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whorrorgrl · 2 years ago

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Legally Blond is Perfect

Legally Blond is cinematic perfection.

If I sit down and list off movies that I think are all-round perfect, it would be pretty short. Like, 2-3. No matter how many movies I highly rate, there’s always somethin I either thought wasn’t fleshed out enough or shouldn’t have been there in the first place. It’s so hard for a movie to be perfect for me. I’m not picky. I don’t do it on purpose. But 🤷‍♀️.

Legally Blond, however, checks all my boxes.

Starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Mathew Davis, and Jennifer Coolidge, this 2003 comedy follows Elle Woods, a fashion major, who transfers to Harvard Law following a recent break-up. The more and more I watch this movie, the deeper I fall in love with it. It’s so perfectly done, so perfectly filmed, perfectly casted, perfectly everything.

I am going to do what I do best: completely break apart this movie into bits and tiny little pieces.

Astrology?

I’m pretty into Astrology, so rewatching it and hearing that Elle and Bruiser, her tiny dog, are both Gemini vegetarians was a cool moment. But when you really think about Elle’s character (even Bruiser being classified as “friendly” when Vivian Kensington tries to pick him up), it perfectly matches.

Based on the stereotype of Geminis, those who hold placements in the sign are known to be friendly, conversational, and witty. Geminis usually have a variety of interests, hobbies or skills. When I think of them, the word that comes to mind is “multifaceded,” because they truly are. It all of course depends on how it manifests in each individual’s life, but they have a range of random knowledge, thoughts, etc. They can always easily pick up on small details and remember them. These people I always see as great presenters, interviewers, writers, and study partners. Depending on the person, of course.

Elle Woods embodies her Sun sign. She’s very smart and knows even the smallest of details. As a fashion major, she’s able to pick up on a sly sales clerk trying to pass off a last season dress as the recent. When she’s moping in her room, a sorority sister goes to Elle to ask for a homework question, signifying that she’s the go-to for the girls on all things school. She also has the highest GPA in her sorority.

When she assumes joining Harvard Law will prove to Warner Huntington that she’s smart (assuming this will make him take her more seriously as a future wife), she spends the entire movie montage studying to up her LSAT scores. She never had any plans to actually continue. But When Warner still devalued her knowledge, this motivates her more to study, improving her presence as a student in each of her teachers’ classes. Not to mention her humility. “What, like it’s hard?”

She’s easily influenced by other’s opinions of her and can’t think much for herself. I’ll go deeper into it further, but many people have had the power in influencing Elle’s choices and decisions. Whether it results in a counteractive response (fueling those who doubt her to study for Harvard), it almost makes her quit law all together. Gemini being a mute sign, I made the connection.

There’s this bigger-picture mindset I always see in Gemini/Sag axis where they speak generally instead of giving details. As a Sagittarius Mercury myself, I can relate. When Elle finds out that Enrique is gay and rushes into court to tell the news, she just blurts “Hey’s gay! Warner, what type of shoes do I have on?” When he answers, “Uh...black ones?” She whips her head around to Callahan and says, “See?” As if the context of Enrique shading her by the water fountain would just materialize in Callahan’s head. She speaks in ways where she assumes everyone within the room will understand her, despite that most of what she’s saying requires a lot of context. This also could do with her being in a different setting with people who lack the range of her previous surroundings.

Her ability to adapt to new environments (of course with her own flare) and new hobbies is prevalent. She's a fashion major and now a law student in just few months, her quick wits rivaling even Waitlist Warner. When she combined both when it came to Brook’s case, it only showed that her versatility is necessary. Who else in that damn school would’ve known that taking a shower hours after getting a perm would deactivate the ammonium thioglycolate? Certainly not V05, 10-In-One Warner.

Realistic Male-Centeredism

All her life, Elle has been taught to work to be a trophy wife. She is beautiful and in shape. That’s all that matters. Even her parents insinuate that she isn’t “serious” and that law is only for “ugly people.” Elle probably never realized the low bars people set for her until she ventured out of the expectations. While her reasoning for joining Harvard and maintaining her place were fueled by the possibility of winning Warner, she later realizes that she actually likes law - and she’s pretty good at it.

Doesn’t matter why she started, as long as she’s on the right path.

Elle joins Harvard because she assumes that it will change Warner’s mind in choosing her as a future wife. However, when he says she isn’t “smart enough,” despite the fact that they got accepted into the same school and have the same classes, this gives her the similar motivation to continue to study. On a call with her friends, they urge her to get the ring and hurry back home. Harvard was only meant to be temporary. When he continued to still doubt her, the goalpost moves. Getting into Harvard wouldn’t earn her his heart; it was now maintaining it.

Unsurprisingly, she accomplishes that when she begins to study more, much to Vivian and Warner’s surprise. Elle has high hopes for joining Callahan’s internship and expresses this to Warner, who still doubts her. So when she impresses Professor Callahan enough for him to ask if she’s applying for his internship, she replies, “I don’t know.” Warner doesn’t think she’ll do it so she questions herself.

Lastly is when Callahan comes onto her in his office, clearly not seeing her true potential beyond her gorgeous looks. She’s doubtful of her starlight given knowledge and once again allows a man to determine her path. That is until Professor Stromwell, a woman, reminds her of her potential. This is where everything flips. No longer is she guided by the men in her life, nor does she seek their approval. You see this when winning her first case is finally all the proof Warner needs to see Elle as smart and worthy of mooching off of her name. But it’s already too late and we are lucky to witness her reject him.

A small thing I also realize is when Vivian criticizes Callahan using her as his personal assistant and Warner’s laundry incompetencies, Elle says, “You know men are helpless.” She’s almost excusing men’s uselessness and misogyny as a cute little character flaws because at that time stamp she still sees Warner and Callahan in a good light. It makes me think of those TikToks of wives laughing because their husband can’t bring home the right brand of tampons or those dad that don’t know their kids are deathly allergic to penicillin.

It should be shocking considering Elle is so strongly supportive of the women in her life that she, too, is victim of centering Warner. Her relationship with her sorority sisters and how she treats Vivian and the other women at the school who horribly misjudge her would make you assume that Professor Stromwell would’ve been the best guidance she should’ve paid attention to. But even a before-her-time Gemini vegetarian like Elle Woods fall victim to the male gaze. It isn’t in your face or obnoxious like She-Hulk. She realizes that her worth is from within and changes the pattern in prioritizing men’s opinions before her own. I think the first sight of this was when her father discouraged her from going to Harvard and she chose to ignore it anyway. However, I don’t think her parents, especially her dad, are meant to be interpreted deeply. But it’s still there.

It’s always funny that Elle constantly was doubted by men like Warner and Callahan when these men are not qualified. Vivian reveals that Warner was waitlisted until his dad paid his way in; Elle obliterates his argument in class; and he’s simply played by Mathew Davis, so that sucks in its own right. Warner never stood a chance. Secondly, Callahan has all his research done by Emmett, doesn’t have a trustworthy relationship with his clients, and overlook important details that Elle was able to catch. He’s a seasoned lawyer that’s gotten comfortable. Lazy.

Anyway.

The Sisterhood.

I’m so in love with the sisterhood in this movie. That damn sorority would help you hide a body with no weak links waking up in cold sweats. Rumor Willis’s Ellie, clock out.

I see these sorority girls as iron-tight friends that would never break the bonds of sisterhood. They help each other, support each other, and don’t discriminate. But sororities aren’t generally known for this, especially ones predominantly white and blond as Delta Nu (which is weird if you think about it). So when Elle leaves the bubble of sorority row into the more dull, less fashionable world of Harvard Law where plaid sweaters and grey pantsuit are more a la mode, she struggles to find that sisterhood. The girls are less loyal, less warm...less, well, Elle.

