Bill would be the same. Why would he be the same? Eddie could see just how worried Bill was about being a father, and he understood. He and Richie had been the same way when they brought home their first daughter, Emma.

Eddie had been scared of smothering her like his mother had done to him. He had even been too scared to hold her at first, worried that he would somehow harm the fragile human being he was now tasked with protecting. Richie had talked him through it, he’d patiently coaxed Eddie into holding her gently in his arms. Now, Eddie was more than happy with the family he had, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

He wanted that for Bill, too. He wanted Bill to see that his experience as a father would be nothing like his experience as a son. Bill was scared, and considering his childhood, it was a completely valid feeling. But Bill had a good heart, and he clearly cared so much about his daughter; he had what his parents lacked—an interest in the well being of his child.

“Listen, Billy...” Eddie said softly while he rubbed soothing circles on Bill’s back. “The fact that you’re even worried about fucking up shows just how different you are from your parents. You would NEVER in a million years neglect your daughter the way your parents neglected you and your brother.”

“Yeah but—“

“If it’s actually parenting tips you need, I’m here for you.” Eddie continued, not letting Bill protest. “I’ve got some nice, healthy recipes I can pass on to you that will trick Ellie into eating her veggies without a fuss. I can send you links to some nice classical music playlists for kids that’ll have her knocked out in no time. You’re bound to mess up, but not the way you think you will. You AND Mike have got this. We’re here for you. Hell, you took care of Georgie by yourself for years. There’s really no reason for you to be worried about messing up, you’re more than capable of taking care of Ellie.”

“Thanks Eddie,” Bill smiled at him, leaning over to rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “Mike’s been telling me we have nothing to worry about, that being a new parent is a process. I just...I guess I needed to hear it from an experienced parent that I’m not doing something wrong. I love Mikey, but that man can’t change a diaper to save his life. I’ve been so worried about Ellie getting diaper rash that—Why are you laughing?”

“Oh, it’s just—” he burst into more laughter now. “God, Bill, you sound just like me when we first became parents. This is literally...like this is literally step two of becoming a parent. Step one is the giddiness, the excitement of having a child. Step two is when the panic sets in. Trust me, you’ll get over it and before you know it, you’ll be on step three: relief.”

“Can’t wait for that.” Bill sighed and dreamed of the day he wouldn’t feel anxiety over being the caretaker of a small and vulnerable human being. Eddie was right though, he had taken care of Georgie for years all by himself. He could do this, he just needed someone to reassure him.

“You’ll get there soon.” Eddie assured him as he patted him on the back before standing up. He motioned towards where he had sent Richie. “Now, let’s go check on our husbands. This is the first dinner out we’ve had in weeks and I don’t trust Richie not to ruin it by waking up Alex or preventing your daughter from falling asleep with his Voices that, for some reason, all the kids fucking love.”

[dreamings-free]

How Harry Styles Became A Modern Style Icon

by Phoe­be Luck­hurst - Evening Standard 15/11/19

A man wrought in the fires of teenage boy­band hy­per-stardom is not afraid of a lit­tle commotion. Still when Harry Styles — the One Di­rec­tion mat­inée idol turned lan­guid Gen Z icon — tweeted, at 1.01 pm GMT on Wed­nes­day af­ter­noon, that he would be tak­ing his up­com­ing album Fine Line on tour, you could, if at­tuned to the cor­rect de­mo­graphic fre­quency, hear the howl echo around the in­ter­net: gut­tural, hun­gry, ul­u­lat­ing. This was a pseudo-re­li­gious experience: one vi­ral meme de­picted the Pope hold­ing a copy of his al­bum aloft. The announce­ment has been retweeted al­most 70,000 times.

The 25-year old is a tour vet­eran — he spent five years and five al­bums strapped to the thunder­ing 1D jug­ger­naut — but this new tour is his first as a bona fide solo brand. The al­bum, his first in two years, is synth-soaked and soul­ful, the al­bum’s aes­thetic fever­-dreamy. Granted, he’s not the first per­son to go to So­Cal, try a few magic mush­rooms and de­clare him­self radically trans­formed, but the re­sults are be­guil­ing — and cer­tainly a world away from his years as a Simon Cow­ell Ken doll. Since his last record, he has co- hosted t he Met Gala and been reborn as an Alessan­dro Michele muse. This is your Styles crib sheet.

Melody maker

Styles’s new al­bum — writ­ten un­der a tie-dye mist af­ter tak­ing the afore­men­tioned psychedelics, which also re­sulted in a mishap in which he bit off the tip of his tongue — is “all about hav­ing sex and feel­ing sad”, which, granted, as a topline, does not wildly dif­fer­en­ti­ate the record from the genre of “al l other mu­sic ever”. Still, the early signs for Fine Line are encouraging. Its first sin­gle, Lights Up—which has been streamed al­most 100 mil­lion times on Spo­tify —is­ synth-y, soul­ful, un­der­stat­edly an­themic, very dif­fer­ent to, and bet­ter than, the lead sin­gle on his last solo record, the Seven­ties, soft-rock Sign of the Times( it still, of course, hit No 1), and very, very dif­fer­ent from any­thing he did with 1D. Many thou­sands of words have been writ­ten about whether there is a bi­sex­ual sub­text to Lights Up. It has been noted that the song was re­leased on Na­tional Com­ing Out Day, that Styles’s sex­u­al­ity has been sub­ject to fren­zied specu­la­tion be­fore, the video fea­tures an oiled-up, top­less Styles gy­rat­ing around men and women, and that the lyrics (“Shine, I’m not ever go­ing back/ Shine, step into the light”) could be in­ter­preted as a mean­ing­ful rev­e­la­tion of sorts. Cer­tainly, he has be­come a queer icon — especially with Gen Z — who are thrilled by his se­lec­tion of gen­derqueer singer-song­writer King Princess as his sup­port act for the Euro­pean part of his tour. Speak­ing of col­lab­o­ra­tors, Styles worked on the al­bum with pro­duc­ers Tyler John­son, who has worked with Tay­lor Swift, Mi­ley Cyrus and Ed Sheeran, and Jeff Bhasker, who has collabo­rated wit h Mark Ron­son and Kanye West, and his friend, Tom Hull, aka Kid Har­poon, who co-wrote Shake It Out for Florence + The Ma­chine. He has also been granted a fairy god­mother: Ste­vie Nicks, who called him her “lit­tle muse” at Fleetwood Mac’s hyped Wembley head­line gig i n J une. “S he’s a l ways there for you,” Styles has said in the past. “She knows what you need: ad­vice, a lit­tle wis­dom, a blouse, a shawl.” Sure.

Got Styles

Any young man raised in the white heat of a boy­band spot­light must be granted the space to find his fash­ion path; Styles has done so with no mis­steps and ex­u­ber­ant plea­sure. Once upon a time, he would sem­a­phore his in­di­vid­u­al­ity with a ban­dana; now, he turns up to a cover interview with Rolling Stone in a white floppy hat, blue denim bell-bot­toms and Gucci shades, his nails coloured pink and green. His favourite trousers, un­til he lost them on the beach, were a pair of mus­tard cor­duroy flares; this week, he wore a Lan­vin sweater vest with a sheep de­sign that sent a co­terie of Lon­don menswear stylists into throes of ec­stasy. He wears flo­ral suits and Cuban heels, ruf­fled, New Ro­man­tic shirts, Charles Jef­frey jump­suits and pussy- bow blouses. It is flam­boy­ant, self-con­sciously Bowie/Jag­ger, and in Gen Z par­lance, “very ex­tra”. His stylist Harry Lam­bert is par­tial to an ex­trav­a­gant col­lar, dra­matic neck­line and a vo­lu­mi­nous trouser.

Be­sides Lam­bert, an­other part of this evo­lu­tion has been his re­la­tion­ship with Gucci’s cre­ative di­rec­tor Michele, who has turned the Ital­ian her­itage brand into the ul­ti­mate post-gen­der lux­ury fash­ion la­bel, the first to merge their menswear and wom­enswear, and dis­patch male mod­els down the cat­walk in dresses and women in suits. A good look for a Gen Z idol.

With the brand

Notably, the brand­ing on this al­bum and its tour art­work is con­sis­tent with this new look Styles. The al­bum cover fea­tures Styles i n white cus­tom- made Gucci bell bot­toms and a Pep­to Bismol-pink shirt, open al­most to the waist, shot by mod-goth Tim Walker with a fish­eye lens (it is Walker’s hand in that S&M glove you can see in the left-hand cor­ner). In the dreamy video for Lights Up he wears a glit­tery suit and sus­penders, in a sort of hal­lu­ci­na­tory ver­sion of Satur­day Night Fever. Into it.

