#luckily i don’t need brains to feel music haha

[f-ngrl]

Wah everybodies!! You know m3chvnic released another album?!? I didn’t jump at it bc of that electronic album he made last time but!!! I should have!! M3chvnic is the future!! Whoever recruited him for d.o.g is a genius and should hire artists to sign to labels!

Genius producer kid this guy!!! And yeah he raps AND SINGS this time! (About 5 different types both) We are blessed!

Darktemplar

Features unofficialboyy twice, seshin, ranchia, gamma and you would have expected.

March 2023 has so many good things for us <3 it’s only started too <3

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Not sure how good it is but here it is anyways!! A non canon AU of the crossover AU that is heavily based on The Last Day of Summer from Percy Jackson The Musical.

@daboyau

@phoebepheebsphibs

@littlemissartemisia

DvD: Until I Found You Donnie

Dee: No Fun in Fungus Donnie

“Hey, you ready to finally leave the competition?” Leon questions, packing away non perishable food he was gifted.

DvD stands next to him, arms folded in thought.

“I…..don’t know. It feels….wrong…..leaving so soon.”

“If this is about Misa, she can come see us any time. She even asked to come babysit Mikey.”

“No, it’s not her. My brain is nagging me like I’ve forgotten something important.”

“Maybe Karai can help you figure it out?”

“You’re right. I’ll go talk to her.” DvD lowers his arms and walks with purpose to their ancestor.

Karai is watching over Mikey and Raph saying goodbye to Misa before she notices DvD walking her way.

“Donatello, is something troubling you?”

“I should have known you’d know already. Does anything seem off to you right now? Anything at all?”

Karai considers this for a moment then shakes her head.

“No, I don’t believe so. Perhaps you still have leftover anxiety over what happened.”

“…..I don’t think that’s it, but if you say everything is okay….”

Karai puts a hand on his shoulder, immediately throwing him off since she knows how he feels about touch.

He’s more focused on how her eyes glow, though.

“You have been betrayed by one who calls you friend.”

“Ex-Excuse me!?”

April suddenly appears and moves Karai away.

“Haha, whoops! Looks like she still isn’t normal after all that mystic weirdness! I’ll take care of her, don’t worry.”

“Wait! April! Where are you taking her-!?…..Aaaand she’s gone. This only confirms my suspicions. I have to find the NFIF group, that Donnie should share my doubts.” He begins walking again.

DvD is surprised when he sees a portal open and 3/4 of the counterpart turtles already gone. He picks up the pace to catch the last member, which luckily is the one he wanted to speak with.

“Dee!”

NFIF Donnie turns his head back.

“If it isn’t the big hero that got rid of the spores.”

“You’re leaving? Without saying goodbye?”

“We said it before, don’t you remember?”

DvD furrows his drawn on eyebrows.

“No…? Wait….vaguely….?”

Dee smiles faintly.

“Tough last day of the competition?”

“I thought when we took care of those spores everything would feel normal again, but it doesn’t. It’s the last day but I don’t feel like anything is truly over.”

Dee turns his whole body around at those words.

“I get it. After I dealt with them the first time, I thought I’d never have to feel the way I did again. We destroyed it. It was supposed to be done. Then we came here and everything just repeated. I was changed, but they were exactly the same. The mod always said no fighting, it’s supposed to be this safe magic space. The truth? It’s so the authors can see us suffer, even if they don’t bother to show their face.”

DvD feels another change. Or, maybe, this was what he felt before. He’s just feeling it stronger now.

“What is going on? Are you causing this? What did you do?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just telling you what this all really was. I need to get back to my brothers.”

DvD looks at the portal.

“Are they really in there?”

“Technically they’re on the other side-“

DvD suddenly pushes past him and goes through the portal despite the attempts to stop him from doing so.

He takes a gasp of breath as he sits up. There’s a bunch of spores clouding his vision that he waves away. It’s then he sees the reality of the situation.

Everyone in the competition is unconscious on the ground, surrounded by spores and mushrooms. It’s dark in the room but lit up by the eery glow of everything. His brothers are laying near him, Misa tucked under both Raph and Mikey’s arms. April and Karai are there too, although Karai has been moved away from the group slightly. He might be the only one awake.

Or that’s what he thinks, until he sees Dee in front of him.

He’s sitting next to his sleeping brothers. Vines are wrapped around their hands. It doesn’t look painful, more….reassuring in a way. His eyes are glowing somewhat, but not fully.

“Of course it had to be you who broke out. Karai almost did too, did she use her chance to help you instead? Typical.”

“You’re the one who did all this.” DvD hisses.

“Karai warned you. Betrayed by a friend.”

“You spored me! You freed the mushroom! Why!?”

“It promised me the power to keep everyone safe from whatever is back in their universes! All I had to do was add my own nanobots to it so it can generate and feed off emotions other than fear.”

“It’s just using you! It wants to have everyone from every universe!”

Dee stands up, vines keeping him off his feet.

“Good! We’ve been brought here although we’re just kids! I watched everyone suffer with those asks, yeah I did! And for what!? You know our worlds will never be ours! Not as long our authors rule over the stars!”

DvD reaches for his tech bō, Dee sends vines that grab it and him, holding him closer in front of him.

“So I’ll do anything.”

A vine breaks the bō.

“I don’t care if I hurt anyone.”

Dee tightens the vine around DvD.

“It doesn't pay to be a good kid, a good kid, a good creation.” He tears up.

DvD struggles heavily.

“The authors were never on our side, so I think it’s time we watch them fall!” Dee turns to look at the device for the competition that tracks and sorts universes.

“And soon you'll see what I did, soon there’ll be no other worlds at all!”

“What are you talking about!?”

“If there’s only one world, this world, and I’m in charge, we’ll be safe from everything. Forever. No Kraang, no invasions, no bad futures, not even fear.”

“You’re crazy!”

“Maybe I am! But you’d do the same if it kept your Mikey safe! You’re lucky that you don’t have to make the decision! I’m doing it for you! Your whole family is seeing whatever they want! You could be doing the same!”

“I don’t want your fake happiness! Grow up and realize that you can’t just fix everything bad that happens!”

Dee grabs him harshly by the face.

“Watch me.”

[thepropertylovers]

A Family-Filled Fun Day

Yesterday felt like it was the perfect way to spend a day with our kids before we leave to go out of town.

In case you don’t follow us on Instagram, we mentioned earlier this week that we’re leaving to go out of the country today actually (!), and it will be the longest we’ve ever been away from the kids. And we’re nervous. We’ve never been away from them for more than three of four days, so the thought of being gone eight or nine days feels strange.

We keep asking them if they will be okay or if they think they will miss us too badly and be sad or scared, but (luckily) they just keep saying they can’t wait for us to leave so they can do things like stay up a little later and chew gum, haha. They will be staying with our moms as they take turns watching them for the next week and a half, and they are a little less strict than we are, which I’m happy about. Everyone needs a break every now and then.

So I think we’re the ones who will have a hard time being away from them for so long, which I am also happy about. I would much rather us be the ones crying over them than the other way around.

Yesterday was spent with fun and exciting times with each of the kids in a totally unplanned way. We started with Allan.

His entire 2nd grade class took a field trip to our farm!! That’s right, we had 40 or so eight year olds running around Ocoee Farm and it was the biggest burst of joy for a few hours. They all took turns petting the chickens and holding goslings (they found a way to keep pooping on me over and over again). They fed the sheep and pigs carrots and celery and laughed/screamed when the donkeys sneezed on them.

Allan had a blast showing the kids around the farm, his playground when he gets home from school every day. I know how much joy he must have felt to have all of his friends and teachers in his happy place, a place he’s been to a million times but that they’re seeing with fresh, curious eyes. To him, it’s his backyard. To them, it was the reason for an entire field trip.

There was time for a Q&A and PJ answered about 100 questions on the pavilion about our animals and the farm. It was so cute to hear their little questions about everything and nothing. I love the way kids’ minds work. So curious. And PJ did so well!! He used to be a camp counselor and is used to speaking to and educating groups of kids, so he was a natural. All his old training came back to him, or seemingly never left? Either way, he was fabulous.

Beau was there to help out, too, and even grabbed some photos of the morning. Thank you so much, Beau!!!

After that, we got a message from Anna’s teacher saying they would be getting out of school early because their A/C is broken and it was 80 degrees in their classroom. Yikes. So we headed to the school to get her. We spent an hour with our girl, just the three of us, as we listened to her tell us about her day and watched her eat her new favorite snack: a giant heated-up-in-the-microwave marshmallow. The girl has an affinity for sweets.

After about an hour and a half, it was time to head back to school for Riah’s kindergarten program. It’s crazy to me that he will be in FIRST grade next year. What? How? When did this happen and where was I? Our youngest son can’t be in first grade already. Time hasn’t made sense for the last few years, but the fact that he will be a first grader in just a few months is something my brain can’t comprehend.

We sat in the first row as he and his classmates performed quite a few songs in front of a crowded auditorium of proud parents and supportive family members. It was the cutest. Riah had the biggest smile on his face the whole time, in between looking a little reserved and nervous. He did so well, though. There was also a slideshow of the whole year with the background music being “Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift, which was a perfect choice by his teacher, if I do say so myself.

Then it was time for certificates. The principal called each of the kindergartners’ names and they took turns walking across the stage, collecting their certificate in the process. Before kids, I had always thought of kindergarten graduations as pointless and silly. Now though, I thought it was the sweetest thing ever, and I know we were both so proud of him for such a wonderful year. He has had the best teacher and we wish she was still going to be in the same position next year so that Anna could have her!

After his program, we checked him and Allan out of school for the rest of the day to spend it together at home before we all headed out to eat and go to Walmart for last minute things before our trip.

Now we are at the airpot waiting for our flight, and I am writing this from one of the seats in the terminal. It’s only been a few hours but we’re already missing them so badly. Walking through the airport and seeing all the little kids running around with their little suitcases is only reminding us of traveling with our kids, and how much we love it. They do so well in airports and on planes and it really is so fun to travel and take them places and show them somewhere new. Hoping for a lot of that this summer!!

Next time we check in will be from Barcelona, so here’s to a safe flight!!!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

UNFORTUNATELY?? Nay….I say that the hair gel jokes are one of the highlights of his character…package deal yk….i know EXACTLY which panel you’re referring to HAHA I think every Karasu fan has that hiding in a little corner of the brain somewhere….but also I really wanna know what made him chose that specific shape Ike I get shaping it up but bro really said lemme make it pointy and sharp in the front too…like let me extend this far beyond my forehead….anyways…

But I TOTALLY feel you!!! I’m not much of a shipper myself either (both in BLLK and general media), just here to enjoy the hype and the goofy little men kicking balls! I do love the dynamics between characters though (like Barou and Chigiri, Karasu and Hiori, Otoya and Karasu, nagi and Barou, etc there’s too many LOL) but I’ve just never felt the seen anything really romantically although I don’t mind other ppl doing so! Maybe Karasu lovers are just on another wavelength bc I resonate a lot with what you said LOL I love analyzing lore and everything and seeing the different interactions and dynamics between characters, but I’ve never felt the need to push a specific romantic agenda to develop my understanding of them or their background…They’re so silly though I love those little almost slice of life moments where they’re just doing the funniest things…speaking of slice of life the bowling off day I cannot wait for that to be animated BUT what are your thoughts on tabieitaken outfits…I’ve heard mixed reviews and would love to hear your take LMAO

And LMAO RIN’S ENTRANCE so funny I fr lost it when I heard his theme music playing like oh my

I also only really consume the sub content and I agree!! I think it’s really cool how they hired some smaller/less known jp vas and how well they fit!!! Esp like Isagi and Bachira I think their voices are also perfect for them! I’m also really hoping eightbit puts their heart and soul into animating 2nd selection ppl bc I will also not survive if they’re all done dirty

And UGH HIORI I’m ngl I feel like he’s almost kinda a package deal with Karasu kinda like how Otoya is like….by default since I like Karasu those two end up growing on me too and I’m gonna be real I think your work (both white butterfly and the Hiori cameos in the Karasu series) have been converting me even more….its like I’ve been enlightened fr but their dynamic is so hilarious!! I agree I also thought that it was Karasu who was more interested in Hiori but then the LIGHT NOVEL HAHAHAHA I’m so glad they made that!! I’m crossing my fingers for an Otoya and Karasu version too!! I know the Yukimiya chapter is coming out this month so YAYY

The BLLK cast just has too many good characters it’s like my favs have to evolve to keep up LOLLL as of rn at the top it’s basically Karasu and like I’ve mentioned a little earlier Hiori is really growing on me too….esp in the latest manga chapters too like seeing him genuinely smile I’m like omg my boy!!! I think I’m probably a little biased too just because I also love his hair color like…coincidentally my fav shade of blue….Other than those two I’d say probably Chigiri!!! He’s so sassy I love it, and then Otoya nagi and Rin are a close second….its so hard to choose I’d fr just make an in depth tier list if I had the motivation LMAO but yeah uhh tldr in approximate ordered ranking…Karasu, Hiori, Chigiri, nagi, Otoya, rin….i think…..