The girls lie to you and have you show up to a party as a bunny, don’t invite you to study groups, and are rude to you based off of the fact that you’re blond and wear pink. While her sorority girls would help her study in between breaks of their pilates class, grade her LSAT practice tests, and stay up in the library with you instead of going to a frat party, these Law girls are more exclusive...even if you brought muffins. They treat Elle the way they assume she would them. Despite it, she keeps her head up, never assumes the worst, and takes it all with a grain of salt. People pick at her like easy prey, saying whatever they want to, to her, etc. It never fazes her. It doesn’t waver her confidence nor her kindness.

That’s the thing about Elle. She isn’t nice. She’s kind.

What I loved was how she never told Brook Taylor’s alibi, even if it meant Brook getting off of the murder of her husband. Brook swore her to secrecy, so Elle is a closed book. Period. Figure out another way.

She empowers a once meek, soft-spoken Paulette to get her dog back from her cheating ex-boyfriend and to embrace her sexuality when it came to UPS Guy. She doesn’t hold grudges against Vivian and even create a friendship with her. She connects with the women in the beauty salon. She’s just so damn great.

Consistent Themes

The one thing I hate about movies now is that there are always parts of them that’s not fleshed out enough and sort of just get abandoned. I never leave full with these movies. They make a simple story shitty because it’s a cash grab. Movies like Mean Girls, Legally Blond, and Jennifer’s Body you can tell were thought intensively for more than a minute instead of just going out both ends all watery.

The theme of the movie is judging a book by its cover. Throughout the movie, Elle is judged for being blond. She’s stereotyped as stupid, unserious, and shallow. She’s from a sorority, so people assumed she’s an exlcusive mean girl and treat her as such, especially Vivian. Considering Elle is the ex, Warner probably telling Vivian exaggerated, untrue things about Elle during prep school, and Elle showing up to Professor Stromwell’s class not aware of the summer reads, Elle doesn’t have much going for her in Vivian’s eyes. In a world where what’s in your brain matters more than all else, Elle is an anomaly; proof that there is the option of prioritizing both and either one not meaning the lack of the other. (It reminds me of Booksmart where Annabelle surprises Molly that they’re going to the same school next year. Molly assumed that only prioritizing school instead of a social life was the only option and is shocked that people she thought she were above weren’t peaked). Elle’s humility hides the blood, sweat, and tears she puts into her studies, so Vivian thinks this is a reverse Sharpay Evans/Gabriella Montez thing. It’s not.

However, while Elle is judged for being who she is, she also judges those who are brunette. Aside from her friend Serena, everyone around her is blond, even Warner. So when she meets dark-haired Vivian and new love interest Emmett, it’s a all-around switch-up. Dorky David Kidney even being rejected by those girls is another layer. Warner only proposed to Vivian because of her family, even recycling the same nickname he used for Elle. Everyone is judging someone and treating them according to labels predetermined.

When Elle tells Emmet to have faith in people after he questions the reasoning for Brook not giving an alibi, he follows this new-found ideology through when Elle makes an observation of Enrique being gay. Enrique’s on the stand claiming a three-month affair with Brook, which would convince the jury of Brook having reason to kill her husband. Elle mentions this after he calls her Prada Damen pumps last season, an observation not many straight men would commonly know, but Callahan dismisses it. Emmett asks Elle if she’s sure and trusts her judgement, jumping into the cross examination. Enrique slips up and admits to having a boyfriend and the court is shocked. A new perspective is brought forth. Aristotle was wrong. Passion is necessary in law.

This theme of faith is continued when Brook trusts Elle enough to represent her as a first year law student. Emmett agreeing to supervise her and pushing through the first few minutes of Elle’s awkward cross-examination was beautiful.

While Warner and Callahan try to influence her choices, Emmett allows them to flow. He gives her range to think things through no matter how they come across. He doesn’t question her, nor does he doubt her. She is his equal and he learns from her as much as she learns from him.

Another theme that carries throughout is Vivan’s internalized misogyny. While Elle’s loyalty to women around her is strong, Vivan’s quick-to-judge attitude rivals it. It’s unrealistic to think internalized misogyny would disappear overnight.

Trigger Warning: I will be defending Vivian Kensington. You’ve been warned.

Look at it from Vi’s perspective. She probably comes from a high strung family who prides themselves in competitive environments. It’s the classic Blair vs Serena bit. It’s not hard to see how easy she falls victim to seeing Elle the way she does. Take Elle being Warner’s ex and the first week of school out of the equation. She’s in an environment where people expect the worst in others. Elle had to even convince Emmett, who lived in that environment longer, to have faith, so Vivian assuming that Elle was accepting Callahan’s advances makes sense.

Now put the ex bit and the first week back into the equation. Vivian states that Warner told their prep group a lot about Elle. We already know how he sees her so it’s pretty clear how he portrayed her. But for Vivian to witness Elle be called out by Professor Stromwell for not reading the summer read, you can only assume all the gossip of Elle during that summer was confirmed in Vivian’s mind. Elle is a privileged, pretty girl.

She repaired her relationship with Elle, but she still has that mindset buried somewhere. It came out in the worst situation, but it’s very believable.

Lastly, Elle is very humble. After spending an entire summer studying her ass off, she casually acts as if joining Harvard was something simple and not beating the 5% rate of acceptance. When she wins the case for Brook, she downplays her catching a flaw in Brook’s stepdaughter’s story as something any girl would notice. She can be too humble to where she believes her accomplishments aren’t as impressive as they are, though.

Ahead of Its Time

Sisterhood, denouncing slurs against sexual orientation, putting yourself before men’s perspective...I’m not saying the early 2000′s were void of these themes, but in a general sense, they weren’t as popular. Legally Blond was so ahead of its time and does what shows and movies today handle harshly.

Watching She-Hulk, I realized this more than ever. Aside from the show seeming to not have a specific timeline in the MCU and the episodes not having much content, they don’t call out misogyny in the practice of law the way Legally Blond did (I didn’t even realize the law-relation between the two until I wrote the last sentence). It was cheaply done, vulgar, and inorganic. The men were cartoonishly horrible, conveniently terrible, and it almost came off bully-ish. This is crazy coming from me because I love a good man-hating content but She-Hulk did it in a way that was more whiney than point-driven. They even trivialized Hulk’s entire journey of Bruce’s mental struggles. You can’t tell men to go to therapy and them shame them at the rate they get through it. While I liked the implications of women’s life-time experience in composure being the reason why Jennifer Walters was successful in immersing herself with her hulk, her accomplishing other milestones so easily and fast that took Bruce years to master was just too much. If Thor: Ragnorok didn’t already bury Hulk’s entire characteristic, She-Hulk hit the final nail in the coffin.

MCU having a male-dominant fanbase also doesn’t help. They’ll quickly click off of it. I believe men can still watch movies like Legally Blond, Jennifer’s Body, Gothika, Sucker Punch, Practical Magic, etc. They can learn the lessons that the men in those movies fell short at and broaden their understanding of the society they live in. In She-Hulk, there is no message. There is no reflection. It’s only filled with dogwhistle-like phrases copied from Twitter and pasted into the screenplay to fit the woke trend bulldozing through Hollywood screenwriting rooms.

I mean...a man being brutally murdered by a succubus is more easy to watch than whatever She-Hulk uploads. It sucks.

Legally Blond only seems more perfect when you really think about it. Content today only wish they could handle sensitive topics like this without coming off tacky.

In Conclusion:

All in all, this movie is so delightful. I pop it in every time I want a good back ground noise. There’s always something new to discover, always something to unpack, and it’s such a well-rounded film. Even the extras and minor roles can act their asses off. So beautifully done. I truly miss the 2000′s formatting of movies. I know there are plenty that suck, but more than today’s average that don’t.