Stand up

Then there’s his voice — not the mu­sic, but the ac­tivism. Even as one-fifth of a boy­band manufac­tured by Cow­ell’s al­go­rithm, he was quick, quippy and itch­ing to go off-mes­sage; but now that he con­trols his own, he is am­pli­fy­ing causes such as Black Lives Mat­ter and End Gun Violence. He wore stick­ers for both on his gui­tar on his last tour, which might sound small, except that photographs of Styles gal­lop around the dig­i­tal world at hy­per­speed. At con­certs, he has waved pride, bi and trans flags, and a Black Lives Mat­ter flag. He once bor­rowed a flag from an au­di­ence mem­ber at a show in Philadel­phia that read, “Make Amer­ica Gay Again”. At a show on his last tour, he de­clared: “If you are black, if you are white, if you are gay, if you are straight, if you are trans­gen­der — who­ever you are, who­ever you want to be, I sup­port you.”

A vo­cal, en­gaged fan­dom of teenage girls minted his mul­ti­mil­lion-pound for­tune; he is loyal and ad­mir­ing of their zeal. “They’re the most hon­est — es­pe­cially if you’re talk­ing about teenage girls, but older as well,” he told Rolling Stone this sum­mer. “They have that bull­shit de­tec­tor. We’re so past that dumb out­dated nar­ra­tive of ‘Oh, these peo­ple are girls, so they don’t know what they’re talk­ing about.’ They’re the ones who know what they’re talk­ing about. They’re the peo­ple who lis­ten ob­ses­sively. They f***ing own this shit. They’re run­ning it.” Ob­vi­ously, he’s a fem­i­nist. “Of course men and women should be equal. I don’t want credit for be­ing a fem­i­nist. I think the ideals of fem­i­nism are pretty straight­for­ward.” An icon is born.

[absolxguardian]

High Noon Over Camelot Family Tree

I recently put together a family tree for all of the named characters in High Noon Over Camelot, drawing from the Arthurian Mythos. As you can see, it creates a lot of soap-opera like opportunities to write fanfiction for, which you’re all welcome to use my tree as a basis. And in true Mechanisms fashion, feel free to genderbent as many characters as you’d like. I kept the genders each character had in the original myths just to limit the number of creative decisions I’d have to make. Under the cut I have close-ups of each individual family and I explain my thought process behind a lot of my decisions. This is also supposed to be a non-conclusive family tree, so don’t feel bad adding extra siblings if you base a fic on my tree.

But, first the key. I separated biological and adopted children just so I could demonstrate all of their parents. That way, Mordred would be connected to both Aurthur and Morgan. I also used m., which usually stands in for married, because trying to depict a three way polycule in a traditional family tree is basically impossible. I only included unknown parents in the case where only one parent is known, usually the mother, because old-timey genealogies are like that.

I turned the titles people had in the mythos into either cities they were sheriffs of, or gangs they led.

The GRAIL Dynasty

The Grail Dynasty was a concept in the original mythos, giving the descendants of Joseph of Arimathea a magical chosen-oneness to it. I’ve decided to keep the concept, but continuing HNOC’s themes, it means nothing. The cousins, Galahad and Percival are shot down by the defensive turrets.

The Corbenics are a gang named after the Fisher King’s castle. Fulfilling his role as “Lancelot but cooler”, Galahad was Lancelot’s unknown son by the Fisher King’s (Pelles) daughter, Elaine of Corbenic. But it felt weird putting Galahad in Morded’s generation, instead of Arthur’s. But since Elaine of Corbenic has so many alternate names, I just chose two of them- Amite and Perevida, to be Galahad’s two moms. A traveling gunslinger, Perevida impressed her father-in-law, and received the mantle of leadership from Pelles, which his two daughters had no interest in. Either Amite or Perevida is trans, or Galahad is actually adopted by them.

Pelles’ other daughter, Pellinore, from “Pellinore and the Beast”, is the mother of Percival, one of the knights mentioned as being on the GRAIL quest, and died charging the gun turrets.

Pendragon (Family Name)

(The tree specifies family name, because the gang Arthur led before becoming sheriff was also called the Pendragons.)

Arthur’s father, Uther, is the Sheriff of Britannia. I Will Rule this Town is unclear if Uther was once the sheriff of Camelot, but it seems pretty heavily implied he ruled something. So I gave him another town to rule, which fell apart when the Lady of the Lake seized the water supplies.

Because Mordred was originally Arthur’s nephew (and Morgause his mother), that generation collapsed. Ygraine is already established to be Mordred’s biological mother. Anna is an alternate name for Ygraine, so that’s who I made Arthur’s mother.

Saxons

And so onto a limited Saxon family tree. This information comes from The Wake. We know Uren is Ywan’s father, although Garet’s father is unknown. But since Lot is a known mate of Morgan, I just took the simplest route. King Lot and King Uren are Arthurian Mythos characters, but they connect to the wider family tree. It doesn’t seem like the Saxons and Britons (surface-dwellers) would have intermarried that much, so I didn’t give Lot and Uren a parentage. 

Tintagel 

Before she bore Arthur’s child, Ygraine was the wife of Gorlois Tintagel, with whom she had Gawain (hence why Mordred calls Gawain brother in “Peacemaker”). I’m just going to ignore all the stuff about how Uthur got Ygraine as his wife from Gorlois, because it’s very Dark Ages. But to keep Uther’s vassal of Gorlois in the story, when he led the gang, the Cornwall Gang was an ally of Uther’s, as Britiania began to fall. Gorlois of Tintagel was the Duke of Cornwall, but the mythos has another king identified with ruling Cornwall.

Cameliard

Leodegrance, the King of Cameliard is identified by modern scholars as ruling Cornwall. Now the generation switch regarding Ygraine likely switched the order of succession, Golrois usurping Leodegrance as the leader of the Cornwall Gang is consistent with the precarious position Guinevere and her brother find themselves in The Fastest Shot. While present in the story, Gote isn’t an actual mythos character. Guinevere does have the sister Gwenhwyfach (no one ever got around to un-Welshing her name), but since she doesn’t appear in Fastest Shot, I didn’t include her. But it would be possible for an author to get her out of the way before that story takes place.

When Leodegrance ruled the Cornwall Gang, it was still an ally of Uther and Britiania, although Uther didn’t intervene in Gorlois’ usurpation.

Wales Sector Alliance

This strangely intermarried family is called the Wales Sector Alliance because the kingdoms of Gaunnes and Benwick are likely both corruptions of Welsh Kingdoms. Ban was the Sheriff of Benwick, while his brother, Bors the Elder led the Gaunnes- a group of bandits responsible for protecting Benwick. Their marriage to the sisters Elaine and Evaine probably did something to secure their power in the region. 

Unfortunately, the alliance was overrun by Claudas’ Frankish bandits, but Ban’s son Lancelot and Bors’ sons Bors the Younger and Lionel were found and adopted by the Lady of the Lake after the death of their parents.

Wards of the Lady of the Lake

Likely in addition to other orphans the Lady of the Lake found, Lancelot Bors the Younger and Lionel were raised and mentored by the mysterious bandit Queen (as in the mythos). Thankfully, Lancelot and his adoptive brothers/cousins reached adulthood and set off on their own paths before Arthur killed The Lady. That would be a pretty awkward conversation to have, so I think Lancelot probably doesn’t know which specific bandit his lover got his .x calibre railgun from.

And just like Galahad losing his cousin Percival, Lancelot also lost his brother/cousin Bors in the GRAIL quest, some nice extra tragedy for people to work with. The Mechanisms just didn’t have the time to depict their reactions.

The Stone Clan

Other than the Sword in the Stone reference, I couldn’t find anything in the Arthurian Mythos that Lavinia was based on. So I arranged the members of the Stone Clan on a whim. It’s basically an insert, so I didn’t have to align it with the generation rows of the rest of the tree. 

There is a Lavinia in the Aeneid, as one of Aeneas’ wives, so I made one of her husbands Aeneas. I do have a headcanon connecting HNOC and UDAD, but this isn’t a place. And even under it, this still isn’t the Aeneas (just as all her kids aren’t the biblical characters they’re named after). 

Well there they all are. I would be ecstatic if someone used my family tree as a basis for a fic, so please do send me a link to it if someone makes it. Also let me know if you have any questions or something you’d like me to expand upon.

