#lucho finally had a good moment go you man

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OH MY GOD THE GRIMACE JERSEYS I LOVE YOU

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You’ll be my queen, and I’ll be your moat

Pairing: Juliantina

Words: 8112

Also on AO3

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“¡Ayudame!”

A call for help broke the tense silence. Valentina and Lucho, who had been waiting just around the corner from where they had tracked Lupita’s phone signal, both startled. They lurched off the hood of Lucho’s car as a woman sprinted towards them as best she could in her heels.

Lucho reached out to her protectively. “Señora, what’s happening? Are you okay?”

The hat covering her hair initially threw Valentina off, but she knew exactly who the woman was. “Lupita!” She pulled her further towards the car, checking behind her for another, smaller figure. “What about Juliana?”

Instead, two men wielding guns rounded the corner. Lucho immediately threw himself in front of them, his arms spread to shield the women behind him. “Tranquila, por favor. They’re women.”

“Calm down?” The man in front leveled his handgun at Lucho’s chest. “I’m not calm.”

The wail of sirens became audible in the distance, and as the man’s attention wavered, his aim skewed off-center. His bullet hit Lucho in his shoulder, its force throwing him to the ground.

The man approached Lupita, his gun almost pressed against her sternum. But he hesitated, his eyes flicking from her to the oncoming police cars. Finally, he turned and ran, shouting “¡Vamanos!” to his companion.

As the narcos escaped back around the corner, police cars pulled up alongside Lucho’s car. Valentina dropped to her knees, pressing her hands against the blood bubbling up from Lucho’s shoulder. He groaned, and she nearly cried in relief. He was alive.

Sirens shrieked in the distance, and as the narcos around her froze, Juliana knew this was her only chance to escape. From her place on her knees, she elbowed Alacrán with as much force as she could muster. Alacrán doubled over in pain, and she sprung to her feet, moving forward before she was even fully upright.

Juliana sprinted down the street in the direction her mother took, dodging Jacobo’s outstretched arms without thought. She ignored the crack of a large gun from over her head, and the pops of handguns as the narcos and police traded fire. Her sole focus was the side street just ahead, where she could see the strobe of police lights. If she could just get to them…

She skidded to a halt as she rounded the corner and saw the scene waiting for her. Police cars and an ambulance clogged the street next to a fancy silver car. A man lay on the ground, several figures kneeling beside him, including her mother and, somehow, Valentina.

Before she could wrap her mind around the sight, she heard a shout of, “Freeze!” She turned to find a police officer with his gun pointed straight at her. She thrust her hands in the air, her knees locking in place.

Valentina and Lupita’s heads both jerked up at the commotion. When Lupita saw who it was, she let out a ragged gasp and threw herself towards Juliana, Valentina not far behind.

“¡Mi hija, mi hija, mi hija!” Lupita cried, flinging her arms around her and pressing her close.

With a sob, Juliana buried herself in Lupita’s arms, letting her rock them back and forth. “Má…”

She peeked over Lupita’s shoulder, meeting Valentina’s own teary eyes, and stretched out a hand towards her. Valentina immediately took it in her own, bending her head over it as she drew it to her heart.

Peppering kisses across Juliana’s forehead, Lupita took her face in her hands. “Juli, I don’t know what I would do if something had happened to you, mi amor.” She pressed Juliana’s forehead to hers before drawing her back to her chest. “You’re okay, you’re fine. Mi vida.”

Juliana could only cling to her in relief. All day she had lived with the fear that she would never see her mother again, and then she had watched as armed men chased her down to kill her. But now she was here, alive and unharmed.

“You’re hurt!” Lupita said, her thumb finding the corner of Juliana’s lip where the skin had split. She drew back to guide Juliana to the ambulance, but she just shook her head.

“No, má, I’m fine.”

Out of her mother’s embrace, her attention was consumed by Valentina. She still had Juliana’s knuckles pressed to her chest, and when their eyes met once more, fresh tears tracked down her cheeks. Valentina reached out for Juliana’s other hand, tucking it next to her heart as well and drawing Juliana with it. They rested their foreheads together for a moment, basking in each other’s presence, before Valentina threw her arms around Juliana in a crushing hug.

“Juls,�� she murmured, turning her nose into Juliana’s hair. She dropped several kisses on her hair before holding her even tighter. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

Juliana’s breath stuttered, and she clung to Valentina’s shirt, the dam of her own tears finally breaking. The press of Valentina’s arms, the scent of her perfume was making her head spin. Not even a minute ago she had been kneeling in the street with a gun aimed at her head, and now she was wrapped in the embrace of the girl she loved.

“I…” She swallowed, tried again. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

Valentina pulled back just enough to meet Juliana’s eyes. She took a moment to take in Juliana’s face, mascara smeared and lip bloody, but alive and whole. “Claro que sí, Juls. I had to be here when you were rescued, to see that you were safe. The worry was eating me up inside.”

With a sniff, Juliana twisted her lips to the side. She leaned her forehead against Valentina’s, her eyes drifting close, her breathing shaky, as her aching heart pulled her closer to the other girl.

Valentina pressed her nose to Juliana’s, rubbing it sweetly in a bunny kiss, before closing the last few centimeters between their mouths and taking Juliana’s lips in a kiss. Juliana melted into it, boneless in Valentina’s hold as she lost herself to the taste of Valentina’s mouth. 

When they broke apart, Valentina didn’t let Juliana go far, drawing her back to her chest. Juliana didn’t protest, snuggling as close as she could get.

“I still can’t believe you’re here,” she murmured. “How did you know to come here?”

“I told the police where you were.” Juliana drew back slightly in surprise, and Valentina gave her a wobbly smile. “We figured out your location, and then we gave it to Montilla...”

“You were the one who called the police?” Lupita interrupted, eyes wide. Both girls started, having briefly forgotten she was even there.

Before Valentina could respond, Montilla walked up to them. “Ladies, we need to get you out of here. The area still has not been completely secured. Sígame.”

He escorted them to an empty police car. Holding the door open, he helped Lupita and Valentina climb in the back seat, but stopped Juliana as she tried to follow. “Señorita Valdes, you need to be checked out by the paramédicos before you go anywhere.”

“No, I’m fine,” Juliana tried to argue.

Lupita leaned over Valentina, reaching back for Juliana. “No, espera…”

“Tranquila, señora.” Montilla put a hand on the car door, subtly stopping her. “It’s a necessary medical measure to make sure she’s totally fine.”

Juliana crossed her arms, frustrated with Montilla’s interference. She didn’t want to be separated from Valentina or Lupita, didn’t want to spend any more time on this police-clogged side street. But she knew it would be easier to just listen to him for now instead of fighting with him. “Ya, fine, I’ll go.” She caught Lupita’s eye around Montilla’s arm. “Mamá, it’s okay. You two should get out of here.”

Lupita looked reluctant, but when Juliana gave her a nod, she leaned back into her seat. Montilla closed the car door, thumping the roof twice to signal the driver they were good to go. He escorted Juliana over to the ambulance where a paramedic was waiting, then disappeared back into the hubbub of police officers and strobing lights. The paramedic redirected Juliana to a police van parked nearby, her medical kit in hand. “Perdon, the ambulance needs to leave as soon as it can, we need to get the other patient to the hospital.”

“Someone else got hurt?” Juliana asked as she sat in the open van door.

The paramedic nodded distractly, already peering at her split lip. “A young man named Lucho. He was shot in the shoulder.”

Lucho had been there too? Juliana’s stomach plummeted. Valentina had been with Lucho again. But… Valentina had said they tracked her whereabouts. They drove all the way out here, putting themselves in danger, to wait until she was rescued. Why would Valentina do that if…? Juliana didn’t know what to think.

“Will he be all right?” Juliana asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.

“We hope so. The bullet missed any major organs, so it’s likely he’ll be fine.” Taking Juliana’s chin carefully in her hand, the paramedic brought an alcohol wipe to her split lip. “This will sting a bit.”

Juliana hissed as the wipe touched her wound, but kept herself still as the paramedic finished cleaning her lip and dabbed an antiseptic on it.

“It’s not bad enough for stitches, so as long as you put some ice on it and let it rest it should heal just fine,” she instructed. “Now I’m just going to do a very simple check for injuries.”

Juliana simply nodded, looking forward to the exam being over. The paramedic gently palpated along her torso and limbs, checking for any wounds, and asked her to bend and rotate her joints to ensure everything was working the way it should. Besides the split lip, the only other injuries she found were a pattern of overlapping bruises on Juliana’s arms, a faint rope burn on her wrists from her restraints, and mild dehydration. Handing over a water bottle with instructions to finish the entire thing, the paramedic gave her a clean bill of health.

As the paramedic walked away, another police officer approached her. “Señorita Valdes? Detective Montilla had to leave, so I’m going to escort you to the police station.”

With a sigh, she followed him to another police car, a little surprised when he opened the passenger door for her instead of the rear. Maybe not every police officer had their head all the way up their ass.

At the police station, Lupita and Valentina waited anxiously in Montilla’s office for his return. Lupita fidgeted with her phone, until it finally lit up with a text from Juliana.

Má, estoy bien. El paramédico dice que estoy sano. Un policía me está llevando a la estación.

With a sob of relief, she hurried over to Valentina. “Juliana just messaged me to say she’s okay. A paramedic says she’s healthy.”

“¿En serio?” Valentina instinctively reached out to her, drawing her into a hug. “Come here. That’s good.”

“You shouldn’t have gone to that place, muchacha,” Montilla scolded without preamble as he strode into the room. The women pulled apart as he crossed behind his desk, picking up a folder and brandishing it at Valentina. “You didn’t think about what you could be exposed to. You had already done enough giving us the address and warning us of the kidnapping.”

Lupita gazed at her with wide eyes at the confirmation, but Valentina ignored her. She didn’t need Montilla to berate her; she had already spent the long, tense minutes waiting in his office telling herself the exact same things. She had been reckless, and put Lucho in needless danger. It was her fault he got shot.

“I want to see Lucho,” she told Montilla.

He looked at her coldly. “That’s not possible at the moment. You’ll have to wait until he’s out of surgery.” Valentina flinched at his words, but he ignored her. “Besides, we still need your statement.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Lupita confronted him. “With everything that happened, she shouldn’t even be here. Can’t you see the state that this girl is in? When she feels better, she will come back and give her statement.”

Montilla looked between them, then let out a heavy sigh. “Bien. Call someone to come for you.”

The two women looked at each other for a moment, surprised that Lupita’s words had worked. Lupita took Valentina by the arm, guiding her quickly from the office. Once they were outside, she drew Valentina to a stop.

“I didn’t know before it was you that called the police.” When Valentina almost imperceptibly nodded in confirmation, Lupita raised her hand to cup the back of her head. “Gracias.”

Valentina could only give her another short nod, too dizzy with emotion to form an answer. She stepped away from Lupita quickly and made her way towards the lobby. As she went, she tried to make sense of her swirling feelings. She was relieved Juliana was safe, relieved down to her very bones. But at the same time, she felt worried and guilty about Lucho. If she had left well enough alone, he wouldn’t have been hurt. But his hacking had allowed them to give the police Juliana’s location. And once she knew where Juliana was, Valentina knew she would have driven herself mad if she had stayed home while Juliana was in danger.

She pulled out her phone, pushing aside the jumble in her brain for more immediate concerns. She sent a text to Alirio, asking for him to come pick her up. Lucho’s car had been left in the street; she would need to let someone know to get it...

“Val?” The sound of her name paused her pacing feet, and she turned to find Juliana framed in the doorway to the station.

Valentina’s breath hitched, and tears sprang to her eyes. “Juls.” She dashed over, gathering Juliana to her. “Juls…”

Of off the street and out of danger, the reality of Juliana’s safety washed over her. Just being able to touch her, to know that she was alive and whole in her arms, brought her immeasurable comfort. Juliana clutched onto her in turn, pressing her face into her collarbone.

“¿Estás bien?” Valentina asked, her hands tracing up and down Juliana’s spine. “The paramedic said you’re okay?”

Juliana nodded into her shoulder. “I’m all right. They didn’t… They didn’t hurt me.”

Valentina noticed the pause in her reassurance, pulling back to look at her more fully. She ran her fingers under Juliana’s puffy, mascara-stained eyes, over the split in her lip. She thought back to her own time as a hostage - the constant threats made against her. “Did they try?” she whispered before she could stop herself.

Juliana twisted her lips to the side, tears swimming in her eyes. Before she could say anything, they heard someone call Juliana’s name from the entrance.

“Juliana?” Panchito appeared in the doorway, hastening over to Juliana. She used the distraction to hurriedly wipe at her eyes with the heel of her palm. He wrapped her in a hug, giving her a relieved smile. “I’m so glad you’re safe. Your mamá called me to come get you guys. Where is she?”

“I think she’s still in the hall,” Valentina answered him, gesturing over her shoulder with her chin.

“Gracias,” he thanked her, and moved off in search of Lupita.

Valentina looked back at Juliana, a faint sadness in her eyes as she smoothed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You want to be with your family now?”

“No. I mean…” Juliana flushed, her gaze skirting Valentina’s. “I don’t want to be apart from you yet.”

Warmth filled Valentina’s chest, and she took Juliana’s hand in her own. “Yo tampoco.”

Juliana gave her a small, wobbly smile, which she returned with as much comfort as she could muster.

At that moment, Panchito returned with Lupita in tow. When she saw Juliana, Lupita ran to her, throwing her arms around her. “Juli!”

Juliana smiled in her mother’s hold. “Má. Is everything okay here?”

“Sí. We can come back another time to make our statements. But right now we can go home.” Lupita put her arm around Juliana’s shoulders, making to guide her out of the police station.

But Juliana hesitated, looking towards Valentina. She had meant it when she said she didn’t want to be parted from Valentina. But she suddenly realized that if Valentina came with them, that would put her and Lupita in close contact. And considering what had happened the last time they had spoken - the entire reason she had left home - she wasn’t certain how they would react.

As if sensing her thoughts, Valentina said, “I’ve called Alirio to come get me. I can meet you another time…”

A lance went through Juliana’s heart at her words, and she knew that for any of her reservations, she couldn’t handle being away from Valentina right now. “No, por favor. I don’t…” She looked back at Lupita, distress painting her features.

Lupita cleared her throat. “I suppose she should come with us. She is the one that brought the police to you.”

Juliana sagged slightly in relief, leaning into Lupita’s side for a moment before reaching out to Valentina, taking her hand in her own.

Valentina couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. It had been almost painful to suggest they part, and she was glad Juliana had turned her down. “Should I have Alirio drive us all, then?”

Panchito spoke up a little sheepishly. “I brought my car here, so I can take everyone back to the house.”

“Bien, I’ll tell Alirio not to come,” Valentina replied with a nod, pulling out her phone without letting go of Juliana’s hand.

They all exited the police station and climbed into Panchito’s old four-door car. There was a bit of shuffling as they tried to figure out where everyone was sitting, but they settled down with all three women in the back seat, with Juliana in the middle and Valentina and Lupita on either side.

