#lower case courtney

[blueclearcloud]

for anyone wondering if ace attorney has ever been here before with names.

[vaguely-concerned]

Eight Little Talons Reread Thoughts

Which, I’ll level with you folks, is mostly just me gushing about Teia and Viago and how much they should kiss because of who I am as a person, but maybe also some actual observations sprinkled in. This is still my favourite story in Tevinter Nights, I think, there’s so much Character Stuff in it. Let’s go!

Viago hated carriages—no amount of plush seating could make up for the inevitable ache of being knocked around like weighted dice. But decorum insisted, and he would not be outclassed by his fellow Talons.

Vs.

“You didn’t take a carriage.” 

“My luggage did. But I couldn’t resist the opportunity for a country jaunt.” She nodded toward the thoroughbred Taslin strider grazing on the top of the hill. “Andoral so rarely gets a chance to let loose in Rialto.” 

“You named your horse after an archdemon?” 

“Don’t worry, Vi. I won’t let him nip you.

You know… Andarateia might gain some illusion of normalcy by standing next to the most paranoid wound-up-tight repressed man around to provide contrast, but I think it’s crucial we keep in mind that she is also nuts. Naming your horse after an archdemon IS an insane thing to do in the world of Thedas huh. I suppose she genuinely seems to think of Caterina Dellamorte as a warm maternal figure and is in love with a tetchy snake of a guy too, it does all start to add up when you look at it like that.

— Beneath the smooth samite, he felt like a sinewy ball of tension. Teia suspected contact of any kind made Viago uncomfortable. It would explain why he swathed himself in indigo from chin to toe and refused to remove his gloves during dinner.

He offers his arm to her and doesn’t pull away when they meet Caterina — only when Dante shows up. Interesting (and possibly part of why Caterina seems to consider the two of them a cleverly stabilizing package deal when they get along lol). I love the mix of playful seduction and genuine fond, intimate knowledge and interest Teia has for him all the way through too — speculating about his childhood, trying to divine his thoughts and intentions, testing to see how he reacts to different things. And it’s so sweet that she seems to regard him with this affectionate amusement and fascination (which he seems to be afraid means that she’s mocking him but is, I think, just another level of appreciation she has for him. Correctly. Because he’s one of the funniest people in Thedas both in concept and in practice. Accountant brained-ass noodle arm Vetinari homage poison specialist. Teia’s neurotic purse dog of a man. Sole royal bastard who willingly chose to have a boring Antivan day job (killing people) and makes spreadsheets about it.) 

— “Not exactly welcoming, are they?” Teia whispered, her breath warm against his ear. 

Viago’s grip tightened on the head of his walking stick.

I swear to god courtney woods is so fucking good at writing romantic and sexual tension. One sentence!!! She drops in a one-sentence detail and it says everything!!!! She has such a knack for consistently adding these details without getting overindulgent or spelling it out too much that I really admire, I tend a bit more towards indulging too much as a writer that way myself so her sense of where to show restraint has me in awe 

— “Don’t ‘Nonna’ me, Andarateia Cantori,” Caterina snapped, although the heat in her voice had lowered to a simmer. “Not even my actual grandchildren call me that.” 

“Well, considering who your grandchildren are,” Teia responded, “I’m not surprised.” 

“How is Master Lucanis?” Viago asked.

Hell yeah Lucanis mention! Can’t wait to see how their dynamics will turn out in-game, we could be in for some truly spectacular and absurd workplace comedy nonsense if we’re lucky

— As always, Viago had with him his leather case of poisons and antidotes for toxins typically hidden in ingredients such as olives, truffles, pasta, lamb, cheese, cream, and alcohol. But he had not expected eggplant.

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, I love Viago so much he’s such a perfect weirdo. Reader, he had not expected eggplant. 

— Taking a deep breath, Viago focused on tying his cravat—an ordinarily simple task except now Teia was running her hands across every surface in his room, and his fingers kept slipping on the final knot. “It would help if you removed the gloves,” Teia remarked. “Surely your own cravats haven’t been tampered with.”

Viago being just… seethingly horrifically despairingly horny every time Teia shows up is so amazing, and Teia clearly paying A Lot of attention to his hands and his reactions at all times… again, courtney woods s tier sexual tension provider. 

— “No,” she said, crossing her arms. “Not until we boil some water.” 

Viago raised a brow. “Eight people were poisoned in this room.” 

“Then run your little tests to make sure it’s safe, but I refuse to look at another dead body until I’ve had my coffee.”

I must take care to repeat: teia is also fucking nuts (affectionate). It’s SO FUNNY that her slightly lighter and softer moral take on being a Crow means she does feel bad about the servants ending up in the crossfire, but she will also demand that viago make her coffee with their horrifically bloated corpses still strewn about the room fhdsjka. 

— Teia had often imagined what it would be like to kiss Viago. She told herself it was only natural. He was handsome, in his own way, and wound up so tight that she likened him to a giant knot. He was a challenge to untie—to twist and pull and loosen until the tension gave way and he unraveled, laying bare all his secrets. But knots were a delicate business. Tug the wrong way and you could end up with a noose.

I know I KNOW they have sex so weird and intimate and no one even takes their clothes off during it I know it in my heart

— “Do you not think you’re attractive?” Viago turned on her, his ears pink. “Ten people are dead.” 

She didn’t back down. “And whoever’s responsible will pay, but that has no bearing on this conversation.” 

“It could be me.” 

Covering her mouth with both hands, Teia doubled over, laughter spilling from her lips. “It’s not you.” 

He looked as if she’d slapped him. “I’m more than capable of killing everyone here.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re offended!” 

“It is offensive,” Viago protested. “Professionally.”

Teia please tell me you love me not only for my body and fashion sense and numerous and fascinating neuroses but also my extensive knowledge of poisons and capacity to cause death

— Again, Viago felt like a lute string. With every challenge, Teia twisted the pegs, tuning him, until she found what she wanted. Which is what, exactly? he asked himself, not daring to listen to the number of answers that bubbled to the surface of his mind.

You know Viago I think we should let her try some scales here at least. See what happens. (There’s no explicit sex in this story but everything that’s going on is nevertheless so kinky fdsjak. I think Teia could convince Viago to show a flash of his naked wrist and have a reaction like a sheltered young Victorian gentleman seeing an exposed ankle and a playful wink for the first time)

— As if she could feel the sudden rush of shame within him, Teia brought her hands up to rest on Viago’s hips, holding him in place. His thumb stilled as he realized her breath was short. Her pupils dilated. Before he could stop himself, Viago nuzzled his forehead against hers, his nose brushing her cheek. Teia’s hands snaked up his chest to run through his hair. She tugged him forward. He braced himself on one arm, while the other curled around the small of her back. 

This whole scene is unspeakably good of course but it’s always the detail of ‘his nose brushing her cheek’ that does me in the most. The longing!!! The yearning, the intimacy, the awkward perfect clumsy physical reality of it!!!! If he kissed her here the magical potion thing on her lips would have been immaterial, the results would have been the same without it!!!!!! The tug of war between longing and fear!

— oblique Zevran mention! <3 as the ultimate failson of house arainai, granted, but as I believe he might argue here: ‘ah, but you have heard of me, no? :>’. Babe I support you so much go out there and raise hell/kill whoever you want to I got your flower

— Big shoutout to the author for managing to pull off an entirely workable ‘And Then There Were None’ plot in the background here, even though the real meat and potatoes going on is the character and relationship development (and what meat and potatoes they are too)! It’s not an easy thing to do even in an abbreviated, more of a homage sort of form and balancing it with everything else going on is a feat

— Caterina 100% knows Teia is in Viago’s room when he’s supposed to be isolated and just doesn’t care lmao. (They act like such teenagers in that scene where she knocks on the door and they haven’t even kissed yet I’m dying). Caterina seems like a terrible person but it’s impossible to not feel for her a little, trying to keep Talons in line seems a lot like herding (very horny very carrying sharp objects) cats 

— Standing outside her ex-lover’s room, Teia tried to quell the violent drumming within her. Normally, she didn’t need to come down from a physical encounter. Seduction—like any form of manipulation—was about control. She could enjoy herself, but Teia always made sure to hold the upper hand. Viago had shattered that control without so much as a kiss.

I feel like this is a sneaky common trait that actually is part of what makes them so compatible (and the playful negotiation of which must feature prominently in their sex life eventually lmao): they are both HUGE control freaks. (Indeed it might be hard to be a successful Talon without this trait.) Teia and Viago both strive for control of themselves and their surroundings so deeply, she’s just much more extroverted, psychologically minded and soft power focused going about it (not unlike Caterina, whose power is built more on fear than charm but works along the same lines), while he’s more coldly intellectual and uh materialist? I want to call it? about it. Which makes perfect sense considering their backstories! Teia came from nothing in a monetary sense but has found she excels at moving people, hearts and minds style — and she’s very good at it, she is everyone’s favorite — so that’s the source of power for her, and Viago is not very charismatic or interested in people naturally but grew up seeing how status, wealth and power have their own clinical gravity that can be used, and also that people can never be trusted to watch out for you in that system.  

If Thedas has a Machiavelli-equivalent to ask whether it’s better for a ruler to be feared or loved they would both instantly give their answer with their whole chest and then squint at each other like ‘babe how do you live like this’ lol

(Also this line of thought has me wondering what the hell Caterina’s partner/spouse(s) would have been like — she must have at least two children to account for Illario and Lucanis, I wonder if she was ever married and what that looked like.)

— I really like the oppressiveness and claustrophobia you get from the descriptions Teia uses in Dante’s room — it feels so icky and sticky with history and sad and confining, and the way she keeps pushing herself through it anyway is weirdly melancholy to me. 

— I also like how their flaws/traits that drive them apart at the crisis point have follow-up consequences outside of their relationship before they reconcile. Teia’s penchant for manipulation and pushing on people indirectly causes the death of someone she once cared about (I mean, fuck that guy, not crying any tears for Dante or his broken bottle, but like in the overarching principle of the thing lol). When she goes too far with it or gets careless, she renders other people vulnerable and helpless in ways she doesn’t anticipate. (Rightfully or not this seems to be part of what scares Viago so much about it, he has this fear of being dissected for whatever she finds interesting and then abandoned when she’s tired of it, the whole underlying being a footnote in her life when she could clearly be something uh a lot more in his anxiety.) Meanwhile Viago’s insistence on self-reliance and reluctance to engage in human contact leaves him easily isolated and nearly results in his death. (And even when Teia saves him he has a hard time giving her full credit in favour of his many neurotic coping mechanisms lmao disaster man.) But when the two of them work it out to understand each other better and come together as a partnership, they’re such a force to be reckoned with that it brute forces the resolution and return to stability near the end. (Well. A significantly reduced version of stability to be fair but y’know better late than never.)

— Also: delicious detail that she is actually the closest you might get to a self-made woman/Talon, and he is definitely at least not in a position to fully dodge the nepo baby allegations — he wants so bitterly to be entirely independent and self-sufficient and not reliant on anyone, and yet it’s his connections inherent to his birth that have helped him get here, while she wants so desperately to have people to rely on because she comes from nothing and has known what it is to be that alone and unprotected. He knows protection and gifts — and love — can easily be taken away and used to control you/render you helpless in your vulnerability from how his father treated his mother, and she knows you have to try to hold on to something in other people or it’s just you and the dirt and you die. Which is what they’re really talking about in that scene where they argue, and it’s why they’re both right and wrong at the same time and it’s so tasty. It’s really Teia asking ‘Will you ever trust anyone? (will you ever trust me, or will you put up this wall every time no matter what I say or do?)’ and Viago going ‘Will you never take precautions to protect yourself against this hurt? (will I have to be the bearer of bad news about how the world really is every time?)’ and neither of them realize that’s what they’re taling about and it’s why it all explodes so badly. (I mean. Factually both came to the wrong conclusion about who the murderer was for fairly good reasons, so there’s also that haha.) 

— I wonder if we’ll see Bolivar or the heirs to the houses left Talon-less in the game itself. I’m guessing they probably won’t have big roles, at least, but you know just as background flavour, especially since Crow!Rook is already within the de Riva uh household as it were. I think Viago is still sensibly mid-table at Fifth Talon in Veilguard and Teia remains Eight? So at least they’re not messing around with that rank order during the occupation 

— In semi-not teia and viago news (I am a character first writer and reader I canot change this), it’s neat to see it outlined just how much the Talons really are just merchant princes with some more added knives and cultural weight behind them. They are at the end of the day running businesses, no matter the mystique ™ you wrap it in. (Which I think Viago would be the first to tell you and Teia might try to argue against at least a little haha. Being a Talon is what you make of it you live your truth girl kill awful men you’ll never run out of contracts!!)

