#love you lots jules 💓💓

[allineedisabook-18]

Happy birthday @bookishjules hope you have the most wonderful day and sending you all my love xxxx

[pavardscherie]

Hiii lovely 💓

Could you write something for Jules kounde? I love your writing sooo much tyy

dusk till dawn, jules kounde

pairing jules kounde & female summary: moving to barcelona with her boyfriend was easy. leaving the world she had in france behind, was the hardest part. and she truly feels alone more than just a couple of days.

izzy talks: love love love bringing in new football players! don't get me wrong benji pavard is high class, he can have me anywhere and anytime. just like goretzka & kimmich, or a couple of others. but i love a challenge. and a big thank you for reading! <3 for this one, just imagine, fc sevilla wasn't a spot where he played between the french team and the moving to barca, please!

staring in the floor length mirror, she did not recognize the reflection anymore. dark bags underneath the eyes, eyebrows almost invisible from the light colour her hair usually has. strands thrown into a messy bun on top of her head, falling out in each direction and resembling a bird nest more than an actual hairstyle.

almost three months ago, she decided to move with jules to barcelona, instead of seeing him only once a month. leaving seemed easy, but the marks were clearly visible on her after time passed. she missed bringing a friend home, having late night talks with her mother about how great jules has been to her, and the evenings at the pubs with her girlfriend group.

yet, she left it all behind to be with the love of her life. it was beautiful in spain, she adored the sunny weather, and the warm breeze of the wind. she wanted to visit the beach, but over the past seven weeks, she never found a friend fitting to her personality. a new town, new neighbours, no connections.

shaking the head to get the negative thoughts out of her head, she made her way out of the bedroom, towards the staircase and straight into the open kitchen area. it was almost evening, jules should be home any minute from another training session. almost every day of the week, he had to leave for hours, which made it a lot harder to settle in. yet, she understood how important this chance was for him.

she has never interfered in his dreams, and it definitely would not start today. brushing a fallen out strand out of the face, she placed the cup of cold coffee on the counter and turned on the stove. as soon as the clock on the dinner started to blink, the front door to the small house opened and revealed a heavy-breathing football player.

letting the bag fall to the floor, jules walked around the corner and through the living room to reach the kitchen area. the place, where she spent most of the time. a wide smile spread across the face, he was relieved to see her again. yet, the tired expression changed the mood immediately. "are you alright, babe?" jules stepped further towards her, the hand placed on the upperarm of the female.

"sure, why wouldn't i be?" she chuckled quietly, shrugging the shoulders in an attempt to lose the subject. "how was your training?"

"don't change the topic." he immediately spoke, "did anything happen back in france?"

alredy the mention of the country, where she was surrounded by love and attention caused a stinging pain in her chest. a tightened feeling, like she forgot how to breathe. corners of her mouth dropped into a frown, the eyebrows furrowed and followed the same direction. sadness clouded the mind, reminiscing in the memories of france.

"alright," jules raised the hands in defence, completely baffled by the mood swings. "are you pregnant, is that what's bothering you?"

mouth falling open, the eyebrows furrowed further together but this time in utter confusion about his question. "what?" she shook the head slightly from left to right, attempting to understand his trail of thoughts but losing in the very beginning.

eyebrows raised himself, jules ran a sweaty hand over the braids on the top of his hand until the fingers caressed over the neck. "shit, you're not. i'm sorry, it just blurted out."

"it's fine," she reassured the worried male, glancing anywhere but at the mixture of emotions on her face. "i just miss home." she shrugged, muttering the words out with the hope, he wouldn't hear any syllabel. pupils dilated, the surprise overtaking the concern, jules stepped closer to the female again and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"don't feel bad about it. you gave up everything for me, and i'm so grateful to call you my girl, my love." jules confessed like the words were prepared for the past weeks until the moment arrived. "i know i can't be around all the time, and you might feel alone. but i'm coming home every day, coming home to be with you, see you and kiss you. i'm never far gone, and you can always join me for the training session. for each game, you can always be with me."

the gaze was empty before, yet the love confession blew away the concern of always being alone in barcelona. eyelids fluttered close, the tears gathered on the waterline. one single drop rolled down her right cheek, but it never reached her jaw. jules reacted quickly, brushing the water away with his thumb. "don't cry, beautiful. i'm with you from the beginning of the morning till the end of the night. always right here by your side."

tilting the head forward, he placed his forehead against hers, quietly enjoying the view of seeing her without the slightest bit of make up on the face. natural beauty fit her the most, jules told her about his thoughts multiple times. yet, she still felt insecure.

