#low and behold... it was the issue. and i got better

[chxrrysangel]

Thinking really hard about Mr. Logan Howlett this week. Haven’t even watched Deadpool & Wolverine yet but the Hugh Jackman renaissance is making me FERAL.

ANYWAYS

Logan has always been a hands on kind of guy. Always the “better to do it yourself than trust someone else” you know? So when your dear next neighbor has some car issues, he refuses to call up the local mechanic.

It’s summer, 90+ degrees outside and humid like a motherfucker. On what’s typically a quiet morning during days like this, too hot for even the local kids to venture outside, you hear some clinking and what sounds oddly enough like a drill. Peeking through the curtains, your eyes scan the mostly empty street to see Logan bent over the hood of his car.

And he’s shirtless.

Even from this distance, you can see his flushed skin glisten with sweat as he works. You fall into a daze, how could you not? It would take being blind to not notice how hot your neighbor was, and your brain never failed to forget it. His jeans hung somewhat low on his hips, hugging his strong thighs in a way that made anyone salivate with need. His back muscles were a sight to behold, straining and shifting as he worked.

He wiped the sweat off his brow, turning around to lean against the bumper. You panicked, ducking your head out of his sight. You angled yourself in a way that would hopefully obscure your compromising position, decreasing your chances of a potential complaint. From this new position, you found it even harder to move away from the window. He was perfect chiseled and toned, almost as if he was crafted by the gods themselves.

“Fucking hell,” you whispered.

The longer you stared was the more flushed you felt, unable to pull away as he moved to work under the car. The two of you hadn’t spoken more than a minute at a time, but his charming demeanor quickly enticed you. Just then, you got an idea.

Scrambling to the kitchen and almost slipping on the hardwood, you gathered your ingredients. By the looks of it, he’d be outside for quite a while. What kind of neighbor would you be if you didn’t offer him a drink?

A little bit later, you stood in front of the mirror trying to work up some courage. Giving yourself a little pep talk and a little minute shot of liquid courage, you ventured outside with a tray and the brightest smile you could muster. Upon hearing your footsteps and the soft clinks of ice, he turned around before you had the chance to call out.

And he smiled, canines on full display and cheekbones puffy with glee.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Your cheeks heat up at his compliment, feeling bashful.

“Stop, you’re too kind.”

“Never that,” he retorted with a wink. He points to the strawberry printed tray in your arms.

“Some of that for me?”

“As a matter of fact, it is. Thought you could use a drink.” He gushed, taking the tall glass cup gratefully. You set down the pitcher and tray on his tool kit, planning to come back for it later.

“Well uh…call me if you need anything else yeah?”

He didn’t respond at first, choosing that moment to make your escape before you ran your mouth.

“Wait.” You paused mid-step, turning back to face him.

“I could use some company…if you don’t mind that is.”

“No, no. I’d like that,” you responded, stumbling over your words.

“Yeah?,” he said with a boyish surprise in his tone. You assured him with a nod and smile.

“Lemme get you a seat then. Be right back.” You watched as he wiped the grease off his hands, jogging past you to get a chair from inside. Even covered in sweat and grime, he was hottest man you’ve ever seen.

[staarjeelly]

i'm not necessarily a hater but i would still love to hear your thoughts on the httyd live action trailer

first of all, thank you so much for asking but i must warn you that i'm not going to shut up about it now.

i've given this a lot of thought and i think i might've gone a little bit overboard (sorry not sorry). so, behold;

my (probably unfinished) list of reasons as to why i’m sure the httyd live action is going to be shit

i really don’t think there’s another way to start this list: characterization. we can all agree that (as far as we’ve seen), they didn’t get anyone right. starting off with hiccup, and with all due respect to mason thames, that is NOT how he was supposed to look. hiccup was an outcast, a runt, a late developer, a “nuisance”, if you will. he is depicted as this scrawny looking child that wasn’t even able to hold an axe properly and that would never, ever become what a viking should be. and he isn’t any of that in the remake. he isn’t meant to be hiccup, and it’s painfully obvious. stoick is worth a mention, because i didn’t expect to be this underwhelmed with his character when i knew that gerard butler was going to play him, but here we are. i understand the decision to cast him as stoick, no one else could ever live up to the standard of that role, but i can’t see stoick when i look at him. for the rest, i can’t say much, since i haven’t seen how they decided to characterize them, but something i can say is that the people out there being racist towards nico parker should just keep their mouths shut. 

the way they designed toothless honestly just makes me mad. i’ve seen a lot of people complaining about this same issue, and i wish i could use all of their points and arguments, to be honest. i just have one thing to say. what did they do to my boy?? he looks so unbelievably bad. as far as i’ve seen, his proportions are weird, his wings look like they’re made out of leather and he doesn’t have any of his markings, scars, nothing. every detail that added depth to his design is gone. i saw someone say that he looks like that horrible pez dispenser and now i can only think of that. to me, he just looks like a toad. the rest of the dragons aren’t much better, either. they are recognizable, yeah, but the second they appear on the trailer doesn’t say much. pretty sure they are going to be as underwhelming as toothless. 

(this is what i was talking about)

another thing that i’m sure is going to happen is that they’re going to depict the scenes so miserably. the downed dragon scene?? like?????? it was one of the deepest, most telling (and for me) nerve-wracking scenes in the whole movie. i remember watching it when i was little (and not so little), seated at the end of my seat, leaning towards the screen in complete awe. the music, lighting, atmosphere… i got goosebumps every time i saw how the camera moved from toothless lying body, how it passed over his wing and stopped right above his open eye. i’m feeling those same chills just thinking about it. and in the trailer and the leaks, it just looks like a national geographic documentary. it feels nothing like the original, and i know that being a copy of the original isn’t its point but like. try a little harder. (i don’t even want to think about how test flight or forbidden friendship are going to be, but i’m scared)

the movie itself just looks bland. the backgrounds look straight out from a walmart commercial, costumes look tacky, and it just doesn’t look like berk. to me, it seems like they tried to create some kind of cartoony atmosphere?? it obviously didn’t work, and that’s what i guess makes the movie look cheap. like it’s some low cost rip-off. and given the budget they had, i hoped we would get berk in all of its glory. they failed in capturing that feeling that the animated trilogy has, that comfort and warmth that almost wants to make you jump into the screen to live amongst dragons. and i’m so bummed because of that. 

this is one of my BIGGEST issues with this movie. because it’s not like we wanted the movie in the first place. i’m sick and tired of hollywood, dreamworks, whoever’s been involved in this monstrosity, thinking that what we want is another shitty cgi live action. i’m sick and tired of animation not being treated as a serious form of portraying media, because it is!! we have so many examples of good animation, with touching stories and fantastic writing in the past years!! arcane, the spiderverse movies, nimona… and i could keep going! animation should be boosted instead of pushed under a bunch of live actions no one asked for!!!! and i’m so mad about this!!!

and the final, and i think most important issue with this movie is that httyd DIDN’T need a live action. yes, i know that the ending they chose for the films isn’t the best, yes i know it isn’t the best piece of media there is (at least for the people that aren’t fans), but it was enough! the characters were well written, the storyline was moving, the scenes, music, writing… i still remember when i was four, 2010, and my dad took me to the cinema to watch it for the first time. i remember leaving that movie theater with my mind completely blown away. and that feeling of… love and nostalgia has only grown over the years. which is why i’m so mad about all of this. i didn’t want the live action. i don’t want one of my favorite pieces of media to be turned into this cash grab nonsense. i don’t want it to be ruined. 

so, yeah. i think that’s about it. i apologize again because this is like super long, but i had to get it out of my system. and tsym for asking <333

[navree]

I saw your post and got super worried because I assumed it was the artist I've loved since they started here on tumblr. So, I went on the dreaded 🐦 app and low & behold, stan culture ruins things once again! Kinda glad I wasn't around during the heyday of GOT because it must've been absolutely insufferable! 😖😖😖

Fandom during GOT's prime must have been insane already, but I do think it's gotten worse in recent years. There used to be the unspoken rule of "if you've got nothing nice to say don't say anything at all" that appears to have completely vanished from fandom spaces. Cuz if I see a post with an opinion I don't like/agree with, or fanart of a character I don't care for, or fic of a ship that I dislike, I'm not gonna leap down OP's throat about it. I'm just gonna scroll, maybe vague post about it on another app (I've vague posted about some dumb Twitter opinions on here on occasion), and then move on. But this idea that, if someone doesn't like the same things you like, they're not only morally reprehensible but personally committing some kind of wrong against you specifically is insane. It's more than that trend I've mentioned about trying to equate fandom with morality, it is, as I said in the tags of that post, something that reeks of insecurity. There's a bunch of people in varying fandom spaces that feel that their own opinions simply must be validated, because their opinions are correct, but it's not enough for them to think it, other people need to think it too.

And it's an issue that has dominated Team Black in HOTD specifically. Cuz I'm not seeing it from Rhaenicents, from Greens, even from show casuals. It's diehard Team Black and primarily TB book purists at that who find Rhaenicent fanart (especially ones that take Emma D'Arcy's actual appearance into account), or Team Green posts, or even regular posts expressing any sort of appreciation for Team Green actors or sympathy for some of the characters (especially Alicent or Helaena) and just lose their minds. Insult the poster or the artist, deride actor's appearances, weaponize actual political language to support their point despite no real tangible thread of connection ('killing Lucerys is basically femicide' omegas aren't a real thing and killing that boring ass boy is not, in fact, femicide, there are actual femicides happening in the real world right now, focus on those), and get hopping mad at the fact that these varied posts exist. It's greed to an almost biblical proportion tbf, it's not enough that most show casuals agree with their opinions, that most people with both book and show knowledge are on their side, that the narrative of the show supports their views (in the Jaehaera art thing specifically, that canon dictates she's gonna die and that Daenaera and Aegon are gonna be married and have a reasonably happy married life). Everyone needs to be on their side, nobody had better dare have opposing views to their's. And if those opposing views exist, well then those people have earned all the nastiness that's gonna get thrown their way for having those opposing views.

Like, you're that insecure? You need everyone to agree with you in order to hold fandom opinions? You can't just like something for your own reasons and ignore people who don't agree? Other people, people who don't even know you exist, hold that much power over you? Team Black, are you guys really so pathetically weak?

Anyway, fuck people who tag butch Rhaenicent art with snippy "Daemicent!!!" quote tweets, fuck people running TG fanartists off of social media because you can't handle drawings, fuck people going up to actors and saying vile shit to them based on their characters, fuck everyone who tries to be an asshole about Olivia's looks or TGC's looks or Phia's looks, and fuck stan culture. Everyone's who's so deranged about their fictional opinions that they act nasty to real human beings should simply find the nearest noose and hang themselves by the neck until dead, the world will be an infinitely better place and no one will miss them.

[jmdbjk]

[...aggressively posts the thoughts of boss man of JIMIN FANCLUB...]

There he is! Yes, it is Chief Executive/Chief Hypeman (not to be confused with Hybe... puh-lease)/Chief ball-juggler/the one and only Jeon Jungkook... [applause APPLAUSE applause] thank you, thank you very much.

[also aggressively crops out the weverse logo]

Some of us were reticent to speak out loud about whether JK would do a live (because Jimin left the country) for fear of being called delulu... but when we all came online... lo and behold... everyone else had the same thoughts... As everyone is saying... two is a coincidence but three times? It's a thing y'all.

