#lovers at the edge of eros
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Every day I get more convinced that I was created for you alone. It is through your eyes that I saw the world; on your lips my poems were born. Without you, my life is a wasteland. I am colorless, tasteless, smelling like a land never visited by rain.
Rawda el-Haj, tr. & ed. Adil Babikir, Modern Sudanese Poetry: An Anthology; “Heart’s Confessions”
#literature#poetry#rawda el-haj#modern sudanese poetry: an anthology#lovers at the edge of eros#we sit in each other's souls#you you you#sudanese lit#m#x
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Asteroid Eros (433)
Eros in the 1st House or Aries: You ooze raw, carnal magnetism, pulling people toward you with that “I dare you” energy. There's something primal about the way you move like you know exactly how to drive others wild with just a look. Your desires are intense and immediate; you want to be wanted right now. You crave the thrill of someone surrendering to your allure, giving in to that undeniable pull. The idea of passion on display, maybe a steamy, public encounter or a knowing glance that says everything it all fuels your fire.
Eros in the 2nd House or Taurus: Pleasure to you is luxury and indulgence, and you want to feel every sensation down to the last detail. Skin against silk sheets, the warmth of a lover’s breath on your neck, the taste of something decadent shared between you. You crave security and something steady but intense, a lover who can keep up with your unhurried, sensual pace. There’s nothing better than savoring the body like a fine wine slowly, deeply, one lingering touch at a time. You’re after earthy, tactile satisfaction, the kind that’s primal but leaves you fully satisfied.
Eros in the 3rd House or Gemini: You want to talk about it, tease it, twist words until the anticipation drives you wild. Mental seduction is your playground, and your foreplay happens through clever banter, whispered promises, and breathless exchanges. You’re drawn to lovers who keep you on edge, who can match your wit and play the game. Words are your aphrodisiac; a well-timed message or a flirty debate can be just as intoxicating as touch. You're the type who needs a lover that can keep up mentally, stirring the mind before the body even gets involved.
Eros in the 4th House or Cancer: Your passions are deep, private, and simmering beneath the surface waiting for the right person to unlock them. You crave a love that’s secure, a partner who lets you fully release behind closed doors. There’s a kink in the contrast: a picture-perfect facade for the world, but an intense, primal heat at home. Soft touches under blankets, hushed whispers in the dark, the kind of intimacy that feels forbidden yet safe. You want to drown in the kind of passion that no one else can see, something precious and hidden.
Eros in the 5th House or Leo: You’re all about passion and drama the kind that makes the walls shake. You want love affairs that feel like wild adventures, with grand gestures and thrilling rendezvous. Your desires are loud, unapologetic, and hungry. You’re drawn to partners who spark that primal side, the ones who make you feel alive and set the room on fire. Every encounter is like a performance, with passion so intense it could set hearts ablaze. You need someone who can match your energy, someone who’s in it for the thrill, the chase, and the fireworks.
Eros in the 6th House or Virgo: There’s something about the everyday that stirs your deepest desires. Secret glances across the office, a lover who surprises you at the gym, a stolen moment in the elevator. You crave partners who show devotion in the little things, making mundane moments electric. You’re drawn to the idea of “serving” each other in every sense whether that’s taking charge, being taken care of, or indulging in a dynamic where attention to detail becomes an act of devotion. It’s the hidden, spicy moments in routine that fuel your fire.
Eros in the 7th House or Libra: Your passion lies in complete, all-consuming partnerships where every boundary melts away. You crave a partner who matches your depth, who’s willing to dive into a soulful, lusty connection where both of you lose yourselves. You’re drawn to the idea of being fully seen and accepted, letting every inhibition fall away. Your desires lean towards one-on-one intimacy, where you can explore each other over and over, like peeling back layers. Possessive? Maybe. But there’s a thrill in knowing you belong to each other completely.
Eros in the 8th House or Scorpio: You are a walking invitation to the forbidden. Dark, intense, transformative connections light you up, and your desires are anything but ordinary. You crave a partner who can keep up with your hunger for depth a lover who isn’t afraid to confront the shadows with you. Power play, surrender, the thrill of holding and being held hostage by passion. There’s something about baring the soul and body, about being stripped to your core. You want a lover who’s as ravenous and relentless as you are, someone who knows that true intimacy is a plunge into the unknown.
Eros in the 9th House or Sagittarius: For you, desire is an adventure, and nothing turns you on more than exploring the unknown with a willing partner. Passion takes you to new heights exotic locations, daring escapades, and spiritual, mind-expanding experiences. You’re drawn to lovers who open your world, who make you feel that lust is a form of discovery. You want the freedom to roam and a partner who’s ready to explore uncharted territories with you, both physically and intellectually. Give you wild places, reckless escapades, and the thrill of something new.
Eros in the 10th House or Capricorn: Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac for you. You’re drawn to success, authority, and lovers who command respect. There’s a thrill in playing with power dynamics, in being with someone who knows exactly what they want and isn’t afraid to take it. Desire for you is in the allure of status, control, and that quiet confidence that only the powerful have. You want a partner who matches your ambition, someone who makes you feel that even your love life is a legacy. You crave a passion that elevates you, leaving a mark for the world to admire.
Eros in the 11th House or Aquarius: Your turn-ons are unconventional, offbeat, and utterly unique. You’re drawn to lovers who defy the rules, who see passion as an experiment and love as a journey into the unexpected. Friends-to-lovers? Maybe a partner who’s also your best friend, or a love that feels rebellious and free. You want someone who gets your quirks, who challenges conventions with you, who pushes you to explore what others might consider strange. There’s a thrill in exploring uncharted boundaries, in finding a love that’s truly one-of-a-kind.
Eros in the 12th House or Pisces: Your desires are hidden, enigmatic, and reach into the deepest layers of your soul. Forbidden connections, secret trysts, and lovers who feel like they’re from another world that’s what pulls you in. There’s a haunting beauty in surrendering to the unknown, and you’re drawn to lovers who ignite that sense of mystery. Desire for you is transcendent, almost spiritual, and you crave the kind of passion that dissolves the boundaries between reality and fantasy. You want to lose yourself completely, to explore realms of intimacy that others can only imagine.
#astrology#astrology notes#astrology observations#eros in astrology#eros asteroid#astreriod eros through the houses
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Thirsty Thursday - Paris, 1890
steddie, omegaverse, artist and muse, mpreg
After five years of struggling and starving, scrimping and saving, choosing to buy paints instead of food, Édouard Munson has become an overnight success. All the wealthy families of Paris want one of his paintings, enchanted by the way he has captured the beauty of his new favored model.
The first to gain notice, “Eos,” features Stéfan from behind, asleep in their shared bed, the rosy light of dawn illuminating his skin, making his hair glow bronze-gold. He covered to the waist with a thin sheet, but he is not cold—unseen to the viewer, the room is well-heated by the stove. Behind him, the indent left by his lover promises he will not be lonely long.As do the tiny indents at his neck.
“Eos” sold the day it was first exhibited.
Next comes “Dionysos,” an outdoor scene, lush with flowers, the young man crowned with laurels and draped with rich, purple silks. He holds a goblet to his lips, eyes closed in gentle ecstasy. Nymphs and satyrs dance in the background, and a rivulet of wine runs down his chin.
The gallery had a buyer lined up before “Dionysus” was put on exhibit.
After came “Apollo,” “Eros,” “Hedone,” and “Helios,” each of them selling for enough that Eddie could easily keep himself and Stéfan comfortable for a few years without selling another. But his heart still cries out to create, so Eddie keeps painting.
“Aphrodite” features a naked Stéfan in the bath, standing, facing away, his plush bottom on display and glistening with water as he reaches for a towel. The gallery owner buys it for himself.
Then, Eddie takes greater risks with his art style, painting Stéfan in rich, dark blues, his body becoming the night sky in “Selene,” each of his beauty marks a golden star, his navel now the moon, his small belly cradled with his hands. He is the whole of the cosmos, caring and sensual.
A collector snaps it up as quickly as possible, proclaiming, ��Now he is finding his vision!”
“The Marriage of Hymen” is a further departure, showing a small garden plot. A circle of seeds indent the dirt, next to a flower, its petals pink and red, wet with morning dew. It earns Eddie questions, and Stef blushes at his side. Even so different, it finds a buyer.
He returns to a more realistic style with “Pan.” It features two right hands, fingers slotted together, caressing a small breast. A rosy nipple peaks through a gap in the fingers. The tips of the fingers curl into a thatch of hair at the chest. It goes to the alpha who owns “Eos.”
That is followed by “Psyche,” a closeup of Stéfan in profile, lips parted, the fluttering of his eyelids created by the energetic strokes of Eddie’s paintbrush, the lashes dark with tears. He exhibits it, but refuses to sell, explaining that it was a gift for his omega.
Stef is on his arm and at his side at the gallery then, smiling when the prospective buyers turn to him, begging him to consider their offers. “I am sorry, monsieur, it is too precious a gift. I have been working on my own masterpiece for my husband, and I think this gift almost makes up for it.” His hand rests on his rounded stomach, and he rubs against the kicking of their pup as he gives a teasing wink.
That night, lying together in bed, Eddie holds Stef and kisses his neck. “Sometimes,” he whispers, “It is hard to believe that I have found you. Then I feel your heart beating next to mine and it seems inevitable. My soul knows your soul.” His hand joins Stef’s over their pup in his belly. “I think it always has.”
“It has. That’s why you see me the way you paint me. You see all of me, even the hidden parts—the parts that are only beautiful to you.”
“All of your parts are beautiful,” Eddie insists with a pout.
“Everyone has rough edges, my love, even me.”
“And they are beautiful in their roughness.”
“Eddie…”Stef turns to kiss the pout off his alpha’s lips, struggling because of his pregnant belly, grinning as Eddie rushes to help him. “All I care is that you love me. That you love us.”
Eddie kisses him back, soft and slow and sweet. “I always, always will.”
#steddie#omegaverse#fanfiction#omega steve harrington#alpha eddie munson#stranger things fic#ficlet#mpreg#thirsty thursday
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To any lovers left alive ( 恋人たち ‘The Lovers’ ), l.jy
inspired by weathering with you ( 2019 )
a failed love goddess saves herself by fleeing to earth and an ordinary hopeless romantic boy ( with his self claimed younger brother ), together they start a fail-proof service that can make the love of your life fall for you too. as he teaches her human relationships, they eventually come to adore each other too. though, as the universe's not in their favor, only left is to hope.
PAIRING lee juyeon x fem!reader, high schooler!eric
GENRE FLUFF, pretty angsty, slight fantasy, little smut ( MDI 18+ ), greek mythology!au ( eros & psyche ), hanahaki disease!au ( no one dies <;3 ), teaching love!au, forbidden rules aren’t in their favor love , little crime!au, amnesia!au, they run a love service, it rains a lot, human!juyeon, eros!reader, strangers to friends to ( nearly ) lovers, mutual pining ( but juyeon does it harder ), cute flirty needy juyeon, hopeless romantic and lovesick!juyeon, y/n likes to tease juyeon, adopted little brother!eric, high schooler!eric, makoto shinkai type of love like your name ( 2015 ), weathering with you ( 2019 )
WARNINGS call reader angel once, say fuck about 5 times, knife used as a metaphor of anger ( once ), juyeon finds and fires a gun, petty crime, ANGST — > bittersweet ending, fictional disease ( not conventionally used! ), amnesia, descriptions of coughing and breathlessness, mentions of violence ( physical ), SMUT — > kissing, making out, oral ( f receiving ), palming, dry humping, soft begging, p in v, unprotected ( don’t try at home ), juyeon’s touched starved af, both are kind of switch, very fluffy smut
WORD COUNT 33.6 k
PLAYLIST
a/n : this is one of my favorite pieces ive written so I hope you like it! don’t try to translate the japanese on the banner😭, it’s literally just bs to make the banner look like the movie posters😭 I don’t usually write smut, but I thought it added to the story. but don’t worry! it’s very soft and not hardcore at all ( very fluffy ). it’s a bit angstier than my other works, not by much, it’s predominantly fluff. it’s very melancholic!
like and reblog are highly encouraged!
"A RECENT SPIKE IN NEW USERS FOR DATING APPS HAS CAUSED DEVELOPERS TO BE ASTOUNDED.
At the same time, hashtags like love is dead are trending number one on social media platforms like Twitter. Young people all over the internet are sharing their recent heartbreak, leaving us to question the mega romance struggle of the youth generation.”
When the glass door to the inner room falls close behind her, the voice from the TV in the left upper corner becomes merely a vague presence in the night. It ceases between the synthetic material of her raincoat in the harsh weather as she stands on the deck, a meter from the center. A wind from far away collides with the fragment of her face beneath the hood. How the rain, cold, impacts her skin before they descend down the curvature.
But between the loose strands in nonexistent patterns before her eyes, shines the city in total divine. Each lightsource, limited in a single square, stacked on top of the other, reflects in the water as they approach port.
The boat collides with the stone lining surrounding the city port. It echoes over the raging sea and Y/n forces her hands deeper down the fabric of her pockets. While the people in neon green vests let the metal reach over to land, the dock, she for a single second stood alone on, is slowly filling over with people from indoors.
The vague heat across the passengers clothes as they pass her by. She stands still to let them cross the arch above water without reflection. Y/n walks out the metal bridge with the last five passengers. When her body reaches fast land, she hears resonant voices from the workers behind, together with the metal being thrown up against the dock.
At the very edge of the city, she looks up towards the highest lights, where the towering buildings fade into the rain clouds. To then look down, where the crowd of passengers enters between litten up corners. The backpack on her shoulders feels immensely light as she looks at the nearest street where signs emit neon blue and starlight yellow.
But as the celestial behind the clouded sphere continues to move when she stands underneath it, Y/n forces the straps higher and walks between the entrance of neon delight.
The storm from the first day she laid her eyes on the city, still lingers over the high buildings. Though, the heavy rain that plummets against the architectural dimensions, can’t reach her in between all these walls. In a hostel room, cramped between six–five enclosures, until the very outer edge of the building meets weather, she sits cramped up against the computer desk.
Teared tour guides of the metropolitan city, stacked on top of each other, and the white screen in complete view of her vision, showcases link after link of potential jobs. Every blue sentence turns purple as she passes down the page. But each leads to a paragraph with a solid brick wall. From the first word down to the next five, Y/n doesn’t have to read more to realize she isn’t qualified.
At last, at the tail end of the first page, she finds an application for a job at a hostess bar. Three clicks among the main streets on google maps, she finds the neon sign in an alley. Half of its radiance, covered by alternate indorses. The street view won’t let her in to see the entrance, compressed between shadows.
Y/n falls back into the chair. The rectangular screen ventures from sight field as her mind receives the blue illuminated walls and brown wood of the desk. One can barely see the floor in this precarious space, therefore, she leans further back, embraces her legs and watches the ceiling. The walls impend on her figure, but somehow she feels guarded. Between all layers, she stays hidden from the eyes of the storm or silhouettes remote from street lights.
The complete silence of this space, bane in a second, being her stomach. A kind of sound that only comes by hunger, and a sort that pains at the very inside of the body. Y/n looks down from the walls, lets one arm off her legs and gently wraps it around her stomach.
Her eyes wander the table. Between the small titles of books, keyboard and paper scribbles, lies three bills in vertical order. A single shadow beneath the gaping parts where paper bends, causes of the light from the screen. Y/n stares at it as if it will change. But the only thing in motion is the light from the computer, when she hasn’t moved the cursor and the white fades to a darker shade.
Her shift will be tomorrow night, and the money beside the computer will be needed for the morning, in the badly lit register, where a man sits behind a scratched plastic veil. The same sound from before lingers between the room and Y/n gently stands up. The chair creaks as she pushes it under the table and turns against the artificial light, to get the plastic raincoat, dripping of water from the weather thundering outside.
“I apologize, I’m-”
“Out! You’re fired!”
The last words leaving her mouth echoes over the blue-red litten street. As his face is only a centimeters from the back door, she takes the handle and forces it close. The sharp edge of the black metal tears the space in between them. His eyelids fall shut, chin down towards his chest as his right foot trips over the elevation in asphalt. In the limited back door space, where he stands secluded from rain, are two plastic bins. His feet touch the ground where water has endured along concrete and created a static puddle. The opposite loses grip and his shoulder lands on the brown bin, at the edge of the cubicle.
How in an instant, the fall of rain against concrete existed only auditorily, but to now soak his white shirt. The brown bin, together with his own silhouette, falls down the asphalt, creating waves in the thin build up of water. All its insides are dispersed across the alley, beside his knee, to the cigarette ashtray down the other wall.
He lets hands coat himself in midnight rain as he forces to stand. Assemble the pieces in neon light as he desperately wonders where to take himself next. Wherever his thoughts seem to take him, his mind always runs back to his brother.
When the bin stands upright, at the place it first belonged, he sees a brown paper bag below it. Sealed in tape across the opening. To reach down and see dark spots form, where his fingers touch the paper. His eyes curiously brightened by the red neon sign above. The paper bag, tightly shut, seamlessly goes into his pocket. Even as he comes out the back alley of restaurants and out the high end street where people without faces covered in raincoats brush against him, he thinks about the slight weight change in his right pocket.
-
At the glass door into a fast food chain where a doorstep separates the water and white clear floor, he steps in. When it locks to the frame, the weather becomes simply a vague background shatter against the windows. Instead, static rhythms come from the TV in the higher corner.
He finally takes a seat. Black tray decorated in a thin piece of paper with his order placed on top. The grease of the burger seeps through the wrapping. As he sits on the extended piece of table up against the window, he sees fragments of a color spectrum in the dark as people pass him by. He takes off his marine blue raincoat, water courses through the folds and down the hem, before it assembles and falls to the floor. To let it continue pour beneath the chair as he places it on the back rest. He sits down again, sees his reflection in the window. Though supposed to be a transparent barrier to another scene, in the dark, even windows become mirrors. He sees a vague outline of his metal plate on his uniform. “Juyeon”, outlined in two languages fully black. Before opening his meal, he unclips the brooch and lays it beside the tray.
While half way through his burger, the paper bag in the right pocket off his raincoat crosses his mind. Still with the burger in one of his hands, the other reaches to the end of his raincoat, where the hem line dances upon the floor. It whispers of paper and he has it only a centimeter or two below the table. Juyeon’s chin leans forward and the strands of his fringe fall with it.
He turns it upside down and inspect the crinkled sides. Finally lets his food down the tray to use both hands to gently loosen the tape from the fibers. The fold at the very top of the brown bag opens and Juyeon cautiously reaches his finger in between.
He can’t completely ascertain why he took it. Maybe because there’s no firm reasoning to argue, since it was only pure curiosity. One doesn’t throw a sealed package in the bin, he thinks.
Strands of his fringe seem to fall faster when his eyes reach for the black complexion hiding beneath the paper. The skin of his fingers feels cold hard material, and when his hand returns, revealing half of the object in matt black, his eyes go from curious to wide of racing heart.
He only sees the object for a second, but nonetheless, Juyeon brings it to his stomach and leans over the table. The bag is in full shadow beneath his body and eyes coated in a thin layer of horrid adrenaline, watching the surrounding tables. When the weighting pressure against his chest has started to loosen and the avid line of light in his eyes has run out, Juyeon leans up a little. Let the radiance from the spotlight ceiling find its way in and make sense of the object again.
As he sat and wished it was a dream, beneath him, in his own lap, lies a gun. Sharp lines of its corners contrast violently against the color palette of the restaurant. Juyeon takes his hand down towards it, feels the weight. Sounds of dark pitch when tapping his nail against it. There is no frame in his mind whether the object in his lap is a real gun. Closest being a toy gun from the local kids shop in younger days. It could not be real, he thinks, as it turns to the other hand.
Either way, when Juyeon once again looks up, the scenery is as serene as the first time. At the highest corner above the toilets is a screen. TV that, instead of music distracts from the overbearing silence of a strange place, plays the news. The woman in the suit talks about the spike in dating apps. With the first mention of romance, Juyeon looks away. Cage the voice, to simply return to background noise, without a purpose of being understood.
For the last time his eyes recoil to the gun. Juyeon takes up the paper bag again, folding it gently around the gun before reaching to his jean pocket. If it’s real, he needs to keep it hidden and preferably leave it inside another dark alley along the city streets. And if it is just simply plastic, it bears no consequences.
Where paint starts to fade, cloth seen behind the window and electric cables rather than leaves. Y/n stands on her toes to inspect the details of glass into private lives. An apartment complex compressed between five others, stairs where the rain varies in flow, down each step to the closest drain and three windows in lack of light.
In contrast to the constant pedestrian crossings further away, places like these may hold people with forgetful minds about their doors, or just the framework itself that is supposed to protect them, won’t.
At the third floor of the complex in gray shade, is a dark window with broken lining placed a meter from the stairway. Y/n has gone into the alleyways where lush plants of the forever rain covers any spots where street lamps would shine between the high buildings. It's cramped, shoulders brush between edges of green plantation and feet nearly trip over pots. There are metal fences in blue pigment that creak every time she opens or closes them. But at last, she stands at the end of the stairs, beside a plant, suffocated in water.
To reach out the window with red hands as an effect of cold, onto the ice metal lining. It hurts in those fingers but nonetheless, Y/n continues to pull on loose pieces and hit the frame. As another wind rises, a star dies and one room in the neighborhood darkens. The square design loosens from the complex and creaks amidst the rain shatter.
It’s simple to take one step onto the sill and force one’s body up the elevation, to then fall to the opposite floor. Though, as Y/n then stands up to observe the secret world of someone else’s, she feels just a little guilty as eyes return to the floor. How her shoes holding rain frees it, and causes thin puddles to collect beneath. Y/n turn her head, two beds beside her, and way in, a kitchen. She walks up to the counter where a few plates are stacked and the window above the sink opens for light over the otherwise shadowed details.
Immediately, there’s a neatly organized box of ramen packages close to the sink. Placed in color order, Y/n’s hand, just a little hesitant to actually reach out and ruin it. Three red’s that she gently puts in her raincoat, because it was most of that color. Now her eyes adverts from the counter up to the shelves. Hidden furthest where the sharp lines and walls cut off any highlights, she sees a plastic bag. Y/n stands on her toes to force her hand in, it echoes of plastic throughout the apartment. When reading the label, it’s melon bread.
A sudden sound goes through the walls, a click from the hallway behind her. Y/n looks over her shoulder to see a streak of yellow light, painting the floor before it disappears when the door closes once again. Fabrics and keys, chaotic in that part of the complexion and Y/n stares at the wall before the new presence. All thoughts that race through her mind, become none when they all collide into each other. A fragment of an idea does make itself out of the blur. But there is no use in hiding beneath the sink or running towards the window, because when her eyes drift for an escape, the person reveals himself and stares eye to eye with her.
As if body, absent like two curtains drifting apart, her soul left before him. She hasn’t realized the anonymity in the real world until the eyes of someone else, truly authenticate her existence. How much of humanity is just to fill up old space and pass each other in it.
As neither of them say anything, a second silhouette appears from the hall.
“What’s wrong-” He, a distance in height from the former and in navy school uniform with a backpack, halts his words when closing in on the taller, and then follows the line of stare to her figure. The taller’s eyes turn sharp in casted light from outside. He takes a step back to the one in school uniform, so his body hides from her sight, aside from the glimpse of hair and eyes above the shoulder.
“Who are you?”
Y/n lift her hands up to head length, the plastic of red vibrant packages crinkles with it, “I’m not here to hurt anyone.” She purses her lips in, tears her eyes away from theirs as she watches the city framed in the window. To let her hands down again, Y/n stacks the three red packages on top of each other and the bread neatly beside.
“I’ll leave.” Her shoes stain the floor and cold air forge divides them as she passes down the hallway. The one protected by a taller shoulder, watches her take the door handle and turns when he feels the presence of the one before him alter.
“You didn’t take anything else?” The taller one asks while looking at her. The line of his shoulders aren’t as tense, the shine in his eyes from the awake city at night, reflects like a single star rather than the red light at the tops of soaring buildings. Y/n holds her hand still on the metal, shakes her head. Soon after, he frees his back from the shorter, continuing up the counter. Eyes of the one in uniform follows him and lingers in the direction plastic can be heard. Then, in a slightly faster haste than daily walk, he comes up to her with the three ramen and bread.
Her eyes remain in wonder over his two hands with mere distance to her own. And as another second passes, she sees a fruit bar of sorts on top of the ramen. Y/n takes her eyes off the food in an uncertain manner, towards the window. The student who still glances in her direction, stays at that line of floor.
The plastic sounds again as he motions it towards her. His fringe follows that action, “You needed the food.” He says gently and this time, fully extends his arms to let the vibrant material fold gently against her stomach.
Y/n finally lets her hands around it, rain on her coat, now spreading across the synthetic. The shoes on her, find themselves in an awkward position and vision wanders between two points. Therefore, the boy gently nods and purses his lips in.
Her hand finally weighs down on the handle and a light, much stronger than the moon, opens from that point. It casts itself over him and the one further into the apartment. She for the first time realizes the complexity in human features as the highlights contrast with its shadows.
“Thank you…I’m sorry.” Y/n says quietly before closing the door.
There’s an empty seat to his right at the back of the bus. Sunshine behind the cloud layers has passed, and during evening, the rain remains, and shatters against the windows with an ever changing view. Juyeon watches each droplet race across the glass before it implodes against the edge. The sequence as if taken out of a memory, he stares for a bit longer.
