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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years ago

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Be Alright (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: You go on tour with Luke and the boys for the first time, but things don’t go as planned as you try to fit in.

Warnings: Angst with Fluff. Anxiety, panic attacks, low self esteem. Language. Hostility. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 6.9 k

Author’s Note: This fic takes place after the pandemic. It deals with anxiety and panic attacks, but please remember that the symptoms as well as what the person experiences it’s always different, this is just how I see and experience these cases. Please, if you want to learn more about them get informed by a reliable source. Remember that Reblogs, Comments, Likes and Feedback are much appreciated and you don’t know how much it helps me! ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🌻🦋✨

My materialist // wanna be part of my taglist?

Picture taken from Pinterest

@theshyspy : (...) So I was wondering if you could write something with Luke or cal (whoever feels most natural?) where the reader just gets really anxious and he takes care of her and calms her down? maybe making sure she eats and/ or drinks enough, that she gets some rest, perhaps he sings for her? Idk just some fluff🤷🏼‍♀️ (It’s totally ok if you don’t want to, or don’t feel comfortable writing it !! I know it can be triggering for some people so just leave it if it bothers you in any way!!��🏼‍♀️💕)

The feeling of an ice-cold touch shook you out of your dreamless sleep. You nearly jumped out of your seat before remembering where you were and what you were doing.

The light came through the small window, illuminating your seats and the small aisle that separated you from your friends. The air conditioner was turned off and you made a mental note to thank Luke later, he knew how cold you get on these travels.

Speaking of “Why are your hands so damn cold?!” You scolded your boyfriend as you rub your eyes, trying to wake up and steady your heartbeat from the scare you just got.

Luke just pressed his lips in a thin line, not wanting to laugh at your sudden reaction but also not to smile like an idiot due to your sleepy state. Even after a 15-hour flight you still looked cute as hell in his eyes.

“Sorry, love,” He said with a smile once you looked at him “I was having a drink, and then came time to wake you up. I didn’t notice my hands were cold”

You murmured some gibberish close to an ‘okay’ and yawned “How long was I out?”

Luke cringed “20 minutes”

“What?!”

It was no surprise, you could never sleep well in places that were not a proper bed. You didn’t want to think about how it would be like to sleep in a bunk next to your six-foot-four Australian boyfriend.

“I thought I slept longer” You pouted “Although it didn’t feel like much”

“Another bad dream?” He asked, placing his head on your shoulder as he intertwined his fingers with yours, slowly playing with them.

“A lack thereof, actually,” You said, yawning again “But don’t worry, I’ll sleep when we get to the hotel”

Luke smiled and brought your hands to his lips, softly placing a kiss on your knuckles as you cuddled next to him.

Your heart was beating loud and you hoped he wouldn’t notice, or if he did then he did not say anything and you were grateful. It was stressful enough to travel on tour for the first time and to know that you might bring him down with your anxious overthinking was not doing great with you.

Luckily, your mind grew quiet as Calum popped his head from the seat in front of you.

“Excited for your first tour?” He asked with a grin. He looked brand new, and as you looked around you realized they all do. For a moment there you had to remind yourself that this is what they do for a living.

“Mmh hmm” You hummed, head still placed over Luke’s while you played with his hair “Kinda nervous, though” You admitted.

“Why?” This time it was Ashton the one who asked, popping his head from the seats next to yours as he joined the conversation “It’s going to be fun! Like a big road trip” He chuckled.

“Yeah but-” Your voice was cut out by the pilot who announced over the speakers your arrival at the airport.

You thought about sharing your fears with the boys, given that this was your first time flying across the world with them you didn’t exactly know what to expect and you were scared to find that out in the worst situations. But then, how could they know? After all, how much pressure could they have when they pretty much secured the love of everyone? You, however, were just the girlfriend and it almost felt like you have to earn that place on tour.

The fans will be looking at them but criticizing you. It’s not like it would be your first time dealing with it since you went public with your relationship, God knows it’s not easy dealing with that But it won’t be just them this time, there’s also the paparazzi, the crew, the boys themselves even if they don’t notice; they are all expecting you to be ready and up for it, perfect all the time. Not to mention the stress of traveling and the schedules, the jet lag and the-

Once again your thoughts were put on pause before you could finish overthinking them as you felt Luke shake next to you. You met his gaze but he was looking to the side, trying hard to stiffen his laughter as Ashton dropped an ice cube into Michael's back under his shirt, waking him up with a jump and a mix of curses.

You shook your head and laughed along with them. You should be thankful for having them, after all, they are your friends and they could help you manage all of those pits of anxiety that started to grow. Anything could happen on this tour and, at least you know that you won’t be bored.

Luke helped you with your carry-out and let you walk in front of him, all while placing his hands on the sides of your waist and walking -or actually more like waddling along with you. You giggled as he placed his head on top of yours, making it difficult to walk for the both of you but he wasn’t going to let go. That’s one of the things you love about him; he is never afraid to show his affection and be close to you, almost in a protective manner. You feel safe with him and you know the feeling is mutual.

You laughed with the rest of the boys as you made your way to claim your luggage, joking around and teasing each other much to the annoyance of the other passengers. You felt how Luke’s chest rumbled with laughter, and in the few quiet moments, you got while waiting for your bags he managed to hold you closer and press little kisses around your forehead and cheeks, making you giggle in his tight embrace. You almost forgot how tired you were from the flight.

Almost. But your body had a different plan.

As your bags were taking their sweet time, you could hear the distant voices of the boys drifting away from you. Slowly, you began to drift away too, your eyelids becoming heavy as you struggled to stay up. Soon enough, the notices became a light buzzing sound inside your head.

“Y/N?” Luke asked as he felt you become heavier on his grip “Baby?” He looked down at your face and saw you fight to get your eyes open and failed to do so as they kept shutting without your permission.

He cringed as he saw your tired face, knowing that he was once again tasked with the job of waking you up. If it were up to him, he would’ve carried you in his arms all the way to the van just for you to get some sleep. But it was common for them for fans to welcome them in the airport accompanied by some paparazzi who tried to get a bad shot out of them and, despite his wishes for you to be completely rested and healthy, he needed to wake you up.