— Can’t believe the Crows have self-congratulatory ‘top 10 murders in history!’ classes as part of the training. Do you think Zev sat through those. Probably, if Teia did, right. Now there were some entertaining hours around the campfire during the Blight I’m sure

— Viago understanding but not accepting Teia’s offer to help him with an alibi and at first angling it as being out of hesitancy to accept help/rely on someone, and then later unveiling the added element that he knows Teia respects and loves Caterina and doesn’t want her to have to lie to her for him… Viago is nothing so simple as secretly nice deep down but he IS horrifically in love with and desperate to be kind to specifically Teia and it gets to me okay  

— I’d forgotten that DA’s passionate love affair with toxic yuri and some recreational bury your gays extended to Guili and Lera in this fdskjah. Would it really be Thedas without it I suppose (considering the genre of the short story it’s fine with me in this case, though, everyone’s dropping like flies in this even the straight people that’s just equality) 

— Viago was not a typical Antivan. He liked facts—checklists, numbers, precise measurements. Heart palpitations, clammy hands, tight pants—Viago did not like these things. In fact, he would go so far as to say he hated them. Mild curiosity was his favorite mood. What Teia had elicited in him was akin to an internal natural disaster.

I simply love him so so much. Mild curiosity was his favorite mood. He failed to account for the eggplant. He’s so annoyed at being poisoned and dying horribly and it literally never occurs to him that anyone would help him until he wakes up in Teia’s lap. He organizes all his poisons by puns. He uses his potentially last breath to argue with Teia about his precise state of dress or undress. Have we finally found him, the perfect man? 

(Also between Reyes and Viago Courtney Woods does such a good line in guys who’d really rather be emotionless machines of practical violence and monetary gain but find themselves down so horrifically catastrophically bad that it cracks them open to reveal a soul they aren’t all that happy to discover they have lol) 

— When Viago woke, it felt like someone had drained the blood from his body and replaced it with sludge. But it wasn’t all bad—someone who smelled like coffee and cinnamon was playing with his hair. . . . Her fingers resumed stroking his hair. It felt better than the water. It felt better than anything.

Unspeakable. Don’t look at me. 

— Viago reaching out and touching Teia’s cheek with his bare hands without a thought and all his tenderness and reverence for her laid bare in turn is something that can actually be so personal and it only took very nearly dying to get there (also… he’s presumably still half-naked through all of this while cradled in her lap. Amazing.). Can’t believe bare hands to cheek feels like third base with these two. And his fucking THOUGHTS through all of this… Don’t cry, he doesn’t deserve your tears, no one does (I don’t, I don’t want to be something that causes you pain) AOUGH

— Vaguely related: the implication in how that part is built is that he’s reaching out specifically to gently dry away her tears, right. Double AOUGHHHHHH not only does he manage to not be selfish or unfair in asking her not to cry he does that instead… there’s hope for you yet messere de riva  

— Teia with the red-hot poker standing guard over Viago while he ‘looks like a king in judgement’ and does the Poirot in the library exposition is everything and so hot what the fuck. She a snacc she attacc but most importantly… she protecc, she’s so fucking cool lol. they’re both really smart, but she’s clearly the brawn as well as the social skills (hey manipulation is such an ugly word!) and he’s the logistics and realpolitik on two long thin nerdy legs, absolute power couple. She’s the gaslight he’s the girlboss together may they gatekeep this invading army out of antiva  

— You guys… this might come as a surprise I have tried to keep it on the down low but. I really do love the world of Thedas so very much. I love the people and the places and the history and the stupidness and the brilliance so much. We must save the world because everyone I love lives here. Let this be a secret between just you and me we can’t let people know we sit/have emotions etc.  

— A servant approached to take the cage in Viago’s hand. 

“Careful,” Viago warned. “He bites.” 

“I can’t believe you’re keeping that snake,” Teia said, shaking her head. “It almost killed you.” 

“Which is more than any man can say. He deserves my respect. And a good home—with all the mice he can eat.” 

“But did you have to name it Emil?” Teia asked, making a face. 

“An homage. You’re always telling me to recognize my fellow Talons.”

Andarateia ‘names her horse after an archdemon’ Cantori x Viago ‘keeps the deadly adder that nearly killed him as a pet and names it after the last guy who failed to murder him’ de Riva. Freak well and truly matched. Soulmates, no notes, I’ll do borderline anything for these two to make it, goodnight. 

[lightleckrereins]

I feel like we’re all getting our hopes up about the new costume variations. If they had intended to use orange pants and shorts only for the full run last time (and didn’t bother replacing the pants when something presumably went wrong), I doubt they’re going to have a new variation designed this time. And if Cristina is still going to function as an if-necessary back up (which seems to be implied by ‘alternate swing’) I can’t imagine they’re going to design new alt variations for her. (I know it’s unlikely Zara’s costume is still wearable, but why would they give her the pink costume instead of silver if there wasn’t a practical reason like reusing a costume instead of making a new one?) I want new variations as much as anyone so I’m mostly hoping you can convince me lol

How about a really long answer (under the cut)

I think in this case the most likely scenario is a middle point. No suddenly getting all the missing variations but also no only one costume either.

So first. We know Cristina is pink. She wore pink for the color coded promo shoot for the color coded show. If she was going to wear silver her promo outfit would have been silver.

And costumes will be new. The original costumes are almost five years old, worn, and designs are not up to date. Even for returning cast in the same role they are due for a new costume. Specifically about Cristina she will probably get a new pink costume with only the main variation. I don't think there is any chance she gets an old one refited. There is a small chance she ends up wearing Zara's costume again with the whole alternate swing thing. But I think the most likely scenario is a new costume. All UK alt costumes made since reopening are now their alt stock so those arent free to take to AUS.

And she will have her own costume. It falls in the same category as the alt costumes in the UK or the cruise alt costumes or even the swing variations (when those are made). Some costumes are not expected to be worn many times but that doesn't mean necessary things won't be made.

It is not really fair to compare the situation AUS was in at reopening vs now. Then it was a popular but small show that last time it was active it had to refund months of advance ticket sales because of the pandemic. Now it is the highly anticipated return of a hit show thats selling out months before opening.

Back then money was tight, borders were closed or restricted and there were major supply chain issues. We don't really know the details of their situation but from what we do know they made smart choices. Phoenix got a new costume made with the materials available at the moment (including a different vinyl color). Chelsea got a new top and Chiara a new peplum but otherwise they inherited Courtney and Ella's costumes. Everything else just got minor alterations. Chiara did have the pants and wore them up to tech, my guess is they ended up being uncomfortable for her to wear with no easy alteration to fix them. But she did have two variations to wear which covered all queens so things were left like that. Compare that to what happened in the UK and US. All new costumes in the US, a lot new to take all UK principals to some version of the updated designs, major alterations as necessary for everyone else, many new wigs crowns and hairpieces. Completely different situations.

The new AUS cast is best compared to the Canada opening. New costumes for the entire cast, a lot of work put into hair alternatives in the months leading up to CAN, lower heels introduced. AUS will get the same new and shiny treatment.

With the alt costumes it gets tricky. Everyone is confirmed as swing and announced with an alt color. The easy guess from that is they are getting alt costumes only over principal costumes for two roles and alt costumes for everything else like the UK alts. The costume system is the question.

Back in the good old costume days (read 2019) the alt costume system was, with a few variations, alts get 1-3 costume variations meant for their first covers and wear whatever worked best if they had to go on for second or third covers. The strenght of that system is versatility: one main top with two different bottoms goes a long way with creating different looks that fit each role. Add different sleeves, crowns and hairstyles and they are set.

When the 2019 AUS costume teasers started everyone assumed that would be the case, each alt had two very specific costume variations that accounted for all six queens. They ended up being all swings with no official cover order. But if you look into performance numbers there ended up being an unnoficial cover priority in place (different to what the costumes said tho). I think that will be the case again. No hard cover order but a priority of who goes on for what to play to their strenghts.

And that priority is the most important thing in here. If it is stablished already, which is possible considering Chiara is returning, and Gabriella did a different production already so they know what works best for them, they might go for variations that favor that priority. If not they will probably go for whatever is the most versatile. My current guess is 2-3 variations for everyone except Cristina with whoever is priority Cleves getting the jacket and likely reveal which was mentioned as a possibility in the casting call.

And here is where the fun starts. Multiple black variations have been worn since reopening and without a surprise return of the B/H skirts we know how the uptated black variations look. But for teal and orange nothing has been touched since 2019 except the pants. Even if the AUS swings get just two variations, and even if it is same designs as before just with new materials updates need to happen. And here I start asking questions (because that is how I design alt variations):

Orange Cleves will probably stay mostly the same with added studs for the cutouts, but the shorts have fur. Will they switch that for vinyl to reflect updated cleves and work better for other queens? Will they alter the shoulders to do spikes? How about teal Cleves, the jacket is too plain for current six costume standards. How will the cutouts look? If there is a priority Cleves cover does she have a reveal? And the teal open skirt? There are three potential designs, would it be any of those with more studs or a completely new one? How does a potential orange open skirt look like? Peplum or no peplum? Which cut for Seymour skirts? If there is a priority Boleyn cover does she get that skirt? Teal has two designs already. Is it either of those? Do they add tabs like the ones on the peplum? And orange Boleyn, there are different cutout options. Which wins?

I could go on and on. But my point is. Only alt costumes says its very likely the swings get more than one variation if only to give them a better look range for all six queens. And just making those in 2024 vs 2019 means things have to change to some degree.

[fraudulent-cheese]

Ok i've figured out an elimination order for my TDWT rewrite au thingy! (if ur curious about the general gist + later elimination plots here's the og post here ya go)

putting this entirely under the cut because it's gonna get LONGGG

This covers episodes 1 to 13!

Sorry Ezekiel stans, he's still the first voted out. the first episode actually turns out in a similar-ish way, outside of the different teams and team amazons having trouble with their camel. Team Victory is still last, and Zeke still gets voted out.

However by episode 3, there's the first major elimination order change: Team Amazons looses the challenge, and Cody gets the boot. This is for two reasons: Leshawna's more of a leader on her team and is able to reel Harold back a little, and the Amazon's commercial ends up loosing because of Cody's addition. The votes end up being a tie between Heather and Cody (Gwen and Sierra voted Heather because of course, Heather and Courtney voted for Cody because he lost the challenge for them.) Sierra is absolutely heartbroken from Cody's elimination, but he's pretty happy to go so early.

Bridgette still gets played by Alejandro in this AU, but he has to be a little subtler about it due to Leshawna's higher suspicion of him. He still manages to get Bridgette stuck to a poll and stoke a bit of fire between Heather and Leshawna. That and Sierra's still depressed in the background so she's not performing as well in challenges.

episode 5's still a reward challenge, not much changes, i'd say same with the first Aftermath?

episode 7, Leshawna still gets eliminated after starting a fight with Heather (which is the point where Heather REALLY starts to hate Alejandro since he's messing with her friendships now). I think Alejandro's way of doing it is provoking one or the other, sorta-flirting with both of them which seriously annoys Heather and frustrates Leshawna (she's trying to figure out if he's actually interested or just playing her. I guess she got her answer.) This also makes Alejandro Harold's enemy, and does raise both Noah and Eva's suspicions of him (Noah's the one that noticed it and he talked about it a bit with Eva, who's more eager to get on the guy's case than Noah is)

episode 8's still a reward challenge, however notably Alejandro's attempted manipulation of Owen doesn't work because Team Escope's a unit and he's 100% fully convinced his friends wouldn't do that on purpose (or maliciously in the case of Izzy). I think this would be a sort of turning point with Alejandro's dynamic with the rest of his team - he fully realises he can't break these idiots appart, from any angle (especially since Ozzy's already split here and Eva + Izzy are pining for eachother). So what does he do? He'll play along. (and accidentally befriend multiple of them but shushhhh)

episode 9 is also further divergence and is where the Team Victory trio gets to shine more - they actually win the whole challenge! much to Alejandro's frustration, since Team Victory was supposed to be the easy team to take out, wasn't it? He's fully friends with Noah at this point, and on his way to befriending Izzy and lowering Eva's suspicions, even just slightly. Meanwhile, Heather's in a bit of a pickle: her team is last and both Gwen and Courtney are getting closer, and really don't like her. Sierra is being no help, as she knows Heather's a real snake and is fully willing to vote her off. However, there's one factor none of the girls have considered yet; sabotage. So Heather makes an alliance/deal with Harold. He'll change the votes, and she'll make sure his team gets some kind of advantage next challenge.

episode 10, this is a more lowkey episode focused mostly on the character's interpersonal drama and Alejandro's current relationship with his team - he's starting to actually consider their individual strengths instead of just trying to do it his way, courtesy of actually talking with Noah about it. Courtney and Gwen still look for the Duncan shaped rock, but Gwen's only doing it to be with Courtney (gay) meanwhile, Heather rams her boat into team Escope's boat and later on tries to get team Victory's boat ahead. Im choosing to explain Heather actually sticking to her deal with Harold as both friendship foreshadowing + her trying to keep a solid ally with her in the game.

episode 11. OK THIS ONE'S IMPORTANT FOR MULTIPLE REASONS: this is Team Escope's first member loss, being Owen getting disqualified due to injury. Alejandro's secretly glad he's gone, but he's trying to keep a sadned mask around the team who's pretty bummed, especially Noah and Izzy. He manages to motivate Izzy for the challenge, but Noah's not on his side; he sees through the mask and knew Alejandro disliked Owen for a reason he hasn't fully figured out yet and calls him out on it in private. That, and the DJ thing. i haven't explained it fully, but DJ still has the animal curse thing - support from Harold, Lindsay and occasionally Heather (she's doing it to win Harold's favor + DJ's the only contestant she's consistently nice with) has been reducing it over time, but Alejandro exacerbates it for him this episode. Noah begins to suspect quite seriously that Alejandro's only pretending to be friends with him, Izzy and to a lesser extent Eva (something that Alejandro would probably agree to be doing with Eva and Izzy, but not Noah. He's 100% actually friends with Izzy and hasn't realised it tho.) Officially, he's still acting friendly with him, but he's really not sure if it'll stick.

episode 13, and of course the turning point! on each team, the members captured are:

-Alejandro from the start -Heather after the stretching thing -Harold after he got distracted and started infodumping -Izzy just. dissapears mid challenge -DJ on the bus.

