#love those guys can they be our regular vets please?

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

okay, gonna start with the main one because it's a big one:

LAST CAT STANDING IS GETTING HIS THYROID SORTED! He's had an overactive thyroid for pushing on for three years and we've been managing it with medication but it's been getting worse and although there is a treatment that will fix it outright (radioactive iodine injection) there have been such shortages that only one place has been doing it and their waiting list is over a year long, so he wouldn't be getting it this year, and he's nearly 18 so the longer he has to wait the worse he's going to get. However! Our vet called us last week and said she'd been doing a bit of research and found a couple of places much closer to us who are offering the treatment again and have much shorter waiting lists - one of them only about a month - so we said please refer him to one or other of those, and settled down to wait. Then I got a call yesterday from a very lovely vet at one of the places who talked me through it all and booked him in FOR TWO AND A HALF WEEKS' TIME. He'll have had it done by the time he turns 18 in mid-April! The really amazing thing is that this treatment has a 99.9% success rate - the vet described it both as 'the gold standard' and 'magical' and if a Sensible Veterinary Science Person is describing a treatment as 'magical'...well. I can't even begin to describe how thrilled we are. Our other three all had things that couldn't be cured (we don't even know what it was that Beanie had) so to have something that really can be cured straight off with one injection is just...it's such a relief you guys, I don't know how to tell you.

I've just had a really good two days at job number two with my gardener-lady biographer (who has turned into a really good friend and in fact bought our lovely little car off us a couple of months ago - so I got to see the little fella again which was lovely) - we did some reboxing of the stuff she's been sorting out, shuffled everything up and sorted it into a better order, and it all feels a lot more manageable now.

X-Men 97 is out!!! I haven't had chance to watch it yet but I'm SO EXCITED YOU GUYS OMG. I've seen a few stills, and it looks like my beloved Gambit is just as he was, and oh I am so pleased. <333333

The sun's been out today and we went for a wander at lunchtime, the spring flowers are all out and it was just so gloriously lovely to stand in the sun and feel warm.

Barduil Month is nearly here! (if anyone wants to prompt me please feel free - I have a couple but am always on the lookout for more!)

I am sitting in the pub with a very nice pint of Camden Hells and the laptop, one of my fellow regulars who I get on really well with is in the back room watching the rugby on his ipad and is going to come and join me when he's done, and some of my favourite bar staff are working. I am utterly knackered (I am such a lightweight, I'm not used to doing five-day weeks any more, and when I do two days in a row for job number two, to make it worth it for my friend to come up from London to work on gardener-lady's papers, I am always utterly wiped out at the end of it) but I'm chilling out and decompressing, there's a Wall of Sound playlist on the speakers (Da Doo Ron Ron currently) and everything is very lovely.

Both Isaac Howlett from Empathy Test and The Holy Ones have new singles out! Isaac's is here and is just perfect wounded-yearning-boy electropop (much like Empathy Test really) and THO's is here and is huge fun stoner-rock and Japa-the-guitar-player (who is one of my favourite people from the Finndom) hasn't changed a bit in fifteen years and I adore both him and the song. I'm hoping they'll announce some shows - they were playing in Helsinki in May 2020 and announced the show with enough notice that I was able to make arrangements to go, and I was on the point of doing so when Covid happened, the show was postponed to the September (when I still wouldn't have been able to enter Finland) and then cancelled, so I'm really really hoping they come through this time because I'm dying to see them. I also have itchy feet like you wouldn't believe and am dying for an excuse to go somewhere, and Helsinki being one of my favourite places in the whole world, well... :D :D :D

I had a fab birthday last week, and we went up to the new 'food dock' in town (one end of the docks has been converted into lots of bars, cafes and restaurants and it has been a very protracted process but it's finally finally all open) and had awesome burgers, locally-produced ice cream and locally-produced beer and looked at the pretty lights on the water and generally had a lovely evening of it.

Aaaaaand I have a fancy record player that works with our fancy wifi sound system, and Placebo's last two albums on vinyl, courtesy of the missus, and it's fancy enough that it doesn't auto-return at the end of a side so for the first time in about forty years I heard the track in the runout groove of side two of Sgt. Pepper which I hadn't heard since my dad got a tower stereo system in the 80s that had an auto-return and didn't play the runout groove and...yeah. Awesome. I sorted all my vinyl back into order (the missus does not do alphabetical order, and she'd had it all out of the cupboard at some point to do something or other behind the cupboard and then had not put it back in the right order), rediscovered a good few things, listened to a bunch of stuff and generally nerded out quite happily for a good few days XD

I had 96% on my most recent OU assignment XD all that's left to do is an essay plan for the final assignment, and then the final assignment itself, and given that I find planning really difficult, I'm probably going to write the final assignment and then summarise it for the plan, hand that in, then hand the final assignment in once I've had the feedback from the plan XDDDD And then I will be done, and I will be the king's favourite band (the Three Degrees) XDDDDDD

I think that's more than enough, don't you? :D Things are pretty all right at the moment, which is rather nice.

[fade-touched-eezo]

Yes hello please shame this purring jackass who I adore, who has managed to extract a kings ransom out of his humans with vet bills this year

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Sixty-Eight

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: FLUFF SO MUCH FLUFF, and a wee bit of smut. 

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

The next day you and Harry drive out to a Lowe’s to check out their outdoor section. Your balcony wasn’t huge, but it was large enough to fit a small table a few chairs, with room to fit a grill.

“These chairs are comfy.” You say sitting down on one of them. “Come sit, tell me what you think.” Harry shrugs and takes a seat in your lap, and you start laughing.

“Rather comfortable I’d say.” He moves his butt from side to side. “Could really see myself sittin’ on this outside.”

“Harry!” You squeal. “Get your big butt off of me, we’re in public!” You giggle. He turns to look at you.

“Oh, so when we’re in public you don’t want this ass, but at home-“

“Harry!” Your face goes beat red, and he stands up. You stand up and shake your head at him. “Please, just sit in the chair.”

“Geeze, didn’t think you’d get all flustered.” He sits down. “This genuinely is a nice chair, I think we should get a few.” He stands up and takes your hand. “What do you think of a glass table, this round one looks nice?”

“Good eye, I agree.” He kisses your temple, and then you go to look at the grills.

“We don’t need a huge one right now, just somethin’ to get the job done.”

“I don’t even know how often we’d use it, we don’t eat meat.”

“Yeah, but we could throw veggie burgers on it, or just regular veggies. Corn, god, I love corn on the cob in the summer.”

“Me too, actually.”

You both pick one out that you like, and find an associate to order everything up. The gift card your dad gave you was a big help. They said they’d be able to deliver everything by the middle of the week. Harry walks over to the paint section to show you some of the colors he’s thinking for his office.

“Lou called me yesterday, forgot to tell you.” Harry says on your drive home.

“Oh? Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, everything’s fine. They’ve just pushed the date off a little later. El wants to wait until the baby’s born. Said she didn’t want to be pregnant in all of her photos.”

“Don’t blame her for that.”

“Neither does he. Plus it just gives them more time to save up for everything.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Oh, she’s good, about to start her second trimester. Lou said you can actually see her bump. He’s been enjoying actually gettin’ to be a part of things this time. He didn’t get to do any of the pre-baby stuff with his ex, other than a few doctor’s appointments. He said every night he rests his head her stomach and like talks to the baby.”

“That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I’d do the same thing, you know?”

“I’m sure you would. You’d have a stack of bedtime stories ready to go too.”

“Mhm, and I’d sing to it.”

“Harry…you don’t sing now.”

“I do sometimes.”

“Only if the volume’s turned all the way up.”

“Maybe I get a little self-conscious because you’re such a good singer.”

“I am not, stop it.”

“You’re more confident.”

“Doesn’t mean I sound good. Although, when I can actually hear you, I have to say, you have a lovely voice.” He blushes and takes your hand to kiss it.

You get home and start up a few chores. Your sheets were in desperate need of a wash. Harry scrubs down the kitchen while you take care of the living room.

“We can go to the grocery store tomorrow right? I don’t really feel like goin’ back out.” He says.

“Of course, no rush with that. Just wanted to get some of the cleaning done today.” Harry’s phone goes off, and he answers it.

“Hello?” He furrows his brows and then his face softens. “Oh hey! Yeah, no, just took me a second, how are you?” He walks away from you. You shrug and sit on the sofa, turning the TV on. About twenty minutes later he comes over to sit down next to you.

“Who was that?”

“Old friend from uni who lives up in Vermont.”

“Oh?”

“He, uh, breeds labradoodles. Two of ‘em just had a fresh littler.”

“How often do you talk to this friend?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Once in a while. Anyways, I know your allergies get bad, but labradoodles-“

“Are you asking me if I want a dog?”

“A puppy.” He corrects you. “And for free at that.”

“Dogs are like three thousand dollars, he’s just going to give you one for free?”

“He owes me a favor.”

“For what?”

“None of your business.”

“Harry Edward Styles.” You gasp.

“Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N.” He crosses his arms. “Do you want have a dog with me or not?”

“Do you think now’s the right time? We’re both always so busy.”

“I could bring it to the studio with me, it’ll be like havin’ a shop dog.”

“That’s true.”

“And I know a dog is a lot different than havin’ a kid, but I think it would help with the baby fever.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I mean it! Please, please can we get the puppy? He sent me some pictures, this one would be ours.” He shoves his phone in your face, and you see the cutest little brown haired puppy you’ve ever seen.

“Harry, can we even afford a dog with everything going on right now?”

“Think we could manage it. Buy the food in bulk. It’s the vet visits at the beginning, and then it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“Is this a boy or a girl? Not that it really matters…”

“Think it’s a boy.”

“What would we name him?” Harry’s grin grows.

“Are you saying we can get the dog?”

“Obviously! Look at how cute he is!” Harry takes you in his arms and practically squeals.

“We can name him, uh, whatever you want, lemme call my friend back.” He gets up and makes the call. He comes back a few minutes later, very excited. “Said the pup’ll be at eight weeks this week, so we can pick him up next weekend if we want.”

“Next weekend?! We have to get so much stuff. Food, bowls, a collar, a tag. We’ll have to register him at town hall.” Harry grabs your face and kisses you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” You sigh. “Now, what should we name him, let me see the picture again.” He hands you his phone. ‘What names do you like?”

“Max?” You look at him and scrunch your face.

“That’s so generic. What about Peter?”

“Peter?!”

“Yeah, we could call him Pete.”

“We are not namin’ our dog Peter.” Harry gasps and snaps his fingers. “I’ve got it.”

“What?”

“Winston.”

“Winston?”

“How fuckin’ cute would that be?”

“Winston Styles?”

“Oh, so the dog would have my last name?”

“Duh, he’s going to be our baby isn’t he?” You think for a second. “What about Buster?”

“Buster Styles…that could work.” You both look at the picture again. “He looks like a Buster.” He throws his arm around you.

“Yeah, he does.”

//

“You’re gettin’ a dog?!” Niall says in the car Monday morning.

“Yup, his name is going to be Buster. He’s so cute Niall.”

“That’s a huge step.”

“Oh, and being on the same lease together isn’t?” You joke.

“No, it’s just…like if something happened…now a dog is in the middle of it.”

“Something as in us breaking up? Are you stupid?” He makes a face at you. “Niall, Harry and I are happier than we’ve ever been, why would you even say something like that?”

“I don’t know…just gotta think about those things sometimes. So, like, hypothetically speaking, you truly plan to marry Harry some day?”

“It’s not even a hypothetical, Niall. That’s the plan.” He smiles at you.

“Can’t wait for you two to fight over which weddin’ party I’ll be in.”

“Mine of course.” You scoff. “Fuck him.” You both laugh.  

//

Harry and your dad finish all of the major renovations by Wednesday, which leaves him to start painting on Thursday. He told Rachel he’d prime everything. She came in after her school day was over to help him finish it up.

“I’ll be able to come after work tomorrow to start Mariah’s office. It looks so great in here.”

“Yeah, we did pretty good right?”

“Harry, can I ask you something?” He puts the paint roller down and looks at her. Rachel looked cute today, she had these white painters’ overalls on with splashes of old paint all over them. Harry just had old jeans he didn’t care about on and a t-shirt.

“Course.”

“We never really get alone time to talk. I guess, I just wanna know…um, I really care about Y/N, she’s one of my best friends…and I know you both love each other, but you’d never do anything to hurt her right?”

“Oh my god, no, of course not.”

“I care about her a lot, and I’ve never really liked any of the guys she’s dated. I like you, obviously, but I’ll be honest, it took me some time to warm up to you.”

“Really? Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I was honestly shocked when she told me you wanted to set me up with someone, I didn’t know you cared that much. Mariah makes me really happy, so I’m sort of grateful for you.” She laughs.

“I felt terrible when all that stuff with Lora happened.” He sighs. “I’m really happy things are working out so well with you and Mariah.” You both grab the paint rollers and continue to prime the walls. “I want you to know…I’m in it for the long haul with Y/N.” She looks at you.

“What does that mean exactly? I know you two are getting a dog soon…”

“Yup, his name is gonna be Buster.” He smiles. “We’re drivin’ up to Vermont early Saturday morning. We’re gonna spend the night in the Burlington area, and then get the puppy Sunday.”

“That’ll be nice…what comes after the dog though?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, okay, you’re living together, and now you’re getting this dog with her…it’s all so…grown up.” Harry starts laughing.

“You make it sound like I’m this thirty-year-old dude sweepin’ her off from her life.”

“It’s just…last time a friend settled down we never saw her anymore, and you know how the rest of it went. Getting a dog with someone is like the test to see how you’d be as a parent. I feel like all of a sudden you two are gonna be in the suburbs with two kids and we’ll never see her anymore. Practically lost her once after the whole thing with Jake, I can’t lose her again.” Rachel feels tears prick at her eyes.

“Hey, woah, I’m not takin’ her away from anyone. And she’s told me she doesn’t exactly want to move out of the city yet either. There’s no rush for anything.”

“But you two talk about having babies all the time.”

“Not all the time.”

“Harry.”

“Well, it’s important to talk about don’t you think? Be on the same page with your partner.”

“You wanna marry her?”

“At some point, yeah.” She smiles and nods.

“You know, I had a huge crush on her when we first met.” She chuckles. “When we became really good friends, I eventually told her. I think we both cried. She told me she felt terrible that she couldn’t return my feelings. Like she was genuinely torn about it. I think it made us closer. I got over it of course, but that feeling of just wanting what’s best for her will always linger. When we got to spend that semester in California together it made me realize that she’s so special, you know? She deserves the world.”

“And I wanna give it to her.” He puts everything down. “Would it be alright if we hugged?” He had tears in his eyes too. She puts everything down and opens her arms up. They share a nice embrace. You and Mariah walk in with dinner. Mariah coughs loudly to get their attention.

“We just had to go and date the two biggest blubber bags out there, didn’t we?” She says to you and you start laughing.

“What the hell are we gonna do with you two, what happened?”

“We were having a nice moment until you two ruined it.” Rachel says sticking her tongue out at you. You stick yours out back. “What you bring for dinner?” She asks excitedly, walking over to Mariah to give her a kiss.

“Sushi.” She smiles.

“Got some foldin’ chairs in the back, hold on.” Harry says and goes to get them. He stops short, turns around to kiss you, and then goes to get them.

“He’s cute.” Rachel says.

“Yeah, he is.” You smile.

Harry comes back with four folding chairs so you all can sit and eat.

“Harry, if you leave me the keys I can come in this weekend to paint while you’re gone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind. I can get Mariah’s office and the kitchen done easily. Then when you get back we can do the rest.”

“Then it’s just the furniture right?” Mariah asks.

“Yeah, we’re going to have a waiting area over there.” Harry points. “Two small love seats, and then Isaac’s desk should be here any day. Got him one that he can stand up at too like he’s been wantin’. And then our desks will be here in a couple of weeks along with our chairs. We can start bringing the equipment in once the painting is done.”

“I’m so excited, I can’t wait to put my two weeks in. It’s been insufferable without you there.”

“Right, because my attitude just brightened the whole place up.” He says sarcastically, making you all laugh.

“I swear I thought Julia was going to kill herself when she saw your office all cleared out after you left. Luckily, her and Dana are done in two weeks. We might actually hire Dana for the summer. Paige really enjoyed her help.” Harry nods. The mention of Julia’s name makes you cringe.

“You didn’t tell any of them where I went did you?”

“No, but everyone hounded me. I just told them you wanted to focus on your freelance work. Not like it was a lie.” She shrugs.

“I just don’t want any of them findin’ me. Isaac’s kept quiet?”

“Mhm, he’s just excited to get out of there too.”

The four of you finish eating, and you tell Harry you’ll see him at home while him and Rachel finish up. You’re in your pj’s, cuddled up on the sofa watching TV when he gets in. He strips all of his clothes off, besides his boxers, and plops down next to you.

“Harry…”

“Didn’t wanna get paint anywhere.” He yawns. “How’s my baby?” He kisses your cheek.

“Good.” You giggle.

“Just imagine, you’ll have a little pup all cuddled up with you on these later nights.”

“Mhm, it’ll be nice.” You yawn. “I need to set up the little bed inside the crate for him. I mean it, he’s not sleeping in the bed with us.”

“I never disagreed with you, but if he starts cryin’ you can be the one to comfort him.”

“He won’t cry because he won’t know any different. We just need to make the crate a safe space, not a punishment, then he’ll have no problem sleeping in it. Then when he gets a little older we can take the bed out of the crate and he’ll know that’s his bed.”

“You know I’m kind of looking forward to being away for the night.”

“Me too, I’m glad we’re making a weekend of it. I’ve never been to the Ben and Jerry’s factory, I’m so excited.”

“There’s a cider mill right down the road from there too that we should check out.”

“I’ve never been to Burlington either. I think I’ve been to Vermont like once in my life.” You laugh. “We never really had a reason to go.”

“The lads and I would head up there to buy weed on the cheap.” He says nonchalantly. “You know, before it was legal here.”

“Hm, interesting.”

“Alright, miss straight edge.”

“I’m not judging.”

“Mhm, yeah. There’s worse drugs out there, you know?”

“Yeah, like mushrooms.”

“Should’ve never told you that.” He shakes his head.

“Well, you did.” You crawl into his lap and he lays back so you can lay on him. “Hi.” You nuzzle into his chest.

