#luckily its a small wedding lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

melforbes · 5 years ago

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what's been your favorite part of writing seaglass blue? is there a part in particular that you couldn't wait to write? is there one you were avoiding?

to be honest i am 100% flying by the seat of my pants with this which right now is out of character so i haven’t exactly gotten to the dreaded parts yet lmao

i have an ending in mind (and a final line) that i really like but that i have a gut feeling no one else will like but i’m not compromising with it and i’m a little nervous to post that eventually. i’m not nervous about writing it but i don’t think it will necessarily come across well. Like it feels a little end of the sopranos but also it’s not like that at all but it’s the same existential vibe if that makes sense. which it doesn’t at all. but still

i actively avoid dialogue because it’s not my strong suit. i also can’t get the Mulder Voice right (deadpan snark etc) and then throwing in Big Feelings i’m just so out of my element

so far i shockingly haven’t dreaded writing any part of it. i did end up blocked with this last chapter because i hadn’t entirely decided what to do with the plot and the plot i’d thought through and didn’t actually use (and lmao have since forgotten!) just was not working at all so i didn’t write and instead did the whole running in circles thinking it through thing that isn’t writing (i recommend reading atomic habits by james clear ahaha! that running in circles motion gets a massive drag in there) that ultimately was never fruitful AND EITHER WAY i started a new drug for the other side of my life and it gave me wicked insomnia and at two am everything righted itself so i finally figured out where i was going. But that being said i never really dreaded it even though i oftentimes dread a scene or two in most chapters i write and i think the lack of dread comes from how it’s all set up in a very cozy way and it’s hard to dread something like that

i couldn’t wait to write the wedding which is why i dive into it so quickly. And i really wanted to interject parts of their “wedding night” or afternoon or whatever because those were my favorite moments to visualize. there’s another part down the line that i can’t wait to write but i also can’t spoil that haha. i think like...the most anticipated stuff i have coming up for the next chapter (or maybe the one after that depending on how the wordcount shakes out) is a specific conversation about specific things that happens in the dark. and uh i will not elaborate beyond that aldskjasldkjfdalsgj

my favorite part of writing it. this answer is so disjointed i’m sorry. i’ll put the rest of this under a cut because i’m rambling ahaha

my favorite part of writing it has been like...i think this is a multitude of things which is why i wrote msr again after a long unintentional break from it. idk if i ever really mentioned this (or at least if i mentioned it recently) but i started writing msr here in mid 2016 to rekindle my passion for writing while i was very very ill long term, and that culminated in the “everyday msr” archive i have on my ao3, which thus was a log of self-comfort in hard times as well as (unintentionally) documentation of how i neurologically healed during that treatment. so, bizarre. i was in a hard place back then and writing helped me keep my head screwed on straight, and luckily with msr you can write the shittiest things and someone will still be genuinely happy to read it and will look past any lack of talent or training or experience or anything and instead see you, someone having an idea and offering it to others, sharing something for the sake of feeling something good together. that (combined with my own personal gratification of having done something) really helped me emotionally during that time. like when you can’t be of service to anyone in the world, barely even to yourself, it’s really reassuring to hear “i was having a hard day today and this small thing you did eased me” and know that they didn’t need quality or exceptional talent; they just needed you to show up. i’m getting off topic but all of this is a roundabout way to say that i’m essentially back in that same place right now and have been for the past little over a year and like. It’s bullshit ahaha. like it’s absolute bullshit. But it’s strangely valuable to have this like...same connection as i had last time, just in a bit of a different way. it’s still msr, it’s still a kind of Happy Place for me, but there’s an overarching plot, i have other stuff that i write too, etc. but still, i appreciate being able to go back to an original comfort and form that comfort in the same way. the “everyday msr” stuff was intended to be just extended written-out headcanons about domestic msr post iwtb or post revival #1 that i could write in one sitting, and this isn’t entirely different from that; it’s just that the domesticity has a twist and a different era. but it’s the same stuff as before - pictures of misty places, gentle music, living based on the season, being a homebody, cooking for your lover, natural beauty. it’s nice to return to that place right now

another favorite part of writing this is that maine was an important part of my childhood. my family spent a week of vacation there each year (outside of bar harbor, not on mdi but right outside of it) and i kind of associate that purity with it. it feels like one of the only elements of childhood that i haven’t found adulthood corrupting. like we learn that disneyland is just a capitalist hellhole and whatnot when we’re older but maine hasn’t been ruined for me yet and i treasure that. And having them there feels special as a result. i very much on purpose didn’t label a town they’re in (or even base where they are on a real one lol all of that is glossed over enough anyway that i’m not worried about it) but it felt important and right for them to be in maine. it feels special to tap into the very brief time that i shared with the show while i was still a part of its cultural landscape. that sentence makes no sense. in other words i was born in 1997 ahaha. but either way like...i get to people this place that is already special to me and give them love and safety within it and that feels good in a way that i’m struggling to describe. And also i could go on some stupid rant about how Cell Phones Hurt Our Social Circles or whatever but i do genuinely miss rental houses that got 10 blurry channels on rabbit-eared tin foil televisions in a day and age when you normally got way more than that, all while you’re in an era in which boredom is still normal enough that all of that means “well, no tv for this week i guess!” and then you play a board game instead. it feels good to voluntarily create a place like that, then ask in my own life, why don’t i just live like this? And then to struggle through plotting something because there’s no digital numbing with television and smartphones and whatnot, and to understand my own hesitation, and to explore that a little more whether or not it’s in writing

another favorite part (yes i will in fact keep going!) is that the writing style is a little bit atypical from my current norm which allows me certain freedoms that i haven’t really opted for in a while. on the off chance that anyone has read any of my other recent stuff (though this is...a very small chance ahaha) it’s clear that these chapters are much shorter and less prose-heavy than my other stuff is, and that’s really helpful in that editing it is much simpler and writing it happens much quicker. if life were predictable and i had better self-discipline (and better health! can’t discount that one haha) then i could easily get a chapter out every weeks, in comparison to other stuff that i updated once every three months. i’m trying to keep each chapter to being about 3k in length (which they seem to naturally tend toward anyways, i didn’t create that metric so much as just went along with it) and there aren’t frequent “flashback sequences” (there are callbacks and past things brought up, but they’re not significant portions of chapters that go back and forth in timelines and make a nonlinear plot, the linear plot dominates and each scene is more or less in chronological order even if there are callbacks) so i’m not too worried about pacing or structure or anything like that. i never set out to make it “simple” i think it reads better this way and i appreciate that a lot because i can take a break from other stuff that’s a bit more jagged and just do this instead. it’s also nice to write something that i feel is more on the readable side than other things. i think my biggest inspirations for this (which i realized accidentally with the “he wants to brush her hair” line ahaha) were our souls at night and the sunlit night, both of which have a kind of dainty prose style and are a little low on long descriptions but can say a lot with one simple sentence. recently i’ve focused a lot more about darker subject matter and uglier parts of humanity so it’s nice to be able to focus on something that i feel like matters and has a more readable quality to it without actually sacrificing anything in the process or trying to dumb something down

so i think that’s it! that’s my thoughts! this is too long and far too personal! haha!

#Anonymous

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ollypopwrites · 4 years ago

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Hiiii I’m back again

I’m ok. End of semester stressed. Killer headache today which killed my work grove so now I’m in pain and stressed that I’m not working but if I work I’ll feel worse. Vicious cycle.

Also I saw your bridesmaid post and lemme tell you I FEEL that. Like I love and appreciate it, but also pls can we make it less expensive?!?!? I’ve seen people finding bridesmaid dresses second hand bc who wears them again which is a 10/10 idea to be like “for $30 I’ll give you this dress I wore to a wedding once and never will wear again” and the just alter it. Game changer. But I felt your post on a SPIRITUAL level

-💛

Oh I feel the end of semester insanity, I have so many projects that I need to juggle right now and so many life things I also need to take care of omg. You gotta take care of yourself, tho. Nurse that headache so you can get back to work, don’t push yourself too hard!

ITS SO MUCH. Like all my friends are having small weddings cuz that’s all they can afford, but my best friend had hers two years ago at Disneyland so I had to pay for dress, hair, make up, hotel AND Disneyland tickets. My other friend decided to push her wedding up to this summer and just do a really small one but it’s 7hours away, I need a dress and all this other stuff. Luckily hers is actually small and budget friendly so I don’t imagine I’ll pay more that $100 for a dress but YEESH. It’s so much??? Not to mention both of these weddings are so small I’m the only bridesmaid. No other maid of honor or wedding party just me so it’s like I am so honored but THE PRESSURE. But I love them both very much so it’s honestly okay, I’m just in need of a good vent lmao.

#💛 anon #Olly responds

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wanna-17 · 7 years ago

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joshua highschool!au

summary: you and joshua hong were strangers at a tutoring academy but what happens when he moves to your school and you guys bond over music and small cute moments?

genre: fluff, slice of life, semi-real life

style: bullet-point

length: 4.4k

a/n: so this is something i’ve wanted to write for a while because it’s actually semi real life (not me ofc i cry someone i know) and i think their story is super cute. i’ve made some alternatives e.g. in real life it’s a church/school setting but because i’m posting on tumblr i decided to change it to a tutoring academy/school setting. but do let me know if you want a version of the original setting :) also this ended up being really really long (mainly bc i know like a lot of exact details and wanted to include as much as i can) and im unsure if you guys like my writing style but im hoping to improve more over time as i hopefully write more bullet point styled scenarios :)

so you’ve been going to this tutoring academy for a while and you go like once a week

you actually look forward to tutoring bc u were actually put in a really good class where everyone is friends and even have a group chat for memes

anyways theres this guy called joshua who sits at the back

and hes like the most handsome guy in the class and all the girls /not so/ secretly fawn over him

and like there are loads of rumours about him which claim that he opened his own lil company that makes apps and stuff which earns him $$$ at the age of 12 and how he like used a drone to capture the whole of his relatives wedding and how he like mastered 3 instruments and is a tech genius and on top of that really smart

which you obviously dont believe because thats not even human ??

anyways you do admit he’s sort of ok-above-average lookswise but u aint that shallow because he has a bad personality and you just hate him

but you have evidence for hating him !!

one time you accidentally walked into him verbally being mean to this other poor guy

so you naturally just assumed he was a bully and had a bad impression of him

you thought he was a prideful annoying rude and horrible person

and you just dont understand the hype about him at the tutoring academy

like they literally give out flyers with his face on it ?? umm ?? what marketing purposes lmao

anyways one day at tutor

your friend kyulkyung is like omg did u hear joshua is transferring to our school next year hdkhfaaku

kyulkyung is highkey a fangirl of him and always tries to talk you into him being a lil angel and nice person but you just snort lol

anyways you obviously dont care that he’s going to your school next year so you just shrug whatever

later that night when u get home u get a friend request on facebook from...dun dun DUNNNN what a surprise joshua hong

and you’re kinda like well ok ?? no harm in accepting a friend request

you accidentally click on his name too and think oh well might as well stalk him a bit

and damn his fb profile is super interesting bc he actually posts a lot but its not like dumb stuff boys usually post about video games

but like cute family pictures of him and his lil bro and you’re like this boy is family oriented i LIKE

then you suddenly come across a video...of this guy from your tutor...on kids masterchef

so u watch it and its the cutest thing ever

lil joshua stirring an egg and trying to make an omelet hehehe

and omg apparently he made it to the semi finals of KIDS MASTERCHEF???

