#love this guy i hope he hasnt experiences horrors

[estrellium]

William wisp if I was president

[ssreeder]

okokokokok. i've read the newest chapter twice to process and now i have thoughts. also hi how are you?!!

so much important stuff happened in this last chapter it's kinda crazy. it's all coming together... like sokka told suki there's someone else (its okay suki!!! she'll understand soon. i feel like she's a pretty empathetic person but like yeah this is hurtful and confusing) any future suki and zuko interactions are gonna be so interesting? wild? idk what word to use or what to expect but i am excited.

also aang's oops moment and now the earth kingdom army know about iroh and there's guards? are guards good or bad or both? im unsure i trust none of these guys. and then of course sokka losing his cool at the general the chapter before hasnt really been addressed either? like what happens when sokka sees them again (or if he finds out jet's involvement...thoughts and prayers jet you'll be so fucked). also the earth kingdom did definitely torture zuko. i don't think team avatar and iroh will love that too much when it comes to light.

and best part for last: the reunion?!?!? oh my god?!? zuko may be on his death bed but will always be conscious enough to tell someone not to touch his man. love that. and then sokka just sitting and talking to him was great and everyone in that room was likely kinda confused and getting some hints about how close they really are- but it doesn't matter!!! they're together again!!! 🎉🥳 pop the champagne!

the parts with the blood were so gross tho oh my god. i could like feel it in my belly. (which is what body horror like imagery should do. you were v successful lmao) i was back and forth between my body cringing at the blood parts and then smiling and happiness because aw theyre cute. a wild reading experience for sure. 10/10

uhhhh cant wait for reunion 2.0 and sokka telling the truth and everything really! hope you have a good week and hope rude commenters fucking leave bc what the hell. ❤️

HI IM GOOD HOW ARE YOU?!?!

Yeah future Suki will probably be much more understand than in-the-moment-Suki. Especially whenever she learns out this mysterious other person is Zuko haha.

Ughhh yeah the whole EK thing involving Zuko & war crimes & who takes the blame and how they will proceed from here is a bit of a mess… some of that gets addressed next chapter but yeah, General How knows Iroh is in the city so that will be interesting how he deals with that news.

(Fingers crossed Jet doesn’t get exposed or Sokka might stab him in his sleep)

Haha Jee & Sokka are destined to just NOT get along it seems haha.

Yeah that bloodbending scene was a whiplash between body horror & AWWWW SOKKA LOVES HIM!! they need their reunion 2.0 though…. Some peace & quiet where Iroh & Jee aren’t silently JUDGING them haha

<3 thanks for the ask!! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Charmed 2x12 Review SPOILERS!!!!!!

Okay let's do this. Sorry I skipped one but times are hectic. For entertainment I give it an 8/10. Same format. Dislikes, likes and highlights

Dislikes

1. Macy Kneeling to Abby.

Let's just get this one out the way. I can see where they might have been going with this.

They maybe are trying to move away from the ambiguous route with abby (trying to make her sympathetic with her whole patriarchy thing and her dead mom) I mean she is progressively becoming more predatory with Harry so with that in mind, this was possibly one of the "abby is really a bad person not a feminist as she is only out for her own gain and not the empowerment of all women". And I can get that maybe they were also trying to show "look Macy is willing to do the most degrading thing possible just for the chance at rebuilding that power of three/charmed bond with her sisters for the protection of the magical community".

But listen.....

We all know Abigael isnt a star feminist. We already know (although we dont exactly know) that she has some sort of plan up her sleeve to be weary of.

There has been too much attempted ambiguity and the main characters letting her get away with terrible things that the message isnt coming across.

Plus Maybe yes showing Macy being willing to do something that really probably hurt all of us (epecially those of us who are minorities) to watch, may have been to drive home the differences between her and Macy and play up Macy's love for her sisters

But like we know Macy and Abby arent similar (as much as you writers tried to play that up at first). And you know just adding more sister bonding moment and just the fact that Macy was willing to go to abby after all the previous stuff was enough to show she was desperate? Maybe just add more sister bonding moments so we can see how dedicated they are to each other?