Eva and Noah still catch the Ripper, and Noah drops his "slippery eel" warning to Eva and Izzy (Izzy's on the stretcher.). Eva considers it and in an impressive act of restraint only promises to do something about it if it's confirmed, while Izzy half agrees half denies it. (she's denying it because she knows Noah thinks he's not friends with him. Izzy can tell it's genuine. Izzy is Izzy and would just be able to tell, she can see through people's masks pretty well, considering she calls out Mal in AS and i regularly HC her to be simply acting crazy for shits and giggles.) Either way, Alejandro does NOT take it well at all. That, and Duncan's back! Team Victory and Escope have the choice to get him but well. Harold's still here. So to team Escope the punk guy goes! And he immediatly tries to kiss Gwen in the confessional! He does end up kissing her, but she recoils quickly. Sadly not quickly enough for Izzy to not end up seeing them.

could you tell i started having fun writing this outline out the farther we got? Hope this was comprehensible!

[isadollie]

Hello fellow human,

I saw that you had a matchup open and I wanted to check it out. I really wanted to do this kind of stuff, but when I've found someone it was already closed. So I'm excited you're open for it :D

It's my first time so no pressure :3 (really no pressure, please don't be uncomfortable or stressed out about it)

To my matchup request. It would be for Haikyuu and Tokyo Revengers. If you only want to do one then I choose Haikyuu.

Now to my person:

---

🦝 Name? --- Yumi

🦝 Pronouns? --- She/Her

🦝 Sexuality? --- Bisexual

🦝 Girl or Boy matchup? --- Boys please :3

🦝 Likes? --- Sushi. Give me sushi and I'm happy. But music is also top priority on my list. I cannot without music.

🦝 Dislikes? --- I really don't like it when one is lacking manners. When I eat with someone and they are constantly on the phone, then I really want to punch them in the face and throw the phone out of the window. Not that I'm actually doing it, but I want to. Also crying children.

🦝 Freetime activities? --- I often play videogames and listen to loud music. Thou I also tend to draw characters until late at night.

🦝 Aesthetic? --- I really like the dark academia, but also a Big City at night aesthetic

🦝 Appearance? --- Naturally I have ash blonde hair but I have my hair dyed in red. Hair length wise I would say lower back. My eyes are blue and I have a very pale skin. Height is 159cm / 5'2.

🦝 Personality? --- My best friends alway tell me that I'm reliable and kind, but also very lost and savage. I also tend to be quick to throw jokes.

🦝 MBTI? --- INFP

🦝 Dream birthday present? --- Honestly, just a bouquet of flowers. Never got one, always wanted one.

🦝 Love language? --- Gift giving and some physical touch

🦝 Zodiac sign? --- Gemini

🦝 Favourite songs? --- Currently it's "LET THE WORLD BURN by Chris Gray" and "Villain (Take the shot) by Barns Courtney"

---

I hope this helps you :D

If you have any more questions then just ask right away. I hope you're having fun.

And again don't feel stressed out or anything, don't forget to drink enough and enjoy yourself :3

Lots of love <3

— matchup —

if you'd want a matchup too, make sure to check out this! link

i match you with...

Akaashi Keiji!

★ there you have him! a well-mannered man through and through!

★ mention to him once that you like sushi, and the next day you'll find three boxes of it on your desk. if you don't tell him that it's enough for now, he'll get you some every day probably lol

★ he became a manga editor in the future, so i assume he sees a lot of drawings daily, knows a lot about drawing. you two would have a lot to talk about in this case then!

★ he'll get you those flowers 100%. every year. every month. every week. every-

the same as with sushi, if you mention you want something, he'll get it for you in a heartbeat. i think he would decide that just flowers aren't enough though, and would get you something else with them as well

★ he loves people who are reliable, just like him!<3 plus, he admires kindness in people a lot, so he really likes it about you!

i match you with...

Chifuyu Matsuno!

★ Fuyu himself is very loyal, so he would really like to be with someone who is like this as well; in fact i believe this is one of the most important traits to him

★ a big city at night aesthetically screams tokyo revengers in general haha. but if you like how the city look like at night, make sure to tell him and he'll take you on a late night ride on his bike!

★ if i remember this one correctly, i believe Chifuyu liked to read mangas, so i'm sure whenever he has a new favourite character he would ask you to draw them for him lmao

★ i feel like he'd love your long hair!! he's not good at it, but would ask you if he can practice making some hairstyles on you

★ he'd really appreciate a partner who has a good sense of humor, he'll love that you make jokes and are able to make him laugh!

hello! here is your matchupp! i hope you like it<3 your second match was takemichi for tr, and iwaizumi for hq!

[magma-grunt-zesty]

Magma Grunt Fact #8:

Despite our busy schedules, that does not mean we do not have a balanced life. Leader Maxie always factors in enough time for us grunts to train our Pokemon.

On the lower levels of our facility we have battle fields designed for various different environments to help train our Pokemon.

The only requirement that we have is that grunts must complete at least 5 hours of training by the end of the month. Of course you have the freedom to do more but Leader Maxue just wants to ensure that we grunts have our teams battle ready in case of emergencies.

When it comes to whom we can battle that is also up to us grunts. We can battle as teams, with friends, by ourselves or with higher ups.

For self battling we have rental pokemon who can act as our opponents.

As for higher ups this can be a bit more if a challenge, literally. Not only do their Pokemon pose more of a battle challenge, requesting an opportunity to battle them can be quite the hurdle.

Unlike what most would assume Leader Maxie is quite flexible when it comes to requesting to battle him! . . . though many shy away . ... he can be very intimidating not to mention his team is strong for us grunts.

Courtney is by far anyone's best shot at asking for battles. . . she's more than happy to battle anyone who asks!!

Tabitha is by far the trickiest. It isn't that he doesn't like battling he just has a very very veryyy busy life. Or so he says. . .which means he doesn't have the time to battle every grunt who asks. Though if you're lucky, catch him on a good day and he might give you the chance to battle him.

[scryptids]

courtney eaton / she/they  ———  no way is that ODETTE ‘ODIE’ GARDENER.. they’re a 28-year-old HUMAN notoriously known for being CLUMSY  &  NOSY  but there are some people who have seen them being CARING  &  COMICAL.  if you ask me, they remind me a lot of perpetually untied shoelaces that could become a problem, goofy grins after an unfortunate mishap, a collection of sweaters that doesn’t belong in texas, and asking too many questions, but that could just be because they’re considered the WALKING DISASTER around town. just keep an eye on them  &  see if their true colors shine through..

full name: odette clare gardener birthdate: january 6th age: 28 height: 5’10” occupation: tbd ship status: closed bio:

it’s always been odie gardener’s destiny to be the comic relief; at least, that’s what they seem to think

born via a surrogate to two moms, they harbored a light-hearted spirit from the very beginning

no matter the situation they were a happy kid, bumbling about joyously while everyone around them watched on in curiosity

but with that happiness came the clumsiness; it seemed that if you looked at odie wrong, they would somehow hurt themselves

it didn’t matter if it was a tiny bruise or scrape or if it landed them in the emergency room, odie kept a positive attitude about the whole thing

their mothers would joke that they had to keep their child in a bubble for fear of them gravely injuring themselves, but odie always refused

they liked being able to explore the metroplex freely, keeping someone by their side at all times just in case

at school, odie had a reputation for being a walking disaster and a goofball, both titles that they held proudly

while in class, it was obvious that odie had a hard time focusing, always getting distracted by the smallest things or cracking jokes at inappropriate times

their grades were never the best, and despite their mothers urging them to try and focus more, all of their efforts seemed to go to waste

showing more and more concern with their attention span as the days went on, odie was taken to the doctor to try and get to the root of the problem

after months of testing and consulting with various therapists, odie was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia

while the diagnosis provided their mothers with some relief, they still worried for odie’s future

in a act of desperation, odie’s parents signed her up for tutoring sessions, hoping that one-on-one learning would help her focus a little bit more

while the tutoring helped a little,odie deemed herself a lost cause, and she barely passed all of her classes and graduated

college obviously wasn’t an option for them, but they didn’t want to feel useless, so they got a full time job at killer trash

working at the thrift store gave odie ample opportunity to socialize, and she fell in love with the job almost instantly

plus, working at killer trash meant that odie got to witness members of the skyport mafia coming and going, and their curiosities about them were something she just couldn’t contain

these days, odie lives happily in a lower district apartment 

they are still very much clumsy, and they live off of takeout food because they’re not allowed in their own kitchen (too many hazards live in there)

they keep a pretty broad friend group, not really feeling like they fit into anywhere in particular, but also too friendly to ever leave anyone alone

absolutely voted most likely to oops their way into the mob, simply because they’re too nosy and will one day know too much to ever be let go

[femmmie]

What comes next

Anthony and Ian get it on, @lilac-hecox gave me this idea. But ofc I had to make it angsty. Sorry!

Anthony was horny. He was always horny around Ian. Even at his least horny, he was at least a little horny when they were together. But right now, his dong pressed against his pants uncomfortably. Luckily, he was having a great time.

Ian and Anthony were writing. The new sketch was really coming along. Looking at Ian, it seemed to Anthony like he was radiating, glowing with creativity. It was incredible to witness. And as much as it pained him, he had to tone down the more edgy - and therefore funnier - jokes. He would love to see what a truly unchained, unhinged sketch by Ian would look like.

"And then Courtney will say, ohh but I just drank all this delicious mommy milk, I'm not sure if I can handle more." Ian made a duck face and put his index finger on his lower lip, turned around and stuck his ass out at Anthony.

Anthony fidgeted in his office chair. They were at his house, his home office. His damn dick wouldn't chill out and his best friend looked more delicious every day. Of course, in the old days, there had been the many instances Ian had made innuendos and Anthony had called his bluff. Most of the time, Ian would retreat, but when they would be particularly high, he would go further, and further, and before they knew it they would be naked in Anthony's bed. They were regrettably sober today.

"Ian, I would scream laugh if I saw this, but I wouldn't be able to because YouTube would have blocked the video and deleted our channel."

"I know, I just wanted to see your reaction. That look on your face, like you have right now, it's priceless." Ian grinned.

"Oh, shut up. I tell you, you have a nice butt and you work it into every single joke today," Anthony looked at Ian's body, so curvy and inviting...

"If you got it, flaunt it!" Ian retorted and did a goofy fucking dance, making Anthony super annoyed and turned on.

"Ugh, lunch break."

"Alright... but you're into it!"

They sat down at the kitchen table, having what could only be described as a very LA lunch. Gluten-free, vegan bagels with avocado spread. Anthony was still fidgeting, changing the way he sat constantly. Ian looked at him while chewing on his bagel.

"Ohkay, cut it out. What's the matter, my guy?"

"Well, Ian," Anthony began. Dare he admit the truth? Anthony shut his eyes for a brief moment and remembered what he'd learned in therapy.

"Well... Ever since we've gotten back together, I... have noticed how good you look.. and how I would absolutely destroy that bussy." In his last sentence, he used just a little bit of comedy in his intonation, but he meant it absolutely serious.

"Dude, I've seen you looking," Ian responded, a small smile on his face while chewing food and talking at the same time.

"You want it, don't you?"

Ian swallowed his bite and stood up, turned around, and twerked.

"In front of MY salad?!" Anthony protested, pleased with himself. Ian kept twerking, and Anthony just grabbed his butt, held it tightly, and said: "That's quite enough, mister Hecox." He squeezed and almost nutted in his pants.

"Do you want me to put a baby in you?"

"Ew no?"

"I mean my semen, dumbass"

"Ohhh, in that case, yeah."

Anthony gave Ian's ass-cheeks a slap and pulled down his pants.

"Why do you think I keep showing you my ass? I want you to fuck me already! We haven't done it since we've reconciled, it's been too long, damnit."

"You're so willing, aren't you?"

They walked towards Anthony's bedroom but landed on the couch.

"Fuck, have you grown since then? A.. argh yes, oh please be gentle.."

"It has been too damn long. Argh, I need this so badly!"

Anthony saw Ian's hole, his thick ass, though maybe not as thick as before, and he couldn't help but go in full speed.

"Ahh, OH! Anthony..."

"I will, I will."

Anthony slowed down. "You're doing great. Please just breathe in and out, okay? I'm going in fully now."

"Ian I'm gonna come already, you turn me on so much, more than anyone... IAN!!"

Sweat dripped along Anthony's temples, down his chin, on top of Ian's beautiful back.

"Thank you..."

He slid out of Ian, and they walked to the shower to clean up.

"Hey, what's up?"

Anthony was looking down, lip quivering.

"I.. I'm just so frustrated. Why is the best sex in the world, with YOU, not a fertile kind of sex? Why can't we have kids together..."

