#love the flashlight effect btw

[goldeneyedgirl]

okay so since you asked here goes my main questions about Deaf Mary Alice: how was her relationship with Maria? Was she softer with her or tried to protect her in any way? Or did Jasper tried to protect Mary Alice from her? Also, was she and Charlotte and Peter friends? Did they talk to her like Jasper did?

And for what you said about Jasper not knowing how to act with her, since when I read the first snippet, I pictured him trying hard to be gentle (maybe because he had this misogynistic 19th century idea that she was a poor fragile little deaf girl) but really he doesn't know how to do that. It's like a baby monkey trying to solve a complex math problem. What I got from your last snippet (which I loved so much btw!!!) is that he didn't know if she would survive anywhere else.

But this is only my nonsese. I hope I got it right and I'd be the happiest with whatever you come up with because, again, this verse just touches my heart in a way I can't even explain, it's crazy the power that fanfiction holds

Oh I LOVE questions like these. Buckle up, I decided to ramble.

Maria

Maria's a complicated figure in Mary-Alice's life. Initially, she's tolerant of Mary-Alice - what's the point of killing her on the spot when she could be sent into battle as canon fodder? Free newborn without three days of screaming? Maria isn't going to say no.

Maria's been around a long time and she's seen vampires adapt to almost any circumstance. A deaf vampire is a new flavour, but not an insurmountable one.

So when Mary-Alice not only learns to fight with the other newborns, but makes her through her first few battles in one piece, Maria is suitably taken with her. She's completely useless for scouting, and not particularly helpful with hunting for the army, but she's a powerhouse on the battlefield, and a quick study at battle plans. Maria definitely suspects there might be some kind of gift at work.

But also on that side of the coin is that Maria accepted Mary-Alice into the army, and kept her after the newborn year. That's effectively claiming Mary-Alice as one of her own creations, which is about as affectionate as Maria gets towards her soldiers.

And Maria has a hard time dealing with Mary-Alice's positivity. She's so clearly pleased to be amongst them, and is loyal to them, that being nasty or violent towards her is kind of futile. It makes more sense when Mary-Alice can communicate enough to explain that she has no memories of her life or change. Maria might have an ounce more patience with Mary-Alice than hearing vampires, and she ends up carrying a flashlight to get Mary-Alice's attention urgently in battle situations, but that's about the most grace she gives her until Jasper leaves.

That's when Maria kind of promotes her, gives her more privileges, because she knows exactly how much of Mary-Alice's life relied on Jasper translating for her. It gets harder, the more time goes on, because Maria does not have the inclination to teach anything more than basic commands in sign language to newborns once a year, and the newborns often aren't interested.

Ultimately, Maria lets Mary-Alice leave for various reasons: officially, she's become a liability because no one can communicate with her effectively, and deserves a reward for her staunch loyalty to Maria's cause. Kind of a PR stunt with the rest of Maria's soldiers.

Unofficially, Maria realises that she's made mistakes in the past with her people, and she's learned from that. It would be nice if one of her people left the army considering Maria a friend and ally. It's also a gesture of peace and goodwill to Jasper - Maria took care of Mary-Alice, the person that Jasper prized most in the army. Now that he's healed and in a place Maria deems acceptable, Mary-Alice is following him.

Does that make sense? I hope so.

Peter & Charlotte.

Both Peter and Charlotte can speak to Mary-Alice, not as fluently as Maria, but Jasper really is the only person who can converse with Mary-Alice without her having to resort to lip-reading at some point. Peter is far more fluent than Charlotte.

Peter has a far better relationship with this version of Mary-Alice. She follows Jasper around like a puppy, and Jasper's somehow both embarrassed and kind of flattered by it. Most of the newborns were too frightened of the Major to hit on him, and here's Mary-Alice just trotting along at his side.

Peter and Mary-Alice joke with each other a lot, tease each other a lot, and competed a lot in training. The most you could say is that Mary-Alice was pissed that Peter picked a fight with Jasper the night he and Charlotte left because if Peter had used his damn words, Jasper probably would have let them go.

Peter's the first one to realise that Jasper's caught feelings when they're figuring out sign language, and he kind of just leaves it alone - but he definitely works double-time in battles to make sure Mary-Alice stays alive, and protects her from other newborns that see her as an easy target.

Charlotte doesn't get as much time with Mary-Alice, but sees her as some kind of magic - she caught Jasper and Mary-Alice together in her newborn year, and the way he went all soft and kind when she spoke to him. And then it's Mary-Alice who tells Peter that he needs to take Charlotte and go North as soon as possible. It's Mary-Alice who intercepts the fight between Jasper and Peter when they do try to leave.

Peter is the one that asks Maria if they can take Mary-Alice to Jasper. He's willing to negotiate, and he's kind of surprised that Maria agrees as easily as she does. Kind of a full-circle 'she got them out safe, so they returned the favour'.

If something were to happen to Jasper, Peter would insist that Mary-Alice leave the Cullens and join him and Charlotte. (That's not a spoiler; just kind of the dynamic Peter has with Mary-Alice.)

Jasper.

Jasper was exactly like a monkey trying to do algebra. Not once since he was changed did he have to be gentle. Everyone was terrified of him aside from Peter and Maria. By 1919, the only time he touches anyone is to destroy them. And he's so, so tired.

And Mary-Alice just looks at him and smiles. There is immediate trust there, and he has no idea what to do with that. He's doubtful Maria will even let her live if she can't hear. But Maria does, and he's put in charge of communicating with her. Suddenly, he's spending hours with this girl who has no fear of him. Who will grab him to point at something, whose face lights up when he returns from boundary runs. And the only thing he feels like he can offer her is to build her a language and train her to fight like the devil. The first scar she ever gets from a bite, she literally laughs and tells him they match now.

She forces him to remember how to be a man and not just an executioner, and it's hard. He does everything he can not to care but he does so, so much.

Jasper leaves her behind for two reasons; one is the depression. He's holding on by the skin of his teeth. He's barely making it through battles himself, he cannot protect her any longer. And then there's the fact that the North is a total unknown. Maria has always doubled-down on the idea that it's worse than the South, that it's a full death wish to leave Texas. He always thought Peter and Charlotte were destroyed when they left. But when Peter comes back, he's willing to take the chance on Peter's promises that it's safer and better - but only for himself.

The idea he could take Mary-Alice with him and get her killed, or have her harmed in any way, made him sick. He had no idea what he was running to, so he was going to leave the one person he loved best with Maria, the one person who knew how to survive no matter what. And he made this decision in about a minute, because Peter was begging him to just run.

The only thing Jasper ever really wanted was to keep the girl that looked at him like he was everything she ever hoped for safe, even if that meant he had to leave her behind.

Anon, I run with every little thing. You can just hit me with a question and I will get out my diagrams and pinboards and all my notes. I love getting into the details so much.

And I am genuinely touched that this little riff has had such an impact on you. I love trying out new stuff, especially things that make Twilight a little bit more diverse and nuanced than canon. Trust me when I say a lot of my weird little snippets and verses wouldn't continue without people who were invested in them <3

[draconic-distress]

Inktober Day 31: Halloween!

thank squod, october is over! Here's a funny fic of the children again for the final day :) spoilers for the splatoon 3 story mode btw, enjoy!

as always, credit for the prompts goes to @tidalknave

And that’s when the monster creeped up behind him—!”

“Aw boooo,” Pix groaned, slumping over dramatically. “Not this one again!”

“You tell this story every year; Reef,”—DJ rested his head on one fist, his leg bouncing a bit as he spoke—“Don’t you have anything else?”

Reef flicked off the flashlight in xir hand and crossed xir arms. “Well it’s not like anyone else has any stories.”

“I have a story.”

The group turned to Kaiden, who’d been sitting quietly with its small fry buddy Jorge up until now. Kaiden wasn’t exactly the creative type, so having a spooky story to tell was new for them. 

“Alright, the floor is yours, bud,”—Reef threw the flashlight to xir teammate—“This better be good.”

“Don’t worry, it will be,” Kaiden hopped up onto its feet, Jorge on their shoulders. They flicked the flashlight on and held it below their chin.

“A long long LONG time ago,” they began. “Before inklings and octolings, there were humans!”

“This is gonna be some cheesy sci-fi story, isn’t it?” Reef interjected.

“Shush!”—Pix pushed Reef aside, leaning close and holding her pointy hat—“I wanna hear the rest!”

“Ok ok,” Kaiden continued. “So humans. They used to be the dominant species. But one day, the world turned against them! Volcanoes! Floods! Meteors! Pew pew! Pfffssssh! Booom! Aaah!”

The octoling waved their hands for dramatic affect as they added their sound effects, Jorge gargling for emphasis, earning a laugh from their friends.

“When all of it ended, humanity was basically extinct. All the survivors escaped to the underground in domes to hide from the broken world.”

“Like the octarian kettles?” DJ tilted his head; he didn’t know much about the domes, having grown up in the deep.

“Exactly!”—Kaiden pointed to its friend before continuing—“Anyways, the humans started building a life for themselves underground, and called their new home Alterna. 

“They started 3D printing all their favorite things, like trees and big, funny-looking heads made outta stone! And then we started putting ‘em in our lockers!”—Another laugh from the rest of the group—“and you wanna know what else? They found sea creatures, and started farming them!”