Maybe? Just saying.

If the writers are finally going to commit to Abby being a full on villian then I guess the seen was worth cementing that she is horrible (sort of).

Here's my question though as I consider whether the scene was worth it. Who is this show for and what is it trying to show? I mean if it is for minorities and women then i can see how showing these historical and current issues (conflict of power and consideration among women where race is concerned) then I guess showing it and having that controversy makes sense. But like we live it.

As minorities we already know. I know I struggle between wanting my experience shown and also wanting to watch something where for once the minority characters arent subjected to that experience. Charmed did better at addressing controversy and women's issues in season 1. I dont care if it was "obvious" or "heavy handed" because when it is not you basically get the kneeling scene where you dont know what the point was, if it was necessary, and are left feeling hurt or bitter about it.

2. Hacy Kiss.

Listen Brenda/on, this is on my like and dislike list. I will mention what I dislike about it.

The first thing is that it was a fantasy. I mean yes I like that we get full on confirmation that Macy has romantic feelings for Harry and not just considering that she might have them, but I honestly hate the fact that they would tease us like that. Especially when Macy is at a low moment. Which I will get into.

They are kinda ruining Macy for me. Listen, at this point they havent given us enough insight into Macys feelings or thoughts to understand why she isnt pursuing Harry. We can speculate and infer based on previous seasons and some of what the writers or showrunners say on twitter, but this season itself hasnt done much in showing Macy's thought process and so it falls flat. It isnt her reluctance to let people in or not wanting to get involved with someone after Galvin since she does pursue Julian and gets serious relatively quickly. She, at least now we it is confirmed, has those feelings for Harry, but is still choosing to be with someone else inspite of those feelings. I hate that. Harry is obviously tempted by abby and is being naive with her, but he isnt pursuing her and has blocked her advances (except the kiss) so far which may change who knows, but the point is if Macy was just casually dating and enjoying Julian's company I would be like okay, still hate that she would lead someone on when she has feeling for someone else, but if its casual there is less of a chance of the other person being hurt.

I cant get behind Julian x Macy, not because of Julian (who so far is perfect and probably going to be a villian or some how connected to the villians because it is a common trope) but because of Macy. Julian x Macy isnt Healthy because Macy knows she has feelings for someone else. She is using him. That isnt to say she doesnt genuinely like or care about him, but at the end of the day she is using him. Which is crappy because Julian so far seems like a great guy and doesnt deserve being the "distraction". I mentioned this all the time but my least favorite love triangles are the ones where one person is using the other.

Healthy would be Macy and Julian being friends while she works through her feelings and then decides who she wants to be with. Not being with someone while having feelings for someone else.

Macy was shown in season 1 to be rational and could be rational to the point of compartmentalizing and coming off as cold. So maybe that is where they are drawing from, but again little effort has been made on the part of the writers to show what's going on in her brain other than that fantasy kiss. And again I am still like....okay so what does that mean in the long run you butts!!!

3. Helen's suicude

I am so iffy about how shows portray people completing suicide. Like on one hand I get that them showing her exercising free will, but suicide portrayed as a positive rather than a tragedy is just....ugh for me. I still am not sure how I feel overall about it.

Lore wise I hate that they use it to explain why Harry and jimmy couldnt kill each other, because in an interview rupert claimed Harry was immortal now because of the elder thing and the show said it in that first episode. So like are both true? So if harry tries to stab himself like Helen will he just end up back in the coffin and alive since she is immortal?

I mean we are 12 episodes in and have about 10 to go so we really should be working towards a cohesive lore and storyline not adding confusing or not well explained layers. The world building they did in the first half was a lot better which makes me wonder what they heck is going on in the writing room.