you keep scrolling down and thats when u come across the evidence of him opening up his company with an app and tech jazz and u r like is this guy even rEALL

you’re still doubtful tbh so u go the appstore and type in his app and it comes up...even with CREATOR OF XX APP: JOSHUA HONG ???? you literally fall off ur chair bc wow

he cooks, he makes apps, he’s family oriented..that is all i need in a man HA HA

so next time at tutor u see him ur lowkey like the other girls staring at him bc wow he seems decent all of a sudden lol

ur other tutor friends are like: u r so lucky y/n josh’s gonna be at ur school

and ur kinda thinking maybe i should befriend him now cos he’ll defs be super popular at school

but tbh this fawning literally stops after 2 days and you go back to reality and focus on ur studies and all that

well as for joshua he doesnt really know u too to him ur that cute girl from tutor nothing much

fast forward to the next year ~

you kinda fully forget that josh is even coming

so the first school day back is all nice and chill and u get to ur fave class music heheh

you love music bc it really helps u concentrate and you also play clarinet and piano and love it

you’re also topping the class and sometimes you think you wouldn’t mind being a music teacher

so in music u take a seat next to your friend seungkwan who has power vocals and plays trumpet and when he sings at school performances you always accompany him as a pianist with woozi on drums

you and suengkwan are just chatting and catching up about holidays

when the teacher walks in followed by a student and you see that its joshua

and you’re like thinking o crap this is really awks i should hide

before u can do any of that tho he kinda makes a beeline for you and takes the seat next to u cos he only knows u in the class haha

and you’re literally looking the other way and u pretend u dont notice him take a seat next to u and you’re overly engaged in conversation with seungkwan

but seungkwan being the lovely and outgoing kid notices joshua and is like: hey!! are u new dont think ive seen u before

seungkwan is friends with everyone and everyone loves him back

joshua: uhh yeah i’m new

and seungkwan is super excited and like welcome!! i’m seungkwan and he sticks his hand out and is like and ur name is?

joshua is like i’m joshua

and seungkwan is like oh btw this is y/n

and it gets super awks cos u guys know of each others existence but maybe have talked like once when he had to pass u a bag of chips at tutor and u were like thank u

and seungkwan senses something and eyes you guys back and forth

after 837491 decades josh breaks the silence and is like hello y/n in a really meek voice

and you awkwardly smile and say hi

luckily class starts and the teacher introduces joshua to the class and asks him what instruments he plays

and the rumours prove to be true - he plays 3 instruments piano guitar and flute the real life guy cant play piano lmao

teacher asks him to demonstrate with the instrument hes most confident in

and so he starts playing the guitar to the tune of fireflies by owl city and also shyly starts singing to the lyrics check out how cute joshua is playing fireflies on his guitar here IM sOFTTT

and everyone is in awe at how good he is

and you lowkey feel your heart rate increase bc boi you love guys that play guitar and sing well

the way he sings is very gentle and sweet and the way he strums the guitar with his long fingers and how his eyes are full of gentle passion just makes you sWOOON

and somehow the way he sings with his emotions poured in just really touches your heart

after his performance everyone starts clapping and some girls even stand up and cheer lmao

he gets back to his seat and seungkwan gives him two thumbs up and says: bro are you kimbap kidding you were great you really should play guitar for me next time i sing

thanks says joshua bashfully and he kinda looks over to you with a hopeful look as if hoping you’d say something too

so you’re quickly like: yeah you were really good :)

josh: thanks y/n

anyways the teacher shushes everyone and is like: let me announce your first assignment! it’ll be in groups of 4 and it’ll be a cover of a pop song of your choice which you’d have to arrange yourselves. if you need help, you are welcome to ask other classmates that have experience in arranging or to ask me

whenver its group work you and seungkwan always join woozi

woozi comes over to you guys

and then both woozi and seungkwan are like to joshua: wanna join our group pls

and so joshua joins your group

and everyone else in class is jealous lmao because u 4 are definitely the top group with all the musical geniuses

ur kinda happy that joshua joined ur group bc he’s really good at guitar

and so u guys decide that u will do keyboard, joshua on guitar, woozi on drums and seungkwan on vocals

and y’all learn that joshua knows how to hack into arranging music programs for free

and woozi is like: WHAT MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE????

also shows u guys that infamous app you made and he has some secret code so u guys can download it for free instead of buying it for $15

ur group actually gets along really well and has good dynamics bc everyone has great ideas on what songs to do and how to do it and stuff

and its actually really fun with them even though you’re still awkward around joshua for no reason and he’s kinda shy too lmao

joshua suggests doing “breakeven” by the script

and u have a fangirl moment bc u love the script and everyone agrees that its a great song choice :)

anyways one day you guys decide to meet after school to practice and to refine the arranged piece which joshua and woozi did

BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON seungkwan can’t make it anymore bc he has to babysit his little brothers and woozi has a student council meeting

so its just you and joshua

and you two have never been like alone before like during group practice you guys make small conversation when the other two there and its all good and sweet but this was gonna be AWKWARD

anyways so you try to initiate conversation by asking how he’s finding the new school

and he just gives a short answer: pretty ok

and it becomes you two just asking each simple questions and giving short replies

but its only when you he asks you how you started getting into music that the conversation really starts going somewhere because your eyes light up while talking about music and so does hie eyes

and you guys talk about how classical music is so under-appreciated these days and how mozart is a music legend and just the beauty of music etc. etc.

and in no time its getting really dark and you both have to head home

you guys walk to the bus stop and he gets on your bus

and you’re like: hey i don’t think i’ve seen you catch this bus before?

joshua: yeah, but this bus also takes me home there are two buses that stop near my home!

you: oh ok cool

from that day on you and joshua actually got super close due to both your love for music

you guys always practiced together with seungkwan and woozi even when the group performance was over (and your group topped and got A+!!!!!!!!)

you also encouraged joshua to join the school band club which seungkwan and woozi were also part of

you literally baited him in because the school band club was going on tour to europe next year to get some sick masterclass training and perform at famous places in austria

so he basically joined so he could go to europe ;)))))) HEHEH

and even though you guys have different friend groups you guys sat near each other in the classes you shared, went to band club every monday morning at like 7am and also sometimes grabbed food together before tutoring

this was when literally EVERYONE at tutoring and school started shipping u two together and you’d get embarrassed and joshua wouldn’t really say much either

and to be honest deep in your heart you thought joshua was the ideal boyfriend but you had a rule where you weren’t gonna date in high school bc you wanted to focus on studies and you thought that high school relationships dont last and that they were pointless

and you’ve never really had a crush before so you’re super clueless lmao

one time students in ur music class volunteered to busk on the streets and you thought it’ll be fine so u and ur squad (josh, seungkwan and woozi) all signed up for it ^^

BUT when the day came around, woozi had a really bad fever and couldn’t get out of bed and seungkwan’s mum had to show up to work so seungkwan had to babysit his little brothers again

and so the busking was at school ..,,, except when u got to school the gates were locked AND it literally started pouring

you regretted not agreeing to your mum driving u bc u were a good daughter and didn’t want to bother her when it was her birthday

you also regretted not bringing an umbrella with u as u didn't want to miss ur bus

and so there you were soaking wet in the rain on a saturday morning not pleasant

you didn't know what to do and none of your gal friends were busking and u didn't want to bother them so you ended up calling joshua and he picked up in 2 rings

joshua: hey whats up?

you: sorry to ask of this but are you almost at school? because the gates are locked

joshua: oh really? i’ll be there in like 1 minute

you: ok see you soon

and in exactly one minute a car appeared and joshua hopped out with an umbrella

and he had the most concerned expression when he saw u soaking wet without an umbrella

joshua: omg y/n are you stupid why dont you have an umbrella

you just sighed as he held the umbrella above both ur heads

joshua: why don’t we go inside my mums car before we decide what to do i dont want you getting sick :(

you guys headed to his mums car and he just held the umbrella above both your heads and you noticed that it covered more of you than him

he could have easily put his arm around u so he wouldn’t get wet at all

but this was one thing you came to notice and really admire about joshua

that he’s such a respectful gentleman

whenever you befriended a guy you’d low key make it clear that you weren’t interested and just jokingly friend zone them

he never made you uncomfortable with his actions or words and always 100% respected you and kept his boundaries

anyways soon u guys found out that you had to enter the school from the back gates instead of the front gates and the rain slowly came to a stop

cue: joshua’s mum eyeing you two in the rear mirror from the front lmao

anyways the day went well and you guys had a lot of fun busking together and even got ice cream together afterwards :))

next year rolls around and you guys have only maths and music classes together but still hang at tutoring

its valentines day and tbh u never expect much because you’ve never received a red rose you’ve only gotten those yellow friendship roses

but during roll call the person giving out roses is like: y/n a red rose for you!!!! and you’re so SO happy bc who could be this secret admirer??

the rose also came with a super lame pick up line “did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

you were so curious as to who it was

joshua: oooOOOHHHH whose the unlucky guy pls we all know its you lmao

anyways europe FINALLy rolls around and heck u are keen to visit mozart’s house

some of your girl friends like eunwoo, yuha and roa are also going

when the whole band club arrives in europe every day is busy busy with music workshops and such and its only 5 days in where the teachers who came on the trip give the students like 3 hours of free time

teacher: ok u guys must be in a pair at least so u don’t get lost!!

however, all ur friends only want to go shopping while u wanted to take a walk and admire the scenery of europe

but then someone taps you on the shoulder and u turn around and its joshua

joshua: hey what were you planning to do during the free time?

you: i wanted to look around and see the architecture and the scenery and stuff but everyone wants to go shopping :(

joshua: oh really! thats so good because me too i’d rather take a walk around here rather than go shopping; all my friends wanted to shop too

you: omg thats great we are always in sync arent we haha

joshua: yeah we are! let’s go together then?

so you and joshua walk around the land of austria and admire the beautiful architecture and takes pictures of the scenery and visit all the pretty churches

it’s literally your favourite day so far in europe bc you’re so happy ahhaa

(little did you know tho seungkwan literally refused joshua to hang out with him bc he was so sick of seeing joshua tiptoe around you. seungkwan: I BEG U TO HAVE SOME ALONE TIME WITH HER PLS BE ROMANTIC PLS CONFESS ALREADYYYY)

so that night dinner is also free time so students can choose where they wanna go to eat and seungkwan joins you guys and you guys all end up in a really fancy and aesthetic restaurant

where the lighting is dim, there are lit candles and roses hung around and its literally a beautiful restaurant

you’re super oblivious but seungkwan is like glaring at joshua the whole time and kicking him under the table

while they’re having a staring contest you’re just chatting away about how much of a great time you’re having and how this is the first time in your life you’ve been inside such a nice restaurant and chugging on your food

after the meal you take a toilet break and little do you know while you’re doing so seungkwan is giving mediating lessons to joshua so he can calm down

and by the time you get back seungkwan is gone

you: oh where did seungkwan go?

joshua: oh he just went to chat with woozi

you take a seat and is like: so do u reckon we should head now?

and then joshua is like: actually there’s something i really want to say to you

and you just look at him super confused bc did something bad happen?? and you’re just super clueless and oblivious to his feelings towards you

bc the reason why ppl even ship u guys in the first place is because everyone can see how the way he stares at you, cares for you, catches your bus thats a 15min walk to his home when there’s one that stops directly in front of his home, how he always helps you with work, how he always encourages you to not give up whenever you’re having a hard time

and then joshua is like: y/n you probably have an idea already but i really like you, i like you a lot. i’ve liked you since we got ditched by seungkwan and woozi in music class and we ended up talking about music and had a proper conversation. also the rose for valentines day this year, that was me too

and you are S H O O K

and your mind is blank

and then you blurt out the dumbest thing ever

“sorry i only see u as a friend and dont want to date in high school”

.....

teacher: ok guys we are heading back to the hotel now!!!!!

