#low-calorie beer

[kajalsawant434]

Low-Calorie Beer Market: Current Trends and Growth Prospects

Introduction

The global beer industry has undergone significant transformations over the years, with consumer preferences shifting towards healthier and more conscious consumption choices. One of the fastest-growing segments within the alcoholic beverage industry is the low-calorie beer market. As health and wellness trends continue to influence consumer behavior, breweries worldwide are responding with innovative offerings to cater to the demand for lighter, lower-calorie alternatives. This article explores the current trends shaping the low-calorie beer market and examines its growth prospects in the coming years.

Rising Demand for Health-Conscious Beverages

Consumers are becoming increasingly aware of the impact of excessive calorie consumption on their health. With growing concerns over obesity, diabetes, and other lifestyle-related diseases, many individuals are actively seeking healthier alternatives in their diets, including alcoholic beverages. Low-calorie beers offer a compelling solution, allowing consumers to enjoy their favorite drinks without compromising on their health goals.

Additionally, the rise of fitness culture and the increasing popularity of dietary trends such as keto and intermittent fasting have further fueled the demand for low-calorie beers. Many consumers who previously avoided beer due to its high-caloric content are now more open to trying lighter alternatives.

Expansion of Product Offerings

Major breweries and craft beer companies have recognized the market potential of low-calorie beers and are continuously expanding their product portfolios to cater to evolving consumer preferences. Traditional beer giants like Anheuser-Busch, Molson Coors, and Heineken have introduced lighter beer options, such as Bud Light, Michelob Ultra, and Amstel Light. Additionally, craft breweries are also entering the space by developing innovative, flavorful, and low-calorie beer variants that appeal to both casual drinkers and beer enthusiasts.

To differentiate their offerings, breweries are focusing on unique brewing techniques and ingredients that maintain taste and quality while reducing calorie content. Many brands are now leveraging low-carb formulations and natural ingredients, aligning their products with the growing demand for clean-label beverages.

Technological Advancements in Brewing

Advancements in brewing technology have played a pivotal role in the development of low-calorie beers. Techniques such as enzymatic brewing, which helps break down complex carbohydrates to reduce calorie content, and the use of alternative grains, such as rice and maize, have enabled brewers to create lighter beers without compromising on taste.

Moreover, the use of artificial intelligence and data analytics in the brewing industry has facilitated the optimization of brewing processes. By analyzing consumer preferences and taste profiles, breweries can fine-tune their recipes to create low-calorie beers that meet customer expectations.

Marketing Strategies and Consumer Engagement

Marketing strategies have also evolved to accommodate the low-calorie beer trend. Breweries are increasingly emphasizing health benefits, low-carb content, and active lifestyle associations in their promotional campaigns. Many brands collaborate with fitness influencers, athletes, and celebrities to market their products as the ideal beverage for health-conscious consumers.

Social media has emerged as a powerful tool for engaging with younger demographics, who are more inclined towards healthier consumption choices. Digital marketing campaigns highlighting the advantages of low-calorie beers, along with influencer endorsements and interactive promotions, have been instrumental in driving consumer interest and sales.

Regional Growth Trends

The demand for low-calorie beers is rising globally, with notable growth in North America, Europe, and Asia-Pacific.

North America: The U.S. has been a frontrunner in the low-calorie beer movement, with a strong presence of health-conscious consumers and a well-established beer culture. Brands like Michelob Ultra and Bud Light have successfully captured a significant share of this segment.

Europe: European consumers are becoming increasingly health-aware, leading to higher demand for low-calorie and low-alcohol beers. Countries like the UK, Germany, and Spain have seen a surge in low-calorie beer offerings from both mainstream and craft breweries.

Asia-Pacific: Emerging markets such as China, Japan, and India are witnessing a growing preference for low-calorie beers due to rising disposable incomes and increasing health awareness. Major global brands are expanding their presence in these regions, introducing lighter beer options to cater to local tastes.

Challenges and Future Opportunities

Despite the promising growth, the low-calorie beer market faces challenges, including consumer perceptions of taste quality and higher production costs. Many beer drinkers still associate lighter beers with weaker flavors, which can be a deterrent to widespread adoption. Breweries need to continue innovating and improving formulations to ensure that low-calorie beers provide a satisfying drinking experience.

Moreover, regulatory challenges and labeling requirements vary across different markets, which can impact product positioning and marketing strategies. However, as governments push for healthier consumption choices, supportive policies and incentives for low-calorie alcoholic beverages may help drive further growth.

Looking ahead, the low-calorie beer market is expected to expand as consumer preferences evolve and innovation continues. The integration of functional ingredients, such as probiotics and vitamins, into low-calorie beer formulations could open new opportunities for brands to appeal to health-conscious consumers. Additionally, sustainability and eco-friendly brewing practices will likely play a more significant role in influencing consumer choices in the coming years.

Conclusion

The low-calorie beer market is poised for significant growth, driven by changing consumer preferences, technological advancements, and strategic marketing efforts. As more consumers prioritize health and wellness, the demand for lighter beer options will continue to rise. Breweries that embrace innovation and cater to the evolving needs of their customers will be well-positioned to capitalize on this expanding market segment. With a bright future ahead, the low-calorie beer industry is set to redefine the beer landscape, offering refreshing and healthier choices for consumers worldwide.

[lavistamexicanrestaurantbar]

[haggishlyhagging]

Women were also regularly employed in brewing, at least as much as men. Medieval peasants drank rather a lot of small (or low-alcohol) beer and ale. In the tenth-century Alfric's Colloguy, which records theoretical dialogues between a teacher and his students, one young man states, "I drink ale, usually, if I drink at all, and water if I have no ale. . . . I am not rich enough to be able to buy myself wine: Wine is not a drink for boys or fools but for old men and wise men." By the late medieval period, in brewing centers such as České Budejovice, from whence the name Budweiser comes, beer was being made on a large enough scale that it was being exported to Bavaria.

Medieval people desired to drink beer and ale not because water was unsafe, but because farmwork is extremely hard. Small beer and ale added additional calories to their daily uptake in an enjoyable way. Although the wealthy were probably able to procure professionally made and imported beers, most people, especially in the earlier medieval period, made their own ale or bought it from nearby producers. Ale was brewed primarily from barley and did not include the hops of beer, which meant it could not be stored for long before going off. As such, those who wanted ale had to be constantly brewing it to ensure a steady supply, making brewing a very common cottage industry. Women who brewed for their families would often brew excess for sale, allowing them to bring in a bit of money. Because brewing was a craft that could be learned at home, women could be employed as brewers in larger commercial breweries.

We find women in the brewing trade consistently: records show them paying taxes on their gains from brewing, and registering with the authorities who oversaw standards. When someone performed below these standards, they were frequently written up, so we can find the women who were not meeting them. The Durham Court Rolls from 1365 record that Agnes Postell and Alice de Belasis were fined twelve denarii for selling bad ale, about the equivalent of two days' work for a skilled craftsman. Similarly Alice de Belasis was separately fined two shillings, or the equivalent of five days wages, for poor-quality ale, which a court proved had no strength at all. Punishments for brewing bad ale could range from fines to ritualized humiliation. In England, the Domesday Book first recorded the use of the cucking stool (which would become the ducking stool in the early modern period) in Chester to punish those who sold bad ale or ale in incorrect measures. They would be forced to sit in a chair out side their home and be jeered at by locals. Fourteenth-century Scottish laws noted that any alewife who made "evil ale" was either fined "eight shillings" or placed in the cucking stool, a nod to women as the primary brewers in the region who could face the largely gendered humiliation as a result.

We also learn of women in the brewing profession through records of accidents. For example, one coroner's roll indicates that at around noon on October 2, 1270, Amice Belamy was carrying a tub full of gruit, an agent for flavoring ale, with Sibyl Bonchevaler at her work in Lady Juliana de Beauchamp's brewhouse in Staple, Eaton Socon. As they went to dump the gruit into the boiling vat of beer, Amice slipped and fell into it and was trapped by the tub that fell on top of her. "Sibyl immediately jumped towards her, dragged her from the vat and shouted; the household came and found her scalded almost to death. She was given the last rites of the church and died on the day following. This harrowing story reminds us what a physically tasking and dangerous job brewing, especially in large quantities, could be.

This episode is also interesting because the two women were working for another woman, and a lady at that, Juliana de Beauchamp. Brewing was commonly associated with women across class lines, since the brewhouse is listed as belonging to the Lady Juliana. All in all, during these years a woman was just as likely to be brewing ale as a man, if not more likely in some instances.

-Eleanor Janega, The Once and Future Sex: Going Medieval on Women’s Roles in Society

[queercoshon]

The din of the crowded bar faded as the door to the bathroom closed behind you. You click the lock, undo your pants, and immediately take a breath of relief.

It had been a long night of celebrations. Your friend was getting married and this was his last night of 'freedom.' The festivities started at a steakhouse, where appetizers, mains, desserts, and many drinks were had.

