#luna's work is what i look forward too yall...

[idiotthatdrawsakaartist]

so while yall are waiting for the season 4 rewrite and wizards redesigns I've decided to post some ideas i had for a remake if fate the Winx saga. I've been working on a sort of rewrite but i gave up on it long ago because the point of that rewrite was to keep everything as intact as possible and still tell a good story.

long story short i failed : D miserably

so all my ideas amounted to was a few mood boards of the girl's looks, il run you through them :3

Bloom : 

her casual form is quite simple and monochromatic, I like to imagine my version of Bloom fixated on the idea of fairies so much that it became a sort of coping mechanism. thinking of herself as a fairy as a sort of confidence boost has been her go to so her look includes lots of pastels, cute skirts , simple shapes and butterfly motifs. her whole point is : mi like fairies , mi want to look cute :3.

her fairy form is low key a funny story XD basically in my cancelled rewrite, the only thing you get when you transform are your wings. making your outfit is a requirement in order to become a guardian fairy. its sort of like a uniform. it actively shows that you're using your magic and what your here to do. its not taken lightly. a fairy transforming to fight basically means: u, my friend, are fucked :D

this is done ether during your fairy education or right before graduation. and since in my version Enchantix vanished a long time ago, any Enchantix fairies lost the power and any fairies in training have lost the hope of receiving it your base form is treated like your final form since for many fairies of that past, it was. all fairies thus are told

"make your fairy form fancy as shit, people gatta look at you and piss themsleves bc of how badass you looks"

but since Bloom didn't get the memo she made hers incredibly simple, which low key makes her a laughing stock in Alfea. my plan was to use this to deepen hers and Stella's bond since ide like to imagine Stella would help her redesign her outfit XD also I'm diversifying the body types, Bloom is now skinny fat 

her form very closely based off of her OG form bc of that since their base form was quite simple.

Stella :

her casual form is very in line with the types of things her og counterpart would wear, since in my version Solaria would be called the crescent queendom  with fate version of Luna running it. were keeping the whole her mom is abusive thing but where changing a few things.

Stella grows into her own in the Winx club and thus begins showing off her sunny disposition which in a moon queendom is looked down upon. but her outfits would do a 180 once her mom is present. she's suddenly in dark blues, purples ,and silver.

her fairy form is her trying to morph herself to be exactly what her mother wants, everything is moon themed. again dark blues and silver everywhere. Also i changed her body type to being Chubby bc yes :3

Flora :

she's pretty straight forward, her fairy form and casual form follow the same theme of nature. I just made her main colour for her casual form sage while her transformation pink just like in the OG. also I kept her plus sized bc plus sized Flora was a great idea, and than they white washed her :,)

in terms of her fairy form, I leaned in to the cute pink girl horror rpg asthetic aka pocket mirror. i want her to be as custey as possible bc

y e s

Musa :

oh boy her casual form was fun : D , i hate how they feminised her in the later seasons and took this as an opportunity to go FULL IN to the alt fashion she was meant to wear uwu she a lil alt girlie, she's quirky like that uwu.

her fairy form is based more on her culture but still has the edge of her alt fashion sense ^^ I've decided to keep her as skinny since most of the cast now are leaning heavily to the plus sized of the spectrum, I thought ide include the skinny girls in here too ^^ and when i say Skinny i don't mean an hour glass, i mean no boobs, no butt, no nata.

Tecna :

i decided to dive into the hacker aesthetic but make it fairy :3 her wings ( in her base form at least) don't flap, they put her body into a 0G state which allows her to "fly". lots of neon lights with her uwu

her casually outfits are just generally geometric. also i decided to make her thin but to an unhealthy degree. perhaps she could be dealing an illness and we could explore how she feels being mostly in solitude for most of her life :p

Aisha :

she's basically the sporty girl aesthetic incarnate. lots of neutral tones with hints of green and pink :D her basic form is simply meant to be kind of mermaid inspired, also ide like to imagine her Enchantix would give her afro with cute water drops in it and pearls :3

Jesus that was long. anyhow as stated, this rewrite isn't being made anymore bc I've concluded that my challenge wouldn't work. keeping most of it intact and making it good would just simply result in a decent at best show. and us in the Winx fandom aren't going for just fine were going for MAJESTIC UWU

[oh-so-scenarios]

Loose Ends | three

⇢ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ʟᴀsᴛɪɴɢ ɪᴍᴘʀᴇssɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ...ᴛᴏᴏ ʙᴀᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ sᴛɪᴄᴋ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀᴜsᴇᴅ.

⇢ᴄᴇᴏ! ᴋɪᴍ ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ x ᴀᴅᴍɪɴ ᴀssɪsᴛᴀɴᴛ! ғᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴇx-ғɪᴀɴᴄᴇs!ᴀᴜ, ᴀɴɢsᴛ, ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇsᴛᴏʟᴏᴠᴇʀs

**A/N: Yall already know the deal, there are errors! (Word count 6.03K)

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Y/N:

I have to tell her. I have to tell her. There is no way I can keep this from her forever.

I’m staring at the door that led into my roomy 3 bedroom apartment. On the other side was my 17-year-old sister. The bass of the TV was leaking through the door, letting me know that she sat in front of the living room TV.

Today was my 6th day working for Mr. Kim and since the heated discussion four days ago, he barely speaks to me. He barely lifts his gaze to acknowledge my presence and I can’t say I hate it, but I don’t like it either. 

I can’t expect anything from him. The state of things was due to my decisions and even though I am fine with handling that burden, I wasn’t prepared to see his face every day. It’s slowly taking a toll on me. It’s picking away at my resolve and leaving me with a familiar empty feeling I haven’t felt in a long time.

Luna may only be 17 but she worries about me like a mother. It’s been like that since I could remember. I can’t recall when the roles changed. When did I lose my grips of being the older sister, and when did Luna take on that role?

I lean against the wall by the door, staring blankly at the floor. It’s unfair really, how I have leaned on Luna. It’s unfair and cruel because Luna should have been leaning on me. Regret bubbles up in my stomach and travels up my body to leave a bitter taste in my mouth. 

Luna was always my mother’s favorite child. She was the one that received the most hugs, the better presents, and the compliments. As a child, it bothered me. Why was she more important than me? A mother should love her children equally! They should put the same amount of effort into each child. 

But that wasn’t the case with Luna and I. Oh no, Luna needed the extra attention and love because Luna was sick. She’d been sick since birth, but our mom did a good job of hiding it from me. The random walks they’d take together while I stayed at home with my grandmother would leave me in envy. 

But I found out as Luna got older and started to talk that they were going to doctor’s appointments. Juna was born with a weak heart. I never understood the details. Something about a tube she was supposed to have didn’t fully develop. My mother was hiding it from me because she didn’t want me to worry.

Doctors were telling my mother that it would be a miracle if she lived past 22 years old. A horrifying thing to hear from anyone. The fact that my mother didn’t crumple from the stress is unbelievable. This was after my father up and left us. My parents were never married, so when he left after Luna was born, my mother was one her own.

We moved in with our grandmother and my mom worked and worked. All she would do is work. We’d see her on weekends and that’s when she’d pour all her time into Luna. I grew to resent her. I was only 7 when Luna was born, so the present blossomed as I entered adolescence.

However, my mother passed when I was 16. A car accident took her life, leaving us to be raised by our grandmother. My mother worked like crazy, leaving money for that we used for Luna’s medical bills after she passed.

Well, as much of the bills as we could.

Luna adored Namjoon, and when things went to shit 3 years ago, she blamed herself, but what could I have done?

I took my keys out, unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment. Just as I predicted, Luna sat on the couch, her back facing me, with her laptop on her lap and the tv on as background noise.

“You’re home?” She called over her shoulder. She didn’t spare me a glance, clicking rapidly at something. 

“Yeah.” My voice came out thin, which made her clicking stop. She looks over her shoulder at me, her short brown hair pushed behind her ears. Her thin bangs were a distray, a result of her running her fingers through her hair in frustration. 

“Rough day at work?” She questions, keeping her eyes on me for a moment longer before turning back to her laptop. I take off my shoes, and approach the couch, barely peeking at her laptop screen. I take a seat on the loveseat perpendicular to her and watch as she starts to type something.

“An essay?” I assume.

“Yes ma’am.” She answers glancing up at me. Luna does school online, her grades being good enough that she convinced her school to allow her to do most of her senior year online. 

“Luna,” I call out with a heavy heart, “There is something I need to tell you.” 

Without a glance, she hums in response. She wore an oversized black hoodie with pj shorts she found on sale some time ago. She told me she bought them because of the design of avocados on it. I’m not surprised. She loves silly things like that. 

“You know that new contract I started?” 

“The long one you swore you weren’t gonna accept?” She mentions, smiling in a mischievous manner. She only did that because she was also against me doing such a contract. She knew I’d be miserable, and she was right.

“Is the CEO an asshole?” She asks but speaks again right after. “-It’s not like you haven’t handled some rude CEOs before?” 

“The CEO is Namjoon.” I forced it out, and it feels like I was running out of oxygen when I said it. My words are quick and unsteady. 

