#love those guys can they be our regular vets please?

[fade-touched-eezo]

Yes hello please shame this purring jackass who I adore, who has managed to extract a kings ransom out of his humans with vet bills this year

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Sixty-Eight

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: FLUFF SO MUCH FLUFF, and a wee bit of smut. 

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

The next day you and Harry drive out to a Lowe’s to check out their outdoor section. Your balcony wasn’t huge, but it was large enough to fit a small table a few chairs, with room to fit a grill.

“These chairs are comfy.” You say sitting down on one of them. “Come sit, tell me what you think.” Harry shrugs and takes a seat in your lap, and you start laughing.

“Rather comfortable I’d say.” He moves his butt from side to side. “Could really see myself sittin’ on this outside.”

“Harry!” You squeal. “Get your big butt off of me, we’re in public!” You giggle. He turns to look at you.

“Oh, so when we’re in public you don’t want this ass, but at home-“

“Harry!” Your face goes beat red, and he stands up. You stand up and shake your head at him. “Please, just sit in the chair.”

“Geeze, didn’t think you’d get all flustered.” He sits down. “This genuinely is a nice chair, I think we should get a few.” He stands up and takes your hand. “What do you think of a glass table, this round one looks nice?”

“Good eye, I agree.” He kisses your temple, and then you go to look at the grills.

“We don’t need a huge one right now, just somethin’ to get the job done.”

“I don’t even know how often we’d use it, we don’t eat meat.”

“Yeah, but we could throw veggie burgers on it, or just regular veggies. Corn, god, I love corn on the cob in the summer.”

“Me too, actually.”

You both pick one out that you like, and find an associate to order everything up. The gift card your dad gave you was a big help. They said they’d be able to deliver everything by the middle of the week. Harry walks over to the paint section to show you some of the colors he’s thinking for his office.

“Lou called me yesterday, forgot to tell you.” Harry says on your drive home.

“Oh? Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, everything’s fine. They’ve just pushed the date off a little later. El wants to wait until the baby’s born. Said she didn’t want to be pregnant in all of her photos.”

“Don’t blame her for that.”

“Neither does he. Plus it just gives them more time to save up for everything.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Oh, she’s good, about to start her second trimester. Lou said you can actually see her bump. He’s been enjoying actually gettin’ to be a part of things this time. He didn’t get to do any of the pre-baby stuff with his ex, other than a few doctor’s appointments. He said every night he rests his head her stomach and like talks to the baby.”

“That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I’d do the same thing, you know?”

“I’m sure you would. You’d have a stack of bedtime stories ready to go too.”

“Mhm, and I’d sing to it.”

“Harry…you don’t sing now.”

“I do sometimes.”

“Only if the volume’s turned all the way up.”

“Maybe I get a little self-conscious because you’re such a good singer.”

“I am not, stop it.”

“You’re more confident.”

“Doesn’t mean I sound good. Although, when I can actually hear you, I have to say, you have a lovely voice.” He blushes and takes your hand to kiss it.

You get home and start up a few chores. Your sheets were in desperate need of a wash. Harry scrubs down the kitchen while you take care of the living room.

“We can go to the grocery store tomorrow right? I don’t really feel like goin’ back out.” He says.

“Of course, no rush with that. Just wanted to get some of the cleaning done today.” Harry’s phone goes off, and he answers it.

“Hello?” He furrows his brows and then his face softens. “Oh hey! Yeah, no, just took me a second, how are you?” He walks away from you. You shrug and sit on the sofa, turning the TV on. About twenty minutes later he comes over to sit down next to you.

“Who was that?”

“Old friend from uni who lives up in Vermont.”

“Oh?”

“He, uh, breeds labradoodles. Two of ‘em just had a fresh littler.”

“How often do you talk to this friend?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Once in a while. Anyways, I know your allergies get bad, but labradoodles-“

“Are you asking me if I want a dog?”

“A puppy.” He corrects you. “And for free at that.”

“Dogs are like three thousand dollars, he’s just going to give you one for free?”

“He owes me a favor.”

“For what?”

“None of your business.”

“Harry Edward Styles.” You gasp.

“Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N.” He crosses his arms. “Do you want have a dog with me or not?”

“Do you think now’s the right time? We’re both always so busy.”

“I could bring it to the studio with me, it’ll be like havin’ a shop dog.”

“That’s true.”

“And I know a dog is a lot different than havin’ a kid, but I think it would help with the baby fever.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I mean it! Please, please can we get the puppy? He sent me some pictures, this one would be ours.” He shoves his phone in your face, and you see the cutest little brown haired puppy you’ve ever seen.

“Harry, can we even afford a dog with everything going on right now?”

“Think we could manage it. Buy the food in bulk. It’s the vet visits at the beginning, and then it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“Is this a boy or a girl? Not that it really matters…”

“Think it’s a boy.”

“What would we name him?” Harry’s grin grows.

“Are you saying we can get the dog?”

“Obviously! Look at how cute he is!” Harry takes you in his arms and practically squeals.

“We can name him, uh, whatever you want, lemme call my friend back.” He gets up and makes the call. He comes back a few minutes later, very excited. “Said the pup’ll be at eight weeks this week, so we can pick him up next weekend if we want.”

“Next weekend?! We have to get so much stuff. Food, bowls, a collar, a tag. We’ll have to register him at town hall.” Harry grabs your face and kisses you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” You sigh. “Now, what should we name him, let me see the picture again.” He hands you his phone. ‘What names do you like?”

“Max?” You look at him and scrunch your face.

“That’s so generic. What about Peter?”

“Peter?!”

“Yeah, we could call him Pete.”

“We are not namin’ our dog Peter.” Harry gasps and snaps his fingers. “I’ve got it.”

“What?”

“Winston.”

“Winston?”

“How fuckin’ cute would that be?”

“Winston Styles?”

“Oh, so the dog would have my last name?”

“Duh, he’s going to be our baby isn’t he?” You think for a second. “What about Buster?”

“Buster Styles…that could work.” You both look at the picture again. “He looks like a Buster.” He throws his arm around you.

“Yeah, he does.”

//

“You’re gettin’ a dog?!” Niall says in the car Monday morning.

“Yup, his name is going to be Buster. He’s so cute Niall.”

“That’s a huge step.”

“Oh, and being on the same lease together isn’t?” You joke.

“No, it’s just…like if something happened…now a dog is in the middle of it.”

“Something as in us breaking up? Are you stupid?” He makes a face at you. “Niall, Harry and I are happier than we’ve ever been, why would you even say something like that?”

“I don’t know…just gotta think about those things sometimes. So, like, hypothetically speaking, you truly plan to marry Harry some day?”

“It’s not even a hypothetical, Niall. That’s the plan.” He smiles at you.

“Can’t wait for you two to fight over which weddin’ party I’ll be in.”

“Mine of course.” You scoff. “Fuck him.” You both laugh.  

//

Harry and your dad finish all of the major renovations by Wednesday, which leaves him to start painting on Thursday. He told Rachel he’d prime everything. She came in after her school day was over to help him finish it up.

“I’ll be able to come after work tomorrow to start Mariah’s office. It looks so great in here.”

“Yeah, we did pretty good right?”

“Harry, can I ask you something?” He puts the paint roller down and looks at her. Rachel looked cute today, she had these white painters’ overalls on with splashes of old paint all over them. Harry just had old jeans he didn’t care about on and a t-shirt.

“Course.”

“We never really get alone time to talk. I guess, I just wanna know…um, I really care about Y/N, she’s one of my best friends…and I know you both love each other, but you’d never do anything to hurt her right?”

“Oh my god, no, of course not.”

“I care about her a lot, and I’ve never really liked any of the guys she’s dated. I like you, obviously, but I’ll be honest, it took me some time to warm up to you.”

“Really? Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I was honestly shocked when she told me you wanted to set me up with someone, I didn’t know you cared that much. Mariah makes me really happy, so I’m sort of grateful for you.” She laughs.

“I felt terrible when all that stuff with Lora happened.” He sighs. “I’m really happy things are working out so well with you and Mariah.” You both grab the paint rollers and continue to prime the walls. “I want you to know…I’m in it for the long haul with Y/N.” She looks at you.

“What does that mean exactly? I know you two are getting a dog soon…”

“Yup, his name is gonna be Buster.” He smiles. “We’re drivin’ up to Vermont early Saturday morning. We’re gonna spend the night in the Burlington area, and then get the puppy Sunday.”

“That’ll be nice…what comes after the dog though?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, okay, you’re living together, and now you’re getting this dog with her…it’s all so…grown up.” Harry starts laughing.

“You make it sound like I’m this thirty-year-old dude sweepin’ her off from her life.”

“It’s just…last time a friend settled down we never saw her anymore, and you know how the rest of it went. Getting a dog with someone is like the test to see how you’d be as a parent. I feel like all of a sudden you two are gonna be in the suburbs with two kids and we’ll never see her anymore. Practically lost her once after the whole thing with Jake, I can’t lose her again.” Rachel feels tears prick at her eyes.

“Hey, woah, I’m not takin’ her away from anyone. And she’s told me she doesn’t exactly want to move out of the city yet either. There’s no rush for anything.”

“But you two talk about having babies all the time.”

“Not all the time.”

“Harry.”

“Well, it’s important to talk about don’t you think? Be on the same page with your partner.”

“You wanna marry her?”

“At some point, yeah.” She smiles and nods.

“You know, I had a huge crush on her when we first met.” She chuckles. “When we became really good friends, I eventually told her. I think we both cried. She told me she felt terrible that she couldn’t return my feelings. Like she was genuinely torn about it. I think it made us closer. I got over it of course, but that feeling of just wanting what’s best for her will always linger. When we got to spend that semester in California together it made me realize that she’s so special, you know? She deserves the world.”

“And I wanna give it to her.” He puts everything down. “Would it be alright if we hugged?” He had tears in his eyes too. She puts everything down and opens her arms up. They share a nice embrace. You and Mariah walk in with dinner. Mariah coughs loudly to get their attention.

“We just had to go and date the two biggest blubber bags out there, didn’t we?” She says to you and you start laughing.

“What the hell are we gonna do with you two, what happened?”

“We were having a nice moment until you two ruined it.” Rachel says sticking her tongue out at you. You stick yours out back. “What you bring for dinner?” She asks excitedly, walking over to Mariah to give her a kiss.

“Sushi.” She smiles.

“Got some foldin’ chairs in the back, hold on.” Harry says and goes to get them. He stops short, turns around to kiss you, and then goes to get them.

“He’s cute.” Rachel says.

“Yeah, he is.” You smile.

Harry comes back with four folding chairs so you all can sit and eat.

“Harry, if you leave me the keys I can come in this weekend to paint while you’re gone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind. I can get Mariah’s office and the kitchen done easily. Then when you get back we can do the rest.”

“Then it’s just the furniture right?” Mariah asks.

“Yeah, we’re going to have a waiting area over there.” Harry points. “Two small love seats, and then Isaac’s desk should be here any day. Got him one that he can stand up at too like he’s been wantin’. And then our desks will be here in a couple of weeks along with our chairs. We can start bringing the equipment in once the painting is done.”

“I’m so excited, I can’t wait to put my two weeks in. It’s been insufferable without you there.”

“Right, because my attitude just brightened the whole place up.” He says sarcastically, making you all laugh.

“I swear I thought Julia was going to kill herself when she saw your office all cleared out after you left. Luckily, her and Dana are done in two weeks. We might actually hire Dana for the summer. Paige really enjoyed her help.” Harry nods. The mention of Julia’s name makes you cringe.

“You didn’t tell any of them where I went did you?”

“No, but everyone hounded me. I just told them you wanted to focus on your freelance work. Not like it was a lie.” She shrugs.

“I just don’t want any of them findin’ me. Isaac’s kept quiet?”

“Mhm, he’s just excited to get out of there too.”

The four of you finish eating, and you tell Harry you’ll see him at home while him and Rachel finish up. You’re in your pj’s, cuddled up on the sofa watching TV when he gets in. He strips all of his clothes off, besides his boxers, and plops down next to you.

“Harry…”

“Didn’t wanna get paint anywhere.” He yawns. “How’s my baby?” He kisses your cheek.

“Good.” You giggle.

“Just imagine, you’ll have a little pup all cuddled up with you on these later nights.”

“Mhm, it’ll be nice.” You yawn. “I need to set up the little bed inside the crate for him. I mean it, he’s not sleeping in the bed with us.”

“I never disagreed with you, but if he starts cryin’ you can be the one to comfort him.”

“He won’t cry because he won’t know any different. We just need to make the crate a safe space, not a punishment, then he’ll have no problem sleeping in it. Then when he gets a little older we can take the bed out of the crate and he’ll know that’s his bed.”

“You know I’m kind of looking forward to being away for the night.”

“Me too, I’m glad we’re making a weekend of it. I’ve never been to the Ben and Jerry’s factory, I’m so excited.”

“There’s a cider mill right down the road from there too that we should check out.”

“I’ve never been to Burlington either. I think I’ve been to Vermont like once in my life.” You laugh. “We never really had a reason to go.”

“The lads and I would head up there to buy weed on the cheap.” He says nonchalantly. “You know, before it was legal here.”

“Hm, interesting.”

“Alright, miss straight edge.”

“I’m not judging.”

“Mhm, yeah. There’s worse drugs out there, you know?”

“Yeah, like mushrooms.”

“Should’ve never told you that.” He shakes his head.

“Well, you did.” You crawl into his lap and he lays back so you can lay on him. “Hi.” You nuzzle into his chest.

“Hi baby.”

“What were you and Rachel doing earlier, when we walked in?”

“We just had a moment is all.” He strokes your hair and rubs your scalp. “She…really cares about you.”

“Yeah.” You look up at him. “She’s the best.” You smile and lean in to kiss him. “So are you.” You nuzzle your nose to his. “I love you so much, I’m really happy.”

“I love you too, darlin’. I’m happy too.” You kiss for a while on the couch before you both start to feel sleepy. Then it’s off to bed.

//

You both get up early Saturday to get to Vermont. It would be along, and annoying drive. You took some pills to help you not get carsick. Harry was an excellent driver, but you knew there would be a lot of back roads involved at some point.

You put on some cuffed jeans and a white short sleeve crop top. You pair it with a blue cardigan and your white tennis shoes. Harry has a loose pair of jeans on and a band t-shirt.

“I’m so happy it’s gettin’ warmer out.”

“Me too.” You look around. “Everything’s all set up for him.”

“Yup.” He kisses you and grabs the overnight bags. “Let’s go.”

Harry lets you put a playlist on. A mix of old and new songs. You gasp when a particular song comes on. You’ve Made Me So Very Happy by Blood Sweat & Tears.

“Oh my god I love this song!” You turn the volume up and sing along. “Have you heard this before?”

“Yeah, I thought a woman sang it.”

“There are a ton of covers. I think I like this one the best.”

You continue to sing while Harry listens to the lyrics. Every word perfectly describes how he feels about you.

I chose you for the one. Now I'm having so much fun… You treated me so kind, I'm about to lose my mind…You made me so very happy. I'm so glad you came into my life…

Harry makes a mental note of the song for future use, especially when he sees how much you love it. You hold his hand while you sing. You must resonate with the lyrics too.

You eventually make to the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream factory. You couldn’t wait to stretch your legs. You practically run inside.

“I need to pee so bad!” Harry laughs at you while you find a bathroom.

“Tour’s only five bucks a person, I got us two tickets.” He says when you come back. You thank him and wait to be called in with the rest of the group.

A short movie is shown, and then you all are brought in to see how the ice cream is packaged and produced. Next you’re brought downstairs where they give you a sample to try.

“Mm, oh my fucking god.” You can help but moan when you lick at the chocolate malt ice cream. Harry looks at you. “You have to at least try it.”

“I don’t like chocolate ice cream. And you better be careful that’s gonna upset your stomach.”

“No it won’t it’s only a little, and it’s soooo good.” You lick at it again and smile. “That’s some good shit, wow.”

When you’re done you take a picture together outside in front of the sign. You drive down the street to the cider mill. You go inside and see all of the things that can be made with cider and or syrup.

“Look Harry, a maple syrup hot sauce, this could be fun to try.”

“Sure.” He smiles.

“Are you feeling tired? I could drive the rest of the way to the hotel.”

“Would you mind? It would be nice to close my eyes for a bit.”

“Of course.” You kiss him on the cheek, pay for your things and head to the car.

You kept the music volume low while he slept. You pulled into the parking lot of the small hotel. It was really more like an inn.

“Baby, we’re here.”

“Hm? Oh, okay.” He stretches and gets out of the car. He grabs your bags and you both go in to check in.

You get into the room and put everything down. You both wash up and head back down to the car. You drive into Burlington and pay to park near Church Street.

“Look at all the shopping! And the lake! Who knew there was such a populated area?” You laugh.

“Well, UVM is like right over there.” He nudges you.

“Shut up.” You nudge him back.

You both do a little shopping before finding a nice vegetarian place to eat at. After dinner you head down to walk along the peer near the lake.

“I can’t wait to see Buster tomorrow, Harry.”

“Me too, baby.” He holds your hand as you walk.

“Do you think he’ll like us?”

“Of course!” He laughs. “We’ll be the best parents ever.”

You drive back to the hotel and you both get settled in for the night. You both do your nightly routines and get into bed. You face each other, limbs getting tangled in each other. Harry’s leg slides between yours, and he cups your cheeks in his hand. He pulls your face closer to his and your lips connect. You grind slightly against his lig, and he pushes it against you harder. A small moan leaves your lips. You tug at his shoulder to pull him on top of you.

He runs his fingers over your folds and fingers you for a bit to get you ready for him. You wrap your legs around him as he enters you and he kisses you. He buries his head in your neck while he rocks in and out of you. You grab one of his hands you lace your fingers together.

“Harry.” You moan. “Feels so good.” You look up at him and he’s already looking down at you. You kiss each other, and you pull him closer with your legs.

“Y/N.” He moans into your ear. “Love you so much.”

“I, ngh, love you too.”

He rocks in and out of your faster, and then with a sharp thrust, he gets in really deep and stays there. You grind against him as your tongue finds his.

“Oh my god, shit, shit, shit, Harry!” You release around his cock. You squeeze his hand tightly.

He picks up the pace again, chasing his own high. He pants and groans, and with another moan of your name he comes inside of you. He collapses next to you. You both kiss again, not leaving anytime to your breaths. He bites your bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth.

“I’m getting hard again.” He says against your lips.

“Want me to suck on it?”

“Please.”

He lays on his back and you get between his legs. Sure enough he was hard again. You don’t waste anytime getting your mouth on him.

“Fuck.” He groans. He thrusts up and you take him deeper down your throat. You swallow against him and cradle his balls. He grips at your hair and you start bobbing up and down him. “Shit, I’m gonna come.”

You give him a thumbs up as you keep your mouth on him. His come shoots into your mouth, and you take all of it. You come off him and swallow.

“Thank you.” He says, out of breath.

“Mm, my pleasure.”

You get up, use the toilet, and rinse your mouth out. You crawl back into bed, and he wraps himself around you. He kisses the back of your neck a few times before completely settling in.

//

The next morning you both get everything together, and head out to where Harry’s friend lives. It was only about thirty minutes later.

“Adam!” Harry says when he sees his friend coming out to greet him. “Hey, mate!”

“Harry!” The hug each other. “It’s been ages!” Another Brit, how interesting.

“Adam, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Hey, greet to meet yeh!”

“Same to you.” You shake his hand.