You’re real for that though….the duality of nagi…6’3 squishable man fr…I also love the little miffy expression he makes it’s so cute <33

Also ugh yeah….fanon mischaracterization….really not it…I agree the mischaracterization for Rin is INSANE and NAGI TOO?? I definitely didn’t like Rin as much before but I think he also eventually grew on me when I realized he’s kinda just a dork who doesn’t know how to act and is dealing with some crap….luckily I don’t see as much mischaracterization of Nagi here specifically but generally in the fandom I know ppl say some wild things like throwing around that he’s a red flag or something and I’m like….are we talking about the same person? The dude who can’t even be bothered to wake up and dress himself like…Ofc diff interpretations can bring more interesting ideas and ppl are welcome to interpret things differently but yeah some I feel take a little too much artistic liberty…or straight up just make up facts but :/

And THANK YOU HAHA I’ll always have plenty of thoughts for you LMAO I’m like spilling all of my BLLK thoughts here and I love just chatting with you <3

YOU’RE SO RIGHT it’s not karasu if his hair isn’t getting made fun of just a bit 😭 pleaseee that panel is nightmare fuel HAHA i have to respect his commitment to the crow aesthetic though so i can’t hate too much 😫 he had a bit and he WENT for it

YESYES i love platonic relationships sm more!! writing and reading good friendships will always be far more enjoyable to me than romances especially rushed ones. tabieita and barounagi (as well as nagisagi to a certain extent) are my fav duos in the manga i feel like there’s always some silly nonsense going on when they’re onscreen. the nagi isagi barou trio from second selection can never be topped imo they were SO funny together but also balanced each other out super well?? super enjoyable overall. heheh i think it’s because only cool people like karasu so we’re always linked up 🫡

i feel pretty neutral abt otoya and yuki’s outfits…i think of the three yuki’s was my least fav but he still looked good!! otoya’s was a little goofy but it fit him so well that i can’t hate. and possibly an unpopular opinion but i LOVED karasu’s fit in the bowling chapters!! sorry but a man in a turtleneck will always get me going and tbh the trench coat made him look very mature and respectable so i loved it!! i also just love men who dress like grandparents tbf so that might be why. i feel like i have seen slander abt it but i was like 😲😍 when i saw it

RIN’S THEME HAS ME HOWLING EVERY TIME I HEAR IT BRUH WHY IS IT SO DRAMATIC HE’S SO STUPID (<- affectionate) KFDHSKKS although tbf barou’s lion growling and chigiri’s guitar solo aren’t any less over the top…smth abt rin’s specifically is insane to me though like he is fr trying out for a part in attack on titan or smth

okay honestly hiori has been growing on me for the same reasons which is hilarious because i feel like i wrote him so differently in white butterfly vs fwtkac?? like in wb he’s so sad and ghostly and sickeningly in love vs in fwtkac he’s just karasu x y/n’s goofy little shadow that they are mystified by but cannot help loving 😭 i think that’s a good example though of how the same character can be written differently while still seeming in character!! i actually have a couple more hiori requests that i’m going to work on once i’m done with the karasu ones so you have that to look forward to if you’re a fan of him as well 💖

ALL OF THE LIGHT NOVELS ARE SO OUT OF POCKET…craziest parts to me are when a bunch of girls refuse to wake up/talk to/touch nagi because they think he’s the cursed child of the devil and hiori trying to follow karasu home but then getting caught and #pranked by crow boy. i feel like an otoya ln would just be his extensive dating history FJDJSKAB but tbh i would read!! and ofc a karasu one would be super fun asw. i feel like if there were ones written abt yuki and ARYU of all characters there definitely will be ones for those two!! fingers crossed anyways

you’re so real for that…my top three has been p solid for a while now (nagi, karasu, barou) but four and five change so frequently HAHAH i think atm i would say in order it’s nagi, karasu, barou, reo, and maybe kaiser or one of the itoshi bros?? but only MY versions of them JDDHSK. otoya is a character i cannot help but slander though he is growing on me for sure and chigiri is an hm because i’m not attracted to him per se but he’s like my bestie yk. speaking of otoya slander omg i am so sorry in advance but he gets DOGGED on in the next part of fwtkac 😭😭😭 it’s all in good fun though but it had to happen alas

EVERY TINE NAGI GOES :x I SQUEAL he’s so cuteee but also enormous?? he’s just a big fluffy koala i love him and i want to carry him around in my pocket and take care of him forever 🥹

ohhh the mischaracterization of those two is frightening!! like no i’m sorry nagi would NOT be a cheater 😰 he’s not even that bad tbh!! he reminds me a lot of someone suffering from heavy depression and burnout…which especially considering how his light novel goes and the fact that his parents basically neglect him it’s v understandable??? he’s honestly a very sad character when you examine him on a deeper level 😕 and RIN PLEASEEE i think some people saw a hot talented dark haired character and decided he had to behave in a certain way when he’s really just an insecure unfriendly loser 😭🙏🏻 imo karasu yukimiya and aiku are what fanon rin wishes he was!!! i do think diff interpretations are fun and i’m the first to make a character ooc if that’s what i need for a fic — what gets me is when the ooc version becomes the widely accepted version of them and you can’t find anything else if that makes sense!! i wouldn’t mind ONE fic of nagi being a red flag because okay drama 🤩 but when people (more so on tik tok than her fs) act like that’s actually who he is i’m just like oh ��

YAYYY i love talking to you as well!! as i’m sure you can tell by my extensive replies i am nothing if not a chatter…also kinning y/n’s bff in the saturday date oneshot of fwtkac because i did in fact respond to this while on the treadmill 😭 one thing abt me i will be chronically online so whenever you want to talk i’ll probably respond relatively quickly for the most part!! as long as i’m not out and abt with my friends or smth hehe

[pocket-elf]

New Years questionnaire for 2023/24

(Haven't been on tumblr much the past couple of months, nor have I done this for the past four years but hey, I'm here so lets. I know there are several in my archive. Tbh I think I probably used to use this template on Livejournal back in the day! I've made some edits through the years, including this one)

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before?  I got a job that isn't a temp thing! Sure my previous job was three years in the same place but it was a temp position. This one is solid, if I want to stay. I don't plan to in the long run but it's secure for now. I listened to a lot of new to me music as well. Other than that I don't feel there were any never-done-before type things.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t do resolutions but I did some crafting goals, which I did NOT keep. I did finish all my reading challenges though! For 2024 I will keep going with reading challenges but nothing else I think.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No. My friend's mother did though so I was there for her when she needed some support.

5. What countries did you visit? Cambodia and Vietnam. And technically Denmark as the Copenhagen airport is my closest big international airport.

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023? The answer to that is always a girlfriend haha. Girls where you at? Hit me up.

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory? I can’t remember dates like ever. But I'm trying to remember January 8th and February 4th as the two dates the emo ball started rolling properly this year. January 8th being the day I bought customs maps in Beat Saber (which really is what started it all) and February 4th being the day I took a walk into town for some candy and had the thought "What if I check out what Fall Out Boy have been up to lately" and then it all just well... really fucking snowballed.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I guess landing a job finally, that I don't detest with my whole being.

9. What was your biggest failure? I don't know. I suppose not making as much as I wanted to. That's always the case. But this year it's been very little. Probably cause my style changed so much.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I fell with my bike in May and scraped up my knees and glasses. twisted my shoulder which ende dup giving me trouble in the long run. My right knee took a while to heal from the bad surface wounds (luckily no joint damage) which but stress on my hip and made that problematic. But that cleared up with an intense round of ibuprofen and rest. Elbow is acting up though, probably from work. But I was lucky with the bike fall. Just a few weeks later a friend of my parents collided with another cyclist and ended up in the ICU with brain haemorrhage, fractured skull/ear, needing surgery for arm fractures, etc.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Oh man... I suddenly have had income to spend. Tbh I should probably say plane tickets, cause I really needed that Cambodia vacation. But also like, my whole wardrobe got an overhaul.

12. Did you try any new crafts? (new/replaced question) I made a rag rug on a big loom! It was good fun. I finished weaving in spring but then both me and mum kinda never finished the edges... I guess that's something I need to do in 2024. For the first time I also started working on a big complicated cross stitch. I've done easy things like lil text bits etc, but for my trip I decided cross stitch would be the best to bring for long flight etc as it doesn't take up much space. And ended up converting a still from the video for Black Parade which had me work with like... 10 different shades of blue or something. The main parts are done, I just need to decide what to do about all the white bits (stitches or raw aida) and how to finish the edges as that depends on how I want to display it or what to do with it after. But it was so satisfying to do!

13. Did your home change in any way? (new/replaced question) Kitchen had a big refresh with new floor, painted cabinets/drawers, and new stove/oven. I didn't start the bedroom gallery wall this year but it's been growing a bit. I did however start the living room gallery wall. Turning the lounge half of the living room (the other is sewing space) more and more kinda witchy feeling. Swapped the curtains out for dark blue velvet to go with the lamp and armchair. Got a gorgeous blanket from Disturbia to put in the armchair too so it's all really coming together.

14. Where did most of your money go? Not counting things like rent and food... probably clothes. Gods so many band shirts. No actually let's just say merch. Cause last like, couple of weeks I've bought vinyl and books and such. I did also buy a computer though... but that hasn't reached me yet.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Music. this year has been my year of emo and I love that for me.  

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2023? Oh that's hard considering everything. BUT, So Much (for) Stardust was actually released this year, and I fell hard into Fall Out Boy early enough to actually wait for the album (even if mercifully short compared to the rest of you) So probably all of the songs on that album. But Heaven, Iowa literally made me cry the first time I head it soooo

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Probably happier? At least less worried. I was actually very content not working but money runs out and I was starting to get frustrated by the near hits in interviews, and worried about not getting any more money come spring. ii. thinner or fatter?  Maybe the same? I was walking more last winter but now I bike. But something I will say though, my body image has improved a lot. Thanks emo crowd?? iii. richer or poorer? Oh for sure richer. I've had a salary! I've been able to save money.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Sewing. Spending time with friends. Definitely wish I would've played more games.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? I mean... working. But no choice in that really.

20. How will you be spending Christmas and New Years? Christmas I spent with my parents having a good dinner and watching my favourite Swedish quiz show. Very chill. It's currently 25 minutes to midnight as I type this answer. I'm in comfy clothes just chilling in bed. I'm gonna try to time Welcome To The Black Parade for a "Carry on" at midnight. EDIT: I didn't even finish this whole thing before midnight. And yes, Black Parade is absolutely perfection for this occasion.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? Eron I guess? We've spent a lot of time talking in VR as well.

22. Did you fall in love in 2023? Funnily enough this was my answer in 2018, and is this year again: With music yes. 

23. Did you try any new exciting food? (there used to be a question about one night stands here but finally I am changing it) I tried to be open to new things in Cambodia. Tried a couple new fruits, really liked the classic Khmer dish loc lac, and omg in Hoh Chi Minh during our lil trip to Vietnam I found a Japanese bakery that had possibly the best pastry I've ever had... a sweet potato bun that looked like a purple sweet potato and was filled with some kind of sweet potato goo. And it was still a bit warm when I got it. Absolutely insane. Reminded me a bit of almond paste but fluffier and ofc not almond. And at the same bakery i got a hokkaido melon bun that was also heavenly.

24. What was your favourite TV programme? Our Flag Means Death

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Not hate, but I dislike some people at work and such ofc.

26. What was the best book you read? The big surprise came this summer with Where Are Your Boys tonight? by Chris Payne. First of all I was weary of the format, and second of all. if you had asked me this time last year I would NEVER have guessed a book with the subtitle The Oral History of Emo's Mainstream Explosion 1999-2008 would even enter my reading obit, let alone become the book of the year. And I knew as soon as i had read maybe half of it that it would be that, no matter what I read the second half of the year.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? I mean... just like, so much? But I guess falling properly in love with Fall Out Boy (I had listened to Save Rock and Roll for a bit back in the day but never really went back to first era or did more than give AB/AP a quick look when it came out) just gave me so much. It was what started it all and I love them dearly. I have never listened to My Chemical Romance, and I even said early this spring "At least I won't listen to My Chemical Romance" as I was falling into the FOB trap. Yeah... that did NOT hold up. At all. They're up there in the faves now.

28. What did you want and get? A new job.

29. What did you want and not get? We all know the answer to that: MCR5

30. What was your favourite film of this year? I didn't watch that many new movies that ween't like, shitty Hallmak tbh. But maybe Red, White & Royal Blue?

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 36. I worked, but left a little early to go home to my parents where my brother and niblings were visiting. So played with them, had dinner and cake.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Maybe getting a job that I was excited about and fit my wishes better than what I have. Don't get me wrong though, I am very relieved to have what I have now. I don't hate it and I get paid alright. I guess falling in love and having a happy relationship would've probably been amazing but we're not even close to anything like that so

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? "Oops we went a bit emo didn't we?". I used to be all about skirts and dresses. Never really wore pants. Now my go to outfit is skinny jeans and a band tee and I never thought I'd be here again (well it was never band shirts, but graphic shirts at least) My wardrobe is dark again. Dressing up for Christmas I just went full goth. I am basically going back to my youth but now I have money and can do what I want. And somehow I like my body BETTER in skinny jeans and a tee. My waist isn't even defined??? But yeah, I've always felt drawn to that like, darker alt stuff, even if it hasn't shown since high school. But whenever it pops up on instagram or what have you I go "aw, yeah... nah too much work. And for the young'uns" etc. So now when it has been realised in a form that works for me in my mid 30s it just feels... right. A homecoming of sorts. Finally here it is. It will of course change and evolve too, and I have never been a hardcore single style kind of girl anyway. But that thing that has been buried but stirring for 15 years is finally free again.

33b. Any other changes to your looks this year? Cut off my hair (I have buzzed sides now for the first time too! I've had it all buzzed and overall cut short, but never this kind of do) and we're back to bright colours. Trying partly blue for the first time and loving it. Also added two tattoos, a second big jellyfish on my left arm (which is currently healing and needs touch ups) as well as a trio of macaronies on my stomach (a souvenir from Cambodia) Also started wearing more rings on an everyday basis as well as shoved a stud earring through a half closed hole in my left ear so now I have an ear climber there, and got a cuff for the other. Also started wearing a small faux septum ring (can't pierce my nose, have to many nasal issues)

34. What kept you sane? Music and talking to people online.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don't fancy people per se, but all them emo dads are dear to my heart.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? I am just so very tired. But gods, Palestine.

37. Who did you miss? Always friends.

38. Who was the best new person you met? I guess Daniela? She's a good coworker.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023. Just cause you're in your mid 30s doesn't mean you can't change, or take back what you liked about your youth and had just been dormant for a while.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I asked Jacey to help me with this and her suggestion was "I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker colour", which is hilarious considering the drastic change of my wardrobe. But there IS other colour in there. Like green. So let's go with

So paint it black and take it back Let's shout it loud and clear Defiant to the end, we hear the call

To carry on, we'll carry on

Last time (end of 2018) I added some new ones, for looking to the future:

41. What is the thing you most look forward to in 2024? I don't actually know! I have no big plans yet. So I think what I look most forward to is to see what kind of good surprises will show up. And where my musical journey will take me.

42. What is the first thing you look forward to in 2024? Minor things: All the stuff I've ordered (and gifts from friends) arriving. Setting up the turntable I really hope I get next week, and buying a shelf/side table thing at IKEA and covering it in contact paper to make a turntable stand and emo shelf in the living room. But bigger: Callie visiting in May.

43. Any upcoming releases make you excited? I will keep hoping for MCR5. I mean they have to be working on that, I refuse to give up hope. And I'm actually curious about the new season of Doctor Who. Haven't watched that for years, but watched the anniversary eps and the Christmas special.

44. Do you have any big plans for the coming year? Like I said, no big plans! I have friends visiting in May and October. I have no idea what to do about vacation. Was thinking about a hiking week with dad but don't know. I have no tickets bought for anything. Hoping a tour with some band I like comes my way (second Europe leg of Tourdust please! I couldn't make it to Berlin. Make it closer next time)

45. What is something you want to accomplish in 2024? I would really like to go to a concert. Is that accomplishing something? I don't know. But yeah. I would really like to nail a tshirt pattern though.

