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5:20AM 04-09-17
I doubt you will ever come across your Tumblr account again, Luis but here are some thoughts that I've been having lately about this whole situation. I know, I know, this is a very coward way of telling you this, but for now, it's what I'm going to do regardless. So, first things first, we broke up. This break up has lasted for some time, and I think it's going on a month. Maybe. I don't know. Fuck the date, lol. Obviously I was not too fond of the decision. The countless times I've cried about it. The questions I've asked. Getting mad over it as well I believe? Well, yeah. I hated it. It's the worst. Ironically, it's the worst event that has happened to us, yet it's the last event for us. Whoa. Now I feel quite numb about it. Well, not entirely numb, but it's something I can think about and feel pretty much nothing. My heart sinks a little, but after that, I'm numb. (Btw, I'm listening to the song you showed me when we first started talking. Eddie - 操蛋的世界 [Farewell] and I just had the thought that maybe you dedicating that song to me meant something in the future, which is now... idk lol) Aside from the numbness, I don't really know where to go from here. Being used to you, the time we spent together, I feel lost. Somehow... I will forever, and I mean forever, cherish our moments together. God... this song is giving me flashbacks. When we stayed up talking. Through Skype. When I sent videos of me talking random Korean on Kik. You saying I sounded sexy? Lol. Me wanting and begging you to talk to me. It was during our summer break. And how we would text throughout the days. I honestly felt like I was bothering you and did my ultimate best to not reply too fast, although I really wanted to because I enjoyed talking to you so much. Ah... our little talks. We talked about random things too. But how you opened yourself up to me. So beautiful. Thinking now, how quiet we were in Ms. Everett's class. We sat together throughout the second semester. From day one, I knew there was something about you. The small presentation we had to do, watching you, listening to you... you turned red... I had heart eyes for you, Luis. But of course, I got distracted with another person, but every time I went to that class.. looking at you just made me forget about the other idiots. I wanted you. Then again, I thought I was being dumb, and did my best to forget it. It wasn't till the very end of the school year where I had to do something to have you acknowledge me and wow... did I come up with one hell of a plan. Making my late work as an excuse to talk to you, lol. And when you asked for my kik. ♡ God... did I feel like the luckiest girl ever. And how I we talked throughout the school day. ♡ (I still have the ♡ shortcut as "Ruis" lol). It was great. On test day, how I sat by you instead of that one guy who sat at our table, lol. I felt very nervous and maybe that's why I failed the test so badly, but just sitting by you was a dream come true. I remember our final exam for the first semester we sat on the same row but just opposite sides of the room and I hated it. But on that test day where I sat with you, I hated how I had to move from where I was, but I was glad there was an open seat where you were at. It must've been some kind of fate, ya know? And remember how I said I would go to H Mart and get you things and I did? And I met up with you on the last day of school and that hug you gave me by the restrooms on the second floor? It was so tight. And strong xD I loved it so much and it was all I could think of during the summer. Summer Summer Summer. Like I said, we talked. Shared things to each other. Talked. ♡ My favorite night is where you showed me music. How we listened to The Gorillaz Melancholy Hill. ♡ I felt like I was gazing at the stars when I stared up at my ceiling listening to you play it. My favorite memory of that summer. Then school came and it was our senior year. Wow did that pass by through... When I wanted you so bad. How I kissed your cheek and that's pretty much how we got together. Then you got my Lord Of The Rings' ring and proposed lol. My reaction was bad, though. But I loved that little propose. When you came out to the fair to see me. Wow. It was so good. Being with you at night in the fair. I loved it. How we spent together during lunch. The staircase. Then the hallway. Our first kiss by the huge window with downtown showing. ♡ How awkward it might have been since it was our first kiss ever. But then we got super better at it as time passed. But wow... Lunch break. When I made you lunch XD the sandwiches lol and chips and whatever I could put in there for us lol and those certain moments, haha. And after school when you rushed our goodbye kisses because your dad or sometimes your