joshua’s eyes and shoulder’s drop completely and he looks so discouraged and sad

and you’re brain is just confused as to what just happened...you suddenly feel hurt? lost?

you told yourself never to like anyone and up until now you’d never felt your heart race for anyone...you suddenly felt like you lost someone precious....someone special...

you guys part ways and head back to your respective friendship groups

and the moment you get back to the hotel you head straight for your room, not wanting to talk to anyone about what just happened

bc girl u needed time to process what just happened and to really think bc you’re heart was aching for some strange reason

(obviously you were oblivious to the fact that you had always liked joshua the whole time sighs)

you can’t think straight so you decide to call ur sister nayoung

you completely forget about the time difference between europe and australia

and so when nayoung picks up she’s groaning into the phone: IDIOT ITS 7AM HERE AND A SATURDAY I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP

you: you won’t believe what happened

nayoung: what did you get a boyfriend lmao

bc before u went to europe ur sister always joked about finding a handsome european guy with a cool accent lmao

you: not really no

nayoung: WHAT

so you tell your sister everything that happened and how you felt so empty and lost after rejecting joshua and unexpectedly you even start crying

and you can hear your sister sigh over the phone

nayoung: look y/n, the fact that you’re crying and even more confused obviously means you like him. to be honest i always had a feeling he liked you and i also thought you liked him too. these days all you ever talk about is him at home and you’ve never said a negative thing about him,,, you totally like him

and you being a stubborn one are like: “no he’s my friend a really close friend that i trust, he’s basically my brother, its like i lost a relative” you sob

nayoung: remember in weightlifting fairy kim bok joo...do you think you’ll be okay if joshua wasn’t by your side anymore? think about it carefully, thank about all the times you relied on him in the last year sorry had to bring in weightlifting fairy kim bokjoo because #swag forever and this part actually happened in real life bc the girls sister said this lmao

and well it was true that you’d relied on joshua too much recently there were times where you were struggling and u turned to him for advice in particular that time where you were considering dropping out of music bc it was getting stressful and taking up so much time

and no matter what your family and friends said you wouldn’t listen but when joshua advised you mind u with the exact same things nayoung said you somehow trusted his words and he was like your rock at times and always willing to listen to u and encourage u

by this point more and more tears were flowing and you didn’t even know why YOU LIKE JOSHUA BUT U R OBLIVIOUS POTATO

nayoung: maybe you can tell him that you were flustered so you can rethink it again you might regret this later

you: ok thats a good idea ill try to...

and after nayoung the best sister in the world pep talked u and lectured u for the next hour u finally decided that you would reconsider ur decision and let joshua know

you were dreading the awkwardness bc ever since the confession u guys had not talked and avoided eye contact at all costs

you sighed and decided to sleep so u wouldn’t have to think about it for now and deal with it tomorrow

meanwhile in joshua and seungkwans room

josh: seUNGKWAN U LIL IDIOT she freaking rejected me this is the most embarrassing rejection in the world how will i live after today??????

seungkwan: i dont get it tho y/n clearly likes u why would she reject u i even asked y/n’s sister nayoung to see if she had a crush on anyone

josh: i’m never talking to u again seungkwan do u know how hurt i am

*cue seungkwan trying to make joshua laugh by acting out natural disaster scenes from american movies lmao*

so the next day you’re trying to find the opportunity to talk to joshua but he was always surrounded by ppl

and u were so nervous bc u had planned what to say in ur head and despite the weather being -2318 degrees Celsius u were sweating from head to toe

anyways right after breakfast and before boarding the bus u finally see joshua by himself because seungkwan had gone to the loo

and you slowly approach joshua taking deep breaths because u were about to face the most awkward conversation of ur life

but before u actually reached joshua he saw u coming and awkwardly looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck

but u had to do this nayoung was right what if u regretted this and took this to ur grave he was the one guy u were so comfortable around and u could be yourself and he was so supportive and not to mention cute and smart too

you: hey josh

josh: oh uh hi y/n

you: ummm look i wanted to talk to u about ummm yesterdays events

cringe it was already getting so so so awkward bury me in a hole already

josh: ahhh ok sure what do you need to say?

you: the thing i’m really sorry about what i said yesterday...tbh i was really flustered and i just ended up blurting that out i hope i didn't hurt you. but i wanted to ask if u could give me a chance to reconsider what u said bc ur a really great guy and i think i’ve never seen u in a romantic way before so starting now i’ll seriously consider your feelings for me and also work out if i have feelings for u

and u were so embarrassed and u felt ur cheeks go red and ur looking at the ground

josh: a chance? i couldn’t even get a single minute of sleep last night says josh jokingly

you: omg really im so sorry :(

josh: its okay im really happy that you’re giving me a chance ;;; like tbh if u think about it, we go same tutoring, see each other in band club and even share closes together...we really can’t be awkward around each other so i was thinking of approaching u and telling u that its ok if u didn't feel the same way

you: *blush* yeah thats true.............

josh: so y/n dont be awkward anymore ok? lets go back to the way we were

you nod sheepishly

josh: and just give me your answer when you’re ready,,, i can wait an eternity for u HDJWFHWWK CAN YOU IMAGINE JOSHUA ACTUALLY SAYING THAT I CANT EVEN

and yay its all good between u guys and no awkwardness and you guys back to your usual relationship

and like the more you think about it, you find urself falling for joshua and noticing just how handsome he was and how kind he was

and you just really liked the fact that he was such a gentleman

he didn’t push you about your feelings, he continued to respect ur personal space and he didn’t make moves on u and just continued to be a good friend

but u heard from seungkwan that he was hurting a lot inside even though he smiled whenever u were around

and u didn’t like seeing him in this state

so you decided on ur answer !!!

(bc ur heart fluttered so much whenever you were around him and u started actually caring about ur looks and how he thought of u)

it was first period at school and it was music class

like 97% of music classes it was just practice

and u purposely get seungkwan and woozi to practice with all the other students

so u and joshua are just sitting on the stairs and joshua is lightly strumming on his guitar looking like a prince i tell u

and u guys are just chatting away normally and u tell yourself i need to say it its okay it’s normal i’m just gonna say it

and u probably have a super panicky look on ur face

and josh is like: r u ok y/n?

you: im fine..it’s just that i wanted to tell you something...about u know...that

and you see josh’s face literally drop and he stops strumming his guitar and mumbles: oh

because joshua thinks he’s gonna get rejected for the second time rip

and you’re really flustered again so you’re like

“i like you too, i want to give us a chance i can’t afford to lose you”

and literally the josh’s mouth curls into the biggest grin and u can see his eye smile hdahfoeifhq

and he looks you in the eye: y/n will you be my girlfriend starting from today?

you: yes i will joshua

IDAHLQF QYES FINALLY YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER

literally everyone is happy and suengkwan wants to throw a party for u guys

basically at school u guys are the music couple bc u guys sometimes do duets and are always defending each other when other ppl say that classical music is dumb

and one time a teacher was super mean to u and joshua stood up for you and you are like where did the shy joshua go

you guys perform a lot with the squad aka seungkwan and woozi

joshua even shouts seungkwan bc seungkwan played a big role

*nayoung in the background: what about me :((((((*

and like at tutoring the tutor, jeonghan is even happy and is like to this kid: pass me $10 i said so they’d get together this year lmao

i just realised i forgot about kyulkyung lmao

kyulkyung is so happy and loves third wheeling dates to get free food lmao bc joshua is such a gentleman and insists on paying all the time

but eventually u guys decide to take turns and agree that he can treat desert

and yeah you guys are couple goals because super supportive of each other, always watching out for one another and you guys only have eyes for each other

ok i need to end it here lmao its like too long

and yes this girl got confessed to in austria (when they live in australia) its actually so romantic tbh im not jealous at all *wiggles eyebrows*

#joshua hong scenarios #seventeen scenarios #hong jisoo scenarios #seventeen imagines #joshua hong imagines #hong jisoo imagines #seventeen #jisoo scenarios #joshua scenarios #hong joshua scenarios #joshua hong #joshua #pledis seventeen #pledis 17 #seventeen fanfiction #hong jisoo fanfiction #joshua hong fanfiction

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captnbarnesrogers · 8 years ago

Text

Better For Me (Part Six)

Pairing/Characters: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Natasha (Reader sometimes calls her Natalia), Sam Wilson, let’s just say everyone in the fuckin compound lmao Warnings: Swearing, cocky!Bucky, sexual tension, eventual smut, it’s a slow buuuurn. TRIGGER WARNINGS (CHAPTER 6): Attempted sexual assault, talks of past sexual assault/rape, violence, swearing, almost smut, angst Summary: You meet one of New York’s richest Bachelor’s. He’s hot, he’s rich, and he’s an absolute fucking asshole. Luckily for you, you’re an asshole too and you could take a challenge any day. Within the first 24 hours of knowing each other, you’ve already pushed each other over breaking point. But when something comes up, you’re both forced to try and get along. Can it be possible? Word Count: 3K+ Chapter Summary: You and Bucky spend the holidays with your family and he discovers something horrific about you and the only thing on his mind is getting out of there. A/N: Chapter 7A coming soon! If I missed any trigger warnings, please let me know! If you want to be in the taglist, links are below!

<<<PREVIOUSLY ON BETTER FOR ME

Four hours was not long enough. To say you didn’t want to arrive home to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, was an understatement. Bucky took a hold of your small hands and pressed it against his warm mouth.

“What’s on your mind?” He whispers,

“I don’t know if I should’ve taken you home.”

“You don’t want me there?” His faced dropped and he sighed,

“What? No, no, of course I want you there, I just, I don’t know what you’ll think of me after.”

“Look,” He turned your head to face him, “look at me, doll,” he kissed you softly, “no matter the outcome of this, I’ll still be here, okay?”

“Buck, you can’t make that promis-”

“Yes, I can, if I have to spend the rest of my life showing you, I will.”

“You’re a silly, man, James Buchanan Barnes.” You smiled,

“I feel something good coming out of this.” He leans in to kiss you and you rest your hands on his face, smiling against his lips.

The plane landed shakily, your hand gripping Bucky’s hand tightly. It wasn’t because you feared the plane. You were afraid to go home. You only go home to see your little sister, to check if she’s okay. To make sure what happened to you, doesn’t happen to her. Your daily phone calls weren’t enough. You wanted to see her, you just couldn’t afford to fly home every weekend or every other week, you also couldn’t afford bringing her to New York to live with you, so Christmas was the only time she could see you. Bucky took your hand and you both headed out of the airport, the breeze making your hands feel like ice. You hauled a taxi and packed your bags in the trunk, entering the cigarette smell filled vehicle.

The car ride was silent, just the sound of the radio playing ‘Jessie’s Girl’ by Rick Springfield which Bucky was tapping his foot to. You arrived at the house after thirty minutes. It was still concealed from the sunlight, almost foreshadowing the evil within it. You let out a big huff as you walked out of the yellow car, paying the cab fare, Bucky grabbing the bags from the back. You walked to the front door of the house and knocked. You heard hurried footsteps, almost instantly knowing who it was. The front door swung open.

“Lily!” You opened your arms as she jumped atop of you, “Hi, sweetheart, I missed you so much!” You gripped her tightly,

“I missed you too, Y/N.”

“I want you to meet someone.” You dropped her on the ground and stepped back so she could take a look at your Bucky, “Lily, this is Bucky, my boyfriend, Bucky this is Lily, she’s my sister.”