Adding some stat ones:

46. Number of books read According to Goodreads, 59. Which does include a few kids books and a few comic books that weren't like full graphic novels/collections. 2022 was abysmal so my reading goal was low to start with and I increased it a few times. So I'm very happy with 59.

47. Number of movies watched Letterboxd says 64 individual ones, but with some rewatched (like watching YBC like eight times) it's 71. That does include a couple shorts, and like I said also Young Blood Chronicles. But I didn't log the Doctor Who specials that I did see the last few days some of my friends having done. Never even consider checking if they were there cause it's such a tv series kind of thing for me. If we would count those it'd be 75.

48. How was Spotify Wrapped? Top artists were Fall Out Boy (for whom I was in the 0.01% even!) and MCR. Followed by TAI, Dunes, and Gerard. I knew FOB would win when only half the year had passed cause I had done such a sound bath and didn't stop listening after that. But MCR did well. And they both fought in the top 5 songs, coming out at Love From The Other Side, Sharpest Lives, Heaven Iowa, Foundations of Decay, and 27. The last one was actually a conscious effort the last week to bump it with just a few extra listens over some Black Parade song (I Don't Love you maybe?) because it has such a special place in my heart for some reason. Genre wise Spotify really sucked this year. Somehow I didn't even get a top five which is what you should get, and instead just modern rock and pop punk. How this year has been "modern rock" I do not know. How is there no emo or at least alt rock in there? Or even like... indie or something for my lil side step to The Amazing Devil which I liked listening to at work sometimes. Or whatever they count Hozier as. I should have gotten three more genres!

45. How many tattoos are we at now? When you don't stop at two, or maaaaybe three, there is absolutely no stopping. So with two new ones this year we're at 8. 2024 will definitely bring at least another.

[avenging-criminal-bones]

After All This Time || Chapter Two

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 1457

Summary: You being a new recruit pissed SSA Aaron Hotchner off. You being smart enough to give Spencer Reid a run for his money pissed him off even more. Really, he just despised your presence. Hated your every move.

Until one day, he just… didn’t.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: general canon level violence, they talk about a new case, more angry Hotch, more angry reader

A/N: I'm excited that so many people want me to tag them! It's technically only like eight haha, but it's still so cool to me that people want to be told when I'm posting.

TAGLIST:

@kingofthetwats @wanniiieeee @uwu-sebastianstan @piggyinthesea @yoshigguk @thatisthemagic @errorcosplay67 @ivebeenthinkingboutu @big-galaxy-chaos @rynfoxsleeps

* * * * *

Chapter Two

Five months later, and you were still sitting at your desk in the late hours of the night. 12:34 AM. Too late. You had been staying at the bureau after hours to make it look like you were already taking this job as seriously as you could. To be fair, you were taking it seriously, but you figured the late hours being noticed would be a benefit.

So when your phone rang, you answered it immediately.

"L/N."

"Hey, Y/N, it's JJ. Can you come in for a case? Hotch just called and woke me up. I know it's pretty late, but it's a pretty bad one, we're going to Michigan."

"Yeah, not a problem. I wasn't asleep yet." You don't lie necessarily, but it's a half-truth for sure. JJ doesn't need to know that you were already at the BAU building, less than fifty feet away from the briefing room where you would all be meeting.

"Great, thanks Y/N. See you soon."

She clicks off the phone and you sigh before pushing yourself off of the desk.

"L/N." You almost drop the coffee you had been about to sip as you spun around in your swivel chair.

"Yes, sir?" You ask casually, deciding it was better to play dumb.

"Stand."

Obeying your order, you narrow your eyes and stand up, squaring your shoulders and trying to look bigger than you are.

"Now, explain." Hotchner stands in front of you, arms crossed.

"Explain what? That I'm here and we have a case?" You shake your head as you turn away from him.

"Did I say you could turn, Agent?" His voice sends a shiver through your core and you mentally slap yourself. Now is not the time.

Spinning back around, you catch a glimpse of Derek and Garcia walking in to the briefing room. "We have a case, Hotchner. Let's ignore the fact that I was just doing my paperwork and get in there please." It takes everything in you to turn away a second time. You bend down and grab your shoes, sliding them onto your feet before walking away from him and into the room.

You can feel his gaze on your back, but you ignore it, slipping through the conference room door and letting it fall shut behind you.

"Hey guys." You greet as you sit down.

"Hot mama-"

"Hey, beautiful-"

Derek and Penelope greet you at the same time, causing you two girls to giggle and Derek to stifle his laugh because, 'men don't giggle'.

The three of you exchange small talk until the others walk in, most of them looking like they had been in the deep clutches of sleep.

Spencer's already messy hair looked ten times worse, and Emily wasn't wearing a bra, which she was subtly trying to hide by hunching her shoulders forward.

She sits beside you and you send her the 'you good?' look.

"Don't even mention it, Y/N." She threatens lightly with a laugh before Rossi, JJ, and Hotchner walked in.

You kept your gaze down, but you knew his eyes were on you.

"Garcia, you have the slideshow pulled up?" JJ asks gently, knowing that the other blonde woman absolutely despised cases like this. Really the whole team did.

"Yeah... It's a doosy, team. Not pretty at all." She shakes her head and starts the slideshow before handing the tablet to JJ.

"Okay. Ariel Stanton, Franklin Lewis, and Ella Craft. Three kids, all mutilated with their heads severed and preserved. Their bodies were found in the same area of the Raisin River in Petersburg, MI. The heads-"

Penelope got up then and mumbled a string of 'I'm sorries' before all but running out the door.

Your fingers clutched at the dress pants you were wearing as JJ asked, "Does anyone else need to leave before I keep going?"

A collective shake of the team's heads is enough to convince JJ that she can keep going.

"Their heads were all found beside the river bank, fully intact. Two of the bodies came with a note to the precinct, it read: "Fear me, for I have God on my side. God will help me cleanse the Earth of its sinners. These children had to go, for they were not with God.""

You start speaking when the profile is complete, "Okay, so the references to God and doing His work suggests that this unsub sees himself as holier than thou. Most likely a man, age 30-40 and probably grew up in a family that was very religious; they would have prayed before meals and there would be records of this family donating very generously to the church that they attended."

"No. That profile is wrong, L/N. If you had paid any attention, you'd know that the use of the word 'cleanse' means that he thinks these "sinners" are dirty, he's not thinking that he is necessarily better. I don't need your input again."

"Hotch come-"

"You do not have the right to call me that. My team calls me that. To you, I am Agent Hotchner." His gaze was cold, but there was something there.

"Fine. I'll be on the jet." You stand up and as you bend to pick your purse off the ground, Emily whispers in your ear.

"I agreed with you. I'll brief you on the jet."

You nod once and swiftly walk out of the room, "accidentally" bumping Hotchner on your way out. Luckily, he doesn't say anything about it.

Later on the jet, you have your headphones in and are listening the your favorite song of the week. Your taste in music changes frequently, but right now, you were into the old rock and were listening to Journey.

Your lips press into a hard line when you see Hotchner walking up to you. Taking your headphones out and sit up straighter.

"What do you want?" Your voice is bratty and you sigh, quirking an eyebrow up at him.

"I uh, am here to apologize. Rossi thinks it's necessary that I say 'I'm sorry'. So here I am."

You just stare at him.

"What, Y/N?"

"You had something to say?" You cross your arms and lean back in the seat.

His eyebrows furrow when he thinks about what you said and gets a bit confused. "What do you mean? I just said it."

"Oh, did you?" You turn to Spencer, who was sitting across from you, and said, "Did you hear what Hotchner just said?"

"Uh, yeah. I did, why?" He looks up from the book he was reading.

You smirk slightly at Hotch before saying, "Can you use that amazing brain of yours to tell me what he said?"

""I uh, am here to apologize. Rossi thinks it's necessary that I say 'I'm sorry'. So here I am." Why did you need that?" He says after repeating the sentences word for word.

Hotch glares at you a bit as you shrug your shoulders.

"I don't know... I just didn't hear an apology in that." You bat your eyelashes up at the older man and add, "You said that Rossi told you to apologize, but you never said that you were sorry."

"Really, L/N? You want me to get on my knees and beg you?" He asks, spitting the words out like incredulous knives.

You keep the snide tone as you reply, "If you'd like to get on your knees, I may be more inclined to accept the imminent apology."

"Don't be a brat, L/N. I get that some of your past lovers may have liked that, but it has no place in this team. I am still your superior and I recommend you treat me like one."

He walks away without having ever apologizing, and you're left there with your jaw on the floor from his parting message.

"-Yeah! And then he was like, 'Don't be a brat. Your ex probably liked it but I'm your superior-"

"O-M-G, O-M-G. What did you say back to him?!" A very excitable Emily asks from you shared hotel room in Michigan.

"Nothing. I couldn't say anything to him because he just spun and WALKED. AWAY." You nod your head at her, your eyebrows raising as you conveyed your own disbelief at the story. "Yeah, it was horrible. I was so mad."

Emily wiggles her eyebrows, causing you to shake your head.

"Whaaat? No. No!"

"Yeah, Y/N. There's some MAD sexual tension between you two."

"Oh, get out!"

As you laugh at her statement, you pick up the pillow behind you and hit her in the side of the head with it.

"You're gonna get it now."

Faking a gasp, you stand and say, "Is that a threat, Emily?"

"Yes. Now run, bitch."

Yu both giggle and spend the night acting like teenagers again. You didn't have time to think about Aaron if you wanted to which you... no.

You didn't want to.

[siriusly-addicted-to-writing]

I’m in love with him

Pairing: Draco x Slytherin!female!reader 

Summary: Draco and [Y/N] are best friends, but one fight, and one certain boy, threatens their friendship.

Warning(s): cussing, underage drinking, drunk reader (honestly kind of bad but I had to get something out here, unedited to add to the bad of it, but um, hope you like it!)

Masterlist

X-X-X-X-X-X

This is for Dee’s [ @obsessedwithrandomthings ] writing challenge! I’m sorry it’s so late! I’ve been very busy and uninspired but I finally found inspiration and time! I hope you like it!

Prompt: “Yeah, well - fuck you too!” in bold!

X-X-X-X-X-X

“You know Draco? I can’t believe you’ve decided to change,” [Y/N] says. She glares at the platinum blond boy next to her. Her best, and only, friend Draco Malfoy. 

“I didn’t change, you prat. You’re making it all up,” he says rolling his eyes at the girl next to him.

[Y/N] and Draco have been friends for as long as they can remember. ‘Before you started walking,’ Draco’s mom would always say. They grew up together, having sleepovers all the time, and it wasn’t weird. They were like siblings.

But siblings don’t fall in love with each other.

Because Draco has fallen in love with [Y/N]. Over and over and over again. And [Y/N] makes it obvious that she doesn’t reciprocate those feelings. The little hints Draco has given her has never had the response he’s wanted.

For instance, one time she told her she looked beautiful and she said she wasn’t. Draco had to scoff at her for that one. She was more than beautiful. She was gorgeous.

But Draco could see the way she swooned for his arch enemy. Harry freaking Potter. Her eyes aways lit up when she saw him in the hallway. Or when he would just bluntly mumble something when passing the two of them.

She’s always had a soft spot for the boy. Even once the rivalry started, she always told Draco to knock it off. ‘It’s not civil to pick fights with people, Draco.’ he remembered her saying. He shook his head and regained his focus on the girl next to him.

“You did change Draco. I barely know who you are anymore! You’ve been distancing yourself from me!” 

“Oh, that.” Draco puts his head in his hands. How could he be so stupid?

Of course! He didn’t even realize it before. He was distancing himself from her. Slowly, but he was. All out of selfishness. He was trying to get rid of his feelings for her. He didn’t want to love her if she didn’t love him back.

“See! You know you’re doing it! Draco, I swear if you keeping doing this, I’ll- I’ll sit with Harry!” she said crossing her arms. 

“You wouldn’t,” Draco says, glaring at her. He knows perfectly well she will. She can make friends easy enough, but being friends with Draco has restricted her.

“I certainly will!” she says, standing up and starting to walk away.

“Fuck you,” Draco mumbles, mostly to himself. He sees out of the corner of his eyes that [Y/N] tensed. 

She heard him. Shit, she heard him.

“Yea, well- fuck you too!” she says walking away. Draco lets his head fall to the table. 

Yeah, he officially blew it.

------------

[Y/N] walks out of the Slytherin common room, and feeling really strong. Maybe taking a break from Draco would be good for her. A way to expand her friend group. Luckily for her, being a Slytherin didn’t have a negative effect on her. 

In fact, Hermione once asked her to help her with potions. [Y/N] politely declined, saying that she was studying with Draco that evening. Hermione understood but said she’d aways be up for studying with her.

[Y/N] was one of the smartest in her year. Second only to Hermione. Thinking she could start there, she went straight to the library.

Hermione was there. Sitting in the back of the room with her nose stuck in a book. [Y/N] decides to just go and sit down across from her, with no plan. So, she took a deep breath and sat down across from her. 

Hermione peers over her book to see a shyly smiling [Y/N]. Hermione relaxes her expression and lowers her book.

“[Y/N]! So lovely to see you!” Hermione smiles sweetly at [Y/N]. 

“I hope it’s not too late to take you up on that studying date?” she asks timidly. Hermione’s smile brightens as she vigorously nods her head.

“Not too late at all!” she exclaims, bursting right into the charms lesson they took that day.

------------

After a short four weeks, [Y/N] and the golden trio were the closest of friends. Harry and Ron were skeptical at first, but ultimately accepted the smart and kind girl from Slytherin.

[Y/N] still say Draco, but all she did was smile at him and continue on her day. She didn’t know she was hurting the boy, because he smiled back and would start talking to whoever he was closest to. 

She thought he was happy without her, and she was happy without him. Right?

Draco wasn't happy, he was dying inside as he watched her laugh at something Weasley would say, exchange notes with Hermione, and share a smile with Harry. Draco has never seen her look at someone like that. She looked at him the way he wished she looked at him. 

But what set Draco off was that Harry started looking at her the way he looked at [Y/N]. The way she looked at him. Draco felt his heart shatter when he realized they loved each other.

Draco started looking dead, to mirror the feeling inside him. [Y/N] noticed, but barely. She would purse her lips and remind herself that Draco didn't want to talk to her. She would move on with Harry as he dragged her down he hallway.

So when Ron and Harry won a quidditch game, [Y/N] was invited to the party in the Gryffindor common room without hesitation. 

------------

“I’m so glad you came [Y/N]!” Harry says as he drags her in the common room. ‘She looks gorgeous tonight,’ Harry thought, ‘not that she doesn’t always.’ She was wearing pair of ripped jeans that brought out her curves, and a tighter black tank top that exposed some of her midriff. 