“Hi baby.”

“What were you and Rachel doing earlier, when we walked in?”

“We just had a moment is all.” He strokes your hair and rubs your scalp. “She…really cares about you.”

“Yeah.” You look up at him. “She’s the best.” You smile and lean in to kiss him. “So are you.” You nuzzle your nose to his. “I love you so much, I’m really happy.”

“I love you too, darlin’. I’m happy too.” You kiss for a while on the couch before you both start to feel sleepy. Then it’s off to bed.

//

You both get up early Saturday to get to Vermont. It would be along, and annoying drive. You took some pills to help you not get carsick. Harry was an excellent driver, but you knew there would be a lot of back roads involved at some point.

You put on some cuffed jeans and a white short sleeve crop top. You pair it with a blue cardigan and your white tennis shoes. Harry has a loose pair of jeans on and a band t-shirt.

“I’m so happy it’s gettin’ warmer out.”

“Me too.” You look around. “Everything’s all set up for him.”

“Yup.” He kisses you and grabs the overnight bags. “Let’s go.”

Harry lets you put a playlist on. A mix of old and new songs. You gasp when a particular song comes on. You’ve Made Me So Very Happy by Blood Sweat & Tears.

“Oh my god I love this song!” You turn the volume up and sing along. “Have you heard this before?”

“Yeah, I thought a woman sang it.”

“There are a ton of covers. I think I like this one the best.”

You continue to sing while Harry listens to the lyrics. Every word perfectly describes how he feels about you.

I chose you for the one. Now I'm having so much fun… You treated me so kind, I'm about to lose my mind…You made me so very happy. I'm so glad you came into my life…

Harry makes a mental note of the song for future use, especially when he sees how much you love it. You hold his hand while you sing. You must resonate with the lyrics too.

You eventually make to the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream factory. You couldn’t wait to stretch your legs. You practically run inside.

“I need to pee so bad!” Harry laughs at you while you find a bathroom.

“Tour’s only five bucks a person, I got us two tickets.” He says when you come back. You thank him and wait to be called in with the rest of the group.

A short movie is shown, and then you all are brought in to see how the ice cream is packaged and produced. Next you’re brought downstairs where they give you a sample to try.

“Mm, oh my fucking god.” You can help but moan when you lick at the chocolate malt ice cream. Harry looks at you. “You have to at least try it.”

“I don’t like chocolate ice cream. And you better be careful that’s gonna upset your stomach.”

“No it won’t it’s only a little, and it’s soooo good.” You lick at it again and smile. “That’s some good shit, wow.”

When you’re done you take a picture together outside in front of the sign. You drive down the street to the cider mill. You go inside and see all of the things that can be made with cider and or syrup.

“Look Harry, a maple syrup hot sauce, this could be fun to try.”

“Sure.” He smiles.

“Are you feeling tired? I could drive the rest of the way to the hotel.”

“Would you mind? It would be nice to close my eyes for a bit.”

“Of course.” You kiss him on the cheek, pay for your things and head to the car.

You kept the music volume low while he slept. You pulled into the parking lot of the small hotel. It was really more like an inn.

“Baby, we’re here.”

“Hm? Oh, okay.” He stretches and gets out of the car. He grabs your bags and you both go in to check in.

You get into the room and put everything down. You both wash up and head back down to the car. You drive into Burlington and pay to park near Church Street.

“Look at all the shopping! And the lake! Who knew there was such a populated area?” You laugh.

“Well, UVM is like right over there.” He nudges you.

“Shut up.” You nudge him back.

You both do a little shopping before finding a nice vegetarian place to eat at. After dinner you head down to walk along the peer near the lake.

“I can’t wait to see Buster tomorrow, Harry.”

“Me too, baby.” He holds your hand as you walk.

“Do you think he’ll like us?”

“Of course!” He laughs. “We’ll be the best parents ever.”

You drive back to the hotel and you both get settled in for the night. You both do your nightly routines and get into bed. You face each other, limbs getting tangled in each other. Harry’s leg slides between yours, and he cups your cheeks in his hand. He pulls your face closer to his and your lips connect. You grind slightly against his lig, and he pushes it against you harder. A small moan leaves your lips. You tug at his shoulder to pull him on top of you.

He runs his fingers over your folds and fingers you for a bit to get you ready for him. You wrap your legs around him as he enters you and he kisses you. He buries his head in your neck while he rocks in and out of you. You grab one of his hands you lace your fingers together.

“Harry.” You moan. “Feels so good.” You look up at him and he’s already looking down at you. You kiss each other, and you pull him closer with your legs.

“Y/N.” He moans into your ear. “Love you so much.”

“I, ngh, love you too.”

He rocks in and out of your faster, and then with a sharp thrust, he gets in really deep and stays there. You grind against him as your tongue finds his.

“Oh my god, shit, shit, shit, Harry!” You release around his cock. You squeeze his hand tightly.

He picks up the pace again, chasing his own high. He pants and groans, and with another moan of your name he comes inside of you. He collapses next to you. You both kiss again, not leaving anytime to your breaths. He bites your bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth.

“I’m getting hard again.” He says against your lips.

“Want me to suck on it?”

“Please.”

He lays on his back and you get between his legs. Sure enough he was hard again. You don’t waste anytime getting your mouth on him.

“Fuck.” He groans. He thrusts up and you take him deeper down your throat. You swallow against him and cradle his balls. He grips at your hair and you start bobbing up and down him. “Shit, I’m gonna come.”

You give him a thumbs up as you keep your mouth on him. His come shoots into your mouth, and you take all of it. You come off him and swallow.

“Thank you.” He says, out of breath.

“Mm, my pleasure.”

You get up, use the toilet, and rinse your mouth out. You crawl back into bed, and he wraps himself around you. He kisses the back of your neck a few times before completely settling in.

//

The next morning you both get everything together, and head out to where Harry’s friend lives. It was only about thirty minutes later.

“Adam!” Harry says when he sees his friend coming out to greet him. “Hey, mate!”

“Harry!” The hug each other. “It’s been ages!” Another Brit, how interesting.

“Adam, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Hey, greet to meet yeh!”

“Same to you.” You shake his hand.

“Pup’s in the barn, follow me.”

You take Harry’s hand and follow Adam around to the barn. You hang back while he goes over to the pen they’re in.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks.

“I don’t want to watch him take him away from his mumma.”

“Oh, sweetie…”

Adam comes over cradling the puppy, and you burst into tears when he hands Buster to you. Harry and Adam look at each other and then look at you.

“He’s so beautiful, thank you.” The puppy yips, gives you a lick on the chin, and nestles into your arms. “Harry, he’s so cute.” You say through tears and a high pitched voice. “Here, you take him.”

He smiles and takes him from you. He holds him up in the air at first and then cradles him.

“He’s perfect.”

After chatting with Adam a bit longer, you take Buster out to the car. You had a car-seat for him, but you decide to hold him instead. You just didn’t wanna let him go. Harry would occasionally reach over and scratch his little head. He slept for most of the ride. You stopped a couple of times to give him some water and let him pee.

When you finally get home you let him scamper and sniff around. When it looks like he’s about to pee you pick him up and put him on a piddle pad.

“It’ll be easy enough to let him out for a wee, can just bring him to the balcony.”

“What and have our plants and new furniture smell like piss? No, no, we’ll be taking him out. The piddle pads will work for now. We’ll have to take him out every hour so he gets used to it. C’mon baby, are you hungry?”

“Actually, yeah, I a-“

“Harry, I was talking to Buster.” You shake your head at him and laugh. You whistle to Buster and he follows you. You scoop out some dog food and put it into his bowl. You stick your fingers into the dry food while he eats.

“What are you doin’?”

“I read about this. It helps the dog know not to bite you if you feed it treats and stuff. It needs to know it shouldn’t be rough with you.” Buster eats what he wants and then laps at his water bowl. “He’s just so tiny, I can’t get over it.” You pat the top of his head. “Okay, in like fifteen minutes we should take him out. I’m working from home tomorrow so I can help house train him.”

“Sounds good.” He smiles. “So…can we eat dinner then/”

“Sure, if you feel like whipping something up. I’ll have to take him to get registered with the city tomorrow. I’ll call the vet too to set up a check up like Adam said.”

“Thank you.” He kisses you and goes into the kitchen. Buster follows him in and so do you.

You take buster out to do his business every hour like you said. You ring a little bell each time you take him out too. Eventually the three of you get snuggled up on the couch together.

“Oh, let’s take a selfie, then all our friends can help welcome him.” You take your phone out and sit between Harry’s legs, facing away from him. You hold Buster up to your chest so you can get him in the picture. Harry kisses your temple right as you snap the shot. “God, I’m gonna cry again.”

“I couldn’t believe how emotional you got, usually I’m the mess.”

“I know!” The dog huffs. “Sorry baby, mumma didn’t mean to be so loud.” You coo as you strokes his hair.

Harry was so at peace. Hearing yourself refer to yourself as mumma thrilled him. When it was time for sleep, you put Buster inside his crate with his cozy bed. You stuck the crate in the hall outside your bedroom. You didn’t want to put it in the bedroom since he would wanna get on the bed with you. You start getting teary eyed when you get into bed.

“What is it, love?”

“I just feel bad leaving him out there all alone, I don’t want him to wake up scared.”

“Do you want to bring him in here with us?”

“No, we need to be stern about this. He needs to know our bed is for us, and his bed is for him. I’ll be okay.” You wipe your eyes.

“C’mere.” You lay your head on his chest and sigh.

Luckily, Buster didn’t make much of a peep throughout the night, and you and Harry were able to sleep just fine. Your little life with Harry was growing, and you couldn’t be happier. You weren’t sure if you were ready for the responsibility of having a dog, but somehow you ended up being a natural, and Harry took note right away.

[malachite-isms]

Your Kiss is on Their List Pt 5: Yang Xiao Long

This was familiar. This mental soup of lingering ecstacy and satisfactory subordination, she hadn’t always known it, but it was normal for her now. It wasn’t overly often that this would happen, all parties involved had things to do of course, but it was common enough that there was a sequence of events she was used to going through. As were they.

First, she would go to the club, that fateful club where she had made an impressive, if a bit unnecessary, show of force on the establishment’s security detail and owner in lieu of getting the information she needed. There, she would do some drinking, maybe a bit of dancing, or even, more recently, shoot some pool in that newly renovated nook beside the bar. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing one couldn’t find in most other nightclubs in cities like Vale. Great music though.

Then, the odd dance would begin. They would approach her, those bedeviling women, and they would flirt like they’d only met once or twice before and hit it off. They’d give her an opening line, she’d shoot something charming back and they’d go back and forth like that for a while. Then they’d invite her to the back, she’d push through the cool rush in her chest and say yes at an appropriate volume. They’d then escort her to the back, and she would positively relish the jealous looks she’d get from charmless men. Very few got the honor of meeting up with the twins in private regularly, save for Yang Xiao Long and one other.

Then they’d lead her to their room, lavishly furbished with leather furniture, modern art, and the most well-stuffed bed she’d ever been on. It was always just a little chilly in there; not cold enough for an additional layer, but you’d always be doing the little things to warm up ever so slightly. Things like crossing your arms, or being close to someone else. Part of their setup, no doubt. There, one of them would sit her on the couch and heap compliments on her while the other sat on an adjacent chair and methodically apply vibrant red lipstick. She’d catch her staring, she’d always catch her staring, and the other would know exactly when to stop talking and redden her own lips as Yang was caught in a suggestive gaze. They were frighteningly good at what they did.

Then, with gentle tugs, they’d pull her from the couch to the bed and begin the main event. They’d lean on either side of her and start with her cheeks. Gentle, lingering kisses that let her relish in the contact and warmth. They’d refresh the kiss-shaped stamp they had on her brain. They would work their way to her nose, and her forehead, and her temples, and her jaw, and her neck. Then they’d help her remove her jacket and scarf, she’d often already in a trance at that point. With only her tube top remaining on her torso, they’d kiss her neck, then her shoulders, then they’d let her slowly fall to the bed as they worked their way down her arms and to her hands.

At that point, they would ask her the question; how far would they go tonight? Yang would have to tell them, with a please. They never demanded one, never even asked for one, but she’d always say please. They’d always oblige her, if she asked for a full coat, they paint her red from head to toe. Sometimes,  when she was in the mood, she’d ask for something along the lines of “the full package,” and they’d oblige her.

Finally, they’d be done, and she’d be speechless. It had been a long time since the first occurrence of this, but she would always be speechless, staring at the ceiling, and simply plastered in impressions of lips, residue of blissful kisses that would put her firmly on cloud nine, regardless of whether or not her pants stayed on. They’d leave to the adjoining bathroom and clean themselves up.

Recently, if they hadn’t gone all that far, another step would occasionally come up. She would, without cleaning herself up, pick herself off the bed and wobble her way to the bar. She would be too love-drunk to care about the bewildered stares she’d get from the jealous and the envious, and order herself a lite beer, or even a water. Something simple to revitalize her system. There, she’d be joined by the only one to be able to truly sympathize with her, the only one who could claim to be in her shoes more often than Yang herself.

Tonight was one of those nights, and Cody Baxter was that individual.

Cody was, in many ways, Yang’s polar opposite. A passive pacifist who never looked to instigate anything aside from chill vibes. He was a writer by trade, and wouldn’t consider himself charming. Which made it as baffling to him as it was to many others when the infamously seductive Malachite Twins rented out a space in the club for the guy and showered him with affection whenever they got the chance. The only one more often covered in lipstick from the twins than Yang was Cody.

Though tonight, he was clean and Yang was the recent target.

“Y’know,” he started “,we gotta stop meeting like this.” 

“What,” she shot back, words slightly slurred “,you think you could hold up any better?”

They both chuckled like old war veterans, warmly recalling what others would consider nightmares.

“I take it this was your way of getting a ‘lightened sentence’ as it were?” he asked with a glance at the blonde.

“Yyyyyyou could say that I guess.” She took a swig of beer. “If what they did to my team was their version of going easy, I’d rather this,” she gestured to her marked self “,than whatever they were planning for an old vet like me.”

“Y’know, you say that,” he said, melancholy slowly entering his voice “,but I don’t think either of us handle them better now than when we got got for the first time.”

“Oum, the first time...”

-----------------------------

That club was so nice on her first visit, and cleaned up so nice the second, why not go again just for fun?

She was owed a drink, after all. Yang strutted into the club, the music was back, the patrons were back, and Junior was back. Back, too, were those twins who she never got to be properly introduced to.

With strawberry sunrise in hand, Yang took a seat between them at the bar. This place was worth being a regular at, best to ingratiate herself with the staff, especially the boss’s right hand girls.

But there was two of them so... right and left hand? Anyway.

“W’hey there!” she opened “So, I’m not so great at apologies, so how about I just buy you ladies a round?”

The two haughty women rolled their eyes and nodded in acquiescence.

Yang signaled to the bartender who promptly slid some fancy drinks to the twins, their favorites, Yang presumed.

“So, dunno if you’re cool enough with me for this, but would you mind if I got your names?”

A heavy pause followed.

“Melanie.”

“Miltiades.”

Yang was thoroughly surprised. She would’ve bet her bike that, no, they were not cool enough with her yet. Might as well strengthen her advantage then.

“Well, I gotta say, Melanie, Miltiades,” holy shit, did she just nail the red one’s name on the first try? “you girls are pretty damn good fighters.

Apparently, the praise was enough for the twins to deign her with their gazes instead of cold shoulders.

“I mean, most people have to fall back on their semblances when I go on the attack, but you two? Correct me if I’m wrong, but you guys didn’t even raise your aura when I hit you, did you?”

Another heavy silence.

“Knowledge is power,” Melanie said plainly.

“Uhhh... huh?”

“If we used our semblance for every punk with their head in their ass,” Miltiades clarified “,people could scout us for planned attacks.”

“Not that you’d know anything about that.” They scoffed in unison.

Ouch.

“W-well,” Yang tried to get back on balance “,I’ll be the first to tell you, I have a lot of muscles that might be the strongest,” she flexed her arms to drive the point home “,but my brain ain’t in the running!”

Self-deprecating humor, she didn’t use it often, but this seemed like a good time to bust it out. Some humility never hurt when trying to earn some forgiveness, right?

*chu*

Yang felt what happened, heard what happened, but her brain needed some time to process it. she looked to each of her biceps and found a red lipstick-imprint on each of them and a twin caressing an arm each.

Yang’s face lit up like a traffic light, but no words came out. Noises escaped her mouth for sure, but they were most definitely not words.

“You know, for as hot-headed as you are,” Melanie said, pausing to kiss Yang’s forearm “,you definitely have a charm about you.”

More noises, no words.

A soft hand cupped her cheek and turned her toward its owner; Miltiades, who had closed the distance and was inches away from her face.

“Y’know, you’re so cute, we can’t stay mad at you. How about we get away from the crowds so we can... get to know you better?”

There was a heavy silence.

Without taking her eyes off Miltiades, Yang picked up her strawberry sunrise, downed it in one go and croaked out “Sure.”

------------------------------

“Well if it isn’t our two favorite patrons!”

Melanie’s peppy arrival snapped Yang out of her recollection.

“Heyo, Mel,” Cody greeted the twin “,to what do we owe the honor?”

“Just a quick bit of correspondence we would like our blonde friend to deliver.”

Curious, Yang turned to the pair fully to find Miltiades holding out a business card. She took it, read it, and her eyes widened.

“Uhh... girls?” she said with trepidation in her voice “,I don’t wanna tell you how to go about your business, but this... this might not be the best idea.”

“Yang, for real, we appreciate the concern,” Miltiades said with uncharacteristic bluntness given their recent escapades “,but we’ve done our research. Trust us, we’ve planned this one out thoroughly. We know what we’re doing.”

“If you say so.” Yang looked down at the lipstick-stained card. “Better brace yourself, vomit-boy.”

[rallamajoop]

Some musings on symbiote morphology (AKA when size does matter)

So, back when Venom was still in cinemas, I saw it with a friend who (like me) enjoyed it mightily -- though said friend did roll her eyes pretty hard at the She-Venom scene, because of course the female!Venom has to be skinny and sexy. Of course she does.

I mean, the sexual dimorphism on display here is, uh... pretty extreme.

