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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago

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Another love (Be The Young 22)

GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, SELF H*RM, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault

All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .

Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

A/N: As I said last time, I’m sorry... This- this is just sad tbh

MASTERLIST

Another Love

So I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude Words they always win, but I know I'll lose“

Howdy, Emily.” Said the demon’s voice from behind her as she arrived at the agreed destination. “You should probably learn to drive less recklessly. Almost caused a couple of crashes back there.”

“Right. Let’s get to business.”

“Alright, alright… fifty miles that way,“ he pointed. ”...I need you to open something for me.” He dipped his hand into a pocket and took out the Colt from it. Emily instinctively reached for it, but he retracted his hand. “Now, now, don’t be hasty.” He said. “This is the key for the crypt.” He handed the gun to her. She looked at him, suspicious and put it away in her pants.

She started driving in the direction the demon gave her. She didn't bother asking for any explanation, she just drove there. Then, she put the gun into the crypt and waited.

At first, some glyphs lit up and started spinning. Then, the door actually started opening. All of a sudden, she was overwhelmed by a sea of black smoke, which knocked her over. She felt the pain of the ground hitting her head and then passed out.

When she woke up, she saw a familiar figure towering her. Bobby was bringing her somewhere. She briefly passed out again and found herself in the backseat of a car. “Emily, can you hear me?” Said Bobby's voice. She moaned, in pain, as a response. The car soon came to a stop. Ellen, helped her out of the vehicle. She recognized Bobby's lot.

“Bobby, I-”

“Are you okay?” He said, checking her for wounds. “Hurt?”

“No, Bobby I am fine, please-” She got out of Ellen's hold and leaned on the car. “I can't be next to Dean right now.”

“What the hell happened this time, uh?”

“He was about to-” She was distracted by the door of the house suddenly opening. Dean stood on the porch with his arms crossed in front of him. A sudden urge to vomit reached her guts. She covered her mouth and turned away.

“What on earth happened?!” Asked Bobby. Emily gagged and threw up in a corner of the lot. “Okay, that’s it, come inside.” The man tried to help Emily towards the door but she tried to move away. Her legs gave up on her and she fell. Quickly coming back up, she stopped anybody from helping her and leaned on the car. “I said no.”

“Alright, you wanna do this here?” Said Bobby, crossing his arms as well. “Fine by me. What on earth were you thinking?!”

“Oh, perfect, now it’s my fault.” Answered Emily, brushing her face with her right hand and trying to ignore Dean staring at her from the door.

“So was it someone else that I just saw opening the gates to fucking hell? Emily I am old, not stupid. What the hell were you thinking?”

Emily ignored the question. She looked at Dean. He was the reason she did all that.

She just opened the gates of hell all because of someone who didn’t even consider her family. “What the hell are you looking at?!” She asked him, bitterly. “This is all your fault, you realize that?!” He didn’t move. Bobby turned around to look at him. He gazed in between the two siblings.

“Okay, enough with this shit!” Said him, suddenly grabbing Emily by her arm and dragging her in front of her brother. “This has been going on for three years, I’ve had it up to my hair with you two idiots. Now get inside!”

Neither of them moved. They limited themselves to staring at each other, upset and ready to explode. “I said get inside!” Yelled the man, pushing them both through the door. “Start - talking. What the hell happened?!”

“He’s an asshole, that’s what happened!” Said Emily, pushing Dean away from her. “An unaffectionate, egoistic bastard!” Bobby immediately stopped her and divided the two siblings.

“For the love of god, stop hitting your brother! Be a fucking adult for three whole seconds!”

“Me?!” Emily looked at the man, her eyes widening in anger.

“Yes, you!” He said, grabbing her by the arm again and having her sit on the couch. He did the same with Dean.

They sat on the opposite sides and accurately avoided looking at each other.

“GROW UP, BOTH OF YOU!” Screamed Bobby, startling Emily way too much. “I’ve had enough of your fights, this has gone too far! You are going to find a way to get along and you are going to do it now!”

Then, he leaned on the wall in front of them and stopped talking. He stared at them. He gestured “go ahead.” with his hands. Soon, Ellen appeared through the door and she joined him as well. They would occasionally talk to each other, whispering a couple of words, but for the most part, the room was completely silent.

Emily didn’t want to be there. She would have given anything to just be somewhere else.

