#lucifer has not had to flirt with someone for over 10k years and all he did in eden was be like 'hey whats wrong' to a woman who

[eggcats]

Radioapple where Lucifer realizes he likes Alastor and freaks out because HOW do you FLIRT with someone?!?! Oh, father, he's ruining this before he even has a CHANCE to be rejected. He's basically rejecting himself at this point! (Charlie is the only thing keeping him from taking a century sabbatical and hoping Alastor forgets he exists by then.)

Angel: "Didn't you like, seduce the first 2 women on earth?"

Lucifer: "My only competition was ADAM. I just had to stand there and NOT say, "Nice tits babe!" It wasn't hard!"

Ironically, Lucifer’s version of not-flirting is working on Alastor, because how can he not be charmed by the most powerful being in Hell turning bright gold when he sees him, walking into a wall as he tries to escape, and then panic giving him whatever random rubber duck he happens to have in his hands before portaling away immediately.

(Although he needs to figure something out with the rubber ducks. It's getting ridiculous at this point. He already has an entire bookshelf dedicated to them, and he's running out of space. He needs to talk to Lucifer about perhaps making a business to sell them or something. Or he WOULD, if he could get Lucifer to say more than 5 words to him before running away.)

Alastor eventually gets Lucifer to talk to him by confusing him so much that you can almost see his brain buffering to catch up.

(Alastor makes his OWN rubber duck, and the next time Lucifer shoves one at him, he puts the one he's currently carrying in Lucifer's hands before he can leave. Alastor can not believe this worked.)