She looks at me with wide eyes, like she was waiting for me to start laughing and tell her it was a joke. 

“Seriously? The Kim Namjoon?” She questions and moves the laptop off her lap and onto the couch. She leans forward, and she doesn’t look away from me.

“Yeah. He’s the CEO.” I show her a small smile before leaning back in the loveseat. I throw my head back and stare at the ceiling.

“You need to quit.” She orders.

I chuckle, “I knew you were going to say that.” I mutter, still gazing at the white ceiling. 

“Y/n! Come on! You can’t keep working there! This isn’t good for you.” She argues. 

“You think I don’t know that Luna? Seeing his face every day is wearing me down, but I signed the contract. I can’t leave.” I informed her. 

When I picked my head up to see the worried grimace on her face, I sighed and sat up in the loveseat. It was usually comfortable, but today it’s softness was useless. I’m in an uncomfortable situation. This job is leaving me in a constant state of stress.

“It’s not too bad.” I try to lift the mood, “He barely speaks to me, so it’s nothing! He only speaks to me about work.” 

“Y/n.” Her tone is different and she drops her focus to her hands in her lap. I know what’s coming. I know what she’s going to say and I’ve heard it too many times for my liking.

“Luna, don’t even go there!” I groan, shaking my head at the sad sad look in her eyes.

“Y/n, you keep saying this but...I still feel awful! This is all my fault! If it wasn’t for me You and Namjoon would have been marr-” 

“Stop!” My voice comes out in a panic shriek, taking both of us by surprise. Luna jumps at my outburst, her eyes becoming wet with tears.

“Luna, you don’t need to bring it up again. None of this is your fault, okay?” I stand up from my seat, grabbing my bag off the coffee table, and walking around the couch she sat on, and down the hallway. But before I can go far, Luna speaks again.

“Do you still love him?” She shouts. I stop walking and stare down at the carpet. My chest tightens and I lean against the wall for strength. Do I still love him? 

“Y/n? You still love him right?” This time her voice is closer. I turn around to see her standing at the end of the hallway, her hips leaning on the back of the couch. Her eyes showed pity, while she ran her fingers through her bangs. She always does that when she’s stressed. 

We stare at each other and a moment of silence passes before she sighs.

“Y/n…” She whines, taking my silence as an answer, “You need to quit.”

“I can’t.” I answered immediately, “I can’t quit. It doesn’t matter how I feel. He hates me now. Plus, a man like Namjoon...you can never stop loving him.”

“M-maybe this is fate? It’s a second chance.” 

I laughed at her notion and could only shake my head in response. A second chance? What a joke. The sad look in her eyes only makes me want to retreat. I turn my back on her and go into my room, feeling the weight of the past few days on my shoulders. I closed the door behind me and tossed my bag to the side before falling face-first into my bed. The painful memory burned into my mind. It burned like a new fire wound. It stung and the slightest thought back to it made my eyes water. 

The heartbreak in his eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life, but I made a choice. 

《 PAST 》

At this moment, I’d rather be swallowed up by the ground. I’d rather whatever higher power there is, strike me down and end my life at this very moment. It would be less painful. Pulling layers of band-aids from burnt skin would be less painful. At that moment my whole body went stiff. My knees locked, my muscles tensed and my lungs were struggling to take in oxygen.

Maybe it’s because I was holding my breath with my eyes wide. I stared at the man smiling up at me for the past 3 seconds. 

3 seconds. It had only been 3 seconds but it felt like an eternity. I blink, and he smiles back at me. He’s on one knee, holding out the most beautiful ring I have ever seen.

Not a huge rock, but it shines beautifully. A dazzling circular diamond, with smaller diamonds lined around the band. The silver band itself sparkled. In the ring, I could see his love, his hard work, and our years of laughter, tears and good memories.

I left out a harsh breath, my head feeling light as I was holding my breath. My awareness grows and I become aware of where we are. At a fancy restaurant in which it was rented out, making us the only customers. The kitchen staff stood at the back of the restaurant, watching me for my reaction. 

Namjoon. Kim Namjoon, the love of my life and the man I’m pretty sure the universe made for me and I for him. He stares at me with a smile, tears of nerves, and joy coating his loving eyes. It’s only been another 4 seconds. 7 seconds since I saw his lips move I say those words. 

I couldn’t hear them as I was having an out of body panic attack, but his lips moved so I’m sure he said the words.

“Y/n, will you marry me?” 

He said them and I knew he would. I saw this coming and I knew he was going to say these things...so now I know what I have to say. 

I push down the dread pulling in my system and laugh. I laugh in his face, trying my best to not see his hopeful smile drop into a look of anguish and fear. 

“Seriously Namjoon?” I cackled, trying to swallow down the tears that were burning my eyes.

“Marry you?” I hissed. He stays there on one knee, bringing down his arm that was showing me the ring. 

“I-is there something wrong?” His voice trembles and it feels like my heart is turning to ash in my chest.

“Is there something wrong!?” I raise my voice, stepping back from his crouched figure, “Namjoon, what do you have to offer? What do you have to give that makes you think you could be my husband? We just graduated college and you don’t have a cent to your name because you went and got disowned by your rich parents.” 

He gasps, shocked by my words.

“Y/n, I did that for you and for myself! You’re the one that pushed me to go against my parents plans for me. You said you’d stand by myself.” He exclaims, and stands to his feet, the tears in his eyes not the same happy tears as before. 

“As you do what Namjoon? Write poetry? Help other people put out their shitty works? I need stability. You had that when you were listening to your parents.” My voice trembled towards the end, my resolve breaking with every second. 

Namjoon narrowed his eyes at me and staggered back. It was as if his own realization left him physically drained.

“Y/n…” He pauses, staring down at the ground while tears run down his cheeks.

“Did you only get with me because of my family’s money?”

I love you. Namjoon I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I have no choice Joon, but I need to do this. 

“Of course, I did.” I choke out, “After years of friendship, I knew you had a crush on me so I took it to my advantage...but there is no reason to stay with you now.” 

He looks up from the floor and clutches the velvet box in his hands, “I don’t believe you.” 

“Believe it.” 

“Y/n,” He reaches out, holding a hand of mine in his free one, small pants leaving his lips.

“Y/n, please stop. This has to be a joke right? This is going too far!” He squeezed my hand, pleading with me. Hi eyes stayed on my face, scrutinizing my expression for any sign of a joke. He brings me closer to him, his familiar warmth and scent overpowering my senses. 

He stares down at me, in disbelief and anguish all I could see. I almost broke. I could feel my eyes burning with what was going to be tears. My dearest Namjoon gazed at me with a death grip on my hand, knowing that if he let me go, I’d fly away from him like a balloon.

“Get off of me!” I yelped, taking my hand away from his and pushing him back. 

“Y/n.” His voice broke. The sound alone triggered tears too well in my eyes. I turn my head away from his so he doesn’t see them. I grabbed my bag that sat out the dinner table and rushed out of the restaurant. My heels clicked as I got out of the restaurant and onto the street. I don’t know where I’m walking to but my legs just carry me, wanting to run away from the pain.

《 PRESENT 》

It has been a quiet day. It’s been a quiet week. Mr. Kim only speaks to me when needed, falling to having Sana deliver orders to me, making it so I only see Mr. Kim is passing. No surprise, and no hard feelings. This is probably for the best and if we can keep this up for the next 7 months and 1 week...things will run smoothly.

Mr. Kim is currently out of the office, so I sat at the desk with Sana at my side. She worked on some documents for a presentation Mr. Kim will be having. The rights of a book that will be made in a movie are up for discussion. 

While I am setting up a meeting with authors who are looking to publish with Moonchild Publishings. It was 3:37 PM, 6 PM not feeling too out of reach. The place is filled with the constant tapping of the keyboard and the humming of printers and copy machines. Everything was going as normal. 

I sat in my seat, my black & white checkered flare pants making me wonder if my curves were being shown off a bit too much. Despite Mr. Park’s wandering eyes, I was beginning to think that my outfits showed how hard I was trying.

I wore a simple black long sleeve blouse with some tan heels to bring the outfit together. I did a simple hairstyle and rushed out of the house, waking up a bit later than I usually do. The clouds were grey when I left the house, with a humidity thickness in the air. 

So when I was returning from lunch, which Sana followed me to, I felt the first softy warning drops of a storm come. By the time when I reached the top floor in the elevator, it was a full downpour. Mr. Kim hadn’t left the building. He was out of the office but was somewhere doing business.

He had certain types of meetings that though they were on his schedule, the reasonings were unknown. I don’t ask questions, I answer them so there is no point in asking him for details.

I hear the elevator bing from down the hallway and I assume it’s Mr. Kim made his way back. I don’t plan to even look up, seeing as Mr. Kim doesn’t spare us a glance when he enters, so I stopped standing up to greet him, as Sana still does. 

The coldness we show towards each other hasn’t gone unnoticed, making me think back to something Sana said back at lunch.

“You two really hate each other huh? Like old enemies or something.” She laughs it off and takes another bite of her sandwich.