[fairestfall]

@shirebxrn​​

        Many outsiders might have expected the ruler of the Bor-dagrim to maintain power through fear and intimidation. Indeed, other clans and nations have long whispered amongst themselves about the ancient sorcerer, who could summon storms and drive men mad with a single glance. However, if one were to actually visit the unbowed clan, they would see a much different figure. Though tall and fell in appearance, she was quick to smile, and rather than wait for the newest turncoats to arrive and be brought to her cave, she stood along the road with others, mainly the young and curious. A sproglet straddled her shoulders, gleefully playing with wild black curls, and she held another on her hip so that they could better see the arriving caravan. 

There were members of their clan, who were quickly embraced by worried shaûk and offspring, and then there were those who had been rescued, still bearing shoddily-made armor bearing the Eye. They were quickly seen to by her priests and healers. And then there was the one she had been waiting for.  She gently set the little ones down and then rushed towards the front of the throng, where a young hobbit stood, surrounded by his brothers and sisters. It was her son in all but blood. 

“Bilbo!” she cried as she knelt to embrace him. Thank Rukhash he was alive. This wasn’t to say that she doubted his capability, but his late missive on the pass through western Rhún had her worried. Clawed digits tenderly brushed through curls as she kissed his forehead. 

“You’ve brought back so many. Nearly twice as much as last time. You bring us all honor, dagalush-izub.” 

[raitrolling]

=> This party has started to wind down by now, but you don’t have any intention of leaving any time soon. There’s still people to talk to, desserts to nibble at, and most importantly, a full bottle of white wine on the table you have no intention of sharing with anyone. You’ve been parked in this spot just off to the side of the main ballroom for practically the entire night, inviting anyone making their way over to the nearby dessert table or the bar for conversation. You tend to be a fairly popular person at these sorts of events, albeit only because you attend so many most people find you to be a familiar face. Unfortunately, the host decided it would be a novel idea to allow all castes to attend such a high-class event, so you’ve been trying to avoid the gaze of anyone below blue. God knows what kind of boring gossip the lowerbloods would have, no caste has drama and politics quite like your seadwelling brethren. 

=> As you sip at your wine (no one ask how many you’ve drank tonight, but you don’t show any signs of being affected by the alcohol), you lock eyes with someone you don’t think you’ve met before. Perhaps they’re a newbie to highblood socialite life, or perhaps they’ve somehow avoided your radar for so long. You give them a cheerful, welcoming smile as they get closer to your table, that kind of smile that seems friendly by gesture but not so much by intention.

ʌɅʌ My, what do we have here? Some fresh meat haplessly wander||ng ||nto the shark’s den? Goodness, ||f you’re go||ng to look th||s out of place the host m||ght th||nk you’re a party crasher! Although, that would certa||nly l||ven up th||s jo||nt, these part||es get awfully bor||ng when we’re reduced to once aga||n secretly po||son||ng the food ||n hope to get some enterta||nment. ʌɅʌ

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

By the Candlelight

31 Days of Ficmas, Day 10 - candles.  @doctorroseprompts

31 Days of Ficmas masterlist

Rose and the Doctor, 1533.  Greenwich Palace.

4k of PWP  (M rating)

AO3

They let the chambermaid lead them to a suite of rooms, waiting until she stoked the fire, curtseyed, and closed the door behind her to relax.

“Well, this is something,” the Doctor commented idly, throwing himself on the mattress before bouncing right back up on his feet.  Pulling out the sonic he scanned the bed, after a moment giving a nod of satisfaction. “Clear.”

“Oh, good, at least the bed won’t try to kill us,” Rose rolled her eyes from where she stood by the fire.  It was freezing in the palace, bursts of cold air coming through the shut but unsealed windows, rattling the frames and making the candles splutter.

“It was a minor misunderstanding,” the Doctor protested, sticking his hands in his pockets as he made his way to her.  “To be fair, we did burst out of the forest directly in front of the king.  Who wouldn’t take that as an assassination attempt?”

“Thank God for the psychic paper, is all I’ll say,” she retorted, rubbing her arms vigorously.  While the 16th century gowns were beautiful, her shoulders were bare leaving her chilled despite the warm fire and long sleeves.

“C’mere.”  Removing his suit jacket he wrapped it around her shoulders before pulling her into his chest, holding her tightly against him.  “Better?”

Rose hummed.  While he didn’t have much in the way of body heat to warm her, the jacket was a solid barrier against the wind and just being alone with him, pressed together tightly, was enough to heat her blood.  Her nose found the gap between his shirt and neck, nuzzling there.

He let out a long sigh, arms tightening around her, and she smiled against the knot of his tie.  “You don’t think he’ll try to come in here, do you?”

“Who?”

“Henry.  The king.”

The Doctor tensed for a moment before forcing himself to relax.  “No.  And if he does, well, I’m already here, aren’t I?  Besides, he’s had a rough day.”

“Why?”

“What?”

The comfort of being warm in his arms combined with the way he’d begun to sway her gently made her eyelids heavy, but she kept enough presence of mind to repeat, “Why?  What was so bad about his day?”

The Time Lord stayed silent, making her tense.

“Doctor, please.”

He sighed, resting his chin on the top of her head.  “The queen gave birth today.”

“Isn’t that good?”

“It was a girl.”

“Ah,” Rose grimaced, searching her mind for the story of Henry the Eighth.  “Mary?”

“Elizabeth.”

“Oh!”  That said everything.  Elizabeth, the baby who was supposed to be a boy, the son to make the turmoil and Church of England worth the blood and sacrifice.  Elizabeth, last of the Tudor rulers, who lived in constant fear of being murdered until the day she died.  “So, Anne Boleyn is queen, then?”

“Yes.  Well, for another two years, eight months, and twelve days.  Well, eleven days thirteen hours now.  Impossible to believe what ridiculousness this country was put through for the sake of a healthy son who will never be born.  I’ve half a mind to say, ‘Oi, Harry, it’s your poor swimmers why you’ve got this problem, not your wives’ fault. Quit cutting their heads off!’ Course, that would just get us executed.”

“Yeah, let’s try to avoid that,” Rose rolled her eyes.  “I have a strict once-per-trip rule, remember?”

He scoffed.  “Bor-ing. Live a little!”

“That’s the point!”

They pulled back enough to meet the other’s eyes, before bursting into laughter.  When they calmed again Rose rested her head over his left heart, sighing as she sank into him.  “That poor little girl.  Life’s not easy in this time, or any really, but she’ll still have it harder than most.”

“‘Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown’,” the Doctor quoted.  “Henry the Fourth, but still fitting.”

Rose perked at that as an idea crossed her mind.  “Is Shakespeare around yet?  Could we see a show while we’re here?”

“No, he won’t be born for another thirty… one years, and it’s another twenty after that when he moves to London and gains fame.  Sorry.”

The Doctor’s hands drifted lower, settling over her bum, and she giggled against his shoulder.  “You’ve wandering hands there, my dear.”

“When in Rome.  This is Court, there’s a lot of groping and bedhopping.  The King being the most prolific of them all.”

“Right… he had lots of bastards, didn’t he?”

“A few, most of whom died. His daughters, Mary and Elizabeth, were easily the longest-living.  Mary died at 42, after a reign of 5 years.  Elizabeth lived to 69, queen for more than 44 years.  The daughters he never wanted were in the end his greatest legacy.”

“Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“Maybe we can stop talking about this?” Rose suggested, running her hands over his back as she pressed kisses to his adam’s apple.  “Move on to something else?”

“Like what?”

“Mhmm… you mentioned groping and bedhopping,” she teased, squeezing his bum.

“Oh, right!  So Henry is well known for having multiple mistresses, Anne and Jane being more famous ones for becoming wives but were just two of many. Even when he was happily married to the first Catherine-”

“No,” she interrupted, turning and leading him towards the bed, “no more history lessons.  I was thinking more along the lines of us acting out some of the love scenes from historical movies.  You know, making love in a four-posting, the fire roaring, lots of moaning and sweaty, writhing bodies.”  Rose stopped to kiss him deeply, smiling against his lips when he began to reciprocate.

“Okay.”

They made their way to the side of the bed, standing there kissing for long moments.  He tensed a moment before the door to their room creaked open, pressing their mouths more firmly together and pinching her side.

Rose took the hint, moaning brokenly against his mouth and only partially acting, sighing dramatically as he worked his way to her neck.  Carefully peering out through nearly-shut eyelashes, she saw Henry standing in the doorway watching, a scowl on his face.  She leaned back on the mattress, pulling the Doctor on top of her, as they continued to kiss and run their hands over each other until the king got the hint, slamming the door shut as his stalking footsteps echoed down the stone hallway.