It's also not a coincidence that he was playing a Muni Long song in his underwear folding live last month. We should all learn by now, when it comes to Jimin and Jungkook, there are no coincidences.

I love the way he mangled the rap parts! He's one of us!

Is it just me or does that ray of light traveling up the side of his head give Like Crazy MV vibes?

He sang and hummed Angel Pt. 1 intermittently between other songs and chatting throughout this live.

I noticed a few changes in Kook's surroundings and I wonder, since the stalker food delivery scare, I wonder if they've come up with some new guidelines for broadcasting lives from their homes? Use an opaque drink container; point the camera away from areas that show personal affects; keep the volume low enough that you don't disturb your neighbors (this makes me laugh because he has been notorious for potentially disturbing the peace for YEARS!). He received a "semi" complaint. Semi...

Imagine having the retched luck of buying/renting an expensive and very nice apartment in a very nice part of the city... and your punk neighbor is constantly playing loud music/singing in the wee hours of the morning? (have no fear neighbor, he won't be living there forever).

Not a coincidence when Jimin was cautious about being too loud in his own apartment during his #1 BB100 live at 3:30 a.m. Why? He knew that JK received this semi-complaint. If they aren't together, they are surely up in each other's DMs all day. I digress.

I wonder if Kookie is finally listening and following a few of these guidelines? We won't call them rules because I think to Kookie they are just "strongly recommended suggestions" quote/unquote. But perhaps its time he heeds some of these suggestions. I know Hobi would be proud.

Except he was belting out Taeyang's song so he forgot he was supposed to be keeping the volume low hahahahaha.

Kookie cooking a lot lately, gaining weight, no big deal, he can just lose the weight (after all he's a 25 year old male with a mesomorph body type). He says he is back to working out and having to "kind of" have to go back to maintaining his body. His right shoulder is giving him a little issue with tightness but it needs to get better quickly because.... he didn't say.

He reminds us he's not on that old dusty boring Instagram app anymore but he looks at weird and wild TikTok these days (lord help us). But is probably where he saw the Jimin Summoning challenge.

He saw a comment "We're so sorry"... does this mean Weverse Armys finally got the memo about being total dumbasses in the comments in the past and are cleaning up their act now?

Songs he listened to/sang today: Charlie Puth x Dan+Shay: That's Not How This Works; Imase: Night Dancer (JK made a comment that they needed to make songs like this); Taeyang: Seed (In Your Heart); Seventeen: Son Wukong; Taeyang: Shoong!; TWICE: Cupid; Seventeen: Let's Fight.

This made me laugh (turn up the volume):

He mentions Hobi finishing his basic training...

He let out a decidedly resigned sigh and said:

And then he did an military marching chant... and it just occurred to me... JK would make a good drill leader. If that's even a thing?

Right, Kookie... we'll never notice... we'll just be bawling our eyes out every time we see it get shorter and shorter knowing what's coming.

Overall, he looked upbeat and in a very good mood, no low points or withdrawn moments. A lot has happened between the last time we saw him live and now. It seems like he's in a very good and positive frame of mind. He said he would be back soon.

I will leave you with Kookie butt-wiggling in his chair:

[eddie-brii]

So funny headcanon and a little drabble I have related to Jalim, some canon divergence here.

During quarantine together Jason asked Salim to teach him Arabic, in an attempt to awkwardly flirt as well as try to strengthen their relationship. At first the lessons were simple, both of them working on it in private until Jason had gotten a little better, his Montana twang making it difficult.

It was all going well until they had started working on it after a meal one evening, the other survivors around, low and behold they managed to catch some unwanted attention.

"So got any good dirty talk in that gibberish?" Merwin had a wicked grin on his face when he asked.

"I beg your pardon?" Salim looked confused and startled at the older marines intrusion. Jason dropped his head in hand, mortified at his subordinates behavior and tried to hide the blush starting in his cheeks. The question had caused a switch to flip in Jason's head, his brain imagining Salim's voice in his ear, whispering in Arabic. He did not need that right now.

"don't play innocent, can't tell me you've never had a pretty little thing call you daddy before in bed." A look of shock took over Salim's face as he realized what the vulgar man was implying, however, before he could reply Jason spoke up.

"Corporal Merwin, remove yourself from this conversation before you further offend our friend here."

"Aww, since when you care bout offending someone, LT?"

"May I remind you Lieutenant Othman here not only greatly assisted us but saved your sorry ass in the hut?" Salim saw a glint in Jason's eye before he continued to speak. "Besides, I wasn't aware that you needed to spice things up between you and Lance Corporal Gomez.

The last part had Merwin sputtering as laughter filled the common area from most of the other members of the group. Rachel had proceeded to continue where Jason had left off and thankfully distracting everyone from the two sitting in the corner. They made little progress as they both enjoyed the sudden lively atmosphere, Jason also grateful for the change as didn't want to dwell on the thoughts Merwin question had conjured up.

Unfortunately, later that evening he found he mind drifting back to the early conversation when Salim knocked on his door to finish what they had started. They had been at it for an hour before it was made apparent that Jason's heart wasn't in it.

"Is it the question your comrade asked earlier?" Jason's attention was drawn back to Salim at his words, he wasn't even aware when his brain started to drift, but he took the out instead of admitting what was on his mind.

"Merwin lacks social skills. I'm sorry if he offended ya by asking that shit, it was way outta line."

"It was no issue, I believe I've gotten somewhat used to his... Blunt manner." Salim shifted in his seat before continuing. "I had been more worried he suspected the.... newer nature of our relationship."

"I highly doubt that he would care beyond having some ammunition to fire at me." Jason turned his head down, staring at the bunk they were seated on. He didn't have his hat to hide behind as he felt Salim's eyes bore into him suddenly. The older man's hand came to his chin, making Jason meet his gaze.

"Though it does beg the question if you've learned enough to understand me should I try "dirty talk" as he put it." Jason's eyes went wide as his jaw dropped, Salim looked far too pleased with himself at the marines reaction. Jason recovered enough to close his mouth and swallow before replying.

"Only if you teach me what you want me to scream."

So just to clarify, I don't headcanon Joey and Merwin together. I think the ship is cute but I headcanon Joey as 19 or 20 with Merwin being 35. Plus I really like the brotherly dynamic between them.

[magnoliamyrrh]

i find the whole conversation around self-dxing to be interesting too because while self-dxing can indeed be dangerous and bad, on the other hand i am also quite anti-psychiatry, if youve got something youve obviously got it without a diagnosis, and getting a diagnosis can be hard af

like idk i think way too many ppl push this "go get therapy go get professional help and evaluation!!!" thing all the time. as if many therapists and psychs arent stupid af, as if they cant be wrong, as if they cant further traumatize someone, as if they can't be smart and kind ppl but Still get things wrong. and as if the entire psych system for the most part isnt fucked in manyyy ways...... like... yea, if you can and find a good one go i guess depending on circumstance... but you better take everything they say with a grain of salt too, wtf

.... yes teenagers and in general young ppl self diagnoing themselves with 2000 things is harmful. they may be doing it either for attention, because its cool and trendy, bc theyve actually got histrionic or mauchausens, bc theyre pathologizing normal human reactions, or bc theyve not done enough actual research and went off of articles which explain things in such a way that frankly most humans would relate. or they may confuse disorders among each other, or they may not be pragmatic enough abt it. yes this is a huge issue. weve got 20000 teenagers and young adults and even some adults running around saying theyve got turrets or did or autism or bpd or ocd or whatever the hell is trendy. psych wards for symptoms and conditions (which are themselves often imperfect) have been watered down to an extreme and are thrown around. therapy talk is being used to make excuses for behavior which should not be excused

...... at the same time. yea self diagnosis isnt inherently harmful all the time. the ppl who say otherwise and are 2000% certain only docs can tell u shit arent skeptical enough of docs. with some things its obvious. i didnt need any doctor to tell me i had anorexia nervosa or bulimia lmaoooo that shit was obvious and clear as day. i didnt need to be told i had bpd, i caught on at a young age i had it, and bc i neither could go to therapy nor wanted to, i spend years understanding that disorder on every which side and way and recovering from it myself. it saved my life. i dont even wanna know how bad things would have been if i didnt accept i had that and understood it - and yea, i didnt need no doctor to tell me to know. and low and behold, docs agree i used to have bpd, still hsve some symptoms, but have mostly recovered from it. funnily enough i caught onto having some sort of osdd/did years ago, than denied it completely to myself for years, than i couldnt ignore it and deny it anymore. ended up getting a diagnosis for that too. :/ i figured i had adhd for years on end but docs either thought it was something else or i wouldn't bring it up much. low and behold i have a diagnosis and the high doses of adhd meds i can handle without feeling st all "drugged out" are proof that i do actually have adhd

if anything lmaoo i have personal experience with having a crazy psych. a woman who mistook cptsd&osdd/did for bipolar disorder, gave me drugs literally illegally which ate at my body and told me not to tell anyone, and also yelled at me that i was crazy. had a therapist who thinks being molested makes ppl homosexual and that step-parent sexual attraction is normal on some level.....;;;; like;;;;;;..... yea. the psychs and therapists arent some sort of final say people. they can be crazy and they can be wrong

and the idea that Inherently someone with bpd, or did/osdd or whatever else Cant Know of their disorder before being told (tho the latter was actually suggested to me many yrs ago by someone) is just. wrong and harmful frankly. yea in some cases pls dont know, or theyre in extreme denial (like with anorexia). but not with all. not with all. 👀 my psychs found it surprising how self aware i was, impressive, but they did not think this was some sort of disqualification

idk. yea. like. theres definetely issues around self-dex especially in the hell were living today but acting like its Always Inherently Bad and Will Never Help and docs are some sort of authority who are the only ones with some say... ,,,, yeaaaa. no. that's also dangerous

[the-earth-refused-to-die]

They could prescribe you any illness you'd like

If you define the terms of your ailments

You could sing a pretty malady like a black canary

But a crow don't know the smell of carbon monoxide

^ Judith starting to lose faith in the resistance, and seeing everyone else's optimism ^

How many years have you been on that couch

They could've quilt'd you in the throws by now

You draw a line in the sand where it ends and you begin

But the tide rolls in, so who knows? Oh well

^ Talking to Breen, catching on to his problem with identity ^

And a little identity never hurt nobody

But lately you've been focusing too much on yourself

So how many milligrams of you are still left in there

^ Judith looking at herself, starting to get worried that by joining the Combine she's going to lose herself ^

Cause back in my day we didn't need no feel-good pills and no psychiatrists

No, we just drank ourselves to death, and god damn it, we liked it

^ Talking to Alyx, and getting very frustrated with her questions because like. Obviously she wants to know where Judith has been going. ^

Who makes the call? What's a symptom, what's a flaw

Can it be both? Well I suppose that's an answer

Would you give up your humanity for just a touch of sanity

Cause God knows it's not like it's cancer

^ Back to Breen, starting to get a bit sarcastic about his choice (and deflecting her own guilt onto pity for him) ^

And good news to the purists: they've discovered a cure

For the symptoms of being alive

It's a painless procedure with a low rate of failure

But very few patients survive

^ Hahn taking Judith to see the experiments, and Judith is trying so hard to feel something about it. ^