Ian took Anthony's face in his hand and looked into his caramel eyes.

"Hey, I understand that feeling. But truly, even if I could have children, I wouldn't."

"Why not? Wouldn't our kids be so cute?"

"That they would, you're right. Come here."

They embraced, and Anthony let his tears stream freely, for they were being washed away by the shower. This feeling was very important to acknowledge, he thought, for it showed him what he wanted in life. He wanted a family. And he wanted Ian to be part of it. How that would look like, he didn't know yet, but he would figure it out, as he always did.

Ian was already back on his bullshit, flaunting his ass while drying off.

"I hope you're ready for another round!" Anthony teased

[hournites]

Idk if you’re still taking hournite requests but if you are can you do one about them kissing after a stake out because I’m a sucker for hourman!rick sweeping Beth off her feet and you’re the best writer of them!!! No pressure! Hope you have a great day! Love your writing <333

"This is a dud." The ground shook when Hourman landed from his jump out of the scouting tree. "I'm out."

"Rick!" Courtney groaned, lowering down from her vantage point higher up the evergreen that touched the boarding school's estate, whispering through clenched teeth. She pointed her staff at him. Cosmo's light swerved up and down in response, quiet with the faintest of glows. "We're being discreet!"

He stretched his neck, rolling it around. Wildcat and Dr. Mid-Nite slowly emerged from their own hiding, shooting each other helpless looks.

"Who cares? We've been here for three hours. My hour's about to give up. Nothing is happening here, let's leave."

The long claws of Yolanda's suit gloves tapped impatiently against her folded arms. "He's right, Court. I get that you think the Helix Institute is freaky, but we already questioned Nurse Love and Director Bones. Nothing weird has happened since they thought we left here."

"Not you too!" Courtney exclaimed. Her curls whipped back and forth as she whirled around, trying to rally support from Beth, the last of her team members to yet chime in on the fate of her precious stake out. "Dr. Mid-Nite?"

Beth hesitated, checking the time. "It's almost 3 AM in the morning. Don't you have that math test to study for, Court?"

Yolanda smacked Courtney's arm. "You have a math test?!"

"Hey!" Courtney struck out Cosmo, flying above ground to avoid the attack. "It's fine! I studied! I've got it handled!"

Rick sucked in an annoyed breath. "You need to study. Beth skipped dinner for this and Yolanda needs to get back home before her mom sends her here next."

Courtney's face brightened, suggesting her eyebrows rising behind her blue mask, a horrible idea obviously cooking in her head. She opened her mouth. "What if Yo--"

"No!" vetoed Rick and Beth simultaneously. Beth looked surprised at their matched adamant tone, and even more so at the wink he shot her when he noticed her still looking.

Yolanda jutted her hand out with a glare. "Girl don't even go there!"

"I've got night vision and snacks," said Beth, always taking one for the team. "You're the one with the test, Courtney. I don't mind staying a little longer with Rick until his hour is fully done."

Courtney looked like she wanted to protest, but Cosmo chirped, dragging her onto the path in the opposite direction of the school. "Whoa!"

"See?" said Rick. Even the staff agreed. Case closed.

"Okay, sheesh! I get it! I get it!"

Yolanda waved before jogging to follow. "We'll meet up again tomorrow."

Beth lifted the goggles from above her eyes, incredulous at Rick's aloofness as they waited around in the dark. "You're not going to convince me to leave, too?" She dug into one of the pockets of her yellow and black suit for a granola bar. Two bites into it, she turned to glance again, still waiting for a reply.

"It'll be over soon." He tapped at the base of his hourglass. The sand was aglow, tilting into the slightest pile at the edge of the pinhole.

"I thought you were itching to get out of here."

"I was...but..." He craned his neck upwards, looking back to the evergreen. It was a nice view, eerie institute aside, and the moon was out. The other girls got to climb and fly high, but Beth always stayed grounded. It wasn't fair she always missed out on seeing the sights. Holding out his gloved hand, he reached for Beth.

She tucked her granola bar away, interest piqued. "But?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Are you seriously Aladdin-ing me right now?"

He cracked a smile. "I don't have a magic carpet."

She levelled him a look. "You're my boyfriend for a reason. Yes, I trust you."

"Nice to hear. Hold tight." He took her hand, and secured it around his neck. It was just enough time for Beth to yelp when he started moving. She clung onto his cape, hooking one leg around his hip as he launched up to dangle from the lowest tree branch, effortlessly climbing up until they were at eye-level with the school's roof. Beth shuffled, sitting with one hand bracing the trunk like her life relied on it gazing around in the open air.

"It's pretty, right?"

Beth, still winded and a little speechless, nodded her head. She smiled at the way he looked at her instead of the starry night and moon. He was proud of his trick and she knew it. He managed to sweep her off (and sixteen ft above) her feet.

She fixed her goggles on again, scanning the area with her new vantage point. Just as Rick was about to ask what she was looking for, she gasped, grabbing his hand. "An owl!" she whispered excitedly, pointing at the next tree. "It's watching us, look!"

There was indeed an owl perched on the branch a few feet away. Its black eyes grew in size as it stared at its unexpected guests.

"Are we, uh, disturbing him?"

Beth tapped the side of her goggles. "It's a girl, she's a Barred Owl. Five years old." She flipped a switch, entering X-Ray mode. "And currently digesting her last meal." Beth winced, removing her goggles so she wouldn't have to watch more of the owl eating its dinner.

"Definitely disturbing, then. Maybe she's Hootie's cousin," Rick joked, humouring her.

"Maybe."

"We should leave her alone."

"Is that why you brought me here?" Her eyes fell to his lips. "For privacy?"

"Do you think we need it?" Rick was so close, Beth wasn't gripping the trunk for support anymore, instead she leaned into his space until her back fit against his suit. His arm securely wrapped around her. Better at heights, she may be, he'd still never let her fall. Her hair tickled his nose when he tipped his chin down.

"I'd never say no," she breathed.

Rick kissed her smile. She sighed, bringing a hand to his cheek, mask and all. She cupped his face and pressed another kiss when the last one ended and the sandglass was empty. "We're going to be so tired at school."

"Did you want to get down?"

"No."

"Me neither."

end.

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tti episode 5

“Last time on Total Takes Island! A friendly contest compiled our funniest- I mean, most gifted- contestants in a battle of the talents. It had a little bit of everything- barf, sabotage, and an impressively academic win from Scruffy for the Inane Anons. In the end, it was Patrick who took the walk of shame, but not without threatening a few people first. Who will earn Chef’s approval today? And who will go home? Find out now- on Total! Takes! Island!”

“WHERE ARE THEY?” Julia screams, throwing out a variety of her cabinmate’s belongings. “WHERE. THE HELL. ARE THEY?”

Kelly and Michael gaze the piles and piles of clothes, mementos, and summer camp staples (sunscreen and bug spray, mostly) lying on the steps of their cabin as they walk back from the mess hall together, and they give each other a concerned look. 

Julia throws out Kelly’s straightening iron and both duck to avoid it, though it whacks McLovin in the head behind them. He falls to the ground with a faint thump and Kelly and Michael turn back to the cabin. 

“WHICH ONE OF YOU-” Julia throws open the screen door on the cabin and steps out, pointing an accusing finger. Both take a step back as if she’s about to lunge for them, then they notice something seems- off about her. “WHO TOOK MY GLASSES?”

---

JULIA: “Before coming to the island, I pushed up my annual optometrist appointment to get my new prescription before coming here. Yeah, I watched Island- I know that Leshawna’s vision correction was not up to date- I saw her squinting! I’m not making that same mistake.

---

“Woah, no one took your glasses,” Michael says, holding out her hands and waving them down in a “calm down, for the love of God” motion. “They probably just got lost in the cabin.”

“I’ve been looking for hours!” Julia yells. She can recognize Michael by her voice and the vague blob of dark green and navy blue standing next to a blur of white-gold that must’ve been Kelly. 

“We’ve only been gone for like, twenty minutes. Here, I’ll help you,” Michael gives Kelly a shrug, indicating that she’s got this, and walks into the cabin. “Where’s the last place you remember seeing them?”

“Next to my pillow in their case, where I always put them before sleeping. When I woke up, they were gone!” Julia jabs a finger in the direction of her bed. Michael puts on a smile and reassuringly pats her shoulder. 

“They probably just fell behind the bunk. I’ll look,”

Julia rolls her eyes and grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest. She’s still clad in pajamas, having ignored everything as soon as she noticed they were gone. 

Michael gets on all fours and crouches down, lifting up the bottom bunk’s blanket and staring into the abyss. Scary is hunched in the darkness under the bed, eyes reflecting in the morning light like a cat’s. Michael is silent for a few moments before clearing her throat. 

“Have you… um, have you seen Julia’s glasses case, by any chance?”

“In order to pass to get your need, you must answer my riddles three!”

“Aw, what? Oh- nevermind,” Michael says, reaching to the inner corner and coming back out from under the bed, covered in dust bunnies and holding a dark blue glasses case. 

Julia’s face lights up. “Oh, thank you! Thank you! Are they okay? Are they hurt?”

Michael opens the case and peers inside. “They’re… not in here,”

“WHAT?!”

---

Courtney relaxes as they sit at their usual corner of the table, McLovin shielding them from the rest of the team as he absent-mindedly holds a grimy ice pack to his jaw. 

“I have a good feeling about today,” Courtney smiles, subconsciously folding their napkin into an origami crane. “If I remember correctly, this challenge will be easy enough for us to win, even if Mal tries to throw it.”

McLovin blinks. “Why do we think Mal is sabotaging the team, again?”

Courtney holds a finger to their lips to hush him, and then looks around the table. Mal and Ass are sitting on the other side, making each other friendship bracelets. Courtney lowers their voice to continue: “It’s just a hunch I have. The dodgeball game, the talent show… something is going on,”

“Really?” McLovin looks at Mal. “But she seems so… nice?”

“That’s what she wants everyone here to think. She knows no one would believe me…”

“I would,”

Courtney hesitates for a few moments, and then grabs McLovin’s wrist to drag him outside, behind the communal bathrooms. “If I tell you, you have to promise to keep this a secret,”

“Promise. I’m an expert at secrets, trust me,”

“Well…” Courtney sighs. “The whole reason I auditioned to come here was because my reputation is at stake because of it. That girl… Mal… she’s not who everyone thinks she is.”

McLovin raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Her real name is Lucy. We both run Total Drama blogs. We were even friends, for a while… that is, until I figured out what her true colors are. When she found out I was going to cut her off, she published this huge manifesto about me- my secrets, my feelings, things we’d shared in confidence over questionably secure private chats. She accused me of glorifying Total Drama Island, and disregarding the struggles of the past contestants. She said that unless I was actually on a season, I was a liar, a manipulator, and a “”toxic fan””. So… I came here to prove myself, and she followed,”

“Woah, that’s heavy stuff,” McLovin says, frowning. He looks over his shoulder, back to the mess hall. “If what you’re saying is true, then… everyone’s in some serious sh-”

“I know! But I can’t say anything, because she’ll get me eliminated, somehow. She’s playing the game like such a major antag… So I’m just trying to focus on winning until the merge,”

“Should we tell Ass?”

“No, we can’t…” Courtney sighs. “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to warn them a little, though. Can I trust you with that?”

McLovin salutes and jogs off. Courtney stretches and walks in the opposite direction a few moments later, just in time for a Lightning-shrouded head to peek out around the corner. 

---

SHA-MOD: “Sha-Mod’s got the Sha-Dirt! And if there’s anything this show has taught me, it’s that blackmail is a winning strategy! Or was it that you should never eat those succulent little red berries you find on trees…?”

---

“Alright, campers! Meet me at the campfire pit for the “deets” on your next challenge! Did I say that right? I feel like the interns keep making up these words, Chef,”

“Chris, the intercom is still on,”

---

The campers sit (or stand) around the campfire pit, looking extremely unenthused. Julia is dressed, but squinting without her glasses. McLovin saunters over and forces himself between Ass and Mal on the grass. 

“Today’s challenge will test your outdoor and/or survival skills,” Chris grins, holding up two packs. “Your only job is to live through a night in the woods. Most- or some- of the things you’ll need are already at your team’s camp site, if you can find it.” He tosses the packs over- Max catches one, and McLovin catches the other before handing it to Courtney. 

“The first team back here tomorrow morning wins. Oh, and watch out for bears… and the killer mutant hornet nests we hid around the island this morning.”

The campers wince. 

---

CAESAR: “Well, I’m not exactly happy to be on the receiving end of these things, but I can’t say I’m not impressed. Chris has style,”

---

The Inane Anons walk at a somewhat steady pace, following Max and Staci as they attempt to read the map. “You know, my great-great-great-great uncle Ferdinand was actually a third member of the Lewis and Clark expedition, but they left his name out of the notes because of the anti-Spanish sentiment back in the 1600s,” 

Max sighs. “Yeah, that’s great. Can you just tell me if we’re heading in the right direction?”

“Nice leading, strawberry shortcake!” Julia yells from behind, standing alongside Michael as if she were a service dog. 

“I don’t want to hear a peep out of you, Helen,” Max snaps, pointing back at her. “You’re about as useful to us right now as a two-legged horse.”

Julia glares in the wrong direction. Michael pauses to grab her head and pull it back around to where Max is standing.