The drive was slightly awkward, silence filling the car as they wound through the city streets. Seated between Valentina and Lupita, Juliana couldn’t help but be hyper-aware of their movements, monitoring them for any sign of discomfort or unease. Was Lupita angry that Valentina was there? Did Valentina regret coming? Every fidget or sigh could mean a confrontation, and Juliana felt wound tight with her vigilance.

She almost sighed with relief when they finally pulled up in front of the house, having to hold back from pushing her mother out of the car as she scrambled out after her. They trooped through the outer gate and Lupita made a beeline for the kitchen. “Come. Are you hungry? I’ll make you something. Do you want something to drink?”

“No má, I don’t want anything. Estoy bien,” Juliana called after her, but Lupita disappeared into the kitchen all the same.

Juliana and Valentina trailed behind, lingering so it was just the two of them. After a moment’s hesitation, Valentina danced her knuckles over the backs of Juliana’s fingers, offering her hand, and Juliana laced their fingers together without hesitation. Feeling emboldened by Juliana’s immediate acceptance of her touch, she pulled the other girl fully to a stop, spinning her to face her. With her free hand, she traced up Juliana’s other arm, dusting her fingers over Juliana’s shoulder before she wrapped them around the back of her neck. She couldn’t help but step closer, drawn in by Juliana’s gravity, before resting their foreheads together.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering shut. She breathed in deeply; Juliana’s scent, though hidden behind grime and sweat, filled her with peace.

Juliana sighed, her breath washing over Valentina’s lips. She drew back slowly, guiding Valentina over to the bench in the yard. “I’m so sorry about what happened to Lucho.” She said as they sat, squeezing Valentina’s hand.

“Me too.” The guilt Valentina had pushed away bubbled back to the surface, and tears pricked at her eyes. “He helped me find your location.”

Lucho had helped Valentina find her? “How?”

“No sé. He tracked your mamá’s phone and we got there and -” Valentina cut herself off, looking at Juliana helplessly.

Juliana raised her eyebrows, surprised and impressed. “Claro, you said you told the police the location.”

“We gave it to them because… He got it and then he asked me if I wanted to go look for you, and I just wanted to be there so you’d see me when you came out from El Alacrán’s house.” God, she had been so reckless. Even if they thought the police would already be there, even if her heart had ached for Juliana… She couldn’t hold back a sob. “I never imagined what would happen…”

Juliana tucked Valentina’s hair behind her ear and cupped her face in her hands. It hurt her heart to see Valentina so upset like this. But what she had said lit a spark of hope within her. Valentina had wanted to be the first thing Juliana saw when she was rescued. She had been longing to see Juliana, just as Juliana had prayed for a chance to see her again.

But those emotions felt too big to fit in her throat, so instead she focused on what was more immediate. “The paramédico who checked me over said Lucho should be fine,” she reassured Valentina. “She said the bullet missed anything major.”

Relief peeked from behind the tears in Valentina’s eyes. “¿En serio?”

Juliana nodded, and Valentina pulled her close again, tucking her face into Juliana’s neck. Lucho was going to be fine. She hadn’t caused his death.

Letting out a long breath, Juliana cupped the back of her head, letting silence linger for a moment. She felt comforted by comforting Valentina; by focusing on the other girl’s problems, she could push the horrors of her recent experiences to the back of her mind.

“Do you want to figure out what hospital he was taken to? We can ask Sergio, maybe someone would have told him,” she suggested. “I can go with you if you want.”

Valentina pulled away from her, putting space between them. The mention of Sergio dumped ice water over her. She was reminded of the terrible revelation that had preceded this whole ordeal. The intimacy she had been sharing with Juliana, the comfort and assurances, should all be someone else’s. “Shouldn’t you go with Sergio?”

Juliana’s brown furrowed. “Why would I go with Sergio?”

“He’s probably very affected too, and you’re going out with him, no?” Valentina did her best to seem unperturbed, but the words seared her throat as she said them.

“No, Val. I’m not going out with him,” Juliana said, looking away, her chest growing tight with dread.

Valentina’s eyes grew distant. “So is it also a lie that you slept with him?”

Juliana felt the world slip out from under her. Valentina already knew. She pressed her lips together, trying to keep her heartbreak from spilling out. During her long hours held captive, she had thought herself in circles, trying to figure out the best way to explain the situation and wishing desperately for the chance to do so. Wishing that it had never happened in the first place.

But all of those planned speeches and imagined scenarios fled from her mind, and she floundered for what to say.

“Val,” she said, unable to keep the pleading tone from her voice. “Things weren’t planned that way, okay? I had just left home and I had nowhere to stay -”

“You left home?” Valentina couldn’t help but interrupt, surprised. At Juliana’s nod, she asked, “¿Por qué?”

Juliana tried to shrug. “Lupita and I were fighting. It was… pues… it was after she caught us.”

She didn’t need to finish the thought. After she caught us kissing. Valentina remembered how angry Lupita had been, and how shaken she herself had felt. “You left because she caught us together?”

“No, she -” Juliana ran a hand through her hair with a huff. “She didn’t get it. She kept trying to say there was something wrong with how I felt. But she’s wrong.”

There was a glint of steel in Juliana’s eyes, and Valentina couldn’t help but admire it. But she couldn’t understand how Juliana could sound so determined and still do what she had done. “Then what about Sergio?”

A grimace crossed Juliana’s face. “He was helping me out after I left and… We started drinking mezcal and…”

Valentina scoffed. In the back of her mind, she knew it wasn’t the time to be acting this way. But all of her heightened emotions, the fear and relief and guilt, had somehow twisted and morphed into this sting of betrayal and resentment. “Now you drink mezcal? Que chido.”

“Mira, Val, you have to understand something.” Juliana’s eyes were imploring now. She gripped her hands together to keep from reaching out to Valentina. “I was not okay. Things weren’t going well. I was confused, I didn’t know what was going on with me.” Her voice quieted as she continued, “We weren’t together.”

“Well, I suppose you have the right to do whatever you want,” Valentina said, barely able to get the words out. Juliana was right. Though they had briefly made up after Valentina’s own hostage situation, Juliana had soon succumbed once more to the pressures surrounding them and broke off their relationship. She hadn’t been Valentina’s to betray, but Valentina felt the bite anyway. She couldn’t help but feel like Juliana had given up everything they had, had run from her straight into the arms of a boy.

But there was something that had been gnawing at her ever since she found out, and she couldn’t help but ask, “¿Te gusto?”

“No,” Juliana replied immediately. “No, I didn’t like it. It doesn’t come close to what I experienced with you. Te lo juro.”

What I experienced with you. The way Juliana put it made it sound like so much more that sex. That was how Valentina felt as well; it had been an experience, something wonderful and life-changing. “Then why?” she couldn’t help but implore.

Juliana’s brow puckered, Valentina’s teary eyes piercing into her soul. “No sé…” She dug a fingernail into her palm, mentally berating herself for her inability to voice her feelings. Words had never been her strong suit, but she needed them now, needed to explain how she felt to Valentina. “Val, I need you to understand, it wasn’t you. I didn’t do it to hurt you, or because I didn’t care about you anymore. I still…” She swallowed the rest of the sentence, not daring to push things. “But everything felt like it was going wrong, and then Sergio offered the mezcal… I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

Valentina tried to understand, but Juliana’s explanations only served to rankle her further. “Juls, I don’t get it. You say you didn’t mean to, but then how did it happen? How am I supposed to believe it was nothing if you don’t explain?” Her voice had begun to rise, but she fought to keep it even. “I want to believe you, I do. I want to believe you weren’t… weren’t doing this to get back at me somehow. But I need you to give me a real explanation.”

Juliana hung her head, screwing up her mouth, trying to hold back tears. She deserved Valentina’s mistrust. But Valentina deserved the full truth. She fought to scale her inner walls, battling against her instincts of self-protection to bare herself for Valentina.

“I just wanted everything to stop. To stop hurting,” she murmured after a moment, unable to raise her head. “I was so tired of hurting.”

At her whispered words, Valentina felt herself softening slightly. She could relate - how often had she done the same thing, turned to alcohol or pills to numb her feelings? Then a concerning thought came into her head. “So what, did you black out? Did he take advantage of you?”

Juliana shook her head. “No. Not like that. I mean…” Maybe Sergio had used the alcohol to ply her with, to make her more open to his suggestion, but she was the one that had actually moved forward with it, wasn’t she? Still, she owed it to Valentina to explain how things had gone, so she pushed forward. “Earlier that day Lupita had been hounding me, trying to say I didn’t know what a normal relationship was. And then Sergio was saying these things…”

“¿Como qué?”

“Como…” Juliana hesitated, thinking of all the talk of manipulation, and how easily she had been affected by it. “I don’t want to say…”

“Dime,” Valentina pressed.

Deciding to cut to the point, Juliana admitted what had really bothered her. “He was saying that it was inevitable that you and Lucho would get back together. And after I had walked in on you…”

Valentina sat back, galled. “I knew you had gotten the wrong impression, but that was nothing.”

“It was?” Juliana couldn’t stop herself from questioning.

“Nada en absoluto. I didn’t even want to see him at first, but then I learned that Guille was in trouble -” She saw concern flit across Juliana’s face, but shook her head slightly to stop her from asking. “I’ll tell you later. But Lucho offered to help, and he was comforting me because I was upset. And then you saw us and you ran away, and you wouldn’t even stop when I called you, and I could tell you took it the wrong way…”

Valentina and Lucho weren’t back together. Juliana was relieved, at the same time she was ashamed for assuming the worst. “Perdóname, Val. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. It’s just… You’ve been with Lucho for so long, and I’m just…” She trailed off, waving a disparaging hand at herself.

Valentina cocked her head. “No entiendo.”

“Val… I’m just… I’m not…” Juliana made a frustrated noise at the back of her throat. She picked at her fingers for a moment, studiously avoiding Valentina’s gaze, before dropping her shoulders with a heavy sigh. “I thought… I thought you had finally gotten tired of me. That you realized I was too much work and went back.”

As Juliana’s voice cracked, Valentina felt her heart do the same. The resentment evaporated, replaced with a bone-deep ache for the girl beside her. Too much work? How could she think that, when being with her was the easiest thing in the world? How could she ever tire of her, when she cherished every moment they spent together?

She leaned forward, taking Juliana’s hands in her own and drawing them to her heart. “Juls… mi amor…” The way Juliana looked up at her, incredulity in her watery eyes at the pet name, broke Valentina’s heart all over again. “I don’t know who’s filling your head with these crazy thoughts, but I could never feel that way. I love spending time with you, it’s all I ever want to do. You make me the happiest I’ve been in a long time.”

She moved closer to Juliana, who was staring at her as if trying to discern any speck of dishonesty. Valentina was determined not to provide her with any. “I missed you every day we were apart. I thought about you all the time.”

“Yo también,” Juliana confessed, and her face crumpled, tears beginning to spill from her eyes. “Lo siento mucho, Val. I shouldn’t have let you go. I shouldn’t have let everything get to me.”

“Come here,” murmured Valentina, pulling Juliana into her arms. Juliana immediately fell into her, her hands wrapping around her back. “I know how hard it can be. How horrible people can be. It’s okay.”

Juliana sniffed, turning her face into Valentina’s shoulder. “How can you forgive me so easily?”

Bringing her hand up to cup the back of Juliana’s head, Valentina rested her cheek on her hair. “Porque me encantas.”

With that Juliana began to cry, her quiet tears wetting the shoulder of Valentina’s top. Valentina simply stroked her hair as she held her closer.

When she had calmed again, Juliana drew back, wiping at her eyes with the backs of her hands. She looked to the side for a moment, too embarrassed to meet Valentina’s eyes, before sheepishly wiping at Valentina’s shoulder. “Sorry I got your shirt wet.”

Valentia laughed lightly. “No es nada.” She smoothed her fingers across Juliana’s cheeks, wiping away the tracks of her tears. “I’m sorry I made you cry. It’s - I shouldn’t have even brought it up, it was inappropriate…”

“No, Val, está bien. I’m glad we talked about it.” She gave Valentina the best smile she could manage at the moment, which Valentina gratefully returned.

Valentina picked up Juliana’s hand once more, idly playing with her fingers while they sat in silence for a moment. She felt badly for berating Juliana, especially so soon after she had been through a life-threatening event. She wanted to comfort Juliana, to bring her the same sense of security she had brought Valentina after her own hostage ordeal. Thinking back to the things Juliana had done for her after that time, she decided to start off with a similarly small but meaningful gesture.

“Do you want some water?” she asked, “Or something to eat?”

Now that her emotions had calmed, all Juliana felt was tired. But when she thought about it, she hadn’t had anything to eat in a long while, not since that bowl of soup she had only been able to half-finish. “That would probably be good.”

Valentina rose quickly, offering her hand to help Juliana up, which she took with a soft smile. They wandered slowly towards the house, where Lupita and Panchito were sitting at the small table just outside the kitchen. Spread out across the tabletop were a number of plates and pitchers.

“Oh, mija!” Lupita jumped up from her seat when she saw the girls approaching. “I got out some snacks for you, I didn’t know how hungry you would be.”

Juliana sat heavily in her chair, doing her best to give Lupita an appreciative smile. “It looks good, má.”

Smoothing her hand over Juliana’s hair, Lupita poured a glass of water for her, then began making a plate for her, piling up small crackers and bits of fruit. Juliana took a sip of the water, then rested her cheek in her hand as she picked at the plate Lupita put in front of her. She tried nibbling at a piece of melon, but despite logically knowing that she hadn’t eaten for hours on end and she needed food, she found that the moment the snack passed her lips she lost all appetite. She put down the melon and tried a bit of cracker, but it had the same effect.

As she put the cracker back down as well, Lupita looked over at her in concern. “What’s wrong, Juli? Do you not like any of it?”

“No, no, it’s just...” She sighed, poking at the food. “I guess I’m just… not very hungry.”

Valentina sighed as well. “After my… well, after, I didn’t have much appetite either. But the water you brought me helped.”

Juliana understood where she was going, and picked up her glass again, making herself take another drink of water. It made Valentina smile, and Juliana couldn’t help but give her a tiny smile in return. When Valentina looked away to get her own water, Juliana glanced over to see her mother watching them carefully. She shot Lupita a wary look, but she only smiled sadly. Before Juliana could decide whether to question her, Lupita’s phone buzzed, tearing her attention away.

After taking a second to read the message, she looked back up at Juliana. “It’s from Beltran,” she told her. “He wants to discuss something with you.”

“¿Qué? Why does he want to talk to me?” The thought of the man filled her with irritation. He had a terrible habit of interjecting himself where he didn’t belong.

“No sé, but it sounds like it’s important,” Lupita told her.

“Well tell him I don’t want to talk,” Juliana snapped, suddenly angry. She was already bone-weary; she couldn’t imagine dragging herself from the house to talk to a man she barely knew.

Lupita looked at her pleadingly. “Pero Juli, he tried to help you. He’s the one that set up the exchange, to get you out…”

“So what? I don’t want to talk to him!” Juliana snarled. She pushed away from the table, feeling like she needed to get away. Without another word, she stalked off towards her room.