A monotone voice lingers along the bus as it comes to a stop. The rain enhances when the doors separate. A woman in the middle of the bus walks out and at the front steps a boy in. By only a faint glimpse of his profile, even in between the masses of crowds, Juyeon would make out the features and smile as he does now. Eric waves goodbye to two girls standing beneath the door before turning his head, locking eyes with Juyeon at the very back.
Eric takes the right seat next to the older. Let the backpack off his shoulders and lie it in his lap. Juyeon observes each action and synthetic fold of the material til the door closes and the cityscape moves forward. The younger one suddenly looks up at Juyeon who still smiles, so much that his eyes start to crease.
“Player.” Juyeon pats his shoulder against Eric’s. Meanwhile the one in sudden accusation takes up the umbrella, where it has compiled a small puddle. It spills rain on their pants as he waves it towards Juyeon, and he lets out a laugh and covers his face behind his hands. Before Eric has gotten the entire backseat rain covered, Juyeon takes his wrists and forces it down.
“I’m not.” Eric switches to a more comfortable position, “You’re just hopeless.”
Juyeon scoffs, “I’m not.”
Eric does the same, leaning his body over Juyeon’s, and hand, reaching for his pocket. Eric is back in his own seat before Juyeon’s expression converts. While Juyeon furrows his eyebrows and asks him what he’s doing, Eric has his lockscreen on perfect display, HD in all dimensions, perfectly framed in the rectangular screen. The younger one turns the phone up against his nose.
Juyeon would scold him, but his lips fall shut as the smile from dreams enters his sight once again. The picture is from a day in which the weather was warmer and the sun stood in complete limelight, cloud curtains out of view. A month has gone by, but somehow it feels as if glimpsing into a past life as he makes eye contact with the captured past.
Juyeon takes the phone back, holds it in two hands. Eric sits quietly to observe Juyeon, and quickly sighs when the older doesn’t turn off the screen. Juyeon looks up, visible pout on his lips and fallen eyes, he consciously holds the phone while Eric falls back in his seat.
“You still have her as your lockscreen?”
He doesn’t answer.
Eric sighs again, “Hopeless.” He widens his eyes, “Hopeless!”
Juyeon too leans back, letting the younger’s words drown him like the downpour. The screen close to his face again. Somehow, the longer he stares at it, he feels as if she will stand there again before him, like the spring they first met. But each night he longingly waits, but rain season never ends.
-
At the last stop, where there’s only vague lights and dark roads. They walk under their own umbrellas. The shatter over the bus seems to haunt them wherever they go. From where cars and buses flashes beside each scenery, building walls close in on them. Each meter reaches beyond the next alley, how it feels as if the edge of the umbrella will make marks in the walls.
It is quiet between them, Juyeon looks at Eric and observes the delicate details over his face. He smiles where the umbrella covers it. Some days, on the same street, Eric’s voice can echo past the last wall and reach further out to the sides where the signs extend. And other days, his imaginative world stays where it was born. Juyeon guesses it must have been a tiring day.
An abrupt sound from a left alley draws a crack in the ambiance evening. Eyes of the two turn towards that vague litten path. Their sneakers cease to form circular patterns in puddles as their vision tries to reach in between the signs. At last, they finally see the figure of a girl moving backwards, away from someone on the other side as her hands extend against the wall. A shout echoes again and a man comes from the opposite side, charges against her and she pulls herself even higher up the wall.
The two of them stand like nature in mid winter, frozen and left to watch the world. Eric’s eyes become wider when the man pulls off her raincoat hood, tauntingly gestures his hand to her face and takes a grip on her hair. The frown on Juyeon’s face reads. Though, none of them steps another foot into the alley.
“Juy-” Eric whispers but his voice disappears when Juyeon walks forward. Each step on the stones becomes slower as he falls in line with the center.
There’s a second presence underneath nightlife entrance. He catches sight of Juyeon first, shine of fine metal as he sharpens his eyes. Juyeon’s dispute in cautious surveillance as the man and girl shift towards him. As they lock eyes, Juyeon recognizes her features. It’s of manmade light, though, familiar as ever.
“What do you want?” The one with turned back asks.
Juyeon deliberately closes his hands around the umbrella, “Please, let go of her.”
The man scoffs, “It’s none of your business, Boy.”
“I’m telling you to take a step away from her.”
“As I said,” The man takes his hands off the wall, reiterating those words as he comes closer.
“It’s none of your business!”
The man forces his heavy arms on Juyeon’s shoulders. Lean his weight onto his palm until Juyeon falls backwards. His left foot comes behind the other, and his hand nearly loses the umbrella. Before he comes upon the asphalt, a hand on his collar obliges the rain to violently graze his face.
At the same time, the girl walks off the wall. Contempt she takes her hand out to grip the man’s blazer. Though, before her fingers touch the black fabric, the second man comes behind her. The weight of his arm comes over her shoulders, coercing her knees to fall.
Juyeon, through the cruel grip in high angle, sees her struggle. He verges on violence, taking the loose end of his blazer and pulls him closer. But when the man loses balance, both his hands come over his shoulder. Weighed down on opposite sides, causing Juyeon to groan. Over him, he constraints Juyeon, forcing ground to pierce his back.
How the cold rain seeps through the clothing, soaks his skin until red and itches. As he tries to force his legs up, the man pushes his weight onto him harder, hands against his throat. Barely breathing, it’s enough to convert rain to stars, being buried six feet under. Each tear from the sky falls in his eyes and Juyeon irregularly closes them so as to make eye contact with the one above.
“What will you do about it, Boy?” He taunts.
Shirt scratches against the ground once more, a raindrop falls onto a middle point of his eyes. Juyeon trails his right hand onto the asphalt. Each sharp edge of the black stone seizes his skin and draws white patterns. He reaches for his pocket, desperately lifts on his body to make room for just a centimeter as water leaks into his clothing. Before his thighs weighs down his own, Juyeon gets the gun out. Takes his opposite from the ground, has the two of them on the trigger. With fully extended arms, he directs it towards his face, the hole as a third eye beneath him.
He scoffs from above, “Like you will kill me either way?”
Raincoats folding against each other to the left, as the other man holds Y/n down. His strong complexion covers Eric down the alley and Juyeon secures his eyes on the man. Pressure sores from the grinding teeth as his point finger shakes over the extinguisher. The rain falls down the matt material of the gun and down his skin. He curses the damn gun for being plastic as the man’s aggravation fuels constraint. A last taunt leaves his lips, rage when sunken to hell, crosses his chest as if by a knife, Juyeon pulls the trigger.
Juyeon closes his eyes the moment the trigger transcend the boundary, and an ear piercing sound shocks between the high walls. Loss of vision, it feels as if the entire platform adheres to that wave. Once he opens his eyes, the shockwave has consumed all provoke. To trail the dust, it ascended and broke a street lamp, devastating the lucent.
He distances himself, wide eyed, etched in terror, Juyeon lies still, seeing his pretense have grown ugly from the sudden shatter as the man takes two steps back. Juyeon finally sits up, rests his hand against the asphalt while still in condemnation. He tears it in a second to turn left. The girl holds the same posture as the two others, he realizes there’s no hands on her shoulders. Juyeon forces himself up, grabs her arm and collides shoulders with the man. He sees Eric standing at the same position as he left him and breathes til it hurts.
“Run!” Juyeon shouts.
-
He sees those windows he walks by everyday, and Eric accelerates his feet to fall in line with Juyeon. The younger takes him by the upper arm jacket and forces him to stop.
“Where the fuck you get the gun?” Eric spits.
Juyeon tears his arm away and looks at the streetlights in row. No stranger is present under the yellow light, so Juyeon looks back towards Eric and forces the gun lower in his pocket.
“I found it in a paper bag, I didn’t know it was real.” He sighs, “I’ll get rid of it tomorrow, okay?”
Eric doesn’t argue further, instead takes a step back from the circle of light surrounding them. Eric stands with his back against him, head advancing in parallel to the ground as his wet shoes touch the dead grass in between the wall and asphalt.
“Why did you do that?”
Juyeon turns around, a thin layer of startle lies over the pupil and his chest still falls heavily from lack of air. He blinks a few times as the girl’s shoulders fall with her chin. Only a finite part of her features is visible in streetlight and the two boys wait for her in silence as she turns in her place and watches the obscure details of the wall.
“I needed that job.” She says finally and looks up. The rain at her scalp runs down each strand until it forms a droplet at the edge. Until it lands on the skin beneath her eye.
Juyeon watches her cold written figure in fabricated light with mouth slightly agape, as if wanting to say something but no words are to use. The older feels a sudden push against his upper arm. To slip one dimension out of trance, he looks down where the wall becomes background and Eric waits impatiently. Eric’s left side leans continually towards her direction in haste, as his eyes widens. Juyeon stares at the action for a second, until returning, with the same expression as before but with a burden from the shorter.
“I’m sorry…” Juyeon starts. She too face him, chin still a centimeter down and pupils drained of rain, or maybe worry.
“...I thought you were in danger.” He focuses on the point where the worn down wall meets the asphalt and green complexion grows amidst. How his cold hand runs up to his neck where even his hair hasn’t been saved from downpour. There’s a sort of diversion in the way he looks down, seeming to stare at a point far away. As if it were a clear night sky with four constellations, he speaks again.
“I shouldn't have assumed, I’m sorry.”
Eric gives no part in sound, but still, nods his head gently. The girl at the other side of the faint circle, illuminated by the lamp, presses a faint smile.
“You’re forgiven.”
Juyeon looks up fully and as if another star convulsed, their expression shifts and her features are now in full view. How the moon in her veil has finally revealed the hidden side and the girl smiles fully. She shakes her head to make room for the skin concealed in strands. A filter in blue green light, enchanted by city night, conceal the space they stand in and she feels two leaves opening up its sides to reveal itself.
“I’m Y/n.” she takes out her hand, cold as the other two’s.
“I’m Juyeon.” He shakes her hand, “This is Eric.” And motions it to the younger.
“Hello.” Eric says with a pressed smile.
Y/n tilts her head, a visible change in angle as she looks at Juyeon then Eric.
“Are you brothers or?”
“Yes.” Eric says. Juyeon laughs awkwardly.
“Not biologically, Eric’s my adopted brother and my mother passed away recently.”
“Oh, sorry for your mother.”
Juyeon shakes his head gently, “She had been sick for sometime, we take care of each other well, right Eric?” He touches his shoulder with his elbow which causes Eric to look up.
“Mm!” He nods.
Eric is eventually the one to ask Y/n to come in with them as the rain starts once again. Her raincoat is as wet as theirs and during the interval of their conversation, even puddles form beneath their coats. Y/n is the last one left in the bathroom. She stands with her hair above the tub, draining remaining water from her hair. Juyeon edges on the doorframe to the bathroom, looks at her with vast eyes before walking to his bed. He lends her a muted green set of clothing that he can’t remember from where.
“You’re not from here, are you?”
Y/n shakes her head in the bedroom.
“I took the boat here.”
“Where do you come from?” Juyeon asks, seated at the edge of the bed. His hands gathered at the front of his lap. Y/n looks down her own, takes the hem between two fingers before speaking.
Her tone is gentle, birds sing in the arch of her, “I don’t think you’ll believe me.”
"Why?" You can tell us.” He tilts his head.
She wonder over the ceiling. Underneath this roof, it feels as if none can hurt her, “I’m not human.”
Juyeon’s quiet, smiles cautiously to mirror her, “I-”
His first thought is to reach out his hand and tell her she’s obviously wrong, but, there’s a certain rudeness in telling a mere stranger they have an incorrect idea about themselves.
Y/n laughs, “Do you believe in gods, Juyeon and Eric?” She looks at the two beds.
“No.” Eric answers immediately.
“Then, I have to break it to you.” She looks at Eric, “I am the love Goddess.”
“Yeah, and I’m a Unicorn.” Eric laughs.
“Eric?!” Juyeon panics, in which Y/n laughs again.
“Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to believe it.”
Surrounded in conversations for a bit longer as her coat drips of rain still. The two of them come in on work, when Juyeon asks her. Y/n scratches her head as she tells him it was her only chance at a job. That nearly everything is gone after the city journey. Juyeon bites his lip and shifts weight in the bed as that hidden guilt echoes within.
“Can’t you start a service?” His sudden voice lingers over the hard floor. Y/n has her head in his direction, with eyes casted by the little lamp beside the mattress. Juyeon takes his hand on the edge of the bed and Eric watches from the opposite side how he settles onto his knees, further than a meter distance, but close enough for her to feel the wooden floor trail his motions in the contrasting sereness of Earth
“I mean,” Juyeon takes one hand on the floor and leans onto it.
“Say, you promise to people to put in their name and someone they like, that they’ll fall in love, in exchange you get money?”
To deflect from the thin bridge created between them, Y/n returns to the hemline. Where the washed out fabric turns sparse, and because of the warm light from, the outline of her legs filters through the fabrication. The spot beside him becomes desolate as he takes his hand back to his own warmth, to rest with the other in the curve of his lap.
“Maybe…” She answers without looking.
Juyeon shifts his legs, he falls into a criss-cross position, “I mean, magic is profitable, people seem to like it.” He looks behind himself to point at Eric on the other bed, but stutters as his silhouette has fallen between the blue patterns, only his feet visible at the edge.
“I-I see high school students with magic stones all the time.”
Y/n smiles again. To bring her legs up from the floor and embrace them with her arms as she leans into the gap created by colliding knees.
“It is one of the first rules as a god to not interfere with human life for personal gain.” She pauses, “I probably shouldn’t.”
It turns silent once again, or, silence aside from the snoring coming from the bed in the corner. Then of course, a city is never fully asleep. He scratches his nape and diverts his vision to the dishwasher in the kitchen, “I’m sorry, I just feel really bad for the job thing.” His back falls towards the floor gently, but despite delicate, he hits it. As it lingers amid the inner four walls and trails to her end, she smiles and laughs.
“It’s okay,” Y/n nods, “I’ll think about it.”
“Is it true?” One of the girls, in high ponytail, wrapped in red silk band asks.
Y/n nods, pushes the pink box one step closer over the table. She takes up the black marker, holds it out to them. With an encouraging motion of her hand and the calm line of her lips. Before the girl at the center touches hands with Cupid, Eric comes forward.
“You can get a free trial.”
The peaceful features on her face, reminiscent of a spring morning, disappears like it has run one season back. Her head shifts towards him in a second, eyes wide and begs him as to why he just uttered those words. Eric sees them, but looks away, just as calmly as he said that sentence.
“Try for free and if it works, tell the others around the school.” He holds out his hand, “Deal?”
The girl in center alternates intent with the two beside her. The gaze bridging between them must have sent some obsolete signals, Y/n think, cause after, she who has the pen reaches out her hand. Y/n, desperate, tells herself not to tremble when the girl takes a pink note. How the synthetic tip scratches against the dry paper surface, and after a few seconds, the girl lets the note fall into the liminal space seeping light into the box.
Y/n watches in silence as they disappear out the door and follow their back silhouette as far as the windows down the hall let her. Y/n looks at him once again. Eric lifts his eyebrows as her eyes are intensely edged and while her left cheek seems to pout out a bit further than the right.
“It’s business.” He says, “After you actually make them fall in love, the whole school will come rushing in here.”
Y/n tilts her head back. Impatience bound through her veins when she feels as if the sun hasn’t risen another centimeter. Her arms across her chest as she thinks about dirty hostels and forbidden rules.
Eric sighs and one of the backpack straps falls down his shoulder, “Trust me, rumors spread fast in here.”
She nods, accepting the fact that the human beside her knows more than she does.
-
Only one more student came by that morning. They had allegedly built curiosity when a pink flier at the bottom of the stairs, written in bold letters with about four thousand hearts, crinkled when they opened the main entrance. Y/n was rather skeptical of the poster Eric gifted her. The A4 was the cleanest shade of white she had ever laid her eyes on, either way, when he asked why, she didn’t want to admit it was the rough edges of his lettering. Also, that her own wasn’t worth a duck feather pen in fine ink either.
Eric said he needed to go to his next class. Y/n had taken a seat down one of the chairs beside a desk. She shifted her head where the sun struck his face, the warm filter over his complexion, reminded her of gold. He told her to lay low, even go to the cafe two buildings away if teachers control the flier pointing at room 233 .
When she watched his silhouette fade from yellow tones and into shadows of the cold litten building. His back draped in navy fabric disappears behind the same wall as all four other people. As only the ventilation lingers between the dust and even the clock over the door stands frozen in time at 14:17, Y/n sighs and turns her head to the window. Staring worriedly at a point beyond the sky only she can see.
-
How the end of each shoe shatters against the floor as students pass by the windows of each classroom down the corridor. As the teacher neither sits on her own desk or stands before the chalkboard, all fabrics, bags and voices come in clusters, lined up against each corner and wall.
A voice from the right side of the classroom, beside the window, draws his vision to them. At that corner of the room stands a group of four other boys. Eric waves before walking between the desks down the spot underneath the sunlight.
“You’re late.” One indicates.
“I’m always.” Eric laughs and lets the backpack fall off his shoulder.
“But I saw you on the way here, you were with some girl?” The other in the group starts making noises and hitting his shoulder. Eric instead rolls his eyes.
“She needed help, she’s my brother’s age either way.”
The book in his bag comes up in height with Eric’s head, before he swings it against the one beside him. It lands on his chest and the other boys laugh loudly. Though, fades in a second when inpatient footsteps run down the hall and crash though the classroom frame. The entirety of the classroom has turned their heads to the one at the center of the chalkboard. It’s the football captain of the team. His hair stands shiverled, the one collar of his blazer is folded inside. At the same time, while all eyes are on him, he scans the panorama and stops when he sees the group furthest down to the left.
His eyes light up in a way only described in fairytales. The curve of his lips and the breath of relief that go through them as he runs up to the group. The people surrounding that desk make room for him as he comes closer. On one of the chairs sits the girl who put her name in the pink box. Eric can only see the boy’s back but clearly each and every change in her facial features. It feels as if she hasn’t closed her eyes since he came before the desk. They sparkle reflection of his own and he finally speaks.
“I walked past a flower shop yesterday, and I saw this, it reminded me of you so I ran and bought it.” He takes up a silk wrapped bouquet that takes up the entirety of his backpack. A gasp goes through the room, and the girl too, lacks air in her lungs as she hesitantly takes the flowers. She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.
“I love you, Lynn.”
Whispers of excitement fill the four walls and dares to break through the window. Faintly beside him, Eric makes out that the four behind him start whispering too and laughs.He thinks of the paper down the stairwell and Y/n on the floor above. How he has maybe found God, placed in his mundane daily life.
-
In the tear of afternoon Eric lets his bag levitate over the floor as he waits for the teacher to set the ending breath of her sentence. And the moment she does, Eric takes full step across the sharp edges of each desk and nearly falls over one. Out in the hallway, Eric runs, his figure covers the orange shade seeping through each window as he comes up the stairs, making the poster almost lose touch with frail plastic tape.
At the second floor, he searches each frame that lets him glimpse through the transparency and into the room behind walls. And at the very end, where he left her before the class, her back stands against the bygone rectangle in sun bleached composition. Y/n turns from the school scenery and looks back at him. It could be the novel perspective he has gained that makes him biased, but he wonders if she knew his presence up the stairs before even this dimension let her hear it.
Her features are peacefully drawn against her skin, not a single rule of tension as she questions his presence with vast eyes.
“How did you do it?” Eric walks up closer to her. Y/n smiles and leans further against the window to watch the vague silhouettes and their shadow drawn across the concrete.
“I told you, I’m not human.” She looks at him.
As voices from the entangled hallways underneath their feet reach their ears, Eric wonders if a change in perception will happen, if he lets the minute visor move one step further. Even Y/n’s expression alters. The younger one leans in a bit closer, his pupils seem to search for a fragment of something else, to make sense of her place in home he thought he knew. Y/n herself tense and with immense eyes, takes up her hands.
Like a child taking its first step to explore the vast Earth, Eric reaches his finger out to touch her nose, then her cheek. Later the eyelid, force to close and open it which eventually makes Y/n take a step back and blink about three times in span of one. Y/n laughs slightly as Eric still observes her essence without blinking.
A sharp sound, contrasting to the muted creaks of desks and old walls veiled in delicate old linen. Behind her back, an arrow that balances between the points of two fingers. She looks towards his face, not a single filter thrown over a feature of his astonished expression. Sun reflects onto it as it weighs in her hand, and she closes the space in between them as the arrow comes underneath his chin.
“So you believe me now?” Y/n asks, still smiling.
How his eyes, comparable with the sun as they delights in curiosity. His fingers reach for the arrow, but hesitantly closes in on his chest before he looks up towards her again. Y/n nods gently and takes her hand closer and his fingers finally feel the thin line of the arrow. He takes it gently in two hands. Doesn’t quite force his fingers around it, as if a touch, merely a frequent stronger would tear it.
“Yeah!” He breathes out, “Yeah, I do!”
Y/n opens her mouth to speak once again, but a knock against the frame from the opposite side takes their attention away. Where the sunshine cast itself the clearest, stands another girl and a friend slightly behind. The girl’s hand on the lining, she looks behind her shoulder before back at Y/n.
“I saw your poster, I heard you can make people fall in love.” The girl takes her shoulder bag to her font and reaches for the pocket. Between folding of materials and crinkles of keys, the girl extends her arm with a bill.
“We want to try.”
As the limited day hours come on its last ones in winter, Eric and Y/n look at each other. The younger enthusiastically nods when her eyebrows fall into a state of trouble. Hesitantly, Y/n nods towards him and takes the place behind the desk and slides two pink notes across the surface.
“Of course!”
Winter reeks off the flooring and spreads up her skin. She holds her legs tighter against her body as each bill and silver coin touches the cold floor. With the last gray metal circle in place, she extends her back and scans the paper in thousand folds. Y/n bites her lip with her face down towards her lap, and her back still as a first impression when someone comes through the door.
Thin plastic bindings whisper in the hall. Juyeon takes off his shoes at the door frame, chin directed against Y/n’s back underneath the counter. His fingers don’t find the laces and he takes his eyes off for a second. Eric lies in bed, with his phone and Juyeon sighs quietly before letting the plastic bag up on the square table.
“Eric, you need to do your homework.” Juyeon tilts his head to get even a vague coloration.
“I’ll do it soon.” Eric answers.
To fold down the white synthetic filter, Juyeon looks down at Y/n again.
“Is something wrong?” He asks.
Y/n looks up with vast eyes that fall in usual size once again. She presses a smile between her lips and trails the line between the wood.
“I’m a little worried.” She says, though she quickly breathes again as his hands come off the bag.
“It’s not a lot though, the hostel is just getting more expensive. The money isn’t quite enough yet.” Y/n turns back to the three bills and two coins.
“You can stay here.” Eric’s voice comes from the other end. The two of them look at him, now fully extended over the covers. The sheets drape over his shoulders and legs while the blue light from the screen illuminates his face. She returns in direction and sees Juyeon looking at her with the identical vast eyes as her own. Y/n looks away, she realizes Eric’s complexion isn’t as daunting.
“Can’t she?”
“It’s okay I don’t-” Y/n answers, but Juyeon intervenes.
“No, you can stay.”
Y/n turns to him fully without words, stares at him as he looks away and scratches his neck. It’s still quiet when he remembers the plastic bag left on the table and starts to empty it.
“Are you sure?” Y/n hesitates. At first thought, she doesn’t want to intrude on the line she already feels like bordering. Contrary, she thinks going around the streets would be ruthless. Juyeon nods and she looks over towards Eric.
“You too?”
“Of course, Juyeon’s starting to get on my nerves either way.” He sighs and falls back onto the pillow. The tone itself was nearly bounding on a desire to become three in the house rather than specifically having her settle in.
“Hey?” Juyeon’s hands tangle themselves in the thin synthetic while he tries to get them out. His head leans dramatically to one side while Eric has let the pillows impose around him again.
“I understand that.” Y/n crosses her legs and leans back on her arms, “Don’t worry, Eric, I’ll keep you entertained.”
Juyeon holds a sort of offended expression as she laughs and Eric comes up the fabrics again.
“You’re a high schooler, you just hangout with friends either way.” Juyeon sulks.
“Doesn’t matter, Y/n’s cooler than you.”
“How?” He walks over to Eric’s bed, letting his arms hang low as he stands above the younger and his fringe fall upon.
“She’s literally a god, and you don’t even have a girlfriend.” He moves his hand.
Eric sees from beneath his figure how it forms a gap between Juyeon’s lip, but quickly disappears. As the older has learnt there is no pride left in fighting with the teenager, Juyeon shifts in direction and with the help of his socks, slide defeated against the floor, back to the plastic bag.
-
All three of them folded out two lonesome blankets scattered in the apartment. It lay on the carpet in the center of the two bed’s. Y/n sat down on the blankets to touch the pillow, but Juyeon insisted on her sleeping in his bed. It took some persuasion, but he smiles so sincerely and talks tenderly that no God could replicate. She accepted and sat on the bed edge. Eric gave her a worn down pajama set from years ago.
Juyeon’s eyes follow her figure, walking away as he stands with his hands awkwardly to the sides.
“The shirt is buttoned wrong.” Her vision from the bedroom, back to the kitchen. He stands still, takes one hand to his neck, scratches it gently before letting it fall down to his own shirt. His fingers draw outlines of details of her own and she looks down to see the overlap in fabric, each button forcing the other side higher.
“Oh.” Y/n frees the first button from the fabric, but it stays in between her fingertips as there is no place to secure it. Juyeon takes a cautious step forward. Where his feet land it makes no creaks and the fall off a button is the loudest thing in the room.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Y/n instantly comes to the floor and takes up the missing piece from Eric’s shirt. She looks up to him apologetically with the plastic piece hidden in her palm as she reaches her arm towards him.