---

Max grins, leaning against the confessional wall, and then pulls a thick pair of glasses out of his blazer. 

---

“Just a few more paces this way,” Courtney says to McLovin, pointing ahead before they turn to the sound of shrill giggles coming from Mal and Ass. Courtney looks at him and he salutes them, jogging backwards until he’s right between the two friends. 

“Hey, Mal, I think I heard Caesar was looking for you,” he says, jabbing his thumb backwards to where Caesar and Bonnie are lagging behind the rest of the group, chatting merrily with each other. 

Mal raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah, he wanted to ask you about that… thing,” 

Ass gives Mal a perplexed look, to which she shrugs and turns to the back of the crowd. As soon as she’s gone, McLovin turns to Ass. “Hey, so, I don’t wanna intrude or anything, but-”

Sha-Mod suddenly pops out of nowhere, wrapping his arms around their shoulders. “What’re we talking about, guys?”

“Oh- um, nothing,” McLovin smiles nervously. 

“Good! Wouldn’t wanna say anything funny without Mal around to hear it, right?” 

---

SHA-MOD: "I keep forgetting who's sha-side I'm on. But I'm pretty sure you're supposed to use blackmail against the people with the secret. ...Right?

---

“Um,” McLovin responds, ducking out from under Sha-Mod. “Right. I should go talk to Courtney about… that thing.”

The Fujoshis step into a clearing where their tent and a small circle of stones is set up on the ground. Courtney smiles triumphantly. “Okay, we have a few hours before sunset, let’s start organizing ourselves,”

“Booooo,” Caesar heckles from the back. Bonnie elbows him with a grin, and Courtney rolls their eyes. 

“Okay, who thinks they can get enough food for everyone?”

“Oh, me! Me! Me and Ass!” Mal jumps as she raises her hand, wrapping her available arm around Ass’ waist. They giggle and Courtney groans. “Okay. You two, and… McLovin, can you go with them?”

“No way, man,” Sha-Mod says, stepping up and leaning his arm on McLovin’s shoulder. “My boy and I already agreed we’re getting the firewood.”

“Okay, then I’ll go with Ass and Mal. Kitty, just stay here and keep the animals away from our supplies. Caesar, Bonnie, you two- where did Caesar and Bonnie go?”

---

“I never was a fan of the outdoors,” Bonnie sighs, kicking a rock across the path. 

“Oh, God, never. I’ll run simulators and collect analytics all day, but camping? In this?” Caesar gestures to his finely-pressed suit. 

“Totally, I get that. Where are we going, again?”

“Craft services tent. I’m not eating raw meat and berries tonight like some kind of cave creature, not while Chris and Chef get to have gourmet food service. Besides, Courtney seems like they have things under control,” 

Bonnie shrugs. “Yeah, they’ve got their own thing going on. They won’t miss us,”

---

“Okay, Staci, Scary and O, go find some firewood, enough for the night. Scruffy, count our supplies and see what else we’ll need. Kelly and Austin, find us something to eat. Michael- go with them and make sure they don’t hurt themselves, please,” Max reads off the tiny notes Chris left on the map. “Frollo and Julia, sit over there and try to be quiet.”

Julia grimaces. “No. No way you’re sticking me with Pope Francis over here,”

Frollo glares, opens his mouth to say something, and is promptly met with a finger in his face. “I don’t even wanna hear it, altar boy!”

“If I let either of you out of sight, you’ll get lost, and I’m not in the mood to arrange a search party for you bozos,” Max says. “Stay here and try to stay alive, please.”

Julia grumbles and walks over to the space between the fire pit and the campfire where Frollo is already sitting with his Bible. 

Staci and O come jogging back, panting and wood-less. 

Max sighs. “I don’t mean to bother you from your afternoon jog, but you guys seem to be missing some firewood,”

O gasps and collapses on the ground, shaking and rocking back and forth. Staci stutters, sputtering for air while waving their arms around. “B-b-b-”

Julia’s eyes widen and they whip their head around. “Bear? Where?”

“Bats!”

“Seriously? Okay, awesome, you found some bats. Where’s our fire fuel?” Max looks around. “And where’s Scary?”

---

Scary sits in a darkened cave, only their eyes visible as he looks around with delight. The camera spins, revealing that she’s hanging upside down, just as a few dozen pairs of massive green eyes open around her. 

“Tee-hee!”

---

“Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me! How hard is it?! How hard is it?!” Max paces back and forth, groaning. “Stupid… ok, who’s going to go get her?”

Everyone looks at each other. O, still on the ground, wriggles away and hides inside the tent. Scruffy whistles and looks up at the sky, Staci steps behind a nearby tree. Frollo coughs.

"Julia, you-"

"Nuh-uh, four-eyes," Julia wags a finger at him. "I'm legally blind, remember?"

“What’s going on here?” Michael asks, leading Austin and Kelly (too busy holding hands and carrying a bundle of fish) back into camp. 

“Minor setback,” Max sighs. “Where’d you get the fish from?”

“The river. There’s a ton of them, probably migration season or something. I just kinda…” Michael gestures, jabbing her hand downward in a grabby motion. “Austin and Kelly just collected a bunch of seashells for jewelry.”

Scruffy raises an eyebrow, their tone a mix of confusion and slight disgust. "You just grabbed them out of the water? With your hands?"

Michael lowers her eyes. "What have you done so far, exactly?"

Max thinks for a moment. 

---

MAX: “There's definitely something wrong with the part of her brain that's supposed to process rational thinking, but at least she's competent.”

---

“Okay, Michael, you’re with me. Scruffy is in charge while we’re gone,”

“What? What’s going on?” 

“We had a little mishap. And by we, I mean tweedle dee and tweedle dum over there,” Max jabs his thumb back to Staci and O, who’re both looking around innocently.

---

“Okay, seriously, how is this so hard?” Courtney huffs. “I’ve been reading survival manuals all semester, and I can’t find anything to eat but tree bark, which is a last resort.”

“I dunno, maybe we just suck at surviving?” Ass chuckles just as Mal comes running back into the clearing, holding up the hem of her shirt. 

“You guys! You guys! Huge berry patch!” she pants, holding up the indented pouch in her top, which they reveal to be full of little red berries. “You gotta come help me carry them!”

Courtney beams, giving Mal a tiny, tiny grateful look before bounding off in the same direction with Ass. Mal smiles slightly, and then walks after them.

---

“That was amazing,” Bonnie sighs, stretching. “Seriously- I’ve never had food so good before.”

“It’s probably just because we’ve grown too accustomed to the slop they serve in this place,” Caesar chuckles as the two walk back to camp. “But that was pretty extraordinary. Those sandwiches? Goodbye to my diet!”

“Ugh, living on this island is a diet,” 

“You can say that again,”

The sun is already setting in the distance, shrouding the landscape in an orange-y hue. They continue down the path, idly talking amongst themselves before suddenly hearing a rustling up ahead. Caesar holds out his arm, stopping Bonnie in their tracks. “Did you hear that?”

“What?”

“I heard something… it sounded big… bear big...”

“If you’re messing with me, Caesar, I swear…”

Suddenly, McLovin and Sha-Mod come running out of the woods, covered in little red bumps and screaming. Caesar and Bonnie look at each other, and then back to them as they disappear in the brush on the other side of the path. Just as they do, a massive swarm of hornets emerge from the forest. 

“Oh, crap,” Bonnie says. “Run?”

Caesar nods. “Run,”

The two set off in the same direction as Sha-Mod and McLovin, bounding through the woods as branches tear at their skin and clothes and the breeze tousles their hair. They catch up with the two former contestants, who are still screaming in sync. 

“What the hell did you idiots do?!” Bonnie shouts. 

McLovin starts. “We were just-”

“Looking for firewood!” Sha-Mod continues. 

“We were both planning on-”

“Sabotaging each other!” They say in unison. 

“But we realized we actually-”

“Have a lot in common!”

“That’s a great Hallmark movie, where do the hornets come in?!” Caesar shouts. 

“We were heading back to camp and I tripped on a log sha-full of 'em!” Sha-Mod shouts back. 

“Look! Up Ahead!”

The end of the island is fastly approaching, a sharp cliff drop into the waters below. McLovin and Sha-Mod hold hands. “Jump on three!”

Bonnie’s eyes widen. “WHAT?!”

“One!”

Caesar holds up a finger. “Wait just a-”

“Two!”

“My- my hair!”

“Three!”

Sha-Mod and McLovin jump into the water, Bonnie following. Caesar hesitates for a moment as the swarm approaches before groaning and jumping, too. 

---

“They said north,”

“We’ve been walking north for hours,”

Max sighs, checking his watch. “Forty-five minutes. Seeing as it’s a cave, it’ll probably be around the mountains, which are just up ahead,”

Michael rolls her eyes and pulls up the hood of her parka. It’s now pitch black outside as the two approach the small mountain range’s base and see a large cave opening up ahead, a bioluminescent green smear above the entrance. 

“That’s the one,”

The two give each other a fleetingly nervous look, but move on without another word. 

“I don’t suppose you brought a flashlight with you?”

The two walk into the cave, dimly light by the fading dusk, and squint into the surrounding darkness before seeing Scary hanging from the ceiling. 

“You! You get down here right this second!” Max hisses, pointing a finger at her. Scary giggles. 

Michael looks around. “Where are the, um, you know… the bats?” 

“Out,” Scary smiles. “It’s night, sillies!”

“We need to go,” Max whisper-shouts. “Get down from there!”

Scary smiles, and then lets their body go limp, falling from the ceiling straight onto Michael and Max, knocking them both out cold. 

---

“What happened to you four?” Mal asks with a small smile. 

Caesar sighs, rolling his eyes and waving off the question as Bonnie continues trying to wring the water out of their thick ponytail. McLovin and Sha-Mod are chuckling, already joking about the ordeal. 

Courtney giggles from the other side of the fire. “Why are your heads all swirly? And why are you green?” 

“I’m seeing new colors, man, new ones,” Ass says, shaking their head.

“Um… what’s going on with Cheech and Chong over here?” Caesar asks. 

“Nothing, they’re just tired,” Mal smiles, patting the ground beside her, inviting everyone to take a seat. “Care for some berries?”

---

“Ugh… What the hell happened?” Michael groans, her eyes opening slowly. “...Scary?”

Max, curled up on her lap like a cat, sighs as he wakes up. “Where are we?”

“We’re still in the cave. I think Scary knocked us out,”

Max stands up and stretches as Michael rubs her eyes. His usual look of annoyance crosses his face and he begins walking out of the cave before Michael can get up. “If we lose, that thing is leaving,”

She places a hand over the bruise on her head. “I can agree with that,”

---

Caesar’s eyes slowly open and he hisses at the harsh glare of the sun, directly overhead. “What the- what happened?”

Courtney sits up next, their eyes red and their face almost gaunt. “What- what time is it?”

“Noon,” Ass says, squinting into the sun. “We’re so totally screwed.”

“God, what was that? I feel like my brain went through the spin cycle on my grandma’s old ass washing machine,” Bonnie stands up, brushing off their hoodie. 

Courtney spots a stray remaining berry on the ground and inspects it. “I don’t think these are raspberries,” 

“What are they?” McLovin asks, rubbing his forehead. “...Blackberries?”

“I have no clue, but if my memory of last night serves correct, they seem to have some hallucinogenic properties,”

Caesar blinks. “You’re saying we were drugged?”

“Not intentionally! Mal didn’t know!” Ass insists, looping their arm with Mal’s, who smiles earnestly and nods. She shoots Sha-Mod a glare.

"Y-yeah, Mal didn't know!" he says.

Mal sighs. “I am so sorry, if I’d known, I never would’ve let Kitty’s advice slide!”

Everyone blinks. Courtney lowers their eyes. “Kitty told you about the berries?”

Mal nods solemnly. “That’s probably why they’re not here… trying to keep us from winning,”

McLovin gives Courtney a glance. 

---

MCLOVIN: “Now, call me crazy, but wasn’t Mal the only person at the campfire last night who wasn’t all “your heads are swirly!”?”

---

“Maybe Kitty's already back at the main camp,” Courtney says, standing. “We still have a chance if we hustle!” 

The team sets off, running back in the direction they remember coming from with Courtney in the lead. McLovin hangs back, running alongside Ass. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“What?” they ask, panting. 

“Listen… I know you two are friends and all, but Mal is bad news. When the rest of us got to camp, she was the only one who was completely sober. I think she… she might be trying to save face by blaming Kitty, you know?”

Ass shakes their head. “Mal wouldn’t do that! I know her!”

“Do you?”

---

“I am going to wring her little emo neck,” Max huffs. Michael is too winded to respond, but points up ahead at the sight of camp. The rest of the Inane Anons, including Scary, are already sitting around the campfire, most looking around nervously. 

Max turns to the side and sees the Fujoshis jogging alongside them, and then grabs Michael’s wrist and drags her along faster. 

Alas, it’s too late- the Fujoshis make it to the campfire and collapse, exhausted, seconds before Max and Michael can. 

“We… we won…” Courtney wheezes. “We won!”

“Erm… not so fast, campers. Looks like you’re missing a teammate,” Chris chuckles. “Lost cat?”

Courtney’s eyes widen. “Oh, sh-”

“Which means the victory goes to the Inane Anons!” 