mom would be waiting for you, lol. The selfies we took together and how we edited pics of each other, omg. Thank you, Line Camera. And then the downs that happened... I guess it happened for a reason, Luis. I mean, you were used to being single and I was... too into you that I got super hurt. When I got upset to the point I laid my land across your face which is something I regret deeply. Hate myself for it. But we made up. We lasted. We went to Prom. We had our first slow dance to "I don't wanna miss a thing" and I said "Saints Row" XD We had our first moment in the car, then your bedroom. And we graduated. Another summer apart but we made it work. We saw each other. We went to the movies. Now freshman year in college. Downs. Ups. Moments. Second semester coming to an end, and we fall apart. I hate it. Looking back, we had so much together. We built this together. To see it fall down is just... unbearable. I loved you, Luis. I've always have. I always will. I know we are young. I know we made mistakes. None of us is perfect. I know now, I'm not what you want. I know I'm not perfect. I know my body type isn't ideal. I know my attitude can be a handful. I know I have to mature. But I figured we could grow together. Mature together. Physically change together. I believe we still can, but not as a couple now. You've made the decision and it's finalized. I can only support and respect it... It's just hard, Luis. It's difficult. Your voice. Your personality. Our hugs. Our kisses. Our sense of humor. The nicknames we gave each other throughout the years. It's just hard to see all that go away. To see you go away. I love you. I still do. Yeah, it hasn't been long, but trust me. Like I said in the beginning, I wouldn't be the first to leave this relationship. Nor would I be the first to lose feelings. You're different, Luis. I fell hard knowing that. Knowing you wouldn't harm me in any way. And I know you want the best for me, for you, for us, but... it's just hard, baby. It really is. I know I can say I feeling nothing, but that's bs. I'll always love you, Luis. I'll always care for you. You mean so much to me. I just hope I don't lose you entirely. Perhaps one day, we could try again. My heart, my arms, my mind, will always be open for you, Luis. Always. Loving you was the best things I've experienced. I do not regret it at all. I want to relive it if it were possible. The moment I laid eyes on you. The moment I got courage to approach you. The moment I got to feel the first hug. The moment when we stayed up talking all through summer. The moment I first kissed your cheek. The moment we had our first kiss. The moment I would wait in the cold, heat, cool, rain weather for you before school. When we went to our spot to just have a small moment together. The moment we spent our lunch our together. Playing Xbox games together. Prom. Our first time, and times after that. Dates to the movies. Graduation. First semester college. If it were possible, I would relive it all, and everything in between. I love you, Luis D. Salas. You mean the world to me. Although our break up tears me apart on the inside, that isn't enough for me to stop loving you. I'll always be there for you. Always. -With love and care, Tiffany [6:19AM END]
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:3
Lol bayb, why don’t you EVER use tumblr nowadays? I like, tag u on stuff but you never look at it. :’( </3 o well. anyway, you’re on your way from campus and i miss u a lots. idk why tho. but ye. laaaah u :3 my lil bb.
-Tiffany 9-28-16
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What To Expect From The Zodiac Signs in 2016
Aries: Better job opportunities.
Taurus: Letting go of people and things that no longer serve a purpose in your life.
Gemini: Instead of living life in the fast lane they will be more attentive to the little things in life.
Cancer: To focus more on themselves and not trying to please other people who don’t appreciate it.
Leo: Bigger and better things. They will take more risk that will benefit them in the long run.
Virgo: To be more cautious about who they trust.
Libra: To be more aggressive and not taking any bullshit from anyone.
Scorpio: To have more patience and be more open to trusting others.
Sagittarius: To make the best use of everything that comes your way.
Capricorn: To follow their intuition and travel the world.
Aquarius: To take relationships to a deeper level.
Pisces: Higher expectations and being more assertive when it comes to fashion, music and your love life.
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you all deserve someone who isnt embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, good and bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you. i hope you all find that!!
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