Lupita jumped up to follow her, but Panchito took her wrist. When she looked down at him, he shook his head slightly, and she visibly deflated. As she sat back down, Panchito look over to Valentina. “Valentina, will you go check on her?”

“Claro,” Valentina said, clambering to her feet. She quickly followed after Juliana, but paused outside her closed door, listening for a moment. No sound came from the other side of the door, no cries or sounds of anger, but Valentina knew this must be the right room from the faint glow of what must have been a lamp from under the door. Tentatively, she reached out a hand and knocked lightly.

“Má, go away!” came Juliana’s muffled shout.

“It’s Valentina,” she called back softly.

There was a moment of silence, then the sound of movement before the door opened slowly. As she peeked around the edge, Juliana’s eyes were red, but it didn’t look like she had been crying.

“Can I come in?”

Juliana opened the door wordlessly, allowing Valentina to step inside and closing it after her. Valentina tried to catch her eyes, but she avoided her gaze, looking away and at the floor. After a moment, she let out a heavy sigh and crossed to sit on the foot of her bead. Valentina followed and sat next to her. Unsure of what else to do, she placed her hand next to Juliana’s on the covers, her pinky overlapping Juliana’s.

They sat like that for a moment, Juliana still refusing to look at Valentina, before she surged to her feet.

“I don’t get what my mamá sees in that guy,” she said, beginning to pace. “He needs to stop sticking his nose in where he’s not wanted.”

Valentina watched her pace, concerned about how quickly her mood had shifted from mostly calm to furious. She hated to see Juliana so worked up, especially after all she had just been through. “Amor, come sit down.” She reached a hand out towards Juliana, but she turned away, pacing further into the room.

Juliana curled and uncurled her hands into fists. She wanted to calm down, but her skin felt like it was crawling and she felt jumpy, overheated. She took a hold of her jacket, shrugging it from her shoulder, but stopped cold as the movement of the fabric released a familiar, sickly scent.

Gasoline.

She froze for a moment, before ripping the jacket off and throwing it across the room.

“Juls?” Valentina asked, startled. “¿Qué pasa?”

But Juliana didn’t answer, her breathing growing ragged and uneven. Once the jacket was gone she immediately started on the rest of her clothes, stripping them from her body and throwing them away from her. But she could still smell the fuel, the odor invading her nostrils.

“Get it off.” The words tumbled from her mouth unconsciously. The acrid scent clung to her, and she swiped at her skin, trying to wipe it away. “Por favor, don’t…”

“What, Juls? What is it?” Valentina rushed to her, completely lost and frightened by her actions. “Juls, you’re scaring me.”

Her hair. It must have gotten in her hair. Juliana clawed at her head, her fingers yanking, almost trying to pull her hair from her scalp in her frenzy.

“The gasoline,” she gasped. “The gasoline, por favor, they’re going to… oh god…” She let out a moan, sick with fear.

The bottom fell out of Valentina’s stomach when she realized something terrible must have happened to Juliana that she was reliving. “Juls, I’ve got you, hold on.”

She took Juliana’s shoulders and guided her into the adjoining bathroom, Juliana too far gone to fight against her. Reaching blindly into the shower to turn on the water, she pulled off the few clothes Juliana hadn’t managed to rid herself of and pushed her in, not waiting for it to warm up. She grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squirted some directly onto Juliana’s hair, rubbing it in as quickly as she could. Seemingly unaware of Valentina’s actions, Juliana scrubbed desperately at herself with her hands, her fingers digging into her skin and leaving angry red marks over her chest and stomach.

Valentina snatched up her hands, afraid she was going to hurt herself. “Espera, baby. I’ve got you.” She backed Juliana under the water, letting it stream over them. “Shhh, mi amor, you’re alright, you’re okay. Just breathe.”

Rocking them back and forth, she murmured soothing words to Juliana, doing her best to calm her down. She ran her sudsy hands over Juliana’s back and stomach, trying to clean her without letting go. Though she quaked beneath Valentina’s hands, Juliana’s breathing gradually slowed as she came back to herself. Finally, she blinked a few times, and when her eyes met Valentina’s they were clear and lucid.

“¿Mi amor?” Valentina questioned.

Juliana’s eyes filled with tears, and her lip wobbled. “Val…”

With that, she collapsed into Valentina, sobs escaping her chest. Valentina pressed her close, holding her as she cried, her heart breaking once more for the girl in her arms.

The water had begun to go cold by the time Juliana’s cries petered out. Without speaking, Valentina got towels for them, wrapping up Juliana and guiding her back into the bedroom. Once she sat her down on the bed, she went through Juliana’s dresser, getting underwear and t-shirts for them both.

Turning back to Juliana, Valentina took a moment to study her. She looked truly exhausted, her shoulders drooping and eyes half-closed. Valentina almost hadn’t noticed in the shower, but there was a mesh of overlapping bruises along her upper arms, and her wrists where they lay in her lap looked chafed and raw. Stepping forward, she took Juliana’s chin in her hand, tilting it up and running her thumb against her lip where it had split and begun to bruise as well.

She felt tears forming in her eyes as Juliana gazed up at her with her endless brown eyes, so she quickly moved on to help Juliana dress, blinking rapidly to clear her vision. Once Juliana was dressed and laying down, Valentina pulled on her own clothes and slid onto the bed beside her, pulling the blankets up over them both.

They lay there in the quiet for a moment, Valentina petting Juliana’s wet hair back from her face, before Juliana spoke up.

“I can’t get it out,” she whispered, almost too soft for Valentina to understand.

Valentina grasped her face, fearful of another backslide into memory. “No babe, we got it all I promise.”

With a small shake of her head, Juliana’s eyes began to well with tears again. “No,” she said, “the memories. I can’t get them out of my head.” Breaking eye contact with Valentina, she leveraged herself up on her elbows, turning her face away. “I don’t want to remember anymore, but I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Valentina pushed herself up onto her own elbow, reaching out for Juliana’s cheek and gently turning her to face her again. “Talk to me baby,” she murmured pleadingly.

Juliana shook her head again, but this time she didn’t look away. “I can’t. I don’t… I need the memories to go away, I need to stop thinking about it. That’s the only way I know how…”

Pain welled in Valentina’s chest. How many things had Juliana had to ignore, push to the back of her mind, to just keep putting one foot in front of the other? Outside of her mother and father, who were more often than not part of the problem, who had she had to talk to, to help her cope? Valentina was determined to be that person for Juliana.

“Maybe if you shared it a little bit it would help,” she suggested. Shared her story, shared her burdens.

Juliana looked at her with a furrowed brow. “Val, no, you’ve already been through enough…”

Shaking her head, Valentina cut her off. “Juls, baby, let me help you. Let me take care of you.” She put her hand around Juliana’s back, putting barely-there pressure between her shoulder blades to coax her closer. Juliana rolled towards her easily, allowing Valentina to wriggle her other arm under her body so she was holding her fully.

Juliana closed her eyes, leaning in to rest her forehead against Valentina’s collarbone. Her warm breath ebbed over Valentina’s skin, and she was silent for so long Valentina began to wonder if she had fallen asleep.

Finally, she began to speak in a low, soft voice. “It was… I’ve never been so scared, Val. I had just left the apartment Sergio rented, and I was feeling terrible, when these men came out of nowhere…”

Once she began, the story spilled out of her from beginning to end. Valentina listened in silence, her horror growing as Juliana recalled the visceral threats against her. 

“Juls, lo siento mucho.” Valentina said once Juliana’s words ran out, unable to stop a tear from spilling down her cheek. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Juliana reached out, wiping the tear away. “No Val, I… Don’t cry.”

Valentina pulled her closer, switching their positions and burying her face in Juliana’s neck. “I’m just so glad you got out of there. I’m so glad I got you back.”

Letting out a shuddering sigh, Juliana ran her fingers through Valentina’s hair, reveling in the tickle of her eyelashes against her neck. “Yo también,” she murmured to Valentina’s temple. She was. God, she was so thankful. Thankful to have survived the Sierra Cartel, thankful to not have ruined everything with Valentina. Beyond thankful for another chance with her.

Valentina placed a soft, open-mouthed kiss against Juliana’s pulse, then pulled back to meet her eyes with a soft look. “I’m here for you Juls, ¿vale? You don’t have to be okay all the time. Not around me.”

Tears prickled once more at the back of Juliana’s eyes, but she managed to give Valentina a crooked smile. “I might not be very good at not being okay, though. You’ll have to help me.”

Valentina returned Juliana’s smile; though it was small, it was dazzling. “Claro que sí, Juls. Whatever you need.”

To keep from crying, Juliana lurched forward to bury her face in Valentina’s hair, earning a giggle from the other girl. “Ven aquí,” she murmured, drawing Juliana with her as she wriggled down the bed until their heads were on the pillows. She turned over, pulling Juliana’s wrist across her middle so Juliana was molded to her back.

“Oh, I’m the big spoon?” Juliana questioned the nape of her neck, a smile turning up the corners of her lips.

Valentina nodded, wiggling closer and pulling Juliana tighter against her. “I thought it might help you not feel trapped.”

All Juliana could do was swallow, in awe of this girl’s thoughtfulness and caring. Pressing her forehead between Valentina’s shoulder blades, she whispered, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Valentina drew the hand she was holding up to her mouth, pressing a kiss to Juliana’s knuckles. “I don’t ever want to find out.”

Pushing herself up on an elbow, Juliana leaned over Valentina’s shoulder. Valentina rolled back slightly, turning her head to look up at Juliana. As she did, Juliana pressed their lips together, giving Valentina a deep, breathless kiss.

“Te amo, Val,” she said, her voice husky. “I wanted you to know.”

Valentina rolled all the way onto her back, pulling Juliana down on top of her. She snaked a hand around the back of Juliana’s head, drawing her into another long, deep kiss. “Yo también te amo, Juls,” she gasped as they came up for air. “Siempre.”

With the hand on the back of her head, she guided Juliana down once more, pillowing her head on her chest. “I’ll stay with you until the morning,” she told her, holding her close. “You don’t have to be afraid tonight.”

Juliana wrapped her arm around Valentina’s waist, pressing a kiss over her heart. “Never when I’m with you.”

[igglemouse]

Hello My Name Is...

Soledad Guevara and I’m from a small town in Selvadorada. You see, I never had much growing up. One parent being a teacher and the other a humble mailman, so yeah, simoleons were always hard to come by for me and my brother, but, here I am…out chasing dreams in Del Sol Valley. My plan? To become a star.

And acting is my route to getting there. Sure, sure, it’s hard. Most actors never make it big, well, most actors never even make it medium. Most just stay where I’m at, bit parts, commercials, just names on a credit screen really…but I like to think that I’m different. You must have confidence in this field. 

Moving to a new town also means meeting new people. Nora being one of them. She’s a fellow actress and one who has even more confidence than me…or maybe it is better to call it arrogance? I’ll speak more on her later though.

Another one is Lucho. We’ll learn more about him too but it should be noted that he’s incredibly attractive and kind of knows it? It sure doesn’t help that he’s seen as a prodigy in his line of work…umm, what do you call it? Soccer, fútbol, well, whatever you call it he’s pretty good at it and is likely going to be a big star himself, more on him in just a moment though…

This story is about me, after all, I’m the main character, the protagonist, if you can believe that. I’m an aspiring actress with big dreams and a loving papá that, well, would do anything to see me succeed. Even if it means taking rather big risks that put me in danger…hey, love can make you do some odd things. My dad, Stefano Guevara, just wanted to keep a fatherly eye on me and warning me to be patient and let life come to me.

But, sometimes, life comes at you fast…and what happens when you run into your new crush while working out at the gym and…AND…he invites you over to his place?

Well, you go, and you umm…you enjoy the night you spent with him and worry if maybe you gave it up a little too soon…

My papá did warn me and he called all that previous night I guess to check in on me. I never did tell him what I was up to that night, that’s not something you usually want to talk about with your parents after all. Either way, I tell him that I’m grown now and don’t need him hovering over me. He seems overly worried about something and at the time I couldn’t understand why. 

Meanwhile, Nora was advancing through her career at a super-fast rate. While I’m stuck doing commercials she claims she already has a spot on a TV show. At the time, it was a mystery as to how that happened, it could just be that she was super talented…or it could be something else. 

But you can only control what you can control and what I can control is…well, me! I focused on working hard and being flexible. Sure, I spent a lot of time doing Salty Suds commercials but it was something I was good at. Eventually, bigger opportunities would fall my way. 

I did at least consider Nora a friend of sorts, well enough to invite her over to my place and tell her a bit about my romance life. Once she found out that I was kind of interested in seeing Lucho she revealed to me that he was dating someone else already…if only I knew that when I slept with him. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t all bad news. A new director in town by the name of Darius Monroe had invited me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant because he had seen me in a few of those Salty Suds commercials and thought I fit perfectly for his movie. He talked about casting me and also flirted just a pinch. I kept the conversation focused on business though, especially with what happened with Lucho. 

But still, something was going on, not just with my love life but…something else I couldn’t quite explain. I kept getting these odd calls and eventually, the caller said that they are coming for their simoleons…yeah, not what you want to hear usually, especially since my dad took out some loan in order to finance me moving out and I never knew where he got those simoleons from.

Being from Selva I know that I have to take such threats seriously. For those that do not know, Selva is going through a rough time right now, ruled and dominated by cartels, the main one being the Sedona Cartel…so of course every knock at my door, every sound made could get me to jump. Thankfully, this time, it was just dad. He finally revealed that he did get a loan from the cartel and he really didn’t think they were going to squeeze a poor man out of his simoleons. It was his hope that once I made it big, and he believed that was just a matter of time, that I’d be able to easily pay off the loan. Yeah…maybe this wasn’t the best idea of his, I agree.

But, I still had a career to take care of and I was even doing new things! Like um, voidbop commercials! Yeah, not my first choice, but a check is a check.

Meanwhile, Nora is getting movie roles. She’s shooting through the industry faster than I can keep up with and I’m not exactly sure why, not at the time at least. It makes me a little jealous because I’m sure I am better than her in nearly every way.

But you know, my acting career was the least of my problems. That whole cartel thing with dad? Yeah, it was getting worse. A man by the name of Lorenzo who worked for the Sedona cartel made it very clear to my dad that he wanted his simoleons soon, like tomorrow soon, and if he doesn’t get them that he’s going to take me instead…y-yeah, I mean…yeah. 

I was still getting to know the city really and going out for a drink ran me into Lucho’s girlfriend or ex or I really wasn’t sure what was going on between them. I thought I was doing her a favor by telling her that Lucho had slept with me but she wasn’t very friendly. She told me I deserved Lucho and even called me scraggly. At least I learned that Lucho felt some kind of way about me, I wasn’t sure what it was, but at the time I believed that I was just a one night stand. I did hope on seeing him again. Steffi, his ex-girlfriend, revealed that Lucho had talked about me before. 

As for the movie role that I thought I could get, Darius called and tells me it is going to my ‘friend’ of sorts, Nora. Said it wasn’t his decision, came from the producer, over his head, and he was really sorry about it. When things go wrong, they really go wrong. 

