#lunch line account and awkward pics account

[ace-with--a-mace]

cannot do anything at school now cameras everywhere

[alleunwalk]

tokyo revengers idol au hcs part 3 that no one asked for AGAIN here’s part 1 and part 2 to get a better understanding.  this is what the members would be doing alongside their idol promotions+ what they would post on social media  toman tbh these guys are all just so damn funny on their own that they would constantly be invited to comedy variety shows. maybe perhaps doing something similar to seventeen or wanna one where they even have their own variety show on youtube (ie. seventeen’s-going seventeen series or wanna one’s show on mnet)  mikey-he would post basic food pics like of his parfaits or taiyaki but also it’s rare because he’d constantly forget his password. however on important days he’ll post long emotional and sentimental posts that hit you in your feels thanking his members and fans always. he also has a youtube channel posting random funny vlogs. draken- he has his own personal soundcloud to upload solo mixtapes/songs feat diff members. posts photos of his bikes and different tattoos he would be getting. responds with 1-2 words to fans during fansigns or ig comments but like mikey, once in a while, will also write heartfelt posts thanking everyone.  baji- his ig feed is filled with animals + dance practice vids. also has his own soundcloud too. trolls his members by commenting on their stuff. “delete this u ugly mf no one wants to see this”.  takemichi- very chatty, (sometimes too chatty where he’ll end up accidentally spoiling their next album info) and interactive on social media to his fans. tries his best to respond to most comments or ama ig stories questions. posts a lot of selfies and photos of his members. king of fan service.  chifuyu- beautiful photos of the sky a lot on his ig (in canon he wanted to be a pilot :,) ) along with cute soft selfies. (which baji and kazutora troll and comment being like “damn....u ugly AF!” “lmao stop pretending to act cute u loser”  kazutora- his ig is filled with pure chaos. just pics of him catching his members slipping (sleeping photos where they’re drooling or have their eyes slightly open or making ugly faces behind the scenes). also has photos of cursed memes and memes made by fans. he’s a literal enigma.  mitsuya- very wholesome ig photos- lots of photos of his family, group photos, sometimes cool artsy edited selfies. occasional photoshoot photos.  hakkai- ig is filled lots of #ootd photos and occasional photos from his modeling or acting gigs (he’s the visual, duh!) gets a lot of sponsorships from big brands.  pah-chin: has a joint youtube channel with peyan. they do silly challenges but will sometimes post dance videos (feat. baji) since they’re the main/lead dancers. fans love him because of his “matter-of-fact” responses that are funny without even trying. (example- fan comment: omg i love u guys soooo much u guys are the best in the whole world!!!<333 toman OUTSOLD!.  pah-chin: idk about best in the world but we’ll just take “the best in our neighborhood” for now i guess. thanks.”)  peyan: joint youtube channel with pah-chin. at fan signs mikey has to warn him to chill out cuz peyan will accidentally yell and scare fans without meaning to, but he’s just really excited to meet his fans is all ^_^   angry: posts a lot of wholesome photos like mitsuya (selfies with smiley) and writes a lot of motivational sweet captions cheering fans up and reminding them to always be happy :,)  smiley: joint youtube account with angry. smiley does a lot of prank videos and angrys just usually in the back like  🧍‍♂️... he also does tiktok- he would be doing all the dances, memes, and trends.  inui: ok hear me out, i mentioned before inui has similar vibes as cha eunwoo so i’d figure his ig would give the same vibe as his (iykyk). since he’s the other visual he would be getting a TON of acting and modeling gigs. idk why but i feel like inui would be a great actor (his facial expressions during tenjiku arc, the range!). actor of the year. gets a lot of skincare commercial deals too. 

black dragons shinichiro- photos of bikes, cars, and photos where hes pretending to do a cool pose but his members (+mikey) would troll and comment “LAME!!!!!” “why tf do u look like that?” “hey leader, it’s not too late to delete this now bestie :)” does fun ig lives. on variety shows as a joke his members tease him there as well. really great at fan-service and pulls the whole “pretend boyfriend” scenario with fans (the delusional fans are gonna act up if he keeps this up...).  taiju- (if shinichiro did not exist in this au OR if you wanted both in the group) photos of him at the gym, photoshoot photos.  inui- similar to if he was in toman, his ig would just be a lot of cool and cute photos of him from behind the scenes of dramas or photoshoots. a soft visual king. occasional selfies with koko and bike photos.  kokonoi- has a personal youtube channel but he would be Drowning in sponsorship videos all from high-end designer brands. he’s just casually flexing that PPL in his vlogs. ig feed is a lot of #ootd photos or pics taken with inui. him and inui would be makeup brand ambassadors or faces of brands (ex: like jennie from blackpink represents chanel). in this case kokonoi would be the face of fendi (he wears fendi slides in the manga cover) and inui would be the face of jimmy choo (his heels in the manga cover looked like jimmy choo but i could be wrong.. but u know what i mean) 

tenjiku  izana- pretty leader has a very artsy ig feed. extremely photogenic like inui. has photoshoot photos and candid pose photos. acts in dramas time to time (gg second male lead syndrome).  kakucho- posts gym or dance practice videos on his feed but he posts rarely because he’s just too busy or forgets he actually has an ig. loves commenting on takemichi’s posts “haha no wonder ur called baka-michi!” as a joke.  kanji- posts gym photos but it’s rare because he always forgets his password.  ran- the other visual. he would be modeling for high-fashion brands and go on runway shows. also definitely gives off actor vibes (he would be constantly casted in dark action movies hahaha). loves giving fan service.  rindou- in contrast to his brother, rindou when it comes to fan service, he loves trolling fans. also he’s really good at drawing a line between fans (y’know, keeping the delusional ones in check...which means he ‘friend-zones’ them but it’s for their own good tbh idols need to remind people their boundaries). has a youtube channel where he just posts random dance practice vids and occasional vlogs. also comments under his brothers ig posts “you look stupid af in this wtf”. on variety shows people find their brotherly banter hilarious.  mutou- posts gym photos, also really awkward selfies (he doesn’t know what his angle is lmao). another member who also reminds fans of their boundaries and keeps it real. (sanzu always likes his photos though and hypes him up in the comments).  sanzu- shy baby. constantly following mutou around. posts a lot of cute selfies and random pics of shogi stuff (he tags mutou in it of course). during fan signing/autograph sessions they love putting cute headband props on him like this or this. 

bonten because this group’s concept and aesthetic is mysterious, mature, artsy, gloomy, and dark they will take this concept to the grave. (minus a few exceptions) they are invited to variety/talk-shows but never make an appearance because they want to keep the air of mystery around them. (it’s a good marketing technique).  mikey- does not have any social media. he does have a private account to lurk around but no one knows what it is.  kokonoi- has a youtube channel but it’s locked and you have to pay to get into it. posts super short vlogs and teasers. thats it. (the ultimate scam! but their fans love them too much to notice). lots of sponsored #ootd posts on ig.  kakucho- he would be modeling ONLY high fashion brands and high end editorial places. his instagram is just his exquisite and expensive modeling photos whether it be candid backstage photos from shows, candid runway walk pics/vids, pics of diff photoshoots you name it. doesn’t really comment much.  ran- visual. similar to kakucho- modeling ONLY high fashion brands and editorial places. instagram is filled with modeling photos but also some artsy scenery pics he took.  rindou- posts short artsy dancing clips (like modern dances in black&white filter) on ig.  sanzu- since he’s the other visual, he also posts a lot of his modeling/acting photos on instagram. also pretty chatty (he’s the exception) on social media and loves teasing and trolling fans. posts with a lot of random cute emojis on everything. “just ate lunch and now im off to practice hehe 🍜🍇��💃🤠🧚‍♂️💞🦋” no one really knows why he uses random emojis but it’s just endearing lmao.  kanji- no social media at all.  akashi- manager....or if you made him the rapper in this au then he too would also not have any social media. 

[prvtocol]

@badtrigger​ ( Vaas ) | random asks ( always accepting ):

[ vaas 📲 bri ] hey corpy [ vaas 📲 bri ] now that were fucking u can sent me titty pics [ vaas 📲 bri ] i realy really need at least 1 its so boring in this meeting

The light illuminating her phone’s screen easily grabs her attention over the droning on of the Director of Accounting rambling about quarter sales. Realizing the message is from him, her extortionist (and now her bedfellow), causes pause. What could he want? Phone is slid towards the edge of the table and casually confiscated onto her lap before giving the screen a quick peek. A request for… Oh dear, oh dear. Discomfort has her biting her lip. 

Outside of scam messages, this is the first time she’s been personally solicited for that. A bit forward, but then again, they are indeed on that page, aren’t they? It does not make it any less awkward. She’s not accustomed to this and some other things he’s asked of her. But can’t say she’s surprised, considering one track minds and well, it’s Vaas. Nor should he be surprised when she won’t comply. There’s no way she’s snapping that photo in the first place. Who even does that? And then sending it over falsely secure lines? Besides, she knows for a fact it would never be for his eyes only. The last thing she wants is his gang buddies and whoever else to gain a peek.

[ bri 📲 vaas ] So sorry you’re bored but I cannot. [ bri 📲 vaas ] You can have a picture of the sexy salad I had for lunch though.

[ bri 📲 vaas ] Just look at the size of those juicy cherry tomatoes!

[kusunogatari]

[ Naruto OC x Canon Ship Week 2020 - Face to Face ] [ @naruto-ocxcanon-ship-week​ || @abyssaldespair​ ] [ Suigin Ryū, Uchiha Obito ] [ Alcohol ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ Trope: Online Dating ]

Nibbling her lip, Ryū stares at the slight reflection in her mobile screen. Thumbs flicker over the keys, not quite touching in indecision.

This is the closest she’s gotten.

The concept, admittedly, is just...not one she ever saw herself using. Online dating seems so, so...weird! Lining up your face, your name, a handful of facts, and calling it good. Is that really all it takes anymore? Sure, she...doesn’t exactly have mountains of experience beyond that. Maybe she’s just old-fashioned. But putting up something akin to a mugshot to try and find love seems very...strange.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Eeping in surprise, she claws the phone to her chest, face going pink and heart pounding. “N-nothing!”

Behind her, a coworker she knows mostly only in passing perks a brow. “Whoa, sorry! You looked kinda, uh...distressed.”

Ryū heaves a small breath. “...sorry, I didn’t mean to jump so bad. I just, uh...I’m trying one of those silly dating websites, and…”

The other woman quickly perks up. “Oh! Yeah they’re kinda scary at first but I met my boyfriend on one! I bet you’ll do just fine. Just be smart about it, and it usually all works out fine.”

“Smart…?”

“Y’know...meet in public places, tell someone where you’re going. About the same as a normal date for those like us, huh?”

At that, Ryū can’t help but deflate. “...yeah, good point.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. People gotta have their pictures on there. I take a pic of any license plates and send them to someone I trust just in case.”

Brow wilting, Ryū admits, “You’re...not exactly giving me votes of confidence here.”

“Hey, gotta be prepared for the worst, but the worst hardly ever happens. Besides, a bit of chatting online usually gives a pretty good indication of if something will even work. And you can always ask friends to go on doubles, too.”

At that, Ryū doesn’t answer. She...doesn’t really have many friends to ask, let alone any with dates she’d feel like asking along. “Yeah, good point. I’ll, uh...I’ll see how it goes.”

“Cool! Good luck!” Giving a wave as she passes by, her coworker heads around a corner and out of sight.

“...what am I doing…” Ryū mumbles to herself, looking back to her nearly-completed account. “I know this isn’t gonna work…” And now the less appealing sides are at the forefront of her mind. Maybe she should just keep her nose to the grindstone and pretend she never brought this up.

...but then again…

As much as she hates to admit it, she’s lonely. Being a pharmacist might be similar to her wish to be a doctor, but it’s not quite what she wanted. It just feels like something is...missing. And while Ryū isn’t the sort to assume all her problems can be solved by a guy (or gal), she’s still pretty able to realize that her social life isn’t the best. No real close friends, passing grades with her coworkers...not even any pets. Up until now, she’s lived life in a series of grinds. School, then work, and now...it feels lacking.