“Y/N, are you alright, love?” He asked whispering in your ear, rubbing his hands up and down your arms hoping that in that way he could somehow share some of his energy with you.

You quickly came back to your senses once you felt Luke’s arms leave your waist and hold you by your shoulders and elbows. A red flush covered your face as you realized where you were standing -and almost falling, asleep.

“Y-yeah,” You said, standing up straight as you pull away from his hold, somehow trying to prove your point “I’m just-“

“Tired. Yeah, it’s okay” Luke reassured you as he came closer and wrapped you in his arms by the waist “I was just like you when I experienced my first jet lag. It will go away”

You scoffed “Yeah? In how long?”

“In like four months when we get home” He teased, immediately bursting into laughter when he saw you glare at him.

You slightly punched his chest, mocking anger. But soon enough you found yourself laughing along “I think I just need to eat something”

Luke stopped laughing, replacing his smile with a concerned gaze “Didn’t you eat on the plane?”

“I couldn’t. I tried to eat while you were asleep, but my stomach just rejected the food so I chose to wait until we were on land”

Luke shook his head and was about to say something when Calum interrupted him to give you both your bags.

“Those were the last ones,” He said “We need to get going”

Luke nodded as he watched him walk away, turning to you once he was out of sight.

You could feel his worried stare, but you just smiled at him as you placed your hand on his cheek “Don’t worry love. I can buy something from here and then eat some real food at the hotel if that would make your worries go away”

He just sighed and nodded. You smiled reassuringly at him and brought him closer to peck his lips “Love you”

“Love you, too,” He said with a love fool grin “Ready to start the tour?” He asked excitedly.

You nodded enthusiastically as you grabbed his hand and started walking along with him towards the gates, feeling ready to face up anything.

Well, you weren’t ready to face up to what ensued.

As soon as those gates opened you were bombarded with flashes of cameras and screams from thousands of people.

Fans were gathered outside the airport gates, waiting for their favorite band to arrive. Of course, this led to the paparazzi being there as well, waiting to get an inside scoop of the boys’ first arrival on their world tour after the pandemic.

There were too many people for you to be able to see more than three meters in front of you. All of them were shouting Luke’s name as he tried to make his way out of there and lead you to safety.

You lifted your gaze and saw how he was smiling at the fans, waving with his free hand as his grip on your hand became tighter. Strangers were approaching the both of you very quickly, pushing their way to the front as they asked and demanded a picture of an autograph.

Your personal space was becoming smaller and smaller as they pushed through you, trying to separate you from your boyfriend’s grip. They bumped your shoulder and kicked your sides with elbows and frantic arms. You felt your voice getting drowned out as you called for Luke, hoping that he could hear you over the commotion and come help you out.

It all happened so fast. Luke let go of your hand by accident for just one second as he tried to look back at you. His heart shattered as he struggled to find your eyes in the crowd of pleas and flashing cameras “Y/N?!” He called, trying to appear calm in front of those strangers, but on the inside he was desperate, kicking himself over and over for ever letting go of your hand.

And then, he heard it “Luke!”

Your eyes were wide and filled with tears as people pushed through you to get to him. His eyes filled with regret as he sucked on a breath and walked towards you, easily making his way back as all of the people who were standing there stepped aside to let him through. No one pushed him, no one yelled at him for stepping into their place. No one dared to disrespect him as they disrespected you.

In a matter of seconds, Luke was standing in front of you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him. You felt like you could breathe again.

“You okay?” He asked, mumbling as he kissed your head. You heard the faintest “aww” coming from the fans witnessing this little gesture and confusing with something cute instead of what it was: he was shielding you from them, protecting you while comforting you the best he could. Yet, all you could hear was Luke’s beating heart as you hid your face in his chest.

“Let’s get out of here,” Luke said, tensing his whole body as he pulled you to the side, not letting go of his grip to your waist as you walked rapidly towards the exit.

You both ignored the calls and flashed from your surroundings. You could feel your breathing becoming heavier as you tried to keep up with his steps, not really relaxing until you saw the van’s door opening and Calum making space for the both of you.

You jumped inside the car and Luke quickly followed, closing the door and letting out a breath he was holding.

“So…” Ashton said, breaking the silence after they drove away “That was fun. Nothing like a little chaos to start the tour”

For the first time in your life, you wanted to punch his face. Your heart was still beating loudly inside your chest and they were all so calm. It truly seemed like they didn’t care that you just went through one of the scariest experiences of your life.

Yeah, you know you might be exaggerating. But it’s your first flight with the boys, first time in a foreign country, first time with a multitude of fans and photographers where they all pushed you to get to your boyfriend. And they were all fine? Like it wasn’t a big deal? And they say it was fun?

The chattering continued, all three of them talking about the fans they saw and how they reacted to them. Joking around and teasing each other for various reasons. No one noticed how your hands were shaking or how you didn’t say a word since you got up in the car.

You tried to steady your breath and to hide your hands somewhere until they were cool. You still feel a sting where one girl elbowed you, knowing it might leave a bruise. You tried to close your eyes and think about nice things to get you off your mind for a while, but all you could see was how Luke drifted away from you, going farther and farther as you lost sight of him; and no matter how hard you yelled his name, your voice was drowned and lost among all the others.

The tears started to pick up in your eyes and you held them back as hard as you could. You needed to be strong, this is just the first stop of the tour and you needed to toughen up if you want to keep up. You just hoped you could do it before anyone noticed it.

Luke was sitting beside you, not participating in the conversation of his bandmates, but rather he was looking at you and how your leg bounced up and down in a rapid motion.

He knew your mind must be going ten miles per hour at this moment. You weren’t used to this whole lifestyle and for that to be your first experience must be nerve-wracking. He wished he could just erase all those bad feelings and bring you the comfort you deserve.

“Hey,” He finally said, softly enough for you to hear as he leaned closer to you. Your eyes quickly snapped in his direction, finding some kind of peace in his baby blue eyes “Are you okay?”

He knew the answer was no, but he also knew you would never admit that, so it was no surprise when you smiled at him and nodded. Only this time the smile didn’t reach your eyes like they always do.