Because the cartel came to collect and it wasn’t simoleons they were interested in. 

But it was Lucho who saved the day. He had previous run-ins with Lorenzo and offered a little more than what he was demanding and in return he simply wanted the man to leave me alone. It took some convincing, but, Lucho succeeded. 

I was mad at Lucho for ignoring me after our sudden intimate connection but I could only be thankful. He saved my life and I needed a shoulder to cry on. I don’t even want to imagine what Lorenzo had planned for me.

But my relationship with Lucho was improving. He came over the very next day and explained to me why he hadn’t called me. It wasn’t the best excuse, to be honest, as he said that the life of a pro-athlete has gotten to him. He thought I was like other women that try to latch on to him and so was reluctant I guess.

In the end, he knew I wasn’t like those other women because I work just as hard as he does. I don’t want to be his trophy wife like Steffi. I want to be a world famous actress and yes, that comes first before even romance. And so, I continued to work hard, doing commercials just to add to my resume and increase my fame. 

But I would run into a huge obstacle in my career. Mr. Frost. You see, Mr. Frost is a big time producer in this town and so he’s a man that wields a significant amount of power. Too much, I’d say. The point is when we first met he mentioned that the next time he sees me he’d like for me to dress down a little bit, you know. Wear a skirt, heels, that kind of thing…

I then find out that Nora knows Mr. Frost pretty well, perhaps too well. Maybe, perhaps, possibly…her relationship with him was the reason she had no issues finding roles. She claims he doesn’t go too far and claims that it’s not too bad. I, of course, don’t like this entire situation. 

A situation I did like was getting closer and closer to Lucho. On Love Day he took me out to an arcade for a humble date and while I wanted something more we both decided that it would be better to take it slow. Well, he wanted to more than me suddenly but it was a decision I agreed with.

Which was probably a good idea considering that Steffi wasn’t exactly ready to concede this battle. Lucho was still seeing her. 

Meanwhile, back in Selva, my brother was having relationship issues himself. Some woman named Maria nags at him constantly about the smallest of things and if you know my brother Paulo than you know he’s one that values his peace of mind more than anything. Ah, more on this relationship later.”

Things were looking up in my career as I was able to get a role, a small guest appearance. I played the mom of a main character in a sort of flashback scene. So yeah, it wasn’t much, a few minutes of TV time, but it was better than any commercial I’ve done. 

And I thought that maybe I’ve made it, that maybe my dreams were closer than they appeared…only to learn that this city wasn’t what it seemed. Mr. Frost wanted to see me again and this time he had a big offer. Playing a super heroine in the Marble Cinematic Universe. This is a big deal as those actors get paid tons and if my character connects with fans I could get my own movie in the future…but the role wasn’t mine. Mr. Frost needed one more thing of me to give it to me, she said…and what he wanted was for me to show him my breasts. I told him no and he kicked me out of the office and declared my career over.

And the immediate reaction to my unwillingness to expose myself? Denied roles with little explanation as to why. 

But there was at least happiness with Lucho. We took things a little slower, just a little, and we enjoyed the time we spent together. I was really warming up to the idea of having a serious relationship with Lucho. 

But the issue with Mr. Frost would not go away. I guess since I denied him it only made him desperate to wield his power on someone else and that someone else was Nora. This time, he asked the same of her, to take off her top and he’ll assure her a role in the Marble Cinematic Universe. He also asked for more, whatever that meant. He pushed a little too far with her and she left more than upset.

Back in Selva Paula, my mom, talked with my brother’s girlfriend. They seemed to like each other on the surface but mom sort of understood that maybe she wasn’t the one for her son. 

But Paulo is determined to make it work. He tells mom that things are okay, that a compromise between him and Maria has been reached, and that things are just peachy between them. 

As for my relationship with Lucho, it was going very very well!

[bae-in-maine]

Juliantina Fic & Drawing Collab: Mi Cariño: Chapter 1

It’s heeeeeeere! Chapter one is complete, all 8,000+ words. 

Huge thank you to @xlyre-art @xlyre who did the beautiful drawing. Go give her lots of praise and hugs ‘cuz she deserves it!

Title: Mi Cariño

Author: Jude81 aka Bae-in-Maine

Artist: Xlyre

Fandom: Juliantina, Amar a Muerte

Rating: Explicit

Chapter: 1 of 2, possible 3. 

Tags: Love, sex, first time, loss of virginity, fluff, cuteness abounds

This is also posted on A03  https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867207/chapters/42165767

**********************************

Mi Cariño

I’m ready.

It took Valentina a moment to understand what Juliana meant, and when she finally realized, her mind immediately went blank, wiped cleaned; like a well-oiled machine suddenly seizing and shutting down in the blink of an eye. It was only a millisecond, but it felt like forever, as if time yawned open before her, filled with too many possibilities. And then her mind sputtered, and the spark was lit.

Are you sure?

Valentina squeezed the phone in her hand, knuckles white as she waited for the little dots on her screen to transform into words.

Yes.

She could barely breathe, her fingers trembling slightly as she typed out one word.

When?

Tonight.

The word appeared instantly, no hesitation.

Valentina smiled, her mind immediately racing, full of possibilities that made her blush. Tonight was good. Tonight was perfect. Tonight was…terrifying. She gripped her phone tighter, reminding herself to breathe. In and out. Repeat. She looked around at the other students headed to class. She wondered if anyone could tell that she was texting her girlfriend, and if they understood what the blush staining her cheeks meant.

Girlfriend.

The word still sent tiny shivers down her spine to settle in her belly.

Two months. Two months since that quiet confession at the café, when they both realized they didn’t have to hide or deny their feelings anymore, at least not to themselves or each other. And those two months had been filled with laughter, whispers in the car, midnight texts, hands sliding against each other, and mouths slotted together perfectly.

And they’d talked about it. Unsure of the right words to use, blushes staining their cheeks more often than not, their voices shy and trembling sometimes; but still no less eager to try. And sometimes, hands had slipped under shirts, lips had followed the slender lines of a throat, only for slim shoulders to tense and hands tremble.

Juliana hadn’t been ready, and Valentina understood that. Sex was new to Juliana in ways that it wasn’t to Valentina. Valentina spent long hours googling women loving women, homosexuality, lesbian, the list only kept growing. And she’d been both dismayed and intrigued that many off her google searches had turned up porn.

She sighed and looked around again before looking back down at her phone. She still had two classes that afternoon, and she knew Juliana would probably come over as soon as she was done selling lottery tickets in the park. She had a couple of hours at least.

She chewed on the corner of her lip, her eyes straying back to her phone, the screen saver now on. She smiled at the picture of her and Juliana, cheeks pressed together, arms around each other. Her eyes traced the soft lines of Juliana’s face. Decision made, she grinned and sent one last message before thrusting her phone in her pocket and turned away from the tall, brick building where her final two classes were for the day.

Mi Cariño.

She made one stop on the way home, the sales lady had been more than helpful, but Valentina knew it probably wouldn’t occur to the lady that what she’d purchased wasn’t for a boyfriend but for a girlfriend. And Valentina had been struck with the sudden urge to tell the woman that the lingerie wasn’t for a man to enjoy but for two women, but she’d refrained, biting her tongue, stifling the desire to tell this woman and everyone else in her life how much she loved Juliana.

It had become harder and harder over the weeks to keep silent, but she’d quickly learned that leaving Eva in the dark was for the best. Her older sister had already expressed her distrust of Juliana, believing the younger woman was simply trying to extort money from Valentina. All of Valentina’s protests and explanations had fallen on deaf ears, and Eva had warned Valentina to end her friendship with Juliana, an order that Valentina blatantly disregarded.

Guille had been much more understanding, only happy that his sister was finally happy. Their father’s death had taken a toll on them both, and Guille credited Juliana with Valentina’s new happiness. He approved of Juliana, but he had moved out of their shared house, leaving Valentina to deal with Eva.

She stepped into her bedroom, dropping the small bag on her bed and sitting down at the foot of the bed. She rested her elbows on her knees, hands clasped, head down. She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, trying to calm the nerves rollicking in her belly. She rubbed her forehead, before digging her phone out of her pocket. Juliana would be arriving in an hour or two.

She hopped up, looking around her room to make sure nothing out of place or messy in any way, but of course nothing was; the maid ensured that. She rubbed her palms down over her thighs, trying to get rid of the sudden clammy feeling. She blew out a breath in irritation. She’d done this before. Sex was not new to her, except…she’d never had sex with Juliana. She realized her nervousness had less to do with the fact that Juliana was a woman, and more to do with the fact that she was simply…Juliana. Sex with Lucho and her boyfriend before him had been nice, nice and nothing more, and usually less than nice. Sex had been more something she had to do as opposed to what she wanted to do.

But Juliana was different, and more importantly how she felt about Juliana was different. She loved Juliana, when she hadn’t loved Lucho. Juliana was her cariño. And that changed everything.

She blew out another breath, pushing her hair back behind her ears, before deciding to take a shower. She stepped under the hot water, letting it pound against her face and drip down her chest and belly. It didn’t take long to finish lathering and washing, but she took extra time shaving her legs, dragging the razor slowly and cleanly up her leg and over her knee, up her thigh. She hesitated at the juncture of her thighs. She’d always kept the hair between her legs neatly trimmed, shaving the edges to create a wide strip. She fiddled with her razor wondering if she should shave all of it. Women were completely shaved in the porn videos she’d watched. But those were porn, and she blushed at the thought before sighing and putting the razor back on the small ledge in the shower.

She stepped out of the shower, toweling off and padding back into her bedroom. She stared at the bag on her bed, biting her lip, arms crossed, slightly unsure. She rubbed her arms, hating the way her stomach fluttered.

“Oh my god! Just put it on!” She muttered to herself, huffing in irritation as she grabbed the bag and pulled out the lingerie. It wasn’t particularly risqué, a matching pantie and bra set made entirely out of delicate black lace. The lace was softer than she had thought it would be, and she pulled the panties up her legs, settling them in place. The thong fit well, and she hoped that Juliana would like it. She pulled a robe around her and sat back down checking her phone again, before standing and pacing, until she finally settled in the window seat. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm the pounding of her heart, and slowly her breath evened out.

***************************

It was the light tapping at her door that woke her, and she almost fell as she stumbled to her feet, robe wrapped around her legs. She practically threw herself at the door, yanking it open so hard that Juliana stumbled back in shock.

“Hi! I’m sorry! I…I sort of dozed off….I…” she laughed and shook her head, a rosy hue painting her cheekbones as she reached out and grabbed Juliana’s hand, gently tugging her into her bedroom.

Juliana smiled and let herself be pulled into the bedroom, her mind immediately flashing back to the last time Valentina had pulled her into her bedroom after Guille’s birthday party, eagerness dripping from every hectic motion. But this time was different. This time nothing was between them, and she smiled, pushing forward and into Valentina’s arms.

She’d intended to kiss Valentina, let her hands cup Valentina’s face, trace her cheekbones with her thumbs; but instead she wrapped her arms around Valentina’s waist, pulling her tightly into her own body, her head finding its natural place on Valentina’s shoulder.

Valentina held her firmly, running her hands up and down her back. “Are you ok?”

When Juliana nodded but still didn’t raise her head, Valentina smiled and simply held her, widening her stance a little so she could bear more of Juliana’s weight. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You can say stop at any moment, and we will stop. No matter how far…” she hesitated, brow scrunched trying to find the right words, before deciding to go with what was the most simple. “No matter how far along we are.” It sounded weird to her own ears, but she was still trying to figure out the language between two women in love. It was different than with men, heavier, warmer. Filled with more longing, and she couldn’t always find the right words, the words that fit into her mouth and felt right when she released them.

Juliana pulled back, her hands coming up to cup Valentina’s face. “Sorry, I just wanted to hug you.” She shrugged a little, a small blush staining her skin.

Valentina laughed and pressed her forehead to Juliana’s. “You never have to apologize for hugging me or wanting to hug me.” She brushed a lock of hair behind Juliana’s ear, “I am here for all of your hugging needs.” She pressed her lips to Juliana’s, sighing into the kiss, when Juliana opened her mouth fitting against her own perfectly. It was soft and warm, and she wanted to cover herself with it, drown in it. But she reluctantly pulled away, but her lips betrayed her, finding Juliana’s once again.

Valentina finally pulled back just enough to whisper against her mouth, “I’m here for all of your needs.”

It felt bold, the words too large to hold, and they hung heavy between them, a declaration. She pressed her forehead against Juliana’s again, smiling when Juliana tilted her head up to kiss her.

“You know the same goes for you too, Val. This isn’t just about me.” Juliana pushed the hair off Valentina’s face, letting her fingers linger on her temples, before brushing them down her cheeks.

“I know. But I also know you’ve never done this before,” she stopped when Juliana blushed, and slid her hands around Juliana’s neck, smiling at the way her hair brushed against her knuckles. “There is nothing wrong with that, cariño. I just want to make sure you are entirely comfortable,” she chuckled and winked, “weeeell, maybe not too comfortable.”

Juliana laughed and nodded, the blush still gracing her skin. She looked down between them, the way their breasts and bellies were pressed against each other. She bit her lip, head down just enough that Val couldn’t see into her eyes.

“Baby?”

“Yes. Is that ok? Should I not call you that?”

Juliana shook her head, glad her hair was covering her cheeks, which she was sure were bright red now. “No, I like it. No one has ever called me that before.”

“Good. Because you are mine. Mi cariño. And I’m yours.”

“Mine,” murmured Juliana as pressed her face into the crook of Valentina’s neck. Over the last few months, it had quickly become her favorite place. It was warm and safe, and Valentina’s skin was slightly sweet against her mouth.

She reluctantly pulled away, stepped out of Valentina’s arms and walked around her to the window, slipping her black and gold jacket off and tossing it onto the window seat. It was Valentina’s favorite jacket on her, and she’d made sure to wear it, along with the blue shirt that Valentina had given a few weeks ago, just because. She played with the necklace around her neck, her fingers worrying the braided tuft of strings at the bottom of the necklace. Valentina had given it to her months ago, when they’d first met, and Juliana only ever took it off to shower, swim, or sleep.

“I watched some videos,” she blurted out, immediately wincing a little and biting her lips. “I mean, I wasn’t sure what is…uh…involved,” she finished lamely, wanting to roll her eyes at herself.

Valentina nodded and walked over to Juliana, stopping about a foot from her. She held out her hand, waiting until Juliana grasped it before gently pulling her to her. She walked backward and turned, until Juliana was standing against the bottom of the bed. She pushed gently, smiling when Juliana sat.

She cupped her face and leaned down and kissed her. “So did I. I did a lot of googling,” she chuckled as she sat down next to Juliana, taking her hand in her own.

Juliana nodded, interlacing her fingers with Valentina’s. “Um…a lot of the videos were…”

“Porn.”

Juliana laughed and blushed a little. “I don’t think they are particularly realistic. She wrinkled her nose a little. “There was almost always a man involved too, and even though the women were..uh…” she waved her hand in the air, “…I think it was still more about the man.”