“Haha, thanks for inviting me Harry,” she says, walking into the party. Ron was in the middle of a bunch of people explaining their victory against Ravenclaw. [Y/N] smiles at the boy and continues to walk around. 

No matter who many times she's been in the Gryffindor common room, it always amazes her how warm and welcoming it is in there. Now filled with people, it makes it seem like such a fun and cozy place. Polar opposite to the Slytherin common room.

[Y/N] continues to look around the room and sees Hermione in the corner with a book in her hand. [Y/N] scoffs and shakes her head. She’ll be taking that book from her shortly.

[Y/N]’s eyes continue to wander around the room. She was looking for someone. When she finally spun in a 360, her eyes landed on a smiling Harry’s. But spotting Harry didn’t satisfy the thought in her head.

‘Where is he?’

Where was who? Because Harry was standing right in front of her. His lips moving, but without sound, gesturing at her to come closer. Tempting her to kiss his lips. 

But if she did, would she ruin her friendship with the boy? Because, yes, it is true. She has feelings for the boy, but does he reciprocate them? 

These were the thoughts that went through her head when Dean Thomas came walking by, offering shots of fire-whiskey to her. She looks at him, then at the glasses, and she takes two.

She walks back over to Harry and offers him a glass. He politely accepts and takes it from her.

“So, I didn’t have the chance to tell you earlier, but congrats on the big win,” she says.

“Thank you,” Harry says, smiling at her.

“Cheers to you, Harry. For being an amazing quidditch player and a spectacular friend,” she says raising her glass.

“And cheers to you, [Y/N]. For being you and always making me smile. You’re the best,” Harry says raising his glass.

“I know,” she says, a smirk playing on her lips. Harry rolls his eyes and clinks his glass against [Y/N]’s. She slowly presses the glass to her lips, unsure if she should drink it. She’s never had fire-whiskey, but this might as well be the first time.

The fire-whiskey burns her throat as it goes down, but the rush feels amazing. But her thoughts were kind of getting fuzzy, but that didn’t stop her from flagging Dean back over, asking for another shot. She needed that rush again.

Just as she was putting the glass to her lips, Harry stops her by gently placing his hands on hers. 

“Wait, you’ll get sick if you have too much,” he says, but she downs it anyway. 

Her thoughts go a little bit fuzzier, but she doesn’t mind it. After all, there was a lot of things on her mind. 

“Wow, Harry! This stuff is amazing,” she says. Her glass slips from her hands. Harry somehow was able to grab it before the glass hit the ground. 

“Okay, no more of that.” Harry grabs her hand before she could signal Dean for another.

“Harry! Let’s dance!” [Y/N] says, as she notices the music that has been playing. Harry places the empty glass on the nearest table and follows [Y/N] out in the crowd. She starts dancing and Harry realizes what an amazing girl she is.

After a few songs later, Harry led [Y/N] off the dance floor. He could tell the alcohol started effecting her. She was pretty tipsy and her face was flush, so Harry decided to take her back to her common room.

“Where are you taking me Harry? I want to dance!” she says, trying to tug herself free of Harry’s grip.

“[Y/N], we are going for a walk,” Harry says, pulling you out the portrait hole. She hums as Harry’s hand slides down her wrist to intertwine with hers. 

“Harry?” she says, turning to face him. She notices the change in scenery around them. They are in the courtyard, and the starts are brightly shining above them.

Harry, removes his hand from hers and brushes her face lightly. She leans into his touch.

‘This is finally happening!’ she thinks.

She leans forward and Harry’s lips touch hers. Her eyes close, but she doesn’t see Harry’s face, no. She see’s Draco’s.

She freezes. Everything is clear now, even with her fogginess to her brain. It’s as if she saw the whole future.

It wasn’t Harry she loved, no. She loved Draco.

“Harry, I don’t mean to be rude, but could you excuse me?” she says, as there pull away from each other. 

“I know where you’re going to go, and please, let me walk you there.” Harry says, not sounding hurt at all that she practically shot him down.

“You’re not upset?” she asks, genuinely confused.

“No, not at all actually. I realized, it’s not you I want either.” He smiles at her. “I mean that in the nicest way possible.” 

Without responding, [Y/N] laughs really hard, and she can’t stop. Harry realizes she’s too drunk to do anything right now. They will have to talk about this later.

“Okay, let’s get you back,” he says, slinging her arm around him.

------------

Draco stares at the fire crackling in the fireplace. He knows [Y/N] went to the party in the Gryffindor tower, and who knew what she was doing now. 

So Draco sits there, in his dead state, thinking of all the ways he can apologize to her. 

But, they were good enough. There wasn’t anything he could say to make things right. 

He screwed up, and that was that. 

And she was happy without him. He couldn’t take that happiness away from her. He couldn’t be that selfish. She deserves to be happy. 

“Harry, I want to go back and dance!” he heard her voice. But, it wasn’t her voice. She sounded off. 

Draco was on his feet immediately. The door swung open and there stood Harry with [Y/N]. Draco could tell with one glance that she was drunk.

“What the hell happened to her?” Draco says, running up to the pair of them.

“Oh Draco! Is that you?” she says, falling into Draco’s arms. Draco catches her with ease, and glares daggers at Harry. 

“She had a few shots of fire-whiskey, and well, I thought I’d bring her here. She was asking for you the whole way.” Harry awkwardly rubs his neck.

Draco looks down at her, and she is smiling up at him. She wanted, wants, him. Not Harry. Him.

“Thank you for bringing her here, Potter,” Draco says, nodding at Harry. Harry nods back then retracts out the door. He had a certain Weasley to find.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Draco says, scooping her up like a child. She puts her face into his chest.

“You’re warm,” she says, and Draco can feel her smile through his shirt. Draco couldn’t help but smile back. He walks up to her room, and somehow made it without being blocked with the enchantments. 

“Stay, won’t you?” she whispers into his chest. Draco sets her on her bed, and she scoots over. “Come on, Draco. I’m not that drunk. That was all an act,” she pauses, “Well, most of it. I’ve got a buzz going on, and I’ll probably have a headache in the morning.”

Draco stares at her bewildered. She was acting? Boy, did he love her.

“As much as I’d like to, you have roommates.” He smirks at her, and she rolls her eyes, patting the bed. Draco sighs and sits down next to her.

“[Y/N], I want to apologize. I-”

“I’ll have to stop you there, Darco. No Draco, sorry. See, I’m not completely sober, so please. Save the apology till later, but I forgive you.” She smiles at Draco and he smiles back.

“Alcohol goes straight to your head doesn’t it?” Draco asks, and she shakes her head, laughing slightly.

“Yeah, but I’m also good at sobering up really fast. I used to drink wine all the time,” she says, smirking at Draco. “I’d also like to apologize, but I’ll save that till when my mind isn’t fuzzy.”

“Okay, [Y/N],” Draco says, rolling his eyes. She rolls onto her side to face Draco. Draco rolls over to look at her. She is beautiful, and she will be more beautiful everyday.

“Hey, Draco?” she says, her eyes starting to close.

“Hmm?” he hums, brushing her hair from her face.

“I love you,” she says. Those three words made Draco’s heart explode. His [Y/N] loves him.

“I love you too,” he whispers, kissing her on the forehead. 

That night, they both feel asleep with a smile playing on their lips and love in their hearts. Tomorrow, and everyday after that, they will go to bed with each other on their minds.

=========

Hope you all enjoyed! 

[captainsolare]

Confessions - Denki Kaminari

Summary: You have a hopeless crush on your classmate Denki Kaminari; Unfortunately, confessing your feelings doesn’t go according to plan. 

A/N: the punch quote is from a prompt list @promptlywritingideas​ wrote! I tried to make this as gender-neutral as possible so I hope it worked out well :) 

Word Count: 1,968

Tags: None that I can see? Please let me know if I need to tag anything!

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Music played as you laid on your bed, feet kicking in the air as you hummed along to the love song that was currently playing. You rolled over, hugging a pillow to your chest as you tried to imagine what it would be like if you were hugging Denki Kaminari instead. You stole a glance at the Polaroid you’d sneakily taken of him and squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment, What would he think if he knew? 

There was a knock on your door and Uraraka appeared in your doorway, rolling her eyes and giving you a pointed look when she realized what you were up to. You turned the music down and sat up, pouting at your friend. “I know what you’re thinking but it’s not what it looks like.” You protested. 

Uraraka joined you on your bed, sitting cross-legged across from you. “I know exactly what you’re thinking. You like Kaminari but for some reason, you think it’s ‘utterly hopeless’, even though you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” She said, adding air quotes to emphasize the words utterly hopeless. You gave her an incredulous look but it quickly turned into a sigh. She was right, you absolutely did think it was hopeless. Kaminari was all over the other people in the class, the girls especially, but he acted differently around you, almost like he was nervous to be in your presence. 

“Well, what do you think I should do then?” You said, rolling the corner of the pillow in between your fingers. Uraraka noticed your nervous habit and gave you a comforting pat on the hand. “Personally, I think you should tell him.” You felt your eyes nearly pop out of your head, “Tell him?! No way!” You protested, heart beating faster at even the thought of admitting your feelings. 

Uraraka tipped her head to the side, preparing to ask you a difficult question. “Let’s put it this way, how would you feel if you didn’t tell him and he moved on? How would it feel to see him with someone else, every single day of that relationship? To see someone else making him happy, all because you didn’t tell him?” 

You sucked in a breath and tried to ignore the tears pooling in your eyes, unprepared for a question like that. You put your arms to the side to support you as you leaned back, opting to look at the ceiling instead of trying to face her, you don’t think you could right now. “If he’s happy, I’ll be happy for him.” Uraraka knew that was a lie, but she didn’t press the issue. She simply placed a comforting hand on your knee, “Just think about it, okay? No matter what happens, you know I’ll be here to support you.” You felt the bed shift as she got up, and you watched her slip out of your bedroom. She momentarily popped her head back in to tell you goodnight, “Goodnight friend!” You called, then the door shut, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

You slumped back onto the bed, love songs still playing softly in the background, and thought about what Uraraka had said. How would you feel? You hadn’t really thought about it if you were being honest, you were too caught up in the feelings of panicking whenever he looked your way, and your heartbeat speeding up as you caught a glimpse of his smile, especially when it was directed at you; you had kind of hoped these feelings would last forever, the awkward yet fun feelings of having a crush, but, you frowned, if someone else was in the picture, you’d be forced to confront the more uncomfortable feelings; the ones revolving around getting over someone. 

You glanced at the picture on your wall again, you’d snapped it on one of your class beach trips, he was on a rocky outcrop with a beaming smile on his face. You had no idea if he knew about it or not, if he did he hadn’t said anything, and you were content to act like it was a secret. Your heart panged at the thought of someone else being with him, holding hands with him, going on dates with him. The thought of someone being all touchy with him during class burned in your chest. Maybe I should tell him… 

For the next few days, you brainstormed ways and places to potentially tell him, but it seemed like the universe was not on your side in this endeavor. By a stroke of luck, you two were picked to go get the groceries together, and you tried to tell him while you were waiting for a train to pass, but just as you began to speak the train came barreling through, drowning out confession #1. You saw your second chance when you caught sight of Kaminari sitting on the couch, the common room empty. You sat on the ottoman across from him and said what you needed to say, when he didn’t respond you started to tear up, but then he pulled an earbud out of his ear, “Oh hey Y/N! Did you say something?”  “Nope! Not a thing!” You replied, standing up and quickly running upstairs to your room. When you arrived, you leapt onto your bed and screamed into your pillow. Foiled by earbuds? Seriously?! 

Your third chance came during a rainstorm, you had both forgotten your umbrellas and were huddling under an awning together as you waited it out. You cleared your throat and started to confess but of course, a huge crack of thunder hit at that exact moment and drowned you out. 

Several more attempts were foiled, his phone was on mute, your love letter had gotten lost in the mail, your text failed to deliver, he seemed to be missing every single hint you were giving him. “This is hopeless! The universe hates me!” You complained to Uraraka that night, your frustration mounting. You glared as she giggled at your plight. “I’m sure it’ll work out eventually, maybe you just have to keep trying.” Your shoulders slumped, “Yeah I guess you’re right.” 

During training one afternoon, you saw another chance, he was taking a quick water break. “100th time’s the charm.” You muttered. and walked over to join him. “Hey, Kaminari?” You asked, gulping down your nervousness, and a bit of your pride. “Yeah, what’s up?” He asked, wiping the sweat from his brow. You nervously wrung your hands, trying your best to make eye contact with him. “Uh, can I talk to you about something?” You asked nervously. Before Kaminari could answer, Sero was calling him over to help him with something. “I’m really sorry but can it wait?” You gave a quick nod, and he dashed off, you watched after him for a moment, then grabbed a drink of water. 

Uraraka surreptitiously came up to you, under the guise of taking a water break. “How did it go? Did you get to tell him?” She asked in a loud whisper. You shook your head, “Sero interrupted before I could.” Uraraka clenched her fist, “Stupid Sero.” You shrugged your shoulders, “Maybe this isn’t meant to be.” “Maybe what isn’t meant to be?” Kaminari asked, making a sudden reappearance at your side. You jumped, hand on your chest as you whirled to face him. You quickly recovered, seeing his concerned face. “Oh. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” You said, luckily Aizawa gave you an out of this potentially awkward conversation by calling you over to discuss your training. Kaminari looked at Uraraka confusedly, his glance seemed to ask why you were acting so weird but Uraraka only shrugged, it wasn’t her place to reveal your feelings for him.

That night, you decided to go out into the woods for a good cathartic screaming session. “Why the hell do I have to have a crush on KAMINARI?!” You yelled at the top of your lungs. Unbeknownst to you, Kaminari was on a night run jogging past the spot you were at that same moment. Thoughts raced through his mind, I think I recognize that voice? But I’m not sure. 

He picked through the forest, trying to find the mysterious person who apparently had a crush on him. He was surprised to find you in the middle of the clearing, he certainly didn’t expect you of all people to have a crush on him. You looked up when you sensed the presence of another person and you felt your heart stop when you realized it was Kaminari standing there. Quickly wiping the tears of frustration from your eyes you feigned a smile, “Oh hello Kaminari. What brings you here tonight, haha?” 

He tentatively picked his way over to you, and stood before you awkwardly, “Um, well I was out for a run and Uraraka told me to keep an eye out for you since you hadn’t come back yet, and then I heard screaming so I… came over.” You shut your eyes in embarrassment, I’m going to kill her.  “Ah, so you heard that? Don’t worry about it, gotta run!” You tried to run away but he grabbed the back of your shirt to stop you. You froze in your tracks at the contact, but you didn’t turn around, you felt you couldn’t face him. “Did you mean it?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. You slowly turned around, but you looked at your feet, not wanting to see the look on his face. You gave him a small nod, a few tears falling to the earth below. “Can you say it again? That you have a crush on me? I just want to make sure I’m not dreaming.” 