And a little conformity never hurt nobody

But lately I've been worried that you're losing yourself

So how many milligrams of you are still left in there

^ Back at Breen, still seeing his personal decay ^

Cause back in my day we didn't need no feel-good pills and no psychiatrists

No, we just bled out in our bath, and god damn it, we liked it

^ I dunno mate ^

Doctor, what's my prognosis if the studies show that

Disease is in the eye of the beholder

Tell me "so it goes"

We depress to impress, I guess

In layer after layer to get off our chests

It's cold out now, we can take it off later

Better safe than sorry, and we both know the danger

^ Judith at Eli, trying to connect to him again ^

So doctor, could you run another test

Got a feeling that this time I might just pass it

Well, if you raise the average

We'll all sing when the bell curve rings

In lyrics symptomatic of the way we think

If our harmonies don't sync, we can change our voices

A chorus on condition of our diagnosis

^ Thinking about her double crossing, starting to struggle with issues about herself and how she changes from place to place ^

Back in my day we didn't need no feel-good pills and no psychiatrists

What can I say, except don't heed no evil wills of moral nihilists

I said, "Back in the days of lobotomies and shock therapy and mad scientists

Oh don't you make me waste my breath. God damn it"

^ Judith during the office scene, finally snapping and jumping in to save Eli because she can't stand Breen anymore ^

Ain't your you-dentity at stake

Does aspirin kill you with the pain

You're not your thoughts, you're not your brain

You're just the character you've made

Up in your head, down in your heart

What seem like separate body parts

Come together to believe they're you

And not just chemistry

It's not the way that you were raised

Or what the advertisements say

Not what you pay for, what you pray for

What you want, or what you say

And I see your tendency to redefine disease by what you need

And I'm afraid I can't prescribe the diagnosis that you seek

And something tells me that you need

Forgive me now if I misspeak

But something tells me that you like

And something tells me

You prefer

To be sitting there flipping through those old issues of People

Well that's our time, see you next week

^ Judith at pretty much everyone, just...releasing all those emotions she kept under wraps to keep herself and the people she cares about safe. ^

OOOOOOOOOO YEAH!! I LOVE THIS

[realmackross]

PARTIES: @realmackross TIME: Evening, September 17th SUMMARY: Mackenzie gives Taylor a little phone call over some social media issues. WARNINGS: None! PREVIOUS THREADS:1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Current.

“Social media is not a media. The key is to listen, engage, and build relationships.” - David Alston

Taylor. Mackenzie was going to murder her. Not literally, but still. The warning Winter had given Mackenzie right before she left had sat stewing in her brain for a day or so, before she had finally decided to look into things. And low-and-behold, what did she find? Someone had indeed been posting for her. Just another headache to worry about with the slew of other things she had been dealing with.

The phone rang and it rang again, until, "Hey Mack. What's going on? Everything still okay?"

Mackenzie was fuming. But yet, she had still understood why her assistant had done it. Mack had a persona to keep up to the world and not just to Wicked's Rest, which she had sometimes forgotten, especially when things had seemed like they were finally going right for a brief minute or so. But there were delicate things happening with people like Cass, who now thought that Mackenzie didn't want to be her friend. Of course, Taylor didn't know that Mackenzie had fallen over a balcony and went splat in front of a room full of people. But Mack had figured she was doing the already overly stressed woman a favor.

"Hey, so, just curious...Have you been posting stuff on my social media accounts?" Her jaw was clenched as she held back the urge to yell. Mackenzie didn't yell at Taylor. She never really had, except for the night they were cleaning up the Brody incident. But that was out of fear, stress, and so much more.

"What?" Taylor paused knowing that Mackenzie wasn't happy. She had been her assistant for nearly a decade now. A friendship and partnership longer then Mack had known Winter.

"Taylor, don't act dumb. I know you have. Winter told me." Mackenzie knew how much the pair didn't get along, so double checking first had been as much of a service to her assistant as it had been anything else. "Look, I'm not...okay, I'm mad. Those are my private accounts. You have control over the public ones. And I'm fine with that, but I have friends on there who now think I don't like them, and you know how hard it is for me to find genuine friendships with my status." Mackenzie took in a deep breath holding for nearly a minute, before letting it out very slowly, "I know you're just trying to do damage control, and I appreciate that. I do. But those people I can handle, okay? So just, stop. I'll be home in a few days. I'm feeling much better. The public socials look great. And I'm so sorry you've had to get wrapped up in all of this with me again. I'm honestly surprised you've still stuck with me through all of this, and I don't know how I can ever repay you for that. But I'm okay. Alright. Just don't worry about the follow-up to any conversations. I'll handle it when I get home."

Taylor had stayed quiet. She had felt bad, but had also felt somewhat frustrated. All she had done, ever since the zombie fiasco had started, was take care of Mackenzie. Make sure her secret had been kept safe, and that's all she had been trying to do this past week, considering her boss and so-called friend had kept her in the dark more and more since coming to Wicked's Rest. There had almost been a part of her that wanted to say 'fuck it'. Out Mackenzie for what she was and what she had done, but she couldn't. Partly because she would probably go down with the zombie, but also, because they had just been through so much together and Mackenzie had still meant something to her. Whether or not that held true on the other side of the friendship, she wasn't sure anymore. But Taylor reluctantly replied back, "Yeah, got it Boss. Glad to know you're doing okay. Just let me know when you're back, and I'll catch a flight out to see you."

Hearing the click, Mackenzie's eyes dropped. She could tell that Taylor was upset. The defeat in her voice had made the zombie feel even worse than she already was, and she would now be adding Taylor to Apology Tour 2023.

Laying the phone down on the nightstand, she slid down in the bed and pulled one of the pillows over her face. Letting out a loud scream as hard as she could into the fabric pressed tightly to her face, Mackenzie had wanted to disappear. The talk with Alex from the day before going out the window and into the abyss, at least until Mackenzie could find the courage to go back home to Harborside and face the absolute nightmare her life continued to become.

[rmfantasysetpieces1]

Here is the thing about jabs, Real Madrid is top of laliga. MCFC isn't top of england. Real Madrid have spent all season finding a balance that Guardiola publicly stated was found so...the jibe is... low, and i recall Viniciusjr looking at it shaking his head up and down and loe and behold viniciusjr had a great game, he should had four assist without question but his teammates.. cough mbappe didn't seem in the mood to finish the easy.

THOUGHTS AS I WATCHED THE GAME

Real Madrid vs MCFC 02/11/2025

My thoughts

This referee, i see him in ligue1 a lot, he is funny. I don't care for him. Remember, refereeing isn't about wrong or right, the rule book allows ref interpretation to be 100% acceptable. So the wrong right argument is nonexistent. But you can say you don't concur with ref's choices and the ref for this match, he is a funny one, consistency with him, rough.

4:03 that is why you have mendy, a defensively honest player, mendy has never bombed forward, he offers himself as a valve.

And again, the attacking players of real madrid never use the overlap anyway. So, if a player in front of you never losses the overlap, then they want their dribble to be the determining factor and that means you stand back

Saved by the poor positioning of Vini, or slow passing to vini.

6:45 come on mbappe, hold up the ball,damn, cr7 style players are something else, always getting away with poor hold up play.

7:59 I look at the replay , that is a foul on mbappe from the mcfc player. It is called a hold back:) PEople talk about corrupt refs but I have seen players in the past ten years every match on all sides be held back by the shirt, that is a yellow card so.... I don't think refs ar ecorrupt but I think refs are

10:45 no excuse, first a yellow card retroactive on the mcfc player who fouled Bellingham but Vini gave mbappe the assist,,you have to score that mbappe, you supposed to be the man again, no excuse mbappe.

11:17

I will forgive Mendy , he hasn't taken a strike in the box in months maybe years.

12:29 Rodrygo passed too slowly to Mbappe there

12:55 i said ti, this ref, man, i tell you, he lets fouls go, that is a foul for me, vini is being pushed off, that is a foul man

16:11 so far rodrygo's passing to mbappe is poor tonight.

17:15 MCFC have no movement, real slow, trying to pass through teams is not easy, you need players who can do it on the ball.

18:13 no carvajal/militao/rudiger/vasquez the backline is so makeshift, and MCFC used asencio who some said is a savior. Asensio is the player MCFC focused on, he isn't a better option, got beaten in one sequence to goal twice

22:02 I love how haaland took a breath, in all earnest, Mbappe had the first best change in the match and real madrid had the best opportunities in front of goal with goal scoring players. so mbappe, where you at?

25:05 I don't think the mcfc keeper touched the ball but real got a corner.

28:23 I agree to Bellingham, ceballos what are you doing, there is a free man wide, what are you doing? he took a blast from outside. Asencio, poor marking twice in one sequence of play that led to a goal , ceballos, terrible choice

29:11 it seems like grealish may be out, I am not certain. i think so, seems out of breath, i wonder what. yeah, grealish out for foden, i see him grab his leg. Guardiola said something to him:)

38::14 that moment is the problem when you play a system. MCFC are trying to play out the back with no one with speed, few dribblers, playing out the back with the pass requires a patience, that mcfc don't have. You can see how they lose matches, they are forcing a system and it shows. it isn't the best system for the squad.

40:37 funny how MCFC is playing the patient game xavi tried to get FC Barca to play,

41:49 again, Mbappe positioning

42:54 Valverde is right, that was touched this ref, i have seen him man... he has issues with black players.

43:28 the ref called that but didn't call the push on vini in the box , well ok. This ref let neymar get hacked in france whenever he was the ref. he has biases 100%

45:00 somebody has to be there that should be assist 2 for vini, someone has to be there, Mbappe where you at?

90+1:42 the futbol gods ar ehilarious, another MCFC player on the pitch hmmm, long season, long season.

90 +3:!6 no excuse mbappe, no excuse, that is two clear chances on goal, didn't hit the target with either:) hahaha ahh boy, don't talk about ancelotti or vini let's talk mbappe. he didn't hit the target, whose to blame now? vini?

HALFTIME THOUGHTS

Vini + Rodrygo gave Mbappe two clear chances on goal and he didn't hit the target. So I question the real madrid fans looking at ancelotti/mendy/vini... what role did they have to play in him not hitting the target? ahh boy ok And to be blunt , haaland on the other side is only better cause of the goal Asencio helped in with his positioning. Haaland don't press so while DeBruyne don't run so... mcfc

HALFTIME END, one switch of player for

Asencio begins the half by giving the ball away but real madrid fans are talking about mendy:) amazing

47:01 Tchouameni is the only one who can handle .

48:18 why is vini running like a pack mule, mbappe come on! And people ask why vini want out, he has won everything, with real madrid, he does not have to be mbappe's benzema. Valverde being so deep is hurting the modulation from defense to attack for real madrid

52:31 another Vini assist, vini has provided three assist that haven't even led to the ball hitting the target? mbappe where you at.

54:36 the whole real madrid team is hsutling except mbappe, damn man, vini is running around cutting wide, making great crosses, jude i think has more takes in the midfield and more hold up midfield play than any. Rodrygo has assisted defense as always. camavinga is being a pivot with little support, tchouameni + mendy have made important stops but mbappe hasn't been to task. Ceballos even earned a set piece, though he lost the ball.

59:46 terrible defending by city, who was on Mbappe?

the free kick was poor, but 96 for mcfc kept every one onside, awkward, goal to win, was harder in terms of form than the two who should had scored already but ok, whatever

63:41 the reality is, real madrid have in this match, tons of chances, that are a real madrid player unpressured and they haven't hit the target, no excuse, no excuse. Mbappe/Valverd no excuse to not hit the target, you don't have to score, but when you

65:58 again, no excuse:) Jude, score, chip please, chip please

66:35 again, no excuse, mbappe why can't you see you are offsides ahhhh

67:10 MCFC look done, they are tired, MCFC is tired. they are done, Real Madrid because of their poor finishing can't finish them off.