Usually, this would’ve gotten to me too. Few issues in genre film stick in my craw like the double standards applied to male and female bodies (ask me my thoughts on the likes of Wonder Woman or Gamora at your peril). So it was a little surprising to find that this was one I was mostly willing to shrug off.

Why? Well, that requires a bit of backing up and some more context. But mostly, it’s the perfect jumping-off point for a whole lot of rambling about visual shorthands and how symbiote morphology has been handled in the comics over the years, which apparently I had a whole essay’s worth of thoughts on. So here we go.

Now, Comic!Venom =/= Movie!Venom. They aren’t the same character, don’t have the same history, and their biology doesn’t follow the same rules.  But one is still the basis for the other, so we’re going to start waayyy back at the beginning.

Since the symbiote's introduction back in '84, precious little about the species has remained consistent through the many writers and retcons, but one detail that Marvel was -- mostly -- consistent on back in the early days is that the shape a symbiote takes depends a lot on the body of its host. So when Spider-man was wearing the symbiote the result was (by design) literally just Spider-man-but-in-black:

But Venom's next host did not have the muscularly-lean body of Peter Parker, he had the jacked-up muscle-mountain that was Eddie Brock’s -- and the result is the Venom we all know and love.

Whereas when completely-normal-human-woman Anne Weying first bonds with the Venom symbiote in Sinner Takes All, we get a much slimmer She-Venom.

You can see the same trends at work with the Life Foundation Five and various other examples. So, in the comics at least, there’s some internal consistency explaining why He-Venom and She-Venom should look so very different. (Why Eddie and Anne should be such wildly different sized humans is a whoooole other topic, but best left in the Don’t Get Me Started pile for now.)

Of course, when the guy you've cast as Eddie has the physique of Tom Hardy rather than, say, He-Man, the logic of why Venom looks so huge falls apart. 

  ⬥ Venom and She-Venom, actual size comparison.

While comic book writers of the 80's may have been able to convince a generation of fans not to question why a professional journalist would be jacked enough to dwarf Captain America, film adds a layer of realism and audience expectations that would make that a much harder sell (not to mention limiting your casting options to a much smaller pool). Casting Tom Hardy was inarguably the right call. 

If Eddie no longer looked like Venom, the other solution would have been to make Venom look more like Tom Hardy--but good luck getting that past the existing fanbase. When it comes to pleasing the longtime fans, it's safe to say that Venom, not Eddie, is the character who has to look the part. Plus, Venom is entirely CG, so casting and realism no longer have to matter. Fanboys can have their giant Venom and tiny She-Venom, and the fangirls can have Tom Hardy getting all prettily roughed up. There are worse solutions.

Don't get me wrong: they could and absolutely should have evened up the difference on screen by giving She-Venom some extra body mass (she is on screen for like ten seconds, the fanboys can effing deal). But when the key decision that fucked up those ratios is making Eddie so much slimmer and sexier than he was originally supposed to be, I am unusually willing to give them a tentative pass. I mean, I love comics!Eddie too, but I can’t see him working on screen.

While I’m talking symbiote-bodies, it’s worth going into some of the other reasons to make Eddie+symbiote so huge, the obvious ones being to a) make him more threatening, and b) emphasise that Eddie's bonded with the symbiote in a way Peter never did. As a shape-shifter, Venom can make his host look bigger but not smaller (which is presumably why Rad Eddie may look younger than regular!Eddie, but is still suspiciously large for a skateboarder hanging with teens).

But size isn't the only way to make a character like Venom threatening. Compare Carnage, who is much more dangerous than Venom -- but (along with his host) fairly consistently drawn as smaller and leaner than the original.

He's still plenty threatening, though -- not because he's huge, but because he's completely bugfuck nuts and into murder for recreation. His design gets this across with a texture less like skin than a mass of veins and tentacles. Size is a good visual shorthand for danger, but it's not the only shorthand that works for symbiotes of the 90′s heyday.

You can see the same logic at work in Toxin too (a lesser-known and sadly mistreated Carnage-spawn from the early 00's). Precious little about Toxin's look remained consistent from one creative team to the next, but the impact of the host body is still there. His first host, Pat Mulligan, was a pretty average-sized dude, which is reflected in his bonded form (left), but when Eddie gets the Toxin symbiote later on, we get a much bigger Toxin (right). And Eddie's Toxin has more tentacles and rougher skin, so we know he's not going to be friendly (Eddie was really not in a good place at this point in his history).

Perhaps the most interesting example is Agent Venom, who turns up when the military bonds the Venom symbiote to Flash Thompson: disabled vet and card-carrying Spidey fan. His Venom-look is a brilliant bit of storytelling-through-design: the face and overall build hearkens back to Spider-man's time in the symbiote, the equipment signposts his military connections (past and present), and black will always be the signifier of a guy working black ops.

Perhaps most important, there's no mouth (compare both Spidey and Toxin #1), which is our sign that the symbiote's under control -- drugged into submission by the military, in fact.

But key to Flash's time in the role is that the Venom symbiote doesn't always stay drugged and docile, and whenever it starts to break free, Agent Venom morphs into Venom's traditional look -- gaping mouth, no belts or shoulder pads, and lots of bulky muscles a la the original flavour Eddie Brock (you can see him mid-transformation on the left below).

Does that make sense, when Flash is the host? Probably not, but comic book logic, as usual, is suspended for the sake of visual shorthand: fans know what Venom is "supposed" to look like, so that's what he looks like when the comic wants to telegraph that Flash is losing control. And that, I suspect, is why Lee Price's Venom (above right) looks more like Eddie's, even though Lee Price looks more like Flash. Price may be the one in charge, but he’s also a madman, so his Venom has to look out of control. The comics have officially hit Tom Hardy territory: Venom is huge now because people have come to expect Venom to look like the original Eddie-Brock!Venom, regardless of who’s inside.

There are bigger exceptions to the rule, however -- two of the more interesting turned up almost simultaneously in 2015, when both Venom!Flash and Toxin!Eddie got significant redesigns in the pages of Venom: Space Knight and Carnage (2015). Now Flash's Venom is the bulky muscular one, while Eddie's Toxin looks slimmer than Eddie has ever been before or since. What's going on here? Did the artists just screw up?

Well, not entirely -- the characters haven't just flipped looks, they've flipped roles. Now Toxin's the one being drugged into submission by a US agency (and we can only assume those drugs somehow prompt a symbiote to produce pouches, because we're two-for-two on that front). Meanwhile, Venom's been "purged of corruption" and has finally bonded with Flash as a full partner, which may be why they opted for something closer to his original look. Note that Venom has no mouth, and Toxin's is positively restrained by symbiote standards, which tells you a lot about the temperament we can expect from both of them.

That said, I don't think either design really works. Venom's new look is a real step back in creativity from his Agent Venom days, and the helmet-face would be better suited to a mech design than a symbiote who's being treated as a real character for the first time. Meanwhile, Toxin’s look doesn't really work for Eddie, for all the same reasons it did work for Flash: Eddie isn't a trusted agent in this scenario, he's more like an intelligent animal on a short leash. It isn't just the builds that are wrong -- none of the story comes across well in these designs.

All in all, the longer Venom’s been around, the less the standard host=symbiote rules seem to apply. Venom is huge because his look is sufficiently iconic that that’s what the fans expect, regardless of who’s on the inside, or whether we’ve just rewritten his entire backstory and made the jump to film.

Speaking of which, it’s worth pointing out that there is actually precedent in the comics for female symbiotes who aren't drawn like a bikini model in a layer of black body paint. One is Patricia Robertson, who bonds with the "Venom" symbiote (read: not actually the Venom symbiote) in the 2003 Venom series.

Though Trish is a woman of fairly average build, her "Venom" is virtually indistinguishable from Eddie's (too much so, if anything -- it's very hard to tell which is which when they clash). Unfortunately, the 2003 series is otherwise an ugly, incomprehensible mess of a comic, containing almost nothing that has ever been referenced again. I can really only recommend it to absolute completists.

Somewhat better handled is Tarna, a skrull Agent of the Cosmos who appears in Venom: Space Knight. Tarna's symbiotic look is not remotely feminine, and one suspects that's the point: it's ugly, threatening, and gives no clue as to who's inside. (Her symbiote can also separate from her while maintaining form, making the comparison pic unusually easy for me).

But as a shapeshifting alien bonded to a shapeshifting symbiote, Tarna perhaps doesn't make the best example for general principles. It’s worth keeping in mind that every design has a storytelling function too: Patricia’s Venom needs to be mistakable for the original Venom for plot reasons, and the reveal that Tarna is a humanoid woman under her symbiote is set up as a surprise. But the creators of the film wanted us to know that was Anne under the symbiote from the moment she appeared, so sexy!She-Venom it is.

All that said, at the very end of the day, I’d much rather not have to make these excuses for the film. I’d much rather see more Tarnas and fewer She-Venom’s, and both film and comics have a long way to go before we get there yet.

[moonstruckbucky]

Rant Fest

So for the past couple of months, my “in-laws” (we’ll call them that even though my SO and I aren’t married *whispers* yet) have been driving me up a wall and then some.

His mom? Super sweet, loving... but a helicopter. And I don’t mean one of those dinky little news helicopters. I’m talking full-out military style, equipped with heat-seeking missiles kind of helicopter. She hovers a lot. Calls my SO multiple times a day, for no real good reason at all except to check up on him. Mind, he’s 30 - he’s a big boy.

Things have been a little stagnant for him since he had his seizure two months ago - he’s stranded without a car (totaled in the accident) and without a license (if you have a seizure MA state law dictates you automatically surrender your license for 6 months). So he’s been getting rides from her when he needs to, or his grandmother. 

(Gonna throw a read more on this puppy. We now resume our regular scheduled dash scrolling).

Anyway. Besides the hovering, which has undoubtedly gotten worse since his accident, she gets a little too touchy with him that bothers me. Pinching his behind (again - he’s 30), and just all over him in general. I get because he’s the first born, she’s probably super attached to him - plus, he fell 15 or so feet when he was 2, so we think that’s what spurred her hovering because at the time I don’t think she was watching him; he ended up spending two weeks in the hospital after bonking his head. She doesn’t really act like this with her youngest son, who’s a year older than me at 28, but because he’s had issues with drugs/drinking in the past, she hovers over him too and clearly doesn’t trust him all that much.

Which, not that it’s my business, I have a problem with, because she isn’t giving him the chance to earn her trust back at all.

Then came Baxter, our one year old lab pup, who we got for free because we studded out our 6 year old male to a guy who’d grown up breeding coonhounds - so a responsible breeder. We took him home over Labor Day weekend last year. From the get-go she was all over us about training him, and what we should or shouldn’t do. A little note: I have my Associate’s in animal care, had to take hours of classes on dog training and behavior, so I like to think I know my shit about dogs, okay? Okay. It bothered the fuck out of me.

Cut to less than a month later, Nick’s grandmother gets out of bed in the middle of the night, takes a wrong turn and ends up falling down the stairs. Breaks her fingers on one hand and doing some other damage to her other arm.

First thing out of his mom’s mouth? “Did she trip over that dog?” I was livid. As if she couldn’t trust that we’d keep Baxter with us in his room at night - he was fast asleep when this happened. Even Nick (SO) was annoyed that she’d asked that.

Jump to this past weekend, and here’s a long background to this event.

About two months ago, Nick’s brother and his ex - not even his girlfriend anymore - decided they were going to get a puppy. Now, I think it was Jake’s idea to get the dog, and then the ex just maybe saw an opportunity to stick around, and voila, their puppy.

Who is a backyard bred pit bull puppy bred by a guy either by accidental pregnancy or because he “just wanted to try and breed his dogs”. Either way, these are key signs of an irresponsible breeder. Next sign? The fact he told them both they could take him at 5 weeks of age. When the normal age to take home dogs is 7-8 weeks. We took Bax home at 7 weeks. So not only is he missing out on crucial socialization skills such as bite inhibition and when to cool his jets with corrections from mom, but he’s incredibly small, the runt probably. And then begin the seizures. 5 week old puppy is now on anti-seizure meds - the same ones Nick is on actually.

What’s worse? Jake and his ex didn’t even pay for the fucking dog - Nick did, because Jake didn’t have the money. Makes me wonder how the fuck they’re paying vet fees for a sick dog.

You angry yet?

Jump to a few weeks later. This puppy is a fucking menace. Has zero bite inhibition and those puppy teeth are like razors. He was actually fucking vicious about it as well. Would only let you pet him so he could turn and nail you. Even. Worse? His “parents” encouraged this fucking behavior! Every time he began biting people, even if he was in someone else’s arms, “mom” would take him from them and cuddle him - thus, if you know a little about dog training, is seen as a reward by the dog. Even when I put him down on the floor when he started biting, she picked him up and cuddled him while trying to tell him “no”.

It doesn’t fucking work like that.

So you’ll understand why I get nervous as he gets bigger around Baxter. Having the reputation pits do (I don’t hate them; I just think not everyone should be allowed to own them if they’re not going to take training seriously - and even then, you can’t guarantee they won’t display some genetic aggression later in life), and I brought it to Nick. He’s convinced they’ll “be fine”, and frankly, I don’t want to take that risk because Baxter? Is a softie. He’s a wimp (sorry bubba, but you are), and he won’t stand up for himself - and I don’t want him to be in that position with another dog’s teeth in his neck, where he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. Because by the time he figures it out, he might be dead (I’m gonna cry just thinking of that possibility).

So I keep an eye on them when they play. Jump to this weekend. The whole point of this rant. Sundays are for family dinner, and the puppy usually accompanies his parents. Why the ex still comes to fucking family dinner, I have no idea - she was his plus one to his sister’s wedding, which multiple people thought was fucking weird, myself included. Anyway, our boys are blocked off from the kitchen while we eat so the puppy can roam and we can keep an eye on him.

Then after dinner we let everyone in the kitchen. Well, Hydro (the 6 year old and Baxter’s father/sire) is at the table looking for scraps (bad habit, I know) when the puppy wanders over.

Now, let me mention this: Hydro was trained and raised as a hunting dog, so while he is socialized, he isn’t a very social dog with other dogs or even strange people. When Baxter was a puppy learning about boundaries, he pushed Hydro too far, and Hydro nailed him - picked him up by the head and tossed him. Baxter was fine, but he kind of got the gist. I was concerned, but at the same time I know it’s how a dog communicates enough is enough. Baxter still pushes boundaries but he’s a jerk like that. It isn’t for lack of trying.

So, puppy wanders over to Hydro, who gives a low warning growl to tell him he’s too close, he needs to back off. Adult dogs don’t very much like puppies to begin with because they have absolutely no manners. It’s crucial in dog development for them to be able to be taught by older dogs in their own way what is right and what is wrong.

Well, puppy made a wrong move not backing off, and Hydro snarled and snapped his teeth at him. He ended up catching him on the snout. Puppy starts screaming because he probably hasn’t had a dog do this before, and it’s bedlam. Hydro ducks under the table thinking he’s going to be punished for communicating in a way the puppy will understand. “Mom” scoops up the puppy, in goddamn tears (fucking please), acting like Hydro just tried to maul him. I’m watching this whole thing happen trying not to roll my eyes at everyone losing their minds.

I feel terrible for Hydro, so I’m the only one (even Nick wasn’t assuring him he wasn’t a bad dog right away, and that dog is attached to his hip) worried about Hydro. So I give him love and attention and tell him he’s okay, he’s not a bad dog. You can’t punish a dog for communicating that he’s had enough, for setting his own boundaries - and “mom” coddling the puppy isn’t helping him either, but he did learn. He was a little nervous about Baxter approaching him, but I’m glad his instinct wasn’t to bite. Had Hydro wanted to hurt him, he would have.

The puppy has to learn - even Baxter was trying to get away from him and everyone was just letting the puppy leap at him. Now granted, I read this morning you shouldn’t do that - if your older dog is trying to get away, you need to separate them.

Anyway, the family, besides Nana and Nick, kept giving Hydro wary glances every time he entered the room in case he was going to just up and attack the puppy. Which pissed me off.

What made it worse? Nick’s mother claiming Hydro wasn’t “socialized”, and the fourth time she said it, I corrected her with, “He’s socialized just fine. The puppy has to learn that dogs have boundaries. Not all of them are going to be like Baxter.”

(Spoiler alert: he would’ve learned this had he been allowed to stay with mom those extra 3 weeks)

So I’ve come to the decision that when Nick and I move to Maine next year, the dogs are staying home, and I’ll be minimizing contact between them. I don’t trust at all that they’re going to take the puppy’s training seriously, especially for a breed that’s so stigmatized like pit bulls. 7% of the dog population and they’re  number 1 in fatalities? There’s something wrong there. 

Anyway, this is my giant rant that’s been building up.

OH, and when we move to Maine, I’m going to do a happy dance because it means Nick’s mom can’t drop in unexpectedly all the fucking time and disrupt my domestic life. I can’t wait.

Uh, yeah, so y’all asked for it and here it is. Go wild on feedback, thoughts, agreements, whatever.

[ijustwanttoexist]

Love Isn’t Just a Walk in the Park Pt. 4

Hey guys. So, shortly after I posted the third installment of this series, my life...kind of imploded.

One of my roommates had a few ER visits that put a strain on our finances, and then when we kind of got level again, our cat got sick. It took the vet a few months to narrow the cause down to cancer, and that was a time of lots of worrying and expensive tests and spending all our free time making sure our cat was getting his meds and feeding him with a syringe because he wasn’t eating on his own. And then when he died, I honestly wasn’t in a place to try and keep writing.

So I’m just now to the point where I have some free time to try and start writing again and the motivation to actually do so. So yeah, I’m probably going to only slowly and occasionally post, but I’m tentatively back.

As with the last installment, I just wanted to remind everyone that I don’t work with animals, and I never have, so the things I include in this fic might not be correct. Please, if I include something dangerous to animals in my fic, let me know and I’ll bring attention to it in the next update. Let’s keep our animals safe!

I also wanted to say a very heartfelt thank you to the person who donated to my ko-fi. I cried. Thank you.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Pairing(s): Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

The time between that last morning shift and the day of the shoot both crawls by and shoots past Geno in the blink of an eye. It’s full of regular daily stuff, and updates from Angela and Sara on Sidney, and also the frantic scrambling of paperwork and scheduling and pulling all the details together.