“I bet they wanted to know how we got so fresh,” Pix pulled one of her dorky cute poses, more giggling ensuing.

“Nuh-uh! They harvested us to EAT US!!” Kaiden growled, circling their friends who flinched as they screamed. “Turn fish’s scales into bags and ink sacs into mind-reading crystals!

“But even then, the humans wanted more and more! They built a big rocket, and planned to escape the dome, but it exploded, killing all the humans left and shattering the dome, which was covered in those crystals! 

“They dissolved into the waters they kept the sea creatures in, and little by little, they infused them with humanity’s essence. Their culture, their fashions, and one goal: to see the sky.

“Inkling society isn’t built on new and fresh ideas, it’s built on the ancient past. We are the remains of humanity, we are the INFERIOR SPECIES!!”

The sound of lightning echoed across the dark, cloudy sky as Kaiden finished their story, Jorge completing with a little ‘dun-dun-DUUN’. The rest of the group leaned in closer with distorted faces, fearful yet no less intrigued.

“Woah…” Pix mumbled at last. “That’s so COOL!! It’s creepy and I LOVE IT!!”

“So we’re, like, the next evolution of humans?” Reef rolled and crinkled xir white sheets xir hands.

“Basically, yeah!” Kaiden concluded, switching off the flashlight and flopping back down to sit with their friends. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“Yeah,”—DJ gripped the frilly edges of his shirt sleeves, glancing between the others, who seemed to have the same thought—“it’s not real, is it…?”

“Maybe it is,” Kaiden shrugged, readjusting their fuzzy eared headband. “Maybe it’s not, who knows?”

“Well whatever,”—Pix stood up from her spot on the floor, dusting off her dress—“the Splatoween festival’s gonna start soon, let’s go so we don’t miss it!”

The rest of the group hurried along with Pix, heading for the Splatsville square to enjoy the autumn festivities. Kaiden hopped back up, Jorge in his little pumpkin costume on its shoulder. They leaned in closed and whispered to their little buddy:

“They don’t know about the ancient horrors.”

“Kaiden c’mon!” Pix called out from beyond the alleyway. “It’s gonna start any minute!”

“Coming!” It returned, running along to meet up with its friends.

The other didn’t need to believe the story, there were some parts that even Kaiden didn’t believe itself. But it was all in good fun, and it’s not like O.R.C.A. was gonna find out that they told their friends. Scary stories were the best part of Splatoween, and Kaiden was happy they finally had one to tell.

I mean, it’s not like humans are gonna rise from the dead and take over the world again… right?

[platonic-prompts]

hi can u help me figure out a low/mid level magical power that can be used in combat? love your blog sm btw!!!

Anything can be used in combat if you try hard enough!

(I say this as a joke but its true, especially if they prepare before hand, that being said the effect it will have will definitely vary)

But it also highly depends on the type of magic system you have. For instance I have a magic system where some people get super OP powers but they're generally so OP that the backlash can range from 'almost murdering the president on accident' to 'there are seven days in a week. There used to be eight' along with them having to have a regulator in order to...not do that

So i mean if your magic system allows for body alteration or alteration of physics, you could make someone able to bounce around/make jumps in air like they're off of a wall. That would be versatile in a fight, even if they mainly use spells/magic to fight as it would give them more mobility to avoid attacks (or if they're a more hands on characters, well guerilla tactics would work)

And if this is less limited to one character and more spell like, then maybe something like they can summon bright flashes of light (low level) or brief flashes of light with a small pressure wave (mid level) and then the high level would be mid level but much more dangerous, since its like Super-bright flashlight, stun grenade, actual grenade but with less shrapnel

If you have other high level magic powers like that, you could also just figure out when their lower level versions would be

But by far the best low/mid level magical power that can be used in combat is being able to pull soup cans out of your pockets

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 2-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

Ooooooh mysterious...

Oh so this variant can (at least briefly) cont people with a simple touch? No need for a scepter?

I NEED A HEROOO!

Oh this variant is taking that lady away? I wonder why

Miss Minutes is gonna move me to violence

Loki is me studying

Hahahahaha get her Loki!

Loki, leave Mobius’ magazines alone

Wow he got into the work force rather fast huh? Bit of a whiplash type scenario considering the end of episode one

No, YOU’RE a cosmic mistake! 😤 my boy looks hot regardless

Sooooo Loki is the most common variant? Why does this not surprise me?

Is... is he a football cup champion??? Omg 😂

Smart boy. Illusion projecting is different than duplication casting. Neato. LISTEN TO MY SMART BOY. RESPECT HIM.

Dude loves wheeling

Yea Loki. Work on getting to the time keepers. Overthrow the government.

Dude is smart with these questions.

Propaganda is INDEED exhausting so that’s fair

Fist hostage... maybe he’s (or she?) gonna use her as a body transfer like Loki in the comics with Sif?

Oh please let this be a genuine smart Loki moment and not just setting him up as a joke and embarrassment...

“Where there are wolf’s ears, wolf’s teeth are near.” Good to know basic mammalian anatomy is still applicable to Asgardian wolves...

Cmon Loki do something cool. Please. Please Loki. Please.

Preach my man, but please, do something cool. My anxiety that you’ll be turned into a joke is spiking.

Is he actually waiting outside or is Loki really just trying to mess with them and throw them off? Or is he just being too cocky for his own good and it’s gonna mess him up? Please please please don’t disappoint me. I have merch for this show already that I can’t return

Bargain baby, bar again. Do it.

Is he actually concerned for the time keepers orrrrrr

Dangit Mobius

Does... being reset... hurt?

Bye C-20 I guess... for now? We’ll see

Of course it’s a friggin theremin that’s playing

Mobius x Judge Renslayer? Oooooooh. Tsundere Renslayer.

Use a coaster my man

Oh her first name is Ravonna

Controversy is the best thing though

You can never understand this Loki. As soon as you begin to understand, he changes. He’s unpredictable.

“I know you have a soft spot for broken things.” Ah, so this entire fandom then?

“But Loki is an evil, lying scourge.” YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU WENCH!

“That is the part he plays in the sacred timeline.” Well you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention to the files then, hm? Here, let me redirect you to one of the many character analyses I’ve written. Now if you read here........

He doesn’t need to change. He’s already not evil

I don’t trust Renslayer or the time keepers... or Renslayer WITH the time keepers... I think she plays a bigger, antagonistic role than I thought.

You just TRY and delete him Mobius... just... TRY... I will find a way to break the fourth wall and no time keepers can keep you safe from the rage of a million fan girls. Nothing... we don’t need magic...

Omg Loki just sitting there in a chair outside the office like a kid while their parent is talking with the teacher about their “recent behavior”.

Cmon Loki, you don’t need to make excuses or impress him.

My poor boy is SOOO out of his zone.

Tbf mobius, you ASKED. You asked what makes him tick.

Hey hey hey, let’s not gaslight my boy...

The Loki is... uhhh something... gotta keep my hopes up. Trust in Tom Hiddleston...

Mobius showing his true colors...

Please Loki... be badass... not just a joke... please please please... PLEASE!

Mobius, play nice.

I hope this “superior” Loki thing, if it is a female, isn’t a desperate attempt at feminism pandering, chocking up her “superiority” to being female. Please give the characters real stories. Flesh them out.

Juice box time?

No?

More homework?

Bugger...

The sass is off the charts

Librarian lady gonna get killed

Oh boy

Pffffft—

I miss Casey.

Hey don’t ignore Loki. That’s rude.

Bell is the answer?

Poor Loki. Stop trying to fit in. You are best when you are genuinely yourself.

What’s to stop Loki from grabbing the other files?

Homework... I thought I escaped this when I graduated...

Whatcha seeing there?

Oh...

Bye bye Asgard...

Cmon... not more feels.

AGGHHHHHHHH

Please allow him confirmation of Thor’s survival and beating of Thanos!!! He needs that confirmation! He needs that reassurance.

Hear him out Mobius.

“He’s hiding in apocalypses.” Sooooo is that why they go to presumably Mount Vesuvius? I assume?

Mobius, let Loki have your salad.

Rip salad

CASEY

Casey’s juice box

Poor Casey and mobius salad...

Loki, your logic astounds me.

Well, pushing Hulk off of the bridge WOULD have an effect...

VESUVIUS HERE WE COME

He hasn’t really stabbed anyone in the back... except Thor... but not 50 times

Pompeii, here we come!

Ooooooh we gonna see Loki dance with a lady? 😏 get ittttt

Well, if you do cause a branch, can’t you just reset the timeline?

CAUSE SOME CHAOS MY LOVELY MAN

OMG IM HEARING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SPEAK ITALIAN

I can die happy now

Loki... you look insane.

Uhhh run

Okay you’re good

Sleepy Loki

Let him sleep!

Soooo, I mean, technically, Loki’s actions would still cause the timeline to change, but said change wouldn’t have an impact on the future, just the current moment... so shouldn’t it still be detected by the TVA? At least as a little fleck?

Jet skis?

Omg I just snorted at Loki begrudgingly agreeing with Mobius that jet skis are awesome

Mobius offending my History Teachers for 50 minutes straight... that’s it. That’s the episode.