70:08 someone said, Valverde is doing great as a right back as if Valverde being so deep isn't part of the reason why real madrid's modulation from defense to attack is less sharp... iit amazes me how fans like to place players in positions that causes serious trouble for the team, just to get their style in

76:36 I knew it, this ref:) he didn't call the push on vini but called this on foden, who lost the ball:) hilarious:)

86:11 well first, the MCFC keeper switched allegiances, he passed it to bellingham which is crazy to me, then bellingham finds vini who finds diaz who finds vini, his shot is blocked and mcc who are slow paced all match, slow reacting all match. in all earnest, Ancelotti's strategy has worked all night, the players failed in their finishing. and MCFC to their credit are trying to help Real Madrid win with their passing and possession strategy, they don't move so...

89:39 it is a two legged affair so... this isn't over, camavinga!!!! what a player

90:00 +):37 Ask neymar about this referee he know all about him, this ref in my view, caused many of neymar's injuries cause, he... is biased. the foul on vini plus the foul on bellingham should had been given.

90:00 +1:38

Look at Vini Vidi Vici, Look at the hustle look at the determination, Vini Saint Garrincha, look at that hustle. Bellingham ran it in

FINAL THOUGHTS

First to MCFC, you can see why MCFC have problems. KDB doesn't run he has five or less runs per match, Haaland doesn't press horizontally, he presses in a region. Second city are trying to do guardiola's possession system, but they don't have a arjen robben/eto'o /henry/messi ribery type player. this is a team of midfielders without any true wide players and with no collective speed. The truth is, the first high quality attempt of the match was a n assist that wasn't by viniciusjr to mbapep who flubbed the one on one with the mcfc goalkeeper, the lack of movement in mcfc is the problem. In all sectors they don't move so the possession system requires 100% retaining of the ball. Vini/Bellingham/Camavinga/Rodrygo /Valverde all took the ball and each time they did with Ancelotti's reactive strategy, they had a great chance on goal.

I can see why Guardiola has problems this season, MCFC's squad needs a system set more in their own half, a counterattack bunker. . they can't run with anyone as a group and it shows. if you can't run you can't recover, and risking possession when you can't recover leads to the season mcfc has. Real MAdrid missed two chippings, three one on one's with no pressure.

To Real Madrid, Asencio was the first goal for mcfc, ceballos the second Ancelotti knows the players who are best. And to the rotation, ancelotti would had done it quicker if the real madrid squad finished their chances so...

The only player I have issue with today is Mbappe though. Yes he scored a very acrobatic goal but in cup play, the key is conversion rate, not quantity of goals. Mbappe needs to get to 50% to be what real madrid need, based on this match he is batting 1/7 that is to low . he had seven chances this match one on one with the keeper no pressure and only challenged with one, all the rest didn't hit the target or he flubbed his form, that isn't good enough for the main man. And a shout out to ViniVidiVici who people keep saying need to show up, he has been showing up for three years now.

#rmsoccer

[medical-blitz]

I wake up 25 years later. After 2009

I get life flighted, on my 55th birthday, and it's time to go.

Call 911, ICU 12 DAYS. then what ? Omg on forced oxygen,IV, immediate blood work. Answering questions while face covered with mask!

I was diagnosed with Thyroid Storm, In Atrial Fibrillation and Fast crashing heart failure , I remember being diagnosed with over active thyroid in 2009 for a job physical, I got what was necessary at that time in 2009 to get the job. Then after I got it. And stopped using meds. I really had no follow up appointment, but too the job was 28/14 meaning, your gone and home those amount of days.

I was never consistent in medicine regiments, I wouldn't even finish 7 to 10 day antibiotics, and end up returning to doctor to get a fresh prescription for antibiotics because I felt better after first couple to few days. And for whatever infection or illness would return or never really been gone, so having said that .

I was uneducated about how serious it was to continue and monitor a thyroid issue.

WELL NEVER DO THAT. The thyroid was detrimental to my future health. As it is for anyone.

As I always,remember to mention my earlier diagnosis to anytime I go ER which was rare. Well in 2014, I had an excellent job, best insurance you could imagine at no cost to me or reproccusions of future liens etc.

I was getting a complete , head to toe toe to head inside and out , physical by my own request.

I was feeling great, had a few concerns.

But asked. By any chance was my thyroid checked? I was QUOTE- UNQUOTE Told " your thyroid is fine"

But throughout years I've had small injuries and chest X+rays have been taken and had to return for retaking

They (medical team) showed concern, and then I was cleared saying looked like nodules on your lungs.

So back to 2014 I was told and after ct mri, upper GI, I Had intertial lung disease, and never were prescribed anything to treat or cure or handle emergency breathing issues.

See earlier than 2009 I was having a hard time breathing, sooo I went to doctor and complained of even climbing a set of stairs , I was only 27 at the time. I was told quit smoking. It's your lungs.

I went through life and reached June 4th 2024 almost died because I bloated so bad struggled (understatement) to breath could reach to even wipe after going bathroom, walk nothing my shoes wouldn't even go on my feet.

Away I went. With the lung disease etched in my earlier diagnosis,and scares with spots on my lungs from times before hand. And let me tell you what a scare. Because it was building up over a couple of weeks before I finally couldn't walk 5 feet and felt like passing out. Sitting or rolling over felt as if I just moved mountains. Away I went.

I however explained the 2014 diagnosed issues. And 2009 when my thyroid was mentioned, well I was living actually with Graves disease, never told.

And hyperthyroidism developed, mind you untreated. They immediately checked my TSH,T3-4 and low and behold.

All my symptoms came to the conclusion of why is was in serious medical crisis.

Do not ignore a thyroid diagnosis, I ruined my health.

I was in complete congestive heart failure,Pre-diabetes,thyroid storm. Which is rare. But fatal. And developed TED, which is hyperthyroid eye disease, I have major effects from this. My heart wasn't underlying, it was caused by my not having had stayed on thyroid treatment , and thyroid care or acknowledgment is detrimental to every organ in your body. My cholesterol levels are through the roof, and now I evolved from pre- to type 2 diabetes,Blindness could very well be in my near future or 3-10 years of life span. And now I have more than 19 symptoms from possible one medication or couple combined within last three months. I was developing them soon after my release from my initial hospital stay.

I have not quit smoking. And THAT BY EVERY MEANS NEEDS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, because I may very well be falling back into the danger zone and completely Not having my treatment working correctly, it is a major hold back or set back.

My will power is unbelievably weak, I cherish my life, and it's the hardest to do.

So here's my concerns being set for tomorrow,the next day I'll go the next , um finally made a follow up appointment, finally after four months got the blood work done for digoxin level monitor required action, and oh boy my numbers for more than couple tests needed, I am drowning in high to low all in negative for me.

Procrastinating is not an option, it's a constant struggle as well.

So I'll be at the doctor and find out what exactly is the next step. Besides nicotine, I am slowly but surely in the irreversible side of things if I don't go. I already canceled a week ago.

Results and Further Information will be coming soon. And add some links to further educate how serious it is for untreated Graves disease to hyperthyroidism not being treated.

[outlandishscenarios]

New (fixed) Keychains

so some good news. more good news and a mess for me.

remember I think few weeks back, I had a issue with the keychain makers and I was waiting for a response. Well they did contact me back we spoke and resolved the issue and got it fixed. Now the good news just the other day I received a package, I had no clue was arriving let alone even sent and upon opening it, low and behold I got the fixed versions of the messed up keychains. yayyyy!

but here's the mess- I have extras and my desk only has one drawer that holds all my needed college supplies (textbooks) and art supplies and no other storage for them all not including the 14 missed up ones I have, that they never wanted back.

As such the extra fixed version are going in the shop and would await for a new home if any one want them. Thank you all.

under the cut are their pictures and shop link if you like to get them.

the fixed sun

fixed moon ( the blue dot not an imperfection the holographic effect kept reflecting back when using a better light see image below to see the keychain flipped around to the side with out the holographic effect)

see XD

These would be sold as a set (store link below)

[radxianixe]

THEY COULD PRESCRIBE YOU ANY ILLNESS YOU'D LIKE IF YOU DEFINE THE TERMS OF YOUR AILMENT. YOU COULD SING A PRETTY MALADY LIKE A BLACK CANARY, BUT A CROW DON'T KNOW THE SMELL OF CARBON MONOXIDE. HOW MANY YEARS HAVE YOU BEEN ON THAT COUCH? THEY COULD'VE QUILT'D YOU IN THE THROWS BY NOW. YOU DRAW A LINE IN THE SAND—WHERE IT ENDS AND YOU BEGIN—BUT THE TIDE ROLLS IN SO... WHO KNOWS? OH WELL. AND A LITTLE IDENTITY NEVER HURT NOBODY, BUT LATELY YOU'VE BEEN FOCUSING TOO MUCH ON YOURSELF. SO HOW MANY MILLIGRAMS OF YOU ARE STILL LEFT IN THERE? 'CAUSE BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN'T NEED NO FEEL-GOOD PILLS AND NO PSYCHIATRISTS. NO, WE JUST DRANK OURSELVES TO DEATH... AND GODDAMMIT, WE LIKED IT! WHO MAKES THE CALL, WHAT'S A SYMPTOM WHAT'S A FLAW? CAN IT BE BOTH? WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT'S AN ANSWER. WOULD YOU GIVE UP YOUR HUMANITY FOR JUST A TOUCH OF SANITY? 'CAUSE GOD KNOWS IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S CANCER! AND GOOD NEWS TO THE PURISTS: THEY'VE DISCOVERED A CURE FOR ALL THE SYMPTOMS OF BEING ALIVE. IT'S A PAINLESS PROCEDURE WITH A LOW RATE OF FAILURE, BUT VERY FEW PATIENTS SURVIVE! AND A LITTLE CONFORMITY NEVER HURT NOBODY, BUT LATELY I'VE BEEN WORRIED THAT YOU'RE LOSING YOURSELF. SO HOW MANY MILLIGRAMS OF YOU ARE STILL LEFT IN THERE? WOAH—'CAUSE BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN'T NEED NO FEEL-GOOD PILLS AND NO PSYCHIATRISTS. NO, WE JUST BLED OUT IN OUR BATH... AND GODDAMMIT WE LIKED IT! DOCTOR, WHAT'S MY PROGNOSIS IF THE STUDY SHOWS THAT DISEASE IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER? TELL ME "SO IT GOES." WE DEPRESS TO IMPRESS, I GUESS, IN LAYER AFTER LAYER TO GET OFF OUR CHESTS. IT'S COLD OUT NOW, WE CAN TAKE IT OFF LATER. BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY, AND WE BOTH KNOW THE DANGER. SO DOCTOR, COULD YOU RUN ANOTHER TEST? GOT A FEELING THAT THIS TIME I MIGHT JUST PASS IT. WELL, IF YOU RAISE THE AVERAGE. WE ALL SING WHEN THE BELL CURVE RINGS IN LYRICS SYMPTOMATIC OF THE WAY WE THINK. IF OUR HARMONIES DON'T SYNC, WE CAN CHANGE OUR VOICES. A CHORUS ON CONDITION OF OUR DIAGNOSIS. 'CAUSE BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN'T NEED NO FEEL-GOOD PILLS AND NO PSYCHIATRISTS. WHAT CAN I SAY EXCEPT, "I'LL HEED NO EVIL WILLS OF MORAL NIHILISTS?" I SAID, "BACK IN THE DAYS OF LOBOTOMIES AND SHOCK THERAPY AND MAD SCIENTISTS—" OH, DON'T YOU MAKE ME WASTE MY BREATH... GODDAMMIT! Ain't your youdentity at stake? Does aspirin kill you with the pain? You're not your thoughts, you're not your brain, you're just the character you've made. Up in your head, down in your heart, what seem like separate body parts come together to believe they're you and not just chemistry. It's not the way that you were raised or what the advertisements say. Not what you pay for, what you pray for, what you want, and what you say. And I see your tendency to redefine disease but what you need, and I'm afraid I can't prescribe the diagnosis that you seek. But something tells me that you need—Forgive me now if I misspeak. But something tells me that you like it. Something tells me you prefer to be sitting there flipping through those old issues of people. Well, that's our time, see you next week!