If I missed anything, let me know.

BTW, Mattew Davis being exposed as a raging racist only makes you realize another aspect of this movie that just ages like fine wine.

#legally blond #Reese witherspoon #whorrorgrlreviews #whorrorgrl #comedy #romance #pink #law school #2000s movies #2000s #elle woods #bruiser woods #misogyny #feminism

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juiceboxman · 4 years ago

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So I took Siobhan’s advice and listened to the BBC’s radio adaptation of the Lord of the Rings from the 80′s

It’s pretty good, you can listen to it here https://soundcloud.com/inkmore/sets/lord-of-the-rings-radio

I had some issues with it but I liked it for the most part. I’m not a massive LoTR fan, only watched the films so I don’t know much, but here are the thoughts I had.

I once heard someone describe Hobbits and the Shire as “drama free people” after listening to this series, that’s obviously not the case. Hobbits seem to live for the drama, always talking shit behind one anothers back. I think Tolkien was trying to satirise rural or village life in England and I think he did a good job depicting how petty people can be.

Sam is a working class hero and Frodo doesn’t deserve him.

I understand how people can like Sam/Frodo because there is massive gay vibes coming off them. Personally I interpreted it to be unrequited and an example of some class division, with Sam being working class and Frodo being middle class. The amount of dedication and support Sam shows Frodo I don’t think Frodo would show back if the roles were reversed. I feel like its a very one sided relationship with Sam putting in way more effort than Frodo.

Bilbo’s whole thing seems to be that he went on a gap year once that turned out quite bad and now he kinda lives like a hermit.

I don’t know how reliable to the books the Radio series is, but I feel like the movies do more justice to stuff. Like in the Radio drama Gandalf makes his first appearance by just coming through the door and Bilbo is like “ah, Gandalf” and...that’s it. Movie version was better in my opinion.

I think the radio drama does a lot better to explain what the ring of power does than the movies. I always got confused by what the ring does, like in the movies all it seems to do is turn people invisible and make them into heroin addicts. With the radio I kinda understand more about it. Like the ring’s power kinda depends on the wearer, like a Hobbit could simply use it for invisibility and expanding their life force but a King could use it to control the minds of an entire enemy army and a Wizard could do even more. But it’s still vague and I presume Tolkien intended it to be, like it’s just a representation of the concept of power and this world’s equivalent of a deal with the devil. Power or wishes may be commanded but they will ultimately corrupt you.

Time in the books seem wild. Like at one point Gandalf says that Bilbo has gone off and he himself will start researching the ring and then twelve years go by and Frodo has just been fucking about, forgot that the ring even existed and Gandalf comes back and is like “oh yeah, ring is bad”

Also, Frodo is 50 when he leaves the shire???? Jesus

Also, were the Nazgul just running about for 12 years looking for the ring? Like at one point the Nazgul knocked on some Hobbit’s door asking about Frodo and the Hobbit told him to go fuck himself and slammed a door- to a NAZGUL

Aragon’s voice in this radio drama is...way off. Like it sounds like Greg Davies. You don’t really have the soft voice of Viggo Mortinstein but the gruff righteous voice of the Principal from the Inbetweeners

Elrond denying Aragon to marry his daughter until he becomes king of Gondor is like a stern dad refusing you to date his daughter until you get a real job.

Also Aragon gets the reforged sword, like, immediately when they leave Riverdale. Which is a bit weird to me.

It makes sense why Frodo is trusted with the ring. A king couldn’t be trusted because he’d use it for conquest. A Wizard could overthrow Sauron but in doing so would become just as bad so you’re back to square one. With a Hobbit, there is no desire for conquest or any wish for power outside of simply having the ring. Even when Golum had it all he used it for was to hunt fish and extend his life cycle. I’m curious of whether if Sam had carried the ring all the way to Mordor if he could will himself to destroy it or would he have failed like Frodo.

Gimly and Legolas’ friendship is so cute. Like they start off disliking eachother but bond over their prowess in combat and plan out a gap year after the whole fellowship where they see the sights of middle earth. So wholesome

I don’t understand why they didn’t just kill Golum. Like I know he was important to find the way to Mordor and was ultimately necessary to destroy the ring after Frodo failed, but like the idea of “don’t kill him because of pity and he also probably has a part to play” is bullshit to me. Like he’s so gross and troublesome. It’s the same excuse Jedi have with “oh you can’t kill a Sith Lord because striking them down means you need to embrace the dark side” bitch Luke Skywalker round house kicked a guy into a Sarlack Pick- whaddya mean he can’t kill this wrinkly ass Emperor??? Ethical mental gymnastics are mind blowing.

For me the moment that made me really dig the series was when the Fellowship disbanded. Like shit hit the fan and everyone’s forced to do their own shit, really engaging storytelling.

The series is quite short when you consider all the battles are short cutted. Like in the radio drama you’ll hear a series of grunts for 30 seconds and then a song about how bad that battle was. I guess it would take a lot to depict a battle purely by means of audio.

Seriously the series is quite short, like it’s 13 hour long episodes and by episode five I’m like “oh shit we’re starting the second book already? Damn” It felt half the time there was so much stuff cut out I don’t know why

I think the radio drama is best suited for people who have either watched the movies or read the books. Like I don’t think it’s well suited for people who haven’t seen LoTR content before. Like the scene with the Balrog there is no description of what it looks like.

Also, Gandalf fought the Balrog from the deepest dungeons to the tip of the mountain? Damn, Gandalf’s leg day must be intense

I love the introduction of Treebeard and the Ents. Like you get this horrific imagery with warring Orcs and other evil creatures and then turn a hard 180 to these hilarious tree people. I guess that’s why the LoTR is so great. Because you do get those hard, gruesome battles but you also get these lovely peaceful wholesome scenes.

Quick question, how do you meet a guy called Saruman and then be surprised that he’s the bad guy? It’s the same deal with Victor VonDoom.

Also, did Tolkien have to have all the big villains names sound so similar?

Man, Tolkien loves having people end up together. With the Horse Princess who got friendzoned by Aragorn meeting up with that guy from Gondor. You love to see it

So like, was the King of Nazgul just talking shit or can he not be killed by a man? Like could anyone kill him by stabbing him the face or did the Horse Princess just find a loophole?

At one point this woman kinda makes fun of this flower called Kings Seed or some shit and Aragon basically calls her a THOT

Kinda sad the series didn’t have more dragons. Like I would have liked to see a huge black dragon at the final battle at Mordor. But that’s just me, I love me some dragons

Also, the final battle at the gates of Mordor is so endearing. Like they don’t even know if Frodo and Sam are still alive but they go to war anyway because they believe they are and in doing so keep the eye of Sauron off of them. It’s really heart warming

The radio’s version of the destruction of the ring is kinda anticlimactic. Like I said it’s better with the dialogue than it is at the representation of physical actions like combat. Like if you didn’t know what happened at the end of the lord of the rings and you were listening to this you would have no idea that Golum fell into the lava with the ring

I love the owner of the Prancing Pony’s reaction to Aragon becoming King of Gondor. It’s like “hey, remember that guy you saw shit in the woods that one time? Yeah he’s the President”

Also Sam’s Pony lives at the end of it. Love to see it. I feel like Tolkien read his first draft to his kids and they were like “what happened to Sam’s pony?” and he was like “uh, yeah, the pony....the pony lived! yes! the pony found its way back to town” you can tell this story is vibing on a different level than GoT or ACOC

Hobbits returning to the Shire fucking shit up like level 16 PCs returning to the town they started the campaign in

Also, all the Hobbits in the shire have no idea what the fuck went down? Like I understand they live in the middle or nowhere but that’s astounding

It’s so funny what ends up happening to Saruman. Like he goes from being the second in command of the Dark Lord to being a shitty local businessman in a Village in Yorkshire

I can see how people can really get into the LotR. Like a world like GoT is just fucked beyond compare and any happy ending will be bittersweet at most. But here you have an ending where the characters leave the world better than when they found it

Frodo asking Sam to live with him was him totally trying to get with Sam, right? And Sam was like “oh that’s nice Frodo, but I have gf” and Frodo’s like “oh that’s alright, she can move in too!” it’s like watching a man back step his request for love by inviting a family into his home. You missed your shot Frodo! You had a whole year with Sam and you blew it!