Hence the idea to try the app.

“...no harm in looking,” she eventually mumbles to herself, slowly going through the rest of her profile and hitting the confirm button. “You don’t have to go on with it, but...just look. See how it works. Maybe just...chat with someone. One step at a time, okay?”

Of course, by then her break is nearly over, so she mutes her phone and heads back to work. She...only ate half her lunch, but she’s not really all that hungry anyway. Only once her shift is over does she head back to her little apartment and...give this thing a real try.

At first, it throws nothing but male profiles at her. Which is all well and good, but...it’s not all she’s interested in. Looking over a few names and faces, she eventually bucks up the courage to pick one. He’s a few years older, lives a town over, and works as a physical therapist. Not bad, right?

...ugh, wrong.

As soon as they start chatting, she knows this...isn’t going to work. He’s all Mister Nice Guy, subtly bragging about himself and leaving only certain questions open for her in turn: the only things he wants to hear about, and...things she can easily see through as shallow. Eventually she manages to get him to shut up and quickly deletes him.

Okay...not a great first impression, but it’s not gonna be perfect the first time she tries. This isn’t a fairytale, after all. So, she tries another. And another.

After over two weeks of duds that don’t even get past initial chats, she’s about ready to give up.

Laying on her bed spread-eagle with a sigh, she stares up at the ceiling. What started as a vague inking is turning into nothing but a source of frustration. Not exactly what she signed up for. Weighing her options, Ryū eventually stirs when her phone gives an all-too-familiar notification sound.

Another match...wonderful.

Sitting up with a grunt, she opens the message and looks over yet another profile. At first glance, it’s just another guy. Ugh. The amount of lady-seeking ladies has been depressingly low, but...apparently those are usually on their own kind of sites. So, for now, she entertains herself with this one.

Obito Uchiha...huh. Vaguely sounds like her own Japanese roots. There’s a small spark of curiosity, adjusting her stance slightly. Short dark hair, dark eyes, and...well, his pics aren’t the clearest (he clearly knows his good side (or what he’s assuming is his good side since...it’s all she sees)). But she spies a cat. That’s a win. She likes cats. A glance at his actual profile shows a like of sweets, cats (aha!), and a dislike of...aubergines? Googling that, there’s a hum of understanding. It’s eggplant! She...didn’t know that...whoops. The rest of the summary (stuff about ‘being extreme’ and ‘having abs’) gets her to giggle.

Well...might as well give it a try.

Giving the okay, she opens up the chat window, nibbling her lip in thought. What should she say…?

Hello!

A bit surprised, Ryū jolts slightly, not expecting the quick response! ...hi!

I didn’t think you’d accept it so fast!

And I didn’t think you’d say hello so quickly either!

Oh, sorry...was that too fast?

The apology begets a subconscious smile. No, not at all! My phone is usually pretty quiet is all. Sorry if I’m awkward, I’m...still kinda new at this.

Ha, me too. I haven’t had too many matches yet, so I’m still practicing.

Guess we can practice together! Though I have to ask you…

...eh?

What’s your kitty’s name?

Oh! Her name is Tenebris.

Aww, I love that name!

She’s my lady, haha! Helps me reel in the girls ;D

Ryū can’t help a snort. Well it seems to be working. I don’t have any pets, sadly…

What? None at all?

No...I work a lot so I haven’t gotten around to it. And I don’t want them to be lonely!

Bah, cats are good at being alone. Feed them and clean their box and you’re fine.

I’ll have to think about it, haha~

After a few minutes, Ryū realizes...this is the longest she’s talked to someone on here yet. Sure, it was a little stiff to start, but by some grace they just sort of...fell into conversation. No posturing or anything. It’s rather...refreshing! Encouraged, she keeps texting as she starts working on her dinner.

So what kind of work do you do?

I’m a pharmacist! Not quite the doctor I planned on, but it works.

Ohhh, wow!

What about you?

There’s quiet for a few minutes, and Ryū can’t help but wonder if that was a bad question. But then Obito replies, Sorry, my cat got stuck behind the couch...I uh...am currently working on a garbage truck part time…

She blinks. That’s...very random. Nothing wrong with that. It’s an important job, after all!

Eh, yeah...not very charming though, is it?

Oh, pffft. I stand behind a counter all day and give people medicine over and over. It’s not exactly exciting most days. We all make our ends meet somehow.

I guess that’s true.

Smiling at her phone, Ryū keeps cooking and chatting, giving play-by-plays as he asks what she’s making.

Do you like cooking?

Mhm! Food’s one of those things that’s both a necessity, and yet can be fancy when you want it to be, so...I thought it would be good to learn. And it’s a lot of fun!

I’m...okay at it.

Maybe I can give you some lessons down the road, hm?

You would?

Sure! It’d be something fun to do.

Like a first date?

At that, Ryū pauses. Right...dating. That’s what this is all for. She almost forgot… Sure! If that’s something you’d like to do. I guess dinner and a movie is pretty common for that. We’ll just make our own!

I’d really like that!

Cheeks warming, Ryū beams at the screen. I guess...it’s a date! Eventually. Whenever we can make something work, and maybe talk a little more…?

Sure! I take a lot of random side jobs so I can be a little flaky…

That’s okay - we’ll just keep chatting until then. You’re actually the first person that’s been fun to talk to…

He sends a big smile emoji. Success!

You’ll have to think about what we should make! I have to warn you, I like making dessert, too…

Oh no...my biggest weakness…

And no eggplant, right?

Eugh, no.

Haha, noted!

The conversation runs well into the evening until Ryū admits she’d best get to bed. Guess I’ll talk to you some more later, okay?

Mhm!

Say hi to Tenebris for me!

Haha, I will! Goodnight Ryū.

Night, Obito.

Checking her other messages, Ryū plugs in her mobile to charge before mulling over the evening. As she does, a smile slowly pulls at her lips.

Well, she can’t make any assumptions yet, but...this is a good start.

Chatting with Obito quickly becomes a routine. Though not much of a texter before, she checks in and quips with him throughout the day. He tells her about his latest jobs, and she notes anything out of the ordinary at work. Days blend into a week, and then two.

“So…”

“Hm?”

Leaning against the counter, Ryū’s coworker smirks. “Seems to me you hooked one, huh?”

Her cheeks flush pink. “Um...maybe…”

“You haven’t put your phone down for more than fives minutes all day!”

The pink gets darker as the other woman laughs.

“I’m glad! So, you gonna see him?”

“Yeah, eventually...I think we’re both a little nervous.”

“That’s adorable. You’ll have to let me know how it goes! Been nice seeing you look so bright lately.”

Ryū blinks. “...really?”

“Yeah. No offense, but...ever since I’ve worked here, you’ve been so quiet and to yourself. But lately you’ve just seemed more upbeat and...I dunno, out there.”

The observation admittedly takes her a bit off-guard. “...oh…”

“It’s just nice to see you look happy, that’s all. I know a job like this one’s kinda drudgy. Glad you’ve got something to keep your chin up.” With a smile, the other pharmacist straightens and heads back to work.

Still a bit struck, Ryū mulls all that over. True, she’s always been one to keep her nose to the grindstone. Maybe having a bit of a social outlet just...got her going to opening up some more.

...huh.

So...any openings in your schedule coming up?

Uh...I haven’t really checked lately. One sec!

Waiting for Obito’s reply, Ryū nibbles her thumbnail. She’s going to do it. She’s going to ask him over. By now she’s gotten to know him pretty well. She’s always been able to trust her gut, and...she believes she can trust him.

Though just in case, she’ll be letting her neighbor know when he comes to visit.

Just to be safe.

So I think I actually have Sunday clear. Does that work with you?

Yeah! I’m always on a Monday through Friday schedule, so weekends are almost always good with me!

Okay...cool!

Any idea what you wanna make?

Make?

Yeah! Remember, we talked about cooking…?

Ohhh, yeah! Uh...honestly I don’t have any preference.

You sure?

Yeah, just no aubergines.

I remember, haha.

Should I bring anything?

Nah, I’ll handle it. Though I guess if you have a movie you’d like to watch?

Ooh, okay! Uh...any you don’t like?

Maybe nothing too gory…?

Aw, that’s no fun!

I saw enough in medical school, believe me...it’s not fun.

Okay, okay. I’ll pick something.

And with a few other details hashed out...they have a date scheduled.

Ryū’s stomach can’t stop fluttering: both in excitement, and in nerves. She hasn’t really dated since college...what if she does something stupid? Offends him somehow? Or something just goes...wrong?

Okay, no, stop it. It’s gonna be fine. You’ve talked a lot, so...no need to be nervous. Just do it!

By the time Sunday rolls around, she’s as ready as she’ll ever be.

Fiddling with her hair in the bathroom mirror (can she EVER get it to do what she wants?), she jumps as someone knocks on the door. Trying to manage her nerves, she peers through the little peephole, spying what indeed looks to be Obito.

Taking a moment to steady her breath, she pulls open the door and looks up just as he looks over.

...oh.

She always thought his photo gallery on his profile was a bit...empty. At first she hadn’t really noticed that all of Obito’s photos had been taken showing one side of his face.

So only now, with him looking straight at her, does she see what he’s been hiding.

The apprehension in his face clearly shows he’s awaiting her reaction, and at first she can only blink. Eyes naturally slide to the right side where a plethora of scars mar the skin from his brow to his chin. One even reaches up into his lip.

But though it’s a surprise by novelty, it otherwise does nothing to hinder the blush in her face.

...gosh he’s handsome.

Her gaze lingers on the scars for only a moment before lifting back to his eyes, cheeks rosy and giving a demure smile. “...hi.”

“...hey.”

There’s a few beats of awkward silence, the pair of them stuck staring at each other. “...s-sorry! Um...come on in!” Ryū steps aside, going hotter in the face. A nice button-up shirt and clean jeans make him look quite snazzy. Seems her blouse and skirt wasn’t too much or too little. They hadn’t really breached any ideas about how formal to be…

Stepping in, Obito glances around before clearing his throat. From behind his back he draws a little bouquet of flowers. “Er...for you.”

Ryū’s greys alight with delight. “Oh!” It’s cliché as all hell, but she loves them. Delicately accepting the blooms, she gives them a sniff before beaming at him. “Thank you! I, er...I don’t have anything for you…”

“That’s okay! I mean, food’s good with me, heh.”

Giving a giggle, Ryū retreats to the kitchen to put them in some water, setting the vase on her little table. “There…!”

“You...have a really nice apartment!”

“Thank you...I’m always either working or tired, so I don’t manage to mess it up much,” she laughs. “I tried to make it kinda...cute. I’m not exactly an interior designer.”

“No, it’s nice. It suits you.”

That makes her go pink all over again. “...s-so! Um...are you hungry…?”

Obito gives a grin. “Always!”

“Okay! Um...I thought we’d do something a bit...basic? Just in case? Do you like spaghetti…?”

“Yeah!”

“...okay! Cool. Um…” Awkwardness creeping back up, she claps her hands and giggles nervously. “Then, I...guess we’ll give it a try!”

The pair move back into the kitchen, where Ryū already has everything sorted out and ready to go. “Wow...looks professional.”

“Oh gosh, it’s just…” She gestures vaguely. “...I wanted to be ready so we wouldn’t waste any time…” Turning on the heat under the water, she thinks to ask, “...no food allergies, right?”

“No. At least...none I’ve found…? And I’ve had spaghetti before, it should be fine, hm?”

“Okay!”

A bit stuttery at first, she starts guiding him through her process, letting him take most of the reins and acting more as a guide. Obito listens attentively, looking exceedingly focused.

...it’s adorable.

“Okay, so with the grease drained off, we can add our sauce...and once it’s all combined, that’ll be that!” She, in the meantime, worked on a salad mix. “And the garlic bread should be about done, too!”

“You make this all seem so easy.”

She flushes pink. “It...just takes practice! And you did really well!”

“I had a good teacher.”

Once it’s all finished, the pair of them ferry things to the table. “Okay...you try it first.”

“Me?”

“Mhm! You made it, right?”

Glancing to his plate, Obito twirls some noodles onto his fork, lightly pink at Ryū’s watching as he takes the bite and chews. “...it’s good!”