[dear-ao3]

please let this be a normal race weekend 🫣

with f1? NO WAY ‼️

today is march 9, 2024 and welcome aboard the magic school bus f1 ride, saudi arabia edition. we’ve got lots to cover, as you probably can imagine.

starting once again, as always, with red bull. which continues to be. as the kids would say. a shit show.

let’s review:

-horner gets accused of Something involving “inappropriate workplace behavior” with a female employee

-these accusations get leaked to the press

-results in an internal investigation

-everyone ever tells horner to resign but he’s adamant he didn’t do anything wrong and doesn’t

-the internal investigation clears horner of all charges

-someone leaks a google drive to the press and various other people that allegedly has evidence against horner in it

-no one publishes said drive because they will get sued

-helmut marko reveals that max has exit clauses in his contract, one of which is that max can leave if the car isn’t performing and supposedly there is another that says he can leave if helmut marko leaves

-jos verstappen reportedly says that max will not be staying with red bull if horner doesn’t leave

-jos was also seen talking to toto wolff in the paddock in bahrain last weekend and when asked about max going to mercedes, toto said “anything is possible”

and now, onto this weeks drama:

-max dismissed rumors that he would be going to mercedes next year, saying that he has no intention of leaving because he likes red bull and everything that they have done for him

-he was asked if he would stay if helmut left red bull, and he said that things would have to get very silly for helmut to leave but he would see

-not too many days later, low and behold, one helmut marko said that there was a good chance he could be suspended from the team amid all the controversies

-at the same time it was also announced that the female employee who made by he accusations against horner was also suspended on full pay

-max came out and said that if helmut leaves he cannot continue with red bull

-but then hemut said that he was confirmed staying

so. it’s a shit show as per the absolute usual.

now, since horner and everyone else at red bull is kind of saying as little as humanly possible about this, the media have turned to the other drivers to speak to to get some good juicy headlines.

the problem with this is that the other drivers really don’t know what’s going on at all. they know just about as much as the rest of us, which is basically nothing. that and, clearly none of them want to be interrogated about this.

the responses all fall into basically the same two categories: calling for more transparency and this isn’t really my issue but it shouldn’t be happening.

now though, this is not nearly enough of a juicy headline for the media. so some outlets decided to paraphrase, cut and splice or just plain make up what the drivers responses have been. (which i dont think a lot of people have realized is what is going on. there of course have been some people who have wholly supported horner (like checo) but most of them seem to be like. theres better things to be asking me about but of course this shouldn't be happening)

it’s happened to a good chunk of people, seemingly just to stir the pot and make people look bad.

take lando, for example.

one news source (i do not remember which one) quoted him as saying this:

but it would seem that that news source actually has no proof of him saying that and would further seem that they cut and splinted together what he actually said (below) to make him look bad:

a similar thing happened to charles leclerc who was asked something about the situation in french, something along the lines of "how will ferrari benefit from the red bull situation" and he kind of just ignored it and started rambling about the car (supposedly, i dont actually speak french) but he was paraphrased or translated badly (or both) to make it seem like he was in support of horner.

thats just a few examples, but they were not the only ones to have this happen to them. there were drivers though, like lewis and george, who were fully calling for more transparency.

in all, it seems like most of them are equally as confused as we are and dont want to dig themselves into a mess that they know nothing about. though, it is good at some of them are calling for more transparency. a lot of people are pissed at peoples responses and i really think that they really have far more important things that actually pertain to them to be thinking about, also no one knows what the fuck happened, and when you add that to the media misquoting people and creating drama, its never a good combination.

now, someone who missed all of this media day nonsense was none other than carlos sainz. he missed media day because he didn’t feel well, came to the track the next day and did practice 1 and 2, was supposed to come the following day for practice 3 and qualifying, but was diagnosed with appendicitis and had to have emergency surgery.

now, surprisingly, this isn’t even the first time a driver has had appendicitis during a race weekend. in monza 2022 alex albon got diagnosed with appendicitis and neck de vries replaced him and ended up scoring the first williams points of the season which resulted in him getting signed to alpha tauri for the following year where he did not slay and ultimately got replaced by daniel who liam lawson then was subbed in for after he broke his hand and well, very long story short alex almost nearly died of complications, a lot of people got fired and a lot of people got hired. pretty much everything can be traced back to alex albon's appendix, somehow. and alex, predictably, was nothing short of supportive of carlos on twitter:

carlos himself is fine and doing significantly better, according to himself via instagram. and i don’t know if we have talked about this previously but carlos’s f1 nickname is smooth operator, like the song, because he will sing the song when he does well over team radio.

and in a ferrari pr video a while ago, carlos and charles told eachother their full names:

carlos found it incredibly funny that perceval is part of charles name and said it sounds like it should be a lord name. lord perceval.

and what on earth does this have to do with carlos’s appendix? well, this was his instagram story post surgery:

and then he also posted this:

which is him recreating a picture of his dad having his appendix out in 1985. man came out of emergency surgery high as hell off anesthesia and was like. ive got an idea. remember that one photo of you dad?

yeah. even in the midst of appendicitis, carlos sainz continues to be nothing short of iconic. carlos also was in the paddock for the race today, having quite literally had surgery basically 24 hours ago. although, he did aparently discharge himself from the hospital against doctors orders to be there and showed up still wearing a medical bracelet and the bandage from his iv. hes hopeful that he will be able to be back in the car for the australian gp in 2 weeks, though he has admitted that it will be fairly close on recovery time. people all over the internet are torn between outraged that carlos would refuse to give himself rest when hes Clearly being given the time to (and all the videos of him walking around the paddock were insane, hes clearly in pain and it looked like he could barely move) and impressed that he showed up to be a strategist for ferrari, watch all his friends race and also take the time to give ollie some advice (as ollie is driving his car)

now, while yes it is terrible that this happened to carlos and we do wish him a speedy recovery, we do get to see ollie bearmans f1 debut.

who is ollie bearman? well i’m glad you asked.

ollie barman is an 18 year old british f2 driver. he is the ferrari and haas reserve driver and notably this year has 6 scheduled practice sessions with haas. his name was already being thrown around as someone who could be getting a contract for f1 next year (likely at haas), but he was unexpectedly given this opportunity to show what he can do in an f1 car.

he was already in jeddah for the f2 race, and had qualified on pole position and had done the f2 sprint race when he got the call on friday morning that he needed to replace carlos (as carlos didnt actually go to the hospital until friday morning and that was when they figured out what was happening). so with a grand total of a 1 hour practice session (that was cut slightly short dude to a crash by zhou) under his belt, he was set to make his f1 debut. in a ferrari. which is positively bonkers.

now, qualifying and practice was not overly incredibly interesting (except for when charles ran over not one but two plastic bags and said "this track is just like mario kart theres plastic bags everywhere" and oscar kissed a few walls and hamilton almost smacked directly into logan sargeant during practice and zhou guanyu crashed at the end of practice three so he couldn't qualify and nico hulkenberg lost all power in his car in q2 of qualifying) so were going to mostly skip over all of that and jump right into the race cause that was where the good stuff was. here was the qualifying start order:

pole: max verstappen p2: charles leclerc p3: checo perez p4: fernando alonso p5: oscar piastri p6: lando norris p7: george russell p8: lewis hamilton p9: yuki tsunoda p10: lance stroll p11: ollie bearman p12: alex albon p13: kevin magnussen p14: daniel ricciardo p15: nico hulkenberg p16: valtteri bottas p17: esteban ocon p18: pierre gasly p19: logan sargeant p20: zhou guanyu

and so. it was lights out and away we go in jeddah, a very fast street circuit.

well, lando tried to go early. he jumped the start slightly (meaning he started before the lights went totally out) but ultimately he didnt receive a penalty for it. it did mean that he had a slower start though, which would later cost him.

also it was hilarious that he did jump the start because when he was asked in an interview the day before what his plan for starting the race was he said, very jokingly "jump the start"

immediately there were problems. as there usually are. and the problems were for our favorite little meow meows, alpine.

on the formation lap pierre gasley said over radio that he had a gear box issue (aparently the car couldn't shift past 6th gear) and ultimately he had to retire the car during the first lap. it was the first dnf of the season the grid was down to 19.

and on the 19 drivers went, around the track again and again before lance stroll crashed into a wall on lap 7. he was fine, but evidently the aston martin pit wall didnt quite understand that he was literally in the wall:

lance: "hit the wall" engineer: "ok can you bring it back lance?" lance: "no im in the fucking wall."

now this had an interesting affect on the tire strategy. see, this race is generally a one stop. meaning they box for tires one time. and lance's crash brought a safety car and a yellow flag onto the track. which shaves down the time lost during a pit stop because the cars are not going as fast.

so, even though it was very early on in the race, everyone pitted to change their tires so that they wouldn't have to later. predictably, there was a decent amount of traffic coming out of the pitlane and checo cut fernando off pretty spectacularly, almost causing an accident. this got him a 5 second time penalty.

everyone except for lando, lewis, nico and zhou.

now hamilton was not pleased that he was staying out. and lando wasnt overly pleased with it either. under the safety car he ended up in p1 ahead of max and was told to not stress the tires but try to keep his position for as long as he could. (which was kind of impossible because he had none other than max verstappen behind him, hungry for yet another victory). it was speculated that he might have been told this so that oscar could get as close to the front as possible with lando holding max up for a little.

so with the safety car ending the standings were:

p1: lando norris p2: max verstappen p3: lewis hamilton p4: checo perez p5: charles leclerc p6: oscar piastri p7: fernando alonso p8: nico hulkenberg p9: george russell p10: zhou guanyu p11: yuki tsunoda p12: ollie bearman p13: kevin magnussen p14: alex albon p15: esteban ocon p16: valtteri bottas p17: logan sargeant p18: daniel ricciardo

and off our 18 drivers went.

lando managed to stay more than a second in front of max for quite a few laps, which was good because it prevented max from getting drs and passing everyone by 20 seconds.

down in the mid field on lap 11 kevin magnussen cut off alex alboon while fighting for p11 and damaged alex's front wing. 2 laps later kevin magnussen said that he thought he might have floor damage, regardless, he stayed out.

and then he was given a 10 second time penalty for causing a collision with alex albon. not a good day to be kevin magnussen.