She still had to hear from the demon about bringing Sam back, which was the whole reason she had followed his orders.

She had nothing to lose.

Even if Sam came back, she would probably still be leaving the Winchesters, since it had become as clear as day that Dean didn’t want her there.

But what would she do? She knew she had to leave, but she wasn’t sure what she would do or if she really wanted to, for that matter.

She looked at Dean briefly and recognized that he had been crying. However, she was too hurt, too full of pride and decided that it wasn’t her fault. He could have been a decent brother.

He could not have been mean to her all those times.

He could have shown some kind of interest for her even if she was not about to die.

He never did.

Never once in the previous three years. It was always out of pity, out of the urgency of getting rid of the broken member of the family, the one that slowed them down.

She let a sob slip out and saw Dean roll his eyes. “What?!” She said, sharp. “I’m not allowed to cry now?”

“Do you ever do anything else?” He asked, aggressive. “Apart from screwing up I mean.” Emily immediately stood up, ready to throw her brother on the floor, but she was interrupted by Bobby’s voice.

“EMILY, SIT THE FUCK DOWN!”

“What, am I supposed to let him say whatever he wants to me?”

“How is breaking his nose going to make this any better?” He said. “One of you is gonna have to decide to be the bigger person at one point!”

Sam would have said to her that she should be the bigger person. One of them had to. Just be the same person you were when you baked pies for him, he would have said. Or when you brought him to your old house in Portland.

But Sam was dead and with him any persistence of what he would say to her.

silence

“What would your brother say?” Suddenly said Bobby, still staring at them. “Uh? What would Sam say if he was here right now?”

Dean and Emily shared a quick look before going back to staring at an indefinite point in front of them. They knew exactly what he would say. But saying it would have required them to let their guard down. It would have required admitting that they didn’t hate each other as they were pretending to.

silence

Ellen leaned in to whisper something to Bobby. He nodded. “I will be back in a second. For your own good you better be still there when I come back.”

He left the room with Ellen.

Emily quickly gazed at Dean. He quickly dried his face with the back of his hand.

Emily sniffed. For a while, that was the only sound in the room.

“Do you hate me?” She said, barely audible.

“No. No, I don’t think I do.”

“You don’t think?”

“Okay, Emily, Sam is dead, and it’s also your fault. And if that wasn't enough, you opened the fucking gates of hell. Think is the best I can give you.”

Emily released a long sigh and turned away from them. She tucked her legs on the couch and rested her head on her knees. “You really can’t see it, can you?” She said. “I also lost a brother. Again.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Sure, yeah.” She said, sarcastic. “I never do. After all, I am just a kid, right?”

“Right.”

silence

Be the bigger person.

That’s what Sam would have said. He would have told her to just say sorry, to be open.

To be vulnerable.

Although, she looked at Dean and she found herself locked into a mask of strength and stubbornness. Inside the mask, she was breaking into pieces. More than she was already broken. She was close to not having nothing left but her mask.

“Did you really try to save him?” He asked, all of a sudden.

“You know I did.”

“Are you sure?”

“He was stabbed in the spinal cord, there wasn’t much I could do.”

“So you didn’t even try?!”

“Holy fucking christ- YES, I TRIED! I TRIED FOR A WHOLE HOUR BEFORE YOU SHOWED UP!”

“But you-”

“THERE IS NO BUT! STOP TRYING TO FIGHT WITH ME!” She stood up and kicked the table in front of her, making it fall to the ground. The shards of a beer bottle which was resting on it covered the floor in front of the couch and a strong scent of beer spread. She walked to the window and, just like the previous time, leaned on the cold glass. She stayed there for a while, in silence, letting the low temperature calm her down. “It’s not gonna bring him back. And I can’t take it anymore. Please, just-” She turned around. “Just stop.”

He looked at her and nodded. Bobby came back at that exact moment. He stared at Emily, then at the table. Then at Dean.

“Can you go 5 minutes without kicking anything?” He put the table back into a standing position. “Sit back down.” She sighed and reluctantly sat back on the couch. “So, I am not your marriage counselor and it’s been an hour. Are you going to talk or what?!”

Dean and Emily gazed at each other for a second, then looked away.

“I swear to god-” whispered Bobby. “Emily, don’t you have anything to say to your brother? You’re only alive because he killed the damn thing just in time!”