“You know just… a bit tired, that’s all,” You said, not wanting to worry him. But it was a little bit late for that and you noticed that the instant he furrowed his brows and gave you the ‘I know you’re lying’ look.

“Are you sure? Because that out there was pretty crazy and-“

“I’m fine, Luke” You reassured him, scooting closer to him and leaning against his frame. He immediately rounded his arm around your shoulder and started drawing circles on your skin with his thumb “I don’t really want to talk about it right now. I just need you close for a while, is that okay?”

Luke sighed and held you tighter “Yeah, of course, love. Whatever you need. You should try to get some sleep, I’m sorry we couldn’t buy you anything to eat back in the airport”

You look around you. All the boys were singing and joking around, not paying attention to you and Luke; making it difficult for you to just drift back to sleep.

“No, don’t worry. I’m okay. I’ll eat and sleep when we get to the hotel”

You watched the scenery pass by as the car drove you to your destination. You tried to focus on the conversations going around you, but you were too distracted by the beauty of it all.

It amazed you how after such a scary experience could come such comfort; you were surrounded by your best friends and your lover, experiencing new things and memories you knew you needed to treasure forever.

From time to time you could feel Luke staring at you, almost like he wanted to make sure you were okay and you would reassure him with soft smiles and little pecks on the cheeks as the other guys reminisced about their previous times abroad.

Suddenly, the car came to a stop and you found yourselves parked in a huge parking lot. You looked at Luke with a confused expression and he did the same. You didn’t know where you were.

“Uh, why are we stopping?” He asked as Calum and Ashton opened their doors and stepped out of the van.

“Because we are here?” Michael asked, not getting his friend’s confusion.

“This is the hotel?” You asked.

“This is the venue…” Michael said, pulling a lever so he could push Calum’s seat out of the way and step outside “We are not going to the hotel till tonight”

“What?!” Luke half asked, half yelled.

“Yeah, dude. We’re behind schedule so we need to do a quick soundcheck and then hop in the car and go do a couple of interviews in radio stations… did you not read the email?”

Luke facepalmed himself “No…” He lamented as he rubbed his face with the palm of his hand, then he looked at you with apologetic eyes “Oh my god, Y/N. I’m so sorry, love”

“It’s okay, Luke” It was not okay, you really wanted to take a nap and a shower before the show. But you couldn’t have avoided this at any cost and it wasn’t his fault at all, so there was no need to bring him down because of this.

“No! Of course, it’s not okay. You need to rest and eat a proper meal. This is it fair to you and I’m so sorry”

You could tell that he was kicking himself inside his head and you hated to see him all worked up and anxious. It broke your heart to see him so frustrated with himself.

Your palms cupped his face and made him look at you “Luke, baby. It’s fine, I promise. It will be fun! Plus, I can always nap on the couch” But he didn’t look conceived at all “I’ll be fine”

He sighed “Promise you will eat something there? And drink some water?”

You nodded with a smile “I promise. Now go! You have a soundcheck to kill” You winked at him and pecked his lips before jumping out of the van.

“What would I do without you?”

After the quick soundcheck, the boys changed clothes and got ready for an afternoon filled with interviews and quick appearances. It was going to be a wild ride, so you opted out of staying in the venue until they got back.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Luke asked for the tenth time.

“Of course she will!” Intervened Ashton “She’s Y/N/N, she can take care of herself”

You rolled your eyes at him and stared back at your boyfriend “I’ll be fine, love. I’ll just stay right here and maybe I’ll take a nap”

“And you know where the catering room is?”

You certainly didn’t, but he didn’t need to know that right now. You would manage well enough.

“Yes, dad” You teased

“Y/N!” Luke mocked a shocked expression “Not in front of the boys!”

You scoffed and lightly pushed him in the chest “You pig! Not everything has to be dirty!”

“You started it!”

“Go!” You laughed, kissing him one last time “Give your fans some content”

You saw the four of them walk through the door and you let out an exhausted breath. This is the first time you allowed yourself to relax since you boarded the plane almost 24 hours ago and you were beyond tired at this point.

How did they do it? Fly across the world and still look like superstars, what kind of deal did they make, and with whom?

You looked around the green room, your eyes landing on your reflection. You physically cringed at the image in front of you; dark heavy bags rested under your eyes and your hair, although pulled back, seemed oily and tangled in knots; your clothes had wrinkles in them and you seriously regretted sending your luggage directly to the hotel, leaving you with this shirt, a hoodie, and your black jeans.

A sigh escaped your lips as you tried to think of nice things; things that would keep your mind out of overthinking every single detail that has gone wrong since the minute you left home. How were you supposed to prove that you belong on the tour if you couldn’t even handle the first day? You needed to gain your energy back before the guys came back, and what better medicine than a little nap?

You moved Ashton’s heavy bag from one corner of the couch and laid on your back, but the awaited relief never came. You tossed and turned in different positions, hissing every time the warm leather glued itself to your skin only for it to be peeled off with every movement.

The sounds from outside of the room grew louder as the crew hurried to put everything in its place on time for the show. People were running in and outside the green room, not paying attention to you laying on the couch trying to find an ounce of sleep as they focused on their tasks.

You don’t know how long it’s been and, honestly, you’re afraid to ask. It was clear that you were not going to get any sleep here, not while everyone’s acting frantic because of a scheduling mishap and not while your mind is still preoccupied trying to keep up instead of relaxing as Luke told you to do.

You tried one last time to get at least a five-minute nap, but it was almost impossible. You opened your eyes with a groan and got up, so frustrated that you didn’t even feel the burn on your skin when you separated yourself from the uncomfortable couch.

The second your feet touched the ground and you lifted yourself on your feet, everything started to spin. You felt how your blood seemed to have disappeared from your body, leaving only a carcass that couldn’t stand for itself, making you fall on your ass back into the couch.

You felt nauseous, but the growling in your stomach reminded you that you haven’t eaten in all day. You had to eat something before you passed out, but the mere thought of eating made you feel even dizzier if that was possible.

You counted to ten, ignoring the way your head pounded with loud warnings and stood up. It took you a few seconds to find your balance again, but once you started walking you felt like you couldn’t stop.

