#luckily purshee in my mind almost exclusively lives in fix-it aus and as such is just happy bean with no bad thoughts

[bolithesenate]

purshee and monster for the ask game?

ooooh that's a fun one 👀

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

Purshee during her time in the Order was as much of a perfect Archivist as one could be. Sure, that meant sometimes scraing some younglings or padawans into returning certain overdue datapads or holocrons, but nothing that would have gotten her the title *monster*.

After O66 however, with the path she embarked on and the duty she had, there were moments where she was confronted with the consequences of her own choices.

especially one choice, haunts her. and she sometimes doubts herself, her morals, her qualification as a Knight of the Order for having chosen as she did

After O66 had hit, eventually there came the all-clear.

Purshee knew from the first moment on that it was fake. That it must have been a trap. Because she didn't recieve the special all-clear intended for the Guardians of Knowledge.

if the all-clear had been real, there was no way it wouldn't have been sent.

So Purshee knew that it was fake and she knew that others would fall for it. And yet she didn't warn anyone because she chose her duty to the Order as an idea, as a concept, over her duty to her living siblings.

She could not risk giving away her location. She would not do it.

That apathy, to her, sometimes seems monstrous. Especially after the destruction of the Empire when she returns to find out exactly just how few Jedi ever survived those twenty-odd years. She cannot help but blame herself for at least a fraction of it.

How many lives had she damned in exchange for the records of one lightsaber form?

Purshee has never been called a monster by anyone but her own conscience, but that doesn't make it any easier.