“Nice to meet you, Bucky.” She said holding out her hand for him to shake. Bucky let out a chuckle and shook her small hand,

“You too,” she nodded and gave him a smile, “you know, for a-”

“Ten-year-old she has a good grip?” You finished his sentence,

“Yeah, how’d you…”

“She gets it from her big sister, a lady who has a good grip, shows?” You implied for her incoming,

“Shows strength and independence!” She chirped in,

“Good girl.” Bucky saw your eyes light up, the more you looked at your sister, something he’d never really seen before, “It’s a little chilly out here, you gonna let us in, kid?” She nodded and let you both inside, running off through the hallway. Bucky grabbed your arm before going in, crashing you into him for a kiss. He pulled away as the air from your lungs began to cut out, “What was that for?”

“You just… Never cease to amaze me.” You playfully pushed him and laughed, leading him inside.

You were met with a façade of love. Your mother, Jean, and your step-father, Sean, in the kitchen dancing to the slow music coming from the radio near the fridge. You rolled your eyes and cleared your throat. They were caught by surprise and turned to face the figures at the door.

“Y/N, dear! We’re so happy you could be home!” She rushed to you and gave you a hug, which you returned,

“I’m happy to be home too, mom.”

“You’ve grown since last Christmas, Y/N.” A voice behind your mother snuck in,

“Sean.”

“We’ve missed you, darling.” You almost gagged at his pet name, you gave him warning eyes not to come near you in which he refrained from doing so,

“Who’s this dashing young man?” Your mother asked,

“Oh, yeah, um, this is my boyfriend, James Barnes.” Sean made his way over to Bucky with prying eyes, almost as if to attack your boyfriend. He roughly gripped Bucky’s hand for a handshake,

“Nice to meet you, both of you.” He says politely. You look at Sean whose eyes were sneering at your boyfriend,

“Well,” your mother started, “dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes and I assume you’ll both be staying in your old room together, so why don’t you both get up there and get ready for dinner and unpack?”

“Thanks mom.”

Exiting the kitchen was like exiting a war zone; something was lifted from you but you knew going back in, all the troubles would start again. You let out a big huff as you took the last step into your room, Bucky following right beside you. As you closed the door, Bucky took you in his arms in an embrace.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks, your face pressed up against his chest, you nod even though you weren’t really sure what you were feeling. He pulled you away, shortly after rubbing your back comfortingly. He lifted your head to face him and then leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips, “I don’t know what’s wrong but you’re gonna be okay, babe, I’ll be right here.”

Dinner was silent except for your mother trying to shut you and Lily up at the dinner table. It wasn’t until Sean asked Bucky what he did for a living did the tension between the two men rise but it barely rose. When the silence came back, Sean didn’t shy away from openly showing his dislike towards Bucky and Bucky felt it. Bucky’s fork made a screeching sound as he played around with his food, not knowing what to do with a situation like this. Jean only smiled at Bucky while trying to quieten you and Lily. Moments after, she began collecting everyone’s plates.

“Hey, mom, I’ve got some laundry and I saw some upstairs, do you want me to do those for you?” You suggested,

“Yes please, if you don’t mind.”

“Is the laundry detergent already out back?” You asked. Your mother nodded and thanked you as you went upstairs to grab the laundry, Bucky following behind you, “I’ll be out in the laundry shed for about thirty minutes, you alright in here, babe?” He nodded and gave you a kiss on the cheek. You collected your laundry and put them in the basket, then went around the rooms to collect the rest of it.

You greeted you mother once again in the kitchen, a chuckle making its way through your lips as she cracked a joke. You stepped out and felt the cool breeze hit your face. You walked around the corner to the side of the house, opened the door to the shed and started unloading the clothes from the basket and into the washing machine. You hummed as you separated the colours of the clothes, not hearing the door creek.

“Your boyfriend is something else, huh?” The sound of his voice made your insides sink, your whole body froze into place, the hamper dropping onto the floor, “Oh, my little darling…” You heard his footsteps draw closer behind you,

“Please- I just- I want to-”

“You’re mine, haven’t you learned?” You felt his breath on your neck, his finger making its way around and feeling the skin which covered your collarbone. You couldn’t help but sob, “You don’t need to cry, I know this is what you want.”

“Sean, I d-don’t-” Your heart was beating so fast when his hand trailed from your back, down to your ass. A single tear escaping your eye, his hands slid from your behind and to your front. Your breathing began to fasten in panic.

Lily couldn’t really spend time without you when you came home. She followed you everywhere, even as far to wait for you outside the bathroom. She loved you. She skipped along the footpath to the laundry room in excitement to tell you about a cute boy at school. Just outside the shed she heard your sobs, she peaked through the cracks and covered her mouth from what she saw. Sean had you bent over the washing machine as you sobbed. You caught a glimpse of Lily and looked at her with pleading eyes, she tip toed away from the shed and ran off when she got the stairs of the house. She ran into the house and up the stairs, passing her mother entering the master bedroom. She rushed into your room, where Bucky was on the phone to Steve, discussing the wedding.

Lily heaved a breath in and out, her eyes welling with tears. Bucky took one look at the panicked little girl and ended the call with Steve, telling him that the wedding could wait for just one moment. He bent down to face her and rubbed her arms to calm her down.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” He said comfortingly,

“Y/N.”

“Y/N? What’s wrong with Y/N?” His tone changed but still underlaid with comfort,

“Sean…” Lily huffed, “She’s in the laundry room with Sean.” Bucky’s eyes widened, remembering the only thing that Natasha had told him. He lifted himself up from the floor and rushed down the stairs. He swung the door open and didn’t take a second to look at the scene before him, he roughly pulled Sean away from you, making Sean land across the small shed. Within seconds, you’d dropped to the floor and Bucky was on top of Sean, punching him.

“Don’t... fucking… touch… her again!” He puffed out, lifting his fist from Sean’s face, he turned to face you, caressing your mascara stained cheeks, “Baby, Y/N, look at me, you’re okay… Fuck, Y/N, I’ve got you.” He saw Lily and slid himself towards her, “Lily, I need you to be a big girl and stay her with your sister for two minutes.” Lily nodded and sat beside you. Bucky ran into the house and up into your room. He zipped up your suitcases and rushed downstairs with them in hand. He placed them near the front door and ran back to you, “Lily, I need you to be honest with me, okay?” She nodded, “Has he ever tried to touch you before?” She shook her head ‘no’, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“I need you to go into your room and lock the door, okay? We’re gonna come back for you, sweetheart, I need to make sure Y/N’s okay first.” She nodded and ran off into the house and into her room, locking the door behind her.

“B-Bucky, I-I’m so sorry.” You cried,

“Don’t you dare apologise for this monster,” He says helping you up, “we’re getting out of here.” He carried you in his arms out the door and dialled a cab before grabbing the bags, placing them in the back when the cab arrived shortly after. The cab took you to the nearest motel, your sobs filling the vehicle the whole ride through. He paid for the motel and carried you inside with your bags. Your sobs had stopped temporarily but once he had set you down on the bed, it started again. He made his way beside you, embracing you tightly, and your hands gripping onto his shirt as you cried into him, “Shhh… It’s okay, Y/N, he will never touch you again, I won’t leave you, Y/N, shh…”

“I was- I was stuck and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t scream, I tried, Bucky.”

“It’s not your fault, you hear me? It wasn’t your fault.”

“We have to get Lily, she’s not safe there, I don’t want her there.”

“We’ll take her back to New York.”

“Buck, she won’t be able to go to school, I can’t pay for her scho-”

“Y/N, my mom knows the principal at Hunter College Elementary, we could send her there.”

“Bucky…” You looked up at him with widened eyes,

“We can’t keep her here, Y/N.” You knew he was right,

“I’ll call my mom in the morning and tell her Lily can spend the last semester with me.”

“You need to rest up, okay?” You nodded, laying into the bed. Bucky got up but you grabbed his arm,

“Don’t leave me.”

“Never.” He laid down next to you and placed a kiss on you head.

Your mother approved Lily’s leave from their home. Lily was excited to go to New York with you, her clothing and valuables already packed when you arrived at their front doorstep to get her. You gave your mother a kiss before leaving and squeezed Lily’s hand on the way to the airport. On the plane, Lily crossed her legs on the chair, Bucky on her left side and you on the right side. Her earphone dug within her ears, drowning out the mechanic sounds of the plane. You gently squeezed her arm to get her attention. She took out her earphones and gave you a smile.

“Lil, you know why we’re taking you to New York, right?” You asked in a whisper,

“Because Sean is a dick.” Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle,

“Bucky!” You exclaimed, giving him a light tap on the knee before turning back to face Lily, “That’s one way to go about it but maybe don’t use that word.”

“You’re gonna take care of me, right?”

“Of course, sweetheart, you know I’ve always got your back.”

“And I’ve got yours, Y/N.” You gave her a kiss on her forehead,

“Thank you for last night, Lily, for telling Bucky, you really had my back.”

“That’s okay,” She took yours and Bucky’s hands and connected them together, “I’m happy that you found someone to love.”

“Lily! You can’t just-”

“Y/N, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Bucky says laughing. He lifts your hand up to his lips and gives it a soft kiss, Lily clapping her little hands with a first prize winning smile.

“Y/N, what about school?” Lily asks curiously,

“Bucky’s mom knows the principal at an elementary school in New York, we’ve got you covered.”

“I spoke to my mom this morning and it turns out, this guy owes my mom and massive favour so you’re already enrolled and they’re waiting for you.” Bucky gives her a soft smile and she then wraps her arms around Bucky’s neck and hugs him,

“Thank you.” Bucky rubs her back comfortingly, telling her that it was no trouble. The more you looked at Bucky with your sister, the more you thought that maybe Lily was right, maybe there is a part of you that’s starting to fall for him or already have fallen for him.

Two hours into the flight, Lily had fallen asleep on you. Her soft snore making it obvious that she had not had a goodnight’s sleep. You turn your head away from your book and look at Bucky who was already looking at you with a grin.

“Do I have something on my face? Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked,

“Nothing,” he whispers, “you’re just… Beautiful.”

“What am I to do with you, Bucky Barnes?”

“Love me.”

“In due time.”

“I’ll always wait for you, you know that Y/N? I have never felt this way about anyone.” He took your hand and kissed it, “I’m always gonna be here for you.”

“Thank you, Bucky.”

A week had passed since the Thursday before and everything seemed peaceful. Lily had started school and Bucky hadn’t been called for duty. You’d dropped off Lily at school and you and Bucky had breakfast at a café just thirty minutes from your place. There was something about the way he was looking at you that morning.

When you got home, Bucky’s hands were on your hips, his lips on your back, making their way onto your neck. You leaned head onto him as his hands moved their way up to your breasts, taking your shirt off along with his movements, and your hands making their way into his hair, gripping tightly. You moaned and led him to your bedroom. You laid down as you kissed him, arching your back as you felt his mouth drag down onto your chest.

Suddenly, memories flashed through your head. Your breathing got faster and your eyes opened wide, screaming.

“Y/N! Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked, trying to embrace you. You flinched away from him and cried, covering yourself from his view,

“I think- I think you should leave, Bucky.”

“Y/N…”

“Please, I think this is for the best.”

“Whatever it is, we can work it out, Y/N, please.” You kept sobbing as he tried to hold you,

“Bucky! Can’t you see what happened!? I’m going to keep remembering him if we do this, I can’t, I don’t want to remember him every time you touch me!”

“I-I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

“You’re a guy, Bucky, there’s only one thing on your mind.” You said cold heartedly,

“You seriously think that that’s the only thing on my mind?” You sat their silently as he stood up and you heard him sob, “I understand, Y/N.” He left the room and you heard the door close, not a sense of anger left behind. You cried and sobbed. Natasha found you in your room still in the same position. She grabbed you into her arms as you sobbed and just like your heart and your eyes, the clouds of New York City began to darken and rain fell profusely.