Your pants were already on the brink of being too tight when you left the house, but you could definitely feel your gut straining against the fabric as you jaunted out of there with all your buddies.

Next stop was everyone's favourite bar. On the way over marajuana was passed around. You have no idea how many joints were circling at once, you just know by the time you made it to the pub, your head was floating and gut roaringly hungry, despite being backed to the brim.

Some sportball event was blaring over the tv when you arrived. You didn't care, but your buds were all stoked, so many appetizers and beers were ordered. You forgot to feign interest in the game 4 beers after getting to the pub.

At this point everyone is visibly drunk, and you are definitely feeling it yourself. Hiccups were wracking your body, jostling the pressured contents of your stomach, shaking loose several beers. You suddenly realised you needed to pee, and somehow managed to stumble your way over to the 1 stall bathroom, missing the door handle on the first try.

Which brings you to now. You stumble/waddle over to the toilet, do your stuff, then do up your pants. Well, you try to. You automatically suck in to close the button (you have to do this even when you're not packed with food and booze now), but the button doesn't quite make it to the hole. When you try again, you try to push your gut out of the way with your arm, but its so rounded out you still have a hard time seeing over it. The button does not get any closer. You drop your belly and belch, which lets loose a new string of hiccups.

God, you're a pig. You'd given up dieting 6 months ago, gaining 20lbs in the first 3 months. All clothes starting to cling to your softening body. Not that you were horribly skinny before, but you were now nearing the heavier end of chubby. Three months ago you'd discovered the empty calories and lost inhibitions of alcohol, and all the benefits weed had. At least twice a week you pass out on your couch, empty takeout containers and beer cans scattered around you, gut creaking and gurgling dangerously. You think you've put on maybe 30 lbs in the last 3 months, but it's closer to 45.

This is evident in your clothing. This is your last pair of pants. You had to lay on your bed, suck in your gut, and use all your strength to get them closed. You could still feel the red indentations on your skin under your gut.

And rather than take it easy and be mindful of what you put in your belly, you consumed with reckless abandon. Leading you to this little bathroom, too fat and bloated to dress yourself decently.

You shake your belly, trying to belch out enough bloat to maybe get them done up. Even in this predicament, you start to fantasize about the beers you'll order once you go back out there, and maybe another basket of fried things.

You drop your gut and hazily look in the mirror. You look sloshed. Eyes completely red, a stupid grin plastered on your face, and even though your upper gut is clearly completely overfed, your belly still hangs low.

Your belly is hanging. You can barely see the button isn't done up. You manage to wiggle the zipper up and grin. No one will notice a thing! And now you definitely have more room without those pesky pants digging into your belly.

Satisfied, you pat your gut and waddle out the door, back to your friends, the food, and the many beers that await you.

[bethanydelleman]

"whenever any of the cottagers were disposed to be quarrelsome, discontented, or too poor, she sallied forth into the village to settle their differences, silence their complaints, and scold them into harmony and plenty." Pride & Prejudice, Ch 30

I thought this was a joke or sarcastic when I first read it, but no, it's worse! Lady Catherine is actually following the accepted wisdom of the time: the poor are poor because they waste their money. The solution? People with £800 fireplace mantles should go tell the poor how to be more economical!

In this really excellent thesis I read, they have quotes from politicians mourning that the poor want "finest wheat bread*" when they should eat "frugal potatoes" or oatmeal instead. They also blamed the poor for drinking too much beer and tea, "the deleterious produce of China."

This was all part of a debate about the national minimum wage, which was by then so low that a man could not eat back the calories that he expended with the money he was paid. But no one rich wanted to raise wages so they turned to the oldest tactic in the book, blame the poor people for being poor! All because of course, "general rise of wages to that point which might be supposed sufficient, would be dangerous in the extreme."

So just to be clear, Lady Catherine, with 64 windows and more money than she knows how to spend, would go to the parsonage and the villagers, and tell them how to pinch pennies! This is exactly what she's doing when she says that Charlotte's cuts of meat are too large. And remember, that stupid fireplace cost more than the Collins make PER YEAR. I would use a facepalm emoji, but I'm not even sure how far we've come from this attitude...

Also, Jane Austen herself was subjected to one of these visits.

*Since the government regulated the purity of wheat flour, the politicians were blaming the poor for the laws they had written

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

how much should the average Gallifreyan be eating and drinking water? if they ate like the average human, would it have adverse effects? are there any nutrients Gallifreyans need that humans don't, or vice versa?

What does a Gallifreyan diet look like?

🌮Nutritional Requirements

Gallifreyans require a balanced diet much like humans, consisting of proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, and minerals. However, their advanced biology allows them to extract nutrients more efficiently.

🍕Nutrition: An adult Gallifreyan needs roughly the same amount of calories as a human (around 2000ish), but they process food so efficiently that one good meal a day is normal, so they appear to eat less.

💧Hydration: Due to their highly efficient kidneys, they need less water. Around two litres of water every day will keep them nicely hydrated.

⚠️Limits: They can go without any food for up to two weeks and up to five days without water before showing symptoms of starvation and dehydration, though they will get increasingly, err, tetchy.

👽Gallifreyan vs. Human Diet

If a Gallifreyan ate like the average human, it wouldn't be catastrophic, but there may be noticeable effects:

🍔Over-nutrition: Given their efficiency in nutrient extraction, consuming the same amount as humans would likely lead to excessive intake, resulting in unwanted weight gain. Their bodies simply don't need as much food to get the same nutrients.

🥤Hydration Overload: Drinking the recommended 2-3 litres of water daily might lead to more frequent urination and unnecessary stress on their kidneys.

🧇Cholesterol and Fats: Gallifreyans can metabolise fats without the negative effects humans face. However, an abundance of unhealthy fats could still challenge their otherwise efficient system over time.

🍫Special Nutritional Requirements

Good news for all the intergalactic nutritionists out there-Gallifreyans and humans have very similar nutritional needs. There are no specific nutrients unique to either species' requirements. However, there are some considerations:

🥛Low Sodium: Their kidneys are excellent at filtering, but a low-sodium diet helps prevent any unnecessary strain.

🍌High Protein and Enzymes: Due to their active metabolism and physical demands, Gallifreyans benefit from higher protein intake and foods rich in enzymes to support their robust bodily functions.

🥬Nutrient Imbalances: Certain foods, especially those rich in Vitamin K (like kale and spinach) and gingerol (found in ginger), could cause issues. Vitamin K can affect their blood chemistry, while gingerol will enhance the effects of other substances, making alcohol, for instance, much more potent.

🌟Special Conditions: In cases of illness or certain medical conditions, Gallifreyans might need to consume specific substances to correct nutrient deficiencies. This might include particular proteins or compounds not commonly found in a regular human diet.

🏫 So ...

So while Gallifreyans can survive on a human diet, their advanced physiology allows them to thrive on less frequent, nutrient-dense meals. So, if you're planning a Gallifreyan dinner party, think high-protein, low-sodium, and for Rassilon's sake, hide that ginger beer.

Related:

💬|🥗👽Are there any foods that Gallifreyans can eat that humans can’t?: What foods Gallifreyans could eat that humans don’t, with some theoretical examples.

💬|🥗🤮How do Gallifreyans vomit?: The process of emesis.

💬|🥗🍫How much sugar causes hyperactivity In Gallifreyans?: Overview of the sugar metabolism in Gallifreyans and theoretical limitations.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any orange text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →📢Announcements |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts → Features: ⭐Guest Posts | 🍜Chomp Chomp with Myishu →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[rjzimmerman]

Wheat on repeat (Anthropocene Magazine)

Excerpt from this story from Anthropocene Magazine:

Disguised within an ordinary-looking bowl of pasta before me is a brand new ingredient, 20-years in the making, that many believe could single-handedly slash emissions, store carbon in the soil, and help the wider environment.

The neat fusilli coils contain flour ground from Kernza, a perennial wheat-like crop that produces multiple harvests from one plant, year after year after year. I received some cooking instructions to get the best out of the novel ingredient: “Don’t cover it up with a bunch of sauce! Make sure you can taste it,” says Lee DeHaan, a scientist at The Land Institute, a non-profit agriculture research organization based in Salina, Kansas, that developed the Kernza grain. I follow his guidance, drizzling in a little olive oil and a pinch of salt, and then take a bite, letting the pasta’s flavors emerge: a subtle but unmistakable hint of cinnamon, followed by nutmeg. It’s unexpectedly warm and earthy, like a salute to the rich Kansas soils that Kernza first sprouted from.

The way this crop was raised there was very different to its cousin, conventional wheat. Wheat is an annual crop, like rice and corn, which together account for almost half of the calories humanity consumes. Annuals must be planted and harvested anew each year, a system that requires farmers to heap fertilizers and herbicides onto the land, dispersed by gas-guzzling machinery that bloats agriculture’s carbon footprint. Meanwhile, repeated cycles of tilling and replanting strips the soil of nutrients, and loses vital topsoil to wind and rain. Over time, those soils may degrade, pushing farmers onto new land in search of fertile ground. 