Valentina nodded, “Yes. And I really doubt most women wear high heels while completely naked,” she laughed. “I never did,” she shook her head.

Juliana nodded, saying nothing for a moment, while looking down at their hands. “You once said that sex didn’t matter to you?”

Valentina nodded quietly, “that was before, I realized that I could actually love someone. I’ve never loved any man except for the men in my family.” She shrugged, running her thumb along Juliana’s fingers. “I didn’t realize I could feel this way about anyone, and the fact that it is you…”

“Me?” It wasn’t so much a question of Valentina’s feelings for her, but more a prompt to continue.

“Yes. You. I’m not really sure what it means, if I’m gay or not, and I don’t think it matters right now. But I know I love you, and I want to share this with you. The thought of doing so,” she hesitated again, licking her lips a little. She squeezed Juliana’s hand, leaning in and brushing her lips against Juliana’s ear, “is exciting.”

Juliana shivered slightly, jerking her head a little. She turned and looked at Valentina, swallowing hard, but not dropping her gaze. “I’m glad it’s you. I never wanted to before, but now I do, and uh…” she looked down at their hands again, chuckling a little, “yeah…just really glad it is you, because I love you.”

Valentina smiled, reaching over and sliding her hand behind Juliana’s neck and tugging her softly towards her, “I’m glad it’s me to.” She pressed her lips to Juliana’s, her eyes fluttering closed at the feel of their mouths moving against she other. It wasn’t long before, she felt Juliana’s tongue pressing against her lips, and she opened them enough to let her slip inside. She hummed against her mouth, turning her body more fully, so she could cup Juliana’s face with both hands.

She brushed her tongue against Juliana’s, smiling into the kiss at the way Juliana instinctively curled her tongue around her own, and she wanted more. She pressed a little harder into Juliana, drinking in every part of her, so lost in the kiss, it took her a moment to realize that Juliana’s hands were on the belt holding her robe together, and then suddenly her robe was open.

She shivered slightly at the sudden feel of the cooler air, and she could feel Juliana’s hands still. “It’s ok, keep going,” she encouraged, pressing lightly kisses against Juliana’s mouth, sucking on her lower lip.

Juliana could barely breath, convinced it was because Valentina had so lovingly plundered her mouth and robbed her of all the air from her lungs, and her head swam, her vision a little blurry when she opened her yes in an effort to see what was beneath the robe her hands were tugging on.

“Stand.” She meant to ask, but it came out more as a command, but it seemed to work considering Valentina hissed an affirmative under her breath.

She leaned back on her hands, her mind fuzzy, and she blinked almost blearily up at Valentina who was now standing sliding the robe the rest of the way off. She felt her lungs seize when Valentina tossed the robe away, and she could feel the burn along her neck and cheeks as she started at the small, lace bra and panty set that Valentina was wearing. It was simply but beautiful, and she had to remind herself to breathe.

“Do you like it? I bought it today, for you.” Valentina suddenly wished she had the robe, so she could twist her fingers in the belt, but instead she wrung her fingers together, trying to stop the nervous trembling. The air in the room was cold on her skin, making it prickle, but she was sure it had more to do with nerves than actual temperature.

“Wow…I…my god, you are so beautiful,” muttered Juliana, suddenly wondering how she would compare. Not that it was a competition, but she felt more gangly and awkward in Valentina’s presence sometimes.

“Not nearly as beautiful as you,” murmured Valentina as she leaned down, placing her hands on Juliana’s thighs, smiling at the way Juliana’s eyes immediately strayed to her cleavage. “Not nearly as beautiful as you, cariño.” She kissed her and stood up slowly turning around, “You haven’t seen all of it.”

She heard Juliana gasp behind her, and she smiled, the smile only growing bigger when she suddenly felt warm fingers trace down alongside the thin strip of fabric between her cheeks. “I thought you might like this.”

It took Juliana a moment to respond, too mesmerized by the pale, smooth flesh in front of her. She let her fingers dance over the skin lightly before pulling them back into her lap. “Yes…it’s…um…” she coughed a little, “yes…I like it.”

“Good.” Valentina turned back around, smirking a little at the heat in Juliana’s flushed skin. She leaned down again her hands finding the hem of Juliana’s shirt, “Can I?”

Juliana nodded and raised her arms, letting Valentina pull off the shirt and toss it on the window seat. She let her hands rest around Juliana’s waist before pushing lightly, jerking her chin towards the top of the bed.

Juliana nodded and quickly scooted back up on the bed, stopping only when Valentina’s hands grasped her feet. The other girl quickly undid her shoes tossing them to the floor with her socks, before climbing onto the bed after her.

Valentina sat on her knees, motioning Juliana to scoot towards her so she could wrap her arms around her waist. She kissed her, letting her lips trail along her jawline, her fingers mapping the soft muscles of her back that twitched under her touch.

“I love you, you are so beautiful.” Her fingers caught against the back of Juliana’s bra, and she plucked at it lightly, so Juliana would know what she wanted. She looked down at Juliana, lifting her eyebrows, and when Juliana nodded, she quickly unfastened it, glad she managed not to fumble it.

Juliana shivered and scooted closer to Valentina, the skin on her back feeling especially sensitive. She ran her hands up Valentina’s arms, enjoying the way the skin prickled against her palms, until she could wrap her arms around her shoulder. She pressed her lips against Valentina’s pulse, feeling it flutter against her tongue. She sucked lightly, her nerves growing slightly at the way Valentina groaned and pulled her closer. It was almost too much, overwhelming, skin against skin, and she wondered if she would survive the rest of it without passing out.

“You ok, cariño?”

Juliana nodded, not saying anything, but she cocked her head to the side, when she felt Valentina’s mouth against the tender skin there. She sighed and closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of Valentina’s tongue pressing hard into the muscle of her neck, her teeth nipping lightly and then sucking gently. It was wet and hot, and it felt better than the few times she’d allowed a boy to do that much. It had always been sloppy and mess then, and she’d felt like she’d been slobbered on. But this, she could feel her muscles react under Valentina’s mouth, and grow heavy and warm, and she shuddered.

She imagined Valentina’s tongue in other places, and she felt the nerves in her belly shoot up into her chest, and she dug her fingers into Valentina’s shoulders. “I-um…”

Valentina stopped and pulled back so she could see Juliana’s face. “Are you ok? We can stop. We don’t have to…I mean…are you uncomfortable?”

“No,” Juliana shook her head. “It’s a bit overwhelming…” and she hurriedly continued when she saw Valentina frown in sudden worry, “it’s good. It feels good. I like it,” she assured her, rubbing little circles into Valentina’s shoulders with her fingers.

“It’s just um…I was w-wondering if we are going to…uh…” she was blushing again, stuttering a little, and she hated it. She growled under her breath and blew out a gust of air in irritation.

“It’s ok, baby. There’s no rush. Take your time.”

Juliana nodded and rested her forehead against Valentina’s shoulder for a moment before continuing. “Are we going to do that?”

“Uh…do what?” Valentina pushed a strand of hair away from Juliana’s face, concerned at the way Juliana wouldn’t quite meet her eyes.

“Jules?”

“Are we going to do everything in the videos with our mouths?” She practically spit out the words, cursing herself for sounding like a child. She felt awkward and vulnerable, everything a little off kilter.

“Oh, you mean…oral sex? Go down on each other,” Valentina slipped two fingers under Juliana’s chin. “Cariño, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but I would very much like to taste you, if that is ok with you?”

Juliana felt her face flame, and she nodded. “Yes. Uh…I want to do that with you. Um…to you?” She chuckled weakly, the laugh quickly dying when Valentina pressed her mouth to her own. She quickly forgot what she was worrying about and simply enjoyed the wet heat of Valentina’s mouth.

Valentina leaned forward, rising up on her hands and knees and gently pushed Juliana down, so her back was flat on the bed. “You can change your mind, just so you know. Nothing is set in stone, ok?”

When Juliana nodded, she laid down beside her, propping her head up in her hand. She placed her hand on Juliana’s belly, letting her fingers trace along the ribs. She took Juliana’s hand, intertwining their fingers so the back of Juliana’s hand fit perfectly into her palms. She dragged their fingers up between Juliana’s breasts, unable to tear her eyes away from Juliana’s breasts.

They were bigger than her own, a darker shade, capped with dark pink, almost rosy called nipples. She wanted to press her tongue against them but settled instead for dragging their hands over Juliana’s nipples. She grinned at the way Juliana stiffened and then sighed, her body melting back into the bed.

She released Juliana’s hand to cup her cheek, turning her face towards her own. She kissed the corner of her mouth, lightly stroking her cheek, letting her fingers trail down the soft skin of her neck, along her collarbone to finally rest at the top of her breast.

“Is this ok?”

When Juliana nodded, she kissed her again, pressing her tongue into her mouth, drowning in the taste of her. Her fingers lightly skimmed around Juliana’s breast, learning the shape and curve of it. Her fingers trailed across the soft nipple, slowly hardening under the soft swirls of her touch.

She shifted closer, “and this?” She pressed a kiss to Juliana’s breast, letting her tongue press briefly against the flesh.

“Yes,” muttered Juliana as she watched Juliana dip her head and trace the curve of her breast with her tongue. She didn’t even realize she was holding her breath, until she felt the burning in her lungs, and she let it out in a whoosh, making Valentina look up, concern in her eyes.

“It’s ok…just a little uh…nerves,” she muttered, bringing her hand up to rest on Valentina’s head for a minute. “It feels good.”

“It does feel good,” murmured Valentina, dropping a kiss on the nipple, before sliding her tongue across it, her other hand playing with Juliana’s other breast, gently teasing the nipple out into the open. She closed her mouth around Juliana’s nipple, rolling it with her tongue, letting her teeth scrape gently across it. She pulled back, and it glistened in the light. It was harder now, just starting to plump up, and she dragged her tongue across it, humming while she closed her mouth around it, enjoying the feel of the nipple swelling in her mouth. She sucked lightly, flicking her tongue back and forth over the nipple, pleased when it hardened even more into a tight bud. She licked it, and played gently with it, occasionally dragging her teeth over the pebbled flesh. She was surprised at how sensitive Juliana’s breasts and nipples were. Her own breasts had never been particularly sensitive, and despite how much men had leered at them, when she actually had sex with Lucho, he’d been too hurried to bother to pay much attention to them, other than to grab and squeeze. Or perhaps it was just the wrong person had been touching her, and what her body had always craved, without realizing it, was Juliana.

She hummed around the nipple in her mouth, letting it go and blowing air across it, smiling at the way Juliana shuddered and bit her lip.

“Cold, cariño?” She blew across the tight bud again, smirking at the way Juliana simply nodded, mouth open slightly, apparently unable to speak her agreement. She leaned down and swirled her tongue across the nipple, blowing on it again, and she was rewarded by Juliana’s hand tightening in her hair, and the other hand scrabbling for purchase on her shoulder pulling Valentina tightly to her breast. Valentina switched her attention to the other nipple, playing with it, suckling for a brief moment.

But she could feel more than see the way Juliana rocked her hips lightly, and she smoothed her hand over the fabric of Juliana’s pants. She slipped her hand down between her thighs, smirking when Juliana opened them without any further encouragement. She cupped Juliana’s heat, pressing lightly against the jean fabric. She could just feel a hint of moisture seeping through the girl’s pants, and she let go of the Juliana’s nipple, placing a lingering kiss on the wet bud and looked up into dark, wide eyes. She smiled and leaned in, pressing her open mouth lightly against the corner of Juliana’s lips. “You’re wet,” she murmured.

She felt the Juliana’s cheeks heat up, and she pulled back to smile at her, but hesitated when she realized that Juliana wouldn’t quite meet her eyes. Instead, the younger girl nervously chewed on her lower lip, clearly embarrassed, eyes shifting away from Valentina’s. Valentina flicked her tongue out, smoothing over the lower lip the girl was worrying. She sucked it gently between her lips and pressed gently against her sex. She pulled back and shifted so she could rest her forehead against Juliana’s, “It’s perfect. You’re perfect, and it’s natural.”

She dropped kisses along Juliana’s nose and cheeks, finally drawing a relieved giggle from her. “I’m glad you’re wet. For me. Because of me.”

She kissed Juliana, letting her tongue press against her lips, until Juliana opened her mouth. Valentina groaned at the way Juliana tangled her tongue with her own, sucking on it briefly. Valentina could feel the wetness growing between her legs, and she squeezed her legs tightly for a moment trying to ignore how good it felt. She pulled away, balancing herself on one arm, hand brushing the hair out of Juliana’s face.

“It’s ok. It’s a good thing you’re wet, but we don’t have to. We can stop here if you want, cariño.”

“N-no. No, I want to. I’m just a little nervous.” Juliana blushed, dropping her eyes. She huffed a little in irritation. “I’m sorry I’m so nervous. I’m not usually this nervous about anything,” she muttered. She pressed her fingers against Valentina’s belly, smiling a little at the way Valentina shivered under her touch.

“It’s ok to be nervous. I’m nervous.” Val wrinkled her nose at Juliana and stuck out her tongue, hoping to illicit a laugh from Juliana.

Juliana rolled her eyes. “Uh huh. Sure you’re nervous,” but she laughed at the way Val wrinkled her nose, her chest warming at the sight of light brown eyes glinting with laughter looking down at her. She pressed her mouth hard against Valentina’s, relishing the way Valentina suddenly seemed to sink into her, letting her weight drop onto Juliana.

Valentina kissed Juliana softly, cupping her sex and squeezing lightly, then dragging her fingertips up and over her covered mound until her fingertips rested against the button of her jeans.

“Can I?”

Valentina felt the breathy yes against her neck, where Juliana had hidden her burning face. Valentina felt her chest swell and ache with love for this woman, and her eyes prickled with tears as her fingers quickly undid the button on the jeans, and she slowly drew them down Juliana’s hips.  

“Lift,” she whispered, and Juliana raised her hips slightly so she could continue to pull the pants down past her hips and thighs. She shifted and sat up, noticing that Juliana immediately threw an arm across her eyes. She stopped what she was doing and leaned forward on her knees, arms bracketing Juliana’s rib cage.

“Hey. Are you ok?”

Juliana nodded, blowing out a breath and dropped her arm. She laughed, the sound catching in her throat. “Sorry, just no one has ever seen me naked.” Juliana plucked at the bedspread with one hand, the other hand pressed tightly against her belly. “It is a little overwhelming.”

Valentina kissed her gently, murmuring against her lips. “Remember, we can stop at any time, cariño. But you should know…” she pulled back so she could look Juliana in the eyes. “You are beautiful, so very beautiful; and I love you. All of you.” She pressed a light kiss to Juliana’s lips, smiling at the way the other girl smiled. “I love every inch of you, your hair, your eyes, your shoulders, your belly, your toes.”

“My toes?” laughed Juliana, the hard tightness in her chest easing at Valentina’s words.

“Of course, your toes.” Valentina pressed her mouth against Juliana’s again, “every single millimeter of you. The entire sum of you,” she whispered.