"i love you, alright? with all my heart." taking her hand in his, he placed the palm over his chest. exactly the spot where the heart hammered against the chest, and she could feel each beat. "all for you, baby."

nodding the head repeatedly, she stood on her tip-toes to place a quick, but very gentle kiss to his lips. " i love you too, a lot."

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

I Will Find You in the Dark Ch. 7

Series Summary: Dean and Julie's story continues through turbulent times in the Winchester's life. Can Dean and Julie survive through it all? Can their love survive?

Chapter Summary: What happens when the demon is gone, but the mark remains?

Pairings: Dean x OFC (Julie) Established Relationship

Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence throughout. Smut throughout. More detailed chapter warnings.

Chapter Warnings: Nothing explicit. Some fear, much angst, bit of fluff. Talk of pregnancy, and parenthood.

Word Count: 2,532

Series Masterlist

A/N:  The seventh chapter in the sequel to my fic, Green is My Favorite Color I strongly suggest that you read that one first, since there will be references made to it throughout this sequel. Also, I suggest you read the Dean and Julie Mini-Series I wrote as a bridge between that fic and this one. (The Mini-series’ title is a bit of a spoiler for the original series, so I won’t post it here, but it can be found here.) I had a lot of fun writing that original series, and the mini-series, and certainly hope those who read and enjoyed those, enjoy this sequel. 💓

The beautiful dividers below and at the end were created by @talesmaniac89 ❤️ Title card was created by me.

One month later

Dean woke up with a shout, clamping his hand over his mouth and breathing heavily. The mark on his arm burned, and he moved his hand to cover it, pressing out the pain.

He looked beside him, hoping he hadn’t woken Julie, but she wasn’t there. He scanned the room quickly and then got out of bed. Not bothering to put his robe on, he went searching for her in his black boxer briefs and white t-shirt. He walked through the library, but she wasn’t there, so he headed for the kitchen.

As he stepped into the doorway, he saw her and sighed. Then a smile blossomed as he watched her, headphones on and singing along softly with whatever song she was listening to. Her body swayed back and forth and her hand smoothed her satin nightgown over the bump that sat fairly low on her belly.

He walked into the kitchen and Julie jumped a bit as he approached. She laughed and pulled her headphones off.

“You scared me.” She said, her tone accusatory. 

Dean reached her side and pulled her close, smiling down at her. “Sorry, sweetheart.”

She smiled back up at him before she wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled her cheek into his chest. He rested his chin on the top of her head. “I woke up and you weren’t there.”

She turned slightly to again run her hand across her belly. “Sorry. He got hungry.”

Dean chuckled. “Well, he’s a growing boy.”

Julie nodded. She spoke softly against his chest. "Did you have a nightmare?" 

He didn't answer, but that was an answer in itself. She squeezed him a bit tighter and looked up at him. His eyes were closed and a muscle ticked in his cheek. 

She raised her fingers to brush against his cheek. He felt cold. She shook her head. "Dean, everything will be okay."

"Will it?" He asked, and something had altered in his voice. His eyes popped open, black like onyx, deep and empty and terrifying.

Julie screamed and tried to jump back, but he had his arms like a vice grip around her upper body. 

He smiled an evil, sinister smile. "Oh, Julie. Things are far from okay."

Julie didn't stop screaming, and the sound made the monster laugh loudly and lustfully.

"Julie, Julie, Julie." He said, shaking his head, shaking her.

Julie continued to scream as the room spun, and then suddenly she was startled awake with another scream. 

She could still hear his horrible laughter, still see his oil slick eyes, and she was frantic, panting as though she'd run a mile. Something was still clutching at her and she wrenched away from it only to look beside her and see it was Dean. He'd been shaking her awake, but now his hands were raised as though in surrender. 

"Jules, sweetheart, it's okay. You're safe."