MASTERLIST

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @winchester-negan-one-shots @stevette60 @marvelous-fvcks @megandrawsspace @marvel-fanfiction @potterhead1265 @zoejohnson8 @frickin-bats @iamwarrenspeace @kenmen02 @captianwintersoldier@noelia8villa @bucky-bear-barnes @hollycornish @marvelbase001@duncedgoofball @abouttimefortea @buchananbarnestrash @minervaem @barnes-heaven @buckyywiththegoodhair @mellifluous-melodramas @heartmade-writingbucky @hellomissmabel@justanotherbuckydevotee @alphaabucky @firebendergirl33

BETTER FOR ME TAGLIST: @randomchick555-555 @chipilerendi @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @firebendergirl33 @bria133 @ancchor @thelovablesociopath @buckywiththegoodheart @charlesgrey1875 @zoejohnson8 @afflect40

SEB STAN/BUCKY BARNES TAGLIST: @yana-tardis-drwho@cassandras-musings @charlesgrey1875 @zxcorra @journeytresbien@chipilerendi

CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST TAGLIST GUIDELINES

PART 7A >>>

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orangebatsanctuary · 8 years ago

Photo

Inaho is finally 18 today! And he can marry Slaine now! Let’s congrats his wedding with:

DOLL by Yui Minatsuki

The brand new fantasy AU featuring female-Slaine and the formidable Inaho (in many meaning *lmao*). Prepare the pillow to squeeze for these romantic humor, yet so tender with purest heart. *tear brimming*

click ‘Keep reading’ below.

***Please wait a while for reading on OrangeBat-Sanctuary website, due to some technical problem occurred. I could only post on Tumblr at the moment, and soon the authors will post on AO3***

Happy Wedding *cough* I mean, Happy Reading!

Love,

Rosiel

DOLL by Yui Minatsuki

Disclaimer: I do not own Aldnoah Zero

Summary: Slaine needed money to free her father and tried to apply for a job in Inaho’s antique store.

Tags: (Inaho x Fem!Slaine) (Kind-of magical medieval era Alternate Universe)

The ad said, the store needed a person or a group of persons who were willing to do anything for money--no special ability or legal citizenship required. And he/she must not sue the shop owner if anything happened--even if it included the loss of limbs...or lives. Details would be told later.

......no sane person would come for that kind of blatantly suspicious ad, even though it was written beautifully and placed at the door of a looking-expensive antique shop at the busy street of Rhoden streets. Some school boys in their brown vest and plaid trousers laughed at it. Others were merely interested with pretty unique things that were displayed there. A woman wearing a frilly white ruffle gown looked at an engraved hand mirror displayed, but she didn't get in and continue walking as a man in dark green suit pulling her away. No one took the ad seriously.

......but here Slaine was, standing in front of the old wooden door of that antique shop, intending to apply for the job--whatever it might be.

'Cause she needed money, of course.

She checked her black--but turned a bit gray--shirt and trousers. They were old clothes, but clean and not a single wrinkle spotted. She checked her appearance. Looked like she hadn't cut her hair short enough; it couldn't be helped since she cut it by herself; but still she looked like a 22 years old young man, not a little woman (hopefully). She really wished no one in this city would recognize her--especially this store owner.

She took a deep breath, and stepped in.

The small bell that was hung on the doorsill rang. The interior of the shop was...how to say it... It was cramped, but it was organized...and....and....

.....inhuman......

Slaine couldn't understand why she felt like that, but it was....yeah, kinda eerie. Why? Perhaps because she hadn't seen anyone? Where was the shop owner? Or, where's the other shopkeeper? Hadn't it got--even one--yet?

"Is there anything that I can help you with?"

Slaine jumped. Astonished. She knocked a white vase from the stand beside her. Luckily she caught it right before it fell down. Checking the porcelain--no crack--she released her breath that she didn't realize she was holding, and looked up.

A young man, around 26....or younger? She couldn't guess. He dressed in white tuxedo. He had porcelain skin, dark brown hair and burgundy eyes that were.....were....

......like a doll’s....?

That 'person' flatly stated. "A bit clumsy but has a quick response. Not too bad." He knelt and looked at Slaine in the eyes. There was a long silence as all he did was staring. Just. Staring. Intently.

"Is there anything that I can help you?" He finally asked in a low tone, inched closer as if he wanted to catch even a minimum change of her movement.

Slaine tried not to look at him, but she couldn't; she felt she ever met those eyes before...but when? Perhaps it's just her feeling--she couldn't properly remember with that store owner being too close like this. Uh.... his eyes were like doll's, so perhaps she'd felt familiar to him because of it. "Uh.. I... I saw your ad out there and...and... "

"Do you really need money that much that you are willing to do anything?"

Slaine gulped, and nodded without a single doubt.

"I see. You aren't lying." The owner of the burgundy eyes tilted his head, smiled, and blinked once, other than that he didn't show any expression. "You can start working today. Follow me." He stood up and walked between the row of wooden cupboards which held many kinds of intricate ceramics works and colored glass music boxes and twinkling silver dishes. His steps were light, and even, and almost unheard.

Slaine couldn't shake the feeling that that shop owner was a living mannequin! But, oh well... She put the white ceramic back on its stand carefully and followed him through the wooden door to the room right behind the front store.

It was a room that's filled with dolls: Wooden dolls. Porcelain dolls. Marionettes. Fluffs. All kinds. Neatly sat in the racks or inside the glass cupboard. Some sat in the window sills and sofas. Some were sprawled on the floor, but still. They were spotlessly clean. Slaine felt her dusty boots were out of place, so she removed them and walked barefoot, hugging her shoes, following the shop owner who had already opened the glass door to a dim aisle.

They both walked along that corridor for some time. Slaine counted she had passed through four rooms left and right.

'Just how many rooms this store has? It doesn't look this big from the outside.' Slaine thought as she passed the room that--shown from the small glass window--was filled with gears, tanks and pipes....Her eyes caught a sight of bright-orange-things...But she had no time to look and think about it.

The shop owner turn left and opened the key to a bright room. That six-big-window room was filled with dresses--on mannequin, folded neatly, stacked on the floor, hanging in displays--all kind. There were kimonos, frilly gowns, tuxedos, fluffy costumes, etc. Slaine stared in awe.

"Choose one and wear it for today."

Slaine squealed a bit, almost dropping her shoes. That shop owner suddenly talked right beside her!

"Uh.... Um.... Is it up to me?"

"....as long as you choose it right. After that, throw away the clothes that you're wearing now. They are horrible. You shall just leave them on the trash bin."

"....easy for you to say... " Slaine grumbled; she only had two sets of clothes--while she wore this one the other one was being washed.

She moved to choose, but the eyes of the shop owner observed her closely--following even the small details of her movement. It was creepy! She grabbed at one knee-length big trousers and white short-sleeves baggy shirt and showed it to him.

"Those are not looking good together. Your taste is awful."

Red-faced, brows furrowed, Slaine folded those clothes and walked again. She was confused of what will 'look good' for a girl-playing-to-be boy like her. Long time she was just staring at the row and row of clothes...until she stumbled upon a frilly bloody-red dress with bat ornament on its big stripe-white ribbon on the chest.

That bat reminded her of his father. 'It's been three years... ' She stared at it, wishing that he would be just fine...

"I see. You like it. Take it then."

"Wh.. What? " Slaine took a step away from the brunet who was looking at him intently right beside her (since when?). "But... But I... "

"You like it, right?" The brunet took that red dress from the mannequin and shoved it to her hands. "My name is Kaizuka Inaho. Nice to meet you, Bat."

"B..Bat ?!?? I'm... I'm not Bat! My name is--" She stopped herself and looked away, "...my name is.... Gull. Just... Gull...and I'm a boy!" She carefully looked at the store owner, "....you....don't mind with....just that...right?"

Inaho tilted his head, looking intently at Slaine. "....you are......." He stopped himself, and smirked, "Interesting." He said with tone that revealed amusement. "Really interesting."

Slaine didn't know how to reply to his....compliment (?). Seriously everything in this store was 1000% creepy, particularly its owner, Slaine didn't like him at all but.... But...

She did also think that the store owner possessed some nostalgic aura... Why?

"What are you waiting for? Put that clothes on."

"H...Huh?" Slaine realized she had been staring off without doing anything but to stare at him, holding the dress. The store owner was looking at her. Intently.

"But.... But.... like I've just said, there's no way I should wear this girly dress as I'm a boy--"

"You lied."

Slaine froze. How could he knew? Did he...did he already recognize who she really was? If it was, then she had to run!

But all her thinking was stopped abruptly as Inaho put his hand on Slaine's chest, uttering, "boy doesn't have this kind of anatomy, these are--"

A punch landed on his face.

* * *

His left eye was swollen and his nose was bleeding. Good. At least he looked a bit like human now. Slaine thought as she tended to Inaho's wound. She'd rather run away, really, but that brunet had managed to lock the door of the dress room, and stated that she should work in this shop or else she would need to work thousand years in another place before she could pay the fine of having punched him in the face.

"I don't care even if I couldn't make it! I'll just work and do whatever I can. I don't need to work with someone like you."

".....but here you are on my sofa, and are tending to my wound. From now on, let's do our best together, Slaine Saazbaum Troyard."

"Sh... Shut up!" She angrily closed the first-aid box--flushed. Well, if this store owner was willing to accept her despite knowing her identity, why not? Still... "Don't....Don't call me with that name--"

"No one can hear us here. But if you insist, I'll call you Bat." Inaho put his head on Slaine's lap. "My head is a bit dizzy. Your punch was good, Bat."

"~~~~~~~" Slaine didn't know what to say. Really. This shop owner was insufferable! But, yeah, he's indeed the shop owner and she needed the job. How awesome.

"....I'm sorry for what has happened to your father."

Slaine went rigid, "....how could you know....? Do you come from the Land of the Red Sand?"

"No. I come from the Land of the Rising Sun, actually, but I'm a merchant; I've travelled everywhere."

"Hm."

"Why do you need money that much? I need to know this information as the measurement of how far you will be motivated to work for me."

'In other words to list all ammunition to make me do anything for him. Huh. Fine. Whatever.' ".....I need to pay a certain amount.... for my father's freedom."

"Your father.....the vampire count who was caught by the Red Sand Kingdom.... I don't think they will free him just for money."

"Just shut up I won't tell you more than this."

A stretching silence. Slaine looked aside, to the pile of the red dress, gazing at its bat ornament. Inaho was staring at her, observing, thinking...

Then he decided to say, "Three years ago...I was happen to sold Little Orange Soldiers to the emperor of Red Sand. They were machines; your Count Saazbaum could do little to harm them."

"That...those were ugly colored things that captured my father! How dare you!"

"As I said, I am a merchant. I sell things for living. Besides... " Inaho heartlessly poked at the bat ornament of the red dress. "Your father is the vampire Count Saazbaum; he has drunk blood and drained lives of many people. I really can't comprehend why a human like you call him 'father' and idolizes him so much." He tilted his head, staring intently at Slaine. "And if the battle record is true, you had let my Orange Soldiers went through the sewer although you were capable of drowning and destroying them at that time. Your father was caught as the result, and now you want to pay for his freedom. Such inconsistency. It's intriguing though. Why?"

Slaine felt it was hard to breathe properly.

......why....?

.......because he's the only one whom she could call 'father'.

Slaine hugged the bat ornament, pushed Inaho until he fell hard on the floor, broke the window, and ran away. She wished she could be far far away from that heartless shop owner.

Running along the reddish oak tree and brownish maple...her thought travelled through memories--remembering her vampire count father...

He understood her, and she understood him.

He was a human before, but he had done many forbidden experiments and changed himself into a vampire to gain immortality. Yes. He would need a long life to unveil the secret of life and death. He did all of that in hope that he could revive his dear Orlane who had died hundred years ago.