Juliana felt the breath catch in her throat and tears burn her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered sliding her palms up Valentina’s slender arms and across her shoulders to intertwine them behind Valentina’s neck. She leveraged herself up and planted a hard kiss on Valentina’s lips, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, her fingers finding the catch on Valentina’s bra.

Valentina smiled when Juliana let herself go, her body thumping lightly back on the mattress. She felt her bra fall away down her arms, and she chuckled at Juliana’s pleased look.

“Pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you?” She teased, tossing the bra aside and laughing when Juliana nodded and grinned at her.

“It was pretty smooth,” laughed Juliana, congratulating herself.

“I love it when you laugh. I think it is my favorite sound in the whole world,” whispered Valentina pressing herself down against Juliana for a moment, their breasts pushed together. It was warm and sent little tingles down her spine, and she reluctantly pulled away, sitting back on her heels, curling her fingers around the pants and pulling them down to Juliana’s knees. She couldn’t resist; she palmed Juliana’s thighs, squeezing lightly and then dragging her fingers down the smooth skin. “Beautiful.”

She shook herself out of her reverie and tugged the pants down a little harder, tossing them behind her, not caring where they landed. She gently maneuvered Juliana’s limbs so that she was kneeling between her legs.

She traced the curve of Juliana’s panties, pressing her palm firmly against her lower abdomen, letting Juliana feel the warmth of her hand. “Can I take these off too?” She held her breath, her hand hovering just over the waist band of her panties. She was half afraid Juliana would say no, and half afraid she would say yes. She licked her lips, praying her nerves wouldn’t betray her with her skin flushing.

“Yes.”

It was one word, soft, hanging in the air between them, and it was enough to cause Juliana’s shoulders to sag slightly in relief. “Ok,” she murmured, “ok.” She carefully pulled them down Juliana’s long legs, her mouth drying out even more, her heart pounding in her ears, the blood rushing so quickly, she almost felt light-headed. She took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. She set the panties aside, her hand trembling just enough to surprise her.

“Are you ok?”

Val jerked her shoulders in surprise, not expecting the question. She leaned forward, placing a hand on either side of Juliana’s shoulders. She kissed her chin. “Yes. Sorry, just a little nervous too. I told you,” she laughed, a blush stealing across her cheeks.

“Ok. I believe you.” Juliana grinned, the smile stretching her face wide. “And I’m glad you’re a little nervous. I mean I know you told me you were, but you seemed like you know exactly what you are doing.”

Val stuck her tongue out a little, wrinkling her nose at Juliana, “Well…I did watch a lot of porn. So obviously I’m an expert,” she tossed her hair back and rolled her eyes, laugher dripping from each word.

Juliana laughed, relief making her almost giddy. As much as she was glad that Valentina had more experience than she did, even if it was with men and not women, it was also a relief that Valentina really was nervous also.

“Well, my little expert…” Juliana wrapped her arms around Valentina’s neck, “why don’t you show me what makes you such an expert.”

Val chuckled and nodded her head, nuzzling her nose and face against the warmth of Juliana’s neck, whispering soft kisses against the other girl’s skin. She pushed her knees out from under her, so she was laying between Juliana’s legs, and it only took a small amount of pressure for Juliana to bend her legs and bring them up slightly, so Valentina could fit in the cradle of her thighs.

Juliana whimpered lightly as Valentina’s weight settled between her thighs, and the soft weight of Valentina’s panties pushed into her wet folds, causing a delicious friction. She pushed her hips up into Valentina and glared at Valentina when she didn’t push back against Juliana.

“Val,” she whined as she pushed again, her earlier embarrassment almost entirely forgotten. Valentina chuckled and finally ground down lightly, beaming when Juliana’s eyes glazed over slightly. She dropped little kisses along Juliana’s flushed neck, letting her tongue skate along the curve of her collarbone. She sucked the skin, letting her teeth scrape along it, worrying it lightly, for a long moment, until a small lilac blossom burst along Juliana’s collarbone. She wiggled lower, sucking and nipping at Juliana’s breasts, enjoying the feel of the girl squirming against her. She licked and nibbled her way down the soft belly, her hands running up and down the girl’s sides, her fingers tracing the lattice of her ribs.

She sat back on her knees again, and reached down, tugging Juliana’s legs up more, bending them at the knee and then pushing out lightly, opening Juliana up to her gaze. She felt her mouth drop open slightly, and her tongue felt thick in her mouth. She was beautiful. She carefully ran one finger through the short, trimmed hairs, smiling a little at how they tickled her fingertips. She played with the short hairs tugging on them just enough to make Juliana raise her hips.

“Want something?” she teased, leaning down and kissing her mound, shivering at the way the hairs tickled her lips. She was quickly distracted by the glistening gloss around Juliana’s lower lips. She licked her lips, scooching lower so she could see better.

Juliana squirmed under Valentina’s heated gaze, unsure how she felt about the intensity with which Valentina gazed at her sex.  She bit her lip again, worried that maybe Valentina didn’t like what she saw. But as she stared at her, she saw Valentina’s tongue flick out again, licking her lips. She felt the muscles in her legs shake slightly as Valentina ran her fingers up and down the insides of her legs. She felt herself grow wetter under Valentina’s hot gaze, and she watched as Valentina’s eyes widen briefly and a smile tug at her lips.

Valentina let out a satisfied sigh when she noticed that Juliana was growing wetter under her gaze. She smiled and let her fingers continue to soothe little circles against the inside of her thighs. She danced her fingertips through the short hairs, until she could no longer resist and dipped her head to run her tongue up the short hairs.

Juliana jerked under her hands, whimpering in surprise. She had known what Valentina was going to do, but it had still taken her by surprise, and she jerked her legs, her muscles tightening. She reached down, her fingers settling against Valentina’s face. She pressed her fingers against Valentina’s cheek, suddenly unsure, the nerves re-appearing instantly.

“I-I…” She struggled to find the words, but nothing seemed right, and she wasn’t sure why she had stopped Valentina.

Valentina froze, looking up into Juliana’s nice, immediately seeing the shadows in her beautiful dark eyes. “What is it?” She turned her head and pressed a kiss to Juliana’s palm. “We can stop.”

“No. No. I just…I’m sorry, I was suddenly nervous. I mean…what if I…” Juliana wrinkled her nose and blew out a breath of air, rolling her eyes towards the ceiling. She could feel the heat staining her cheeks, and she gripped the bedsheet with one hand, her other hand cupping Valentina’s cheek. “What if I taste bad?” She barely whispered the last word.

Val pulled herself up a little, crossing her arms over Juliana’s hips and resting her chin on them. “I love you. All of you, Jules. And you taste good,” she grinned and moved her arms, pressing soft kisses to her lower abdomen. “Trust me?”

Juliana nodded releasing her grip on the bedsheet and moving her palm up to the top of Val’s head just letting it rest there. “Yes. I do.”  

Val kissed her belly again and lowered her head, breathing deeply, inhaling the Juliana’s scent. It filled her nose and lay soft on her tongue, slightly musky, even earthy, like fresh soil in a new garden. She clicked her teeth together, then dragged her tongue along the bottoms of her front teeth. She scraped her tongue repeatedly, her chest heaving as she tried to etch the scent forever in her mind.  She grunted and pushed down, letting her knees go out from under her fully. She lay between Juliana’s legs, gratified when Juliana lifted one leg around her back, drawing her closer.

Valentina blew across the slightly damp curls and then leaned down, tracing the short hairs with her tongue. She flattened her tongue against Juliana, before she dipped her head down and filled her mouth with Juliana.

She simply held her briefly in her mouth then pulled back and slid her thumbs up the inside of her folds, pulling them apart gently so she could look at the glistening flesh in front of her. She blew lightly across Juliana’s inner folds, slightly enamored with the way that her flesh clenched and shivered. Her sex was a deep blushing pink, glistening with silky gloss. Her inner lips were like soft petals, and Valentina purred deep in her chest when she slid her tongue along the folds. She sucked them in between her lips, running her tongue along the furled edges.

Juliana tightened against Valentina’s mouth, groaning softly at the feel of the heat of her mouth against her wet sex. She felt the heat in her belly expand and fill her muscles as they strained for more. Her toes curled slightly, and she felt tingles rushing along her skin. She widened her legs further to give Valentina more room, despite the growing urge to simply trap Valentina’s face between her thighs. She tried to steady her trembling muscles, breathing deeply and exhaling in a harsh rush, but she couldn’t focus long enough to regain control of her body, as she felt Valentina’s tongue insistently push between her folds, tracing her moist flesh.

None of the few videos Juliana had watched prepared her for the feel of Valentina’s tongue against her. She hadn’t known what to expect really, hadn’t realized how sensitive she would be. She imagined it would feel nice, possibly like a wet massage, but the way Valentina slid her tongue up and down her sex made her pant, the teasing pressure just enough to heighten her breath, make her skin flush, and make her skin tingle, but not enough to give her more. The “more” being an unknown shadow that sat at the edge of her vision.

Valentina flattened her tongue and licked up the center of Juliana’s sex, letting the tip of her tongue rest on the underside of Juliana’s clit. She gently traced the little nodule with her tongue, simply letting her get used to the weight of her tongue. She circled around her clit, then flicked her tongue across the tip of it. She coaxed it gently from its hood, and when she felt it begin to swell a little, she pressed her tongue firmly against it. She ground her tongue against Juliana’s clit, hoping it was the right thing to do.

The videos had been less than forthcoming on how to make a woman actually cum, and she knew most of not all the orgasms were fake, but they had still given her a few ideas. She gently blew across Juliana’s clit, smiling at the way the flesh twitched lightly.

Juliana groaned, her fingers digging into the back of Valentina’s neck, where she still cupped her head. She felt the heat coil harshly in her belly, making her muscles strain and tighten. She arched into Valentina’s mouth, and she could feel the air hit the dampness that had gathered at her lower back. She was flushed and sweating against the sheets, twisting her body searching for something more that sat on the edges of her senses. She whimpered in frustration when she felt Valentina’s tongue relax and let go of her clit, but she groaned when she felt the wet muscle trace her opening. Her swollen, inner muscles instinctively tried to grab the tip of Valentina’s tongue and pull her in, but Valentina resisted, pulling back and continuing to trace around her opening, gathering the wetness along her tongue only to smear it messily against her clit.

Valentina panted hard against Juliana’s swollen sex. Her head stung from where Juliana had dug her fingers in, and her face was wet from Juliana’s glistening sex. Her taste lay heavy on her tongue, and she scraped her teeth against her tongue, not wanting to miss anything. She wrapped her lips around Juliana’s clit, sucking lightly, her hands pushing down against Valentina while she jerked her hips. She was rewarded with Juliana garbling her name, and her thighs closing around her head.

Valentina reached up and pulled Juliana’s thighs open so she could breathe. She rolled her tongue, fitting the opening against Juliana’s clit, and let it slide in. She shivered at the feel, and she flexed her tongue around the pulsating nodule. She massaged it and bopped her head again, feeling it harden and swell.

Juliana closed her eyes tightly, seeing shapes and colored shadows flickering and fading. She could feel the swelling in her clit, and she was sure it would burst. She had never felt this before, certainly not the few times she had explored her own body, never quite daring to touch herself too much; mostly afraid her mother would burst in on her.

But this, this…this…thing…this wave that was creeping up on her, threatening to steal her breath and wipe her mind clean was just out of reach, sitting blurry and sharp on the edges of her nerves. She wanted to grasp it and pull it towards her, inside of her and feel it explode and shimmer or burn.  She whimpered and groaned, her hands clenching in the bedsheets, her legs jerking as she pushed back against Valentina’s tongue. And with one last insistent tug on her clit, Juliana felt the cold burn sweep up through her straining muscles, and her mouth fell open, and Valentina’s name tumbled past her lips, straining and brutal.

Her chest heaved and her sex clenched, her body jerking without her permission. She was the marionette, and Valentina pulled each string perfectly with every stroke of her tongue. Her chest burned, and she groaned pushing against Valentina’s face when she felt the brunette’s hot mouth close sharply around her clit and suck hard. She bucked up her hips, instinctively trying to dislodge Valentina from her over-sensitized clit, and yet her hands grabbed Valentina’s head and held her tight against her sex. She felt the burning in her toes, and this time it itched its way up her legs and buried itself in her belly. The sharp lancing heat in her belly made her want to scream but she didn’t, as the tendrils of heat seeped through her fatigued muscles, and she shook in Valentina’s arms, whimpering and begging.

“V-Val, I…please,” she whimpered, hips twisting in the beddings, one hand anchoring herself in the bedsheets, the other buried in Val’s hair. “I can’t,” she whimpered, her body straining against itself. “Don’t stop,” she begged in the next breath, as her second orgasm pulsed along her shredded nerves.

Valentina wanted to answer her, but her mouth was too occupied, and she couldn’t tear herself away from the straining clit against her tongue, Juliana’s hot sex too tempting to leave. Instead she raised her hand and rubbed soft circles on Juliana’s lower belly, while suckling the straining bundle of nerves, milking Juliana’s second orgasm from her, determined to carry her through it. She felt the hot moisture bathe her chin, and she groaned around Juliana’s clit, as Juliana pumped her hips against her mouth. She had resisted when Juliana pushed against her face, knowing Juliana wasn’t done yet. But once she shook and shuddered against her, and she felt her legs collapse, she pulled back from the swollen, red clit and smiled.

Valentina licked her lips, enjoying the sticky cum painting her lips. She blew on Juliana’s clit and smirked as Juliana jerked. She tenderly kissed the overused nodule, just barely resisting swirling her tongue around it again. She felt hands in her hair tugging at her, clearly commanding her to crawl up her body, and she was eager to comply.

“I-I…” Juliana blew a breath out, her muscles heavy and warm. Her limbs were splayed across the sheets, her chest heaving, sweat glistening between the valley of her breasts, on her belly, legs. She raised her arms, welcoming Valentina into her arms, sighing in relief at the weight of the other girl settling partially on top of her.

“That was…I just…thank you.” She muttered, heat staining her already flushed cheeks. She blushed harder when Valentina laughed, and she pushed her face into the warm crook of Valentina’s neck.

Valentina laughed, sliding one arm under Juliana’s neck, cupping her face with the other arm. “No, mi Cariño, thank you.” She waited for Juliana to pull her face from her neck and look at her. She tenderly brushed her fingers against her cheek. “You are so beautiful, so perfect. I love you.” She kissed Juliana, pulling back just enough to wink at her and say, “and you tasted amazing.”

Juliana squealed and blushed, lightly slapping Valentina’s arm, before burying her face in the crook of her neck again. She shivered and breathed in the smell of her warm skin. Valentina still vaguely smelled of her body wash, blue pomegranate and jasmine. But Juliana could also detect the warm sheen of perspiration, and she pressed her tongue against her neck, enjoying the way, Valentina jumped under her tongue. She sucked on the skin, her arm sliding up and around Valentina’s waist, tipping the older girl onto her back.

“I want to…” a yawn broke through her words before she could finish them, and she shivered lightly, her skin cooling in the air, the sun having moved on and no longer shining through the window.