You got out of the room, not really knowing where the catering was but you were determined to get there. You couldn’t let Luke and the rest see you like that, so weak and pathetic. It’s just day one and you are already passing out? How stupid is that!

The loud bangs in your head increased with every step you took, soon becoming voices that screamed inside your mind, drowning every ounce of clarity you might have; turning to the right and then to the left, then to the end of the hallway and back to the right. Did you even know where you were going?

Did you even know why you were here?

It was bound to happen, sooner or later, that Luke would ask you to accompany him on tour. Bet he is regretting that decision now. You tried, you really tried to be the supporting girlfriend, but how could you be of any support when you were the one who needed it? He didn’t come here to be your nanny and yet all he’s done is worry about you! You should be able to take care of yourself, yet you can’t even do that for him.

What a terrible girlfriend you were. He will surely break up with you and send you back home on the next flight. He didn’t need this kind of energy, this cloud of darkness you were becoming, ready to drown out his light with your problems. If only you could do better for him. For Luke.

Luke, the simple thought of him brought you to the brink of tears. You loved him so much, so much that it hurt to love him yet at the same time it was the best comfort in the world just to be standing by his side. You wanted to be by his side and never let go, but you were pushing away from him. Your mind and meaningless needs were separating you from him, telling you that he deserves someone better, more equipped to handle the lifestyle you weren’t ready for.

He is the brightest star in the universe and you are just a firefly, trying hard to be something you’d never be and everyone can see it. The fans see it, the media sees it and even your friends will someday. They will realize that you were nothing more than a girl who just hoped she could be enough but ended up becoming one more burden to carry with.

You couldn’t survive out here, not right now, and not without Luke. You are falling and you feel like if you stay you might drown him with you. You were disappointing him right now, pacing around the-

Where the fuck were you?

The voice inside your head died down as you didn’t recognize the place where you were standing.

You were supposed to be on your way to catering, and you were… but you didn’t know where it was and now you don’t know where you are.

Great.

The screams of the fans reverberated through the walls of the narrow hallway, you only now realize that the doors must be open and the show is about to start. You brought a hand to your back pocket, thinking about calling Luke and telling him your situation and asking him how to get to where they were. But your pockets were flat and your phone was nowhere to be seen, you must’ve left it in the greenroom.

“Fuck!” You yelled, voice hoarse from not having drunk anything since this morning. You looked to your left and there was just a blank wall staring back at you with no way out. You thought about going back, but you weren’t paying attention to where you were heading, so you risked the fact of getting more lost before someone could find you.

Fuck it.

You turned around and started walking, faster and faster. You were almost jogging through the deserted hallways trying to find your way back. You were panicking with every turn, every curve. To the right, then left, then a left, and a right again. You could hear the faintest riff of a guitar, so you speed up your pace. Your exhaustion had nothing compared to the fear in the pit of your stomach, you needed to get back. You needed to be there for Luke, to find your way back.

The desperation you held inside made you ignore the tears that were spilling out of your eyes without permission. You didn’t want to be alone anymore in a place you don’t know. You are sure your mind is playing tricks on you, making the hallways longer and the seconds everlasting, constantly repeating in your head how you were nothing more than a little lost girl who was playing something she shouldn’t. Something she wouldn’t ever be.

People passed you as you turned around corners, your heart beating loud as you recognized some faces from the crew, getting closer and closer to where you were supposed to be.

And finally, you arrived.

You let out a breath, you didn’t know if it was from relief or just a way to drown out the sob that was threatening to come out. You made a move to open the door but you noticed your hands were shaking. A cold feeling ran through your body, making you shiver as you wiped your sweaty palms on the front of your jeans. You were so close but why did you feel so far away? Drifting and drifting further and further….

What was happening?

“Y/N?”

You heard your name being called by a familiar voice. You lifted your head and saw Michael standing at the door of the green room, his eyes scanning you carefully. You swore you could see a hint of fear in them. He quickly moved out of the way, opening the door wider so you could step in.

You lifted your gaze, your teary eyes meeting Luke’s as he stood in the middle of the room, pacing back and forward with his phone in his hand, gripping it so tightly you thought it might crack.

“There you are!” He said, pressing a button on his screen. He was smiling, relief visible on his features as his eyes took you in “I’ve been looking for you, the opening band already started playing and- Y/N?”

Suddenly, everything stopped. Luke’s eyes denoted fear as he saw you collapse to your knees the moment you stepped into the room. He saw everything happen in slow motion: the way you wrapped your arms around your stomach; the shaking of your entire frame as you let out a heavy breath mixed with a sob; and the tears in your eyes as you tried to make sense of what was happening to you.

He acted fast. In one swift move, he was kneeling in front of you, taking you in his arms as he pulled you closer to his chest “She’s having a panic attack!” He said, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, but none of his friends moved as they were still shocked by the image of you falling into the ground.

“Michael!” He called, remembering that people act better in an emergency if given direct orders “Go find a doctor. Ashton, bring her something to eat. And Calum, find water and soda. She’s dehydrated and needs some sugar”

All three of them didn’t think twice before jumping out of their seats and running through the halls to find those things for you. But you couldn't hear any of that.

“I’m sorry,” You cried, over and over again “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Shh, love” Luke cooed, lifting you and sitting back down on the couch, placing you on his lap as he rocked you back and forwards “It’s okay love. Nothing to be sorry for, I’m here. I’m here”

You kept crying into his chest, struggling to breathe as every sob seemed to tear your throat in two. You knew Luke was touching you, but you couldn’t feel his hands anywhere as you shook through your cries.

“Baby- Y/N, listen to me. Okay?” He said with a calming voice, completely contrasting how he was feeling inside “Listen to my voice, baby. Breathe with me, okay? One,” He inhaled deeply, his finger tracing a line up your back so you could follow him “Two” He exhaled, bringing his finger down “Good, do that again, please? One, two”

He was trying so hard not to panic along with you. Seeing you so frail in his arms made his heart break into a million pieces. He didn’t know what was going on in your mind or why or what you were apologizing for. All he knows is that he would do anything not to hear your broken cries again, so desperate and hopeless. He would do anything to make sure you are alright and safe.