Each mouthful of this Kernza-rich pasta, on the other hand, supports farming that locks topsoil in place and stores carbon in the earth. A growing movement of researchers, farmers, and producers believe that perennial crops have unmatched potential to reform agriculture’s warped system, and are pinning their hopes—and research dollars—on the likes of Kernza to deliver that. The grain is now cultivated across 4,000 acres of land, by over 100 farmers across the US Midwest and as far afield as Sweden and France. Its distinct aromas have made their way into craft beers, cereals, crackers, and whiskey, and have been embraced by major brands such as Patagonia. 

As a potential substitute for wheat, which covers more global land area than any other commercial crop, Kernza seems to herald a wholesome, low-carbon revolution in the vast agricultural sector. And yet 15 years since the first stands took root, the crop has only managed to capture a tiny fraction of the market, a victim of limited yields, government regulation, and a conservative farming industry. So can Kernza ever displace traditional amber waves of grain, or is it doomed to be a perennial runner-up? 

[hexbimbo]

DBD Favorite Food HC:

Survivors

Dwight Fairfield

Cheese Pizza.

No more no less.

Thinks pepperoni is “too spicy.”

Pizza What! Had 25% lifetime employee discount.

Meg Thomas

Doesn’t particularly care about her diet as much due to her active lifestyle.

Probably needs more calories than the average person because she’s always on the move.

A good hearty veggie burger is enough for Meg.

Claudette Morel

Ham and Cheese Sandwich.

No crust, untoasted, on white bread.

Toasted bread makes her teeth hurt.

Cut into triangles for maximum efficiency.

Jake Park

In the ~lore~ he is shown to have affinity for Korean Barbecue Ribs.

Really enjoys smoked meats and canned veggies

Canned Artichokes. Boom.

Nea Karlson

Energy drinks.

Probably consumed with some rock candy for extra ✨sizzle✨.

Has attempted to down a can and crush it with her forehead (failed)

Laurie Stroade

Apple pie.

Something all American and sweet.

A nice dollop of vanilla ice cream too please!

Ace Visconti

Would probably tell you some fancy name that makes you feel broke.

More likely a home cooked meal by his Mom

Thinks that high rollers shouldn’t be associated with low class dishes of a foreign country.

I’ll go with Alfajores. Especially the ones dipped with a little chocolate.

William “Bill” Overbeck

Tv dinner with a cold beer

Preferably a Salisbury steak one 🔥🔥🔥

Over boiled canned peas with a slice of buttered bread ain’t bad either.

Feng Min

Candy and chips seems too obvious yknow?

~Lore~ also mentions her being an alcoholic but that’s not really a “favorite” is it?

Probably sponsored a limited edition soft drink that she really liked.

David King

Toad in the hole.

“Classic British “cuisine””

Surprisingly not a fan of a good chippy

Too much oil for his diet

Quentin Smith

Yknow those hard candies in strawberry wrapping old people give on Halloween?

Those

Those 💯

Especially ones with little soft center

David Tapp

Chinese food.

Crab Rangoons was always his go too.

Especially slathered in duck sauce. (Sweet and sour)

Kate Denson

Sun flower seeds.

Perfect snack for wildness jam seshs.

Would be trail mix if she didn’t only eat the chocolate.

Adam Francis

Connivence store meals

Have you see the pre-made meal game in Japan?

~Lore~ mentions that he enjoyed spending his weekends at high end restaurants too.

Big fan of Japanese food.

Jeffery “Jeff” Johansen

Pancakes. Maybe with some blueberry if he’s feeling fancy.

Nice slab of butter in between each layer.

Likes the syrup to soak into a the pancakes for a bit.

Beard definitely catches the sticky crumbs.

Jane Romero

Grilled Chicken and Beet Salad.

Sprinkle some walnuts and goat cheese for extra yummy flavor.

Probably enjoyed with a tasty raspberry or apple vinaigrette.

Ashley J. Williams

Edibles.

Relax kid! He’s just joshing ya’!

Cow tails are pretty groovy.

But he wouldn’t say no to a few special brownies.

Nancy Wheeler

She looks boring as hell

Vanilla ice cream with cherry shell.

Not that flavorful but sweet enough it’s a treat.

Steve Harrington

Root beer float.

Mid tbh.

Enjoys the idea of sharing it with someone via two straws at a sleepy diner.

Yui Kimura

Street food.

Takoyaki to be specific.

Her gang spent a lot of time muscling about in the narrow streets of Tokyo. Easy access to cheap and piping hot food.

Likes eating with her hands.

Zarina Kassir

Felt like she wasn’t as appreciative of her “foreign” lunches as she could’ve been as a kid.

Makes an effort to recreate her childhood meals but lacks the “mom touch.”

Always on the move for the next big story, this film maker enjoys celery and carrots.

Cheryl Mason

Dry Cereal.

Just something to pick at through out the day.

Not too sweet either. Something whole grain works for her.

Felix Richter

Heavily salted potato salad.

Boil some proses till tender, throw in some mayo, lemon juice, parsley, dash of sugar, salt ‘n pepper and you, my friend, have got it ON 🔥🔥🔥

The side dish you’re forced to try but end up digging.

Élodie Rakoto

Hachis Parmentier. Served with a cucumber salad.

“Classic French “cuisine.””

About as tasty as you would expect.

Easy to prepare and easy to eat. (Kinda)

Yun- Jin Lee

Fancy foods for the fancy lady.

Western food has a soft spot in her cold, unfeeling heart.

Mushroom risotto and seared scallops.

Jill Valentine

BLT hold the mayo.

Wavy chips make a good side.

Maintains a firm diet.

Leon S. Kennedy

I raise you one: Ham, Cheese, Egg croissant.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one.

And available at many fast food places.

Had one with a runny egg yoke and - lord.

Mikaela Reid

Lavender Matcha Boba.

Her tastes buds soared.

Too bad it was a limited time promotional item.

Jonah Vasquez

Caesar Salad Wrap with Ranch.

Maybe with a small lil fruit cup.

Overall very healthy 👍.

Yoichi Asakawa

Hamburg with cheese.

I don’t really know a lot about him tbh.

Seems like he has a well balanced diet.

Probably eats it with a cabbage garnish.

Haddie Kaur

Eggs.

Fried eggs served over spiced watermelon rinds are 👌.

Can’t go wrong with an eggs and cheese.

Ada Wong

I can’t really imagine her eating??

My mind says she probably collects antique wine but I can’t really picture her drinking either.

I’ll go with mussoli.

Rebecca Chambers

Macarons!

Expensive? Yes. Shareable? Also yes!

“Oh! Those look just like a smiling hamburger!”

Vittorio Toscano

Cheese and bread.

Maybe- MAYBE a little watered down wine.

Not like a charcuterie board. More Skyrim “going ham on a wheel of cheese and bread”.

Thalita Lyra

Grilled Pineapple.

Dusted with some brown sugar and grilled on an open flame is 🤤.

Likes it tender. Undercooked, firm pineapple makes her sad.

Renato Lyra

Rice. Rice never changes.

Goes well with cheesy stroganoff.

Wash it down with a fizzy drink.

Probably doesn’t eat much else tbh. Classic ‘Tism 😎

Gabriel Soma

Due to his memories being fake it’s hard to tell if he actually likes the food or just THINKS he likes it.

Probably likes hotdogs.

His Mom would always get him some to nom on during baseball game.

Hates pork hotdogs.

Nic Cage

Apparently is irl favorites are KFC and champagne.

Sounds about right.

Seems like a memer and would get a baja blast if his kids suggested it.

Ellen Ripely

Freeze dried ice cream sandwiches.

Or crackers.

Likes the crunch and long shelf life both can provide.

Alan Wake

Scrambled eggs, buttered toast, and black coffee.

You ever such a rough morning you gotta process what’s on your plate for 10 minutes?

Likes his eggs salty.

Sable Ward

DIY spooky treats!

“Mummy Dogs” are croissant wrapped hotdogs and “candied eyeballs” are tangulu grapes.

Probably had an edgy phase of “only liking black coffee.”

“How can you even enjoy the natural taste of coffee with all that sugar and milk??”

Killers:

Evan McMillian

Boiled Dinner.

Throw some cabbage, pastrami, and bacon in bag with some seasonings.

(Read: salt and pepper).

Delicious for 1800 palettes.

Phillip Ojomo

Canned beans.

Eating them straight from the can hit different after a long day of crushing cars.

Knows how to open any can with a spoon alone.

Max Thompson Jr

Biscuits and Gravy.

Was usually served the slop version as a kid.

Tries to re-create it a bit more “not bad”.

Sally Smithson

Johnny cakes.

Probably also likes food with not okay names.

Like “Injun Bread” 🫤.

Micheal Myers

Chips and Cola.

Eats more to survive than for comfort.

A lot of victims tend to be teenagers relaxing on Halloween with an assortment of junk food goodies.