You looked up sharply, this was not the reaction you were expecting, but you humored him; though your heart was pounding and you still had no idea how he felt. “I-- I have a crush on you Kaminari. I have, for a while now.” You admitted. Kaminari took a deep breath, “Look,” He began, and you shut your eyes, preparing for the impending rejection you thought for sure was coming. “I- I think I like you too. You make my brain go all ‘wheyy’.” He finished, doing an impersonation of how he was when his brain was fried by his quirk. You just stared at him, unable to formulate your thoughts into words. 

“If I kissed you right now, would you punch me? Because I really want to kiss you but not if you’re going to punch me over it.” His question sent your head spinning and your heart into a flurry of cartwheels. You nodded breathlessly, and to your surprise, Kaminari merely planted a kiss on your forehead. 

You blinked at him, confused. He saw your look of confusion and gave you a small smile, a blush painting his cheeks, “I just don't want to mess things up by going too fast. You’re too important to me.” You returned his smile, finding his nervousness endearing. “Well, can we start by walking to the dorms together? And maybe going out this weekend?” He nodded enthusiastically, intertwining his hand with yours. 

You walked back to the dorm, the stars lighting your way. When you opened the door, still holding hands you were met with a chorus of the girls cheering and various “awws!” You searched the group frantically and finally saw Uraraka at the top of the stairs. “Uraraka! I’m going to kill you!” You yelled, dropping Kaminari’s hand and running after your friend as she dashed away. “Should I be concerned?” Kaminari asked, sweat forming on his brow. “I dunno man, you’re the boyfriend, not me,” Sero said, elbowing him in the side. Kaminari turned, a beaming smile on his face, “Oh, I guess I am, aren't I?” 

[shigarakisslutbag]

Hi! I was wondering if I could get a matchup with a villain? I’m a trans man, bisexual but prefer men. My personality is all over the place but I’m really reserved irl. Online is a different story. I’m very confident and loud with people I can trust, and I don’t do that easily, very protective of people I love/care about. I’m touch starved but absolutely hate being touched by anyone and everyone. Usually just huddle in my room all day and don’t talk unless I need to irl, online I’m very vocal though. I’m very much the type of person who is nice to you until you’re an ass and then I return that energy. Very much will break myself backwards to help people regardless of the consequences.

Likes? I like playing video games, usually the same one over and over again. The color black and pink. Listening to the same music on repeat for hours, the really loud electronic ones that hit the itch in your brain. Wearing hoodies or anything black. Cats. Monster energy drinks. Reading, writing, just making anything creative honestly.

Dislikes: Assholes lol people who are mean or rude for absolutely no reason, but I also love assholes at the same time so idk 😅 Birds, I hate them sm. The color purple or red. Tea. Ignorant people. Halloween. Loud noises and bright lights. Being in public places.

Uhm wow that was a lot so apologize for that lol

My dude I match you with tomura! (And feel special because I ahve so many other people waiting in line for a matchup but I decided to go ahead and answer anyways since you've been giving my feed a lot of attention lol)

You and tomura are practically one in the same .

He needs someone who's reserved but speaks their mind in their own way . In order to actually meet him youd probably have to be working somewhere he regularly visits . Like a video game store or a book store. Not that tomura reads much because he doesnt, he just likes the peace and quiet, and no one there really cares who visits. It's the one place tomura doesnt need to fully hide himself . He still wears his hoodie though just incase some hero students come to study . But nonetheless, when you meet your have to start the conversation . Whether it be saying something about his fandom hoodie or a simple hello . Loves the sound of your voice btw . It's so calm and not obnoxious like some people . Dont get him wrong though when he gets close to someone he can put up with a little noise . It's how he deals with toga. If it werent for her being apart of the league he probably most likely would've killed her lol. But back to you . He loves your entire presence . He feels like he can simply be himself around you. You're one of the first people besides the league (except dabi) that didnt give him weird looks for his appearance . You only exchanged a hello and how are you conversation, but that alone was enough for him to think about you for the next few weeks . He thought about you while playing the video game that he saw on your tshirt the day you met . He thought about you while eating. Drinking monster. Even before he went to bed. It was always you. You probably meet again by fate at a gaming store or something. And this time hes the one to strike the conversation . "You're not one of those disgusting hero supporters are you? Itd be a shame for me to have to kill you. I really dont wanna have to end someone so sweet" It comes off as rude but he means well. Luckily you dont really care about his tone so you guys end up hitting it off.

Doesnt let you join the league. Doesnt need the heroes thinking you're a villain . Thatd get you killed and possibly him. You may be protective of him, but hes even more protective of you. He even insists quite frequently to fight the bosses in your games to keep you from feeling sad when you lose. Its quite cute actually. You guys are avid monster drinkers . Kurorgiri ends up cleaning up your mess even though you offer to help. He enjoys your company so he doesnt mind cleaning up after you. Plus you make tomura happy so all is well . Over all as time flies by you guys become inseparable. Hes yours. And you're his . And that's really all there is to it

Wooooow this was long. I have no life lol. I hope you enjoyed this haha . Sorry for any typos btw . I'm too tired to reread through them

[taeguboi]

BTS HC - Lockdown

In which each BTS member lives with y/n

I’m hoping these imagines might lighten the mood for anyone who might be feeling a bit lonely right now.

Please see the end of post first if you need some context or wish to see the notes

RM

Has good balance of me time and us time

steps back when you both need space

sitting in the back yard on some chair reading a book

taking in the sun

The restrictions don’t hinder him from making sure you both get plenty of sun and fresh air

it isn’t much but in week 1, he gave the back yard a little tidy up

turned it into a place to chill out

so there aren’t any flower planted or decor

but it makes all the difference

there’s chairs, a table and a parasol

to you, this is perfect

Spot of tea under cooler weather

or orange juice under the sun

Board games at the table in the back yard

you tried cards once out there but even just the slightest breeze...

“Goddammit!!!”

The card games are for when it rains

or for when neither of you quite feel like going out today

He swears you’re cheating at UNO

you swear he’s just really bad at it

turns out he keeps saving those wild 4 draw cards too long

which you gather over his last 3 rage quits 

because he just slings the cards, revealing them to you

“You play it too safe” you tell him

so he plays it a bit less safe

“Yes! Finally I won!”

“OH! Look at that!” you smile

he smiles back because of how proud you...

“...it’s sunny again!”

‘Goddammit y/n...’

Shopping trips together

not so helpful when the rules get stricter

“One adult at a time please...”

oh dear

who goes in?

so you go in

“Crap! Namjoon has the shopping list!”

this period of time really shows how you complete each other

pretty much every day you each think

“what would I do without him/her?”

Random talks

he tells you about this one book he read

and now you want to read it

so you do

and you can’t take your eyes off it

you find a new love for reading

so sometimes when you both need me time

you remain in the same room, just reading a book each

Every day you feel enlightened

almost sad at the thought of going back to normal life

because you won’t have as much time for yourself

Jin

Everyone is suddenly having the time to cook from scratch

imagine Jin’s frustration since he did this all along

so when certain things he usually gets aren’t in stock

“Oh for crying out loud!”

you sometimes have to calm him down when shopping

and since only 1 adult in at a time it’s like a really awkward phone call

you’re just stood outside alone like

“For Christ’s sake Jin! Calm down!”

but he makes every meal taste great anyway

“Sorry it doesn’t have the usual...”

“Jin, please!” you reply

because it’s still really yummy because

“you’re still the best cook in the world, okay?”

“Okay fine...” he sighs “Thank you”

can I just add here food is the only time you both get hysterical at each other

He still low key hoard particular ingredients when he FINALLY can get them

and you have to explain how irrational he’s being

“We don’t need SIX tubes of tomato puree!”

“Jin... How are we going to use up all THIS fruit and veg before it goes off?”

But he’s not selfish, no

if he’s in a shop and sees someone elderly, he helps them out

“Would you like me to reach that for you?”

“Do you need any toilet paper? There’s 2 packs left - here”

“Here’s my number; let me know if you need me to run any errands for you”

ahh you’re lucky to be living with such a gentleman

Daily walks in the park to feed the ducks

“This is the best kind of exercise” he tells you “...relaxed and where you can connect with nature”

some of the ducks at the beginning of the lockdown are a bit nutty

Jin may or may not be low key scared of that one goose

“I swear it’s giving me the evils”

it may or may not have chased him the second day in

“Wahhhhhh!!!”

*Jin running away in the distance*

You cooked for him that evening

“Honey, I don’t know how to put this...”

“Aw sweetie it’s okay about what happened in the park; I mean you were the one holding the bread and...”

“oh no no” he replies. “this meal is awful”

r00d

but it’s okay

you knew the minute you offered to make dinner it wasn’t going to turn out well

so you both agree the kitchen will be his space to work his magic in during lockdown

and he somehow gets better than he already is at cooking

just woowwww

foodgasm

but neither of you get podgy

Lazy exercises together

chair exercises watching the tv

small periods of jogging in the woods

“oh wow, what’s that?”

you come across some random squirrel

and all of a sudden trips to the park for that daily walk 

it turns into a nature watch

bird watching

luckily he forgets about the angry goose

Sometimes talking about what you miss

and then promising to do all of those things when everything is back to normal

so many plans

and it helps you both stay optimistic

because you just created a bunch of stuff to look forward to

Suga

Late night movie marathons

and accidentally getting into a routine of late mornings late nights

Cooking together

because neither of you want to do it

but someone has to

can’t live on instant food for all this time

Night time walks

less people, less danger

please don’t yell at me if we’re not supposed to do this in real life I haven’t actually been out that late during lockdown hahaha

it’s only around a few blocks

but deep talks, you know

There may not be much room in the back garden

but you have a ball and a hoop

basketball together

he teaches you to shoot better

“yes! I did it!”

*he hugs you from behind*

sorry that was gay

He’s actually quite chill about the whole lockdown situation

almost like he forgets the circumstances sometimes

“I think I might nip down to _____’s house today...”

“Uh, Yoongi, remember?”

“Oh yeah”

Detective series marathons too

the two of you trying to figure out whodunnit

sometimes even low key bets or light arguments if you disagree

a mildly sore loser when you’re correct

smug af when he is correct

Evenings lounging in the back yard with the drink of your choice

some quiet music on 

random hypothetical conversations and questions about life

“what if...”

“what happened to...”

“don’t you think that cloud looks like a goldfish?”

Board games that keep the brain stimulated

why is he so good at scrabble

you can’t recall a game you’ve won

but no monopoly

not after the last time

“I want a divorce!”

“We’re not married”

“Yet”

tbf you might as well be an old married couple

because there’s those films you just watch over and over

close to unlocking the power of mind reading

“want a cup of tea?”

“omg I was about to ask that”

Some days you get on each other’s nerves a little though

so you each occupy yourselves with little chores

and even though you weren’t in the mood to do anything together

you’ve just made the house look great in a day as a team

and you’ve got everything you need just in time for dinner

“I’m proud of us”

“I’m proud of us too”

J-Hope

Picnics in the back garden

much better than one in the park though

there’s no packing involved

there’s cushions

sometimes low key fine dining

your favourite is the one evening picnic the other day

you had been shopping alone for the essentials

and he wanted to surprise you

he had set up a makeshift table out of a few old crates

did the cooking

the pasta dish was lovely

there was even dessert

okay the dessert was M&S

fairy lights

seriously you swear you weren’t out for that long how did he manage all of this so fast?

wine

staring at the stars

and there were blankets too

dozing off until early hours of the morning

finally coming indoors at like 2am

sleeping in til noon oops haha

then binge watching some random show together 

and now it’s your new favourite

For some reason you have a big stock of popcorn

watching any old crap on the TV as an excuse to eat it

like there’s 3 films on this afternoon that sound shite

but you’re going to watch them all anyway

and the third one is actually really good

more popcorn more films

“we should probably go out at some point...”

whoops it’s been like 4 days now

and now it’s raining damn

fuck it, you go out anyway

dancing in the rain in an empty park

followed by shivering on the walk home

he gets in the shower first

but then runs a lovely hot bath for you

candles, bubble bath, the works

just so you can have some relaxing time to yourself

so thoughtful

lockdown doesn’t mean needing to compromise on showing you love each other

Jimin

You’re not quite sure how you got pulled into this

but Jimin decided to make use of his YouTube following

Virtual dance classes

and fun little exercise sessions for all the family

He does the dance classes solo

but he loves to flaunt you to the world even in lockdown

“Today joining me for this session... my lovely significant other, y/n!”

at first you felt uncertain and a little conscious

but thanks to Jimin your confidence grew

He helps you stay positive during a tough time

and you even feel like your self improvement has been going amazingly well

he even inspires you to make your own channel

to show the world what you love; [insert hobby/interest here]

people love the both of you

they go to Jimin’s channel to keep fit and happy

and your channel just fills them with joy

But not everything revolves around the virtual world

Care packages for all of your friends

food and other essentials get mailed to the ones that lost their jobs

and for the ones still working, a bundle of stuff for their mental well being

and a little drawing with rainbow colours in each

and a positive message

Woolly jumpers, cushions and hot chocolate

sweater paws

Sometimes in the evening you doze off

like you fall asleep just as you are

and you wake up to the smell of food and a blanket over you

Sometimes you miss your friends

and Jimin hates to see you down

so he organises a big surprise

his hands over your eyes as he walks you into the living room

“surprise!” you hear over the laptop

and then Jimin hands you some gifts 

he asked them all a few days ago to send you something meaningful

and your heart just melts

and you may or may not cry a little in front of your friends on the video call

you just have to do something in return so

You make the living room all nice whilst he’s making a video in the garden

wow you’re actually quite proud

the lighting is just right

the improv decor is actually somewhat aesthetic

“Honey, why’s it so dull in here..... Woah, what’s this?”

“Dinner’s ready” you smile

and you have a gift for him too

you can’t wipe the smile off his face when he sees it

a scrapbook of memories between you and him

which you look through after eating

“We’re going to make more memories like this once this blows over”

V

Lots of online socialising

Calls with his friends 

which you always end up being a part of in the background with your commentaries

Cute online double dates with Jimin and/or your best friend

Will try everything and anything to kill the boredom

“look what I found in the bargain bin at the supermarket!”