“Pup’s in the barn, follow me.”

You take Harry’s hand and follow Adam around to the barn. You hang back while he goes over to the pen they’re in.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks.

“I don’t want to watch him take him away from his mumma.”

“Oh, sweetie…”

Adam comes over cradling the puppy, and you burst into tears when he hands Buster to you. Harry and Adam look at each other and then look at you.

“He’s so beautiful, thank you.” The puppy yips, gives you a lick on the chin, and nestles into your arms. “Harry, he’s so cute.” You say through tears and a high pitched voice. “Here, you take him.”

He smiles and takes him from you. He holds him up in the air at first and then cradles him.

“He’s perfect.”

After chatting with Adam a bit longer, you take Buster out to the car. You had a car-seat for him, but you decide to hold him instead. You just didn’t wanna let him go. Harry would occasionally reach over and scratch his little head. He slept for most of the ride. You stopped a couple of times to give him some water and let him pee.

When you finally get home you let him scamper and sniff around. When it looks like he’s about to pee you pick him up and put him on a piddle pad.

“It’ll be easy enough to let him out for a wee, can just bring him to the balcony.”

“What and have our plants and new furniture smell like piss? No, no, we’ll be taking him out. The piddle pads will work for now. We’ll have to take him out every hour so he gets used to it. C’mon baby, are you hungry?”

“Actually, yeah, I a-“

“Harry, I was talking to Buster.” You shake your head at him and laugh. You whistle to Buster and he follows you. You scoop out some dog food and put it into his bowl. You stick your fingers into the dry food while he eats.

“What are you doin’?”

“I read about this. It helps the dog know not to bite you if you feed it treats and stuff. It needs to know it shouldn’t be rough with you.” Buster eats what he wants and then laps at his water bowl. “He’s just so tiny, I can’t get over it.” You pat the top of his head. “Okay, in like fifteen minutes we should take him out. I’m working from home tomorrow so I can help house train him.”

“Sounds good.” He smiles. “So…can we eat dinner then/”

“Sure, if you feel like whipping something up. I’ll have to take him to get registered with the city tomorrow. I’ll call the vet too to set up a check up like Adam said.”

“Thank you.” He kisses you and goes into the kitchen. Buster follows him in and so do you.

You take buster out to do his business every hour like you said. You ring a little bell each time you take him out too. Eventually the three of you get snuggled up on the couch together.

“Oh, let’s take a selfie, then all our friends can help welcome him.” You take your phone out and sit between Harry’s legs, facing away from him. You hold Buster up to your chest so you can get him in the picture. Harry kisses your temple right as you snap the shot. “God, I’m gonna cry again.”

“I couldn’t believe how emotional you got, usually I’m the mess.”

“I know!” The dog huffs. “Sorry baby, mumma didn’t mean to be so loud.” You coo as you strokes his hair.

Harry was so at peace. Hearing yourself refer to yourself as mumma thrilled him. When it was time for sleep, you put Buster inside his crate with his cozy bed. You stuck the crate in the hall outside your bedroom. You didn’t want to put it in the bedroom since he would wanna get on the bed with you. You start getting teary eyed when you get into bed.

“What is it, love?”

“I just feel bad leaving him out there all alone, I don’t want him to wake up scared.”

“Do you want to bring him in here with us?”

“No, we need to be stern about this. He needs to know our bed is for us, and his bed is for him. I’ll be okay.” You wipe your eyes.

“C’mere.” You lay your head on his chest and sigh.

Luckily, Buster didn’t make much of a peep throughout the night, and you and Harry were able to sleep just fine. Your little life with Harry was growing, and you couldn’t be happier. You weren’t sure if you were ready for the responsibility of having a dog, but somehow you ended up being a natural, and Harry took note right away.

[malachite-isms]

Your Kiss is on Their List Pt 5: Yang Xiao Long

This was familiar. This mental soup of lingering ecstacy and satisfactory subordination, she hadn’t always known it, but it was normal for her now. It wasn’t overly often that this would happen, all parties involved had things to do of course, but it was common enough that there was a sequence of events she was used to going through. As were they.

First, she would go to the club, that fateful club where she had made an impressive, if a bit unnecessary, show of force on the establishment’s security detail and owner in lieu of getting the information she needed. There, she would do some drinking, maybe a bit of dancing, or even, more recently, shoot some pool in that newly renovated nook beside the bar. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing one couldn’t find in most other nightclubs in cities like Vale. Great music though.

Then, the odd dance would begin. They would approach her, those bedeviling women, and they would flirt like they’d only met once or twice before and hit it off. They’d give her an opening line, she’d shoot something charming back and they’d go back and forth like that for a while. Then they’d invite her to the back, she’d push through the cool rush in her chest and say yes at an appropriate volume. They’d then escort her to the back, and she would positively relish the jealous looks she’d get from charmless men. Very few got the honor of meeting up with the twins in private regularly, save for Yang Xiao Long and one other.

Then they’d lead her to their room, lavishly furbished with leather furniture, modern art, and the most well-stuffed bed she’d ever been on. It was always just a little chilly in there; not cold enough for an additional layer, but you’d always be doing the little things to warm up ever so slightly. Things like crossing your arms, or being close to someone else. Part of their setup, no doubt. There, one of them would sit her on the couch and heap compliments on her while the other sat on an adjacent chair and methodically apply vibrant red lipstick. She’d catch her staring, she’d always catch her staring, and the other would know exactly when to stop talking and redden her own lips as Yang was caught in a suggestive gaze. They were frighteningly good at what they did.

Then, with gentle tugs, they’d pull her from the couch to the bed and begin the main event. They’d lean on either side of her and start with her cheeks. Gentle, lingering kisses that let her relish in the contact and warmth. They’d refresh the kiss-shaped stamp they had on her brain. They would work their way to her nose, and her forehead, and her temples, and her jaw, and her neck. Then they’d help her remove her jacket and scarf, she’d often already in a trance at that point. With only her tube top remaining on her torso, they’d kiss her neck, then her shoulders, then they’d let her slowly fall to the bed as they worked their way down her arms and to her hands.

At that point, they would ask her the question; how far would they go tonight? Yang would have to tell them, with a please. They never demanded one, never even asked for one, but she’d always say please. They’d always oblige her, if she asked for a full coat, they paint her red from head to toe. Sometimes,  when she was in the mood, she’d ask for something along the lines of “the full package,” and they’d oblige her.

Finally, they’d be done, and she’d be speechless. It had been a long time since the first occurrence of this, but she would always be speechless, staring at the ceiling, and simply plastered in impressions of lips, residue of blissful kisses that would put her firmly on cloud nine, regardless of whether or not her pants stayed on. They’d leave to the adjoining bathroom and clean themselves up.

Recently, if they hadn’t gone all that far, another step would occasionally come up. She would, without cleaning herself up, pick herself off the bed and wobble her way to the bar. She would be too love-drunk to care about the bewildered stares she’d get from the jealous and the envious, and order herself a lite beer, or even a water. Something simple to revitalize her system. There, she’d be joined by the only one to be able to truly sympathize with her, the only one who could claim to be in her shoes more often than Yang herself.

Tonight was one of those nights, and Cody Baxter was that individual.

Cody was, in many ways, Yang’s polar opposite. A passive pacifist who never looked to instigate anything aside from chill vibes. He was a writer by trade, and wouldn’t consider himself charming. Which made it as baffling to him as it was to many others when the infamously seductive Malachite Twins rented out a space in the club for the guy and showered him with affection whenever they got the chance. The only one more often covered in lipstick from the twins than Yang was Cody.

Though tonight, he was clean and Yang was the recent target.

“Y’know,” he started “,we gotta stop meeting like this.” 

“What,” she shot back, words slightly slurred “,you think you could hold up any better?”

They both chuckled like old war veterans, warmly recalling what others would consider nightmares.

“I take it this was your way of getting a ‘lightened sentence’ as it were?” he asked with a glance at the blonde.

“Yyyyyyou could say that I guess.” She took a swig of beer. “If what they did to my team was their version of going easy, I’d rather this,” she gestured to her marked self “,than whatever they were planning for an old vet like me.”

“Y’know, you say that,” he said, melancholy slowly entering his voice “,but I don’t think either of us handle them better now than when we got got for the first time.”

“Oum, the first time...”

-----------------------------

That club was so nice on her first visit, and cleaned up so nice the second, why not go again just for fun?

She was owed a drink, after all. Yang strutted into the club, the music was back, the patrons were back, and Junior was back. Back, too, were those twins who she never got to be properly introduced to.

With strawberry sunrise in hand, Yang took a seat between them at the bar. This place was worth being a regular at, best to ingratiate herself with the staff, especially the boss’s right hand girls.

But there was two of them so... right and left hand? Anyway.

“W’hey there!” she opened “So, I’m not so great at apologies, so how about I just buy you ladies a round?”

The two haughty women rolled their eyes and nodded in acquiescence.

Yang signaled to the bartender who promptly slid some fancy drinks to the twins, their favorites, Yang presumed.

“So, dunno if you’re cool enough with me for this, but would you mind if I got your names?”

A heavy pause followed.

“Melanie.”

“Miltiades.”

Yang was thoroughly surprised. She would’ve bet her bike that, no, they were not cool enough with her yet. Might as well strengthen her advantage then.

“Well, I gotta say, Melanie, Miltiades,” holy shit, did she just nail the red one’s name on the first try? “you girls are pretty damn good fighters.

Apparently, the praise was enough for the twins to deign her with their gazes instead of cold shoulders.

“I mean, most people have to fall back on their semblances when I go on the attack, but you two? Correct me if I’m wrong, but you guys didn’t even raise your aura when I hit you, did you?”

Another heavy silence.

“Knowledge is power,” Melanie said plainly.

“Uhhh... huh?”

“If we used our semblance for every punk with their head in their ass,” Miltiades clarified “,people could scout us for planned attacks.”

“Not that you’d know anything about that.” They scoffed in unison.

Ouch.

“W-well,” Yang tried to get back on balance “,I’ll be the first to tell you, I have a lot of muscles that might be the strongest,” she flexed her arms to drive the point home “,but my brain ain’t in the running!”

Self-deprecating humor, she didn’t use it often, but this seemed like a good time to bust it out. Some humility never hurt when trying to earn some forgiveness, right?

*chu*

Yang felt what happened, heard what happened, but her brain needed some time to process it. she looked to each of her biceps and found a red lipstick-imprint on each of them and a twin caressing an arm each.

Yang’s face lit up like a traffic light, but no words came out. Noises escaped her mouth for sure, but they were most definitely not words.

“You know, for as hot-headed as you are,” Melanie said, pausing to kiss Yang’s forearm “,you definitely have a charm about you.”

More noises, no words.

A soft hand cupped her cheek and turned her toward its owner; Miltiades, who had closed the distance and was inches away from her face.

“Y’know, you’re so cute, we can’t stay mad at you. How about we get away from the crowds so we can... get to know you better?”

There was a heavy silence.

Without taking her eyes off Miltiades, Yang picked up her strawberry sunrise, downed it in one go and croaked out “Sure.”

------------------------------

“Well if it isn’t our two favorite patrons!”

Melanie’s peppy arrival snapped Yang out of her recollection.

“Heyo, Mel,” Cody greeted the twin “,to what do we owe the honor?”

“Just a quick bit of correspondence we would like our blonde friend to deliver.”

Curious, Yang turned to the pair fully to find Miltiades holding out a business card. She took it, read it, and her eyes widened.

“Uhh... girls?” she said with trepidation in her voice “,I don’t wanna tell you how to go about your business, but this... this might not be the best idea.”

“Yang, for real, we appreciate the concern,” Miltiades said with uncharacteristic bluntness given their recent escapades “,but we’ve done our research. Trust us, we’ve planned this one out thoroughly. We know what we’re doing.”

“If you say so.” Yang looked down at the lipstick-stained card. “Better brace yourself, vomit-boy.”

[rallamajoop]

Some musings on symbiote morphology (AKA when size does matter)

So, back when Venom was still in cinemas, I saw it with a friend who (like me) enjoyed it mightily -- though said friend did roll her eyes pretty hard at the She-Venom scene, because of course the female!Venom has to be skinny and sexy. Of course she does.

I mean, the sexual dimorphism on display here is, uh... pretty extreme.

Usually, this would’ve gotten to me too. Few issues in genre film stick in my craw like the double standards applied to male and female bodies (ask me my thoughts on the likes of Wonder Woman or Gamora at your peril). So it was a little surprising to find that this was one I was mostly willing to shrug off.

Why? Well, that requires a bit of backing up and some more context. But mostly, it’s the perfect jumping-off point for a whole lot of rambling about visual shorthands and how symbiote morphology has been handled in the comics over the years, which apparently I had a whole essay’s worth of thoughts on. So here we go.

Now, Comic!Venom =/= Movie!Venom. They aren’t the same character, don’t have the same history, and their biology doesn’t follow the same rules.  But one is still the basis for the other, so we’re going to start waayyy back at the beginning.

Since the symbiote's introduction back in '84, precious little about the species has remained consistent through the many writers and retcons, but one detail that Marvel was -- mostly -- consistent on back in the early days is that the shape a symbiote takes depends a lot on the body of its host. So when Spider-man was wearing the symbiote the result was (by design) literally just Spider-man-but-in-black:

But Venom's next host did not have the muscularly-lean body of Peter Parker, he had the jacked-up muscle-mountain that was Eddie Brock’s -- and the result is the Venom we all know and love.

Whereas when completely-normal-human-woman Anne Weying first bonds with the Venom symbiote in Sinner Takes All, we get a much slimmer She-Venom.

You can see the same trends at work with the Life Foundation Five and various other examples. So, in the comics at least, there’s some internal consistency explaining why He-Venom and She-Venom should look so very different. (Why Eddie and Anne should be such wildly different sized humans is a whoooole other topic, but best left in the Don’t Get Me Started pile for now.)

Of course, when the guy you've cast as Eddie has the physique of Tom Hardy rather than, say, He-Man, the logic of why Venom looks so huge falls apart. 

  ⬥ Venom and She-Venom, actual size comparison.

While comic book writers of the 80's may have been able to convince a generation of fans not to question why a professional journalist would be jacked enough to dwarf Captain America, film adds a layer of realism and audience expectations that would make that a much harder sell (not to mention limiting your casting options to a much smaller pool). Casting Tom Hardy was inarguably the right call. 

If Eddie no longer looked like Venom, the other solution would have been to make Venom look more like Tom Hardy--but good luck getting that past the existing fanbase. When it comes to pleasing the longtime fans, it's safe to say that Venom, not Eddie, is the character who has to look the part. Plus, Venom is entirely CG, so casting and realism no longer have to matter. Fanboys can have their giant Venom and tiny She-Venom, and the fangirls can have Tom Hardy getting all prettily roughed up. There are worse solutions.

Don't get me wrong: they could and absolutely should have evened up the difference on screen by giving She-Venom some extra body mass (she is on screen for like ten seconds, the fanboys can effing deal). But when the key decision that fucked up those ratios is making Eddie so much slimmer and sexier than he was originally supposed to be, I am unusually willing to give them a tentative pass. I mean, I love comics!Eddie too, but I can’t see him working on screen.

While I’m talking symbiote-bodies, it’s worth going into some of the other reasons to make Eddie+symbiote so huge, the obvious ones being to a) make him more threatening, and b) emphasise that Eddie's bonded with the symbiote in a way Peter never did. As a shape-shifter, Venom can make his host look bigger but not smaller (which is presumably why Rad Eddie may look younger than regular!Eddie, but is still suspiciously large for a skateboarder hanging with teens).

But size isn't the only way to make a character like Venom threatening. Compare Carnage, who is much more dangerous than Venom -- but (along with his host) fairly consistently drawn as smaller and leaner than the original.

He's still plenty threatening, though -- not because he's huge, but because he's completely bugfuck nuts and into murder for recreation. His design gets this across with a texture less like skin than a mass of veins and tentacles. Size is a good visual shorthand for danger, but it's not the only shorthand that works for symbiotes of the 90′s heyday.

You can see the same logic at work in Toxin too (a lesser-known and sadly mistreated Carnage-spawn from the early 00's). Precious little about Toxin's look remained consistent from one creative team to the next, but the impact of the host body is still there. His first host, Pat Mulligan, was a pretty average-sized dude, which is reflected in his bonded form (left), but when Eddie gets the Toxin symbiote later on, we get a much bigger Toxin (right). And Eddie's Toxin has more tentacles and rougher skin, so we know he's not going to be friendly (Eddie was really not in a good place at this point in his history).

Perhaps the most interesting example is Agent Venom, who turns up when the military bonds the Venom symbiote to Flash Thompson: disabled vet and card-carrying Spidey fan. His Venom-look is a brilliant bit of storytelling-through-design: the face and overall build hearkens back to Spider-man's time in the symbiote, the equipment signposts his military connections (past and present), and black will always be the signifier of a guy working black ops.

Perhaps most important, there's no mouth (compare both Spidey and Toxin #1), which is our sign that the symbiote's under control -- drugged into submission by the military, in fact.

But key to Flash's time in the role is that the Venom symbiote doesn't always stay drugged and docile, and whenever it starts to break free, Agent Venom morphs into Venom's traditional look -- gaping mouth, no belts or shoulder pads, and lots of bulky muscles a la the original flavour Eddie Brock (you can see him mid-transformation on the left below).

Does that make sense, when Flash is the host? Probably not, but comic book logic, as usual, is suspended for the sake of visual shorthand: fans know what Venom is "supposed" to look like, so that's what he looks like when the comic wants to telegraph that Flash is losing control. And that, I suspect, is why Lee Price's Venom (above right) looks more like Eddie's, even though Lee Price looks more like Flash. Price may be the one in charge, but he’s also a madman, so his Venom has to look out of control. The comics have officially hit Tom Hardy territory: Venom is huge now because people have come to expect Venom to look like the original Eddie-Brock!Venom, regardless of who’s inside.

There are bigger exceptions to the rule, however -- two of the more interesting turned up almost simultaneously in 2015, when both Venom!Flash and Toxin!Eddie got significant redesigns in the pages of Venom: Space Knight and Carnage (2015). Now Flash's Venom is the bulky muscular one, while Eddie's Toxin looks slimmer than Eddie has ever been before or since. What's going on here? Did the artists just screw up?

Well, not entirely -- the characters haven't just flipped looks, they've flipped roles. Now Toxin's the one being drugged into submission by a US agency (and we can only assume those drugs somehow prompt a symbiote to produce pouches, because we're two-for-two on that front). Meanwhile, Venom's been "purged of corruption" and has finally bonded with Flash as a full partner, which may be why they opted for something closer to his original look. Note that Venom has no mouth, and Toxin's is positively restrained by symbiote standards, which tells you a lot about the temperament we can expect from both of them.

That said, I don't think either design really works. Venom's new look is a real step back in creativity from his Agent Venom days, and the helmet-face would be better suited to a mech design than a symbiote who's being treated as a real character for the first time. Meanwhile, Toxin’s look doesn't really work for Eddie, for all the same reasons it did work for Flash: Eddie isn't a trusted agent in this scenario, he's more like an intelligent animal on a short leash. It isn't just the builds that are wrong -- none of the story comes across well in these designs.

All in all, the longer Venom’s been around, the less the standard host=symbiote rules seem to apply. Venom is huge because his look is sufficiently iconic that that’s what the fans expect, regardless of who’s on the inside, or whether we’ve just rewritten his entire backstory and made the jump to film.