You imitated Luke’s breathing pattern as close as you could. Breathing in and out every time he asked until you could feel his finger running up and down your spine, his touch finally bringing some comfort to your body and mind as they recognized him. They recognized home.

Your cries died down the moment Michael stepped through the door accompanied by a nurse, Ashton, and Calum who all brought some type of food and drink to lay down on the table.

Luke made some space so the nurse could sit down next to you, but he never once let go of you or stopped moving his finger on your back. He needed you to know that he was still here and he was not going anywhere.

“She seems good,” The nurse said after quickly giving you a check-up “It was just a panic attack. You did well in calming her down” He said to Luke, giving him a pat on the back “I’m gonna leave here some pills for her to take once she eats and drinks something, these will help with the body ache and headache she will feel later and also will help her sleep”

The four men thanked the nurse as Michael closed the door again. All eyes were fixed on you as you rested your head on Luke’s shoulder, eyes closed as your breathing became even and lighter again.

“Is that-? Is that a half-eaten burger?” Calum asked, pointing to the table filled with foods and drinks, and breaking the silence that had set upon them.

“I panicked!” Ashton answered.

“Could you guys give us a moment, please?” Luke asked, eyes never leaving your face as he held you closer. His friends nodded and walked out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

“I’m sorry, bub,” You said, voice broken and soft.

You slowly opened your eyes and suddenly felt like crying again when you met Luke’s gaze. Surprised at the fact that he didn’t seem angry; all you could see in his eyes was a relief.

“Why are you sorry, love?” He asked, voice as soft as yours as he caressed your cheeks with the back of his free hand “You have nothing to apologize for. These things happen and we can’t really avoid them”

“No,” You said, pushing away from him as you separated from his lap and went to sit on the spot next to him.

Luke’s heart broke at your actions, but it completely shattered when he saw the tears picking up in your eyes again.

“I’m sorry for ruining everything” Your voice broke as you started talking “I’m sorry for being one more burden in this tour that hasn’t even started yet. Look at me! Not even a day in and I’m already falling apart! This is not what you expected of me, Luke and don’t try to deny it. I’ve disappointed you, the band, myself-”

“You did not do such a thing” He tried to say, but you weren’t listening.

“Maybe I’m not meant for this” Your words took his breath right out of his mouth, he didn’t like where this conversation was going “Maybe I’m better off at home. At least there I’m not embarrassing myself in airports or with your fans or with your bandmates and crew- I want to be someone you would be proud of but all I do is overthink every little thing that I forget the rest. I tried so hard to keep up, to prove to you and the others and even myself that I could belong here on tour; that I could live this life with ease as you all do and I just keep failing everyone. I love you, Luke. But I can’t stand the thought of slowing you or pulling you down with me, and you don’t deserve to be tied up with some mess like me-”

Your words were cut off by Luke’s lips clashing with yours. It took you a minute to respond and kiss him back, letting all your worries slip away for only one minute. Only one minute where you could pretend that everything was alright.

Luke pulled away first, placing his forehead against yours “You uplift me, Y/N”

“What?”

He cupped your cheeks, making you look at him as he spoke with such care and love.

“You could never bring me down, you are the one keeping me above the water, my love. I deserve to be with you as much as you deserve to be right here with us”

“Luke-”

“It’s my fault,” He said with a sad voice, you opened your mouth to say something but he beat you to it “Don’t try to deny it, Y/N. It’s true. I should’ve prepared you more for what was coming instead of throwing you into the lion's den without a single warning. I knew from the moment I saw your face in the crowd back at the airport that I had failed you, not the other way around. But you stayed, you pulled through and told me that it was okay when it clearly wasn’t. Y/N, you are stronger than any of us and much more caring and loving… I’m so proud of you and that I get to call you to mine that sometimes I can’t even believe it”

He carefully wiped a tear from your cheek, his heart fluttering with joy at seeing you smile back at him “I love you. And if you say that you are not ready for this, then I will book you a flight tonight. I don’t want to see you in pain, my love, even if you try to hide it. I couldn’t stand the thought of being the one who breaks you” He took a moment, thinking over his words “But if you decide to stay. I promise you I will make every single minute of it worth it. I’ll protect you better. I’ll do my best to take care of you the same way you take care of me. You’re my angel, Y/N. And I need you close”

Tears were falling down your eyes again as you pulled him closer into a hug. Luke quickly swung your legs over his lap and held you as tight as he could, almost fearing that you would slip off his embrace if he ever let you go.

You could hear him mumbling something as he rocked the two of you back and forwards again, this time to comfort you both. You pulled your head slightly from his chest so you could hear him better, he was singing the words from “Still”, your favorite Niall Horan’s song.

”Oh, we'll be alright

Oh, it'll be alright”

You always loved when he sang to you, always bringing you the sense of peace you so much needed.

But as you cuddled closer you noticed that not only was he singing, but you could also hear the guitar, the melody, the crowd…

Luke noticed your confusion and chuckled “I asked the opener to cover this song for us; for you. Wanted to surprise you on your first day”

You swore your smile couldn’t get bigger if you tried. Your eyes filled with tears as you chuckled “Well,” You said, sniffing as you knocked your forehead to his “I can’t wait to see what other surprises you got for the rest of the tour”

Luke’s eyes sparkled with the happiness of a little boy on Christmas day “You’re staying?”

You nodded “As long as you want me to”

“Forever, then” He smiled before connecting your lips with his once again. Letting go of all your worries, for all you could feel was love.

The concert was going great. You were convinced this was their best show up to date, but you were saying that since the tour began two months ago.

Luke stayed true to his promise of making everyday worth it. Although you knew that every day that you woke up next to him, whether it was in a bunk or a plane or a hotel bed, that it was worth more than enough. You were home, wherever you went, as long as you had him.

You smiled, laughed, and danced along with the songs on your side of the stage, looking proudly at your boyfriend who lived to do what he loved. But your favorite moment of the night was this; seconds before he started their next song, he would look for your eyes backstage and once he’s found you, he would smile at you and say.