Valentina chuckled and pulled Juliana down onto herself, her other arm straining as she reached down, fingers scraping the edge of a blanket. It took a little bit of huffing and maneuvering, but she was finally able to draw it up and settle it around them. “Shhhhh, mi Cariño. Sleep. I’ve got you.” She kissed Juliana’s forehead, smiling at the way the other girl’s face was already relaxing into sleep.

[booasaur]

What are your predictions about what’s going to happen with Juliantina in these next few episodes?

I get these wrong every time, partly because I always make the error of--for once--undervaluing a f/f ship in a way the writers do not. I always think, okay, now they’re going to go on the backburner as the real plot takes over. Val and Lucia have been taken hostage, this is time for the Carvajals to handle this, no way Juls will play a part. And then she shows up, running through bullets. Okay, they’ve broken up, now the dads and Lucia plots will take over while they stay separate. But no, they investigate together. Even so much of Juls’s kidnapping was about Val.

BUT. This really is the time for a lot of other plot to happen. There are 10 episodes left. The Alacran-Eva-Mateo plot has to be handled, everyone else has to find out, Lucia-Johnny, everyone else has to find out, Jacobo being Leon, and...everyone else has to find out. They’ve even split up Renata and Guille so they can presumably get back together in a big moment at the end?

Going by TV logic that they don’t just move past this in tonight’s ep so it can be drawn out more, I would say they have an inTENSE conversation today. During which Juls might bring up Beltran being Chino? I don’t know which way it’ll go, for real, Val being angry and this time the result being the opposite of the Jacobo confrontation? Or she could be like, okay, I understand but I’m hurt and disappointed and maybe we shouldn’t be together/stay on a break, like you keep saying. But then as everything piles on in the next episodes, Lucho’s aftermath and Lucia and Leon and Eva/Mateo, Val will just want some comfort?

And another anon:

I know as a fandom we have a zero percent accuracy rating at guessing what's happening next, but do you think they're gonna make Juliantina actually hash out everything that happened w asshole sergio? I haven't decided if Val will be instantly forgiving Bc she's that gone, or if she's gonna feel betrayed & ask what Juls would've done if she ~had~ enjoyed sleeping w a man. Or if Juls is gonna rake herself over the coals &not accept Val's easy forgiveness. So many possibilities & they all hurt lol

All good options, and so many more. Imagine if they got interrupted, lol. 

I mean, there’s being wrong because we underestimated (or once, overestimated >_>) the writers and then there’s thinking that this couple, or any couple, will be happy in the lead up to the finale. I would think it’s a mix of Juls being bad at explaining it (is Val never going to know she’d left Lupe??) and Val just feeling so hurt at it all. 

Whatever it is, I don’t think it’ll be something that makes either of them look too bad, since the point of this will be again the circumstances being the enemy, and I do think that it’ll be something that will be resolved before any time skip.

[blaugr4na]

#BartomeuDimiteHoy: MASTER LIST

The best Barcelona in history - the Barcelona that became a reference for world football and became the only club to have ever won a sextuple - was under Joan Laporta and his model which emphasized Cruyff, La Masia, Catalunya, and UNICEF. Since Laporta was replaced on July 1st, 2010, this model has continuously decayed and as the campaign for the vital VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE approaches, I thought I would make an updated "master list” of some of evident damage happening within our club since Sandro Rosell and Josep Maria Bartomeu have taken over. 

Disrespectful/Mishandled Departures

Johan Cruyff

Stripped of his honorary presidency and pushed away from the club

Cruyff confirmed in an interview with RAC1 that him/Rosell only spoke to him once (which was when they took his title as honorary president away) and that him/Bartomeu never spoke.

Bartomeu himself, in 2008: “We need to say no to Cruyff. Voting yes to the motion of censure [against Laporta] is to vote no for Cruyffism at Barça.”

Pep Guardiola

Left him alone to defend himself and our club against Mourinho and the lies published by Madrid based media due to the board’s eagerness to avoid the media

Ex: the allegations that our players were doping/working with doctors of “questionable reputations” (which we ended up letting go for only €200,000), the allegations that we accepted refereeing favors, etc.

Was blamed by the board for Zlatan’s signing in front of the socis while Rosell called it the “worst deal in the history of the club” even though Pep wasn’t the only person responsible for it

After all of this and more, they claimed to the fans that they did “everything in their power” to make Pep stay after he decided to step away

Even after he left, Rosell said “Everything [Pep] says is false. There is no argument or evidence for his claims about us. I put it down to someone poisoning Pep’s mind, but he allowed himself to be poisoned.” after Pep went public with the fact that they crossed the line with him and weren’t keeping their word of promising to leave him in peace after leaving

Eric Abidal

Forced out of the club in tears while lies were being told both to him and about him

Bartomeu, 2012: “Abidal’s contract is ready, and when he plays his first match, we’ll sign it”. He returned to play. They never renewed him.

Lied to the public claiming medical departments concluded that he wouldn’t be able to continue as a player. Abidal went on to continue playing for the French NT and played over 30 matches for Monaco.

Dani Alves

Let go for free

Publicly confirmed that during his final years, he would always hear 'Alves was leaving,' but the directors never said anything to his face (to confirm the rumours or support/reassure him of his place in the club)

These were, apparently, among many leaks to the media which came directly from the board, who were trying to demonize him in the media, which is believed to go back to Dani’s personal problems with the board related to, among other things, their treatment of Eric Abidal

Has since been one of the most outspoken about how much he was disrespected, and in general how much this board doesn’t respect their players

Thiago Alcantara

Destined/developed to be Xavi’s eventual replacement. 

Forced to play the minimum amount of matches in his last season to keep his buyout clause at 18m instead of it going up to €90m (to ensure a sale as Neymar’s transfer approached). 

Sold for €20m

Xavi

Was almost certainly leaving for NYCFC back in 2014.

Lucho and Zubi convinced him into staying another year because he knew the team needed him to

Still failed to sign a proper replacement after he left

David Villa

Bought for €40m, sold to direct league rivals for €5m

Txema Corbella

Was our beloved kit man for 32 years. Has shared our dressing room with players from Maradona to Messi. 

Described by Victor Valdes as “someone who is like a father to me and has always protected us”

Was also the last person who tried to convince Valdes to stay, telling him “You'll never be better off than you are here” in tears

After returning from his vacation in 2014, was fired by the board without warning, given no reason other than “he wasn’t necessary”.

Willful neglect of La Masia

Eusebio

Was kept and continued to renew his contract despite his disregard for actual player development because he was close with the board and his results with FCBB were “enough” for them until they were relegated to Segunda B.

Oscar Garcia

Lead Juvenil A to 3/3 titles with only 3 defeats in 50 matches in his first season as coach and was chosen to replace Lucho at Barça B, but the board ended up signing Eusebio instead. Oscar stayed with the club despite this. 

During his second season as Juvenil A coach, Eusebio would frequently call up Oscar’s top players to Barça B and not even use them. One of the most significant cases was when Oscar’s team lost the Liga on the last match of the season. Eusebio had called up Dongou for Barça B’s match and never even used him. The team suffered all year and Oscar unfairly took the blame from the press, but stayed with the club as Zubi promised him the Barça B coaching position claiming that Eusebio would be leaving Barça B. 

A month later, they renewed Eusebio, pushing Oscar out.

A good article for more about this can be found [here].

Thiago. Bartra. Grimaldo. Samper. Munir. Sandro. Eric Garcia. Adama. Mboula. The list can go on.

Graduates are increasingly being denied their chance and are shown the door while excessive amounts of money are being spent on players outside the club. They have shown that La Masia kids more of a way to make money for them and could not care less about developing them to have them on the first team.

Refuses to take any responsibility and actually blamed our players for the fall of La Masia

Bartomeu, July 2017: “The problem is people like Xavi, Iniesta, Messi and those players. It is likely that there are other Messis, but they have to leave the club because it is impossible for them to play here.”

Sergi Roberto

Has worked for years to gain the trust of the coach and become a starter, staying on the bench and refusing offers from other clubs for years to prove himself

Played out of position for 2 consecutive years and not only shined, but played a crucial role in many important moments

The year he was promised an opportunity in his favoured role, Paulinho is signed for €40m with a release clause of €140m (Sergi’s release clause is €40m)

 Lionel Messi

Had his contract renewal stalled by the board for months in 2014. It was Tito Vilanova, in his last days, who spoke with Messi and convinced him to remain calm and stay.

Launched the controversial #WeAreAllLeoMessi campaign during the tax fraud trial, with Bartomeu tweeting out “Leo, those who attack you are attacking Barça and its history. We’ll defend you to the end. Together forever!” ...then, as Laporta pointed out, refused to send any board members to support him when he went to testify in court.

Bartomeu has sent out private polls to socis asking how they felt about selling him

Reemergence of Ultras in Barcelona

Before Laporta, they were given free tickets to home matches, free transportation to away games, and storage facilities at Camp Nou for their flags and banners. 

When Laporta was elected in 2003, he formally banned their presence at matches and fought so hard to keep them away from Camp Nou/distance the club from their conduct that he was almost killed (they painted death threats outside his house and tried to attack him on more than one occasion). Still, he insisted on “talking less and acting more” to stop them. 

When they went to Rosell/Bartomeu after he was elected, he was willing to compromise. They didn’t just “sneak back in”, he invited them back and gave them extremely cheap and sometimes even free tickets. 

This is still happening. We’ve paid for tickets so they can attend UCL away matches. A couple years ago when two PSG fans were recently stabbed outside of Camp Nou in an area frequented by ultras, Bartomeu and his board wouldn’t comply with Catalan police.

2015 Transfer Ban

All of it happened due to the incompetency of the board. 

FIFA warned the board about the problems related to the Masia players over A YEAR before taking action. The board said they would settle it, but they still did nothing. 

They put the “La Masia No Es Toca” banner up and initially lied about the situation, only to have Bartomeu later admit that it was actually due to ‘administrative errors’. 

Zubi himself even said: “Mr. Bartomeu is the one who knew the situation better than anyone, as he was the sporting vice president during that time.” 

We were left with both a harsh punishment due their mistakes and we had to to step up to defend the credibility the academy that is part of why we are més que un club.

Qatar

The club that wore and sponsored (not sponsored by) UNICEF with pride accepts a sponsorship deal with Qatar Sports Investments. ‘Qatar Airways’ gets painted across Camp Nou while UNICEF got relegated to a spot on the back of our shirt.

Justified it by saying Qatar Foundation also were a philanthropy institution who were responsible for helping thousands of people around the world like UNICEF and that most socis welcomed the addition, brushed off the serious allegations against the Qatar Foundation’s founder as mistakes “made in good faith”

While Bartomeu fought to keep them as our sponsor until QSI gave up on the sponsorship, it was Piqué and Shakira who did the work in initiating and closing the new deal with Rakuten.

Bartomeu admitted this himself: “The deal began at a dinner hosted by Gerard Pique at Hiroshi Mikitani's house in San Francisco in 2015. Shakira and Pique are good friends of Mikitani and they organised a dinner. We met there and we spoke about the future and Rakuten's interest - Pique helped us a lot here.”

Camp Nou

Scraped Laporta’s “Forster Project” to renovate Camp Nou claiming it was too expensive. Cost: €250m.

Replaced it with their project, Espai Barça. Cost: €600m. 

Has been unworkable so far due to the board’s inability to get proper plan that the municipality agrees with

Neymar’s Arrival Fiasco

Rosell/Bartomeu lied and did everything they possibly could to make it the move that started the “Rosell era” - A move he could call his own, one that he thought would pull him out from the shadows of his predecessor’s success and ensure his re-election.

This has since only damaged the reputation of this club and got us sued for tax fraud.

Rosell appeared on live TV and said “Neymar costed €57.1 million. Period.”

Actual costs to date = €10 million in 2011 to ensure the move (confirmed by Neymar Sr), €86.2 million in 2013 for the actual transfer + bonus (confirmed by Bartomeu) and €22 million for the tax fraud case = €118 million, approximately. 

A sum of that money was also dedicated to paying Neymar Sr and his company, N&N, every year so he could “scout” Brazilian players (ex: Douglas) for us. Multiple other unconfirmed rumours are connected to this deal as well.

Bartomeu has since said he would "do it all over again" regarding the Neymar contract, despite our club being first in Spain guilty of tax fraud

Neymar’s Departure Fiasco

Bartomeu was aware Neymar was leaving since July, but didn't prepare to sign players to replace him

Panicked after losing the Spanish Super Cup and publicly spoke about bringing Coutinho and Dembele WHILE STILL NEGOTIATING THE DEALS (which could still fall through) with BVB and Liverpool - who can now raise the prices and we won’t be able to do anything about it. 

Even as they were jeopardizing the deals and revealing details about private negotiations, they still tried to claim “they couldn’t say anything about them” (as they literally were speaking about them)

WHAT CAN WE DO?

Make your voice heard - it’s more important and impactful than you might think. 

Use the hashtag: #BartomeuDimiteHoy 

Our voices are already being heard: We’ve made it trend in not only Spain, but worldwide.

The pressure is already being felt: They’ve had #BartomeuDimiteYa censored. They have publicly made claims that this hashtag is “only being used by foreigners” (which is not only untrue, but also a disgusting excuse considering our club's best ever player is a foreigner, the most influential person in club's history is also a foreigner, the club's founder is a foreigner, foreigners alter their sleep schedules to watch games, foreigners pay to buy jerseys/travel from all over the world to support their team, etc...)

Support Agustí Benedito 

He activated the process of the motion of no-confidence and will be leading the campaign for the upcoming vote. 

Twitter: @agustibenedito 

No-Confidence Campaign Website: votdecensura2017.cat

THE CAMPAIGN WILL START OFFICIALLY ON SEPTEMBER 1ST, 2017.

His pressure is being felt too: They have tried to destabilize the No-Confidence campaign by claiming Benedito has owes them €10,000 from his presidential campaign - this has since been confirmed as false.

Are you a soci, 18+, in Barcelona, and have been a soci for 1+ year? VOTE!!!

Socis that meet these requirements are the ONLY ones who can officially give their signatures in the first stage of the vote. 

Benedito should have the forms by Friday, September 8th. He needs 16,500 signatures in 14 days to get past the VITAL first stage of the vote. 

Watch [THIS] video for more in-depth information about Benedito’s motion and SPREAD IT!

I’m probably forgetting some things, and there’s probably even more that we don’t know, but hopefully the message here is clear. 

I will say it again like I did before the last election - I always have and I always will love and stand behind FC Barcelona, no matter what. I’m personally not one of those who wishes worse on the club just so the board looks worse, nor do I point at the board and over-exaggerate every single little shortcoming. I probably even try and balance the reasons behind their actions more than I should sometimes. But all of the things listed above are facts, and while we should never lose faith in our team, we cannot be blind to the mismanagement that is having such a damaging affect either. The calls for Bartomeu’s resignation are not because we don’t have faith in our club; they are because we rightfully do not have faith in the current board. They have gotten away with too much and dodged responsibility for too long. 