Beaming again, she follows suit. And it’s perfect! Mouth still full, she gives a thumbs-up, making him laugh. Between spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, and a little wine, they get through dinner with hearty conversation and increasing laughter.

“I dunno why I was so nervous,” she admits once they’re done, a cheek leaning against a fist as she twirls the last few sips of her wine. “I mean...we’ve been talking so much already. Guess I just felt kinda...out of practice. Y’know?”

“Yeah, me too. Though I try to bravado my way through things.”

“Well, we got through it. Should we play the movie…?”

“Sure!” He holds up a thumbdrive, grinning. “From my collection.”

“Oho!”

With a refill of wine, they move into the little living room of the apartment, Obito hooking up the TV and starting the film.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see!”

“Not gory, right?”

“Nooo. But...maybe a little scary.”

“Scary is okay. I like spooks. Just not lotsa blood and flesh and…” Her nose wrinkles. “...y’know.”

“Ha, yeah.”

They settle on the one couch she has, and at first sit...a little ways apart. They’d had opposite sides of the table before, and...well, this is new. But like a couple of dumb teenagers, they slowly meander their way closer, testing the other’s boundaries as they go until Ryū finds herself snuggled up against Obito’s side, head on his shoulder.

Obito, just out of her line of sight, is clearly ecstatic.

The movie starts out tame, but true to his word, it quickly takes on a rather creepy tone. Transfixed, Ryū stares at the screen, slowly worming her way further and further into the dip of Obito’s side.

...if she weren’t so focused on the movie, she’d realize that was likely his plan.

Obito, on the other hand, has technically already seen this one, and instead mostly watches for her reactions. The closer they get to a big scare, the more often he looks, biting back a grin until it finally happens -!

Shrieking in terror, Ryū scrambles for someplace to hide, and...ends up burrowing into his chest with a string of garbled, frightened nonsense as Obito does his best not to laugh.

“You okay?”

“I -! That -!” Her head shakes with a whimper, still hiding. “Nope. Nope nope nope.”

“Want me to stop it?”

“...nooo…” One grey peeks out, finding the screen a bit more bearable now. “...that was fricken’ terrifying! Ohhh my gosh!”

He just snickers, ignoring her continuing whines of discomfort. “It’s almost over, don’t worry.”

To his delight, she remains half-perched on his lap for the rest of the film. Once the credits start to creep up the screen, she loses her tension and goes limp. “...I almost had a heart attack…”

“Aw…”

“I mean it was good! But cripes, I wasn’t ready...eugh…”

Obito rubs a hand along her back, still clearly amused. “Gonna be able to sleep tonight?”

“...I better, I have work in the morning…”

He apologizes, watching as she tears herself from the couch and disappears into the kitchen. “...Ryū?”

No answer.

Brow furrowing, he makes to follow just in time to see her pull a pan out of the refrigerator. “What’s that?”

“Peach cobbler,” she sniffs, setting it on the counter and then fetching vanilla ice cream. “This is my reward for surviving your movie.”

“You’re gonna eat the whole pan?”

She shoots him a pout. “...maybe.”

He mirrors the look. “...I want some…”

“You have to promise never to scare me like that again.”

“Okay, okay. But wasn’t it at least a little fun…?”

Scooping the food into bowls, she thinks back over how nice and warm it was in his arms...and she could smell his cologne… “...maybe a little.”

They stay standing in the kitchen, leaned against the counter as they eat their dessert. Though not as lively as before, they chat in the quiet.

“So...on a scale of one to ten, how was our date?”

Ryū sucks on her spoon with a thoughtful hum. “...a nine.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why not a ten?”

“Because you scared the bejesus out of me!” After a moment to pout, she asks, “...you?”

“A ten.”

“...really?”

“Good food, good movie...good company. What’s not to love?”

She...isn’t sure how to respond to that, so she takes another bite to excuse her silence.

“We’ll have to try cooking something else next time. Something spicy!”

“Not too spicy, it’ll make me sick!”

“Whaaat?”

“I have a delicate stomach...nothing too greasy, either.”

“That’s all the good food!” he laughs.

“It’s not my fault!”

“Fine, fine...we’ll figure something out. I’ll have to find some of my grandmother’s recipes. From Quebec.”

That earns a blink. She thought she heard traces of an accent in his voice, but didn’t want to assume. “...sure! I’d really like that.”

But eventually, the bowls and the wine glasses are empty. The movie is over. The hour is growing late.

It’s time to call it a night.

...but it’s clear neither of them really want to.

Obito offers to help tidy up, and that helps take a little more time. But once that’s done, there’s really no more excuses.

“...well…” Ryū fidgets a bit. “Guess I’ll...say goodnight?”

“Yeah, I better go. Don’t want to keep you up to late. And I’ve got my route in the morning.”

“Mm…”

She walks him to the front door, the pair of them lingering in the opening for a long moment. “...be safe on your way home. Text me to let me know you made it okay, all right?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“And to say goodnight.”

“...again.”

“...yeah, again.”

Another pause.

Indecision seeming to make her bones vibrate, Ryū eventually makes up her mind. Stepping up a bit closer, she lays a hand against Obito’s chest and - with a bit of posturing up on her toes - she gives him a feather-light press of her lips to his.

Flashing pink, he nonetheless reciprocates, both of them easing slowly back apart.

“...goodnight, Obito.”

“...night, Ryū. I’ll...talk to you later.”

Nodding with a shy smile, she watches him head down the hall before forcing herself to shut the door. For a moment, she stands and holds the knob...then turns and leans against it with a sigh.

...it seems so quiet in here now…

Eyes lift to her little dining room table, where the flowers he brought her are still sitting in their vase. The sight brings her a small smile. As much as she’s sad to see him go...well, that just means she’ll get to look forward to seeing him again next time.

Next time...what a lovely concept.

Heaving a more contented breath, she makes her way back into the apartment. Time to get ready for bed, and wait to hear he got home okay. Then she’ll sleep, and start all over again.

...but at least now there’s something to look forward to.

     All righty, another day, this one with Ryū’s ship with @abyssaldespair​‘s Obito, set in a modern verse! I had...several ideas for these two, and picking one was difficult and ended up costing me time BUT, it’s done xD      Hopefully I can get MORE done :’D      But yes! This was actually an idea Meg submitted to me, with the premise based largely on Obito hiding his appearance on his profile until the big reveal! Ryū, of course, doesn’t mind his scars no matter the verse. She still thinks he’s one cute cookie x3      Anywho, I guess that’s...really all there is to say for this one! Hope ya like it Meg, and I better get to work on more drabbles xD

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Unparalleled Service [BTS V]

Plot: Your Instagram obsessed friend drags you into Gucci for the sole purpose of trying on a pair of their iconic shoes just to get a pic worth posting for bragging rights. You reluctantly accompany her and try to avoid making faces, feeling slight pity for the clerks who will be wasting their time for her dumb photo. “May I get you some water before I get your shoes? Did you want to try other styles?”

Rating: PG (Language)

Characters: Gucci Retail Clerk!Taehyung x Reader (Any gender), Madison OC

Notes: Part of the Unparalleled Service series I’ve planned. I own nothing except for the idea and setting. Inspired by the author’s personal encounters with the rare friendly or welcoming clerks in high end brand boutiques. This one was inspired by some friends in college who would venture in Louboutin to photograph themselves in a pair of the iconic red-soled heels, but wouldn’t purchase them.

“BITCH! How did she get that?!”

You snapped your head over to the young woman seated in your passenger seat, who was preoccupied with her Instagram feed, instead of helping you find parking. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted one car starting to back up out of their parking space and you flicked your directional on immediately.

“Who are we talking about?” you sighed as you watched the large SUV inch backwards out of their spot.

Madison paused, a long fingernail hovering over the screen of her phone. She thrust the phone into your face, which had a picture of a girl taking a selfie in a full length mirror.

“Do you remember that snot who wouldn’t let me pledge Alpha Phi?!” Madison demanded. The acrylic fingernail pointed to the girl’s feet, which were adorned with fur-lined slip-on loafers.

“Um I kind of remember her?” you offered, eyes focused on the empty spot. You cranked the wheel and carefully drove the car into the space, adjusting it so it was straight.

Madison brought her phone closer to her face and scowled as she scrolled down to see how many likes and comments the horrible sorority chick had gotten. “I hate her so, so much!” she groused. “Just because her parents had enough money to gift her an Audi and now she’s wearing Gucci on her feet –”

“Mads, how do we know she actually bought them?” you asked, putting the car in Park.

Madison paused and a wicked grin spread across her face. “You’re right Y/N! Oh wait, now I see it’s in the boutique! No way that bish actually bought those fur slippers! God, they look so ugly with her outfit!”

You exited the car and Madison got out, closing the door behind her. She switched to Facebook so she could check in at the mall you were at, making sure to tag you. You sighed as you locked the car, shaking your head.

“Didn’t you say you needed to buy a dress for something?” you asked. You coughed as a huge whiff of perfume hit your nose from the nearby counter, walking quickly to get as far away as possible.

“Oh yeah, but there’s nothing I like so far,” she huffed as she put back a lipstick she was trying on. “The cuts are awful and the colors are all wrong for the occasion.”

She pulled out her phone to snap a selfie of her with the new lip color, tagging the brand in her caption. Her fingers flew across the screen as she posted the selfie to Instagram.

“Hey, isn’t there a Gucci here?” she asked as she looked up from her phone.

You nodded and pointed to the directory, which showed the Gucci boutique wedged between other brand shops near a large Neiman Marcus. Madison dashed up to the directory, eyes scanning for your distance from the boutique.

“What are you thinking?” you asked. Part of you had a terrible feeling that she was going to try to do something stupid and petty.

“We’re going in,” she declared. “I’m gonna try on their clothes and shoes and show her how it’s done.” She took off for the boutique, heels clicking loudly on the floor.

You had to weave around other shoppers to reach her and keep up with her pace. “Mads, she’s a spoiled brat – everyone knows she’s never gonna make anything of herself if she doesn’t focus on the important stuff now. Besides, she’s probably asking to get robbed by posting all her bougie shots with every designer good available.”

She ignored you, eyes set on the high end boutique with a bit of a line outside.

“You can’t even afford a pair!”

Madison whirled around and tilted her head. “It doesn’t mean I can get a better selfie for the ‘Gram, right?”

You tried not to groan loudly as you followed behind her, wishing that she hadn’t picked you for her shopping excursion. She didn’t have a car, which meant she was only chumming you up because you had one and it didn’t look like a pile of junk. Maybe you’d force her to buy you lunch for the pain she was putting you through.

She slipped into the line and you fell in behind her. She checked into Gucci on Facebook, then pulled up the site to look at their shoes. She flipped through the options and shared two different pairs with you.

“Which do you think? Princetown Slippers or Ace Sneakers?”

You pointed to the sneakers and explained that they’d look better with her current ensemble, which was a black crop top and shorts, with a kimono-style shrug on top. She agreed and began musing if she wanted to try on a sweater or some clothing item.

“They’re probably not gonna let you try on the shoes and the clothes together,” you pointed out.

She sighed and murmured that you were right. She stepped up as the next pair were admitted into the store, the security guard informing her that she was next.

“Besides, it’s the shoes that matter,” she said.

You nodded as you scrolled through your e-mails, opening one from the H&R rep who helped with your taxes. Your eyes skimmed through the body of the message, which shared that you were getting back some money, which would be in your account shortly, due to the direct deposit option you went with.

“Please come on in – welcome,” the security guard said as he gestured for you and Madison to enter.

Madison thanked him and you followed behind her, trying to keep up as she moved past older clients looking at purses, tourists checking out the brand belts, and headed straight for the shoe wall. She walked over to the display of sneakers and picked up the sample Ace sneaker to look closely at it.

You came up beside her and tried not to balk at the price. She didn’t bat an eye as she picked it up and scanned the other displays for pairs to try on.

“Hello miss, were you interested in trying those on?” a deep voice asked.

Both of you turned to see a slender young man in a neat suit and Gucci tie addressing Madison. You resisted the urge to do a double take, as his youthful, boyish face was a stark contrast to the warm tenor voice you heard.