Mobius really in love with jet skis for some reason

We better get to see Mobius on a jet ski

Fighting for jet skis?

Lol mobius has a point about the magical Asgardians and Jötunns

Glorious purpose

Cmon Loki, destroy this man’s beliefs.

OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT

DO IT

TEAM UP AND THROW THE TIMELINE INTO CHAOS

How would you know what the time keepers are doing when you’ve never met them?

How can you meet in peace at the end of time with no chaos?

“You see, I know something children don’t. That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.”

Mobius, don’t patronize my boy. Go jet skiing.

“I know.” Oh good, that point in the trailer was edited.

No candy on Asgard? Poor Loki.

May the best man win? Well that automatically means Loki.

Getting National Treasure vibes

Love you

Alabama will still exist in 2050? That’s disappointing.

Roxxcart.

Loki is very smart. Thank you show.

Renslayer, if you claim Mobius is your friend, trust him.

Kachow!

“For all time.” “Always.” TVA is definitely a cult.

Weapon?

WEAPON!

...weapon???

no weapon...

Meanie...

Are we gonna see what this Loki variant looks like?

I have a feeling this variant is gonna be the female, blonde (I’m so sorry, at the moment I forget her name) in those pictures we saw. Guessing because 1) she was wearing a Loki outfit. 2) her and tom Hiddleston were wet in that picture as if rained on 3) the scene when they enter Roxxcart occurs when it starts to rain due to the upcoming massive storm. So I’m placing all of my money on the table the Loki variant is Lady Loki. Blonde, for some reason. (Or maybe she just didn’t have a wig on in the picture of her we saw?)

Yea please don’t prune this Loki.

Storms a brewing

Good to know Alabama, at some point, does get destroyed. That’s comforting. (Btw this is a joke. I have nothing against Alabama lol. Idk why my brain thought this was funny lol.)

All wet and rainy.

HAHAHAHA USE THAT MAGIC BABY

LET MOBIUS STICK WITH LOKI

Ooh ooh! Is Loki gonna use powers to yoink the roomba here?

Uh oh. Forgot to take into consideration that most big businesses, especially stores, have security cameras, huh?

Times ticking...

Wait was that a reset charge?

Awkward silence

Spookyyyy

Poor dude lol

Or not

Hmmm

Oh???

I RECOGNIZE THAT MAGIC!!! ITS HER!!!

HUNTER (forget her number) IS THE LOKI VARIANT!!! When was she replaced? Or was she always the variant?

That or the other Loki is projecting herself into the hunter? Maybe used the shopping dude as a conduit?

Moment of realization

Smiling contest

No no, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki is superior. I don’t care who else tries to play Loki, Tom IS Loki.

Oh no

Baby crying?

These poor people...

No need to be rough

Is Mobius genuinely caring

Oh... poor C-20

Team up please? Please?

Ah so they really can just send themself into any body they wish, huh? Just by touch?

Loki, learn that trick please.

Sooo, is the other variant Loki’s body tangible? Do they project their conscience into other bodies via touch, or do they not have a corporeal body and rely on others to exist?

Doctor Who vibes

TEAM UP PLEASE

YES

Please

Please?

Offended by Loki name?

Haha sympathy for Thor

Go randy.

Soooo what are you interested in if not ruling the TVA?

Who’s that planting charges? The real body of the other variant Loki?

You okay C-20? (Off topic her actress reminds me of the actress who played Ava Star aka Ghost in Ant-Man and the Wasp) what is real and what about it is so mind capturing for you?

Oh no

Poor girl

Cmon B-15

Hello?

Reset charge

Oh? Bye bye?

HEY!

That’s rude

I miss Randy too

Cmon Loki fight like the badass I know you are

Please

HAHA! TELEKINESIS

Cartwheel WEEEEE

Oooh he swore

Lokis have a pattern of swearing only while taking other peoples forms

Cmon Loki. Go back to mobius. Help them. Prove your goodness. Please.

Poor trucker man

Hello?

Hello!

Fave reveal?

I KNEW IT

Oh????

Flashlights?

RUN!

Is this actually a Loki variant or just sylvie? Or Amora?

Uh oh...

What’s happening

Is she absolutely destroying the timeline?

Poor Doctor Strange. I wonder if he knows about the TVA?

Loki is all alone? Why is he standing still?

Where is she going?

Cmon Loki... help them please...

Loki...

CLIFF HANGER

NOOOOO I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGHHHHHHHH

Are they gonna be okay?

How is the variant traveling?

What is her goal?

Why is Loki going after her?

Why is Loki leaning towards the apparent evil side?

Is this actually lady Loki or sylvie or amora since her hair is blonde?

WHAT IS HAPPENING???

So much just happened in so little time. It’s like Marvel wants to slowly spoon feed us with the first 3/4 of the episode and then in the last 1/4, they waterboard us.

Why is this female Loki variant so much more powerful?

So Loki DID know what was going on at the Renaissance fair and was intentionally stalling for her... why?

Her horned helmet is similar to the one kid(?) Loki wears in the comics. One horn broken. How did that happen? Why does she still wear it, especially if she doesn’t want to be called Loki?

No end credit scene yet.

[frncs]

⌠ ERIC OSBORNE, 21, NON-BINARY, HE/THEY ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, FRANCES ‘FRANK’ LAVOIE! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in MACGYVER SURVIVAL SKILLS AND NAVIGATION & COVERT OPS; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of oversized clothing stitched with thick yarn and littered with cat hair, the snap of stretched balloons before they’re blown and a post-nap dazed gaze. when it’s the (virgo)’s birthday on 09/01/1999, they always request CORN DOGS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ tasha, 22, she/her, est ⍀ 

well well well .. id meant to bring another kid ages ago .. n then jus didn’t because the personality part was/is givin me grief FGJH so pls 🐻  w me n replies as i figure out his voice . also .. haven’t even written out my intro yet . . bt ik it’s gna be long apologies , pls feel free to just read the tldr 

tw: death, accidental murder, grief.

TLDR: grew up fairly well off to spy parents who didn’t want him to be part of that world but apart from that didn’t care what he did with his life otherwise. he often questioned whether they really cared for him at all (tht quote thts like .. if u love me u love me in a way i cant understand). luna’s his best friend, and he’s obsessed with his aunt and uncle’s circus that stops into town every year. life is pretty great until luna ‘dies’ at 16. he joins the circus and becomes a clown, he loves performing with all his heart. at 18, his aunt and uncle arm him with a credit card and tell him to go travel, he assumes it’s because they just want him to explore the world. visits europe for six months and asia for six months, enjoys it but misses the circus terribly, busks a lot. they actually send him away to distance him from the shady happenings that are starting to boil within the company. he comes back in time for the halloween switch-a-roo, where everyone rotates their act (so he does the magic show as a clown). he’s part of a set-up that results in him accidentally killing a person and sawing them in half. his aunt and uncle call his parents, who reluctantly send him to prep school for a little less than a year to heighten his chances of getting into a spy school for protection, which he does. dedicated to working hard and getting a high paying job to pay for reparations for the circus and do a massive overhaul of the way it runs, because it’s like his second home.

grew up in waterford ct, to one retired spy parent ( his mom ) and his dad who works with the government and is aware of espionage. his mom straight up didn’t have a good time, no one really talks about it, he has no idea what happened, doesn’t know if his dad knows either but it’s clear that they don’t want him going into the spy world. 

he feels like he’s always been treated like an adult for as long as he remembers, not in the sense that they burdened him with responsibility, but that they didn’t seem to care what he did one way or another. the best way i can describe it is that his parents had the same energy as a character in a yorgos lanthimos film, very dry and lifeless, like they’re on autopilot. he’d try and cuddle his mom and she’d just pat him on the head. he couldn’t really rebel against them and as long as he went to school and got good grades they appeared un-phased about what he got up to, a very mind your own business dynamic shared between family. 

he didn’t get up to a whole lot, he was a bit of an outsider. didn’t make friends very easily because he didn’t know how to let himself go around people, even though he’d sometimes be excited but wouldn’t know how to show it. definitely had that reserved temperament ingrained into him from his parents. 

he did have one friend who knew him inside and out, luna <3 who was also his neighbour. their demeanours were a perfect match but also he’d find himself getting so excited and wanting to tell her about his day or listen to hers, or read with her or play hopscotch or send her secret notes with his flashlight at her window. 

there was one other thing that got him terribly excited and it’s when his aunt and uncle’s traveling circus would stop in. he’d go every single day for the week and a half it was there. his parents would arrange one dinner with them and consider their familial duty done, other than that they remain out of contact with them. his aunt and uncle tell him that he’s always welcome to join, and he holds them to it. his parents say do whatever you want, just graduate high school first. 

his whole world kinda crumbles when luna ‘dies’ at sixteen. he feels immense guilt over it thinking he should’ve done something about that skeevy bf of hers...this also coincides with one of his mom’s friends dying (harlowe’s mom) which makes his mom act even weirder so he fast tracks his plans to join the circus and joins at sixteen, doesn’t graduate high school. i envision the convo btw him and his dad went like: 

“dad, i’m joining the circus.”