Likes

1. Parkerita

Let me explain. While I fancy Jordan x Maggie together. I'd prefer that be a slow burn and steady friendship first. Parker seems to be Maggie's first love. It makes sense that she is still grieving and holding on. While I kind of wanted to be done with Parkerita in fairness to all the season 1 romances that where tossed out, I like the nod to Phole. I felt the OG Phole relationship was not healthy, but I liked the tradgedy of it. I think if new Charmed wants to wrestle with that and do it better (although my faith in the writers is low right now) then I wouldnt be against it. I love a good tradgedy and I sat through Phole so I'll sit through this one.

2.Hacy kiss

I love that the writers finally did something to show us what is going on in Macys brain. I need more (not necessarily Harry fantasies but I wont complain if we get more of those). I do hope a real Hacy kiss is a bit different because one one hand the fact Macy wanted to kiss harry when she was feeling down says something to me about how she feels about him and that she still trusts him (but it could, If I wanted to be cynical, just be more evidence that Macy skews towards using people when she is repressing or feeling down although she didnt actually kiss him, if she had I think I would have not liked it in that particular moment given it would have felt more like using him that expressing feelings)

Highlights

1. Abby really thinks no means maybe 😒 . . .

2. Mel is a lesbian magnet and I'd be fine with her just casually dating while all this other crap is going on as long as she is happy

2. Helen

3. These horror movie vibes though!!

[darklarru]

all of them. just fckin.. all of them. every single question. 1-100. good luck comrade.

fuck u, here it is:

1.      Is a kiss considered cheating?

-if theykiss a boy idm.

2.      Have you ever faked orgasm?

-yeahlmao

3.      If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

-shapeshifting

4.      Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

-I fuckinhope so

5.      Tell us some funny drunk story.

-oh man,ive only been smashed once, and it was a night full of regrets and a lot ofcheating and gay stuff happened.

6.      Why are you no longer together with your ex?

-u knowwhat. fuck my ex, he was a manipulative cheating cunt and he broke up with meover snapchat.

7.      If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? 

-bathtuband sleeping pills, im out painlessly.

8.      What are your current goals?

-be asuccessful bitch and build myself up.

9.      Do you like someone?

-wheneverI think of feelings I take a shot so idk..

10.   Who was the last person to disappoint you?

-my ex.

11.   Do you like your body?

-eh imgetting there

12.   Can you keep a diet?

-no lmao

13.   If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

-don’t discriminateagainst sex workers and treat them like actual people.

14.   Do you work?

-yep, gota retail job and everything.

15.   If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, whatwould it be?

-ayesalad, bc anything you cut up and put in a bowl is salad, so pizza salad, fruitsalad, ice cream salad, anything.

16.   Would you get a tattoo?

-hellyeah, im actually thinking about getting this floral one on my thigh, gottalike, tell my mum tho.

17.   Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

-theperson I love,,

18.   Can you drive?

Ive onlyhad like, one driving test ever.

19.   When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

-at therink on Friday? Someone said I was beautiful and that my ex didn’t deserve me:)

20.   What was the last thing you cried for?

-when I drinkI don’t cry, so ive been drinking a lot.

21.   Do you keep a journal?

-yep,serves as my receipts.

22.   Is life fun?

-ehhhhitll get there.

23.   Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

-I don’t reallycare, just warn me so I have time to get out of there.

24.   What’s your dream car?

-somethingI don’t have to use petrol for.

25.   Are grades in school important?

-justnail ur finals and ur good.

26.   Describe your crush.

-its tooearly homie

27.   What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

-WONDERWOMAN HOLY SHIT A+

28.   What was your last lie?

-im fine

29.   Dumbest lie you ever told? 

-idk, I normallytell the truth, its such an effort to lie.

30.   Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

-no I doit all the time lmao

31.   Something you did and you are proud of?

-Teamedup with my Best Friend and Absolutely Called the shit out of my Ex out andfuckin roasted him.

32.   What’s your favourite cocktail?

-I haven’tdelved into cocktails too much yet, ive been drinking straight.