“It’s okay.” He takes the button, then walks over to the kitchen counter. Y/n watches how he opens one of the pantries and takes out a transparent pouch with orange highlights.
“I’ll help you.” He smiles, identical as the sunset shine in winter. It casts cold over skin where there’s no button to cohere fabric. Y/n nods and they walk to his bed, sit by the edge. Y/n’s closest to the pillow end and watches how he opens the zipper to take up a thin needle and a roll of white thread. Juyeon sees her attentive eyes on his hands between the motions. The white thread comes through the metal end and he cuts it off with scissors. Juyeon holds his hands in between them, hesitantly reaching for the open fabric. He locks eyes with her again.
“Is it okay that I?” With no more than a timid hand motion, he asks. But Y/n understands. She smiles and straightens her posture, separating the front and hair with her hands. Juyeon smiles awkwardly with his lips pressed against each other and the opposite ends curl upwards. He takes the folded edge of the fabric delicately between two fingers and leans closer to her chest. When the sharp end filters the backside, his hand brushes against her skin. Juyeon holds his eyes on that spot on the shirt, but really, her warm breath drapes his head in summer mist.
After the button falls in a vertical line with the others, Juyeon lies the needle down. He looks at the two sides of the shirt, shriveled and folded in different heights. Y/n herself, once again looks down her front and follows the line, how the fabric separates from the other side. Halfway through, she buttons again, but Juyeon sees instantly how she’s one level too high.
“I…” His body still in the same place, to attentively listen to the folds in the sheets as to remind himself not to come closer. Juyeon takes his hands onto the end fabric. He coerces together to seal the shadows casted by moonlight onto her skin, their hands brush against each other. The distance between them is incredibly insignificant, in a way that lets her scent intertwine with his own and he hides his face by looking at the hemline.
His head right underneath her chin, his hair smells delicate, of morning in blooming spring. The top of his head reflects the moon and his faint breath damp on her skin.
“And it’s done-”
A sound in greater volume than anything else in the apartment erupts from the other side. Y/n stands up as Eric comes out from the bathroom, his silhouette darker from the warm light coming behind him. Juyeon’s hand diverts back to his own sides. His head slightly tilted up to continue to watch her face and make out the expression above.
Eric walks through the frame, it creaks slightly as he falls down the covers. Y/n looks again where Juyeon observes her with eyes, reminiscent of the cityscape playing outside. It shines across and paints the brown pupil in a cold color. She smiles slightly and takes another step.
“Thank you.” She says gently.
-
When shoes scratch against the hallmat and two voices he has recorded in a secluded part of his brain intertwines, Juyeon leans forward on toes to let a glimpse of their figures reach from the thin wall. He takes a step before the dividing part of the rooms and stares in silence over the rain consumed. Their hair lies slick against their heads and the thin surface of a droplet holds itself like tears underneath their eyes. Soon gathers a darker blemish by the hemline.
Juyeon immediately runs up to them and feels the water spread from the floor up to his socks. To let his hands immerse in cold rain across the coat arms as he forces them to the bathroom. Though, Y/n insists to wait until Eric’s done as the four walls impend onto them as they stand all three before the bathtub with the sink piercing against their backs.
Eric sees his reflection in the bathroom mirror, starts violently shake his hair to let off the residing water running down his head. The two others shouts, arms covering their faces to ensure any warmth left on their skins in the bathroom. Y/n let her vision through the passage created by the coat arms when Eric’s laugh parallel between the high ceiling. She feels his arms collide onto her own as he points at Juyeon. The water divided into pairs runs down his forehead, to after his lips. Fringe has fallen flat onto his eyes as the water weighs heavy and all collects at the neck of his shirt as a dark stain. Y/n too, starts to smile before falling into laughter together with Eric. Juyeon stands as if anchored to the bathroom mat pressing his lips in.
As some minutes in the room pass, they stand three in row with the last person out the hall. Y/n on the floor at the borderline where the bathroom goes to hall, she sits crisscrossed while Eric stands on knees behind her. The coarse fabric of the towel onto her head as Eric treats it like laundry. And at the top of the three stories stands Juyeon, still drenched, more than the others maybe, drying off the excess in Eric’s hair.
All has dried and the used towels together with the raincoats decorate the bathtub wall. Eric walks to the kitchen as Juyeon tells him there’s soup and Y/n even out the flooded ends of the clothing. Turn around to face the mirror and walk out the door, she stands with her feet in touch with Juyeon’s and the separation between their faces, so trivial that one might condense in another's arm.
At once, when her essence affects his own, he takes a step back and lifts his arms. There is no distance left and in an instant the cold sink hits his back and Juyeon lets out an ache. Y/n laughs silently and Juyeon turns from the floor up to her face that reeks of lucent perfection.
“You look like a wet cat.” She laughs gently before reaching down the tub wall. Beside her calf rests an additional towel which she takes and casts over Juyeon’s head.
Like the fringe of his, it ends just above his eyes and the pupils, infinite golden, look through the opening onto her. Juyeon slightly bends his head down and takes his shoulder closer to his own essence. He tries to hold his eyes open, onto her face that is so close for the first time in his life, but as she follows the wet trails, he closes his eyelids and convulses when she touches his skin down the neck. His head falls back and he whines slightly in which Y/n laughs.
“Stop being sensitive, Juyeon.” She teases and her arms come above his shoulder and around his head to reach the hair furthest down. Her upper body closes in on his and where the cold water has fallen and fabrics cling onto his skin, he feels warmth.
“Sorry…” Juyeon says weakly. The spotlights in the ceiling highlight the fragments of rose red around his cheeks. Her existence is so close to his own that he thinks they might merge. Somehow, he curiously opens his eyes to see her still damp hair, reminiscent of early spring. But has to close his eyes over and over.
Three days outside the window have been in constant motion and the three of them are still in that apartment. Though, for each day Y/n has walked with Eric to school, more students turn attention in the early morning as she walks up the stairs to the second floor. As the pink notes come down to the table surface faster and faster, she has this sensation in her stomach. It grows during silence and when Eric’s at class. It turns into vague whispers and overpowers the ventilation in the right upper corner. It has her out the window and searching for the sun, but at the same time, there’s something so fascinating in watching how the students hold onto their friends as they disappear down the stairs.
How lovely it is to come in so close contact with love, she thinks. Each sight has her desperately wishing for another and when she hits the arrows bow in two hearts, she runs to the other side to stand at the window front and watch how the world stops for only a second as they make eye contact for the first time.
Though, as Eric told her. Whispers between the hallways and notes passed between seats. A single motion that sets the butterfly wings in action, spreads winds around the school and she thinks there is only a lone push before someone other than a student comes up the stairs and sees her.
Y/n sits on the carpet in their apartment during friday afternoon. The warm lamp spreads its familiar light. She counts her bills and coins, and surely has started to build a small tower that goes beyond two centimeters over the flooring. Her palms lean to each side and impend above the paper and silver. She coerces it all to a pile where the bended edges are in opposite directions. As all the flat slides lie together in her hand and she takes the paper bag, she feels a weight on her own shoulder. A warmth only created by another existence in this season.
Y/n takes her sight up, onto the only enhanced in the lingering exhaustion of another turn around the world’s axis. At first impression of the scene beside her, she can only see his legs, like delicate lace in the orange light, but as chin touches his silk hair and the scent touches her face. Y/n sees the facial features from upon, the bridge of his nose in between the hair strands.
Juyeon suddenly perk up. To meet eyes from different directions and see the faint shine in the inner corner from opposite perspectives. Y/n doesn’t speak, but her eyes search his own deeply and when nothing in them seems to gift her question, they follow the shadowed lines down his face to his lips.
“I feel cold, Y/n.” The weight of his head becomes heavier.
“I’m not that warm either.” She says gently, still with her hands on the pile.
Whispers of the apartment and breathing from the alive city, details around them become louder. He finally sighs.
“I don’t know what to do…” His voice mirrors the weak body across her side. Juyeon’s eyes follow the dim corners where lamps can’t reach. Behind the table, against the paper thin wall to divide the bedroom, there is no outline of floor patterns or discolorations. The world sort of fades into that corner. Like the rest of the universe on a certain crossing, falls out of our sight.
Onto his empty chest where he thought nothing could ever reach again, a light pressure of palms to fingers, graze by the shirt before the whole palm encapsulates his sole heart. Juyeon slowly lets his eyes off the horizon at the end of the room and leans his head where her shoulder and neck ends. He watches how she scours his chest from above and feels her hand blur into the chest.
“Heartbreak.” She hums softly and lets her hand cease over his heart.
Juyeon still looks up, “You can feel it?”
Y/n nods and turns to his eyes. The paper between her left hand, she lets them down onto the floor and pushes the rest of them to the side. Her free hand takes his head delicately and his weight off her shoulder. Juyeon complies with her tenderness until his head settle between her lap. His heart, moon touched, and slowly her fingers come in between his hair and in gentle motions brushes.
To carefully not let his entire body weight on her physical bindings. Though, with that thought he still closes his eyes and feels the hemline of her midnight shirt brush against his cheek. The lids over his eyes open once again and he, in a careful state of trance, watches the slight knit between her eyebrows. His eyes, immense and illuminated, picks apart the features and tilts his head slightly, making the shirt come up her thigh.
“Is something wrong?” He asks suddenly. Y/n locks eyes with him. Strands fall like rosen vines beside his head.
Y/n turns back to his chest and stares in wonder over that spot underneath her hand.
“It’s still very painful…it’s recent?”
Juyeon lets the night echo along for a moment longer. Her hand in touch with the temperate fabric of his shirt, reaching for the deepest part of his own existence. It stays to be the most audible thing in the room. But somehow, there’s imminent, much greater weight bound between the ceiling and floor. He takes his eyes off her hand and falls back into the crater which her legs create.
“It was a month ago.” He speaks in a same volume as the detailed city spreading from all directions and encompasses them.
“She broke up with me, we had a lot of arguments. But we finally stood outside this apartment, and she told me that I don’t make her happy anymore.” Juyeon breathes in, “That there's no love left to give, its run dried.” His head falls to its side and her calf brushes against his cheek.
How even the pictures from June, where the stone plates hidden in shadow wished to feel like winter as they ran past the piercing sunlight between the green leaves, aches his heart. All the Earth layers pass through him until he ends up at the very last.
“Your heart hurts a lot, Juyeon.” She watches with knitted eyebrows, the invincible piercing feeling beneath her hand, spreads across her palm. She turns her eyes to him. The tension binding her features disappears slowly, cause; of his delicate expression, painted in care. Another passage of silence.
She whispers and tilts her head, “But you’ll be fine.”
“I will?” He says with a low voice and immense eyes.
Y/n closes her eyelids and opens them up again to take apart the faint layer of shine before the pupil. To lean in closer as to see the reflection grow clearer in the curvature.
“I can’t see why?” She tilts her head again before falling back into place, “But in the near future, your heart will heal.”
He’s quiet for a second, “Are you sure?”
Y/n nods and suddenly smiles. How the cold sensation of his sick heart falls into fragments when her fingers run through his strands.
“I’m the love Goddess afterall.”
The past days, the sun has done a heavy weather rotation around Earth in a perfect instant. Though, somewhere between night and day, the three of them realize it's time to evolve their business. Each dust accumulated over years in waiting has permanently varnished her clothes. The constant sequence of students that runs up the stairwell makes whispers in the hallways, rumors about the ‘woman in the abandoned classroom’ makes it out on student social media.
Any moment, a post on one of the internet cafes will rise to the top, Eric told her one evening. Y/n uncomfortably took the sheets higher up her shoulders then, but he told her one could fear the inevitable curiosity towards her, or profit off it. His idea was to force the service out of the dusty school and that all three stand on a meeting point beside the city river. Eric sat beside her in the bed and threw off the covers to stand up. She watched how he took the loose pieces of his nightshirt and elongated them like what she assumed was wings.
“And we’ll have costumes like real sellers do.” He said.
“Will that really work?” She asked him with a skeptical expression, in which Eric jumped back into the bed.
“Promise, back in first year of high school, we needed to sell cookies. My friend had a cookie monster costume on for two weeks straight while we told people to buy outside the mall.”
Y/n’s quiet.
“We sold the most of any in our class.”
That night, Y/n didn’t really tell Eric that as long as the moon shines on Earth, there will be a constant light upon her, trailing her steps along the asphalt. That she has during this time, become a traitor of the heaven’s and time.
But because that night passed too, the three of them stand in the metropolitan mall. A city where everyone lives or wishes to. In the vertical path down to the opposite end of the white structure, they are. Glass windows with electric doors down every path and five floors that hound above them. Despite an seemingly endless amount of space, the marble floor is nearly invincible when shoes run like tidal waves above it.
Y/n stands in trance with her head up to watch the banners come down on them from the highest floor. The golden light doesn’t cast itself like sunset as the artificial studio light leaves no corner hidden. But by a certain tilt of one's head, the heart of the light bulb, a shimmer closer to a star during night, reaches the pupil.
“I know a good store.” Eric says and takes one step forward, “It’s not expensive there either-”
Though Juyeon forces him to reverse as he reaches out his hand. Juyeon turns to see Y/n beside him, gaping at the high ceiling and he gently intertwines his other hand with hers.
“You have your phone on, Eric?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“My ringtone gives me panic attacks, should we go or not?”
“I-”
“We don’t have all day!” Eric takes the lead by stepping into the crowd. Juyeon comes quickly after and naturally forces Y/n to stop staring at mall decorations. Two different entrances later and a desire to desperately rip off every last layer of clothing, the three of them stand in the store cluster which Eric pointed at. The youngest insists deeply on a store with massive red signs across the windows, indicating an illegally low price, meanwhile Juyeon argues back that it’s smarter to get actual costumes from the party-hell-store next door.
Democracy isn’t on Eric’s side since Y/n stands with wide eyes, still with Juyeon’s hand in hers. Clearly she didn’t have much of an opinion as her answer when Eric tried to get her on his side was what the hell is a costume supposed to be? As Eric’s store windows had white tees and colored jeans, Juyeon pointed at a mannequin in hot dog costume.
“They just have stupid stuff there.” Eric complains as they walk into the party store.
“You don’t have to choose the hot dog costume.” Juyeon answers.
They reiterate the plan and pass the paper plates and party hats down the clothing aisle. Immediately, Juyeon walks to the corner and Y/n watches as Eric stops before her.
“I want to be a devil.” Eric takes up the rectangular plastic bag. Y/n leans over and sees the model in an awkwardly cut suit, pants with way too tight seams that ends above the ankles, and, the cherry on top, a dejecting pair of plastic vibrant red devil horns.
“No one goes to the devil for love advice.” Y/n complains and continues down the aisle. At the furthest end of the costume section, Juyeon stands between the plastic bags. He holds two different ones, the right one he lifts up so that the spotlight in the ceiling shines atrociously on it.
For every step she expects to see the awareness in his face as he looks to her side. But instead, he stands with a slight pout while still holding the plastic bag in front of his face. Y/n smiles as she’s a little less than a meter away. To lean on her toes to reach over, catch a glimpse of the front model.
“Is this how I’m supposed to look?” Y/n tilts her head as she looks at the woman on the front wrapping of the fabrics. Synthetic wings falling off the back with an even cheaper shine over the arrow and bow. The little white dress is dull, though short as the hem ends mid thigh.
“No, you’re prettier." His answer comes close at the end of her own sentence. His eyes aren’t on hers when he says it, he too looks at the model picture of the packaging. Y/n turns to look at him when his face is still in usual saturation and pout visible.
“Really?” Y/n tilts her head and can’t help but break into a smile. Juyeon looks up and views intertwine. That rose blush stains his skin once again and he scratches the back of his hair profusely. He takes a step back, laying his hands on her shoulders from behind. To turn her head to still watch him, he disappears from her sight and instead, feels a warm weight on her back. The waves of his voice perceive that spot beneath her hair when he speaks.
“Go and try it on.” His voice is in faint volume as he starts pushing her shoulders gently.
Y/n laughs, “Okay.”
At the left direction he prod her, reside three high rectangles in row. Y/n opens the one closest to her and walks in. After she forces the curtain to divide, she hears Juyeon’s voice outside, ensued by a familiar whine. Y/n smiles for herself when the metal rings at the edge hit against the railing as Juyeon tries to force Eric in.
At last, the velvet closes, and soon, the adjacent walls uncover. Juyeon stands a meter away, watches how Y/n lifts the fabric over her head and the hem takes some of her hair with it. Her feet stay serene, looking down her front while her fingers compress the chemical fibers.
“I think it’s too big.” She looks up at him. Arms fall to its sides together with the flat line dress. Juyeon’s lips form to speak, but precisely, it intersects with Eric who extracts the curtain and walks out. The shirt reaches down his wrists and radiates an agonizing white shade, the pants, in same shade, drape over his legs. Lastly, the tiny wings and plastic bow in his hand. The halo in his hair sits tilted, folded at the center, beaming in the store light over his displeasure.
Juyeon and Y/n are silent at the closing seconds of his entrance. But the visor alternate another minute and the two burst out laughing at the same time. Their silhouettes bend to the floor and cover their laughter with right hands. And if the knit between Eric’s eyebrows couldn’t get tighter, even his lips press harder.
“But you look really cute, Eric.” Y/n coos and walks to him. The side of her palm perceives the veil over his shoulder. He looks down towards her, causes the halo to shake and Y/n laughs again.
“I’m serious!” She takes the other hand, where she too has a bow, on his opposite shoulder. Eric lets the thin line on his lips loosen a little as Y/n assures him. Though he hears a giggle a meter away, shift to see Juyeon’s phone in their direction.
“Hey!” The younger runs over to Juyeon who lifts the phone to the ceiling. The little plastic halo above his head flutters as he stands on tip toes while reaching for the screen.
“No, it’s so good!” Juyeon still laughs and takes the phone behind his back. Eric is left with that same complexion of oddenment on his features as the two laughs.
“I think it looks good.” Juyeon says after. He points at the ill fitting dress on Y/n but acknowledges Eric got the right size. He says they should go to Eric’s store and get a better white dress.
“Aren’t you gonna dress up?” Eric throws at Juyeon.
“You should too.” Y/n complains and points at him with the bow, “We look like idiots, you need to look like one too.”
Juyeon glance the room and takes a step back, “But I didn't find any in my size.” He affirms with high arms.
“Bullshit, just be an ancient myth man.” Eric, deadpans.
“There’s no myth man costume.” Juyeon says confused.
“Then we make one.”
-
“Isn’t this one lovely?”
Juyeon looks up and sees Y/n between two racks of aisles. In her hands, a white baby blue dress that she puts against her front as if wearing it. The lace excess attached to the skirt and half length sleeves imitate her own twirls.
The coloration with his hands falls to the sides as she looks up towards him. Her eyes fixated on him after her question. Juyeon opens his mouth, but takes a breath and his free hands come up the back of his neck. Scratching lightly as he looks towards another aisle with transparent bags. Groups of young girls run past them and he shakes his head, therefore, the fringe comes before his eyes, making his pupils hide in between shadows of his strands.
“It’s really pretty.” He says shyly and smiles, takes a step closer and forces his chin up a bit higher, “You’re really pretty in it.”
Y/n takes her palm towards the stomach of the dress and looks down, “You’re honest?” She laughs.
The hand quickly falls off his skin and top the side of his thigh. The pink coloration saturated into his cheeks are still in full view, but his lips turn pressed and downward. Just as his eyes grow wider and he eagerly nods his head. The strands of his hair follow those precisions and he continues to speak while it falls further.
“You are.” He repeats in a clear tone which makes her laugh again.
“Okay, then, I believe you.”
-
Once the afternoon stood on its last hours, all three had found their costumes. Y/n in a white dress that accumulates at the writs where it tights into a ribbon before the remaining fabric folds out like a flower. It sat under the paper poster for the early spring collection. Juyeon got a shirt in a similar edition. The details on both sort of seamlessly intertwine. When taking a quick look in the passing window stores, the two seem to share sensibility. And then of course, Eric as a baby cupid.
Juyeon’s hair was in need of a change since the shirt alone couldn’t disclose the intentions behind. He suggested a lovely braid to form around his head, though, neither of the three knew how to braid. Because of that, they sat forty five additional minutes at the mall beside different baby strollers. Juyeon had searched up a braid tutorial, held it before his face, Beside him sat Y/n on her knees and constantly switched from looking at his hair and screen. The result was of partial essence from the original, and with a yellow bouquet they bought before walking, Juyeon looks rather like a flower boy at a wedding than fantastical character.
At the center of a meeting platform before the river, they stand in line. The yellow flowers together with the synthetic wings on their backs are taken by the wind. Youth in close knitted groups and couples walking hand in hand pass by the metal railing and the bridge connecting to the opposite side. All three have a box of their own and with a breath or two, they separate from the mit and walk over the frozen concrete paving in late afternoon.
As the unknown always has people afraid, not many notes land in the bottom of their boxes. But as the sun comes down the sky and closes in on the rooftops, people their age become intrigued by the enchantment and put their name together with a bill. As such, pictures of plastic wings spread around corners of the internet with rumors about the magic.
-
As the person before her walks to the left, Y/n waves gently as their figure becomes another someone in the crowd. With no close frame in sight, the sun that edges on the horizon, spreads its pink coloration above her vision. Her hand holds the box as a wind comes from the right direction of the city and intertwines itself into her hair. The white fabric of the sheer skirt touches against her skin and the plastic wings lean towards the bridge. And as if the wind became gifted, to affect the significance, a clear pathway towards the edge of the river opens up.
How both the start and end of a bridge captures in a total frame. The dividing sides of the city in opposite parts of her rectangular vision. Y/n takes a breath and lets the setting sun in final clear sky complete the hues on her face.
When her eyes arrange the disposition and total focus settles onto a silhouette. Y/n’s grip around the box falters and the incoming wind might take the rest of her essence with it this time. The cheap chiffon fabrics wrapped around his body shines of white, just as his close orbit. Though the pigment, only parts of his features stand in highlight as the rest in shadow from the rosy hue above.
Y/n moves her head suddenly, forcing the loose strands before her eyes to fall towards the side profile. Slowly she takes a step down the clear path, follows the lines in between frozen cracks to where he leans over the railing. Juyeon has his eyes set on a vague point on the horizon. When she, too, stands beside him, she follows the imaginative line of his pupil and fails to make out the disoriented city lines.
Y/n turns to him, “I haven’t asked you yet.”
Juyeon turns to her with vast eyes.
“If you want to write a name.” She holds the pink cardboard box out for him. Her hand shortens distance, but there is still a void to be completed. He stands silent. Let each passing conversation fill that space up until it becomes vague from another direction. The motions in the river, it comes up against the stone they stand on before changing tide. Juyeon looks at Y/n and smiles like he always does as he shakes his head gently.
She tilts her head. Curiously wander to the pupil of his eye and search for entrance into his mind, but there’s nothing to open. With his aching heart underneath his throat, Y/n expected a certain answer from him, an answer most humans would give. She smiles as wonder entrances her mind when thinking about his own.
“Okay.” Y/n answers in her usual tone. Take the box back to her own side and like Juyeon, let a part of her weight lean against the metal railing.
A couple walks them by, hand in hand towards the other bridge in far sight. Juyeon follows them until the color of their shirts fades in between the others. His eyes fall back on Y/n’s frame. Her profile towards the reflection in the water and he contemplates in silence before asking.
“What happens to all the names people write down?”
Y/n faces him as the question spreads into all directions over the river surface, and when it maybe reaches the opposite end, Y/n stops to tilt her head.
“They fall in love…or what do you mean?” She knits her eyebrows.
Juyeon shakes his head and smiles. Watch the scenery behind him where the buildings soar above the open platform and lovers walk hand in hand. Eric sits on a bench, further away, with a stranger probably his own age by the parallel complexion.
“Do they just fall in love forever or…” to attentively consider details of expressions and body language, his own skin brushes against the cold railing.
“No, they don’t” Y/n shakes her head.
“Most will probably fall out of love in a week or so…” The curves of her lips have become amicable, he remarks, when Y/n looks at him.
“Maybe one or two couples go on for some months.”
Juyeon tilts his head, arm over the railing and the weight of his body advances onto it. The flicker between the colors of his eyes reaches for another one, just like it. But at the edge of finding it, she turns her chin down where waves return from the stone, and another wind pulls fabrication before their sight.
“Why?” He asks curiously.
Y/n purses her lips in. Her essence stands on physical space but the fragments of thoughts, collecting her being, solely wanders somewhere else.
“I don’t know why.” The tone is disheartening, “I wish I knew too.”
“You don’t?” he says surprised, “You’re the love God.”
“Yeah,” She smiles, “but I’m not good at being one.”
“Is that’s why you’re here?” He asks gently after silence.
Y/n’s quiet and completely still for a moment before nodding without giving him a glance.
“People are getting heartbroken all the time and aren’t finding love, and I can’t figure out why.” She pauses, “Mother’s angry at me.” Y/n lets her chin fall onto the railing and she leans over the cold metal and watches the sun go behind the horizon.
“I don’t want to live like that, especially since I can’t even do the only thing I was created for.”
Another silent passage in time, she speaks again.
“And your breakup last month was probably also because of me.” She looks at him with a smile but eyes of starshine, on the edge of its own death, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is.”
“There’s eight billion people, that’s a lot to put on one person.”
She looks at him, still leaning on the railing.
“I mean, one being.” He corrects.
Y/n smiles again in which he too does.
“You know, for humans you’re never perfect at first try.” He looks out over the river, “For all the professionals, more than talent, they train over and over again.” She looks at him and he stutters while scratching his neck.