Chips in bowl and a half empty cup of cola are very tasty snacks when he’s on the move.

Lisa Sherwood

I’m not sure if it’s ever explicitly said but I head-cannon her as being from New Orleans.

Craw fish is tried and true banger.

Even in her “Hag” form, she enjoys slurping them up raw.

Herman Carter

Black Coffee.

Wakes up early to enjoy some time alone with his mug.

Maybe dips a crostini in.

Anna

Bear.

Anna likes her food in a very particular way, almost OCD with her eating habits.

Refuses to eat until she “earns” the right to eat.

Bear is the perfect challenge.

Bubba Sawyer

Chili.

Add a dollop of cheddar jack cheese on top for a pop of color.

Likes dipping bread into it.

No spoon required.

Freddy Krueger

Apple slices.

A nice juicy apple was refreshing on a hot summers day working in the garden.

Now, the juices sting his skin.

Amanda Young

Fast food.

If you ever worked the morning shift at a fast food place yknow the crack heads be jonesing out in the corner booth.

Post Recovery, I think greasy fast food helps settle her stomach.

Jeffery Hawk

Corn dogs if he’s mad, cotton candy if he’s sad.

Or both if you wanna meet an early grave.

Either way, eats way too much for his body to properly digest and often is constipated.

Rin Yamaoka

Natto.

Sticky fermented beans beloved by Japan.

Kinda icky but it’s a staple there.

Frank, Julie, Susie, Joey

Frank likes hot chocolate.

Julie likes loaded fries.

Susie likes sprinkles.

Joey likes red slushies.

Adris

Mutton and dates.

A holy meal for a holy woman.

Not too sure if the Babylonians had honey ( I think they did) she’d probably slather it on.

Danny Johnson

French fries.

Perfect finger food while typing up the next big story.

Tries dipping it in the blood of his victims to be “edgy.”

Decided against it as it could implement him to the crimes (credit card, receipts, DNA etc).

Demogorgan

Enjoys nibbling on plants.

More of a sensory thing than taste.

They tickle all the right places in its mouth.

Kazan Yamaoka

Pickled Veggies

Great for traveling and very nutritious .

Probably would be a meat dish but I’d imagine he was very disciplined with his diet.

Caleb Quinn

Lambs Fry.

Also likes snacking on bar peanuts.

His favorite part is the eye ball.

Pyramid Head

I don’t think he can eat.

Doesn’t he have a tongue??

Likes flicking it over the inside of his helmet.

Likes the metallic taste of rust.

Talbot Grimes

Haggis.

“Classic Scottish “cuisine””.

Would cry eating it as child.

Also likes hibiscus tea for the anti oxidants ☝️.

Charlotte and Victor Deshayes

Food was hard to come by growing up.

Survived off of scraps.

One time they were lucky to come across very tasty meat.

Their mom said it was “honeyed” whatever that meant.

Ji-woon Hak

Champagne.

Definitely pours it over himself to watch it stream through his abs.

Enjoys dropping a fruit in to dive after.

Nemesis T-Type

Nemesis is technically a meat suit being piloted by a parasite (that’s what his tentacle thing is.)

Kinda feeds off the body it’s piloting.

Like a fungi to a tree (which is bananas, look it up.)

Elliot Spencer

Scabs.

Especially likes the thicker variety that peel clean off.

Bonus points if it’s has that soft, goey white stuff in it.

Carmina Mora

Caldino de congrio.

Hot as fuck.

Eel hits different.

Sadako Yamamura

Rice.

Nothing special.

A plain bowl of rice lightly salted is a good meal in itself.

Maybe a peice of unseasoned fish.

Dredge

Fingernails.

Enjoys chewing on its “hands” and hearing that sweet, sweet crunch.

Sometimes chews on the fingernails of deceased survivors to see if it can taste what they’ve previously eaten.

Albert Wesker

Sultans Delight.

A creamy eggplant mixture topped with some braised lamb.

Doesn’t really take the time to enjoy it.

Give him 7 minutes tops.

Tarhos Kovács

Preserved fish.

The extremely salted filets cook up real quick for a tasty dish.

Was always a treat when he found a barrel of them in his raids.

Adrianna Imai

Guarana.

Enjoys it especially as a mixer.

Her mini fridge is always stocked with some.

HUX-A7-13

“Eating” is an organic thing.

No thanks.

Does have a favorite type of electricity.

Enjoys the smell of carbon.

Xenomorph

Human.

As an apex predators, Aliens enjoy killing everything that catches their eye.

I imagine our Alien in particular developed a taste for human flesh.

Charles Lee Ray

Swedish Meatballs.

Some meatballs are better than others.

But they like, gotta be seasoned super well. Not like a dash of Italian herbs and you call it day.

Unknown

Bone marrow.

Likes to suck them out of chicken bones.

Or human bones.

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Room For One More?

Read here or on AO3!

Yoongi, Hobi, and Jimin met in college and ended up being roommates after becoming quick close friends. They met through mutual friends and just clicked immediately, agreeing to find an apartment and move in together as soon as they could.

After graduating, they all had work or grad programs lined up in the same area of the city so they continued living together which helped them finally work out their feelings. They ended up in an established relationship within weeks of moving into the new post-college place and couldn’t be happier.

Jimin had noticed that Yoongi and Hobi had something going on with food even before they were dating, but he also assumed that Yoongi’s casual but progressive gain over the past five years was just that college and relationship gain.

Yoongi had sized up many times throughout their time in college. Jimin assumed the initial gain came from a good dining hall and drinking with friends when he first noticed Yoongi’s cute little beer belly. 

It had continued as college went on, again as assumed college gain. It was as if Yoongi had collected his freshman fifteen every year. 

His little beer belly became a soft, chubby midsection that Jimin enjoyed cuddling up on any chance he got with how comfortable and warm Yoongi became. 

Jimin never felt like he could bring it up because what an embarrassing thing to be wrong about. He can’t imagine the thought of accusing them of this arrangement and potentially body-shaming his partner. 

That was until Jimin heard them discussing it in bed one night while they clearly thought he was asleep. It confirmed his suspicions that the gain had been mostly intentional and Hobi encouraged that gain for Yoongi.

The idea of gaining and hearing how the other two talked about their dynamic immediately interested Jimin, like it opened his eyes to the kink instantly. He had spent so long trying to ignore the assumption that Jimin hadn’t even considered his own feelings toward it.

Jimin understood why they hid it and he was not mad about it, but he also wanted to surprise them while exploring it himself and in a way, get back at them for hiding it for so long. 

Making a plan was easy because Jimin knew that if food seemed to be missing, Hobi would assume it was Yoongi eating it. He would eat his normal meal-prepped lunches for school and then also go get snacks, pastries, or even another meal at the campus dining hall. 

His morning run became a morning walk, sometimes with a stop at the coffee shop or bakery near their apartment. Jimin accepted more invites to drinks with friends or classmates where he ordered a few beers and an appetizer instead of one cocktail like he used to. 

Snacks and candy were always fully stocked in his bag when Jimin went to study at the library, but he tried to invite Taehyung and Jungkook to coffee shops more often now. He added extra calories to his smoothies and did low-intensity or lifting workouts when he went to the gym with Jungkook instead of his typical cardio circuits. 

Sometimes, Jimin even dropped the workout altogether for a bike ride with Namjoon or a little dinner out with Jin. He made very intentional and effective choices to incorporate more calories in a healthy way wherever he could. 

And it was a success. Jimin started gaining on his own but wearing baggier clothes which was easy since he often stole Yoongi’s sweaters and hoodies. 

Jimin knew his partners were starting to notice a little bit when they got intimate, but neither Yoongi nor Hobi said anything. It didn’t get awkward either since it was nothing more than a little softness, less than twenty pounds after three or four months. 

It was clear to Jimin that most of the weight went to his bottom half. His thighs and hips were filling out all his pants more noticeably, but his stomach had certainly gone from flat and toned to a soft layer of pudge. 

Easily written off as normal relationship gain plus the stress of a grad program. Jimin didn’t think anyone around him had truly thought of it as anything to comment on.

After confirming for himself that he was definitely enjoying the process and his body, Jimin felt ready to have them acknowledge his gain and encourage him. He wanted to be in on the dynamic, but he also wanted a good reveal.

Jimin had a trip scheduled with Taehyung and Jungkook, also knowing that when he got back,  Yoongi had a trip for work and Hobi also had a trip with friends scheduled. Since he was not going to see them for over a month besides video calls, Jimin decided to eat very well on his trip and when he had their place to himself after he got back. 

When Yoongi and Hobi both got back home on the same day from their respective trips, they arrived to find something they never expected and never will forget. 

Jimin had on one of his old crop tops from college that was now skin tight, hemline clinging to him above his belly button, and a pair of sweatpants snug on his thighs, waistband tied and tucked below his new little belly that was more round and pronounced considering he had been eating all day. 