“Tae, I’m not really sure I’m in the mood to take up crocheting...”

but actually it turns out to be more fun that you thought

he has his little ways of making everything fun

one day you guys just find some random paints in a cupboard

and WOW

he’s so good at it

such beautiful landscapes

Makes sure that you both maintain some sort of routine

“best make sure we have an early night lovely”

“why? it’s not like there’s much to do tomorrow”

but no matter how sceptical you may be at times

he’s determined to be your sunshine

he helps you stay sane

makes everything sound productive

“because tomorrow we are going to make a playlist for when we walk, feed the ducks, go shopping, learn how to make a new dish...”

makes you a cup of tea just because

or breakfast in bed

the perfect companion

caring about even the people he can’t physically be with

“we haven’t heard from _____ in a while; we should drop a phone call or something”

but it isn’t just a phone call

it’s also a letter in the mail a few days later

plus a painting for the close friends

Dressing up really formal for a home date

3 course meal, courtesy of the microwave

then a slow dance in the living room

always the romantic

“tonight was amazing... will I see you again?”

“you are terrible Tae, you really are!”

such a joker

he keeps you smiling through it all

Jungkook

Tries to get you to go on daily jogs with him

“Can’t I just walk?”

“Come on, y/n; get those endorphins running through you!”

you try like once

*wheezing*

nope

Nintendo switch

Not that I have one welp

I can just imagine it okay

Lots of active games

thrashes you at Wii Sports Tennis

but you whoop his ass at Bowling

he does most of the shopping

so that he can go for a jog first

and also so he’s not out too often in any one day, two birds one stone and all that

Doesn’t quite always get the shopping list right….

“Jungkook?”

“Yes?”

“I wrote 1-2 bananas… You’ve brought back 12”

blames your handwriting

Small bits of banter like this keep you both sane

and he eats all those bananas in like 2 days

“What? There was no cereal in the shop”

someone teach this boy to cook please

*brings back like a crate load of instant noodles*

at least it means you’ve come up with something to pass the time

teaching Jungkook some basic meals

maybe beginning with breakfast first thing in the morning wasn’t the best idea

“Jungkook! I said keep an eye on it!”

“I did”

and he literally just watched the bacon burn instead of regularly flipping it over

bless

Singing to you whilst snuggling on the couch

bliss

meme-y dances before bed time

like you’ll be sat in bed maybe watching tv / reading

and something moves in the corner of your eye

oh my word Jungkook

*insert all the meme-y dances you have even seen him do*

the biggest dork

can’t stop laughing at his own silliness afterwards

jumps into the bed and puts his head on your shoulder

falls asleep like this quite fast

well you aren’t surprised since he’s always so energetic

Small campfires in the back garden

the best marshmallows you’ve ever had

and it’s so much fun

campfire stories

usually people have a guitar around the fire

not Jungkook though, no

*serenades you with a ukulele purposely singing out of tune*

has you in stitches

people in the neighbouring houses hear the laughter and some think it’s insensitive to be laughing so much

but seriously, if you can’t laugh, what can you do?

So I thought I’d make a post around the strange times many of us are living in. Whilst I get that some readers may not be in a situation like mine (UK) so a quick bit of context for you even though I made the location / country ambiguous in my writing. The circumstances explained in the imagines though are of course based on my experiences in England.

Right now, we are limited in what we do; only essential shops are open, (supermarkets, pharmacies, etc,) the country is being advised to go out as little as possible, (only for food shopping, medical reasons and exercise,) social gatherings aren’t allowed, our death rate has been increasing due to the virus (even our prime minister has it,) and our NHS is overwhelmed - currently more than 10,000 being treated as I’m listening to the news and writing this note. 

I hope everyone is staying safe and doing the right thing by staying indoors and maintaining social distancing.

[haknew]

🌸 mutuals as tbz members? 🌸

GFDSIFJ THIS IS SUCH A FUN BUT DIFFICULT TASK THANK YOU FOR SENDING IT T-T

(bc i like chaos i’m basing this on personality as well as who biases who [people are more similar to their biases than i thought lmfao] ! u.u and i’ll just stick to moots i’ve talked to a bit ;;;;; i have a lot of moots but i only speak to a handful of them on a daily / semi-daily basis !) 

sangyeon - @hyuncobs :o ! em is always hyping up everyone’s creations in the tags and being overall the nicest deobi out there :,)) it’s just overall vibes for me :D and also she’s always so on top of making content (not just for tbz but skz too !) and i really admire her a lot for that ! kind of like how sangyeon is always hyping all the other members and being overall responsible tm friend u.u and she has been target for some hyunjae clowning *v* haha so kind of like how sangyeon is clowned sometimes as leader :] that’s my reasoning ^^

jacob - @jaecobz ! iya seems kind of quiet at first like jacob but then you get to know her and it’s chaotic energy :3 they both are  hilarious (and visually gorgeous to boot u.u) and are the official angels of the tl i am dubbing it so ovo also @jacobies and @baejoonyoung ! it’s the all rounder talent and humor as well as the angel qualities ! 

younghoon - IDK ACTUALLY O.O i’ll put shine n iya here too just bc i associate them both with younghoon bc they’re my go-to hoon stans but younghoon has really big babie energy and his humor is very eccentric to me ! so :o !

hyunjae - @juyjae this one is kinda obvious, mimi is very straightforward and honest like hyunjae and might seem a bit intimidating but she takes a lot of care and checks in with how people are doing / feeling like hyunjae does for all the members :p 

juyeon - i’m also going to put kai here too bc 1.) pretty people privilege and 2.) hard workers ! but i’m learning from doing this i don’t know too much personal stuff about both of them :o so i also have some curiosity about that ! (kai if you see this ily ;;;;) 

kevin - @3tbz (shine !) like kevin, shine is always talking about stuff that interests her on tl and i just find it really endearing / intriguing to hear about it :o ! she also has a lot of technical music knowledge which reminds me of kevin’s sound production interests too and of course both are crazy talented and smart ! so ^^ and also :o ! @withtbz ! kai’s so funny and has the best humor + memes which i feel is very reminiscent of kev’s extensive pop culture knowledge and she also has the best reactions (kev does too haha :3) on tl to stuff and always knows what’s the best cursed content to send my way u.u 

chanhee - @chanheeh they both have a love-hate relationship with changmin and love puppies :D !!! lmfao but sincerely they have so much in common like their love for books ! and cindy just gives me strong chanhee vibes all the time ! they’re both so kind but have such fun wit too, sometimes i read her tags and laugh because they’re so funny ! 

changmin - @kyutiemin this one is pretty obvious too :3 the kyu in our nyukyu ! we’re besties but with spite and love (like nyukyu) it’s kinda hilarious,,, i shudder to think bc if i actually hated tomatoes like chanhee did, i can 1105% bet holly would show up at my doorstep with a whole box of them 😷😷😷 (luckily i have nothing against tomatoes but) also they match a lot in terms of personality too but ! i won’t get into that too much

haknyeon - me ;;;; can i say me LOL @haknew haknyeon and i are actually quite different personality wise but we both can be very loud when we’re excited and we sometimes just want validation and a pat on the head you know u.u it’s the babie energy *v* heh 

sunwoo - @hwqll and @deobis DHVISU this is also kind of obvious u.u my favorite clowning targets :D okie jk (not really heh ;3) han has a great sense of humor like she and sunwoo i both consider effortlessly funny in how she captions her gifs and how sunwoo approaches jokes but they’re both also babies and i feel the need to protecc u.u haha and same with erin, she’s also effortlessly funny but also head over heels in love with sunwoo and says the cheesiest things about him (and woobin) like sunwoo’s cheesy lines @ deobis so :3 and of course all three are galaxy brain smart too :D !

eric - @esohn of course *v* yes chloe biases eric but she also radiates eric energy ? like they both vie for your attention and are the absolute cutest, they both have a lot of love for their friends too and have big babie energy ^^ !

[writingforyourpleasure]

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Characters: GERARD WAY x Reader 

 Link to chapter four :   https://writingforyourpleasure.tumblr.com/post/616411340391759872/on-the-road-again

Warnings : None 

 Author’s note: Hello ! Hope you’re all doing okay during those strange times ? Sorry for not posting but I had my en-of-the-year exam, but it’s now done and , I only got a few homework to hand-over now and my second year in college’ll be done !Here you go thank you to keep reading .

5.      “ Pun-master “

  You woke up, feeling something or someone moving in front of you . You started to groan at the uncomfortable feeling not wanting to get up just yet.

“And what owe me the pleasure to be assisted by your presence tonight sir Way?” You said while looking for plates.

The mass finally moved away , listening to your complains .

You woke up what felt just five minutes later but probably was in reality hours after it. Your eyes fluttered slowly as if they were disconnected from your brain. A light shine from the outside was peeking through your tinted window as soon as you truly started to wake up , you realized that Gerard wasn’t here anymore.

“Right…” You breathed out to yourself. Honestly you didn’t want to wake up. You were scared , scared of overthinking this , and because of that you actually was overthinking it . Your brain wasn’t playing on your favor . You didn’t knew how you were gonna survive today. The worst was, you didn’t knew how to act with Gerard , what happened yesterday night wasn’t that big of a deal, really , but again ; you were overthinking it . You just wanted to act normal with him , and was prying your brain to not let you down once you’ll see him. You felt so stupid for having a crush on one of your coworker and friends. You got up and hoped for the best.

You got out of your nest , only to find that you were alone in the bus and that you already had arrived into the next parking’s venue . You went directly to the kitchenette and groaned realized that you guys were short on coffee. You finally resigned yourself and went for the shower.

You got out of the bus a dozen of minutes later to find the parking lot empty except for the security that was already keeping everything on check. You checked your phone to see that it was 3pm . You had enough time, to get yourself a coffee somewhere and not stressing about when to comeback since you didn’t had to repeat with Dex or anything. You put back in your , old black Green Day’s hoodie, pocket your phone . You’ve dressed yourself as unfashionable as it is socially allowed , your laziness was clearly reflecting itself through most of your actions today. You put your headphones on , listening to the last Fever 333’s album and searched on google maps for the nearest Starbucks, once again a reflect of your laziness you figured.

You arrived to the welcoming smell of dirty beans being ground and hot milk.

Once you got your order you looked around for a seat since the place was pretty full, luckily you got one in front of the glass and on both sides what appeared to be two couples . Great. You hope that you’ll be lucky and won’t have to witness the same amount of smooshing in both of them. The teenage one , on your right , were the ones all over each other, with the boy groping at every part accessible of his what-you-presumed-to-be his girlfriend. The one on your left were two men in suits holding each other hands while talking , you sat facing the widow and the other empty seat. You got out of your backpack your sketch book and a pencil starting to draw people passing by while music took you in other world. A tap on your shoulder took you of guard , you got off your headphones .

“Yes ?” you turned around your head to see who was trying to get your attention.

“Hey, is this seat taken ?” Dex was smiling down at you with a big smile.

You said nothing instead kicking the seat in front of you, back to the glass for them to seat.

“I feel like it’s been a while since we talked .” Dex said sitting and looking expectantly at you.

“What are you talking ‘bout we talked just yesterday.” You said not looking up from your sketch book.

“Don’t play dumb y/n , you know what I mean. Like just the two of us ?” Dex sighed , seeing that you decided to not play cooperative . This time you did look up to your friend with a blank expression . Watching their eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It’s true , lately you tried to somewhat distance yourself since you were trying to figure out what the hell was happening with Gerard and you knew that being close to Dex would not help one second . Your friend knew how to read you even when you tried to hide something as well as you could. You had thinked that if Dex was about to ask questions it would make it weird since you were all working together . If you fucked up at any moments , you’ll have nowhere to hide and sometimes it can be a great deal of pain . But apparently you didn’t succeed not to make it awkward since your friend was not so happy that you act a little colder than usual . You were already fucking cold to any strangers , so to be cold to them was shitty. You sighed and run a hand through your now greasy hair . You needed to take a shower quickly , maybe it could wait after the show .

“Hey earth to y/n, hellooo?”

“Huh yeah sorry I was gone for a few…”

“Yeah no shit .”

“Sorry… like for all of it it’s true I’ve been kinda avoiding you guys.”

“Meh it happens , I mean it’s okay we all got our own problems.”

Dex tried to stay warm inside of the Starbucks but you could sense that being against a cold ass window wasn’t helped them to get the warmth that provided the Starbucks.

“I’m so cold….” They whispered as they took a gulp from their drink.

“Well….then stand in a corner .” You replied taking a large gulp of your hot drink too.

“What-Why ?”

“Think..”

“No….. please tell me it’s not because of what I think dude.”

“Coz’ corners are 90 degrees.” You said with a smug smile.

“Ho god …. Ok you know what maybe it’s for the best to be socially distant haha. It is so bad please do not do that again?”

“You’re asking way to much to the pun master .”

“More like the master of fucking nothing y’mean .”

“What did you said peasant , I think I didn’t quite hear that ?”

“Ho nothing .” said your friend smiling like a fool.

“Y/N I’m still fucking cold !” Said your friend trying to warm themselves up by rubbing strongly their arms.

“And how is that my problem , my dear?”

“Someday I really am going to kill you , y’know?” Told Dex between their teeth, with a little grunt along the way.  

“Y/N , Can I borrow your scarf? I’m seriously freezing. ”

“Well I can’t turn into a heater for you now can I? So do you want me to set you on fire? Because, I mean it’s still an option? Like I have my lighter right here so….?” You joked while giving them your scarf.

They gave you a warning glance as if they believed you . Then on a very exasperate note they sighed and said :

“Why are you like this?”              

You both laughed at that getting some curious looks from other clients. Once both of calmed down you try to get serious talking about the elephant in the room .

“Hey , can I ask your advice on something?”

“Absolutely , but I only advise communication, homosexuality, or murder.” Answered your friend earning a smug know-it-all smile out of you.

You were about to start to get off of your chest the whole “Hey I think I may or may not like the lead singer of the band for which we’re working for.” They cut you off.

“WAIT!”

“Yeah ?”

“Are you absolutely positive this isn’t dangerous or something?” They looked very serious about this , which had the reflex to make you roll your eyes deep inside your skull.

“I’m 95% sure, but yeah, I’ve failed fourth grade math so…” You decided to answer her stupid question with a stupid answer.

“Ho okay then we’re good I failed second grade! So just before we start , how long will this take ? I got to pick up my dog at the salon. «You both laughed at that. «No but like seriously we’ll have to go back to the bus eventually . Maybe tell me along the way back?”

“Alright , alright” You both got up from your seats and finally got out of the Starbucks.

“So huh, you remember when we got the 1 week break , alright?”

“Right. “

“Well huh, me and Gerard started talking by text pretty often during this time.”

“Ho. Did you now ?” They said waving their eyebrows in a suggestive way.

“No not like that calm down, you demon fuck .”

“Always a pleasure to fill my responsibilities.”

“You weirdo….” You whispered under your breath.

“Ho do not act if you aren’t even weirder man ! “

“Anyway, I just , I don’t know . I think, I think I may like him y’know?”