“What I’m trying to say is,” He squints, “Practice makes perfect, you’ve never experienced human life until now, of course it’s confusing.” He pauses and takes a step closer. The view of him comes higher up.
“If you want, I can help you.” Another wind passes, while the same rose color against the sky transmits over to his cheeks.
“Teach you what human love is like,” When she still isn’t speaking he takes a irregular breath, “I’ve had two girlfriends before, a lot of dates, I’m very experienced so you don’t have to-”
“Okay, I want you to teach me.” Y/n laughs. He closes his mouth once he realizes the diffuse pace of wording. Though, smiles as her clothes strive free with the next breeze. Juyeon’s relieved as Y/n has visibly fallen interested in a shape at the other end. Only in need of his voice to affirm the color, not his red stained warm cheeks.
To a change of a digit by the “Sunday '' written on the phone. Y/n opens her eyes to see morning filtrate through the curtains. Her hands come behind her posture to force herself off the layers of cloth. At Eric’s bed at the other end of the same corner, he lies spread out in total absence. His face is buried within the pillow and his right leg has fallen off the bed and touches the floor.
Without any sort of considerable intentions, Y/n looks down beside the bed. The thin mattress is still out with an imprint among the creases of the sheet. Despite being devoid of any life, a trail of essence aviates above it. The disarray of plates stacking comes from the open kitchen. Y/n looks towards the window and sees Juyeon roaming through the shelves.
She herself lets the covers come off her body and accumulate beneath the pillows. With each one of her steps, a creak course through the flooring. With the ceasing distance in intervention, Juyeon feels the faint change on the spot he stands on when her presence comes closer. He looks away from the shelf and sees Y/n, her right hand is up before her eye and he smiles like he always does to her.
“Good morning, Y/n.”
“Good morning,” She answers in a quiet tone.
“Did you sleep well, Angel?” He asks while he lets his head fall down to the counter as he groups in spoons and chopsticks. Y/n blinks a few times and stares at his side profile as he opens the cabinet beneath.
“Angel?” She tilts her head and Juyeon looks back at her.
“Yeah, Angel?”“I always used Love, but I think you fit Angel better.”
“Oh, okay.” She tilts her head still and squints her eyes at his frame. He seems to detail that there’s something still left to be said, so he looks back at her again.
“Am I supposed to call you something too or?”
She asks him with genuine perplexity and he remembers again, that she’s not human. He smiles. How magical, he thinks, that someone that bears on enchantment and bliss to change his state of life in seconds, stands before him. Juyeon has never really believed in gods, even now he isn’t particularly drawn to religion, but Y/n in her otherworldly enchantment but relatable demeanor seems to come beyond any sort of devotion.
“Only if you want. It’s called pet names, it's common between couples.”
Her eyes widen, “People see each other as pets? Like those dogs they’re out walking?” Y/n gestures with her hand onto the floor. The new information is rather unsettling, how much of the human love she didn’t understand, she thinks.
Juyeon laughs and comes closer to her, “No.” He takes his hands onto her shoulders while her eyes are still appalled.
“Or some couple out there probably. "But not most.”
“Why pet names?”
He thinks, “I don’t know, it’s cute? Pets are cute, so you’re cute.”
“Okay.” Y/n seem to only half accept his explanation.
“Can I still just call you Juyeon?” She asks.
“You can,” He pouts, “Though, no one has ever given me a pet name.”
She smiles, “No one?”
“I always ask them to give me one, but they don’t.” He sulks.
“I like your name, it’s pretty. I think it fits you.”
The picture before her, as she’s still in his hands. The sprout from which his hair blossoms, faces her, but in the ending sequence of her sentence, his face comes up in height with hers. The sulk, seized by the floor. He smiles again in which she tilts her head.
“You’re really simple, Juyeon.” She laughs and takes a step back. By the nature of the motion, his hands fall off her shoulders. Juyeon stands in vertical posture once again and concentrates on the ends of his lips, so as to not pout again.
“I’m not.” He says quietly. Before he turns his head back to the counter, though, Y/n catches the remote sulk formed underneath his nose.
Sometimes through the hits against the counter surface and pans, they hear Eric turn sideways and wrap his body in another round of fabrics. She looks from the cutting board to the beds and Juyeon notices. He tells her that there is no use in low volume, that the entire building could start shaking and his consciousness would not move an inch closer to its physical state.
As he stands beside her and goes between the stove and cutting board to show her how to cut the vegetables. The broth in the pot simmers, damp heat comes up in his face and spreads onto the metal spoon as he brings it down. Juyeon tastes the broth first before taking it down a second time. He holds his free hand underneath the spoon and turns to Y/n’s. Her hair has fallen before that side of her face. Only when those strands come to the back of her ear, she looks away from the white plastic and towards Juyeon.
Being conditioned to fall back, Y/n leans away from his close hands. Sees a single steam grow like rosen stems during spring, Juyeon comes closer to the spoon and blows on it. Y/n’s eyes are small when they intertwine with his own.
“Try it.” He says in his sweet voice.
“Can’t I just…” The free hand on her other side hesitantly reaches for the spoon.
“I’ll feed you.”
Her face turns to the left as if to gesture him a no, but when he looks at her with those pearl glance eyes. Y/n sighs and leans forward. His hand comes under her chin and he helps her by tilting the spoon a little. Y/n’s own hand comes up to Juyeon’s who holds it before she returns to her own place.
“It’s good.”
-
Eric left the cramped apartment soon after eating. The sun’s out the entirety of the weekend and his friends had sent messages all night to meet on Sunday. Y/n went to bed again after eating, lying on the outer side and with the sheets at the very end of the bed. She stares up at the ceiling, watches hidden shadows in patterns. Though, steps on the floor cross onto the carpet and soon after, she feels the weight on the mattress shift. Y/n turns to look at the change, and when her cheek falls into the pillow, Juyeon’s eyes are there to meet.
Y/n sits up and takes one of her legs off the height, but Juyeon takes her arm.
“Where are you going?”
“I thought you wanted to lie here?”
“No, I wanted to be here because you were.”
“Why?”
“It’s comfortable.” He smiles, “Couples do it all the time.”
“Are you serious, or are you just using that as an excuse because I let you teach me about human romance?” She squints his eyes at him, in which Juyeon forces his head from the mattress and reaches his hand out for her upper arm. He shakes his head while laughing quietly, reiterating that he speaks truth. Y/n can’t keep the stale expression when he smiles so deeply and the pillow pushes his hair closer to his face. Eventually she lets his arm pull her down fully again.
“Do people just lie like this?” Her hands rests over her stomach where the ruffles of the shirt accumulate. A tilt of her head in a direction closer to his existence, but nowhere in full sight does she get a glimpse of even a hair strand, just the ceiling in sunlight from the curtains.
“Sometimes.” Juyeon answers. He turns his head fully and so does Y/n. Their chin rests on the light blue stripes, folded where the weight are.
“Sometimes it’s very comforting doing nothing with the one you love.”
“Why?”
Juyeon takes his hands in between the pillow and his chin, “Love needs no words.” His voice is gentle, passing her ears like the faint brush of the new washed sheets against her upper calf. A vague nod comes from her side as they still look at each other.
Juyeon suddenly breathes a little stronger, “But other times we do this.”
Y/n doesn’t get to high her eyebrows or part her lips. The hands underneath his chin forces his weight off the pillow and Y/n feels him lean towards her side. He sits up fully and in the same duration from her eyelid closing and opening, Juyeon has taken his hands down her arms and neck, fervently tickling her.
The expression of confusion painted by her features turns to a desperate smile as she tries to escape his attack. To kick her leg onto the sheets beneath her and shout Juyeon’s name as his laugh becomes louder for every centimeter the fabric falls down the bed. To not let her escape, Juyeon unconsciously sets his knee on the other side of her body. Her figure stays in between his own frame as she falls deeper down the pillow.
“Juyeon, stop, I’m serious!” Y/n laughs in panic.
Eventually his hands come to rest beside her upper arms and the laughter turns to heavy breathing. Juyeon faces from above, still smiling, as Y/n lies with the side of her face against the pillow. That until she stares at him, while fully hidden between his own complexion. Each of her breaths comes to him like the green leaves during spring. Just as the incident, the rose color of flowers in small sprouts bloom on the side of his face. Y/n looks down from his eyes, just one centimeter in distance to see the saturation. She smiles again.
“You’re always so red, Juyeon.”
Juyeon takes his head further against his chest to hide it, but there is no use. She laughs lightly as his hair falls before his eyes and he is forced to shake his head when he comes back up. They look in silence at each other's features. Mere sunlight comes in between the thin curtains and cats itself over the shadows. Dust from the sheets cease between the space and Juyeon leans in a bit closer. The shine in her pupil comes all the higher in her coloration as his lips are above hers.
“I’m sorry.” He speaks gently.
Y/n laughs again and shakes her head. Seconds cruelly pass them where they lay enchanted in white-blue sheets. The sounds of folding fabric beside her ears, without visual frame she imagines a butterfly at the breaking of dusk, to spread its wings before full sun. But truly, it’s purely, without decorations, Juyeon’s hands beside her body that flutter at the closing distance between them.
He who always leaves a space in between, Juyeon lets his head fall closer to hers. The pace is incredibly cruel, but so sympathetical, as he stops where they can see each other’s flaws and their breath dampens the other's lips. Time stands so pianfully still when he waits for Y/n to say or do anything. He looks into her eyes, searches for something, but she tries to use the parted distance between her lips but nothing comes out.
There’s a sort of apprehension somewhere between all of her physical essence. But it dies with every second. In the dilemma playing faintly before her eyes, in the background she sees Juyeon’s eyes come further away from hers. The sensation of guilt and fear were on the verge of death, and fall flat line in an instant. As to desperately not make him disappear, Y/n takes her hands up from her sides. Juyeon gasps quietly when gently holding his face.
And at last, when she takes him back to her, Juyeon lets his weight on his hands shift to his right knee as their lips collide. Y/n falls a centimeter further into the stripes of the pillow case. It creases at the edges. The pattern changes in structure when Juyeon brings his knee up a bit further. In a boundless room devoid of sounds, the kiss lingers between the four walls.
As Juyeon gently takes his tongue out for hers, Y/n trace the lines of his features up to his hair. Their mouths are just a little open when she intertwines her hand through his strands. The tips of his fingers scratch against the surface. Through the slight space in between their lips, Juyeon whines. It trails through her clothing and hearten her hand to force the strands tighter around her skin to hear him again.
And as they encourage the other to fall in closer, the room that had been detached from space and time comes back. The door echoes through the apartment and folds of clothing come after. Before any footsteps close into the kitchen, Y/n’s hands fall back to the mattress and Juyeon throws himself off his arms and lands on his previous place. When Eric comes into the kitchen and lets his eyes span over the details he sees everyday, he stops at their bed. Arms completely down their sides and face up against the ceiling. Eric knits his eyebrows.
“Are you trying to teach Y/n magic tricks?” Eric asks.
Juyeon lifts his head from the pillow to look at him.
“Don’t even try, she’s literally immortal.” Eric goes to the sink and takes a cup.
“I didn’t even-” Juyeon defends.
“I’m not immortal?” Y/n cuts Juyeon off by lifting up her head in the same manner to look at Eric. He’s already on his second glass of water.
“You know what I mean, mythical creature and the unfunniest person alive.” Eric smiles.
“I think I’m funny.” Juyeon defends and turns his head to look at Y/n.
“I’m funny?”
Y/n laughs a little as he looks at her with vast eyes, “When you try not to; yes.”
He pouts and turns the other way, in which Y/n laughs fully. To turn her own silhouette and let her free hand reach out for his shoulder.
-
Y/n takes her legs off the mattress. It creaks when she stands fully on the carpet and it faintly lingers when she walks out the kitchen and further down the hallway. Juyeon, who lies beside her, compels to feet and without any obligatory commands, starts walking after. Y/n looks behind her once to see him trail the invincible steps along her. She takes the bathroom handle and looks at him again. He stands close to the opposite wall, right eye wearied. And the scene, in static vision for another passage, until Y/n tilts her head and asks him;
“Are you coming with me in or?”
Even with a question fully spoken in between the takes, Juyeon looks at her with the expression he always has. But like February into March in reversion, his eyes widen and he takes a step back. Juyeon says something Y/n can’t decide if it were comprehensible words. When in no trance, he disappears from the hall, out the kitchen and back onto the bed. She knits her eyebrows while staring at the serene flooring before she closes the bathroom door.
Eric sits in his bed with his phone, but tears his eyes off the screen when Juyeon comes back after only a minute. The older pays no intention of looking to the side and Eric sees him shaking his head before falling onto the mattress. The short video clip on his phone rewinds again as he smiles for himself.
“I never knew you would be such an attention seeker when your girlfriend left.” Eric looks towards Juyeon. He has his arms crossed over his chest while in his own corner of the world.
“I’m not.” Juyeon protests.
Eric snorts which makes Juyeon look at him, “Yeah, and I’m Jacob Elordi.”
The younger scrolls to the next short clip before talking again, “Come on, you can’t even be two meters away from her. I see how your arm twitches of starvation from her just being in the bathroom.”
Juyeon takes his hands from his chest, letting them spread out before the background, “They’re not at all.”
He takes the phone in his other hand, rises so that the sheets fall off his upper body. Eric lifts the pillow higher before he falls down to feathers again and watches the blue light radiate off his screen.
“Either way, I support your future marriage with Y/n, I could even be the flower boy.”
“We’re-I-” He stutters and looks at Eric who snickers at the screen, “I just think she’s nice.”
Eric refrains from throwing more comments across the room. Instead continues to mindlessly consume the massive subtitles on screen. Soon after when the bathroom door opens, the audio from Eric’s phone has rewinded across twenty times and Juyeon walks up to his edge. Eric lies with eyes closed and lips slightly apart while his hand with the device hangs off the bed. Juyeon pushes the turn off button and it becomes quiet in the apartment.
As Y/n walks across the kitchen area, Juyeon straightens his posture. A sudden burn comes between his throat as he looks down. The fingers of his right hand touch the spot that grows with itch. The sensation makes him want to further reach his hand through the skin and scratch what bothers. He coughs when Y/n comes to the line crossing the kitchen and bedroom.
“You’re okay, Juyeon?”
Juyeon turns from the corner where Eric lies and sees Y/n with her head tilted. He coughs again before facing her fully.
“Yeah, I must catched a cold or something.” He reassures.
That afternoon, evening boundary, pink encloses orange in softly curved patterns. How the sunset at the very peak of its livelihood, soon will bleach from the celestial and leave nothing but those stars holding hands in constellations to remind us that it was there. And as it shines over the edge of the river, hangs lowly over the open square, Y/n walks over to Eric sitting alone on one of the seats at the center of the open space. A passing wind intertwines like ribbons through their hair, braid them in irregular patterns before letting go. Eric feels the essence of another identity under the collapsing sun enter his field.
He looks beside his left shoulder and sees Y/n smiling, though, it might just be the sunset, but there’s a whimsical bearing to her expression in plastic wings.
“I realized you haven’t written a name.” He turns focus from her eyes down to the pink box as she holds it close to him.
“You don’t have anyone you like?” She asks.
Eric’s quiet for a second, but ultimately shakes his head. Her silhouette stands in contrast to the setting sun. Each shine streak runs into the river and reflects like a horizontal mirror. The outline of her shoulders divides the flicker, causing him to squint. Y/n herself let the box fall onto her thighs. When another wind comes, a short lived reflection on his hair passes by. Cupid tilts her head and observes his features. A visible lack of emotion and eyes on a dead tree. Another group of people walk down the river and Y/n smiles again.
“Seems like it.” She says.
Eric suddenly asks, “Can you write down someone else’s name? Two people you want to be together?”
She looks at the box then back at him, “Usually no, but I’ve already interfered in enough lives.” Y/n takes up the pen and pink paper, “Try.”
Eric takes the pastel note and presses the synthetic end on his palm. When he gifts it to her, he sees her smile grow wider as she reads it. Eric’s lips too, like a wildflower during the incoming flourish season, grow as she laughs a little. On the piece of paper stands two names, Y/n and Lee Juyeon. She let it descend down the thin opening of the box. While still looking down at the space created by cardboard, she speaks.
“That won’t work, though.” Y/n speaks gently.
Eric tilts his head suddenly, keeping his hands at the edge of the bench.
“Why?”
“I’m not human, right?” She still smiles, but Eric’s has withered.
“I don’t understand, gods and humans can’t be together?”
Y/n shakes her head, “No” She shifts in her place, “It’s just, the rules don't work as they normally do, it might end up bad.”
“Like what?”
“Just bad, not fun…it’s not important.” Y/n takes her hand before her face, standing up and locks eyes.
“Juyeon will be fine.”
For days closest to present, that itch at the very bottom of his throat has become stronger. Each night he touches the spot where it hurts the most, and his fingers trails higher for every night. The other day Juyeon surrendered and went to the pharmacy. He took coughing medicine, but at last he stands before the hand sink, throwing lilac flower petals. The first time, he stood perplexed and backed away until his calf hit the tub.
At the same time, he thinks about what Eric said to him, that day of the kiss. While the hours pass them by he always finds himself having music on or cleaning dishes, searching for job applications. Cause, when neither of them are with him, and there is little to no sound to surround him, those scenes play before him.
It was night and he turned to the other side of the floor. He searched coughing flower petals. In immediate blue links, informative paragraphs describe the cases of physical effects of a yearning heart. The pictures showed strangers with flowers in shades scattered over white sinks. His heart picked up pace before he shut off his phone and forced his eyes closed. He has the love goddess beside him to lead him, but it only aches to think that he stands alone at the edge of the bridge, longing for the other end when it doesn’t reciprocate. At midnight, he’s forced to accept his heart's admiration for Y/n. He refuses to let the knife remove the love out of his body, instead, begs in moonlight for fate to spare them.
-
There’s a gentle touch over his head. It reverses before it comes back. A sharp point between his hair strands and further down where his neck starts. As his eyes are still closed and mind in a different dimension, he doesn’t register how he slowly starts to lean towards the touch every time it disappears. Eventually, the moonlight cast at the other wall becomes apparent and he sees Eric’s silhouette beneath it. It shines of city lights in the furthest window above the kitchen.
Behind him, he hears soft creases of fabric lines. It comes from the material in his own bed, but his arms are at the front side. There’s a faint opening between his eyelids and he feels the touch linger down his cheek until it trails to his chin. It tickles when it gently outlines his nose. Once Juyeon opens his eyes fully, he tries to look up. On that side of him, a startled motion comes between the soft folds and the warmth on his face stills.
All shadows leisurely adjust and he makes out the room. But in that space, left of his mattress and frame of carpet sits Y/n. He recognizes her features in turned axis shimmer and traces her upper arm down to her hand on his face. She still caresses his cheek when they look at each other. When Juyeon takes his hands to either side and forces himself up, the fabric sounds violent as a shadow covers the cast on the wall. He watches how she quickly makes her way out the kitchen.
He can’t describe why, when his mind is half asleep and his body cold of the thin fabrics. Though, he does fully take off from the mattress and follows her. He sees her figure disappear through the bathroom door and when she stands to see her reflection in the mirror, Juyeon leans his hand on the edge of the door. Y/n looks at him when he walks in. There’s a meter in between them, and she tries to keep the same distance as he closes the door gently and walks forward.
At some point, her back hits the cold wall and Juyeon, with some space still separating them, reaches for her left hand off her side. Y/n’s quiet when he brings it to the blossom of his head. He leans down so that she subtly makes out the shadows beneath his fringe. Juyeon gently ushers her hand to mirror those motions from a minute ago. Where the whole cityscape stands in silence, the clearest thing spoken through the barrier is the sigh of relief Juyeon does when her hand reaches his neck.
He lets his knee rest where the divide forms between her own. How his soft breaths affect her own person. Cause eventually Juyeon separates his hand from hers as she on her own starts to touch his hair. For each caress along the silk, her palm continues deeper onto his neck. At last, her fingers reach where the collar of his shirt starts. To be touched even faintly in a place unaffected for so long, he whines. His head that faces the floor lands underneath her chin. The cheap shampoo reaches her nose and his breath dampens the spot above her collar.
The ends of his hair scratches against her skin and, by consequence, her other hand comes to the center where his shoulder and neck meet.
With the door closed, there’s no light source from any of the quiet corners. But for each breath they both take, he becomes all clearer. His face is buried underneath her while his body leans as close. The contrast of the painfully cold wall and the heat spreading from his essence. It’s so deeply attractive in her eyes, how he folds when she reaches her fingers a step further down his shirt. The quiet whimpers get muted in her neck. She desperately wants to hear it again, the hand from his shoulder and outlines his neck up to his chin where she lets her thumb caress the skin before coming back down to the shoulder.
“Y/n, fuck.” He moans cruelly onto her skin. It creates some free room between her hand and his shoulder when he falls down to his knees. The warmth that has accumulated above her chest, turns instant cold when there is no barrier before the grading temperature.
Her eyes naturally follow his own which are locked on the edge of her sleeping wear. Where the muted pattern convulse into each other and a harsh line before her own skin. Juyeon timidly takes his fingers onto that edge. All warmth in his body rushes to the inner parts, there is nothing but cold on his fingertips when they for a moment touch beneath her stomach. Juyeon looks up, the color in his eyes comes through the fringe and his hand flexes when holding onto her sleeping wear.
“I want to-can I?” He stutters profusely while looking into her eyes. It’s not enough light for the pigment on his upper face to reflect back into Y/n’s own vision. He looks away and faces the wall of the bathtub.
Y/n’s own chest has started to pick up pace while a limited gap between her lips forms to afford it. The lid on her eyes closes and opens profusely as he refuses to state the expression on his face. The inpatient motions with the urge to not look at her, she desperately wants him to say it when her mind runs to try to comprehend it.
“Sorry, Juyeon, I really don’t understand.”
Her hand still in laces with his own essence starts to gently advance across the back of his head again. He sighs when she reaches a sensitive spot down his neck and brings his head back. It affects her mind deeply so that her own physical state falls on the wall behind her and shifts her right leg.
“Please, I want to make you feel good.” He holds his head high to maintain the contact. The fabric of her shorts comes tighter around her waist when he pulls it again.
“I want to lick your…” He whispers to her, in a volume equal to the sounds coming from her hands in his hair. Y/n nearly reaches down to mute his words, but the desire to shift her leg again blinds those thoughts and she nods.
“I want you too, Juyeon.”
Her words seem to have freed the chain off him and gently lets the two layers of fabric touch her thighs down to her calves. Juyeon takes his own hand up her waist and the other around her left leg. To carefully, as if made out of velvet he forces her up onto his shoulder. Y/n tears her eyes away from him and falls head against the cold hard wall when goes in between her thighs. The soft changes in direction from his tongue and the careful advances as he watches her reactions from below.
The hand on his hair becomes tighter when the sensation goes inside her two walls for even a second. There’s constant shame as she lets him completely mend the soar spots with a part of his existence. She can’t tell if Juyeon feels it too, but to never let her eyes be open for more than a second, because when her head falls onto the wall and her eyes stare up the ceiling. An invisible but cruel rain falls onto her from above, a circle of faces from her youth watches how one of their own crumbles before a human.
“Juyeon.”
She strokes his head once again and Juyeon closes his own eyes. Y/n has been forcing her lips shut of fear to hear her own sounds echo in between the walls. But at last, when he grips onto her calf a bit stronger and the end of his hair brushes up against her thighs, a cry of pure bliss comes between her lips while her hips move forward. Juyeon continues with his lips to let the sensation gently fade.
Y/n breathes heavily while still leaning onto the wall. Juyeon comes up from the floor and lies one hand on her shoulder. With eyes closed, reminiscent of weekend morning when her own self is far from the body, lovely gathered in his worn down sheets. How Juyeon solely comes closer to make the pixels of her features clearer and discover the secret appearance, one who is only this close can make out.
Y/n finally opens her eyes and there is barely a distance between them. Juyeon has let go of the space and has his entire front against her own. There’s a firmer impression in contrast to the rest of his body. It pushes onto her lower stomach in timid motions. Her arms embrace herself as she smiles and laughs suddenly.
Juyeon lets out an embarrassed laugh and forces his head under her chin again. A faint ‘no’ escapes, barely audible, which causes her own eyes to look over the line in which his hair grows. And she forces him from her chest just a little. His sight is still in lock with the floor and Y/n laughs again.
“I’ll do it now.”
As she takes his hand, directs to the bathtub and pushes him gently down the cold material. Whatever’s left of the world becomes merely a singular. When the last lights of the cityscape passes through the visual horizon at the end of the universe, Y/n lets herself on top of him fully and takes her hands onto his face while staring in deep adoration with no sense of responsibility.
Truly she feels her heart pick up a pace she never thought was possible when creating friction onto them both with easy advances of her hips, and the back of his head falls against the edge. With no other light visible, a single star burns off in the upper left corner when he opens his right eye to look at her.
Juyeon feels the fabric enclose him painfully underneath her and he moans desperately. To force himself up from the edge, he holds his hands on the sides of the tub and comes precisely under her own lips. Y/n continues to fall back in motion while Juyeon tilts his head up to take her lips. Tension tears off like two desperate sides of a rubber band and Juyeon takes his hands on her hips. To take his knee up higher to force her chest closer to his own.
Behind the door, there's nowhere to go, he wishes for them to continue being in this place, this emotion.
Juyeon trails hands up to her waist. To get on his knees and gently make her come in contact with the white tub. Her hair spreads out the sides of the curvature and his mouth comes agape when he watches her eyes, in what he hopes is at least brief adoration.