Max collapses on the ground and coughs as the rest of the team cheers and huddles around each other. Julia’s glasses slip out of Max’s pocket and land on the grass beside Michael, who picks them up. 

Max gives her a look before she frowns at him and walks over to Julia, turning her towards her and setting the glasses on her face. 

“Oh. Oh!” Julia grins, adjusting them. “Where’d you find them?”

“Oh, you know…” Michael hesitates. “They were just out in the woods.”

“Stupid Chris must’ve pulled something,” Julia rolls her eyes before giving Michael a hug. “Thank you!”

---

JULIA: “Do I really believe that? No, definitely not. But I need an ally and, well, to be frank, Michael has always come off as kinda desperate,”

---

“Fujoshis- normally, our campfire ceremony would be a little more dramatic, but seeing as you’re still missing a team member, I feel my creative energy feels a bit dampened,” Chris grins. “Most of you are safe! Sha-Mod, you sic’d the killer hornets on half your team. Mal, you gave everyone hallucinogenic berries- and Kitty, wherever that thing is, gave Mal the berries and then disappeared, costing you the win!”

Everyone frowns deeply aside from Mal, and Ass gives them a small, suspicious look. 

“So, it should come as no surprise that Mal and Sha-Mod are safe,” Chris chuckles. “We’ll send a search team out for Kitty in the morning, after breakfast… or maybe lunch, depending on how I’m feeling.” 

The team grumbles amongst themselves and stands, beginning to walk back to their respective cabins. Ass turns to Mal as she begins to leave. 

“Did you lie?”

Mal stops, but doesn’t turn. 

“Did you tell everyone that it was Kitty’s fault to get them eliminated?”

She rolls her eyes before putting on a small smile, half-turning towards Ass. “Now, why would I do something like that?”

"McLovin said..."

"Don't be stupid," Mal snaps. "Who would you trust? Your best friend, or some string bean?"

Ass doesn't have a response, so they simply look at the ground, rubbing their arm. They look up just in time to frown deeply as Mal walks off. 

---

Somewhere deep in the woods on the island, a derelict, crumbling well sits in the dark. A small giggle comes from within its depths.

[rocketdive]

i cannot find my original weeb ranking post, and recent discoveries have been occupying my brain so i need to dump them in this post

current rankings as of oct 19, 2024 (subject to change as i update this post)

megan thee stallion - 110% would risk catching covid and being a fire hazard if she wanted to take me on an anicon date

nick r (bad omens) - this man is a fucking weeb (affectionate) and that crunchyroll interview is enough proof (also not my weeb ass watching that entire interview)

noah (bad omens) - demoted coz he wasn't caught up with aot

niko (blind channel) - i don't really go here but i have seen enough of this blorbo-in-law to know that this man is a weeb

alpha wolf - specifically lochie and sabian because my weeb radar is (unfortunately) stronger than my gaydar but that 2024 album most certainly contains certified weeb references in some song titles why tf do i know all this weeb shit when i don't watch anime

within destruction - currently lumping them into a group because i don't stalk their individual socials enough but pls see: 1) anime merch 2) more anime merch 3) technically not full weeb but still kinda weeb if y'all seen their drummer's back piece 4) vocalist is def a weeb on main 5) did i mention anime merch 6) also touring TWICE with the band that did the attack on titan themes was also a choice

will ramos (lorna shore) - prefers manga over comic art style? WEEB CONFIRMED (but he didn't show any anime related tattoos during the tattoo tour so he's here in the rankings)

bmth - i feel like someone has some degree of weeb influence but isn't heavy handed in it (cough oli and his animu drop dead shirts cough) but also all the jp game references and also HELLO MR. KOJIMA?????. update 1) nex gen happened

---

[uhhhhhh we are moving into "not (heavily) weeb on main" / "casual anime enjoyer/probably not a true weeb" territory after this]

---

stand atlantic - idk who is a weeb in this band but i'm pretty sure they had a naruto inspired tee at their merch table back before the pandemmy (factoring out their bassist since i don't think he was an official member at that point)

courtney laplante (spiritbox) - has publicly documented weeb references but i also cba to read the article so i'm putting her both here

vinny (miw) - tbh idk enough about his weeb tendencies so he's lower than courtney but he did mention that he likes attack on titan

jolly from bad omens - i don't have solid evidence except that one interview where he got mentioned in passing and i also get euro vkei copy band vibes from his earlier photos

knocked loose - they set off my weebdar but i haven't dug around enough. there is that pic of 2/5ths of the band with piccolo (or was it some other DB character, i can't remember) but i am ranking bryan over nicko unless someone has solid proof that it should be the other way around

turnstile - SOMEONE PUT AJIKAN ON THAT ONE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST but that's all i have for now

-

basically anyone on this list has already set off my weeb radar to some extent (using the term weeb realllllly loosely in some cases)

honorary mention(s) - lupe fiasco

[gaytotaldrama]

everyone's written their own version of "what if duncney DID make out during paintball deer hunter" and here is mine <3

"...You wanna make out?"

Courtney froze, stock-still. One look at the boy before her and she had a front-seat view of his toothy, stupid grin. His eyebrows waggled, smarmy, the disgusting metal rod wiggling up and down against his brow. 

"Do you honestly think," Courtney began, keeping her voice low and level so as not to explode at the entire ridiculous situation. "That I would ever want to kiss you? Especially in a situation like this?!"

Duncan shrugged, expression unchanging. "Hey, you never know. The Princess could have a secret wild side no one knows about. Plus, it'd be great TV. Think of the ratings."

"You sound like Chris," she sneered. "I'm here to win, ok? Not to mack on some gross delinquent."

"Hey, I'm here for the cash, too," Duncan said, and winked. "But I know a pretty girl when I see one. Even if she has a stick up her ass."

"I do not have a stick up my ass," Courtney retorted, and then - "Wait, do you actually think I'm pretty? Or are you just saying that to get ahead in the game?"

"Uh, in case you hadn't noticed, we're on the same team, Miss Priss." He leaned in closer, enough for Courtney to feel his breath fanning out against her face. Shockingly, it didn't smell terrible. "We're here. We're stuck. What else would you suggest to pass the time?"

Courtney closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at him. "Working on trying to get free from each other. Making our way back to camp. Finding someone to help us."

Duncan snorted. "Right. Because anything else would be too fun. God knows we couldn't have that."

She gasped, her eyes fluttering open again. She hardly noticed how near their faces were, how blue Duncan's eyes were, staring into her own. All she could do was splutter, "I'm fun! I'm so fun! People like me! I was a - "

"C.I.T.," he finished for her, glee lacing his tone. "And a boring one at that, obviously."

"Oh, I'll show you boring," Courtney snarled, her competitive edge winning out, and in one swift movement she had the stupid mohawked menace pressed up against the trunk of a tree with her lips on his.

It wasn't like Courtney was a stranger to dating. She'd had a long-term boyfriend through sophomore year, Romesh from Model UN, but things had ended after she'd made a case against the unfair taxing in his UK that was so strong, he burst into tears at the end. Romesh had been fun, but that suited Courtney just fine: if he couldn't keep up with her, she didn't want him.

Still, she'd always liked kissing Romesh. He was a good student, his glasses were super cute, and Mom had liked him because he was Indian like her. They'd had a good run as boyfriend-girlfriend throughout tenth grade. Courtney's prospects were clearly much higher than his. As much as she'd appreciated the innocence of her former first flame, Romesh was too similar to her. Somehow, that had never sat right in Courtney's gut.

But kissing Duncan had her feeling like she'd just stepped off a mammoth rollercoaster. Her stomach was floating somewhere near her chest, her blood was rushing like it had when she'd won that debate meet, all by herself. Duncan was an idiot, he was a criminal, but once Courtney started to kiss him, she didn't know how to stop. When she'd pushed him against the tree, he had made a surprised "oof!" sound, but it was only a matter of milliseconds before he was returning the favor with the same ferocity, fitting his hands around her hips.

When they finally broke apart for air, his blue, blue eyes were blown wide open. "Damn. Ok. Wow. Who'da thunk you'd be so feisty, Princess?"

"Maybe if you weren't such an animal," she seethed, and then his teeth were digging into her lower lip and she was letting it happen. Welcoming it, even, as she welcomed his tongue into her mouth. 

Desperately, she pushed all thoughts of her parents out of her head. They had to be horrified from where they were watching back at home, sitting atop the pristine white sofa cushions. She could only imagine the looks on their faces, as they watched her slobber all over this juvenile delinquent white boy punk.

Somehow, though, she didn't care.

The angle was slightly awkward, due to the antlers, but that didn't stop them. She plunged her hands into his hair, running her fingers over the buzzed sides, digging her nails into the mohawk. In retaliation, he tightened his hold on her waist, somehow pulling her even closer against his body. They were chest to chest, barely staying upright, and Courtney wanted to - she wanted to - she wanted - 

...Wait a minute.

With a loud shriek, she shoved him away from her, wrenching backwards herself. Despite the opposite motions, the damn deer antlers remained stuck as ever.

She had bigger things to worry about.

"I can't believe - you don't seriously think - I'm so not into you, Duncan!" She screwed her eyes shut and mimed puking. "Gross!"

"What the - What the hell happened to the hot babe I was just locking lips with in the middle of the woods?" He was staring at her with total incredulity, his mouth parted, still red and puffy from - DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, COURTNEY REYES!!!

"As if I actually liked any of that!" She retorted, in full grasp-at-as-many-straws-as-possible-before-admitting-defeat mode. "I just felt sorry for you! Surely no one's ever kissed a hairy beast like you before!"

Duncan laughed sarcastically, glaring at her. "You'd be surprised, Princess! It's not my fault you couldn't keep your antlers off me! What, no guy here with a pole up his butt to match yours that you can go all ga-ga over instead?"

"I'm here to win!" Courtney screeched, feeling a bit like a broken record. "And no guy is gonna stop me!"

"Ok, Crazy, if that's what you want, then fine!"

"Fine!"

Unfortunately, it was impossible to storm away from each other due to their current predicament. Even more unfortunate, Courtney found herself really wanting to say screw it and kiss him again.

What was happening to her?!

Chris's announcement over the loudspeakers that the challenge was finished stopped her train of thought before it managed to derail. Whatever had just gone down between her and Duncan, it hadn't been enough to get them caught by any of the hunters - they were both completely paint-free, and couldn't be blamed if the Killer Bass ended up losing.

"I guess we should get back to camp, then," she said stiffly, pointedly not meeting his eyes.

"Guess so." His mouth twisted into yet another devilish grin. "No goodbye kiss before we get goin'?"

"No. As far as anyone's concerned, nothing happened today." Shooting him a scowl, she added, "You got that?"

Duncan held his pinky out, still smirking. But something in the blue of his irises made Courtney feel suddenly breathless. "I promise, Princess."

Somehow, the curl of her finger around his felt even more intimate than the kissing had.

[lakesparkles]

Ants (OC oneshot)

I'm not sure if anyone here is interested but, just in case, I'll share here something I wrote for some of my OCs, Taylor and Daisy :D

They're surely my fav OCs ever, if you want to see more of them, you can check their tags here (or my Instagram that I talk about them all the time)!

The oneshot can be read on this google doc or under the cut:

Ants

.

.

.

Sometimes frustration comes from things that are impossible to change.

Or

Taylor and Daisy look at old photos

---

Daisy's ants always held his gaze. He felt strange. He had seen several ant tanks before, but this one in particular interested him. It hung on the wall of the closet, with a lamp directly overhead, which made it even clearer: the tiny ants never stopped in their tracks, walking through the same tunnels they had dug long ago. He imagined what it would be like for them. How big everything was.

Taylor blinked, breaking out of his trance for just a second. It was enough to make him aware of the lack of attention, realizing his situation as a whole. Until that moment, he hadn't even realized that he was, in fact, in Daisy's room. Even after dating her for so many months, it must've been the third time he had entered there in his life.

"I like ants!" He commented, his eyes still glued to the tank. "There are so many! Can you recognize them one by one?"

He managed to turn around, now looking at his fiancee (he has a fiancee!!). Daisy tilted her head slightly, sulking a little and giving him the terrible impression that she had been talking to him during all this time of distraction. Before he had time to confirm the theory and open his mouth to ask something stupid, Daisy took a few steps forward, getting close to him and the tank.

"Do you see this little one here?" She pointed to a farther one and Taylor leaned his body forward, nodding. "I call her Courtney! She's kind of a loner, but she works just as hard as the others... Maybe even harder! She is one of my favorites."

Taylor perked up, the tip of his tail starting to wag as he pointed at another specific ant:

"And this one? What is its name?"

"Oh, that's Clarita!"

"HOW DO YOU DO IT!?" Now the tail was completely wagging. "They're so similar... And there are so many! Is it serious that you recognize each one?"

"Of course not, silly! I was kidding... Taylor, were you paying attention to what I said?"

The dog straightened his posture, lowering his head, a little embarrassed. Not just for the last conversation, but the way Daisy called him. To her, he could be "nugget", "sweetheart", "strawberry cupcake", "furball" or anything else that popped into her head. He was only called "Taylor" if Daisy was being extremely serious.

"Maybe the ants distracted me..."