Sam ultimately moving on from Frodo with his thicc Hobbit gf is the character development we deserved

That said, in the movies Sam getting a gf was a thing at the end of the third movie- like he’d been so shy before hand but after almost dying he’s like “fuck it, might as well give my shot” but here in radio drama he...had a gf all along? Like we only hear about her in the final episode and he’s like “oh yeah, my gf ain’t too happy. I left her for a year to fuck about with you so now I need to marry her. Woops” very startling

Also love how Tolkien represented PTSD with Frodo. I don’t think works of Fantasy like this before Tolkien really did this stuff justice. That said the ending is a bit weird. Like I understand that the “Undying Lands” are supposed to reflect Tolkien’s belief in Catholicism, Eternal Life and Heaven. But it’s really hard to not interpret the ending as Frodo as struggling to deal with his PTSD so he commits suicide. Because the Undying Lands is a place that Sam cannot follow. It’s heart breaking but that’s the vibe I got off the ending.

So yeah, there’s my thoughts. It’s pretty good but I’d only recommend the series to anyone who’s either seen the movies or read the books. If this was your first introduction to LOTR I don’t know if that would be any good.

Also, while we’re here I recommend Escape from the Bloodkeep from Dimension 20. It’s DnD actual play series that is a slight parody of LOTR. It’s really good.

youtube

#dimension 20 #acoc #escape from the bloodkeep #lord of the rings #lotr

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siriusist · 4 years ago

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I want to get started in on classic films: are there any you personally recommend?

Hey, thanks for asking! <3

So from your ask I took you wanted a recommendation of classic films that may be my personal favourites. So I’m going to go with the ones that I personally are current loving and finding the most ‘rewatchable’/ have saved on my computer, as well as ones that I do think everyone should watch/ are fantastic, but tend to be the ones I don’t reach for as often.

This obviously does not include all the classic films that you can find online in ‘Best of’ Lists (although there obviously is some overlap), but I also tended to do straight up ‘films.’ Classic musicals are another thing entirely, so if you want my suggestions on them, just drop me another line.

My current favourite Classic Hollywood films tend to be along the film noir genre or thrillers/ murder mysteries. In case you didn’t know, film noir is defined as the following:

Film noir (/nwɑːr/; French: [film nwaʁ]) is a cinematic term used primarily to describe stylish Hollywood crime dramas, particularly those that emphasize cynical attitudes and sexual motivations. The 1940s and 1950s are generally regarded as the "classic period" of American film noir. Film noir of this era is associated with a low-key, black-and-white visual style that has roots in German Expressionist cinematography. Many of the prototypical stories and much of the attitude of classic noir derive from the hardboiled school of crime fiction that emerged in the United States during the Great Depression.

This means in terms of ‘horror’ genre movies, I tend to avoid gore/slashers (which were not a thing back in the day, but I felt I needed to emphasise that) I only watch horror movies that don’t rely on cheap jump scares, tricks, and tend to have good psychological motivations, because as Alfred Hitchcock said, the original master of horror, the mind is scarier than anything you can create otherwise.

My Current Favourites:

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir: A widower in the early twentieth century falls in love with the former inhabitant of the house she bought, who happens to be a crotchety old sea captain played by Rex Harrison, king of crotchety old crotchety characters. The film plays out as he tries to emancipate her from her ex-husband’s overbearing family, and get her to ironically accept more of life from beyond the grave. (Literally, I’m not a big romance movie person, but this is the only romance movie I will accept in my life because it involves a ghost and has other elements/ not just is total schmalz).

Alfred Hitchcock’s Rope: Two gays commit a murder and host a dinner party over it. Based on the Leopold and Loeb murders of the 1920s (Look them up if you don’t know about them; absolutely mental), the film is coded as hell (because 1940s), but is also homoerotic as fuck, acknowledged as homoerotic by everyone who worked on it, one of the main actors was gay, and it involves Jimmy Stewart being dropped in as a dinner party guest and eventually trying to solve the crime. It’s probably honestly my favourite Alfred Hitchcock, because it’s a quick watch, it takes place inside the entirely same space the entire movie (but never feels like it), and is the perfect example of a murder mystery).

The Postman Always Rings Twice: The quintessential film noir, featuring Lana Turner’s amazing outfits and honestly, a really well-rounded performance by her. I only saw this recently for the first time, and if you don’t know, Lana Turner was considered the ‘blonde bombshell’ of her time, and not much in the acting department (By word of mouth). So going into the film, I assumed she’d be a terrible actress: but she was honestly really fantastic, created a nuanced performance out of the often one-note femme fetale characters given to women in film noir, and you honestly understand her motivations and character, however flawed. I’m now a fan and am searching out more of her work.

Double Indemnity: Another film noir I saw recently, and fell in love with Barbara Stanwyck’s acting and her in general. In real life, she was an adorable bisexual; in film, and this film in particular, she’s a fantastic actress, and I’m searching out more of her work now, even into her sixties and seventies, where she did some fantastic performances in series on TV into the seventies and eighties (This monologue of her being an old woman and having a crush on a young man is both heartbreaking, pitiful, and understandable, and it’s so well acted. It gives you just a taste of her acting talent, and how hard she worked to create a well-rounded character). This is probably my favourite film noir overall, definitely because of Barbara Stanwyck and her crazy wig. xD

The Twilight Zone [Original TV Show Run]: I know this is a TV show, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it. I love The Twilight Zone, and none of the later revamps have come close to touching it, and the effect it’s had on pop culture cinema. Some of the more ‘creative’ episodes (I.E: The awful ones with cowboys or aliens), I tend to skip, but The Twilight Zone is at its greatest when its creator Rod Serling is able to narrate about problems we all struggle with, and create a twist to really punch home if scenarios were different. Some of my favourites off the top of my head would be ‘Last Stop at Willoughby’ and ‘Nothing in the Dark,’ which are criminally underrated episodes. There’s also a great resource in this AV Club website, which literally reviews each and every plot of the original run and gives it a letter grade. I’m still not fully through the original run (because there’s 150 episodes, yikes), but I’ve watched at least half of the episodes, if not more. Plus it’s where, once you’ve watched more Classic Hollywood material/TV, you’ll begin to recognise a ton of character actors/early up and comers in the episodes, like random!William Shatner (twice), and Baby!Robert Redford (Who’s fucking adorable and I love him so much in his episode).

Twelve Angry Men: Twelve very different men are brought together on a jury to decide the fate of a young vaguely ethnic man. It’s a classic and I swear it should be shown in every school. It’s one of my favourite movies of all time, point stop, and honestly, as a J.D. graduate and someone who just needs to complete their admissions program now to become a lawyer, this is ‘my’ law-based movie (Most people are To Kill a Mockingbird, which by this point, trust me, is cliched to hear other lawyers talk about, even though it’s another fantastic movie you should watch). Even if I can’t turn off my lawyer brain at one point where something happens and I’m like THAT’S A MISTRIAL XD, it’s still one of the best films I’ve ever seen, and I rewatch it at least every two months.