But then the morning of the day dawns and Geno’s alarm goes off much, much earlier than he ever wanted his alarm to sound, earlier even than a regular morning shift. He trudges through his morning routine and barely leaves on time. Both of the girls are already there when he parks the car, and have just started working systematically to get everything together so they can leave. Geno slides right into the prep with no hassle, and they’re ready to go in almost no time.

The drive is a relatively short one, and it makes sense since Sidney probably wanted to live somewhere close to the rink. Geno wonders if any of Sid’s teammates chirped him for it. He hopes they did.

Geno pulls the work van into the spot he’s directed to, and then from there the three of them and a few helpers from the Penguins organization move them into a room where they can let the animals they brought out of their carriers and relax.

They had brought three dogs and one cat to the shoot. Angela handled the cat, a particularly prim tabby who just happened to be the friendliest cat Geno had ever met. Sara got the older dog, a one year old Whippet who’s just a little shy and needed the one on one attention. Which left Geno with the two lab puppies that were more curious than anything else, tripping over their feet and each other as they eagerly sniffed and explored the couch Geno had sad down on.

Slowly, shelters, pets, and hockey players convened. It was full of laughter and a good deal of big, tough hockey men cooing over the various animals. Geno was keeping mostly to himself, relaxing on the couch. One puppy had decided it was too early to be awake and was sleeping across his thighs, and the other was playing clumsily with his fingers.

He’s so distracted with the puppy that he misses Sidney enter the room and head in his general direction. He looks up when someone sits down, and meets the smile of Sidney head on. If only in the privacy of his own mind, he’ll admit that he’s missed that smile.

“Good morning,” Sidney says cheerily. Geno says something that’s an approximation of the same, but he knows it’s got a tired edge to it. “I’m glad you could make it.”

And Geno is struck again by how earnest Sidney Crosby is.

“Glad we could make it,” Geno says. “Need to show off best dogs.” He gives Sid a cheeky smile, and the man laughs that honking laugh, head thrown back and smile wide. Geno swallows against a suddenly dry mouth.

“Can I join you?” Sid asks, gesturing to the other side of the couch. Geno nods, no hands free to gesture since he’s petting one puppy, and the other is gnawing on his thumb.

The second Sidney sits, the playful puppy is more interested in the something new than Geno’s fingers. It clumsily trots over to the hockey player, and struggles to climb onto his lap. After a few moments, Sidney helps the puppy with a gentle hand, and the puppy continues up into his arms then flops down.

Geno watches Sidney coo over the puppy with a heart light with fondness but heavy with resignation. He’s completely lost whatever battle he was fighting to not become romantically attached to this sweet, earnest, and quite honestly unfairly attractive man, and it was probably lost long before this moment.

“Oh, this would be perfect for a post!” some lady in formal clothes says as she comes up to the couch, “You okay with that Sid?” Sidney smiles up at her, and Geno can’t help but notice it feels a little forced at the edges.

“Go for it,” he says. He lets her pose him just right, smiles a smile that Geno thinks almost looks real if he didn’t know what a real smile from him looked like. The woman takes a few pictures and talks with Sidney for a few minutes more before she disappears back into the crowd to find more opportunities like the one she had just captured.

“Sorry about that,” Sidney says when she’s left.

“Why sorry?” Geno asks.

“It just feels rude,” Sid says, “like I completely ignored you while she was taking those pictures when you’re a guest here.”

“Sid,” he says, “is like business deal. Good for all of us that we’re here. Good for cute animals here that might get adopted, and all pets the money go to. Good for my business, word of mouth.” Geno shrugs. “Besides, picture cute.”

“Oh yeah?” Sid asks. Geno thinks his cheeks look a little pink.

“With such cute puppy, any picture be cute. Could have no teeth, no hair, still be cute picture.” Sid scrunches up his nose.

“Thanks a lot,” Sidney gripes, and Geno sticks his tongue between his teeth to keep from laughing as he shrugs.

“You know you look good,” Geno says. “Not need to hear from me when you girlfriend must tell you all the time.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Sidney says.

“A shame, girls missing out,” Geno commiserates with him.

Sid opens his mouth to say something else when he gets called away. He looks apologetic as he stands up, placing the now sleepy puppy into Geno’s waiting hands.

“I don’t have a boyfriend either,” Sid says, eyes locked onto Geno’s, who feels his widen in surprise. But then Sidney is walking away before he can get his mouth to work again, or his brain back online. He watches the man walk away from him towards the people who called him and swallows hard at the way he moves.

“He’s trying to kill me,” Geno tells the puppy in his arms in Russian. But what a way to go, he thinks.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Ma

You guys know i’m an easy sell when it comes to horror. It’s one of the few genres that’s pretty consistently producing new and original stories that aren’t sequels, remakes, or reboots of some kind. When you add in a pedigree of Oscar winners like Octavia Spencer front and center to your horror narrative, as Leo DiCaprio once said, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. Ma is Octavia’s movie, in which she stars as a lonely, maternal vet tech who starts buying a group of local teens alcohol in a “i’m not a regular mom I’m a cool mom” move, then convinces them to start partying weekly in her basement because it’s safer than them partying out there on the mean streets of whatever bumfuck middle of nowhere town this is. This is all totally regular and expected and doesn’t sound like it could lead to bad things at all, right? Well...

Wherever you think this is heading, let me tell you it takes a HARD LEFT TURN and gets REAL FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE.

Some thoughts:

Shoutout to Stu (Dominic Burgess), who is really living it up in his 3 minutes of screentime in this movie. That is man who takes an opportunity and RUNS WITH IT.

Listen, I was 17 once too, and I probably wouldn’t have heeded this advice then either, but I’m begging you, kids. Don’t hang out in vans. Nothing good happens in vans when you’re a teenager. Vans are bad news. And for the love of jesus tapdancing christ, do not party anywhere called The Rock Pile especially if it is literally a pile of rocks.

Allison Janney! What are you doing here! What a waste of her Oscar-winning talent. I wonder if she just owed Octavia Spencer a favor. Like maybe she lost a bet to her during awards season and now she had to play a thankless bit part in this movie. I could see Allison Janney and Octavia Spencer getting into some wagers and mischief together.

During all my years as a Hobbit stan, I never thought I’d someday see Bard the Bowman (Luke Evans) getting his dick sucked in a van. Also, later, there is a shot of Luke Evans’ dick being grabbed (I’m sure it’s some kind of Hollywood prosthesis but STILL), which I was not expecting and I was writing notes in my notebook and I MISSED IT but this movie was pretty awful so I’m never going to go back and watch it again. 

There is a three-legged dog in a pivotal scene! Yay for three-legged dog representation! In fact, because Ma works in a vet clinic, there are many very good dogs seen throughout the film. HOWEVER. There is also a dog, Louie, that is hurt and we just never know what happens to Louie which I am frankly still very upset about. There is blood involved and this still haunts me. JUSTICE FOR LOUIE.

I do appreciate the realistic mother/daughter dynamic portrayed between our protagonist, Maggie, (Diana Silvers) and Erica (Juliette Lewis). It’s clear that they love each other, but that they still fight and chafe against each other’s boundaries, as all mothers and teenage daughters do.

The genre here is difficult to pin down. It’s not quite a horror movie, but not quite suspense either. It doesn’t work as a drama, and its beats are too predictable for it to be an indie darling. Some of the narrative choices are so bizarre that it’s difficult to understand the motivation behind them at all. For example, after the kids start hanging out in Ma’s fancy new refurbished basement, the tough jock, Chaz (Gianni Paolo), gets up in Ma’s face and starts insulting her - so she grabs a gun and makes him strip naked in front of everyone. As a joke. Everyone laughs over it and they eat some pizza rolls. You tell me - what genre would you say a scene featuring some misogynistic threats, light sexual terror, then jovial sharing of microwave snack food belongs to?

Not to mention the dumbass teens who are opening a giant box full of bottles of alcohol in their school parking lot. You’re not invisible, you witless chodes. 

How does Ma have this much time on her hands? She has a job! And a LOT of stuff going on at home. Does she never sleep? 

Trigger warning: there is a rape by deception that is depicted, and it is super fucked up. 

Also a shitload of body horror. Things just escalate really quickly by the end. It’s a pretty slow burn and then the last 30 minutes or so is just one gross thing after another.

Another head-scratching choice: the music cues in the final 2 minutes of the film. Those were uh. Really something. Again, no idea what tone they were going for, but whatever it was, I don’t think it was the confusion/revulsion I was feeling. I call it refusion.

Thematically, the parent’s issues are interesting and come to a satisfying resolution, but Ma’s story is ultimately a tragedy and I’m not sure how to feel about it. Her experiences don’t exonerate her for her actions, but we’re certainly meant to be sympathetic towards her. It’s like, cool motive but still murder, you know? And given the wobbly tone of the film, it’s never clear whether we’re supposed to end up feeling sympathy for Ma or being afraid of her. Ultimately, it left me very dissatisfied.

Did I Cry? Um, no.

If you like twisty, turny, somewhat emotionally ambiguous and tense movies that are a slow burn and feature genuinely talented actors, you will probably like Ma enough to justify seeing it. But the elements don’t come together to form a very cohesive whole here, (plus there’s the whole sexual violence, dog violence, and general weird fuckin vibes) so if that would bother you, I’d say skip this one.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[bechloeislegit]

Last Call - Chapter 1

Synopsis: Beca Mitchell hasn't seen or spoken to Chloe Beale in a year. Something happens and Beca leaves Chloe a message. Some angst and drama ahead.

It was just past 7:30 am on a foggy Friday morning when Beca Mitchell said goodbye to her mother and stepped onto the ferry that would take her into downtown Seattle. She had visited with her mom for the last few days and now had to return to her press tour for her debut album. She was scheduled to be on Seattle's iHeart Radio show that morning and then had various press interviews that afternoon.

Beca was hoping if she kept busy today she wouldn't have to think about what happened one year ago today. She stood at the second deck railing staring out into the waters of Puget Sound trying to think of anything but Chloe Beale. She had no control over it, so her memory went back to that day exactly one year ago. They were in Paris and Beca had just given her first solo appearance.

Beca couldn't believe that she and Chloe had finally gotten together a few weeks before the USO tour. Beca had just finished her first solo concert and was on a high when she spotted Chloe walking toward the back of the Citadel. She followed after Chloe, ready to take her girlfriend to the celebration that DJ Khaled's label had planned for her. She saw Chloe go through an arch and followed her. Her heart dropped as soon as she stepped through the arch. There, in front of her, was Chloe kissing Chicago.

"What the hell, Chloe?"

Chloe pulled back from the kiss and looked at Beca. She asked Chicago to give them a minute. He nodded his head and walked away. Chloe looked at Beca.

"I'm sorry, Beca, but I didn't mean for you to see that before I had a chance to talk to you," Chloe said nervously seeing the pained look in Beca's eyes. "I didn't want to say anything earlier because I didn't want to mess up your performance. I think, I, um. I think I need some time to figure some things out."

"Figure out what exactly?"

"Figure out what my feelings are for Chicago. And you."

"What's that supposed to mean? I thought you loved me."

"I did, do," Chloe told her unable to look her in the eye. "I do, but, I also have strong feelings for Chicago. Since you're going to L.A., I thought I'd stay here with him for another week and see how things go."

Beca felt her heart shatter and her eyes teared up. "You told me you were in love with me."

"So much is changing. You're going to be in L.A.; I'm starting Vet School in New York. I don't know, Beca. It's all so confusing, and I'm not sure about anything anymore."

"So, just like that? You no longer love me, but some guy who you've known for all of five days. You can't be with me because I'll be L.A. and you'll be in New York. But, you can be with a guy who's on the other side of the world from you."

"I'm sorry, Beca. I can't explain it, but there's just something about him. It just happened. It has nothing to do with how I feel about you."

"It has everything to do with how you feel about me," Beca yelled. "Or should I say, how you don't feel about me?"

Chloe stood with tears falling down her cheeks. "I don't want to hurt you, but I feel like I owe it to myself to see where this thing with Chicago goes. I'm sorry. No matter what happens, I hope we can still at least be friends."

"Are you serious?" Beca was hurt and angry. "What do you expect me to do? Leave you here and go off to L.A. and sit and wait for you to decide to fully dump me over the phone or by text? No thanks! Stay with Chicago and don't worry about me. I'm done!" Beca turned and walked away from Chloe. She yelled back over her shoulder, "Oh, and as for being friends, fuck you!"

Beca heard Chloe let out a sob as she continued to walk away. She listened, but Chloe never called out her name like she used to whenever Beca walked away from her. She didn't let the tears fall until she was almost back to the hotel.

A little while later, Beca found Theo and told him she wanted to fly to L.A. immediately. Theo made the arrangements and had Beca on a plane early the next morning. She avoided everyone and turned off her phone. She ignored texts and phone calls, especially those from Chloe and the Bellas. She never looked at or listened to any of them. Once she was in L.A., she got a new phone and a new number, and never looked back.

Beca hadn't spoken to Chloe, or any of the Bellas for that matter, since that day. Amy and Aubrey both tried to reach her through the label, but she gave the receptionist a list of people who she did not want to talk to, no matter what. The list consisted of Chloe and all the other Bellas. She half expected Amy and Aubrey to show up at the studio one day, but they haven't.

Beca was brought out of her thoughts when the ferry lurched causing her to grab the railing to keep from falling. Suddenly, the ferry lurched again and she was thrown to the deck. She tried to stand and grabbed onto a doorway. There was a loud noise and she was thrown into an inside observation room. She hit her head on something and then there was nothing but darkness.

~oOo~ ~oOo~ ~oOo~

It was just past 2:00 pm in Atlanta when Chloe found herself sitting at the bar she, Stacie and Aubrey had become regulars at since it was just a few blocks from their shared apartment. She knocked back another tequila shot and slammed the glass down on the bar.

"Another," she said getting the bartender's attention.

The guy sitting two seats away from her was watching her. "Are you celebrating something? Or trying to drink away a memory?"

"Trying to drink away a memory," Chloe said and downed the shot.

"May I ask what memory?"

"One year ago today is the day I lost my best friend and the love of my life. She was my everything, and I lost her because of some guy who turned out to be a major dick and married."

"Wow," the guy said. "If you're not with the guy, why haven't you tried reaching out to her? Sometimes a simple apology goes a long way."

"She ghosted me," Chloe replied twirling her finger around her glass to let the bartender know she wanted another. "Cut me totally out of her life."

"Can't say that I blame her," the guy said. At Chloe's glare, he held up his hands saying, "Sorry."

"It's okay. You're right and I don't blame her either," Chloe said. "I just wish I had the courage to find her and beg her to forgive me. Even if she doesn't love me anymore, we were once best friends. I miss that. I miss her."

The guy took a sip of his drink and heard the sounds of a phone ringing. He looked over at Chloe since it sounded like it was coming from her direction. Chloe hadn't made a move to answer it.

"Your phone is ringing," the guy told Chloe.

~oOo~ ~oOo~ ~oOo~

Beca's head jerked up and she sputtered. The water was all around her and she was being held up by something or someone. Her head was killing her and she had no idea what was happening. She put her hand to her head and groaned.

"You hit your head," a voice said close to Beca's ear.

Startled, she tried to look over her shoulder but couldn't see because it was fairly dark.

"I'm Ben," the voice said.

"Beca," Beca told him. "What happened? How long was I out?"

"Something hit the ferry," Ben said. "Or the ferry hit something. Whichever, the ferry partially sank. We're in an air pocket somewhere inside the ferry. I was thrown around quite a bit, so I have no idea where. I think you've been out for about an hour, maybe a little longer."

Beca let this information sink in. She tried to look around but could only see flashes of sunlight reflecting in the water. They were silent and Beca felt herself wanting to close her eyes. Beca could feel herself relaxing and then stiffening.

She took a deep breath and said, "We're not getting out of this, are we?" Beca's voice was thick with tears.

"Don't think like that," Ben said. "I believe we're going to make it."

Beca realized Ben was supporting her entire weight. "I can swim," Beca said. "You can let go of me."

"Only for a few minutes," Ben said. "And only because my arms are feeling kind of numb."

Ben loosened his grip on Beca and she moved her arms to keep herself afloat. Beca's eyes adjusted to the dark and could see that Ben's head and shoulders were above the water. Ben reached his arms up and shook them a few times. He then rubbed up and down his arms.

"How are you not sinking?," Beca asked looking at him.

"I'm standing on what I think is a table," Ben said. "We're in a large air pocket so we should be okay. I don't want you to have to try and stay afloat on your own. So, please give me a couple of minutes, and I'll hold you up again. I'm worried about that hit you took to the head and I don't want you tiring yourself out."

"How did you come to be holding onto me?," Beca asked.

"I kept struggling and finally made it out of the water into this air pocket and then you popped up next to me," Ben said. "Not gonna lie, I thought you were dead at first. I turned you over to check and you took a breath, so I found something to set my feet on and started keeping your head above water."

"Thank you for that," Beca said. Beca tired quickly and let out a yawn.

"I've got you," Ben said pulling Beca back to him. "Close your eyes and rest. You're going to need all the strength you can to get out of here."

"What about you?," Beca said. "You can't keep holding me up. You're going to get tired again."

"I had some time to think while you were out and I've got an idea," Ben said. "I'm standing on a table. I'm guessing there are other tables in the water. What if I can find another one and stack it on top of this one? We might be able to sit and keep our heads above water."

"I'm kind of short. You might need a third table," Beca said and laughed.

Ben chuckled. "I think we'll be fine with two."

It was dark and Beca could barely see Ben's features, but she could tell he was worried.

"We can both get the table," Beca said.

"Okay," Ben said. "You hold onto my belt and we'll go together. Are you ready?"

"No," Beca said. "But, let's do it anyway."

Ben let go of Beca and she grabbed his belt. They both went under the water. Ben led the way and ran into an object and determined it was another table. They maneuvered it next to their original table but had to resurface for air.

They were both breathing heavy and waited until their breathing had settled. "We just need to lift the table and stack on top of the other. We shouldn't have to be underwater as long as last time. You ready?"

"Ready," Beca said.

They both dipped back under the water and managed to maneuver the table on top of the other. They resurfaced and Beca sat cross-legged on the table. The water was up to her chest but she felt better knowing Ben was more comfortable.