Yoongi and Hobi were speechless. They couldn’t hide their evident interest in Jimin’s new gain, clearly losing their minds internally while trying to figure out what to say. Jimin loved it. 

He loved the way they were both looking at him like they were about to lose their minds. Jimin had never felt more confident in front of his partners before which said a lot considering how generous Yoongi and Hobi were with their love.

Jimin decided to come clean first, making it easier for Yoongi and Hobi who obviously were trying to figure out what to do. He told them about how he found out, how it immediately interested him, and how he planned for this. 

It seemed to instantly settle Yoongi and Hobi that Jimin’s choices came from a place of personal interest and not from their expectations. 

Yoongi said they shouldn’t be surprised considering how obvious they could be at times and how he’s clearly put on weight over the past couple of years. 

Hobi shared how excited he was to incorporate Jimin into their dynamic, especially when he’s clearly a natural at it. The teasing already having the effect Jimin was hoping for as he felt his cheeks getting warm from the praise.

Both also apologized for not telling Jimin sooner, considering that they had a platonic dynamic before transitioning into their romantic relationship. 

Jimin forgave them, knowing it was personal, but he also decided to tease them back.

“It’s alright, I understand. But just think about how much more I would’ve gained by now if you told me,” Jimin said, sending a little wink their way as he took another bite of hotteok he had been eating. 

Hobi finally decided to cross the room, pulling Jimin into a kiss that tasted like the sugary sweetness of his dessert. His hands moved freely to all the places he had been resisting lately when he first noticed Jimin’s slight gain. 

Yoongi sidled up beside them, stealing a kiss of his before also stealing a bite of the hotteok. His hand slipped around Jimin’s waist and noted the tightness of his full stomach - a sensation Yoongi didn’t realize he was attracted to on another person when it’s usually his own belly feeling that way. 

As Hobi was dropping little whispers of praise while encouraging Jimin to take a bite of another hotteok, Yoongi tentatively massaged his hands across Jimin’s middle until he pinched the new layer of pudge below his belly button. 

Yoongi and Hobi knew they were in for a treat with the soft gasp that left Jimin’s lips from Yoongi’s touch. With his recently discovered enthusiasm and gaining journey now out in the open, it already was making their dynamic feel refreshed and stronger.

[aristocrating]

wip wthfriday

tagged by the lovely @0lympus-mons <3 been so busy with my master's that i haven't super had time to write, but as a treat here's the first 1000 words of ch6 of there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me

i'm tagging @softbrah and @impalerswift and whoever else feels like sharing! tag me if you post something, i'm nosy <3

Ch6: sometimes i feel i've got to run away

Soft Cell - Tainted Love

Jack wakes to a knock on his door. His first conscious thought is that he really wishes people would stop coming to his room.

Then, last night starts slowly trickling in, first in small droplets, then flooding back in full technicolor. The game. The party. Shitty. Kent. Fuck.

He climbs out of bed and tries to say "Gimme a sec," before he realizes his voice is completely gone. He groans and goes to the door.

Before he opens, he pinches his shirt and smells. Only smells slightly of puke, but at least the coke stains are mostly gone. Good enough.

He pulls the door open and gets blinded by the light from the hallway. He drew the curtains shut sometime in the early morning and he's not prepared for the day to break into his tiny singles with full force, accompanied by Johnson and Shitty, who's holding up an Annie's coffee cup.

"Here's your early morning call, brahski." Shitty wordlessly hands over the cup and Jack doesn't miss the way his mouth is pressed into a thin line, stuck somewhere halfway between apprehensive and afraid.

Yeah, Jack deserves that, he thinks, but he mutters thanks regardless, only a low grumble coming forth as his voice refuses to cooperate.

"Oh wow, you really went out with a bang last night, huh?" Johnson says.

Jack ignores him and steps back to let the other two come in. For all he knows, his room smells like shit and there's two empty vodka Red Bull cans strewn on the floor between the rest of Jack's clothes.

"Uhm, no, that's fine," Johnson says at the gesture. "You're coming with us, actually."

"Team breakfast at the Haus," Shitty supplies, and he's still avoiding Jack's eye carefully. "Copper wants you there."

Jack grimaces. There are few things he would love to do less right now than be stuck with Shitty, whose heart he just kicked in the balls and Copper, who he is pretty sure he told to his face he wants to kiss.

Also, someone will probably talk to him about his spot on his team.

He sighs and looks around for where he shuffled off his sweatpants before crawling into bed last night. Might as well get it over with sooner than later.

"Give me a few minutes," he says and smells his shirt again. "I really gotta shower."

The walk to the Haus is quiet. Uncomfortably so, Jack thinks, with Johnson walking between him and Shitty, who has apparently discovered that he does have the ability to shut his mouth for once in his life. Jack winces at every detail about last night that comes back to him as they walk, the fresh air and winter sun unlocking memories with the impact of a freight train.

When they reach the Haus, it still looks decently disheveled, and Jack imagines the same is true for the occupants: there is trash on the front porch that's only been sweeped into one big pile but not been disposed of yet.

Empty bottles and beer cans and a few colorful party streamers that look like they got soaked in the mysterious brew J-Mills referred to as Tub Juice all piled up together like the world's saddest modern art exhibit. The pile looks sort of like Jack feels, he thinks wryly, and for the first time in twelve hours, the corner of his mouth twitches into a hesitant smile.

Copper is alone in the kitchen, standing at the stove, toiling away at a massive frying pan containing sausages, bacon and eggs. Jack is surprised to feel his stomach grumble at the sight – surprising insofar because Jack is usually very good at ignoring his body's hunger signals. Hunger means burning calories, means staying lean and lithe. Protein is consumed three times a day at regular intervals, but can be skipped at a moment's notice if Jack feels that he needs to use the time for more productive things, like going for a run or dropping by the rink to practice some more.

Copper, of course, immediately catches the way Jack absent-mindedly rubs his stomach and points to a chair with his spatula, like the king of the house ruling over his peasants with a scepter. Copper is in only his boxer shorts, and Jack lets his eyes dip to his thighs for just a moment. He can't help immediately comparing them to Kent's, and then quietly curses himself, because as soon as the memory of Kent's thighs under his hands re-enters his mind, more unpretty details of last night emerge.

He sits down wordlessly and Copper sets down a large plate of toast, sausages, eggs, bacon and a jar of peanut butter in front of him. Jack quips, "What, no maple syrup?" but then he catches Shitty's eye, who still looks like someone passed away last night, and he quickly quiets down again.

They eat their food in silence, and Jack is so engrossed in the taste of real food on his tongue after eighteen hours, that he's halfway through his plate before he realizes there's a row of Bloody Marys poised in the center of the table.

"Hangover cure," Copper, who's been following Jack's gaze like a hawk, and was possibly also hired as a PI to make his whole life miserable, comments, and he immediately steps forward when Jack reaches out to swat his hand away. "Not for you," he says, gently but firmly. "Only for people who didn't fucking wreck their entire shit last night."

Johnson and Shitty snicker and both reach out to take a glass each. "Where's everyone else?" Shitty asks, and Jack notices the way his demeanor immediately relaxes when he's talking to Copper instead of looking at him.

Copper points at the ceiling with his spatula-scepter and then puts a finger to his lips, like Bloody Mary Hangover Cure Brunch is their small little secret just between the four of them. "They usually don't come down before two," he says and grabs a Bloody Mary of his own.

Jack follows the motion, Copper’s long fingers wrapping around the round glass, before he takes a sip which taints his upper lip red. Jack feels a surge of anger well up within him, completely displaced but untameable in this moment.

He gets up from his chair. “I don’t need to give myself this bullshit,” he says, which draws everyone’s gazes on him.

Copper frowns. “We’re just hanging out. But you’re always free to share what’s on your mind, of course, if that would be more to your taste.”

Jack glares at him for a moment. Sweet Copper with his perfect act of harmless innocence. “You can all go fuck yourselves,” Jack snaps and spins around on his heel. He ignores the hurt looks Shitty throws his way and stalks out into the cold afternoon air.

[twigsagi101]

Did a fun writing activity with my friends last night: What would your Ocs preferred dish be? Get ready for a whole yap under the cut as I detail my whole facilities.

Indigo:

Her favorite food is opera cake and she likes the more airy and bitter foods. Things like coffee or things with lots of herbs, but nothing too heavy.

Connor:

A man of refined cuisine, his favorite dish is salmon and keeps tabs on what's healthy to consume. Type of man to look at the price, be put off by it, learn the recipe himself, perfect it and recreate it flawlessly. Big lover of asparagus and red wine.

Auzzie:

She looooves savory foods with lots of spice. Curry, Singapore noodles, stir-fry, but most importantly chicken marsala. Orange sauces with curry power and turmeric is a match made in heaven for her. For drinks she's probably martinis on a fun day and all types of sodas regularly. Something with a fruity punch.

Leon:

Club sandwiches! Easy, sustainable and that's all he needs. He'll usually also have an apple on the side and just wants water for his drink. Simple, but that's the way he likes it.