Count Saazbaum befriended her father, Dr. Troyard, for the experiment. Dr. Troyard died in an accident. Not that she care actually, since he had never tried to find her when she had gotten separated and lost when she was little, but Count Saazbaum looked for her and took her under his protection. The Count said he couldn't understand his friend's thought of why he left his daughter; he didn't think it's right; so he looked for and adopted her after his death. Besides...

He was reminded how it felt to be human when he took care of her.

He made a good father, indeed.

But Slaine also knew that he, very much, was a vampire. On one of his monstrous thirst he could finished off an entire village. That was....

.....but still. After all he had done. He was her father. Her scientist human father hardly ever cared for her. But this vampire was....

She stumbled upon the root of a big tree. She never knew this place had some kind of forest-like garden inside. Was it really a small building on the Rhoden street? It was crazily big!

Before she got up, a hand pointed a gun to her. It was that store owner. He stared at her; his face was as expressionless as a doll.

She sarcastically smiled. She bitterly thought that, a living doll like him would never understood--no use to talk about feelings to him. And she was really sure that he hated her--the human daughter of the vampire count.

She pointed at her forehead.

Kaizuka Inaho was quiet for a while. He then stepped closer, grabbed Slaine cheeks, and kissed her between her eyes.

"What...?" Fully flushed, Slaine forced the shop owner away. His kiss tasted human. "What are you doing? Are you crazy?"

"I'm taking the fine of strolling in my secret garden without my permission." He didn't show that it was a big deal, at all. "Let's go. You are starting to work today. Change your dress and help me deliver Mr.Zurek's good." He walked away, assuming that Slaine would follow him like a good, obedient, puppy.

Slaine hated him. She deeply hated him. But then, what could she do about it?

Yeah. She needed the job. Whatever it might be. However odd the employer was.

She got up and followed him.

* * *

Slaine was relieved that she didn't have to wear that frilly red dress.... she was wearing black suit now--posing as a puppet butler.

Why she should act as a living doll? She didn't know, and Inaho didn't answer to her question about that. He only said that her job was all depended on how well she acted as a wireless marionette. So she did that, although she really couldn't understand why.

Her acting skill was wonderful; since she'd gotten used to do it to survive in this harsh world. Entering the red-stoned castle... People there were all looking at her: from the foot guard until the Count Zurek himself.

"Look at that...."

"What a marvelous porcelain doll....and he’s moving!"

"I bet he is one of Mr.Kaizuka's newest inventions.... "

"......he made that machine so beautifully.... "

".....how much he costs.... I wanna have him!"

Slaine wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. But she kept her soulless smile and limited-movement. Yes. She was a doll now--a walking mannequin that displayed the rainbow crystal for Count Zurek in front of all the people in this castle.

Now after the crystal had been given, she had to wait in the garden--while Inaho had a lunch with the count and his court. That brunet was really cruel... She hadn't eaten anything since yesterday! Still, it couldn’t be helped. She was a doll now and a doll didn’t eat. She had to endure hunger for the money!

* * *

In the castle dining room…

"I never thought that you would allow... it…to work with you." The Count of the Land of Music and Book, Zuurek, said in a low voice, careful as not to be heard by any other people except the merchant. "You know who I mean... Your doll."

"I'm glad you realize it. I'm here to show it to you. I employ anyone who is willing to work hard. And it fulfills my criteria." Inaho flatly answered.

"I see... " Zurek sliced his steak and gulped it. "After you truly know about that you still take it under your wing. That's you, indeed. Have you told it about that?"

"......I won't let it know."

"....'cause if it knows, it won't work for you...?"

"Exactly. And I hope you would respect my selfish wish. I want it to be by my side." Inaho drank his wine.

"I see... I'll keep quiet."

"You have my thanks."

"It's me who shall thank you for the crystal."

Inaho nodded without saying anything as both of them stood, and shook hands.

* * *

Slaine kept her 'professional-doll' composure although the people around her, while she was waiting at the garden without Inaho around, were not that really nice.

They snickered, whispered, commenting about her inhuman composure--how they wished to own 'that doll' and 'play on the bed' with it etc. She tried not to care. She remembered people had done things far than that when they knew she was Slaine Troyard, the adoptive human daughter of a fallen Count vampire. Almost gang-raped. Nearly killed. Chased by an entire village with the people carrying stones... Days of hunger in the forest.... Groups of people hunted her, trying to catch her...perhaps to be sold as sex slave or pet? She didn't want to imagine further.

She had worked hard to conceal her identity and worked hard to save money secretly. Now Inaho displayed her throughout the palace like this... Wouldn't it be dangerous for him too if only others knew--particularly the count of the land he was living in--her true identity? She really didn't know what's going on in his head...

She was relieved when she saw Inaho walked to her. That brunet was expressionless, more like a doll than human. But she felt safer when he was near, and he was all she had now.

'No. Not in a romantic way--he is the shop owner and I'm his employee. That's all!' Slaine hastily thought as she followed him wordlessly to the stable.

They got in the carriage that had a mechanical six-legged horse pulling it. It was Inaho's. Slaine observed that the brunet was really good in making that kind of things aside that he was a merchant.

When they had been far from the castle, Inaho shoved an apple to Slaine's hands.

"This is... "

"Eat."

".....??"

"You haven't eaten at all since you came into my store."

Well, yeah, it's true. Still, what's with this sudden gift? Well... since she was hungry... She didn't question it further.

She ate it. It’s delicious, but she really didn't like how the brunet was observing her every movement now. That kinda drained the taste away....

".....let's pass you on as a doll... "

".....why?" 'It is you who look so convincing as a doll, flat expression and everything.' She thought.

"......that way I can make you wear pretty clothes; for sure that will increase my sales. Moreover, people can't disturb you since they will know you as my delicate property." He put another apple in Slaine's hand. "I'll make them pay an obnoxiously high fine if they ever touch you."

'Ah....he only thinks about money... ' Slaine bitterly thought. "Do as you wish." She airily said and ate her second apple--chose not to care much about how Inaho was watching her as if she was some kind of interesting specimens.

So long as he didn't hurt her, it's fine...

* * *

And so the masquerade had been set.

Slaine dressed up and acted like a doll, every day, and Inaho didn't give her any day off.

There were times when she was wearing tuxedo, or blue shirt, or red military uniform. There were also times when she was wearing frilly lolita gown or fluffy costumes. It all depended on what Inaho pointed at in the dress room every morning.

.....and Inaho made her clean the store, whenever that store owner felt like her to do it, in those costumes. Imagine how difficult it could be to clean while wearing a delicate dress! And she's the one who had to wash the dirty clothes, plus Inaho's dirty ones too. Just imagine the mountain of fabric....

But Slaine needed money. So she did her job without any protest, no matter whether actually she liked it or not......and no matter how strange things happening inside the household, she didn't ask much questions...

Such as, sometimes a heavy rain fell on the garden while on the street the sun shone bright. Another example: the store was inhumanly clean when she first came there. But when she started to get the responsibility to clean it...she realized that it took a whole one day just to clean one room of the store. How could the store owner clean his entire house before he got her as his only one versatile worker?

Was Inaho a sorcerer? But when Slaine cleaned up his bedroom she didn't find anything that looked like related to magic. And she never saw him waving a wand. Besides, wizard in this era was remained a few, and they choose to live in seclusion like in a mountain or forest or in the middle of cemetery... So perhaps no...

But then, how could those rooms be so clean back then? Machine? But if so, why he didn't use the machine again?

And the mystery was only going deeper.

One afternoon, after Slaine failed (again) to clean the front room thoroughly. Inaho stared at a speck of dust inside the displayed crystal cup, and monotonously said, "you forgot to clean this one too."

"....I'm truly sorry about that..."

"It's okay. It felt more human this way. I like it."

"Hhhuh?? "

"Lately the customer who comes is also a commoner. That's nice."

Slaine seriously thought that Inaho spoke same words but entirely different language to her.

Inaho also made her to sleep in that household. Or to be more exact, on one of the sofa in the dress room, in a costume he prepared every night. Forget holiday--it seemed like she had to work there 24 hours a day--even when she was sleeping; and her job was to be his doll. Oh wait, but he ordered her to act as human as she usually be when there's no customer around, so.... Really, Slaine couldn't understand Inaho's way of thinking!

She was not allowed at all to step out of the store without his permission, and she very rarely ever went outside--only when Inaho wanted to deliver good together with her. Although, she had to admit that she was being safer in the store, more than when she had to run and hide from people who hated her.

But it was a big problem when she had to deliver gold coins to the witch who had promised of giving her father's freedom.

"Where is the address of place you're going to? What is your purpose?" Inaho asked without raising his head from the accounting he did on his big black book in his wooden room at the middle of the garden.

’This town’s cemetary. To meet Femianne.’ There’s the answer but how could Slaine say that? She had to keep that as secret! "It's..... Um.... I can't tell you but I have to go…."

"I refuse to accept such a shady reason. Answer to my question honestly."

'He is playing difficult. Is the sale going down so much that his mood is bad now? But he said there's more customers around recently...I don't understand him!' Slaine took a deep breath, and said as politely as she could for now, "I am very sorry, Master, but I'm afraid I can't answer those questions. I can only say that I'll be back when morning comes."

"Then my answer is no. Get back to your room and sleep well. Good night."

"I understand. I apologize for intruding. Good night." Slaine bow down and closed the door.

She decided she would go out secretly.

Yeah, although....

The dress she was using now was really bothering her; first, she wore two layers of undergarments. Then, she wore frilly white gown with super ruffle skirt with layered upper sleeves. That dress had many flower ornaments attached, big white ribbon on the chest and two long pearly chains on her right and left waist. And she wore corset! And she wore big bright red ribbon on her hair. And she could not wear all those things by herself! She should not change her clothes if she didn't want him to know, so her biggest challenge would be: not to make that dress dirty. Well, she's kinda experienced in moving carefully in a delicate dress thanks to Inaho's order.

If that bad mood store owner knew that she disobeyed him, big possibility he would fire her.

But the worst case Slaine feared was that Inaho new the sorcerer who was helping her and told the Red Sand or the authorities of this land about it. There would be no chance for her to meet her father again. She didn't want that to happen.

Still.... She had to go tonight, at the full moon of the 13th month, to meet the witch of the death fists, Femianne. That witch had agreed to free Saazbaum if Slaine gave her a certain amount. She couldn't pay it all now; but she had to give money to her every that full moon, or else Femianne would broke their contract.

So here Slaine was, climbing the garden's stone wall outside the dress room, in that delicate dress, trying very hard not to ruin it. When she finally got through she was face to face with stretch of trees and bushes.

'Another garden? This place is definitely big.' Slaine walking around to look for the end of this garden, only with the help of the moonlight.

......the garden was so big.... It was like a forest, but strangely she hadn't found animals yet.

...It was so silent....only the sound of wind and rustling leaves...

....eerie.....

.....was this place still the part of the house in Rhoden Street on the Land of Music and Book? At this rate, she doubted it; she had been walking for so long...

Now she remembered: there's a magical door that could open the door to everywhere. There's possibility that one of the door in Inaho's house led to some place near the forest... The dress room had windows that connected to this 'garden', while the corridor before was so dark and windowless, so perhaps the 'anywhere door' was that door to the dress room. And probably it's connecting the Rhoden street house to eerie forest somewhere. Slaine felt so stupid that she had just realized it now...

....and so she was walking in this scary place she didn't know. And she couldn't find a way back to the tall cement fence--to the safety of Inaho's place. She practically was getting lost.

She heard a roar, and then slithering sound.

What creature was that?

'Calm down...calm down...calm down…' She tried to walk as fast as possible. But she was tripped, and fell down.