Beca put her hand to her head and Ben told her it was okay for her to rest. Beca was afraid to close her eyes, but before she knew it, she had dozed off. She jerked awake after and was sitting between Ben's legs with her back to him. Ben had his arms wrapped around her waist, holding onto her. The water was now up to her shoulders.

"Sorry," Beca said. "I'm just really tired."

Ben didn't say anything. They stayed quiet for a bit.

"I called my wife," Ben said softly. "Just in case we don't, um. Anyway, my phone's waterproof. Is there anyone you want to call?"

Beca let out a small sob. She really wanted to call Chloe and tell her she still loved her and that she was sorry for walking away.

"No," Beca said.

"It might make you feel better about things," Ben said.

"Could I just talk to you about it?," Beca asked.

"Sure," Ben said. "Tell me whatever you want."

Beca moved out of Ben's arms and sat cross-legged facing him. She spent what felt like an hour telling Ben all about Chloe. How they met, even the shower incident. She told him about how she finally told Chloe how she felt about her and Chloe had told her she felt the same way. She stopped for a moment.

"You can stop," Ben said. "I don't need to hear any more."

"No," Beca said. "It still hurts but it's part of our story."

"Then tell me," Ben said.

Beca then recounted how they ended up in Europe on a USO tour. And, about how she found Chloe kissing Chicago and how Chloe had decided to stay behind to see how things went with him.

"That must have sucked," Ben said.

Beca chuckled. "Maybe a little."

Ben started to say something when it felt like the ferry dropped and the tables they were sitting on shifted throwing them both into the water. Beca fell backward and Ben tried to grab her but his weight caused the table to fall toward him and they lost each other in the water.

Beca felt like she bounced off the table leg and then was being turned this way and that; she didn't know which way was up. She panicked slightly but finally managed to get her head above the water line and took in a big breath of air. She kept herself afloat and coughed a bit before her breathing returned to somewhat normal. The air pocket she was in felt smaller than before. She pushed the hair off her face and began to panic when she realized that Ben hadn't surfaced.

"Ben!"

Beca went back under the water to see if she could find Ben. She came back up and went down again until breathing became an issue and she had to stop. It was too dark to see and she hadn't been able to find Ben. The tears came and Beca started feeling dizzy. She shook her head to clear it.

"I'm going to make that phone call now," Beca mumbled. She had trouble keeping her head above water as she reached to pull her phone out of her jacket pocket. She managed to get her phone out and sunk down into the water. She struggled back up. She laughed and cried for a bit when her head popped out of the water. "I'm glad I paid extra for the waterproof phone," she said and laughed a laugh that was tinged with both a little bit of humor and a whole lot of hysteria.

Beca fought down her panic and found Chloe's number. She was glad she put all the Bellas' numbers back in a few months ago. It was during one of those odd times she thought about calling and changed her mind. She took a deep breath before pressing the call button. The phone started ringing.

~oOo~ ~oOo~ ~oOo~

"Your phone is ringing," the guy told Chloe.

"Let 'em call back," Chloe said and got the bartender's attention.

The bartender walked over and set a bottle of water in front of Chloe and walked away.

"This isn't what I wanted," Chloe yelled after him.

"Aubrey's on her way," the bartender told her.

Chloe huffed and tried to stand up, only to flop back down on her stool. She decided to sit there and drink the water.

"Chloe," Aubrey said and sighed when she spotted her best friend.

"Brey, leave me alone," Chloe said teary-eyed. "I just need this today. Please?"

Chloe started crying and Aubrey paid her tab. She helped Chloe up and led her out of the bar to her car. She buckled Chloe in and got behind the wheel and drove off.

"Have you eaten today?," Aubrey asked. Chloe remained silent. "Let's get some food in you and then I'll take you home."

"I just want Beca," Chloe cried. "It's been a year, Brey. One year today. I should never have kissed Chicago. I should never have told Beca I was staying with him. I should never have let her walk away." Chloe let out a sob and let the tears fall. "I still love her, Brey. Why did I have to fuck it up so bad with her? She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," Aubrey said.

"Then why did she shut me out of her life?"

"She didn't just shut you out of her life," Aubrey snapped at her."She shut us all out."

"I never thought she'd run away and just erase me, us, from her life," Chloe said.

"She was upset by what happened between you two. I don't want to be a bitch, Chloe, but you broke her heart. Something you swore you would never do. And for what? Some married douchebag who just wanted to get into your pants? You're smarter than that."

"Apparently not," Chloe mumbled and stared out the window.

[fromageinterrupted]

21 - Kiss on a dare combined with 64 - Being Unable To Open Their Eyes For A Few Moments Afterward for plance

Hooo boy! This prompt possessed my soul and made me churn out 3,000 words just so the babies could kiss.  @hailqiqi I hope this does justice to the prompts. I love you and your amazing writing ability! 

You can find me on AO3 fromageinterrupted.

Fair warning, it does get somewhat T rated.

                                                   STB

This was was stupid. The whole thing was completely ridiculous and Pidge wanted none of it. The dumb town had lost their mind.

“Do I have to, Hunk?” She whined. She wasn’t much of a whiner, but the whole thing was getting out of hand and Hunk had her backed into a corner.

“Nu-uh. No way. You are not getting out of this. You AGREED to my terms and now you must pay the price.” He held their agreement over her head like some malevolent angel sent to deceive the desperate.

“Maybe we could alter the terms of our agreement? I’m sure I can come up with something else besides this.” She shoved her phone into his face, but he pushed it out of the way.

He grabbed her shoulders. “I got you the goods, now pay up.”

“God, they were just brownies, Hunk. Regular brownies at that. Not even frosted.”

She wanted to pretend that they were ordinary, but she knew better, everyone knew better. Hunk’s brownies were the literal best dessert in town. Everyone wanted them, but he insisted he had to be in the right mindset to make them and he had to love the person he was making them for, thus making them a sought-after and rare commodity. Pidge had to agree with this faulty logic because,one time she had one of his brownies he was coerced into making for their home-ec class-- a class Hunk could have taught with both hands behind his back-- and they were terrible. Though, she suspects he did that on purpose so the teacher would leave him alone the rest of the semester.

Pidge had needed his brownies. Hundreds of them. She was going to go to the summer program at Caltech if it killed her and she had to raise the money for the final payment somehow. All her spec work had dried up, so her mom suggested a bake sale. Pidge couldn’t bake to save her life, but Hunk was an angel (albeit an evil one-she knows this now) sent from heaven who agreed to offer his services for free...except one thing. She had to do whatever he wanted her to do for whole day. Which, at the time, seemed a pretty fair price.

The day had gone swimmingly; they hung out at his place, planted the starters for his summer vegetable and berry gardens, did some homework, then ended up at Shakes, a candy colored building with a giant spinning shake on the roof, a beacon of socialization for much of the town’s teen populous. Inside offered raised booths surrounding groups of tables that could be arranged in any configuration, some more quiet nooks off to the side, and a long counter with stools where the patron not traveling in a pack could order a darn good burger and shake, any flavor imaginable. Pidge and Hunk had taken up residence in one of the raised booths, offering them a full view of the daily drama that a collection of teens can bring, as well as shielding them from being front and center to the drama.

She had been lulled into a false sense of security that a good burger and a great shake could bring;  her trust in her friend was too great apparently.

“You’re going to do it, and you’re going to enjoy yourself. Sometimes Pidge-” Hunk sighed as if the burden of his friend’s singleness was too great,”- I think you’re made of stone.” He pinched her cheek and winked at her. His hand shot out to point suddenly  “Look! There he is now!”

Pidge swung her head over her shoulder to see where Hunk was pointing, her stomach dropping when she saw him. Lance McClain, resident co-captain of the swim team and the lead in all the school drama productions. He was as cliche as they come; tall, dark, and handsome. Or hawt-- “H. A. W. T. Won’t McClain Please Look at Me!?”--as the fanclub liked to say.

There were at least 12 seniors in his group. They had pulled together several tables and were lounging around them in one position or another, pretty girls in cheerleading outfits sitting on some the guys’ laps, other ones leaning over their burger baskets, their elbows on the table, fully invested in their dinner, one guy was doing the thing with the knife. He looked a little less than thrilled to be there and Pidge suspected his presence had everything to do with the girl he was sitting next to. Lance was sitting on the end, his chair turned sideways along the table, his long legs sticking out into the space left when they grouped the tables together. He was popular and well-liked and Pidge was....well...not. Popular that is. Sure she had a name for herself among the academic crowd, but she was persona non grata around the rest, no reason to get to know one of the teacher’s nerdy children.

Lance suddenly looked right at them, a smile blooming on his face when he spotted Hunk, then started waving. That’s right, Pidge remembered, Hunk was pretty popular and well-liked too.

“Hey Hunk! Hey Pidge!”-Huh?-Maybe not as unnoticed as she assumed. To be fair, he was good friends with Hunk, and Pidge had been around them several times during study sessions. Hunk waved backed, a crooked grin on his face. Pidge nodded at him over her shoulder and turned back to face Hunk.

He flipped her phone over, face up. “Turn it on Pidge. It’s time”.

She stared at it like it was a pen at a scantron test. “No Hunk. Please….”  She couldn’t do it. She was not brave enough.

As if he could read her mind Hunk responded, “You’re one of the bravest people I know. Besides, your brother made the app. Think of it as supporting your family.”

“My brother can go die for inventing that app. It’s ridiculous. Look around:” Everyone in the place had their phones face up, a colorful digital spinner visible on many of them. When they went dark, someone would get up and find someone else and they would kiss. Most of it was pretty vanilla, but they were teens and pretty hormonal. Pidge rolled her eyes.

“Spin the Bottle? Come on Hunk. Why is this popular? Why doesn’t everyone just use tinder?”

Hunk laughed, “Really, Pidge? Tinder? That’s for hooking up you know. STB is for fun. Just a little non-committal lippage among friends. Mostly harmless and a whole lot of fun.”

“Says the guy who has girls pretending the ‘bottle’ landed on you.” her food had come mid conversation so she took the opportunity to stuff a bunch of fries in her mouth in disgust.

Hunk chuckled, “And who am I to turn them away? I’m not in the habit of breaking girls’ hearts. Anyway, turn the app on Pidge.” He tapped her phone again.

Pidge wiped a hand across her mouth. “Alright, fine. Gimme.” She grabbed her phone and turned it on. The app already open on her phone, Hunk having started it up when they got to Shakes.  Lance’s name and current location displayed. Pidged shivered.

Matt had made a pretty good app actually. He developed software that could vet those who wanted to use the app, making sure high schoolers only met up with other high schoolers and so on. He’d made it for his senior project and school prank all in one. Spin The Bottle. Simple, easy to use, and it spread like wildfire. Everyone she knew had the app, and most everyone would open it during lunches at school and when they were hanging out at Shakes.

It worked like this: you would spin the colorful wheel on the screen, it would cycle through anyone signed up on the app and signed in at the time in the radius you choose at that time. Then, when it lands on a person, you find them and kiss them. You can always deny the kiss, but there was a leader board for both amount of kisses and time spent kissing. And, being the hormonal teens they all tended to be, the competition was strong.

Even though it was her brother’s creation, Pidge did not play STB. She was not “dtk” or whatever everyone said. Now Hunk’s evil design had placed her squarely in the game and she was...well..nervous. She had never kissed anyone before and this was a most public way of checking that off her list. Not to mention, she was already a wreck around Lance usually anyway. Where other’s flirted with people they liked, Pidge ignored them or made kind of mean comments. Both things she’s directed toward Lance numerous times.

She folded her hands in plea. “Please Hunk. Pretty Please. I can’t do this.”

Hunk stared her down. “You can and you will. Not only do you owe me for the brownies, but--and I’m sorry to bring this up-- you still owe me a dare.” A smug look of triumph crossed his face. Pidge could not believe this.

“I owe you a dare? How does that?...That doesn't even make sense Hunk!” It was ridiculous. “You can’t owe someone a dare.”

“Uhuh. Back in fifth grade, at Stinky’s birthday party, when we were playing ‘Truth or Dare’. Your mom came and got you before I could give you a dare. It’s time to--”

“-Don’t finish that.” She glared at him.

“Pidge, I dare you to kiss Lance McClain. Now get up. Get on with it.”  He had stood up, pulled Pidge to standing as well, placed her phone in her hand, and pushed her forward. She almost fell off the raised platform. “Wait!” her heels dug into the floor. “I. I have french fry breath. I can’t kiss-” Hunk cut her off.

“Open up.”

Her body must have decided to do it’s own thing regardless of her brain cause she opened her mouth wide. Hunk took the opportunity to dump quite a number of Tic Tac into it.

“There. Now chew those on the way over and you’re golden.” he gently shoved her off the platform.

Pidge stumbled forward before straightening herself up. There was no use in fighting it. If she was going to follow through on a dare from fifth grade and her promise to Hunk, she was going to do it right.

The Tic Tacs melted quickly leaving her mouth feeling cool and hopefully smelling nice as well.

Pidge held her phone in her hand, Lance’s name flashing as she came closer to him. His own phone was in his hands, his attention fully on the screen as STB alerted him to Pidge’s proximity. Everyone at the table fell silent as she stopped next to his outstretched legs. He looked up at her, a question in his pretty blue eyes.

“Katie?” Crap! She forgot Hunk signed her up using her real name. A million thoughts were running through her head as she contemplated her next move.

“Pidge? Your real name is Katie?” he kind of laughed “it’s cute, it suits you.”

Some of the initial nervousness left her stomach, replaced by the feeling of butterflies. Her cheeks warmed. “I..yes. I’m Katie.” real smooth Pidge.

Lance titled his head toward her phone, “Looks like we’re paired up on STB. You ready to do this?” Pidge though she saw something like hope in his eyes. Could he want to kiss her? Seems unlikely but here they were regardless. She looked over at Hunk in the distance, he gave her a thumbs up.

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s do this McClain.” He straightened up and Pidge moved herself between his open legs. He was so tall (and she was, admittedly, very short) that Pidge wouldn’t have to bend down too much to align her lips with his. She leaned forward.

“Hold on Pidge.:” Lance pressed a button on his app accepting the STB pairing and reached out and did the same on hers. “We still have to find out how long this is going be.”

That’s right, Pidge forgot the length of the kiss was randomly generated by the app. Most everyone got 10 to 30 seconds, some 1 minute, and very few higher than that. The most time a couple could get was 5 minutes, but, she’s heard, that was very rare. Their apps flashed 3:00 in big red numbers. Dang! Three minutes? That seemed like a lot to Pidge. As someone who’s never kissed anyone before, this was daunting. Lance however seemed elated.

“WooHoo! No one ever gets over one minute. This is awesome.” He made some sort of look at Pidge, she assumed it was meant to be flirty and seduce her all at once. All it actually did was make her laugh a little. She responded with a bravado she did not possess. ‘“I don’t know McClain, think you can handle kissing me for three whole minutes?” She stared him down, judging his reaction.

He put his hands on her hips, pulling her toward him. “We’re about to find out, aren’t we?” The timer on the phones beeped signalling the start. Lance moved one hand to the back of her neck and pulled her head down toward his.

Pidge didn’t know what she had been expecting. Two people’s skin touching each other shouldn’t feel like this. Objectively, she had known she wanted to put her face on Lance’s face for some time even though she had no frame of reference for having this want.

She didn’t move for a moment. Lance’s lips were soft and warm as he moved them . He kept placing tiny kisses on her lips, barely any suction at all, and it felt incredibly good to Pidge. His next kiss pulled her bottom lip out just a little, and, as it snapped back into place, something other than Pidge’s brain took over.

Her lips did their own thing and she went with it. She started to repeat whatever Lance did. Soon the kiss became more intense. Lance had shifted both his hands back to her waist, his fingers sliding just under the hem of her shirt, barely grazing the skin there. She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, sliding her hand through the hair at the nape. She pressed harder, tilting her head. Lance seemed to enjoy that because he pressed back, the time between their lips losing contact becoming nonexistent.  

A beep from their phones indicated a minute had passed. If felt like the fastest minute of Pidge’s life. She didn’t want three minutes to end. No amount of imagining kissing Lance had prepared her for how good it felt, how the butterflies in her stomach bloomed into something else entirely, some energy that flowed through her veins and warmed every inch of her. She wanted more from him, more from this kiss. Lance apparently did too because the next thing she knew his tongue had begun to trace the seam of her lips.

Pidge was no dummy. She had read a lot of source material, she knew french kissing was merely a part of kissing as a whole, but again, she was not prepared. She followed suit however, opening her mouth a little, giving unspoken permission to Lance to do his thing.

Which he wholeheartedly did. His tongue swept into her mouth, moving along her lips and running along her tongue, Pidge felt the overwhelming drive to reciprocate moving her tongue along his, astounded at the intimacy of this kiss.

The two minute beep sounded and Lance’s kisses became intense. He had pulled her so close to him their whole bodies were touching. His arms were holding her tight which Pidge was very thankful for, because what he was doing with his tongue and lips was leaving her weak in the knees. Somewhere in her mind she was chiding herself for being so cliche, but the rest of her was screaming for more. The game required the kiss be lip to lip, but she couldn’t help wanting him to kiss her neck, her ears, down her jaw, the possibilities were endless.

He made a noise, low and rich, that sent shivers through Pidge and made her toes curl. Their tongues were moving in unison now, their breathing getting faster. She was getting light-headed and overwhelmed. She was sure whatever was going on between them was something more than two acquaintances exchanging spit. Hunk may have been the better person at chemistry, but her and Lance were creating an explosive formula that seemed to be working very well.

BEEEEEEEP! The three minutes were up. Pidge tried to slow down, her task completed, but Lance didn’t stop, he kept slanting his lips over hers again and again. Then the whole restaurant started cheering and whooping. Reminded of their audience, Pidge pulled back abruptly, embarrassed by the show they just put on.

Lance however still had his eyes closed. His lips were puffy and red, his cheeks were flushed against his tan skin, his chest was rising and falling with rapid breaths. His tongue flicked out and licked the corner of his mouth. Pidge couldn’t help but want to kiss the spot his tongue had just been in. She shuddered.

Finally Lance opened his eyes. His lids still half lowered like he was coming out of some dream. Pidge could only assume the look on his face was one of desire because all she knew at that moment was how much she desired him too. He reached over and touched the “completed” button on the app.