Madison nodded as she put the sample sneaker in his palm, sharing that she needed a size 8. She also picked up a clunky platform sneaker with bejeweled straps and asked for her size in that style as well. He nodded and gestured to a velvet couch nearby.

“Is there something you would like to try?” he asked, turning his attention to you.

You shook your head and offered a small smile, jabbing a thumb at Madison. “I’m only here for fashion advice.”

Madison took a seat on the velvet couch and fixed her hair in her camera, which was switched to selfie mode. You waited until she was done before sitting down next to her.

“May I get you two some water while you’re waiting?” the young man asked.

“I’m fine,” you said.

“Oh please!” Madison chirped. “Sparkling would be fantastic.”

The clerk nodded and promised he would return with the sizes and water. “My name is Taehyung – I’ll be back in a bit.” He excused himself to the back and Madison began filtering her latest selfie with special effects.

“Sexy voice,” she murmured as she watched him leave. “Wonder how old he is?”

“Hmm...” Madison hummed as she tried on the platform sneakers. She walked over to the mirror and studied them from different angles. She quickly snapped a pic and checked it out. “Y/N, what do you think?”

“I don’t think those are you,” you replied.

Taehyung pursed his lips and admitted that he felt those were very trendy, but not very classic. “They’re fun with your outfit,” he said as he looked at Madison, “but I think if you go to pair them with other things that have a busy print or design, they can be a challenge. I’ve had some clients tell me they are a bit awkward to wear. Definitely a statement piece if you want that. Are these your first Gucci shoes?”

Madison nodded and Taehyung shook his head. “It’s your choice Miss, but I think if you were to buy your first pair of Gucci shoes, I’d choose something that can go with almost anything.”

Madison agreed and walked back to the couch, removing the platforms from her feet. She retrieved the Ace sneakers and put them on, tying the ends tightly.

She walked over to the mirror and did the same thing: checking them from different angles, snapping a picture, then asking you for your opinion.

“Your legs look long,” you offered. “They look nice.”

Taehyung agreed and shared that it was a staple shoe for the brand, due to the versatility and style. “It’s lucky you came in when you did – the average sizes are hard to keep in stock,” he said.

Madison pouted as she bent over to touch the tongues of the sneakers. “I mean, they’re nice, but the tongue’s so stiff.”

“They do give after a couple of wears,” Taehyung promised. “I own a pair and I wore thick socks the first few times to help with the break-in process. They can be worn with casual or slightly formal looks.”

Madison nodded and put her hands on her hips. She sighed as she walked back to the couch and slipped them off. In one hand she picked up the platform, the other, the Ace sneaker. “I mean I like them for different reasons, but I don’t know. Um, could I think about it? Maybe get your card?”

Taehyung nodded as he retrieved them from inside his suit jacket. He presented the cream colored card, embossed with his name, work cell, and work e-mail address, one for each of you.

“If you have any other questions, please let me know,” he said before shaking your hands.

“Y/N! Check out my post!” she yelled.

You looked up from reviewing your notes for your test and saw Madison had posted her selfies from Gucci as a collage. The images gathered many likes and comments, which seemed to make it happy.

“So your post is better than the Alpha Phi girl’s?” you asked.

She nodded excitedly and rambled how everyone on Instagram was complimenting her, saying she slayed. Apparently she gathered some more followers afterwards and you internally rolled your eyes. She never paid a visit to the shop again or bothered to contact Taehyung after her post. She actually hung onto the card for a few days (a record!), before tossing it and saying that it was fun wandering in there.

“Did you think about actually using your money to buy one pair?” you asked as you flipped to the next page in your notebook.

“Naw, I’ve already got my sights on that Pat McGrath launch – gonna buy all of Queen’s collection and do a look,” she declared. “Plus I wanna get the special table at Benihana for my b-day with champagne flowing.”

Of course you are, you thought, trying to tune her out.

“It’s a big birthday!” your sister reminded you.

“I didn’t forget,” you sighed. “What are you getting him?”

“I’m getting the golf club he’s been eyeing, plus a few rounds at the club,” she said.

“Maybe a nice tie, you know he loves a good tie,” you responded.

“Predictable, but I know it’s a useful gift,” your sister replied. “Where?”

You picked up the card and twirled it between your fingers. “Gucci.”

“Welcome back Y/N,” he greeted you. He tilted his head and asked where Madison was.

You shrugged and replied that she was indecisive, but you were here for a birthday gift for your father, who was turning 60 in a few days. He nodded to show he understood and led you over to the area where the ties were kept.

“Is there a popular design?” you asked.

Taehyung pulled out a few options and explained the details of each one. You picked up a striped one with a few bees on it and studied it. Then you picked up one in a red silk with the Gucci stripes at the bottom with a single bee within the stripe pattern.

You held up the second one and declared this was the one. Taehyung smiled and replied that he was going to grab a new one for you and have it gift wrapped for you. He accepted it from you and left to check the backroom for it.

One of Taehyung’s colleagues led you to the register to check out, asking you to wait off to the side. You withdrew your debit card, resting your arms on the counter as you waited for him to return. In a few moments he emerged, Gucci bag in hand with ribbon tied on the handles.

“I put it in a tie box with ribbon and there’s a blank card there for you to fill out,” he explained as he placed the bag by the register. “Do you need a gift receipt?”

“Sure, but I’m 99% certain he’s going to like it,” you replied. You swiped your debit card and entered your pin on the screen, before signing.

“Please let me know if there’s anything else I may assist you with,” Taehyung said as he walked around with the bag in hand. With his free hand, he shook yours and thanked you for remembering him.

“Thank you for all the help,” you said with a smile as you took the bag.

“I’ll walk you out,” he replied as he gestured to the front. “It’s a very nice thing to give your father.”

“60 is an important birthday,” you said. “I’m sorry about Madison – she’s just–”

“Selfie?” he asked, lowering his voice.

You blinked and he flashed you a knowing smile.

“Happens more than you think,” he sighed. “I get it, it’s fun to come in and pretend you can buy them. Good thing she didn’t get one of my colleagues – he would have called her out on social media.”

You sighed and replied that you told her that she needed to be the better person and stop worrying about her “image” online. “She’s worried about her appearance and popularity now,” you explained. “I’m the lackey who had a decent car that could take her to the mall in the first place.”

“I appreciate you remembering me and coming back,” he said, pausing at the entrance. “Really, if there’s anything you need, please reach out again.”

[lookslike-wemadeit]

January 2011

1- At 12:13 AM, Louis tweets his first tweet of 2011 “#harrylouyear <<< GENIUS ! :) HAPPY NEW YEAR :)”

1- Hannah tweets at 12:43 AM “My head is pounding from Louis playing 'The Musical Theatre Game' aghhh xx”

Louis rides the train to London to see Stan

1- Hannah tweets her NYE with Louis “@AlexheartsQuiff I stayed at home with Louis & my sister and played Smurf Village hahaha xxx”

1- Harry spends New Year’s Day with family

2- Louis tweets “So excited for today :) xx”

2- Show at the Forum in Hatfield, Hertfordshire

2- Harry tweets about the show “Brilliant gig at The Forum! Got a brilliant book from Italy:) Thanks You Everyone!! :D”

2- Jay tweets Robin “@robintwist My beautiful little sugarbreasts :) So lovely to have you on twitter land xx “ (Louis mum and Harry's step dad)

2- Robin responds to Jay “@JayTommo my little swamp duck, why aren't you following Mr Womderful? “

2- Louis tweets “Great gig today , thank you Hatfield :) we love you !!!!

2- next to you during the concert

3- Dusty posts Ted makes me feel like the only cat in the world :)

3- he also tweets- going to watch a film with the best boyfriend in the world

3 - Harry goes shopping in Manchester with his cousins

4- Dusty posts a picture of flowers he got for Ted. And a video and my boyfriend is sexy

4- Louis tweets “Big shout out too @joekenners thanks for tonight !!!“

4- Harry tweets about the game “Off to the football :D  Not much is better than a trip to Old Trafford with the father @louis_Tomlinson and @rioferdy5 :) .x”

4- Harry & Louis go to Rosso for dinner and later drinks

4- Harry tweets again about what a great night it was “Great night with @louis_Tomlinson , @ashwils84 , @joekenners and @rioferdy5 :) .x”

4- Louis tweets “Niall has been hacked so ignore his funny tweets ha”

4- Louis tweets a picture of him and Harry with Nemanja Vidic before they’re even home “Me Harry and Vidic http://yfrog.com/h6y7hdj”

4- 20 minutes later Louis tweets again “Great night with @Harry_styles and @anton_Ferdinand !!!“ Anton was not there. Rio had tagged the wrong Louis (Louie Spence) in a tweet earlier in the evening and Louis was getting him back for it.

4- Harry & Louis have a sleepover at Harry’s house in Holmes Chapel

4- Louis tweets “@AshWills84 unlucky mate I'm just sat at home drinking tea haha good to see you mate !”

4- Louis tweets at 1:54AM “sleep over at Harrys :)”

4- Louis tweets X Factor contestant John Wilding who was eliminated at Judge’s Houses in 2010 “miss you man !!”

4- Louis tweets “:)” in response to a fan telling him he was lucky for sleeping over at Harry’s

5-Louis tweets Rio Ferdinand “@rioferdy5 when you gonna come play for doncaster rovers then boss haha”

5- Louis tweets Joe Kennedy who asks Louis “haha have u seen ok today? jk.” Louis responds “no what does it say ? X”

5- OK! tweets article “One Direction fan Rio Ferdinand catches up with Harry and Louis at the footie”

5- Louis goes home to Doncaster late in the afternoon. He hangs out with Hannah at her house for about 3 hours

5- Louis tweets “Just got @BrunoMars ' album... what a talented guy ! Great album!!!” He was talking about Doo-Wops & Hooligans

6- Zayn & Louis ride down to Brighton together in the afternoon

6- Louis tweets while in the car “Hello everyone :) x”

6- Louis tweets asking if anyone has the unauthorized One Direction biography “Anyone got this a to z book ? X”

6- Louis tweets the Larry Stylinson Twitter account “@LarryStylinson :) have a nice day x”

6- Louis tweets Aiden Grimshaw “@Mr_Grimshaw well my name is Aiden and I smell of poo poo and still wee the bed !!”

6- Louis tweets Rio Ferdinand “@rioferdy5 man up !!”

6 - Louis tweets “@LoveForAnneCox big love for Anne cox :)” (Harry's mum)

6 - Louis tweets “@SupportHStyles hollister and that is a silly thing to say cos I support Harry x”

6- Louis tweets “Damn I miss all the interactive stuff like megamind :(”

6- Louis tweets Rebecca Ferguson’s old account “@beccaxferguson good thanks lovely how are you superstar :) ? X”

6 - Louis tweets Niall “@NiallOfficial poopoo”

6- Louis tweets Rebecca Ferguson again “@beccaxferguson ha you miss us anyway!! Can't wait for the tour x”

6- At 8PM, Louis tweets “Let's start a trend :) any ideas ?”

6- At 8:20PM, Louis tweets “More trends ....?”

6- At 8:30PM, Louis tweets “If it trends world wide I will tweet an never seen before picture :)”

6- At 8:47PM, Louis tweets “If you want that unseen picture get tweeting :)"

6- At 9PM, Louis tweets “Two trends related to me love it !!! I love you all !!!!”

6- Louis posts “never before seen” picture of him and Harry before the first live show “Before the 1st live show http://yfrog.com/gym6leyj“

6- 15 minutes later, Jay tweets “Silly Ol' @Louis_Tomlinson for tweeting a photo a previously seen one :) Louis aged 6 xx http://plixi.com/p/68274395″

6-9: The boys in Brighton doing “band stuff,” including recording “I Want”

9- Harry’s friend, Ashley, tweets “harry would go a hint of gay for Louis, he never shuts up about him ;)HA!”

9- Harry posts picture of him and Louis playing with light sabers at 9:30 pm. I think that was taken in the studio in Brighton. Hannah said Louis had the light sabers in his car forever, but didn’t have the Clio anymore at this point. He sold the car before moving to London from X Factor. “Star Wars Is Always Cool. Enough Said.