There came a roar again, this time closer. Slaine didn't care that her dress was dirty and torn here and there. Not anymore. She ran as fast as she could. No matter how many times she had to fall or being scrapped by the branches.

There's a heavy sliding sound behind her. It was closer and closer. Slaine looked back, hoping to see how far she was to whatever thing which had been pursuing her.

Big mistake.

She stumbled because of the uneven roots and fell on the slanting land, tumbling down. And before she knew it she was going free fall into the unknown darkness.

Luckily she could grab the nearest vine of some plants and she could stop her fall. Her hands were bleeding but she tightly clung to that thorny vine while her feet were trying to find crevasse between the stone to stepped onto.

She got it.

She tried to go up but her footing gave in. Not too long the vine Slaine's holding onto was snapped.

* * *

Inaho opened his big secret cupboard behind the bookcase in his room, and then he took out a camera. Tonight he would do that again.

People might call him creepy or stalker or whatever, he didn't care (as usual). He was just being honest to himself...doing things that he enjoyed.

Just like the night before, he's going to take photos of sleeping Slaine in a dress.

He liked Slaine. He had been since long time ago… He was first knew Slaine far before she was adopted by Count Saazbaum. It was twelve years after his 'birth'.

Have you ever heard of Pinocchio? Well, that puppet wasn't the only one. The fairy was also granted the wish of turning a doll into a living human child for other blessed people around the world. Inaho was made 27 years ago at the Land of the Rising Sun. Just like Pinocchio, he had to overcome many tribulations to gain a 'heart'. He had travelled across countries, land and seas...in the form of living marionette--a 50cm tall marionette, together with his human father and sister.

One day, on one of their journey, he was deceived and trapped, and sold to the circus….where he first met little Slaine there. She was around 7 years old--she'd gotten separated from her father in his scientific journey and she ended up in that place. He never heard of him looking for her.

They had planned to run away from the circus together....and yes, they could run....

But Slaine was caught again, and Inaho didn't help her that time as if only he had helped her, he could have not escaped.

He was still a doll that lacked of 'heart' back then.

He successfully came back home to his father and sister, but...

Years....and years......and years, he realized that he always thought of that pale blond girl--Slaine Troyard.

......he learnt guilt.

.......he learnt love.

He had become flesh and bone human eight years later. His magician father had passed away, and his sister had been married.

And he was still thinking of Slaine Troyard.

So he continued the journey to find her--as a merchant and as an inventor.

When he came to the Land of Music and Books, and sold Little Orange Soldiers to the Land of the Red Sand’s authorities, he finally found her.

Slaine was strong willed, kindhearted and pretty....all that he ever remembered about her.

But she had become the adoptive daughter of a vampire count... He was really worried of her being there just as that vampire's snack--a worry that turned into anger toward Count Saazbaum.

And he had chosen to only see her through the lenses of his inventions, as he concluded she would be really mad at him if she knew that he was 'that marionette'. He decided it would be best to meet her through their exchange of blows that time... So long as he could see her, it's enough...

But perhaps due to that, then things had gotten even worse.

One day Slaine decided to let his Orange machines got through. Usually she laid many traps on the castle--she was so excellent in that--he's kinda enjoying trying to get through her traps before...But then she let them go and her vampire father was caught, and Slaine had to run away--hide for her life.

.......more or less....he had hurt her......again.

That's when Inaho decided he would find her and take her home. He didn't mind if she would hate him for the rest of her life--he would certainly keep her on the safest place he could afford!

So he put an ad on his store to look for persons who could help him to find her. Still after around 100 men he had employed it was difficult to find that human daughter of the vampire.

......until his wanted little woman came into his store, by herself, dressed as a young man, looking for a job. He knew there's possibility for that--albeit very small one; since there's rumour that she was looking for a way to free her father through money, so she desperately needed job. But still...for Inaho, seeing Slaine walked in through his front door made he believed that miracles do happen.

And, Inaho had chosen to play safe, not telling her everything: that he was that marionette Slaine met at the circus. The feeling he had toward her all this time......and that it's impossible for her to safe Saazbaum as he had died in the prison. No one but the higher-up knew about that. His death was kept as a secret as not to angered other currently-hiding from(didn't care with)-the-world Vampire clans; he was died because of experiment for immortality held by the Red Sand. Karma surely dances...

Inaho quietly opened the door to the dress room. He looked at the rows of dresses in that moonlit room, and smirked. Had Slaine ever realized that all these dress had Inaho gathered for her? In the past, all he could do was imagining her in those costumes. Now, he really had her by his side; there's no greater joy than that.

But soon, he found out that no one was there.

Inaho ran out to the garden and walked along the wall, carefully looking for clue; the way Slaine behave when she was asking permission to go out was odd--now that he thought about it. She might be up to something...

He wished she didn't go outside the wall... He had bought this place from his father's wizard friend. It was deep inside the forest of Aukhayan, and connected to the Rhoden street through an anywhere door. He could operate the system of the door, but not the wall. If only he was able to do anything to it he would programmed it not to allow a certain someone going outside. There's big snake with black mane out there!

Inaho gritted his teeth as he saw a footprint on the soil near the base, and a bit of mud left at the top of that stone wall.

He ran back to his room, grabbed his back and brought everything that he would need to rescue someone who got lost in a jungle.

He decided if he found her he would be honest to her about everything!.....well, perhaps not all; it would depend on the situations. But, he's sure to tell her his feeling and make her sleeping in his room. He was not going to let her go. Never!

* * *

The castle was set in a blaze. The humanoid machine, Orange Soldier, marched through every corridor downstairs. The bloody bat beasts couldn't defeat them as they got no blood to be sucked. The traps around the castle had been malfunctioned.

Slaine ran to the vampire count room at the topmost tower in the west. This place had ended. And she's going to die together with the man she hated....but nevertheless still she loved the most--her vampire father.

When she arrived, Saazbaum was standing in front of a door made of glass. Behind it's clear lid Slaine could see enormous green field under starlit sky. It was anywhere door.

Slaine never knew her father had that. She realized he could easily run away using that...

But before she thought further that vampire grabbed her arm, opened the door, whispered that he wanted great grandchildren, shoved her to the prairie and closed it. Slaine tried to open it again, pushing it, slamming at it. But, even if her hands were bleeding because of it her father refused to open that door. The last memory of him for her was his sad smile.

The clear glass door then smashed into pieces from the other side.

Slaine jolted awake.

Pain shot through her right leg as she tried to move. She felt her lungs burning and it was hard to breathe. It seemed the fall had cost her some broken bones... She couldn't move that much. But still, she was lucky as there was a part of that cliff which was projected, so she had landed there instead of to the unknown darkness further down there.

She cried, but it wasn't because of the pain all over her body.

She missed her father.

Suddenly she heard a loud roar from above, and the sound of falling rubble. She struggled to lie face down and protect her head with her arms--luckily they were just wounded and not broken. Some stones hit her shoulders and waist. Slaine couldn't know how big they were, but their impact was painful.

.........she wished she should have just died.

But then she remembered her father. She gritted her teeth; she had to live to save him.

The falling debris stopped, but the roar continued on. Whatever creature there had stopped thinking of going down to get her--but it was still waiting up there.

What to do?

First thing first, she had to stop her bleeding. She tore her dirty rumpled worn-out sleeves and ruffled skirt to bandage her palms and lower left arm--as best as a wounded person could.

She found some fallen branches to support her right leg, but couldn't even manage to stand. What should she do?

The roar stopped. But Slaine couldn't make sure whether the creature was leaving or looking for another way to reach her. She must not assume she had been saved. What to do...?

She heard the cracking sound of twigs and fallen leaves under her body.

Well, perhaps she could make fire? Animals should be afraid of fire, and perhaps someone up there would find her. It would be difficult with her dampened-by-blood hands--she couldn't properly stop her bleeding, but she got no other choice.

Sounds of blast were heard. Thrice. And the creature roared again. The ground shook. Slaine could feel some rubble fell on her again although not much.

Was there someone? Or was it another creature? Slaine didn't know, but she had to try to scream for help. She took a deep breath, but before she voiced for help her chest felt burned and she coughed up blood. She lied down to calm her breath. She felt cold. She had just realized that the fallen leaves under her had been dampened by blood.

Slaine felt extremely sleepy and tired. She closed her eyes, intending to sleep a bit...just a bit...

"......!!!!!!!"

She heard a voice, was there someone calling?

".....laine.........! Slaine....!!"

It's Inaho's voice. Slaine tried to wake up, but she couldn't move at all. She couldn't scream either. What should she do?

She fought her drowsiness by trying to grab nearest twig and hit the stone on the ground with it--hoping to catch attention. Its sound wasn't loud enough. She tried to spot bigger things which she could be using. Or perhaps it would be better for her to try screaming again?

She took air as much as as possible, but in the end she coughed, and coughed, hard.

Then suddenly a bright orange--10cm diameter--robot landed in front of her. Lazy-looking eyes installed there were watching her in silence. Its propeller on top of it stopped, and it turned out to be in the form of stalk and leaves.

What an ugly new design; this one was far more childlike than the small humanoid-like orange-colored robot Slaine had known before, but she didn't hate it. Not at all. In fact for now she felt it was the cutest thing on this planet--just like its owner.

No way she would say that to him, though.

* * *

Showered by the moonlight, Inaho was carrying Slaine, bridal style. The orange robots were flying around them. He noted that his wanted woman didn't talk much. Was she asleep?

"....Slaine Troyard?"

"Hm."

Inaho smiled, and stopped saying anything. He focused on the path.

"....ry"

"Hm? What is it, Bat?"

"....'m sorry... I ruin your dress..."

Inaho looked at her: covered in dirt and dried blood. He had decided he would be honest....but he felt the difficulties now. "....it's... How should I say it... It's already yours."

"Haha... of course... I ve to....buy from you now....that it torn like this... "

"No. No..." He took a deep breath, 'I've been stalking you this whole time and buying those dress imagining you wearing them; so the dress was basically yours. Plus I like to secretly taking photos of you.... No. Choose other dictions!' ".....I give it to you. All the clothes in the dress room is yours."

"....really....?" It's hard to believe. Why? Oh, but Slaine was so drowsy now, she felt like to sleep more than asking any further question; she could ask it tomorrow, so she whispered, "Thank you...." and closed her eyes.

A stretching silence, and then, "Bat."

"Hn?"

"........I was a marionette."

"Hn. You look like a doll...really--"

"I am sorry for leaving you at the circus back then."

".........."

"I've been looking for you, you know."

"............."

"When I found out that you're with a vampire, I was really worried."

"....................."

"And then you're missing..... It's so hard looking for you. I was a doll before. I never knew that this kind of feeling could exist--it's stertorous, painful, particularly when you're not with me........But, it's beautiful and it makes me grateful--I'm grateful to have known you, Slaine Troyard. You may not be away from me again. Never. I won't allow you. You have to marry me. Bat, are you listening?"

Slaine nodded, but she couldn't say anything as she had been silently crying. Inaho hugged her, protectively.

It was a gentle night. Both of them were finally coming back to the place they could call home, together.

- end -

OMAKE

Slaine: Say…how do you keep this house clean before I came?

Inaho: *raise up the Orange robot*

Slaine: Oh, good, it can help me clean then.

Inaho: No.

Slaine:…..why?

Inaho: I like to see you cleaning.

Slaine: *threw the orange into Inaho’s face*

Thank you very much for reading this -^_^-

#ALDNOAH ZERO #az anthology #Yui Minatsuki #doll #Inaho x Fem!Slaine #inaho kaizuka #slaine troyard #orangebat #AZ #inasureanthology

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defunctblogtobedeleted · 8 years ago

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6/25/17, 5:30am - idk

Another long two weeks on the books. I really like this update schedule, it’s like just long enough that I don’t forget everything that happened lol.

