#lucy is literally his savior

[whumpypepsigal]

Lockwood & Co. s01e08: “Luce, I can't stand it anymore. Say something. Anything. Please. We won. We beat Winkman. We got the mirror. It's safe with Barnes. George will be back any moment. You can relax. It's over.”

[dyns33]

Only wastelands part 2

Here's part 2 of my Cooper Howard x Reader ! I think it will be a story in 4 parts at the end, but I'm not sure yet.

Tags : @one-of-thewalkingdead @coolrobloxkid28 @thebumbqueen @rachmari @ilyvia @justme12200 @honeybunhottie @savanahc @gobbodoggo @bisasterbisexual @killingboredom @bonafideyapper @i-simp-for-mha-men @pixelatedprofilepic @ultimatreality @chattersstuff @harmfulb1tch @hellolettuce444 @miketastic25

If Y/N had to pay Cooper one compliment, it was that he had been a very good teacher.

Months passed, years, and she survived the apocalypse perfectly on her own.

To avoid trouble, she hid her pitboy and her gender under a large coat and a Ranger mask. Some people made fun of her, thinking she was doing this to protect herself from radiation. Everyone knew that West Tek's hardware, or any of Vault's partners, was crap.

Y/N knew it, and that was why she always had Radaway on her. Not at all in case she saw Cooper again and he needed some.

Three years without any news, doing everything to avoid attracting attention, and she hardly thought about him at all.

If she sometimes looked at the photo of him before his turning, with little Janey, it was only to remember that she should trust no one in this rotten world. Never again, she repeated to herself.

It was with this spirit that she almost killed Lucy when the young woman fell on her. Literally.

Y/N was standing in a crater, calm, silent, holding her sniper tightly, ready to shoot her future dinner, when the little vaultie had jumped to escape a yao guai.

Her instinct not being often wrong, she knew that it was more urgent to kill the bear than the imbecile who had thought that surprising a shooter was less dangerous than confronting a beast.

Even though she had a gun, was covered in blood, and one of her fingers was a different color, little Vault dweler looked harmless with her big, naive doe eyes.

It was obvious that she had been outside for a short time. A true miracle that she is still alive.

"Thank you, thank you very much !" she repeated with a huge smile, as if Y/N wasn't pointing her sniper at her. "You don't know the week I just had ! My father was kidnapped, I wanted to save him, but I discovered that he was a murderer who had bombed a city, and all the people I met tried to kill me, and…"

"Hey. I don't remember asking you to tell me about your life, vaultie."

"Oh, sorry ! It's just that I got lost. I was with someone heading to a place called New Vegas, but a big monster pulled him into a hole, then this thing attacked me. You seem nice, and I could use some help…"

"No."

“Wait. But wait !” the girl begged, following her as she went to carve the yao guai. Not the best meat, but she had just wasted five bullets for that, and the noise had either scared away the easy preys or attracted the attention of the dangerous ones.

Y/N vacillated between ignoring Lucy and threatening her, asking her to leave, but after exchanging names, the vaultie seemed to have decided that they were now best friends and should stay together.

No doubt taking her savior's silence as an invitation, she continued to talk about what had happened to her, between her meeting with a man named Maximus, and the inhumane treatment she had suffered at the hands of a mercenary.

Completely incoherent, she ended her story by explaining that she had abandoned her potential boyfriend to go on an adventure next to the guy who tortured her, with the aim of finding her dad and discovering who had destroyed the entire planet.

It was quite funny, because Lucy reminded her a bit of herself before. Y/N wondered if Cooper had seen her like that when they met, a lost and stupid thing.

At the same time, the girl's reasons for living were the same as the Ghoul. Find a family member and take revenge on Vault. Amusing. Maybe they would be very happy together.

If we forgot the fact that Lucy thought that no one should be killed, that everyone was nice, and mutual help was a fundamental notion, to start again. Ugh.

"So, some free advice, if you want to avoid having your tongue cut out, remember that it is not a good idea for a little vaultie who grew up in a palace to give big moral lessons to people who have been doing what they can to avoid dying for years, sometimes centuries."

"Why do you call me that ? You come from a vault too, right ? My pitboy picked up yours."

"Hang on. I am a victim of the cruelty of politicians and businessmen, betrayed by my own country and only alive by luck, or bad luck. You are a little vaultie. Now get away before I strangle you."

Lucy continued to follow her. And Y/N could have killed her, she really could have. This wasn't her first rodeo. She had killed a lot of people for less than that. But she didn't really want to.

Maybe she had been alone for too long. Maybe she felt sorry for this girl, like Cooper had felt sorry for her.

A deal was found. If Lucy could keep her mouth shut, then Y/N would help her find her friends so she could resume her main quest. Their paths would then part ways, and everyone would be happy.

Especially Y/N.

Because if she often talked about her dear Max, the little vaultie didn't seem so eager to find her survival partner. This was understandable, since he had tried to kill her several times, shooting her, cutting off her finger, using her as bait, and selling her.

Compared to this guy, Y/N was a saint, an angel from heaven, the perfect friend. When she offered the girl a bottle of non-irradiated water, she seemed about to ask her to marry her.

“You must be the only person in all the wastelands with good water !”

"It doesn't come cheap. But… I made a promise."

“My lovely traveling companion forced me to drink disgusting water and eat a man.”

"Charming."

Even though she seemed sweet and pure, Y/N continued to be wary of Lucy, sleeping with only one eye open and waiting for the moment when she would try to stab her in the back. First rule, don't trust anyone.

It had happened before. Never again.

Even after three years, the wound was still raw.

It was only when she saw the fear and regret in Lucy's eyes that Y/N restrained her action, yet ready to plant her blade the moment she had shown her the photo, taken out of her bag, asking her if it was her family.

Cooper hadn't been her family. He had been an asshole, who had manipulated her, who had made her believe that he loved her, and that she could love him, before abandoning her like a dog on the side of the road.

"Be careful with this Maximus. Men never change. He will take what he wants from you, and you will be hurt."

“He’s not like that.”

"I didn't think Coop was like that !" she shouted, really getting angry for the first time at Lucy, who jumped. "Yes, I loved him ! I trusted him ! It was stupid of me and I will never make that mistake again ! I hope he died in a hole, alone and in pain !"

"… Can I throw the photo away then ?"

“Give that back !” Y/N said quickly, snatching the only souvenir he had left from her hands and putting it safely in her pocket.

Lucy's sad smile indicated that she wouldn't have destroyed the photo. How sorry she was, for having gone through her things, and for having caused her pain by forcing her to talk about this man who had been so important. Also that she was happy, to see that despite her speeches, Y/N still cared for someone, even if she didn't want to.

She had never told anyone about it. It had been a long time since she had said his name, except when she woke up from a nightmare, in the middle of nowhere, calling for him like a child.

Lucy continued to smile, because for her, there must be another explanation for her precious Coop's behavior. She continued to call him Coop, even after Y/N threatened to make her eat her rotten finger.

"I know you don't like talking about him…"

“If you know that, shut up.” Y/N muttered as she continued walking towards New Vegas, trying to ignore the stream of words from the stupid vaultie, bingeing on romance novels and patriotic films.

"From the few things you agreed to share, Coop cared about you. He protected you, he taught you to defend yourself, he gave you a picture of his daughter. For me, this are proofs of love. Actions speak louder than words."

“He promised to come get me and I’m still waiting.”

"Wrong ! You left, you know how to hide perfectly, and you do everything to avoid him ! So, maybe he's been chasing you all this time and you don't know."

"What I do know is that the main clause of our deal was that you would stop talking so much, especially if it was to give such ridiculous and inappropriate advices."

They finally arrived at their destination after several weeks of walking. No sign of Lucy's friend on the way though. Perhaps he had died, or had not continued on his own.

It was clear that he wanted to use the daughter of vault 33 overseer to achieve his ends, and now that he had lost her, there was no point.

The city amazed the girl. It was the first real city she discovered, instead of those piles of ruins full of dust and vermin that were found in the four corners of the wastelands.

Her enthusiasm almost made Y/N laugh. A bit like how she had often made Cooper laugh without meaning to.

Damn, she needed to stop thinking about that bastard so often. Her mother was always saying that we manifest things through emotions and thoughts.

Her poor mother, long dead, but who had always been right.

As soon as her eyes landed on him, Y/N was crouched behind a wooden crate, watching Cooper Howard, fucking Cooper Howard, sitting near the casino, seemingly waiting for someone.

Seeing her, Lucy began to ask her what she was doing, her gaze following hers, and then the reaction was strange. Everything about this girl was strange anyway.

She started to smile.

Worse, she waved an arm at the Ghoul in greeting, opening her mouth to get his attention as she realized it wasn't enough, his cowboy hat falling over his face.

Y/N quickly grabbed her arm to pull her towards her, asking her what she was playing.

"It's the mean bounty hunter who accompanies me !" she replied happily, as if everything was normal.

For a moment, Y/N wondered if Lucy was making fun of her. If from the start, this was just a horrible joke against her, the continuation of a torture started in this seedy bar.

Then she told herself that if someone made fun of her, it was just fate.

Because she remembered that she had only described Cooper, continuing not to have any particular interest in his condition as a ghoul, and with her goodness as a jug, Lucy had not wanted to reduce him to his appearance either.

The difference was that he didn't give his name to his new pet.

“I knew you were an idiot, but not that much.”

"What ? Why ?" Lucy wondered, slightly offended and trying to free herself.

"You can't trust him. You already know that, why do you want to go back with him ? Look… I can help you find your father, okay ? Find Max. Whatever you want, but let's avoid this bastard and let's leave quickly."

"Golden rule. We said we would wait near the casino, he's there, I'm not leaving him."

With this serious look, the vault dweler would almost have looked frightening. Almost. It was mainly because it was obvious that it was impossible to reason with her that Y/N let her go, not waiting for her tirade about great friendship and the need to stay together to run as far as possible.

If Cooper noticed them, she didn't give him time to really see her, nor to catch up with her or shoot her.

Y/N didn’t turn around to check. Not because she was afraid of him chasing her. But because she was afraid that not only would he not pursue her, but she would also see him with Lucy.

Because even though he had tortured her, insulted her, threatened her… He was in front of the fucking casino waiting for this girl. And it really hurt.

[im-ovulating]

(A/n: this is entirely self indulgent btw (which is ironic bc I /can/ swim but idc I just want an excuse for Luci to hold me okay😭))

(Ironic bc as soon as I started writing this, Milk of the Siren by Melanie Martinez started playing lmao)

(If you don't know, it's basically about getting revenge on men and drowning them)

Word Count: 1,422

Summary: Lucifer finds out MC doesn't know how to swim and decides to change that

Warnings: don't know if this needs to be a warning but: reader can't swim (obvi)

Age Rating: Pg 13

Swimming Lessons: Lucifer x Fem! Reader

------------------------

'I can do this... It's gonna be fine, I'm gonna be fine.'

You're standing at the door to the RAD pool as you try to steel yourself for what's to come.

.

The House of Lamentation had gone for a beach day a week prior; just taking a day to wind down from exams and student council duties. You had managed to keep your inability to swim a secret for most of the day under the guise of keeping Beel from eating all the snacks.

All good things must come to an end, though. Cue Mammon chasing you down to throw you in the ocean.

All you could do was panic as you desperately tried to keep your head above the waves. Your feet slipping as the sand gave under you, unable to support the weight of your hysteric kicking.