Julie's heart pounded in her ears, and her face was wild, terrified. Dean reached towards her again, trying to put a hand to her cheek. 

But she gasped and jerked away from his hand, knocking it aside. Her heart slowed slightly as she saw the spasm of pain flash across his face quickly, before he covered it up with a soft smile.

"I'm gonna go grab you some water."

He stood up, walking away from her in his black boxer briefs and white t-shirt and it brought the monster's image to her mind again. Julie pushed the covers off to swing her legs over the side of the bed. 

She rubbed her hands over her face, and breathed deeply so that by the time Dean came back in with a cold glass of water, she'd started to feel more in control, her heart slowing to its normal rhythm. 

Dean handed her the glass and she gulped it down; the cold refreshed her a bit, and pushed the nightmare images even further away.

She looked up at Dean and felt awful. He wore a look of concern that she could see was also disguising hurt. 

"I'm so sorry, Dean." She said, clasping his hand in hers.

But before she could say anymore he gave her hand a squeeze and shook his head. "No, kid, you don't have to apologize. Nightmares can take us all out."

He raised her fingers to his lips, kissed the back of them and then gave her hand another squeeze before letting it go. "Well, I got my four hours, so I'm gonna head to the library. Get a bit of research done."

Julie started to stand, but he kept her sitting with a gentle hand on her shoulder and a smile. "No, Jules, you need to get some more sleep, sweetheart. You're growing a human. Takes energy." 

He slipped on the pair of jeans that was thrown over the desk chair, and then smiled at her again; the smile still hid sadness. "I'll see you when you wake up."

He started to bend down to kiss her cheek, and then stopped himself, obviously not sure how he'd be received. His hesitation broke Julie's heart and she grabbed onto the front of his t-shirt, pulling him down so she could kiss him, firm but tender - trying to convey all her love within one, too brief, exchange of breath.

Dean kissed her back, and then cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead.

"Sleep." He ordered softly, before slipping from her fingers and walking out of the room.

***

Dean sat at the library table with a book that told a slightly obscure and differing tale of Cain and Abel. This version came a bit closer to the one Cain had told him and Crowley, though it left out the part where Cain had tried to kill himself with the blade and became a demon in the process. 

Dean shook his head. Probably an important part of the story. He thought with a grimace.

He closed the thick, old book loudly and leaned back in the creaky wooden chair, swiveling it sideways and stretching his legs out. 

He traced his fingers over the raised mark on his arm, before dropping his right arm back down, and bracing his left on the arm of the chair, covering his mouth with his hand. He slowly rubbed his fingers back and forth across his lips, his mind drifting.

His brain was running riot with a million conflicting images. At the center of them all though, there was Julie's terrified face as she’d awoken from her nightmare, and that image was overlaid with the way she'd looked a month ago, as he tried to crush her windpipe; it was the same fear and terror in both images.

Then his own nightmares crowded into his mind. He couldn't sort through them, didn't want to. There was just endless screaming and blood; the burning mark, and the rush of power that came when he swung the blade. 

He closed his eyes against the onslaught of emotions and memories, trying desperately to make them go away. 

He heard shuffling feet and looked behind him to see Julie wandering into the room. He gave her a chastising smile. It had barely been an hour since he left their bedroom.

"You were supposed to be in bed."

Julie shrugged and then climbed into his lap. She sat sideways across his legs and looked up at him as she settled in, nestling her shoulder into his chest. She raised her fingers to his jaw and ran the tips of them over his scruffy cheeks. 

"I don't sleep very well when you're not there."

Dean smiled at her, and held her hand in place against his lips, kissing her fingertips one by one. Julie sighed softly and laid her head on his shoulder.

After a minute, Dean broke the silence. "Do you want to talk about the nightmare?"

Julie shook her head quickly. "No."

Dean thought she probably should talk to him about it, but he respected her refusal. He knew something about hiding from the bad things in your mind and refusing to acknowledge them.

"Any luck with research?" Julie asked him, and he knew she was asking if he'd found a way to rid himself of the mark that had caused her nightmares. 

He just shook his head too. "No, nothing."

Julie nodded and was quiet for a long time. He thought she might have dozed off, but then she moved, smoothing her hand across her belly. Dean covered her hand with his. 