Some of my Other Recommendations (That I don’t rewatch often but still are fantastic):

All About Eve (BETTE DAVIS)

Rebel Without a Cause (JAMES DEAN)

A Streetcar Named Desire (MARLON BRANDO BEFORE HE WAS CRAZY)

On the Waterfront (SEE ABOVE)

Cool Hand Luke (PAUL NEWMAN)

Sunset Boulevard

Psycho (Hitchcock)

Vertigo (Hitchcock)

Leave Her to Heaven (Gene Tierney and her fabulous wardrobe)

Hope that gives you some ideas to start with! If you need any other help, let me know! <3

#classic hollywood #classic film

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studentsofshield · 6 years ago

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A Rambling Chronicle of Marvel’s Western Comics

By Vincent Faust - November 27, 2018

Marvel Comics is the most prolific comic book publisher of the Western genre. Despite their near ubiquity in today’s culture with billion dollar box office receipts, even their diehard fans may not know this part of their past.

I may be missing a few scattered things, but by my count Marvel has published 1,192 issues of Western comics through their history. Marvel had published Western stories from their very beginnings with the Masked Raider in 1939′s Marvel (Mystery) Comics 1-12. Though the genre didn't explode until the late 1940s following the war, while superheroes were declining. Timely (Marvel’s name at the time) launched 7 western titles in 1948.

The "Big Three" of Marvel westerns are Kid Colt Outlaw, Rawhide Kid, and Two-Gun Kid. Each lasting an impressive 229, 151, and 136 issues respectively.

The star artist of Kid Colt was Jack Keller. Who drew most of the character's stories from 1953-1967. An impressive run. Some have argued he has the honor of drawing the most individual stories for one specific Marvel character. Many of these books had 3-5 short stories per issue, so I wouldn't argue against that. If we only count full issue stories, I'm not sure who would take that title. Probably Mark Bagley for Spider-Man, combining his lengthy 1990s run on Amazing and his history making 2000s run with Bendis on Ultimate.

In 1960, right before the Fantastic Four, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby reinvented Rawhide Kid. After a publishing hiatus the title was brought back with issue 17. The character was now Jonathan Clay and his costume changed. Over two and a half years, their run was revered as the cream of the crop in a waning genre as their own superheroes began to explode.

As Kirby was needed more and more on the superhero titles selling like hotcakes, a tiny run by Jack Davis followed. Davis was an EC Comics legend who took a pit stop at Marvel before becoming even more of a legend at Mad Magazine. Unfortunately, practically the only classic Marvel Westerns to be reprinted in collections is this span of Rawhide Kid. With issues 17-35 reprinted across two hardcover Marvel Masterworks.

Here is Stan Lee talking to Jack Davis and fellow EC/Mad/minor Marvel contributor Harvey Kurtzman. For Marvel, the legendary Kurtzman did 150 episodes of a one-page filler strip titled Hey Look! from 1946 to 1949.

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Especially as Marvel was finally able to publish more titles, Stan Lee's efforts were being stretched too thin as well. So, Rawhide Kid was handed over to his younger brother Larry Lieber to write and draw. Which he did for almost a decade, to minor acclaim from genre fans. Sounds very reminiscent of the hidden gem Gary Friedrich/Dick Ayers/John Severin run on Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos.

"I don't remember why I wanted to do it, particularly. I think I wanted a little more freedom. I didn't do enough of the superheroes to know whether I'd like them. What I didn't prefer was the style that was developing. It didn't appeal to me. Maybe there was just too much humor in it, or too much something. I remember, at the time, I wanted to make everything serious. I didn't want to give a light tone to it. When I did Rawhide Kid, I wanted people to cry as if they were watching High Noon or something." - Larry Lieber

Lee and Kirby also reinvented Two-Gun Kid for the early 60s, but didn't stick around as long on that one.

Other artists who made a mark on Marvel's western titles include Fred Kida, a notable Golden Age Japanese-American artist known primarily for Airboy. Also Russ Heath, who passed away only recently, and the frequent collaborators John Severin and Dick Ayers. Most of these artists were also prolific in the war genre. The genre is also to thank for the introduction of Herb Trimpe, who would go on to become the definitive Hulk artist.

The true star of the show though was one Joe Maneely. Who Stan considered his best artist before Jack Kirby returned in 1958. The Philadelphia native was skilled and fast, pumping out tons of westerns as well as the Black Knight and Yellow Claw titles, which retroactively tie his work to Marvel continuity. Unlike Kirby, Keller, and Lieber he was not particularly linked to one western title, but his most consistent would be Ringo Kid.

Meanwhile, outside of the genre one of Stan Lee's other top artists was Matt Baker. Considered to be the first African American professional in the field. Also there are reliable reports from friends and family that Baker may have been a gay man. He was one of the primary innovators of the "good girl" art style on Fox Feature Syndicate’s Phantom Lady and countless romance titles. Another milestone was drawing arguably the first graphic novel - It Rhymes with Lust.

Due to some business factors in and out of publisher Martin Goodman’s control, Marvel (at this point known as Atlas Comics) nearly imploded in 1957. The bullpen was completely disbanded, leaving Stan Lee in an empty office. They went from regularly publishing almost 70 titles to only 16. Many of which were filled with inventory stories and reprints as long as Stan could manage not paying freelancers. This situation was further complicated by their new distributor having way too close of a relationship with market share leader National (now DC Comics).

Joe Maneely stepped in front of a train in 1958 at only the age of 32. It may have been a suicide. Matt Baker died of a heart attack in 1959 at 37. As stated above, Jack Kirby comes back to Marvel right around that time and Steve Ditko was quickly growing as an artist. It's tragic how close these two masters were to being on the ground floor of the Marvel Universe as we know it today. What heroes could Maneely and Baker have drawn or created?

The 1970s sees lots of reprints of classic genre comics. An exception is the original title Gunhawks (though an unrelated The Gunhawk title predated it). Though only lasting seven issues, Gunhawks has an interesting distinction. Originally starring Kid Cassidy and Reno Jones, a good ol’ plantation boy and his buddy slave. Who fought willingly for the Confederacy because some Yankees kidnapped his girlfriend. That makes sense... In the sixth issue, Cassidy is shot and killed. The finale was technically retitled to Reno Jones, Gunhawk. Making that 1973 comic book only the second at Marvel to be named after a Black protagonist, following Luke Cage. Black Panther had ongoing adventures, but had taken over the anthology title Jungle Action and wouldn’t get his own series until later. DC lagged behind Marvel in this regard.

In 1979 the western genre at Marvel was basically declared dead, with Rawhide Kid and Kid Colt finally canceled. The latter after over 30 years of continuous publication. Two Gun Kid had been canceled two years earlier. Though for a few years already, almost all of Marvel's westerns (and war books) had been turned into reprint titles.

Of those aforementioned 1,192 issues, 1,146 of them are from 1979 or earlier. Leaving less than 50 across the last 40 years.

A 1980 tryout issue with a new character (and a Frank Miller cover) goes nowhere.

A 1985 miniseries by genre veterans Trimpe and Severin depicts the Rawhide Kid now as a middle aged man, as the West is in its final days. It is kind of depressing.

Backpedaling a bit. As the Marvel superheroes dominate, the western heroes occasionally make crazy guest appearances through the means of time travel. Most notably the Two-Gun Kid becomes an all-but-official member of the Avengers and a close friend of Hawkeye. He gets tied up with time travel generally for years to follow. Later becoming a She-Hulk supporting character and Avengers Initiative leader circa Civil War

With that cover, let's now take another aside to untangle Ghost Rider. Ghost Rider is not originally a Marvel property. The vigilante was created by Gardner Fox (Justice League of America) and Dick Ayers for Magazine Enterprises in 1949 as a horror themed western character. The feature spent time as a backup in Tim Holt and eventually broke out into its own short lived title.