10- The boys move into the X Factor rehearsal hotel, The Richmond Hill Hotel in Surrey

10- Harry (and the other boys?) have dinner at Nando’s

10- Harry tweets “ And i say,What a way for the Ice to break.....”

10- Harry tweets “ Night Everyone!!  I leave you with this, "The Awkward Moment When............................................" :) “ at 11:19 PM

10- Harry tweets link to video of father and daughter doing a cover of “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes at 11:24 PM

10- Harry tweets lyrics to “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes at 11:32 PM “ We laugh until we think we’ll die,Barefoot on a summer night..Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you :D night .x “

10- Zayn tweets at 11:35 PM he’s “chillin with @harrystyles :),” tags the wrong Harry on twitter

11-The boys record “Gotta Be You” in southwest London with Steve Mac

12- Zayn’s birthday

12- The boys take Zayn out to lunch for his birthday

12- Harry tweets “The awkward moment when your mum walks past the shop at dinner time and the whole of One Direction start shouting milf -.-  hahaha!!“

12- Harry then tweets “I feel like I should tweet something not directed at the mother now.....a Turtle wearing a helicopter hat. Done. :D”

12- Niall says Louis sleep walks “In the night louis started sleepwalkin, he got into my bed, I pushed him off and he sat on the floor singin the tune t jungle book!wierd”

13- Harry gets a haircut

13- Sugarscape tweets “Harry and Louis are dancing with each other aahhhhh!”

13- mutual we discussed it

Lots of flirting

Pretty much always touching

louis slapped Harry's bum

13- Louis posts “Secret Video Diary” from X Factor on twitter which is about 3 minutes of him searching for Harry

13- Dinner at Nando’s

14- Someone on Twitter claims to work for Sugarscape and says they were at the shoot the previous day; Says Harry asked for her number; the official Sugarscape twitter says they’ve never heard of the person and they were not at the shoot

15- G-A-Y performances,1 public and 1 private, at Heaven nightclub in Central London; The owner of the club booked the boys for his birthday party; Hannah got to the club around 11:30PM, waited in line with fans and stayed in a separate hotel room with friends

16- Harry posts picture of him and Louis with Brian May from Queen at 6:58 PM “ Brian May.....Hero.

16- pictures of all the boys together they are clingy

16- The boys go to the JLS concert at the O2 Arena in London

17-Choreography rehearsals in Surrey for X Factor tour

17- pictures of One Direction outside Richmond Hill Hotel

17- Niall tweets he ate Domino’s with Harry & Louis around 9:30 PM “ Just had dominos with @Harry_Styles and @Louis_Tomlinson ..harry just had sweetcorn on his “

19- Article published saying they were thrown out of “health club” for rowdy behavior; In actuality, they were scolded for playing around in the pool at their hotel

19- Harry tweets “I'm being serenaded by Zayn :P" w/ picture

19- Harry tweets “Finally something to do in our hotel rooms...but word of warning, xbox kinnect is tricky in a tiny hotel room :D haha!”

19- Photoshoot

20-23- Days off

20- Louis tweets from the One Direction Twitter account “  Morning everyone , have a lovely day :) - Louis :) xx”

20- About 90 minutes later, Louis tweets from his own account about official One Direction Twitter account “Everyone follow @onedirection !! We will all be using the group twitter alot more as well as our personal accounts :) #followonedirection”

20- At about 7:54pm, the One Direction account (Louis), tweets “likes Who Let the Dogs Out by Baha Men on Ping http://itun.es/iFV6dW  #iTunes ”

20- At 7:54 pm, Louis tweets from the One Direction account again “Will everyone please follow the one direction iTunes ping :) - Louis.”

20- Louis sets his profile pic on ping to a cropped picture of him and Harry in Holmes Chapel in December

20- Harry leaves late in the evening to visit Gemma “On the way to visit my sister :D .x

21- Harry at home

21- Louis tweets about official One Direction facebook page

21- The One Direction account tweets “Who wants a follow 5 people will get followed today just type #followme1d and your reason :) we will pick the best 5 :)”

21- One Direction account tweets the now defunct URL “Check out a new webpage :)  http://www.1direction.co.uk/ join our news letter for the latest updates and video diaries :)”

21 - One Direction account tweets “18th in The Shorty Awards, Best Musicians Twitter Account http://bit.ly/voteonedirection #voteonedirection ..Keep it up lets get to 10th :)"

21- Harry tweets “So tired....kinnect volleyball all day:P but now I'm a 'pro' ;) haha .x”

22- Niall tweets from One Direction account “Hello twitter :) great few days at home , see you soon .... COME ON DERBY !!- Niall xx”

23 - At 11:54AM Harry tweets from the One Direction account “  I think thats the best lie in i've had so far :) Harry .xx”

23- At 12:01PM, Harry (?) tweets from the One Direction account “  i'm just chilling out today :)”

23- At 12:04PM, the One Direction account (Harry again?) tweets “  Shorty Awards: Vote @onedirection for music!! Louis for humor and Harry for Fashion...They're near the top!! :D“

23- At 12:05, Harry tweets from his personal “Haha Just seen I'm 8th for Fashion in the Shorty Awards!! :D ^^^”

23-Hannah tweets a picture of her and her friends before the G-A-Y performance in London

23- Hannah immediately tweets a picture of her mother’s desk at work, saying the picture is from Louis’ birthday

23- Hannah immediately tweets a self-described “blurry pic of Louis”

23- Hannah tweets a fan how long her and Louis have been dating, saying “For about 17 months x“

23- Hannah tweets “@louis_tomlinson is NOT leaving One Direction! Don't know where that rumour came from xx“

23- Hannah tweets her anniversary with Louis is March 18th

Hmm math... It would either 22 months or 10... Not 17?

23- Harry & Louis leave Surrey early in the afternoon and ride a Southwestern train 45 minutes into Central London

23- Harry & Louis go to TGI Friday’s in Haymarket Square and go shopping

23- Harry & Louis go to Odeon Leicester Square to see Black Swan

23- Harry tweets “Vote @louis_tomlinson for humour in the shorty awards!! :D” at 3:37 PM

23- Harry tweets “TGI Fridays......heaven.” at 3:41 PM

23- Louis tweets “Please RT my last tweet love you all :) if I am 2nd by tonight me and Harry will do a twitcam , bromance special ;)” at 3:41 PM

23- Harry tweets lyrics to “California” by Phantom Planet at 3:51 PM “On the stereo,listen as we go,nothing's gonna stop me now..California here we come..Right back where we started from :D“; He later played this song during the twitcam the same day

23- Hannah tweets link to Shorty Awards after fan tells her Louis is in 1st Place “Louis is 1st!! Keep voting please & keep him there :) http://shortyawards.com/category/humor

23- Hannah tweets the link to vote again, this time with Harry and One Direction included “@louis_tomlinson for humor, @harry_styles for fashion & @onedirection for music.. please vote! http://shortyawards.com/category/humor”

23- Hannah announces she is booking flights for Dublin to see the X Factor tour

23- Harry & Louis ride the train back to Surrey around 8PM

23- Hannah tweets a fan 15 minutes before the twitcam begins that she’ll watch the twitcam if she was on her laptop “@1OneDirectionx If I'm on my laptop then yep xx”

23- Harry & Louis do promised twitcam lasting an hour, beginning at 9:53PM and ending at 10:50PM

23- Hannah tweets a fan 20 minutes into the Twitcam “@xsarahloveharry Won't load! Never mind, I'm tired anyway xx”

23- Harry tweets “:) (@Harry_Styles live on http://twitcam.com/3m2lg)“

23- Anne watches the twicam, calls them “my boys”

23- Niall tweets he saw Little Fockers with Zayn at 11:30 PM “ Went to see little fockers wi @zaynmalik and TM..really funny!! ";

The film was still in theaters at the time; They did not go with Harry & Louis to their movie, and likely went to the movie theater an 8 minute bus ride from their hotel

23-Harry tweets at 12:13 AM “I Wish #thepersonunderthistweet A Very Nice Sleep :D .xx“

23- Harry tweets at 12:20 AM “It's not about the Money money money,We don't need your Money money money..We just wanna make the World Dance..forget about The Pricetag :D”

23- only Larry Twitter cam

Harry: Me and Louis had a really nice girl’s day out today.

Louis: Yes. Me and Harry spent all day shopping...dining...eating cookie dough...and watching girly films like The Black Swan. Which ended up being not that girly, quite rude and quite violent.

Harry: [quietly] It was good though.

24- Harry tweets at 7:47 AM “It's National Pie Day...And I got hit in the head with a Cream Egg!! :D”

24-Louis tweets at 6:55 PM “I love every single one of our fans !! You are amazing ! We are so lucky to have you !!”

25- One Direction Twitter account tweets “Good bye to all our lovely fans see you soon , lots of love Louis , Harry , Niall , Zayn and Liam”

25- Louis tweets at 9:18 AM “Please keep voting on the shorty awards it's so close now!”

25- Louis posts link to vote in Shorty Awards “  http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson please vote humour :) RT love you all xx”

25- they arrive at LAX

25- Hannah tweets “I'll do my best to keep you updated on the boys if you all keep me company while they're away? xx”

25- Hannah tweets 2 pictures of Louis

25- Hannah tweets Danielle Peazer, Liam’s very new girlfriend at the time “@DaniellePeazer Lou asked me what I wanted but I didn't have a clue so I'm excited to see what he brings back!Bet we get the same stuff ha!x”

25- Hannah responds to Danielle who said she texted Liam her US clothing sizes with “@DaniellePeazer Oh great well I didn't think of that so I'll trust Louis' judgement haha.. I just want them back safe xx

25- Hannah tweets with the hashtag 1Dupdate to let fans know the boys would land soon in LA “#1Dupdate The boys should be landing soon!! And I think it's about 2pm in America xx  “

25- The boys fly to Los Angeles, arriving at mid afternoon local time

25: Louis tweets “So excited to be in L.A will tweet pictures when I can :) xx”

25: Louis emails Hannah “@larrybromance Lou says the hotel is incredible & they're living not being recognised xx” It was the Days Inn Hollywood.

25- in LA they are whispering and cleny

25-30: The boys in Los Angeles recording “Save You Tonight”

26- Louis tweets from the one direction Twitter- hey everyone me and Harry just had pancakes and maple syrup great way to start the day :) miss you all Louis and Harry x

26- 4 minutes later, Louis tweets from his personal account “Ohh yeah and we had sausage with our pancakes :) x”

26- Hannah replies to Louis’ tweet “@Louis_Tomlinson Sausage and maple syrup together?? That's even worse than pasta on toast x”

26- 6 minutes later, Hannah tweets  “In all fairness to Louis, pasta on toast is quite tasty but makes the bread a bit soggy.. I'd choose that over maple syrup sausages anyway x”

26- Louis tweets a picture of himself “Doing the American look :)"

26- One Direction spotted in West Hollywood with Cher Lloyd and Savan Kotecha Harry and Louis are not far apart the whole time

26: The picture from the train hits the internet

26- Louis tweets from the One Direction twitter account “Having a great time and met up with Savan and cher :) - Louis

26- An hour later, Louis tweets from his personal “Voting closes Monday please keep voting for me on humor guys it means a lot! http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson”

26- Louis then tweets from his personal “lets trend #votelouis :) Please RT :)”

26- 2 minutes later, Louis (most likely) tweets again from the One Direction account “Everyone ! Voting closes on Monday please vote One Direction for music :) http://shortyawards.com/onedirection #voteonedirection  ”

26- At the same time, Louis tweets again from the One Direction account “Also vote Harry for fashion http://shortyawards.com/Harry_Styles :) #voteharry :)”

26- 1 minute later, the One Direction account tweets “And Louis for humor :) http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson #votelouis”

26- Harry tweets “The Sun Has Got His Hat On And He's Coming Out To Play :D”

26- Hannah tweets “Louis has bought new shoes...And no, they aren't Tom's.. America has changed him already! :(”

27- Reports emerge that the first single will be released on March 13th

27-Harry tweets around 8AM “Here comes the sun,du dun doo doo,Here comes the sun,I say...it's alright :D”

27- Harry tweets “Have a good day everyone :D. Will tweet some pictures later from @onedirection :) .xx“

27- Louis tweets at 6:35 PM “  Hello everyone hope your well . Missing tweeting you guys so much ! Xx”

27- Louis tweets at 11PM LA time “I think it's funny how some people are just getting up and I'm not even asleep yet !!”