At least Daisy didn't look offended, laughing and making him feel lighter. Without saying a word, she moved even closer to him, only to smack his butt (to be fair, she had rubbed his butt more than anything, but you wouldn't hear any complaints from him about that).

"Stop being lazy!" She exclaimed. "We have a lot to do!"

That command was the equivalent of turning Taylor's brain on, which automatically felt more focused. He turned around, starting to survey the room at large. Just like his house, the rooms there were not very spacious, although comfortable. The walls were cream and… unfortunately, it didn't even look like Daisy's room. It had some furniture, ants and that's all. No decorations or anything to make it livable beyond the basics.

He remembered how Daisy had commented that she liked his bedroom and how everything in there reminded her of himself. Also how, little by little, it became less his place and more of both of them. Daisy bought some plants to decorate, as well as fairy lights. She left her clothes hanging on the hanger, right next to his. The floor was always covered with a toy or more from the pups and, even though most of it was still his own stuff... his house seemed infinitely more like Daisy's home than that empty room.

That warmed his heart and only then did he realize he had gotten distracted again, looking at the ants, wagging his tail and laughing like crazy.

"Ants make you so happy, don't they?" Daisy implied from the other corner of the room, where she analyzed her remaining clothes inside the wardrobe.

"We're moving in together!" He ignored the question, smiling towards her. "It's sinking in now!"

"Look, we kind of already lived together" Daisy stopped looking at the clothes for a moment. "I'm just going to sleep at your place every day, but the puppies will still stay here from time to time and...

"That's like, 90% living together!"

"Right, right! So let's go before my grandmother arrives."

Taylor nodded vaguely, as he often did when Daisy spoke. Seconds later, he realized he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing in the first place.

Focus, Taylor, focus!

Daisy had told him that they should just gather her remaining things to take to her house and... It shouldn't be that difficult.

Except that everything there seemed so boring and lifeless. It wasn't like he was judging his fiancee, it was more thinking how nothing there must matter much to her. However, he started pacing and looking around, hoping that Daisy would think he had something useful running through his brain.

He ended up facing the cabinet next to the bed, kneeling down to reach the drawers. Above him was just a small framed picture, which seemed incredible compared to everything else. Taylor guessed it was a photo from a couple of years ago, considering how small the four puppies were. None of them looked at the camera, being around Daisy, who opened a nervous smile.

Taylor couldn't help but laugh softly, holding the end of the frame until he lowered it and brought it closer to him. This would certainly go to their house.

Finally opening the first drawer, he was surprised by the amount of stuff there. It was as if everything that was supposed to be in the rest of the room had been concentrated in that tiny, cramped space.

"Ahhhh, there's a lot of stuff in the drawer!" He spoke aloud, a little confused about what was important or not.

"Most is just crap, but see if you can find something."

Yeah, he didn't want to do that, his whole body already being taken over by laziness before he even started. But that was what he was there for, wasn't it? Half the reason, because he figured supporting his fiancee emotionally was just as much the reason for that. Daisy never felt right being there or seeing old things, although she seemed relaxed now. She still looked from outfit to outfit, even pulling on some pants or coats and grumbling when she realized they didn't even fit anymore. Taylor could spend the rest of the day watching her do it, his mind amused to note how the best clothes were already at his house (where they really mattered), and that he could buy her lots of new ones.

But now he had a job to do!

Still with great reluctance, he put his paws in the drawer, almost digging through all the junk. There were old diaries. Old bills. Old notes. Even old cell phones! And nothing that seemed to pay off, Daisy certainly didn't lie.

The first thing that interested him was a pink watch in the shape of a cat (with ears and a small face drawn). It had no batteries and obviously didn't work, but he remembered Daisy telling him about such an object once: she had accidentally taken it in her suitcase, as it belonged to her old college roommate, Claudia. The siamese cat didn't mind it so much, and now the watch was Daisy's, as a keepsake.

He put the watch together with the picture frame.

And it was just thinking about Claudia that another interesting thing appeared. It was an envelope already opened once before, with a small message written by the same cat, along with her address.

Curiosity got the better of him for a moment, almost feeling bad for snooping through her things… But it wasn't as if that wasn't exactly what Daisy had asked him to do. Then, without thinking too much further, he spilled the entire contents of the envelope onto one of his paws.

"What photos are these?" he asked, almost shouting, realizing what it was about.

"What pictures!?" Daisy nearly tripped over the jeans she was pulling off her legs, walking towards him. "Oh, those. They're from college, Claudia sent me a few weeks ago."

"Oh, yes? Why didn't you show me?" He made a point of moving his tail to the ground and smiling, fearing that, otherwise, his curiosity would be mistaken for accusation.

"I was going to, but I forgot."

Taylor wasn't entirely convinced though, he didn't want to dwell on something the other didn't want to talk about. What's more, she crouched down on his side, as if she wanted to see the pictures too.

More cheered up, he turned his attention to the pile he held. The first image was a simple selfie between the two. Claudia showed her sharp canines in a wide smile, hugging Daisy (who was smiling too!!) with the arm that wasn't holding the camera. The two seemed to be sitting on a bed, almost at night.

It was so natural and cute and…real? He hadn't seen pictures like that of Daisy before... In fact, most of the pictures he had of her were taken by himself. It made him more excited for the rest.

Not all of them had Daisy, whether they were part of the college campus or other animals that Taylor didn't know about. One was the theater stage.

"Wow, I look terrible in this one," Daisy commented when he moved on to the next one, which was a group photo. There were a dozen different people there, his eyes going from Daisy to a big gray wolf in the far left corner, dressed in the typical green college coat.

Taylor lowered his ears even more, feeling a mixture of feelings that made his body paralyze for a few seconds.

With his heart starting to race, he realized it was the first time he'd seen Ralph in his life. He was so much friendlier than he'd imagined, his rectangular glasses making his muzzle and smile almost look cute.

He didn't like it, starting to feel weird. Daisy shivered beside him, but said nothing.

She let Taylor to do this job:

"Are you crazy!? Terrible where? This dress shirt did wonders for your body!"

Daisy laughed lightly, returning to the good mood of seconds ago:

"Come on, look at my face there!"

"Extremely adorable! Like... Obviously they took the picture at the moment you would blink, but that doesn't take away from the fact that-"

He was interrupted in mid-sentence when Daisy dragged her body even closer to him until she could lay her cheek against his shoulder. Now she was close enough that her scent was the only thing Taylor could smell, and that motivated him to change the photo.

Most were about her and Claudia, with them visiting somewhere in town or having coffee near campus. Daisy seemed excited to review the moments, despite always finding a flaw for every possible photo. In fairness, Taylor soon understood the insecurity: She would surreptitiously ask for compliments and oh, he was more than ready to give that kind of attention! He commented on her different clothes and hairstyles, as well as her fur appearing shorter than usual. The more she talked about the details, the more he noticed how different Daisy was back then. Even though she looked relatively the same, she had dark circles under her eyes and appeared to be constantly tired. Not that the Daisy of now wasn't too. It was just… different, somehow.

Taylor's heart raced again as he changed photos, his mouth almost agape.

Nothing could have prepared him to suddenly feel so much.

Daisy pulled away from his shoulder as soon as he turned to face her with the biggest smile he could muster, his tail thumping the floor like a drum.

"How many months were you?'

"I think about five..."

"Only that?? But your belly is already huge!"

"Yours would be too if you had four creatures inside you!"

Taylor barely heard the answer, his eyes glued to the photo. The Daisy over there looked kind of uncomfortable, and according to the Daisy next to him who kept talking (you should have been paying more attention, Taylor), it was because it took Claudia a long time to convince her to take that one off. Daisy apparently didn't like pictures very much, but Taylor loved them... even more when they were of his fiancee.

His brain and heart still hadn't calmed down. It was one thing to have the notion that Daisy had been pregnant once. It was quite another to actually see it. The penny was usually slow to sink in for Taylor. He knew things, however, his brain didn't process them as something real. He didn't even fully understand that they're going to get married soon!

So that photo made the pregnancy real.

He felt so excited and passionate, in a way that was even difficult for him to understand and express.

He felt equally sad too.

"I found my new favorite picture." Ignoring that last part, he gave Daisy's cheek a quick lick.

"Are you sure? I would choose the next one if I were you."

At an insanely fast speed, he switched the photo on his paw.

"Oh no..." He whispered, his voice almost breaking from the sudden urge for his eyes to water. Daisy laughed beside him.

"I imagined you'd like this one~"

He might be being dramatic, but Taylor was pretty sure he would actually cry if he said a word. Instead, he continued analyzing every little detail of the image. The Daisy over there was smiling even more tiredly, her ears flat and fur ruffled. It made sense, judging by how she was on a maternity bed.

However, the part he couldn't stop staring at was the four fur balls on her lap. He was so used to seeing the wolves agitated and overgrown that he could barely make them out here. They all still had their eyes closed and fur much darker, with small, flat ears. Gabriel (was that Gabriel? Yes, yes) was yawning, huddled for warmth among his siblings.

"Daisy...." After much effort, it was all that came out of Taylor's mouth.

"That's why it took me a while to show you, I knew you would act like this!" There was no rancor in her voice, quite the contrary. She ran her hand down his back, her smile still plastered to her face.

"You never told me about the day they were born."

"No?"

"No."

Daisy grunted softly, shrugging.

"Errr.... It's not a very nice story, y'know? I think it's for the best if you imagine it any way you want."

Taylor's eyes returned to the photo:

"I'd like to hear it, if you want to tell me.'

"All right... Look, you know how pregnancy between herbivores and carnivores works. It's like any other species, but twice as bad. They were planned to be born in December and.. This photo was taken in September."

"What happened?" Taylor was already worried.

"Briefly? I almost died. They almost died. But everything worked out, so this picture exists."

"Daisy, I didn't... I had no idea..."

"Great! It's not something I like to remember either, you know?" She laughed awkwardly to lighten the moment.

Taylor's throat was dry. That didn't stop him from continuing:

"I don't even know what I would do if I were there!"

Yeah, saying it out loud only made him sadder. Dumb dog!

"You would go from the maternity ward straight to the hospital, that's it! Not to make it worse, but I barely got to see them at first.... Or spend the nights in the maternity ward. They were so small and fragile and.... They had to stay in the incubator for a long time before they gained weight. I remember not being able to sleep well at night, Claudia needed to keep calming me down" Her laugh sounded even faker now, but she relaxed when Taylor wrapped her in a half hug.

What he would say would make him very sad, just like a few seconds ago. He knew it would. But he let the words out anyway:

"I so wish I had met you before" he paused to swallow hard "I would give anything .... everything .... to have seen you pregnant and gone through all this with you."

The hurt look Daisy gave him caught him off guard, as he thought he was saying something nice. He quickly analyzed his own words, realizing the mistake with despair:

"No no! Not because of that! Jeez, Daisy, I don't care 1% that they're not mine... I mean, they're mine! That's what I mean. I wouldn't change that part, I just would.... Oh, I don't know what I'm talking about, sorry!"

Daisy didn't look angry, thankfully. She buried her head in his neck, placing a small kiss on that same region:

"I wish you were there too. Everything would have been so much easier... I thought I liked being alone. I still like it! But it's also good not to be..."

From the tone she spoke, Taylor understood that she had just confessed to something big. Something she now trusted him well enough to know. Nothing seemed fairer than compensating for it by confessing something too:

"These two photos will definitely stay in our room! I loved it so much... But... Would it be selfish to say that they also make me feel bad for not being there?"

"This was not your fault!"

"Yeah, but it frustrates me anyway! Like I said, this has nothing to do with me not being their biological father! It doesn't change anything at all, but I can't stop thinking about how I missed their first two years of life... I wish I had met you when you were pregnant... Or whatever."

"Hey, it doesn't matter! We're together now, aren't we?"

"Yes... Yes, it's stupid, sorry" He turned his head to the side, not wanting her to see the expression that was on his face.

"It's not stupid!" Daisy sighed, pulling away from him. "Don't you think I would rather not have gone through all that shit alone and end up here again? Damn, I... I think I'm taking it out on you... It's not you I'm mad at, okay?

Taylor nodded, sighing at the turn the conversation had taken.

"On second thought, maybe it was for the best that I wasn't there" Then he shrugged, recovering the energy and good mood he didn't even have at the moment. "It's like you said, I don't even know if I could be there without stopping at the hospital. If this picture almost made me cry, imagine that!"

"Oh, you're right," Daisy laughed, giving him a very light punch. "I admit that I cried as well..."

"They were so little, love! Tiny little fur balls! Did you want me to hold you and not feel all the love in the world?"

"You would certainly have worried throughout the pregnancy, thinking it was wrong even when I walked and stuffing myself with blankets. And with the puppies then? You would be those overprotective parents who would be afraid to hold them."

"Don't you think I'm an overprotective father these days?"

"There's nothing that I can think of more, are you kidding!? And they even talk already."

Taylor's cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

This time, the penny dropped fast.

Such would never happen. He and Daisy couldn't have babies on their own.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

"All the photos go to my house!" He exclaimed, concluding.

"Okay, I found some clothes, that should be it."

Nodding, he tucked the photos back into the envelope, carrying it under his arm along with the watch and frame.

He was at the door, just waiting for Daisy, when he noticed that she wasn't moving. It was her turn to stop in front of the tank, her attention held by the ants:

"One thing is missing."