I had a really weird dream sometime this week. It was kind of amazing, so I feel like writing about it for a sec. I was on some like cobblestoney/brickey kind of streets. A little bit Doctor Who London meets Chapel Hill I suppose, and all around me people were starting to riot. I think it was a feminist riot like I had encouraged Cullen to do months ago, and people were starting to shoot at each other. I was like duck this and took off running, but as I made my way down these outdoor escalators by a target I got scooped up by a group of five girls. Each of them grabbed a hold of one of my limbs and held me down and the last had a bat and was ready to smash my junk to pieces. I was like crying or something screaming not to hit my balls because they were still fragile lmao. When all seemed lost and I was about to take a beating one of the girls got bit by a fucking zombie on the neck and started gushing blood. All the girls freaked and I knew it was my time to get the fuck out of there so I bolted like hell. I ended up finding a laundromat tucked into a corner of this outdoor mall and so I decided to build myself a barricade there. I let in a little girl and her family, and they helped me move the washers and dryers, stacking them up (I guess I was superhuman or they weighed like nothing) to build a giant barricade at the entrance. We were safe from the zombies for a while, but some government agency started taking them down outside. What looked like an enormous leech made its way inside, and I held it up to see that it had a big mouth and teeth in the center of its belly. One of the zombies tried to make a big enough crack in the washers to get in, and I held up the leech who ate the zombie whole. But the government or somebody was trying to get us to come out of our hiding spot, saying they only needed one of us. When the family decided they were going to get rid of me because they didn’t know me I decided that this was bullshit because it was MY hiding spot, and furiously threw the leech out of the place. It landed in the middle of a small platoon of guys and exploded, turning them all into zombies. Then I was like holy shit this got even weirder and I woke up lol.

____

So anyway, Sunday I managed to get a nap in before heading out to pick up frankie. we talked for a while while fonzi was getting ready and all headed out to this food truck rodeo. We had some of the most delicious shit. Not gonna elaborate too much, but there were these pork belly bun sandwiches that exploded with a crackling of meat flavor and rounded with the savoryness of the fat in every bite. Holy shit I could eat them like every day of my life lol. We spent a good couple hours there, started doing this meme where Fonzi decided that Frankie looked like a celebrity from new york because her hair is all blonde too now. Since Sean and Angel didn’t come to meet us, we decided to hang out at angel’s for a bit. Just chilled and talked for a while while we deliberated whether or not to go swimming. When we finally decided to it was sunset, so his pool was closed, and then we tried to go to my pool but it was padlocked. Pretty damn disappointing, but we walked around catching fireflies and listening to music, which was nice. I took frankie home, but missed a turn and then a road was closed so we ended up detouring through chapel hill, and I decided we needed to stop and take a walk through the arboretum. Ended up going to one of the little grassy openings and in this big oak(?) tree up above us the fireflies must have been mating. In that particular tree they lit up every couple of seconds, making it sparkle in the night. There were so many fireflies that it was like a constant twinkling, like moving christmas light strung up between the leaves. It was beautiful. But not romantic in any sense unfortunately. lmfaooo she called me out asking if I was going to try to make out with her while we walked into the garden and I tried to play it off coyly like “who me? You were the one who kissed me last I remember.” and she had forgotten about this time that I may have actually imagined in my head so who fucking knows. The long and short of it is it seems like there isn’t an ounce of me that she’s attracted to. So that might work really well if I randomly decide to take her up on her aloof offer to move in with her in Boston one day. Who knows. I stll don’t know what I want to do.

Mon - work. Tony told me at the last minute I wouldn’t have patients that weekend, so I had to work mon and weds and take a hit on tuesday to follow through on my date with Katy

Tuesday I kicked some fucking assssss in doubles. Carried my buddy Will hard to get some experience for BMR. And Katy came after she got off work! I got to introduce her to ashleigh, it was sick. I was so fucking happy to have her there and so excited to get laid and so tired from burning out from doubles that I got demolished in singles and took off. Butttt unfortunately katy wasn’t feeling well so she fell asleep on me like Immediately when we got home. Was nice cuddling up with her though. Was torn for a while because I felt like I should be trying to hang out with Ashleigh and Aaron instead. Decided not to because she wasn’t feeling well and I should try to make her feel better because I’m a sappy fuck.

weds - work

thurs - had another really low key day with Katy. kinda just hung out until she got off work and then we just slept again. Bleh.

Luckily since I got the weekend off, it left me free to see Tony and Morgan for their birthday!! It was a fucking awesome weekend, showed up just in time friday night to smoke and go to dinner with everybody. Everybody fucking cheered when I came in the door, it’s like nothing ever changes with us I love all of em so much. Finally got to meet Tony and Morgan’s S.O.’s, and I like them both a lot. Once we were all a little stoned and being a little awk Laura made this hilarious offhand remark “ok, welcome to the conference. These are your friends.” that both became a great in-joke and also made me feel less terrible for being socially inept when I got high as balls for the first time in forever lmfao. Dinner was insanely good, we got like a whole bunch of small dishes at this place Pasteur or something, ate family style and got to try so many different dishes. I remember steak tar tar and this rib that was like eating caveman bacon on a stick being incredible. Also fried pickles and all sorts of stuff. Had a couple beers there, went to a bar and bought tony a tequila shot, got home, pulled the liquor out of my car and everybody got toootally fucking wasted. I don’t remember all that much, a little bit of a nostalgia fest with Alex for a while. Tony made the clutchest move ever ordering us a pizza super late in the night. But not too much later after gorging myself I puked my guts out and crashed on an air mattress with Erica lol. Was probably drunk enough that I might have tried to make moves otherwise, even though she has a bf now apparently you know me -_- . She’s lookin suppper fit nowadays. I think she’s still uniquely the only girl I’ve rejected in my life. Back when I was just a pure little kid and didn’t want to do anything sexual without it being special yet. Fuckin weird typing that now lol it doesn’t sound like me at all.

Saturday was river day, bought some beer and hiked with it about a mile to this river and spent most of the day there smoking drinking and chatting. It was fucking gorgeous out there, and everyone looked great together laying around on this rock. Got to know Dana and her gf much better, and tony’s gf. I think I drank like 5 or 6 beers floating around in the river, it was a lot of fun trying to ford across (it had poured that morning so the water was flowing pretty fast) without spilling any beers lol. Towards the end of us hanging out in the lake me and Laura floated around in this raft morgan had brought, and alex was reeling us in and casting us back out again like he was our dad. Such an excellent day. Until then I hadn’t told anyone about my vasectomy because I didn’t want to take attention away from everyone else, seeing how it had become such a talking piece on our family vacation and how much of my conversation with frankie had revolved around it. But I mentioned it in the river and said that it was because once I found out it was reversible I felt like the onus of birth control shouldn’t be put on the woman. Everyone was just like “huh wow that’s fucking awesome I totally agree,” and I like swam away for a bit instead of discussing it further. But when we were hiking back up to our cars Mike told me “yknow you might’ve started like a revolution back there with the vasectomy thing.” I was pretty fucking drunk and a little high so I honestly wondered if he was just fucking with me for a second, but I really appreciate that he said that after all the shit I got from my family. So that was a long ass afternoon of being out in the sun, and everyone got exhausted and fought to stay up but seemed like after we got back at some point everyone took a turn of getting too high and getting zonked out on the couch. I took a nap in Tony’s bed until his dad got there and got to see him for a bit. More great food was cooked, but I felt bad that I was so tired because I kinda wanted to rage again, especially since some new people came to hang that night, but not people that I knew. As a present Tony got the fire pit from their old house, and it was really neat to have another fire and sit around it with everyone. Sunday Tony and Morgan and some people cooked an enormous breakfast for everyone. Hung out with Mike and Erica and all talked about how good we look now lol. Eventually we said our goodbyes, I stuck around after everyone had left to chill with Mike and Tony for a while because I had nothing to do back at home. Katy decided she didn’t want to chill. I had waited on my dad for a long time to see him for lunch and so I didn’t smoke too much but got a little inebriated and watched nearly a whole season of Silicon Valley with Mike and Tony and his gf and Mary. Sun - came back at 4, got home at 7, idr that night. Mon - Stayed up until like 6am watching Doctor Who, had to go to chapel hill for a JKCF function at 9, barely slept at all but met some new cooke friends so that was cool. Went to raleigh w/ will to play melee, got suuuper fucked. Went 0-2 in singles AND doubles, the worst placing I’ve had in... well ever, but it’s been months since I’ve had one that bad. Tues - Had a redemption tournament at Geeksboro. Got second place, actually won a little money. Disappointed that I threw away a few games that might’ve given me first but had a lot of fun. Katy told me she was sick that morning, and since she had been no fun to hang out with the last week and she bailed on our plans for Sunday and that day I decided to break things off with her. She was confused and hurt, of course, but I was just like “this is bullshit you’re treating me like I’m not a friend” and we hashed things out about her worrying about me having too strong feelings and that we’d just be friends who have sex and watch cartoons and stuff. So we’ve still been snapping every day but I still haven’t seen her in a while. I’m glad we’re still friends though, I was feeling helllla fucking self conscious for a hot minute.

Weds - I hung out watching Doctor Who most of the day, but went out to the bar Ashleigh was working to hang out for a while. She introduced me to her friend who was kinda plastered and seemed like she was leaning for a kiss on our introductory hug. So I was like woooooooh baby I love gboro people I can’t believe I have to play catchup at fucking 11pm lmao. Chugged a few free beers for this Shocktop promotion, and since I hadn’t eaten anything I got just tipsy enough that I could flirt with her without feeling like a Total asshole. We were chatting about some music and stuff, went inside and danced for the tiniest bit, and then she basically kissed me three times. Nothing egregious or any tongue or anything because I was still wary of her being a little off her ass, but I realized I got a text from ashleigh saying “come talk to me.” I was like “oh what’s up?” and she said “well it doesn’t matter now, it’s just that she’s married, they��re in a rough spot but I didn’t realize it was That rough.” ha haaaaaaaaaaa goddamn just my luck lol. She ended up puking on the side of the bar, I made better friends of a few of the regulars and played pool with them, I hung out with Aaron when he showed up at the end of the night and got to hear about the drama between him and his old roommate, and I sang a bunch of karaoke. Another fucking wonderful night, fshoooo. Got a philly cheesesteak and passed out, was super hungover the next morning lmao.

Thurs - got off work early story of that girl that I posted Fri - work, getting ready for bmr, finally got my spare setup in the office at work I’m so fucking happy it doesn’t make enough noise that it disturbs the patients. I’m gonna be a god one day lolol.

Also just as a benchmark I’m 4 episodes into season 8 of doctor who now. Comin along nicely. Def the hardest I’ve binged on a show in a longggggggg time.

OH and last I learned how to solder on weds. Finally did the work on that controller mod and it fucking brokkkkeee kinda tragic, I had to throw out the guts of the controller that I learned to play the game on. I thought I was going to be fucked for a while, but luckily Will had my back and lent me one of his spares that works even better than the one I had before. Might have actually been lucky as fuck despite being out $50 on the microchips and soldering kit lmao.

Anyway my life is amazing, I’ve been doing personal finance numbers in my head a lot but I think that’s because I’m just reassuring myself that I don’t have to worry about money much anymore. Eating well, still not doing much french fries, trying to quit soda. Started doing pushups+situps+pullups before my showers, so maybe I’ll be a little fitter, even. Life’s pretty great. So fucking excited for BMR2 next weekend, hopefully I’m gonna kick some ass. Gonna be a muchhh nerdier update next time I get on here lol.

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