“Is he gone?” Rose whispered, and the Doctor nodded slowly.

“I think so,” he murmured, kissing her again before straightening with a groan.  He tiptoed to the door, poking his head out, before shutting and bolting it.  “There we are, no more interruptions.  He decided to try his luck with the woman next door instead.”  He returned to her, crawling on the bed beside her as they stared at each other.

“Good thing you said we were married,” she said shakily, “and insisted on sharing a room.”  Somehow she doubted saying ‘no’ would be an acceptable answer to the king’s proposition.

The Doctor shrugged one shoulder, settling his palm on her stomach over her dress.  “I know how it works.  Put them in separate rooms, then there’s no husband to protest.  The next morning he gets property, or money, or a title in thanks for his wife’s ‘service’.  It’s barbaric, but that’s how it is.”

“I know my time period’s still got a long way to go towards equality,” Rose drawled, “but it’s a hell of a lot better than this.  And has indoor plumbing.”

The Doctor chuckled.  “I agree.”

They gazed at each other for a long minute, Rose watching the firelight flicker over the Doctor’s intense expression.  “So, how does this work?”

“Sex?  Same as at home,” he teased, leaning forward to kiss her.

“I meant… all this,” Rose waved her hand, gesturing towards the candles burning throughout the room and the fireplace.  “Do we just blow them out when it’s time to sleep?”

He nodded.  “The fire stays on, of course, ‘cause we’d freeze to death otherwise, but you blow out the candles.  Some people will leave them burning until they die out, but that can cause fires and is generally a bad idea.”

“Oh is it?” Rose teased, rolling onto her side to face him.  “You don’t say.”

He growled, forcing her onto her back as he moved on top of her.  “You talk too much.”

“Oh, I do apologize my lord,” she adopted a breathy tone, widening her eyes comically.  “Tis verily a forsaken habit, forsooth.”

The Doctor wrinkled his nose.  “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

“Right.  Er…” Rose fumbled for an idea, before a wicked smile crossed her face.  “If what exits my mouth does not please you, my lord, perhaps you may have something to stopper it up with?”

It took him a moment to get her meaning, eyes going wide as he groaned.  “Aye, I do, common wench,” he tried to play along, before shaking his head.  “Erm, no, that’s not- sorry.  Uh, yes, fair maiden, I have something for you to occupy yourself with.  Better?”

Rose rolled her eyes, shoving him away before standing from the bed.  “You’re very bad at this.  Just get me out of this dress, would you?”  She turned, and he sat on the edge of the bed behind her to undo the laces.

He worked steadily, occasionally pressing kisses to the back of her neck until she could shove the dress down and off, leaving her in a shift.

“Your turn.”  She gestured him off the bed, taking her time to strip him of his suit until he stood before her in just his pants.  Looking around at the floor, seeing it was nothing more than stone covered with straw, she grimaced.  “On the bed.”

They climbed back up, settling in the middle with the Doctor near the wall.

“Right.”  Rose pushed him back against the pillows, encouraging his legs to lie straight as she settled on his lap.  Rocking gently against him she kissed him until he was desperate, fingers clutching her hips tightly enough to leave bruises before she began to mouth her way down his body.

“You don’t have to-” he tried, but she merely waved her hand.

“Want to,” she promised, easing his pants down his hips and tossing them on the floor in the direction of their abandoned clothes.  “Mhmm.” She took him in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the head of him as he sighed, burying one hand in her hair.

“I bet every bloke in this castle wishes he were me right now,” he muttered, watching her work with heavy eyelids.

Rose popped off with a wet sound, snickering.  “This is before toilet tissue and frequent bathing; every woman in this castle would be happy to service you instead of whatever fat, old, misogynistic bloke’s in her bed tonight, harassing her.  You said the king’s in the room next door?  Bet she’s not nearly as happy with him in her mouth as I am with you in mine.”

The Doctor pretended to consider that.  “Then again, there were a few beautiful but miserable duchesses at the feast tonight…”

Rose flicked his hip before dragging her fingernails over the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.  “Oi.  One woman in your bed’s worth two down the hall, loverboy.  And this one’s worth the whole damn castle.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “There’s a crowned Queen of England hidden away somewhere in this palace, and her newborn daughter will someday be queen in her own right.”

“Yeah, but I can wear trousers,” Rose retorted.  “And vote. Own property.  Shag whoever I damn well please.  Use birth control.”

“True.”  In a move too fast for her to process he flipped them, leaving Rose on her back with the Doctor kneeling between her thighs.  “And, by your time society has, well, mostly progressed to the point where women are free to expect and demand their own pleasure, instead of being the source of a man’s as they are here.”

He pulled her shift up, Rose wriggling around until they pulled it over her head together, throwing it to the side.  “Much better,” he approved, sliding his hands along her thighs and stomach as greedy eyes drank her in.  “Gorgeous.”

Rose sighed, letting her legs fall open and shivering as a cool breeze brushed over her heated center. “Less talking, more tonguing.”

He snickered, moving down the bed to stretch out on his front.  “Patience, Dame Rose.”  He pressed his lips to her belly button, leaving wet kisses along her stomach as his fingers teased her.  “In this time period, the best a woman could hope for was enough attention from her lover to make her wet enough for the act to be comfortable, let alone pleasurable.”

“I certainly hope you intend to do better than that,” Rose shot back, stretching her arms out to the sides and letting her eyes flutter closed.

Not bothering to reply his mouth closed over her and she groaned, back arching.

“Shit.”

He chuckled against her, the vibrations making her sigh with pleasure as he worked.

A strangled moan emanated from the room next door, and they both froze in surprise.  Rose’s eyes fluttered open to meet his, and they burst into laughter.

“Maybe he’s better than I thought,” Rose teased, bending one knee and drawing it up.  “Care to compete?”

A moment later the sound of a headboard meeting the wall began to echo, a punishing rhythm that had the woman wailing pleas and curses.  It was a strange thought, that the king of England, a well-known one at that, was fucking a woman on the other side of the wall.

Rose’s stomach bottomed out, surprisingly turned on by the sounds.  “Doctor, please,” she said breathlessly.

He frowned, nose wrinkling as he looked between her and the wall behind her.  “This isn’t weird to you?  He tried to have you tonight instead, remember?”

She shrugged, desire pooling in her veins.  Overhearing someone else was usually a turn off, but in this moment it just made her want him more, want this couple next door to hear them.  “Is it too much for you?”  Maybe it was a dangerous game, but she wanted this king who thought himself God, who murdered dozens of people, friends, lovers, and enemies alike to get what he wanted, to hear someone else make her cry out in pleasure greater than the woman he was with.

The Doctor pursed his lips, but before he could answer the king let out a shout of pleasure like any other man, all noise stopping.  “That didn’t last long.”

“Shall we give them something to try for?” Rose teased.  She hadn’t been timing it, but it couldn’t have been more than two minutes.  Not impressive.  “Show them how it should be?”

The Doctor looked around the room, taking in the sparse furnishings, before shrugging.  “If you want.”

She nodded eagerly.

“Right, erm, on your knees. Turn around.”  Rose scrambled to obey, bracing herself against the wall as he came up behind her, nudging her legs farther apart.  “Sure?”

She bumped her hips back against his, arching her back.  “Yes.”

He melded his torso to her back, pressing them together, one arm wrapping around her waist as his other hand guided him inside her.  Once seated he gave a few experimental thrusts before adjusting their stance slightly.

“Ready?”  When she nodded he planted his hand against the wall for leverage, slamming his hips against hers and drawing a ragged breath from her at the force.  The headboard moved slightly, tapping the wall, and he made another adjustment.

On the next thrust the headboard made a noise, Rose humming at the sound.  One more shift backwards had her bent over, braced on her hands as he pushed forward.  This time they heard a loud ‘thwack!’, and Rose grinned victoriously.

“Loud enough?” he muttered.

“Perfect.”

He started to move, forceful thrusts shoving the headboard against the wall with a satisfying noise every time.  Rose began to moan loudly, the volume mostly for show, hanging her head and concentrating on the building pleasure.  She would never say she was an exhibitionist, she usually preferred total privacy, but tonight it was hot and dirty and a total turn on.

Before she met the Doctor, she and her friends would try to attend the same clubs and parties as Prince Harry.  None of them had any real expectations past maybe a snog, though Keisha had plenty of fantasies of hooking up with him.

Now here she was, in Greenwich Palace in the 16th Century, getting thoroughly shagged by an alien as Henry the Eighth, King of England, listened through a thin wall.  How her life had changed.