Speaking of which, it’s worth pointing out that there is actually precedent in the comics for female symbiotes who aren't drawn like a bikini model in a layer of black body paint. One is Patricia Robertson, who bonds with the "Venom" symbiote (read: not actually the Venom symbiote) in the 2003 Venom series.

Though Trish is a woman of fairly average build, her "Venom" is virtually indistinguishable from Eddie's (too much so, if anything -- it's very hard to tell which is which when they clash). Unfortunately, the 2003 series is otherwise an ugly, incomprehensible mess of a comic, containing almost nothing that has ever been referenced again. I can really only recommend it to absolute completists.

Somewhat better handled is Tarna, a skrull Agent of the Cosmos who appears in Venom: Space Knight. Tarna's symbiotic look is not remotely feminine, and one suspects that's the point: it's ugly, threatening, and gives no clue as to who's inside. (Her symbiote can also separate from her while maintaining form, making the comparison pic unusually easy for me).

But as a shapeshifting alien bonded to a shapeshifting symbiote, Tarna perhaps doesn't make the best example for general principles. It’s worth keeping in mind that every design has a storytelling function too: Patricia’s Venom needs to be mistakable for the original Venom for plot reasons, and the reveal that Tarna is a humanoid woman under her symbiote is set up as a surprise. But the creators of the film wanted us to know that was Anne under the symbiote from the moment she appeared, so sexy!She-Venom it is.

All that said, at the very end of the day, I’d much rather not have to make these excuses for the film. I’d much rather see more Tarnas and fewer She-Venom’s, and both film and comics have a long way to go before we get there yet.

[moonstruckbucky]

Rant Fest

So for the past couple of months, my “in-laws” (we’ll call them that even though my SO and I aren’t married *whispers* yet) have been driving me up a wall and then some.

His mom? Super sweet, loving... but a helicopter. And I don’t mean one of those dinky little news helicopters. I’m talking full-out military style, equipped with heat-seeking missiles kind of helicopter. She hovers a lot. Calls my SO multiple times a day, for no real good reason at all except to check up on him. Mind, he’s 30 - he’s a big boy.

Things have been a little stagnant for him since he had his seizure two months ago - he’s stranded without a car (totaled in the accident) and without a license (if you have a seizure MA state law dictates you automatically surrender your license for 6 months). So he’s been getting rides from her when he needs to, or his grandmother. 

(Gonna throw a read more on this puppy. We now resume our regular scheduled dash scrolling).

Anyway. Besides the hovering, which has undoubtedly gotten worse since his accident, she gets a little too touchy with him that bothers me. Pinching his behind (again - he’s 30), and just all over him in general. I get because he’s the first born, she’s probably super attached to him - plus, he fell 15 or so feet when he was 2, so we think that’s what spurred her hovering because at the time I don’t think she was watching him; he ended up spending two weeks in the hospital after bonking his head. She doesn’t really act like this with her youngest son, who’s a year older than me at 28, but because he’s had issues with drugs/drinking in the past, she hovers over him too and clearly doesn’t trust him all that much.

Which, not that it’s my business, I have a problem with, because she isn’t giving him the chance to earn her trust back at all.

Then came Baxter, our one year old lab pup, who we got for free because we studded out our 6 year old male to a guy who’d grown up breeding coonhounds - so a responsible breeder. We took him home over Labor Day weekend last year. From the get-go she was all over us about training him, and what we should or shouldn’t do. A little note: I have my Associate’s in animal care, had to take hours of classes on dog training and behavior, so I like to think I know my shit about dogs, okay? Okay. It bothered the fuck out of me.

Cut to less than a month later, Nick’s grandmother gets out of bed in the middle of the night, takes a wrong turn and ends up falling down the stairs. Breaks her fingers on one hand and doing some other damage to her other arm.

First thing out of his mom’s mouth? “Did she trip over that dog?” I was livid. As if she couldn’t trust that we’d keep Baxter with us in his room at night - he was fast asleep when this happened. Even Nick (SO) was annoyed that she’d asked that.

Jump to this past weekend, and here’s a long background to this event.

About two months ago, Nick’s brother and his ex - not even his girlfriend anymore - decided they were going to get a puppy. Now, I think it was Jake’s idea to get the dog, and then the ex just maybe saw an opportunity to stick around, and voila, their puppy.

Who is a backyard bred pit bull puppy bred by a guy either by accidental pregnancy or because he “just wanted to try and breed his dogs”. Either way, these are key signs of an irresponsible breeder. Next sign? The fact he told them both they could take him at 5 weeks of age. When the normal age to take home dogs is 7-8 weeks. We took Bax home at 7 weeks. So not only is he missing out on crucial socialization skills such as bite inhibition and when to cool his jets with corrections from mom, but he’s incredibly small, the runt probably. And then begin the seizures. 5 week old puppy is now on anti-seizure meds - the same ones Nick is on actually.

What’s worse? Jake and his ex didn’t even pay for the fucking dog - Nick did, because Jake didn’t have the money. Makes me wonder how the fuck they’re paying vet fees for a sick dog.

You angry yet?

Jump to a few weeks later. This puppy is a fucking menace. Has zero bite inhibition and those puppy teeth are like razors. He was actually fucking vicious about it as well. Would only let you pet him so he could turn and nail you. Even. Worse? His “parents” encouraged this fucking behavior! Every time he began biting people, even if he was in someone else’s arms, “mom” would take him from them and cuddle him - thus, if you know a little about dog training, is seen as a reward by the dog. Even when I put him down on the floor when he started biting, she picked him up and cuddled him while trying to tell him “no”.

It doesn’t fucking work like that.

So you’ll understand why I get nervous as he gets bigger around Baxter. Having the reputation pits do (I don’t hate them; I just think not everyone should be allowed to own them if they’re not going to take training seriously - and even then, you can’t guarantee they won’t display some genetic aggression later in life), and I brought it to Nick. He’s convinced they’ll “be fine”, and frankly, I don’t want to take that risk because Baxter? Is a softie. He’s a wimp (sorry bubba, but you are), and he won’t stand up for himself - and I don’t want him to be in that position with another dog’s teeth in his neck, where he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. Because by the time he figures it out, he might be dead (I’m gonna cry just thinking of that possibility).

So I keep an eye on them when they play. Jump to this weekend. The whole point of this rant. Sundays are for family dinner, and the puppy usually accompanies his parents. Why the ex still comes to fucking family dinner, I have no idea - she was his plus one to his sister’s wedding, which multiple people thought was fucking weird, myself included. Anyway, our boys are blocked off from the kitchen while we eat so the puppy can roam and we can keep an eye on him.

Then after dinner we let everyone in the kitchen. Well, Hydro (the 6 year old and Baxter’s father/sire) is at the table looking for scraps (bad habit, I know) when the puppy wanders over.

Now, let me mention this: Hydro was trained and raised as a hunting dog, so while he is socialized, he isn’t a very social dog with other dogs or even strange people. When Baxter was a puppy learning about boundaries, he pushed Hydro too far, and Hydro nailed him - picked him up by the head and tossed him. Baxter was fine, but he kind of got the gist. I was concerned, but at the same time I know it’s how a dog communicates enough is enough. Baxter still pushes boundaries but he’s a jerk like that. It isn’t for lack of trying.

So, puppy wanders over to Hydro, who gives a low warning growl to tell him he’s too close, he needs to back off. Adult dogs don’t very much like puppies to begin with because they have absolutely no manners. It’s crucial in dog development for them to be able to be taught by older dogs in their own way what is right and what is wrong.

Well, puppy made a wrong move not backing off, and Hydro snarled and snapped his teeth at him. He ended up catching him on the snout. Puppy starts screaming because he probably hasn’t had a dog do this before, and it’s bedlam. Hydro ducks under the table thinking he’s going to be punished for communicating in a way the puppy will understand. “Mom” scoops up the puppy, in goddamn tears (fucking please), acting like Hydro just tried to maul him. I’m watching this whole thing happen trying not to roll my eyes at everyone losing their minds.

I feel terrible for Hydro, so I’m the only one (even Nick wasn’t assuring him he wasn’t a bad dog right away, and that dog is attached to his hip) worried about Hydro. So I give him love and attention and tell him he’s okay, he’s not a bad dog. You can’t punish a dog for communicating that he’s had enough, for setting his own boundaries - and “mom” coddling the puppy isn’t helping him either, but he did learn. He was a little nervous about Baxter approaching him, but I’m glad his instinct wasn’t to bite. Had Hydro wanted to hurt him, he would have.

The puppy has to learn - even Baxter was trying to get away from him and everyone was just letting the puppy leap at him. Now granted, I read this morning you shouldn’t do that - if your older dog is trying to get away, you need to separate them.

Anyway, the family, besides Nana and Nick, kept giving Hydro wary glances every time he entered the room in case he was going to just up and attack the puppy. Which pissed me off.

What made it worse? Nick’s mother claiming Hydro wasn’t “socialized”, and the fourth time she said it, I corrected her with, “He’s socialized just fine. The puppy has to learn that dogs have boundaries. Not all of them are going to be like Baxter.”

(Spoiler alert: he would’ve learned this had he been allowed to stay with mom those extra 3 weeks)

So I’ve come to the decision that when Nick and I move to Maine next year, the dogs are staying home, and I’ll be minimizing contact between them. I don’t trust at all that they’re going to take the puppy’s training seriously, especially for a breed that’s so stigmatized like pit bulls. 7% of the dog population and they’re  number 1 in fatalities? There’s something wrong there. 

Anyway, this is my giant rant that’s been building up.

OH, and when we move to Maine, I’m going to do a happy dance because it means Nick’s mom can’t drop in unexpectedly all the fucking time and disrupt my domestic life. I can’t wait.

Uh, yeah, so y’all asked for it and here it is. Go wild on feedback, thoughts, agreements, whatever.

[ijustwanttoexist]

Love Isn’t Just a Walk in the Park Pt. 4

Hey guys. So, shortly after I posted the third installment of this series, my life...kind of imploded.

One of my roommates had a few ER visits that put a strain on our finances, and then when we kind of got level again, our cat got sick. It took the vet a few months to narrow the cause down to cancer, and that was a time of lots of worrying and expensive tests and spending all our free time making sure our cat was getting his meds and feeding him with a syringe because he wasn’t eating on his own. And then when he died, I honestly wasn’t in a place to try and keep writing.

So I’m just now to the point where I have some free time to try and start writing again and the motivation to actually do so. So yeah, I’m probably going to only slowly and occasionally post, but I’m tentatively back.

As with the last installment, I just wanted to remind everyone that I don’t work with animals, and I never have, so the things I include in this fic might not be correct. Please, if I include something dangerous to animals in my fic, let me know and I’ll bring attention to it in the next update. Let’s keep our animals safe!

I also wanted to say a very heartfelt thank you to the person who donated to my ko-fi. I cried. Thank you.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Pairing(s): Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

The time between that last morning shift and the day of the shoot both crawls by and shoots past Geno in the blink of an eye. It’s full of regular daily stuff, and updates from Angela and Sara on Sidney, and also the frantic scrambling of paperwork and scheduling and pulling all the details together.

But then the morning of the day dawns and Geno’s alarm goes off much, much earlier than he ever wanted his alarm to sound, earlier even than a regular morning shift. He trudges through his morning routine and barely leaves on time. Both of the girls are already there when he parks the car, and have just started working systematically to get everything together so they can leave. Geno slides right into the prep with no hassle, and they’re ready to go in almost no time.

The drive is a relatively short one, and it makes sense since Sidney probably wanted to live somewhere close to the rink. Geno wonders if any of Sid’s teammates chirped him for it. He hopes they did.

Geno pulls the work van into the spot he’s directed to, and then from there the three of them and a few helpers from the Penguins organization move them into a room where they can let the animals they brought out of their carriers and relax.

They had brought three dogs and one cat to the shoot. Angela handled the cat, a particularly prim tabby who just happened to be the friendliest cat Geno had ever met. Sara got the older dog, a one year old Whippet who’s just a little shy and needed the one on one attention. Which left Geno with the two lab puppies that were more curious than anything else, tripping over their feet and each other as they eagerly sniffed and explored the couch Geno had sad down on.

Slowly, shelters, pets, and hockey players convened. It was full of laughter and a good deal of big, tough hockey men cooing over the various animals. Geno was keeping mostly to himself, relaxing on the couch. One puppy had decided it was too early to be awake and was sleeping across his thighs, and the other was playing clumsily with his fingers.

He’s so distracted with the puppy that he misses Sidney enter the room and head in his general direction. He looks up when someone sits down, and meets the smile of Sidney head on. If only in the privacy of his own mind, he’ll admit that he’s missed that smile.

“Good morning,” Sidney says cheerily. Geno says something that’s an approximation of the same, but he knows it’s got a tired edge to it. “I’m glad you could make it.”

And Geno is struck again by how earnest Sidney Crosby is.

“Glad we could make it,” Geno says. “Need to show off best dogs.” He gives Sid a cheeky smile, and the man laughs that honking laugh, head thrown back and smile wide. Geno swallows against a suddenly dry mouth.

“Can I join you?” Sid asks, gesturing to the other side of the couch. Geno nods, no hands free to gesture since he’s petting one puppy, and the other is gnawing on his thumb.

The second Sidney sits, the playful puppy is more interested in the something new than Geno’s fingers. It clumsily trots over to the hockey player, and struggles to climb onto his lap. After a few moments, Sidney helps the puppy with a gentle hand, and the puppy continues up into his arms then flops down.

Geno watches Sidney coo over the puppy with a heart light with fondness but heavy with resignation. He’s completely lost whatever battle he was fighting to not become romantically attached to this sweet, earnest, and quite honestly unfairly attractive man, and it was probably lost long before this moment.

“Oh, this would be perfect for a post!” some lady in formal clothes says as she comes up to the couch, “You okay with that Sid?” Sidney smiles up at her, and Geno can’t help but notice it feels a little forced at the edges.

“Go for it,” he says. He lets her pose him just right, smiles a smile that Geno thinks almost looks real if he didn’t know what a real smile from him looked like. The woman takes a few pictures and talks with Sidney for a few minutes more before she disappears back into the crowd to find more opportunities like the one she had just captured.

“Sorry about that,” Sidney says when she’s left.

“Why sorry?” Geno asks.

“It just feels rude,” Sid says, “like I completely ignored you while she was taking those pictures when you’re a guest here.”

“Sid,” he says, “is like business deal. Good for all of us that we’re here. Good for cute animals here that might get adopted, and all pets the money go to. Good for my business, word of mouth.” Geno shrugs. “Besides, picture cute.”

“Oh yeah?” Sid asks. Geno thinks his cheeks look a little pink.

“With such cute puppy, any picture be cute. Could have no teeth, no hair, still be cute picture.” Sid scrunches up his nose.

“Thanks a lot,” Sidney gripes, and Geno sticks his tongue between his teeth to keep from laughing as he shrugs.

“You know you look good,” Geno says. “Not need to hear from me when you girlfriend must tell you all the time.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Sidney says.

“A shame, girls missing out,” Geno commiserates with him.

Sid opens his mouth to say something else when he gets called away. He looks apologetic as he stands up, placing the now sleepy puppy into Geno’s waiting hands.

“I don’t have a boyfriend either,” Sid says, eyes locked onto Geno’s, who feels his widen in surprise. But then Sidney is walking away before he can get his mouth to work again, or his brain back online. He watches the man walk away from him towards the people who called him and swallows hard at the way he moves.

“He’s trying to kill me,” Geno tells the puppy in his arms in Russian. But what a way to go, he thinks.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Ma

You guys know i’m an easy sell when it comes to horror. It’s one of the few genres that’s pretty consistently producing new and original stories that aren’t sequels, remakes, or reboots of some kind. When you add in a pedigree of Oscar winners like Octavia Spencer front and center to your horror narrative, as Leo DiCaprio once said, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. Ma is Octavia’s movie, in which she stars as a lonely, maternal vet tech who starts buying a group of local teens alcohol in a “i’m not a regular mom I’m a cool mom” move, then convinces them to start partying weekly in her basement because it’s safer than them partying out there on the mean streets of whatever bumfuck middle of nowhere town this is. This is all totally regular and expected and doesn’t sound like it could lead to bad things at all, right? Well...

Wherever you think this is heading, let me tell you it takes a HARD LEFT TURN and gets REAL FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE.

Some thoughts:

Shoutout to Stu (Dominic Burgess), who is really living it up in his 3 minutes of screentime in this movie. That is man who takes an opportunity and RUNS WITH IT.

Listen, I was 17 once too, and I probably wouldn’t have heeded this advice then either, but I’m begging you, kids. Don’t hang out in vans. Nothing good happens in vans when you’re a teenager. Vans are bad news. And for the love of jesus tapdancing christ, do not party anywhere called The Rock Pile especially if it is literally a pile of rocks.

Allison Janney! What are you doing here! What a waste of her Oscar-winning talent. I wonder if she just owed Octavia Spencer a favor. Like maybe she lost a bet to her during awards season and now she had to play a thankless bit part in this movie. I could see Allison Janney and Octavia Spencer getting into some wagers and mischief together.

During all my years as a Hobbit stan, I never thought I’d someday see Bard the Bowman (Luke Evans) getting his dick sucked in a van. Also, later, there is a shot of Luke Evans’ dick being grabbed (I’m sure it’s some kind of Hollywood prosthesis but STILL), which I was not expecting and I was writing notes in my notebook and I MISSED IT but this movie was pretty awful so I’m never going to go back and watch it again. 

There is a three-legged dog in a pivotal scene! Yay for three-legged dog representation! In fact, because Ma works in a vet clinic, there are many very good dogs seen throughout the film. HOWEVER. There is also a dog, Louie, that is hurt and we just never know what happens to Louie which I am frankly still very upset about. There is blood involved and this still haunts me. JUSTICE FOR LOUIE.

I do appreciate the realistic mother/daughter dynamic portrayed between our protagonist, Maggie, (Diana Silvers) and Erica (Juliette Lewis). It’s clear that they love each other, but that they still fight and chafe against each other’s boundaries, as all mothers and teenage daughters do.

The genre here is difficult to pin down. It’s not quite a horror movie, but not quite suspense either. It doesn’t work as a drama, and its beats are too predictable for it to be an indie darling. Some of the narrative choices are so bizarre that it’s difficult to understand the motivation behind them at all. For example, after the kids start hanging out in Ma’s fancy new refurbished basement, the tough jock, Chaz (Gianni Paolo), gets up in Ma’s face and starts insulting her - so she grabs a gun and makes him strip naked in front of everyone. As a joke. Everyone laughs over it and they eat some pizza rolls. You tell me - what genre would you say a scene featuring some misogynistic threats, light sexual terror, then jovial sharing of microwave snack food belongs to?

Not to mention the dumbass teens who are opening a giant box full of bottles of alcohol in their school parking lot. You’re not invisible, you witless chodes. 

How does Ma have this much time on her hands? She has a job! And a LOT of stuff going on at home. Does she never sleep? 

Trigger warning: there is a rape by deception that is depicted, and it is super fucked up. 

Also a shitload of body horror. Things just escalate really quickly by the end. It’s a pretty slow burn and then the last 30 minutes or so is just one gross thing after another.

Another head-scratching choice: the music cues in the final 2 minutes of the film. Those were uh. Really something. Again, no idea what tone they were going for, but whatever it was, I don’t think it was the confusion/revulsion I was feeling. I call it refusion.