“This is ‘Lover of mine’, everyone. Sing with your heart”

Tags : @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils

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bucky-barnes-lover · 1 year ago

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Kinktober day 8: Dirty Talk

Moodboard. Luke Hemmings

I feel like Luke would just have such a dirty mouth idk.

#luke hemmings 5sos #luke hemming imagines #luke 5sos #luke hemmings #luke hemmings x wife!reader smut #luke hemmings 5seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer #5sos #moodboard #kinktober day 8

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calumance · 4 years ago

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hey!! can u pls write a luke smut? I don’t really have a request... just luke smut lol. Maybe softdom Luke x reader

Welp, I am completely not sorry for this. 🙊🙊🙊

According to the clock you had been asleep for four hours, but that didn’t seem possible since it only felt like five minutes. Luke’s side of the bed was still empty and you could hear his guitar from down the hall. You used your right hand to push yourself up into a sitting position and listened carefully. The strumming abruptly stopped and then there was silence. The strumming started again and abruptly stopped. He had been having a hard time with writers block over the past few days, and it seemed the trend was continuing.

After you threw the blanket off you and stood up, you grabbed Luke’s hoodie that was crumpled up at the end of the bed. You pulled it over your head and down over your barely clothed body and then made your way through the partially opened door. When you got to the end of the hallway, you slowed your pace and placed your hands on the wall to steady yourself. Once you felt steady, you peaked around the corner to look at him.

His curly blonde hair was pulled back into a tiny, low pony tail; a lock of hair hanging in front of his face. Before strumming at the guitar in his lap, he tucked the lock of hair behind his ear. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and his lips moved as he silently mouthed the words in his head. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, so the scruff on his cheeks and chin was starting to look a bit thicker than normal. All he was wearing was an old white t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. It looked as if he had started to go to bed, but inspiration struck. He looked unbelievably handsome and it made your entire body heat up.

You watched him for a bit longer before you finally appeared in front of him. He looked up from his guitar and smiled at you, stopping his strumming. “Hi, darling, did I wake you up?” He looked back at the frets on his guitar to place his fingers and then looked back at you, still waiting for a response.

You shook your head and made your way closer to him. “No, I wasn’t sleeping very well.” You stopped a few steps in front of him and ran your finger down the neck of his guitar. “Did you finally break your writers block?” You asked as you kept your eyes locked on his guitar.

Luke shook his head and put his guitar pick in between his lips as he moved the guitar off to the side. He grabbed the pick from his lips and tossed it onto the notepad on the table. “I thought I had, but, alas! I still have writers block.” He sat back with a huff and then a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. You smirked back at him and played with the hem of the hoodie covering your body. Luke sat up and reached forward and wrapped his hands around your hips. He pulled you closer, causing you to place your knees on either side of his legs and sit back into his lap. “You look absolutely delectable in my hoodie.” He growled as he ran his hands up your sides.

You raised your eyebrows and placed your hands on his chest. “Delectable? That’s quite the word, you’re sure you have writers block?” You sarcastically smirked at him as you leaned down, slowly inching your lips closer to his. Your lips connected with his as he moved his hands from your side down to your thighs.

His hand were warm against your bare skin, but caused shivers as they slowly ran upward giving your exposed bottom a firm squeeze. Your tongue worked against his as he quickly ran his hand up and under the hoodie you were wearing. He quickly pulled away from your lips to pull the hoodie off. The garment barely made a noise as it hit the floor. You started to go back towards his lips but he leaned away and shook his head. “I just want to look at you for a second.” You had been naked in front of Luke a million times now, but having him just look at you made you feel more vulnerable than ever. “you’re so fucking beautiful.” He said before wrapping his hand around the back of your head and pulling you in for a heated and needy kiss.

You moaned against his lips and rolled your hips forward in hopes of causing any type of friction between you and him. His hands ran down your neck and to your chest, giving your breasts each a loving amount of attention. You rolled your hips back and forward again, pulling your lips off his long enough to let out a guttural moan. After hearing you, he groaned and connected his lips to your neck, continued to roll his hands around your chest in circles. As his teeth dug into the skin right above your collar bone, you threw your head back in pure bliss. He’d barely done anything to you, and you were starting to unravel.

Without another word, he gripped his hands onto the back of your thighs and picked you up, quickly carrying you down the hall and back into the bedroom. He kicked the door shut and gently lowered you down onto the bed. He slowly crawled over you and pressed his lips back onto yours. Your fingers trailed up his stomach and chest, then quickly slipping his t-shirt over his head. As you tossed his shirt off to the side, he reached around you and quickly unclipped your bra. Not wanting to waste any more time, you slipped the straps down your arms and tossed the bra to the side. Luke smiled against your lips and hooked his fingers under the hem of your lacy underwear. You nibbled at his lip as he quickly yanked them off and tossed them to the side.

Luke quickly discarded of his boxers and lined himself up, “ready?” He asked in a hushed tone. You nodded and he slowly pushed himself into you. He swallowed causing his Adam’s apple to bob up and down as he eyes rolled into the back of his head. You arched your back in ecstasy and he pulled out and pushed back in with a soft grunt. Your throat worked as you tried to moan but the pleasure caught the moan in your throat. It wasn’t until his thrusts became faster that the moan finally escaped. “Fuck, you sound so good.” He whispered just before nibbling on the skin of your neck.

“Luke,” you whispered, trying to say more, but the feeling of him inside and on top of you took over and you lost the ability to speak. His hands wandered over your body, eventually landing back on your chest, slowly rolling each breast in a circle. He pushed harder into you causing you to dig your finger nails into his back, which earned you a hiss and a groan.

Without another word, Luke wrapped his arms around you and rolled so you were sitting on top of him. He grabbed your hips as you rolled your hips forward and back, feeling every inch of him slide in and out of you. His finger dug into your skin as he arched his back and let out a quiet moan, followed by a soft “fuck.” You steadied yourself by placing your hands on the headboard and picked up the pace you were rolling your hips. Luke’s mouth fell open as he let out a load groan and placed his hands on your chests.

As you rolled your hips forward, you could feel him brushing against the perfect spot. Your stomach tightened and so did your core, “I don’t know if I can hold on much longer,” you breathed out as you rolled your hips back again.