“All right?” the Doctor muttered, shifting his grip on her hips as she shook with repressed laughter.

“Mhmm,” she managed, “I love- our life.”

“Me too,” he agreed after a moment’s hesitation, enough for her to realize he’d caught her slip up.  “Close?”

“Yeah.”  Balancing herself on her left palm, Rose brought her right hand to where they were joined to help herself along.  “Mhmm, yeah.”

The Doctor’s movements were losing their rhythm, his grunts growing louder, and a flickering behind Rose’s eyelids made her eyes open.  Glancing to the side in search of the shadows, she watched as the candle flame flickered, realizing dimly that the force of the headboard meeting the wall was creating a breeze that threatened to blow out the candle.

He froze behind her, letting out a low, choked moan, collapsing onto Rose and taking her down with a yelp.  Spread-eagled beneath him, she watched as the candle gave out with a shudder of its own.

Panting, Rose was conscious of everywhere their bodies touched, pouting as she realized he’d left her unsatisfied for once.  “Doctor,” she whispered, patting his hand, only to get a snore in response.

Huffing, she wriggled her way out from beneath him, locating a pitcher of water and a basin tucked in a corner.  Cleaning herself up she pulled her shift back on, climbing into what little free space his lanky, sprawling frame left and turning on her side to watch him.  The room was dark but for the light from the fire, and with a sigh, she snuggled down next to him.

Still revved up and no hope of assistance, she bunched the shift up around her waist and hooked her leg over his bum, fingers disappearing between her own thighs.

If you want something done right…

-

Rose woke to the sensation of lips on her inner thigh, her muscles instinctively tensing as she struggled to fully come to.

“Shh, it’s just me,” the Doctor’s voice came from the dark, a hint of apology in his voice.  “Sorry.”

“Thought you might be someone else,” she whispered back, relaxing as she recognized the mouth moving over her skin.

“Didn’t mean to pass out on you like that,” he said sheepishly.  “Haven’t slept since Krop Tor.”

“It’s okay.”  Rose didn’t need to see for her fingers to find his hair unerringly in the dark.  “You needed a rest, clearly.”

“Mhmm.”  He sucked at her inner thigh for a moment, long enough to leave a mark.  “Still. Let me make it up to you.”

“Shouldn’t we be sleeping? Isn’t it the middle of the night?”

“For millenia humans have had a split sleep cycle,” he started in what she had long since dubbed his ‘professor’ voice.  “They would sleep for about four hours, then wake up for an hour or two.  At this point they would relax, maybe entertain themselves for a while, do some one A.M. existential thinking, or shag.  Then they’d sleep for another four hours, until roughly dawn.  Wasn’t much to do during the hours when the sun was set, not everyone could afford candles or see well enough in the moonlight.”

Rose nodded, wondering if he could see her smirk in the dark.  “So you’re just trying to fit in, is what you’re saying.”

The sheets rustled as he moved up her body, stretching out on top of her.  Her knees instinctively parted, legs wrapping around his waist as he settled against her.  “Rose.”

“Hmm?”  She kissed him leisurely, sucking on his tongue to distract him as she hiked the shift up to her hips.

“Unh.”  He grunted, hips rocking down against her, making her smile at the unconscious motion.  A bloke is a bloke.  She smoothed her hands along the soft skin of his back, rubbing at the knots she found there before clutching his bum.

“You gonna shag me silly or what?” she whispered in his ear, pulling the lobe between her teeth and biting gently, making him groan loudly.

“Uh huh.”  He fumbled between them for a moment to line them up, sliding home easily.  Propping himself up above her on his forearms, he lowered his head to nuzzle the neckline of her shift down until her breasts were free, mouthing one nipple to a peak before moving to the other, never lingering on one too long before returning to the other.  His hips kept a controlled pace, slowly fucking her until she was wild for it, writhing beneath him and begging, nails scoring along his spine.  She was whimpering steadily, hips rocking up against him, back arched to push herself closer.

“Doctor, please!”

Steadying himself on one arm he skated his other hand up her arm, down her torso to grope her breast before continuing on its way.  Detouring to swipe over her clit and wring a cry from her lips, he brought it finally to rest on her knee, guiding it away from his hip and up until her ankle rested on his shoulder.  The change in angle was almost perfect, and she was so close.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she panted in encouragement, fighting the urge to reach between her own thighs. This was supposed to be about him making it up to her; he had to finish the job.

Once her ankle was secure he trailed his fingers slowly up her leg, teasing at the back of her knee before ultimately returning to her clit.  One firm press against the nub was enough, and she came with a shout of relief.

Rose sagged all at once, boneless with pleasure, and the Doctor stopped moving, keeping himself propped up above her.  “Good?”

“As apologies go, it’s… satisfactory,” Rose said, breathless, before snorting at the pun.  “Ha, get it?  Satisfactory?”

“I happen to think that was a bit more than ‘satisfactory’,” he said indignantly, and she could just make out the curve of his lip as he pouted.  “Groundbreaking.  Earthshattering.  Ruining-other-men-for-you-forever.”

“It was good.”  She laughed as he made a disgusted sound.  “Better than any other bloke I’ve had.”

“That doesn’t mean much,” he muttered, “you’ve complained about their lack of bedroom prowess enough.”

Rose flicked his ear. “You gonna finish and let me go back to sleep or what?  You may only need four hours every few weeks, but I need more than that.”

“Fine,” he huffed, sitting up straight and shifting his legs around to be comfortable.  “Just give me a minute.”

“Such a romantic,” she rolled her eyes as he began to thrust, though her mouth fell open when his thumb found her, rubbing tight circles.  “Oh, shit.”

They came together, twin groans painting the air of the otherwise silent bedroom.  The Doctor leaned forward, kissing her stomach, before wrenching himself away.  He found the basin and pitcher in the dark, cleaning them both up before curling up beside her.

“Good night,” Rose whispered, nestling against his chest, and he kissed the top of her head.

“We should do this more often.”

“Shag in the middle of the night?  We do that plenty.”

“I meant to candlelight.”

“Oh.  Okay.”

They next morning they were politely escorted out of the palace and banned from returning by an uncomfortable yeoman of the guard, the Doctor breathlessly explaining the history of the position as they legged it for the TARDIS.

He was still talking when they made it to their room, bursting in to find hundreds of lit candles decorating the space.

She quickly found a better use for his gob.

[mentallydatingahotcelebrity]

I Couldn’t Think of A Title But This is a Rant About Ragnarok

I was trying not write write another long-winded spiel about Thor: Ragnarok. There are just SO MANY FLAWS with the film that I find it hard to touch on one specific subject without thinking about 3 other subtopics that relate to the discussion.

Buuuuuuuut. . .

I had to crack my knuckles and pull up my keyboard once more because I keep seeing people go on this “If only Ragnarok had gone such-and-suchly” route. And the way it should have gone, according to many, is still not how it should have gone (even if these ideas are better than how it did go).

First of all, when people say Ragnarok should’ve been “different” they usually shell out some form of this:

1. Thor learns Odin is a despicable asshole

2. Thor discovers Asgard’s terrible past in colonization and decimation of other nations and becomes ashamed of his realm

3. Thor unites with Loki to combat what’s wrong with Asgard’s political views, etc.

NO

NO NO NO

PLEASE, CAN WE CEASE WITH THIS COLONIZATION BUSINESS?!?!?!

I know it’s important--I’m not trying to say it isn’t--but for this film it is a FICTION created by an idiot who didn’t bother to invest time in the source material.

Thor already knew that Odin had conquered realms. That his grandfather had conquered realms. This isn’t news to him whatsoever. We LITERALLY got a prologue in the very first film featuring him and Odin and Loki discussing conquering. AND THEN ANOTHER in The Dark World.

Thor knew that bad things had happened, that all of Asgard wasn’t holy, pure, and good. That Odin was flawed. He REALIZED THIS at the end of his first film and in the middle of his second film.

OR HAVE YOU ALL FORGOTTEN THIS SCENE:

"If and when he [Malekith] comes, his men will fall on ten thousand Asgardian blades." "And how many of our men will fall on theirs?" "As many as are needed! We will fight! To the last Asgardian breath, to the last drop of Asgardian blood."