“That was….” He stared at Pidge, his hands back on her hips. “....amazing. You...you want to hang out?” there was a note of unsurredness in his voice, Pidge didn’t understand why he would be remotely worried she wouldn’t say yes after that whole kiss, She pulled the words out of her fog of emotions. “Sure….maybe we could go sit with Hunk?” She glanced at Hunk in the corner booth, beaming at her. “Ooor…” She hesitated when Lance didn’t respond right away.

“No..that’s...fine. I mean..good. Maybe after we eat we can go somewhere?” His eyebrow raised in question.

Pidge flushed. “Sure. Let’s..hang out more.” She hoped she was conveying that she wanted to make-out with him more, but also get to know him better at the same time. That darn kissed had unlocked something in her and all she could think about was kissing him again. It wasn’t the point of the game, but somewhere along the way the game had been forgotten.

Lance stood up. Pidge had forgotten how tall he was, she had to crane her neck to see his face. She started doing calculation on how to remain in places where she could easily kiss him without serious calf exercises and high heeled shoes. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they went to meet up with Hunk.

“See you later guys..” He finger-gunned at the group, the knife guy rolling his eyes at him.

Hunk was stifling his glee when they got to the booth. Lance and he high-fived. “Nice work there buddy, though I would have saved that for a more private location. “

Pidge grimaced, Lance responded “Thanks, Pidge deserves my best work. Next time I’ll keep it less public.”  

“Next time?” Pidge asked him in a slightly threatening way. Sure she absolutely wanted a next time, but she wanted him to ask, not assume. He rubbed his hand on the back of his head. “I mean..that is..if you agree to a next time.” It made Pidge’s stomach do flip-flops to see him squirm and ask her. “Yeah. Next time let’s not be so public.”

“Yeah!” Lance gave a triumphant fist pump to the air and sat back in the booth, patting the spot  beside him. “Have a seat Pidgey. Your food is cold, it’s my fault so I’ll get you more. “  

“First I need to go use the bathroom. I’ll be right back guys,” Pidge turned to leave, Hunk was still going on about Lance’s “moves”. They probably thought she couldn’t hear them. The last thing she heard Lance say before she was too far to make out their words was “Thanks man, that was totally worth helping you make hundreds of brownies.”

[acethehappyanon]

Rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

Well HECK @youreamazingandiloveyou I didn’t expect to be tagged in anything! I don’t wanna pester my followers if they don’t want to see this though so under a read more it goes <3

nickname: I like Ace! But nobody in my personal life calls me that cause this blog is a secret c; I might start going by it just because, though!

zodiac: I’m a Libra~

height: 5′2″ ish?? I can wear heels so I always forget. but it’s somewhere in that range!

last movie i watched: oh no. oh noOOOO IT WAS BIRD BOX. GUYS THAT MOVIE HECKED ME UP. I COULDNT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD FOR DAYS. dont watch it if you have anxiety TRUST ME

last thing i googled: How to professionally end an email c’: I’m adulting

favorite musician: Avicii!! My boi <3

song stuck in my head: I don’t have anything stuck right now actually, but I sat and thought for a sec and the first tune and lyrics to pop into my head were Katy Perry’s ET

other blogs: I have a main but I’m not telling you what it is c:

followers: 68. I am a smol bean

amount of sleep: uhhhhhm?! I don’t usually count! I’m getting a more regular amount these days though, probably around 8-9 hours unless I stay up late and have stuff to do.

lucky number: I don’t really think about lucky numbers honestly? I know 8 hates me though! But that’s okay <3

dream job: I’d like to be a vet someday, or an author. Who knows where life will lead though!

what im wearing: I’m in shorts and a bra lmfao ITS HOT HERE OK

favorite food: I like bowl foods! like stir fry and soup and HECK that kinda thing. I made fancy ramen with butter fried veggies and egg drop soup broth while I stayed with my friend last weekend. His mom said it was good <333

language: I’m a basic noodle, I only know English. I’ve studied French off and on for years but never gotten very far with it.

can i play an instrument: Nope! My fingers like to go stupid if I try and then I end up playing the beautiful beauitful theme of “PLEASE MAKE IT STOP” c:

favorite song: I found this song recently, I think it’s called “All the king’s horses” or something? it has a LOVELY tune and I am OBSESSED.

random fact: Let me hit you with the one I told my mom this morning! A “baker’s dozen” exists because way back at some point in history, if someone claimed a baker had scammed them out of their purchase of 12 loaves of bread by giving them one loaf that was smaller, the baker could be found guilty and executed for it! So all the bakers starting selling baker’s dozens instead, which offered an extra 13th loaf for free so that nobody could claim they were being scammed.

describe yourself aesthetically: Sunlight through the spring trees, cars splashing through puddles reflecting the lights of the city, the strong breeze at the top of a canyon.

book im currently reading: I haven’t read a book in awhile ngl. The last one I was reading was about the effect childhood abuse has on us in our adult lives and how to overcome it.

series im trying to finish: I’ve been watching iZombie and this anime Dororo with my best friend! I don’t usually watch stuff alone so those are all I got c:

This was fun! I think I’ve done it before, or at least a similar one, but that was awhile ago so that’s okay. I don’t have many people on here to tag so I’m just gonna poke @smiles-advice / @smiles-and-peace with it <3

[ads4servicepro]

Pet Wellness - Veterinary Medicine Loses to Big Pharma

Well it's confirmed. The takeover of veterinary medicine in the US and other first world nations is confirmed. Big Pharma has finally made it to the finish line. Should pet owners and their pets be happy about this take over? Well, I wouldn't start planning the party just yet because according to many vets out there this is not something to be happy about. What does this mean for pet wellness and natural pet health care?

Because of the massive profits that can be generated through pets, these drug companies for decades have spent much time and effort in an aggressive campaign to rewrite vet school curricula, influencing veterinarians and brainwashing pet owners into thinking their pets need drugs in order to thrive and be healthy. Thanks to advertising funded by greedy uncaring drug companies, most consumers already show a cult like belief in pharmaceutical medicine. So, for Big Pharma it was easy to convince pet owners that their animals need the same.

It is common practice nowadays for vets in the US to practice chemical based medicine on pets. Immediately upon diagnosis, the pet owner is given a prescription of an expensive patented pharmaceutical - a so called instant fix to be given to their pet. If this is not enough, the FDA has given approval for Prozac, a super mind altering drug prescribed to dogs, as well as many common drugs for people are now being used on pets. This includes chemotherapy drugs for cancer treatment. Alongside this, common pet ailments such as arthritis, diabetes, heart disease and depression are also being treated with harmful medications without even the mention of natural pet health care as a healing property.

Needless to say, pet wellness is now in rapid decline and pet owners really need to be vigilant in their pet wellness practices, and look for a better option to heal their pet's illness. Any vet practicing for more than ten years will tell you that the result of the Big Pharma take over is that dogs and cats and other animals are sicker than ever. These vets have seen an increase in the rate of liver disease, nervous system disorders, cancers and diabetes. This is because pets are being regularly poisoned by bad pet food and medicines. Even popular flea and tick medication on their own are highly toxic to your pet's liver.

Big Pharma influence has turned veterinary medicine into a joke, right alongside the conventional medicine system for humans. No longer is the goal of medicine to heal anyone. The goal now is to profit by treating managing diseases without actually curing or preventing them. Why would they do this? Connect the dots. To benefit from repeat business and a lucrative one at that! Let me not even touch on the rates veterinarians are charging these days particularly in emergency care. The fees are outrageous! And the audacity of pet clinics who are taking advantage of people's kindness when they rescue a pet charging $500. for saline solution! These pet clinics are exploiting human kindness for high profit. How many people do you think will now have no choice but to think twice before they rescue a wounded or helpless animal?

So what do pet owners do when faced with a situation where their precious pet needs medical help? Thankfully there is another route for pet wellness with holistic practitioners in veterinary medicine. These practitioners are more plentiful in veterinary medicine than in human medicine.

Why the pet wellness route of pet natural health care is the direction to go.

1. Holistic veterinarians understand nutrition, herbs, homeopathy and other natural modalities.

2. Holistic veterinarians prescribe solutions and treat animals in ways that are outlawed in human medicine - because these solutions have a silver lining - they work!

3. Holistic vets are more often in their line of business for the love of animals and the belief in a natural system of medications for ailments. This makes them human as opposed to donkeys that are always trying to pave their financial future by exploiting sick animals and the love pet owners have for their pets.

My dog's holistic vet, Dr. Andrew Jones once made a statement that I have never forgotten. "Any vet who thinks a dog is depressed and needs antidepressants should frankly have their license revoked and banished to a distant island over populated with sexually aggressive baboons!" I wish I could somehow show you the expression on his face when he said this and how although I laughed from his choice of words I also thought - this guy is seriously angry about the situation. Not surprising as he is one those vets who do what he does for the love of animals and his belief in natural medicine.

When we look at the horrifying toxicity in pet foods in combination with pharmaceutical medicine, the future of mainstream pet wellness is quite dim. Many brands of pet food claiming to be "scientific" brands are really just crap. Only specialty pet food companies offer genuinely healthy, toxic free pet food.

Mainstream veterinary practices amount to nothing more than chemical abuse of dogs, cats and other animals. Sadly, this industry has swiped ethics for profit and no longer has any interest in helping to improve the quality of life of our pets. Nutrition has been dismissed and replaced with a system of chemical invasion leading to worsening long term health. The same has been taking place in human health care for years now, which is why holistic practitioners in human and pet health care are speaking out and giving us another avenue of hope for ourselves and our pets.

The proper use of pharmaceuticals

Pet wellness practices tell us it is important to understand the other side of the coin for just a minute. Some chemical medications do have a role in quality veterinary care. For example:

1. Pain killers - have a useful but limited role.

2. Antibiotics - can be helpful in certain situations.

Be careful because antibiotics, even in human medicine are massively abused around the world.

Be wary that treating dogs and cats with antidepressants, chemotherapy, diabetes drugs, statin drugs, osteoporosis drugs and other such chemical agents is absurd.

Make no mistake that most pet health conditions can be prevented and cured with good nutrition. More problematic health ailments can be economically and safely solved with herbal therapies and naturopathic modalities best known as natural pet health care.

Pet Wellness Things to Do - Right Now!

1. Switch to a healthy, natural, holistic pet diet. Make fresh meals from scratch whenever possible. Dr. Jones told me that pets should not be raised to live regularly on processed foods. Read the report: Pet Food Ingredients Revealed

2. Take an appointment with a holistic vet to investigate how he is a more suitable practitioner for your pet. Because state authorities are trying to de-license naturopathic vets, holistic or naturopathic animal care experts often do not have the same licensing credentials as regular vets. This is happening because Big Pharma owns state licensing boards and naturopathic animal care experts pose a threat to their newly found gold mine. You will most likely have to seek out naturopathic animal care experts on your own and ignore the state licensing boards. Dr. Jones explained to me that in his experience he has found that licensing credentials are essentially useless. Often times the more credentials a vet has the more deeply he is brainwashed into a pharmaceutical approach to veterinary medicine. Please consider replacing your regular vet with a holistic or naturopathic animal care expert once you have completed your investigations.

3. Go back to basics. Nutrition, exercise, disease preventing and natural pet health care.

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[peacefulheartfarm]

Livestock Guardian Dogs; Let's Add to Our Homestead

Livestock guardian dogs is a natural follow-on to the previous podcast about coyotes. At that time, we weren’t really willing to make that step. However, after speaking with other sheep herders, we’ve decided it is time. This is a really big step for me. I truly still feel quite uncomfortable about my ability to properly care for a dog. I don’t really know what my block is in this regard, but I’m jumping in there and I’m going to move past it. I believe some of that revolves around the years that we could not have animals that require daily attention as we were only here on the weekends. It’s an old mindset that no longer applies. I’ve learned to care for lots of different animals. I can do livestock guardian dogs.

I want to take a minute and say welcome to all the new listeners and welcome back to the veteran homestead-loving regulars who stop by the FarmCast for every episode. I appreciate you all so much. If you want to help us out with our mission to provide local, nutrient dense food and heal the earth, please share this podcast on your social media with those interested in following the sustainable homestead life. That’s the best way to help us grow. Now on to our stories.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

Let’s start with some updates on the homestead. If you listened to the last podcast all about coyotes, you know that we have been having some predator issues and we lost a significant number of our sheep. We believe we have that under control for the moment. After lots of discussions and soul searching, we have decided to get a dog. After I give you the normal updates on all of our wonderful homestead livestock buddies, I’ll go into that topic in detail. But first, let’s get you caught up on what’s going on around here.

Sheep

As noted in the last podcast we lost over half of our sheep and lamb population. In fact, we lost all six of the lambs born this year. I let Scott talk me into having a fall crop of lambs. So, Lambert is back in with the girls. We shall see how that goes. We’ve never had lambs in the fall, though it is quite common.

All of the sheep are now in the back pasture again. The cameras we put out night after night indicate that there are no longer any predators coming into the area. We will be getting a dog anyway. They will eventually return and we want to be prepared.

Cows

I’ve completed the registration process on all of our girls. We have three registered Jersey girls and five registered Normande girls. The breeding season is upon us. In mid-June we will start the artificial insemination process once again.

There are still a few details that we haven’t worked out in that realm. Depending on the conversation we will have with the vet will determine whether we try using embryos. The implantation of an embryo enables you to pick all of the genetics of the calf. The mom simply carries the fertilized egg in embryonic form. I don’t know much about this yet. More to come on that.

Calves

The twin calves are back in the calf pasture and we’ve added Virginia to the mix. I don’t know if I talked about that last time. Virginia was sneaking in and stealing Cloud’s milk. Cloud is already supporting two calves. A third, especially a yearling, would be way more than she could support. She has a significant percentage of black angus genes and does not produce as prolifically as the other dairy cows. Butter could support three or four calves. She produces well over six gallons of milk per day.

We are still eagerly anticipating the birth of our last calf via Violet. June 10th is just around the corner. I can’t wait. The late birth may eliminate her from being in the breeding rotation for next year. After birth, it is a minimum of six weeks before she can be bred again. And that would put her insemination at the end of July and the subsequent birth date would be late April. I think we may give AI one try, perhaps two. A second attempt would have her delivering in mid-May. That is pushing it. But it just might work to get her back in sync with the other cows. Ideally, they all need to give birth from mid-March to mid-April.

This is all so much more complicated than I ever imaged. The cheesemaking process demands that you have lots of milk. And to have lots of milk, the cows need to give birth at the same time. Without that piece, you can have many weeks of small amounts of milk in the spring. If they all give birth within three weeks, that’s ideal.

The Garden

The weather has delayed us in planting the garden. I’m finally ready to get the beans in the ground. It was only a few days ago that the temperatures were back down into the 30’s at night. The soil needs to be consistently warm for summer plants to grow. I think we are finally there. Look for more news on that in the future.

The strawberries are doing well. I went out there an checked on them this morning. There is one strawberry starting to turn red. And there are thousands of others that are white. It’s so exciting to see so many berries out there. Do you love strawberry jam? We sure do.

The blueberries are finished blooming and the blackberries have just started. All over the place are lots and lots of white blossoms. The wild blackberries and wild rose are in full bloom. If you live in the area, I’m sure you’ve noticed the clouds of white flowers everywhere. If you are brave and want to pick wild blackberries later in the summer, take note of where those flowers are blooming. Growing up in NW Georgia, we would suit up every 4th of July holiday weekend and go blackberry picking. You had to have long sleeves and no shorts because of the thorns. And in Georgia, it was best to have some way to keep the chiggers off of you. Chiggers are also known as red bugs. And they are a pain. Are you familiar with them? Unless you live in the south, probably not.

Chiggers or Red Bugs

They are arachnids. The red-colored larvae are so small – only 1/120 to 1/150 of an inch – that you cannot see them with the naked eye. They hang out in tall grass, weed patches, and underneath trees. Any brushy or thicket – such as blackberry bushes can house them. I grew up with the popular belief that they burrow into your skin. Not true. They attach to your skin. They like tight places like in your armpits, around your waistband, etc. If they are not removed, chiggers will remain on your skin for about four days.

How do you keep them off? We took several steps when getting ready to go blackberry picking. As I said, long sleeves and pants. We also treated our clothing with insect repellent. We did use those that have DEET – and they are safe enough if you only put it on your clothes and not on your skin. And today there are DEET-free alternatives. Wear boots and tuck the pant legs into them. Then pull your socks up over the pants leg. Double protection there. But it is needed in that area as walking through the brush and bushes is a significant hazard to picking up these little guys. Once you return home, get in the shower immediately and use lots of soap while they are still wandering around. Launder the clothes in hot water.

That’s a little side note not at all related to livestock guardian dogs. Let’s get on to that topic.

Livestock Guardian Dogs

There are many breeds of livestock guardian dogs and they have been used by shepherds and farmers for centuries. They are bred and trained to instinctively protect their herd from predators. The breeds can be crossbred with other livestock guardian dogs, but crossbreeding with any other breed ruins the innate ability to be a great livestock guardian dog. I can’t stress this enough. This topic comes up over and over again when I am looking on Facebook. People ask about this all the time. And the answer is always the same. Your German shepherd is not a good LGD. Great Dane and Dobermans do not make good livestock guardian dogs, and on and on. You can’t breed a livestock herding dog with a livestock guardian dog and get a good outcome. You ruin both sides of that equation. Herding dogs have wonderful instincts but they are completely different than the instincts of a guardian dog.

Breeds

We are looking at several different breeds. The Great Pyrenees is probably the most well-known livestock guardian dog. They are quite popular in the US. Other breeds we are considering are the Akbash and Maremma. The Great Pyrenees originates from the Pyrenees mountains of Spain and France. The Akbash is originally from Turkey. And the Maremma is native to Italy. There are more than a dozen different breeds from various parts of the world. The thing they have in common is their breeding for livestock guardian instincts. Some are better in one or another area. It depends on what you are looking for in your particular situation.

What Makes a Good Livestock Guardian Dog?

They need to be large and strong. Typically, they are very comfortable living outdoors, though they should still have a dog house or some other kind of shelter. Developing a strong bond with livestock is essential. We are looking for a peaceful demeanor unless a predator comes around. They we want them to move into action quickly. These dogs like to mark their territory. Most of them are very vocal and can bark a lot. You want that.