also on lap 13 max passed lando, retaking the lead of the race.

and on lap 14 one ollie bearman passed zhou guanyu, taking 10th position and putting himself into the points for his first ever f1 race (and lets remind everyone that he had barely 2 hours in the car prior to the race)

leclerc was able to overtake hamilton on lap 15, as leclerc had fresher tires. this began the start of an intense battle between oscar and lewis hamilton for 5th position. on lap 18 oscar tried to pass him, but ended up going wide into the runoff area and had to give the position back (otherwise he would have gotten a penalty). the fight between oscar and hamilton though revealed that mclaren had kind of shit drs (drag reduction system. basically when you are within 1 second of the car in front of you you can open the back wing of the car and get an extra 20kph per hour. oscar's mclaren was only getting an extra 13 kph with the drs)

meanwhile, perez overtook lando on lap 18, pushing lando down into 3rd position (and still on older tires)

ollie bearman was hot on nico hulkenberg's tail for 9th position, he tried to overtake him multiple times before getting frustrated and saying "mate, he's so slow" over the team radio. he was finally able to complete the overtake on lap 21

then, the 10 second penalties were not over for one kevin magnussen because he overtook yuki while going off the track (again!) and was given yet another 10 second penalty. which would weirdly come in very useful for haas pretty soon.

but first, back up in 5th and 6th oscar and lewis were still fighting it out. hamilton changed the line of his braking on lap 25 (not allowed! because it could cause an accident) and the mclaren pit wall, who were annoyed that oscar had been stuck behind hamilton for so long, reported it up to the stewards. the stewards ultimately didnt do anything with it though, much to their general chagrin and the battle continued.

speaking of mclaren, lando was still barely holding onto p3, with charles leclerc less than a second behind him. and it was lap 26, more than halfway through the race. and he still hadn't changed his tires. in the middle of him trying to defend against charles, his engineer radioed him to say "hey mate, we're probably going to go for something like the germany situation." and lando responded something to the nature of "all good mate just give me a second here i gotta push"

basically british for, buddy shut the hell up im busy.

reguardless, he was still passed by charles on the next lap.

now, lets shift back to the mid field because there was something very, very interesting going on just out of the points. a real fight for the ages was taking place between kevin magnussen and basically everyone else.

magnussen was running in 12th position. zhou was in front of him in 11 (and also still had to pit) and nico was just holding onto 10th, the last points position. but, nico still had to pit. and while there was some space between nico and kevin, it was not nearly enough to keep kevin safe from reentering back into a load of traffic after he pitted.

basically, kevin needed to keep everyone behind him and widen the gap between the back of the grid and nico to keep nico in a point scoring position.

and that is exactly what he did.

kevin already had a 20 second time penalty so he knew he was going to be coming in close to last at this point, it was not about his race, it was all about maximizing the teams outcome. and kevin had, yuki, esteban, alex and logan all just a wee bit behind him (when i say wee bit i mean they were all less than a second off of eachother) with daniel and bottas further back. his work was rightfully cut out for him.

on lap 30 yuki managed to get past kevin, but kevin managed to pass him again, regaining 12th position and keeping nico safe. he had to go a little off the track (again) to do so, but he already had time penalties out the wazoo and probably didnt really care too much. yuki did care though and said "what dangerous driving" over the radio.

but kevin kept at it. as it stood at lap 30 there was a 17 second gap between nico hulkenberg and kevin, and the total time for a pit stop was 23 seconds, so he still had some work to do.

and while he was working on that, lando norris was still running up in 4th position. still yet to pit. on lap 32 his race engineer said "ive got a question for you. at some point we are going to have to go back to plan a and then get back through all these cars. is that possible?" meaning that he was going to need to pit for tires and would he have enough time and speed to get back through everyone to try and retake 4th spot.

lando said "yes, but we should pit as late as possible." in order to give him the most time to build a gap between himself and the rest of the grid to minimize the work that he would have to do after coming out of the pit lane.

by lap 33 kevin magnussen had increased the gap between nico and himself to 21 seconds by barely using any of his electric battery power on the turns and then going flat out on the straights (as the haas had a fuck ton of straight line speed and the track itself was mostly straights). and in the words of martin brundle "magnussen is utterly destroying the race for all these cars" behind him. and he was.

nico pitted on lap 34. and he came out in 11th, 10 seconds behind zhou (who still had not pitted and would not be a problem for haas especially with kevin still managing to keep everyone behind him)

back up at the front, oscar tried once again to pass hamilton on lap 35, but went wide and had to go into the runoff yet Again, ending up having to give back the place Again. but he did come close to passing him and he did, as crofty said, "finally saw the light at the end of the mercedes rear wing tunnel that hes been staring at"

the next time oscar was ready to overtake him, hamilton pitted for softs. putting oscar in p4.

also boxing for softs was one lando norris on lap 38, and despite the slow stop, he was still able to come out just ahead of hamilton and behind ollie in 8th position.

thus started a civil war between lando and lewis. hamilton was with a few seconds of lando, who was a solid 6 seconds behind ollie. hamilton went fastest lap on lap 39, getting closer to lando, who didnt have a whole lot of straight line speed in the mclaren. lando got a black and white flag (a warning for track limits and general unsafe driving) on lap 41, still trying to keep hamilton behind him. he was trying to get ahead of ollie, and the striking distance to do so would be on lap 46, but in order to do that he would have to keep Hamilton behind him.

in the meantime, zhou had an absolutely awful pit stop, firmly planting him at the back of the grid while nico took p10 for haas. kevin was behind still managing to keep all the others at bay. talk about float like a cadillac sting like a beamer.

on lap 45 ollie's engineer radioed to tell him "norris is fighting with his tires and with hamilton now we can do it" as in stay in p7. and he did.

and to close out the race daniel ricciardo spun out on lap 49, but managed to correct himself to finish the race.

and with that. our remaining 18 drivers took the checkered flag in the following order:

p1: max verstappen p2: checo perez p3: charles leclerc p4: oscar piastri p5: fernando alonso p6: george russell p7: ollie bearman p8: lando norris p9: lewis hamilton p10: nico hulkenberg p11: alex albon p12: kevin magnussen p13: esteban ocon p14: logan sargeant p15: yuki tsunoda p16: daniel ricciardo p17: valtteri bottas p18: zhou guanyu DNF: lance stroll DNF: pierre gasley

so max got his 100th podium, ollie got his first points and f1 debut and all in all it was a good day for f1. unless you were lance or pierre. or yuki, who got a 5 second penalty post race for cutting lando off in the pit lane.

ollie was congratulated by pretty much everyone, by drivers on the cool down lap, by george and lewis right after he got out of the car, by other teams, by drivers in there post race interviews, by carlos on his instagram story. overwhelming support. several said that its only a matter of time before hes on the grid. wonderful to see.

and rightfully so! he had basically one hour of practice in an f1 car, missed out on q3 by literally only .036 of a second and came in p7 beating BOTH lando and lewis. and he has 6 f1 points and is 10th in the standings right now (doesnt matter cause hes not an f1 driver but still!!)

onto a sampling of the media this week!

-george russell cut through the williams garage for funnies and was like "??? oh?? is this the wrong garage"

-williams continues to dunk on oscar being bad at paddle. oscar continues to side eye them. there has been a paddle match proposed to occur between lando and oscar against alex and logan

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-mclaren showed their support of ollie taking carlos's spot for this weekend by saying that oscar would not be the youngest on the grid anymore (true) (they also whipped out the timeline of Fernando alonso's career again and pointed out that when ollie was born fernando was winning a first world championship)

-lando was asked about his winter break again and what he did with daniel in australia. aparently they made eggs. terribly.

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-someone at the fan stage offered to adopt oscar. he said "i am not up for adoption unfortunately, but thank you."

-alex albon called logan sargeant a frat boy. logan agreed.

-the cameras kept cutting to ollies dad in the ferrari garage during the race and he looked, rightfully scared out of his mind:

jack doohan, the alpine test and reserve driver, said during the post race show that he thought that ollies dad was on screen more than max was (jack was correct)

-lando posted support for carlos calling him both "broski" and "matey 🫶"

-oscar posted on his instagram story after the race that he is now an "expert in the mercedes rear wing" after spending so much time staring at it during the race.

-and lastly, ferrari posted this video of charles and carlos earlier in the week where charles manages to be the funniest person:

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and thats all from me. see you all in 'straylia mate

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

[lilliths-not-just-httyd-blog]

Summarising every single HTTYD movie, short and episode in roughly one sentence:

HTTYD 1:

ADHD incarnate befriends Death: The Dragon and with the power of friendship they OH GODS OH FUCK OH HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Legend of the Boneknapper:

Gobber likes to tell campfire stories

Book of Dragons:

DreamWorks attempts to write a reader POV fanfiction

Gift of the Night Fury:

Critical series lore in a Christmas special?? Yeah seems normal for this franchise

Riders of Berk:

1. Mildew tries to get a bunch of teenagers executed or some shit

2. Solidifying Gobber as a total madlad: The episode

3. Hot take: You can skip this episode, it's arguably the worst one in the franchise, but you WILL miss a penis joke so there's that going for it.

4. Toothless develops an Older Sibling complex over Beyblade: The Dragon™ and HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT???

5. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MILDEW?? I mean I knew you were an ass but I didn't expect THIS??

6. "The films aren't anything like the books!" UM, ACTUALLY- (aka the episode where Hiccup goes full-on Book!Hiccup mode and Alvin is nothing like his book counterpart but the rest of the outcasts are)

7. "Look at this super dangerous dragon I found! I'M GONNA WRESTLE IT!!"

8. Hiccup has body image issues

9. Mildew gets bitten in the ass (SATISFYING)

10. The Mary Sue: Part One

11. The Mary Sue: Part Two

12. Oh yeah Snotlout's dad is an abusive cuck who can go fuck himself I'm not even joking. Love Snotlout tho I gotta say.

13. "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?! STRIKE ME DOWN, ZEUS!! YOU DON'T HAVE THE BA-"

14. Toothless has a mortal enemy apparently and it is fucked up

15. (Dagur fanboys start screaming in the distance)

16. Snotlout fixes his mistakes (they were very big mistakes)

17. VALKA??? VALKA MENTION??? HICCUP HAS A DRAGON PLUSHIE??? (silently weeping by the end of the episode)

18. Fishlegs and Snotlout piss off some helicopter parents who are also Invisible Acid Dragons™ (ohhhhhh no)

19. Are there... other Night Furies????

20. Lol no BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THERE IS-

Defenders of Berk:

1. Fight Club reference

2. That one time Meatlug became magnetic and almost died

3. Dagur is gay for Hiccup but like in a yandere way

4. Whoever designed the Screaming Death must have been on a particularly fucked up slice of magic mushroom because I've never seen something more in need of holy water than that dragon (my childhood favourite :D )

5. Snotlout's dad is a fucking asshole but I never thought he'd stoop that low

6. Behold: My second favourite dragon who canonically killed Astrid's uncle

7. They tried to train Terrible Terrors in this episode, guess how that went lmaooo

8. (grabs more holy water) IT'S BACK.