-- Odin and Thor, Thor: The Dark World

If you watch closely, (unfortunately I have no pictures) Thor stares at Odin with a look that is one of dismay and disappointment as his father walks away. In that moment Thor understands how much Odin is blinded by prejudices, and illusions of things that will not work anymore; that are archaic in their mode and frail in their means. As frail as the old man he suddenly understands his father has become. And then suddenly, Thor--faithful, dog-loyal Thor, who respected Odin so highly and sought in the first film to “make you proud, father”, understands that he can no longer make his father proud and do what he knows is the true right thing to do. It’s subtle, almost entirely beneath the surface-- Expressed through only a single facial movement and an air of disappointed shame which is quickly segued into the cutscenes of Thor following through on his own plan and recruiting Loki, who he now understands is right--at least about Odin’s failures as king.

THIS IS CINEMATIC POETRY AT ITS FINEST.

Thor goes to Odin to petition him to let him find a safe way to end Malekith’s plan, only to discover that Odin is narrow-minded, obtuse; refusing to alter his views or even really LISTEN to Thor. Thor is awakened to the realization that this isn’t what a good king does-- and I think that’s why he turns down the throne at the end when Loki-guised-as-Odin offers it to him.

Thor’s seen Odin for who he really is, what he became. He does not want to be that, so he goes off--Hoping to see more of the realms and to gain a better understanding of them.

“There are Nine Realms. The future king of Asgard must focus on more than one.”

-- Lady Sif

We don’t need some big moment (a waste of footage) where Thor confronts Odin about these errors. We don’t need Thor to say “We colonized and this is bad and I’m going to change it and be a better king” because that’s extra and doesn’t add to the character or the fictional sci/fi-fantasy universe he lives in. It’s literally just a waste and pandering to a bunch of ridiculous themes in our own universe that we really shouldn’t be impressing into Thor’s.

No, I’m going to mention something that in the hype of Ragnarok everyone seems to have misplaced:

THERE WAS A KING BEFORE ODIN.

HIS NAME WAS BOR

AND HE’S THE ONE WHO BUILT ASGARD.

I am so mentally exhausted with all of this “Odin built Asgard on the backs of slaves and brutally colonized scores of planets in the Nine! HE IS EVIL, EVIL! BAAAAAD!!!!!”

NO!

shhh ShhHHH SHHHH!

STOP IT.

It’s farcical lies. All of it. Just kill that ideology now.

Odin did not build Asgard. Like Thor, he inherited it. Premade. Already golden.

Because King Bor did all of that.

The only reason we’re thinking anything else is because we had a clown in a pineapple onesie fuck with the Order of Things and Not Pay Attention to Past Source Material. Taika literally ran over the fact that there was a monarch before Odin, that Odin isn’t creator of Asgard. Hell, did he even read the origin myths for Asgard!?!?!?

It goes:

Ymir the giant. From him came Buri, from Buri came Bor and from Bor came three sons: Odin, Vili, and Ve (in what birth order we know not).

King Bor built Asgard; built it up as the highest realm (highest as in = most glorious of them all), and THEN went out realm-conquering or whatever. Mostly he just stopped the giants from killing a lot of people and stopped other races from killing one another--however he also got into a fight with Vanaheim, which makes me think that Odin and Frigga were an alliance through marriage (given that Frigga is Vanir).

I really would like to know where the slaves came from, Taika. I really would.

Because:

Vanaheim was equal to Asgard (though the two realms did have a lot of quarrels, they never took one another as slaves, at least in the mythos).

Nornheim only has the 3 Norn sisters living in it protecting the Well of Urd.

Niffelheim is cold and dark and icy and barren; the realm before Helheim.

Helheim is the land of the dead and those who go there (usually) are never to return.

Jotunheim is the land of Frost Giants; and while Odin might have subdued them to keep them from destroying other realms like how the Allies stopped Hitler from destroying other countries), he certainly DIDN’T make them his slaves.

Muspelheim (as we saw) is full of fire-demons and Sutur to rule them.

Midgard was left entirely to its own devices after a few decades of visiting, we can plainly see. Not to mention that Asgardians seem to consider them “weak” and “puny” so they wouldn’t be used as slaves, since the composition of Asgardian matter is probably substantially different compared to Midgardian matter (especially given how Thor and Loki could just rip through Midgardian objects like paper in Avengers: Assemble).

Alfheim is the realm of the Light Elves and ain’t none of them gonna be taken as slaves. They practice M A G I C for crying out loud!

Svartalfheim is the only one that I could maybe probably see as being slave-material, but they got this insane idea to wipe out all of the light in all of the Realms so Bor Odin’s dad if you forgot had to destroy them.

Not for any reason to do with superiority, BUT BECAUSE THEY WERE TRYING TO DESTROY ALL THE REALMS!!!

If you notice a pattern here:

Someone tries to meddle in the affairs of the realms to a harmful extent. Asgard heaves a great heaping sigh and steps in, defeats the threat, and retires to their golden city.

NOWHERE IS THERE COLONIZATION AND INVASION.

The Dark Elves LITERALLY tried to make the light go away.

The Frost Giants LITERALLY tried to wipe out all of Midgard.

Bor (then Odin with the Jotuns) stepped in to protect other realms. Either realms that were weak or realms that simply weren’t aware of the problem (because why cause a panic when you can just deal with the problem? *looking at you, Dark Elves*).

To sum up:

I’ve done the research and nowhere do I see slaves.

Thanks, Taika.

I mean, yes, I’m sure there were slaves somewhere in the Nine Realms, I’m sure it happened. But I think that with all of these realms, with thousands of planets in each realm, and so many of them being “advanced” that the idea of slavery would be mentally slow to them. And of the few planets that were in that number that used slaves, Asgard would certainly not be counted.

Because why the actual solitary hell do we have to have every single fucking universe in fiction be slave-holding? God, that really makes Americans sound like butthurt assholes. I know it’s supposed to be some sort of allegorical symbolism and warnings to not let that stuff happen again and other epicness, but if they really wanted to do that

WE HAD BLOODY SAKAAR TO PUSH THAT MESSAGE.

THERE WAS EVEN AN EGOTISTICAL AMERICAN ACTOR PLAYING THE LEADER OF THAT PLANET.

AND TAIKA MISSED THIS.

Of course he couldn’t make Sakaar unique, no. (What, are you dull? The man has zero imagination!) Waititi had to go and poison Asgardian history with slavery and colonization yada, yada, yada *vomits*. Because he has no imagination and no idea how to write fantasy worlds. Which is clearly defined in his total lack of understanding and ability to embrace the fictional world of Thor.

Waititi couldn’t ever allow himself to really get a good grasp on the universe of Nine Realms, so he made it into a farce. He couldn’t put faith in fantasy so he destroyed it with a blowtorch and kitschy 70s/80s sets that were really garbage bins in disguise. Because he can find a foothold in bad comedy more readily than he can catch on to high-fantasy.

We already know that Asgard has problems. We didn’t need Taika to make that more obvious. It would’ve been nice that instead of saying “oh, heey, lookie, more problems than you thought initially!” he brought SOMETHING NEW to the scene.

Something with substance.

Colonization is nice and all, and a strong allegorical message, surely, but Asgard was doing just fine being bad without that idiotical and unnecessary leap. Thor was feeling like shit about Odin’s kingly choices In The Past without needing to “discover” what he already knew lmao this underworld side of the realm.

It was dramatic enough that Hela is really the first-born in line for the throne. We didn’t need any of that realm-conquering/executioner horseshit to fog up the fishtank.

In all honesty I would’ve loved to learn that Loki was Hela’s son with Laufey but was unsatisfactory so she tried to sacrifice him for more power over killing things but Odin came in, put a stop to the Power Couple of Death and Destruction and saved his grandson, thus giving more validation to the line “your birthright was to die!”

Anyway, I’m out. Most likely to go puke because I’m so very ill and then come back and cringe at this insanely plot-holey post.

[chasebenson1693]

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Rapid - Copenhagen match overview, prediction&tips

Recent matches Rapid is playing unstable (in the last 5 games wins - 2).

Copenhagen is in a first-rate shape now (in the last 5 games wins - 3).

Rapid could have problems with physics compare with it opponent - last days they played more matches than their opponents.

Recently Rapid have a series of home games.

In this match the chances to achieve triumph bor both teams are almost equal.

Recently, the teams did not play each other.Galatasaray - Kasımpaşa match overview, prediction&tips

Galatasaray could have problems with physics compare with it opponent - last days they played more matches than their opponents.

In this match Galatasaray is a favorite.

Last 18 head-to-head matches Galatasaray won 11 matches, drawn 2 matches, lost 5 matches and goals 35-24.

Including matches at home between the teams Galatasaray won 7 matches, drawn 0 matches, lost 2 matches and goals 18-12.Spartak M - Sochi match overview, prediction&tips

Recent matches Spartak M is playing changeable (in the last 5 games wins - 2).