Magazine Enterprises went kapoof alongside the slump in the industry around the implementation of the Comics Code Authority in 1954. The regulation agency set up by industry leaders to avoid government intrusion following moral panic. The over-cautious guidelines severely neutered the crime and horror genres, while superheroes were already dormant, gutting many publishers. The Ghost Rider trademark expired. Marvel picked it up in 1967 for a series drawn by original creator Dick Ayers. Motivated in equal toxic parts by Martin Goodman's obsession with securing trademarks (practically every character Stan Lee created can be traced to an earlier one) and then rising writer Roy Thomas's history nerd leanings.

Obviously the name would be repurposed for the more recognizable Johnny Blaze in 1972. Marvel retroactively renamed Carter Slade as the Phantom Rider. The modern demonic versions of Ghost Rider do rarely touch on western themes. Johnny spent some time as a nomad and Garth Ennis brought in some western connections to expand the GR lore.

The western genre is basically passed over through the whole 1990s.

In 2000, John Ostrander and Leonardo Manco come around for a miniseries integrating all the Marvel western heroes together. Followed by a 2002 sequel. With revelations and deaths. The kind of lore retconning series that tickles the fancy of comic history nerds like yours truly. Ostrander also did Justice League: Incarnations around this time, tracing through the history of the JLA.

2003 comes around and it all that heavy lifting revitalization goes in the toilet. Ron Zimmerman writes a Marvel Max Rawhide Kid series. Zimmerman is some kind of comedy writer and Howard Stern regular. Well, within comics he wrote this and the god awful Ultimate Adventures - the only wholly original Ultimate Universe book, a Batman and Robin parody that was part of the U-Decide bet with Marville and PAD's Captain Marvel.

Marvel Max was a new imprint established in the early 2000s to break away from the aforementioned Comics Code and tell more daring, mature stories. Occasionally this resulted in gold like Jessica Jones. However, most of the time it was cringe inducing dreck.

So what's so bad about Rawhide Kid Max? He's now gay. Umm...OK, as long as it's handled well, maybe? Nope, constant cringey sexual innuendos which border on the protagonist coming off as a sexual predator. Some idiot gave it a sequel years later too.

Since then, we've gotten a bunch of one-shots in 2006, a weird Andy Diggle miniseries in 2012, and then the surprisingly great Marvel 1872 from Gerry Duggan during the patchwork reality crossover event Secret Wars. Which set up the Red Wolf series which was doomed by bad optics surrounding the writer and Marvel's spaghetti on the wall strategy of the time.

One of those 2006 one-shots ended up being legend Marshall Rogers's final published work. He and longtime collaborator Steve Englehart did it while waiting for DC to greenlight Dark Detective III, the second spiritual sequel to their influential 1970s run on Batman.

Here’s hoping we get to see some of these legendary heroes on the trail once more. At the very least we will get another tiny snippet in 2019 with a Gunhawks one-shot being brought back in celebration of Marvel’s 80th anniversary. Written by crime comics duo David and Maria Lapham.

This concludes a rambling chronicle of Marvel's history with the western genre and considerable tangents touching more generally on the history of Marvel and the comic book industry.

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356mission · 7 years ago

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List of individuals and groups who have participated in an event at 356 Mission

LeanThe New Dreamz (Rose Luardo and Andrew Jeffrey Wright)

Andre Hyland

Whitmer Thomas

Jessica Ciocci

Michael Webster

Asha Schechter

Gabu Heindl & Drehli Robnik (screening)

Rachel Kushner (with parts read by Barry Johnston, Gale Harold, Karen Adelman, Paul Gellman, Stuart Krimko, Stanya Kahn, Alex Israel, Milena Muzquiz)

Mina Stone

Ken Ehrlich & Emily Joyce

Flora Wiegmann with Alexa Wier

James Lee Byars (screening)

Trisha Brown (screening)

Ei Arakawa (screening)

Jennifer Phiffer

Euan MacDonald and Henri Lucas

Fundación Alumnos47

ForYourArt

Derek Boshier

Alex Kitnick

Cherry Pop

De Porres

Aaron Dilloway

Jason Lescalleet

John Wiese

Final Party (Barry Johnston)

Crazy Band

Aram Moshayedi

Bruce Hainley

Gary Dauphin

Kathryn Garcia

Leland de la Durantaye

Sohrab Mohebbi

Tala Madani

Tiffany Malakooti

Negar Azimi

Barbara T. Smith

LeRoy Stevens

Joe Sola and Michael Webster

Math Bass and Lauren Davis Fisher

Angel Diez Alvarez (screening)

Hedi El Kholti

K8 Hardy

Anna Sew Hoy

L.A. Fog

Trinie Dalton

Rita Gonzalez

Alex Klein

Mark Owens

Tanya Rubbak

AL Steiner

C.R.A.S.H.

Lao

Mexican Jihad

Zak-Matic

Laura Poitras (screening)

Parker Higgins

Domenick Ammirati

John Seal

John Tain

Bruce Hainley

Lisa Lapinski

Kate Stewart

Sarah Lehrer-Graiwer

Ian Svenonius

Entrance Band

Allison Wolfe

Geneva Jacuzzi

Chain & the Gang

Shivas

Hunx

Jimi Hey

Tim Lokiec

Scott & Tyson Reeder

Total Freedom

Prince William

Kingdom

SFV Acid

Jesse Fleming

William Leavitt

Lucas Blalock

Oliver Payne

Meredith Monk

Jessica Espeleta

Rollo Jackson (screening)

Jack Smith (screening)

Noura Wedell

Sylvère Lotringer

Jesse Benson

Zoe Crosher

Alex Cecchetti

Patricia Fernandez

Jeff Khonsary

Ben Lord

Shana Lutker

Joseph Mosconi

Suzy Newbury

Scott Oshima

Kim Schoen

Clarissa Tossin

Mark Verabioff

Brica Wilcox

Michael Clark

Ben Brunnemer

Ted Byrnes / Corey Fogel

Kirsty Bell

Johnston Marklee

Emily Sundblad & Matt Sweeney

Kevin Salatino

Wooster Group (screening)

Shannon Ebner

East of Borneo

Sue Tompkins

Alexis Taylor

Leslie Buchbinder (screening)

Odwalla88

Dean Spunt

Bebe Whypz

Saman Moghadam (screening)

J Cush

Hive Dwellers

Bouquet

Dream Boys

Jen Smith

Thee Oh Sees

Jack Name

Alex Waterman and Will Holder

Jonathan Horowitz

Ali Subotnick

Brian Calvin

Dean Wareham

Gracie DeVito

Indah Datau

Jake DeVito

Sara Gomez

Luke Harris

Sarah Johnson

Julia Leonard

Jillian Risigari-Gai

Joseph Tran

George Kuchar (screening)

Andrew Lampert

Reach LA

Oscar Tuazon

Black Dice

Danny Perez

Avey Tare

Shinzen Young

Jesse Fleming and Lewis Pesacov

Mecca Vazie Andrews

Mira Billotte

Julian Ceccaldi

Oldest (Brooks Headley & Mick Barr)

DJ Andy Coronado

François Ceysson

Amanda Ross-Ho

Raphael Rubinstein

Wallace Whitney

Bradford Nordeen

Chris Kraus

Samuel Dunscombe & Curt Miller

Jay Chung

Lev Kalman & Whitney Horn (screening)

Maricón Collective

The Shhh

Alice Bag

Martin Sorrondeguy

Sex Stains

Kevin Hegge (screening)

Rhonda Lieberman

Lisa Anne Auerbach

David Benjamin Sherry

Eric Wesley

Tamara Shopsin, Jason Fulford, and Brooks Headley

Deborah Hay

Becky Edmunds (screening)