Twugget:

Junk food! Pizza, burgers, fries oh my! Growing up in District J she often had to fight for good food and will eat relatively anything, food is food after all!

Loretta:

She loves chicken, but more of the grilled dishes. Chicken with lemon sauce and parnesan is up her ally. She loves tangy citrus and all sorts of fruits. She always has an apple with her. Her favorite dessert is strawberry shortcake and she can't get enough of it!

Chester:

Big uncle needs his big meal! The hearty kinds are his favorite! A big stake or a giant pot pie. Hes winning all the eating competitions in the facility then burns it off in the battle field. He'll usually have a big jug of beer on the side, he's heavy weight and none can say they've ever seen him drunk.

Momo:

Perfect and organized bento boxes. Everything has a purpose and filled to hit exactly 2000 calories with enough nutrients to bat. Though it takes alot of time to prepare she doesn't mind! She'll have lemon water in a bottle to go with it. She also makes cute little shapes with the rice (training Dummy Rabbits rice balls or abnormality themed foods)

Elijah:

Dollar store cup of noodles and that's it. Morning, afternoon and night it's his lifeblood. People wonder if he's getting the right amount of nutrients but he seems to operate just fine (save for all the tiredness. The others try to get him to eat better. He can't be bothered tho... not enough time... cooking is too hard...)

Hazel:

You know in monster hunter how they have those giant meat cuts with 10 different sides? That's their jam and if they really like something they'll make sure to let you know. They can down 1 gallon of any fluid after too then go run 5 laps. Just where do they get all this energy... they're stomach is like a bottomless pit.

Aarang:

Grew up on kimchi so it's her most favorite dish in the world. Any form of kimchi too, she likes to try and pickle it in different ways to et new flavors and combinations. She also loves nectarines!

Claria:

Always has a new flavor of chip on her. Hot chip, potato, BBQ, sour cream and onion, you name it. Many love her as she stocks the supply closest with them and those are the chips they use to play poker with.

Yuno:

Escargot. Something fascinates him the fact that man perfected a way to eat slugs in a safe way when otherwise it would be so dangerous. He's not much for the taste but rather the experince. He also likes osters and various seafoods.

Dogma:

Memphis:

Bro low key kinda a freak with his favorite foods. There's lots of abnormalities he's like to try and eat but he doesn't want anyone to know so he usually just says normal options. Can you imagine... Well Cheers fried rice... smoked roasted fire bird... if only...

Abigail:

She likes sweet and savory things and cannot handle spice in the slightest. Crumples to even mild things, so she stays in her comfort zone of comfort meals (pastas, stews and oven bakes.) She likes bitter drinks and things that give her energy to get through the day, but cutting down as she got a little too addicted to caffeine.

Another one who will only take fine cuisine and is very picky with his foods. Must be cooked in special ways for him to eat it. Things like lobster, fine cuts of stake and rare types of fish. Many imagine what a cooking competition between him and Connor would be like... (for safety reasons, this event has been prohibited.)

[oreoismymiddlename]

THE ICE CREAM MAN

Chapter 2 – The Summer That Stuck to Me

Something shifted the summer before college.

It started slowly—subtle changes, small choices. A second burger at the cookout. A pile of chips scooped higher than necessary. A lazy Sunday spent poolside with a full plate balanced on my gut, watching the ice in my soda melt and reform with every refill.

After Jake lost weight, I’d clung to the idea that maybe I should too. That maybe thinness was the prize for patience, that fitting in meant staying small. But my senior year? That year undid all of that.

I was still floating in that strange in-between space: old enough to feel free, but young enough to believe there were no real consequences yet. I wasn’t gaining intentionally—not yet. But I wasn’t saying no, either. I wasn’t holding back. And little by little, my body began to reflect that.

I started the school year around 235 lbs, and by graduation, I’d climbed to 270.

At first, no one said much. A few friends joked that “senior fifteen” was hitting me early, and I laughed along, brushing my belly with the back of my hand like it was some inside joke I shared with myself. My clothes felt tighter, but not tight enough to cause alarm—just snug in a way that made me more aware of myself. Sitting down meant a softer stomach pressing against my waistband. Running up stairs left me a little breathless. But I didn’t mind. I felt… comfortable. Anchored.

I started gravitating toward food-centered hangouts. After-school fast food runs turned into evening pizza parties and late-night donut detours. Cookouts became my favorite kind of gathering—meat sizzling, sides piled high, coolers stocked with soda and beer. There was something indulgent about standing near a grill, plate already full, eyeing the next round.

It wasn’t just about the food—it was the freedom.

That year, I let go of a lot. I stopped pretending to care about counting calories or picking low-fat dressing. I embraced the seconds, the thirds. I ate what I wanted when I wanted it. I let the stress of exams, college applications, and social pressure melt away beneath layers of comfort food and softening skin.

Then came graduation parties.

Every weekend was another excuse to celebrate with cake, chips, BBQ, and beer. The tightness in my jeans became constant. My T-shirts clung to me, especially around the belly. One day, while sitting on a lawn chair at a friend’s party, I felt it bow a little too far under my weight—just enough to make me pause. I didn’t break it… but I almost did. And honestly? That little jolt of danger kind of excited me.

That summer—God, that summer.

I must’ve gone to twenty different cookouts and parties. Every event had buffet tables bending under paper plates, burgers, slaws, creamy potato salads, and half-melted desserts. I remember one 4th of July weekend, I spent the better part of an entire day lounging by a pool with a burger in one hand and a red Solo cup in the other, belly slowly stretching under my tank top. I caught a glimpse of myself reflected in the patio door—sun-baked, slightly bloated, smile wide—and for the first time, I didn’t flinch. I looked… happy. Rounder, yes. But grounded.

My family noticed the gain. A few side-eyes at the dinner table. My mom offering to make more “healthy options.” I played it off. “It’s just senior year,” I said. “I’ll slim down before school.”

But I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Something had awakened in me during those months. The same hunger I’d buried during Jake’s weight loss journey was back, louder, warmer. And this time, I wasn’t ashamed.

College loomed in the distance—dorms, new routines, new people. But I knew one thing before I even set foot on campus: I was going in heavier, softer, and more satisfied than I’d ever been before.

What I didn’t know was that college would offer more than just an education.

It would introduce me to people who would change the way I saw food, love, and myself forever.

And I was more than ready to meet them.

[fatfables]

Shawn makes some new friends at Yale

This is a sample section from the third part of my gainer novel, Camp Shawn.

The first three parts are available to read at fatfables.com

Shawn and Harry sat down next to Tom who introduced Shawn to a few of the others. There was a tall Dutch boy with ginger hair and a long low bell shaped belly that hung off his six foot seven frame, he was called Bart, so everyone referred to him as Simpson. There was also a guy from Toronto called ‘Big John’, a nickname that he had kept from school. You can guess why. And the only guy there who was fatter and heavier than Shawn, Terry Thompson. TT was a massive superchub, 536 lbs and eager to grow. Shawn eyed him enviously.

The barbecues had been cooking constantly for the last four hours and were still going strong. Shawn started with a few plates of cheeseburgers but soon found himself starting to become bored by the meat. He sighed heavily, when he realised why, and Harry handed him three more beers. Fortunately for Shawn the posh Yale boys had provided salads and sides. 

Shawn found the potato salad. It was made with whole baked potatoes smothered in mayonnaise, creme fraiche, and other buttery sauces that he couldn’t quite recognise. He ate four huge bowls of it. It was one of the most filling side dishes he had ever had and the calories soon started to fill out his own sides. He drank 3000 calories in beer alone and his massive belly filled with gas and started to balloon accordingly. College was starting to turn him into a big drinker and his size meant that he could drink a lot. He burped loudly after throwing the contents of one of the red party cups down his throat in one. He belly laughed and asked if they were hiding the desserts from him. Harry called another boy over and told him that it was time to empty the fridges.

The jokes continued as the beer poured and barbecue sizzled. The YGS boys started to reminisce about their success earlier that evening and took much joy in telling and retelling the story of how Dr Steve Stringer had fallen in the custard and slipped a disc. Shawn licking the custard off him was one of the funniest things any of them had ever seen. The memory of his Dad being taken away in an ambulance and the thought that he was right now laying paralysed in a hospital bed, raking up a massive bill, while he was here feasting and partying with his new fat friends filled Shawn with joy. It also enabled a new hunger to overtake him just as the deserts arrived.

Shawn, Harry, Tom, TT, Bart, and Big John went to town on the deserts. Thanks to the new Dutch Simpson they had massive amounts of Stroopwafles and Poffertjes. The deliciously gooey waffles were stuffed with a thick caramel syrup that ran down the double chins of all six boys as they raced to ram as many of them in their mouths in one go as they could. They devoured at least twenty each and devised a game of trying to say ‘poffertjes’ with the correct pronunciation while chewing on chipmunk-esque mouthfuls of cakes and cream.

“Puffedjerkges,” said Tom.