27- Louis tweets “Keep voting on the shorty awards please #votelouis”

27- Louis tweets a fan “@heyimisabella good babe how are you ? X“

27- Hannah tweets Louis’ Clio was named Cheryl “@katiejburroughs Louis used to drive a Clio (called Cheryl) but he sold it when he went to London so now he hires cars when he's home :) xx“

27- Hannah tweets “Definitely getting used to this Louis not being here thing.. You've all been so lovely to me as always. 3 sleeps until they're back! Night x”

28- Hannah tweets early in the morning UK time/late night LA time “Spoken to Louis - he's having an amazing time, meeting lots of people & now he's going to bed :) xxx”

28- Hannah tweets a fan “@leprechaunxo The only time he ever cooked for me was when he made this tasty salmon pasta :) xx“

28- Anne tweets Jay about the Shorty Awards  “@jaytommo :-) we must be doing something right :) xxxx http://shortyawards.com/category/lovelyonedmummys” ( Harry and Louis' mom's)

28- The One Direction account retweets Harry “RT @Harry_Styles Have a good day everyone :D. Will tweet some pictures later from @onedirection :) .xx“

28- Robin tries to win tickets to the Brit awards and says since “Harry (S) and Lois (T)” can’t go he would take Anne (Harry's step dad)

28- Hannah tweets “@Louis_Tomlinson is only 3 points ahead of 2nd place so can we all please #voteLouis again!! http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson”

28- Harry tweets “ Thank everyone who's been voting me, @louis_Tomlinson and @onedirection in the Shorty Awards...Keep Going!! :D. Love you all .xx“

28- Hannah tweets “When you #voteLouis or #voteHarry you have to make sure your reason has something to do with humour/fashion or it won't count!! RT”

28- Harry tweets from the One Direction Twitter account “  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL_WvOly7mY BEVERLY HILLS!! :D  -Harry .xx http://twitpic.com/3u6zh2″

28- Harry tweets “Look what Liam showed me... HAHAHA!! :D http://yfrog.com/h8r4ejj”

28- Harry tweets from the One Direction account “Sunny Again Today in L.A.!! Have a Good Day Everyone :D  - Harry .xx”

28- Louis tweets “Expected more from skins , disappointed :(”

28-Jay tweets that Louis got into bed with Harry “@tomlinson_love he got in bed with Harry last week lol”  

29- Hannah tweets a fan “@xx_annemarie_xx Louis doesn't have bebo babe xx” ( x ) (Even though it’s well-documented that he did)

29- Hannah tweets what time the boys are landing at Heathrow “  If my maths is correct (and my world clock) the boys will land at 4pm tomorrow UK time which is 8am LA time. That should mean that they leave 5am tomorrow UK time & 9pm tonight LA time. Wow does that make sense??”

29- Anne tweets ”to all those asking: to my knowledge Harry isn't dating anyone”

29- Harry tweets “Have a good day everyone :D. Love you guys and see you soon!! .xxx”

29- The band in West Hollywood posted by Paul on his facebook

29- Ashley (ash_sherls) does a twitcam while drunk with her friend and says Harry isn’t a virgin; An uproar on Twitter ensues; Ashley defends her statement to Twitter user @CaraStalik: ���cus trust me...he won’t care.”

30- Hannah tweets “Not long until the boys are home!! #welcomehome1D” and encourages fans to use that hashtag in all tweets

30- Hannah tweets “When I spoke to Louis last night the boys were sunbathing by the pool & didn't want to come home!! Lets trend#welcomehome1D to make them happy to be home”

30- Hannah tweets two fans about something Harry & Louis bought in LA “Louis' are brown & Harry's are sand coloured ha xx” and “Yes they did, lou got brown and Harry got sand x”

30- Hannah tweets “I'm not seeing Louis today, I'm just excited for him to be back in the same country as me!! #welcomehome1D xx“

30- Hannah tweets “They've landed, prepare guys xxx”

30 - The boys arrive back in London and are mobbed at Heathrow

30-Harry tweets “Oh..my..days. Wow!!”

30- Louis tweets from his personal “My jumper got ripped in the chaos so I give it to someone ! Love you all x”

30- Louis tweets from his personal “Every needs to stop saying sorry it's fine it was crazy cos there was so many people but don't worry :) love you all !”

30- Louis tweets from the One Direction account “What a way to be greeted back to the UK how we've missed you :) love you all - Louis x”

30- Jay tweets she talked to Louis & Harry on the phone and the boys are fine

30: Hannah tweets “Please follow mine & Louis' best friend @DanWoollett - he did the live link from Doncaster on the finals & is going to a London tour date :)”

30- Hannah tweets “Feel a bit sick after watching those videos but on a brighter note I love you all for trending #welcomehome1D worldwide all day!!”

30- Louis tweets “http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson - Keep voting :)”

30- Louis tweets “  Massive thanks to @AJ_RedOne @Savan_Kotecha and the rest of the boys !!  “

30- Louis tweets “Just been watching my old Grease videos , it makes me sad :( That was a fantastic part of my life!

30- Louis tweets James Corden “  @JKCorden Jamesy baby chips and gravy how are you old bean ?”

30- Harry tweets “Goodnight :D Thanks for all the support..you guys are amazing...seriously. .xx”

30- Louis tweets “Voting closes tomorrow and I am 200 votes behind please keep voting me for humour :)http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson.”

30-Louis tweets “Let's trend #votelouistomlinson”

30-Louis gives instructions on how to vote “You can only vote once and have to leave a reason or it will not count. #votelouistomlinson”

30-Louis tweets Joe Kennedy and Ashley Wills “@joekenners @AshWills84 Hey mate yeah I'm really good! yeah was a top day , hope to have another day soon! Just signed Ash on FM haha“

31- At around 6:45PM, @CaraStalik creates the Twitter account @HarrysVirginity and puts in the bio “I seem to be lost according to @ash_sherls”

My thoughts

Harry and Louis spend most of the month together.

They went on a few dates

Hannah spent most of her time tweeting Louis

Louis never tweeted Hannah

Hannah had no clue when they actually started dating.

Harry was not a virgin.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 1x04-- Henceforth Known As Property

Thoughts on 1x04 under the cut!

The episode begins with an image of the schtup list from last week, which is… fine but not engaging. Maia is annotating it in a crowded elevator. That makes sense! Why wouldn’t you take a confidential document, which you obtained illegally, pertaining to an ongoing investigation on to a crowded elevator at your workplace?

A woman offers Maia unsolicited cooking advice. She’s confused. Another woman jumps in to dispute the first woman’s advice. Maia remains confused. She exits the elevator, and Lucca greets her with information about a fertility case she’ll be working on.

Maia says that’s good, but Lucca realizes she’s a bit shaken and asks if she’s okay. Lucca needs Maia to find precedents for the case, then adds, “And tell me if you’re getting some bad-mouthing.” “If I’m getting…?” Maia asks. “Well, people say things. You know, sometimes people don’t know better,” Lucca explains. When Maia asks if people are talking, Lucca responds, “No. I mean, no more than what you said.” Sorry, does this mean that Lucca, who actually knows Maia, believes that an unverified twitter feed with the bio “Daddy’s little lesbian” is an account Maia is involved with?

Before Lucca can explain further, Barbara pulls her into a meeting.

Marissa knows what’s up: “It’s not your twitter feed, is it?” she says to Maia. Maia is still confused, so Marissa shows her.

“It’s hard to get excited about work when people call you lesbo behind your back.” -- @MaiaRindellSays. Yes. Because real Maia would definitely tweet about her workplace in the middle of a scandal under her real name. This sounds believable.

(I won’t get stuck too much on this point; I was in a fandom once where a 12 year old impersonated someone on Twitter and frequently tweeted about her own middle school homework and people still believed she was a 40 year old celebrity.)

(I don’t know where this music is from!!! Someone find it, please!)

The profile for @MaiaRindellSays (which is not a real account, boooo! The writers USED to make real accounts for their featured twitter trolls, like @Upriser7!) reads: “Daddy’s little lesbian. Love life and never change. YOLO.” I mean that sounds totally fake but okay.

This twitter account—which we later learn is a bot set up years ago—must be a super smart bot if it knows to tweet Maia’s feelings about her dad going to jail.

Fake Maia also tweets about canning fruit, and I wish they’d given her a different hobby because every time anyone says “canning” I think they’re going to summon Louis Canning and I’d rather they didn’t.

Fake Maia talks about sex too!

“Do you have any enemies?” Marissa asks Maia. Maia has a lot of enemies, Marissa! (Here’s a better question: does Maia have any friends? I understood when Alicia—who was in her early 40s in TGW season 1 (which took place in 2009-2010), was technologically inept, and was kind of a loner—didn’t know when internet things were happening. But would Maia really be so disconnected? Is she making an effort to unplug after those harassing calls? Are friends not willing to trust her? Do they think it’s too awkward to reach out? Are Amy’s friends reaching out to her? Why aren’t we seeing more about this side of the scandal? YMMV but to me, these questions are far more interesting than tracking down a twitter troll.)  

“It’s the scandal,” Maia realizes. “What do I do?”

Marissa says the way to track down the fake is to tweet to her. “I’m gay and like canning, too. We should meet up. :-)” Marissa DMs fake Maia.

COTW time! Case stuff happens!

I’m amused that the client’s last name is Salano, which I kept hearing as Solano at first, and her case is a dispute about eggs. Jane the Virgin, anyone? I’m sure that show could find a way to connect Laura Salano to Raf and Petra.

One thing I like about the case: Laura is a friend of Barbara’s. Another thing I like: the RBK team on this case is all female.

Barbara calls Diane in to help on the case, and once Diane leaves, Barbara moves closer to the client. That’s when it becomes clear they’re friends. “So you’re expanding?” Laura asks, referring to Diane. “Girl…” is all Barbara can say. “Explain,” Laura says. And then we cut away from them, and that’s fine, because we already know how Barbara feels about this. But this is one of those little “throwaway” scenes that end up mattering a lot to a show. Seeing Barbara around a long-time friend clues us in on who Barbara is outside of the office, even if all the information we’re really getting here is that Barbara has friends. (And, uh, that means a lot in this universe, because a lot of the characters don’t seem to have friends.)

Diane spies a man in Adrian’s office. She asks Marissa who it is. She has a suspicion, but needs Marissa to confirm. Marissa tries to be inconspicuous… and knocks a painting off the wall. Adrian and the man—Mike Kresteva, the Lying Liar—turn to look at her.

“Mike Kresteva,” Marissa tells Diane. (It makes sense for Marissa to recognize him; she’s Eli’s daughter after all.) Diane gets worried, and instructs Marissa to pull Adrian out of the meeting.

Marissa and Mike make eye contact. I wonder if Mike recognizes her. It would make sense if he did.

“Mike Kresteva. What’s he doing here?” Diane asks Adrian once he’s left the meeting. Adrian doesn’t know yet and wants to know why Diane is alarmed. “One of the partners at my firm, Alicia Florrick, knew him. He made her life hell,” Diane explains, accurately.

I don’t think we’ve ever seen Diane interact with Kresteva before, though he would’ve been a figure she’d heard a lot about, both through the gubernatorial race (she represented Peter in that voter fraud case!) and through Alicia. This Alicia reference is a necessary one. Diane doesn’t fear Kresteva because she disagrees with his politics; she fears him because she’s heard Alicia’s stories. I doubt Diane knows the anecdote about Alicia calling Kresteva Hitler and to his face and then telling him to die chocking on his own blood because she knows what she actually says to him doesn’t matter one bit, but, yeah. Kresteva’s that awful.

Anyway, Diane is warning Adrian that Kresteva is a Lying Liar.

The scariest thing about Kresteva, I think, is that he’s totally aware he’s lying. He just doesn’t care. He’s not gullible or easily confused. No—he’s calculated and cruel.