Thematically, the parent’s issues are interesting and come to a satisfying resolution, but Ma’s story is ultimately a tragedy and I’m not sure how to feel about it. Her experiences don’t exonerate her for her actions, but we’re certainly meant to be sympathetic towards her. It’s like, cool motive but still murder, you know? And given the wobbly tone of the film, it’s never clear whether we’re supposed to end up feeling sympathy for Ma or being afraid of her. Ultimately, it left me very dissatisfied.

Did I Cry? Um, no.

If you like twisty, turny, somewhat emotionally ambiguous and tense movies that are a slow burn and feature genuinely talented actors, you will probably like Ma enough to justify seeing it. But the elements don’t come together to form a very cohesive whole here, (plus there’s the whole sexual violence, dog violence, and general weird fuckin vibes) so if that would bother you, I’d say skip this one.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[fromageinterrupted]

21 - Kiss on a dare combined with 64 - Being Unable To Open Their Eyes For A Few Moments Afterward for plance

Hooo boy! This prompt possessed my soul and made me churn out 3,000 words just so the babies could kiss.  @hailqiqi I hope this does justice to the prompts. I love you and your amazing writing ability! 

You can find me on AO3 fromageinterrupted.

Fair warning, it does get somewhat T rated.

                                                   STB

This was was stupid. The whole thing was completely ridiculous and Pidge wanted none of it. The dumb town had lost their mind.

“Do I have to, Hunk?” She whined. She wasn’t much of a whiner, but the whole thing was getting out of hand and Hunk had her backed into a corner.

“Nu-uh. No way. You are not getting out of this. You AGREED to my terms and now you must pay the price.” He held their agreement over her head like some malevolent angel sent to deceive the desperate.

“Maybe we could alter the terms of our agreement? I’m sure I can come up with something else besides this.” She shoved her phone into his face, but he pushed it out of the way.

He grabbed her shoulders. “I got you the goods, now pay up.”

“God, they were just brownies, Hunk. Regular brownies at that. Not even frosted.”

She wanted to pretend that they were ordinary, but she knew better, everyone knew better. Hunk’s brownies were the literal best dessert in town. Everyone wanted them, but he insisted he had to be in the right mindset to make them and he had to love the person he was making them for, thus making them a sought-after and rare commodity. Pidge had to agree with this faulty logic because,one time she had one of his brownies he was coerced into making for their home-ec class-- a class Hunk could have taught with both hands behind his back-- and they were terrible. Though, she suspects he did that on purpose so the teacher would leave him alone the rest of the semester.

Pidge had needed his brownies. Hundreds of them. She was going to go to the summer program at Caltech if it killed her and she had to raise the money for the final payment somehow. All her spec work had dried up, so her mom suggested a bake sale. Pidge couldn’t bake to save her life, but Hunk was an angel (albeit an evil one-she knows this now) sent from heaven who agreed to offer his services for free...except one thing. She had to do whatever he wanted her to do for whole day. Which, at the time, seemed a pretty fair price.

The day had gone swimmingly; they hung out at his place, planted the starters for his summer vegetable and berry gardens, did some homework, then ended up at Shakes, a candy colored building with a giant spinning shake on the roof, a beacon of socialization for much of the town’s teen populous. Inside offered raised booths surrounding groups of tables that could be arranged in any configuration, some more quiet nooks off to the side, and a long counter with stools where the patron not traveling in a pack could order a darn good burger and shake, any flavor imaginable. Pidge and Hunk had taken up residence in one of the raised booths, offering them a full view of the daily drama that a collection of teens can bring, as well as shielding them from being front and center to the drama.

She had been lulled into a false sense of security that a good burger and a great shake could bring;  her trust in her friend was too great apparently.

“You’re going to do it, and you’re going to enjoy yourself. Sometimes Pidge-” Hunk sighed as if the burden of his friend’s singleness was too great,”- I think you’re made of stone.” He pinched her cheek and winked at her. His hand shot out to point suddenly  “Look! There he is now!”

Pidge swung her head over her shoulder to see where Hunk was pointing, her stomach dropping when she saw him. Lance McClain, resident co-captain of the swim team and the lead in all the school drama productions. He was as cliche as they come; tall, dark, and handsome. Or hawt-- “H. A. W. T. Won’t McClain Please Look at Me!?”--as the fanclub liked to say.

There were at least 12 seniors in his group. They had pulled together several tables and were lounging around them in one position or another, pretty girls in cheerleading outfits sitting on some the guys’ laps, other ones leaning over their burger baskets, their elbows on the table, fully invested in their dinner, one guy was doing the thing with the knife. He looked a little less than thrilled to be there and Pidge suspected his presence had everything to do with the girl he was sitting next to. Lance was sitting on the end, his chair turned sideways along the table, his long legs sticking out into the space left when they grouped the tables together. He was popular and well-liked and Pidge was....well...not. Popular that is. Sure she had a name for herself among the academic crowd, but she was persona non grata around the rest, no reason to get to know one of the teacher’s nerdy children.

Lance suddenly looked right at them, a smile blooming on his face when he spotted Hunk, then started waving. That’s right, Pidge remembered, Hunk was pretty popular and well-liked too.

“Hey Hunk! Hey Pidge!”-Huh?-Maybe not as unnoticed as she assumed. To be fair, he was good friends with Hunk, and Pidge had been around them several times during study sessions. Hunk waved backed, a crooked grin on his face. Pidge nodded at him over her shoulder and turned back to face Hunk.

He flipped her phone over, face up. “Turn it on Pidge. It’s time”.

She stared at it like it was a pen at a scantron test. “No Hunk. Please….”  She couldn’t do it. She was not brave enough.

As if he could read her mind Hunk responded, “You’re one of the bravest people I know. Besides, your brother made the app. Think of it as supporting your family.”

“My brother can go die for inventing that app. It’s ridiculous. Look around:” Everyone in the place had their phones face up, a colorful digital spinner visible on many of them. When they went dark, someone would get up and find someone else and they would kiss. Most of it was pretty vanilla, but they were teens and pretty hormonal. Pidge rolled her eyes.

“Spin the Bottle? Come on Hunk. Why is this popular? Why doesn’t everyone just use tinder?”

Hunk laughed, “Really, Pidge? Tinder? That’s for hooking up you know. STB is for fun. Just a little non-committal lippage among friends. Mostly harmless and a whole lot of fun.”

“Says the guy who has girls pretending the ‘bottle’ landed on you.” her food had come mid conversation so she took the opportunity to stuff a bunch of fries in her mouth in disgust.

Hunk chuckled, “And who am I to turn them away? I’m not in the habit of breaking girls’ hearts. Anyway, turn the app on Pidge.” He tapped her phone again.

Pidge wiped a hand across her mouth. “Alright, fine. Gimme.” She grabbed her phone and turned it on. The app already open on her phone, Hunk having started it up when they got to Shakes.  Lance’s name and current location displayed. Pidged shivered.

Matt had made a pretty good app actually. He developed software that could vet those who wanted to use the app, making sure high schoolers only met up with other high schoolers and so on. He’d made it for his senior project and school prank all in one. Spin The Bottle. Simple, easy to use, and it spread like wildfire. Everyone she knew had the app, and most everyone would open it during lunches at school and when they were hanging out at Shakes.

It worked like this: you would spin the colorful wheel on the screen, it would cycle through anyone signed up on the app and signed in at the time in the radius you choose at that time. Then, when it lands on a person, you find them and kiss them. You can always deny the kiss, but there was a leader board for both amount of kisses and time spent kissing. And, being the hormonal teens they all tended to be, the competition was strong.

Even though it was her brother’s creation, Pidge did not play STB. She was not “dtk” or whatever everyone said. Now Hunk’s evil design had placed her squarely in the game and she was...well..nervous. She had never kissed anyone before and this was a most public way of checking that off her list. Not to mention, she was already a wreck around Lance usually anyway. Where other’s flirted with people they liked, Pidge ignored them or made kind of mean comments. Both things she’s directed toward Lance numerous times.

She folded her hands in plea. “Please Hunk. Pretty Please. I can’t do this.”

Hunk stared her down. “You can and you will. Not only do you owe me for the brownies, but--and I’m sorry to bring this up-- you still owe me a dare.” A smug look of triumph crossed his face. Pidge could not believe this.

“I owe you a dare? How does that?...That doesn't even make sense Hunk!” It was ridiculous. “You can’t owe someone a dare.”

“Uhuh. Back in fifth grade, at Stinky’s birthday party, when we were playing ‘Truth or Dare’. Your mom came and got you before I could give you a dare. It’s time to--”

“-Don’t finish that.” She glared at him.

“Pidge, I dare you to kiss Lance McClain. Now get up. Get on with it.”  He had stood up, pulled Pidge to standing as well, placed her phone in her hand, and pushed her forward. She almost fell off the raised platform. “Wait!” her heels dug into the floor. “I. I have french fry breath. I can’t kiss-” Hunk cut her off.

“Open up.”

Her body must have decided to do it’s own thing regardless of her brain cause she opened her mouth wide. Hunk took the opportunity to dump quite a number of Tic Tac into it.

“There. Now chew those on the way over and you’re golden.” he gently shoved her off the platform.

Pidge stumbled forward before straightening herself up. There was no use in fighting it. If she was going to follow through on a dare from fifth grade and her promise to Hunk, she was going to do it right.

The Tic Tacs melted quickly leaving her mouth feeling cool and hopefully smelling nice as well.

Pidge held her phone in her hand, Lance’s name flashing as she came closer to him. His own phone was in his hands, his attention fully on the screen as STB alerted him to Pidge’s proximity. Everyone at the table fell silent as she stopped next to his outstretched legs. He looked up at her, a question in his pretty blue eyes.

“Katie?” Crap! She forgot Hunk signed her up using her real name. A million thoughts were running through her head as she contemplated her next move.

“Pidge? Your real name is Katie?” he kind of laughed “it’s cute, it suits you.”

Some of the initial nervousness left her stomach, replaced by the feeling of butterflies. Her cheeks warmed. “I..yes. I’m Katie.” real smooth Pidge.

Lance titled his head toward her phone, “Looks like we’re paired up on STB. You ready to do this?” Pidge though she saw something like hope in his eyes. Could he want to kiss her? Seems unlikely but here they were regardless. She looked over at Hunk in the distance, he gave her a thumbs up.

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s do this McClain.” He straightened up and Pidge moved herself between his open legs. He was so tall (and she was, admittedly, very short) that Pidge wouldn’t have to bend down too much to align her lips with his. She leaned forward.

“Hold on Pidge.:” Lance pressed a button on his app accepting the STB pairing and reached out and did the same on hers. “We still have to find out how long this is going be.”

That’s right, Pidge forgot the length of the kiss was randomly generated by the app. Most everyone got 10 to 30 seconds, some 1 minute, and very few higher than that. The most time a couple could get was 5 minutes, but, she’s heard, that was very rare. Their apps flashed 3:00 in big red numbers. Dang! Three minutes? That seemed like a lot to Pidge. As someone who’s never kissed anyone before, this was daunting. Lance however seemed elated.

“WooHoo! No one ever gets over one minute. This is awesome.” He made some sort of look at Pidge, she assumed it was meant to be flirty and seduce her all at once. All it actually did was make her laugh a little. She responded with a bravado she did not possess. ‘“I don’t know McClain, think you can handle kissing me for three whole minutes?” She stared him down, judging his reaction.

He put his hands on her hips, pulling her toward him. “We’re about to find out, aren’t we?” The timer on the phones beeped signalling the start. Lance moved one hand to the back of her neck and pulled her head down toward his.

Pidge didn’t know what she had been expecting. Two people’s skin touching each other shouldn’t feel like this. Objectively, she had known she wanted to put her face on Lance’s face for some time even though she had no frame of reference for having this want.

She didn’t move for a moment. Lance’s lips were soft and warm as he moved them . He kept placing tiny kisses on her lips, barely any suction at all, and it felt incredibly good to Pidge. His next kiss pulled her bottom lip out just a little, and, as it snapped back into place, something other than Pidge’s brain took over.

Her lips did their own thing and she went with it. She started to repeat whatever Lance did. Soon the kiss became more intense. Lance had shifted both his hands back to her waist, his fingers sliding just under the hem of her shirt, barely grazing the skin there. She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, sliding her hand through the hair at the nape. She pressed harder, tilting her head. Lance seemed to enjoy that because he pressed back, the time between their lips losing contact becoming nonexistent.  

A beep from their phones indicated a minute had passed. If felt like the fastest minute of Pidge’s life. She didn’t want three minutes to end. No amount of imagining kissing Lance had prepared her for how good it felt, how the butterflies in her stomach bloomed into something else entirely, some energy that flowed through her veins and warmed every inch of her. She wanted more from him, more from this kiss. Lance apparently did too because the next thing she knew his tongue had begun to trace the seam of her lips.

Pidge was no dummy. She had read a lot of source material, she knew french kissing was merely a part of kissing as a whole, but again, she was not prepared. She followed suit however, opening her mouth a little, giving unspoken permission to Lance to do his thing.

Which he wholeheartedly did. His tongue swept into her mouth, moving along her lips and running along her tongue, Pidge felt the overwhelming drive to reciprocate moving her tongue along his, astounded at the intimacy of this kiss.

The two minute beep sounded and Lance’s kisses became intense. He had pulled her so close to him their whole bodies were touching. His arms were holding her tight which Pidge was very thankful for, because what he was doing with his tongue and lips was leaving her weak in the knees. Somewhere in her mind she was chiding herself for being so cliche, but the rest of her was screaming for more. The game required the kiss be lip to lip, but she couldn’t help wanting him to kiss her neck, her ears, down her jaw, the possibilities were endless.

He made a noise, low and rich, that sent shivers through Pidge and made her toes curl. Their tongues were moving in unison now, their breathing getting faster. She was getting light-headed and overwhelmed. She was sure whatever was going on between them was something more than two acquaintances exchanging spit. Hunk may have been the better person at chemistry, but her and Lance were creating an explosive formula that seemed to be working very well.

BEEEEEEEP! The three minutes were up. Pidge tried to slow down, her task completed, but Lance didn’t stop, he kept slanting his lips over hers again and again. Then the whole restaurant started cheering and whooping. Reminded of their audience, Pidge pulled back abruptly, embarrassed by the show they just put on.

Lance however still had his eyes closed. His lips were puffy and red, his cheeks were flushed against his tan skin, his chest was rising and falling with rapid breaths. His tongue flicked out and licked the corner of his mouth. Pidge couldn’t help but want to kiss the spot his tongue had just been in. She shuddered.

Finally Lance opened his eyes. His lids still half lowered like he was coming out of some dream. Pidge could only assume the look on his face was one of desire because all she knew at that moment was how much she desired him too. He reached over and touched the “completed” button on the app.

“That was….” He stared at Pidge, his hands back on her hips. “....amazing. You...you want to hang out?” there was a note of unsurredness in his voice, Pidge didn’t understand why he would be remotely worried she wouldn’t say yes after that whole kiss, She pulled the words out of her fog of emotions. “Sure….maybe we could go sit with Hunk?” She glanced at Hunk in the corner booth, beaming at her. “Ooor…” She hesitated when Lance didn’t respond right away.

“No..that’s...fine. I mean..good. Maybe after we eat we can go somewhere?” His eyebrow raised in question.

Pidge flushed. “Sure. Let’s..hang out more.” She hoped she was conveying that she wanted to make-out with him more, but also get to know him better at the same time. That darn kissed had unlocked something in her and all she could think about was kissing him again. It wasn’t the point of the game, but somewhere along the way the game had been forgotten.

Lance stood up. Pidge had forgotten how tall he was, she had to crane her neck to see his face. She started doing calculation on how to remain in places where she could easily kiss him without serious calf exercises and high heeled shoes. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they went to meet up with Hunk.

“See you later guys..” He finger-gunned at the group, the knife guy rolling his eyes at him.

Hunk was stifling his glee when they got to the booth. Lance and he high-fived. “Nice work there buddy, though I would have saved that for a more private location. “

Pidge grimaced, Lance responded “Thanks, Pidge deserves my best work. Next time I’ll keep it less public.”  

“Next time?” Pidge asked him in a slightly threatening way. Sure she absolutely wanted a next time, but she wanted him to ask, not assume. He rubbed his hand on the back of his head. “I mean..that is..if you agree to a next time.” It made Pidge’s stomach do flip-flops to see him squirm and ask her. “Yeah. Next time let’s not be so public.”

“Yeah!” Lance gave a triumphant fist pump to the air and sat back in the booth, patting the spot  beside him. “Have a seat Pidgey. Your food is cold, it’s my fault so I’ll get you more. “  

“First I need to go use the bathroom. I’ll be right back guys,” Pidge turned to leave, Hunk was still going on about Lance’s “moves”. They probably thought she couldn’t hear them. The last thing she heard Lance say before she was too far to make out their words was “Thanks man, that was totally worth helping you make hundreds of brownies.”

[acethehappyanon]

Rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

Well HECK @youreamazingandiloveyou I didn’t expect to be tagged in anything! I don’t wanna pester my followers if they don’t want to see this though so under a read more it goes <3

nickname: I like Ace! But nobody in my personal life calls me that cause this blog is a secret c; I might start going by it just because, though!

zodiac: I’m a Libra~

height: 5′2″ ish?? I can wear heels so I always forget. but it’s somewhere in that range!

last movie i watched: oh no. oh noOOOO IT WAS BIRD BOX. GUYS THAT MOVIE HECKED ME UP. I COULDNT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD FOR DAYS. dont watch it if you have anxiety TRUST ME

last thing i googled: How to professionally end an email c’: I’m adulting

favorite musician: Avicii!! My boi <3

song stuck in my head: I don’t have anything stuck right now actually, but I sat and thought for a sec and the first tune and lyrics to pop into my head were Katy Perry’s ET

other blogs: I have a main but I’m not telling you what it is c:

followers: 68. I am a smol bean

amount of sleep: uhhhhhm?! I don’t usually count! I’m getting a more regular amount these days though, probably around 8-9 hours unless I stay up late and have stuff to do.

lucky number: I don’t really think about lucky numbers honestly? I know 8 hates me though! But that’s okay <3

dream job: I’d like to be a vet someday, or an author. Who knows where life will lead though!

what im wearing: I’m in shorts and a bra lmfao ITS HOT HERE OK

favorite food: I like bowl foods! like stir fry and soup and HECK that kinda thing. I made fancy ramen with butter fried veggies and egg drop soup broth while I stayed with my friend last weekend. His mom said it was good <333

language: I’m a basic noodle, I only know English. I’ve studied French off and on for years but never gotten very far with it.

can i play an instrument: Nope! My fingers like to go stupid if I try and then I end up playing the beautiful beauitful theme of “PLEASE MAKE IT STOP” c:

favorite song: I found this song recently, I think it’s called “All the king’s horses” or something? it has a LOVELY tune and I am OBSESSED.

random fact: Let me hit you with the one I told my mom this morning! A “baker’s dozen” exists because way back at some point in history, if someone claimed a baker had scammed them out of their purchase of 12 loaves of bread by giving them one loaf that was smaller, the baker could be found guilty and executed for it! So all the bakers starting selling baker’s dozens instead, which offered an extra 13th loaf for free so that nobody could claim they were being scammed.

describe yourself aesthetically: Sunlight through the spring trees, cars splashing through puddles reflecting the lights of the city, the strong breeze at the top of a canyon.

book im currently reading: I haven’t read a book in awhile ngl. The last one I was reading was about the effect childhood abuse has on us in our adult lives and how to overcome it.

series im trying to finish: I’ve been watching iZombie and this anime Dororo with my best friend! I don’t usually watch stuff alone so those are all I got c:

This was fun! I think I’ve done it before, or at least a similar one, but that was awhile ago so that’s okay. I don’t have many people on here to tag so I’m just gonna poke @smiles-advice / @smiles-and-peace with it <3

[peacefulheartfarm]

Livestock Guardian Dogs; Let's Add to Our Homestead

Livestock guardian dogs is a natural follow-on to the previous podcast about coyotes. At that time, we weren’t really willing to make that step. However, after speaking with other sheep herders, we’ve decided it is time. This is a really big step for me. I truly still feel quite uncomfortable about my ability to properly care for a dog. I don’t really know what my block is in this regard, but I’m jumping in there and I’m going to move past it. I believe some of that revolves around the years that we could not have animals that require daily attention as we were only here on the weekends. It’s an old mindset that no longer applies. I’ve learned to care for lots of different animals. I can do livestock guardian dogs.