I’m snapped out of my flashback just in time to hear the click of heels. Heels? That couldn’t be-

I looked up to see another familiar figure. An older Korean woman wearing a straight and non-form fitting white dress with a creme colored bag over her shoulder and nestled in between her armpit.

Her light brown hair was up in a neat bun with a sparkling brooch attached. Her light make-up and freshly done nails gave away the lifestyle she lives. She’s rich, she's well off. Her confident posture and expensive heels show that.

She holds her head high and believes she's above the people that work here. She’s also looking at me. No she’s glaring at me. 

I stare back at her and the feeling of disgust crawls it’s way up my throat. I press my lips tightly against each other, clenching my teeth to force a somewhat presentable smile. 

“Mrs. Kim.” My voice was strained, and my muscles were reeling in discomfort. 

She smiles, that same smile she gave me 3 years ago. Pity. Disgust. Superiority. It was all in her smile. It was a victory smile almost, her eyes showed anger. Anger and confusion. She probably thought she'd gotten rid of me, but here I am. Back in her perfect son’s life.

“Y/n, we meet again,” she pauses, “the unfortunate.”

Sana looks back and forth between both of us, her facial expression going from surprise to confusion and finally understanding. She rises from her seat to say hello to Mrs. Kim. I, on the other hand, do no such thing. 

I stay seated and stiffly look back down at the computer.

Sana sits down again, awkwardly clearing her throat and looking at me as if she wanted to speak. The slight trembling of my fingers gave away that I wasn’t going to speak.

“Hello, Mrs. Kim. Your son is out of the office, I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” Sana informs her. I continue to type away at the computer, trying to contain the rage that was causing a sense of anxiety over my body. 

This cursed, evil, and wicked woman. I look up from the computer screen

“That’s fine. I’ll wait in his office.” She answers Sana but keeps her eyes on me. She slowly turns around, happy that I’m watching her. I forget where I am for a moment and roll my eyes at the older woman just as the door to the office closed behind her. 

I looked over to my right and met Sana’s blank facial expression. 

“I’m not gonna ask any questions.” She says.

“Good.” I deadpan and look at the computer screen. I pretend that I don’t feel Sana’s stare linger on my profile. However, I couldn’t help the feeling of heat rising in my body. My body temperature was going up as my anger increased. I forgot how much I hated that woman. I forgot how STUPID she thought I was. Yet in the end, I was exactly what she always accused me of being. 

A lousy woman that would take money over her son. That’s exactly what I did. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, my movements stopping but the trembling of my fingers continuing. 

“Y/n?” Sana called. As if a thin string of my sanity snapped, I stood up from my seat, causing Sana to flinch at the unexpected movement. My breathing becomes labored while I stare at the closed double doors of Mr. Kim’s office. 

Who was the real winner in any of this? Did I get what I wanted out of our stupid deal? Did she get what she wanted? She must have, her smug smile burned into my frontal lobe. It’ll probably hunt me in my dreams, and any random thought of it in the future will cause me anger. 

Like an embarrassing memory that makes you shiver up and regret your decisions. That’s exactly what I’m feeling. I stomped away from the desk and down the hallway, those white walls leaving me to be drowned in my thoughts. I have to find the bathroom. I know there is one in this hallway somewhere. 

I keep my eyes low, stomping quickly to seek a place I can let out my scream of frustration. 

It isn’t till I crash into something hard that my parade is stopped. The scent is familiar but not comforting, causing my stomach to drop. 

“Ms. L/n?” Mr. Kim's voice held no concern but confusion. Why was I not at my desk doing the work that was expected of me? I continued to look down, only staring at his expensive dress shoes and the carpet. 

I took a small step back, my hands balling into fists to keep from reigning my anger onto him. He didn’t deserve that. If anyone is a victim here, it’s Namjoon. I have no right to take this out on him. I also had no right to waltz into his life as I did. He knows that, though not for the same reason as Mrs. Kim and me.

“Sir, I’ll be there in a moment, you have a guest waiting for you in your office.” I take a step to the right, hoping to bypass him, but he mimics me, blocking my way again.

“Where are you going?” He questions, this time crossing his arms over his chest. I don’t have to see his face to know he’s looking down at me with his jaw clenched. In the last 3 weeks, I’ve realized he does that when he suspects I’m up to something. Or what he thinks I’m bullshitting. 

All those suspicions only being grounded in personal feelings, seeing as my work here has been nearly perfect. I picked up on his routine quickly and moved before I had to be told. His charcoal grey three-piece suit looked like a smooth fabric. Something else with a combination of silk. A sign of wealth. 

I almost chuckle to myself at the bitter aftertaste of my choices. I couldn’t even want Namjoon back. It would only play into the gold digger impression I had him believe. I mean, no one expected a small-time publishing company to explode in success in its first two years, then dominate in its third. The 25-year-old CEO became a millionaire. 

Whether it was due to any assistance from his parents, I can’t be sure but...it makes me wonder if he would have still succeeded with me at his side. If I have to lie to myself and say he needed me gone to grow like this, I’ll do it. It makes me feel better. 

I take in a deep breath and slowly look at Namjoon, my eyes moving over his suit and the dark red tie, before meeting his cold eyes. 

I mustered up a smile, while oozed with sarcasm. So unprofessional of me. But this whole work atmosphere is unprofessional. The conflicts of interest would make any businesswoman lose her shit. 

“The bathroom.” I answer, “I am allowed to use the bathroom, aren't I, sir?”

He doesn’t acknowledge the testing edge to my words but asks another question. 

“What guest did you let in my office?” The beginning of him scolding me. I could feel it. My eyes fluttered close in frustration.

“Have you forgotten the rules I laid before? Any meetings that weren’t on my schedule should be turned away. I do not pencil people in-”

“It’s your mother, sir.” My eyes open after saying, “The guest in the office is your mother. She let herself into your office, I was not going to argue with her.” 

His face relaxes from displeasure to...discomfort? He groans and runs his hands over his face before staring at the carpeted floor for a moment. 

“What is that woman doing here?” He says under his breath. I could barely catch it, but there was disgust and unhappiness dripping off the words. My brows furrowed, not expecting that. Their relationship wasn’t repaired after I left?

I bite my lip to hide the victorious smirk that threatens to appear on my lips.

“Carry on.” Mr. Kim says without a glance back at me. He walks past me, no urgency in his movements. I continued down the hallway, past the elevator, and further down till I came to the bathroom marked for women. I was lucky enough to find it empty. I stood there staring at myself in the mirror, feeling like I was having an out of body experience. 

This is what people mean when they say your decisions always come back to haunt you. 

I clear my throat and let out a scream of frustration, knowing that anyone who gets off the elevator at this moment could probably hear it up the hallway.  

  But I don’t care. I need to let this out. I scream against, this time bringing my foot up to kick an innocent stall door.  

《 PAST 》

I don’t belong here. Anyone could tell that I don’t belong here. The eyes of every person that I met held the question of, “What are you doing at a restaurant like this?” 

I was wondering the same thing. I was wondering about all types of things. Why did Mrs. Kim call me here? Why did she tell me not to tell Namjoon? Was she ready to stop forcing her and Mr. Kim senior’s dreams onto Joon and to let him do what he wants?

I bet she is still a bit shocked at Joon taking himself out of the family. He was disowned but also removed himself. The Kims weren’t expecting such action from their son. He was only 21 years old, almost 22, and fresh out of college with the Business degree they forced on him.

The world isn’t easy, so he surely wasn’t serious about throwing his family away? But he did. 

They blame me. The whole family blames me and that’s okay. I was the one encouraging to do such a thing, so I’ll carry my weight of responsibility. I, however, can’t wait to tell her that both Joon and I are doing great without their money. It’s only been a few months since he was disowned, but I haven’t seen Joon so happy in all my years of knowing him.

“I’m here to meet Mrs. Kim?” I said to the host. She nodded, looking me up and down before motioning for me to follow her. I wore a simple tee and some jeans with sneakers. I wasn’t going to dress up for this woman. With how she moves about things, I doubt we’ll be eating anything.

The restaurant was huge, seeming to have different wings and sections for people who wanted to be away from others. I try not to gawk at the luxurious decor, noticing the judgemental looks from the host who was in front of me.

The hostess brings me to a small circular table where Mrs. Kim sat waiting. Her focus was on the table cloth. She traced the small details of the white and gold table cloth, not even looking up as I took my seat. 

“Y/n.” She says sternly, putting her dark gaze on me. 

“How would you like to make a deal?” She continues. My brows furrow and I cock my head to the side. I think for a moment before laughing. 

“Is this like those dramas where you give me a check to leave Joon? Mrs. Kim...you must be joking? You didn’t really call me here for this?” I keep laughing but her stone-cold facial expression doesn’t change. 

“I just want my son back.” She hisses.

“You can have your son back Mrs. Kim. You just need to understand his--” She cuts me off, frustration appearing on her face for a split second.

“You don’t understand, do you? Namjoon is never gonna open his arms to us as he did before! I don’t know what nonsense you put into his head, but if you get out of the picture, any last strands of this riff will be gone.’