“I can handle myself,” Adrian tells her. Yeah. Sure. Diane isn’t satisfied with that answer and absentmindedly hands Marissa a sheet of paper. Marissa has to remind her to explain—a nice way of conveying how consuming and intense Diane’s dread of interacting with Kresteva is.

Kresteva is now on a task force about police accountability. He’s a fictional character in a fictional world, but that still makes me want to cry. The first time we met Kresteva, in W319 (Blue Ribbon Panel), he was making excuses for and shutting down inquiry into a cop shooting and then framing an unarmed black man. (That’s still one of the most eerily prescient episodes of TGW. The cop in that episode was named Zimmerman… and the episode filmed right before Trayvon Martin was murdered.)  

Maia and Marissa are still waiting for a reply from the Twitter account. (Wouldn’t a bot reply instantly? HOW DO TWITTER BOTS WORK? I’m almost curious enough to go down a Google rabbit hole!)

FakeMaia tweeted back. She wants a picture. So, Marissa goes into her “photostream,” which she keeps on her work laptop for occasions like this (what are you into, Marissa!?), and selects a picture of some random stock image girl. Maia wants Marissa to get a photo back from the bot. The bot sends one back instantly. Several, actually. They’re artsy images of a naked woman who doesn’t look like Maia but whom Maia says is really her.

So wait. There’s a bot on Twitter that carries on conversations, is up to date with the news, has hobbies, and just sends nude pics of Maia if you ask!? And it was created by some random photographer, on his own, several years ago? Is this supposed to be a play on that racist Microsoft bot from a while back?! Ohmygod I’m gonna stop nitpicking. Or, at least, I’ll try. I’m not sure if I’m more concerned that this could happen or skeptical of the plot.

At least Maia knows who’s behind the account now: she remembers the photographer. (Hey, they did this plotline on Desperate Housewives!)

“This feels like old times,” Kresteva remarks as he steps into Diane’s office. Again, not sure they ever met on screen. “And what line are you selling today, Mike?” Diane asks. “Why is everybody so suspicious of me?” Kresteva wonders. Hmmm. Why indeed.

He informs Diane of his new position. She refuses to give advice or say much. Kresteva says he’s changed. Sure. “How is your son doing, Mike?” Diane tries to change the subject. Turns out Kresteva’s son (named Jax; I remember this because I’ve been thinking about characters named Jax because of the Rindells) passed away. Kresteva almost seems like a human being telling his story.

The second he leaves her office, Diane Chumhums (HIIIIiiI CHUMMIE I LOVE YOU YOU SILLY LITTLE GOPHER) to determine whether or not Kresteva’s son really died. She hates that she has to look it up, but she does. Turns out Kresteva was telling the truth about that, sadly.

Diane goes to the fertility clinic to follow up on something COTW related. The doctor mistakes her for a patient. Diane laughs that off—“I’m not here for myself.”

Case stuff happens.

There’s a joke that goes on for way too long involving a doctor who’s hard of hearing. It’s supposed to be funny. It is not funny.

Sleazy Twitter Bot Bro is now a photographer who specializes in portraits of children. Gross.

Maia is, in theory, on the case of the week, but aside from the one scene where Lucca asks her to do a bit of research, her main work task seems to be investigating her personal life and using firm resources (computers, support staff) to do so. Either that, or she has a really generous lunch hour.

Marissa is comfortable being very assertive around Bro. When she speaks up on Maia’s behalf, Bro wonders if she’s Maia’s new girlfriend. Sounds like someone’s precious masculinity was wounded when Maia came out. Boo hoo. Marissa explains she’s not, “but that doesn’t matter.”

They broke up four years ago. I wonder if Maia’s bisexual or if she realized after (or during) the relationship she was gay?

The twitter bot was set up two years ago, which means Bro was bitter and resentful for two years. (Also means that Amy and Maia, if we believe the writers requested a photo of Amy and Maia for the icon, have been together at least 2 years.)

“What’s a Twitterbot?” Maia asks. … exactly what it sounds like, Maia. What weird sort of bubble does Maia live in!? (Alternatively: writers, it’s never a good look to make your characters more ignorant than they realistically should be for the sake of exposition.)

The bot will duplicate itself if he turns it off. Wha?

When Bro tells Maia to “tell your girlfriend to fix it,” she slaps him. Yay, Maia! (If this happened in the first episode of the show, I’d be worried about the series finale. I think we’re safe because it’s episode four.)

Maia and Marissa return from their non-work related adventure at the same time Diane and Lucca get back from working on the case. The subpoena guy (I’m sure there’s a technical name for this—process server?) who’s a crew member or something is in the RBK lobby, subpoenaing everyone who worked on the police brutality case in F1x01. (At least, I assume that’s why he’s serving them, since he doesn’t subpoena Barbara or anyone else.)

There’s something missing from the Maia subplot—and, really, from the way Maia’s been written so far in these first four episodes (well, mostly just these last two, so there’s hope!). Whenever the show could explore how Maia’s feeling or what she’s thinking or how she’s doing at work, it instead goes for a plot-driven conspiracy. Twists and turns are fun, but Maia’s a new character. These plots don’t give me much of a sense of who Maia is or how she’s coping with the aftermath of the scandal. Consider, for a minute, what the show would look like if Maia’s parents were obviously guilty. Instead of having to wait for the reveal of what really happened (which I don’t care about at all), we’d be dealing with Maia realizing the betrayal that definitely occurred. We’d be seeing her lose her innocence and rebuild instead of watching her investigate various family members we as the audience have no reason to trust. Maia would be the focus, not the facts of the scandal. Same goes for the harassment. Why can’t it just be some random person on Twitter who made an account, and Maia has to learn to steel herself against it? Why does it have to be an elaborate Twitter bot that also makes Fake News?

I keep coming back to the way TGW season 1 worked for Alicia. First, and I didn’t realize how smart this was until TGF began, Peter committed two crimes: one against the law and one against his family. Alicia even makes that distinction in the pilot. She doesn’t care as much about the crimes he allegedly committed, and she (and we) don’t know if he really did it. What she does know, and what we do know, is that he cheated on her with prostitutes. Since there are two scandals there, Alicia can lose her trust in Peter because of one (the cheating) while the writers are free to play around with the mystery/conspiracy of the other. But we don’t have that with the Rindells. Their scandal is all doubt.

While I’m on this kick of comparing the writing for Alicia to the writing for Maia, I’d also like to mention W109, Threesome. That episode has a plot that’s similar to Maia’s in this episode. Alicia is the last to know about Peter’s call girl’s appearance on Chelsea Handler’s show. Zach and Grace know about it. Peter’s legal team and publicity team know about it. Everyone in the office knows. It’s not until Alicia’s assistant pulls up the video that she finds out. We see Alicia react to the interview; how much it pains her to be called “frigid.” Alicia’s called to meet with Will and Diane before she can even finish watching the clip, and we get a great little sequence of Alicia walking through the firm, her confidence waning as she notices everyone’s eyes on her. Her whole demeanor changes completely from what we saw as she walked in to work. Will and Diane are talking about damage control when she arrives, and we can tell from the way Alicia’s moving she expects that they’re going to talk to her about the video. (I’m rewatching this now, and holy shit, guys, she even does the thing with her hands to calm herself down. You know, that thing she does in the last minutes of the series finale. SHE DOES IT HERE TOO.) She only relaxes, slightly, when she realizes they’re talking about Stern’s scandal, not hers. And the whole episode plays out with Alicia trying to figure out what’s going on with Peter, how to make Amber stop, and how to talk to her children about their father’s sex life. And, oh yeah, she’s on a case the whole time, too. I could talk for hours about Alicia’s arc in W109, and how the episode deepens the audience’s understanding of Alicia by forcing her to shift between so many environments, and how the central problem of Amber Madison’s eagerness to spread lies is resolved as an issue between Alicia and Peter, not as a convoluted plot. But I won’t, because I think the example of that first scene (which you really should rewatch!) illustrates my point: the writing for Maia lacks this nuance. The writing for Maia is mostly about plot. The writing for Alicia used plot to develop the character.

Lucca waits for Colin in the bar near the courthouse. She’s already ordered a burger and cut it in half for him. What’s their ship thing going to be? Burger and Fries? Onions and Peppers? (Note: this is not a serious question.)

Colin thinks Lucca’s there to flirt, but she’s there for work. But they don’t get to work before Colin invites her on a date to get milkshakes. Something about his therapist. This is cute, but not really anything I need to get into in-depth.

Lucca asks Colin about the subpoena; he says he’ll look into it.

Marissa made a breakthrough in the Twitterbot fiasco. She contacted Twitter and they froze it right away, which is definitely how Twitter deals with harassment. (I actually don’t know if this is realistic, but I’ve seen so much about how ineffective Twitter is at suspending trolls that this seems too fast, even though it also seems totally logical.) (But won’t the bot remake itself?)

Maia and Marissa high five, adorably.

Case stuff happens. This case is interesting.

Alma Hoff is back! So is just Stanek, who is still collecting electronics in a trash can.

Yesha gets a news alert from Chumhum about Maia being fired. She phones Maia to ask if it’s true. The news source is obviously fake, but I can’t tell if it’s Fake News or Real News For These Characters But Fake Because Copyright Laws.

Maia asks Adrian if she’s being fired. “I barely even know who you are,” Adrian replies, shooing her away. Heh. Wouldn’t Maia know it’s a lie from the fact that she didn’t call her workplace anti-gay?

Now there’s a story about Maia buying $350,000 in jewelry. Ah, it’s one of those sites. The ones that generate ridiculous stories about famous people that have no connection to the truth at all.

Now a Grand Jury is in session, and I think this insert of “GRAND JURY IN SESSION” is lifted from a TGW ep, probably 314 or something from season 7.

Diane is on the stand; Kresteva is questioning her. He starts off by framing her answers as uncooperative, and then begins to flat out lie. “What could be wrong with my motives?” he asks. LOL. I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING. (Even if it weren’t Kresteva specifically… there are still a lot of good reasons to be suspicious!)

“I think you tend to lie,” Diane responds. Kresteva goes after her about the money the firm makes off of the police brutality cases. It’s 30% of the firm’s annual income. Well that’s a cynical suggestion.

Kresteva asks Diane if she said that the problem was that “the people of Cook County hated African-Americans.” Wait, I thought she refused to answer in his version of events? Also, what does he mean by the People of Cook County? Does he mean in the legal sense (The People vs. ___) or does he mean that Diane said that Cook County residents are racists? What narrative is he trying to spin—that Diane was uncooperative, that Diane wants police brutality to continue so she can profit, or that Diane made sweeping accusations of racism? All of the above? Does it matter? Is the point to scare the firm away from these cases or to actually accomplish something with the Grand Jury? (I think it’s the former.)

Anyway, the real point of this scene is that KRESTEVA IS A LYING LIAR.

“Are you saying that my notes from our meeting are incorrect?” Kresteva asks. THIS GUY IS SO FULL OF BULLSHIT, I NEED TO WATCH THE GIF OF ALICIA TELLING HIM TO DIE CHOCKING ON HIS OWN BLOOD, PLEASE A FEW TIMES NOW. Kresteva is so full of shit that his lies don’t even make sense! His whole shtick rests on the hope that the grand jury finds him trustworthy! If they don’t, then why shouldn’t Diane suspect him? What should it matter that his “notes” don’t match what Diane’s saying? They’re his notes. He could’ve written them whenever he felt like it; he could’ve written down whatever he wanted! It’s not a video. It’s not an audio recording. It’s not a print-out of an email. The people who say “believe me” (or variations of that) the most are the ones to watch out for.

Kresteva’s lies, which seemed outrageous back in 2012, play differently in 2017, don’t they?

This scene is very hard to watch because of the emotional toll it takes on Diane as she realizes nothing she says or does will help her out of this hole. Kresteva will just make up more lies, and when he does let the truth through, he’ll spin it to make Diane look bad. Diane’s mistake about Jax seems malicious when he questions her. Her denial of the conversation reads as guilt. How could Kresteva have made up all of that information, the jury must wonder. Isn’t it more to this lady’s advantage to lie than it is to the head of the task force?