“Keep going, I’m close too.” He threw his head back and groaned. You dropped one hand from the headboard and place it on his chest. Your mouth falling open and you climbed closer to the edge. Luke let our one final “fuck” before you felt him come undone beneath you, pushing you over the edge. Your entire body filled with pure bliss and pleasure as your head became dizzy and you dropped your other hand onto his chest for support.

Once your mind cleared and your breath slowed, you rolled off him and onto your back. You draped your arm over your stomach, and placed the other one on your forehead. You looked over at him and watched him catch his breath, swallowing to wet his throat. “That probably didn’t help with your writers block, did it?”

Luke kept his eyes shut as a smile stretched across his face. He opened them once he turned his head and looked at you, “Actually, it did.” He said sternly before sitting up and pulling his boxers back on. He headed out the bedroom door and you laid there for a second. You smiled at the first strum and rolled onto your side, the sound of his guitar slowly lulling you to sleep.

************

Tag list: @mantlereid @notinthesameguey @viiirg0 @wheniminouterspace @thinkofmehlgh @another-lonely-heart@limer-encia @itsmytimetoodream @babyoria

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gh0stofy0u · 6 years ago

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I love my dads

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bonziorfonzi · 6 years ago

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I wanna hear this live so bad but fuck it's so good Calum owns Babylon Ashton and Moving Along yes please Valentine Ghost of You it's beautiful I'm Lie to Me's bitch and that's okay

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prettyyyboyluke · 7 years ago

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Locker Room

~ (don’t worry if you don’t get swim context it’s v confusing)

300 swim

200 pull no paddles

100 kick

6 x 50’s @ :45

10 x 25 @ :15

5 x 100 @ 1:45

4 x 100 @ 1:35

3 x 100 @ 1:25

2 x 100 @ 1:15

1 start from the blocks race pace

———

500 breathing every 3

2 x 200 @ 2:25

150 cool down

today our set was a latter, and everyone hates it. we haven’t had a pool since monday and we finally found one, and today our coach is hitting it hard with our sets. we were on our 100 from the blocks and there was nothing more i’d love to do than just drown. i knew i should’ve made a bullshit excuse to skip practice for the holidays.

as soon as coach blew that whistle i was racing my best to try to get to the 500 sooner than later. i sprinted my last 50, finishing first thank god. “good y/n, 1:07:03! best time,” coach called out. my chest was rising as i caught my breath to prepare for this 500.

once i was ready i was off to my death. all i was thinking was how much i wanted to see luke. i haven’t seen him in a week since we had a huge invite in Chicago and he wasn’t able to come because of the album and other band priorities. time flew because i was on my last 100. i was practically sprinting to get it over with. once i hit the wall, i knew i could make this last chunk of the set.

“good practice tonight guys! i’ll see you wednesday, merry christmas!” our coach called before leaving. i took off my cap, letting my hair fall into the chlorine infested water behind me. i packed up my equipment before hopping out of the pool. i stood for a minute realizing how many yards we just did. “y/n you coming?” chloe called, heading to the locker rooms. “i’ll be there in a sec!” i yelled back. i grabbed my equipment bag before grabbing a towel. i felt a pair of hands on me and i quickly turned around.

“luke!” i was shocked and hugged him. “hi pretty girl,” he chuckled hugging me tightly. “i thought you were still busy, i was gonna come by tonight,” i smiled happy to see him. “i wanted to surprise you,” he smirked. i pulled him down for a kiss, “definitely a surprise.”

“ew you taste like chlorine!” luke laughed pulling away. “i did just have practice,” i said motioning to the vicinity we were in. “mmm i missed not have my biggest fan cheer for me at our invite,” i pouted, running hands through his hair. “i know baby, i’ll be at the next one. ash and i just wanted to finish this one song we couldn’t figure out.” luke explained. i know how much pressure they have on them. everywhere they go people are asking how their album is going, fans are getting impatient, everything was crazy.

“okay, let me go rinse off and i’m all yours,” i smiled grabbing my bag. “i bet no one is in the locker rooms sweetheart.” luke said. this was probably true, i’m always the last one out, it became a routine ever since i was in high school with my best friend. we would take the longest showers while gossiping about whatever the latest drama was. “only one way to find out,” i winked and headed right to the locker room.

“hello?” i called out, no answer. i stepped in peaking around, seeing everyone left. i motioned for luke to come in. i set my bag on my bench and grabbed a towel. “welcome to my hell away from home,” i said putting my arms up like i was cheering. “oh c’mon it’s not that bad, i’ve seen you race.” luke said, unamused by my joke. “you try waking up at 5:30 and practicing then having class and coming back to this,” i challenged crossing my arms. “watch the attitude little girl,” luke said sternly. “sorry sir,” i submitted.

i headed to the familiar shower i saw every morning and evening. i turned the water to hot, letting it trickle down my body as i sighed letting all the stress leave my body. “sometimes when i’m alone, i imagine you sitting right there, guiding me to touch myself just like you would. edging me until i’m begging you to come over here and take care of me.” i said raising an eyebrow to luke. luke stood, removing his shirt letting it fall to the floor. he began to undo his jeans slowly, taunting me. i followed his every movement, my eyes not leaving his body. as soon as he stripped down, i reached for him. “ah ah, not so fast. your suit needs to come off,” he tisked.

i can tell you i slipped right out of the suit like a glove. “much better,” luke smirked. he pulled me into him, his clear hard on resting on the insides of my thighs. luke grabbed the small bottle of body wash i had. “hold out your hands.” he said holding the bottle above me. i reached forward, palms open as he squeezed a decent glob into my hands.

“wash me.” he breathed out, setting the bottle down. luke was so open to the opportunity, i couldn’t help but feel nerves pulsing through my veins. i lathered the soap in my hands and pressed them to luke’s chest. i made sure to cover every inch on his upper extremities before making my way down. i glided my hands gently over the tops of his thighs, covering him with soap, before dropping down onto my knees to finish the rest of him.

i looked up at him through my lashes and i wasn’t surprised to see him watching my movements. i bit my lip to suppress a giggle, loving the power i had over him. finally i grasped his length in my hands and began to stroke him up and down. my hands easily glided over him, enough to make his head spin.