“graduate high school first.”

“no.”

“okay son, i can’t control you.”

the company welcomed him with open arms and he tried out everything, acrobatics, sharpshooting, but wasn’t particularly talented at anything. except, clownery. because messing up is commended, noting how all the kids would laugh at him trying basic magic tricks. so his aunt and uncle got him into a clown costume lickety-split. performing brought him a lot of joy through the grief like he’s an entirely different person when performing, insert that one cursed joker picture: put on a happy face. 

because the owners were his aunt and uncle he was treated exceptionally well and he was very oblivious to the malpractice that went on behind the scenes. the circus had a whole sector dedicated to pickpocketing (other kids who he just saw as friends were often runaways from broken homes who didn’t have anywhere else to go and earned their wages by stealing from customers), and serious kerfuffle with pay, probably some extortion going on, just general yuckery. he vaguely knew it was happening but was kind of like it is what it is kinda standpoint. heavily inspired by the circus barney and clint barton grew up in reffed in the 2015 run of all-new hawkeye.

a couple years later his aunt and uncle give him a credit card and tell him to go travel for a bit. he does because why not but misses the circus terribly. he spends six months in europe and six months in asia, busks as a clown a lot and but his on-the-road/home sickness never really fades.

he returns super excited, ready to clown around but it’s evident tensions are just really high between the workers but they’re still all super sweet to him because he’s very sweet even if he’s oblivious. halloween comes around which is his favourite time of year because they do this thing called the switch-a-roo, where everyone switches what act they’re doing, bicycle acts do contortionist acts, lion tamers do rope walkers, magicians do animal taming and clowns do magic acts. it’s just one big laugh because obviously most of them are cross-trained, but it’s meant to be more of a comedy thing and their mess-ups are to an extent choreographed but also capitalizes on the scariness because they hype up the fact that they have no idea what they’re doing.

he’s doing his magic act, messing up all the magic tricks showing all his cards, and his last act is the sawing someone in half, so the assistant comes out in the box, really selling it like omg a clown !!! being like stop !!! you don’t know what you’re doing !!! and frances is like playing along with the act, as he was told that the gag would be when they split the boxes they’ll have some practical effects to make it look like he’d accidentally actually cut the assistant in half. fumbling with a very real chainsaw, he does the choppity-chop which takes a bit more muscle than he thought it would and the assistant screams a lot then pretends to pass out. anyways it wasn’t an act he accidentally cut someone in half, and they die.

EXTRA CLOWN LORE THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT FEEL FREE TO SKIP!

i envisioned that worker negotiations had been going on for a while and had kinda reached a stalemate where nothing was happening, and there were rumblings about frances being off travelling and spending a shit ton of money where it could’ve been put towards the workers and the circus and his aunt and uncle would hear threats thrown towards frances which is why they wanted him to stay away/go travelling for a while. the girl who was killed did so knowingly, and died a martyr (and also left frances a note explaining things and how she was sorry that he was the one that had to kill her). the whole thing was executed with a lot of thought: how it would affect frances and how it would be seen as a personal attack against his aunt and uncle - and that while the act seemingly went off without a hitch and the public didn’t suspect a thing, the workers have leverage to make it public (which ideally they don’t want b/c a lot of the workers are pretty disenfranchised or have criminal records and truthfully don’t want the end all being the circus closing b/c they do love their job just not the conditions). his aunt an uncle are in a bit of a jam because they need an investor but can’t get that because of shady hiring practices in the first place, and their greed definitely exacerbated the problem.

after that happens his aunt and uncle immediately call his parents, who despite never wanting him to go into the spy industry believe that it would be the safest option for him, and enrol him in prep school (which he attends for less than a year) so that he has more of a chance getting into gallagher the following year, which, with the right strings pulled happens. 

now he’s dedicated to giving it his all so he can get a really high paying job and do a complete overhaul of the company and make a lot of reparations that should’ve been made years and years ago. 

personality

- very patient, a slow talker and more of a listener.  - idealistic, in the sense that he’s always been surrounded by people either in poverty of vulnerable, and despite being a caring guy, adopted that kind of mind your own business mentality his parents had. even his desire to get rich in order to save the circus is a very unrealistic plan or at the very least would take a very long time to achieve.  - tired, i know it’s not a personality trait but i’m making it one, he’s a little bit dazed, not gloomy per se but like he’s woken up from a nap and needs to warm up a bit before being a functioning part of society. but that’s like all his interactions. has the gait of like a drunken kung fu master, very limber.  

headcanons

has slight imposter syndrome about clowning, knows he’s great and always got a standing ovation but can’t help but wonder how much nepotism played a role in her being the main clown in the company.

planning on hiding out in her room during halloween, but is very bittersweet about it, because he thinks that halloween is one of the only times that people are happy because they get to be anyone they want and has found that most people don’t want to be themselves.

has an overweight, old cat which he’s had since he joined the circus and has been everywhere with him. it’s name is cat. he also has an album on his phone of all the strays he’s ever met, which is a lot being on the road. he named all of them but they never got to come with him.

sleeps a lot, probably has some sort of chronic sleep disorder, but enjoys the sweet release from life so he doesn’t question it. has no shame and will sleep anywhere and does.

loves making balloon animals, was his favourite thing to do at the circus. keeps a jewelry dish full of unpumped balloons on his bedside table. also a big reader, and hoarder of anything that can fit in a small travel notebook (leaves, ticket stubs, pictures, anything). 

wanted connections: i’ll update my actual google docs in the coming days but people he met while traveling for a year, anyone with pets wanting to have a pet playdate (cat’s not too active but he could use some company), someone who catches him crying (he cries a lot haven’t peeped his full chart but i can sense the water energy from miles away), people who wake him up when he falls asleep in class, in the common rooms, outside, flirty flirts, someone who’s been to the circus, someone who clowns him about being a clown and he gets super angry, really anything, i’m terrible at coming up with connections i get such a thrill from mundane relations i’m boring <3

[joonsgalaxy]

hold still (m)

pairing: CEO!taehyung x reader

genre: smut

prompt: 12, requested by anon. “i’m a government worker and i had to seduce you for a case but i’m starting to like you legitimately” AU

word count: 2150

warnings: dom!Taehyung; daddy kink

a/n: this has been posted a while ago, but it was flagged as sensitive, so i’m reposting. btw, this was my first time writing smut so try not to judge me too much k? oh, and don’t put random objects up your cupcake irl, this is just fiction where nobody has to deal with consequences of such things lol

The first time you met Kim Taehyung in that bar you didn't think you'll end up bent over the expensive desk in his office. The first time you saw him you had a task and you were adamant about completing it immaculately; you had no idea that some weeks later he'd be edging you with his fingers until you were trembling with insane desire. The first time your gaze landed upon his well-built shape adorned in the most luxurious suit you'd ever seen you were determined to do your job well; you didn't know you'd be whining and squirming now beneath his palm. When your eyes met his for the first time you were about to seduce him for information and never see him again, yet here you were, two months later begging pathetically for his cock.

You worked for the government. You had to coax some information out from Kim Taehyung about his company, more specifically one of his employees. Some would say men don't talk about this delicate stuff openly with a woman they just met, but those people simply don't know what they're talking about. They probably don't work for the government, they don't have your looks and certainly they are not aware of the ways and tools to seduce a man, who works pretty much every minute of the day and is longing for some authentic, honest interaction. Well, that part is always fake on your side, but you're a professional, you know how to make it seem like it's real and natural.

Kim Taehyung didn't have any valuable information about his employee, you could see that on your first encounter. Yet he had something much more interesting, intriguing about himself that made you keep seeing him even after realising his obliviousness to the crimes of the employee. Kim Taehyung had a dazzling personality, striking intelligence, and frankly speaking, he was hot as fuck.

Three weeks into seeing each other he found out about your profession, about the reason he met you, and he, ahem, punished you for not confessing right away, but other than that, as odd as it might sound, he was pretty cool about it.

Well, maybe that was the exact reason two months after you first met him you found yourself doubting if trusting Taehyung was a good decision on your part. Maybe he was lying, maybe he even contributed to his worker's crimes and you were blinded by his seduction. You knew it was mostly the cynical part of you that was not letting you sleep at night, but eventually you realized you had to take action to make sure. You had to investigate.

You called your best friend Jeongguk–the computer expert—and asked for some help. He took care of the cameras and alarms of the building while you searched for black clothes in your closet and for a flashlight in your drawers.

With Jeongguk's voice in your ear you sneaked into the building, taking the stairs to get to the highest floor—to Taehyung's office. With the help of your skills from earlier tasks you searched for anything suspicious. Your fingers flew over the keyboard, your eyes scrutinized the documents in Taehyung's computer, your flashlight shone into the drawers of his desk, papers falling all around you.

Of course, you didn't manage to find anything illegal. Not a hint of him lying.

Just as you were about to tell Jeongguk you're ready to leave the place, he screamed in your ear making you jump. 'He's coming! Shit, how did I not notice it earlier?'

'Who's coming, Jeon?'

'Kim Taehyung! He'll be there soon, like real soon, you have ten seconds!'

That's why you ended up crouching under his desk and that's where he found you.