“Well it’s pretty comprehensible , I mean he’s hot .”

“I’m not talking about this you twat!”

“Ho c’mon you can’t say he isn’t !”

“Haha ,He is , I ‘ve sight too I’d let you know. It’s just not the point here .”

“You do? Sorry it’s hard to tell when you dress yourself like that .

“You bitch!” You choked on your drink , coughing violently.

“I’m just kind of dreading to really assuming the whole ‘hey by the way I’m hitting on you’ I don’t want to make it weird during the tour , when we’re not even at the half of it. And I don’t wish for everyone to see that I am hitting on him. I’m not ready.” You explained to Dex , not really wanting to expose everything you and Gerard said or do , foremost because there’s not that much to say

“Maybe not hitting on him is a good call since if you do I’m pretty sure he’s gonna freak out hearing your lame puns.”

“May I recall to you that I’m the pun-master AND the master of pickup lines ?”

“You completely suck at pickup lines, bro.”

“No I don’t !”

“The last time you tried one of you’re pickup lines was on this poor cute girl in Louisiana when you said ‘Are you Google –“

“CUZ YOU’RE EVERYTHING I’M SEARCHING FOR !!!”

“Yeah no wonder it didn’t worked !”

“I’m a genius , you’ll miss me when I’m gone.”

“You wish . So why are you’re feeling attracted to the guy ?”

“Well you see my kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say. And Since I know him he seems to correspond to this criteria , so I find it pretty attractive and hot since it’s my main kink.”

“Yeah , too unrealistic. Settle for bondage like the rest of us.”

“Where you ever nice Dex ?”

“2012, worst year of my life.” You laughed at what your friend said . “No but more seriously y/n, just let it happen y’know? And when you have the feeling that both of you are having a moment then maybe hit on him but stay subtle y’know?”

“I just want him to take me out…”

“Like, on a date or with a sniper ?”

“He’ll have to surprise me .” You both laughed before changing the subject to the little surprise you’ve both had planned for Max, since he was spending all of his nights and days working on your band , you wanted to do something nice for him. You bought a cookbook a few weeks ago for him as a present for the occasion, he often baked pastries as a distressful way to exhale from work time. Even though the bus condition made it hard to cook anything big it already was a good start. And you bought some bottle of Irish hard cider, since he had said it was the best thing he ever tasted when you all took a vacation to Dex family house there. After getting back to the bus everything went pretty fast , but the talk with Dex about Gerard was still playing in your mind. Ames saw that you were lost in your thoughts most of the time and ask you several times if everything was okay, you tried to act like you didn’t knew what he was talking about and you all moved on with your day . Mikey, Frank , Gerard and Ray were already in your bus when you had come back from your coffee session, and they yelled at you for not texting them and taking them with you. You brushed it off saying that next time you would. Gerard had tried to share looks with you during the day but you were too much caught up into your head to notice.

The show this night was nice and almost too short even if you guys took a ten minutes on My chemical romance planning since you played a special song. Once you were backstage Ames and Billy started their routines taking everything off stage to let place for the boys. To go faster Max offered to help them. It gave you and Dex a chance to run to the bus to prepare your little plan. You took any cushions , pillow and anything fluffy you could find , when you were done the bunks were quite a mess but you didn’t want to think of it since you still had to prepare the hard cider and the cake you brought from the Mark & Spencer’s not having too much time to find anything else. By the time everything was served , you knew that My chem was done with their show too , so you decided to prepare them a part too , you made a point to serve a apple juice instead of the cider for Gerard , not wanting him to feel excluded or anything. Max had been held backstage by Billy and Ames who were your dearest allies as ever.

You installed yourself with every plates and drinks giggling between the two of you alone in the bus to stupid jokes.

A knock made itself hear through the bus and Billy appeared into the kitchenette area before being followed by Ames and Max , who where looking at you with huge smiles spread across their face and a snort from the three of them.

“What the fuck did you do with our beds ?” Asked Max between a laugh.

“Well we did a pillow fort !” Answered Dex.

“Isn’t that a little childish ? “

“Does it means you don’t want to join us ?” You asked Max.

A silence swept through the bus.

“…Move over .” Said Max entering your huge pillow fort and already going for the cake and drink.

“Wait there’s a party and you guys didn’t told us about?! “Said Frank entering your bus.

You handed a plate in his direction , earning a smile from him before he arrived by your side as well as everyone else too.

Frank was on your right while Gerard was on your right and all of you were in a cercle eating and joking about stupid stuff.

“Hey you look better than this morning it’s good to see.” Whispered at your side Gerard offering a sweet smile before readjusting a few locks behind his ear.

“Well It’s because in the end we migrate towards comfort , and I realized that I am most comfortable around you , all of you.” You said returning a bright smile to the man.The night went along before Frank spoke up .

“Guys how are you gonna clean this mess to sleep tonight ?” Painful groans made themselves heard from all of you.

[missroserose]

Soft Asks: 1 & 6 & 8 & 12 (I'm greedy for softness today.)

  YES PLEASE BE GREEDY.  I wasn’t kidding, this is a rough week all around, so let’s get soft. <3

1.) what song makes you feel better?

Honestly, it depends.  For instance, when I’m feeling bad in the sense that I’m facing down a huge and intimidating task, I usually go for something upbeat and major key—like Walk the Moon’s Shut Up and Dance, or Janelle Monae’s The Way You Make Me Feel, or Amtrac’s Never Lost.  If I’m having one of those days where I have things to do but it’s feeling like I’m having to push through syrup to get anywhere, I tend toward something similarly driving but more minor/suspended chords—Meg Myers’ cover of Running Up That Hill has been on my playlist a lot lately, as has In This Moment’s Roots and K. Flay’s Blood In The Cut.  And if I’m just in that place where everything is A Lot and there’s not much I can do about it, I’ll usually go for slower synth-y stuff—Björk’s Possibly Maybe is a perennial favorite, though I’ve lately been listening to Slowdive’s Sugar for the Pill and The Stone Roses’ I Wanna Be Adored.  And, of course, just about anything by Cigarettes After Sex.

(I, uh, hope you know me well enough by now to know that if you ask me to name a song you’re going to get at least nine options, with links XD)

6.) say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

Ooo!  I think self-appreciation is highly underrated so I’m glad to get this question.  Let’s see...Physical:

1.)  I love the various customizations I’ve made to my body—short colorful hair, large arty tattoos, multiple piercings.  Almost all of them have made me feel more me in a way that’s evanescent but insistent.

2.)  I’m not gonna beat around the bush—I freaking love my arms.  Ever since I started lifting a couple of years ago I’ve been completely surprised (and pleased!) at how much I’ve enjoyed watching my biceps slowly grow.  Being able to hoist heavy things is awesome too, but...I admit it, I totally flex in the mirror sometimes.  (I’ve caught myself doing it on Zoom calls too, haha.)  I have a rose tattoo on one arm and I adore how it accents the shape of the muscles.

3.)  I like my general body shape.  Large hip structure runs in my family (my mother calls them the Rose hips), and while that means I would likely never have made it as a ballerina or gymnast past puberty, I’m not at all sad I ended up with an hourglass shape.  (Though it does make finding jeans that fit in both the hips and waist a bit of a trick...I’ve had good experiences with Fran Denim, which definitely was not inspired at all by their marketing prominently featuring generously proportioned women with tattoos riding motorcycles...ahem.)

As for the non-physical...

1.) I feel like I have a pretty good left-brain/right-brain balance (though, point of note, the popular conception of “left brain = logic and right brain = creativity” is actually pretty bullshit).  I love that I can think creatively and also analytically—there are times when both are needed.  I think it’s part of why I’ve made such a good massage therapist—I enjoy the squishier social-interaction heal-the-world side of the business, but I’m also good at the hard-nosed business and boundary-setting and hustling-for-clients part that a lot of people in the industry have trouble with.

2.)  I really love my writing.  I’m not trying to brag, just...you know those memes about “I am looking for very specific fic content, and if I cannot find it, I will create it?”  Yeah, that’s me.  I don’t often read back over my stories but when I do (even when it’s something I’m not proud of and I expect to cringe) I often end up surprised at how much I enjoy it.

3.)  I love my ability to perform.  I was talking with @harringroveheart about how I read some of my smut aloud (by request, with warnings) at a salon last night, and they were all “are you genetically incapable of being embarrassed??” and I had to think back to all the times that I read aloud to my mother who’d correct my pronunciation on every third word, or sang karaoke at a bar only to be met with complete indifference, or taught yoga to three people who refused to make eye contact and immediately bounced the moment class was over...so no, I’m very capable of being embarrassed, and in fact it’s been a struggle to get to where I am now.  But man, learning to give fewer fucks has been incredibly freeing—and when you keep trying, every once in a while you hit that home run of a performance that connects with the entire audience and stays with you long after the embarrassing memories fade.

8.) tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good.

So many someones!  @blahblahblahcollapse is a great beta reader and writing cheerleader.  @introvertia often surprises me with her insight and delights me with her kindness.  @trashcangimmick is the kind of chill and comforting dude everyone should have in their lives, and often gives excellent writing advice to boot (even when he’s laughing at my perfectionism).  @skybound2 gives great music recommendations and nerds out with me over immortal relationships.  @twobrokenwyngs listens patiently when I need to vent, and patiently listens to my advice when she needs to vent.  @neonelectriclady sends me pictures of delicious-looking bread and awesome Star Trek memes and talks to me about cloud butts.  @thisisnotmolchanka is the best metamour, creative and clever and ambitious and genuinely kind in a way you rarely see all together at once in one person.  There are tons more I could name, but this post is already getting long...

12.) how are you?

I think I’m just gonna link xkcd for this one.

In truth, I’m...more or less okay.  Being unemployed is turning out to be something of a mixed bag this week—like, on the one hand, I can sleep in until 10 and be a lump on the couch in my PJs all day, but on the other hand...I can sleep in until 10 and be a lump on the couch in my PJs all day.  Luckily I’m hosting writing group this afternoon, so that’ll be a good distraction, as well as at least requiring me to get dressed.  (Not that anyone would really bat an eye if I booted up Zoom and was still in my bathrobe, but, y’know.)

let’s get soft together!

[nicomacheannothing]

1-22-2021

It has certainly been the busiest of weeks! I’m so behind on chores because of it, but I’m procrastinating at the moment hehe. Last Saturday was Leslye’s birthday. Austin and I decided to bake her a chocolate tart using a recipe from a baking cookbook that she gave me for Christmas, then instead of the recommended crust, we would use Leslye’s own graham cracker pie crust recipe. I was excited to be taking my baking skills to another level. Of course, we had to go to the store before anything and we were way behind. We couldn’t find all of the ingredients we needed at one store, so we had to run around (did you know that pretty much ONLY Walmart carries 70% dark chocolate chips? WTF.) Then we got into a fight over bs. That was frustrating. Luckily though, we got back to his house in plenty of time to bake.  I was trying to make the ganache filling RIGHT. I used a double boiler to melt the chocolate, bought a kitchen thermometer and everything. Ganache is apparently a little tricky because it’s an emulsion; the ingredients will separate if you don’t do everything precisely. As you can probably guess, everything was going well, but then the ingredients started to separate. I couldn’t turn back at that point, the crust was already made and cooling! I wasn’t just going to serve everyone an empty pie crust haha. I got out a hand mixer and whipped that sucker into shape. I guess what I ended up with was technically a whipped ganache, but that’s ok. At least it wasn’t weirdly watery lol.  To my happy surprise, everyone LOVED the tart once it was done. It did taste really good. The sweet cinnamon graham crust really balanced out the very dark chocolate we used. I want to try the recipe again and not screw up this time, but I’m satisfied with the outcome for now. It’s really hard to find any food that all of the Browns love because their preferences are all over the map, but this recipe was a winner. 

As you can probably guess, we spent most of the evening inebriated 🤣Leslye kind of gets sad about her birthday and kept feeling awkward. I tried to cheer her up by getting her to dance and stuff. I hope that helped; I know that feeling down on your birthday sucks. I think she just didn’t want to be the center of attention though and was relieved when it was over. 

We all got together on Sunday too and also partied. We tried to play a game that Austin got Mady for Christmas and we sort of did, but we were all drinking, losing focus and screaming about sex. I had a blast, but I think Austin was a bit frustrated. He has a naturally high alcohol tolerance and it takes a LOT to get him drunk. He’s rarely ever as effected as Mady and I are by alcohol so we much get REALLY annoying haha. Sorry. 😅 On Monday I was really tired at work. I’m working on this proposal for a potential client. The subject matter is confidential, but suffice it say that I had horrible artist’s block for two days straight on this thing. In addition to being tired, I think I was having PMDD symptoms. I was proud of myself for powering through the frustration but god, working with no motivation or spark is like pulling your own teeth. It didn’t help that the Request for Proposals was written in this extremely stuffy, formal style that made me not want to care. At all. As of today though, I’m done with the first draft! Again, proud of myself but jesus christ.  We also had a shoot this week... the client is one we’ve had before but this time, they were extremely unorganized. They came to us acting like they had ideas, but when we got to the location, they were just like “we’ll leave it up to you as to how to approach this”. There are few things more annoying than having to shoot with no clue what you’re shooting for. And my PMDD was raging throughout the whole thing. I really hate hormones. BUT. The shoot involved some adorable kids and I think the challenge got some adrenaline going in my brain. That pretty much knocked out all of my PMDD issues and I felt about 300x better by the evening, which I got to spend listening to music with Mady and Austin and talking.  Strangely enough, the weekend is still not over! Julius is coming over tomorrow to get Mady and we’ll probably be partying down again. There are worse things, I guess. I swear I’ve spent my 20s making up for all of the partying I didn’t do in college haha. I should stop writing and actually do chores now though. Heaven knows I won’t get anything done this weekend :p

[letterstotheone-whomilovemost]

12/31/2020 (14 months after the event)

Happy New Years!

It has been a rather weird year, hasn’t it? While some days from this year feel like they were only yesterday, others feel like half a decade ago. To be quite frank, the same applies to the last time I saw you. I’m sure if you saw this you would go “blah blah, you say the same thing every time you write.” While this is true, I can’t help it. I started taking new medication, as of 14 days ago. My psychiatrist, I have one of those now-- along with a therapist haha, recommended me getting put on escitalopram for my severe anxiety. It’s always been pretty bad, but over the course of the past 14 months, it has skyrocketed pretty high. Isn’t it strange how our minds develop as we get older? Survival of the fittest? Or is it just adaptation? The human body is pretty neat, let alone our brain. 