Kath Bloom

Erin Durant

Ben Vida

Charles Atlas

Laurie Weeks

Kerry Tribe

Renée Green

Fred Moten

The Office of Culture and Design / Hardworking Goodlooking

YUK, MNDSGN, and AHNUU

PATAO

Michael Biel

Mark Von Schlegell

Graham Lambkin

Lex Brown

Jibade-Khalil Huffman

Dan Levenson

Sarah Mattes

Carmen Winant

Gloria Sutton

John Musilli (screening)

Pieter Schoolwerth and Alexandra Lerman (screening)

Nate Young

Safe Crackers

Frances Stark

Liliana Porter (screening)

Adam Linder

Corazon del Sol

Gary Cannone

Ben Caldwell

Jacqueline Frazier

Jan-Christopher Horak

Haile Gerima (screening)

Barbara McCullough (screening)

Jon Pestoni

Andrew Cannon

David Fenster

Dick Pics

Seth Bogart

Lonnie Holley

Rudy Garcia

Dynasty Handbag

Christine Stormberg

Anthony Valdez

Kate Mosher Hall

JJ Stratford

Diana Adzhaketov

DJs Cole MGN and Nite Jewel

Casey Jane Ellison

Gary Indiana + Walter Steding

Kate Durbin

Michael Silverblatt

Hamza Walker

Wynne Greenwood

Robert Morris

Maggie Lee (screening)

Brendan Fowler

Susan Cianciolo

Aaron Rose

John Boskovich (screening)

Michel Auder (screening)

Lauren Campedelli, Leo Marks, and Jan Munroe

Klang Association feat. Anna Homler (Breadwoman), Jorge Martin, Jeff Schwartz

sodapop

Hoseh

Miles Cooper Seaton & Heather McIntosh

Drip City

Geologist

Deaken

Brian Degraw

$3.33

Angela Seo

George Jensen

Carole Kim & Jesse Gilbert & Friends

Aledandra Pelly

dublab

Mariko Munro

Emily Jane Rosen

Lana Rosen

Max Syron

Mark Morrisroe (screening)

Ramsey McPhillips

Stuart Comer

Jordan Wolfson

Kiva Motnyk

Samara Golden

Sam Ashley

John Krausbauer

Kate Valk

Elizabeth LeCompte

Lewis Klahr

Barbara Kasten

Martine Syms

Margo Victor

Studioo Manueel Raaeder

Mary Farley

Wayne Koestenbaum

Jibz Cameron

Sean Daly

Kendra Sullivan

Trinh T. Minh-ha

Johanna Breiding + Jennifer Moon

Tisa Bryant

Cog•nate Collective (Misael G Diaz + Amy Y Sanchez-Arteaga)

Bridget Cooks

Michelle Dizon

Anne Ellegood

Shoghig Halajian

Katherine Hubbard

Simon Leung

Amanda McGough + Tyler Matthew Oyer

Dylan Mira

Litia Perta

Eden’s Herbals

Matt Connors

Flat Worms

Susan

Lucky Dragons

Dos Mega

David Korty

Monica Majoli

Forrest Nash

Sophie von Olfers

Rudolf Eb.er

dave phillips

Joke Lanz

The Dog Star Orchestra

The Edge of Forever (Elizabeth Cline + Lewis Pesacov)

Lutz Bacher (screening)

Agnes Martin (screening)

Marisa Takal

Moyra Davey (screening)

Suzanna Zak

Wu Tsang, boychild and Patrick Belaga

Snake Jé

VIP

Fictitious Business DBA The Geminis

DJ M.Suarez

Asmara

Weirdo Dave

Mission Chinese

Veronica Gonzalez Peña

Thomas Bayrle

Bernhard Schreiner

Bob Nickas

The Cactus Store / Christian Herman Cummings

Atelier E.B

Iman Issa

Diana Nawi

Sqirl

Downtown Women’s Center

Earthjustice

Juvenile Justice Clinic at Loyola Law School

Loyola Immigrant Justice Clinic

N.eed O.rganize W.ork

Planned Parenthood

SoCal 350 Climate Action

St. Athanasius

WriteGirl

Sean/Milan

John Santos

Thomas Davis

Twisted Mindz

Adrienne Adams

Evan Kent

Jasmine McCloud

Gia Banks

Ace Farren Ford

Dennis Mehaffey

Fredrik Nilsen

Paul McCarthy

Joe Potts

Rick Potts

Tom Recchion

Vetza

Oliver Hall

Rigo 23

Gil Kenan & Vice Cooler (screening)

Cassie Griffin

Clara Cakes

Clay Tatum + Whitmer Thomas (Power Violence)

DJ AshTreJinkins

DJs Protectme

Crush

Sara Knox Hunter

Dodie Bellamy

Miranda July

Alexander Keefe

Thomas Keenan

Kevin Killian

Silke Otto-Knapp

Calypso Jete, Essence Jete Monroe, Virginia X, Leandra Rose, Naomi Befierce, Tori Perfection, Foxie Adjuis

Brontez Purnell

Kate Wolf

Adam Soch (screening)

Dar A Luz

ADSL Camels

Cold Beat

Tropic Green

No Sesso

Michelle Carrillo

Ruth Root

Timothy Ochoa

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nonsense-and-shenanigans · 8 years ago

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(First, go to this post if you don’t know what my #Before30BucketList is. I’ll also be going back to that original post and noting each goal accomplished if you want to keep up but miss out on some of my posts.)

This one was a really, really big deal.

I’ve spent my whole life going to concerts and rallys and shows and plays and movies and museums and whatever else people get excited about. But I’ve also spent my whole life loving books more than anything. And, until now, had never been to a single book signing or met a prominent author. I had heard musicians explain and sing songs that touched my heart, and I had watched my feelings played out on stage, I had seen art that spoke to me up close, but I had never heard an author discuss or read the words that lived in my soul.

So when I saw one of my favorite authors announce her book tour this year, I jumped on it. Then I decided to look up who else might be reading/signing close to me, and I found him.

The man who is made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

(If you don’t know that quote we can’t be friends. Just kidding, keep reading, and maybe you’ll learn it.)

As a toddler, my favorite book was Goodnight Moon (Margaret Wise Brown). As I grew, obviously that changed. I don’t remember them all, but as an adolescent You Don’t Know Me (David Klass) really spoke to me. Of course all of the Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling) books were in there, and as a teen I fell in love with Ellen Hopkins (Crank, among others). Once I started to fully come into my right-of-passage reading, I, like so many others, became glued to Catcher In The Rye (J.D. Salinger). As I grew into adulthood I gravitated toward the outcast novels — those written about drugs and insanity and homosexuality, with snark and exaggerated opinions — people who experienced struggles like mine with a crude mindset. Candy (Luke Davies) remains an all-time favorite, but Running With Scissors (Augusten Burroughs) imprinted itself in my veins and became a part of me.

My personal copy. I had the original cover design but someone must have borrowed it and never given it back. I keep a log of who borrows what book now. Because I’m crazy.

(p.s. – If you’ve seen any of these movies but haven’t read the books, please don’t judge a book by its movie adaptation. Some of the best books I’ve read turned into some of the worst movies I’ve seen.)

Sometimes I feel silly, telling people my favorite book is his most popular, because mainstream isn’t cool or something. But then I tell myself to shut up and that I’m not cool anyway, so admitting to loving something that’s fucking amazing isn’t going to change my seat in the lunchroom.

I love everything Burroughs writes. Even if I don’t agree with it, I find myself accepting him wholly and begging for more. His memoirs put me in times and places I’d never otherwise be, but also bring a sense of home when his intense, blunt words intermingle with my delicate, rambunctious, off-kilter brain. His fiction is hilarious and riveting. Even in times (and they are rare) when I find myself not wanting to read certain stories or opinions, I later find that I needed to read them. I don’t really believe much in role models, because no one’s exactly like you, but he comes damn close because I relate so much to him, yet sometimes not at all.