He asked for an explanation, and so you told him the truth. The doubts, the sleepless nights, the possibility of him not being truthful with you and, obviously, the fact that you realized all of that was utterly ridiculous.

To your pleasant surprise he just exhaled, shook his head, and then, in the most seductive of tones you've ever heard, he told you he'd have to punish you since 'you're such a bad girl, not trusting daddy.' Jeongguk took it as a cue to disconnect.

So here you were now, the side of your face pressed against the surface of Taehyung's desk, arms stretched out, fingers clutching the edge of it above your head, legs trembling and your whole body aching for release.

'What is it, baby girl?'

You could only whimper desperately in response as three of his fingers halted their merciless speed inside you. His other hand caressed the small of your back, black shirt pushed up to your bra.

'What do you want?'

It took immense effort to utter, 'Let me cum, please.' The voice sounded breathless, pathetic. You panted, he chuckled.

'Do you think you deserve it, mm?'

Probably not. Still you cried out a yes as his digits started their movements again. This time they were slow, so agonizingly slow. Slipping in and out. His palm turning up and down, his fingers massaging your walls in the most delicious of ways. Lewd, wet sounds filled the room. You thought you were going to pass out—your head was dizzy as though you floated somewhere above the mountains. Ah, fuck this weak attempt at poetry—your legs were quivering as though you'd just sprinted from one city to another with a serial killer following behind you; your arousal was dripping down your thighs as though you were storing a whole fucking ocean there. That's how Kim Taehyung made you feel. That's the effect he had on you.

He leaned down and whispered, 'I don't think you deserve it just yet.'

A strangled whine left your throat just as Taehyung's digits left your needy pussy.

'Get up,' he said, shoving a hand between your stomach and his desk.

He spun you around and damn he looked gorgeous. His pupils were dilated, fringe slightly damp with sweat and lip temptingly bitten as he levelled his wrist with your eyes. 'Do you see how desperate you are for me?'

His fingers, his wrist were glistening with your juices, your arousal trickling down his veiny forearm making your cheeks bloom in red and your tongue swipe across your lips. The sight was so delightfully sinful.

He tore the blouse off your body, along with your bra. He ogled you hungrily, gently squeezing one of your breasts.

Then he motioned you to lay on your back. You complied instantly. Of course, you did. The desire to finally bask in the breath-taking bliss that only he could bring you to was way too cosmic to ignore. You'd do anything he asked you to do.

Once you were on your back, he leaned down toward you, pressing his lips to your cheek and his palm to your core. 'I love how wet you get for me. So fucking ready for my cock.'

His filthy words set fire to the pit of your belly. You pushed yourself into his hand, seeking for some kind of relief; your hands came up to search for Taehyung's belt, which he did not appreciate at all.

'Uh-uh.' His palm was instantly drew away from your center to pin your wrists above your head. 'I didn't say you'd get it.'

You whined, yet another pathetic attempt to make him give in. It only made him smirk.

'I have something else planned for you, baby girl.' A wicked smile plastered his face, making you writhe beneath him in anticipation.

If he's going to bring you to the edge like this and then leave you hanging, though, he's going to regret it. It didn't even matter that you sort of earned this kind of ending yourself; you'd still think of ways to have your revenge on him.

Oh but it was something else that he had planned for you.

With one hand still clasped on your wrists, he grabbed the flashlight with the other one and flicked it on, pointing at your face. You got blinded for a second and fluttered your eyes closed. 'What're you doing?'

'Can you be a good girl for me?'

He turned off the flashlight, grazed the skin between your breasts with its edge. 'Mm? Answer me.'

His deep voice had never failed to send a wave of pleasure throughout your body. 'Y-yes, I'll be a good girl for you.'

He trapped his lip between his teeth, skimmed the flashlight across your stomach.

You were dazed, your skin hot with a sheen of sweat.

He too was affected. You saw his heaving chest. Inflating, deflating beneath his dress shirt. Whatever he had in his mind made his face flush in an alluring tint of pink. The sight of the evident bulge in his tight slacks elicited a soft moan from you.

Taehyung brought the flashlight to your left thigh, gliding it slowly, excruciatingly slowly toward your drenched folds. His dark eyes watched the flashlight collect your sticky arousal, and, when he pressed it against your entrance, a shiver of pleasure coursed through every eager cell of your quaking body.

He flicked the flashlight on again. 'Let's see just how ready you are.'

You licked your lips and gulped down a whimper, awaiting for the perfect stretch.

Your breath hitched, when he plunged the object into you. Your back arched at the blissful feeling, hands shifting around under Taehyung's firm hold.

'So desperate you'd take anything in.' He chuckled softly and thrusted the flashlight a few times, grazing your welcoming walls. Sonorous moans and whimpers filled the air around you. His dark eyes watching you and his skilful movements inflamed a certain pressure in the pit of your stomach making you squeeze your eyes shut.

'Be a good girl for daddy,' he murmured seductively, pushing the flashlight in deep, 'And hold it there for me.'

At that your eyes fluttered open. 'W-what?'

'Hold it there while I take care of something,' he said, then released your wrists and stepped away.

Taehyung plopped onto his desk chair as you were struggling to push yourself onto your elbows. You saw how wide his legs were spread, you felt how that prominent bulge was taunting you.

He reached for the phone on his desk while you murmured, 'This is so unfair.'

He simply smirked.

What the fuck is he doing?

He answered your inner questions by pressing a button and bringing the phone to his ear.

'I have a task for you,' he began, voice steady, unbothered with undertones of I'm-your-boss-so-you-better-listen-carefully, 'The cameras you installed two weeks ago, I want them changed. I want the whole security system changed.'

The need to snake your hand toward your throbbing clit was overwhelming. You clenched around the flashlight.

'Hire more guards. Release the contract with the current security company, find a new one.'

All you were thinking was that if he doesn't put the phone down right that second and fucks you into oblivion, you'll explode from the extreme desire and jump on him, ignoring his order to be a good girl.

You laid back down, averting your eyes, because damn the sight of Taehyung working—well, sort of—with a raging boner that you caused was just too much for your helpless body. It was getting warmer down there inside you by every passing second. The flashlight shone creating heat, awfully pleasurable heat.

'Taehyung, please,' you panted.

He brought his hand to your knee, squeezing it affectionately. 'You're doing so well,' he said, placing the phone down. 'Do you need to cum?'

'Yes!' Your exclamation made him chuckle yet again, but you couldn't care less. You just really, really needed to cum.

He dragged himself with the chair closer to you, pushing your thighs apart so he could situate his body between them. 'Such a good girl.'

He leaned down to place a kiss upon your pulsating clit. Your body shuddered in delight, hips coming up to chase his lips.

Everything else that happened after was like a blur. A blur of pure ecstasy, astounding pleasure and utter bliss. His experienced tongue moved against your clit in all the right ways. One hand caressed your thigh tenderly while the other was pumping the flashlight in and out of you until you were a moaning mess once again. His name resonated all around you countless of times. Your back arched. Your eyes shut tight.

A few more encouraging words from Taehyung and your mind went blank, your body felt weightless, blissful waves washing over you. Your thighs clamped around the man that brought you to such a heavenly state.

Once you had pushed Taehyung's head away because of the extreme sensitivity, he stood on his feet, leaning to whisper in your ear. 'I'll make sure that by the time I'm done with you, you'll be trusting daddy profoundly.'

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 28

A/N: Sorry about the wait. I made a new fanfic (btw if you like ATLA but think it needed more deadly airbending ninjas check out A Black Wind Howls) aaand then college started back up...

xoxoxo

I opened my eyes and deactivated my Quirks and skills, stepping on the perfectly generic object with one foot and jumping off a moment before it fully dissolved. "That was way smoother than it had any right to be," I muttered as I checked the time. About an hour had passed since I entered my mindscape. Huh. It felt like it was longer than that. Maybe time passes faster in the mindscape? I checked the text boxes that had popped up while I was meditating. It looked like the menus I'd tried to open when in my mindscape had opened in reality, for one... I closed them and looked at the ones that were left over.

Your WIS has increased by one! (x4)

Your DEX has increased by one!

Your CON has increased by one!

Shock Sphere (Active) LV1 EXP 1.49% MP 100

That was surprisingly good for an hour of meditation. Especially because neither of my stat boosts were set to WIS. I guess stumbling around in one's own mindscape is a great method of self-discovery. For one thing I decided I should probably stop raising All Might on such a high pedestal. Maybe I'd ask him if I could call him Yagi-sensei?

I shrugged. "I wish I could talk to the past bearers in the real world, though. They were really nice. Plus having seven seasoned heroes that I can ask for advice at any time would be really handy. Too bad I can't just invite them to my party." I thought about that for a minute. "Actually, can I do that?" I recited the party invitations and crossed my fingers. One by one they appeared in my party window and I opened up the voice chat.

"So is this how your party ability works?" Kaizen asked.

"Honestly I didn't think that would work," I said, "but I'm really glad it did."

"We're glad it worked too, kid!" Daigoro added.

I laughed. "Thanks! There are probably going to be times when I can't talk and have to use the text chat, and other times where I'll have to disband the party temporarily, but you guys don't mind keeping me company, do you?"