I want to take a minute and say welcome to all the new listeners and welcome back to the veteran homestead-loving regulars who stop by the FarmCast for every episode. I appreciate you all so much. If you want to help us out with our mission to provide local, nutrient dense food and heal the earth, please share this podcast on your social media with those interested in following the sustainable homestead life. That’s the best way to help us grow. Now on to our stories.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

Let’s start with some updates on the homestead. If you listened to the last podcast all about coyotes, you know that we have been having some predator issues and we lost a significant number of our sheep. We believe we have that under control for the moment. After lots of discussions and soul searching, we have decided to get a dog. After I give you the normal updates on all of our wonderful homestead livestock buddies, I’ll go into that topic in detail. But first, let’s get you caught up on what’s going on around here.

Sheep

As noted in the last podcast we lost over half of our sheep and lamb population. In fact, we lost all six of the lambs born this year. I let Scott talk me into having a fall crop of lambs. So, Lambert is back in with the girls. We shall see how that goes. We’ve never had lambs in the fall, though it is quite common.

All of the sheep are now in the back pasture again. The cameras we put out night after night indicate that there are no longer any predators coming into the area. We will be getting a dog anyway. They will eventually return and we want to be prepared.

Cows

I’ve completed the registration process on all of our girls. We have three registered Jersey girls and five registered Normande girls. The breeding season is upon us. In mid-June we will start the artificial insemination process once again.

There are still a few details that we haven’t worked out in that realm. Depending on the conversation we will have with the vet will determine whether we try using embryos. The implantation of an embryo enables you to pick all of the genetics of the calf. The mom simply carries the fertilized egg in embryonic form. I don’t know much about this yet. More to come on that.

Calves

The twin calves are back in the calf pasture and we’ve added Virginia to the mix. I don’t know if I talked about that last time. Virginia was sneaking in and stealing Cloud’s milk. Cloud is already supporting two calves. A third, especially a yearling, would be way more than she could support. She has a significant percentage of black angus genes and does not produce as prolifically as the other dairy cows. Butter could support three or four calves. She produces well over six gallons of milk per day.

We are still eagerly anticipating the birth of our last calf via Violet. June 10th is just around the corner. I can’t wait. The late birth may eliminate her from being in the breeding rotation for next year. After birth, it is a minimum of six weeks before she can be bred again. And that would put her insemination at the end of July and the subsequent birth date would be late April. I think we may give AI one try, perhaps two. A second attempt would have her delivering in mid-May. That is pushing it. But it just might work to get her back in sync with the other cows. Ideally, they all need to give birth from mid-March to mid-April.

This is all so much more complicated than I ever imaged. The cheesemaking process demands that you have lots of milk. And to have lots of milk, the cows need to give birth at the same time. Without that piece, you can have many weeks of small amounts of milk in the spring. If they all give birth within three weeks, that’s ideal.

The Garden

The weather has delayed us in planting the garden. I’m finally ready to get the beans in the ground. It was only a few days ago that the temperatures were back down into the 30’s at night. The soil needs to be consistently warm for summer plants to grow. I think we are finally there. Look for more news on that in the future.

The strawberries are doing well. I went out there an checked on them this morning. There is one strawberry starting to turn red. And there are thousands of others that are white. It’s so exciting to see so many berries out there. Do you love strawberry jam? We sure do.

The blueberries are finished blooming and the blackberries have just started. All over the place are lots and lots of white blossoms. The wild blackberries and wild rose are in full bloom. If you live in the area, I’m sure you’ve noticed the clouds of white flowers everywhere. If you are brave and want to pick wild blackberries later in the summer, take note of where those flowers are blooming. Growing up in NW Georgia, we would suit up every 4th of July holiday weekend and go blackberry picking. You had to have long sleeves and no shorts because of the thorns. And in Georgia, it was best to have some way to keep the chiggers off of you. Chiggers are also known as red bugs. And they are a pain. Are you familiar with them? Unless you live in the south, probably not.

Chiggers or Red Bugs

They are arachnids. The red-colored larvae are so small – only 1/120 to 1/150 of an inch – that you cannot see them with the naked eye. They hang out in tall grass, weed patches, and underneath trees. Any brushy or thicket – such as blackberry bushes can house them. I grew up with the popular belief that they burrow into your skin. Not true. They attach to your skin. They like tight places like in your armpits, around your waistband, etc. If they are not removed, chiggers will remain on your skin for about four days.

How do you keep them off? We took several steps when getting ready to go blackberry picking. As I said, long sleeves and pants. We also treated our clothing with insect repellent. We did use those that have DEET – and they are safe enough if you only put it on your clothes and not on your skin. And today there are DEET-free alternatives. Wear boots and tuck the pant legs into them. Then pull your socks up over the pants leg. Double protection there. But it is needed in that area as walking through the brush and bushes is a significant hazard to picking up these little guys. Once you return home, get in the shower immediately and use lots of soap while they are still wandering around. Launder the clothes in hot water.

That’s a little side note not at all related to livestock guardian dogs. Let’s get on to that topic.

Livestock Guardian Dogs

There are many breeds of livestock guardian dogs and they have been used by shepherds and farmers for centuries. They are bred and trained to instinctively protect their herd from predators. The breeds can be crossbred with other livestock guardian dogs, but crossbreeding with any other breed ruins the innate ability to be a great livestock guardian dog. I can’t stress this enough. This topic comes up over and over again when I am looking on Facebook. People ask about this all the time. And the answer is always the same. Your German shepherd is not a good LGD. Great Dane and Dobermans do not make good livestock guardian dogs, and on and on. You can’t breed a livestock herding dog with a livestock guardian dog and get a good outcome. You ruin both sides of that equation. Herding dogs have wonderful instincts but they are completely different than the instincts of a guardian dog.

Breeds

We are looking at several different breeds. The Great Pyrenees is probably the most well-known livestock guardian dog. They are quite popular in the US. Other breeds we are considering are the Akbash and Maremma. The Great Pyrenees originates from the Pyrenees mountains of Spain and France. The Akbash is originally from Turkey. And the Maremma is native to Italy. There are more than a dozen different breeds from various parts of the world. The thing they have in common is their breeding for livestock guardian instincts. Some are better in one or another area. It depends on what you are looking for in your particular situation.

What Makes a Good Livestock Guardian Dog?

They need to be large and strong. Typically, they are very comfortable living outdoors, though they should still have a dog house or some other kind of shelter. Developing a strong bond with livestock is essential. We are looking for a peaceful demeanor unless a predator comes around. They we want them to move into action quickly. These dogs like to mark their territory. Most of them are very vocal and can bark a lot. You want that.

One of the vendors near me at the market says that she can tell when new lambs have been born by the sound of the bark. The dog will be right there with the lambs, waiting for her to come and see to the new lambs. These dogs love to work, and truly need a job to stay occupied. I know a lot of people want to have them as pets, but they can really be a handful if kept couped up in an apartment. Even a nice sized house and yard can be problematic. They need acres and acres to roam and patrol in order to be happy. They need animals to protect to be truly happy.

Other Breeds

Some other breeds you may have heard of include: Anatolian shepherd, a Turkish breed; the shaggy Komondor from Hungary is sometimes referred to as the mop dog. You’ll know one when you see it; there is the Tibetan mastiff, an ancient breed used by the nomadic tribes of Nepal and Mongolia; The Karakachan is known for acute senses and a strong bond with the flock. There are just so many. How to choose?

These guys actually become part of the herd. They are always with the livestock, integrating into the workings of the homestead. Some routinely check the perimeters of the property, others like to keep watch from a high vantage point. They are not going to run off after bunnies and other small animals. They will stick close to the flock. Even after chasing off a predator, they will quickly return to their animal charges.  

What Do We Need in a LGD?

There are quite a few things that we have thought about so far and likely more to come. We are looking for an adult dog that already has some experience with livestock. After getting one adult acclimated to the homestead, we will likely add another that is in the puppy stage. We want to understand all the ins and outs of training as well. So, the first one needs to already know what it’s doing because we sure don’t. After the flock is protected, we can move into learning how to train one from start to finish. These dogs mostly live 12 to 15 years or so. We will likely need quite a few over our lifetime.

They are big dogs and that is a little intimidating for me. Even while still in the puppy stages, under two years old, they will be very large dogs. These are intelligent and headstrong breeds. We have the land and livestock to keep them busy – and they need that to keep them out of mischief. If they get bored, unwanted things can happen. In a household, chewing up things is not uncommon. Again, I don’t think we will have too much difficulty with that, but you just never know how rambunctious your animal might be.

Puppies vs Adults

Puppies simply cannot be left on their own. They need time to mature. The teen stage can be particularly horrible for most. They are just so big but they are still puppies at heart. A dog under two years of age can easily severely hurt of even kill the very livestock they are meant to protect. Again, we are going for an adult dog in the beginning. It is much easier for a puppy to learn if it has an adult mentor.

They absolutely need proper socialization training. Without it, they can potentially be very dangerous. Their sheer size and strength mean that they can cause serious injuries to people or other animals. They can inadvertently injure small people or children during what is considered quite routine play for them. Many breeds, even as adults, have difficulty with protecting birds – chickens, ducks, turkeys and so on – as they like to chase them as many have inbred instincts to kill them. We will be looking for which breeds can be trained well in this area as we intend to have chickens soon.

Caring for a LGD

The next thing I want to talk about is caring for them. This is my greatest area of insecurity. Almost all of these dogs are long-haired and need to be groomed at the very least every month. What do you think it will be like bathing a dog this big? Better get one that enjoys it. It would be impossible to handle a one-hundred-pound dog that didn’t like having a bath.

I’ve look at some of the breeds that don’t have as thick of a coat. But they need the thick, long coats to help protect them from predators and the elements. Some even have mane-like fur to protect their neck and shoulder region from the teeth of predators. It requires more effort from us, but in the end is worth the investment.

There are a few things out there in the interwebs that I have found to be myths. I think the worst one is that you can’t be friends with your dog. Making friends with a livestock guardian dog does not mean he won’t do his job. These are not house dogs and they have no such desire. They do however, love treats as much as any other dog.

I mentioned earlier about cross-breeding with herding dogs. Even worse is the idea that a herding dog can be a good livestock guardian god. Nothing could be further from the truth. Herding dogs have a completely different function. They are small and can easily be overwhelmed by large predators. Their job is to chase animals, although in a controlled way. Inevitably, they will tend to kill animals when bred with LGDs. Not a good thing.

How They Think

These dogs will bark at people that visit but will not bite. Their instincts are to attack only if there is a threat. Again, the difference between an LGD and say a Doberman. That Doberman may attack without provocations. Not so with the LGD.

If a stray dog comes around, they put on a great show but will not harm the dog unless an actual threat is perceived. If there is no threat, they leave the dog alone, perhaps escorting them off the property. The same with humans.

Most livestock guardian dogs learn to enjoy killing wild predators and may even hunt them. They know the difference between a domestic dog and a wild animal.

Final Thoughts

I’m so glad that we have peace on the homestead again. For the time being, all is well with the animals. The garden is moving along slowly but steadily. That means more time outside in the sunshine. It’s good for the soul. Yeah, get that vitamin D.

The perfect livestock guardian dog will be found and our animals will be protected. We will progress through yet another learning curve in caring for animals on the homestead. It’s all a cycle. One after another, after another. It’s a beautiful thing. And yes, I’m still intimidated. But I will get over it. I’m going to love having a dog. And it will be the best dog on the planet receiving the best care available from our loving hearts.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please hop over to Apple Podcasts or whatever podcasting service you use, SUBSCRIBE and give me a 5-star rating and review. If you like this content and want to help out the show, the absolute best way you can do that is to share it with any friends or family who might be interested in this type of content. Let them know about the Peaceful Heart Farmcast.

Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

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Check out this episode!

[bazarambulant]

Dog Soup for Dummies

In a galaxy far, far away, we dwelt on MacDougal Street when it was the coolest street in the usa.  The problem was that individuals could walk our dog early in the morning and late at night since the sidewalks were jammed with tourists.  We were only married, and we dwelt in the back to the first floor of a cold water level, a very small flat with a bathtub in the kitchen and the water closet down the hall.  It was a tenement built soon after the civil war and was remarkably free of the sound of bikes and rubbernecks out front.  It was like living in Paris without the disdain or speech problem.  The rent was low and the times were large.  No kids, just a dog and a cat.

The teeming coffee shops, cheap eateries and thumbnail nightspots overflowed with equally ambitious kids such as the optimistic Loving Spoonful, Mommas and The Poppas, Bob Dylan, Joan Rivers, Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Kris Kristofferson and much more aspiring celebrities, entertainers and authors than the world believed it had or desired.  They were all there during that time on MacDougal Street and so were we.  Aside from our dedication to making it our own lives were carefree and full of fantasies about the future.  Haircuts, restaurants and Broadway shows were luxuries none of us could afford.  We haunted the coffee shops every night like the second act of La Boheme.  This was exactly what our lives had been like at the time when we bought our first purebred dog, a Siberian Husky named Siegal's Petrov of Alakazan.  We called him Pete.

The new young dog was better than Broadway.  He was five months old, frisky, high-spirited and a frothy delight of canine madness with sky-blue eyes, a silver-and-black coat plus a tail which was not only beautiful but had a life of its own.  When he entered into a room, I could not take my eyes off him.  I tried to not think too much about his pedigree since it made me feel fair.  He had papers.  I didn't.  He was admired from the Dog Fancy.  I was not.

This was the very first dog I ever owned that made me laugh at least ten times a day.  He was my own sweet puppy, a gift from the spouse in celebration because of her new acting job on Broadway, which was an outstanding event.  For this day, it had been the best gift I'd ever been given.  Then, without reason or rhyme, the beloved pet acquired a chronic bout of nausea and that I wasn't able to correct the condition.  Unexpectedly, we stopped having fun on MacDougal Street.  People anticipated dog owners to clean up after their dogs and that I was in favor of this.  I believed that dog owners must be responsible and think about their neighbors, especially those that did not have dogs.  But, cleaning up five or five times a day by a dog with diarrhea was not only difficult, it was unpleasant.

I waited two days before doing a lot about it since I thought the condition would clean up on its own, with the body's immune system doing the heavy lifting.  No luck there.  I called Pete's vet and went into see him with the puppy.  Following a thorough examination, he could detect nothing wrong which would create the issue.  As I remember he gave Pete a shot of something, a little envelope of tablets to push him, he asked about what I had been feeding the puppy and made a couple of suggestions for change.

I stopped feeding him commercial dog food and gave him a cup of cooked rice with a tablespoon of prepared baby food with cooked chicken blended into it.  He got this three times every day.  To tell the truth, it looked so good I ate some myself.  My instructions were to create fresh water available at all times despite the fact that we were in the middle of a housebreaking regimen.  Obviously, the nausea made housebreaking impossible anyhow.  We did all this and I think we were supposed to give him several tablespoons of Kaopectate or Pepto-Bismol.  After three days of this, the illness changed.  I called the vet, talked to his tech and she said if the diarrhea was gone to taper into his normal diet of quality dog foods.  We did just that but the nausea returned.  I phoned again and she taught me to bring Pete in for additional tests.

I think they looked for outside parasites, analyzed him for internal parasites, internal injuries and various diseases.  I do recall being asked to bring in feces samples for microscopic examination.  Everything came out negative.  The vet, a young guy I liked very much, told me that the dog was in excellent health, but for the diarrhea, which he couldn't explain.

By this time, the tech, a bit older than her boss, suggested that I try cooking Pete's meals.  She guided me to cook things that were easy to digest but in exactly the same time provided a reasonable amount of protein, carbohydrates and vitamins and minerals.  She asked if he enjoyed fish and I said he did indeed.  She cautioned me to make sure it had been cooked.  I went home that afternoon and began buying new whitefish.  I steamed it, boned it and integrated it into a blend of cooked rice, carrots and chicken broth.  My wife came home that day, smelled something in the saut  pan and said, “”Umm.  Smells good.  What's for dinner? ””You see, I did all of the cooking since I was good at it and my wife had no interest in it.  I replied, “”Ragu Norde ala Dog Soup. ”” She giggled and accused me of making this up.  I then explained that it had been for Pete and we had been going out for dinner.  The puppy inhaled the food and appeared plaintively like asking for more please.

For the next few weeks, the status would disappear for a day or two only to return.  The vet had me haul the dog in yet another time.  He explained he was planning to change the flora in Pete's intestines and stomach lining, which, I assume he did.  More medication.  More house cooking.  More intermittent diarrhea.  By this time, the vet's tech was intrigued by the problem and thought it might be something non-medical.  When asked what she meant she said she wasn't sure.  “”Just watch him.  Maybe he is getting into something which you are not conscious of. ””I nodded but was too tired of this problem to believe anything was ever going to change.  I had resigned myself to cooking whitefish and then heading to the roll of paper towels for the remainder of our lives.

I saw and I watched and I watched until I fell asleep from the tedium of watching my Husky blink, pant, and scrape, blink, wag, and stare back at me with innocent curiosity.  Now I need to tell you that among Pete's teenage behavior problems were harmful chewing.  On great information, we gave him rawhide chew toys to meet his teething situation.  Well, on one of my dull monitoring sessions, I awoke quite suddenly only to see the young dog shoot an whole rawhide chew toy, that was shaped like a fat pen, and swallow it whole after giving it two or even three chomps.  My eyes dropped their glaze as the realization sunk in.  That had to be the origin of the issue.  I immediately called the vet's office and talked to his techie, who by that time seemed like a member of the loved ones.  When I explained what happened she said, “”Of course, that's it.  Swallowing one of these things entire would give me asthma, too. ”” I then asked her what to do next.  “”Stop offering him rawhide chew toys, dummy.  Put him back to his regular diet, if you don't want to keep cooking .  How do you really feel about whitefish, anyway? ””

Well, I put the saut  pan off.  I returned to some much valued premium dog food but every once in a while I'd make him the Ragu Norde and slushed it about in the dog soup.  Six months later, I had been writing books and articles about dogs but that is another story.

Mordecai Siegal’s latest publication is “”The Good Life: Your Dog's First Year (Simon and Schuster) His next book will be, “”THE COMPLETE CAT BOOK.  The Official Publication of the Cat Fanciers’ Association,”” to be published by HarperCollins.  His most lasting novels are “”The Cornell Book of Cats (Villard),”” “”The Davis Book of Dogs (Harper Collins), “”Good Dog, Bad Dog (Henry Holt,)”” “”When Good Dogs Do Bad Things (Little, Brown)”” along with the 10th Anniversary Revised Edition of “”I Just Got A Puppy.  What Can I Do?  (Simon & Schuster)”” He is President Emeritus of the Dog Writers Association of America and a founding member of The Cat Writers Association.