But just as fast as you were thrown in, you're pulled out.

You sputter as you wiped the salty water from your eyes, your arm in someone's vice grip as they yank you to land. Looking to your savior, you're met with am angry Lucifer glaring at your assailant.

"I really should stop expecting you to start acting like the second oldest brother. No matter what punishments you recieve, no matter how many lectures, you never seem to grow up. It's one thing when you cause problems for yourself, it's a completely different problem when you almost kill an exchange student. You're a sorry excuse for an avatar, Mammon."

"Hey!- That's not fair! How's I s'posed to know the human can't swi-"

"Enough! Everybody, start packing. We're going home." The groans and protests are silenced with a cold glare leveled towards them.

One by one the brothers file off to gather everything with the occasional (read: frequent) insult or snide comment to the second born.

.

After the ordeal was done and everyone was back at the HoL, Lucifer had cornered you in your room.

You were unpacking your beach bag when he came in, door clicking shut behind him.

"You can't swim." He doesn't ask.

"What of it?" You ask, looking over your shoulder at him as you gather your bathing suit and towel to throw in the laundry hamper.

"Why?"

You shrug, moving back to your bag to put away your sunglasses and spf. "I don't know, I just never learned."

Minutes pass in silence as he watches you unpack, the only noise is the ruffling of your bag accompanied with the occasional clack of something dropping.

Eventually he breaks the silence. "Would you like to?"

"Like to what?"

"Would you like to learn to swim?"

You stop to think about it. "Um, I feel like I would just get embarrassed... Most people learn when they're kids and the ones that don't, rarely learn. I mean, can you really imagine me in a pool surrounded by literal children who swim better than me?"

You chuckle at the mental image of yourself with water wings on. "I think I'll pass."

"I was referring to me teaching you." He still hasn't moved from his sentry position as you shuck your now empty bag into your closet.

"Like, alone? With you? In a pool? With water?" No offense to him but you feel like all it would take is one wrong move and you'll have annoyed him to the point of drowning you. You tell him so, earning a rare Lucifer smile.

"You'll be safe." He muses. "I have an inclination that Lord Diavolo wouldn't take too kindly to me killing one of his exchange students. Much less one of his favorite ones."

"Ha ha," you fake. "Funny, though I'm far from his favorite.'

"But I guess I'll trust you."

.

So here you are, about to potentially enter your very own death chamber.

'Oh, god- It's not going to be fine.' Your heart starts to pick up but before you can fully freak out you hear a voice from inside.

"Are you going to come in or just stare at the door?" Lucifer calls from the other side of the door.

No turning back now. You push the surprisingly heavy door open, revealing an even more surprisingly sized pool. It easily puts an Olympic sized swimming pool to shame. You can scarcely see the bottom even in the so-called shallow end.

Lucifer is already in, arms holding his upper body out of the water as he waits for you to join him. You can't lie, you're having a bit of a struggle to not stare at his toned arms and what you can see of his sculpted chest.

"Come on, the water isn't going to bite."

"Says you," you mutter as you strip to your swimsuit. You pad over to the edge, sitting down to put your legs in first. Taking a deep breath, you push off, keeping a death grip on the siding.

A couple feet separate you from the avatar of pride.

"Okay, now push off and try to pad over to me." He holds out a hand to you.

"I thought you were supposed to be teaching me?" You're trying not to panic or look into the depths beneath you.

"I am. I need to see what you can do before I can help with what you can't." He states, gesturing you towards him.

"If I die, I swear to god, I will haunt you for the rest of your life. If you think Mammon is bad, just you wait until you see what ghost Y/n has in store for you." With one last proclamation of wrath, you shove off, more tossing yourself towards him than paddling over to him, but that's as much as he's getting from you.

As soon as your head submerges, you panic, arms flailing as you try to reach out to Lucifer. You feel his hand grip your forearm as he hauls you back up. It's when you clear your eyes of the awful, chlorinated water that you notice he had moved the both of you further into the pool. There's no way you can reach the siding from here.

"Fucking hell!" You scramble to cling tighter to Lucifer. "I'm gonna die. This is how I die-"

"Calm down," he interrupts. "You are going to die if you don't stop panicking."

He pulls you away from his body, causing your nails to dig further into his skin. "Look at me."

You do. Panting with pupils blown from fear.

"Are you drowning?"

"I-" "Are you?"

You swallow. "No."

"Exactly, and I told you I wouldn't let you; do you think I'm going back on my word not even 5 minutes in?"

"No..."

"Okay then. you said you'd trust me, so do so. Kick your legs lightly. Almost in a pedaling rhythm." He instructs. "We're going to start with keeping you above the surface."

And so, your legs start moving, the force of the water pushing back with each movement is a bit odd, but not too bad.

When you get a good rhythm going Lucifer drops your arms. "Keep kicking and stay calm."

You start to sink a bit but try to stay calm.

"Kick a bit harder."

You start to gain back face-to-water distance and you let yourself get excited.

"I'm doing it!-" In the process of celebrating, you stop kicking.

Just before your head goes under, Lucifer pulls you up yet again.

"What happened to 'keep kicking'?" He asks.

You look up to answer, only to find that his face is way closer than you thought. All too sudden, you're aware of his tight hold around your waist and how your chests press together as your hands rest on his shoulders. Your legs lightly brush against each other as you both kick to stay afloat.

"..."

"..."

Neither of you break the silence as your eyes stay locked together.

Are you going insane, or is his face getting closer?

No, it definitely is. Your noses bump as Lucifer tilts to the side. Your eyes are sliding shut and your lips are a hair's width apart when the pool door slams open.

Both of you jump apart as much as you can without him letting you sink. Luke stands at the entrance, staring at you with a look of shock.

"I- I was looking for Beelzebub- He... He ate the last of a cake I made and ran. I- Sorry." With that the angel scurries away, effectively taking the tension with him.

"..."

"I think we're done for the day." Lucifer says.

"Yep. Completely."

[lacontroller1991]

Fluff/WhumpTOBER Day 17: Alt Ending RJ MacCready

Alt Ending to Day 17 where Sole does die and the effects it has on MacCready's mental health Masterlist Warnings: 18+, Child Neglect, Severe Depression, Language, Grieving Process, Literally rotting in bed, infections, this is much much darker than the original imo Word Count: 2.9k

The weeks following your death were brutal. MacCready had come back to Sanctuary Hills, various tears and wounds littering his body, dried blood staining his clothes. Garvey is the first to notice him, running out to meet the merc and the general, only for the general to be missing.

  “MacCready, where is the general?” MacCready said nothing as he pushed past Garvey, eyes that were once bright blue and filled with life now a dull void. It didn’t take long for Garvey, and others, to figure out what had happened. You and MacCready left together and only one came back. 

Word got around quickly. ‘The Savior of the Commonwealth, killed by a horde of ghouls’ was a title that not even Piper would dare to write. How could she? How could she do that to a person who helped anyone and everyone, including her? Regardless, it became known that (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was killed yet her partner was alive. 

Rumors spread like wildfire that MacCready had been the one to push you into the horde to ghouls to save his own skin. Afterall, it wouldn’t be uncommon for a mercenary to look out for himself and himself only, but anyone who knows Robert MacCready and his love for you would know that that rumor is a load of horseshit. Still, people had questions and only one person had the answers, except he couldn’t. MacCready couldn’t get out of bed. Not for Nick. Not for Deacon. Not for Hancock. Not even for Duncan, who is still too young to understand what had happened.

“Daddy? I’m hungry.” Duncan’s small voice quivers, stomach growling as if to emphasize his point but Mac doesn’t move. He supposes he’s hungry too, he can’t really remember the last time he ate anything, or had anything to drink. But he can’t move while his slowly deteriorating body is glued to the bed.

“Go away Duncan.” It’s the only sound that MacCready can make and Duncan doesn’t say anything in response. Instead, the small toddler climbs into Mac’s bed, your bed, trying to curl into his father, but MacCready can’t stand it. Using what little strength he has, Mac pushes Duncan off of the bed causing the toddler to crash onto the floor, tears welling in his eyes as sobs wreck through his body, annoying MacCready. “I said GO AWAY!” MacCready throws a pillow where Duncan cries, causing the little boy to run out the door in a hurry and Mac can vaguely hear the front door opening over the sound of his own thoughts. Why is he like this? Why does he hate his own kid?

It’s because of him that Lucy and (Y/N) died.

You’re worthless. You can’t save anyone, let alone take care of a child.

Duncan should be with Lucy or (Y/N), not you. You’re just a killer.

Lucy and (Y/N) sacrificed themselves so you could take care of Duncan, and look at you, can’t even get out of bed to feed your own child.

What kind of father are you, that you hate your own son.

MacCready doesn’t move as the thoughts consume him. He hates himself. He hates that he allowed you and Lucy to die for him, and he hates himself that he hates Duncan. Mac is left alone with the thoughts swimming in his head like a lake full of piranhas, slowly eating away at him as sleep lures him further into the deep.

----------

Duncan wanders down the streets, tears wetting his face as he looks around the settlement. It’s nighttime and most everybody is asleep except for three sitting by the fire, silently talking amongst themselves. As Duncan closes in, he raises a ratty sleeve two sizes too big and wipes away his tears. “Excuse me.”

The three turn their attention from each other to the toddler in front of them before casting each other a concerned glance. The one closest to Duncan extends a withered hand which Duncan takes, allowing for the person to hoist Duncan onto the seat next to him. “Whatcha doing out here squirt? Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Hancock’s raspy voice asks softly, holding the kid close to his body as Duncan sniffles.

“I’m hungry.” 

From across the fire, Nick wordlessly scoops a bowl of stew, handing it to Hancock with a spoon while Deacon watches the interaction. It’s been hard on everyone. Preston took the role of General but can’t keep up with the demands of the settlements on top of dealing with his own emotions about your death. Piper hasn’t been able to write a single column. Cait and Danse just wander around as if they’re lost. Codsworth tries to keep busy but there’s only so many hedges that need trimming. Nick tries to throw himself into case after case, but with the Institute gone, the primary cause of his work is now mute. Deacon occasionally gets away from Sanctuary, claiming he has ‘important business to do’ but in actuality it’s him trying to find you, hoping that maybe you made it out. Hancock tries to drown his sorrow with drugs and company, but there’s only so many drugs that you can take only to wake up sober with the reminder that his sunshine is gone.

“Does your dad not feed you?” Nick questions from across the fire as Duncan greedily eats the stew with no restraint. It doesn’t take him long to finish the bowl before he’s shaking his head, holding out the bowl for more. 

“No. He doesn’t even eat.” Nick stops his movement of grabbing the ladle as the words hang in the air like thick morning fog. “I can’t remember the last time I ate something.”

“What do you mean he doesn’t eat?” Deacon takes the ladle from Nick, pouring the contents into the bowl for Duncan who immediately slurps the stew down.

“He doesn’t leave the bed. I think he’s sick or something. He’s scaring me,” Duncan pouts, tears welling in his eyes again as he leans into Hancock, head falling to his lap. “Does daddy hate me?”

The three men share a glance in confusion before looking back down to the kid. “What do you mean, pal?”

“I tried to sleep with him but he pushed me off and yelled at me to go away,” his lip quivers before bawling, his wails echoing in the night as Hancock rubs a hand along his back, trying to soothe the toddler while Deacon fumes and Nick frowns. They know that MacCready is taking your death hard, harder than anyone, but ignoring your own child, telling them to go away, is something that they didn’t think he was capable of.