I heard Shimura chuckle. "I don't mind at all. And I'm sure the others don't either."

"I'd be glad to keep you company," Honenuki said.

"Better than playing another of Ichigo's stupid games," Hikiishi added.

"Hey!" Ichigo said indignantly.

"They are fun, but it does get old sometimes..." Sokolov muttered.

"Not you too!"

I laughed. This was going to be great.

xoxoxo

Bakugou Katsuki: youre real fuckin blase bout the voices in your head deku

Shigaraki Ichigo: To be fair we are actual people and we can only be voices in his head using his Quirk.

I'd decided that, because Kacchan already knew about One For All, I would tell him about the past bearers. I did it on the morning of the day that we were going back to Yuuei. He was surprised, but almost immediately shrugged and said, "You know what, this might as well fucking happen." Currently we were on the train to Yuuei.

Hikiishi Jiroku: if you think about it, we're like ghosts haunting your friend.

Bakugou Katsuki: oh like thats so much better

I saw a young girl with bright eyes staring at us out of the corner of my eye. "Mommy, it's the magic people!" she shouted to a woman next to her that I assumed was her mother.

"Don't bother them, Chi-chan," the woman said.

"Are you talking about us?" I asked the girl.

She gasped. There were stars in her eyes. Literally. "Yeah! I watched you guys on the sports festival! Your fight was awesome!"

Kacchan smirked at the girl. "You know it, kid."

She bounced on her feet. "Yeah! You guys were all like bam, pow, woosh!" The rest of the people on the train were starting to look at us. The girl pouted. "I wanna be a cool hero like you guys, but my Quirk is dumb..."

"I'm sure your Quirk is great!" I objected.

"All I can do is make my eyes glow."

"Well I mean for one thing you can probably use it to see in the dark." Kacchan said.

"That's the only way I can use it, though!"

"I wouldn't be too sure," I said. "Can you control how bright it is?"

She nodded. "It's hard, but if I try really hard I can make it as bright as a flashlight for a bit."

I put my hand on my chin. "I'd bet that even All Might would be thrown off if someone he was fighting randomly shined a flashlight in his eyes. And if you practice really hard you should be able to make them even brighter." I poked Kacchan. "Believe it or not, when his Quirk first came in all he could do was make little pops."

"Just make sure not to hurt yourself practicing," Kacchan reminded her. "Quirk strain is not fun. I mean, mine was probably a lot fu- a lot worse than yours would be because it's caused by explosions and not glowing, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful."

The girl nodded excitedly.

"And be careful in general," I said. "Hero work is dangerous. I suggest you learn martial arts or something like that if you really want to be a hero."

"Like you're one to fuc-" Kacchan caught himself before swearing. "Like you're one to talk, Deku."

"Fair enough. You should also try to learn some magic. It's a lot more versatile than Quirks, plus you can probably enhance your Quirk with magic." I winked. "Just be mindful of property damage."

She beamed at us. "Yeah! I will!"

Her mother smiled. "Thank you. She loves heroes."

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my head. "It's actually pretty flattering."

"Yeah, I got my first fan!" Kacchan said. He reached over to give the girl a high five. She looked really grateful, so I gave her a high five too.

"Thank you both sooo much!"

xoxoxo

"Damn, this is some heavy rain," Kacchan muttered from under his umbrella while we were walking to Yuuei.

"What bad luck, huh?" I said. I also had an umbrella, but at the same time the water was subtly avoiding me so I didn't even get slightly wet. Having so many elementals can be very convenient.

"What are you two doing, you're going to be late!" Iida shouted at us from behind. He was wearing a poncho and jogging.

"What the fuck are you doing, Glasses!?" Kacchan shouted. "This is not the fucking weather for a nice morning jog!"

"There is no wrong weather for a nice morning jog!" Iida shouted as he passed us.

We managed to catch up to him in the entrance hall. "I heard about your brother, Iida," Kacchan told him while he was putting his boots in his locker. "If you need to talk to someone about it... well you probably shouldn't talk to me, but I speak from experience when I say that Inui-sensei is very willing to help."

"Inui-sensei?" I inquired.

Kacchan grunted, blushing slightly. "Hound Dog," he muttered.

"I appreciate your words, but I don't need to talk about it," Iida said as he closed his locker door.

"Iida, it's okay to not be okay," I said. "It doesn't make you any less strong. Even All Might has his bad days."

"Thank you, Midoriya," Iida said as he started to walk away. "But I'm okay. I promise."

I frowned at his title.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

LV 36

Iida Tenya

"I'm gonna have to press X to doubt that one," I said after he was gone.

"Deku I know you have that whole gamer hero thing going on but that joke was so fucking terrible I think I'm legally obligated to give you a wedgie," Kacchan told me.

"Please don't."

xoxoxo

"I have a few announcements before today's business," Aizawa-sensei said, acting like normal and not at all mentioning the fact that he was wearing, with the exception of the same scarf and possibly the goggles hidden under it, an entirely new hero costume. He kept the original color scheme, but his outfit looked like it was inspired by a more close combat-oriented fantasy wizard that wouldn't look out of place in a JRPG at all, complete with a wizard hat and a collapsible bo staff holstered on his belt that Observe told me was made with an experimental design that let it more effectively channel magic. He was also clean-shaven for once, though he still had the dark bags under his eyes. It made that scar he got from the USJ incident stand out a little more.

"First," he pointed to Shinsou, who was standing awkwardly next to him, "we have a new student. Make him feel welcome or whatever. Now sit down, Shinsou. There's an empty seat behind Midoriya."

"Congratulations, Shinsou!" I told him with a smile when he sat down. "I knew you'd get in!"

"Thanks," he said, then looked at Aizawa-sensei. "Was he always wearing that weird martial artist wizard outfit?"

"No, that's new. Scarf's the same, though."

"I thought so."

"If you're all done talking," Aizawa-sensei said menacingly. "We're having a very important hero informatics lesson today." He grinned evilly. "Pay attention, because this could affect your entire hero career." A terrified murmur broke out in the classroom.

"This is not what I was hoping for my first day..." Shinsou muttered.

Kacchan, who was sitting in front of me, looked back at him. "Eh, don't worry. Aizawa-sensei's just a fucking drama queen like that. Watch, he's gonna say that this is just us picking our hero names." He pointed at Aizawa-sensei.

"You'll be picking code names today," he confirmed, as if on cue. The class cheered, causing him to glare at us with his Quirk activated. His hat floated slightly before he turned it back off. "This isn't just for fun. You'll be going on a work study soon, so naturally you'll be needing a hero name to go by. Are there any questions?"

Kaminari raised his hand. "Why are you wearing a wizard outfit?"

"Are there any questions about the work study?" Aizawa-sensei glared at him.

"Is there any reason behind the work study?" Shinsou asked.

"It's meant to give you guys hands-on experience with hero work. Also, more than a few of you have already gotten a lot of draft picks from hero organizations already. Usually those offers are given to second and third years, who are more experienced, but there have been several unique circumstances for your class." He pressed a button on his remote, bringing up a list on the smartboard. "These are the offers that were extended to 1-A."

"Oh wow," I thought. My name was on the top of the board and I had almost five thousand offers!

"Congrats, Midoriya!" Shimura shouted through the party chat.

"Yeah, that's something to be proud of, I'm assuming..." Ichigo added.

"Good job, kid," Hikiishi said.

I sniffed and wiped the tears off my face... and desk... I thanked them over the text chat and looked at the rest of the board. Kacchan was below me at a little over four thousand offers. Aoyama, Todoroki, and Uraraka were next below us at around two thousand each. Iida, Tokoyami, and Kaminari had offers in the hundreds. Sero, Yaoyorozu, and even Shinsou had a few too.

"Don't worry, those of you who didn't get any offers," Aizawa said. "There are hero organizations that work with Yuuei to give students who don't have any offers work studies. And as I said, usually only second and third years get offers. So I'm sure you'll get at least a few by next semester."

"And that's what the hero names are for!" Hagakure blurted out.

Aizawa nodded. "That's right. Technically you can change your hero name at any time, but once you start getting popular chances are the public is going to call you the same name even if you change your name, unless it's accompanied by serious rebranding or something like that."

"Oh, is that what the wizard outfit is for?" Ashido asked.

Aizawa glared at her for a prolonged period of time. "No. Comment. Because having a good hero name before you even debut is so important..."

Midnight-sensei strutted through the door and stood next to Aizawa. "Yuuei strongly encourages the teachers of the hero course to organize a workshop session for their students before their work studies so they don't call themselves something dumb like, oh, I don't know... Eraserhead?"

"Fuck you, Nemuri," Aizawa muttered, causing Midnight to wink and stick her tongue out at him. He sighed and pulled a folding chair and some small dry erase boards out from behind his podium. "Midnight here is going to make sure the names we pick are all right. The annoying thing with hero names is that whatever you pick tends to end up reflecting on your hero career, so choose carefully."

"Wait, are you picking out a hero name, too?" Kaminari asked.

Aizawa grunted and started handing out the dry erase boards. "Against my better judgement I decided, for multiple reasons actually, to adopt a more public hero persona," he explained.

"WHAAAT!?" almost the entire class shouted at once.