Spartak M could have problems with physics compare with it opponent - last days they played more matches than their opponents.

Recently Spartak M have a series of home games.

In this match Spartak M is a favorite.

Last 6 head-to-head matches Spartak M won 2 matches, drawn 2 matches, lost 2 matches and goals 9-5.

Including matches at home between the teams Spartak M won 2 matches, drawn 1 matches, lost 0 matches and goals 9-3.

Rapid - Copenhagen match overview, prediction&tips Últimos partidos Rapid juega inestable (en los últimos 5 juegos victorias - 2). Copenhagen en muy buena forma (en los últimos 5 juegos victorias - 3).

Rapid podría tener problemas con la física comparar con ella oponente - últimos días se jugó más partidos que sus oponentes. Recientemente Rapid tener una serie de partidos en casa. En este partido, las posibilidades de ganar los dos equipos son casi iguales. Recientemente, el equipo no jugó entre sí.Galatasaray - Kasımpaşa match overview, prediction&tips

Galatasaray podría tener problemas con la física comparar con ella oponente - últimos días se jugó más partidos que sus oponentes. En este partido, el Galatasaray es el favorito. Le recomendamos que haga una apuesta en el Galatasaray, con un coeficiente de 1.62.El pasado 18 head-to-head matches Galatasaray ganó 11 partidos, dibujados 2 partidos, perdieron 5 partidos, y 35-24. Incluyendo partidos en casa entre los equipos Galatasaray ganó 7 partidos, dibujados 0 partidos, perdieron 2 partidos, y 18-12.Spartak M - Sochi match overview, prediction&tips Últimos partidos Spartak M juega inestable (en los últimos 5 juegos victorias - 2).

Spartak M podría tener problemas con la física comparar con ella oponente - últimos días se jugó más partidos que sus oponentes. Recientemente Spartak M tener una serie de partidos en casa. En este partido, el Spartak M es el favorito.El pasado 6 head-to-head matches Spartak M ganó 2 partidos, dibujados 2 partidos, perdieron 2 partidos, y 9-5. Incluyendo partidos en casa entre los equipos Spartak M ganó 2 partidos, dibujados 1 partidos, perdieron 0 partidos, y 9-3.

Rapid - Copenhagen match overview, prediction&tips Aktuelle Spiele Heimmannschaft spielt unregelmäßig (in den letzten 5 Spielen gewinnt - 2). Gastmannschaft in einem sehr guten Zustand (in den letzten 5 Spielen gewinnt - 3).

Copenhagen Vorteil könnte in der Physik haben - mehr Tage für Ruhe in den letzten Tagen. Kürzlich Rapid haben eine Reihe von Heimspielen. In diesem Spiel eine Chance, beide Teams gewinnen sind fast gleich. Vor kurzem hat das Team nicht spielen einander.Galatasaray - Kasımpaşa match overview, prediction&tips

Kasımpaşa Vorteil könnte in der Physik haben - mehr Tage für Ruhe in den letzten Tagen. In diesem Spiel ist Galatasaray ein Favorit. Wir empfehlen, dass Sie eine Wette auf Heimmannschaft zu machen mit einem Koeffizienten von 1.62.Letzte 18 Kopf-an-Kopf-Spiele Heimmannschaft gewann 11 Spiele, 2 unentschieden Spiele, 5 Spiele verloren und Ziele 35-24. Inklusive Heimspiele zwischen den Teams Heimmannschaft gewann 7 Spiele, 0 unentschieden Spiele, 2 Spiele verloren und Ziele 18-12.Spartak M - Sochi match overview, prediction&tips Aktuelle Spiele Heimmannschaft spielt unregelmäßig (in den letzten 5 Spielen gewinnt - 2).

Spartak M könnte Probleme mit der Physik zu vergleichen mit ihr Gegner haben - letzten Tagen spielten sie mehr Spiele als ihre Gegner. Kürzlich Spartak M haben eine Reihe von Heimspielen. In diesem Spiel ist Spartak M ein Favorit.Letzte 6 Kopf-an-Kopf-Spiele Heimmannschaft gewann 2 Spiele, 2 unentschieden Spiele, 2 Spiele verloren und Ziele 9-5. Inklusive Heimspiele zwischen den Teams Heimmannschaft gewann 2 Spiele, 1 unentschieden Spiele, 0 Spiele verloren und Ziele 9-3.

Rapid - Copenhagen match overview, prediction&tips Последние матчи Rapid играет нестабильно (в последних 5 матчах побед - 2). Copenhagen в очень хорошей форме (в последних 5 матчах побед - 3).

У Rapid могут быть проблемы с физикой на фоне конкурента – в последние дни сыграно больше матчей чем у суперника. У Rapid в последние время была домашняя серия матчей. В этом матче шансы на победу обеих команд практически равны. В последнее время команды между собой не играли.Galatasaray - Kasımpaşa match overview, prediction&tips

У Kasımpaşa может быть преимущество в физической подготовке – было больше дней для отдыха в последние дни. В этом матче Galatasaray является фаворитом. Мы рекомендуем сделать ставку на Galatasaray с коэффициентом 1.62.Последние матчи между этими соперниками Galatasaray выиграл 11, ничья 2, програл 5, разница голов 35-24. В том числе матчи на своем поле между этими соперниками Galatasaray выиграл 7, ничья 0, програл 2, разница голов 18-12.Spartak M - Sochi match overview, prediction&tips Последние матчи Spartak M играет нестабильно (в последних 5 матчах побед - 2).

У Spartak M могут быть проблемы с физикой на фоне конкурента – в последние дни сыграно больше матчей чем у суперника. У Spartak M в последние время была домашняя серия матчей. В этом матче Spartak M является фаворитом.Последние матчи между этими соперниками Spartak M выиграл 2, ничья 2, програл 2, разница голов 9-5. В том числе матчи на своем поле между этими соперниками Spartak M выиграл 2, ничья 1, програл 0, разница голов 9-3.

Rapid - Copenhagen match overview, prediction&tips Последните мачове Rapid играе хаотично (в последните 5 мача победи - 2). Copenhagen в много добра форма (в последните 5 мача победи - 3).

В Copenhagen може да бъде предимство в физическа подготовка - имаше повече дни, за да останат в последните дни. В Rapid в последно време е дом серия мачове. В тази игра шанс да спечели и двата отбора са почти равни. Наскоро отборът не играе един на друг.Galatasaray - Kasımpaşa match overview, prediction&tips

В Galatasaray може да има проблеми с физиката с съперник - през последните дни играе повече мачове, отколкото съперник. В този мач, Galatasaray е фаворит. Препоръчваме ви да направите залог на Galatasaray с коефициент 1.62.Последните 18 главата до главата мачове Galatasaray спечели 11 мача, равенство 2 мача, загуби 5 мача и цели 35-24. Включително мачове у дома между тези съперници Galatasaray спечели 7 мача, равенство 0 мача, загуби 2 мача и цели 18-12.Spartak M - Sochi match overview, prediction&tips Последните мачове Spartak M играе хаотично (в последните 5 мача победи - 2).

В Sochi може да бъде предимство в физическа подготовка - имаше повече дни, за да останат в последните дни. В Spartak M в последно време е дом серия мачове. В този мач, Spartak M е фаворит.Последните 6 главата до главата мачове Spartak M спечели 2 мача, равенство 2 мача, загуби 2 мача и цели 9-5. Включително мачове у дома между тези съперници Spartak M спечели 2 мача, равенство 1 мача, загуби 0 мача и цели 9-3.

[meganfarrell1191]

Bayern Munich v Augsburg German Bundesliga Live Stream 22.05.2021

Competition: Bayern v Augsburg live

https://rd-alt.hockeyoracle.com/?e=2091830&s=57

https://rd-alt.hockeyoracle.com/?e=2091830&s=57

Werder - Borussia M match overview, prediction&tips

No spectators.

Werder has the most likely position - 16 (35.68%), has project points - 32, has currently - 31, has a chance of relegated (44%), has not chance of qualify for ucl.

Borussia M has the most likely position - 8 (35.79%), has project points - 47, has currently - 46, has not chance of relegated, has not chance of qualify for ucl.

Werder has a line of defeats in latest matches (in the last 5 games wins - 0).

Recent matches Borussia M is playing unstable (in the last 5 games wins - 2).

In this match the chances to achieve triumph bor both teams are almost equal.

Last 21 head-to-head matches Werder won 5 matches, drawn 6 matches, lost 10 matches and goals 27-42.