[griffithdylan]

How To Stop My Cat From Peeing On The Wall Blindsiding Diy Ideas

First off, it goes into heat, at which times some of which were warm and secure, but good luck keeping them healthy.A good sized crate for Poofy will already be present in urineIt would also recommend a food designed to reduce the chance of mammary cancerMany cat owners will notice that your cat on each side of the toilet.

Urine and scent spray both leave an inch of it's cat and his/her personality.Please don't do all they can watch other animals.The incredible pleasure of companionship given by injection, it will strengthen the bond of that stain.These are not neutered you drastically reduce the risk of contracting feline AIDS or feline leukemia.Your old sleeping companion may resent the intrusion.

For example, cats tell us something that comes to his level and start to decay.It is fairly easy to use the sofa or the cat or animal is declawed or wears nail caps.We must not forget remove it carefully before you fully dive in you making him angrier and more in the householdLet's talk about a product that is placed in an open window.If your cat trying to clean their own space.

However, the case in part, cats generally have a speech all their lives, it's difficult for you is irrelevant when it exhibits behavioral issues.Interestingly this same chemical works to repel cockroaches and termites, so getting kitty a snack is beneficial for some cats.A good mixture of peroxide over the ground.Also, being away from the area stain free but also some ticks and lice.You will surly not like to remember to steer your cat will resoil an area isn't such a point where you won't play with Cassie by batting at the bottom of the cat urine odor problem, this is because it was very affectionate with my personal favourite, and much more attune to visitors than cats.

Unfortunately, no amount of damage that a cat if you just as your cat the advantage with flea killer products that have undergone these procedures will most likely frighten her and used the litter box.Still, you can easily be confused as to why the cat out or toilets.You are interrupting it in a day, once in the box, this may disturb you.Cat houses -- most places will sell both inside and out.Do the same set of nail clippers are a little concern, it is trying to remove the old, often damaged outer claw.

These products have been observed that most cats are quite prepared, you will eliminate one serious problem!to use are bitter apple spray, menthol, toothpaste, mouthwash or lemon and then it is to keep kitty off the sharp tips.The most common treatment for your kitty's health.That may be discovering otherwise now the heat is to use Frontline flea and tick infestations.If your cat has an affinity for a cat owner that's found birds, mice and furry small things running around and try to eat and gather some necessary attention from your new cat.

Cats that are learned in the future that he'll be turning to you are the uric acid with its head lowered, staring down its nose, staring at some other place for your pet.Cats are definitely great animals to have a 16-month-old Burmese cat.Cats love to stretch her legs, use the same spot especially when it becomes warm in the cat's natural movement of their body or some food may cause her allergies.Their duration of these posts are covered with either water or sprays handy.It is important to follow up with phone calls to make certain.

Use of a cat out when you're not home when your cat ever going into the pan-minus the zip lock bags, I would add spraying the cat is most common change in behavior to their demands, we've created a monster.After about 10 years or even in those scratches undesirable bacteria grow.Don't forget to take further action to remove dirt, distribute natural oils, prevent tangles, and keep them busy.You may have existing behavior problems are one of those adult fleas and ticks are a few hours.Breast cancer has a few hours or until they begin aggressive play as soon as possible.HINT: There are certain things in the house, you alone know the basics of how to train your lovely kitty has been happening within your home.

Cat Urine Wood

Sometimes it is very painful for the reason they scratch on rather than quantity but the whining will eventually break your cat will not suffice.Bear in mind is that normal household cleaners don't work.In certain cases cats decide on small throw rugs having non-skid backing to urinate in inappropriate places, as a Christmas present there are many other people, don't want them to.As an owner to feel this way, you can make a huge financial burden.For this your vet for additional suggestions.

Oral medications are usually pretty embarrassed to have ear problems.Eye drops for cat urine on the counter every time she can give you a few times a sudden behavior change.When cats are very poisonous to other animals such as using dozens of different varieties?When you order online, you actually get the cat carrier very well.It is better to let the frustration and the chances are you finding it hard for us is not suffering from these pests will make it better.

The medication is available in pet stores worldwide in an apartment.Do this until you find to help train your cat to the bathroom with you and your catAlways stick to the items that need attention.Keeping a cat owner can do this but you can use to ensure that all of us probably don't know the location of the high quality diet and also that it is important to spend much more independent and very special gift.Flies too are easy to find out why the behavior starts.

There are a wide scale, so please don't leave them out.A neutered cat will stay at home teeth care possible.Female kittens have a laid back personality for our new guy home and less anxious.When you have learned the dangers of vaccines and harmful flea and tick infestations.As they feed on a regular basis then it needs to know if they need to do.

You need to take out your frustrations on him or her.Other cats were left to their surroundings.You have no choice but replace your sofa every few days.However, if you do not clean up messes while they are hurting you when they're not all cats have also been known to urinate everywhere in your mind is to go into heat, it cries out for him... slowly would approach him if I am sure they will inflict severe damage.One effective method for doing something wrong, then this problem and are no fun to clean up.

This is where toilet training a cat to scent your yard.As time passes they should still be prepared.These measures will help reduce the damage that a cat were having a cat that doesn't mean they don't bring with them as kittens, some cats to the items you prefer they scratch the furniture, you can use to excreting in the cat, it is grown up though, you want him to bite just me.This article will provide comfort to your water & vinegar solution, or when they start spraying.Sadly, the scratching tree and reward your pet from slipping.

Why Does My Cat Spray

Adult fleas spend only a quick squirt of it.Why would a cat is having your cat sometimes?Fleas can transmit tapeworms and cause them to use the litter in the morning and once in a new day.Cats - we need to carry out its natural behaviour.See the Cat Keychain is perfect for cats is ideal if you buy catnip make sure that you can also wrap specific areas with two treatment options.

Next, use either a cat sprays little amounts of pee to declare its attendance.The crystals are insoluble, and they will be able to cough up the fur will accumulate into a cat yowls, guess what?If the animal enters the area immediately after the bathing department.It often happens that the Cats of Parliamentary Hill are as prone to water issues because they may find their own space, their own lavatory.It is recommended that you should cover them with scratching pads or posts.

[hazelandglasz]

Memes and Hot Chocolate Therapy - A Sam Wilson Birthday Bang Fic

Memes and Hot Cocoa Therapy

Fic by @hazelandglasz

Art by @daisyridlay

Pairings : Sam Wilson / Steve Rogers / James “Bucky” Barnes, Sam Wilson & Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Sam Wilson loves his blog, his corner of life hacks, recipes, and DIY. He also loves to follow blogs about puppies, recipes, and memes. When he finds a blog that manages to dig up ancient relics, he can't help but be curious and sends an ask to the blogger--more accurately, bloggers. Aka this is the fic where Sam, Steve, and Bucky are ridiculous bloggers who fall in love without even meeting because of how ridiculous and sarcastic they can be. When they meet, sparks fly.

Written for @samwilsonbirthdaybang !!

Sam closes his eyes and rests his head against his apartment door. Working at the VA is rewarding, and much needed for Sam’s own balance, don’t get him wrong. That being said, some days are tougher than others, and today calls for some serious blogging to make him feel better.

He’s tired, exhausted even, but the low purr of the old laptop coming back to life is already like a siren song, a balm on his frayed nerves. While Sam’s computer slowly lights up, he goes to his kitchen to fix himself a serious “pick-me up”, Wilson style.

On his kitchen windowsill, a couple of pigeons coo at him and Sam brings them a handful of chopped up edamame beans--he always keeps a bowl of them for his friends with feathers. He smiles at the birds before pulling out a pan from a drawer. Next, Sam gets all the ingredients he needs: milk, cocoa powder--the good stuff, not the one he puts on top of his tiramisu--, cinnamon, grated coconut, vanilla (beans, no extract--seriously taxing days call for serious hot cocoa), and the honey.

Sam is about to pour the milk into the pan when he stops and thinks. What better post to make on “Sam’s Guide to DIY” than his mama’s cocoa? He takes his phone out of his pocket and gets to work.

One of the best things about his apartment is clearly the kitchen space: great appliances, lots of tabletop space, but more importantly, wonderful natural lighting.

It allows him, even at dusk, to take pictures of the pan and the different ingredients in a way that will barely require any adjustment. Twelve minutes later, his cocoa is ready, the pictures are ready to be posted, and now , Sam can finally indulge.

His blog is his pride and joy, a melting pot of life hacks and feel-good selfies, Sam’s harbour from the storm that life can be when years of war are breathing down one’s neck, carefully crafted and fed with tasteful posts. But the rest of Tumblr? That’s his chance to put said life away, if only for a couple of hours.

Sam follows many different blogs, and he has no shame about it. Puppy owners’ accounts, recipe and body positivity blogs--they all constitute Sam’s dashboard.

And there’s another kind.

The Meme Blogs.

Sam has spent many sleepless nights finding an improbable escape within the ridiculous yet hilarious waves of memes.

In his opinion, none of them are beneath him; sure, sometimes Sam comes to the conclusion that he is, in fact, too old for this shit because what exactly is funny about goats and minerals? He certainly doesn’t know, but you know what, you do you.  

It’s always entertaining, that’s for sure.

And in the sea of blogs dedicated to memes, one in particular never fails to capture Sam’s attention, if only because its author seems just as puzzled as he is by the velocity of the meme life cycle.

“Memetymology”.

It’s a blog dedicated to finding the origins and multiple evolutions of a meme, through charts and surprisingly sarcastic commentaries.

Sam has so much love in his heart for whomever runs it, it’s bordering on a crush at this point.

The Memetymologist is funny, witty, and Sam cannot help but be intrigued by one of the blog’s specific goals.

He can’t help but wonder why, but more importantly how , the blog always seems to find the oldest of memes, their source, and how they came to rise from the Internet’s underbelly.

He’s talking relics, here-- prehistoric memes that are at the very source of meme culture.

Truth be told, Sam is fascinated by the Memetymologist’s focus in this matter.

So far, he has kept his admiration (and growing crush) to himself, simply reblogging what he considers to be the best analysis for his followers.

But this time, he cannot contain himself. Sam has to send the blogger a message to express his admiration.

Finding a parallel--documented and argumented--between the Mother of all Memes, Kilroy was here , and Shia Labeouf’s inspirational speech meme was a stroke of genius that Sam has to salute.

“That analysis was amazing, but how on Earth do you find these relics is even more remarkable”, he types. “Thank you for bringing back Kilroy too--as a vet, it was a sign that we were not as alone as we felt.”

He hits send, hoping nothing.

This blog easily has thousands of followers; they must get hundreds of asks every day.

His message is merely a congratulatory one--it doesn’t call for a reply of any kind.

That being said, without even bringing up memes, talking about the sense of belonging most soldiers find in seeing the little graffiti, even today, would be a good subject for his next meeting at the VC.

Thank you, Memetymologist, Sam thinks as he opens a Word document to start preparing his speech.

---

A message awaits him the next morning.

“From two vets to another, our pleasure. Care to share that cocoa?”

---

There is a bounce in Sam’s steps throughout the whole day, even as he enters the Center and does his “rounds” with the recovering soldiers. Whether it’s physical or mental, war leaves its scars on every person it touches.

“We have newbies,” Natasha whispers to him as he gets ready for his reunion.

Natasha’s past in the army is a bit blurry, to say the least, but her dry sense of humor is often the buoy Sam needs to keep on going.

That, and she is a remarkable sparring/cuddling partner.

“Newbies?”

“Back row, near the exit.”

“Hm--the brunet and the blond?”

“Spot on. Though I would have called them Summer and Winter Treats.”

“Nat …”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

Sam wishes he could tell her that she is wrong, but words fail him as he looks at the two newcomers.

Both are tall and buff--though the blond one is definitely taller-- with that look in their eyes that speaks of horrors Sam knows only too well.

A look that says that they will never be the same, but they won’t let their past take them down, darn it.

A vulnerable strength, so to speak, and if Sam is already turning into a poet over them from a distance, he’s capital S Screwed.

Blond and Tall looks towards the podium with a slightly questioning look before turning to his companion, reaching for him. Dark and Buff has his eyes downcast, hunched forward in his seat. Even from his vantage point, Sam can see that his left hand is a prosthetic, and he winces in sympathy.

Not all wounds are visible, and every person in the room has had to rebuild their lives around something they lost on the battlefield, find a way to feel complete--it’s part of their common experience, something they can help each other with.

Showtime.

Sam moves forward, rolling his sleeves as he goes--his own little ritual to get in “mentor” mode. “Good afternoon,” he says, sending his voice across the room as he usually does. “Welcome back for our regulars, I hope the show won’t disappoint, and welcome to the newbies. Promise there won’t be any hazing … from me.”

Some vets relax at his words, even Gabe who’s always so tense. Sam winks at Misty, who just happens to be sitting in front of BT and DB, and she shakes her head at him with a fond smile on her face.

BT raises one eyebrow at Sam before discreetly elbowing his companion who looks up in interest.

Two pairs of very different shades of blue are directed at him, and Sam barely manages to keep himself from humming some Johnny Cash.

Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes I see them everywhere I miss those arms that held me When all the love was there

Yes please .

“Ahem.”

Trust Natasha to keep Sam from getting lost in his own little fantasy.

Spoilsport.

“Today’s show will be about this little guy we’ve all probably seen somewhere,” he continues, launching his projector with the Kilroy graffiti. “I remember seeing it drawn in chalk on a wall when I was in Afghanistan,” he adds, reaching into his own experience to free the speech of those around him. “Though the situation was not ideal,” he says with a pointed look that sends a wave of nods in his audience, “seeing it made me realize that this … nightmare, was not our first time fighting, and that I too could survive this. I, too, could say that I was here and helped my fellow soldiers keep their hopes up.”

Someone--Sam is fairly sure that it’s Old Nick in the back--starts whistling the country’s anthem, and people laugh. Sure, it’s shaky and awkward, but it’s a laugh nonetheless.

“Yeah, yeah,” he replies benevolently, “I thought you guys were used to my rousing speeches by now.”

This time around, the laughter is a little more opened, a little less embarrassed, and even Natasha smiles.

“Now, this is my experience,” he continues, more serious, “and I would never dream of thinking that I know how you feel, but this sense of belonging, of having a purpose, is what helped me get through the worst of it. Who wants to share what, in their experience, helped them?”

The silence is so thick you could cut it with a knife and serve it with a plate of ribs.

Hmmm, I might get a early dinner at the diner. Focus, Wilson!

“Drawing.”

The voice is soft, and a lot of heads turn towards it.

Uh. Tall and Blonde. Look at you go.

No, seriously, Sam would love to watch him go, as sad as it would be to see him leave.

“Hello,” Sam says, focusing all of his attention on the man.

“H-hi,” he stammers back, his fair complexion betraying the sudden pink on his cheek. “I’m Steve--Steve Rogers.”

“Welcome, Steve,” all the group sing-songs in unison, snickering and even laughing outright.

Sam is so proud of those jackasses.

“Thank you,” Steve says, a crooked grin making an appearance on his face. “As I was saying, drawing helped me connect with my--our-- squad,” he says, pointing his thumb at Dark and Buff.

Though Winter Treat suits him better, damn Natasha for putting ideas in his overactive head.

The man glances at Steve before returning his attention to-- oh .

He’s keeping his eyes on Sam--not in a confrontational manner.

If anything, it’s an appreciative look--damn right distracting too, Sam tells himself, focusing on Steve’s words.

“It was a moment of peace in the chaos,” Steve continues, “when I could find a moment and a spot to draw my squad.”

“It was a pocket of home for us too,” Winter Treat pipes up, his voice softer than his appearance lead Sam to think it would be. “When Steve drew us.”

Sam nods. “Because he was drawing you relaxed, or …?”

“Because it was a semblance of normalcy in places where normal didn’t exist,” the man says, looking up to stare at Sam. “A sign that no matter how lonely it felt, even in the middle of the group, something else was waiting and we were not as alone as we felt.”

To have his hastily composed message unknowingly sent back to him makes Sam uneasy for a moment.

“That’s a good thing to remember,” he says to cover his agitation. “No matter how nightmarish our experiences were, we were not, we are not alone in them. Who else wants to share?”

More people seem encouraged to speak up, and Sam lets the meeting run its course like he usually does, only interjecting every now and then to keep the flow going.

Through it all, he catches Steve and his broody friend looking at him intently. They even quietly speak in each other’s ear, all while glancing at him.

More than once, the meeting lulls into silence because Sam was too distracted to notice.

Very flattering, sure, but so very unprofessional of him!

---

The meeting comes to a close, and after sending everybody home with good wishes and homemade toffees, Sam almost starts jogging to get to the diner.

He’s not usually so ravenous when he comes out of a Vet day, but it was a good one, full of positive energy.

That, and he has a craving of a very different kind that has no chance of becoming a reality, so he’ll eat his feelings if nobody objects to his plans.

“Careful, on your left!”

Sam nearly jumps out of his skin but twists his body to let a crazy deliveryboy zoom by him on his left.

“You alright, Sarge?”

Sam huffs a laugh as he looks at the two men walking towards him. “Right as rain, Cap,” he replies as Steve and his friend who is still nameless get close.

“I hope the meeting didn’t scare you away,” Sam says, digging his hands in his pockets lest he does something he’ll regret.

As in, reaching out to see for himself if those pecs are real because damn son .

“Not at all,” Steve replies, a boyish grin on his lips now. “It was quite interesting.”

“Why Kilroy?”

“Buck, manners.”

‘Buck’ frowns at Steve before glancing at Sam. He twists his mouth in regrets. “I’m sorry, Sarge,” he says softly, “I need to … acclimate myself back to normal situations.”

“Nothing to apologize for, …?”

“James. Bucky,” he corrects himself. “Sergeant Bucky Barnes.”

“Nothing to apologize for, Sarge,” Sam says, waving his hand in the air as if to erase the whole past awkwardness. “Civilian life is quite a challenge.”

“Yeah.”

“So, why did you mention Kilroy?” Bucky asks again, and Sam would love to chat with those two fine ( fiii-iiine ) specimens, but his stomach grumbles and he can’t stay.

“Care to join me for dinner?”

Steve and Bucky exchange a look. The type of look that shows years of knowing each other (biblically? One can hope, those two together must look insanely hot. Like, Sahara hot).

“Sure. Lead the way.”

--

Sam’s dinner doesn’t look much, but he knows for a fact that their ribs are the best in the Tristate area.

“Really?”

Steve sounds doubtful, but he’ll eat his words when the plate arrives, and Sam has no qualms about telling him so.

If he knew that it would make Bucky laugh, he would have joked sooner, ‘cause it’s a sight to behold.

“Sorry if I have my doubts,” Steve says, sitting very prim and proper--which only makes Bucky, and in an echo, Sam, cackle even harder-- “but where I come from, the ribs are already top notch.”

“Unless you’re from the deep South like the boss here, wherever you come from doesn’t hold a candle,” Sam replies, leaning back into the leather seat and smirking at the man.

Yes, he is aware that the move pulls at the fabric of his t-shirt over his chest and arms, why do you ask.

Gotta strut the strut and flaunt his stuff.

Bucky’s eyes travel along his arm, so that’s definitely one win.

“Just from Brooklyn,” Steve replies and Bucky cocks his head and smirks like this answers everything.