"We gotta figure out a name." He said quietly as though he was trying not to wake him.

Julie smiled up at him, her dimple showing. "What did you have in mind?"

Dean pushed out his lips. "I don't know. Do we wanna try for something strange, you know, something that no one will ever be able to pronounce or spell?"

Julie giggled. "Like what?"

Dean thought for a moment. "Ah…Jackson, but with an X, or Elijah but with an A instead of an E?"

Julie chuckled, and added to the list. "Um…Kashton?"

"Ooh," Dean said, impressed, "very nice, but I feel like it needs more vowels if we want absolutely no one to be able to pronounce it."

Julie's wide smile turned into a gasp of surprise and both her hands flew to her belly. 

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, fear sweeping over him.

But Julie shook her head, all smiles once more. "No, no. It's good. He's moving. Kicking. I've sort of felt him flutter a little before, but this is the first time…" She trailed off and then beamed up at Dean.

She took hold of his big right hand and placed it low on her belly. "Here, you might be able to feel him too."

After a minute of silent anticipation, they both exclaimed loudly as a tiny foot kicked against their joined hands. 

"Oh my god." Dean breathed. He waited impatiently to feel him kick again and was rewarded with another jab.

"Does it hurt?" He asked Julie, worry briefly replacing excitement. 

But Julie shook her head. "No, it feels…strange… a little inexplicable, but also incredible." She smiled, her eyes shining, and Dean leaned down to kiss her gently. 

As she rested her forehead against his, Julie chuckled. "I don't think he liked those names we were coming up with."

Dean grinned. "Well, we've got some time." 

Julie kissed him again. "What about naming him Dean?" 

Dean scoffed and she pinched his arm lightly. "Hey! That happens to be one of my favorite names in the world."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, we'll see."

He stared down at their hands on her belly, just waiting for more movement. The busy baby boy rewarded them both with what felt like somersaults. They laughed quietly, their heads close together. Slowly, though, a small frown gathered on Dean’s brow. He swallowed several times before speaking very quietly.

"I don't want him to hunt."

He looked at Julie, who wore a soft, sympathetic look, and repeated himself. "I don't want him to hunt."

Julie reached up to card her fingers through his hair, automatically trying to soothe him. 

He shook his head, feeling a sad kind of panic rising in him. "I don't want to have to tell him monsters are real."

"Dean." Julie said simply, consolingly.

But he continued speaking. "I don't know if I ever told you this, or if Sam did maybe. But, I was the one who told him that monsters were real."

Julie shook her head and her face spasmed with hurt on his behalf. "No, I never knew that."

Dean smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he was just a kid, maybe eight or nine. I didn’t want him to know, just wanted him to keep being a kid, you know? So, I kept telling him to stop asking questions, told him that he didn't wanna know the answers." 

He shrugged. "But you know Sam, dog with a bone. So, he never let up. Then one night he found Dad's journal and asked me if it was all true. So I…I told him."

Dean closed his eyes at the memory. "He was so scared. I tried to tell him we were safe, that Dad wouldn’t let anything get us." He paused for a beat. "But I think, even then, deep down, I knew that might not be true." He exhaled softly. "Cried himself to sleep that night. Had nightmares for weeks after."

He pressed his two big hands firmly over Julie's belly, leaning down to kiss it and wishing more than anything that he could just put up some kind of bubble of protection around Julie and their child.

Julie ran her hand over the back of his short hair and his neck. "Dean," she assured him, "of course he'll never hunt as a child. We'll keep him safe."

Dean shook his head, turning it to look into Julie's eyes, trying to convey how strongly he felt. "I don't ever want him to hunt."

Julie lifted his chin up, forcing him to sit back up. "Listen, children should be allowed to hold onto their innocence as long as they possibly can, they should be encouraged to just be kids."

She bit her lip before continuing. "But look, we're in a very different situation from the way John raised you. I mean, he had this horrible life thrust into his lap, and he didn't know the best way to protect you. So, he did what he thought was best, and just tried to prepare you."

She shook her head. "But we don't have to do that. We know all about what goes bump in the night, and we know how to keep him safe without forcing him to grow up before his time."