“It’s okay munchkin. He doesn’t hate you,” Hancock knows it’s probably a lie. He saw how MacCready got when Lucy died. He saw how aggressive and depressed he got, but this is another level. “Why don’t we get you to bed. How about you stay with Uncle John? Hmm?” 

The toddler’s sobs slowly reside, replacing themselves with hiccups as he nods, a yawn erupting from his throat. Picking Duncan up, Hancock holds the child close to him as he stands, tipping his tricorn to his companions before carrying a drowsy Duncan to bed.

“What are we going to do about that? If MacCready is as bad as Duncan is saying, we need to intervene. We can’t have Duncan being neglected. He’s just a kid for Christ sake.”

Nick nods in agreement, gears turning in his head as his yellow eyes peer toward your house where MacCready stays, a frown tugging on his lips. “We need to get the kid out of his slump. It’s not doing no one any good with him just laying there all day, especially if he’s not capable of taking care of his kid.”

Deacon nods in agreement, finishing the rest of his Gwinnett before removing the pot from the fire. “I’ll talk to him in the morning. See if I can knock some sense into him.” Nick eyes the spy with speculation. It’s not that Nick doubts Deacon’s ability, Deacon can just get… intense… sometimes. Sensing Nick’s concerns, Deacon smirks. “Relax, I’m not gonna kill him.”

----------

The moment Deacon pushes open the door to your room, a strong smell penetrates his nostrils, causing the spy to gag. “What the?” As his eyes adjust to the darkness, Deacon takes off his sunglasses to get a good look at the room. What was once tidy and clean is now a metaphorical shithole with rags and dirty clothes strewn across furniture. In the middle of it all lies MacCready, pale and passed out. “Shit.” 

Flipping on a light, Deacon uses the luminance to get a closer look at the sniper. Despite being lanky, MacCready normally has supple flesh, but the person in front of Deacon looks like a skeleton. Lifting up the blanket, Deacon gags at the smell. “When was the last time he showered?” Deacon lifts one of MacCready’s arms, involuntarily hissing at the sight of various unhealed wounds, inflamed and infected. “Fuck, kid. What the hell happened?” 

Deacon pauses for a minute, thinking of what to do. He’s been in several situations, but none really prepared him for a grieving, on the brink of death, sniper. He gets where MacCready is coming from, afterall, once Barbara’s killers were dealt with, he too went into a depressive state, but he got himself out of it and he doesn’t think that MacCready has the means to.

Lifting up the merc, Deacon briefly hears a groan of pain but ignores it, carrying him out of the room. “Don’t worry, Bobby, we’ll take care of you.”

—-------

“Monsieur Deacon! Is that Monsieur MacCready?” 

“Yeah, Curie. He needs help. These wounds are infected and it’s clear that he hasn’t cleaned them. We need to get these cleaned out and get some liquids into his system,” Deacon places the young man on the gurney as Curie flits around the room, grabbing miscellaneous items, including a few med-x and stimpaks. 

“How did it get this bad?” Curie straps MacCready to the gurney, administering the med-x as Deacon steps back, placing a hand over his bald head. 

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t let any of us get within a mile of the house without threatening to ‘blow our fucking head off’.” Curie frowns for a second before shaking her head. 

“I’ll do what I can.”

----------

MacCready slowly wakes up, the front of his head pounding as his eyes try to adjust to the light. Why is it so bright in here? His attempt at sitting up is quickly shut down by the restraints to the gurney. Gurney? What happened?

“Oh good, you’re awake.” Great. Deacon.

“I told you to leave me alone unless you just want a piece of lead in your head.”

“Yeah, your threats don’t mean anything to us right now. Not when you’re strapped down,” a second voice joins. Hancock’s voice. 

In confusion, MacCready tries to rip off the restraints but in his fragile state, he can’t. His blue eyes scan around the room, making eye contact with the collection of people standing in front of his bed. “What the fuck is going on in here?”

“We’re intervening ya dipshit.” Cait pipes up from her corner, toned arms laying across her chest. “You’ve been a little shite and we’re holding ya accountable.”

“You’ve been neglecting proper food and care for yourself. You’ve also been neglecting Duncan.” Nick’s accusatory voice is sharp and condescending, causing guilt to flood in MacCready. He knows that it’s not Duncan’s fault that you’re dead. He knows it’s not Duncan’s fault that Lucy is dead, but every time he looks at his son all he can see is them and how he failed them. A single tear slips from his eye as he looks away, shame eating at his gut. Duncan doesn’t deserve him. Duncan deserves Lucy or you, not his dad who can’t even take care of him. 

“Duncan was starving when he came to us. Do you realize how many days you’ve been in that damn room?” Deacon points a finger, his neck vein popping as Hancock tries to calm him down only to be brushed off. Mac shakes his head, swallowing the hard stares around him as he tries to shrink into himself. “20 days. It’s a damn good thing there was still food in the house. How could you not feed Duncan for 20 days?”

“Deacon, that’s eno-” Piper tries to interject but Deacon doesn’t listen to her.

“I get you’re grieving. We all are, but how the hell do you leave your kid alone and defenseless to the point where he wanders out in the middle of the fucking night to ask for some fucking food.”

“Jeez Deacon, go take a walk,” Hancock grabs Deacon by the color and drags him out of the room, shutting the door behind him, leaving Piper, Cait and Nick in the room. 

Nick sighs, rubbing his temple as MacCready gulps, wishing he were dead instead of here. “Look kid. Whatever funk you’re in, you need to get out of it. Duncan needs his dad. He needs you to be able to look after him, bathe him, feed him, make sure he feels safe and loved, not neglected and hated.”

“What?”

“He thinks that you hate him,” Piper comments with a frown, taking a seat on MacCready’s gurney, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. Despite their differences, Piper and MacCready had formed a sibling bond thanks to you. “Poor kid.”

“I-” Mac tries to think of something to say but nothing comes out. He doesn’t want to hate Duncan, but visions of you and Lucy playing with his son just replay in his head and he loathes that they died for him and Duncan. “I can’t stop blaming him.”

In a fit of rage, Cait stands with a huff and leaves, slamming the door behind her as Nick sighs. “He’s just a kid, Mac. None of this is his fault.”

“What exactly happened? How would this be Duncan’s fault?”

Mac licks his lips, eyes casting downward to avoid their scrutinizing gaze. “I was supposed to take the fall. (Y/N) and I were running from deathclaws, we ran into a building with a trap door, fell onto a platform and there were ghouls everywhere. I was transported back to the moment where Lucy died. I was powerless to stop her death,” he pauses, releasing a shaky breath as the two wait patiently for him to continue. “We only had one grenade and a handful of bullets. I was going to throw the grenade toward the exit, clear out the ferals while distracting them so (Y/N) could make it out, but she told me that Duncan needs me, not her, and that’s when she tripped me, handed me the bullets and threw the grenade toward the exit before jumping down and distracting them. There were too many,” Mac tapers off with a hollow look in his eyes as if replaying the scene in his head. “She died so I could raise Duncan. Lucy died and all I could save was Duncan. I can’t look at my own kid without seeing and hearing and smelling their death.” Tears stream down his face as Piper pulls him into her side, rubbing his arm in comfort. 

“Jeez Blamco.”

“What am I gonna do? The only two people I’ve ever loved are dead and I’m left with my son who I can’t even look at, let alone take care of.” Piper and Nick give each other a look. 

“First, you need to understand that none of that is Duncan’s fault. He is just a kid. What happened to Lucy was purely accidental and (Y/N) sacrificed herself so you can watch your only son grow up. Something that she never got the chance to. You can start by loving him how they would love him, and slowly get over the notion that this is his fault.” Nick halts for a second, taking an unneeded breath. “How about Piper stays here for a little while, watching after Duncan while you slowly regain your strength. You took on a pretty nasty infection from all those bites and coupled with not eating or drinking anything took a toll on your body. It’s going to need time to heal. While you heal you can visit Duncan in small increments, I know it’s going to be tough to look at him, but he’s your son and he’s just a kid. He doesn’t understand your complex emotions. He needs his father.”

“I know he needs me. I just can’t.”

“Yes you can, Mac. Look, I’ll be with you the whole time, if you need to get away, give me a signal and I’ll distract Duncan while you slip out. How does that sound?” Mac sniffles as he looks out of the window, spotting a small frame being tossed in the air by Danse, Deacon watching to make sure Danse isn’t too hard on the small boy who laughs with glee. A sense of longing pulls at MacCready’s heart. That should be me out there. Turning back to Piper and Nick, he reluctantly nods. 

“Okay. Let’s do that.”

-fin-

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hello there 👋

Can you talk about why you feel the way you do about the female bsd characters? (including the female characters you like) and while I don't think the author doesn't know how to write female characters I think the biggest problem with the female characters is that they're underutilized and barely have much screentime ( the most one we saw recently having screentime currently in the manga is teruko)

Hi!! I love you all SO much but seriously I don't have the mental stability to talk about why the bsd female characters are badly written ahah. Here's my best attempt at it:

I hope it's enough for me to say there's a female / male characters proportion of like 1:10, and no female character has any real repercussion on the plot– literally. Besides from Kyouka and Lucy and maybe Yosano? you could hypothetically erease every other female character and... Realistically, nothing would change. That's just how much irrelevant all but three female characters are, and there's already very few compared to the rest of the male cast. The four main / most popular characters are all males. Dazai is openly sexist and it's just kind of there never to be addressed. Akutagawa is repetedly violent with his female coworker and it's treated as a gag (like you DO realize how repulsive it is to write a character who is obsessed with her abuser and never be intentioned to elaborate on that because I guess that's what women are supposed to do according to author? Like. okay). But honestly the main issue for me is how each of them literally gravitates around another male character. God, it's SO annoying. And I mean every single of them!!! Every. single. Every single!!!! I struggle to come up with even one exception to the pattern. Kyouka has Atsushi as her savior, Lucy has Atsushi as her savior, Higuchi is obsessed with Akutagawa, Naomi is obsessed with Jun'ichirou, Gin literally exists because of Akutagawa, Alcott is just there to aid Fitzgerald, Margaret's only role in the story is to save Hawthorne, Elise is just expression of Mori. Teruko is a person in the body of a child who literally drools over her 50-something superior, like we hadn't as a society come to the common agreement that the “not as old as she looks” trope was disgusting pedophilia apologism like ten years ago (but it's okay though, because pedophilia was established to be okay in this manga at like, chapter 15 or something) (is this the good time to bring up that time Aya asked Kunikida out? No? Okay let's just collectively pretend that never happened). Do I need to go on? I haven't read Gaiden, but do I really need to read it to know Tsujimura gravitates around Ayatsuji? Oh wait, I was just remembered about Gaiden's full title: Bungou Stray Dogs Gaiden: Ayatsuji Yukito VS. Kyougoku Natsuhiko, and if that doesn't speak of the consideration author gives their female characters, I don't know what does. It's just– no female character is ever going to have their own novel. No female character is ever going to be protagonist. They'll just keep being treated as they've always been so far, like flat and personality-less disposable plot devices.