Once again he puts his hips into her own. Timidly pushes against her through all the layers of fabric and breathes out. Y/n lifts her own leg up to make room for the climbing friction between them. Juyeon sighs and lets his head fall down, in which Y/n takes her hands through his hair and moans.
She can see his expression, and he looks as divine as he sounds. She soothes the side of his head and tilts her head before whispering.
“Juyeon?”
He moans again and pushes his hips harder into hers.
“My name sounds lovely when you say it.” He pauses to breathe again, “Please say my name again?”
Y/n swallows and the pupil of her eye comes in between him, the friction soon the wall behind them. So quietly but still enough so he can hear how she calls his name again.
“Juyeon…”
A pleasure hits him through his spine and he moans again while holding onto nothing with his other arm. The constant humping makes her not glide down the bathtub and when he carelessly starts pushing his hips against her, at a pace faster than before. Y/n takes her hand from her side and forces it into the small space between them. He throws his head back when the layers of fabric come tightly against him. In nearly instant, Juyeon fucks his hips into the cloth in her palm.
Y/n doesn’t take her eyes off as she’s determined to see him fall down and rests on her chest.
“Y/n…”
She answers in melody.
“I need to see you come, all undone for me.”
As the shorts and underwear lie serene on the carpet beside them, her head falls to the edge. Her hand comes to his face and he takes the hem of his pants off as he misses her. Though it aches with impatience, Juyeon’s eyes shimmer in hands, cupped by Y/n. Every motion he does in pleasure, as if handcrafted. It sores from watching him wither above. Y/n nods again, whispers to please see him wilt in cause of her.
He fills her completely when they come as close as possible. The first thrusts are painfully slow as he edges on relief but desperately wants to feel her warmth. Y/n urges him to fasten the pace as she falls down the wall. He holds his eyes on Y/n like she will save him as he thrusts harder.
“Please, Y/n, you look so beautiful.” His legs twitch, “I need to see you…”
His words falter as she cries out for a second time. He slows down in pace, staying amidst the warmth as the high washes over her. On precise edge, Y/n takes her hand onto the material and forces herself off him. Though the pleasure still affects her, she reaches her hand out where it hurts the most. She strokes him just merely. Juyeon’s eyes are closed and he cries from pleasure and wet stains her skin. The sight of him desperately saying her name and convulse in pure bliss might live on for an eternity. He continues with slow motions in her hand, moving the stains up the rest of her hand before the wave falters.
Juyeon gently descends his head beside hers. The right arm out of the pushing under his weight and he lies it underneath her head. The two of them close their eyes while listening to their breath echo throughout the bathroom.
Though, as the world comes back into place and Y/n opens her eyes to see the ceiling, she thinks about the windows outside. It goes chills through her essence when she looks at a the ventilator. Juyeon’s breathe are soft on the side of her face and she still console his hair. She desperately wants to lie beside him for as long as time lets them. Turn her face to see his blissful features look back at her own.
But for every second, reality moves closer. How her escape from above might put him once again in pain. The scene from when Eric put their names on his note comes back to her in a form of a distant but cold wave.
Fate doesn’t have them, she thinks before sitting up. The change in atmosphere comes suddenly to Juyeon who lifts his upper body when she climbs out the tub, takes on her cloth and goes to the door.
“Where are you going?” She obscene herself before turning. He sits like she left him and the withered shine in his eyes that yearns for her burns the side of her heart. Y/n puts her other hand on the handle and looks down without a clear expression.
“I’m really tired.” Her voice is low, putting a further distance.
“Oh, okay.” Juyeon looks down.
Of course he’s so perfect, she thinks and opens the door wider. To set her feet out before she returns and see his sunken posture, watching the patterns at the bottom of the tub. Y/n bites her lips.
“Don’t sleep in the bathtub tonight.” She says and Juyeon looks up, giving her a smile reminiscent of the one he always gives her.
“Don’t worry about me.”
Y/n nods and takes a step out again and shuts the door, not fully closed.
“Thank you.” She says, before at last leaving.
When the divide amid the handle and frame becomes non-existent and each step of her bare feet recites from the floor back to her, she sees the rising moon in the corner of the window, fade from view as dark clouds pass by. There’s no liquid moonlight cast on the kitchen counter, and the metal in the sink emits no starfall reflection.
She takes the hand that holds the only visual significance of the scene in the bathroom, and her other hand on the tap. The white stains run off her hand and weave together with the water. She watches the colors of morning gloom after rain, before it all eventually disappears down the drain. Y/n closes the tap, when her hand is left on the metal and she watches the lone drops of water that's left. It feels as if a part of her essence might have gone down with it, leaving her left at the edge of the world.
Y/n hasn’t stayed in one place since she came down from Olympus for more than a few days. The date of the calendar has passed three days longer than planned, but why does she find this city so astonishingly more beautiful than any other place? She closes her eyes and maybe the ache in her heart will flow down the metal pipes like how she saw. But at last, her hand falls off the tap.
Maybe hope will win, she thinks. The only thing left to believe in, the only thing that will save the three of them. If she goes to sleep in this state of heart, she hopes for their good life that Juyeon sits in the bathtub yearning for the woman he did a few days ago. She hopes no stems grow through his skin and to, as the love goddess and not Y/n, not see him fall to the floor as the power she rules consumes him from within.
-
“You’re awake?”
To turn to the opening between two walls and see the table in the middle of it. The sun is already up. Juyeon takes his hand from his back to above his eyes, in the cause of blinding gray light.
“Yeah, I-” Juyeon sits up and starts walking out the kitchen. Eric and Y/n sit on either side and he stands beside them and looks down the plates.
“You cooked?" Did you burn anything?” He asks Eric in which he shakes his head and points at Y/n while his mouth is full.
“No, Y/n did.”
As she sits on the opposite end from where he’s looking, Juyeon shifts his vision. The golden brown of the bread leaves trails of grease on the tips of her fingers and when she too looks up at him, scenes from last night pass through his peripheral vision like they tell you at the edge of death. Juyeon looks away before any visual traces will be sighted on his face. And as he scratches his neck, Y/n comes up from the chair and goes to the counter. When he feels the faint touch of her free hand on his back, Juyeon looks over his shoulder and sees the plate in her hand.
“I did one for you too.” Her hand leans the plate out for him and Juyeon hesitantly takes it, “I tried to remember what you have on it, hopefully I got it right.” Y/n smiles and gets down to her seat once again.
The vast eyes of his observes her eating before turning down to look at his own plate. How each of the green and red vegetable layers follows the same patterns as he usually does.
Though, in truth, as he takes a bit of the sandwich, a sort of warmth trails down the sore spot. In one way he just thinks the sleepiness is coming off, but in between all the superficial, in the hidden part of his heart, he wants to fall to his knees and shout that Y/n hasn’t abandoned him. That there is hope left for them.
“Eric?” Juyeon has hands on his knees. Eyes turn away from the speckles of color running across the concrete. And when they land on the younger sitting beside him, Eric has his towel in his hands, throws it above his shoulder.
Eric hums and looks at Juyeon.
He plays football in a building further away when school’s over. Sometimes memories return from that unchanged landscape. The sun wore bleachers and the synthetic grass field that spares its color no matter season. At some point, Juyeon didn’t need to follow him and wait on the bleachers.
Juyeon came here as the clock reached noon. He took one stop earlier off the bus and walked to the entrance of the building in light blue paint. And Eric sat like he always has done, on the same place four rows above the grass.
“What’s a good gift to a girl?.” He asks finally. The inner corner of Eric’s eyebrows closes in together as he doesn’t say anything. Simply stares at the one, a row under before his lips curl at its sides and Juyeon throws his face in his palms.
“Ohhhhh!”
Eric’s shoulder veiled in damp shirt material comes closer to his own before the younger takes the towel. He turns it in the air so that cold wind comes down on Juyeon. The one with a towel over his head starts swinging it closer and Juyeon doesn’t get to protest before the damp fabric runs across his face.
“When did you become like this?!” Eric’s eyes, immense as his back falls into a curve to reach down where Juyeon hides.
“Why am I proud?" Eric asks himself as he puts an arm around the older and lets his head high to once again see the bleachers in the lower end become steeper and the artificially green grass spread from one end to the other.
“You didn’t answer.” Juyeon scratches the back of his hair, still with his own features a little nearer empty space down the bleachers.
“What should I give her…a girl?” Juyeon corrects himself. At the end line where the side of the field ends and two planes of the bleachers start, he sees Eric’s feet come into frame and turns towards that direction. The shoelaces have blemishes of black hues and the neon color itself has run with rain water down the drains. Four depressing shades of fabrics in the same motion of how he kicks his feet back and forth, reminiscent of the end leaves of a dying plant.
“I know it’s Y/n so we can start from there.” Eric answers and leans forward, “So what should you give Y/n?”
Juyeon sighs again and lets his face in between his hands while falling forward.
“I don’t know, that’s why I came here.”
Eric continues to look down on his shoelaces, “I mean, you know her well, you can’t figure out at least one thing?”
Juyeon shakes his head.
“No wonder she broke up with you.” He says to himself and the older takes his face up from his hands and stares at him with deadpan.
“Okay, too soon.” Eric takes up his hands above his head.
“I don’t know, chocolate, that’s classic. A movie ticket to a romance movie? She’s the god of love – or new clothing, she doesn’t have much clothes.” Eric starts to look up at the high ceiling but jumps one step away on the bleachers as Juyeon stands up and gasps.
“I know, I– thank you, see you!”
Eric holds his arm closer to his own body, all while Juyeon jumps down the four rows and disappears along the white edge of the green field. The heavy metal door at the side of the building echoes throughout the empty walls.
His eyes linger on the cold metal doors. There’s butterflies in his stomach, and not for himself, but for his brother. The slight change in atmosphere in their limited apartment, and the expressions of Juyeon’s face seemed to have cleared with the sky. Truly, Eric thinks, Y/n being a goddess or not, she cast a spell on their life and made him look at the sunset in an angle never perceived before. If she could stay with them, with Juyeon, a little longer, he might actually believe he gets to see flowers bloom in spring.
Though, ever since he wrote their names on the note and she told him it’s not possible. He looks at his brother, when he melts to his knees and reaches out to touch her. The severe words she uttered that evening. In her otherworldly complexion, there’s a shadow she desperately tried to hide from him that day. Eric knows more than anyone, even more than Juyeon himself, that their love is inevitable. But a part of him hopes still, that the thing she fears so deeply, is merely a projection, and that if he doesn’t tell Juyeon, the three of them might get what is closest to “forever”.
As Y/n came to them in the last weeks of December, she noticed the decorations of warm light scattered across every avenue. Eric told her on the bus once that they celebrate the passage of a new turn around the sun. That whole ride until the final glass cubicle, she told questions in which Eric eagerly answered. Juyeon and Eric, promised Y/n to take her to the center city when the sky’s shimmer.
They’ve walked all three down the street alleys. There’s a light from every restaurant and in the few open balconies and windows, music blasts through the street. She’d never seen so many shoes on the same platform. How it causes ripples in puddles, forces the mall entrance doors to stand open eternally and the constant, city conversations integrate.
None of them took much down to the festival, Juyeon told her to dress up but there’s not much in her limited closet that would pass as festive attire. While she herself went with the shirt she always wears, it itched in Juyeon’s fingers to give her paper blue bag beside the bed. When down the street she pointed towards it, asked him why he’s carrying a bag. Juyeon took the excuse of wanting an extra scarf and umbrellas with him if it starts raining.
To chase warmth while running through the open streets. And when the entrance door to the mall directs like curtains, people have gathered for the final scene of the night., Juyeon touches them both lightly.
“I’ll get us something to eat, we haven’t eaten since lunch.” Juyeon points at a nearby van down one of the streets. It reeks of steam from the window while the person in front fervently switches conversations with the new person next in line. The two nod and Juyeon looks at Y/n while turning half away.
“Look after Eric, okay!?”
In the midst of all the burning colors, Y/n takes her eyes off the sky to see the reflection of each spark in people’s eyes. As passionate red fills the sky and scatters a wither of faint glow, Y/n think truly, that she has never felt as alive as now. The upper quarter of the crowd starts to move, she looks in that direction where a concise distance opens up between two jackets.
That divide of the mass has loosened and the wall of the closest building works as a background to the people passing by that glimpse. Another firework goes off, echoes over the crowded platform. Eric looks up when her hand on his own becomes tighter and the direction of her head is not the sky but the front wall of the mall. He too leans forward to see between the arms of the ones before them, but as he opens his mouth to ask her what’s wrong, Y/n takes an even stronger grasp around his hand. Her own skin forces white spots to appear onto Eric’s and he nearly falls in a man’s chest as she turns.
“What?!-” Eric shouts as people pull their shoulders closer to their warmth when they run past them. Y/n doesn’t look back, but exchanges attention from the barely patterns of the platforms and Eric’s hand secured in her own.
“Run Eric!” Y/n tries to overpower the next color that fires off above them.
To escape the borderline of tight bound space and now free view over the imminent skyscrapers and alleys from the center. Y/n’s chest falls desperately, an impending sensation that hurts at the mit of her heart and seeps through the back. As each breath might cut her throat inside and a dye of red stronger than the one above, she takes another step and starts running.
“What are we running from?!” Eric asks again, but Y/n doesn’t answer. The younger sometimes, when he looks at her face, sees a glimpse of her features when her hair comes behind the side profile. Vast eyes that none of the massive street lights can catch the attention of, and once or twice closes her eyes like it hurts. The strange fright running after them has him desperately coil his fingers with hers, run towards wherever she takes him. As the city flashes them by like a sped up film, they pass a familiar face without even noticing. He calls their names but only Eric looks back.
“Y/n! It’s Juyeon!” Eric shouts and looks at her.
“I need to go Eric, I need to go!” She breathlessly answers him. The signs start to fade, only streetlight patterns with distance lines the alley, the rest hidden. Fireworks from the curved celestial become all fainter and she can clearly hear his voice now.
“Y/n! Y/n stop!” Her name bears through the street. There’s a few restaurants with closed doors and warm lighting down the high walls. The people inside might see the silhouettes disappearing in an instant before the outer window.
Juyeon shouts again and runs. The paper bag hits his thigh. Cause of petals in his throat, each shout becomes weaker and soon no air seems to pass them. The lungs inside his chest reach for air but like a cement divide, it seems impossible. Juyeon coughs as he still runs, and hears Eric shouting her name too. At the end of the road where three others meet, Juyeon gets his hands on her shoulder and forces her back towards him. They stop in an instant, and his other hand comes to her shoulder.
“Y/n!” All three breathe heavily as they stand in a crossing. When the sky burns of color, it might even melt.
“What happened?” He takes another breath and Y/n takes a step back, but Juyeon forces her feet to return to that place. Her head looks the other direction so her side profile comes into full view, but his hands go to carry her face.
“Y/n?”
“I need to go.” She swallows. Eric takes a step from the two of them, watches how tears edges off her eyes.
“I need to go, Juyeon.” Her own hand comes to his upper arms as she tries to push him away, but his own only comes closer, embracing her shoulder and back. The white fabric folds against his arms. To never let his sight of hers.
“Why? Why do you need to go?” He asks gently.
“It’s my mother, I saw my mother.” Y/n breathe and try to look behind Juyeon’s back before returning, “I’ve stayed for too long, I shouldn't have used my powers.”
Finally all the water that has accumulated under her eyelashes overflows and a single drop runs down the curve of her cheek. As the tears itself saturate the space beneath her eyes and drown the lashes, all thoughts that would continue to pile up on her mind, reach the high ceiling. Where the last piece of stress bends at the top and eventually the whole tower falls. Tension releases in a second and Y/n feel her body become heavy.
“I need to go.” She says again in a voice barely above a whisper. To face the rain covered asphalt, the strands of her hair fall before her face. Juyeon holds his arms still in that place they are in. But eventually, he let them fall to her upper arms. When her body is fully in his embrace, Juyeon pulls her closer so her head lands on his shoulder and body against his own.
“I’ll help you get away.” Juyeon says gently. Though the fragments scratching his throat tightens at the sentence, he takes another breath through the flourished broken part. Let the sharp edges of vines pierce the insides.
“And Eric will too.” He adds, looks towards the younger. Y/n shifts, then, a meter away stands Eric in a tense position, though, it slowly loosens as she looks at him. The yellow sign behind him, shines from his head like a halo and he gives her that boyish smile like he always does. At that, she gifts one back.
“But you have to sleep.” She looks back at Juyeon, “We’ll help you out of here in the morning, but you can’t leave tonight.”
She’s quiet.
“I promise, your mom won’t find you.” He says sincerely as he looks at her in the eyes. Y/n can’t say anything, instead nods.
-
Y/n didn’t sleep. Even when she lied in bed with vision parallel to the turned off lamps above, Juyeon with great delicacy took the spot beside her. She refused to visually trace his face, still when his arm came under her neck and voice fluttered against her ears as he drew her closer. Forced light to divide from her eyes, maybe nothingness would mend the sore. Though, for every change on the minute digit and next firework. Naivety only pushes it bitterly, to grow in the hidden parts of her essence.
Even at 5 in the morning, when their side of Earth still longs the sun, Juyeon’s hand is placed over her like before. Though, feather-like when he sleeps. His other arm is placed across her chest and at the end of his hand, he holds her upper arm. She turns from the ceiling, down to the side where his face is closest. Only in intimate moments have he been this near, but for the first time she can admire his natural red blemishes and the patterns on lips without Juyeon withdrawing.
Time may stop for merely a second when she sees him like this, but there's trouble deep within her heart. It consumes butterflies left in her stomach and she reaches out closer to him, kisses him at the ending scene. It’s gentle and fast, contrasting to the cruelly slow ones they shared before. Y/n loosens his arm and climbs out the bed. When she packs all the belongings that can count on two hands, she sits on the floor and looks over towards Eric. The view is incredibly familiar as his arms depend on the bed edge and feet free from the fabrics.
Y/n smiles before the pocket in the bag closes and she walks towards that side of the room. Her head is on its tilt when she tries to look at his face from the right angle. His mouth is slightly agape when he breathes and carefully Y/n takes her hand to brush his fringe. The covers are halfway over his stomach and Y/n bring it over his chest. As the edge of the stripes ends before his neck, Y/n takes a step back. To look at the room in its grandest form, she feels like bursting into tears.
At last, she walks out the kitchen floor like an ending scene and comes out the hallway, just like the credit scene. When she reaches down for her shoes, a piercing knock on the door comes through the walls. Y/n stumbles backwards and catches her weight with her arm. She stands completely still while looking up the impending door. Another knock echoes throughout the apartment and this time, Y/n straightens up from the floor and takes the handle. Let the backpack fall to the side.
When the door opens and the bright light from the stairs burns the dim apartment, her eyes squint. Though, a tall figure in dark clothes creates a shadow. She follows the lines of his clothing and sees his face. An older man with barely no hair, same with his smile.
“Is this Lee Juyeon’s apartment?” He asks in a monotone voice.
Y/n’s quiet for a second before nodding, “Yeah, he lives here.”
“Is he here?”
Y/n falls quiet again. To stare at his face without words, she looks down and sees the mark on the uniform chest. The reflexes on the navy shade and all the layers underneath. Y/n swallows before looking up again.
“No he’s not.” Y/n says without doubt. The man looks behind her, into the kitchen area for a second.
“Where is he then?”
She answers quickly as adrenaline starts rising, “He visited a friend last night after the fireworks, a friend from school.”
“Do you know where this friend lives?” He asks and Y/n bites her lip.
“Not completely, he took the bus.”
“Do you remember the number?”
“Maybe eight.” She lies.
The man takes up his phone and types something quick. She still holds the door when he puts it back down in his pocket.
“Are you aware of the investigation regarding Lee Juyeon?”
Y/n furrows her eyebrows.
“No.”
“He may be in possession of illegal firearms and has used them.” He pauses, “We are also in search of Eric Sohn?””Social services have been called to take him in since he's a minor with a guardian under crime investigation.”
Y/n stands with her mouth agape. In desperate need to answer him as he looks at her, but words refuse to come out.
“I understand it’s confusing,” he takes up a notepad and a pen, “But we’re gonna have to ask for your name since you seem to be close with Lee Juyeon and Eric Sohn.”
Y/n does write her name, incredibly unstable for the age she appears. She looks up at him when she has just written her name, he doesn’t say anything but reads between the glances that a second name in after space should be there too. Y/n quickly adds a surname and gives the note and pen back to the officer.
“Thank you.” He says, “Is Eric Sohn with Lee juyeon?”
“Yeah.” Y/n nods, “They took the bus together last night.”
After a few more questions, the officer does finally leave her at the door. She doesn’t close it until his silhouette disappears fully down the stairs. When it finally does and she has stood there long enough for the automatic lights in the ceiling to shut, she does pull the handle close and lean her forehead towards the frame. Y/n closes the lids against the bottom as if it’ll erase the world from her. But when she opens them, the world is still cruelly real and she turns to the kitchen.
Y/n shakes Eric first, let the covers she adjusted fall down his stomach once again. He lets out a confused sound with eyes still closed. Y/n continues to bother him while speaking.
“Eric, you need to wake up.”
Eventually she walks over to Juyeon, grabs arm and shakes his upper body. She repeats his name in usual volume and slowly his eyes come open and his head turns to her.
“Y/n?”
“The police were here.” She shakes him still, “You’re under criminal investigation, Juyeon. They’ll take Eric…you’re a criminal, Juyeon.”
Y/n herself seem to have not fully comprehended the words the officer spoke outside. And as she voices what he told her, it dawns on her chest and her breath becomes heavy. She looks at him weakly when he sits up. The tiredness that lingers after slumber has disappeared and he looks at her with vast eyes and she repeats it to him.
“Social services will take Eric, you’re under investigation for illegal firearm use.”
Juyeon stares at her for a second before taking the phone off the desk. She takes a step back once the blue light illuminates his face. He clicks into the news sights and at first article at the very start of the site, a video recording from the alley when he fired off the gun. He hits the lamp above them and it ends shortly after the man stands up. He reads the title of the article, “Young man wanted after shooting”.
She sees the video rewind on his phone as his face turns to Eric on the other side who shifts position. Despite the weight coming down on them in one moment, none of them even stands up or walks out. From today's news, their tomorrow plays out in front of their visions. Like a gloomy movie Juyeon watches how they take Eric, ship him off to somewhere, long outside this city while he himself is stuck in between the same four walls for months on end.
Y/n herself knows she must take herself out of the city. Sky’s been watching, nothing’s here will save her. But she can’t take her feet to the hallway, bend her arms down to her bag and leave them behind.
“I’m so sorry, Juyeon.” She doesn’t know why she apologizes. After all, it’s not her in a layered uniform who will come between the closed door at dawn and separate the two. But the way his eyes lingers on Eric’s silhouette while the grip on the phone tightens.
Juyeon suddenly looks up towards Y/n, he stands up and takes her shoulder, “Don’t apologize, Y/n.”
He walks away to the kitchen, opens the shelves and takes out red packages. Snacks in vibrant colors and then down to the refrigerator where he grabs the plastic bottle of juice. She stays in one place, unable to relocate her essence when the world progresses at a fast pace. Juyeon places the food on the table before he goes to the hallway to take out a backpack. Y/n takes her first step closer to follow his silhouette where she once stood to leave.
“What are you doing?” She asks when he comes back to the table and lies the cheap plastic in the backpack.
“We’ll have to move too.”
She’s quiet for a second, stands with hands against her sides when he goes to the shelfs.
“Where?” She looks at him.
“I don’t know, probably where you’re going.”
His answer causes a wind to force the side edge of the mirror to reflect back onto herself. Her double vision becomes unclear when the thing she focuses on is rather a gloom layer at the far end of the world. Probably Y/n will disappear in the masses of people down the main road complexions before even that fades as she comes all the further from the center metropolitan. When buildings start to lose color and texts graze the sides of parks, she’ll take the bus and let the vehicle take her as far as it can. Where she’ll stand in the vast world when the sun falls down the horizon once again, is like always, a mystery.
“I’m not leaving Eric.” Juyeon comes back to the table before turning to her.
“And not you either.”
-
Before the sun breaks up on the horizon, they were out of the apartment. The sky’s collapsing above them as it rains, reminiscent of melancholy in hearts. Y/n walks beside Juyeon in between high end stores and dares to look up the gray coloration in thick layers. It all reminds her of the first day she saw this city for the first time.
They come to a meeting point where the city's buses pass in rush hour. The weather has worsened, wind from the shoreline comes through the building divides and forces the rain to stand on diagonal. They force their heads down and in need of perception, they peek through the strands. With all the other lights and reflections, they see neon green stripes of guards around the platform. The central station has just a few white stripes on the asphalt before them.
To let one of the glass structures hold the rain above, Eric and Y/n take their hoods off and let the water that has accumulated run down their backs. Y/n looks to the left to see a woman in the inner corner of the booth. She shifts her feet as it reeks and scatters of cigarettes.
“You didn’t have another jacket?” Eric looks at Juyeon who hesitantly takes his hand up the edge of his hood.
“It’s the only one that is waterproof.”
Eric sighs, “If they come up to us, it’s your fault.” He points at the officers the other booth away.
“I’m sure those two, specifically, don't look for us.” Juyeon emphasis.
Y/n lean over to hold her finger before her lips. They look at her with immense eyes and eyebrows knitted together. In response, she tilts her head in constant pattern, back towards the woman behind, she’s on her own phone, but both Juyeon and Eric get the hint. Eric turns to the open rectangle staring out into the rain that has started to take on forms of snow.