“shit,” luke breathes. “so fuckin’ good princess.”

he was putty in my hands and right there in that moment he was completely succumbed to me. luke was moaning and panting in my ear as i cupped his balls in my other hand, massaging them gently.

“oh baby don’t stop.” he moaned.

my movements suddenly stopped as i rose to my feet again and taking over the hot water. luke whined, watching me smile to myself as i let my body drink up the excitement. i rolled my head back, exposing my neck to luke. he took it as the perfect opportunity to decorate my neck with bruises i knew i’d regret later. he dipped his head down and took a nipple into his mouth before grabbing my neck. “i never knew why you got your nipples pierced if you can see them through your little thing called a suit,” luke said. “one it was a dare from chloe and two i never would’ve gone through with it.” i justified.

luke’s free hand slid down to cup my sex, slowly rubbing my clit sloppily. i threw my head back moaning in satisfaction as i twisted his wet hair in my hands. “lu, please.” i begged but i didn’t know what for. “what pretty girl, use your words,” he mumbled in my ear. luke loved to hear me say it. he loved when i was merciless. he loved being in control. “please luke i want you…” i paused. i hated the word more than anything, but luke loved making me say it. “where pretty girl, say it.” luke encouraged, squeezing my bum.

“say the words baby girl.”

“i want you in my pussy.”

i felt my cheeks redden. luke loves dirty talk, and boy so do i, but i can say dirty things without using dirty words. i was pressed up against the wall as luke slowly made his way into me. i whimpered at the feeling, never adjusting to his size. luke found the perfect rhythm, thrusting harder each time. “god you’re tight.” he gasped. he began to thrust harder, the sound of skin slapping against each other echoed throughout the locker room.

“luke, fuck.” i moaned.

“i know, baby.” he replied. luke reached his arm around me again as his fingers found my clit. luke began rubbing, harder than he had the first time, pushing my body to release. my mind clouded with pleasure as my high came closer and closer. my moans grew louder along with his before i released. my breath hitched in my throat as i opened my eyes to see luke already moving south. luke held my stomach back, making my lower back press against the tile more. “c’mere,” he groaned, pulling my hips towards his lips. i looked down at him, attempting to close my legs, i felt so vulnerable with him gawking at me.

“keep those legs open for me before i punish you.”

i did as told, and spread my legs a little wider. he looked up at me with a devilish stare before sticking his tongue out, hovering above my clit. i grew impatient waiting for him to devour me, so i pushed my hips towards him only to be slammed back into the wall. “wait princess, i’ll get there.” luke hummed. he soon flicked the tip of his tongue against my clit making me suck in a breath. luke repeated his motions, making sure his whole tongue covered my heat. his tongue swiped over me, licking down between my folds, poking inside, before gliding up back to my clit which he sucked into his mouth. he sucked hungrily like it was the last thing that he’d ever eat. my hands flew to his hair as he repeated his actions.

“fuck, luke!” i cried out. “don’t fucking stop baby oh my god.” but i didn’t know how much pleasure i could actually take.

i could feel the water and my juices run down my thighs. the only sounds in the room was the sound of luke’s lips and tongues smacking against me while he licked and sucked up everything i had. i couldn’t help but squirm and shake above him, my thighs clamping around his head as i tried to pull away as much as possible. luke looked up at me with hunger and disappointment in his eyes.

“i told you, don’t fucking move.”

i whined, hoping for some mercy. “i can’t help it!”

“actions have consequences baby girl.”

i was pulled down onto the shower floor, my legs up in the air and feet parallel to the ceiling. i was spread perfectly for him before him. i gasped when i felt him flick his tongue, referring back to when he started, i was practically grinding myself on luke’s face as he lapped up whatever was coming out of me. my legs began to shake again, as i cried out.

“luke!” i gasped, feeling sensitivity run all through my body. “luke, i can’t!”

but my cry wasn’t enough to stop him. rather he held me down harder and buried his tongue inside me, flicking it and pushing as deep into me as he could. i whimpered and cried beneath him, another orgasm as my hands raked down my body while my back arched off the wet floor. i was helpless against the amount of strength the blonde boy held underneath me. his tongue fucked me until i was panting and screaming, pleading with him to stop. i was over sensitive i was practically quaking. luke finally pulled away with a gasp, mouth soaked with my come, and smirked at me. he licked his lips clean before moving to shove his tongue into my mouth. he flicked it quickly against mine, letting me taste what he was just buried in, before pulling away leaving me panting.

“jesus luke,” i panted, trying to catch my breath. i laid back on the floor for a minute, trying to regain all energy. “think you can take one more princess?” luke asked, stroking my cheek. i nodded, holding his hand that was on my cheek. i sucked on his thumb as he tapped the head of his cock against my clit. “ready?” luke asked before entering me. i nodded again, preparing myself for another orgasm in about two seconds. i gasped at the sudden thrust and felt my eyes roll back into my head as luke moved without warning, not even giving me time to adjust. “you’re so naughty y/n, being fucked on your little locker room floor, such a naughty girl” luke groaned in my ear.

luke tilted my head and pressed our lips together as he continued to fuck me, i could feel his balls slap against my bum. i was so caught up in the pleasure, anything luke was saying was flying over my head. i let out a small cry as luke pulled most of the way out before slamming back into me again, my g-spot being prodded and pushed against. luke snaked his hand around my waist and rubbed circles on my clit, his actions anything but gentle.

he was going at it rough and it was because of the joy he got watching me struggle underneath him. “lu I’m close” i cried, slamming my hand against the wall as the feeling intensified the more i got closer to my orgasm. he rubbed my clit faster and soon enough i felt my self coming for the third time tonight. i felt my orgasm flow over me as i clenched around luke, letting pleasure roam through my veins. luke followed soon after me, gripping my body tight, pulling my hips towards his as he slammed in and out of me.

“god i should visit you way more often if this is the reward i get.” luke chuckled.

#luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings preference #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings 5seconds of summer #luke hemmings 5sos #luke 5sos #luke smut #luke #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer smut #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer preference #luke hemmings 5 seconds of summer #5sos smut #5sos #smut #5sos imagine #mine #writing

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