“Priflgedjes,” said Harry.

“Preodflegas,” said TT.

“Plufdgasgas,” Shawn spat loads of pastry out from between his greedy fat lips when he laughed as he tried to speak.

“Proffertjes,” said Simpson, with expert native pronunciation.

The beer and more than generous portions continued to flow. Shawn was starting to feel lightheaded just as his belly became achingly overfull. All the beer and sugar was reacting in his huge tightly packed stomach. He could hear and feel it all sloshing and gurgling about. Once or twice he did a small sick-up as the slimy digested fatty treats struggled to find anywhere else to go due to just how gloriously overfull he truly was. He felt like such a wonderful pig.

At this moment he felt someone grab his heavy arms and tie them behind his back. It was Harry. The same was done to Tom Stanton 315 lbs.

“This game is called Hog-tied.” Harry said. “The aim is to see which one of you can eat the most chocolate cheesecake in under three minutes.”

A pile of family sized cheesecakes were placed on the table in front of Shawn and Tom. Shawn’s eyes sparkled like the brightest star in the sky.

“I’m gonna kick your skinny little ass Tom-boy!”

“Good fucking luck, Big head. I’m hardly a newb at this!”

TT started the clock.

Both pigs let their heavy heads drop forward into the pies. Shawn snuffled and grunted as he took huge bites from the cake. Tom was also pigging away at a rapid rate. He used his long tongue to sweep the rich topping into his mouth before gnawing at the cookie base like a starving rat. Shawn was the first to lift his head as he finished licking his tongue around the edges of the metallic tray. His huge moon-like face was covered in cream, chocolate sauce, and syrup. It ran off his forehead into his eyes. It was up his nose and dripping into his mouth. He was clearly salivating.

The second cheesecake was placed in front of him. He dived in without a second thought. Both boys were full to the point of bursting. As Tom lifted his head his belly pushed out and the shirt he was wearing ripped wide open. Three buttons flew off across the table and 315 lbs of pure belly fat plopped out into the cooling night air. The gathering crowd cheered loudly.

Shawn lifted his head for a second time after barely thirty seconds. He tilted his head as far back as it would go causing the folds on the back of his neck to scrunch together. He stared up at the stars and groaned loudly.

“Uuufffff!”

“Had enough?” Harry asked.

“No fucking chance. Cake me!”

The third cheesecake was slid in front of him and he dived in face first. As he bit, licked, chewed, gulped, and swallowed, he could feel his belly straining and stretching out in front of him. His gut was so big and swollen that it took real physical effort to lean far enough forward to reach the tantalisingly tasty torta. He continued to huff and puff as he gobbled down every last inch of the third round. He lifted his head just as Tom was finishing his second cake. Of course Shawn was going to win.

There was just over one minute left as the pigs started to gorge on their third and fourth pies. Shawn’s belly was now in real pain. It was once more far too full to hold any more food but he kept eating anyway. He was such a lard balloon. It really was a glorious sight for all the other boys to see. He ate with such passion and desire and his belly was just the biggest roundest ball of fat that any of them had ever known. Shawn heard a creaking noise. At first he thought it was the bench below him but he quickly realised and ate with even greater gusto. He felt his belly grow, licked up the last of the crumbs, lifted his head and let the seams of his new YGS t-shirt, that he had only just been gifted, rip open down his left hand side. Another huge cheer rang out.

“That was the largest size we had.” Someone said.

The first to show itself was his marvellously meaty love handle. It plopped out with a thud and hung in the open air, five inches over the side of his trousers. The fat was thick and rich and lightly tanned. Next out was the huge fat roll that sat on top of it. Four inches tall and just as wide. The tight skin struggling to hold the fat in was as smooth as silk. Then came his left breast, the size of a basketball and just as round. It shone in the moonlight, a huge erect nipple on top. The t-shirt then flung open and fell down his right hand side. His bulbous balloon belly burst out, forward and free. It was magnificent. Over 76 inches in diameter standing. It must have measured well over 100 inches sitting. Glistening red stretch marks ran all around it, melting into his tan. The blubbery layer of fatty adipose covering his digestive organs must have been at least two feet deep. His fat fat face was still smothered in the creamy cake. Shawn really was the world’s most glorious looking glutton.

He squealed like a prize hog. Leant his head backwards and screamed at the top of his voice;

“CAKE ME!”

The fifth cheesecake was hastily chucked in front of him. He screamed in pain as he leant forward. The weight of his tits and fat rolls crushed down on top of his screaming stomach. He dug his tongue deep into the cake and ate and ate and ate.

Tom lifted his head from his third round just as the three minutes were up. Shawn groaned in frustration. He knew they wouldn’t let him finish the final cake. 

“Tom Stanton 315 lbs, three chocolate cheesecakes!”

 “Shawn Stringer, King of Fat Camp, four and a half chocolate cheesecakes!”

There was a large round of applause as all the YGS boys cheered and laughed.

“I once did five, ya know,” TT said to Shawn.

“Fuck you!” Said Shawn.

“Not quite,” retorted TT.

Harry put a hand on Shawn’s aching shoulder. Every cell in his body ached. He stared down at the lunar landscape that was his new friend’s belly and stroked himself.

“Now it’s time for your reward.” He smiled widely as he and a group of the boys including Tom, TT, and Simpson helped him to his feet and led him groaning back to the frat house.

[drama-rebellion]

Two souls

(A short story about my two souls, living together. One wants to be healthy and productive, the other self-destructive and addicted to the darkness. A story about what the sides borderline look like in my world)

The sky is covered in dark grey clouds. The soft rain creates little rivers flowing down the window. Vala blows the cigarette smoke into the cold air, while she looks down on the empty street, wrapped in her soft blanket, a steaming cup in her hands. Although the heat is running on full power, it’s uncomfortably cold in the little attic apartment she lives in together with her best friend Noxa. The other girl had just woken up and yawns extensively. “Good morning”, Vala greets her, but only gets an incomprehensible grumble as an answer. “Coffee?”. She nods. In the small kitchen she pours a second cup, black as the night. Noxa mumbles a “thanks” and takes a small sip. Her hair is ruffled and she needs to shower. Empty bottles and cans pile up next to her bed. She had slept 13 hours straight. After she puts the coffee on her nightstand, she reaches down and checks the cans. Once she finds one that still seems to contain some beer, she gulps it down and grimaces, then lights a cigarette. Vala sighs, but doesn’t say anything. She accepts her friend like she is. She wishes there was something she could do to help her fight her demons with something else then alcohol, but didn’t judge her if that was the only solution for now. Also she is most creative when a little drunk. Vala had visited her all the time when she was in the hospital, forced to stay sober and she had been completely miserable. But one day, she swears to herself, they would find a different way.

“We have no more beer”, Noxa states. Vala, who had sat down on the couch, laughes. “I told you not to drink all of it yesterday, but you didn’t listen.” The other girl moans. “Yeah”. “You should take a shower. You smell.” “I don’t care, I don’t want to.” It is always hard to motivate Noxa to even the tiniest actions of human life. Like cleaning, doing the laundry or simply taking care of herself. For the first time that day, their two cats emerge from their hiding places. With demanding meows, they walk up and down in front of their food bowl. Vala gets up, puts her empty cup in the dishwasher and gets a can of cat food out of the cupboard. They are running low. While she puts the meat junks in the bowl, she addresses her friend over the shoulder: “If you shower, put on clean clothes and collect all the trash around your bed, I am gonna go to the store with you. We need cat food anyway and the fridge is almost empty too.” The outlook of more alcohol gets Noxa on her feet. Vala sees immediately that she’s quite shaky already, but pulls herself together. The fresh clothes she gets out of the closet don’t match at all, but Noxa doesn’t give a shit about her looks these days. While her friend showers, Vala cleans up the kitchen and gets dressed herself. It’s almost noon by now. Once done, the other girl looks much healthier already, although she didn’t bother to do anything than the absolute necessary. While she puts on her clothes, Vala can see the countless markigs covering every inch of her body, also her ribs are clearly showing. She basically gets all her calories from alcohol, but that doesn't nurish her body. The scars are the relicts of the war she fights with herself. Most of them already turned white and officially Noxa has stopped cutting, but every now and then she still slips up and Vala has to drive her to the hospital to get stitches. Fortunately the last incident of that kind had been over a year ago already, no comparison to the times, when she would cut on a daily basis. Every morning Vala would clean up the blood from the floor, change Noxa’s red stained bed sheets and take care of her wounds. Right now she might be in a bad place, but not nearly as lost as she had once been. Now Vala helps her to pick up the empty bottles and cans, because it’s clearly exhausting her. She needs a little break before putting on her shoes and jacket. "Don't forget your meds", Vala reminds her. Noxa rolls her eyes. "I'll take them when we get back." "No, now! Otherwise you forget." The other girl gives her an annoyed look, but does as asked. Once the anti-depressants, mood-stabilizers, potassium, and a couple of other unpronouncable meds are down her throat, they get ready.