“Excuse me?” I say.

“I don’t leave loose ends Y/n. You are a loose end of this rebellious and hard patch I’ve been having with my son. Which is why I simply cannot let you stay.” She smirks, reaching for the glass of water that was sitting in front of her this whole time.

She can’t be serious! What type of entitled selfish--

“Namjoon is going to ask you to marry him.” She states after getting a sip of water. 

My breath is knocked out of me, “H-huh?”

“You heard me right,” she gives me a pointed look. As if she couldn’t believe that I didn’t see this coming. 

“He told me himself Y/n….at least during an argument he did. Seeing as there is no ring on your finger,” Her eyes flicker to my hands that sat on the table, “He hasn’t asked you yet.”

She wasn’t giving me time to move past the initial shock of Namjoon’s proposal. He’s going to ask me to marry him?

I brought a hand to my chest, trying to catch my birth. 

“Y/n, I’m sure it’ll be a lovely ceremony,” She pauses, “too bad Luna won’t be there.” 

My happy mood is lost. The surprised smile left my lips while my face twisted up in pain. 

“E-excuse me?”

“Your sister Luna,” She gives an ungenuine pout, “Poor girl is sick right? And from what I heard getting worse.” My eyes burn and blur with tears. She’s right.

Luna is getting worse and worse. They say she’ll need surgery soon because her odds aren’t looking good. Namjoon has done his best to be the supportive rock for us both. Luna already believes her time is coming to an end and I have to smile and tell her to stay hopeful, all while having the same thoughts.

She has been on the waiting list for a heart transplant for the last 2 years and we’re still nowhere near where we need to be. As if I could even afford the surgery once she gets a transplant. 

The doctor told me it’ll be another 3 years before she could get a heart donor, and in the same breath told me she wouldn’t last a year without one. Life is cruel.

Mrs. Kim isn’t phased by my tears, and through my blurred vision, I think she smiles wider. 

“Y/n,” She leans close as if she has a secret she’s been dying to tell me. Her dark eyes were now bright with mischief. 

“Reject Namjoon’s proposal. Tell him you’re done with him and turn your back on him. That’s all I need from you and I can get your sister moved up on the transplant list. I could get her ready for surgery by tomorrow if I wanted to. I’ll pay for everything.”

I leaned back in the seat, a sob ripping through my chest at her proposition. My hands fell into my lap and I looked down at them.

“I mean, you’re not going to let your precious sister die are you?” She egged on, making my sobs grow stronger, “A big sister should do everything in their power to save their siblings right?”

Namjoon’s smiling face flashed into my mind, followed by my sister’s face. She sat there weak and scared in her hospital bed with a small smile on her lips.

“At least I'll be able to see mom soon.” She said softly. 

I bring my hand up to my chest, slouching over in my seat with my hand gripping at the fabric of my shirt. It feels like my heart is tightening up. Growing tight in the grips of the reality of what’s in front of me. 

The pain was running throughout my whole being, leaving me unable to speak words. 

“So are you going to pick Namjoon or Luna? What will the choice be Y/n?”

I don’t know how long I’m sitting there crying but Mrs. Kim doesn’t stop me, watching me with judgmental eyes. It might have been the tears in my eyes but for a small second, I thought I saw some sadness in her eyes. 

I struggled to catch my breath, sniffling, and wiping the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hands.

“So what will it be?” She asks when my breathing returns to normal.

I clench my teeth, fighting off the second wave of tears that tickled my eyes. 

“I-I’ll...I’ll leave Namjoon. I’ll do it.” 

《 PRESENT》

I walk out of the bathroom, knowing I was already 5 minutes past the appropriate time someone takes to use the bathroom. I walk down the hallway, my steps quick to get back to my desk before Mr. Kim has a reason to yell at me. 

I meet an angry Mrs. Kim coming in the opposite direction. When we lay our eyes on each other, other steps slow, leaving us in a silent staring match. We stood about 4 yards from each other, the tension being so thick, I thought I could feel it around me.

“Seems like your son still hates you.” I jeer with a grin.

She snickers, taking slow strides towards me, “What? Does it make you feel like you’re a winner?” She looks me up and down with the same look of pity she gave me while I sobbed in front of her 3 years ago.

“All I know is that you weren’t able to repair that so-called relationship with your son. You should have known I had nothing to do with that.”

She stops just as she’s walking past me, her eyes forward while she stood right beside me. 

“Don’t worry Y/n...knowing that the questions of ‘What If’ that haunt you at night will always cause you to hate yourself, is all I need. In the end...only a fool would think they’ve won such a battle.”

Her words make my blood run cold, and I grow stiff as she continues to waltz away, stopping at the elevators. I stand there frozen long enough to hear the ding as the doors open, and the ding as they close.

It seems this time around, there are no winners after all. Just two losses and a casualty that is the one and only Kim Namjoon.

∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ❣

Alrightty! So the story can finally start to really get moving! I’m excited! :D

There were people who told me they wanted to be on the taglist for this but i sadly lost the list I had! 

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! I’m excited to see what you think of it and how you think things will progress. 

[ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive]

Anonymous said: 

What are some blogs that you consider part of your rp family?

> Aww anon this is a really cool question. Well I have a particular group of people that are pretty much my always follow. I know people do those follower forever but I haven’t done any before. I get overwhelmed as it is with the amount of people who follow me but some blogs that I will never not be following are: 

@coffee-and-guns​ @theyearningtofly​ Uh hello. Have you seen the babes Lotus and Asuka? Feli has some dolls right here and I stan them to death. They don’t get the interaction or attention they deserve and I will fight until they do. Lotus is 60′s pre-tumblr babe. I’m talking OTP from the onset. He literally will destroy the city of Detroit for her. He will go to hell and back for her. It’s amazing how much this ship has taken over my life but our crazy amount of verses and aus is very telling. We have a ton of plot. Lotixty reigns supreme. And Asuka is my Connor’s waifu as well as Callum’s wife. Best babe.  @diivinerose​ Daniela is not just one beautiful muse. She is so diverse in her three verses that she is pretty much a multi. Curly is my chaos doll but also a shy bean with such great ideas. Our aus are another wild treasure trove. Each verse has something favorite in it. Each rendition I love and DD60 considers Main D his true love. Mad D is the other half of the toxicity known as Corla with my boy Corvus. The ship of Main D and Connor was a surprise in the beginning. I didn’t expect it but I’m glad it happened. Cause I just love her clinical coolness against this supposed cool machine who has more emotion than he should now as a deviant. Best Babe.  @stayhuman-genevieve​ @leaderawakened​ @pathdiverted​ Gen is amazing. Markus is tops. 52 is a babe. OK but also Amanda, Louis, Anarchy the list goes on. All of these muses are amazing and it’s just such a privilege to write with such a wonderfully developed original in Genevieve. She is 60′s weak spot. The ruthless one gave up Cyberlife for Gen. That takes some doing. But they have a ton of shit they went through including a terrorist takeover by that aforementioned Anarchy. We have such great plot ideas and I can’t get enough of them. Main Connor and Markus for my gal too. Main Markus all around. I love him damn it. Genevieve is also my Connor’s waifu. DD60 on the other hand.... just don’t let him alone with Corrupted Gen. OTP status right here. Best Babe. 

@dcwnxism​ @soulxism​​ @lethalxarsenal​ @wintcrcoded​ @resentfuldrcgon​ OK but here the list goes on as well. All of these muses canon and original are just amazing. Iron is the queen of angst. Hands down the best at making me cry. One of these days I’m gonna get her back for all the pain. lol Not only is Nines (now known as Cassius) my canon RK900 but my 60′s exclusive 900 bro. That took some doing let me say. Aiden is 60′s soulmate. Sixden is a ship I never expected but it snuck up on me. I love him. I love Lexi so much. She needs more attention. The one Gavin my Connor will put up with.... as an enemy of course. Oh and WuXian? Caleb loves him already. They will shine bright. Best Babe. 

@creatorofclay​

Did somebody ask for the only Kamski of my life? Well look no further than Kam/Ash/Clay right here not only making me appreciate Elijah but turning me to liking him as a character. I didn’t think much of him when I played the game. But let me tell you waifu right here writes him with such humanity (even when he’s being an ass) that gives such a new perspective. 60 is still on that creator nonsense but it’s in the demon au where he gets to shine with his affection or rather verbal brawls effectively with Elijah. My exclusive Kamski. Don’t @ me. Best Babe. 

@rk800isalive​ @imabittercoffee​

Waifu spotted! My platonic soulmate right here. Eme is someone who gave me a wonderful springboard for Sixty to get his hate on with Connor. That hate took a turn I never expected early on. These two wound up getting over their altercation at the tower. They wound up becoming siblings. The only Connor that 60 considers a brother in his main verse. Let me say the work up for this was some good old work. We wrote so many things with them and still do. I adore their human au. Let’s not forget Sierra. I love this bitch. She’s such a contrast to Caleb but man I’m digging it. Also she is the unofficial goth wife of Corvus but you’ll never hear it from him. Or...will you? thinksmirk Best Babe.

