#m!a lovestruck ryuu

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

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@ask-nakajimaatsushi

[Akutagawa drops the plans to jump out the window for now, instead satisfying himself with the knowledge that he’d made Atsushi blush and the world and their friendship hadn’t collapsed.]

I do not get excited often.

You are right about that.

[Nakajima needs to stop being so cute...]

Not much to be excited for.

[aiupenn]

Beautiful

Akutagawa doesn’t love his scars, so Atsushi will love them for him.

[a/n: for @shinsoukoku-week day 3, ‘scars’. this fic would be rated ‘m’ on ao3. there are no explicit scenes, but it is a lead up to more explicit things. intimate, lots of kissing, and some undressing. as such, it’s all under the cut.]

Atsushi pulled away, gulping down air. Ryuu’s rushed breaths matched his and Atsushi took in the intoxicating sight of his boyfriend Half-lidded, lips swollen, pupils blown wide—Ryuu, just as he was, was the most beautiful thing Atsushi had every seen.

Atsushi dove back in, covering the whole of Ryuu’s lips with his own, stealing each breath from his lungs. Ryuu made a strangled noise, maybe it would’ve been a whine if Atsushi wasn’t being so greedy... If Ryuu was whining for attention, Atsushi was absolutely going to give it. 

Atsushi’s hooked his finger on the bottom of Ryuu’s t-shirt, then started to slowly draw it up. Ryuu broke the kiss when Atsushi lightly brushed his finger along Ryuu’s nipple. It was the first bit of relief since the start of the make-out. 

Atsushi smiled, loving the look of Ryuu’s mussed hair as the shirt gets thrown to a corner of the room. Ryuu’s eyes have drifted closed, focusing on his breathing as he ever-so-slightly tilts his body closer to Atsushi. 

Atsushi obliges, wrapping his hands around Ryuu’s muscled waist to pull him close and suck on his exposed neck. Immediately, Ryuu melted into the touch, gently gripping Atsushi’s hair as he tries to increase their contact. 

Then, Atsushi’s fingers brushed over a deep dip in Ryuu’s skin and his boyfriend freezes. 

Atsushi doesn’t pull back for a moment, his finger rubbing the scar for several seconds. Ryuu shivered and retreated toward the wall, just slightly. 

Finally, Atsushi moved his hand to hold Ryuu’s cheek as he studies his face. Ryuu won’t look Atsushi in the eyes, staring off to side, at the floor. 

“Ryuu,” Atsushi said softly, placing a kiss on the side of his love’s chin, “lovely...”

The pet name made Ryuu shiver again, his hand finding Atusushi’s and holding it.

Atsushi kissed him again, then kissed Ryuu’s neck too, for good measure. “Did you know I love you?” he whispered.

Ryuu didn’t respond, but the grip on Atsushi’s hand tightened. 

Atsushi trailed lower, kissing the collarbone. “I love you.”

Ryuu remains silent, but Atsushi can hear him take in a sharp breath and hold it.

“I love everything about you,” Atsushi said as he becomes level to the topmost scar on Ryuu’s chest, “You’re so beautiful.” He purred the last word deliberately, making the sound come from deep within his chest. Then he kissed the scar gently, giving it the love and attention it deserves. Every inch of Ryuu deserved to be kissed. 

Ryuu jolted, his hand unlatching from Atsushi’s so he can instead place it on Atsushi’s shoulder.  Light, he pushes Atsushi away, but that only made Atsushi pull their bodies as close together as he can manage. 

“Stop,” Ryuu says. 

Atsushi did, pulling his lips away. He straightened up and wrapped his arms around Ryuu’s waist so their faces are inches apart. Ryuu stared down at him, his eyes an unreadable mix of desperate emotions. 

Atsushi placed his head on Ryuu’s shoulder, nuzzling into his neck. “You’re so beautiful,” he repeated, quieter this time and with a certainty he wished he could give Ryuu.

Ryuu’s hand lifts up Atsushi’s shirt, just a little, so he can rub a scar on his hip.

“I like this part of you,” he said slowly.  

Atsushi smiled against Ryuu’s skin, the flattery making him feel light. “Do you?”

Ryuu lost his voice again, as he often did in matters of emotion. Atsushi didn’t mind. He let him take his time. “I like you.”

Atsushi grinned like a fool, not that he really cares. Ryuu always made him a lovestruck fool. He softly touched one of Ryuu’s scars, tracing it with his finger and memorizing it. Ryuu doesn’t pull away this time. “Beautiful,” Atsushi said, almost as if he addressing the scar in specific. 

Ryuu paused, his muscles a little tense. “Maybe.”

Atsushi took it. Someday he’d convince Ryuu he was perfect just the way he existed, but if that wasn’t today, that was okay, too. 

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

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@ask-nakajimaatsushi

Believe it.

[Akutagawa gives him a soft peck on the check to remind him and adds.]

You would have been kissed eventually. By someone else who cares for you, perhaps as much as I do. You are a great person, Atsushi Nakajima, you would have found someone eventually.

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

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@ask-nakajimaatsushi

[Akutagawa freezes as he comprehends that Atsushi’s touching his face and he can feel every callous in his partner’s hands and holy shit is he trying to kill me..... Akutagawa remains stock-still until Atsushi brushes some of his hair off of his forehead to try and take his temperature.]

I... I am fine..

[He takes Atsushi’s hand off his face, and tries to calm himself down, anything to stop how embarrassed he is by how much he wants Atsushi to do it again.]