Emily jumped on her feet. “You did…WHAT?!” Bobby tried to drag her down, but she escaped his grip to walk in front of Dean. “The whole reason I did what I did was that he was gonna bring back Sam and you…“

“And you really believed him? You really are more stupid then it looks.”

“I was trying to-”

“What?” Dean stood up as well. Bobby tried to intervene, but Emily had other plans. “I am sorry, Bobby, I really am.” She raised a hand and had his body fly away towards the wall, stopping a couple of feet before he actually hit it. He tried to protest, but Emily ignored him.

“Let him go.” Said Dean, stern.

“Right, so you can avoid this conversation a little bit longer?” She said, still holding the man up in the air.

“What on earth were you thinking, trusting a demon like that?!”

“You were going to kill yourself!” She pushed him.

“So you decided to die first so you didn’t have to watch me?!”

She raised a hand to slap him, but he was faster and intercepted her arm. The moment she had to resist Dean’s strength, Bobby fell to the ground. “I WAS TRYING TO SAVE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS!” She screamed back.

“AND YOU COULDN'T FIGURE OUT A WAY THAT DIDN’T INVOLVE RISKING YOUR LIFE?”

“COULDN’T YOU?!” He tried to speak, but Emily interrupted him. “I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF WHEN THE DEMON CAME TO ME!” Dean raised his hand to slap her but she stopped him just like he did with hers. They stared at each other, blocking each other’s arms. “Doesn’t feel good, does it?” She said, fighting him with all her strength. “When your sibling talks about offing themselves.” She slowly stopped fighting him and she dropped her arms by her side. “All these years, I was wondering why it was so difficult for you to just behave like a brother with me. Sam had his ideas but now I think I see it. He was wrong. None of that shrink shit was real, it was all made up. You’re not afraid to get attached, you are just an asshole.” Bobby, who had managed to stand back up, gave up on civility. He stared at them from where Emily had thrown him.

“You’re one to talk.” Answered Dean. “You never lost a chance to remind me how bad I was doing at being your brother, even if I was trying my best!”

“YOU CALLED ME A BITCH AND TOLD ME THAT IF I WANTED TO DIE SO BADLY I SHOULD HAVE CUT MYSELF VERTICALLY, IS THAT YOUR DEFINITION OF TRYING YOUR BEST?!”

“You’ve been hiding shit from me from the very first day!”

“HOW DOES THAT COMPARE WITH YOU FORCING ME OFF THE GROUND WHILE I WAS HAVING A LITERAL MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND COULD BARELY BREATHE?”

“YOU BROKE MY NOSE!”

“I BROKE YOUR NOSE BECAUSE YOU AND DAD STRESSED ME SO MUCH MY BRAIN SNAPPED IN HALF LIKE A BREADSTICK!”

Everytime they said something they would push the other away.

“I CLEANED YOU AND DRESSED YOU LIKE A FUCKING BABY!”

“I SPENT THE FUCKING NIGHT HOLDING YOUR UNGRATEFUL HAND WHILE YOU WERE DYING!” Emily gave Dean one final push. She tried to attack him again but he stopped both her hands. Frustrated and unable to move, she tried to set herself free and started crying again. Soon, her legs started shaking and they gave up on her. She leaned onto Dean’s chest as he was still holding her up by the wrists. “I just want you to be my brother, that’s all.” She said in between sobs. Breathing was becoming more difficult each second, her extremities going more and more numb as time went on. Dean let go of her arms, but she immediately reached for his wrist and held onto it, her nails digging into his skin like it was butter. With a grimace of pain, he tried to get rid of her hold, but she only made it tighter. She felt as if everything was collapsing under her feet and that wrist was the only thing to keep her alive. Her crying became less and less intense as she lost the ability to breathe, her body completely overwhelmed by a panic attack.

“Alright…“ he said, struggling to keep her standing. With the only available hand, he put her head on his chest and unexpectedly hugged her. “It’s okay. It’s over now.” He repeated. “You’re right, this is not good.” She finally let go of his wrist. He put his hand on the back of Emily’s head. “We’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

#tw #selfharm #tw selfharm #please read the tws #be the young #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural angst #supernatural sister fic #spn #spn fanfic #ao3 #supernatural a03 fanfict #sister fic

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