@et-liliium​ @musesdivine​

My baby Cherry has wonderful original dolls and I still miss them. BUT I’m super excited to see Lily on her own blog and my babe slowly getting back into the fandom. Sixty is looking to corrupt that sweet flower but it’s Connor that is absolutely in awe of her. He is in love. Let’s not forget Lily being the good to Corvus’ bad. We got some good shit planned for them. She’s the android Suzanne pretty much ;) Seriously check out these wonderful female muses. They are amazing and deserve all the love in the world. Best Babe.

@robobiitch​

Let me throw some love on Moe right here. Yall wanna see full on enemies with Sixty? Look no further but man we have some good ass plot with assassin au with a little dose of angst. Lust already hates/loves his brother-in-law in the other demon verse. The shenanigans are bound for some good shit. A wonderful Connor and that’s the bottom line cause ruthless sixty said so. Literally such a fun and cool person. I love plotting and just hanging. Best Babe. 

@anderson-residence​

Have you seen these muses? I love every single one and Alley always has something in my inbox that either makes me laugh or worry. lol Sending YK to Corvus is probably not the best idea but I love it. I love chatting about aus, plots and everything in between. Each muse is one I enjoy seeing and I really want to interact more with all of them. Sixty just wants to push Hank’s buttons and probably wants to kill Connor but.... lol Best Babe.

@rxseguided​ @repliicantceo​

A literal bab right here. Jesse, Eli and Elliot are all originals that bring so much more to the plate. If you haven���t seen Jesse in action what are you doing? The evil bitch’s daughter herself? Well then sign me up. Cupcake is a doll and her muses are chef kiss. Got it? Good. Lust loves his angel mom but DD is also in love. ;) Elliot is legit one of Corvus’ official cronies. That’s an honor in the worst way possible. Gotta love that human sk verse with Corvesse. Best Babe.

@triptocained​ @syntheticisolation​

Let me tell you all a story about a fed drenched in heavy rain..... No this isn’t a pun. I swear but Norman is literally a highlight and I’m looking forward to that enemies shit with Sixty. Bringing Jayden into the DBH universe is the best damn thing to happen. Danny brings him to life perfectly. I haven’t seen anybody else do this much justice. Norman is yours alone and deserves all the attention. Also let’s not forget Richard. Look I love this knife happy bastard. 60 still wants to show off Monica but he can wait as long as it takes. Always a pleasure to see on my dash. I’m in love. Best Babe. 

@fearlessandchaotic​

Original babes need more love and Hana his no different. Ely has such development and constant shenanigans I love to see on my dash. It’s always wonderful to see but also Sixty is over the moon for Hana. He hates to admit it but the best thing was coming back to his fiery fox. These two have such chemistry with their ruthless selves they’d sit around and poke fun at people instead of working on a case. Seriously go give the female muses their due love damn it.  Best Babe. 

@vexeddetective​

Vex is a precious babe that I adore the hell out of. Sixvin is here fam. Sixty likes to push Gavin’s buttons. We all know how that shit goes down. I will legit protec this babe. Not Gavin tho. He can fight his own battles and most likely end up wrestling with Sixty. That might end up messy good. Also Lucifer.... whenever he pops up my gal Jade is just: well he’s tall and scary. She probably secretly has a soft spot for him. We’ll have to find out. Please go follow for these two muses. You know you want to bishes. Best Babe. 

@swat-cptn-allen​ @det-gavin-reed​

My canon Allen right here. There is no one else who puts this much love into this muse. Webby is a literal precious bean. Sixty loves and hates Joseph. DD is definitely sof for him. Let that sof boy show his dom ;) I love the way Allen is given more development and his own unique persona from the little we see in game. I never imagined liking this character that much but Webby certainly has made me a fan of him. Please go give my canon Allen some love! Best Babe. 

@ambitiouslyruthless​ @fragmented-personage​

Goov is a babe. I have followed them for a while now and Vius was always a unique bab to see on my dash. Sixty still wants to pounce on him. Results may vary into ruthless territory BUT let him love on this original muse. He deserves more attention and love. Let him be that bastard to Gavin. Such a unique portrayal of Gavin that is totally one of my faves to see. I’m excited for the werewolf/vamp thread. Also can’t wait to see what happens with them in their main verses. Best Babe. 

@thirum-stained​

Always a delight on my dash and one of the earliest people to give my blog here a chance. Luna is a doll who has so many amazing muses and not just in the DBH fandom. Vanessa is Sixty’s waifu. She snuck up on him by surprise. He never imagined to fall in love but he sure did here. I adore all of the muses you tackle. I want to interact more with all of them. They’re forever follows on my dash for a reason. Best Babe. 

@theveryfirst​

This is my one and only Chloe. My literal canon babe. No one else compares and Heather is an all around sweetheart with amazing ideas. The plotting is always something I look forward to as well as just being able to chat. One of the earliest to follow me and still going strong on that forever follow list. Sixty adores Chloe. He feels for her more than he’d ever realize. Until he does. Corvus is still waiting to gets his hands on this angelic android. Best Babe.

> There are so many of you who follow that are so talented. It’s near impossible to give love to you all but there are some new babes who just followed that I’m looking forward to writing with. <3

[ac-ars]

3 times Matteo distracted Luna unintentionally and one time he did it on purpose

hi its been a little, ive been drowning in work and cold, but thats not the topic

exactly two years ago, this bitch came to soy luna fandom and she wrote a fic exactly with this title and the very same plot, but today she is here with the version that is actually not as cringy, so lets enjoy this

yeah its been two years of me spamming you with my shit yall

(this is s1 in case you need to know)

🌙

3 times Matteo distracted Luna unintentionally and one time he did it on purpose

She finds it weird. Weird, and strange, and suspicious. Having him always there, somewhere in the background or passing by randomly, always when she is talking to someone or zoning out, deep in her thoughts. She wonders if it’s something new, or if she just started noticing it now, recently. If she started paying attention to his person more than before. Or maybe he simply decided it’s time to creep around her, or maybe she is just paranoid. 

1/

Ambar is whiny again, moving her hands wildly in the air, huffing and flipping her hair back. Luna just lets her keep this steady face while trashing her, and honestly the brunette doesn’t care. She just happened to be in the bad place at wrong time, overhearing some shady shit Ambar was talking about someone and Jazmin noticed Luna behind the back of annoyed blonde. Now she has to listen whole long lecture about how she needs to learn to mind her own business and not put her nose where she shouldn’t.

Luna doesn’t care at all, she literally just wants to go home, change and run to Roller, but apparently life is testing her and her next obstacle is Ambar with Jazmin, standing in her way on the hallway. She doesn’t want to be rude or mean, and she doesn’t interrupt the blonde and at first focuses on Jazmin, who with crossed arms very seriously keeps nodding her head at every word her /friend/ says.

When it’s too much for Luna to manage watching the girls, she moves her eyes somewhere around so it doesn’t look like she is ignoring the drama, she searches for a thing that catches her eyes and oh boy, this boy definitely is a good thing to stare at, while ignoring drama.

He is leaning against the wall casually, having some ugly, fat book in his hands, his long legs in those dark uniform pants. Luna hums tiny, definitely liking what she sees, and takes her eyes higher, very grateful to the person who invented school uniform, or at least here in Blake, because damn this jacket on his shoulders and around his arms is having her at least messy. If it weren’t Matteo Balsano she would have thought he is hot.

She licks her lips a little with tiny sigh, until someone waves their hand in front of her face and Luna pouts in the first instinct, but then stops as soon as possible, seeing this dramatic wrinkle on Ambar’s forehead.

“Lunita, are you even listening, or you are just taught to listen only when you aren’t supposed to?” Smith rolls her eyes, talking probably too loudly if Luna were the one to judge

“What?” She asks and Ambar huffs offended before flipping her hair once again.

Jazmin half shuts her eyes, making her eyelids flutter angrily. “You weren’t listening, were you?” she asks and Luna wants to answer something, she doesn’t know what yet, but before she manages, the blonde speaks instead. “We will finish this conversation at home. Be careful for next time and try to not make any mess.”

Ambar leaves and Luna just watched her storming quickly and Jazmin running after her awkwardly. Great.

2/

She is sitting with Nina in the Roller and trying to somehow do their physics homework. Or more like trying to do Luna’s, because Nina has her done and since they got different exercises, it’s even worse. Except that the day is very nice, the place is chill since most of the people decided to stay outside because of the weather.

Nina is explaining some weird thing about gravity, which actually makes sense for few first minutes, Luna manages to listen and get all of what her friend is saying right now and showing on the pictures from the book. Everything is amazing, yet only until she catches some laugh, very familiar laugh and the endlessly curious part of her just looks at the direction said laugh came from.

He is there again, entering the cafeteria with Gastón, laughing at something, maybe a joke or a meme. Luna likes his laugh, and she also likes him laughing. He always has those shining eyes and this one single dimple in his cheek, the sound of his laugh makes her relaxed and she always wonders why he is only rarely like this with her, why does he always have to tease her and fresa around.