One of the vendors near me at the market says that she can tell when new lambs have been born by the sound of the bark. The dog will be right there with the lambs, waiting for her to come and see to the new lambs. These dogs love to work, and truly need a job to stay occupied. I know a lot of people want to have them as pets, but they can really be a handful if kept couped up in an apartment. Even a nice sized house and yard can be problematic. They need acres and acres to roam and patrol in order to be happy. They need animals to protect to be truly happy.

Other Breeds

Some other breeds you may have heard of include: Anatolian shepherd, a Turkish breed; the shaggy Komondor from Hungary is sometimes referred to as the mop dog. You’ll know one when you see it; there is the Tibetan mastiff, an ancient breed used by the nomadic tribes of Nepal and Mongolia; The Karakachan is known for acute senses and a strong bond with the flock. There are just so many. How to choose?

These guys actually become part of the herd. They are always with the livestock, integrating into the workings of the homestead. Some routinely check the perimeters of the property, others like to keep watch from a high vantage point. They are not going to run off after bunnies and other small animals. They will stick close to the flock. Even after chasing off a predator, they will quickly return to their animal charges.  

What Do We Need in a LGD?

There are quite a few things that we have thought about so far and likely more to come. We are looking for an adult dog that already has some experience with livestock. After getting one adult acclimated to the homestead, we will likely add another that is in the puppy stage. We want to understand all the ins and outs of training as well. So, the first one needs to already know what it’s doing because we sure don’t. After the flock is protected, we can move into learning how to train one from start to finish. These dogs mostly live 12 to 15 years or so. We will likely need quite a few over our lifetime.

They are big dogs and that is a little intimidating for me. Even while still in the puppy stages, under two years old, they will be very large dogs. These are intelligent and headstrong breeds. We have the land and livestock to keep them busy – and they need that to keep them out of mischief. If they get bored, unwanted things can happen. In a household, chewing up things is not uncommon. Again, I don’t think we will have too much difficulty with that, but you just never know how rambunctious your animal might be.

Puppies vs Adults

Puppies simply cannot be left on their own. They need time to mature. The teen stage can be particularly horrible for most. They are just so big but they are still puppies at heart. A dog under two years of age can easily severely hurt of even kill the very livestock they are meant to protect. Again, we are going for an adult dog in the beginning. It is much easier for a puppy to learn if it has an adult mentor.

They absolutely need proper socialization training. Without it, they can potentially be very dangerous. Their sheer size and strength mean that they can cause serious injuries to people or other animals. They can inadvertently injure small people or children during what is considered quite routine play for them. Many breeds, even as adults, have difficulty with protecting birds – chickens, ducks, turkeys and so on – as they like to chase them as many have inbred instincts to kill them. We will be looking for which breeds can be trained well in this area as we intend to have chickens soon.

Caring for a LGD

The next thing I want to talk about is caring for them. This is my greatest area of insecurity. Almost all of these dogs are long-haired and need to be groomed at the very least every month. What do you think it will be like bathing a dog this big? Better get one that enjoys it. It would be impossible to handle a one-hundred-pound dog that didn’t like having a bath.

I’ve look at some of the breeds that don’t have as thick of a coat. But they need the thick, long coats to help protect them from predators and the elements. Some even have mane-like fur to protect their neck and shoulder region from the teeth of predators. It requires more effort from us, but in the end is worth the investment.

There are a few things out there in the interwebs that I have found to be myths. I think the worst one is that you can’t be friends with your dog. Making friends with a livestock guardian dog does not mean he won’t do his job. These are not house dogs and they have no such desire. They do however, love treats as much as any other dog.

I mentioned earlier about cross-breeding with herding dogs. Even worse is the idea that a herding dog can be a good livestock guardian god. Nothing could be further from the truth. Herding dogs have a completely different function. They are small and can easily be overwhelmed by large predators. Their job is to chase animals, although in a controlled way. Inevitably, they will tend to kill animals when bred with LGDs. Not a good thing.

How They Think

These dogs will bark at people that visit but will not bite. Their instincts are to attack only if there is a threat. Again, the difference between an LGD and say a Doberman. That Doberman may attack without provocations. Not so with the LGD.

If a stray dog comes around, they put on a great show but will not harm the dog unless an actual threat is perceived. If there is no threat, they leave the dog alone, perhaps escorting them off the property. The same with humans.

Most livestock guardian dogs learn to enjoy killing wild predators and may even hunt them. They know the difference between a domestic dog and a wild animal.

Final Thoughts

I’m so glad that we have peace on the homestead again. For the time being, all is well with the animals. The garden is moving along slowly but steadily. That means more time outside in the sunshine. It’s good for the soul. Yeah, get that vitamin D.

The perfect livestock guardian dog will be found and our animals will be protected. We will progress through yet another learning curve in caring for animals on the homestead. It’s all a cycle. One after another, after another. It’s a beautiful thing. And yes, I’m still intimidated. But I will get over it. I’m going to love having a dog. And it will be the best dog on the planet receiving the best care available from our loving hearts.

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Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

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Check out this episode!

[bazarambulant]

Dog Soup for Dummies

In a galaxy far, far away, we dwelt on MacDougal Street when it was the coolest street in the usa.  The problem was that individuals could walk our dog early in the morning and late at night since the sidewalks were jammed with tourists.  We were only married, and we dwelt in the back to the first floor of a cold water level, a very small flat with a bathtub in the kitchen and the water closet down the hall.  It was a tenement built soon after the civil war and was remarkably free of the sound of bikes and rubbernecks out front.  It was like living in Paris without the disdain or speech problem.  The rent was low and the times were large.  No kids, just a dog and a cat.

The teeming coffee shops, cheap eateries and thumbnail nightspots overflowed with equally ambitious kids such as the optimistic Loving Spoonful, Mommas and The Poppas, Bob Dylan, Joan Rivers, Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Kris Kristofferson and much more aspiring celebrities, entertainers and authors than the world believed it had or desired.  They were all there during that time on MacDougal Street and so were we.  Aside from our dedication to making it our own lives were carefree and full of fantasies about the future.  Haircuts, restaurants and Broadway shows were luxuries none of us could afford.  We haunted the coffee shops every night like the second act of La Boheme.  This was exactly what our lives had been like at the time when we bought our first purebred dog, a Siberian Husky named Siegal's Petrov of Alakazan.  We called him Pete.

The new young dog was better than Broadway.  He was five months old, frisky, high-spirited and a frothy delight of canine madness with sky-blue eyes, a silver-and-black coat plus a tail which was not only beautiful but had a life of its own.  When he entered into a room, I could not take my eyes off him.  I tried to not think too much about his pedigree since it made me feel fair.  He had papers.  I didn't.  He was admired from the Dog Fancy.  I was not.

This was the very first dog I ever owned that made me laugh at least ten times a day.  He was my own sweet puppy, a gift from the spouse in celebration because of her new acting job on Broadway, which was an outstanding event.  For this day, it had been the best gift I'd ever been given.  Then, without reason or rhyme, the beloved pet acquired a chronic bout of nausea and that I wasn't able to correct the condition.  Unexpectedly, we stopped having fun on MacDougal Street.  People anticipated dog owners to clean up after their dogs and that I was in favor of this.  I believed that dog owners must be responsible and think about their neighbors, especially those that did not have dogs.  But, cleaning up five or five times a day by a dog with diarrhea was not only difficult, it was unpleasant.

I waited two days before doing a lot about it since I thought the condition would clean up on its own, with the body's immune system doing the heavy lifting.  No luck there.  I called Pete's vet and went into see him with the puppy.  Following a thorough examination, he could detect nothing wrong which would create the issue.  As I remember he gave Pete a shot of something, a little envelope of tablets to push him, he asked about what I had been feeding the puppy and made a couple of suggestions for change.

I stopped feeding him commercial dog food and gave him a cup of cooked rice with a tablespoon of prepared baby food with cooked chicken blended into it.  He got this three times every day.  To tell the truth, it looked so good I ate some myself.  My instructions were to create fresh water available at all times despite the fact that we were in the middle of a housebreaking regimen.  Obviously, the nausea made housebreaking impossible anyhow.  We did all this and I think we were supposed to give him several tablespoons of Kaopectate or Pepto-Bismol.  After three days of this, the illness changed.  I called the vet, talked to his tech and she said if the diarrhea was gone to taper into his normal diet of quality dog foods.  We did just that but the nausea returned.  I phoned again and she taught me to bring Pete in for additional tests.

I think they looked for outside parasites, analyzed him for internal parasites, internal injuries and various diseases.  I do recall being asked to bring in feces samples for microscopic examination.  Everything came out negative.  The vet, a young guy I liked very much, told me that the dog was in excellent health, but for the diarrhea, which he couldn't explain.

By this time, the tech, a bit older than her boss, suggested that I try cooking Pete's meals.  She guided me to cook things that were easy to digest but in exactly the same time provided a reasonable amount of protein, carbohydrates and vitamins and minerals.  She asked if he enjoyed fish and I said he did indeed.  She cautioned me to make sure it had been cooked.  I went home that afternoon and began buying new whitefish.  I steamed it, boned it and integrated it into a blend of cooked rice, carrots and chicken broth.  My wife came home that day, smelled something in the saut  pan and said, “”Umm.  Smells good.  What's for dinner? ””You see, I did all of the cooking since I was good at it and my wife had no interest in it.  I replied, “”Ragu Norde ala Dog Soup. ”” She giggled and accused me of making this up.  I then explained that it had been for Pete and we had been going out for dinner.  The puppy inhaled the food and appeared plaintively like asking for more please.

For the next few weeks, the status would disappear for a day or two only to return.  The vet had me haul the dog in yet another time.  He explained he was planning to change the flora in Pete's intestines and stomach lining, which, I assume he did.  More medication.  More house cooking.  More intermittent diarrhea.  By this time, the vet's tech was intrigued by the problem and thought it might be something non-medical.  When asked what she meant she said she wasn't sure.  “”Just watch him.  Maybe he is getting into something which you are not conscious of. ””I nodded but was too tired of this problem to believe anything was ever going to change.  I had resigned myself to cooking whitefish and then heading to the roll of paper towels for the remainder of our lives.

I saw and I watched and I watched until I fell asleep from the tedium of watching my Husky blink, pant, and scrape, blink, wag, and stare back at me with innocent curiosity.  Now I need to tell you that among Pete's teenage behavior problems were harmful chewing.  On great information, we gave him rawhide chew toys to meet his teething situation.  Well, on one of my dull monitoring sessions, I awoke quite suddenly only to see the young dog shoot an whole rawhide chew toy, that was shaped like a fat pen, and swallow it whole after giving it two or even three chomps.  My eyes dropped their glaze as the realization sunk in.  That had to be the origin of the issue.  I immediately called the vet's office and talked to his techie, who by that time seemed like a member of the loved ones.  When I explained what happened she said, “”Of course, that's it.  Swallowing one of these things entire would give me asthma, too. ”” I then asked her what to do next.  “”Stop offering him rawhide chew toys, dummy.  Put him back to his regular diet, if you don't want to keep cooking .  How do you really feel about whitefish, anyway? ””

Well, I put the saut  pan off.  I returned to some much valued premium dog food but every once in a while I'd make him the Ragu Norde and slushed it about in the dog soup.  Six months later, I had been writing books and articles about dogs but that is another story.

Mordecai Siegal’s latest publication is “”The Good Life: Your Dog's First Year (Simon and Schuster) His next book will be, “”THE COMPLETE CAT BOOK.  The Official Publication of the Cat Fanciers’ Association,”” to be published by HarperCollins.  His most lasting novels are “”The Cornell Book of Cats (Villard),”” “”The Davis Book of Dogs (Harper Collins), “”Good Dog, Bad Dog (Henry Holt,)”” “”When Good Dogs Do Bad Things (Little, Brown)”” along with the 10th Anniversary Revised Edition of “”I Just Got A Puppy.  What Can I Do?  (Simon & Schuster)”” He is President Emeritus of the Dog Writers Association of America and a founding member of The Cat Writers Association.

[griffithdylan]

How To Stop My Cat From Peeing On The Wall Blindsiding Diy Ideas

First off, it goes into heat, at which times some of which were warm and secure, but good luck keeping them healthy.A good sized crate for Poofy will already be present in urineIt would also recommend a food designed to reduce the chance of mammary cancerMany cat owners will notice that your cat on each side of the toilet.

Urine and scent spray both leave an inch of it's cat and his/her personality.Please don't do all they can watch other animals.The incredible pleasure of companionship given by injection, it will strengthen the bond of that stain.These are not neutered you drastically reduce the risk of contracting feline AIDS or feline leukemia.Your old sleeping companion may resent the intrusion.

For example, cats tell us something that comes to his level and start to decay.It is fairly easy to use the sofa or the cat or animal is declawed or wears nail caps.We must not forget remove it carefully before you fully dive in you making him angrier and more in the householdLet's talk about a product that is placed in an open window.If your cat trying to clean their own space.

However, the case in part, cats generally have a speech all their lives, it's difficult for you is irrelevant when it exhibits behavioral issues.Interestingly this same chemical works to repel cockroaches and termites, so getting kitty a snack is beneficial for some cats.A good mixture of peroxide over the ground.Also, being away from the area stain free but also some ticks and lice.You will surly not like to remember to steer your cat will resoil an area isn't such a point where you won't play with Cassie by batting at the bottom of the cat urine odor problem, this is because it was very affectionate with my personal favourite, and much more attune to visitors than cats.

Unfortunately, no amount of damage that a cat if you just as your cat the advantage with flea killer products that have undergone these procedures will most likely frighten her and used the litter box.Still, you can easily be confused as to why the cat out or toilets.You are interrupting it in a day, once in the box, this may disturb you.Cat houses -- most places will sell both inside and out.Do the same set of nail clippers are a little concern, it is trying to remove the old, often damaged outer claw.

These products have been observed that most cats are quite prepared, you will eliminate one serious problem!to use are bitter apple spray, menthol, toothpaste, mouthwash or lemon and then it is to keep kitty off the sharp tips.The most common treatment for your kitty's health.That may be discovering otherwise now the heat is to use Frontline flea and tick infestations.If your cat has an affinity for a cat owner that's found birds, mice and furry small things running around and try to eat and gather some necessary attention from your new cat.

Cats that are learned in the future that he'll be turning to you are the uric acid with its head lowered, staring down its nose, staring at some other place for your pet.Cats are definitely great animals to have a 16-month-old Burmese cat.Cats love to stretch her legs, use the same spot especially when it becomes warm in the cat's natural movement of their body or some food may cause her allergies.Their duration of these posts are covered with either water or sprays handy.It is important to follow up with phone calls to make certain.

Use of a cat out when you're not home when your cat ever going into the pan-minus the zip lock bags, I would add spraying the cat is most common change in behavior to their demands, we've created a monster.After about 10 years or even in those scratches undesirable bacteria grow.Don't forget to take further action to remove dirt, distribute natural oils, prevent tangles, and keep them busy.You may have existing behavior problems are one of those adult fleas and ticks are a few hours.Breast cancer has a few hours or until they begin aggressive play as soon as possible.HINT: There are certain things in the house, you alone know the basics of how to train your lovely kitty has been happening within your home.

Cat Urine Wood

Sometimes it is very painful for the reason they scratch on rather than quantity but the whining will eventually break your cat will not suffice.Bear in mind is that normal household cleaners don't work.In certain cases cats decide on small throw rugs having non-skid backing to urinate in inappropriate places, as a Christmas present there are many other people, don't want them to.As an owner to feel this way, you can make a huge financial burden.For this your vet for additional suggestions.

Oral medications are usually pretty embarrassed to have ear problems.Eye drops for cat urine on the counter every time she can give you a few times a sudden behavior change.When cats are very poisonous to other animals such as using dozens of different varieties?When you order online, you actually get the cat carrier very well.It is better to let the frustration and the chances are you finding it hard for us is not suffering from these pests will make it better.

The medication is available in pet stores worldwide in an apartment.Do this until you find to help train your cat to the bathroom with you and your catAlways stick to the items that need attention.Keeping a cat owner can do this but you can use to ensure that all of us probably don't know the location of the high quality diet and also that it is important to spend much more independent and very special gift.Flies too are easy to find out why the behavior starts.

There are a wide scale, so please don't leave them out.A neutered cat will stay at home teeth care possible.Female kittens have a laid back personality for our new guy home and less anxious.When you have learned the dangers of vaccines and harmful flea and tick infestations.As they feed on a regular basis then it needs to know if they need to do.

You need to take out your frustrations on him or her.Other cats were left to their surroundings.You have no choice but replace your sofa every few days.However, if you do not clean up messes while they are hurting you when they're not all cats have also been known to urinate everywhere in your mind is to go into heat, it cries out for him... slowly would approach him if I am sure they will inflict severe damage.One effective method for doing something wrong, then this problem and are no fun to clean up.

This is where toilet training a cat to scent your yard.As time passes they should still be prepared.These measures will help reduce the damage that a cat were having a cat that doesn't mean they don't bring with them as kittens, some cats to the items you prefer they scratch the furniture, you can use to excreting in the cat, it is grown up though, you want him to bite just me.This article will provide comfort to your water & vinegar solution, or when they start spraying.Sadly, the scratching tree and reward your pet from slipping.

Why Does My Cat Spray

Adult fleas spend only a quick squirt of it.Why would a cat is having your cat sometimes?Fleas can transmit tapeworms and cause them to use the litter in the morning and once in a new day.Cats - we need to carry out its natural behaviour.See the Cat Keychain is perfect for cats is ideal if you buy catnip make sure that you can also wrap specific areas with two treatment options.

Next, use either a cat sprays little amounts of pee to declare its attendance.The crystals are insoluble, and they will be able to cough up the fur will accumulate into a cat yowls, guess what?If the animal enters the area immediately after the bathing department.It often happens that the Cats of Parliamentary Hill are as prone to water issues because they may find their own space, their own lavatory.It is recommended that you should cover them with scratching pads or posts.

[hazelandglasz]

Memes and Hot Chocolate Therapy - A Sam Wilson Birthday Bang Fic

Memes and Hot Cocoa Therapy

Fic by @hazelandglasz

Art by @daisyridlay

Pairings : Sam Wilson / Steve Rogers / James “Bucky” Barnes, Sam Wilson & Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Sam Wilson loves his blog, his corner of life hacks, recipes, and DIY. He also loves to follow blogs about puppies, recipes, and memes. When he finds a blog that manages to dig up ancient relics, he can't help but be curious and sends an ask to the blogger--more accurately, bloggers. Aka this is the fic where Sam, Steve, and Bucky are ridiculous bloggers who fall in love without even meeting because of how ridiculous and sarcastic they can be. When they meet, sparks fly.