9. Hey remember Tiny Beyblade Dragon? Yeah now he's kinda sorta the size of a house. Meanwhile everything is on fire (twin's fault)

10. Behold: My favourite dragon's frozen carcass preserved in ice- I mean my favourite dragon is hibernating in ice- I mean OH SHIT OH FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH NO-

11. Dagur subjugates my favourite dragon and then karma bites him in the ass

12. Snotlout and Gustav are an anxiety/adhd wombo-combo

13. Ruffnut cuts her hair short to save the life of a really cute dragon and Dreamworks was too pussy to keep it like that for the rest of the season.

14. (darude sandstorm plays)

15. The dragons get high and try to kill each other

16. Toothless is on drugs (I'm not even joking, during the Toothless POV shots you can literally hear stoner music playing)

17. Dagur with helmet hair Dagur with helmet hair Dagur with helmet hair

18. THORNADO NOOOOOOOOO T-T

19. ALVIN, DAGUR, SNOTLOUT AND THE SCREAMING DEATH. HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO GET BETTER THAN IT ALREADY IS???

20. IT GOT BETTERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Dawn of the Dragon Racers:

The gang got new fits and invented a sport

Race to the Edge S1:

1. Oh shit, Dagur's out of prison, better go chase him down and OOOH, SHINY TELESCOPE THINGY?? (Hiccup is a magpie apparently)

2. Gothi once again proving herself to be an absolute madlad

3. Hiccup and the gang move out of home because telescopy thingy told them to. What could possibly go wrong? (GONE WRONG)

4. Welcome to our new home on Dragon's Edge! It's been years since we've been able to function effectively as a team, and Tuffnut's been smoking way too many hallucinogens lately OH FUCK HE WASN'T HALLUCINATING OH FUCK ME

5. Snotlout is gay for Fishlegs

6. NOT GUSTAV NOOOOOOOO

7. Basically what happens when you put me in charge of anything

8. "Look at this super dangerous dragon I found! I'M GONNA WRESTLE IT!!"

9. Fishlegs and Snotlout are gay

10. THE MARY SUE IS BACK AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH

11. WELL THAT PLOT TWIST CAME OUTTA NOWHERE

12. (darude sandstorm vocoded to running in the 90s plays)

13. they made girl dragon pink

Race to the Edge S2:

1. Astrid becomes that "SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE" guy basically

2. SCOTLAND FOREVER!!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (new villain alert and he is AWESOME)

3. MARY SUE IS WORKING FOR THE VILLAINS NOW???

4. Dreamworks introduces Dragon Werewolfism and does NOTHING with this concept after this episode?? What a ripoff!

5. Fuck Snotlout's dad so much

6. Hiccup punches Snotlout in the face and knocks him out which is no surprise considering he is God of Dragons

7. MARY SUE WAS SPYING ON THE VILLAINS ALL ALONG NOW???

8. Two people and a singular dragon try to fight off an entire armada

9. They succeed somehow

10. Oh hey it's a HTTYD 2 dragon (Free Willy parody? You couldn't have done anything more original?)

11. SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!!

12. Prepare to thirst in 3... 2... 1: (Viggo appears)

13. If you thought Dagur was homosexual, you aren't prepared for how gay Viggo gets

Race to the Edge S3:

1. Dagur did WHAT NOW???

2. Fuck Cavern Crashers so much but SNOTLOUT SNOUTLOUT OI OI OI!!!

3. Sword in the Stone parody?? Are all the Fishlegs episodes story parodies now??

4. Did... Did they try to portray Snotlout's dad as being in the right in this episode?? Ew fuck that.

5. Viggo almost caused Covid-19

6. Hiccup forgets that not everyone has ADHD and the dragons go completely fucking feral

7. This show loves to force romances, doesn't it?

8. I think these people took HTTYD/Pokemon crossover fics a bit too far

9. A musical episode which has a reason to exist. Sarah Z was right all along?

10. Favourite Fishlegs episode :)

11. DAGUR DID WHAT NOW???

12. My go-to introductory episode for non-fans. It's got everything. Including Viggo.

13. OKAY BUT THAT CLIFFHANGER WAS METAL

Race to the Edge S4:

1. OH THAT FINALE WAS METAL MALA IS JUST SO METAL I LOVE DEFENDERS OF THE WING

2. If you listen closely you can hear TJ Miller in absolute hysterics in the recording booth

3. At this point in time Viggo only values Hiccup as being worth 1000 gold coins

4. I love Snotlout so much... Spitelout can go suck a bag of rocks

5. Oh fuck yes Dagur's back

6. Viggo throws a hissy fit and kisses a man and Toothless is willing to die just so Hiccup doesn't have to die alone (sobbing)

7. Everyone is high in this episode

8. "You didn't think after all we've been through I'd expose myself without some... added protection?"

9. Jumping into a volcano on purpose: The episode

10. Viggo takes a sip of water in this episode (very important)

11. It took Hiccup and Astrid over four years since their first kiss to officially start dating, but they finally did it and it was one of the best episodes in the whole show

12. Ryker has had enough

13. Viggo confesses his love for Hiccup and then fucking dies (or did he?)

Race to the Edge S5:

1. "The volcano on Dragon's Edge is a dormant volcano" THINK THE FUCK AGAIN, FISHLEGS

2. How the fuck did Gen Z: The Dragon get ahold of Viggo's sword?

3. Savage needs therapy

4. Snotlout's casual sexism almost gets him killed: Lesbian Island edition

5. If you've ever watched an elderly person try to escape a nursing home then you've seen this episode before. Just without as many bones and corpses

6. The Gays Are Back In Town ft. Gay Snotlout, Gay Fishlegs and Gay Viggo

7. "my city now" - Krogan

8. You cannot watch this episode and tell me that Viggo isn't in love with Hiccup

9. Krogan insulted Viggo's hobby and Viggo got mega salty about it

10. Astrid punches a dragon with poisonous scales and almost dies because Save Stormfly Make Anditode™, turns out she did this for no reason whatsoever because Stormfly Wasn't Dying

11. Tuffnut fakes his own death in order to make Ruffnut happy

12. Dagur not-so-casually finding his fathers dead body

13. Rage.

Race to the Edge S6:

1. My blood has never boiled so hard as it did watching this episode

2. Stoick gets played like a cheap kazzoo and regresses back to how he acted in HTTYD 1 out of sheer stress

3. THIS SHOW LOVES TO FORCE ROMANCES, DOESN'T IT?

4. Fishlegs can't believe that his ancestors were Dragon Hunters as if he wasn't once enrolled in Dragon Killing School

5. Nothing solves a sibling rivalry like teaming up to kill the annoying cousin

6. THIS EPISODE GOT AGE RESTRICTED ON NETFLIX BECAUSE ASTRID SHOOK HER TITS AT HICCUP AND DAGUR AND MALA HAVE A MUTUAL PAIN KINK

7. The twins are just. So ride or die for each other it's not even funny.

8. Viggo confesses his love for Hiccup and then fucking dies for real this time (Viggo fans start sobbing as The Winner Takes It All by ABBA starts playing in the distance)

9. Snotlout writes a book

10. What if the gang had never left Berk? What if Hiccup never shot down Toothless at the start of HTTYD 1? What if Spitelout actually loved his son?

11. Protecting an island filled with a bunch of dead dragons

12. The satisfied smirk on my face knowing what the characters don't

13. The most satisfying death in the history of mankind.

HTTYD 2:

Way to straight up ruin Hiccup's life, am I right?

HTTYD 3:

Ruining every character and spitting in the face of all that I love

Homecoming:

20 minutes of my life that I'll never get back

Snoggletog Log:

Half an hour of a fireplace and the wrong voice actors. This shit plays like a DVD menu.

[marengogo]

Rambling in INFJese - Part 8: Me, Myself & Jikook

Soweto - by Victony, Tempoe  [Outlaw]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Ladies, Gentlemen and Distinguished Enbies; I’m finally back well sort of, as I’m writing to you on my train back home.

Although I’m indeed back physically from all the little trips I took during the festive period, between Europe and Africa, I am very thrilled to say that I am also ready to begin a healthy coming back mentally and emotionally, and now those have been pretty absent since November 2019.

Needless to say, the journey toward me being ready to regain my Mind & Emotions has been a fucking struggle. I had to start with admitting that I was not okay first and foremost, which finally happened towards the end of 2020, I must specify that non of my mental or emotional woes had anything to do with COVID the virus only heavily affected my business, which in turn affected my finance etc etc, but we made a miracle recovery in 2022, so thank the spirits for that!. 

In addition, I also had to realise that I was burnt-out through and through, hence, I didn’t have the energy to actually do anything, be it physical or not, and that that was okay. Basically I needed a way to begin my physical, mental and emotional rebirth so the festive trips were mostly planned with that mind state, because even though most of the trips turned out to be incredibly relaxing, mindless and super fun fun; one, the last and main one, wasn’t. 

The last trip I took the one where some of my friends had problems at the airport, that one was specifically related to my family and it was the one I dreaded the most, because it meant I had to face “music” I wasn’t ready to dance to, let alone listen to. This particular trip was meant to happen in 2020, but COVID etc-etc. Then, something happened in 2022 that made it impossible for me to postpone it any further and by November 2022, even though I was still scared shitless, I got to a point in which I wanted and I was ready to finally do this. 

Luckily for me other family members and friends decided to join me on this trip; we love travelling people in my circle, so ANY excuse really! We started with fun stuff first, and travelled like there was no tomorrow and then left the serious part for last (could have, I would have preferred to do the tough part first and the fun last, but that part was during a family gathering and its date was fixed).

So, attend the gathering I did, and low-and-behold, it turned out to be not as bad as I had envisioned it to be. Needless to say, all my fears and insecurities lied within me and were all also amplified by me. Mind you, they were not baseless, because there are some major issues within my family, but what I realised this time around is that for some things there is really nothing I can do about it and that at times, understanding and admitting this is a start. Furthermore, finding a way that would allow me to coexist without compromising myself in an unhealthy way, is the only/best thing I can do. 

Facing things head-on is the best way I know how to do things and for the past 2 years and some I had been scared shitless to do so. The last time I did, November 2019, left me traumatised and the chain reaction of tragic and unfortunate event that followed that didn’t help either.  But 2021 rolled around and though I was still burnt-out and not okay at least a part of me knew I wanted to be okay. Thus, I began with therapy; the best decision I made in my situation, which btw, I had been advised to go to since that fateful November 2019, but I wasn’t ready. Another thing that was important for me to own up to was that; You know yourself best, and if you are not ready, you are not ready. 

People around you that care for you will keep trying to push/guide you into getting to a better place, because in their eyes they see you suffering and are trying to help. If you do have said people in your life, make sure to listen to them, just listening won’t hurt, it is already a blessing in itself to actually have people who care about you. HOWEVER, don’t force yourself to do anything you are not ready for. Always do things on your own time and at your own pace. For example, there is another situation I wanted to resolve in 2022 and ended up not really would have been too much on my plate in addition with my family gathering thingy, but I am now ready so I’ll do it now in 2023. My Own Time, My Own Pace.

And there it is! 2023 is going to be me beginning my journey of proper self-healing 🧡💙. I can feel it in my bones that I’m ready to face all that comes at me and take charge of my life again. Oh and I know you all know I am big on Mythology, but Astrology is also another of my passions, so just in case you were curious about the colour palette and keywords for your sign this year, please find them following I’m Gemini BTW:

Now, Let’s talk Jikook shall we? 