Their eyes cross for a moment, and he smiles, making her smile back and look at the book again with tiny blush, because she isn’t sure if he knows he just caught her at staring, and they are only friends, so staring isn’t a friends thing.

She can feel that he is still gazing at her and when she tries to check after a moment, there is paper sheet covering him and Luna guesses it’s study time again.

“Luna, what are you doing?” Nina asks a little amused, the brunette judges that her friend knows who she was looking at. “Tell me you understood at least a beginning.”

Luna smiles and nods. “Yeah, the beginning yes and a part of the middle, are we gonna continue now?”

Nina shrugs and takes a sip of her smoothie. “I think we should have a break.”

3/

Today is the Simón day. They hang out at first after her school and make some Mexican food with her mom, then they go to the Roller and sing something, and now they are on the rink, trying to get some new choreography for the team, and in general she loves him so much it hurts. Or no, it doesn’t hurt. Loving Simón could never, ever hurt her.

He is telling her about Rollerband’s songs that they have written, currently planning some video. She couldn’t be happier that he found here friends who have the same dream about making music, who help him make it all happen.

Actually right now it’s her working time, she is supposed to make sure no one kills themselves while trying to make a spin, or just get on the skates, and the one dying today will be Luna Valente herself, because he is again in the same place as she is, and he looks so good her face is already getting warm.

Ramiro is showing off currently, jumping on one skate and telling something to Matteo, she can’t really catch what, but the latter repeats exactly what his curly-haired friend just did, and this smug smirk is having Luna dying already.

It’s time for Matteo to do some fancy and impressive shit, and she just skates around backwards before jumping so he is skating forwards now and she knows that he didn’t get the king of the rink title without a reason.

Not to mention this soft, lavender shirt, that must be new, because she hasn’t seen this one yet, with rolled up sleeves and first buttons undone. His hair is kinda messy, untidy like someone brushed their fingers through it few times and Luna guesses that Matteo did it himself, after jumping and skating around. When Ramiro tries to do the same, Balsano looks at Luna and smiles, call her dramatic but the world stops, so she smiles back at him while taking strand of her hair behind her ear. It falls back, and he raises his eyebrow before winking at her and turning away and she sighs.

“Luna, do you think it’s a good idea?” Simón asks her and she notices he asks, and that he is expecting an answer now with this puppy smile and hopeful shine in his eyes.

“Yes, he is perfect.” She says, not really caring what exactly.

He frowns at her and touches her shouldr. “What? Who?”

She almost chokes now because this woke her up and he is waiting for her to say something and confirm or deny that she is mentally ill.

“No, I mean I’m perfect, I mean I’m okay and the idea it’s nice, it should work.”

Simón sends her lazy smile, this one saying that he has seen through her bullshit and knows what happened, and why and yet he will just let her get away with it, that’s how much of a best friend he is.

“Okay, I hope you don’t mind me going to the boys now, but if I won’t tell them the idea now later I will forget it, we both know this.”

She nods smiling and lets him kiss her cheek, and as soon as he is gone she sighs covering her face with her hands. She will die soon in some way and she kinda can’t wait for it.

+1/

Luna has never thought that this day would ever come, but yet here she is in her bedroom, sitting on her bed, surrounded by the books and next to her is sitting very focused and very casual Matteo Balsano. Yeah, the one you all know and you’ve hear of. He is here, because they needed to study and he said it would be chiller at her place. Her parents actually did let them go upstairs, only if they will leave the door open, but still.

It’s not like something would ever happen here.

He, as the smart astronomy creep guy he is, is explaining her some differences between the planet and planetoid. She is still a little surprised with every chance she gets to experience how much of a nerd this boy is, how he talks using fancy book words, but in the way that she understands, he makes it easy to get and remember and she hopes he will have some free time before the finals.

So now she is using her chance to be able to focus only on him, to watch his mouth as he is reading from the book and telling her about the picture on the paper, she is using it because she doesn’t need to explain why is she like that and it’s just a perfect chance. If she has to be honest she already knows that planetoid is just an asteroid, though he seems so happy that he is able to talk something about space and cosmos she will let him talk as much as he wants to.

His voice is calm, and soft like quiet music, maybe a little rough at the same time, and it’s definitely nice change that he isn’t making fun of her. It’s a rare thing, so Luna definitely appreciates this, thinking that it’s maybe very special moment, her parents won’t really try to interrupt them so they are alone and it’s just so nice.

“What’s on your mind, delivery girl?” he asks with different voice, a little curious.

“It’s nothing, mostly planetoids,” she says, probably blushing a little and most likely this sold her, because he smiles. “I think it’s something very different.”

“Stop being a snob, Matteo and teach me how to be smart.”

He laughs at this, a little louder than normal chuckle and she can only laugh with him and relax her muscles. Balsano pokes her on the rib and sighs. “There is not much to do, and this is an important thing, so let’s do it quickly and get over it. What do you think?”

Luna pouts tiny, because if he says something is important, then it’s probably difficult as well and she doesn’t wanna difficult. “Okay. But later cookies.”

“Yes cookies,” he nods smiling. “But for now you gotta come over here and see the picture in the book.” So she does, she does sit next to him humming and looking at the pretty, colorful picture, the colors are so nice and she doesn’t really think of the shape itself.

It’s too hard for her, too hard to have to focus on important stuff when her brain doesn’t wanna. Like she knows that she has to do this, and she will probably never have as good teacher as this boy next to her, but at the same time this is very unfair that she ended up with him, because she wants to focus on him, on the way their knees are touching, how his voice gets a little messy when she moves a little closer to see better in the book, how the air is heavy and she can’t breathe without taking in his smell into her lungs.

He is too close for her to stay sane, to be able to study anything except the light brown flakies in his eyes, she isn’t sure if they have always been there, because his eyes are brown, yes, but from this distance Luna is able to see how the shape of one of his irises isn’t really perfectly round, and that the closer to the edge it’s darker brown. She wouldn’t be able describe the picture from the book she was looking at like a minute ago, but she would write few page long essay about his look, and this just shows how big her problem is. Also, she wants those long, long lashes of his.

Now to stop being a creep Luna takes her look somewhere else, to his lips, a little chapped and pale, moving since he is talking all the time. He is probably saying something important, something she should memorize and be able to write on the test, but it’s too much for her brain now. She knows how his lips are against hers after this competition when he kissed her only for the choreography, but she really would love to check again.

He sighs and bites on his lower lip, most likely doing it on purpose and this wakes her up. Of course he kows she has been staring and she hates him for that.

Luna quickly jumps with her look to his eyes, directed at her face and she can’t move away even if she wanted. But she doesn’t want to move away, and a second later she actually can’t, because his hand is on her waist, pulling her to him as he presses his lips to hers. Without hesitation Luna rests her fingers on the nape of his neck so she can make sure he won’t run away or think she doesn’t want to kiss him this time, and he smiles against her mouth, which is kinda annoying. At this point she actually doesn’t mind him being an ass and distracting her like this today.

[relationshipcrimes]

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets - anything at all!

oh cool! the writing list that is for-sure committed, the stuff that’s absolutely going to get finished, is:

-QED, to nobody’s surprise. truckin along one week at a time

-grimmons porn, which i SWEAR TO GOD is almost complete i just have to put the last nails in grif’s praisekink coffin

-“Locus’s Garbage Taste In Men,” which is NOT the working title. that’s actually, legitimately, very seriously what it’s called. for yall discord friends, this is what used to be logrimmons, but is now just a truly fucking bizarre romantic comedy starring grif, simmons, socially awkward!locus trying to get them together, locus’s crushing inability to make small talk or any friends who aren’t wearing orange, and five hundred miles of emotional baggage. if i ever meet miles luna, i will compulsively apologize before even saying hello just for having written this. please look forward to seeing it in your email inbox one day.

-original novel, theoretically

some wips that i’m exploring but cant commit to yet because i have too many wips:

-merc!wash AU where the mercenaries pick up wash from tartarus, because wash didnt join the reds and blues at the end of season 8 and instead wound up in hargrove’s jail for failing to secure the epsilon unit. yes, i totally did get it from that one text post. locington with a heavy foundation of felix sticking his grubby fingers into everyone’s brains and wash being Highly Uninterested in having felix play mindgames with him because he’s already been thru that shit with aiden price. the downside is it’s a longfic, so it’d be a huge commitment. on the upside, it would have wash beating up sharkface while they’re both shirtless, caboose whump, and sad guilty carolina as the new blue team leader, so………… shrugs??????

-some oneshot involving a scenario where grimmons does that “do you trust me?” line right before some incredibly stupid stunt probably involving a warthog??

-i swear to fucking GOD i will write the carolina/locus kismesissitude i need to see in the world. for u filthy homestucks out there, it features pale carwash and flushed locington; carolina cant fucking STAND that locus is sleeping w her moirail and decides to kick locus’s ass. the ass-kicking does not go as planned

-EDIT: I FORGOT TO ADD MY FAVORITE WIP, WHICH IS TITLED: “felix yells at some trees”

thanks for tagging me @primtheamazing and @creatrixanimi! <3 i tag @c-airen!