Dean nodded, admitting that truth. 

Julie's voice got soft. "But, you know, even non-hunters have to eventually tell their kids that monsters do exist. I mean, it may be the human variety, but all kids still end up learning, slowly, that evil exists in the world. We just have to make sure he knows he's loved and safe."

Dean tucked Julie's head under his chin, pulling her tighter against him. How did she always know what to say to make him feel better, to ease his fear and sadness?

Julie kissed his neck and then spoke again. "And when he's eighteen, it will be his choice what option he wants for his life."

Dean nodded reluctantly, accepting that that was the only thing they could do. "Maybe he'll decide to go to Stanford." He said with a smile.

Julie pulled back to look at him and kiss his lips this time. "Maybe." She said softly. "But the most important thing is that he'll have options, any and all options, open to him."

Dean nodded solemnly and made a silent promise to his unborn son. 

I will keep you safe, and you will grow up knowing you’re loved, and I’m gonna make sure the whole goddamn world is yours if you want it.

But the voice was still there in the back of his mind, like it was when he told Sam about monsters, making him question whether he was really telling his son the truth.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous

[stellewriites]

💕 Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile 💕

(Also love love loved the update to already spoken for!!!)

hiii jules!! thank you for the ask and i’m SO SO happy you liked chapter 2 🥹🥹💓💓

i’ll go three people i care about this time:

1. gotta be my mum at the top spot,, she’s the best full stop, no arguments

2. not a single person, but the small close group of friends i’ve got atm mean a hell of a lot to me and im grateful to have found people that are likeminded and on the same page as me with a lot of things in life

3. my grandparents! again not a single person but they both just do a hell of a lot for me and have since i was little and i couldn’t appreciate them more

[tampatom12]

your tm is edelman (et al)

I had a feeling that my trademark was gonna be one of the boys!!! 🤩🥳🔥💯💞

I love that you chose to name Jules specifically even with my URL being all about Tom ☺️

And yes, I know that (et al) means "and others", so you technically did name Tom and Rob without actually naming them :D ❤️💙🧡

Anyway, getting back to Julian:

YEAH!!!!

I love Julian so much and am so happy that I decided to become a fan of his back in 2021 🤩🥰

It has been A LOT of fun to get to know almost everything about number eleven!! 😊💓 1️⃣1️⃣

[caruliaa]

HEPPI BELATED BIRTH ONCE AGAIN… U CAN NOW PUT MINORS DNI IN UR CARRD (/J) BUT SERIOUSLY JULES UR AWESOME AND I WISH U GOOD THINGS AND MEOWS AND LOTS OF WONDERFUL STUFF IN UR LIFE :> UR LITERALLY SO SWEET N U DESERVE THE BEST THINGS ALWAYS !!! ALSO THE MIIS. HOPE THEY ARE DOIN GREAT AND MII ING IDK WHAT MIIS DO UHH YEAH <33 HAVE A NICE EVENIN !!!! 🌈🐱🐈🍑💎👑🍄🍓🍰🐞💕💗❤️💖💞💌💝💓❣️🫶❤️🧡💛💚💙💜✨💫

TYSMM SASHUU !! yeash i can..... i will not tho bc i want u to keep inreacting w my blog bc you are SUCH A LOVELY EPIC FRIEND OF MINE LIL SIB YOU RLY ARE !!! i love you so much you are soso lovely and epic and sweet and deserve the world and im so so glad to b ur bestie and ILUSMMM KITTIE HUG MEOW !!!!!!!!!!!!! ❣💞🍰🐈🌈💌❣💞✨✨

[chateautae]

i’m almost sure i let out an inhuman noise when i saw the “ksj”

this was so beautifully and realistically written! husband Seokjin is one of my weakest spots and you did him justice Sammy. I love when fics make me feel so many things at once, so much emotion ahhh their relationship is actually so beautiful, i loved every aspect of it, some may think it was somewhat toxic, but it’s just life and people do really get sucked up at work and neglect a lot of people unintentionally (been there, done that) also the scene when he got that mf and the way he protected her 🧎🏻‍♀️ i will be coming back to this piece of hotness a lot more