"Yeah, yeah. 'Course, I need a new name for it, and the timing lined up so I unfortunately had the 'brilliant' idea of participating in this exercise with you guys, for solidarity or whatever." When he was done with the dry erase boards he put his folding chair next to Uraraka and sat down. "So for the next however long, just think of me like a fellow student. Plus Ultra or whatever."

I uncapped my dry erase marker and stared at the board. What kind of hero did I want to be? What kind of name did I want to have? I had a flash of inspiration, but... I sent Kacchan a message with my Quirk. I wanted his opinion on it.

He turned back to me. "Really?" he asked. I nodded. "Well I can see where you're coming from with that," he shrugged. "If ya really want to, go for it."

I wrote down my idea and waited for everyone else to be done. Kacchan looked like he was having a bit of trouble, but shooed me off when I asked if he needed help.

"And now you'll be presenting your hero names, starting with who's done!" Midnight said after more than a few of my classmates had put down their markers. Nobody said anything, but the air tensed when she said that. "Of course you have to present them!" she said with a grin. "If you can't stand proud and present your name to your own peers, how are you going to stick to it in the face of the public?"

Okay that made me a little nervous, but I shook it off. I was about to volunteer myself for the first presentation, but Aoyama and Aizawa both stood up before I could.

"I shall go first!" Aoyama glittered as Aizawa muttered, "Let's get this over with."

Aizawa sighed. "After you, kid."

"Thank you, my wonderful teacher!" He strutted up to the podium and stylishly revealed the name he wrote on his board. "'Shining Hero: I Can Not Stop Twinkling!' That means that you can't stop my sparkles!" As he said that, literal sparkles bloomed into existence around him. Honestly that was about what I was expecting from him.

"I like it, buuut maybe take out the 'I' and shorten 'Can Not' to 'Can't?'" Midnight suggested.

"Yes! That's perfect, mademoiselle!" Aoyama beamed.

"That's a good name?" Shinsou snarked under his breath.

"I don't know," I said, "I think it's kind of a nice name."

"Because you're a fucking sap," Kacchan added.

I shrugged. "Maybe a little."

Aizawa sighed. "Well, I guess that means I'm next." He walked up to the podium unenthusiastically and lifted up his board. "Magician Hero: Grimalkin," he read, blushing slightly. He'd put a cute little cat paw print on the end where a period would be.

"Ah, like the witch's familiar from Macbeth!" Yaoyorozu said.

Aizawa nodded. "Yes, exactly."

"I love it!" Midnight shouted. "Cute, but still bold!"

"Thanks," Aizawa muttered as he walked away from the podium.

"Now, do we have any more volunteers?" Midnight asked.

Kacchan got up. "I might as well get this over with too." He presented his name. "The Explosion Hero: Grenadier."

"Excellent! It's simple, striking, and goes with your hero outfit's theme!" Midnight commented.

"Thanks, teach." Kacchan said. "I figured it'd be way better than my first idea."

"What would that be?"

"King Explosion Murder."

Midnight winced. "Yeah, Grenadier's a lot better. Next!"

Shinsou nodded and got up to the podium. "I'm afraid it might be a little dark, but... Control Hero: Mindjack."

Midnight nodded with a grin. "I can see your concerns, but it's perfectly fine. Better than King Explosion Murder, at least."

"You're welcome for the example, I guess," Kacchan grumbled.

"Now, who wants to go next?" Midnight asked.

I stood up. "I'd like to," I said. I walked up to the podium, took a deep breath, and showed the class my dry erase board. "The name I decided on is the Gamer Hero: Deku."

xoxoxo

A/N: The naming session went about the same as it did in canon from that point onward, just without Midoriya, Bakugou, and the grape.

Originally I was going to make this chapter longer but then I realized that ending the chapter on the first time the name of the fic is cool.

Elemental list: Midoriya: Halitus, Dune, Rayne, Blaise, Juniper, Mifuyu, Raimon, Iggy, Sonia, and Claude Bakugou: Pyra and Leaf Tokoyami: Corvo Uraraka: Nebula and Ion Hagakure: Lucy Tsu: Bubbles Aizawa: Charlie and Cassiopeia All Might: Seth O'Scope

[cleaduvalls]

i watched all 20 episodes of spy kids: mission critical in about a week and here are my thoughts (3/5)

1.9

i havent watched this in like 2 days i dont even remember what happened last time

why is everything in the desert the desert sucks

alsjhiajgdf i love tom kenny

listen i know hes like a superandroid or whatever but i really hope he and therese fall in love

wait hold up. i thought they already had midterms???? like the did that before scorpion went to her fashion shoot. AND they were kupkakkes midterms. whats up with this school

no drinking in class???? rude. let them hydrate

that seems imbalanced

aHh

thats only like 10

also that book is dummy thicc

its ok ace my nose whistles too

shut up carmen youre just jealous because shes pretty

there are no seasons its a desert

ok dude stop breathing so hard

he JUST said that

anywhere between an hour and umm... 11 months

you put it on one page why are all the pages back

me but with physics

thats literally the best line in the whole series

juni how do you not know that you were at a safe H O U S E

theyve been gone for like 2 hours are they not allowed to study?????

what even is AWOL???

absent without leave. neat

talon gives off some big draco energy

tick tock???? how dare you

slkdhfa she called sir awesome honey shes such a mom

dont make it obvious

oh look they made it obvious

roll credits

i was in cleveland when i watched this episode - well actually i left that day - and i was s h o o k e t h

also hes right. no spy would be in cleveland. theres 3 buildings

oh me too

right bc shes the only “I.A.”

ew

eW

this isnt HARRY POTTER. or maybe it is. talon is a hardcore draco

oh right bc swearing is for Men™

update tumblr decided to break AGAIN (im boutta cry btw) so we lost about 5 minutes from the end of 1.9 and 7 from the beginning of 1.10

1.10

its a DOORBELL do they not have those in the outback steakhouse

lots of people. doofenshmirtz, other people who i cant think of right now, etc

???? no it wont????

did your troop leader not give you The Talk??? you NEVER go in the customers house

ace no. youre allowed to not buy treats

theres a triforce on her vest, too

shes just gonna go to another house yall. shell be f i n e

oh my God shes holding hands with mauly im gonna c r y

yeah its called saliva

nope only scorpion lives in a castle

stop bringing up spy sense and tell him you saw her glare at you

HES ALLOWED TO LIKE FOOD

how do you know that he doesnt have his phone if YOU dont know where it is and HE cant tell you

i love how she says "floor. ceiling. more thumb"

haha i found the birth of venus

oh and the creation of adam

hes like squidward, which would make sense bc goldies voiced by tom kenny who voices spongebob

"sebastian oliver" "shadow operative" S.O. nice

why do you have a trailblazers badge. youre 4. i didnt get one til i was a cadette

also sebastian???? isnt that the toymakers first name????? you cant have 2 sebastians

also why do you have braces. youre still 4

"SIR MEANIE FACE" IF SOMEONE SAID THAT TO ME ID BE D E V A S T A T E D

SCORPION LET HER CRY SHES F O U R

so really, spy sense DID help

oooooh, sentry duty, thats gotta hurt

WHAT THE H E C K YOURE F O U R

she looks like frickin plushtrap

aCE NO YOURW GONNA D I E

oh trust me they hurt me more than you know

dude theyre so thin youre f i n e

eh, still worked

clicking her teeth together so hard must H U R T

i think she can get out of there. also shes concussed now

why was that so quiet. why did it get louder

thats not a y shape

no, they spy kids

oh shiitake mushrooms thats what THEY said

whenever they say pinnoquinoxx i always think of pinnochio

ahdhhsjak i miss pizza parties 😔

well now we ALL expect it

also, no one????? pick a cooler code name. your regular name was cool and now youve ruined it

2.1

oh theres finally a skip intro option. im not taking it

stop saying that its weird

EWWWWWW CRUSTY THATS SO G R O S S

haha shes shopping w the goon. love that

oh yeah i didnt get to tell yall yet but i absolutely h a t e gablet

a lot of people, juni

listen i know a jt (but he doesnt go by jt) and uhhhhhhh were not gonna go there

why are you happy. what about second semester makes you so happy

boi thats a tardis

the design on his hoverboard looks like the aperture science logo

i paused to read the Floops label and it says "fried corn and sugar loop shaped breakfast substitute, net wt. 13 oz" ITS NOT EVEN A CEREAL ITS A BREAKFAST SUBSTITUTE IM C R Y I N G

listen i know hes technically scorpions dad but i dont think he can legally be in the dorm rooms

aww, thats sweet

i dont think gablet has an attached printer

gablet always sounds like shes mocking people

oh dear God its dolores umbridge

haha nerd

awesome no im gonna die

whenever carmen yells she sounds like link

ok so i didnt find a reason why she sounds like link but i DID find that theyre making a wherea waldo tv series so uhhhh thats fun

why does the cat have a bandaid

GABLET S T O P

OH!!!!!! ON THE WALL!!!!!!! ITS THE TUMBLR POST WITH THE FORK AND KNIFE ETIQUETTE PICTURE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!!