As another bus pass them and it’s only seven minutes until theirs come, the officers has come out the booth and started patrolling this line. Their uniforms in neon details shines clearly through the snow. And as they come closer, each of them become stale in their soaked clothing, feeling each water drop plummet against the ground.
“Just be natural.” Juyeon says in low volume while hitting them gently with his elbow.
The two officers come before the transparency. The three of them hold their heads in other directions, only daring a look in between time through side eyeing. The two have stopped talking, topics seem to have run dry and they come closer to the death of afternoon. The officer closest to them passes his eyes over the glass. Juyeon holds his breath tightly and looks up at the screen in orange outlines showing another minute. At last, none of them cease dividing puddles as they continue down the platform.
The three of them fall with their backs onto the glass. Y/n turns to see the silhouette linger. But as she prepares to look away, Y/n tears her eyes off immediately, as they glimpse through the thick rain and stained glass. When a half minute has gone by, she dares to seek that side again, the two officers are static on that spot.
Y/n budge Juyeon with her elbow, but he only faces the back side of her head. He follows where he thinks her sight lines and sees the two officers turn to look at their booth. The two of them look away and Juyeon brings Eric closer to his side.
Eventually the two officers walked back to them, letting the glass divide two sides. The woman beside them looks towards the opening to see the police seek inside, but she quickly turns back to her screen.
“Waiting for the bus?” The one to the right asks.
“Yeah.” Juyeon nods.
“Did it work paying for tickets? We’ve been getting complaints all day that the machine is struggling.”
“Yeah, we used the app.” He answers quickly.
There’s silence.
The police breathe in, “We’ve gotten a report of suspicion against you three.”“There’s a case of a young man potentially on the run, he has a younger brother of sorts and a female friend.” He pauses, “It’s a serious errand, I would want to ask for your names.”
Eric looks up at Juyeon, then down into the ground, Y/n herself side eyes him too.
“Kim Joonwoo.” Juyeon says after a passage of silence.
They look down at Eric.
“Max Sohn.”
Y/n too lies.
The two officers look skeptical at the three of them. Then their eyes lock with each other and one of them tilts their head further out the rain before disappearing.
“We want you guys to wait for a minute, we’ll just have to check in.”
The other stands in the rain with their back against them. His hand comes out the pocket as he holds a phone to his ear.
Juyeon bites his lip. The one standing against the booth frame has taken out his phone and stares at the screen. Juyeon looks towards Y/n and budges her arm with his own. Y/n dares to look at him and they lock eyes. He doesn’t say anything, but points his head towards teh space where the last officer stood. She knits her eyebrows at first, leans harder against the glass pane when he eagerly opens his eyes and points with his head in that direction. Finally he looks over the two officers and sees none of them at concentration, he takes his lips closer to her hair.
“When I take your hand, we’ll run, okay?” Juyeon falls back. The little space created heats of whispers in cold rain. Y/n nods as Juyeon turns to Eric and whispers the same words.
Her heart races behind the synthetic fibers of the coat. Out in the rain, the officer guides his hand away and let the phone come before his face. At that moment, before he hangs up on the caller, a cold grip on her own soaked fingers runs through her. She already had her heel on the glass divide and push from it in a second. Eric accidentally falls against the other police when he runs out their back silhouettes dim out the rain, directed towards the street up the city.
One officer shouts at them which takes the attention of the other and in a span of less than seven seconds all five are aiming at that street. Juyeon holds their hand desperately in his own as the asphalt end seem to decline in streetlights, in compassion to the escape.
-
“I’m hungry.” Eric sits on the edge of the bed. How the perfect surface of the silk white sheets forms lines in which he sits. There’s only one bed, or two thinner, long sides against each other. Y/n lets her bag onto the floor two meters after the hotel door. There is no scent in the room, if she concentrates and lifts her chin higher, maybe there’s a hint of chlorine.
“We all ate before going.” Juyeon throws himself onto the other side.
“Yeah, but I’m still growing.” Eric complains and falls in parallel to Juyeon.
“You don’t.” Juyeon smiles while looking at the ceiling before his head falls to the side in which the both of them share. Eric too lets his eyes wither from the spotlight shine and turn to the subject in which he falls onto.
“Ha, really funny.” Eric deadpans, takes the pillow that’s half a meter from his head. When he holds the pillow in the air, gravity takes it down to the mattress in which Eric aims towards Juyeon. The older one takes his own elbow as a protective hold before his eyes. Sounds of laughter erupt from that side of the room as Eric goes onto knees to hit Juyeon fervently.
Y/n stands in parallel to the mirror before the bathroom. For the first time she smiles in what feels like years. The sheet edges loosens from the mattress when Juyeon only vaguely tries to protect his body from the hits. Even then, his elbow comes back down to its side. Only closes his eyelids when the pillow comes close and the smile, only Eric gifts to see, never falters.
A surreal wind goes through the walls, fills the hotel room. It struck her again, in her heart. Human time slows down and despite having a window right before her, that world disappears at the edge of the observable horizon. As the pillow in Eric’s hand falter and comes to lie in his lap, Y/n goes to Juyeon’s bag, opens the zipper and takes out a plastic packaging of a white cream bread. To come up to the bed herself and cross her legs at the end of Juyeon’s feet and diagonally towards Eric, she gives him the bread.
“Oh, thank you, Y/n.” Eric takes it and opens the sealed edge.
“You’re seriously giving him?” Juyeon takes only his head up from the mattress which forces his voice to come out strained.
“Yeah?” Y/n smiles and looks at him.
“He should only get a reward if he has done something good.” Juyeon falls back.
“He has.” She insists.
“Like what?”
“Shut you up.”
Eric laughs and hits the surface of the bed with his free hand. Y/n too smiles at her own comment and the two of them bring their hands to a high five. While the laughs lingers in between the divide of the bed Juyeon shifts onto his stomach and falls flat with his head against the fabric.
When they arrived with the bus at the outer corner of the city, it was already dark. They ran until street signs were rare and seeked for their conservation behind a karaoke bar down the crowded street. At the backside of the building with all bins of alcohol cans and empty plastic bags, they sat between the black synthetics. It rained still, they balanced on their feet even when they had sat there for 20 minutes. At last, Juyeon spoke for the first time since the shout to run behind the corner. After, they took the bus on a lonely waiting platform with no screen on the bus times, just a worn down time table underneath the name.
No one else beside them and a man, two seats before, sat on the bus. And even the man walked off two stops before them as they sat on those demishined seats for as long as the ride let them. When the last stop got called through the speakers, they walked off back into the rain and the sun had fallen. Only those usual lights on row down the street were there to guide. At last when their feet were sore from escaping and minds had become numb from all the oversaturation they came to a hotel in gloom.
They couldn’t tell if it was because of the dark or the hotel building simply hadn’t been renovated since it first came to fruition on this street. Either way, three of the eight letters before the entrance didn’t work.
After barely an hour after closing the door to their small room in which Juyeon used his extra money for, they took on other clothes and went to lie in bed. Eric’s closest to the window, Y/n in the divide where the two beds leave a limited gap and Juyeon thereafter. She feels slightly stale when in between the two of them, but it loosens off quickly when Eric starts talking about stories from when he was younger and what he and his friends did the month ago. The two older listens as his words become incomprehensible in sleep.
Suddenly it's just the two of them again. Y/n’s quiet when Juyeon starts coughing a little, he takes his arm up to his mouth and she turns their shared side to see him caress the underside of his throat. When they were running from the officers and jumped behind the back alley, Juyeon too reached deeply for air and desperately seemed to mute his coughs while waiting. She blinks a few times while still staring at him, before speaking.
“You’re okay, Juyeon?” Only a mere part of all the worries and guilt in her heart.
“Yeah.” He coughs once more before guiding his arm underneath his head, “Just a little sick I think.” He smiles and scratches his hair, “The rain was really cold.”
His voice only reaches the span of the closest two pillows when he takes his hands underneath his chin and turns to the side, “I think I need a hug.”
Y/n squints her eyes and looks at his smile before whispering, “Really? "Right now?”
Juyeon’s request when in a strange bed while his face circulates rounds on the internet, it feels rather inappropriate in her book. Though, she laughs as the fringe falls diagonally over his vast eyes. There’s a point in pearl essence when he looks at her in which she has no choice but to reach for his face. The same echoing words in the back of her mind as the night they spent together in each other's arms comes back. It taunts her to divide space in between them. But even when not only this Earth, but the universe, chases them, she still finds her soul melting of tenderness when he looks at her.
“You are a bit cold.” She smiles and caresses his head.
Juyeon hums and closes his eyes, shifts his head on the pillow before bringing himself closer. His head comes underneath her chin as her arms closer around him and his breath comes against her chest.
For every touch of her hand against his essence, and each time her warmth pulsates out of her veins and spreads across his own, he can feel the ways in his throat become choked. Ribbons with sharp edges tightens around his heart. He closes his eyes painfully, forces his head closer to her chest, as if to merge with her, the pain will cease. All the world’s seems to desperately stand in his way, he thinks in this rain drowned night. He can’t look forward to the morning. When any road can take him there, he closes his eyes and wishes to remember this moment, her arms, her presence, even in death. The green plantations in between the frozen cracks might grow from this weather, and so do the lilac petals in his heart.
-
There’s a sharp edge of yellow light. It cuts through the dark room in a single divide and traces up the floor to her face where it climbs up the wall. Y/n opens her eyes just so that a liminal shade of the outer world can be conceived. The light comes from the open bathroom door diagonally from her. As hands spread across the pillow behind her to let the weight off the mattress, Y/n hears violent dry coughing coming from the gap.
She looks to the left where the side of the window stands, Eric still sleeps. Juyeon’s pillow has creases left of him and the sheet is folded from where he left. Another severe cough occurs from that room and Y/n folds the fabric once more as the warmth accumulated underneath, lowers in degrees while free. Gently while rubbing her eyes with her left hand, Y/n takes the other on the frame while adjusting her eyes to the light.
“Juyeon?”
He depends on the sink with his hands. Upper body leaned forward over the crater while his back replicates the harsh sounds coming from his throat. Y/n tilts her head to see his face, but neither standard vision or mirror angle contravene her fear. The cough brutally tears on the insides of his throat, it too causes delusive discomfort in her own body.
His back straightens suddenly and Juyeon turns his head over. She stays in continued silence as he looks at her with eyes of liquid layers and redness underneath. He takes his arm up to his mouth to cough again before he takes a step closer and directs his body to come in between the bounded space of frame and body.
“I’m okay.” He says hastily without making eye contact.
Y/n follows the sight of his back silhouette returning into the hotel room. She lets go of the door frame, takes a single step to the sink. A dead garden with only traces left, deep lilac petals. It decorates the sink by erratic trails from the mit where water comes down. The air in her own chest twined amidst two ways. In contrast to the exhausted motions from the bathroom, she forces the door up even wider until it hits the other wall. Juyeon with arms against the mirror at the bed end, and she rushes towards him.
“Juyeon!” With her hands on his shoulders, she pulls him closer to turn him in a direction to let his front face hers. But he stubbornly leans heavier against the mirror and only his left shoulder comes two centimeters closer before returning back.
“Juyeon!” Her voice is loud in a room compressed beside ten others at the end of the city. She refuses to close her eyes when he coughs again and eventually, they plummet to the ground when he can’t bear the flowers rotting his body. Juyeon's face hides before the carpet.
Y/n sinks to her knees, takes one hand under his chin and the other at the back of his head. To force his face up from the floor and see lilac vibrancy in gloom consume his features. A single petal falls from the end of his lips down to her thigh. Now when it traces her essence, she feels so cruel for being optimistic.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” The hand on his hair comes to his cheek where she touches the red coloration with her thumb. Let the gentle pressure create white patterns before it returns to that color.
“I- '' Juyeon coughs again and Y/n takes her other arm on his shoulder when he comes down to her lap. His hair scattered across her legs and the ceiling above him withers in view.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Y/n repeats in which he looks remorsefully up at her from her embrace.
“I’m sorry, Y/n.”
Tears threaten at the borderline under her eyes. Y/n shakes her head and reaches for the backpack behind her. This entire life, she wished to still be holy, but she realizes she might never be, when one grip the arrow. She holds it in her right hand, above his fragile heart. Juyeon’s eyes widen as the sharp knife aims at his vulnerable. He takes her wrist from below and speaks through the petals.
“What are you doing?” He coughs.
“I need to save you, Juyeon!” Y/n holds against him with her own strength.
Her voice becomes softer, “It won’t hurt, Juyeon, I would never hurt you.” The single tear comes off her eye and falls onto his cheek. He pity her so deeply. But he wishes to be destroyed, eradicated by fate, if only he follows her for an eternity.
“I-I don’t want to.” His voice is sore when he speaks and she shakes her head.
“You’re gonna die, Juyeon.” She weighs down the arrow even harder, “I can’t let you die.”
Shift of fabrics comes from the bed above them. Juyeon closes his eyes. Even in no visual presence he feels her raging strength extraordinarily work against him. A single glimpse into the future and his heart aches, maybe even more than the tearing in his throat. He doesn’t know where the second arrow will land after she strikes him, but he might as well be buried six feet under if it’s because of her.
“I love you, Y/n.” He breathes heavily while his eyes lie underneath their lids. Y/n takes his shoulder with her other hand, shakes him fervently,
“Juyeon!”
“I just want to hear you…” He whispers and Y/n forces her eyes close when the tears run down her skin. The grip on the arrow becomes weak from both directions as she leans her face on his chest. Y/n shakes her head because fate betrayed her, gruesome and vengefully again.
There’s faintly rain shatter. The dark gray clouds can be seen from this angle but one can only insinuate the existence of a cityscape at the end of the frame. Each of the droplets running down against the glass becomes further precise. He traces the outline of one of them, like his youth, following its tail to the very end where it shatters into pieces.
“He’s awake!”
A voice that echoes in the strange room, it shares the same stardust as his. He turns from the window and the yellow shine from spotlight sources blinds him. Juyeon squints his eyes as his head comes flat against the hard pillow and a silhouette covers the light in the ceiling.
“Juyeon?” His voice is delicate, softer than in his memories. He knits his eyebrows and answers the one above him.
“Yeah?”
It’s only a word, pronounced sore and lost, but either way, it creates a smile on the boy above. As if too fragile to touch, he reaches his hand down to his shoulder and shakes him gently.
“It’s Eric!” He smiles still.
Juyeon still squints his eyes, “Yeah, I know.”
“Juyeon?”
The door from the other end of the room opens. There’s a wall before, in which two hands hold it while someone peaks through. A doctor comes before her, stands a meter behind Eric while the girl who spoke his name closes in.
Another second passes before he speaks her name. His hand comes down to his chest and he rises from the bed just a little. The girl walks from the spot at the very end of his feet to the opposite side of Eric. She holds both her hands before her front and leans down to him. He feels cold off her body as if been in the rain he just chased. She holds his shoulders while her head rests beside his. Juyeon closes his eyes and embraces her too.
“I was so worried.” She speaks quietly, so that each breath reaches his ear.
“I’m okay, don’t worry anymore.” He answers whilst hugging her tighter.
-
On the day Juyeon woke up at the hospital, she had ran to the bus platform in harsh rain after she got the hurried call from Eric that he was in sleep. Y/n only gave him a few hours to accept how she had altered fate, stand beside them in the yellow room whilst the past became forgotten. Juyeon, after waking up, went to the police station, he was on probation for a month, because of illegal firearm use but they did acknowledge self defense and past of no criminal records. Eric lived with Juyeon’s girlfriend at that time.
When visiting him while on probation nearly everyday after school, Eric told him the weeks leading up to the blackout. All while his brother returned to true state, Eric felt inexpressibly alone after walking home. How he lives in the ruins where no one goes.
Since that day, at the hotel where he nearly saw Juyeon die, Eric apologizes a lot for not being present. He wants to tell them that he lives in dreams, and put himself there because her name will never be forgotten. Instead he’s forced to tell the people that there was no Y/n, no love service, no magic, just an accident as Juyeon had gotten a gun curiously, used it to defend himself when a stranger was attacked in an alley. The rest of the story after new years stays, but without Y/n. He doesn’t know how she did it, but even the name of the friend the police got that morning after new years is not hers, but a friend of Juyeon’s.
Now when it’s the end of spring and the edge of summer, he lives with Juyeon again. They meet up with his girlfriend often after Juyeon’s work. In two days, he’ll pass the school entrance for the last time, and think back, on a summer day in the near future. But as he lies in bed at night, he can’t help mourn the loss of that endless winter. Y/n told him that those moments will wither, not feel as intensely as they once did. But he’s still there.
Eric comes home the next day after being out with his friends after school. Juyeon should be home, he thinks, as he’s nowhere to be seen when in the hallway. To see the sofa in the living room but sounds of struggle comes from a half open door opposite the balcony. There’s no sounds from Eric when walks with only his socks into his bedroom. Eric tilts head to see Juyeon’s back in his closet.
“Why are you in my room?” Eric asks and Juyeon looks up from the floor.
“Your closet door is a bit loose.” He pushes the black slide, “It’s soon done.” Juyeon smiles.
Eric nods but doesn’t take away his vision from that corner as a black box sits beside Juyeon. The lid’s off the edge by a centimeter. Eric comes in and lays the bag at the frame before weighing down on the bed edge. Juyeon has laid down the working material and looks at the black box. Eric straightens his posture when he takes it in his hands.
“I’m just curious, I didn’t mean to be nosy, but why do you have this dress?” Juyeon takes off the lid and angles the rectangular frame to showcase its inside. The dress in light blue color, detailed with white lace, is delicately folded so that the square neckline lies in center of the box. Eric bites his lip, hands on his thighs and touches them up and down the cotton fabric. There’s silence for a moment and Juyeon observes the younger’s expression when no words come out.
“Eric?” He let the box down to his lap.
“It’s yours.” He says and finally looks at him.
Juyeon tilts his head.
“Mine?”
Eric nods, “You bought it as a gift, you were supposed to give it to her on New Years.”
Juyeon asks if he means his girlfriend and Eric shakes his head, looks down again. The fingers of his right hand start scratching against the left. A thin layer of skin loosens from the nail binding. He bites his lip again and thinks of all the lone mind echoes.
Eric hasn’t seen Y/n since the day at the hospital. When Juyeon and his girlfriend started talking down in the room, Eric silently escaped and walked around the different floors with stairs in between. There was a door on the highest floor to an outside platform. Eric stood there, feeling a great sense of compassion for the Earth-like-tears. When it felt like everything might have been a dream, Y/n called his name.
To come into her embrace and affirm she’s real. Though, Y/n told him before leaving that her existence is now not a valid part of Juyeon’s world. That there’s just the two. That she promises he’ll not be left at the threshold of two worlds, that this moment in each other's arms isn’t the last. But winter will soon end, and he must accept how the flowers will forget about snow once it is replaced.
Eric breathes, “It’s Y/n.” He finally admits, still looking down.
Juyeon knit his eyebrows, “Y/n?”
Eric nods and a faint smile comes on his lips, “The one you saved, with the gun was Y/n. She lived with us at the end of December and you told me you loved her. You wanted to ask her out at New Years but you never got the time, because then the police searched for you.”
Juyeon listens quietly, opens his mouth but none come to flourish. Instead he shakes his head.
“I wasn’t told that.” He says hurt.
“She told me not to tell you.”
“But the police, the doctors…” He names the people who have affirmed fiction.
Eric starts swinging his feet and smiles again, “It sounds stupid, but Y/n’s not a human.”
Juyeon raises one eyebrow.
“She’s a goddess, you fell in love with the love goddess, and she, in you.”
-
Juyeon didn’t believe Eric. The younger stubbornly chased after him when Juyeon simply told him, “That’s ridiculous”. To run around every corner of the apartment, even into Juyeon’s room where Eric lied down beside him and reiterated. When Juyeon still persisted, Eric sighed and went up from the bed and out of Juyeon’s room. Went to his own, before coming back with his phone.
“Look, here she is.”
Juyeon turns to Eric’s screen and sees a selfie, presumably he himself has taken of Eric, himself and a girl at the very end. Juyeon’s own phone falls to his stomach and he leans closer to see the picture.
“When’s this?” He asks.
“This winter, in our old apartment.”
Eric scrolls to the next photo which is taken at the store, when they tried out angel outfits. The photo is clearly centered on Eric in his small wings, but Y/n can be seen to the right laughing in her own costume.
“This one’s good.” Eric laughs and scrolls to the next photo in which Y/n holds the pink box on the platform with Juyeon beside her. He throws an awkward peace sign up with half his hair in his face.
“I don’t remember this.” Juyeon tilts with a half smile and takes the phone from Eric’s hand. The younger one comes down fully on the shared pillow as they go through the pictures from that winter.
“She’s the one you wanted to give the dress to.” Eric says eventually.
“Have you met her since?” Juyeon asks at the last picture of them at new year’s.
Eric shakes his head, “No,” He sighs, “She told me that her mother had found her and that she was only allowed a quick visit to meet me.”
Juyeon nods. As if looking at another life when reversing the pictures. But her face, always in the captured stills from the past, insists a dime of all his sensibilities to tell him he cares. Even as the day passes, her face lives like cathedral windows before him.
-
The moon, lifeless, in shine hanging above the sleeping Earth. It’s been dark for a couple of hours. The sun stays above the city line a second longer for each day that passes.
When no one’s there to verify one's existence, the glass door to the balcony opens. No heavy wind passes through the city streets during this weather, but nonetheless she closes the door back to its frame before taking silent steps against the floor. The shoe material at the tip of her toes makes a pitched sound. Those steps come closer to the left door of two at one wall.
To bring her hand out to the handle without any weight. She lets the shine melt into her own essence before gently forcing it down. Between that space is his room, she stands there for a second to finally see it in all three dimensions. At last, when her eyes trail down the wall details and reach him beneath the soft fabrics. His mere existence is extremely poetic.
He reminds her of the present fragile complexity. How human he makes her feel, she thinks. She brings her hand up to her chest, above the spot of her clothing where underneath all the layers, one can sense the quick pulses. Eventually, she takes a step over the borderline, his features in pale moonlight become all clearer. When he’s so close to her, she hesitantly takes out her hand.
His delicate skin is underneath her fingertips, slowly she pulls them back to her own side. Instead, sits down on the left space beside his hip. The bed sheets crinkles when her weight changes the patterns of the creases. She tilts her head. As if there’s a field drawing them towards each other, she leans over his chest and her face comes as close as it can.
At this mere distance, each of his breath lingers. She had been dying to hear his voice and see his face, but truly her heart aches in bliss when his scent touches her face. It forces her to open closed off memories, may be sun bleached and dust, but it warms her human heart, as a part of him she had forgotten, returns to her. Her hand comes to the side of his pillow as she leans forward. He shifts his head and the beautiful hair scatters in new patterns. That peaceful sensation lasts, until the motions of his head spreads to his eyes and they slowly open.
She immediately backs away, the hand returns to her lap and the sudden motion causes an effect on the rest of the bed. There’s a new emotion in her heart as he forces himself off the mattress and rubs his eye. She is still there, at the edge of his bed, when he looks at her with tired eyes. She wishes for him to fall right back onto the pillow, but he doesn’t, instead he continues to stare at her while the exhaustion from sleep disappears.
She finally stands up from the bed. He looks up at her and trails after when she rushes out of the room. Juyeon is left with his hands on the mattress, blinking a few times, agape his lips.
The person on the bed was a visit from a past life. He nearly wonders if the pictures on Eric’s phone he's been thinking about, might have started haunting him. But there’s a pattern left on the spot where she sat, a real world consequence of her existence.
Juyeon takes the sheets off his body and walks up to the door. The silhouette stands at the outer edge. The glass is against the other wall and her lower body is covered by patterns of metal as she stands with her back against the free fall. A night wind from the moon comes through the open door and touches his warm body. It filtrates the thin fabric of his sleepwear and he takes another step forward. As her right feet disappear beneath the balcony floor, Juyeon speaks.
“Wait!”
The moonlight shines behind her when she turns her eyes from beneath.
He opens mouth and walks closer, “You’re Y/n, right?”
Juyeon takes his right leg higher to pass the doorstep elevation before the cold hard floor of the balcony. She’s leaning with both her hands on the railing which causes her to come in greater height than Juyeon. With still a meter between them, Juyeon looks up to her and asks again.
“You’re Y/n?”
The scene is rather overwhelming for her. Only in imagination has she continued seeing those moon made eyes and voice that causes spring to reach the very isolated, cold corners of her heart. None of the human vocabularies she has learned feels acceptable to answer him with, none withstand the level of adoration her heart feels. So at last, to open up to conversation with him one more time, Y/n nods her head.
As she blinks, the nods become faster, “Yeah, it’s me.”
For the first time, after a season, she sees him smile again, “Hi, Y/n.”
She breathes out and smiles too, “Hi, Juyeon.” Though, she tilts her head and observes the highlights caused from the moon on his face.
“How do you know my name?”
A wind passes them, “Eric told me.” He breathes, “He told me you were a goddess, that you saved my life that day when the police came.”
Y/n looks down for a second, still smiling, “Eric couldn’t keep it in, right?”
“He’s pretty indiscreet. Though I guess you already know that?”
Y/n nods.
There’s a passage of silence while a car drives down the street below them. Juyeon hasn’t taken his eyes off her for even a second, trying to place where in his heart she occupied space and if, when they stand together again, the doors will open again for her.
“Where were you?” He asks which makes Y/n look at him again, “All of spring?”