33.   Something you are good at?

-iceskating?? idk

34.   Do you like small kids?

-I hatekids so much

35.   How are you feeling right now?

-There

36.   What would you name your daughter/son?

-daughter:Lavender? Idk I just watched matilda and I was like what a pretty name, andboys: Christian?  

37.   What do you need to be happy?

-abillion dollars

38.   Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

-my ex

39.   What was the last gift you received?

-does mycoworker buying everyone hot chocolates and frozen cokes during their shiftcount as a gift

40.   What was the last gift you gave?

-a fidgetcube?

41.   What was the last concert you went to?

-panic atthe disco in January :D

42.   Favourite place to shop at?

-ittotally was this gothic shop in Newtown, but then it moved and I don’t knowwhere it is anymore :/

43.   Who inspires you?

-myselfbitch

44.   How old were you when you first got drunk?

-18

45.   How old were you when you first got high?

-never

46.   When was your first kiss?

-when I was15? 16?

47.   Something you want to do until the end of this year?

-be amermaid, like fr, go follow mermaid_shelly on Instagram no joke.

48.   Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

-dated myex

49.   Post a selfie.

-heres alink instead: http://darklarru.tumblr.com/post/161374174865/cat-cafe-aesthetic

50.   Who are you most comfortable around?

-my BestFriend

51.   Name one thing that terrifies you.

-to loseeverything I worked for

52.   What kind of books do you read?

-haventread a book in so long, but I like the fantasy genre

53.   What would you tell your 12 year old self?

-girl,girl, u gay as fuck

54.   What is your favourite flower?

-roses!!

55.   Any bad habits you have?

-speakingquietly

56.   What kind of people are you attracted to?

-peoplewho think the same as me

57.   What was the last thing you cried for?

-my ex :/

58.   Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

-pickles,what r they doin, get outta here

59.   Are you in love?

-yeah imalways in love

60.   Something you find romantic?

-tealightcandles

61.   How long was your longest relationship? 

-like 3or 4 months

62.   What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

-wereso,, bitchy.

63.   What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? 

-they don’tknow what the fuck is up, they don’t listen, they always horny, theyre kindaviolent, theyre more hardcore and aggressive physically.

64.   What are you saving money for?

-anothermermaid tail,,, but also a house I guess

65.   How would you describe your bad side?

-emotional,angry, violent, temperamental, not thinking,, idk

66.   Are you actually a good person? Why?

-sometimesI guess, I try not to be shitty, but some people fuckin deserve it.

67.   What are you living for?

-a future

68.   Have you ever done anything illegal?

-probably

69.   Do you like your body?

-yeahsometimes

70.   Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

-notunless we were fighting

71.   Ever sent nudes?

-whohasnt

72.   Have you ever cheated on someone?

-I cheatedon a guy with girl and I was very drunk, but then we said same sex cheating wasokay

73.   Favourite candy?

-redfrogs, gummy bears

74.   Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

-imbarely on this hell site

75.   Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

-adarkroomwas one of my Faves

76.   Favourite TV series?

-w.i.t.c.h.what a Classic

77.   Are you religious? Does God exist?

-yeah, imchill w god.

78.   What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

-I haven’tread a book in so long yall.

79.   What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

-kudos tothem who r doin it but I really love chicken.

80.   How long have you been on Tumblr?

-sinceyear 9, so like, 2013

81.   Do you like Chineese food?

-I am Chinese

82.   McDonalds or Subway?

-subwayyyy

83.   Vodka or whiskey?

-fuuuuuuck,,,fucking love vodka but it makes my face screw up in a bad expression, and I lovefireball whiskey, but like, vodka gets me fucked up faster.

84.   Alcohol or drugs?

-alcohol,don’t do drugs kids

85.   Ever been out of your province/state/country?

-ya

86.   Meaning behind your blog name?

-I lovetypos

87.   What gets you up in the morning?

-spite.