Now. I love Yosano's backstory, I really do- I think it was the best executed arc of the manga, reading those two chapter still gives me chills. But you do have to acknowledge, Yosano herself has no agency in the entire arc development. It's okay, she was eleven, it's natural; but she is just tossed one way to the other by other characters. That, and I can't stretch it enough, is not a bad thing on its own; not all stories have to scream #womanpower to be good stories. It's a good story. But you need to acknowledge it does nothing to empower female characters' role in this manga; it just speaks once again of it being a systematic problem, how author can't write female characters like they were masters of their fate if their life depended on it. And it's not that just because there's one (1) mini arc that happens to have a female character as its protagonist, author knows how to write female characters with depth, or agenda, or an objective, or personality, because... They clearly don't.

Like. I probably became annoying by now but like. When was the last time you found any bsd fan whose favorite character was a woman? When was the last time you found people describing themselves as a Lucy kinnie? If you ask me, it's not a matter of fans' fault for overlooking female characters; the female characters in this franchise are meant to be overlooked, because they're abysmally less stretched out and complex compared to their male counterparts– because male characters are distinctive and unique, while author can't go outside the range of one-dimensional femme fatale, letal woman (Yosano, Kouyou, Teruko, Christie, Gin / Lucy / Elise too to an extent) and woman who's just there to obsess over a male character (Alcott, Higuchi). But do not fret, because author will sometimes go outside that scheme by making a letal femme fatale who also obsesses over a male character! (Naomi). Also this

(Have you ever wondered why I never talk about Beast Gin? Yeah.)

Okay but you see the problem here? You see how it's impossible to make the same kind of argument for the male characters, because they're all diverse and various and multilayered as much as their little screentime allows? Higuchi doesn't exist outside Akutagawa, Lucy doesn't exist outside Atsushi; but it's not like you can say the same goes the other way round. That is, crossing out the various parallels drawn between male characters, but that only speaks more of how precisely curated male characters are, while all female characters... I'll be honest, aren't written as people. Author really sounds like your average Washington Post best selling psychological thriller author of the week that writes women like an alien species from another planet. It would have spared me having been writing this whole post for an hour (two hours? Which is definitely not the time I wanted to spend on this, man) if only author would have formed the thought, at the start of the serialization: “perhaps! Perhaps I should write women as people instead of writing them as female characters (whatever that means)”. Alas, we ended up with the infamous Naomi description from Untold Origins (what the fuck. who in their right mind would ever think of writing something like that. what the fuck.)

Now, I know if you're here reading this you most definitely like bsd. It's okay, really. Unpopular opinion, but people are perfectly allowed to like things that are flawed (and this is a big flaw). What's extremely important, seriously, I'm on my knees begging you, is to be critical of the media you consume. All kinds of media. Even if you end up disagreeing with me on this matter, really!! Just be able to tell apart the things that make appealing a series for you from whatever kind of agenda / worldview the author is pushing through, and peacefully acknowledge you can like something despite it having issues (because bsd has issues). I don't know who needs to hear this, but someone definitely does: “I love s/kk!!” “the bsd storytelling has many compelling aspects!!” and “I recognize the bsd writing has flaws some of which actively harm an already disadvantaged part of society” are statements that can and should coexist, and if anything - and I know you hate to hear this, I'm sorry, I'm sorry - it should be kept in mind when deciding to support the franchise by buying its products.

One final note is that like... I'm sorry if this comes off as pretentious but I seriously feel like people have NO idea what media with well written female characters look like, because for people to even question bsd being sexist is just insane to me (in the way: do we really need to to talk about it, isn't it obvious like ten seconds in the show??). And this is probably the least good place to advertise things, but please do yourself a favor and read The Promised Neverland and learn what well written female characters read like.

[abstergo-industries-hr]

We have to get something off our collective chests.

…Desmond Miles is the DUMBEST “world savior” in all of history.

We literally gave him the passwords to his team’s emails while he was in Italy. He had written evidence that Lucy was a Templar and going to betray them.

AND HE DIDN’T NOTICE!

He didn't notice that the “William M.” she was corresponding with was not his dad. He definitely didn’t notice that his and Lucy’s escape from Abstergo was super easy. He didn't even realize his two other friends were clearly sleeping together when they referred to it in their emails!

By the way, Mazel Tov to both of you regarding your upcoming arrival. I hear “Eriduto” is a terrific gender neutral baby name!

Look, if we’re going to try to create an Assassin with a perfect bloodline again, can we at least focus a little more on intelligence than muscles. Not that I don’t mind Desmond’s, uh, physical attributes.

- Erudito

[ouatsnark]

One thing I see a lot on your blog is people claiming Emma thinks about Hook too much or that she's too focused on herself the more time she spends with Hook...

And like? Isn't one plot point Emma having to learn that she can't put her own life off because there's always a crisis?

I swear that was said at one point...

So like, of course Emma gets a bit more focused on her future (because our girl literally can't not think about the wellbeing of other people. She's too good a person to just, not think about others).

Because now she thinks she CAN have one.

Her whole life she grew up doubting she'd ever get a family. Being repeatedly cast aside in the system. She probably didn't think she COULD have one until she was with Neal but we all know how THAT ended.

Heck, she probably thought she'd NEVER have another chance at having a family for the first ten years of Henry's life after she HAD to give him up. Then he comes back and she thinks she's just gonna have to walk away until he's eighteen for a bit or that she's gonna have to play nice with Regina and leave town just so she can be there for him

I know I'm rambling but my point is why wouldn't Emma be thinking about her own future for what is probably the first time in a long time after getting her parents and Henry back, a little brother, and a new shot at love?

And why does her thinking of that future/plans at one off points during fighting make her a bad person when others (like Gold) can think about only what they want all the time?

Why is her getting to actually decorate a nursery while her own adult son (who is HAPPY for her and his stepdad who he loves) is off pursuing his own future?

I'm not the biggest fan of season 7 (Love Alice, Robyn, Lucy, and some of the other characters. The plot not so much.) but one thing it did right was give Emma a BREAK.

I just don't understand why people hate her for taking charge of her life and letting others in. Letting herself dream when it was literally pointed out she can't keep sacrificing her own potential happiness every time a crisis happened. How can some of these people claim to love Emma and then hate her for things other characters they supposedly love do?

You are 100% correct about Emma learning that even though she is the savior, she deserves to have her happiness as well. There were elements of this woven throughout S4, S5 and S6. We are watching Emma balancing duty, love and family.

But you have to understand that the anti-CaptainSwan crowd would have been absolutely 100% okay with Emma’s arc had it been exactly as it was but with Regina or Neal. Since it wasn’t, they have to lie about what happened and say Emma shirked her duty as savior to be with Killian when that absolutely never happened.

And they do not love Emma. They love their version of Emma that they wanted with Regina or Neal. Emma is also a stand-in for themselves for Regina and the majority of Swanfire fans are Rumple fans so they think his son should’ve gotten what he wanted. To hell with what Emma wanted. Or what the writers had envisioned.

[anne-ominous]

loved your take on the barb and max dilemma in the fandom!! tysm i felt so validated lol! the internet was making me feel crazy!!

Like I am very clearly a ghoul simp.

I have always loved ghouls since the first time I played New Vegas, and Cooper is obviously my favorite character in the show, but like.

Just the way fandom has glommed on to him makes me so uncomfortable. Like I don't even dislike the Ghoulcy ship, but so much of what I've seen in fanfics so far reminds me of the old bad days in the Harry Potter fandom where you can't just ship characters, you have to DESTROY the the person being pushed as the canon love interest first.

My takes on this are all based on fanfics because I spent a lot of time reading them since I can't write for beans myself, so it bugs me more when I catch trends:

It's a little funny that this bashing is so blatantly done in a setting specifically centered around there being no such thing as black and white, and you're often presented with choices that simply don't have a "good" ending.

But like, the fandom reactions are tripping over themselves to either amplify and fetishize how evil The Ghoul can be or alternatively softboi Cooper tamed in a week by Lucy. Either way, it's a fuckfest all about them.

But for Max, it's all: "hey this kid who lost everything at a young age and was raised in a cult he believed to be his saviors, only to be abused and berated and shown the ugly realities of life in a short span of time just stood back and let this guy (who was gloating about how he was going to get him tortured and executed for 'incompetence' despite being the one to do all the hard work and save his ass) die instead of helping him, despite the fact in the games we reverse-pickpocket live grenades into NPC's pants for a fraction of the shit-talk and disrespect Max was getting, so he's clearly evil and doesn't deserve anything".

And for Barb I have literally seen like two fics that mention her as something other than a glorified plot point, or an accessory to turn Ghoulcy into a 3-way. And I can kind of understand her not being featured as much in present day fics since we don't have the answers as to where she is or what she did during/after the divorce, but nearly every pre-war fic that does have her in the character tags she's an afterthought being actively cheated on for AU Ghoulcy to happen. If she has any characterization in those fics, it's a one-dimensional corporate bitch who is not a good mother to Janey.

I'm sorry, the woman who was willing to sell her soul to keep her family safe and together doesn't care about her daughter as much as Lucy who just popped in as a babysitter or whatever? The literal Deal With The Devil for her family's survival is suddenly doing it all for herself?

Like, duh, she's wrong. We know the spoilers, and that whatever survival Vault-Tec was offering wasn't worth the blood on her hands for supporting them, but that's the whole fucking point? I've seen "burn the world down and kill everyone in my way for my family" types get venerated before in other fandoms, so it's weird why suddenly Barb is deemed uninteresting here.

And I've seen a lot of defensive posts from people about how it's simply a coincidence the OTP is an old white guy and the young white girl, but like, is it also a coincidence that so many of the shippers have suddenly regressed to character-bashing instead of multi-shipping in this specific scenario? That only the OTP get nuance and character studies, and thoughts behind their actions and motivations?

[yutopia-eleftheria]

Saint Seiya Oméga Sexuality Headcanons ; Gold Saints

Kiki : Heterocurious Maverick Trans

Back when he was a kid, he was making fun of his master Mü for his feminine appearance, despite considering himself as a man nonetheless. Little did he know that this little joke will become way more as he grow older. When he became a Gold Saint, Kiki let his hair grow and tie them in the same fashion as his beloved master and father figure.

Moreover, his student Raki was not really confident about herself. But seeing that Paradox/Integra and Sonia managed to become Gold Saints, she felt a bit more confident. But with Sonia literally dying because of the Scorpio Gold Cloth, she was scared.

Kiki then had a full change of minds ; as he will start transitioning from male to female. She promised Raki to grow stronger and form a beautiful mother and daughter bond, like the one she had back then with Mü as a little boy.

Family : Mü {Master and Adoptive Father}

Husband : Genbu

Children : Raki {Student and Adoptive Daughter}

                 Huanyuu {Son}

                 Lucy {Daughter}

Harbinger : Aroace

Let’s be quick for that because there’s not much to say in all honesty : ever since what happened to him when he was a kid, Harbinger doesn’t trust anyone that easily, so forget about love, except if you manage to break his shell... Plus as the new Pope, he doesn’t even think about those kind of things at all.

Child : Ish-Thinn {Daughter ; with Kiki as donnor and surrogate mother}

Paradox : Lithromantic Heterosexual

If there is something Paradox never thought would feel one day, it’s clearly love. Her parents cared more about her twin sister Integra, as she was strong, smart, and more importantly not “cursed” (that’s the words her parents used to describe her powers).

But one day, her parents died in a fire in their house, and she was saved by Shiryû, who was merely a stranger to her family. She immediately fell in love with her savior, and her dream was to marry him when she grew older. But her chance was lost... Shiryû married his childhood friend Shunreï and they even had a son together.