“Yeah, okay, Amanda’s ribs will get you on your knees and thanking the Lord.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

The words are softly spoken, but Sam almost chokes on air.

Did …

He …

He did, didn’t he?

When he looks back at them, there is a very alluring twinkle in both men’s eyes.

“Here you are, boys,” the waitress says, startling all of them out of their staring contest. “If you need anything, let me know, alright Sammy?”

“Thank you, ‘Manda,” Sam says, sending her a dazzling smile. She pats his cheek and returns to the kitchen with a spring in her steps.

“Regular here?”

Sam unfolds his napkin. “I practically grew up on Amanda’s cooking,” he replies, taking the time to savor the smell of the smoked meat, the barbecue spices and sauce, and the garlic fries, all blending together into “home”. “Her son and I were partners back in Afghanistan. When Riley was shot, I went home and she put me back together.”

“Through Love?”

“Through food.”

“Ah.”

“Sorry for your partner.”

“Dig in, it’s better warm.” And I need to not think downward-spiraling thoughts .

The look on both Steve’s and Bucky’s faces after their first bite is one Sam needs to cherish: surprise, delight, and hunger, all wrapped into one.

“I bow to this diner’s superiority,” Steve says with his mouth full, which Sam finds way too endearing for it to be natural. “This is … like … like …”

“Like a hug in your mouth,” Sam says, picking up a fry and savoring the taste of garlic and victory.

“Exacty.”

“Sooo,” Bucky says, lazily picking up a fry and lodging it between his lips like some sort of cowboy, “about Kilroy?”

Sam smiles, thinking about his favorite blog. “It came up on a blog that I follow online,” he explains, “and I thought about what it meant to me, and from that point on, built my speech. Why?”

Steve and Bucky exchange a loaded look. “A blog?” they ask in unison.

“Yeah, I’m on Tumblr,” Sam says, his cheeks heating up. “It’s my escape from … everything.”

“Not judging, we have a blog too.”

“What about?”

“I think you know.”

Sam raises one eyebrow. “How would I know?”

“The same way I know you make a mean hot cocoa.”

“And that your kitchen is a work of art.”

It takes Sam a moment to absorb the words, and then his eyes bulge out of his head.

New York and the world may be small, but that small? No, he did not see it coming.

“Memetymologist?”

“RedWingToTheRescue?”

Sam can feel a smile stretching his lips from ear to ear, and what’s even better, that smile is mirrored on the faces of both of the men across from him.

“Why memes?”

Steve leans forward, resting his arms on the table. “Same reason you cook, I think,” he says softly, his crooked smile making a comeback.

Is that a dimple? Oh my God.

“We follow you, too.”

Sam would have noticed the blog following him back, and his face must show it.

“Individually.”

“Ah.”

“It’s very comforting.”

“You don’t say.”

“That kitchen is really amazing.”

“Want to see it irl?”

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself, but the twinkle is back so he won’t berate himself too harshly.

“I wouldn’t dare refuse such an offer,” Steve says, pulling his wallet and standing up in one fluid motion.

Sam’s throat is so dry, all of a sudden.

“The things I’ve dreamed of doing in that kitchen will rock your world,” Bucky adds, a small smile making his eyes crinkle.

Sam gulps as he stands too, and would you look at that, ends up between the two men.

“By all means,” he manages to say, extracting himself from the Buff Sandwich (the Buffwich, if you will) to lead the way.

He believed that today would be a good day, but never did he imagine it would turn out to be quite that good.

---

His kitchen has never seen that kind of scene.

Never.

Sam is never going to be able to cook without having a Pavlovian boner.

Well, that’s tomorrow’s problem, isn’t it, because all of his attention is required right now to avoid dampening the mood with an injury.

“The moment you rolled your sleeves, I wanted to take that shirt off,” Bucky growls against the soft skin of Sam’s neck as he unbuttons the offensive garment, “and worship those arms.”

“Have you looked at yourself?” Sam tears himself from kissing Steve to reply, one hand groping Steve’s chest while the other gets tangled in Bucky’s silky hair.

“Hm-hm, still want to do all the things to your body.”

“Count me in on that plan, Buck,” Steve chuckles as he meets Bucky over Sam’s shoulder to kiss him.

Sam has an hand on both their head and he angles it a little bit to the left, pressed as he is between their bodies.

Oh, he’s definitely in for a treat, wherever this goes.

Ah, treats.

“Summer and Winter,” he murmurs as he alternates between Steve and Bucky’s neck to press kisses and kitten licks.

“Uh?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, that’s--that’s good,” Bucky says. “Sam, can you--ugh, can you move?”

“No.” If anything, Sam presses even more against him, encouraged by Steve who turns him more fully towards the other man.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve says, one hand on Sam’s hip and the other cupping Bucky’s cheek.

Bucky’s eyes are black, with just a ring of blue left in them. “A bit--a bit overwhelmed here.”

“Alright,” Sam says with a sigh, moving back against Steve. “Let’s all relax and use this kitchen for its intended purpose, hm?”

Bucky and Steve give him a perfect salute. “Sir, yes sir.”

Sam smirks, shoving both his guests towards the kitchen chairs. “Wanna try my hot cocoa?”

“I thought we were.”

“You did not just say that.”

Steve snickers into his palm. “I think he did, Sarge.”

“Tsk tsk. No whipped cream for you.”

“Aww,” Bucky says, sitting at the table with his legs wide opened. “I was really interested in getting the cream.”

“He does like cream.”

“Good to know. Only if you behave then.”

“Yes, sir,” Bucky repeats closing his legs but sprawling even further into the chair.

Debauched, that’s what he looks like, and Steve, even sitting as straight as he is, is not a lot better.

Definitely my treats .

[deadmomjokes]

A Quick-start guide to donating to Animal Shelters

I know a lot of people love to help out local shelters, and I also know it can be difficult to know exactly what/how to give. So as someone who works at a shelter, I thought I’d give you guys a few tips to help maximize the good you want to do!

1. Unless you want/need to do an anonymous or surprise donation, you can always call the shelter and ask what their most pressing needs are. These vary, so one week it might be kitty litter and the next it could be bleach. Asking is always appreciated, and maximizes the chances your donation will fill a desperate need.

2. Consider cash. We can often get food and supplies for cheaper than regular people, as many stores and suppliers will match or donate extra for each bag/box we buy (often at wholesale price). In addition, there are certain things you can’t donate that we often need money for--the biggest is vet costs. We often get reduced rates from local vets, but the vet still needs to cover the costs of exams and procedures, so they usually can’t give us all the vet care our animals need for free. And depending on how things go, we might be over-budget for our water or electric bill, which then takes away from necessary supplies. So money (check, cash, whichever) is always used and appreciated. I promise it goes right to making the animals’ lives better. If ever we have a surplus for the month, we use it to stock up on food, or to get an equipment upgrade, or get new beds for them, and so on. We’re not blowing your money on tacos.

3. Instead of or along with your dog food, try donating cat food/cat litter. We go through 40-60 lbs of kitty litter a day, on average. It can go up to 100 during peak cat season. And I think only once have we ever gotten a donation of kitty litter. Cat food is also rarely donated, as most people think first of the dogs. Which is fair, because they eat more. But we have shelves full of bags of dog food waiting to get munched, and we’re always scraping the barrel for cat food. I’m not saying to forgo donating dog food, as dogs do eat more than cats, but don’t forget the felines! (Also that litter bro. We go to the store almost twice a week to stock up on kitty litter, and it’s gone in days.)

4. Instead of clay litter, consider wood-pellet litter, like this kind. Clay kitty litter makes cleanup really hard in a high-density single-cat-kennel environment. We give them a scoop of litter, just enough for them to use each day, and it gets changed each day. Clay litter is great for multi-day use when you have a full litter box, but that’s just not feasible in our environment. So the wood pellets make for a cleaner, more cost-effective solution. They expand when in contact with liquid, and they expand A LOT. It also prevents the nasty cakey buildup on the kennel when the kitties track their litter everywhere. This stuff just poofs into sawdust.

5. Try donating wet food. Shelters are often full of old, young, and sick animals. In particular, at our shelter we have a billion kittens who are too young for dry food. And it’s not the same to just soak dry food in water. Wet food is formulated differently and is easier on the digestive system. Plus soaked dry food is way more prone to spoilage after sitting out even a day, or in some cases just half a day. It can get a nasty rancid taste, or cause bad gas or diarrhea in animals. It’s ok in a pinch but wet food is a lot better for them. Plus it makes giving pills easier, since you can bury it in the food and it soaks up the gravy flavors. (but try to find ones with pop-tops, or other lids that don’t require a can opener)

6. Consider donating cleaning supplies--dish soap, sponges, rags, bleach. Oh man, the bleach. It’s one of the only things that kills ringworm and parvo effectively, and we use it to soak our cleaned dishes (they’re all rinsed before giving back to animals), we use it to mop the floors, we use it to do the laundry... We go through 8-12 gallons a week at the minimum dilution.

7. If donating beds, blankets or toys, try to get them new. We will wash old ones with our bleach solution, but it’s hard on the fabric and means they won’t last as long. Also try to opt for things that are one solid thing rather than stuffed with cotton or foam pellets, as dogs in a new/stressful situation are prone to shredding things. Plus the fluffy stuff can spew out in the washer if they’re ripped and we don’t notice, and it clogs up the drain.

8. Please don’t donate: non-functional pet clothes (small dog sweaters are ok), your pet’s old prescription meds, half-empty bags of food or treats (contaminants are a huge concern), obviously broken toys/grooming tools, expired food or treats, human clothes, ‘service dog’ vests, or choke chains. Yes, those are all things I have personally seen with my own two eyes come in as donations. We recently got given a whole trash bag full of used socks--people socks. I don’t know why they thought we could use them.

But yeah, this is just a basic sort of guide. Each shelter’s needs are different, and some only accept certain types of donations, so if at all possible contact them first or do some research to figure out what they might be able to use. Some shelters list it on their website, so that’s a good place to start.

Thank you all for your care and willingness to help! We can’t help the animals without people like you, and we are infinitely grateful.

[mshellbrat]

                                              banner by: Arienhod

Hey guys! Sorry for the wait but life is super super busy and stressful right now. This is the second chapter of my second story in the “Anything” verse...my Olicity Arrow/BTVS xover verse. I hope you like it and I would love to know what you think! I’m also feeling completely scatterbrained so please excuse any typos...lol. 

Also, if you would like to be tagged when I post new work please let me know!

Chapter Summary:  The tour of the Slayer Headquarters continues and Felicity faces her first challenge from her slayer sisters.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!...except my original characters... :-)

Here goes!

The situation was somewhat awkward. It was a first meeting and she'd brought along two notorious American celebrities. Besides, she was Felicity and she was awkward on a good day. This was before you added in the bonus of her half-vampire cousin. Then Meredith actually arrived and was forced to endure their questioning and vetting process and then there was 'The Shirt'. Meredith was never going to stop whining.

“WHY must I wear this?” Meredith continued to grumble even though the rest of the group had taken to outright ignoring her now. She yanked at 'The Shirt' she was being forced to wear. It was a bright red t-shirt with the words 'DO NOT SLAY' written on both front and back in bold white print. Meredith was not amused. “I'm a geek, you know? I get the reference. I'm not wearing the red shirt!”

Oliver, damn him, smirked at her. “Actually you are.”

Felicity elbowed him in the side and threw her cousin a pleading look. “They don't know you, Mere. You are in a building stuffed full of slayers. Can you just try to be patient?”

Meredith glared back at her.

“New slayers are called on a regular basis,” Rona explained. “Willow's spell is still active. We're not sure the exact catalyst, but once potentials reach a certain point the spell activates their potential and they become slayers. We've had newbies as young as eleven in the past. Our current youngest is Aline. She's a twelve-year-old from Brazil.”

Felicity took this all in and nodded. She wondered again what made her so deficient that the spell waited until she was twenty-three. She felt Oliver's hand curl around her waist and realized he must have noticed something change in her expression. The man knew her too flipping well.

“The majority of them are quickly located via the Witches' Council and shipped here for basic training and instruction.” Her expression when she faced Meredith was serious. “But these are still very young girls who have supernatural abilities and instincts. Those instincts will tell them that you are the enemy. That shirt is to keep you from getting jumped by the baby slayers. The distinction between Possessed and Traditional, as well as between full-vampire and half-vampire, is still beyond most of these girls.”

Felicity frowned. “But I'm a baby slayer, right? I've only been called a couple of weeks. I wouldn't have attacked Meredith even if she wasn't my cousin.”

“You're also a mature rational grown woman,” Rona stared at her in disbelief. “You're not a pre-teen who just got turned into Supergirl and thinks she can blindly follows her instincts.”

“And your training has been unorthodox,” Riley added. “Your mentors are Pures. A dear friend turned out to be a witch. A half-vampire is your cousin. You've been exposed to things these girls have not.”

“They've been sheltered,” Rona agreed. “We don't even consider placement on one of our field slayer teams until a girl has reached sixteen-years-old. They're only exposed to the supernatural under very controlled settings.”

Meredith huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine, I'll wear the damn shirt until they get use to me.” She pointed her finger at Rona. “But I'm not going anywhere. Felicity is my responsibility. And,” her lips curled, “I'm not afraid of a bunch of rabid pre-teen girls. I'm meaner than them.”

Felicity shuddered and made a pained face. “I remember you as a pre-teen girl and you were probably meaner than them back then.” If the slayer remembered correctly, there'd been an incident with Meredith's friend group, some poor boy, and them doing a song and dance of “Bye Bye Bye” by NSYNC in the school hallway that led to her cousin almost getting expelled.

Meredith grinned. “Exactly.”

Choosing to ignore that, Rona pushed open the door to a massive and impressive training room. Felicity would have been gaping...except honestly the one under The Bronze was pretty impressive too. Her expectations were set somewhat high by this point. Still, it definitely beat their training equipment at the lair so that was something.

“Wow,” Thea muttered. Thea, who had not as yet seen the facilities under The Bronze.

Felicity nodded and smiled and tried to look really impressed. Oliver looked pissy. She could practically feel him thinking about upgrades he could make to the lair. She squeezed his hand where it was still wrapped around her waist to distract him and then noticed something. “OH! Salmon Ladder!” She hopped excitedly and pointed it out to Oliver. That made him crack a smile which was totally worth the embarrassment of everyone else looking at her like she was a little special.

“You do realize you are perfectly capable of doing the salmon ladder yourself now, right?” Oliver leaned close and spoke next to her ear.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “Not nearly as much as fun. I prefer the spectator role on that one.”

She could feel his breath on her skin when he spoke again. “Maybe I want to watch you do it.”

The slayer snorted. “You just want to watch me bust my ass.” She turned to look at him and noticed the heat in his stare. She gulped. “Or...you know...not?” And then he grinned...and Felicity bit her lip nervously because he was not supposed to look at her like that...or at least not in public! Bad Oliver!

“Could you two stop it?” Thea drawled and made a face. “I'd like to keep down my lunch.”

“Preach,” Meredith agreed.

Felicity pursed her lips and turned determinedly back toward the front. “There is nothing to stop.” She lifted her brows and looked to Rona. “Can we continue the wonderful tour?”

Rona was frowning at Oliver. She dragged her gaze back to Felicity. “The Bitchettes are gonna hate you. Hell, I've already got a hot boyfriend and I almost hate you.”

Felicity frowned confused. “Huh?”

“I refuse to hate you,” Macey told her happily. “Because I'm nice and you're CUTE!” She leaned closer to Felicity and lowered her voice. “I'm totally gonna drool over the man candy though.”

Felicity just nodded and went with it. “Sure.”

Rona sighed and rolled her eyes. She waved around the room. “You obviously seem to have some idea of training equipment and layout. Not surprising when you've been training with Pures.”

“I wish I got to train with Pures,” Macey grumbled.

“Hand-to-hand, close combat weapons training,” Rona pointed out the different areas, “strength and endurance.” She paused and looked at Felicity to make sure the new slayer was keeping up.

Felicity forced a big smile and gave her a thumbs up. “It's not a big tire you can beat with a sledgehammer, but I guess it'll do.”

Thea snickered and Oliver poked her in the side.

Macey frowned. “Dare does that?” Then she tilted her head to the side and her eyes lit up with interest. “Does he do it shirtless?”

Felicity and Thea both snickered at Oliver's expense.

Rona glared at her blonde companion. “Macey, could you try looking less like a boy-crazed ditz? Focus!” Once the blonde huffed offended, Rona looked back to Felicity. “I've called some of the slayer captains in to meet you. Maria should be rounding them up now. Once we get the introductions out of the way, they can break it down to their teams so they know who not to slay,” she notched her chin toward Meredith, “and who not to climb like a tree,” she looked pointedly at Oliver.

“Slayer captains?” Felicity wondered.

“We split the girls into teams,” Rona explained. “Senior slayers are chosen to head up the teams and supervise and mentor their team members. We can't all just look to Buffy. We needed a functioning hierarchy and chain of command.”

“Will I be assigned to a team?” Felicity asked. She really didn't know if she wanted to be assigned to a team. Would she be getting ordered around by a teenager?

Rona grinned. “No, Felicity, you're here as a courtesy. You have a life back in Starling and we're not messing with that.”

“You might end up leading a team,” Macey pointed out. Felicity looked at her wide-eyed and Macey smiled like that was good news. “You're protecting an active hellmouth. When things start getting all hinky you're gonna need help. Buffy will probably assign you slayers.”

THAT did not sound good. THAT was not good news! Felicity gulped. “But...”

“There are two slayer teams in Edencrest,” Meredith added with a look at her cousin, “one run by Elise Stephens and the other run by some chick named Kennedy. But it is the biggest current active hellmouth. They need two teams. We don't.”

Rona looked Meredith over surprised. “You know slayers?”

Felicity waved that off because she didn't CARE about catching Rona up on Meredith's backstory. “I don't need slayers!” she insisted. “I have Dare and Cross and Meredith and Oliver and Thea and Roy and Case and Digg!”

Rona shrugged. “We'll see.” And that didn't sound nearly definitive enough for Felicity. The last thing she needed was super-powered teenage girls to start showing up on her doorstep and looking to HER to lead them!

“I've been a slayer less than two weeks!” She stomped her foot in a fit of pique.

Oliver pulled her back against his chest and rested his chin on her shoulder. He hugged her to him. “Felicity, breathe. We'll handle it.”

Felicity ground her teeth. “Fine! But if they start showing up, YOU get to lead the slayers. I'll swap you for Roy.”

Thea laughed out loud. “Can I tell him that? I'm pretty sure he'll be down.” She pulled out her phone and started to text her boyfriend. “He's still terrified you're gonna stick him with Team Lance. He'd rather face certain death every night than take orders from Laurel.”

Felicity's eyes narrowed. “Laurel does not get to give orders.”

Thea snorted. “Someone might want to remind her of that. She texted Roy what time he needed to be at the lair for a team meeting tonight. He threatened to go back to jacking cars to get enough money to buy himself a plane ticket to London. He says he's officially Team Supernatural.”

“He is,” Felicity said. “Roy goes where you go.”

Thea smiled at her affectionately. “There's a reason I like you.”

“Aww...” Macey leaned up against Rona and spoke softly, “they have their own little team. They have a Scooby Gang.”

Rona shook her head. “I don't even want to know.” She cleared her throat to regain everyone's attention. “If you'll follow me, we can wait for the slayer captains in the conference room.” She turned to lead them forward toward another exit.