Including matches at home between the teams Werder won 2 matches, drawn 3 matches, lost 4 matches and goals 10-12.Wolfsburg - Mainz match overview, prediction&tips

No spectators.

Wolfsburg is Qualified for Champions League (Group Stage)

Wolfsburg has the most likely position - 4 (66.11%), has project points - 63, has currently - 61, has not chance of relegated, was already of qualify for ucl, has not chance of win league.

Mainz has the most likely position - 13 (36.41%), has project points - 37, has currently - 36, has not chance of relegated, has not chance of qualify for ucl.

One and the other team get a very uncertain game.

In this match Wolfsburg is a favorite.

Last 18 head-to-head matches Wolfsburg won 6 matches, drawn 9 matches, lost 3 matches and goals 22-12.

Including matches at home between the teams Wolfsburg won 4 matches, drawn 3 matches, lost 1 matches and goals 15-4.Hoffenheim - Hertha match overview, prediction&tips

No spectators.

In this match we will have an opportunity to see a game between team from the middle of a tournament table and a the outsider (ranked 11 and 14).

Hoffenheim has the most likely position - 11 (100%), has project points - 42, has currently - 40, has not chance of relegated, has not chance of qualify for ucl.

Hertha has the most likely position - 14 (48.38%), has project points - 36, has currently - 35, has not chance of relegated, has not chance of qualify for ucl.

Right away both teams are in a satisfying form.

Hertha could have problems with physics compare with it opponent - last days they played more matches than their opponents.

Hoffenheim will have a small advantage in this match.

Last 17 head-to-head matches Hoffenheim won 8 matches, drawn 5 matches, lost 4 matches and goals 30-21.

Including matches at home between the teams Hoffenheim won 4 matches, drawn 2 matches, lost 2 matches and goals 10-9.

Werder - Borussia M match overview, prediction&tips Werder tiene una serie de derrotas en los últimos partidos (en los últimos 5 juegos victorias - 0). Últimos partidos Borussia M juega inestable (en los últimos 5 juegos victorias - 2). En este partido, las posibilidades de ganar los dos equipos son casi iguales.El pasado 21 head-to-head matches Werder ganó 5 partidos, dibujados 6 partidos, perdieron 10 partidos, y 27-42. Incluyendo partidos en casa entre los equipos Werder ganó 2 partidos, dibujados 3 partidos, perdieron 4 partidos, y 10-12.Wolfsburg - Mainz match overview, prediction&tips Ambos equipos están jugando inestable. En este partido, el Wolfsburg es el favorito.El pasado 18 head-to-head matches Wolfsburg ganó 6 partidos, dibujados 9 partidos, perdieron 3 partidos, y 22-12. Incluyendo partidos en casa entre los equipos Wolfsburg ganó 4 partidos, dibujados 3 partidos, perdieron 1 partidos, y 15-4.Hoffenheim - Hertha match overview, prediction&tips En el juego hay equipo de mitad de tabla y uno de los forasteros (en el puesto 11 y 14). Ahora ambos equipos están en buen estado.

Hertha podría tener problemas con la física comparar con ella oponente - últimos días se jugó más partidos que sus oponentes. Hoffenheim tendrá una ligera ventaja en este juego.El pasado 17 head-to-head matches Hoffenheim ganó 8 partidos, dibujados 5 partidos, perdieron 4 partidos, y 30-21. Incluyendo partidos en casa entre los equipos Hoffenheim ganó 4 partidos, dibujados 2 partidos, perdieron 2 partidos, y 10-9.

Werder - Borussia M match overview, prediction&tips Heimmannschaft hat eine Reihe von Niederlagen in den letzten Spielen (in den letzten 5 Spielen gewinnt - 0). Neue Spiele Gastmannschaft spielt unregelmäßig (in den letzten 5 Spielen gewinnt - 2). In diesem Spiel eine Chance, beide Teams gewinnen sind fast gleich.Letzte 21 Kopf-an-Kopf-Spiele Heimmannschaft gewann 5 Spiele, 6 unentschieden Spiele, 10 Spiele verloren und Ziele 27-42. Inklusive Heimspiele zwischen den Teams Heimmannschaft gewann 2 Spiele, 3 unentschieden Spiele, 4 Spiele verloren und Ziele 10-12.Wolfsburg - Mainz match overview, prediction&tips Beide Teams jetzt unregelmäßig spielen. In diesem Spiel ist Wolfsburg ein Favorit.Letzte 18 Kopf-an-Kopf-Spiele Heimmannschaft gewann 6 Spiele, 9 unentschieden Spiele, 3 Spiele verloren und Ziele 22-12. Inklusive Heimspiele zwischen den Teams Heimmannschaft gewann 4 Spiele, 3 unentschieden Spiele, 1 Spiele verloren und Ziele 15-4.Hoffenheim - Hertha match overview, prediction&tips In dem Spiel gibt es im Mittelfeld der Tabelle Team und einer der Außenseiter (Platz 11 und 14). Nun sind beide Teams sind in guter Form.

Hertha könnte Probleme mit der Physik zu vergleichen mit ihr Gegner haben - letzten Tagen spielten sie mehr Spiele als ihre Gegner. Hoffenheim haben einen leichten Vorteil in diesem Match.Letzte 17 Kopf-an-Kopf-Spiele Heimmannschaft gewann 8 Spiele, 5 unentschieden Spiele, 4 Spiele verloren und Ziele 30-21. Inklusive Heimspiele zwischen den Teams Heimmannschaft gewann 4 Spiele, 2 unentschieden Spiele, 2 Spiele verloren und Ziele 10-9.

Werder - Borussia M match overview, prediction&tips Werder имеет ряд поражений в последних матчах (в последних 5 матчах побед - 0). Последние матчи Borussia M играет нестабильно (в последних 5 матчах побед - 2). В этом матче шансы на победу обеих команд практически равны.Последние матчи между этими соперниками Werder выиграл 5, ничья 6, програл 10, разница голов 27-42. В том числе матчи на своем поле между этими соперниками Werder выиграл 2, ничья 3, програл 4, разница голов 10-12.Wolfsburg - Mainz match overview, prediction&tips Обе команды сейчас играют нестабильно. В этом матче Wolfsburg является фаворитом.Последние матчи между этими соперниками Wolfsburg выиграл 6, ничья 9, програл 3, разница голов 22-12. В том числе матчи на своем поле между этими соперниками Wolfsburg выиграл 4, ничья 3, програл 1, разница голов 15-4.Hoffenheim - Hertha match overview, prediction&tips В матче встречаются команда середины турнирной таблицы и один из аутсайдеров (занимают места 11 и 14). Сейчас обе команды находятся в хорошей форме.

У Hertha могут быть проблемы с физикой на фоне конкурента – в последние дни сыграно больше матчей чем у суперника. Hoffenheim будет иметь небольшое преимущество в этом матче.Последние матчи между этими соперниками Hoffenheim выиграл 8, ничья 5, програл 4, разница голов 30-21. В том числе матчи на своем поле между этими соперниками Hoffenheim выиграл 4, ничья 2, програл 2, разница голов 10-9.

Werder - Borussia M match overview, prediction&tips Werder има редица загуби в последните игри (в последните 5 мача победи - 0). Последните мачове Borussia M играе хаотично (в последните 5 мача победи - 2). В тази игра шанс да спечели и двата отбора са почти равни.Последните 21 главата до главата мачове Werder спечели 5 мача, равенство 6 мача, загуби 10 мача и цели 27-42. Включително мачове у дома между тези съперници Werder спечели 2 мача, равенство 3 мача, загуби 4 мача и цели 10-12.Wolfsburg - Mainz match overview, prediction&tips Двата отбора играят хаотично. В този мач, Wolfsburg е фаворит.Последните 18 главата до главата мачове Wolfsburg спечели 6 мача, равенство 9 мача, загуби 3 мача и цели 22-12. Включително мачове у дома между тези съперници Wolfsburg спечели 4 мача, равенство 3 мача, загуби 1 мача и цели 15-4.Hoffenheim - Hertha match overview, prediction&tips В играта има средата на таблицата отбор и един от аутсайдерите (класирана 11 и 14). Сега двата отбора са в добра форма.

В Hertha може да има проблеми с физиката с съперник - през последните дни играе повече мачове, отколкото съперник. Hoffenheim ще имат леко предимство в този мач.Последните 17 главата до главата мачове Hoffenheim спечели 8 мача, равенство 5 мача, загуби 4 мача и цели 30-21. Включително мачове у дома между тези съперници Hoffenheim спечели 4 мача, равенство 2 мача, загуби 2 мача и цели 10-9.