At first, she was enraged and even wanted to kill Shunreï (yeah she is clearly a Yandere), but when she met their son Ryûhö, she fell in love with him, as he looked a lot like his father. Obviously, he was rejecting her because of the age gap (I mean that’s clearly pedophilia so...), but surprisingly enough, she likes it. Probably because she is used of being rejected. 

Of course, she will never have him, but perhaps she finally feels love with someone who didn’t reject her, probably because God made them as teammates twice.

Family : Unnamed Parents (Deceased)

              Integra {Younger Twin Sister}

              Bellanca {Mother-In-Law}

              Tokisaki {Sister-In-Law}

              Fudô {Brother-In-Law}

              Amor {Brother-In-Law}

              Cavalo {Nephew}

              Jakarta {Niece}

              Jade {Niece}

              Ejurua {Niece}

              Skun {Nephew}

              Filigree {Niece}

Husband : Tokisada

Children : Parshéa {Daughter}

                Keleos {Daughter}

                Shimizu Rui {Son}

Integra : Cisgender Pansexual

Unlike her sister, Integra is way more open to relationships. She doesn’t care about their gender, sexuality or anything else, because it’s their life and choices, and why not showing love for everyone ?

Family : Unnamed Parents (Deceased)

              Paradox {Older Twin Sister}

              Tokisada {Brother-In-Law}

              Tokisaki {Sister-In-Law}

              Fudô {Brother-In-Law}

              Médéa {Sister-In-Law} (deceased)

              Ludwig (Mars) {Brother-In-Law} (deceased)

              Sonia {Niece-In-Law}

              Éden {Nephew-In-Law}

              Sôma {Nephew-In-Law}

              Aria {Niece-In-Law}

              Parshéa {Niece}

              Keleos {Niece}

              Shimizu Rui {Nephew}

              Jade {Niece}

              Ejurua {Niece}

              Skun {Nephew}

              Filigree {Niece}

Husband : Amor

Children : Cavalo {Son}

                Jakarta {Daughter}

Schiller : Intersex Polyamorous

Schiller has always looked feminine. This is because of what cruel people has done to him in his childhood. Not only was he the only survivor in his town after the war, but he was also abducted and experimented on by some mad scientists. That’s what turned him Intersex (of course the scientists didn’t know that they put this “side effect” on him), but he managed to escape thanks to his eery powers.

After all of this, he thought that his survival depending on others’ own survivals. But despite that, he wants some love, and he doesn’t mind at all being in love with Strandeads.

Husband : Aiacos

Wife : Violate

Children : Skyler {Daughter}

                 Carda {Son}

                 Don {Son}

                 Pine {Daughter}

Mycenae : Aromantic Agender

Romance isn’t really what Mycenae is looking for. However, he accepts with pleasure to take care of his fellow Gold Saints’ children. Probably because Éden said he was an amazing teacher and father figure. He may be a proud warrior, but his soft spot for taking care of children is as clear as day. He will definitely be the type to adopt children that were abandoned and orphaned.

Children : Thorx {Son}

                Brittany {Adoptive Daughter}

                Nash {Adoptive Son}

Fudô : Omniromantic Quoigender

“What is Gender ? It doesn’t make any sense to me. Does that even matter ?” Is what Fudô is saying when speaking of Genders. But other than that, he is also fairly open in relationships, but not all so, you better be careful, or you’ll feel his mighty rage.

Family : Bellanca {Mother-In-Law}

              Tokisada {Brother-In-Law}

              Cheerilee Ickle Muse {Niece}

              Ardalys {Nephew}

              Saree {Nephew}

              Keleos {Niece}

              Shimizu Rui {Nephew}

              Kiyan {Nephew}

Wife : Tokisaki

Children : Jade {Daughter}

                Ejurua {Daughter}

                Skun {Son}

                Filigree {Daughter}

Genbu : Biromantic Deminonbinary

You can trust this man. He is by far the most loyal. He is looking for a special somebody to hold in his arms all day long.

Wife : Kiki

Children : Huanyuu {Son}

                 Lucy {Daughter}

Sonia : Dysphorasexual Demigirl

Yeah, you read that right : Sonia is a bit scared of the act. It’s probably because of that that it took the couple quite some years to even trying for a baby. But despite wanting a kid so much, Sôma was patient for his lady : anything for Sonia. 

Family : Ludwig (Mars) {Father} (deceased)

              Misha {Mother} (deceased)

              Médéa {Step-Mother} (deceased)

              Éden {Younger Half-Brother}

              Kazuma {Father-In-Law} (Deceased)

              Aria {Sister-In-Law}

              Silvushka {Niece}

              Alicia {Niece}

Husband : Sôma

Children : Corny {Son}

                 Feather {Daughter}

Seiya : Demiromantic Homocurious

It took quite some time for Seiya to fall in love too, but he will be happy with his Goddess Athéna. yes, the one and only Seiya managed to get the Saints’ Goddess as his one and only. They even raised Kôga as their son despite him not being their biological son.

Family : Seika {Older Sister}

Wife : Saori Kidou “Athéna”

Children : Kôga {Adoptive Son}

                Chronos Kidou {Son}

Ionia : Heterosexual

Purely Heterosexual, nothing more to say... Oh yeah ! He fell in love with Athéna when he saw her as a BABY ! This level of pedophilia is way more terrifying than Paradox falling in love with a teenager that is the son of the one she dreamed to marry one day. But anyways he still has a heart btw. When he killed his students because they rebelled against them, he knew his actions were horrible and he imprisonned himself and let go of his Gold Cloth (Shura was his successor and predecessor). Athéna gave him a chance though and he got his Gold Cloth and pride once again, but he doesn’t want to see her suffer anymore so... He pretty much abandoned his feelings of love too.

Wife : None (probably had at least one in his past life)

Tokisada : Polyromantic Genderfluid Abrosexual

Yes, Tokisada is one that is in a relationship with more than one person, two specifically. But the fact that he is both Abrosexual and Genderfluid probably adds some more into his relationships. He may seem a bit harsh and all, but when it comes to love, he’ll give you literally everything. In fact, his more violent personality wasn’t there before ; it came out because of a fairly dark reason. But when you get to know and befriend him, he is actually pretty wholesome.

Family : Bellanca {Mother}

              Tokisaki {Younger Sister}

              Integra {Sister-In-Law} 

              Amor {Brother-In-Law}

              Médéa {Sister-In-Law} (deceased)

              Ludwig (Mars) {Brother-In-Law} (deceased)

              Sonia {Niece-In-Law}

              Éden {Nephew-In-Law}

              Sôma {Nephew-In-Law}

              Aria {Niece-In-Law}

              Fudô {Brother-In-Law}

              Jade {Niece}

              Ejurua {Niece}

              Skun {Nephew}

              Filigree {Niece}

Wife : Paradox

Husband : Rhéa

Children : Cheerilee {Illegitimate Daughter}

                 Ardalys {Illegitimate Son ; with Amor}

                 Saree {Illegitimate Son ; with Amor}

                 Keleos {Daughter ; with Paradox}

                 Shimizu Rui {Son ; with Paradox}

                 Kiyan {Son ; with Rhéa}

Amor : Trixique Maverick

Even though he likes to tease men, Amor was always attracted to women. But Amor is just Amor, so he considers himself unique, and gifted because of his abilities he shares with his older sister Médéa. It’s probably because of that that he got twins with a Genderfluid person...

Family : Médéa {Older Sister} (deceased)

              Ludwig (Mars) {Brother-In-Law} (deceased)

              Sonia {Niece-In-Law}

              Éden {Nephew}

              Sôma {Nephew-In-Law}

              Aria {Niece-In-Law}

              Paradox {Sister-In-Law}

              Tokisada {Brother-In-Law}

              Tokisaki {Sister-In-Law}

              Fudô {Brother-In-Law}

              Parshéa {Niece}

              Cheerilee Ickle Muse {Niece}

              Keleos {Niece}

              Shimizu Rui {Nephew}

              Kiyan {Nephew}

              Jade {Niece}

              Ejurua {Niece}

              Skun {Nephew}

              Filigree {Niece}

Wife : Integra

Children : Ardalys {Illegitimate Son ; with Tokisada}

                Saree {Illegitimate Son ; with Tokisada}

                Cavalo {Son}

                Jakarta {Daughter}

[livvyofthelake]

tlh characters as pixie hollow fairies:

cordelia- TINKER BELL. her savior complex is insane… girls who are constantly getting into Situations… however in terms of aesthetics she is sooooo fira to me. dude just trust me idk

alastair- vidia core!!!! cunt realness…. could soooo do vidia in the great fairy rescue.

lucie- do y’all know my buddy prilla. anyway literally lucie is so prilla… she’s also very silvermist in a way if you want a more well known fairy

james- kinda terrence core in the sense that he’s like. ken coded. nobody fucks with ken. james is superfluous to the appeal of the last hours. etc. sorry he’s literally a main character i’m being a bit mean but like. be serious who is reading tlh and going wow james is so interesting he’s the best character here! like no one is doing that we are here for cordelia… also he’s kind of fawn core

christopher- he is sooo bobble. guy with his silly little inventions and stupid glasses…

anna- incredibly rosetta to me in the sense that she is getting sooo many bitches. rosetta obviously is like the token girly girl though which is. the opposite of anna. but just trust me that they’re like. they’re very cuntslay in the same direction

thomas- he’s giving lily… he could sooo do lily and the pesky plant. or periwinkle or iridessa maybe. idk. i’m sticking with lily!

matthew- could do do zerina of the pirate fairy fame. don’t even need to explain myself here it’s so clear so obvious so true and real

ari- rani swag!!!!! remember when she cut off her wings so she could swim with the mermaids and get that. hair comb? whatever she was getting from the mermaids that they needed to save mother dove. anyway when rani did that…. ari soooo has that swag. just trust me!!!!!

grace- vidia swag!! again. she also gives a bit of periwinkle in an aesthetic sense. and also because EYE love her…. oh what about the cunty little winter fairy debby ryan voiced… spike! yeah that’s grace

jesse- hm. somewhat fawn core. maybe a little queen clarion realness. basically he is the embodiment of calm and patience under pressure. slay!

ok hope everyone enjoyed this incredibly niche post for an audience of just myself 🫶

[mexicancat-girl]

Just finished watching The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes in theaters earlier today. I've got a lot of thoughts.

Overall the movie felt like a mixed bag, but I enjoyed it.

Spoilers below

The main characters were all worse versions of themselves in the film, minus Coriolanus (and arguably the Dean). In fact, some of the cleverness and actions that other characters had were taken and given to him instead-- like Sejanus' plan to give Marcus food.

Kind of disappointed how they rewrote Sejanus in general... They took a lot of scenes away from him and watered down his character a lot. His Ma literally got zero lines and only one cameo, despite her being a huge reason as to why Coriolanus and Sejanus are seen as such good friends in the first place.

I was still devastated by that scene with Sejanus, but the pacing and the lack of Ma (and her food) bridging the gap between Snow and him made their friendship seem even more shallow.

The pacing overall didn't do the story favors. Everything felt rushed. Lucy Gray and Snow's romance felt like it was going through a speed-run and felt even less realistic than the book. Not the biggest romance person, but they could've added a little more there. They barely kissed except for once on screen.

Pacing was rushed at the start and things felt like they dragged at the end. But I liked how the Games themselves were restructured, it all felt like it made more sense and the quickness actually helped. Plus it added to the cinematic feeling to have the games end with Lucy Gray taming the snakes with her song than dragging things out with Reaper, and Reaper got a heroic death keeping the flag over the dead tributes he laid to rest.