The slayer captains were...an interesting lot. Some were sugary sweet and eyed them like they were lollipops (males and females), a few were openly hostile and obviously believed everything they'd ever read about Oliver and Thea, a couple were pleasant and interested, and the rest were outright bored and irritated at the waste of their precious time.

Felicity was exhausted just from meeting them all...and these were just the captains! She looked at Oliver feeling overwhelmed. She winced as she caught his expression. Oliver's unaffected and charming playboy mask was wearing thin. His eyes and mouth were tight. If they were back in Starling, Felicity would be worrying about the furniture and the training dummies.

“I think we broke him.”

Felicity looked across the table and into the eyes of one of the most hostile of the group. Lex, if she remembered correctly, was a seventeen-year-old slayer with short cropped sandy brown hair and thick-lashed brown doe eyes. Her features were, in fact, so delicate and feminine that even her boyish haircut couldn't distract from them. Unfortunately she was also as mean as a snake and she'd spent the last ten minutes sharpening her tongue on Oliver.

“Back off, Cujo,” Meredith finally growled at the teen from Felicity's other side. She leaned across the table toward the younger girl. “Ollie's trying to play nice and he's too much of a gentleman to call you out as the bitch that you are. I suffer no such conscience.”

The slayer blinked at her and shrugged. “I was only checking my facts.”

Meredith rolled her eyes. “You were throwing every dumbass stunt he's ever pulled up in his face. You don't know him from Jack. Keep your venom to yourself.” Then she realized what she'd said and made a pained face. “And now you've made me defend OLLIE!” She pointed her finger at the girl. “You are on my shit list!”

Thea glared at the girl from Oliver's side. “You do get that tabloids lie, right? Even if you did have the right to judge my brother, which you don't, half that shit isn't even true.”

Lex leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest unimpressed. “Maybe you're right. Maybe he isn't the waste of space the tabloids make him out to be.” Her eyes hardened. “But that sure as hell doesn't mean he belongs here.” She leaned back forward and seethed at them. “You think this is some game? That we're some tourist attraction you can come gawk at? Let's meet the super-teens and watch them do tricks? This shit is life or fucking death!” She slapped her hand down on the table. “This is the actual battle between good and evil. We are warriors for the forces of light and we are fighting to save the damn world! What the HELL business does some playboy celebrity have here?”

Felicity didn't know where it came from but she was on her feet and leaning across the table toward the younger girl before she could blink. There was a snarl on her lips. She slammed her own hands down and heard the table groan at the hit. “Oliver is here with ME! I don't know who lied and said YOU got a vote on who was and was not allowed in this facility, but I am here by personal invitation of your Slayer General and I could give a FUCK less how you feel about it.” She eyed the girl up and down and something in her roared and snarled to attack. “You think your life is hard? You think you know anything about Oliver and what he's lived through? You think you deserve any more respect than he does? Well, you need to get your facts straight, little girl, and grow the hell up!” She sniffed and looked down at her. “You DON'T impress me.”

The girl shrugged and sat back again but something in her expression looked...satisfied. The blanket of rage receded from before Felicity's eyes and her body tingled with awareness. Her eyes scanned the table and she realized she now had the attention of the entire room. She swallowed nervously...then narrowed her eyes back on Lex. Felicity wondered just how much of that had been genuine and how much was a test. Her face flushed with embarrassment. Great, now she was competing in a pissing contest with teenagers. Her life had reached a new low.

“Right then,” Rona spoke up and Felicity took the excuse to turn her attention to the senior slayer. The other woman was frowning down at the cell phone in her hand. “Our fearless leader says you should all head to training and pass the information on to your teams.” She looked pointedly at several of the captains. “Keep your girls in line. Visitors are to be treated with respect and any complaints can be brought to her.”

The captains all started to stand from their chairs and head for the door. One hung back and smiled toward Oliver. She had long bright blonde hair, cornflower blue eyes, and perfectly applied makeup. She spoke to Rona. “I could give the visitors a tour.”

Rona's expression was wry. “You planning to hit on Finn or the vampire, Laney? Cause everyone else in this group's already taken.” The girl made a face and Rona lifted her brows. “Get to training. No one's interested.”

After watching the blonde huff and leave, Felicity made her way around the table to stand by Rona. She cleared her throat. “I...uh...I should apologize for making a scene.”

Rona snorted and waved her off. “You're a slayer, Felicity. We only come in aggressive. If you don't demand respect around here, you usually won't get it.”

Felicity winced and nodded. “Right. I'm getting that.” She looked back briefly at Oliver. He was still tense, still obviously angry and uncomfortable, and she wanted to do something to alleviate that. She lowered her voice and spoke to Rona. “Is there any way you could show us the shooting range next? Oliver might need to blow off some steam.”

Rona's expression was sympathetic. “I'm sorry about Lex. She can be a hardass but she's a hell of a slayer.”

“I just wish she'd picked on me,” Felicity said. “Oliver already spends enough time beating himself up about his past. He doesn't need help.”

Rona looked like she would have said more, but Oliver stepped up to join them and she painted a smile across her face. “So...how about we check out our shooting range?” She led them to the door. “We've got some cool features that I think you'll enjoy.”

The shooting range was impressive. Of course, Felicity hadn't done much training with ranged weapons as of yet, but she was sure Dare would get around to them eventually if Oliver didn't beat him to it. Felicity could also feel the magic pulsing through the air. She listened vaguely as Rona explained some of the enchantments that their witch allies had placed on the room. No harm enchantments, self-returning arrows and ammunition, smart targets...it was a lot to take in. Still, that wasn't why she'd asked to see it.

She turned to look at Oliver with a grin. “You ready to try it out?” But she fell silent as she found his attention focused elsewhere, a frown on his face. “Oliver?”

He started and threw a small smile her way. Leaning over, he pressed a kiss her temple. “I'll be right back.” He walked forward down the range.

Felicity frowned after him. Even Rona stopped talking to watch him go. The senior slayer moved closer to Felicity and cocked her head to the side. “He okay?”

“Uh...” Felicity was about to shrug when she realized where he was headed. Oliver walked up behind a young girl, a young slayer, who was practicing her archery. The girl couldn't have been more than fourteen with long straight brown hair and awkward lanky limbs. Though she hit the target with every arrow, even Felicity could see that the girl's form was awful. Oliver shook his head as he watched her. Felicity grinned and nodded. “He's gonna be fine.”

“Layla's stubborn,” Rona said as she watched the girl loose another arrow. “She's determined to learn archery, but she missed the sign-up for the latest class. We told her we'd get her worked in as soon as we could, but she's got no patience.”

Felicity watched Oliver fondly as he started to step forward to draw the girl's attention. “She's fixing to get a lesson.” She started walking toward her boyfriend and the preteen.

Rona snorted as she followed her. “This should be interesting.”

Focusing in, Felicity heard Oliver clear his throat. “Move your feet closer together,” he told the girl, “your throwing your balance off.”

Layla lowered her bow for a moment and turned to glare at the stranger. Her face was painted with all the angst that only a preteen girl could carry off. She planted her free hand on her hip. “I hit the target.”

Oliver cocked a brow at her. “Doesn't mean you aren't doing it wrong.”

The girl seemed to consider that for a moment. She narrowed her eyes on the vigilante. “Are you a watcher? I don't recognize you.”

Oliver shook his head. “No, I'm here with my partner. She's a slayer.” He nodded toward Felicity.

The girl looked back briefly at their approaching group. When she settled on Rona her lips drew into a mutinous line. She tossed her hair and turned back to Oliver. “Well then why should I listen to you?” Layla asked.

Oliver huffed a laugh. “Because I may not be a watcher, but I am an archer. And you're never going to hit a moving target unless you correct your form.”

Layla seemed to consider that. Then staring up at Oliver in challenge, she held out her bow. “Prove it.”

Oliver's grin only grew as he took the bow and measured its weight in his hands. He pulled an arrow from the girl's quiver and drew it back to test the bow string. “This is a little small for me, but okay.”

“I swear to god,” Thea whispered to Felicity as she stepped up beside the slayer, “if he says she reminds him of me, I will figure out a way to set his ass on fire.”

Felicity chuckled because she knew the little girl did. Oliver couldn't help comparing little girls to his baby sister. He adored Thea. The younger Queen should just get over it.

Layla put both hands on her hips now and watched Oliver doubtfully. Her mouth fell open in awe as Oliver nailed dead center of the target before turning back to face her and holding back out the bow. “Your turn?”

The girl took the bow and eagerly spun back to face the target. This time when Oliver directed her to move her feet she quickly complied and looked for further instruction. He moved around behind her and helped guide her into the correct stance.

“I need to brush up on my archery skills,” Macey sighed.

Rona snorted and leaned toward Felicity. “You better hope all the other slayers don't hear your boy has actual skills. There'll be a line all the way out the door waiting for his personal instruction.”

Felicity grinned back at the other slayer. “You ain't see nothing yet. That was him being humble.”

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

[pan0ramy]

100 questions NO ONE ever asks!

thank you for @no-changes-are-permanent for tagging me in this! (even though i’m sleepy and missed the fact that you did, haha)

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? oh god, they HAVE to be closed. my childhood fear of monsters hasn’t really left. D:

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? it depends - if i’m in a hotel in ireland, i won’t normally bother. if it’s somewhere like disneyland, then fuck yeah! little souvenir i guess. :D it’s not stealing, shut up and leave me alone

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? they have to be in. otherwise, since i wear a lot of pyjama shorts, i wake up with bare legs and then i’m cold. D:

4. Have you stolen a street sign before? don’t think i’ve ever had the chance! (probably still wouldn’t if i did, though)

5. Do you like to use post-it notes? my school stuff is COVERED in them :D

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? i don’t really use many coupons, but my mom definitely does this, haha

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? probably the bear. the buzzing would scare me more than the actually bees attacking me. plus you’d die a faster death...

8. Do you have freckles? no. i’m not THAT irish. XD

9. Do you always smile for pictures? i try, even though i think it’s hard to genuinely smile for a photo if you’re not already laughing/happy with the situation you’re in - which for someone with anxiety, getting a picture taken is usually never a happy situation.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve? i’ll say it before and i’ll say it again - if you crack your knuckles around me, you will die a slow and painful death. that is all.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? if i’m really bored, then yeah! but normally i’m listening to music when i’m walking somewhere - i meant it before when i said you’d never see me without a pair of headphones!

12. Have you peed in the woods? not as far as i can remember, actually...

13. Have you ever pooped in the woods? well if i’d never peed in the woods, i’d never have pooped there either would i? XD

14. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? i am basically dancing 24/7 365, even if there’s no music, haha

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? normally i’d do it if i’m in the middle of a test and i’m either really bored, thinking or trying to calm myself down from stress/nerves. other than that, it’s a rare thing for me.

16. How many people have you slept with this week? does my septiceye sam plushie count? ^^

17. What size is your bed? i think it's just a regular ol double bed. comfy as fuck though.

18. What is your song of the week? right now i'm listening to a lot of different stuff, but if i had to pick one song, i'd pick miracles by kris leone - there's an english version AND a korean version. seriously this song and this girl need more aTTENTION BECAUSE SHE'S SO GOOD AND HER VOICE IS SO BEAUTIFUL

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? of course! to me, there's no such thing as masculine or feminine colours. i think everyone's free to wear whatever they want so long as they're comfortable with it and it makes them feel confident and happy. :D

20. Do you still watch cartoons? well what do you think rick and morty is huh

21. What is your least favourite movie? if i had to pick one, it'd be the live action attack on titan. please. if you like attack on titan, and you've never seen this film - STAY AWAY. STAY THE FUCK AWAY.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? i have a little cubbyhole in my room that's a mess, so no-one else checks it other than me. so i know it's not technically digging it, but i'd put it there. :D

23. What do you drink with dinner? if it's spicy, then milk. otherwise, just juice or water. ^^

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? well i would say szechuan if mCDONALDS STILL DID THAT SHIT

25. What is your favourite food? i'm a sucker for indian food in general

26. What movies could you watch over and over again and still love? i will never, EVER get sick of tangled. i'm not a big movie buff, but that movie has my eternal love. <3

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? ........guess who hasn't had their first kiss yet >_<

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? for like two years when i was 6, yeah! we made marshmallow smores outside our building. it was awesome. plus we had amazing halloween parties! (although one year we were playing a game with ginger - i can't remember what it was, so don't ask - and one kid ended up having a really bad allergic reaction D:)

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? if it was for charity/a cause i believe in, then yeah, why not? otherwise, probably not.

30.  When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? .....umm i honestly can't remember... does writing a message as part of a birthday card count? if so, then i did that about a month ago ^^

31. Can you change the oil on a car? with google and youtube tutorials, i'd be just fine. XD

32. Ever ran out of gas? i'm too scared of that happening in my parents' cars to let that happen, haha

33. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? i'm not driving yet, so no!

34. What's your favourite kind of sandwich? good ol ham and cheese. i'm boring. :D

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? pancakes *_*

36. What is your usual bedtime? during school, no later than 11:30. during summer... i don't really have a bedtime. i just go to bed when i feel tired. ^^

37. Are you lazy? i'm trying not to be as of late, but with summer vacation starting it's kinda hard not to be a little bit lazy, haha

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? i normally dressed up pretty generically, but in my first year of high school i dressed up as effie trinket and won my school's costume competition. i was happy. :D

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? alright, i had to google this, but i'm a dragon! :D

40. How many languages can you speak? english, irish, spanish and i'm learning korean! and then i know small little phrases in other languages (like german and french). i love languages. :D

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? nah. magazines are boring.

42. Which are better: Legos or Lincoln Logs? what the fuck are lincoln logs

43. Are you stubborn? i've had a few people tell me i'm quite patient, so i guess that's the opposite? ^^ (i probably get it from my mom, haha)

44. Who is better: Leno or Letterman? from what i've seen of their shows, i like letterman more. too bad he's not doing his show anymore :(

45. Ever watch soap operas? what, like home and away? fuck no.

46.  Are you afraid of heights? if i'm super, SUPER high up then maybe a little, but i'm not normally that bad :) (can’t say the same for poor jackaboi though...)

47. Do you sing in the car? depends on who i'm with! i don't listen to a lot of music on the radio, though, so i'm normally pretty quiet anyways.

48. Do you sing in the shower? ...you're not human if you don't sing in the shower

49. Do you dance in the car? nah, i wouldn't really dance in the car as much as i do sing

50. Ever used a gun? no, but i'm thinking about going to the local airsoft for my birthday next year. why not? ;D

51. Last time you got your portrait taken by a photographer? my actual portrait or just a picture in general? if it's a portrait, then probably like 2009. if it's just a picture taken by a photographer, then that happened last thursday XD

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? BITCH YOU'RE TALKING TO A MUSICAL THEATRE NERD

53. Is Christmas stressful? only if you let it be. ;)

54. Ever eat a pierogi? nooo but i've heard of them and really want to try one D: (gdit mae what have you done to me)

55. Favourite type of fruit pie? it's not as common as the other ones, but it'd probably be apricot pie. i like the taste of apricots, okay?

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? i probably wanted to be a singer at one point, then i wanted to be a vet, then a video game designer, and now i've just settled on computing/programming :)

57. Do you believe in ghosts? yeah, sometimes. not always, though. it depends in the situation. (i know that sounds vague, but trust me. if you search through youtube for this kinda stuff you'll learn what i mean pretty quickly.)

58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? definitely! does anyone else get that thing where you dream about something and then it comes true a period of time later? or am i just psychic? ;D

59. Do you take a vitamin daily? i was about to say no to this, but i actually drink a little probiotic every day, so i'll put that here! it's to stop my immune system from completely failing me, because the medication i'm on is an immunosuppressant. ^^

60. Do you wear slippers? nah. socks all the way. :D

61. Do you wear a bath robe? i don't really have time for fancy shit like that tbh. if there's someone around i'll just cover up with a towel. serves the same function.

62. What do you wear to bed? ummmm.... pyjamas? ^^"

63. What was your first concert? my first proper concert was an imagine dragons concert two years ago. but my mom did drag me to a lot of her favourite bands' concerts when i was younger...

64. Walmart, Target or KMart? we don't have any of those. fuck it. dealz! which is basically where you buy everything (well, most things) for €1.50. or any stationery/art/video game shop in existence. :D

65. Nike or Adidas? eh. if i had to choose, then nike.

66. Cheetos or Fritos? cheetos. NOT the puffy kind though. we have wotsits to cover that and they taste way better. :D

67. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? i love sunflower seeds, but i'd probably pick peanuts.

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? nope, i haven't!

69. Ever take dance lessons? yes, for about two years or so! then i gave up because of school. >_<

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? nah, i'm not really worried about that! so long as they're a nice person, looks and profession are just a bonus.

71. Can you curl your tongue? no. because i'm an inferior human being. :(

72. Ever won a spelling bee? i've never been in one, WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE. i don't mean to brag, but i'd be pretty confident going into a spelling bee tbh ^^

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? oh, definitely. it's not a common occurence, but the last time i cried happy tears was when xenoblade chronicles 2 and fire emblem warriors got announced back in january. that was basically my dream come true. :D

74. Own any record albums? no, since i wouldn't have anything to play them on! they're a very cool idea though. :)

75. Own a record player? welp i guess i just answered that one

76. Do you regularly burn incense? my mom does occasionally, but i don't.

77. Ever been in love? nope. not yet. unless we're talking about fictional characters or people that don't know i exist. then i'd be here all day. XD

78. Who would you like to see in concert? IF BRENDON URIE COULD EVER COME TO IRELAND THAT'D BE FUCKING GREAT KTHXBYE

79.  What was the last concert you saw? imagine dragons :D

80. Hot tea or cold tea? hmmmmm i'd have to say both! i love hot tea but lemon iced tea is THE shit.

81. Tea or coffee? coffee is too bitter for me no matter how much sugar i add to it. :/

82. Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles? i've never tried snickerdoodles (and didn't even know sugar cookies were a thing) but when are cookies ever a bad choice in life? ;D

83. Can you swim well? yeah, i can! i need googles and a noseplug, though, since i'm a weeb. 

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? ...yes? i thought this was normal is there something special about this i'm missing

85. Are you patient? i try to be. if you test my patience, though, god can't help you in hell. :)

86. DJ or a band at a wedding? ehh all the wedding djs i've seen were pretty cringey, so as long as the band is good, then i'd pick the band!

87. Ever won a contest? yeah! i remember winning an art competition in second year that i didn't even try that hard for, haha

88. Have you ever had plastic surgery? does having teeth removed count? then yeah.

89. Which are better: black or green olives? neither. olives are the spawn of satan.

90. Can you knit or crochet? i used to be able to knit when i was 10 (we did it in school for a while), but i've completely forgotten how. :/

91. Best room for a fireplace? probably the sitting/living room tbh

92. Do you want to get married? i honestly don't know. i guess i'll just see where life takes me!

93. If you're married, how long have you been married? i've been married to video games since i was five years old. XD

94. Who was your high school crush? eh. don't really have one. :)

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? no. it's a very bad idea to be childish about a situation you're not happy with. it normallly doesn't get you very far.

96. Do you have kids? my plushies? yes. i also have my beautiful fire emblem daughter if she counts (#soleilsquad2k17)

97. Do you want kids? again, haven't really decided yet. ^^

98. What is your favourite colour? red! :D

99. Do you miss anyone right now? @itisasign :( (you need to come over to my house i swear tf)

100. Who are you going to tag to do this next? imma tag @tbex2468 and @yourestillnotmytype-58! haven't tagged you guys in anything in a while (i think...?) ;D