Please do what you can to spread the word. Give Benedito’s motion a real chance of succeeding. TOTS UNITS FEM FORÇA. 

[365footballorg-blog]

Wiebe: Six MLS narratives to root for during the weekend's rivalry action

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August 25, 201811:41AM EDT

This is basically me every MLS weekend.

NA-RRA-TIVES! NA-RRA-TIVES! WOOOOOOOOO! https://t.co/9Jlak5k8nj

— Malena (@12thLady) August 25, 2018

There is a lot to be serious about when it comes to soccer, but ultimately the professional game is sports entertainment. Give me quality – we’ve all got our own definitions, that’s another column entirely – and something to talk about, and I’m good.

So yes, I am most definitely rooting for narratives when I post up on my couch to watch Saturday and Sunday night’s Heineken Rivalry Week action. We’ve already got Red Bulls Disappointment™ and Josef Martinez’s dink-and-stare for No. 28 in Orlando, Zlatan being Zlatan (complete with Video Review and bad body language) in El Trafico.

We’ve been spoiled, and there’s still the Canadian Classique and Rocky Mountain Cup to look forward to Saturday and the Atlantic Cup and Timbers-Sounders queued up for Sunday on FS1 (Full TV and streaming info). That’s to say nothing of a six-pointer in Philly and Sporting KC going for four straight wins, neither of which gets the HRW treatment, but is worth your time.

When you root for narratives, every single game has something to offer. Here are six MLS narratives I’m rooting for this weekend, strictly for entertainment value:

Hey, maybe the Union are good!

Bobby Warshaw is driving the bandwagon, but I think I’ve earned the right to ride shotgun.

The hype is real. pic.twitter.com/nZJcFJLQE1

— Philadelphia Union (@PhilaUnion) August 23, 2018

So what if David Accam and CJ Sapong have combined to score foul goals following a season in which they combined for 30? So what if Earnie Stewart had one foot out the door during the summer window? So what if they don’t necessarily look like a playoff team on paper?

The Union never felt sorry for themselves, and they’re making a real go of it with a couple teenage central defenders (and Jack Elliott), a midfield that’s quietly been among the best in MLS, Ilsinho putting defenders on posters every couple games and MLS first-timer Cory Burke leading the team in goals.

Thing was, until last weekend’s statement win against NYCFC, the Union hadn’t beaten an elite team. Now they have, we’ll see if it’s a red herring character revealing. The Revs aren’t elite, but this is a six-pointer in every sense of the cliché, and a win could push Jim Curtin’s men as many as seven points clear of the playoff line.

That would be a blow to the playoff race narrative, but the Union underdog narrative (and the possibility of a Accam/Sapong resurgence story) makes up for it.

Tell me again why Toronto FC can’t make the playoffs…

If one playoff spot is up for grabs – for narrative’s sake, let’s hope it’s two come Decision Day – why not have four clubs fight for it?

For that to seem plausible, Toronto FC must win the Canadian Classique (all Canadian, half French and hopefully preventing Impact fans from tweeting me 401 facts!). They must do it without Jozy Altidore, another juicy narrative entirely!

I am still holding out hope that Toronto can show us more than a hint of the dominance that will forever define 2017 in the MLS record books. Altidore’s suspension extension for this match didn’t help.

  Games Wins Losses Draws Win %   With both Altidore and Giovinco 72 38 21 13 52.8 Without Altidore 43 12 19 12 27.9 Without Giovinco 19 8 6 5 42.1 Without both 10 3 6 1 30.0

That’s from MLSsoccer.com’s own Tom Bogert, and he correctly points out that Sebastian Giovinco’s got it tougher given Altidore’s missed more games. But still.

If the Reds are six points out with nine games remaining, why can’t they make a run? I’d rather this particular narrative stay alive as long as possible.

Diego Rubio, a poor man’s Josef Martinez

There was a time this season when Diego Rubio was so far buried on the Sporting KC bench that the prevailing narrative was that he was in Peter Vermes’ doghouse and, once KC landed their much-ballyhooed striker import, would be on the way out.

There was also a time, as recently as last week, that Rubio had four goals on four total shots. Turns out, when he plays, he scores or helps others score. If you’re talking G/A per 90, an even two (6 G, 4 A) is an MLS-best mark, for guys who’ve played at least 448 minutes. Martinez is on another planet from the rest of the league and he’s averaging 1.31 G/A per 90.

With Minnesota United, the Western Conference’s worst statistical defense and winners of one game in 12 on the road, coming to Children’s Mercy Park on Saturday night (8:30 pm ET | TV & streaming info) and Sporting KC on a three-game winning streak in which Rubio’s scored three times, I’m going to go ahead and assume he’ll get another or two this weekend to keep us talking, even if Matt Doyle sorta poured cold water on that one in his weekend preview. Narrative over numbers.

That’s fun because it keeps the “Do SKC need a striker? And is it Krizstian Nemeth?” narrative rolling and tightens the race at the top of the Western Conference.

It’s not gaslighting, the Rapids are worth watching

Speaking of striker narratives…

Here is your #RSL stat of the day. When Corey Baird plays, RSL scores every 58.6 minutes. When he is not on the field the team is scoring a goal every 84.6 minutes. #RSLStats

— Charles Barnard (@ccb1212) August 24, 2018

The nice thing is I can root for the Homegrown, domestic No. 9 narrative AND the Rapids being somewhat fun to watch. They aren’t exclusive! And the Rapids are somewhat fun to watch, which is not what they’ve been for long stretches for a long time. Teams that play pretty soccer don’t generally have to write newspaper editorials promising to improve.

Know how there are those players, usually Homegrown, that come up with a little or a lot of hype then see injuries, coaching decisions or remove them from the radar? Dillon Serna has been one of those guys. Keep playing him, Anthony Hudson. You’ve got nothing to lose.

#SeñorWayne and D.C. United are playoff bound!

It’s hard to resist this one right now. Five-game unbeaten streak, loaded home schedule at brand-spanking new Audi Field and Wayne Rooney making Lucho Acosta look like Diego Valeri circa 2017.

Black-and-Red, baby! You can’t hold them back, c’mon!

I’m a big fan of what the Red Bulls do as an organization, but since they can recover from an Atlantic Cup draw and there’s not really a strong Supporters’ Shield narrative given Atlanta’s lead and form, give me a viral Rooney moment, Bill Hamid hallway histrionics, three points for D.C. and a razor-thin race for the final Eastern Conference playoff spot.

Added narrative benefit: the blue and red sides of New York in a tighter battle to avoid the Knockout Round and, per usual, Red Bulls Disappointment™.

Sounders win 8th straight, push Timbers below the line

No, I don’t have anything against you, Timbers fans.

It’s just that winning eight straight and jumping your archrival in the standings while pushing them out of the playoff field really does it for me from a narrative perspective.

What a Heineken Rivalry Week finale this promises to be. Enjoy your weekend everybody. I’m on vacation through Labor Day. Be well.

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Wiebe: Six MLS narratives to root for during the weekend's rivalry action was originally published on 365 Football

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To the Stars Ch. 1 - Maiden Voyage

Words: 1832

Also on AO3

---

The dock was packed with bodies, all jostling in their queues, voices raised in wonder at the massive ship waiting for them.

The RMS Titanic stood proudly in her moorings, dwarfing the huge crowd waiting to board. Cranes lifted crates and other cargo onto her deck, while first class passengers were escorted up the gangplanks and third class made their way through health inspection. White Star Line porters raised their voices to direct the crowd, checking luggage and welcoming passengers aboard. And through it all, no one could reign in their thrill over the phenomenon of a ship - the biggest ever built, a marvel of engineering.

The nasally toot of a car horn broke through the din of the crowd, warning people to move aside for the trio of cars trundling down the dock. As they rolled to a stop alongside the ship, the driver of the lead vehicle jumped from his seat and hurried around to the side, opening the door and holding out a hand for the passenger.

She took it and stepped gracefully out of the car, onto the wood of the dock. Tilting back her wide brimmed hat, Valentina took her first look at the ship that was to carry her away.

Before this moment, everything had seemed like a far-off idea, just talk and planning. With her father’s death had come the revelation of his debt, and the family fortune had been whittled away. Her sister Eva had decided there was only one thing to do to secure their futures: have Valentina marry, and marry well.

So Valentina had found herself with a ring on her finger. Her grief for her father had lingered, and she felt bitter that she wasn’t given her time to mourn, Eva pushing her to get over it and go socializing as soon as possible. Even so, it had been easier to just play her part, winning over a respectable man and letting her sister handle all the arrangements.

 It didn’t matter that she didn’t truly care for Lucho, that sometimes she could barely stand his presence. She was almost as good at ignoring her own wishes as he was. He was a gentleman of high standing, someone who could secure her and her sister’s futures.

So she had done what she had to, and accepted his proposal. She knew what was to come, but still, it had all felt so distant, more like a rumor of someone else’s life.

But now the  Titanic  was in front of her, and it was all too real.

Someone exited the car behind her, and Valentina looked over to find her fiancé, Lucho, gazing at the ship with pride, as if it was he that had built it.

In the mood to be a bit petulant, Valentina remarked, “I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It doesn’t look any bigger than the Mauretania.”

Lucho scoffed. “Don’t be like that, Vale. This is  Titanic! It’s over a hundred feet longer than Mauretania, and much more luxurious.”

Valentina said nothing, letting his adulations of the ship wash over her like so much background noise as she wandered a little ways away. Lucho shook his head, holding out his hand to help the last occupant of the car step out. “Your sister is far too hard to impress, Eva.”

Eva gave him a polite chuckle, her own eyes fixed on the Titanic. “So this is the ship they say is unsinkable,” she said, her voice appraising.

“It is unsinkable,” Lucho stated grandly. “God himself could not sink this ship-”

Valentina was glad when a porter interrupted Lucho about their baggage, letting her take in her surrounding without his grandstanding. She watched as workers loaded luggage onto pallets, as lower class passengers had their heads checked for lice, as people already aboard waved jubilantly from the decks of the ship. All around her in the thronging crowd, voices were raised in excitement at finally boarding the  Titanic .

All she wanted to do was scream. Her father was barely cold in the ground, and here she was, being carted back home with a veritable stranger by her side. She didn’t understand how Eva could even think of leaving the place where León was buried. Still, to ensure her family was taken care of, this was likely the best option she had.

Besides, she was a well-bred lady, and knew she was expected to act like one. She pushed her discomfort down and focused on the moment.

“Chivis, my coat?” she asked the family maidservant, receiving a confirmation as Lucho herded the group towards the loading area. Chivis was an older woman who had worked for the Carvajals for as long as Valentina could remember. She was glad she was there, a familiar face to keep her company.

All too soon they were scaling the gangplank, porters just inside the doors to greet each passenger with a proud smile.

With Eva in front, Lucho to her side, and Lucho’s manservant, Montilla following close behind, Valentina couldn’t shake the feeling she was being led onto the ship in chains.

---

Juliana studied her opponents around their small table, searching their faces for any tell, no matter how fleeting. She kept her own face carefully neutral, despite the way her heart was pounding in her chest. Piled in the center of the table was all the money she owned, down to the last cent. It was a risk, a huge one, but she figured that since she had nothing, she had nothing to lose. Besides, the contents of the pot were well worth the gamble. It was all in, everyone having turned out their pockets. A Swiss army knife and a pocket watch joined the jumble of coins, and on top was the piece that had everyone’s palms sweating - a single steerage ticket for the RMS Titanic.

Juliana discarded a card, hiding a tremble in her fingers as she drew another. Her fate depended on this card. With this draw she could be traveling on the greatest ship the world had ever seen, traveling towards home and her mother’s embrace… or she could lose everything.

As she added the card to her hand, she had to fight to keep a smile from her face. A ten. Paired with her other ten and her trio of threes, she had a full house.

She couldn’t celebrate yet though. She still had to see what the other players had.

“All right, moment of truth,” she said. Someone’s life was about to change, right there in that pub.

She watched as the other revealed their cards one by one. The woman to her left threw hers down with a scowl, showing nothing of worth. The man across the table had nothing as well, leaning back in his chair in defeat.

That only left one player. Juliana’s hear picked up speed once more, threatening to beat out of her chest. One last player, but the most daunting one. As the person who had bet the ticket, he had the most motivation of them all to win it back.

He fixed her with a smug look, and Juliana’s stomach swooped as he laid his cards out.

“Two pair,” she remarked, almost breathless. A two pair. She couldn’t believe it.

She had done it.

Shaking her head contritely, she let out a sigh. “You sure do make it hard,” she told the man. A look of triumph passed over his face, but before he could start celebrating, she continued, “Hard for me to wipe you clean. Full house!”

She slapped her threes over tens on the table, jumping to her feet in victory. The table burst into motion; the man across from her leaped to his feet to check her cards, while the man she had bested slapped his hands to his head, his face painted in stupefaction.

Juliana was unable to stop the laughter that poured from her. She snatched the ticket from the table, holding it high. “I’m going to America!”

“No, lass.” The barkeeper’s voice cut through the din of excitement. “Titanic is going to America. In five minutes.” He pointed his thumb over her shoulder to the wall clock, which showed five minutes to noon.

With a curse, Juliana scrambled to scrape her winnings from the table into her canvas bag. Tossing the bag over her shoulder, she dashed out of the pub and towards the ship. As she sprinted full-tilt down the docks, weaving through the crowd and dodging carts and equipment, she couldn’t help but let out another laugh. She had done it, she had won, and soon she would be riding in high style.

She spotted a gangplank just being pulled away from the ship and put on an extra burst of speed, shouting for the porters to wait.

“I’m a passenger! A passenger!” she called as she rushed to the end of the gangplank, waving her ticket at the porter who was hanging out of the open door in the side of the ship.

He shot her a suspicious look. “Have you been through the inspection queue?”

“Of course,” she lied easily. “Anyways, I’m American.”

The porter hesitated for a moment, but then relented. “Right. Come aboard.”

Juliana jumped the space between the gangplank and the door, giving the porter a quick thanks and hurrying off further into the ship before he could question her further. As she darted through the crowded third class corridors, she couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.

Bypassing her bunk, she raced straight for the upper decks. She found an open spot at the railing and dropped her bag at her feet, leaning out over the top rung.

Breathing hard, she finally let herself take it all in. She was on the  Titanic, the largest and most luxurious ship the world had ever seen. And it was going to take her back home. It had been years since she had seen America - even longer since she had seen her mother. They had kept in touch during Juilana’s travels, but it had been sporadic, and the idea of seeing her ma’s face again made her chest ache. But through an extraordinary stroke of luck, she could now be on her way to do just that, Chino be damned.

She let herself get caught up in the jubilant atmosphere as everyone waved and shouted to those seeing the ship off down at the docks. A wide grin crossed her face, but she didn’t wave - she didn’t know anyone down below, although that wasn’t the point. As the crowd around her called their farewells, she made her own goodbyes to that part of her life. She said goodbye to the rolling British countryside and the twisting streets of Paris, to England, to France, to Spain.

And though she truly would miss her time in Europe, it was time to look out across the sea, to another new chapter in her life.