I was going through my photos the other day, and got the sudden urge to delete all of them. Of course, I’m not as crazy as just upright deleting them-- so I uploaded all of them onto a drive, and then deleted them from my phone. All of them. Decided it was time for a fresh start, why not start with the one thing I open every day, right? I decided earlier today, about a week after I deleted all of my photos, that I would go into my drive to try and find a photo from September that I downloaded from a manga I was reading. Of course I got sidetracked, I scrolled to 2014 and was going through all of my old photos with my brother and my family, and then suddenly I got to 2017 and there it was. The black and white photo of you and I at the parking deck, both of us laughing as hard as we possibly could. I smiled softly of course, as the beautiful memory came rushing over me. But then something hit me. For some reason, this isn’t how I remember you. My brain forgot what you looked like, or at least started trying to. It’s been about a year since I last saw a photo of you. While the brain is so incredibly amazing, it has a bad habit of memories starting to fade, especially when it’s a person attached to bad memories as well. It works in some cases, where people are trying to forget-- but even still it does the opposite and leaves the person going “Why can’t I forget you!?”. Strange, right? The human mind is so beautiful. I can still hear you talking to me sometimes, if I try hard enough. Lately, I haven’t been so hard on myself. I’m trying to figure myself out still, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it is okay that I still love you. I know I more than likely always will. That’s what love is, right? Being able to love and never losing that love, no matter what happens. 

All of this being said, I figured I would kind of recap everything that has happened in the wonderful year of 2020. It has been one hell of a ride.

January, the month of my brother’s 15th birthday. He was so happy and we all celebrated his birthday with him the following weekend. We also went hiking the same month, while it was cold; my mother, brother, and I had a blast. This month was mostly just working and being lazy on my off days. I had a fall out with my best friend.

February, I had a love hate relationship with this month. I tried dating someone new, I saw that you had gotten in a relationship two months prior and figured it was time for me to try and move on as well. Needless to say, dude was a douchebag and was a very violent individual. I left him within 3 weeks. My birth father, his newlywed wife, my cousin from my favorite uncle, whom I had never met until then, and I all went to Ruby Falls. It was quite a beautiful journey. Whilst I fought with my father, it turned out to be an okay experience. Later in the month, I ended up getting into a fight with my landlord, who was demanding that I pay extra, even though I was not behind on any payments. I ended up cooperating with them, so that I didn’t lose my home. I celebrated my little sister’s fifth birthday.

March, I lost my job. Millions and millions of other people did as well. Covid-19 struck the world. I took it lightly and just assumed that yet again, the media was blowing things out of proportion. My landlord wasn’t understanding of the fact I was put out of work, along with millions of others. They ended up being generous for the month after I showed them statistics. I ended up being lazy, doing nothing but watching Netflix and Disney plus for the entire month.

April, Corona Virus was boring at this point. We had all been told, “Oh! We’ll all be open for business again in the next two weeks!”. That was the first week of March, and it was now April. The government didn’t give us any kind of help until the last week, so that kind of fucked me. I spent most days laying in bed on TikTok. I also got super into streaming in the beginning of this month, and my platform was finally starting to take off.

May, unemployed for two months. I debated taking a job at a warehouse. Unfortunately, the media deterred me from doing so. There was a spike of cases in my state; it was terrifying. I didn’t leave my house much. I got my dog, for the first time in 4 years. It was beautiful, I cried. He was so happy to be back home. I started a routine of watching anime every morning at 7 am and then going for a walk. I wanted to get back into a daily routine, regardless if I had a job or not. I was falling behind on bills, and I really needed to distract myself. I started getting into digital art, rather than traditional, for the first time ever. I stopped making my music.

June, I reconnected with a lot of old online friends from 2013. It was strange and I didn’t really know how to feel about it. It was nostalgic in a way, spending late nights on discord calls. I didn’t really enjoy it all too much, I felt like it all needed to stay in the past. I started anti-depressants, again. This time it was Prozac. It made me feel extremely drowsy, and made me feel out of body most of the time. I tried to date, again. An old friend that I had from 2013, we reconnected and even though they were out of state, I decided-- “Hey, maybe this will be good for me. I don’t have to worry about them getting aggressive with me, we can take things slow, and we can pace ourselves.” Oh man, if only I knew. He flew down to my state, met the family, was extremely respectful and even stayed in a hotel the first trip. Everything seemed to be going okay.

July, my 21st birthday. Did I drink? No. Sounds crazy, right? I had about half a drink, and decided I just didn’t want any. I had stopped taking my antidepressants, the new boyfriend had said that I wasn’t acting right. It fed into my suspicion, that the meds weren’t doing a whole lot for me. They were just making me really sleepy and on edge all the time. The new boyfriend had come down again for my birthday and mother’s birthday, since we share the same birth week. Celebrated with my mom, her best friend, and I. July was pretty hectic, since I had decided I would be moving to West Virginia on August 5, 2020.

August, I moved to West Virginia. I packed up all of my belongings, uprooted everything I had ever known, hugged my family goodbye, and got into the back of a truck with a u-haul attached to it. I rode in the back of the vehicle for 14 hours, fell asleep in Kentucky, woke up in Ohio. It was daylight by the time we approached West Virginia. It was so beautiful, all of the mountains. I was moving into the house in which he lived in, which his sister was next door on one side, and his parents on the other side. We had the nice river breeze, since Ohio river was within eyesight. I lived in the Tri-state area so it was Pennsylvania on one side, Ohio on the other, and us-- five minutes to each state. It was a good first couple of days. Then we got into our first fight. I was unable to work, since I left my car behind. Luckily, I had saved up a bunch of money for me to be able to buy one. He hit me with really low blows, saying I didn’t need to work-- since women weren’t good for that kind of thing. It hurt, to be honest. I had never seen him like this before, in the eight years I had known of his existence. He had been with me in my hometown for three weeks and not once acted like this. I walked on eggshells, bought a car with my hard earned money, then got a management job at the Domino’s that was ten minutes from my town I was living in. Towards the end of the month, he got aggressive with me. He stopped working the same week I had moved in, he had no car. He had no ambition, he decided to just give up. Maybe that’s what I tried to see, maybe-- just maybe I could help him find some ambition. I wanted to save him, in a way? We got into a severe fight, I couldn’t take it anymore-- I fought back, and he ended up swinging on me.

September, I packed all of my belongings that I could into my tiny little Toyota, and left in the middle of the night. I had one thing on my mind, and that was to go to my mom’s house. My mother had known how bad he had gotten, since he acted such a way with my mother on the phone, unknowingly. I drove for 15 hours, well 13 but with rest stops to nap for a bit since I was running off of no sleep, but I finally ended up back home. I ended up staying with my mom for a bit. Later had to relocate, so I moved in with an old friend. Started streaming again.

October, Worked. Literally worked the entire month, my entire existence fell into dread. I became overly aware of how much time had passed. I felt like I had been doing nothing. I dreaded the last day of the month, every day just gave me more and more sadness.  I didn’t want the day to come. I started dreaming of you more and more and more. Halloween came, I decided to look at it differently, I started to thank you-- rather than try to hate you. I came to the conclusion that I would never hate you.

November, Thanksgiving! I started to become grateful, moved back into my mom’s house. It was a bumpy ride, but I managed to get back into the habit of doing healthy things. Started going to the gym again, drinking more water. I told my father he was dead to me, haven’t spoken to him since. I got to spend Thanksgiving with my real family, my mother and her best friend’s family. They watched me grow up since the day I was born. It was so much better than any other holiday I had ever had up to this date.

December, I started a new form of medicine. This time it was for anxiety, since that’s the main factor of my illness-- or so we think so far. I am on escitalopram, and I started it the week before Christmas. I got to see my real family again. It was nice, but this time I got to reunite with my childhood best friend for the first time in fifteen years. It was so lovely. I have become almost bedridden again, but it won’t last long-- since it’s just a side effect of my medicine. I also got to see some friends from high school, but then I realized-- they’re the exact same way they’ve been since the beginning. They wanted nothing but to talk about drama. It just isn’t my thing, I don’t like dealing with people much anymore, because of the constant drama. I’ve learned a lot about people changing, and the lack thereof.

I think this year has been a year full of lessons for me, and it has been tough. As they say, there’s no pleasure without pain, no pain no gain, right? This year has taught me a lot about myself and the people around me, and I am extremely grateful for the things I have experienced. I’ve learned so much about who I am as a person. I’ve grown a lot, while this year has kicked my ass. I have high hopes for the next year. For the first time, since 2016, I finally see a future in myself, by myself. 

To New Beginnings, Lovebug.

I love you, always.

22:27

[cloudoclock]

1 Year Later : My Sixth Form Masterpost 😊🧐

Last Summer, I decided to make a Masterpost of all the tips I gathered for people moving from year 11 to college of sixth form, as well as those who need any academic aids.

Today I decided to make a review of the  masterpost I made for sixth formers last year. I’m now going into year 13, so I’ve had time to think about what’s best for me and as a very determined student, I thought it would be a good idea to look back at what I thought I needed.

Websites and Resources

Revision world - I did not use this at all this year. The only useful thing that came out of this website was the ability to make mind maps because I always get lost when I do them by hand - although there’s many other sites for that. 2/10

Specs - Going to your exam board website and printing out your specifications are a big help because you can outline your own self study throughout the year. Keeping track is essential. This was very essential for my Media class and English Literature because they are essay based and the spec is perfect for planning. 8/10

Specimen Papers and Walkthroughs - we all know how useful practice is and finding up-to-date papers are essential for calming yourself into the exam mindset. Walkthoughs on Youtube are also great because it gives a condensed version of the exam thought process. As someone who struggled with improving my essay writing to A Level standards, specimen papers are essential to my own planning  and actually understanding how arguments are executed. 8.5/10

Powerpoints  or Prezi- this one is a bit of an odd one and does require a bit of digging. Search up “a level (subject) powepoint/presentation” and there may be a presentation from teachers on a unit from your subject. On Prezi there are loads of presentations that are easy to follow and vary in content. This was unintentionally the most useful resource for Media Studies. In my class, our teachers would set us up in groups bi-weekly and just give us an element of media to make presentations on. Luckily when you do a search along with “slideshare” there’ll be an array of student-made presentations. I don’t encourage copying but it cuts down on time spent searching for main facts. 10/10

Youtube - of course everyone’s favourite site is a useful resource. However, it is very easy to get distracted so look at specific channels and playlists. I actually didn’t use youtube too much this year, but I think it’s great for advice videos. 5/10

Emma studies - this is truly my prinatable queen annd planner life saver. She has all these free printables and layouts that you can just put in your binder and in your books to keep up with your work. However, I haven’t been journaling since COVID properly started in February, so I need to figure that out haha. *Note she hasn’t really been active in a while

Study Methods

Cornell Method - Not useful for someone like me. I did not practice this method enough because of its inefficiency and have now realised its totally useless for my style of work. I advise that you get a Skillshare and watch the entirety of Ali Abdaal’s study class or go look on his Youtube channel. The summary section is counter is a waste of space as I would probably rush it to just do it. Although the questions section is the most useful part, its more efficient to write the questions as a title and make additions after.

Colour schemes- Once again, another very very pretty add-on to notes but I stand by the rule of a MAX 3 colour scheme. I must reiterate that this is an add-on and it is best to stick to one colour pen, rather than switching between pens. 

Rewriting Notes after class - now I know the idea seems long winded and a waste of your time, but ... I now realised it is actually A WASTE OF TIME. I earnestly entreat you to watch the skillshare class I mentioned. The act of re-writing extensive notes from class is not active recall, even though the act of writing is partially benefitial. I would advise writing down key points and specific points for the exam, but not much more. Repeated exposure to these facts or ideas is much better because you do all the summarising in your head. Obviously, this is the time you can make reformed notes, but doing it for every lesson is strenuous in the long run.  The learning doesn’t take place on paper so save the environment. 

Music

My light playlist - this playlist is pretty chill and a bit of a autumn night vibe.

Reading playlist - there’s pretty good scores on here for reading sessions for a bit of a switch from the usual (I really loved this during the autumn term, especially for English)

White noise- I loved this and some exam hall sounds on youtube.

Supplies

Home Binder/ expanding file - Unfortunately, I am yet to have a system that works with binders. It really does help to have a small file to hold all your papers, but I would use online files and not print unless necessary.

Binder for lessons- For STEM, language and perhaps essay classes, I think you definitely need a place to store all that content. Make sure you declutter often!

Refill pad/ notebook- I hated my perforated books and I’m starting to grow hatred for wirebound books (maybe its the way I store them), but I like having an easy notebook on the go.

Post its/ page tabs- I personally think these are a little wasteful if you are not using them consistently. Page tabs are very good for books if you need to focus on themes, characters or as points for essays.

Planner- please, please, please get a planner. You need a planner regardless of how you do it - online, bujo or on daily memo sheets.

USB - not many people talk about having a usb, maybe because we are in the digital age of sharing. When you need to quickly open docs or powerpoints in school, or in the library or at home, no one has time to wait for google drive. I learned how important it was to have a usb in gcses and it is worth the extra effort.

Tips and advice

The jump in self discipline, workload and effort at a level is different for everyone, but it is helpful for you prepare in whatever way you can, so that the hit isn’t so scary. I got hit so hard and was giving up by November; those videos about being tired are no joke.

Your friends are not always the best people to organise study groups with. Unless you are sure, that work is going to get done, its best that you find people that you can get serious with. I still stand by this because I know not everyone has a nice study space at school and the sooner you get used to focusing alone or better yet with a teacher, the better.

If you feel yourself losing focus and even after taking a break, you’re uninterested,stop and refresh at another time or the next day. You’re brain is doing so because it cannot fit anything else in there and forcing yourself isn’t helping anyone. If you continuously burn yourself out, you will find it difficult to come back to the work because you’re constantly reminding yourself of how much of a chore it is. - I got burned out twice and never recovered. Please take care.

Ask your teachers and your head of year questions. The magic word “ucas” is going to be popping up and soon enough you’re going to be worrying about your personal statement.(Its popping up right now for me </3) If you have a query, find a time to talk with them because it is invaluable support. If you’re like me, write on a piece of paper the questions you have and meet your teacher in a free or at lunch so you can be comfortable and get down what you can. They’re a lot more understanding than I thought.

You can buy all the supplies and ask all the questions but implementing these keys are all on YOU. If you feel yourself slipping, be honest and accept it because if you keep running from it, you could seriously damage your physical and mental health. Keep a diary so you can notice patterns in your energy.

Your best is your best. Succcess is subjective blah blah blah and no one can take that from you. When you get your results, you know what you put into those exams/coursework , so you are entitled to disappointment or joy.

This took me a while to make so I appreciate any comments or reblogs. I love you random person.  If you got to this point I would appreciate it if you could follow my general account on Instgram @fairy_lierre, as I’m going to rest my studygram. Stay tuned for lots more on a level advice and life update <3