[mattmurdocksscars]

Miscommunication Ch. 11

Yall have waited a very long time for this update, I am so sorry. I hope you enjoy though and know that are likely one or two chapters from the end 💖 this has been an amazing journey and thank you so much for sticking with me! We finally find out who has been sabotaging the missions in this chapter 👀

Word Count: 1912

Warnings: Language, canon-typical violence

Pairing: FO! Poe Dameron x Reader

Tag List:  @himbopoes, @writefightandflightclub, @mellow-f1, @imaginecrushes, @ladyflyer20, @kiaralein, @oakleyves, @nacida-en-la-luna, @morgannope @thegirlwiththebook @twomoonstwosuns @awesomefandomsunited @thesoftdumbass @kittyofalltrades @struggling-bee @amarvelousmandalorian @seeking-a-great--perhaps​ @sheerfreesia007​ @firstordermariposa @darksideofclarke​ @damndamer0n​ @criminal-cookies​​ @poesflygirl​ @huliabitch​ @this-cat-is-dea​ 

I’m gonna be honest, I have not updated my taglist in a while, so I am so sorry if I’ve missed you! (Also, I know that gif is Santi BUT it correctly displays the amount of anger Poe feels so 🤷‍♀️)

Poe and Kylo rush you to the ships, getting you to the medical unit. You’re taken immediately, the medics and their droids rushing to work on saving you. Poe finds himself watching as you’re worked on. Your heart fails twice in the time it takes the transport to get to the Finalizer and each time, Poe’s own heart clenches. He wills you to fight, to live and each time they bring you back. Once they reach the ship, you are rushed to the medical bay and placed in a bacta tank.

One of the medics approaches him and Kylo, explaining the situation to the two. You had undergone torture in that camp, as they had thought, and your body was struggling to maintain itself after the damage done to it. They currently could not guarantee your survival, even with you placed in the bacta tank. Kylo had stormed from the bay at the news, leaving Poe to stare up at where you were suspended in the tank. For the first time in a very long time, Poe feels vulnerable and he hates it. Stepping up to the tank, he places one gloved hand flat against the glass and stares up at you. Alone with you, he takes a steadying breath before speaking.

“If I’d had any idea that you would worm your way under my skin so thoroughly in such a short time, I would have never pursued you. As it is, you’ve managed to successfully crack my shell, sweetness. Don’t you dare die on me now. I’m not finished with you yet.” He swears he sees your hand twitch when he finishes speaking, but when you make no other movements, he steps away from the tank and out of the bay. He heads to his room, determined to wash your blood from his skin. He scrubs harder than necessary, leaving his skin red and raw, and the clothes he was wearing are trashed rather than being sent to be laundered. As soon as he is clean, he returns to the medical bay where he stays and watches over you.

For five days you stay suspended in the bacta tank and Poe rarely leaves your side. He stays like a specter, watching over you and waiting for you to awaken. Kylo and even Hux visit as well, checking in on your status. The medics have done everything they can, and the tank has done it’s work but still you don’t wake. Poe’s frustration shows in the way he paces the room you’re in, the way he snaps at the medics and droids. No one understands why you won’t wake, and Poe hears the medics speculate that perhaps the damage was too great, and they didn’t get to you soon enough. That you simply wouldn’t wake because of the amount of damage you took. Most of the time, these medics leave the room in tears after Poe rips into them. He refuses to give up on you, knowing you’ll pull through despite the odds stacked against you.

Poe is sitting in front of your tank, watching you, when a trooper approaches him and tells him that Hux has requested his presence in the General’s office. The trooper insists it is urgent, so Poe stands with a scowl and sweeps from the room. He paces quickly to Hux’s office, surprised to find both Hux and Kylo inside. The two men give him a confused look when he knocks on the open door, stepping inside.

“Has something changed?” Kylo asks, a hopeful lilt to his voice. At this, Poe shakes his head before focusing on Hux.

“What did you need?” Poe asks, tone clipped and to the point. He feels unease settle in his stomach when Hux’s face contorts in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

“Did you not request to see me? Urgently?” At Poe’s words, the ships alarms suddenly begin to blare. Red lights begin flashing and an announcement comes over the PA system.

“There has been an unauthorized breach in Hangar 4. Red Alert. I repeat, there has been an unauthorized breach in Hangar 4. All units to stations.” The three men exchange shocked glances before racing from the office, heading towards the hangar mentioned. They’re almost there when Poe skids to a stop.

“What are you doing?!” Hux snaps, him and Kylo continuing forward.

“I get wrongly sent to your office and then suddenly the ship is under attack? Don’t you think that’s a little convenient?!” Poe snaps before turning and heading back towards the med bay. He vaguely hears Kylo and Hux curse behind him before they too are following him. As they run, Poe snatches a blaster from a passing trooper, fully expecting trouble once they arrive.

When they reach the med bay, the glass doors are shattered, and they can see medics dead or unconscious on the ground. They sweep the room carefully, Poe and Kylo leading with Hux taking up the rear. They reach the bacta tank room and Poe feels his heart stop at seeing your tank broken open with no sign of you anywhere. He’s about to turn and leave when he hears a man groan. Kylo and him exchange looks before creeping slowly into the room. They approach your tank and are shocked to find General Pryde leaned against the side of it, clutching a wound to his stomach. He’s speaking, but not to them and the men look around. Not seeing anyone, they focus on what Pryde is saying rather than who he is speaking to.

“… would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you. This ship should be mine, not that brats. If you hadn’t found that information on me, Hux would have never gotten this ship. It would be mine to command.” He growls, staring at something in the shadows. Poe, Kylo, and Hux all feel their eyebrows shoot up at the words Pryde is speaking but they don’t have long to contemplate it because you are suddenly stepping out of the shadows, a blaster clutched in your hands and pointed straight at Pryde.

“So, you’re telling me… that you sabotaged my missions… had Captain Dameron captured… had me captured and tortured… all because of the dirt I found on you and presented to Snoke?” Your voice is eerily calm, but your face betrays the anger you feel as you glare at the man at your feet.

“Of course I did, you stupid whore. I deserved to have command of this ship, not that welp. I have the experience and the brilliance needed to properly command. Dameron was just an inconsequential casualty and you… you deserved to be tortured after what you took from me.” Poe snarled at those words, stepping forward with his blaster raised. Both yours and Prydes attention shifted to him and then Kylo and Hux. Pryde’s face paled even further.

“Commander Ren… I had no idea you were here. I-“ Before the man can say anymore, Kylo is reaching out, choking him with the Force.

“You will pay for what you’ve done, Pryde.” Kylo growls, his grip tightening. Pryde gasps, clutching at his neck and trying to breathe in air but he is unsuccessful.

“Stop.” Everyone turns to you at your command. Your eyes are still fixed on Pryde, blaster trained on him as well. Kylo loosens his hold some, enough for Pryde to get some air, but doesn’t release him entirely.

“If anyone gets to kill this bastard, it’s me.” You say, coldly before firing straight into Pryde’s chest. It kills him instantly and he slumps in Kylo’s grip before he’s released and slides to the floor. The four of you stand in silence for a few moments before Poe suddenly drops his blaster, crosses the few feet over to you, and dragging you against him. His arms lock tightly around you and he holds your head to his chest. You also drop your blaster and wind your arms around him, sighing against his chest. You hear Kylo and Hux both shift uncomfortably at the display of affection, but you could not care less. Poe only pulls away far enough so he can press his lips against yours, kissing you deeply. You return his affection easily, but only for a moment before pulling away. Poe doesn’t let it bother him, merely pressing a kiss to your forehead. You hear Hux clear his throat from behind Poe and the two of you separate to see what he wants. Poe keeps a hand on you though, reassuring himself that you’re really awake and standing next to him.

“Was that true?” Hux asks.

“What? I don’t know how much you heard.”

“That you turned in information on Pryde which is why I have command of the Finalizer?”

“Oh, yeah. Don’t get all sappy about it. I would have rather had you as the General than that son of a bitch.” Your words are said nonchalantly but still they have an effect on Hux. He looks grateful and he opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off.

“Don’t even think about it. This changes nothing. You’re still an infuriating bastard and I’m still an annoying bitch. We don’t have to be friends.” But there’s mirth in your gaze and Hux can’t find it him to be insulted. Kylo groans from beside Hux though and the attention shifts to him. He has a look of faux annoyance on his face.

“You mean it’s your fault we have to deal with this insufferable man? The betrayal… my own captain? How could you?” Hux rolls his eyes while you and the other two boys snicker at his expense.

“Alright, alright. Let’s get this mess taken care of. We need to alert the bridge that everything is taken care of.” At Hux’s words, the lot of you sober up.

“Dameron, take her to her room so she can get cleaned up. We’ll handle this mess.” Kylo says. You throw him a grateful look and Poe nods, wrapping an arm around your waist and leading you from the med bay. The walk to your room is done mostly in silence, aside from the alarm that finally shuts off about halfway there. However, instead of going to your room, Poe leads you to his. You can’t help the fond smile that rises when you reach his door and he lets the two of you in quickly. He goes to his dresser and pulls out some clothes for you and hands them to you. You take them, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. He presses one to your temple before ushering you off to use his refresher.