88.   What are you scared of?

-a lot ofthings

89.   Last time you were insulted?

-wednesday

90.   Most traumatic experience ?

-my bf atthe time, was fuckin, chewin his toenails in his mouth, and I forgot bc he wasbein sweet n he stuck his tongue out to touch mine, n I stuck mine out too n I fuckni,,.,,,. touched the toenail w my mouth I nearly threw up, I felt my soul ejectfrom my body for a second.

91.   Perfect date idea?

-picnicdaate, and watching the stars and cuddling

92.   Favourite app on your phone?

-instagram?I check it the most.

93.   What colour are the walls in your room?

-white

94.   Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

-daviddobrik tbh

95.   Share your favourite quote.

-ifsomeone tells you that they hurt you, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.

96.   What is the meaning of life?

-when thestreets are empty and the moon is shining and nobody is awake and its chilly,but your alone and maybe the wind is blowing through the grass, or whatever.

97.   Do you like horror movies?

-fuck nah

98.   Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

-I signedup for Netflix and didn’t tell her.

99.   Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

-I amspecial

100. Can you keep a secret?

-ya justmake sure u tell me its important.

[travisandersondatingblog]

What is Gaslighting? 11 Red Flag Signs He’s Manipulating You

You keep hearing this term “gaslighting,” and you’re wondering about it. People have even told you that you’re being gaslit. So…what IS gaslighting?

In a Nutshell: What is Gaslighting?

What is gaslighting, and are you a victim?

Essentially, with gaslighting, a person, usually a romantic partner, denies the validity of things you know you’re experiencing.

“You’re imagining things. You didn’t see me with another woman.”

“I never said that!”

“You’re being paranoid.”

Usually, the people gaslighting their partners are sociopaths or narcissists. It’s about power: by making you feel like you’re wrong or going crazy, you rely on that person more. He feels like he has more control over you.

Cheaters gaslight. So do men who emotionally or physically abuse women. But not all men who gaslight cheat or abuse women, so don’t let that be the only sign that you look for. I’ll tell you some really good signals to watch out for in a minute.

Gaslighting is dangerous because this person who you trust causes you to lose touch with reality. You start to question everything and doubt yourself. You may lose self-confidence and feel like you’ll never find a relationship better than this.

I’m here to tell you that if you’re being gaslit, you absolutely deserve and can find a better man who respects and loves you. This man isn’t it!

The origin of the term “gaslighting” actually comes from a 1938 play, as well as the adapted movie in 1944, called “Gas Light.”  In it, a husband manipulates his wife to make her think she’s actually losing her sanity so he can commit her to a mental institution and steal her inheritance. If you’re living this reality, this might be a horror movie for you!

Types of Gaslighting

There are several ways a man can gaslight you.

There are several types of gaslighting, so when you ask, “what is gaslighting,” you may get several answers depending on who you ask. Each is valid, and you may actually experience more than one type.

Withholding

“What are you talking about? That makes no sense. Why are you trying to turn this situation around on me?”

He pretends he doesn’t understand you or refuses to listen. The more you talk to him, the more confused you get because he’s acting like you’re confusing him!

Countering

“That’s not how it happened. You never remember things correctly.”

In this type of gaslighting, he tells you that your memory of a situation or event is wrong. He makes you doubt what you know you remember.

Blocking/Diverting

“Who put that idea into your head? I’m sick of talking about this.”

If he changes the subject or tells you that you’re imagining things, he’s gaslighting you.

Trivializing

“Why are you so sensitive? This isn’t worth getting upset over.”

This guy belittles your feelings, especially when they involve anger or frustration toward him. He makes you feel like you’re overreacting…but I’m telling you: you probably aren’t.

Forgetting/Denial

“You’re totally making that up. I never said that!”

He flat out denies what you know happened. Maybe you know he swore he’d pay you for the concert tickets you bought and now he’s telling you that you said you’d pay for them.

11 Signs Your Partner is Gaslighting You

via GIPHY

Now that I’ve answered the question “what is gaslighting” a bit (though we could talk about it for hours!), let’s look at a few signs you can keep an eye out for to figure out if the guy you’re dating is gaslighting you.