In reality I’d like to talk BTS, but then again, I mean, when don't I want to talk BTS 😜. For example, I’d like to point out that Jin’s first month away is officially today and now there are 17 more months to go. I know it sounds like no time has passed, but if you think about it, 30/31 days have come and gone and even though I miss him like hell I check that bloody count-down everyday, I am so freaking happy just being able to say; 1 month down, 17 to go (We started at 548 days y’all!).

The passing of time is indeed made less noticeable when other things are happening doesn’t it? The rest of the members are still very active J-Hope has sort of become the BTS Awards Spokesperson as well as going around the world to perform. Joon is still working on music, Taekook are being Taekook and should be allowed to (in the sense that Tae as always keeps in contact with ARMY as often as he does and on the other hand JK doesn’t 😎; all very regular), Yoongi is Yoonging to the highest degree possible (I have a separate post planned for Min-Fabulous-Gi) and Park Jimin, well Park Jimin; TOMORROW CAN’T COME ANY SOONER:

Time is passing, Time is constant and Time is something that some Jikookers are not understanding, or taking properly into consideration. Time will bring about an unprecedented number of Montagues and will decimate a substantial number of Jikookers. Sure, we are going to get content that was filmed in 2022, documentaries, RUN episodes, we might also see them when all the other members leave for the military but supposing that BTS gets back together December 2025, let’s say 13 December 2025 for counting-sake, which would mean that if we start counting from today, Jikookers are looking at not having any Jikook interaction, possibly, for the next 1067days.

1067 DAYS.

We will all be 2 years older by then, we could have 1 year old children by then, we could be owners of great business by then, life could have changed drastically by then. A lot WILL HAVE happened by then so ...

Please let that sink in and understand what this means.

So what could/does this mean exactly? Publicly, nothing much really, because everything has been the same since July 2019. I’ve already tip-toed on the subject a couple of times but, to be more precise, everything had been the same, publicly, for Jikook, since July 14, 2019, when this selca was published. 

This last non-work related Jikook selca was posted a couple of months after Rose Bowl and way before HickeyGate, one being an out of the blue, hella spontaneous moment, the other being a moment we didn’t witness, but was “explained/reported” to us by Yours-Truly-Jikook. 

After July 14, 2019, any SM/public interaction from Jikook has either come under the form of HBD wishes, brand sponsorship, paid content, RUN BTS or during concert. Thanks so some of which we know that, for example, Jikook still actually do take selcas and JK still does takes videos of JM; we just are most likely never gonna get to see them as of present.

Furthermore, after July 14, 2019, when/if they do hangout together privately, it is either relayed to use through other members or through people who breach privacy for a living, which fuck them indeed. All this just to say that if we properly stopped and think we REALLY HAVEN’T BEEN GIVEN ANYTHING FROM JIKOOK THEMSELVES, ABOUT SOMETHING PRIVATE RELATING TO THEM, FOR AT LEAST 3 YEARS NOW. 

Wanna think even further? After July 2019, Jikook are the only two members who seem to always gravitate towards each other whenever we’ve seen them at Awards shows, they are always in perfect harmony on RUN BTS, they are always happy with each other on Banftan Bombs, and still do shenanigans during their yearly Memories. 

JM, alongside Hobi, brought his pretty self to visit JK on his birthday and on the other hand JK’s mother decided that you know what “we will have a seaweed soup today because it is JM’s birthday, even though he is not my son”. Jikook are seemingly very close and comfortable with each other, like they’ve always been, if not even more than before. Yet they are the only ones who have never commented/liked each other’s posts or INTERACTED on IG. Capulets and Montagues will tell you that because of this lack of interaction, all the aforementioned is clearly fanservice, but you and I, let’s be for real for a second.

We all know the great non-importance of the members interaction with each other on SM, which Yours-Truly-Jin has reminded us of before leaving to serve his country, but also we know very well that, although each couple in the world is different, many famous ones, do stay clear from interacting on SM, particularly if they are not official yet. Take my dearest Zendaya and Tom for example, before they announced their relationship, Zendaya only liked Tom’s IG if it was something directly related to spiderman or if she was directly tagged, which Tom aside for spiderman promotion, Tom has ever only did for her birthday. 

Zendaya had explained that she had always been paranoid for media to find out and she wanted this part of her life to be private, so she was VERY CAREFUL and weary of public interactions as much as she could, but they are both young, human and famous, so people who breach privacy for a job, caught them in a very private moment, which they impulsively had public …

Now that they are out and about together, Zenday is virtually liking all of Tom’s pics, same for Tom with Zendaya’s. Since being official, they’ve posted incredibly sweet birthday posts for each other and Tom is doing the most to promote her projects LOL; but this has been after they became official. 

Now, not only JK and JM live in a rather complicatedly-homophobic country, but they are about to enlist, which ones again, let’s be real, does this seem like the right time to be “parading gay pride and flags”? If I were you, I’d take time to concentrate on members' projects, rewatch all BTS shows from the beginning, take up a hobby if you don’t have one, save money for the biggest concert that will have ever taken place on planet Earth for when they get back in 2025/2026. 1067 days are 1067.

I’m personally rather booked for this year and coming, it seems, mostly private life, but don’t worry, I intend to still write quite a lot, about all members, and things regarding Jikook of course, there is so much that has happened and that is worth discussing, at least it is of interest to me. And if within this 1067 days, Jikook do something, which they intentionally wanted for us to partake in something current and private related to their life, something not pre-recorded, branded etc etc, then please don’t forget that because they DO NOT OWE us any private interactions, THAT would be considered one of the HIGHEST privileges bestowed upon us, by Yours-Kindly-And-Truly-Jikook.  

Very happy to be back and, as always, very respectfully yours,

Happy New Year 2023 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

[pastelavender88]

I’m Stuck

Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz x Fem!reader 

Summary: When a separated woman new to LA needs help with a rather personal matter, who will she call? None other than the firefighter in every woman’s wet dreams.

Prompt: Smut # 7- ‘You look good like this’, #20- Is this okay’, & #24-  I want this.

Requested-No

Remember ask and submissions are open. Go to the prompts list and send in.

This song remind me of the mood this oneshot sets.

Of fucking course. I thought shit like this only happened in porno movies, but low and behold, it's happening to me. Let me explain.

 I had recently just moved to town with my 8-year-old daughter, Ava, after my piece of shit soon-to-be ex-husband cheated with another woman. When I first arrived in LA, I met a handsome guy named Eddie Diaz. He had a son named Christopher around Ava's age. He was sweet. He even helped me find my around the city, giving me names of good parks, restaurants, and even people.

 I soon met his friends from the 118 after he invited me to his boss' party. They all seemed very sweet, but back to the issue at hand. While Ava was at school, I decided to finally get a chance to clean the house since it was my off day. 

After putting a load of laundry in, I noticed a piece of fabric stuck in my dryer. When I tried to get it out, it seemed snagged on something. So, like the idiot I am, I decided to go in and get it. I succeeded in that but, when I tried to back out of the dryer, I noticed my boobs wouldn't let me. "Come on, girls, we got in here. We can get out." I tried but, it just started to hurt. 

Luckily I had my apple watch on. So I could somewhat ask for help. I hit the only contact I knew through all of LA. "Eddie, I can't talk right now, but can you please come by my house. The spare key is in a hideaway rock." 

After a minute or two passed, I got a text from Eddie saying sure. After about 10 minutes, I heard my front door open. 

"Hello?" called out Eddie. 

"I'm back here, Eddie." I heard Eddie come around the corner. He started to laugh.

 "Laugh it up, asshole. I didn't realize that my boobs would get stuck. Can you please help me?"

 He finally found his composure. "How did this even happen?" 

"I thought Narnia happened in wardrobes and dryers," I said, dripping with sarcasm. "What do you think? I saw a piece of fabric in the dryer, and I climbed in to see what it was. It was Christopher's missing sock, by the way." 

"I thought this only happened in pornos."

"That's what I thought too. Now can you help me?"

"You know. Now that I think about it. You look good like this." I just realized what kind of position I was in, and it didn't help seeing as I was in a t-shirt that definitely rolled up due to my situation and a pair of panties.

"Can you just help me get out of here?"

"Fine. I'm gonna pull, and you pull at the same time. Tell me to stop if it hurts." Eddie got behind me, and I was embarrassed. Eddie's dick was at the same level as my ass. He pulled, and nothing happened. 

"I think my shirt is snagged." 

"Alright. Where do you think it's snagged at." 

"Under my bra." When I said that, his hands started to drag their hands up my body and found their way near the part I was talking about. I felt him pull part of the shirt. 

"Try to back out now." I was easily able to back out now. I came face-to-face with Eddie. 

"Thanks." 

"No problem."

"Was it as fun for you as it was for me." I joked, but Eddie's eyes seemed to darken.

"It could be better." He said as he took a step towards me. I became flustered.

"Well, thanks for your help, Eddie."

"No problem. So how will you thank me for my efforts."

"What do you mean."

"I think you know what I mean." He said as he closed the gap between us, and our lips met.

The kiss quickly heated up. Eddie's tongue was exploring my mouth, and I did the same. When Eddie broke away, all I could do was whimper at the loss of his mouth on mine.

"Is this okay?" (We love a consensual king.)

"Yes. Eddie, I want this." After I said that, Eddie's lips were back on mine, and he carried me to my bedroom. 

His lips then traveled from my lips down to my neck. As they traveled further, Eddie paused.

"What's wrong?"

"Umm. I don't have a condom."

"Oh. I'm on the pill unless you.." Eddie swiftly went back to kissing me all over. He quickly slid his fingers under the hem of my underwear. He swiftly inserted one finger in my opening.

"Eddie..." He inserted another finger while also circling my clit. He continued until he saw how close I was. He removed his fingers. "Eddie!"

"Did I say you could come yet?" He removed my underwear and hovered over my pussy. "Look how fucking soaked for me you are." He said before going down. He started with a few licks across my slit before he began devouring me like a starved man.

"Eddie." I left out a breathy moan. "Right there." I felt myself drifting away and reducing to nothing but mush. "So close..."

"What's the magic word, babe?"

"Please, Eddie?" He swiftly attacked my clit again. My body felt like it was falling off a cliff into a pile of tingling ecstasy. "Jesus, Eddie!" I moaned with a huff.

Eddie then came back and connected our lips. I could taste myself on his lips and tongue. My hands traveled their way to his belt and quickly undid it. I undid his pants and felt his impressive erection. I began to stroke him while he took off his shirt. "You know we don't have to if you..." I swiftly put my lips back on his to get him to shut up.

"Eddie, I'm fine." He took that as his green light and flipped me over on the bed. My ass was in the air, and I felt his tip meet with my opening. I let out a small moan to encourage him on. Slowly, Eddie entered me.

It took a little adjusting to. He was rather large compared to my ex. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just need a minute to adjust." After a few moments, I gave Eddie the signal to move. Slowly Eddie dragged out of me before thrusting back in. The burn slowly began to dull and turn to pleasure. "Eddie. Faster."

Eddie picked up his pace and thrust into me. We continued like that for what felt like hours when it was probably 20 minutes. I felt Eddie's dick twitch which meant he was close.

Eddie brought his finger back to my clit and began to massage me there. I felt another orgasm about to wash over me. "Come for me." When he said that, my body reacted. I saw stars. He continued to fuck me through my orgasm before cumming.

We fell onto the bed. "That was..." He started. "I don't even know how to describe it."

"Yeah." He wrapped his arms around me.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I'm gonna need to do another load of laundry now."

Okay this was my first attempt at doing smut.