You stand under the spray for longer than strictly necessary, just contemplating everything. You’re tired, despite having been out for some time and the water feels good against your skin. You finally scrub yourself down, ridding yourself of the traces of bacta still on your skin and step out. You dry off quickly and dress, stepping out of the refresher and into Poe’s room to find him sitting on the bed and waiting for you. You approach him and as soon as you’re within reach, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into him, laying the both of you down. No words are spoken, Poe just runs a hand over your hair soothingly. You find yourself drifting off in his arms and hoping that the storm had finally passed.

[mattmurdocksscars]

Miscommunication Ch. 3/?

Alright yall! It’s time for yall to learn just how badass Reader is! Got some more Poe/Reader interaction this chapter as well! I had to look at a few videos to get this right, so hopefully it flows right! I really hope yall enjoy this chapter!!

Pairing: First Order!Poe x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Teen, language and suggestive thoughts

Word Count: 1845

Tag List(Open):  @himbopoes​, @writefightandflightclub​, @mellow-f1​, @imaginecrushes​, @ladyflyer20​, @kiaralein​,, @nacida-en-la-luna​, @morgannope​, @criminal-cookies​, @thegirlwiththebook​, @writingforhoursonend​

You spent the next week compiling every bit of information you could on Captain Dameron. You knew everything from how successful he was on his missions (annoyingly so, of course) to how he never took time off, throwing himself into work. He had aggressively climbed the officer ladder to get to his position of Captain and you were honestly surprised by the fact that he had seemed to stop there. However, looking at how much of his time was spent in his TIE, you began to understand. If he took another promotion, he would be confined to one of the starships and would be unable to fly solo. The Captain seemed to thrive in the cockpit and if he were to be grounded, it would likely ruin him.

You also found more evidence that pointed to the discourse that seemed to exist between Hux and Dameron. Based on comms logs and mission reports, Dameron seemed to hold no respect for Hux and would even occasionally undermine him when he could get away with it. There was certainly no love lost between the two men and while that helped settle your concerns a little, it was not enough to convince you that Dameron was acting solely on his own interest. So, you resigned yourself to having to wait and see. All men showed their cards eventually, it was just a matter of waiting him out.

The night before you were to return to work, Kylo sent you a message saying to meet him in Training Room 4 at 0800. It was a little unusual for him to want to use a public training room, but you brushed it off, knowing he wanted you to be more present around the ship. You woke that morning at 0530, dressed and was in the training room by 0600. You had been out of practice for the week and knew if you wanted to keep up with Kylo, you would need to do some warming up.

You spent an hour and a half going through some basic stretches followed by a round of katas. You didn’t even notice as people began trickling into the room and working on their own regimes. You were just finishing up a kata, when a honey smooth voice called out to you.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” You turned to see Poe standing a few feet away, hands clasped behind his back as usual. It was a little jarring to see him in a pair of sweatpants and a tank instead of his uniform, but it was a good look. You were beginning to think he looked good in anything. His eyes were raking over your form and you watched as he shifted slightly as if uncomfortable, before his eyes settled back on yours. You were clad in a pair of skin-tight leggings and a sports bra and the look in his eyes told you he wasn’t as unaffected as he wanted to act.

“I was cleared by medical yesterday evening. All that’s left is the lovely coloring.” You told him, gesturing to the smattering of yellow-green color on your side. The bacta patches they had given you had certainly sped up the healing process, but you refused to use them as strictly as they wanted. “I should be fully cleared here soon, once Kylo gets here and determines I’m fit for the field.”

Poe raised his eyebrows at that. Kylo Ren was not usually present within the public training rooms, preferring to use his own room instead. He was certainly interested in seeing not only how the others within the room would respond to his presence but also in seeing how you handled yourself.

As if speaking his name summoned him, the doors opened and Kylo strode through. The whole room seemed to stop as everyone watched him approach you and Poe. He was helmetless and dressed similar to Dameron, only choosing a t-shirt instead of a tank. He nodded to you in greeting before turning his gaze on Poe, scrutinizing him. To Poe’s credit, he didn’t flinch or shift under his gaze.

“Captain Dameron.”

“Commander Ren.”

“I’ll need to borrow my Captain. She’s got work to do.”

“Of course, Commander. I was just leaving.” Dameron looked you over once more before slipping away to train elsewhere. You turned your gaze back to Kylo, who was walking over to a weapons rack. He picked up two bo staffs and tossed you one. You caught it easily, twirling it before holding it in a backhanded grip.

“I trust you’ve already warmed up?” He asked as he walked back over to you. He settled into place across from you and you nodded in confirmation to his question. “Good. We’ll go until someone yields. On my mark. Ready? Begin.”

For a moment, the two of you merely stood there. You settled yourself into a defensive position and waited. You knew Kylo would get impatient and strike first, it was one of his weaknesses. A few breaths passed before Kylo suddenly lunged at you, swinging his staff at your face. You quickly brought your own staff up to counter his. Pushing him back and away from you, you settled back into your original stance to wait again. The two of you continued like this for a few more minutes before Kylo grew impatient with your inaction. He came at you with a flurry of movements, forcing you to engage and strike back. The two of you traded blows, each landing hits on the other. Kylo had you beat in sheer strength, but you were smaller and quicker and used that to your advantage. You fell into an easy rhythm of dodge and attack, getting so lost in the fight that you didn’t notice the other occupants of the room stop to watch the two of you.

At one point, the two of you wound up switching staffs. You caught his staff in a low block, before throwing your own staff at him and yanking his from his grip. Caught up in catching your staff, you were able to whirl his staff around and catch him in the chest with it, sending him stumbling back. He came back at you and you stopped him by shoving the end of your staff into his stomach. He tried to move forward to a better stance, so you brought your dominant hand around to the opposite end of your staff and shoved him back again, twisting away from him. He was undeterred and came flying back at you, kicking out. You manage to block the strike but he was able to kick out again, this time knocking the staff from your hands. You’re quick to block with your hands as he begins coming at you even harder.

He makes a sweep for your torso and you dodge by bending backwards. As soon as the staff passes over you, you use your momentum to throw yourself into a back handspring and land a few feet away from him. Kylo settles into a stance to watch you and you find yourself using the moment to strategize. You knew you wouldn’t win this match, Kylo usually beat you, but you had to decide when and how you were going down. Your staff was too far away to reach, and you knew Kylo would intercept you before you could reach it, so you went with the element of surprise. Kylo wouldn’t expect you to come straight at him with a weapon, let alone without one, so you did just that. You sprang forward, throwing a rapid set of punches his way.  You managed to land two solid hits to him before he began to block and push back.

Your undoing was a move you weren’t expecting. Kylo swung for you and you managed to catch his staff before it connected. He dropped the staff as soon as your hands wrapped around it and kicked out at your feet. You hit the ground hard and Kylo took the chance to snatch back up his staff, kneel on your back to keep you down, and pull your dominant arm back and along the staff to effectively immobilize you. The two of you panted harshly and you gave an experimental wiggle to see if you could get free and came up unable to. Kylo knew this and was the first to speak.

“Do you yield?”

“I yield.” Kylo immediately removed his weight from you and helped you to stand up. It was at that moment, that the two of you realized you had gained an audience. The entire training room was watching the two of you with rapt attention, including Poe. You threw a look Kylo’s way, expecting him to be angry at the attention but instead found him watching you. Suddenly, you understood. This hadn’t been just to test that you were field ready, it was another chance to show people what you were capable of. You knew Kylo wanted people to know about you and what better way than to publicly train you.

“You know, you’re going to make the whole ‘espionage’ part of my job difficult if everyone knows me.”

“Perhaps, but at least some foolish officer won’t mistake you for rebel scum again.” At that, you laughed. Picking up your staff, you walked with Kylo over to the weapons rack to put them away. The crowd began to disperse as they realized the two of you were done training and you could hear the murmurs as they talked about the encounter. You placed your staff in its’ place and turned to Kylo.

“So, am I clear for that mission you were talking about.”

“I’d say so. I’ll meet you in your office at 1400. Unfortunately, General Hux will be joining us. It seems he wants to be kept informed on the status.” You frowned at that. Hux was pushing more and more into Kylo’s business and while you tried to stay out of their squabbling, it always left Kylo in a poor mood. Supreme Leader Snoke didn’t care for their squabbling either and tended to not intervene unless they royally messed something up, so it would seem you would be stuck with their bickering.

“I’ll plan accordingly, sir. I’ll see you soon.” You made to follow Kylo out of the room but paused as you felt a pair of eyes on you. Turning, you caught the gaze of Poe and your breath hitched at the look on his face. There was a mixture of respect and arousal in his gaze as he looked you over. He caught your gaze and you watched as he ran his tongue over his lower lip before biting it. Knowing where your gaze was, he mouthed You look good sweetness before smirking. You could feel heat rise to your cheeks but rolled your eyes at him, turning and heading out of the room.

You knew you needed to be certain Dameron’s interests were his own, but damn if that look didn’t make him look like he wanted to devour you whole.