Really, I am.

You do not have to be concerned about me.

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

PREVIOUS

@ask-nakajimaatsushi

[It’s just us... and he’s offering me his clothes... and they smell like chazuke which is so stupid.. why do they smell like chazuke?]

[All these thoughts swirl around Akutagawa’s head as Atsushi hands hi the sweatpants and shirt, he plasters a strained look on his face.]

They will be fine for now.

[Atsushi leaves to give Akutagawa privacy to change and Akutagawa does so, as quickly as he can. Part of his side bangs gets caught behind his ear as he does so. He can hear Atsushi moving around the kitchen and sighs.]

[The sweatpants pool around his ankles and he ties them the best he can with the tie, it’s not a perfect fit but at least they aren’t falling down. The shirt is another issue, since Atsushi’s shoulders are much broader than his, one bullet-wound ridden shoulder is always exposed no matter how hard Akutagawa tries to fix it. Eventually, face red, he gives up and awkwardly shuffles out to the living room, standing in the middle of the floor as though he doesn’t know what to do with himself.]

[He coughs to announce his presence.]

They are rather large for me, are they not?

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

@ask-nakajimaatsushi

[Akutagawa paces back and forth in front of the restaurant, his bow occasionally brushing his chin.]

[It shouldn’t be so bad... I just have to... hide it. I want to see him.. but not like this.... Ryuunosuke, you are a mess right now.... why is this so difficult?]

[I should’ve stayed at home and waited it out.]

[I am a fool, letting myself succumb to such weakness.]

[Akutagawa stops pacing and makes to head back to his house.]

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

M!a time!! Akutagawa is in love with Atsushi for a day! Have fun~

I am in love with who?

...

Nakajima?!

[M!A LOVESTRUCK RYUU START.]

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

PREVIOUS

@ask-nakajimaatsushi

Oh.. uh. You think so?

[Akutagawa runs a hand down his own cheek thoughtfully, ignoring the heat. He’s getting good at that by now.]

I do not really think about those details about myself.

[In return, he sets a hand on Atsushi’s cheek, pushing some of his bangs out of his face.]

Yours is too.

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

PREVIOUS

@ask-nakajimaatsushi

Green tea is fine.

[Akutagawa likes green tea. He moves to lean on the doorframe, watching Atsushi move around his kitchen. As Atsushi mentions that he was inspired by Akutagawa to collect tea, he flushes a bit.]

That is..

[He can’t settle on a word.]

Nice. 

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

PREVIOUS

@ask-nakajimaatsushi

[Akutagawa laughs slightly, again hiding the embarrassed look on his face.]

Chuuya-san takes me here sometimes, this is the first time I have been here without him.

[They settle down at a table, Akutagawa tries to keep his eyes on the menu but drifts off to look at Atsushi. I’m acting so weird...He’s probably noticed by now..]

Apologies, Nakajima...If I am acting weird.

[He nervously drums his fingers on the glass of water they got when they sat down.]

I got hit with a magic anon.

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

Alright, can you try to describe Atsushi? Like, what is he like? What is interesting about him? - The Coded Flower Anon from Poe's Askbox

Describe him?

Nakajima is... selfless. He tends to think of other people before himself. It is so nonsensical sometimes. I wish that he would give himself more appreciation since he is generally a very kind person even if a bit rude.

He’s passionate about the stupidest things. He gets excited over these things as if they do not occur everyday. His eyes get bright and he bounces on his heels. It is almost cute.. in a way.

He’s good at listening and is one of the only people that I genuinely feel as though I can talk to about anything. He understands me, sometimes better than I do myself and everytime he is able to contridict my guilt or lack of self care, It feels correct.

His appearance is... alright. The only thing I notice constantly are his eyes. They are really... pretty.

If you get close enough, he has freckles.

He is one of the only people I feel safe with and that I trust absolutely. I have never trusted anyone so completely like that before, except for Gin and sometimes Higuchi.

But Nakajima is the one I trust to have my back at all times, even during a battle. And there is something to be said about that.

That is a scary feeling.

But an exhilarating one as well.

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

Could you not just explain to Atsushi what's going on? You've both been hit by weird magic anons before, perhaps he'd understand! I'm sure he'd at least appreciate your honesty either way.

Tch.

...

I am... frankly... ashamed...

It is different when it is friendship, but I have never felt this way about anyone before. Even if it is fake, it seems so real.

It is embarrassing. I do not understand it.

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

We’ve been knew that you’re in love w him but continue continue 👁👁

No?

I have no romantic affections for anyone?

Especially not Nakajima. We are friends.

[Light pink dusts his cheeks at the mention of his partner.]

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

Wait.

Did Nakajima want to hang out today?

Shit...

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

That must be really confusing for you! But if i know Atsushi, i know he wouldn't make you feel ashamed of it, and i know he'd understand if you said you were confused. As for whether it feels real or not, perhaps after it has ended you can figure it out in your head, especially if any of those feelings are lingering. Either way, Atsushi is understanding and although it may be a difficult time, you've both promised each other to look after each other right? I'm sending hugs!

We did promise that.

I will just have to be patient with myself...

Thank you for your well wishes.

[ask-thesilentrabiddog]

how about you sing a Katy Perry song to him and hope he understands the message???

What should I even sing?

“Ur so Gay?” That song is very very outdated in its messages.

“If You Can Afford Me?” We all know that he is broke.

“Teenage Dream?” I am no longer a teenager.

There are not very many options... Maybe... “The One Who Got Away..”