“With my mother.” She nods slowly, “I’m receiving my punishment…” Y/n looks down before smiling. Yet, she looks as if forced to improvise, he thinks“...I’m allowed to visit Earth more often though, I have an apartment here now.” She pauses, “So I’m at least free from that place.”
Juyeon tilts his head, “Punishment?”
“I escaped Olympus, I interfered a lot with human relationships…” She nods with ocean-heavy-eyes, “My mother was pretty angry.”
Juyeon listens attentively when Y/n trails her eyes away and picks at her fingers.
“You don’t remember, but I did fall in love with you back then. Changed your fate from the disease which I shouldn't have.” She looks down, the smile has slowly vanished with the wind, “So I am forever destined to love you unrequited.” She says as if turning home.
The last sentence falling from her lips, causes a permanent block in whatever way was left in his heart. Like winter comes back in a second, deep frost structures his cathedral heart.
“Unrequited?” He repeats.
Y/n nods, “I will never be able to love anyone else. And you, will never love me.”
Juyeon blinks, “Don’t you have powers?”
Y/n smiles again, laughs a little as she takes an arrow from behind her back. For the first time since he saw her eyes, something else falls in center. The sharp edge shines off the left side from the silver light. He realizes as he looks at it, that it is the same edge that must have struck him.
“I’ll die if I use it and the same on you.” Y/n takes the sharp end against his arm. Juyeon brings it closer to his chest as the edge makes a white mark on his skin before it springs back in color. Y/n lowers her head and the arrow disappears behind her back, as mysteriously as it came.
Juyeon looks at his arm. There’s nothing equivalent in words to describe the slow paced swan song that runs through his veins. But somehow he sees the dejection at the tips of her lips and it shares like grief in his heart. He doesn’t know why, but at last he speaks those words that die to come out in the silence.
“I’m sorry.”
Y/n tilts her head, laughs softly before speaking, “Why are you apologizing?”
“I don’t know.” Juyeon scratches the back of his head, “I wish I didn’t have to leave you to love alone.”
Y/n shakes her head, “Even if you didn’t forget me and everything else, my love would have outlived you by a hundred years.” She pauses and looks at him, like described out of a mythology, “Our love was never destined to be forever.”
Despite standing before each other once again, there’s an undeniable distance. Y/n ‘s heart that desperately longs for Juyeon’s, but there is no lost place. There’s no use in trying. The universe has created an eternal absence, pulling them miles apart even when they’re here, at the same time in the same place. How tragically, he thinks.
“But…I wasn’t punished?” Juyeon knits his eyebrows.
“I mean, kind of.” Y/n says gently, “Though, not in the way I am.”
“But I don’t understand, what was my punishment?”
“Guilt.”
Juyeon tilts his head, “Guilt?”
She smiles weakly, “Cause you’re a good person, Juyeon.” And it slowly fades, “Only good people die with guilt.”
He looks down onto the cold floor of the balcony. There’s tragedy in marrow, cruelly hurts when she thinks of the eternity waiting for her. How the adoration for him will simply not mature. How her heart will search for him, far and wide, even when he’s no longer here.
Y/n swallows, “Anyways,” She shakes her head to let a strand fall beside her face. Her voice tears Juyeon’s eyes up from the floor, “You told me before I saved you…” She pauses to let another wind pass them by.
“...that you loved me. But I never said it back.”
Y/n looks down from the railing, locks eyes again. She reaches deep within, to find maybe even a fragment of him that will remember those words.
“So I want to tell you that I love you too, Juyeon. Not because I’m punished to, but because you loved in a way no one else has done.” She breathes out, “I didn’t quite understand love back then, I couldn’t understand humans,” She smiles weakly, “even when I wanted to save you and you said no, I couldn’t grip my head around why you didn’t want to be saved.” He looks at the goddess with vast eyes when the moonlight is at its brightest behind her.
“But now, when I’m forever punished loving you, I still think that I wouldn’t want it any other way.” She says, “I want to love sincerely even when you don’t love me.”
The lips of his mouth form a faint gape. The reflection of the moon in the left center pupil fades and returns like it's pulsing. He waits for a spark, a falling star or even a firework, but the night stands as still as it always does. Though, with the sincere words she gives him, he wishes there’s a part in his heart that receives it, that can fully comprehend the words she so gently tells him.
Another car passes by and Y/n looks down the detailed street in lights. Her hand comes up before making a sound on the metal railing.
“Well, I think that was all.” The smile she gives him comes as if perfectly out of the photo on Eric’s phone, “Thank you, Juyeon. I’ll protect you and Eric from the bad things, you've been through enough.” She once again takes a foot down the balcony.
“Wait-”
Y/n looks up as he pushes the glass door open again and disappears into the room. Still halfway down, Y/n tries to perceive his shadow behind the frame. Only struggles of doors and paper can be heard from her distance, but at last, Juyeon comes out again. He holds a black paper box with his two hands.
“I don’t remember, but Eric told me I wanted to give this to you on New Year’s, but I never got the chance to.”
Y/n comes up again, reaches her hands out but hesitantly takes them back a centimeter. Juyeon smiles delicately and pushes the box closer to her. To open the lid, he sees her expression fade into brilliance. As if sunrise has come above the horizon, he tilts his head and smiles too. The distance destined between them refuses to let him fully comprehend the gift, but truthfully when she lifts it up, a pure bliss rushes through him.
“You brought it?” Y/n holds the top part of the dress as those burnt memories return.
“Apparently,” He smiles.
As she pulls the fabric a bit higher, a piece of paper reveals itself underneath. Y/n takes her other hand and folds open the letter.
Happy New Year’s, Y/n!
You looked really pretty in that dress so I wanted to give it to you. If I ask you out now, I hope you will wear it.
Love, Juyeon
She reads it over and over until it means visually nothing and ocean edges on her eyes. The choir of lovers that sing in her lone marrow, how each word tears at her strings deeply, “Thank you, Juyeon, thank you.” They shine as she looks back up.
She puts the letter into the box again and closes the lid.
“I’ll treasure it forever, I promise. “
He smiles because she now knows it wasn’t always unrequited. That the mourn and loss wasn’t all for nothing. Though, still in melancholy cause he can’t help her like she saved him. Amidst everything in silence, Juyeon’s eyes widen.
“Oh, I nearly forgot. Eric’s graduation is tomorrow,""do you want to come?”
“Are you sure?” Y/n hesitates.
“Of course.” He smiles, “I think he missed you.”
At those words, she finally nods, embraces the box a bit closer, “Then, I’ll come!”
“Great, meet me on this street at ten tomorrow morning, okay?”
Y/n nods and takes a step down.
“I think you should use the stairs.” Juyeon leans over the railing.
“Oh, right.”
“Eric!”
He turns when his name, pronounced deja vu inducing extreme, trails the high ceiling. The friends in circle stops talking and almost instantly, he recognizes her silhouette, that can overthrow the world, in the crowd.
“Y/n!” The paper in his hands withers off when he meets her halfway there. She closes her eyes when he’s under her arms again. The black suit he has on scratches against her arms. Y/n tells him he’s the most handsome she has ever seen him. She ruffles his head when they let go. Eric would have sulked but couldn't when he had missed her so deeply.
Juyeon came up too and soon after his girlfriend walked through the entrance. Y/n, though, struck her heart that night after Juyeon, didn’t have a chance to see her. As she stood real before her, she smiled fondly and introduced herself. Her tender heart, molten because of the lovers. Though as the two turn to walk down the entrance, and their traces leave Eric Y/n, her cursed soul starts to mourn.
She thinks; if I told you my world stopped when I saw you. You wouldn’t have believed me. You should have known by then that the heaven’s lies in my palms and when you said my name, angels heard it echo.
They say nothing truly disappears, that it just changes. Then, she hopes that if she shouts his name into the black void, it’ll come back to him as an echo. That if she believes in love, help people over the street, pet cats and water her plants, that all that love will reach him someday, in some form.
She hopes, if she lives on, worshiped in history, that if her name gets spoken in the far future, his will too. When we believe there’s nothing left to be made holy, she sincerely begs to tell this tale, to any lovers, that’s left alive.
© littleroaes, written and all
a/n : that self conscious part of me thinks no one will make it down here, but if you did, thank you!
tagging : @from-izzy
#deoboyznet#the boyz imagines#tbz imagines#the boyz scenarios#juyeon imagines#juyeon fluff#juyeon angst#juyeon smut#the boyz smut#the boyz fluff#the boyz angst#kpop imagines#juyeon#the boyz juyeon#lee juyeon#tbz juyeon#kpop fluff#kpop angst#tbz fanfic#the boyz#tbz#tbz x reader#the boyz x reader
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hi im inlove with ur eros!!! could i trouble you to write more eros x goddess!reader pls? 😭
☛ goddess!reader caressing eros' wings
☛ fluff, sfw, suggestive towards the end, short
eros' breaths were so light you wouldn't have heard them if it weren't for the deafening silence in his room and your proximity. from where you had rested your head against the silky pillow, mere inches from his divine face, you could see every pore, every dip, every single one of his long lashes. laying perfectly still, you knew you couldn't move, even though something sharp was pricking your bare thigh. it was only when eros adjusted his arms around your middle in his sleep that you could pull it out from under you.
you blushed when you held the object in your hands. it was a single white feather and you could recount the exact moment it had disassembled from the remaining plumage last night. fascinated, you let one finger run over the vane and it seemed to tremble under your soft touch.
you had never touched eros' wings before. it felt weirdly intimate, sacred even. but that had not stopped you from dreaming about it, trying to envision it. when he held you in his arms up in the air where he liked to playfully tease you, hundreds of feet above the ground, you couldn't help but admire them, watch, how the softer ones were moved by the breeze. in intimate moments such as last night, you were always carefully avoiding them, scared to hurt them accidentally.
propping your head up on your hand, you watched eros' sleeping face intently. would he mind if you just tried to feel his wings? he had never said anything about it. you would be careful, too! breath quivering with excitement, you let your fingers ghost over your lover's shoulders, lower to his back and stop just right next to the spot where the majestic wings grew from his back. studying his sleeping face, you found no trace of tension or discomfort, so you let your fingers ghost over the spot.
eros jolted lightly in his sleep and you quickly pulled your hands back in order to not disrupt his peaceful slumber. and they would have stayed back if it hadn't been for the almost inaudible whine that left your lover's lips. his eyelids fluttered but stayed close, only his voice, perfectly soft but muffled from drowsiness, reached out to you. "don't stop." your face grew hot.
not entirely sure if it was what he truly wanted or if you had misheard, you let the tips of your fingers ghost over the edge of his wings. a sigh of content left his pink lips and a light shudder rippled over the feathers like a wave. "hmm," the god hummed and you took that as a sign to get a little more daring. next, you let the palm of your hand run over the expanse of his wings, drew lines along the single feathers, watched fascinated as the little baby feathers fluttered when met with your breath.
to ease your slightly uncomfortable position, you shuffled closer to him if that was even possible with the way he held you. you concentrated on his left wing with your caresses and eros encouraged you by lazily dragging it over so it was draped ontop of your entwined figures. admiring the sight before you, you gently rubbed your hand over the back of his wing and earned a little sigh from him. "they are beautiful," you whispered amazed as the wing shifted slightly under your touch.
"of course they are," eros muffled cockily into the pillow and you could hear the playful grin in his voice.
after a few minutes of gently caressing the tip and middle parts of his left wing, you moved to the base when you were startled by the utterly erotic groan coming from your lover. his arms tightened around you and his breath was hot against your neck. "go on, love."
"did you just get horny from that?" you asked, alarmed, and eros propped his head up enough to give you a deadpan look. taking it as the confirmation it was, you snorted surprised and lightly slapped his chest. "why would you get horny from that?"
eros seemed offended as he used his grip on your waist to roll you over so that he hovered over your body, barely covered by the sheets, with his wings forming a protective cocoon. a sly grin took over his face. "well, what did you expect, darling? I'm the god of horniness."
"you are impossible," you giggled and slapped his chest, and he gave you that boyish grin he had you obsessed with.
impossibly soft lips came down to kiss up your jaw to your ear. "did you have sweet dreams?" his hot breath against your earlobe made you shudder embarrassingly and he laughed. gods, why did everything he did and said have to be so seductive?
"y-yes." you cursed the light tremble in your voice. thankfully, your stomach growled loudly so you had an excuse to stop looking at the widening grin on your lover's face. "looks like I'm hungry. i'm making some pancakes, are you hungry too?"
"so hungry, my love," he sighed and you rolled your eyes when he buried his face in the crook of your neck. eros whined when you sat up, shook off his greedy arms and rose to your feet.
"pancakes before sex," you stated firmly, looking back at him to find him posed particularly sexily on the bed. He puckered his lips at you and crooked his head.
"come one. I'm sure there is a way to combine the two?"
#greek mythology#greek gods#greek gods x reader#greek mythology x reader#eros x goddess!reader#eros x goddess#eros x fem!reader#eros x you#eros fluff#eros imagine#eros x reader
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would justin bieber date you
for his pisces sun at 10th degree in 3rd house:
scorpio, cancer, capricorn, taurus, virgo suns / 7th house, 9th house, 11th house, 5th house, 8th house suns
*selena has a cancer sun*
for his libra moon at 24th degree in 11th house:
gemini, aquarius, leo, sagittarius, libra moons / 5th house, 7th house, 3rd house, 9th house, 11th house moons
*selena has her moon in 9th house / hailey has her moon in 5th house*
for his scorpio rising at 29th degree:
taurus, pisces, cancer, virgo, capricorn rising / venus, pluto, mars, moon, neptune in 1st house
*selena has her venus in 1st house*
for his aquarius mercury at 23rd degree in 3rd house:
gemini, libra, sagittarius, aries, aquarius mercuries / 9th house, 11th house, 3rd house, 1st house, 5th house mercuries
*selena has her mercury in 1st house / hailey has a sagittarius mercury*
for his pisces venus at 20th degree in 4th house:
scorpio, cancer, capricorn, taurus, virgo venuses / 7th house, 8th house, 12th house, 4th house, 5th house venuses
for his aquarius mars at 25th degree in 3rd house:
gemini, libra, sagittarius, aries, aquarius mars / 9th house, 11th house, 3rd house, 1st house, 5th house mars
*hailey has her mars in 9th house*
5th house: aries sun/mars, scorpio sun/mars, leo venus, sagittarius venus, aquarius moon/rising, libra moon/rising, 5th house venus/mars, 8th house venus/mars, fire lilith/eros (aries, leo, sagittarius)
*selena has a leo venus / hailey has a leo lilith & sagittarius eros*
aries in 5th: brings intense passion, independence, and a love for thrilling romance to their approach as a lover. justin is bold and fiery, often initiating and leading in relationships with a spark that lights up his partner’s life. he thrive on excitement, creative expression, and raw honesty, and he are drawn to relationships that challenge and intrigue him. lilith in the 5th house adds a seductive, rebellious edge, making him magnetic and irresistible; he seek a partner who isn’t intimidated by his power but instead embraces his intensity and is equally unafraid of exploring uncharted territory in love. with ceres here, he also has a deeply nurturing side, desiring a partner who values care and mutual support while still allowing freedom. eros amplifies his sensuality, creating a dynamic, passionate connection where desire and emotional depth go hand in hand.
5th house ruler in 3rd: spontaneous day trips, late-night talks, fun competitions, inside jokes & banter, learning together, “partners in crime”, best friends who flirt constantly, “intellectual rivals turned lovers”
lilith in 5th house: justin seeks a lover who embodies unapologetic self-expression, intensity, and a magnetic, rebellious spirit. he's drawn to partners who embrace their own desires without fear, igniting both passion and creativity in the relationship. together, they want a love that feels thrilling, raw, and truly liberating. bold, intense, unconventional, passionate, fearless
ceres in 5th house: justin seeks a lover who embodies nurturing qualities and values emotional connection in romantic playfulness. he are drawn to partners who can provide a sense of security and comfort while embracing fun and creativity in their relationship. together, they desire a bond that fosters growth, affection, and shared joy through shared experiences. nurturing, supportive, playful, affectionate, growth-oriented
eros in 5th house: justin seeks a lover who ignites their passion and inspires creativity through playfulness and spontaneity. he are drawn to partners who can embrace their desires openly and share in adventurous experiences that heighten sensuality and joy. together, they desire a relationship filled with romance, excitement, and a sense of fun that keeps the flame alive. passionate, playful, adventurous, creative, sensual
7th house: taurus sun/moon/venus, capricorn sun/moon/venus, cancer mars, pisces mars, virgo venus, libra venus, scorpio rising, taurus rising, 4th house moon/venus, 7th house moon/venus
*hailey has a libra venus*
taurus in 7th: he is a lover who values loyalty, stability, and a sensual, grounded approach to relationships. justin seeks a deep, enduring bond and isn’t interested in fleeting connections. with taurus ruling his house of partnerships, he is patient, committed, and incredibly supportive, often placing his partner’s comfort and well-being above all. he crave a secure, peaceful relationship filled with affection, shared values, and a touch of luxury—he want to create a life together that is both beautiful and meaningful. taurus 7th house natives are typically attracted to partners who are reliable, attentive, and able to appreciate life’s simple pleasures, from shared meals to quiet nights in. physical touch and quality time are his primary love languages, and he seek someone who shares this need for closeness and consistency.
7th ruler in 4th: cozy nights in, decorating or creating a home together, weekend farmers’ market dates, building traditions, home-cooked meals & slow dancing in the kitchen, “love you like home”, “old-soul romance”, “the sweet domestic life”, “slow-burn romance”
8th house: scorpio sun/moon/venus, taurus sun/moon/venus, cancer mars, capricorn mars, pisces venus, virgo venus, water moon (cancer, scorpio, pisces), water rising (cancer, scorpio, pisces), 8th house venus/mars, 4th house venus/mars
taurus in 8th: he is a lover who is deeply sensual, loyal, and drawn to intense, transformative relationships. justin seeks a bond that goes beyond surface-level attraction, desiring emotional depth, trust, and shared values that form the foundation of a truly profound connection. stability and loyalty are his core values, and he may be resistant to change until they feel a soulmate-level connection—often triggered by fateful, life-changing encounters indicated by the vertex. he crave a partnership that brings both comfort and transformative growth, allowing him to explore the complexities of intimacy and vulnerability in a safe, secure space. with taurus’s earthy sensuality and the 8th house’s deep magnetism, they are both alluring and grounded, drawing in partners who are willing to explore their own emotional depths and share in life’s more private, intimate moments.
8th house ruler in 4th: building a cozy sanctuary together, soul-baring conversations over candlelight, gardening & tending to plants, collecting or curating a space together, quiet intimate rituals, “our little world”, “two souls, one home”, “healers in love”, “secret romance”
vertex in 8th: justin seeks a lover who embodies deep emotional intensity and transformative experiences. he are drawn to partners who can navigate the complexities of intimacy and vulnerability, creating a powerful connection that feels fated or destined. together, they desire a relationship that challenges them, promotes growth, and unlocks hidden depths of passion and trust. intense, transformative, fated, vulnerable, passionate
take with a grain of salt plz :) but would he date you ? hehe
all observations are done by me !!! @pearlprincess02
celeb's masterlist
main masterlist
#justin bieber#justin drew bieber#astrology#astro notes#astro observations#astro community#astrology observations#astro tumblr#astrology notes#astroblr#astrology compatibility#astro placements#water signs#water placements#earth signs#earth placements
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A pun is a figure of language that depends on similarity of sound and disparity of meaning. It matches two sounds that fit perfectly together as aural shapes yet stand insistently, provocatively apart in sense. You perceive homophony and at the same time see the semantic space that separates the two words. Sameness is projected onto difference in a kind of stereoscopy. There is something irresistible in that. Puns appear in all literatures, are apparently as old as language and unfailingly fascinate us. Why? If we had the answer to this question we would know more clearly what the lover is searching for as he moves and reasons through the borderlands of his desire. We do not yet have an answer. Nonetheless we should pay attention to the punning character of the lover’s logic: its structure and its irresistibility have something important to tell us about desire, and about the lover’s search. We have seen how Sokrates makes use of punning language to slip from one sense of oikeios (‘kindred’) to another sense (‘mine’) when in the Lysis he is discussing eros as lack. Sokrates makes no attempt to conceal his wordplay here; indeed, he draws attention to it with an uncommon grammatical usage. He deliberately mixes up reciprocal and reflexive pronouns when he addresses the two philoi, Lysis and Menexenos. That is, when he says to them “… you belong to one another” (221e6) he uses a word for ‘one another’ that more commonly means ‘yourselves’ (hautois).* Sokrates is playing, through words, upon the desires of the young lovers before him. Mix-up of self and other is much more easily achieved in language than in life, but somewhat the same effrontery is involved. Like eros, puns flout the edges of things. Their power to allure and alarm derives from this. Within a pun you see the possibility of grasping a better truth, a truer meaning, than is available from the separate senses of either word. But the glimpse of that enhanced meaning, which flashes past in a pun, is a painful thing. For it is inseparable from your conviction of its impossibility. Words do have edges. So do you.
this section made me genuinely sick to read through before /COMPLIMENT
*directly preceding section that lays out this passage more, cut for fucking length of her paragraphs:
It seems impossible to talk or reason about erotic lack without falling into this punning language. Consider, for example, Plato’s Lysis. In this dialogue Sokrates is attempting to define the Greek word philos, which means both ‘loving’ and ‘loved,’ both ‘friendly’ and ‘dear.’ He takes up the question whether the desire to love or befriend something is ever separable from lack of it. His interlocutors are led to acknowledge that all desire is longing for that which properly belongs to the desirer but has been lost or taken away somehow—no one says how (221e-22a). Puns flash as the reasoning quickens. This part of the discussion depends upon an adroit use of the Greek word oikeios, which means both ‘suitable, related, akin to myself’ and ‘belonging to me, properly mine.’ So Sokrates addresses the two boys who are his interlocutors and says: … Τοῦ οἰκείου δή, ὡς ἔοικεν, ὅ τε ἔρως καὶ ἡ φιλία καὶ ἡ ἐπιθυμία τυγχάνει οὖσα, ὡς φαίνεται, ὧ Μενέξενέ τε καὶ Λύσι.—Συνεφάτην.—Ὑμεῖς ἄρα εἰ φίλοι ἐστὸν ἀλλήλοις, φύσει πη οἰκεῖοί ἐσθ᾽ ὑμῖν αὐτοῖς. … Desire and love and longing are directed at that which is akin to oneself [tou oikeiou], it seems. So if you two are loving friends [philoi] of one another then in some natural way you belong to one another [oikeioi esth’]. (221e) It is profoundly unjust of Sokrates to slip from one meaning of oikeios to another, as if it were the same thing to recognize in someone else a kindred soul and to claim that soul as your own possession, as if it were perfectly acceptable in love to blur the distinction between yourself and the one you love. All the lover’s reasoning and hopes of happiness are built upon this injustice, this claim, this blurred distinction. So his thought process is continually moving and searching through the borderland of language where puns occur. What is the lover searching for there?
#SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [shoass takagin reflected lines about being sick voice] SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! absolutely sick to hear about and think about#PROFOUNDLY UNJUST!!!!! as if it were the same thing as if it were perfectly acceptable in love. violence done upon me this fucking book#jr readings
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Truth is, I want you to be safe, want you to sleep so I can sleep.
Sam Cheuk, Postscripts from a City Burning; “11/06/19 (2)”
#literature#poetry#sam cheuk#postscripts from a city burning#lovers at the edge of eros#tender‚ delicate#our human wants#canadian lit#m#x
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OKAY! You asked for it ahah.
So this is, as always, a combo of what I think they actually smell like, and then I go looking for those notes, and go by vibes. I have these in mind for all my Blorbot Prime, and most second tier characters as well. I've smelled every one of the perfumes I've put on these ladies, with the exception of one, which will be pretty obvious why when I talk about it.
Minako. So I always think of her as smelling like peaches, which is rough in the perfume world, because, most perfume is made of of what's called absolutes, think of these as like, the building blocks of a perfume, and there is no such thing as a peach absolute. So, I love rose, and there is more than one rose absolute, so this is pretty easy. Peach, you mostly have to go off something that suggests peach to your nose. For a long time I had her in Bitter Peach by Tom Ford, but a couple months ago I smelled:
Oh Ma Biche by Lolita Lempicka and this is the one. It invokes the scent of a bellini, which is perfect because it pulls in that peachiness without being oversweet, because it doesn't have vanilla in the structure of it. It has that vaguely intoxicating, light quality, so it smells more of like what I think of when I think of Mina, that juicy sweetness but it's edged with something you can't quite pin down (and she likes it that way)
Michiru. I will never smell Michiru's perfume because we all know she has a house in paris mix it for her custom. This is a thing that absolutely exists, if you have a great deal of money. I put her in rose and white florals (like jasmine) with a classic and old school musk and vetiver base, maybe with a light dosing of wine lees. I think it would smell very classic or old, depending on your point of view. Don't get me wrong, I do want this perfume. There's two or three I've layered to get an IDEA of it, but I've never found one perfume I think made it up.
Rei as we all know, is in actuality too fucking cheap to buy perfume, and if she wears any at all, it's a dupe, but in my world that's not any fun, so let's pick out what she likes enough to have someone buy her. I see deep, commanding notes for her, I actually think she would wear ~Men's perfume~* some of the time especially when she was convinced she needed to be a Boardroom Broad and I don't think Rei is immune to some fucked up ideas about power and gender ANYWAY. For most times:
Ebene Fume by Tom Ford. I think this choice is a little boring (full disclosure: I own a decant of this perfume and really do love it) in that it's Tom fucking Ford and everyone has heard of it, but I think I'm going a bit xkcd comic on that one, if you know what I mean. But it's smoky and deep and powerful, it's like a men's perfume with softer edge to it. It's also a great night perfume, which is when I think she would mostly wear it, and it doesn't have any sweetness to it, really.