"Are Coutney, Clarita and the rest going too?" He couldn't help but wag his tail. "Oh, our relationship is serious-serious!"

Daisy smiled as she reached for something to unscrew the tank from the wall. This time, she didn't even try to deny it:

"It's serious-serious."

[zombiebcit]

danielle rose russell. 21. agender. they / them. ― i see you meet HARLOW DIXON, huh? they are around for… well, it will be 4 YEARS, now. time flies when you are busy and as part of THE HUNTERS, they are. if you want to meet them, they live in B1A2D, i think. people say they are LOYAL + DETERMINED, but don’t piss them off, okay? because they can be also SARCASTIC + VINDICTIVE, so be safe.

BASIC INFO

⸻ FULL NAME: harlow shepard dixon

⸻ AGE: 21

⸻ GENDER: agender

⸻ PRONOUNS: they / them

⸻ ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: panromantic

⸻ SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

⸻ SCARS / TATTOOS: small scar on their lower lip going down to chin, four on their ribs on right side, one on the left side of their neck, going down to cleavage;

⸻ OCCUPATION: before: kid ; now: hunter ;

⸻ FAMILY: william & alice shepard ( bio parents, deceased ) , open wc ( adpotive parent post-apocalypse ) , unknow name older half-brother ( status unknown ) ;

⸻ PLAYLIST: all eyes on you by smash into pieces ; medicine by hollywood undead ; haunted by laura les ; bludlust by daegho ; ditch by empara mi ; wait a minute! by willow ; nobody's listening by linkin park ; therefore i am by billie eilish ; she calls me daddy by king mala ; far from home by san tinnesz ; can't go to hell by sin shake sin ; cheers by sleeping with sirens ; kicks by barns courtney ;

⸻ INSPO: ellie williams ( the last of us ) , jill valentine ( resient evil ) , purple!hawke ( dragon age 2 ) , leliana ( dragon age ) , kasumi goto ( mass effect ) , leia organa ( star wars ) , kylo ren ( star wars ) ;

STORY

when william shepard meet alice, he was still married to his first wife. it did not stop him from pursuing her, which ended in alice's pregnancy... and an end to william's marriage.

william still kept contact with his first child, a son around 16 years old, when harlow was born. he also married alice few weeks before the birth ;

harlow was growing up as rather sneaky child, quiet most of time. alice and william relationship was not happy nor calm ; the spark disappear under new child, child support and trying to find commond ground other than sleeping together ;

all harlow remember of their bio parents are screams and fights and how they tried to attack them when the apocalypse happened ;

that's how they meet their later-adoptive parent - while running from zombies with their bio parents' faces ;

... more tba

WANTED CONNECTIONS

⸻ 01. ' 𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙽𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙵 𝚆𝙾𝙼𝙱 '

adoptive parent. ( main wc ) open. this person rescued harlow when she was 9 at the start of apocalypse, took her under their wings and in time, they become the parent + child duo. their last name can be dixon if you want, i’m open to harlow taking their name at some point. they are pretty close, but i’m open to ideas.

⸻ 02. ' 𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝚁𝙴 𝙸𝚃, 𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝚁𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽 '

platonic soulmates / can be roommate. open. they are it, the ultimate ride or die. they meet after harlow came to the domus spei & they hit off fast. for a moment, people thought they are romantically involved because how close they are, but no, that's not the case. cuddles, cheek/forehead kisses and 'i love you's are always present in their relationship. they might seems like opposities, but there is no doubt that if this muse is doing stupid (tm), harlow is right here to help.

⸻ 03. ' 𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙱𝙰𝙳 𝚅𝙸𝙱𝙴𝚂 𝙱𝚁𝙾 '

nemesis / arch-enemy. open. they just don't click. maybe they got into fight when harlow was the new kid, maybe it as just misunderstanding, idk, they just don't like each other. will have each other back outside the walls, but inside? this is a war. maybe prank war, but something like this.

[aradiamaxxing]

Admins

copied these posts from a 4chan thread where I detailed my extensive thoughts on the middle management of pokemon’s various evil teams. thought people here would enjoy it.

The Galactic Commanders are, in my opinion, the gold standard for evil admins. They've got it all: immediately striking and memorable designs, strong personalities, memorable fights, even a unique battle theme. They also further the separation between Cyrus and the rest of Team Galactic. Cyrus wants to eliminate spirit, but the Commanders are all very lively and emotional. Saturn even says he disagrees with Cyrus and was just along for the ride. Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn are all a joy to behold and it's a shame BDSP didn't give them a touch-up the way HGSS and ORAS did for their respective admins. And Charon's there. I guess. Kind of odd to add a character who does practically nothing until the postgame and is marginally less interesting than the team's previous leader. 

Speaking of HGSS, the Rocket Executives had the biggest upgrade between versions. In GSC these guys didn't even have names! And I think they did a fine job of slotting their new characters into the available roles. They're different but all very distinctly Rocket-esque, be it Proton's ruthlessness and aggression or Petrel's "nice guy" attitude that reflects all the goofy and self-sabotaging antics of Grunts. The only real stinker here is Archer, who battles you once with a lackluster team and then never appears again. Also, the story of HGSS is pretty uninvolved in general, which kneecaps their screentime. It's a shame, but the Executives are at their most memorable when Gamefreak puts them in Kanto remakes. 

A lot of people don't like the ORAS versions of Team Magma and Aqua, and I honestly don't understand why. The teams from the original RSE were nothing. They were non-characters. The admins specifically were interchangeable between the two versions. Between the two revamped teams, I prefer Magma. Of course, I prefer Magma in any case, but something about them just seems to fit the story of ORAS more. Maybe it's because Omega Ruby was my version of choice but I find Courtney threatening to blow up a rocket and "complete project AZOTH" more believable than Matt doing the same. Probably because they were cribbing the event in Emerald where Team Magma raids the space center, and also because Courtney is autistic. I will give the originals one thing: the designs of the admins not named Matt was a lot better. Come to think of it, I'm not fond of Matt's new design either. I think it's the awkward battle art showing him from a lower angle than the grunts. Also, does this fucker have a beard in Gen 3 or not? I genuinely can't tell. I've rambled for a paragraph about two of the four admins so I may as well keep going. I like new Tabitha. He's got little touches that let you know what kind of work he does and what kind of organization Team Magma is. He's a pencil-pusher in a gang far more organized and professional than Team Aqua, which fits the respective personalities of the leaders. Gen 3 Magma was a gang of thugs with a cause, and they didn't have Aqua's excuse of being pirates so the whole deal was a little weak. It also makes sense that the group who wants to further humanity's devlopment run themselves like a company. And, uh, Shelly. Like I said, I never played Alpha Sapphire so I can't comment on how she was executed. At times I wish I had, though. You see, I like the color blue. And Alpha Sapphire has a lot more blue in it than Omega Ruby, for obvious reasons. I liked her in the Generations short, but that’s about all I can say.

The only thing sadder than how little Rood, Zinzolin, Gorm, Bronius, Giallo, and Ryoku do during BW, is how I can remember all of their names without looking it up. I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but Team Plasma has a glut of characters who don't do anything. And it's more noticeable than usual because BW was very good about giving its characters time to shine outside of their usual roles. I can somewhat understand why they added all of this stuff in. Team Plasma's not so much an evil team in BW as they are a proper social movement. You could even call them a secret society. I can excuse the sages for that, and I can excuse them not battling because they're supposed to be the thinkers and philosophers of the group. The ones who exemplify Plasma's ideals. They're vastly underused, but they make sense. What I can not excuse are the Shadow Triad. They do NOTHING throughout BW. They show up in cutscenes, say some words, and then disappear. They shouldn't have even been in the game. The most impact the triad have on the plot is whisking you across a bridge you were gonna cross anyway. BW2 Tightens up the ranks of Team Plasma significantly, cutting all but Rood and Zinzolin and giving the Shadow Triad something to do. But even they couldn't save Anthea and Concordia, names I also remember without looking them up. Man, what do I even say about these two. They exist. That's about it. I would've cut the triad from BW and given their scenes to these two, because god knows they need it. Team Plasma has the same problem as the Rocket Executives: too many characters fighting for too little screentime. Except unlike the Executives, who were split somewhat evenly, it's always N and Ghetsis who win the battles for relevance.

Team Flare's Scientists are the last ones I can be assed to talk about. They suck. I can't remember their names, except I know the blue on is Mable because that struck me as a relatively normal name compared to the others. Also two of them are Celosia and Bryony., but I couldn't tell you who. Then there's Xerosic, who suffers from Archer syndrome but at least has a somewhat interesting ace in Malamar. The others don't even have that. He's also got a postgame quest, but I played that one time 6 years ago and I'm not doing it again. Not helping, of course, is that you don't start seeing them until halfway through the game. You won't see any of them until both of your starters and likely the rest of your team is fully evolved, because XY's pacing and level curve is fucked. And its distribution. I've had my full team assembled before the 4th gym one time. I don't believe any of the broads have ever done science. But at least their music's cool.

[la-principessa-nuova]

I don’t get why the responses here to this video are so hostile given how little they got wrong as far as I can tell. Like obviously they should have had someone taking feminizing HRT involved in writing the bits about it, but unless I’m missing something, none of the misinformation is that bad? Like it’s no worse than what’s on the informed consent forms.

The things I’ve seen pointed out or noticed:

They said “Providers will usually add an androgen blocker”, and that estrogen, “won’t take [testosterone levels] all the way down to where a cis woman would be.” The mistake here is that at higher doses, estrogen can take testosterone down that much. They should have said something like “estrogen might not take testosterone levels all the way down to where a cis woman would be, depending on the dose prescribed and how the patient’s body processes it” or something like that.

When speaking about androgen blockers, they said, “The most commonly used option is Spironolactone, though providers may also recommend Finasteride or Dutasteride.” This is actually true (some people have expressed surprise at this being called out since that’s what they were prescribed), because some providers do prescribe those instead of spiro, even though they don’t technically block testosterone, just conversion into DHT. But they probably should have mentioned this common misconception and it was implied that they are antiandrogens by where it was said in the video.

One of the decorative diagrams was for the wrong form of the drug. Nobody got misinformation from that who didn’t already know what the drug was, and it was decorative, so that’s not a big deal.

There were a couple things like progesterone’s effect on breast growth where they said the evidence was “not great” which made it maybe sound like evidence points against it, when really it’s all just very under-researched since most research focuses on issues HRT can cause rather than on getting the best results. And in the case of breast growth on progesterone, somebody said in the comments that a lot of the anecdotal evidence suggests that it helps with breast rounding, whereas the research used band measurement, as an example of how this might be less disproven than they make it sound.

I noticed that they say bone changes are a myth, whereas no research has been done on a long enough time scale to say that, and I remember hearing things about slight changes to bones over the change of many, many years. So I get the point they’re trying to make, but they shouldn’t have said it’s a myth, because that implies that it has been proven 100% false.

They quote a source that says that you can use androgen blockers without estrogen. This is probably the most possibly problematic thing because someone who gets ahold of an anti androgen without E could cause some serious issues. But also people do actually do that. So it really is an example of something that people do who want some effects but not others, especially if they’re just lowering their testosterone somewhat. They should have explained this further to make it clear that completely removing testosterone and not introducing estrogen can cause major problems.

I’m sure there’s more, but I feel like I feel like I must be missing the main thing they got wrong that everybody’s so worked up about?

To speak to the criticism of no trans women being involved, it sounds like it was written by one transmasc person, Alex, which is a bit different than if we assume a team of 30 writers has no trans women on it. I’d really only expect maybe someone to be consulted about it rather than be brought in as a cowriter (although I think that would be nice for this video in particular). And we don’t really know who Alex reached out to so it could just be that the trans women they talked to didn’t know these things rather than not reaching out.

According to the credits, there was one fact checker involved, Courtney, who doesn’t seem to be a public-facing team member, so I have no information about their gender, pronouns, or experience with HRT, beyond their name being Courtney which is typically a woman’s name. So maybe the fact checker is on feminizing HRT, maybe not.

But also all the misconceptions are things that are well-known to be false within our community but the scientific literature says otherwise or has no information on it, and their internal processes are going to rely on fact checking against published research rather than against anecdotal sources. The problem here is how bad the published research on this topic is.

But, like, I think what really happened here is that we know a lot about something, so collectively we find a bunch of problems, just like anyone does when they watch a YouTube video about something they know a lot about, and in this case it was a much less overall experienced team since they wanted everyone involved to be trans. (For instance, the writer of the video, Alex, I see is listed as a Script Editor on Complexly’s website, rather than as a writer, implying this was probably their first time as the main writer on a script, or at least they don’t have a ton of scripts under their belt).

So like, I think that a small team of trans people just tried to make a video about HRT and made a couple minor mistakes but otherwise did fine?

And a bunch of people read a post on Tumblr about it and assumed the worst without putting any effort into confirming it. Like there’s people on here saying stuff like, “and it was probably written by AI”. How many of the people responding actually would have done better if they wrote this video? At some point it stops being about holding SciShow accountable for not getting more input from people taking feminizing HRT on this and just becomes bullying the one trans person who wrote this.

Either way, what I’ve found so far is that the video set out to describe what HRT currently looks like and successfully did so, but they did not call out a couple things where doctors are currently doing things wrong.

well this is either going to be good or bad