1. He Tells You That You’re Imagining Things

Okay, so you know you saw the guy you’re dating kiss another woman at a party. But he’s telling you that you’re crazy. He says he was just leaning over to tell her something, and you thought he was kissing her.

Uh-uh. Not only did you see it with your own two eyes, but your gut is also screaming that this guy is lying.

2. He Says You’re Overreacting

Every time you get upset about something (and that seems to be happening more and more as you’re dating this guy), he tells you that you’re making way too big a deal out of it.

Like the time he stood you up and you waited at the restaurant for an hour. He didn’t think that was a big deal and doesn’t get why you’re fuming.

Let me just say that, whether this guy is gaslighting you or not, you are entitled to your feelings. If he pisses you off, you can be pissed off. And you can tell him how you feel. The fact that he’s uncomfortable with your anger is not your problem.

3. Your Confidence is Dwindling

You used to consider yourself a fairly confident woman, but now you question everything you say or do. You may not even realize that the man you’re with is the cause.

Craig Malkin, a lecturer at Harvard Medical School and author of the book Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists, says that gaslighting is “an extremely dangerous form of emotional abuse because it undermines your self-confidence.”

You have to ask yourself: which would you rather have, your self-confidence or a man that makes you feel like crap?

4. He Always Wants the Upper Hand

In your past relationships, you were the one with a little more power (it’s normal for there to be a slight imbalance in every relationship), so it’s a bit surprising to you that in this relationship, he’s got it. And he fights to have that upper hand.

Whether it’s him picking where you eat every single time (a girl can only eat so much Thai food), having the last say in every argument, or vetoing your choice of movie, you feel like your opinion doesn’t matter. And you’re right. Because if he’s getting his way, he’s happy.

5. He Makes You Feel Not Good Enough

“I’m the best thing that will ever happen to you. You’d be a fool to leave.”

The fact that this man feels the need to tell you that means that he doesn’t think that you’d believe it otherwise. I mean, you’d know if he was the best thing ever, right? And the fact that he’s trying to make you think you’ll never find better just goes with the fact that he wants you under his thumb.

He may even tell you that you’re not pretty or smart enough for another man, and that he’s doing you a favor by staying with you.

Say whaaaaat??

This is unacceptable. A true partner lifts you up and makes you feel incredible. That, in turn, makes you happy to be with him…no threat needed.

6. He Seems Like Two Different People

Maybe the reason you’re Googling “what is gaslighting” right now is because when he’s great, he’s great. But when he’s terrible…that’s when you think you might need to leave him.

A gaslighter (as well as a sociopath or narcissist) is really good at the whole Jekyll and Hyde routine. He’ll woo you with flowers…and then tell you that you’re crazy. He strings you along just enough that you want to stay, hoping the good version will come out more.

Realize that the good side of him is an act and that the darker side is his true self.

7. You Feel Confused When You’re With Him

I’ve worked with women who describe dating a gaslighter like being on a carousel. Everything is spinning around until they’re dizzy and don’t know what way is up when they talk to this man. You might start a conversation about how he never spends time at your place and then the conversation ends with him criticizing your financial habits. WTF?

He’s great at deflecting criticism directed toward him, which can make for a confusing conversation.

8. You Find Yourself Apologizing a LOT

Part of that whole carousel thing happens when you start out upset about something he’s done and then ending up apologizing for something you’ve done. He’s adept at turning around an argument so that you feel guilty and at fault…and forget about whatever it is that you were mad about.

Now look, I’m not saying you’re faultless in every argument. But look back over your relationship: has he ever apologized to you for any of his shortcomings? I’m willing to bet he hasn’t…or not often and sincerely.

9. You’re Not Happy But Feel Like You Can’t Leave

He’s making you feel unworthy.

Whether they’ve used the term gaslighting or not, your friends have been telling you for a while that this guy is bad news. They see how he treats you and they see how unhappy you are. And you know they’re right…only you can’t bring yourself to end the relationship.