Haruka. Going outside the idea of Michiru having a perfume made for her, which I believe she would, let's talk about what I think she would buy for herself (and also a defense of the perfume I'm about to mention)
Dior Sauvage. This one is so common that even non-perfume people have heard of it. Do you know why? It smells good on almost fucking everyone. There's so much snooty ass disdain for this perfume in the weird world of perfume lovers, but honestly? This and Versace Eros are the two I recommend for folks wanting a masc-leaning perfume. (I also like to wear it, especially when I'm hyperfemme) It just smells good on people. It is so well crafted that it is mass appealing. Whenever we have men going, "What perfume can I buy that women love" they're so annoyed when I say "Dior Sauvage" but whenever I crack out the suit and wear this with it, a woman always asks me what my cologne** is. Haruka would smell amazing in it, and she would get compliments from women, and that would reineforce the behavior.
OKAY WELL SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT
*all perfume is gender neutral if you're not a little bitch about it. Women wearing men's perfume is not super duper uncommon, but men should really throw on a floral sometimes, but of course going toward masculinity is understandable, going toward femininity is weak blah blah blah you're all so fucking boring.
**Cologne is not just "men's perfume" it's a whole other category this post is long enough and I've spent too much time on it already and you are tired of reading it but please know this
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When I desire you, a part of me is gone: my want of you partakes of me. So reasons the lover at the edge of eros. The presence of want awakens in him nostalgia for wholeness. His thoughts turn toward questions of personal identity: he must recover and reincorporate what is gone if he is to be a complete person.
— Anne Carson, Eros the Bittersweet
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hi there!
I’ve just ran into your blog and read some of your work and girl you’re so good at writing😭😭
if it doesn’t bother you,would you mind writing a fluff about kokushiboxplus sized F!reader?
where his little human feels insecure about her body and he tries to comfort her as much as he can
˖ ࣪⭑ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖
₊‧.°.⋆˚₊‧⋆.
kokushibo x plus size! f! reader
cw: insecure thoughts, fluff
₊‧.°.⋆˚₊‧⋆.
it was dark in your cluttered bathroom, only a drop of the moon lit the tiles and water you laid in - you hated baths, especially ones without scented bubbles, though this was an fiery exception. gripping the slippery edges of the ceramic, you looked down at the water to see what it was showing you. with an empty mind, you saw soft curves and skin, a belly pressing against the top of your thighs and plump breasts heaving with your slow breaths. closing your eyes, you pictured the blood flowing through your veins, your heart beating, every single cell in the universe of your body like a planet. as fascinating as the functions of your body are, you wonder why it can't be enough that it keeps you alive. why are you expected to eat nine hundred calories a day and starve, while eating habits represent how much one enjoys life? why starve off of joy for beauty?
"(y/n), what are you doing here so late?"
'beauty' is 'justice', as many say. the eros of a woman in her prime. every woman not conforming to 'beauty' is to be exiled and hated. what a shallow thing to believe, but oh how much you hate looking at yourself. in every glimpse something's wrong - a mole too much, a finger too crooked, a face too asymmetrical.
"(y/n?)" kokushibo's voice flowed over you and for the first time, you notice the warmth of the water. he was kneeling on the floor with a concerned expression, his hands formally placed on his lap, as he studied you. 'have you ever thought of me as ugly? ' an uncomfortable question burned at the back of your mind, as you looked back at him with a little, nervous smile. "I felt like having a bath." his shoulders slumped in relief, a short chuckle bubbled up his throat and a twinkle of amusement glittered in his eyes. you wonder if he even thought of beauty at all.
"do you think I'm pretty?" you asked suddenly, surprised by the anxious tone of your voice. trailing your gaze over to your body once again, the question felt stupid. there was a little shuffle of kokushibo moving closer, he grabbed your wet hand on top of the tub. "you're beautiful." he answered, feeling his thumb brush over your fingers lightly, you sighed heavily. "does it even matter at all?" your mumble was barely audible, nevertheless you could tell he was thinking of a way to reply. honestly, you weren't even sure if you wanted to hear it, fearing your boyfriend's response won't make your dilemma go away. "humans will always find something new and gruesome to call beautiful, it's dim-witted. how's somebody's suffering considered a standard?", humming at his answer, you felt kokushibo's hand cupping your cheek. "I find life itself to be beautiful. old ladies, cats and endless childhood summers."
the moon kissed his hair and skin while he scrunched his nose in a little laugh, he went on to add that his childhood was a bit complicated regardless. as your lover talked and giggled explaining his view, you started to understand what he meant, not even listening fully. from the way he gestured with his hands or his voice almost sounded hoarse sometimes, even his lovely hooked nose.
it's not about fitting in at all. with all this love, you couldn't be more beautiful.
#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kny x reader#kny#kny oneshots#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kimetsu no yaiba oneshot#demon slayer kokushibo#kny kokushibo#demon slayer oneshots#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x y/n#kimetsu no yaiba kokushibo#kokushibo x reader#kokushibo#demon slayer fluff#kokushibo fluff
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NaPoWriMo Prompts II
Hello everybody!
Seeing as how much you all liked my prompt list from last year, here's another set of prompts for this years NaPoWriMo! Like last year, they can not only be used for poetry, but also for prose or even scenes from your WIP.
As always, you can tag me on @betweenthetimeandsound, and then I can read your works and reblog them.
woman in gold
underripe figs
a cedar tree on fire
Persephone's revenge
you entered my soul
"The role of the lover is exactly the same as the role of the artist."
lila Ramonda
a severed hand holds a rose
gracelessness
dying in a secret garden
the betrayer
shameful tattoos
refrain thy voice from weeping
Eros and Psyche
pomegranate heart
if i had your face
decadence
seaweed and pearls
heaven's not for saints
undisclosed desires
unholy oud
coronation
dimmed hopes
Babylon
drunk lovers
holding a sparrow
on a knife's edge
metallic
an impossible itch
"only she knows your truth"
#napowrimo#poetry#poets on tumblr#poetry on tumblr#writing prompts#my prompts#prompts#november#writeblr#creative writing#writeblrcafe#poetry prompts
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The Sacred Band of Thebes (Ancient Greek: Ἱερός Λόχος, Hierós Lókhos) was a troop of select soldiers, consisting of 150 pairs of male lovers which formed the elite force of the Theban army in the 4th century BC, ending Spartan domination. Its predominance began with its crucial role in the Battle of Leuctra in 371 BC. It was annihilated by Philip II of Macedon in the Battle of Chaeronea in 338 BC.
According to Plutarch, the 300 hand-picked men were chosen by Gorgidas purely for ability and merit, regardless of social class. It was composed of 150 male couples, each pair consisting of an older erastês (ἐραστής, "lover") and a younger erômenos (ἐρώμενος, "beloved"). Athenaeus of Naucratis also records the Sacred Band as being composed of "lovers and their favorites, thus indicating the dignity of the god Eros in that they embrace a glorious death in preference to a dishonorable and reprehensible life", while Polyaenus describes the Sacred Band as being composed of men "devoted to each other by mutual obligations of love".
Defeat came at the Battle of Chaeronea (338 BC), the decisive contest in which Philip II of Macedon, with his son Alexander the Great, extinguished Theban hegemony. The battle is the culmination of Philip's campaign into central Greece in preparation for a war against Persia. It was fought between the Macedonians and their allies and an alliance of Greek city-states led by Athens and Thebes. Diodorus records that the numbers involved for the two armies were more or less equal, both having around 30,000 men and 2,000 cavalry.
The traditional hoplite infantry was no match for the novel long-speared Macedonian phalanx: the Theban army and its allies broke and fled, but the Sacred Band, although surrounded and overwhelmed, refused to surrender. The Thebans of the Sacred Band held their ground and Plutarch records that all 300 fell where they stood beside their last commander, Theagenes. Their defeat at the battle was a significant victory for Philip, since until then, the Sacred Band was regarded as invincible throughout all of Ancient Greece. Plutarch records that Philip II, on encountering the corpses "heaped one upon another", understanding who they were, wept and exclaimed,
Perish any man who suspects that these men either did or suffered anything unseemly.
— Plutarch, Pelopidas 18
Pausanias in his Description of Greece mentions that the Thebans had erected a gigantic statue of a lion near the village of Chaeronia surmounting the tomb of the Thebans killed in battle against Philip.
In 1818, a British architect named George Ledwell Taylor spent a summer in Greece with two friends at Livadeia. On June 3, they decided to go horseback riding to the nearby village of Chaeronea using Pausanias' Description of Greece as a guidebook. Two hours away from the village, Taylor's horse momentarily stumbled on a piece of marble jutting from the ground. Looking back at the rock, he was struck by its appearance of being sculpted and called for their party to stop. They dismounted and dug at it with their riding-whips, ascertaining that it was indeed sculpture. They enlisted the help of some nearby farmers until they finally uncovered the massive head of a stone lion which they recognized as the same lion mentioned by Pausanias. Parts of the statue had broken off and a good deal of it still remained buried. It was later pieced back together in 1902 after obtaining permission from the Greek government.
In the late 19th century, excavations in the area revealed that the monument stood at the edge of a quadrangular enclosure. The skeletons of 254 men laid out in seven rows were found buried within it. A tumulus near the monument was also identified as the site of the Macedonian polyandrion where the Macedonian dead were cremated. Excavation of the tumulus between 1902 and 1903 by the archeologist Georgios Soteriades confirmed this. At the center of the mound, about 22 ft (6.7 m) deep, was a layer of ashes, charred logs, and bones about 0.75 m (2.5 ft) thick. Recovered among these were vases and coins dated to the 4th century BC. Swords and remarkably long spearheads measuring about 15 in (38 cm) were also discovered, which Soteriades identified as the Macedonian sarissas.
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Hello!!👋👋 I was wondering if you could write about something with Andrey& a reader? Just from his character I feel he’d be sort of conflicted about loving another person that isn’t Peter. But that’s just what I’ve gathered from playing, I would love to hear your thoughts on this! I also wouldn’t mind a little smut, only if you want that is.
Andrey Stamatin x reader headcanons
[Fluff, Romance, Slight Angst, Smut, Feelings of conflict, GN Reader]
Falling in love
Many people in this world never get to experience love through the entirety of their life.
Not true love, not really.
Doeant matter what kind, agape, eros, philia, philautia, storge, and xenia.
Not once were they granted mercy by the gods
Even the ones born with loving families are bound to grow up eventually, to spend the remaining of their miserable existence seeking a resembling of that graden in another's arms
They fail
They always fail
Is what Andrey genuinely believed
He only has his brother in this life, and his brother only has him
Clinging to each other amidst the storm, sleeping next to each other in the same bed to drive away the whispering abyss of despair, lifting each other up when one of them tiptoes too close to the edge of life, mesmerised by the promises of comfort death gave
It was unhealthy, he isn't blind
But the healthy and sane could never claim to have created miracles like these two twins
Andrey was convinced that he would never come to loving another the same.
He would steal the moon, would Peter ever ask for it.
Many lovers came and went, men and women alike
Passing through him like ripples through water, never breaking the tension of his surface, never disrupting what sharks lurked below.
Never lasting
He should consider himself lucky for having learned what love is at all, for having felt it
Maybe that's why you shook his world so much
He knew exactly what the burning in his heart meant when you smiled his way
Akin to a whirlpool emerging from below the waves, a vortex reaching deep into the floor of his ocean
To say he was conflicted was the understatement of the century
During some sleepless nights, the ache in his chest was bordering unbearable.
stronger than any withdrawal he went through, what a sin it felt not to look your way across the street as you walked by. Not to gaze upon your face every day
He toyed most with the idea of killing you during those nights
At the end of the day, you were just a flesh bag of meat and bones
A collection of multitudes of bacterial micro-bioms
One bullet is all that it would take.
To end this misery, to scare off the unkown.
To wallow in the comfort of the familiar and mundane like a pig in the mud
He was disgusted with himself, when did he hold such regressive views? When did he ever shy away from the danger of the new?
Enough was enough, he decided to face these feelings headon no matter how terrifying they felt.
No matter how painfully his organs twisted around themselves as if he was betrayiny his oath to Peter for simply loving you
But Andrey knew he would lose all the respect he held for himself if he continued choosing to be a coward
Hiding away was never his style
He'll sail directly into the thunderstorm, choke for air as his eyes burned from the salty ocean waters.
He'd rather surrender his body to the ruthless waves than end up some lost soul on a shore, knowing he was at the edge of witnessing once in a life time greatness but let something as pathetic as fear cloud his judgement.
It didn't go smoothly, confessing to you in a rather blunt apathetic way.
He is used to people crawling for crumbs of his attention, not the other way around.
But he doesn't give up, even when he makes an embarrasment of himself.
That one time, he wanted to buy you a drink, but the glass ended up shattering on the bar's wooden floor when your hand touched his own as he was handing it to you.
It's weird. He feels like he is acting out of character, this doesn't feel like him.
But he has never felt more himself than when he looked at his reflection in your eyes.
He tries to look intimidating, he is dangerous goddammit
...So why do soft laughs come so easily to you when in his company?
Why are you innocent brushes against his shoulder while walking together so electric?
Why can't he stop thinking of you even in a room full of people desperate for his approval
Why aren't you afraid? You should be.
....
But he is content that you aren't.
He will never say it.
But it was a huge burden off of his shoulder for you to do all the heavy lifting when it came to looking past his draped veils of ruthless facades
Ever since loving you, life started feeling anew
Emotions blossoming between his lungs, the hours are longer, the sun burns more brightly as the curtains of dusk fall down.
And his world isn't ending just because he loved another
You surprisingly get along with Peter, very few people in this world ever do. His brother can understand what Andrey saw in you.
The meaning was clear.
Go for it.
Many people in this world never get to experience love through the entirety of their life.
Not true love, not really.
How lucky was Andrey to experience it twice.
♧
Smut Headcanons
[ Dom Andrey/ Sub Reader. Riding, Spitting, Drug-use, Peircing, Exhibition ]
Andrey has a lifetime of sexual experience. He could fill a thousand books.
He could write a hundred reviews for every risqué club which has a reservation under his name.
He tried everything at least twice just to figure out where his preferences laid
Is more than open to experimentation with you
No matter how niche or bizarre your kinks might get, Andrey skimmed over a manual mentioning it in some Captial sex club in the past
He's not deluded with the glamorised version of sex most people tend to hold. If anything, he prefers the stark reality.
The sweat, the groans and the body hair. He lives for something real, someone unsure slowly becoming more comfortable and confident until they let themselves succumb to the pleasure unapologetically
His own kinks vary, it seems like a game of roulette with him which thing will turn him on this time around
But he tends to fall on the dominant controlling end as a habit
Especially loves it when he gets to show off in front of you, almost a form of ritual how he likes to manhandle you in bed
Picking you up just to flip you over so you can look him in the eyes while he eats you out. Teeth grazing over your clit just to watch your thighs shake and twitch.
Digging his nails at the inside of your thighs as he sucks your cock, teasingly licking the head until you're begging to have his warm mouth back on it.
Making you kiss him afterwards and get a taste of your own cum, taunting you with the evidence of your pleasure
Having you sit on his lap all pretty as he lazily rocks his leg to grind against your crotch
One thumb tracing your lips, enjoying the glazed over look of lust in your eyes. The lights are on but no one is home, he can do anything to you and the fact you'd let him feeds his ego like no other.
Pulling you into a kiss as his knee presses harder between your legs, having you squirming on his lap while he makes you swallow his spit in your mouth
The power you let him hold over you is dangerously addicting
He adores it when you leave marks on him, especially with the way he casually walks around with his chest bare for all to see.
For them to stand witness to the hickeys you left littering his neck, to the scratches of your nails down his back.
If you happen to wear lipstick, he will have you on your knees in front of him. Worshipping his cock and leaving kiss marks along his length before moving upwards to his his stomach, chest and finally face.
Wears the smeared makeup marks with pride, especially with the suggestive trail disappearing just below his pants
It's clear he has a preference for the foreplay and theatrics, enjoying them even more than the actual act at times.
Doesn't shy away from using drugs and other stimulants before it, he claims it enhances his experience.
Will offer to share, promising that even just a small drink beforehand will have you experiencing feelings like no other.
But he's not insistant if you decline, he shrugs and doesn't mention it.
Andrey would find it insanely hot if you ever happened to get a piercing, the more inappropriate the are the more lightheaded he gets.
He'd even personally commission you jewellery for them
Flicking the dangling chain from the barbells going through your nipples, watching your body jump as pain twists into pleasure the more he toys with them.
You could very easily convince him into getting one too.
His favourite position would be a one with you riding him, be it his face or cock. Having you on top while he holds all the power below just clicks with his brain right.
Not to mention the great show he gets from watching you bounce up and down, struggling to fit all of him while your thighs are getting cramped from the restless movement.
Begging with your eyes for him to help, whining as you can't get his cock to rub inside you just like Andrey does.
He liked reminding you of how much you're dependent on him for pleasure, of how much he has you spoiled rotten.
No one will ever fuck you like he does, you belong to him body and soul.
Even you can't bring yourself pleasure like he does.
You need him, don't you?
Ask for it.
For him to pick you up and slam his cock into you just right, to stretch your insides and fill you up.
To have your brain turning into mush with each thrust, have you crying into his shoulder from how much it feels too much, too good.
As much as he likes finishing inside, the view of your naked body covered with his cum is too irresistible.
Sending you over the edge before pulling out and rubbing himself at the view of your spasming body mid-climax
Strands of cum falling against your thighs. Painting your stomach and even reaching your chest.
Warm and sticky against your skin
You feel the head of his cock brushing your lips, a silent order to take the thing in your mouth and clean it.
In the aftermath, you're wrapped inside a soft blanket, fresh out of the shower as you drift off to sleep on top of his chest.
You feel his fingers moving against your back, drawing circles and sketching diagrams while his mind turns.
Newborn inventions getting scrapped before they make it into fully fledged ideas.
By the end, he wraps his arms around you as he pulls you tighter into his embrace.
As if he's afraid to lose you, to wake up in the morning with empty hands.
#♧Andrey#andrey stamatin#Andrey stamatin x reader#pathologic x reader#pathologic#♧smut#smut#♧fluff#fluff#x reader#♧x reader#gn reader#pathologic smut
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Mr. Loverman
Gojo Satoru x Geto Suguru (SatoSugu)
‘I'm headed straight for the floor
The alcohol served its tour
And it's headed straight for my skin
Leaving me daft and dim’
the memories of yore keep haunting me– mnemosyne uttered a single word as it flashes in my mind, our moments of those yesterday when we were happy, carefree, and young. we never dared to think about our tomorrow as we didn't knew that a slight occurrence would change the rotation of the spindle of the thread of fate.
eris dropped the golden apple as the discord soon came after, the rift that was put in between us could have been restored– however, i didn't notice that you were getting further. the harmonious melody shifted into a cacophony– it was heavy, loud, and noisy, a series of sounds that i did not recognize, and it was painful to hear– the distortion that it created caused turbulence amongst us.
‘I've got this shake in my legs
Shaking the thoughts from my head
But who put these waves in the door?
I crack and out I pour’
i have received the news about you– how could you do something like that? how about me? how about us? did it go over your head, suguru? did it make you lose your mind? was i not enough for you?
‘I'm Mr. Loverman
And I miss my lover, man
I'm Mr. Loverman
Oh, and I miss my lover’
these feelings that i hold for you– holding the arrow that eros had shot through my heart, aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. she bestowed upon me, beauty and an empty void of love. i have beauty but at what cost? i am the honored one yet i wasn't important enough to change your mind. i am the strongest sorcerer but never in terms of your love.
‘The ways in which you talk to me
Have me wishin' I were gone
The ways that you say my name
Have me runnin' on and on’
that day we met again after years of parting, you called me by my name. it made my heart leap with joy– a tint of sadness can be seen as we are both standing on the edges, representing each sides— reminding me of we cannot go back to the way it was before. however, i have a duty to protect the people, they are relying on me— such emotions cannot be shown and should be concealed. i have a reputation to uphold.
‘Oh, I'm cramping up
I'm cramping up
But you're cracking up
You're cracking up’
oh the painful yearning that i am feeling towards you, it slowly drains me on the inside.
'I've shattered now, I'm spilling out
Upon this linoleum ground (Mr. Loverman)
I'm reeling in my brain again
Before it can get back to you (Mr. Loverman)
Oh what am I supposed to do without you?'
these emotions are slowly getting passed through the poorly made cage that i have built to imprison these feelings, your mere existence destroys everything that i have done to get it all under control.
as i rushed towards you, I can't help but wonder, “am i doing the right thing?” i am standing in front of your dying body— being a part of your last moments. reminiscing those memories of us, together. i stared at you as you smiled at me, clutching your bleeding shoulder.
“satoru, to think that you'd be the one here at my end.” geto stated.
i'll always be with you, in the beginning, in the middle, and in the end even though we're enemies on the last page of our story.
‘I'm Mr. Loverman
And I miss my lover, man (I miss my lover)
I'm Mr. Loverman (oh-oh)
Oh, and I miss my lover (Mr. Loverman)’
“trust? i didn't think i still had any of that left.”
the events messed up with your rationality as society and this entire industry changed your entire being with its fucked up system— traumatizing you wholly.
“i hate those monkeys but i never held hatred for those in jujutsu high.”
i didn't hated you either, i kept on loving and loving you— my love for you became stronger than before.
'I'm Mr. Loverman (oh-oh)
And I miss my loverman
I'm Mr. Loverman
And I miss my lover’
”i love you, suguru. i'll miss you.” i confessed to him as his mouth widened for a moment, it turned into a laughter and shifted into a smile.
“at least hit me with some curses at my end.” he replied, still chuckling as his motion slowly stopped— indicating that he is forever gone in my life.
he was my lover, man.
right person, wrong time, not enough time.
but i have never regretted any of it.
it was magical, enchanted, saddening, difficult, and many burst of emotions.
i'll miss all of those especially my lover.
#jjk oneshot#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen geto#jjk satosugu#jjk satoru#jjk geto#geto suguru#jujutsu geto#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jujutsu kaisen satoru#jujutsu kaisen suguru#satosugu#jjk angst#jujutsu kaisen oneshot
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Look at Me
Darling, to be perceived
Ain't that the biggest price you pay
For being able to see?
To taste the light that leaves from your skin
Oh! what a sin. Oh, what a sin!
I know how my face, what an awful visage
To behold, withhold,
In my eyes, a tragedy foretold
Worth putting on a blindfold
But the first time that you saw me
unknown, alone and underground
Some part of me began to break, escape
In search of the same melody
A melancholy of solace
…..
And when your soul melds into mine
Your giggles at the funeral, my knack for refusal
Too sweet, at times too much brine
In my laughter, see your humour shine
Won't you look at me baby?
Won't you look at me baby?
Won't you look at me baby?
Would you look at you, baby?
…..
Oh, to be loved, is to be seen
Yet, lover, I'd be
blind and beloved, to your Medusa
I'd become the screen, embracin’
The shadows you love to dwell in
I'd write this song
into the inside of your eyelids
Never to be seen again, Never to be heard
Never to exist outside, for anyone third
And I'd whisper into your ears, horny Hozier lines
Run away with you, from the Dinner and Diatribes
To roam around the woods we could end up dead inside
Watching Eros arise, all inhibition untied
……
If you find out one day, that I was the Mastermind
Thread of the fates that I intertwined
This perfect love story that I designed
Would you go back to change it all
Would you look at me babe?
Would you look at me baby
Would you look at me baby?
Would you look at me again?
…….
Oh but to love someone who bleeds in blue
I'm so sorry to have made one out of you
It's a curse, my love, an abomination
A calamity in the name of creation
Born of rage, forged by tears
Of solitude desire and despair
It's a wicked thing, Honey,
Don't heed its call
Don't feed it, it will devour
honey, it will devour
Best untamed, Better unnamed
Crawling up my spine, this art I call mine
It knows the worst of all my days
Only the worst of all my ways
Only the worst
Of all my ways
…..
And when the debt that is love has reached its filling
Every dead version of me, tired of its killing
When the kindness in me has reached its billing
Would you still look at me, babe?
Won't you look at me, baby?
Won't you look at me, baby?
Won't you look at me, baby?
Why'd you look at me, baby?
……
When all is said and done,
Our undead youth, alive and returned
No plan left for us, but to ravish this skin
As close to ashes as it can come
When my ink has dried from years of treachery
No words left in me, no worship, no faith, no fury
Your secrets in my heart, are all that I now contain
Love in my skin, from your kisses that remain
When I am but an echo of what I used to be
all around us now, only ghosts of me
Remind me again, of our love story
Lover, could you be good to me?
Lover, be good to me.
At the edge of the storm, the ninth circle of hell
What little left of me, for which you really fell
What are we anymore, you could never tell
Would you still look at me, babe?
Won't you look at me, baby?
Won't you look at me, baby?
Won't you look at me, baby?
I hope you would.
#andrew hozier byrne#hozier#unreal unearth#first time#Francesca#poems on tumblr#poetry#original poem#talk#artists on tumblr#why would you be loved#dinner and diatribes#I know this is very hozier-esq#thats what I was aiming to do in the first place#please dont come at me calling it a cheap copy or something#constructive criticism is appreciated#would love to yap about it more in the dms#this was an anniversary gift for my partner teehee 😎#I really want to make it into a song but I have like zero knowledge of music#if anyone is interested please dm tho
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