Uh, what else... The added scene with Gaul after Lucy Gray wins, and having the entire school chant to let her get out Lucy Gray from the Arena, was... bad. Like, awful to sit through, and not just because of how cheesy it was.

Yes, Lucy moves the people in the Capitol and entertains them with her songs. But she isn't a revolutionary figurehead. That's not the point of her character. She sings to survive, not to make people stand up and demand change, not like Katniss would in the future. (Plus, these games get wiped out from record afterwards regardless, showing how little impact Lucy Gray truly has in the world of Panem.)

I get that it's because it'll make things dramatic and cinematic, but that scene was unnecessary. Gaul is already portrayed as being cruel and disliked because of this, we don't need a school full of chanting students questioning her authority and morality to add to that.

Plus it just looks bad that we have a dark-skinned black woman be seen as the cruelest and evilest character Ever, who is someone the main character (a white man) must stand up against so she stops being So Evil and Cruel to a lighter-skinned woman of color. Viola Davis is amazing in the role, but that added scene screams misogynoir by pitting her as the ultimate evil versus white boy Coriolanus, making him a white savior in the process.

Stripping the nuance of the characters played by actors of color seems to be a running theme in this film, actually. Or hell, some of them like Clemensia disappear entirely from the film. Would've loved to see her all fucked up from the snake bite and still trying to Mentor, her dynamic with Coriolanus was great.

Overall disappointed they watered down Lucy Gray and made her less spunky, plus took away a lot of her agency during the Games, too. Lucy Gray's dialogue/way of speech is so fucking awkward for a human to say aloud, so props to Rachel Zegler doing what she could with what she's given. Love her and love Lucy Gray.

Of all the characters that survived their massacre in the movie writing, Tigress was good. I liked her, even if we didn't see the full extent of her worry and what she does to help keep her family afloat. Plus her last line in the film, telling Coriolanus he looks like his father is chilling, A++

Uhhh, another positive? I liked the music. Bluegrass is a good choice for all the songs Lucy Gray sings, and Rachel Zegler has a fantastic voice. I'll definitely keep my eye out for the soundtrack later.

Cinematography was great. The fact they went to film in Poland to get a lot of the nature scenes and the Arena was worth it, it looks gorgeous on screen. Costuming was fantastic. And all the actors playing the tributes each gave them such wonderful character and personality no matter how little screentime we got of them, they're all so talented!

I overall liked the movie and found it enjoyable to watch. But the pacing and twisting of character motivations, a lot of which was used to prop up Coriolanus further and paint him as a more charitable protagonist, soured things for me.

[mneiai]

Fic I Am Currently Working On/Plan to Continue Working On Soonish

The following is a list of the fic that I remembered to list that I am currently working on, planning on working on, or hoping to work on. A fic that does not appear here is not necessarily abandoned, but I cycle in and out of fandoms and back again with a few years between sometimes. I've also been somewhat distracted recently, so there's been a slow down in my fanfic posting.

Any new fic is posted on Tumblr, sometimes only posted on Tumblr. For older fics, I'm still working on adding them/their chapters to Tumblr.

ASOIAF and related fandoms:

A Coin Has Three Sides AO3

No-Rebellion AU. Rhaenys finds an unexpected ally in Jon when she sets herself against her step-mother Lyanna and plans to put Jon on the throne. Jon & Rhaenys & Aegon. Various background romantic/sexual ships.

Is it so far from madness to wisdom? Tumblr | AO3

ASOIAF/F&B/HOTD time travel crossover. After the War for the Dawn, Jon ends up being reborn as the newly created son of Rhea Royce and Daemon Targaryen and desperately attempts to mend bridges between the factions at play to avoid the Dance. Jon & Laenor, Jon & lots of others (but not Daemon). Various other romantic/sexual ships.

Potentiality Series Tumblr | AO3

GOT time travel AU. Jon and Daenerys wake up in the past after their deaths in a world with only two noticeable changes: Jon's alternate was Joanna and Dany's was Daeron. Trans Jon. Danaerys/Jon.

Fire in the Rain AO3

Dark Modern Westeros AU. Westeros is no longer a monarchy, but the Targaryens have never stopped coveting it. When Jon brings his girlfriend to visit his family, he's reminded of just how much they cling to the past. Jon/Sansa, Aegon/Rhaenys, various other ships.

Play the Part of Savior AO3

Time Travel AU. To stop the Long Night, Jon goes back in time to the very beginning and falls (quite literally) into the court of the mysterious Bloodstone Emperor. Sarella/Jon (past/flashbacks). Bloodstone Emperor/Jon.

Broken Pieces Floating By AO3

Reincarnation horror AU. When Ana and her friends go into a haunted house, everything starts going horribly wrong, and Ana finds herself drawn into dreams, and a potential past, involving a mysterious lover named Elia. Elia/Lyanna.

What It's Like To Burn AO3

Great Bastards AU. Aerys was what Aegon IV was not and all the Great Bastards are his. When he dies, legitimizing all of his children, Rhaegar I faces potential rebellion from his brother Daemon Blackfyre. Daemon & Jon.

A Dragon in Wolf's Clothing AO3

Soulmate AU. Jon's soulmark comes in leaving him with more questions and the Martells with answers they never asked the questions for. Eventual Oberyn/Ellaria/Jon.

-

Final Fantasy VII/VIIR

How Not To Drown AO3

Remake AU where Sephiroth dies during the Nibelheim incident. After Zack's sacrifice, Cloud goes first to Sector Five and finds a home with the Gainsboroughs. Aerith & Cloud & Elmyra. Background other ships.

Tearing Through the Seams AO3

Nibelheim AU. Shotgun rescues Cloud and Zack from the reactor before Hojo can get ahold of them and they both stay with Shinra, more aware than ever of the darkness and threats within. Cloud & Zack, Cloud & Turks.

-

Final Fantasy XIV

Halone's Favor AO3

Soulmate AU. Aymeric had been ordered to hide his soulmark and would have continued to do so, but once it was revealed, Emperor Varis offered terms too good to ignore for the recovering Ishgard. Varis/Aymeric.

-

Final Fantasy XV

The Spare AO3

Time travel AU. After sacrificing himself to defeat Ardyn, Noctis is reborn in the past as the previously non-existent younger brother of his once-father, Regis. With all the power and knowledge he had at the end of the game, he sets about remaking Lucis and his family into something better. Noctis & Basically Everyone. Nyx/Noctis, Ardyn/Noctis.

King's Hero AO3

Kingsglaive AU. Nyx and Somnus make a deal to save Noctis and save the world. Traveling together, they put together the pieces and powers needed to take down the real enemy. Nyx/Somnus.

Dig My Grave AO3

Vampire AU (inspired by Kindred: The Embraced). Noctis is the last living (mortal) descendant of the powerful vampire Somnus Lucis Caelum, who rules over Insomnia along with his brother and rival Ardyn. Ardyn/Noctis.

Lives Stretched From Sleep AO3

FFXV mixed with what we knew of Versus XIII. Not everything is as it seems in Insomnia, Regis is a darker, colder king and Noctis retreats to his dream to be educated by a dead Oracle. When a peace treaty ends in occupation by Niflheim's forces, Noctis has to unravel the past for answers.

-

Throne of Glass

Biding Time Tumblr | AO3

Dark time travel AU. The wars end, the kingdoms rebuild, but the prejudice against those born of Valg blood only deepens as Aelin's court comes to power. Dorian comes back in time bitter and cautious...and accidentally on purpose comes to the attentions of his father and Erawan in new ways. Valg!Dorian. Dorian/so many people.

-

World of Warcraft

Cut Strings AO3

Being Rewritten. BFA AU (really post-Legion AU). While certain members of the Alliance call for continued aggression against the Horde, Anduin only wants peace. Realizing there's no place for that in the current factions, he decides to rewrite everything by declaring Stormwind and all of its territories neutral. Wrathion/Anduin, Baine/Anduin, Valeera & Anduin.

No Peace, No Rest AO3

Being Rewritten. BFA AU. Sylvanas attacks Stormwind and Anduin flees to one place she can't easily follow: the Acherus. He stays to protect his people while falling more under the influence of the Death Knights and the darker, more obsessive version of his other father, Bolvar, that he's now faced with. Darion/Anduin. Bolvar & Anduin.

[adagaium]

here’s some fun ardyn things

can ardyn give the scourge yes. now he can. we see that in ep ardyn. do you get the scourge from coming in contact with ardyn no. that’s not how that works, he’s not like other carriers . the starscourge is literally magic malaria down to its scientific name ( although as a nurse i am never not amused at the fact they picked a harmless strain ), MALARIA SUCKS GUYS. malaria is spread by mosquito bites, or needle sharing, because it’s blood. 

the starscourge is spread through: bites from infected animals or bodily fluids ( namely blood products ), or miasma from dead things that were infected. YOU CANNOT GET THE STARSCOURGE FROM HAVING SEX WITH AN INFECTED PERSON, also here’s a fun fact it doesn’t spread from casual contact. it won’t spread from bumping into a daemon. the reason daemons spread the scourge is ... they also like to tear each other apart, which usually leaves them covered in the blood of other daemons, hence the blood-based spread. so people aren’t getting the scourge because ardyn bumps into them. 

quite the opposite, actually! for everything that ardyn has done in spreading the scourge by willing it ( a process of infection unique to him ), his innate ability is still to heal it. a sick person bumping into ardyn is more likely to make a miraculous recovery, because ardyn’s soul had a kneejerk reaction to being smothered by daemons — making his healing abilities involuntary. he couldn’t stop that just like we can’t stop our involuntary bodily processes. for this reason, coming into contact with people is fairly counterproductive to the goal of plunging eos into darkness. 

unfortunately for ardyn, he’s bad at not being physical with other people, not only is he horny on main ( read, touch starved actually, and he’s expressing it like this ), he’s just overly affectionate in general. the good (?) news ( for adagium, at least ) is with each daemon he pulls out of a person ( willing or not ), his power grows. so, it’s ... conflict. ardyn’s really lost control of most parts of his life and he hates that. it’s the one thing he WANTS, control, because he doesn’t want to be the pawn of the gods, he wants to do what HE wants ... which if he thinks too hard, he doesn’t know what that is. he barely knows who he is anymore, which is a whole new cause of distress. 

ardyn’s soul is still in his body, i don’t care what dawn of the future says there. ardyn’s soul never stopped being the soul of the saintly healer of eos, but it wasn’t strong enough to not be smothered by daemons. out of fear of losing himself fully, ardyn keeps journals where he’s written things down that he KNOWS are true about who he really is. 

his true name is ardyn lucis caelum ( he doesn’t remember being mithra which is sad ). 

he died at 33 in the throne room. aera died that day, too. 

he was born in solheim ( but he doesn’t remember he was technically born a deity ). 

he was engaged to aera mirus fleuret and they had two sons, but they never married due to uhhh tragedy. 

he and aera named pryna when they were young. 

his black chocobo was a female and her name was iaso. 

the first person he healed of the scourge was somnus, when he was 7 and somnus was 4. 

he and somnus liked playing chess together . 

he didn’t want the throne, he just went because if that was what it took to heal people he’d do anything.

he is the chosen savior of eos and his calling is to save lives, not to take them. 

sadly, that’s literally all ardyn actually remembers for certain about himself, his real life and true fate. everything else he has as memories are other people’s memories. he can’t even really figure out how verstael found him, he sorta just ... out of a need to be a Complete Person ... listens when people tell him shit that doesn’t conflict with the only solid memories he has. this mental vulnerability made him an excellent target for verstael, who uhhh caused a LOT of ardyn’s “new personality” to happen. that’s concerning in itself and something for another post. 

anyway, there are times where ardyn’s soul will actually try to put up a fight against the daemons and it gives him horrible headaches and throws his emotions all out of whack and usually he just hides somewhere because he doesn’t want anyone to see him so vulnerable. this erratic behavior became more frequent as days passed in the ten years where noctis was asleep in the crystal, because the daemons knew their host was going to DIE and ardyn’s real soul wanted to wrangle the daemons so he COULD rest. noctis gets to see the real ardyn when he’s dying and he asks what will happen in the future. when he dies with a smile because he thinks it’s over. 