They take the trash and their backpacks, Vala closes the door behind them. Two flights of stairs down and they step outside into the rainy autumn day. The smell of rotten leaves and wet pavement fills the air. “Damn it, is that cold”, Noxa complains. Her friend actually enjoys the weather, but doesn’t tell her that. Without talking they get on their way to the store. It’s not far. There are barely people around. Only some dog walkers with their canine companions, some kids hurrying home from school, an elderly couple hand in hand. Typical life in a small town.

In front of the store they return the empty cans and split up as soon as they step through the door. Both of them have their own shopping list. Vala gets herself some low fat curd, natural yoghurt, various fruits and vegetables, protein chips, smoked tofu and a big coke zero, plus cat food. Noxa on the other hand, arrives at the check out with a six pack of beer and three bottles of wine, some sweets, a frozen pizza and zero cal energy drinks. It’s her usual purchase, although she mostly doesn’t even eat, only when Vala insists. The alcohol works better on an empty stomach, Noxa had once explained to her. Outside the wind has gotten stronger, tearing at their jackets. On the stairs to their apartment, Noxa has to stop twice due to her lack of stamina and the heavy groceries. She tumbles over the doorstep and immediately collapses on the couch, breathing heavily. Vala saves herself a comment. They’ve had this conversation so many times before. Instead she gets rid of her shoes and carries the two bags into the kitchen, putting the cooled stuff in the fridge. With some curd and half a mango, she prepares her breakfast, or rather lunch. Meanwhile Noxa has gotten out of her jacket too and pulls two cans out of her backpack. Both sit on the couch, Vala with her fruit salad and Noxa with her beer and energy drink. With a fizz she opens both, drinks half of the beer in one gulp, flushes down the terrible taste with energy. Once Vala had asked her, why she drinks it if it tastes so horrible. “I don’t do it for the taste. Beer and wine are cheap, the good stuff way too expensive for wasting it on casual day drinking”. Makes sense. “Wanna watch something?” Vala asks. “Yeah sure.” “And what?” “Don’t care”. That is probably Noxa’s most used phrase, because she actually doesn’t care about anything much anymore. Vala should be offended, but she isn’t. She knows that her friend isn’t doing it on purpose. She has her wars to fight and her demons eat her alive. Vala only tries to help as much as she can, watch over her, sometimes admitting her to the hospital when she really is close to stumble over the edge, but that hadn’t been the case in quite some time. It just makes her sad to see Noxa fading away everyday a bit more. There had been a time she was an actually happy and positive person, but that’s long ago, nothing more than an echo from the past. So often Vala asks herself, what went wrong, what had happened to her best friend and if there had been anything she could have done to prevent her from getting so bad. The guilt is misplaced, but she can’t help feeling this way. Vala gives her best to get her out of her hole every now and then, but barely succeeds. The pull of the shadows on her is too strong. Now Noxa just stares blankly at the TV where a documentary is flickering over the screen. Absently she pets the cat next to her, sometimes taking some sips from her beer, or smoking a cigarette.

In the early evening, Vala prepares her dinner. While cutting vegetables and the tofu, she can hear her friend sapping through the program in the other room. While the oven is heating up, she takes a short shower herself and switches into her comfy sweatpants. Although she knows that Noxa isn’t gonna eat much, she unwraps the frozen pizza and puts it in the oven along with her veggies. In the living room she is surprised to see that Noxa has her I Pad on her knees and is drawing something. She hasn’t done that in days. Her inspiration is very inconsistent, but the results not less admirable. While waiting for the food to be ready, Vala cleans up the room a little bit. Collects empty wrappers, cigarette stumps, empties the ashtray and sweeps through the room with a broom. It’s already quite dark outside, so she lights the dozen candles scattered everywhere as well as a scent stick, and puts on the fairy lights. It’s a pretty cozy ambience. She gets the metal plates out of the oven, piles veggies on one plate, the pizza on another. After slicing it, she puts it in front of Noxa on the living room table. “Eat”, she tells her, like a mother to her toddler. “Don’t feel like it”, she says and drinks some wine instead. “Come on, please. At least a bit”. Noxa sighs, but gives in. After it cools down a bit, she even eats two slices, while Vala enjoys her own meal. The evening passes by without anything special happening. The two girls are even quieter than usual. Sometimes, when Noxa has drunk enough, she gets quite talkative. Then she rumbles about the most unusual facts and drifts away in nostalgia, memories of happier days. At the moment she is still busy with her I Pad and once she’s done she shows Vala her latest work, who had been waiting excited already. The picture shows a faceless monster of some kind with a crown of thorns on its head. It’s disturbing, but also beautiful. “Very good, I love it”, Vala says. She is very creative herself, but more into words than drawing, although she hasn’t written anything in a while now. Her thoughts are too clouded. This dark void hovers over them for days now. There are these times. Every night, when Vala goes to sleep, she hopes that tomorrow will be better, but it rarely is. Noxa is quite drunk by now, puts her I Pad away, mumbles a “good night” and tumbles into bed. Vala smokes one last cigarette. Silently she watches the night outside the window and without even realizing, she starts crying. Hot and salty the tears roll down her cheeks, while she wonders if life will always be this way. If they will ever be alright.

[transmalewife]

since i've seen several posts with witty comebacks mocking people about this, no, actually, you do not have to drink water specifically. in fact, drinking nothing but water (esp. filtered water) can be dangerous in high temperatures, since it doesn't have the electrolytes you need to live and that you'll be sweating out.

drinking anything is gonna keep you hydrated and it is way, way better than nothing, which is what people are gonna drink if you tell them that only water counts.

whether you don't like the taste, don't have access to clean water, even if you love drinking water but just can't stomach it without flavor in the amounts needed in this heat (that's me btw). you can and in fact should drink other stuff also

Sports drinks are full of electrolytes, juice has vitamins and calories that you'll need if you lose your apetite because of the heat, coffee is high in potassium and is sometimes reccomended to people with low blood pressure (and heat can apparently lower it further. not a doctor not medical advice. but you know. there are reasons to drink things that aren't water). a slushie's gonna cool you down, beer has magnesium, potassium and sodium (not super high but decent compared to other beverages, and especially compared to water) and non alcoholic beer is my favorite way to stay hydrated in the summer. boiling water to make tea is pretty much necessary if you dont have perfectly clean drinking water, can also add some flavor and prevent your cat from drinking from your glass of water.

Basically, anything other than hard liquor is great and is gonna keep you hydrated and you should drink whatever liquids you can. don't let people make you feel guilty about how you're staying hydrated and alive and remember that pretty much any beverage you can imagine is 90% water with stuff floating in it

[worldofwardcraft]

Your MAGA-to-normal translator.

September 12, 2024

Right-wing weirdos communicate by means of linguistic constructs that may sound like English, but are essentially another language altogether. MAGA cult members often employ these words as dog whistle pejoratives targeted at anybody not in their ideological bubble. So, as a public service for those of you trying to figure out what in tarnation these red-hat idiots are talking about, we herewith present a glossary of MAGA terminology.

Antifa — A mythical militia group of bloodthirsty radical leftists that is responsible for every undesirable event that happens in America.

Critical Race Theory — MAGAs prefer to define this academic concept that racism is embedded in our legal systems and policies as basically Black history. They also consider it vitally important to prevent school children from knowing about it. Especially America's legacy of slavery.

DEI — To cultists, these initials don't mean pursuing "diversity, equity and inclusion," but rather employing people of color or women (both by definition unqualified) with bad results sure to follow. For example, when Silicon Valley Bank collapsed in 2023 due to a classic bank run by its customers, right-wingers said the bank’s focus on DEI was the reason. Lately, however, they've turned DEI into an all-purpose MAGA synonym for the N-word, as when Vice President Kamala Harris is referred to as a "DEI hire."

Make America Great Again — Shorthand for "Trump is our nation's heaven-sent savior!"

Pro-life — Forcing women to give birth, even if it kills them. Or, as Rep. Jahana Hayes of Connecticut explained, referring to a Republican abortion ban, "This has always been about controlling women’s bodies and criminalizing healthcare for women in need.”

Right to Work — In theory, laws protecting workers from being forced to join a union (which is already illegal). But really, according to the AFL/CIO website, laws making it harder "for working people to form unions and collectively bargain for better wages, benefits and working conditions."

School Choice — Despite high-flown rhetoric about freedom and parental rights, this phrase actually refers to the longstanding conservative goal of destroying public education and transferring taxpayer money to private (Christian) schools.

Voter Fraud — Although its actual occurrence is rare, invariably the root cause whenever a Republican loses an election.

Woke — A universal descriptor for anything MAGAs don't approve of. Such as when Bud Light hired a trans woman to promote their low-calorie beer. See also: woke mind virus.

Following the time-tested procedures of propaganda, Republicans repeat these terms over and over, hoping to influence and manipulate us ordinary, everyday Americans. It doesn't work, of course. Because we're, well, normal.