I demand more hyung line fics from you! 😩 i’m honestly in love with the way you wrote Jin and can’t wait to see the others as well bubs

enjoyed this so so much as usual! you never disappoint love 💜

JULES MY LOVE!! Ugh it’s always a pleasure to hear from you and I’m so so glad you loved this fic!! I’m happy I was able to write husband seokjin well AND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS HOT!! THAT WAS MY INTENTION YAY. YESSS OMG DW I’N GONNA WRITE A YOONGLES FIC SOON OKAY VERY SOON BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOONGI AHEIDJSKD, thank you for reading as always my love 💓💓

[coralsgrimes]

Hmm so I’ve listened to the whole thing and yea all the songs except for one is about waiting for a girl to love him back. I don’t believe him when he says the EP is about different people. I don’t think he lied bc the one song not about love is It’s Not the End, which is based on advice from his dad. So technically the truth but misleading. IMO they’re all about one girl.

Now you’re probably going to call me delusional because everyone and their mom is dead set on hofairy being the one he’s pining for but it just doesn’t feel like that to me? From his lyrics, the girl he’s in love with seems a lot more closed off emotionally and melancholy than the ho who has always seemed like she wouldn’t be able to ever stfu about her feelings.

I used to think it was the ho bc of all her 11:11 stuff and the emojis but then the lyrics of 11:11 dropped, “is it late?” “Is it warm? Clouds but the sun’s in the sky, rises over me but sets with you” and they made me think it wasn’t. Whomever he’s pining for seems like someone he has a huge time difference with and lives in a different climate. He doesn’t need to ask ho how the weather is, they’re neighbors. If I had to guess, I would say it’s someone in the UK. Why did he spend his birthday in Bath of all places?

Ordinary Day is even more pining. He has this kind of savior complex “he’s there to heal her troubled soul” towards someone who sounds very skittish and he’s unsure of her feelings “tell me im enough in your own way, enough would make him happy if love’s not yet the word.” To me the girl he’s singing about has a lot more restraint to her personality than ho, I would imagine ho wouldn’t hesitate to tell him she loves him right before she wonders off to Europe in search of a better catch. He seems desperate to take anything as a sign that the girl returns his feelings so he can wait for her to be ready. That just doesn’t seem like the twerking on the gram, lip filled to the max, and manipulative Hollywood paparazzi bot that the ho has been painted as by everyone who’s kept up with the clown fest. She would’ve sent him a 💗🦁 and he wouldn’t need to write the song in the first place.

I could be wrong, after all the buliannes have the power of emojis and soulmatism on their side, but it just really doesn’t feel like her to me after reading all the lyrics.

Nooo ye not delusional at all xd we have speculations only and everyone interprets the shit differently. It's refreshing to read different takes 💓 I like your angle ngl, mostly cause it involves little to no Jules…

What I will add is that now I think the music lacks authenticity overall, Benny just put the shit up for vanity or he's delusional more than us here xd. Lemme explain.

He started off saying that Songs For You (he could not even come up with his own title - sincerely Coral the cunt) are about universal feelings and he has those obviously. Said that what got him inspired were stories, one of them about FEMALE pirate (!!!) or just life and advice he was given. Also mentioned that if the song is for someone, then they would know. Later he said that the lyrics he was writing in his notebook for the longest time or years even, many people, many places and that the magical 'them' inspired him. Then unexpectedly he said that he saw the twitter speculations and wants them to stop! The story changes again and now he wrote all the songs around the same time! Then 11:11 turns out to be something he does not believe in but the song comes straight from his heart and is so intimate and authentic. EP is about nothing and for no one and everyone in the next interview... Now he said that the 'them' who inspired him and told him to release it was his momma. Also on numerous occasions he said that he was able to make the EP because being stuck at home and pandemic and he got to know himself better and re-evaluate his choices.

What I would say aka my shitty opinion is... The songs are not authentic at all, he's a bad songwriter and his vocals could use a lil bit of work. I think the EP is not wholehearted love confession, parts are inspired by people around him probably cuz he got the inspiration from somewhere but it's not all about her. I truly believe his fans told him that he can sing and he loves them fangirls praises and he had the means, so he just made a vanity generic EP and called it his dream which landed well with them fans. BUT lovely Jules inserted herself into the equation more than the poor puppy anticipated.