[pinestripe37]

1, 5, 6, 7, 12, 14, 21, 23, 26, 27, and 36! (this is a TON of questions so don’t feel pressured to answer all of them XD you can pick & choose if you’d like!)

Yayy I am so excited!!

Do you have freckles?

Teeny tiny bit, not really noticeable I don't think.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Yes! I have my favorite Lucy in bed next to me lately and it's nice because she's my special soft kitty from when I was a toddler :)

I am ALSO GETTING A STUFFED MISTPAW FOR MY BIRTHDAY! :D

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

I actually don't know! :0 Because I really really enjoy both! And I'm certainly so blessed to be able to express my feelings through both! I'd say it varies based on the time. Which is also nice because I can just switch back and forth between both whenever I don't have inspiration for one. It's so wonderful that God gives us multiple gifts, and lets us serve Him in such different ways! :'D I've been writing a quite a bit lately but I have been starting to think of some art ideas so perhaps I'll be drawing shortly!

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

Two! One to cover myself with and one next to me in case I get cold. DEFINITELY NOT ZERO ZERO IS THE LEAST IDEAL NUMBER- I have so much trouble sleeping when it's hot because it feels weird to not cover myself with a blanket.

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

~ you of coursee <33 I love you friend :')

~ My irl friend who has been so wonderful to me, it's still hard to believe that I'm appreciated, y'know?

~ ahfhijkjh allll my friends really, aaahh I love my friendss :')

~ a person I've been wanting to be friends with for many years and still pray for and will forever pray for. I have faith that if it's in God's Plan someday we will meet again and someday we will be friends and someday we will hug.

~Jesus, definitely, my Lord and Shepherd and Savior and First Love. Being with Him forever in His Presence is the best and safest Place always and He's the One who Saved me and died for me and loves me most. <3

What’s your favorite color?

Mint green and/or teal! :D But really I actually find all colors beautiful, all the colors God painted His creation in are beautiful!

How was your day today?

Pretty good. :) Pretty tiring and I'm probably gonna nap soon lol. Tiring but also blessed and peaceful day, so I'm grateful for that! :')

Do you believe in aliens?

I just stick with the answer of... Only God really knows so knowing that only He knows is enough for me. Leaning not on my own understanding is the way to go with anything I don't know for sure.

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

A bunchh! :D Stuffed animals, playing with toys, a bunch of shows including Peep and the Big Wide World and Odd Squad, picture books (my mom and I both), I feel like probably a bunch of other stuff.

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

My favorite favorite Book is forever the Bible. I mean, it's God's Word and I can talk to Him and hear from Him, and He's blessed me with such amazing incredible moments in Scripture with the Guidance of the Holy Spirit, and taught me so much, and I can literally read it forever and still be amazed with a new insight from the Holy Spirit each time even after reading a passage over and over because the Word is Living and God continues to teach us through it. Such a wonderful blessing indeed!! :'D

My favorite fiction book would be.. maybe Little Women, or The Vanderbeekers of of 141st street (by Karina Yan Glaser) it's suchh a sweet series :') Ooh, and the Wingfeather Saga! Still gotta finish reading but I'm enjoying those books so much!

Do you like your middle name?

Yes! I've actually had a very interesting and lovely conversation with my friend about name meanings, recently-ish, and we figured out interpretations of my middle + first name meanings that fit my life and come from a Christian perspective, so that was fun! :D

Eeeee thank you for sending an ask, my dear friend!! :D <3

[savingthrcw]

"Most folks don't make it to even twenty out here."

"Bloatflies," she reminded him, thinking of the little talk she had given him when trying to point out she wasn't that much of an idiot if she was still alive. But the fact that they already shared one singular memory in this new Wasteland-life may have been a little more comforting if it hadn't been set five minutes after she had pulled him out of the fucking ground. "You were in a coffin," she realized, because yes, it was her dad, her dad was in a coffin and she was going to put Dom Pedro into one next, "Out of the entire Wasteland, some random idiot told me a ghoul was trapped in a box underground... How many were the chances?" Slim to none, she may not be known to be the most disgustingly cruel of monsters, but only Roy and Pat would expect her to actually go out of her way to rescue a ghoul from that kind of punishment. Everyone else at camp would simply not be terribly surprised if she stopped something annoying from happening right under her nose. All the more reasons to think no one had ever expected her to find him.

The little happy-talk time when her mother was brought up caught him off-guard, she could tell that much. He hadn't expected vitriol and she wondered what sort of relationship did he think she'd have with a Vault Tec manager who happened to be her mother.

"So you didn't stay in touch after you flew the nest, then."

It was her turn to scoff. If he turned out to be the type who was all 'forgive and forget' when there was some blood-relation, they were gonna have problems.

"...Shady Sands."

It hurt to remember how good that city had been doing, safe from raiders, an island of peace and with so much potential that maybe people would have eventually started joining in, because it was an easier life and people liked easy.

She didn't have time to answer his next question - no, the bomb wasn't for her - that he was throwing up, and she did what she thought a daughter should do, which was rubbing his back encouragingly, which as far as she could tell served no purpose except for 'being there' for someone who was sick. It's not as if he had long hair she had to hold back, after all.

"No. Yeah. It was the good one. D'you ever visit the one where they impregnated women with monsters?" They hailed Lee as some sort of savior, but apart from that now that Vault-Tec had been eliminated from it it was a good place, yet Janey thought it might be one of the worst Vaults of all. Even the ones where people got turned into Ghouls or super mutants were better, at least the person they were before was dead. In hers, she'd get impregnated by a man, so it was definitely better, if still disgusting.

"Look, I'm... I'm sorry, I don't really know how to talk to people, I don't usually... Roy does this. The talking. He gets..." she paused and made a face when forced to used the word: "emotions, and sh-stuff. I'm not good at that. Haven't had to worry about that sort of thing for a very long time." She did wonder who she'd be now, just how much more well-adjusted even if surface standards she'd be, if Rose had lived.

"But the bomb wasn't for me. It was for the woman. The... woman who took me away, she was... she was good," her tone once again softened, as it always did for her, "She was... Well. She was married to the Overseer. We found Shady Sands, found Lee... Lee Moldaver, I mean, that's the one who helped me after the bomb. And then... the fucking Overseer came. Hank MacLean." She couldn't have hated the man more, he was the literal representation of why her Vault was still a nightmare, why 32 and 33 were nothing but objects. "Took her kids... Lucy, Norman, but couldn't make his wife agree to come back. So he nuked the city." She closed her eyes, remembering the second time she had seen the cloud. "Lee and I were out, hunting, but Rose was right in the middle of it. World's full of spouses who'd rather kill their ex and screw over the kids than just let them be. Should put that in the company logo." For all her bitterness, she had felt a heartbreak over Rose's death that even twenty years away couldn't make go away. Especially when knowing her children must have been fed lies, and unlike her they'd believe them.

"None of this is your fault. You are... Everything you've done for me... you have no idea of what it meant to me. I know I'm a freaking raider. You'd probably rather I was dead than something like that, but, seriously, I'm not... It's not as bad as it looks. I'm not good, but, shit, I'm not Dom Pedro."

"I'm thirty-four now. I've been out here for almost twenty years, I could've... could've found you. I could have..."

His knee still tingled with residual warmth from.the point of contact. A reminder that she was real, what was happening right now was real, and she was alive.

The bodies scattered around them and the dull ache of the stump where his trigger finger had been were a reminder of how easily this complete chance discovery could have never happened.

"I didn't even entertain the idea that you could be alive. Which is fucki-stupid, because I literally had a woman from our time take care of me."

It was surreal, hearing his long lost daughter almost swear in front of him and curb herself. As if he was in any position to rebuke her over something as trivial as polite language now, after the world had fucking ended, he'd turned into a monster, and she'd grown up without him. He'd been out of her life a hell of a lot longer than he'd ever been in it. She had no reason to still see him as any kind of parental authority or modify her behaviour out of respect for long-desd principles he'd instilled in another, more civilized life.

It still weirdly warmed his heart.

Or maybe that was just the truly obscene amount of chems and booze still blazing through his system.

"If she made it, and she wasn't in a Vault Tec facility, I could have at least thought you'd have found some other way too."

"Two hundred years 's a long time," he muttered simply, gaze drifting over towards one of the nearby dead ferals. How many years had she lasted, before she'd turned?

"Most folks don't make it to even twenty out here."

Ghouls had an edge because they aged slow, sure - and there were other pre-war ones out there. But he hadn't met any that could still make conversation this far down the line.

He was still quietly reeling over the concept. Twenty years. Twenty years, fuck, she'd have still been a child -

Keep it together.

"And yet we did. I did twice. Saw another nuke not long after,"

...What?!

A flicker of something dangerously close to horrified alarm crossed his features; The Ghoul hastily tried to shove the surge of emotion down. He felt like he was starting to fray apart, like this stranger with his daughter's memories had reached inside and pulled something important loose to unravel.

His gloved hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, fidgeting restlessly while she sawed away at the rope; the only indicator of the storm raging behind his pensive thousand yard stare as he grappled to keep his damn shit together.

"I grabbed a kid-the less dumb one of those two, and made a run for it again. Not looking forward to the third."

A half-stifled snort left him, in spite of himself, the sound falling somewhere between semi-hysterical disbelief and morbid amusement at the blasé way she spoke about it - at the way the apple clearly hadn't fallen that far from the tree, despite all this time and how unrecognisable they both now were to what they'd once been.

He felt vaguely nausous and light-headed. Whether that was from the concussion or the drugs or the absolutely batshit insane bombshells being dropped on him was anyone's guess. Maybe it was a combination of all three.

The Ghoul twitched as the final bindings came free and some of his circulation returned, but otherwise remained where he was, half-slumped back against the trolley. He stiffened reflexively when Janey leaned in, eyeing her hands as she reached up to place his hat back on his head with a smile - a move that was so heartbreakingly familiar and yet so alien that he momentarily forgot how to breathe.

"There you are."

The broad brim of his hat was a welcome refuge, helping to conceal his raw expression by the simple displacement act of looking downwards and readjusting his gloves.

He had no fucking clue how to handle this situation, or all the feelings and memories it was dredging up - things that had been buried long ago, along with his name and identity and all the foolish fucking moral principles that had been used against him over and over again. The bleed-through was disorienting and unsettling. He didn't know how to be Cooper Howard any more. He couldn't stay fully in character as The Ghoul in the face of his daughter either.

This was really not helping his headache.

At his question, Janey's smile vanished, an abrupt stormy scowl replacing it. It was an uncannily familiar expression.