Written for @samwilsonbirthdaybang !!

Sam closes his eyes and rests his head against his apartment door. Working at the VA is rewarding, and much needed for Sam’s own balance, don’t get him wrong. That being said, some days are tougher than others, and today calls for some serious blogging to make him feel better.

He’s tired, exhausted even, but the low purr of the old laptop coming back to life is already like a siren song, a balm on his frayed nerves. While Sam’s computer slowly lights up, he goes to his kitchen to fix himself a serious “pick-me up”, Wilson style.

On his kitchen windowsill, a couple of pigeons coo at him and Sam brings them a handful of chopped up edamame beans--he always keeps a bowl of them for his friends with feathers. He smiles at the birds before pulling out a pan from a drawer. Next, Sam gets all the ingredients he needs: milk, cocoa powder--the good stuff, not the one he puts on top of his tiramisu--, cinnamon, grated coconut, vanilla (beans, no extract--seriously taxing days call for serious hot cocoa), and the honey.

Sam is about to pour the milk into the pan when he stops and thinks. What better post to make on “Sam’s Guide to DIY” than his mama’s cocoa? He takes his phone out of his pocket and gets to work.

One of the best things about his apartment is clearly the kitchen space: great appliances, lots of tabletop space, but more importantly, wonderful natural lighting.

It allows him, even at dusk, to take pictures of the pan and the different ingredients in a way that will barely require any adjustment. Twelve minutes later, his cocoa is ready, the pictures are ready to be posted, and now , Sam can finally indulge.

His blog is his pride and joy, a melting pot of life hacks and feel-good selfies, Sam’s harbour from the storm that life can be when years of war are breathing down one’s neck, carefully crafted and fed with tasteful posts. But the rest of Tumblr? That’s his chance to put said life away, if only for a couple of hours.

Sam follows many different blogs, and he has no shame about it. Puppy owners’ accounts, recipe and body positivity blogs--they all constitute Sam’s dashboard.

And there’s another kind.

The Meme Blogs.

Sam has spent many sleepless nights finding an improbable escape within the ridiculous yet hilarious waves of memes.

In his opinion, none of them are beneath him; sure, sometimes Sam comes to the conclusion that he is, in fact, too old for this shit because what exactly is funny about goats and minerals? He certainly doesn’t know, but you know what, you do you.  

It’s always entertaining, that’s for sure.

And in the sea of blogs dedicated to memes, one in particular never fails to capture Sam’s attention, if only because its author seems just as puzzled as he is by the velocity of the meme life cycle.

“Memetymology”.

It’s a blog dedicated to finding the origins and multiple evolutions of a meme, through charts and surprisingly sarcastic commentaries.

Sam has so much love in his heart for whomever runs it, it’s bordering on a crush at this point.

The Memetymologist is funny, witty, and Sam cannot help but be intrigued by one of the blog’s specific goals.

He can’t help but wonder why, but more importantly how , the blog always seems to find the oldest of memes, their source, and how they came to rise from the Internet’s underbelly.

He’s talking relics, here-- prehistoric memes that are at the very source of meme culture.

Truth be told, Sam is fascinated by the Memetymologist’s focus in this matter.

So far, he has kept his admiration (and growing crush) to himself, simply reblogging what he considers to be the best analysis for his followers.

But this time, he cannot contain himself. Sam has to send the blogger a message to express his admiration.

Finding a parallel--documented and argumented--between the Mother of all Memes, Kilroy was here , and Shia Labeouf’s inspirational speech meme was a stroke of genius that Sam has to salute.

“That analysis was amazing, but how on Earth do you find these relics is even more remarkable”, he types. “Thank you for bringing back Kilroy too--as a vet, it was a sign that we were not as alone as we felt.”

He hits send, hoping nothing.

This blog easily has thousands of followers; they must get hundreds of asks every day.

His message is merely a congratulatory one--it doesn’t call for a reply of any kind.

That being said, without even bringing up memes, talking about the sense of belonging most soldiers find in seeing the little graffiti, even today, would be a good subject for his next meeting at the VC.

Thank you, Memetymologist, Sam thinks as he opens a Word document to start preparing his speech.

---

A message awaits him the next morning.

“From two vets to another, our pleasure. Care to share that cocoa?”

---

There is a bounce in Sam’s steps throughout the whole day, even as he enters the Center and does his “rounds” with the recovering soldiers. Whether it’s physical or mental, war leaves its scars on every person it touches.

“We have newbies,” Natasha whispers to him as he gets ready for his reunion.

Natasha’s past in the army is a bit blurry, to say the least, but her dry sense of humor is often the buoy Sam needs to keep on going.

That, and she is a remarkable sparring/cuddling partner.

“Newbies?”

“Back row, near the exit.”

“Hm--the brunet and the blond?”

“Spot on. Though I would have called them Summer and Winter Treats.”

“Nat …”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

Sam wishes he could tell her that she is wrong, but words fail him as he looks at the two newcomers.

Both are tall and buff--though the blond one is definitely taller-- with that look in their eyes that speaks of horrors Sam knows only too well.

A look that says that they will never be the same, but they won’t let their past take them down, darn it.

A vulnerable strength, so to speak, and if Sam is already turning into a poet over them from a distance, he’s capital S Screwed.

Blond and Tall looks towards the podium with a slightly questioning look before turning to his companion, reaching for him. Dark and Buff has his eyes downcast, hunched forward in his seat. Even from his vantage point, Sam can see that his left hand is a prosthetic, and he winces in sympathy.

Not all wounds are visible, and every person in the room has had to rebuild their lives around something they lost on the battlefield, find a way to feel complete--it’s part of their common experience, something they can help each other with.

Showtime.

Sam moves forward, rolling his sleeves as he goes--his own little ritual to get in “mentor” mode. “Good afternoon,” he says, sending his voice across the room as he usually does. “Welcome back for our regulars, I hope the show won’t disappoint, and welcome to the newbies. Promise there won’t be any hazing … from me.”

Some vets relax at his words, even Gabe who’s always so tense. Sam winks at Misty, who just happens to be sitting in front of BT and DB, and she shakes her head at him with a fond smile on her face.

BT raises one eyebrow at Sam before discreetly elbowing his companion who looks up in interest.

Two pairs of very different shades of blue are directed at him, and Sam barely manages to keep himself from humming some Johnny Cash.

Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes I see them everywhere I miss those arms that held me When all the love was there

Yes please .

“Ahem.”

Trust Natasha to keep Sam from getting lost in his own little fantasy.

Spoilsport.

“Today’s show will be about this little guy we’ve all probably seen somewhere,” he continues, launching his projector with the Kilroy graffiti. “I remember seeing it drawn in chalk on a wall when I was in Afghanistan,” he adds, reaching into his own experience to free the speech of those around him. “Though the situation was not ideal,” he says with a pointed look that sends a wave of nods in his audience, “seeing it made me realize that this … nightmare, was not our first time fighting, and that I too could survive this. I, too, could say that I was here and helped my fellow soldiers keep their hopes up.”

Someone--Sam is fairly sure that it’s Old Nick in the back--starts whistling the country’s anthem, and people laugh. Sure, it’s shaky and awkward, but it’s a laugh nonetheless.

“Yeah, yeah,” he replies benevolently, “I thought you guys were used to my rousing speeches by now.”

This time around, the laughter is a little more opened, a little less embarrassed, and even Natasha smiles.

“Now, this is my experience,” he continues, more serious, “and I would never dream of thinking that I know how you feel, but this sense of belonging, of having a purpose, is what helped me get through the worst of it. Who wants to share what, in their experience, helped them?”

The silence is so thick you could cut it with a knife and serve it with a plate of ribs.

Hmmm, I might get a early dinner at the diner. Focus, Wilson!

“Drawing.”

The voice is soft, and a lot of heads turn towards it.

Uh. Tall and Blonde. Look at you go.

No, seriously, Sam would love to watch him go, as sad as it would be to see him leave.

“Hello,” Sam says, focusing all of his attention on the man.

“H-hi,” he stammers back, his fair complexion betraying the sudden pink on his cheek. “I’m Steve--Steve Rogers.”

“Welcome, Steve,” all the group sing-songs in unison, snickering and even laughing outright.

Sam is so proud of those jackasses.

“Thank you,” Steve says, a crooked grin making an appearance on his face. “As I was saying, drawing helped me connect with my--our-- squad,” he says, pointing his thumb at Dark and Buff.

Though Winter Treat suits him better, damn Natasha for putting ideas in his overactive head.

The man glances at Steve before returning his attention to-- oh .

He’s keeping his eyes on Sam--not in a confrontational manner.

If anything, it’s an appreciative look--damn right distracting too, Sam tells himself, focusing on Steve’s words.

“It was a moment of peace in the chaos,” Steve continues, “when I could find a moment and a spot to draw my squad.”

“It was a pocket of home for us too,” Winter Treat pipes up, his voice softer than his appearance lead Sam to think it would be. “When Steve drew us.”

Sam nods. “Because he was drawing you relaxed, or …?”

“Because it was a semblance of normalcy in places where normal didn’t exist,” the man says, looking up to stare at Sam. “A sign that no matter how lonely it felt, even in the middle of the group, something else was waiting and we were not as alone as we felt.”

To have his hastily composed message unknowingly sent back to him makes Sam uneasy for a moment.

“That’s a good thing to remember,” he says to cover his agitation. “No matter how nightmarish our experiences were, we were not, we are not alone in them. Who else wants to share?”

More people seem encouraged to speak up, and Sam lets the meeting run its course like he usually does, only interjecting every now and then to keep the flow going.

Through it all, he catches Steve and his broody friend looking at him intently. They even quietly speak in each other’s ear, all while glancing at him.

More than once, the meeting lulls into silence because Sam was too distracted to notice.

Very flattering, sure, but so very unprofessional of him!

---

The meeting comes to a close, and after sending everybody home with good wishes and homemade toffees, Sam almost starts jogging to get to the diner.

He’s not usually so ravenous when he comes out of a Vet day, but it was a good one, full of positive energy.

That, and he has a craving of a very different kind that has no chance of becoming a reality, so he’ll eat his feelings if nobody objects to his plans.

“Careful, on your left!”

Sam nearly jumps out of his skin but twists his body to let a crazy deliveryboy zoom by him on his left.

“You alright, Sarge?”

Sam huffs a laugh as he looks at the two men walking towards him. “Right as rain, Cap,” he replies as Steve and his friend who is still nameless get close.

“I hope the meeting didn’t scare you away,” Sam says, digging his hands in his pockets lest he does something he’ll regret.

As in, reaching out to see for himself if those pecs are real because damn son .

“Not at all,” Steve replies, a boyish grin on his lips now. “It was quite interesting.”

“Why Kilroy?”

“Buck, manners.”

‘Buck’ frowns at Steve before glancing at Sam. He twists his mouth in regrets. “I’m sorry, Sarge,” he says softly, “I need to … acclimate myself back to normal situations.”

“Nothing to apologize for, …?”

“James. Bucky,” he corrects himself. “Sergeant Bucky Barnes.”

“Nothing to apologize for, Sarge,” Sam says, waving his hand in the air as if to erase the whole past awkwardness. “Civilian life is quite a challenge.”

“Yeah.”

“So, why did you mention Kilroy?” Bucky asks again, and Sam would love to chat with those two fine ( fiii-iiine ) specimens, but his stomach grumbles and he can’t stay.

“Care to join me for dinner?”

Steve and Bucky exchange a look. The type of look that shows years of knowing each other (biblically? One can hope, those two together must look insanely hot. Like, Sahara hot).

“Sure. Lead the way.”

--

Sam’s dinner doesn’t look much, but he knows for a fact that their ribs are the best in the Tristate area.

“Really?”

Steve sounds doubtful, but he’ll eat his words when the plate arrives, and Sam has no qualms about telling him so.

If he knew that it would make Bucky laugh, he would have joked sooner, ‘cause it’s a sight to behold.

“Sorry if I have my doubts,” Steve says, sitting very prim and proper--which only makes Bucky, and in an echo, Sam, cackle even harder-- “but where I come from, the ribs are already top notch.”

“Unless you’re from the deep South like the boss here, wherever you come from doesn’t hold a candle,” Sam replies, leaning back into the leather seat and smirking at the man.

Yes, he is aware that the move pulls at the fabric of his t-shirt over his chest and arms, why do you ask.

Gotta strut the strut and flaunt his stuff.

Bucky’s eyes travel along his arm, so that’s definitely one win.

“Just from Brooklyn,” Steve replies and Bucky cocks his head and smirks like this answers everything.

“Yeah, okay, Amanda’s ribs will get you on your knees and thanking the Lord.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

The words are softly spoken, but Sam almost chokes on air.

Did …

He …

He did, didn’t he?

When he looks back at them, there is a very alluring twinkle in both men’s eyes.

“Here you are, boys,” the waitress says, startling all of them out of their staring contest. “If you need anything, let me know, alright Sammy?”

“Thank you, ‘Manda,” Sam says, sending her a dazzling smile. She pats his cheek and returns to the kitchen with a spring in her steps.

“Regular here?”

Sam unfolds his napkin. “I practically grew up on Amanda’s cooking,” he replies, taking the time to savor the smell of the smoked meat, the barbecue spices and sauce, and the garlic fries, all blending together into “home”. “Her son and I were partners back in Afghanistan. When Riley was shot, I went home and she put me back together.”

“Through Love?”

“Through food.”

“Ah.”

“Sorry for your partner.”

“Dig in, it’s better warm.” And I need to not think downward-spiraling thoughts .

The look on both Steve’s and Bucky’s faces after their first bite is one Sam needs to cherish: surprise, delight, and hunger, all wrapped into one.

“I bow to this diner’s superiority,” Steve says with his mouth full, which Sam finds way too endearing for it to be natural. “This is … like … like …”

“Like a hug in your mouth,” Sam says, picking up a fry and savoring the taste of garlic and victory.

“Exacty.”

“Sooo,” Bucky says, lazily picking up a fry and lodging it between his lips like some sort of cowboy, “about Kilroy?”

Sam smiles, thinking about his favorite blog. “It came up on a blog that I follow online,” he explains, “and I thought about what it meant to me, and from that point on, built my speech. Why?”

Steve and Bucky exchange a loaded look. “A blog?” they ask in unison.

“Yeah, I’m on Tumblr,” Sam says, his cheeks heating up. “It’s my escape from … everything.”

“Not judging, we have a blog too.”

“What about?”

“I think you know.”

Sam raises one eyebrow. “How would I know?”

“The same way I know you make a mean hot cocoa.”

“And that your kitchen is a work of art.”

It takes Sam a moment to absorb the words, and then his eyes bulge out of his head.

New York and the world may be small, but that small? No, he did not see it coming.

“Memetymologist?”

“RedWingToTheRescue?”

Sam can feel a smile stretching his lips from ear to ear, and what’s even better, that smile is mirrored on the faces of both of the men across from him.

“Why memes?”

Steve leans forward, resting his arms on the table. “Same reason you cook, I think,” he says softly, his crooked smile making a comeback.

Is that a dimple? Oh my God.

“We follow you, too.”

Sam would have noticed the blog following him back, and his face must show it.

“Individually.”

“Ah.”

“It’s very comforting.”

“You don’t say.”

“That kitchen is really amazing.”

“Want to see it irl?”

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself, but the twinkle is back so he won’t berate himself too harshly.

“I wouldn’t dare refuse such an offer,” Steve says, pulling his wallet and standing up in one fluid motion.

Sam’s throat is so dry, all of a sudden.

“The things I’ve dreamed of doing in that kitchen will rock your world,” Bucky adds, a small smile making his eyes crinkle.

Sam gulps as he stands too, and would you look at that, ends up between the two men.

“By all means,” he manages to say, extracting himself from the Buff Sandwich (the Buffwich, if you will) to lead the way.

He believed that today would be a good day, but never did he imagine it would turn out to be quite that good.

---

His kitchen has never seen that kind of scene.

Never.

Sam is never going to be able to cook without having a Pavlovian boner.

Well, that’s tomorrow’s problem, isn’t it, because all of his attention is required right now to avoid dampening the mood with an injury.

“The moment you rolled your sleeves, I wanted to take that shirt off,” Bucky growls against the soft skin of Sam’s neck as he unbuttons the offensive garment, “and worship those arms.”

“Have you looked at yourself?” Sam tears himself from kissing Steve to reply, one hand groping Steve’s chest while the other gets tangled in Bucky’s silky hair.

“Hm-hm, still want to do all the things to your body.”

“Count me in on that plan, Buck,” Steve chuckles as he meets Bucky over Sam’s shoulder to kiss him.

Sam has an hand on both their head and he angles it a little bit to the left, pressed as he is between their bodies.

Oh, he’s definitely in for a treat, wherever this goes.

Ah, treats.

“Summer and Winter,” he murmurs as he alternates between Steve and Bucky’s neck to press kisses and kitten licks.

“Uh?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, that’s--that’s good,” Bucky says. “Sam, can you--ugh, can you move?”

“No.” If anything, Sam presses even more against him, encouraged by Steve who turns him more fully towards the other man.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve says, one hand on Sam’s hip and the other cupping Bucky’s cheek.

Bucky’s eyes are black, with just a ring of blue left in them. “A bit--a bit overwhelmed here.”

“Alright,” Sam says with a sigh, moving back against Steve. “Let’s all relax and use this kitchen for its intended purpose, hm?”

Bucky and Steve give him a perfect salute. “Sir, yes sir.”

Sam smirks, shoving both his guests towards the kitchen chairs. “Wanna try my hot cocoa?”

“I thought we were.”

“You did not just say that.”

Steve snickers into his palm. “I think he did, Sarge.”

“Tsk tsk. No whipped cream for you.”

“Aww,” Bucky says, sitting at the table with his legs wide opened. “I was really interested in getting the cream.”

“He does like cream.”

“Good to know. Only if you behave then.”

“Yes, sir,” Bucky repeats closing his legs but sprawling even further into the chair.

Debauched, that’s what he looks like, and Steve, even sitting as straight as he is, is not a lot better.

Definitely my treats .