Diane says Kresteva was in her office for six minutes. I don’t get why she says this, since we saw the full meeting and it wasn’t six minutes, so…

Diane’s furious when she gets back to work. “He’s setting us up,” she announces to the others. Adrian understands why: Kresteva wants to reduce the number of police brutality cases by having fewer cases filed. I presume this means not just shutting down RBK’s cases, but also making other firms fear taking them on.

Lucca goes to Colin to investigate further. “Yeah, he lies,” Colin acknowledges. “Does your boss know that?” Lucca wonders. Good question. Colin agrees to help out, which is very nice of him. (So far, Colin feels a lot like a flirtier Finn Polmar to me.) Lucca says he seems like a good guy and reminds him they have a milkshake date. They can’t have sex yet because it would seem like a quid pro quo. “Fuck, I hate being a good guy,” Colin jokes as Lucca leaves.

Case stuff happens. I like Judge Stanek.

Colin does bring Kresteva’s methods up with the boss. The boss hears Kresteva’s strategy for how to reduce the amount of cases and doesn’t care about (agree with?) the ethics of it. Colin tries a different angle: the firm is all African-American; won’t that look bad? Kresteva argues it’s not all black because of Diane. LOL DIANE IS ONE PERSON. (And even if you include Maia and Marissa, that’s still a small fraction of the total employees.)

Colin must have pretty high standing/be pretty good at his job if he can bring this up at work. Kresteva gets a small warning, but he’s allowed to continue.

“It’s fake news,” Jay tells Maia. The original twitter monster has morphed into a lot of fake news all across the internet.

Yesha tries to stop it by getting a TRO against Bro, but he says it won’t work because his servers aren’t in Cook County. Yesha tells Maia there’s nothing more they can do. “Not legally,” Yesha repeats. Then she leaves, as Maia, Marissa, and Jay all think of illegal ways to stop Fake News.

Marissa has an idea—create fake news about Bro. Wouldn’t it be easier to just phone his boss? WHY ARE YOU GUYS USING YOUR WORK COMPUTERS TO CREATE FAKE NEWS WITH EXPLICIT CONTENT? WHY AREN’T YOU GUYS WORKING?! (Yes, this has gotten under my skin, why do you ask?)

Bro’s boss buys the fake news. Would that really happen? I can see him being fired because it looks bad, but being fired because your boss believed ILoveFakeNewsDotCom or whatever seems strange.

Case stuff happens.

Bro shows up at Maia’s office to announce, “You’re ruining my life.” HYPOCRITE. (Though, I do have a question: if the fake news is no longer spreading because of him, what is this accomplishing other than revenge?)

He calls her a bitch. Hell. No.

Luckily, Adrian intervenes and Bro calms down. “You drop your news articles and I’ll drop mine?” Bro says. So they are his news articles? What happens when someone else gets the same idea?

“At this firm, we stand up for each other, Maia,” Adrian tells Maia after she thanks him. Awwww. (So does that mean he’s cool with her doing all of this on the clock, using work computers, and pulling Marissa and Jay into it, too?)

YES!!! A break from the Diane/Barbara tension!!!!! This week, they’re drinking together after a rough day in court. Diane’s sad. Barbara, too.

“Do you regret not having children?” Barbara asks Diane. I can’t believe we got through seven seasons of TGW without Diane ever answering this question. That’s cool!

“Sometimes,” Diane responds honestly. “Not often.”

“When are the sometimes?” Barbara wonders. This feels a lot to me like Barbara trying to decide if she should try to have kids before it’s too late.

“With my husband. I mean, it’s too late for us now, but, uh, but I look at him and I wonder what, you know, what his son would be like. Or my daughter,” Diane explains, breaking my heart. (She and Kurt are totally going to reconcile, right?!)

“Yeah. It’s interesting,” Diane continues, unprompted. “Most people think I didn’t want kids, and that’s why I made my work my life. What they don’t realize, it’s… it’s really just the opposite.” I definitely assumed that Diane prioritized work over having kids. I’m not entirely sure what Diane means by “the opposite” but I think she’s saying that kids didn’t seem to be happening for her, so she had time to throw herself into work, and then it was too late. I wonder if Diane would’ve considered IVF if it had been more common when she was in her 30s/40s.

Diane and Barbara talk a little bit more, then Diane finishes her drink and goes back to her office. She phones Kurt. He doesn’t pick up (or does she hang up too quickly? I think it’s the former but compressed for time). I CAN’T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK.

Then Diane has an epiphany: ENGLAND.

“We dialed 44 and then the number,” Barbara retorts when Alma asks how they called an agency in England. LULZ.

Case stuff happens; Laura wins! (Also, who knew Alma Hoff had a pottymouth?)

I barely talked about it, but this was a very complex and compelling case.

The Fake News hasn’t stopped. Shocker. Yesha has figured out that now Reddit is making fake news because people on the Internet also hate Maia.

Now Yesha and Marissa both advise Maia to drop it. So she does. But… Fake News has Real Consequences.

Someone brings the Fake News about Maia, which is now in the Cook County Vindicator which I thought was supposed to be a legit paper with actual reporters but whatever, to Kresteva’s attention. He’s looking for any ways to go after RBK, and this news article—real or fake—plays right into his story.

His white board of RBK targets consists exclusively of people we know (and excludes Reddick—who is Reddick, anyway? Is he still there?), including Amy. “Hired for SA ties?” reads a post-it next to Maia’s picture.

So… that’s what’s coming next. All the conspiracies come together! That means it’s time for ELSBETH TASCIONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Seriously, Elsbeth is the one good thing about the unnecessary conspiracy plots The Good Shows like to do.)

[vv-an0nym0us-vv-blog]

5:20AM 04-09-17

I doubt you will ever come across your Tumblr account again, Luis but here are some thoughts that I've been having lately about this whole situation. I know, I know, this is a very coward way of telling you this, but for now, it's what I'm going to do regardless. So, first things first, we broke up. This break up has lasted for some time, and I think it's going on a month. Maybe. I don't know. Fuck the date, lol. Obviously I was not too fond of the decision. The countless times I've cried about it. The questions I've asked. Getting mad over it as well I believe? Well, yeah. I hated it. It's the worst. Ironically, it's the worst event that has happened to us, yet it's the last event for us. Whoa. Now I feel quite numb about it. Well, not entirely numb, but it's something I can think about and feel pretty much nothing. My heart sinks a little, but after that, I'm numb. (Btw, I'm listening to the song you showed me when we first started talking. Eddie - 操蛋的世界 [Farewell] and I just had the thought that maybe you dedicating that song to me meant something in the future, which is now... idk lol) Aside from the numbness, I don't really know where to go from here. Being used to you, the time we spent together, I feel lost. Somehow... I will forever, and I mean forever, cherish our moments together. God... this song is giving me flashbacks. When we stayed up talking. Through Skype. When I sent videos of me talking random Korean on Kik. You saying I sounded sexy? Lol. Me wanting and begging you to talk to me. It was during our summer break. And how we would text throughout the days. I honestly felt like I was bothering you and did my ultimate best to not reply too fast, although I really wanted to because I enjoyed talking to you so much. Ah... our little talks. We talked about random things too. But how you opened yourself up to me. So beautiful. Thinking now, how quiet we were in Ms. Everett's class. We sat together throughout the second semester. From day one, I knew there was something about you. The small presentation we had to do, watching you, listening to you... you turned red... I had heart eyes for you, Luis. But of course, I got distracted with another person, but every time I went to that class.. looking at you just made me forget about the other idiots. I wanted you. Then again, I thought I was being dumb, and did my best to forget it. It wasn't till the very end of the school year where I had to do something to have you acknowledge me and wow... did I come up with one hell of a plan. Making my late work as an excuse to talk to you, lol. And when you asked for my kik. ♡ God... did I feel like the luckiest girl ever. And how I we talked throughout the school day. ♡ (I still have the ♡ shortcut as "Ruis" lol). It was great. On test day, how I sat by you instead of that one guy who sat at our table, lol. I felt very nervous and maybe that's why I failed the test so badly, but just sitting by you was a dream come true. I remember our final exam for the first semester we sat on the same row but just opposite sides of the room and I hated it. But on that test day where I sat with you, I hated how I had to move from where I was, but I was glad there was an open seat where you were at. It must've been some kind of fate, ya know? And remember how I said I would go to H Mart and get you things and I did? And I met up with you on the last day of school and that hug you gave me by the restrooms on the second floor? It was so tight. And strong xD I loved it so much and it was all I could think of during the summer. Summer Summer Summer. Like I said, we talked. Shared things to each other. Talked. ♡ My favorite night is where you showed me music. How we listened to The Gorillaz Melancholy Hill. ♡ I felt like I was gazing at the stars when I stared up at my ceiling listening to you play it. My favorite memory of that summer. Then school came and it was our senior year. Wow did that pass by through... When I wanted you so bad. How I kissed your cheek and that's pretty much how we got together. Then you got my Lord Of The Rings' ring and proposed lol. My reaction was bad, though. But I loved that little propose. When you came out to the fair to see me. Wow. It was so good. Being with you at night in the fair. I loved it. How we spent together during lunch. The staircase. Then the hallway. Our first kiss by the huge window with downtown showing. ♡ How awkward it might have been since it was our first kiss ever. But then we got super better at it as time passed. But wow... Lunch break. When I made you lunch XD the sandwiches lol and chips and whatever I could put in there for us lol and those certain moments, haha. And after school when you rushed our goodbye kisses because your dad or sometimes your mom would be waiting for you, lol. The selfies we took together and how we edited pics of each other, omg. Thank you, Line Camera. And then the downs that happened... I guess it happened for a reason, Luis. I mean, you were used to being single and I was... too into you that I got super hurt. When I got upset to the point I laid my land across your face which is something I regret deeply. Hate myself for it. But we made up. We lasted. We went to Prom. We had our first slow dance to "I don't wanna miss a thing" and I said "Saints Row" XD We had our first moment in the car, then your bedroom. And we graduated. Another summer apart but we made it work. We saw each other. We went to the movies. Now freshman year in college. Downs. Ups. Moments. Second semester coming to an end, and we fall apart. I hate it. Looking back, we had so much together. We built this together. To see it fall down is just... unbearable. I loved you, Luis. I've always have. I always will. I know we are young. I know we made mistakes. None of us is perfect. I know now, I'm not what you want. I know I'm not perfect. I know my body type isn't ideal. I know my attitude can be a handful. I know I have to mature. But I figured we could grow together. Mature together. Physically change together. I believe we still can, but not as a couple now. You've made the decision and it's finalized. I can only support and respect it... It's just hard, Luis. It's difficult. Your voice. Your personality. Our hugs. Our kisses. Our sense of humor. The nicknames we gave each other throughout the years. It's just hard to see all that go away. To see you go away. I love you. I still do. Yeah, it hasn't been long, but trust me. Like I said in the beginning, I wouldn't be the first to leave this relationship. Nor would I be the first to lose feelings. You're different, Luis. I fell hard knowing that. Knowing you wouldn't harm me in any way. And I know you want the best for me, for you, for us, but... it's just hard, baby. It really is. I know I can say I feeling nothing, but that's bs. I'll always love you, Luis. I'll always care for you. You mean so much to me. I just hope I don't lose you entirely. Perhaps one day, we could try again. My heart, my arms, my mind, will always be open for you, Luis. Always. Loving you was the best things I've experienced. I do not regret it at all. I want to relive it if it were possible. The moment I laid eyes on you. The moment I got courage to approach you. The moment I got to feel the first hug. The moment when we stayed up talking all through summer. The moment I first kissed your cheek. The moment we had our first kiss. The moment I would wait in the cold, heat, cool, rain weather for you before school. When we went to our spot to just have a small moment together. The moment we spent our lunch our together. Playing Xbox games together. Prom. Our first time, and times after that. Dates to the movies. Graduation. First semester college. If it were possible, I would relive it all, and everything in between. I love you, Luis D. Salas. You mean the world to me. Although our break up tears me apart on the inside, that isn't enough for me to stop loving you. I'll always be there for you. Always. -With love and care, Tiffany [6:19AM END]