And what do we know? Well, he had the songs done in April/early May. He waited after the Shadow and Bone me Daddy fame started to kick in before he released. Story changes but I would say he did write them all during the pandemic. Ye know who he was very publicly close to during those uncertain times? Clue! She's not invited to lotsa Halloween parties anymore...

Like he just made generic songs and they are so freaking generic that people can easily project anything onto them. There is no substance to them and to Ben, so people speculate because the nature of the songs is that they are love songs! And he does nothin to actually stop the speculations, he stirs the shit with his word salads even more. The fact that he alternates the story/meaning of the songs every time the fandom changes course cuz they smelled bullshit ain't helping the case too. Is it that he did a bunch of generic af songs and tried to give them meaning afterwards? Or now he is ashamed or embarrassed of the connections? Ye know it's just the appearance of authenticity. 11:11 was Jules and Brooksy thing. Benny Boy is romantically linked to her for almost two years. He knows people know. Yet he did release the shite to the world. Would he if there was nothing between them? Or is he so delusional that he believes that them fangirls would believe it to be just a coincidence? Or the connections were something he hoped would kick start his reputation era? Yeeep no idea here yet again.

I'm making fun of the Bulianne stuff cuz it's one of the most ludicrous shit I ever encountered. During the summer, looking through twitter, DL or LSA was more entertaining than whatever Netflix had to offer. They BOTH were engaging in the bullshit, posting shit that was messing with people. Loyal puppy was deflecting and deleting while Jules was posing for romantic pictures in some guy's bedroom during her husband shopping trip. The fairies and twin flames and emojis? Like ye can sell it as a freaking show sure thing.

[extenler]

Hai Kil!

How r u? hope you doin fine lately!

I just wanna tell you that i love your story so much! Before May, Falling and Hello, Mr. Trouble. Are my top 3 hehehehe

Fun fact, i already have Before May Book but i'm not ready yet to met Joelena there. Kayak belum siap ajaaaa huhuhu

You know what? When i read the au, on the part when Selena told that she want to be clean, i cried a lot 😭😭😭😭

I feel like...i want to hug her so tight huhuhu

Sampai sekarang kalau inget part itu rasanya mata aku langsung penuh sama air mata 🥲

And you have to know, kil! I read that part when on a train. Wkwkwkwkwkkw i read and cried on Argo Parahyangan from Jakarta to Bandung. People beside me maybe think that i was broke up with my bf wkwkwkkw padahal punya pacar juga enggakkkkkk

Terus gak tau kenapa, aku tuh selalu sayaaang bgt sama karakter-karakter cerita kamu. Terutama Selena, Niki, Daniel, Jules sama Gege. Gak tau kenapa tapi sayangnya tuh sayang sampai gak mau mereka sedih gitu lohhh wkwkwk apa sih aku 🥲

Maap ya kil, bawel bgt ini. Tiba-tiba kangen sama mereka gara-gara kemarin lihat Before May di Gramed, terus inget ku masih belum berani baca 🥲

Ih, panjang bgt kayak pembukaan uud 45 😭

Maap yaaa. Have nice day, kil! 💓

Thank youuuuu so much kil, cz your story is the best way for me to escape from my sucks office lyfe 😭

🥺🥺🥺 hi 🥺🥺🥺

maaf pesannya baru aku balas sekarang huhuhu sejujurnya aku udah baca ini dari pas kamu kirim and i was like 🥺🥺🥺 senenggggg bangeeeeeettttttt karena aku beneran nungguin org org baca before may book vers huhu pengen tau pendapat kalian gimanaaa

thank you ya, for spending a lot of time buat selalu baca cerita ceritaku, aku beneran seneng banget kalau banyak yang terhibur huhu 🥺💗 please say healthy and stay sane ya, be happy as always too! hope you have a really really great monday!

[safekeeperscosm]

🌸 (Sending you lots of love, sorry you're doing through a wonky time) 🌸- Gary/Jules

NAWW MAN we're human peoples so all our feelings are feeling and being felt, my love is constant even if buried under passionate rage of nothing in particular 🥺💖💘💓💕

with that said, how is MY favourite anonymous gary-berry boo? 🍓