Why? Likely because he’s made you feel like you’ll be even more miserable without him. Maybe he talks about how there are a ton of skeevy guys on dating apps or how, because you’re not 20 anymore, you’ll have trouble finding a quality man.

Realize that this is his messaging, not yours. He has an ulterior motive for making you feel like you shouldn’t leave him. I have nothing to gain by telling you the truth: you can and will find someone who treats you right. You don’t have to put up with this emotional abuse.

10. He Turns Things Around on You

Maybe he doesn’t criticize you…unless you’re expressing your frustration with him. All of a sudden, you’re full of flaws and have committed any number of mistakes in this relationship.

Realize that this is a defense mechanism. He can’t accept that he’s done anything wrong at all, and so emotionally pushes back on you and pours out every little grievance he has about you.

The best thing you can do is not absorb his criticism. You know your areas of weakness in a relationship, and certainly, you should work on them. But don’t let him tell you how awful you are…because it isn’t true.

11. He Says You Don’t Trust Him

This one is especially true for cheaters who gaslight. Let’s say you found out that he cheated, but you decide to stay. Of course, whenever anything suspicious comes up (a woman calls asking for him without identifying herself; you find a pair of women’s sunglasses in his car), he makes a big stink about how you don’t trust him. If you can’t trust him, why are you even with him?? He ends up making you apologize and assure him that yes, you do trust him, and you must have misunderstood that pair of panties you found in his bed!

You either trust him or you don’t. He probably is right that you don’t…but you have good reason not to, so don’t let him move you away from evidence that he can’t be trusted.

What to Do If He’s Gaslighting You

Feeling trapped? It’s up to you to change the situation.

Okay, so we’ve answered “what is gaslighting,” and we’ve looked at 11 signs that the man you’re dating is, in fact, gaslighting you. The big question is: what are you going to do about it? Depending on how long you’ve been with this guy, it may not be so simple to just walk away. So let’s look at some easier steps you can take before it comes to that.

Realize That You’re Not Crazy

If you find yourself wondering fairly frequently, “am I crazy??” I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you’re not. People that are mentally unbalanced aren’t usually aware of it. Especially if you’ve only wondered this as long as you’ve been dating this man.

If you feel grounded in reality with every other person in your life, then you’re okay. If you don’t confuse facts or get things wrong with your friends and family, then clearly it’s this guy causing the problems.

So take a deep breath. You’re not crazy. You’re totally okay…and about to get more okay as you deal with this stressful situation.

Write Down Conversations

The quickest way to nip an argument in the bud where he’s telling you that you remembered something wrong is to have written evidence. If he says he’ll do something, take a quick note in your phone. Put the date and time he said it, and what he said. Heck, record him saying it! See how he weasels out of that one!

Then when he starts to tell you that you’re wrong, pull out your notes.

Don’t Engage in an Argument

This type of person seems to thrive on arguing, so your best course of action is not to engage him in it. He gets a high from putting you down and telling you all the things you’re doing wrong. If you don’t engage, he has no fodder.

Understand That He Isn’t the Right Guy for You

By now, I feel like you know this. You are an incredible woman and worthy of attracting a man who values your opinion and never tries to squash you. There may have been good qualities about this guy initially, but now he’s different. You can’t go back to the way things were (if they ever really were good), so it’s best if you can let go of the idea that things will improve.

Know That You WILL Be Better Off Without Him

I know that dating (especially for those in your 40s or later) is no picnic sometimes. I know that you might feel like staying in this relationship is better than the alternative. But that’s just because you can’t see what’s coming up for you. And I know for a fact that even better things are in your future!

Quite honestly, wouldn’t you rather be on your own with no one criticizing you or making you feel insane? I think you would.

Conclusion:

What you do now is up to you, but my suggestion is that you break up with this man and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence. Know that out there is a great man who would love to treat you right.

Let me hear from you in the comments: do you think you’re being gaslit? What signs is he showing that he’s gaslighting you?

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The post What is Gaslighting? 11 Red Flag Signs He’s Manipulating You appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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