Anyway, enough gushing. I stalked his Facebook and Googled my ass off and learned he would be in New Jersey on Tuesday, March 28th. So I put it on my calendar and my dad’s calendar and my husband’s calendar and my mom’s calendar and my sister-in-law’s calendar. I usually like to have a partner in crime (or two) when I have incredible experiences so my mom and sister-in-law were planning to come with me, and we had it all set. Except sometimes I suck, so while I knew there was a $17 charge for the NJ book signing (it also came with a paperback copy of his latest book, Lust & Wonder, which I wanted because I only have the hard copy), I somehow put it out of my mind until the weekend before. And of course, when I went to purchase the tickets they were sold out.

Me being me, however, I also knew pretty much every other date and venue on the book tour, and it turned out he would be in NYC that Monday, March 27th. Now you may think that New York is much farther away from me than a location in my home state, but I’m at the very bottom and NJ, PA, and NY are oddly set up so they were both actually the same distance. I was just worried that, since Burroughs had spent so much of his life in New York, and it was a free event, and it was freakin’ New York City, that it would be mobbed and I would miss out. I also found out that literally no one I knew was available to go with me.

So I got a babysitter and every book he’s ever written and my “I can’t live without books” book tote and my Jenny Lawson You Are Here coloring-but-not-really book and my gel pens and I set off for the big city, all by my lonesome.

I arrived four hours early. When I went to Jenny Lawson’s book signing I got there an hour early and all the seats were already taken so I had to sit on the floor (but in the front, so there, seat-takers) so naturally I assumed I wouldn’t be the first to arrive. The Barnes & Noble customer service representative looked at me like I was on fire and breathing spiders when I told her I was there for Augusten Burroughs. Also like she pitied me, which didn’t make me mad but rather humored because I wasn’t missing anything by waiting — I had my books (and a whole book store) to keep me company, while she would miss out on meeting a legend because she had to sit behind a desk. Who’s the winner, really?

This is my “I’m crazy and arrive 4 hours early” face.

While I was waiting I knocked out some aspects of my Traveling Alone bucket list item and felt very peaceful and content. It’s not such a bad thing having to wait for four hours exploring book stores and Manhattan and meeting new people and simply doing whatever I wanted. But I was a little neurotic and kept venturing back to Barnes & Noble to make sure some mad rush of fans didn’t show up and kick me out of my first-in-line spot.

They didn’t. I was the first one at the door, and the first one in the door, and the first one to pick my seat, which was obviously front and center. The rest of the crowd still thought I was crazy when they learned that I had arrived so early, but hey, when you’re passionate about something you fight for it. I fought time.

This is how front and center I was. There was maybe a foot between the front of my chair and the stage.

I was so giddy and so nervous and didn’t know what to do with my hands or my three bags or my phone or my breathing. I don’t know why I get nervous — I preach all day every day that politicians and police and celebrities and the like are all people — humans like you and me with flaws and fabulosities (I just made that word up), but when I get around authors I freeze and become a blubbering idiot.

We all got seated and excited and I kept looking around to see what other kinds of degenerates Burroughs attracted, and I was surprised to find a wide array of people — a businessman, a woman and her son who was actually named Augusten, teachers, young adults, older adults, gay men, straight men, the rebels and the righteous. We all came together over the love of writing or reading, specifically by one man who did not fit into all of our labels.

I was actually surprised to learn that Burroughs was more “stereotypically gay” than I had pictured him. I don’t know if that makes me a good person for assuming he was just a human, or a bad person for noticing “gay traits”, or maybe I was good turned bad or maybe I was just another person trying to scrub out the brainwashing done by growing up in American Millennium society. But I did learn a bit about myself, and him, and I felt like I got to know him much better which calmed me down a lot because usually I have a tendency to build people up into unattainable perfection in my head and am nearly always let down by the real thing.

He started out by reading a section from Lust & Wonder, and hearing how he narrated it in his head while writing was an experience I can’t even explain. We read things according to our own biases, and it’s often thrilling to learn how words on paper were meant to be read — with the proper exaggerations and pauses and snark.

This clip is long, but if you’re anything like me, you’ll be able to watch it a million times. Otherwise, skip around, watch as much or as little as you’d like.

Then the room was open to ask questions. I’ve learned, in the whole two book signings/readings I’ve been to, that I need to not ask the first question, but learn to read the author and prepare myself for their ending so I can shoot up my hand at exactly the right time — not too soon as to avoid being rude, but not too late as to avoid be overlooked. I think I’ve perfected this art. (This is something that should be taught. People teach everything nowadays, maybe I’ll make my own “When to raise your hand at exactly the right moment to be noticed without being pushy” class.)

So I asked my question, which I didn’t even know needed to be asked until it came out, and his response was perfect and detailed and meaningful.

(I have this horrible habit of constantly messing with my nose and I never noticed how gross it looks until now and I’m horrified that I did it not only in front of, but to one of my swoon-worthy celebrities.)

After the questions from all types of audience members, we lined up to get our books signed. (I told people how excited I was and they agreed but then I noted that this was better than meeting Brad Pitt and they just gave me weird looks and stopped talking to me.) I was the only one with all nine of his books so I was worried he wouldn’t want to sign them all, or there wouldn’t be enough time, or his handler (manager was the word I was looking for but handler came out and now I think it’s fitting) would push some of my books to the side. But none of that happened. Burroughs was thrilled to take as much time as needed to sign everyone’s books the way they wanted, and talk to them about whatever nonsense came out of their mouths (I also told him the Brad Pitt thing and he said “No, it’s really not”, which is the same thing Jenny Lawson said so now my mission is to make writers realize how wonderful and talented and essential they are), and to take pictures with anyone who asked.

When I got my picture taken with Jenny Lawson I looked awkward and starstruck standing behind her, trying not to touch her but be close enough to look like she actually cares about me, all while hiding a horrible breakout I had on my chest. So this time I embarrassingly but wonderfully asked to take a selfie, and Burroughs was not only more than happy to partake but put his arm around me, got as close as possible, and let me take two to make sure at least one was acceptable.

This is the good one where I look like a normal person taking a picture with her friend.

This is the funny one where I’m like “Holy fuck guys LOOK WHO’S TOUCHING ME”, But it’s still adorable, right?

The selfie thing totally worked out, by the way, because I’ve been breaking out like a 14-year-old lately and Burroughs mentioned that a facial he’d had a few days prior made him break out, but I’ve tweaked the light intake settings on my front camera to make us look flawless.

So in the end I got to experience a sincere reading, engage in extensive Q&A discussion, get every single book personally signed, take an everlasting selfie with my closest-thing-to-a-role-model, and partake in more personal conversation in which he told me he would remember my blog and check it out (Yes, I almost fainted) (Yes I’m also aware it might not happen). (If you’re reading this — I am crazy but I swear it’s usually in a good, quirky way.)

Then, high on life and experience and thinking magical thoughts and happiness, I went on my next #Before30BucketList adventure (coming soon).

Companions: Books, Augusten Burroughs, other fans

Cost Book for Son: $5 (I always bring him home a book when I go to a book signing) (Travel costs included in “Travel Alone” instead)

Goal # 3: Meet Favorite Author Accomplished: 3-27-2017

Bucket List Total: $129

#Before30BucketList: Meet Favorite Author (First, go to this post if you don’t know what my #Before30BucketList is. I’ll also be going back to that original post and noting each goal accomplished if you want to keep up but miss out on some of my posts.)

#Before30BucketList #augusten burroughs #authors #Book Reading #Book Signing #Book Tour #bucket list #Favorite Author #NYC #Role Model #Running With Scissors

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