"If there was any justice in this world she'd be long dead, but given that she's the fucking devil, I'm assuming she's ruling hell and the Vaults as we speak."

The Ghoul arched his bare brows at her, visibly disarmed by the depth of acrimonious anger in Janey's voice. Sure, Cooper's own relationship with Barb had gone down in some pretty bitter flames, especially with the divorce proceedings - but the one thing they'd seemed to agree on was keeping Janey happy (although their methods on that had definitely differed.)

For all the bad things he could have called his ex-wife, a bad mother had never been one of them. Even when the love between them had soured with the lies and the secrets and the eroded trust, the relationship between her and their daughter had still seemed solid enough, and he'd never had reason to doubt her love for Janey.

What the hell had Barb done to alienate her so badly?

"So you didn't stay in touch after you flew the nest, then," he inferred dryly, mulling over the possible causes for this shift in attitude.

With Barb, there had always been secrets. Things going on under the table. Subtle manipulative ploys that you didn’t even realise until after you'd already fallen for them. Everything was perfect until you looked too closely and started asking questions, until you stopped doing as you were supposed to and challenged her control.

By the sounds of it, that probably hadn't changed much.

"...What'd you find out?"

This time, it was Janey who looked away. From her expression, it must have been pretty bad.

...Did it have anything to do with that second nuke she'd mentioned having to run from?

The Ghoul felt an awful chill settle in his veins as he listened to Janey's explanation.

Cryo. Experiment. Fleeing. Nuke.

...Oh, fuck.

"...Shady Sands." He'd heard about the city getting turned into a crater. Had been quite literally in a box underground when it happened, of course, so he hadn't yet seen the extent of the damage for himself.

"That was meant to kill you?"

Had Vault Tec really nuked a city just to deal with some runaway loose ends? Given that they'd most likely dropped the bombs that ended the world themselves just to try and secure their monopoly on the future of humanity, one surface city outside of Vault Tec'a control was hardly going to be too much collateral.

But the concept that Barb could have really greenlit - or at least not contested - the decision to kill her own daughter was a a different and much more personal atrocity.

The shock of it felt muted, somehow. Probably because it was like the fifth shocking thing he'd learned today, and his head was a buzzing static cloud of cottonballs mixed in with lots of tiny angry hammers.

The nausea swelled. He turned to the side abruptly and retched, spilling the contents of his stomach onto the floor. On the up side, he felt marginally more sober afterwards. On the down side, he was really making a fucking awful impression on his long-lost daughter here, and part of him was dying inside about it.

"...You were s'posed to be safe," he rasped out, unsteadily wiping off his mouth with the back of a gloved hand. There was an awful tightness in his chest, and he was vaguely aware that he was shaking.

"S'posed to be in one of the good vaults."

Fuck, he'd basically handed her over to Barb on the assumption that his ex wife had secured that much for them, with all her ruthless networking and sales pitching.

"I.. I didn’t know. I'm sorry."

@savingthrcw

[aikofanfan]

Muzzled part 1

[Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan and Satan]

Part 2

Summary: Protective and feral MC is all fun n games until they get hurt so everyone comes together to create a special muzzle to help them calm down. But soon learn they liked that side of MC way more than thought

A/N: I guess a continuation of this little series cuz why not. To the Nonny that joking or not said my take on MC needed a muzzle- hope ya like this.

Warnings: Some suggestive themes in Levi’s part cuz we all know he likes a mean MC lol.

Now on with the show!

“How does it feel?” Solomon asks. You roll your shoulders before feeling the muzzle that has been clipped in place.

“Weird but fine otherwise.” You answer.

“Okay. Now how do you feel?” He asks. You think for a moment. This sense of calm and level headed ness washes over you and sigh.

“Oddly calm.” You finally answer.

“Good! That means it works.” Your mentor grins. “No more fights for you then.”

“Hm. I suppose so.” You hum with a shrug.

However after a week with the muzzle the brothers soon realized how much they liked you being feral and angry.

~~~~

Lucifer

“Go to class! I better not catch you harming them again!” Lucifer hisses and scares off some students that had ganged up on you after shoving you into the lockers. “MC are you alright?”

“Oh I’m fine. Could’ve done without being smacked into the lockers but what can ya do?” You shrugged it off so easily as you crouch down and pick up some notebooks and pencils you had dropped from being pushed.

This was…strange. He was so use to you getting angry and battling your own fights instead of just standing there and letting it happen, waiting for him or one of his brothers to come save you.

He is quickly realizing he does not like this version of you. When you stand back up, he glances at the muzzle around your mouth and narrows his eyes.

No he shouldn’t. This was for the best right? You’d stop getting bloody and bruised. But at the same time you’ve become a target for vengeful demons.

He should think this over more. Yes. Think it over.

He doesn’t like it. Not at all.

Lucifer watches from a distance as you’re being picked on again after school was over. He knows the issue now.

He missed the power you held over these lower dirt demons. You had come along way from all those years ago when you first arrived in the Devildom.

Having enough of this, he marches over and stops just behind you.

“Ah the buzz kill savior is here.” One of the students groans.

“Oh hey.” You greet, about to turn around but Lucifer stops you. Making sure you stay facing the demons. “Lucifer?”

“Try not to make a mess.”

That was the only warning you got.

Click!

Clang!

“Oh shit.” A different student in the group gasps as they all start to back away.

You blink and slowly raise a hand up, running your fingers over you mouth and look down at the muzzle on the ground.

“Luci, darling. Are you sure?” You ask, glancing over your shoulder.

“Positive.” He says with that sadistic grin you fell in love with. You roll your shoulders, crack your neck a few times before your eyes shine a very familiar wrath green.

“Now remind me. Which one of you shoved me into the lockers?” You ask calmly. They all point fingers and scream when you charge at them.

“There’s my MC.” Lucifer sighs as he watches you chase the demons down one by one.

~~~~~~

Mammon

“What do ya mean they stole your money??!” Mammon gawks at you.

“They demanded I give them all the Grimm I had on me, when I said no they pinned me to the wall and forced me to give it to them.” You explain again with a shrug. “So I’m not eating today.”

“Like hell you aren’t!” Mammon gets up quickly and goes back into the lunch line. After awhile he comes back and hands you some backstabbing sandwiches. “Why didn’t you put up a fight?”

You lift up the muzzle around your mouth enough to eat and just point at it as you chew.

Ah right. You literally can’t fight back.

“Hey it’s better than getting into a fight right?” You ask. “I’m not hurt.”

“But ya need to eat, dummy.” Mammon huffs. It was true you haven’t gotten into fights and aren’t getting hurt like before but being pushed around again like when you first came to the Devildom wasn’t any better. He gets snapped out of his thoughts when he hears footsteps approaching the table the two of you were sitting at.

“See I knew you were just a pet!” A student laughs when he gets closer. “Needed your master to feed you huh??”

“Oi! They aren’t a pet!” Mammon snaps and stands up, only for you to yank him back down.

“It’s true. I’m not.” You agreed but much calmer.

“Really now?” A girl with the guy sneers. “Seems to me you are. He had to feed you cuz you got no Grimm.”

“That’s because of you.” You point out. The girl laughs and pulls out a small pouch full of Grimm and shakes it in your face then pulls it back when you try to grab it.

“Daaawww look at the little pet trying to take a treat.” The guy laughs.

Mammon can feel his blood boiling. You were better than this! They’re only doing this because of the muzzle!

He looks down at the muzzle and thinks for a moment…..

“To hell with this!” Mammon snaps. Before you can ask what he meant, you feel the muzzle slip off your face and fall into your lap. Mammon takes it and waits.

“So what! The little pet doesn’t have their muzzle on anymore. Big deal!” The demon girl snorts. You stand up and walk up to her, the green in your eyes reflecting off her own as she stares up at you.

“Give.” You simply say and hold a hand out. She drops the pouch of Grimm in your hand without a word.

“Good girl. Now fuck off.” You hiss and the two run away. You turn back to Mammon and was about to ask something but don’t.

“Why are you blushing so hard?”

“Shuddaup!”

~~~~~

Leviathan

Levi missed the…feral side of you after day one. Don’t get him wrong the muzzle was um…okay no comment.

He missed how you growled at people when they so much as looked at him the wrong way.

He missed that intimidating aura that covered you.

He knows that muzzle is supposed to help keep you out of trouble since you always got hurt but…

“You’re staring holes into me, Levi. What’s up?”

Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts and brings him back into the present.

“Ah nothing.” He quickly says. You don’t buy it but don’t pry either. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.

That moment would be while you two were chilling and cuddling in your bed.

“So about earlier…” he began and you could see the red forming on his face.

“When you were staring at me so hard I thought you could see my soul?” You ask. He just buried his face into your shoulder.

“Yeah that…I guess….I guess I just miss how mean and protective you get when you get angry.” He explains. “How much power you held over your old bullies.”

You think for a moment and don’t reply right away. Then you move to hover over him, hands on either sides of his head.

“Levi you can’t lie to save your life.” You state. “You miss the power I had over you, don’t you?”

Him becoming red like a tomato told you everything you needed to know.

“N-No! It’s not like that I uh-” he squirms a little under you and you just watch. “I…okay maybe a little…”

You snicker and then stop when he reaches up then feeling him unclip the muzzle and pull it off.

“Just…don’t tell the others okay?” He whispers and sets the muzzle off to the side.

“My my. Has my little Levi-Chan gotten bolder without me knowing~?” You purr with that wicked grin Levi loves but would never admit. If he doesn’t die from being flustered by the end of this, the ambush of kisses and bites will. “Next time I see those jackasses from earlier today I’m gonna rip em to shreds.”

Levi shivers under you when you let out that-almost animalistic growl. He remembers who you’re talking about and ooohhh he should not be getting this excited.

~~~~~

Satan

He’s not sure what he misses more. You scaring the living soul out of anyone that crosses you or feeling the energy of your anger flowing through him.

“You’re pouting.” You poke his cheek and brings Satan out of his thoughts.

“I am not.” He retorts.

“Are soooooo.” You sang. “What’s up?”

Satan looks at you for a moment and you take note to how his eyes flick down and stare at the muzzle for a moment before he looks away.

Ah so that’s it.

“You miss feeling my anger huh?” You ask and the brief blush on his face said a thousand words.

“Perhaps but this is for the better. You’ve been getting hurt less.” Satan argues. You didn’t by it one bit.

“Mm true.” You hum.

This was….

“Horrible.” Satan mutters as he watches you “argue” with someone in the book store. The lady was getting loud and shoving you and all you did was brush her hand away and talk in this monotone voice. He blows his bangs out of his face and walks over behind you.

“I don’t have to respect shit! So what if he’s the avatar of wrath?? He’s just a copy of Lucifer!” The lady snaps and it was at that moment Satan took of the muzzle off you and grins as he feels your anger run through him.

Your eyes flare up green and you get right into the lady’s face.

“He is not a copy of Lucifer! He is Satan. Avatar of Wrath, and you will respect him as such or you’re gonna have to deal with ME!” You growl, forehead pressing into her’s with your teeth bared. Growling like some feral cat.

Never had Satan seen a demon back down so fast.

“Apologize.” You order. The lady walks over to Satan and mutters a soft “sorry” before running out the store. It was after that you noticed Satan holding the muzzle.

“Much better.” He sighs. “Look I know this helped keep you out of trouble but honestly. I know you can hold your own.”