oh no fart jokes

its even the basic fart sound effect

BAHAHAH MY PHONE VIBRATED AT THE SAME TIME HE FARTED THAT WAS WEIRD

oh no i hate him

stop SLURPING

uh yeah???? you heard them yelling about it

how??? does that work??? you cant just like catch electricity in a cup.... can you???? i havent studied it since 4th grade

oh worm??

goldies such a boomer

worm??

psi shouldnt be at the drawing board right now. he also shouldnt be confused

what happened to the lasers

wait nvm we havent gotten to that episode yet

ace is valid, dark is Scary

im gonna punch gablet in the face

that doesnt sound realistic

do you not have stairs??????

dont you mean inside AND out??

that flashlight did NOTHING

how did it die so fast?????

who else would you be talking to??

isnt that bowser from the mario movie we dont speak of??

i havent gotten a chance to tell yall but i absolutely love clemp. hes such a mood

hes the greatest spy

does it use a mini transmooker???? ig it doesnt bc gablet works but thatd be lit

SEE SHES IMMORTAL

me when i see something interesting

ME WHEN IM NOT ON MY PHONE

i dont think you can legally say that

you killed her

me

wow nice promo

also just???? bring a charger????? like youre the tech girl why do you not have one at all times

how?????? did you go so fast

machete electric bubbles??? nice

just task manager him

mother of all boards sounds like it could be a cuss...mother of all fuckers

also throwback to 1.7 when she says "his ai firewalled his motherboard" i keep expecting her to say "his ai firewalled this motherfucker"

yes i said keep ive watched that episode too many times to count

worm??

why did you giggle and make a flirty pose. are yall supposed to get together???

did you????? kill him????????? holy shit

2.2

thats what my dad does. he loves hospital corners

idc what it is you have a bazooka

ok if it was a spider id get it, australia has some deadly ones, but does it have deadly ants too???? like is that a Thing????

also ants in your room are gross

was that just a cameo??? i dont remember what happens in this one

haha because he said grapevines and wine has dregs and wine is made of grapes

for the boys??? thats so cute

listen idc how evil you are EVERYONE should cry over otters

so one of the parents has a sister or sister in law named roxanna..... hmmm.......

if you dont use your turn signal h*ck u

hes gonna D I E

i just looked at my shoe and i think theres blood on it???? what the h*ck

suspicious??? about.... what???? having fears???? not being perfect?????

juni that was awful wording

JUNI WHAT DID YOU D O TO HIM

like i know what he DID but the way it plays out makes it seem like something significant

i thought his name was heavy meddle not.... deth metal???? thats how the subtitles spell it

hahah me

he sounds like bling bling boy

yeah ik im a fool thanks for reminding me

what are you gonna do??? kill juni????

POOR WORD CHOICE JUNI

oh he gives exactly 0 h*cks

a shoe doesnt make that sound

crack bugs?????

see thats why you dont mess with things

im a god among boys??????? what????

did you... kill them????????????

thats any australian person

theyre so stupid i love them

good i hate her

i thought the gunk just like... disappeared from the guitar but actually it shot off

he died... 😔

uhh.... yeah????? was it not obvious?????

me when i have 5 dollars

[many-gay-magpies]

i think i ran out of popcorn around the point of vampire homoeroticism but MAN did i enjoy the ride ! no wait bc that thing abt pregnant mothers makes so much sense to me and HOLD ON HOLD ON. WHAT IF. OKAY IM JUST MAKING SHIT UP BUT IT MAKES SENSE TO ME. WHAT IF THE TARGET OF THE EXPERIMENTS ON THE MOTHERS WAS TO PRODUCE SUPERPOWERED CHILDREN. LIKE THE SUPERPOWER GENE WAS WHAT THEY WERE TRYING TO GET. AND THE ONLY BABIES THAT SURVIVED TO TERM WERE THE BOYS AND SOOHA. THEY COULD HAVE THAT BACKSTORY OF PLAYING TOGETHER AS A PRINCESS AND KNIGHTS (which is Adorable btw i love it), BUT THEN WHEN THE ORGANIZATION COMES TO KIDNAP THE CHILDREN SOOHA'S MOM WAS ABLE TO PROTECT HER. in the orphanage, they're trying to observe the effects of these powers on human bodies— let's say that most humans cant survive with those powers for long, and they want a way to make the gene last in the boys' bodies for as long as possible. so they give them the pills shown in given-taken to make them vampires, immortally superpowered and therefore eternal test subjects. i really like the idea of them having to consume vampire blood to be turned— that is actually a requirement in some vampire stories. i feel like those scenes of them taking pills, getting sick/convulsing/checking their mouths with flashlights imply that they weren't Like That before. this is new, and they dont know what's going on. and once the boys realize that they've been turned into LITERAL MONSTERS by the orphanage that claimed to "protect them," the freak the FUCK OUT and decide. this place is going Down. they may be new vampires but jino's been pyrokinetic his whole damn life and he will Use it. okay i will address the rest of your response in a separate ask because my brain RAN with this

-vrvr anon

im glad you enjoyed it! i dont have any more new or unsaid ideas to tell you about so i doubt ill get THAT long again (but its me so you never know), but it was very fun to dump all of that out!!

:O DUDE YEAH THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE-- the pregnant mothers were experimented on, then they were set LOOSE to go have their babies in "peace", or at least the organization claimed... but they were always watching from afar... and then when the kids got to be old enough, the organization came to collect them, telling the mothers that they'd discovered the experiments had harmful effects and they needed to continue their research. and maybe sooha's mom protected her by pretending that the powers had ALREADY KILLED her daughter, getting sooha and the other boys to play along with it—maybe she pretends to be all mad at the organization because "your stupid experiments KILLED MY BABY i want nothing to do with you" when in reality she could sense the orphanage coming and sent sooha to hide out a few towns over with her sister or something.

AND THEN THE ORGANIZATION MAKING THE BOYS VAMPIRES SO THAT THEIR BODIES COULD NEVER BE KILLED BY THE POWERS I. OMG YES. HOLY SHIT. and god now im just thinking about the effects the superpowered genes might have on NORMAL bodies... the superstrength, even though it's the most MINOR power, tearing up a user's bones and muscles and making their bodies age and get weak so faster... the pyrpokinesis liTERALLY BURNING THEM FROM THE INSIDE OUT... anti-gravity messing with their balance and brain functions and the way they perceive the world... superspeed just scrambling ALL sorts of shit... telepathy screwing with brain function/causing brain damage/mental health issues... the organization's experiments worked, the superpower gene was a success, but the human body was never made to contain such unimaginable power. the solution? make them inhuman. and OH SHIT maybe whatever solon's power is was so goddamn powerful and harmful to his body that they had to double it and turn him into a werewolf too—but in the process they also accidentally locked away or repressed whatever that power WAS.

(with that in mind though, how would sooha go her whole life with the power and be perfectly fine? maybe she falls ill a lot, or maybe the side-effects set in much later, or maybe girls are just built different and the organization experimented on mostly male fetuses because sexism. kind of like how landscaping companies only plant male trees and end up causing a shitton of allergies because of their stupid fucking tree sexism. idk, ill work on that one.)

and now im also thinking about how the whole amnesia storyline would go... the boys don't remember anything from before they came to the orphanage, right? well maybe, to avoid past attachments interfering with their work, the organization wiped their memories of anything pre-orphanage—names, families, EVERYTHING. they pick new names to replace the ones they never knew they had. as far as the boys know, theyre just a bunch of orphans taken in by the kind-hearted orphanage. and, well, maybe, the superpowered genes have OTHER physical side-effects too that set in slowly as they age... like bright, colorful hair and unnaturally colored eyes... and those side effects hadn't appeared yet or were only just beginning to manifest before the orphanage took them. not to mention, sooha was so YOUNG when they got taken away, her memories of them would be muddied and unclear anyway—throw different names and perfectly normal hair and eye colors into the mix and its easy to believe she wouldnt have a clue who they are when she meets them again.

no that would make so much sense tho—the boys have had these powers all their lives, they're used to them, even if they dont REMEMBER having them before the orphanage necessarily their bodies still have the muscle memory. so when they figure out that the orphanage turned them into LITERAL BLOOD-SUCKING VAMPIRES just to have eternal test subjects/superpowered soldiers... they go "nah fuck this im out" and burn that fucker down. i realize i sort of just parroted your entire last point back to you in your own words but i want to emphasize that i strongly agree

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/omg-supernatural-advanced-thantology-sent-lynn-edge/

OMG 'Supernatural' Advanced Thantology sent our Lynn over the edge

I was once again at a convention for last week’s Supernatural episode, so that meant trying frantically to set up the "Family Don’t End With Blood" vendor table (which you can get here if you've not picked up your copy yet) and then running upstairs to borrow a friend’s hotel room to watch the episode. But this time, the hotel actually had the CW – yay!! So I was sitting perched on my friend’s bed watching all by myself, which didn’t stop me from making a lot of noise at times. Sorry, neighboring hotel rooms! ‘Advanced Thanatology’ is an unusual title for an episode, so I wasn’t sure what to expect from this one. Season 13 has been making me pretty happy so far, which means I now go into every episode with all my fingers and toes crossed because I desperately want them to keep the quality up. It’s nervewracking to be a fangirl, what can I say? This episode was written by one of the newer writers, Steve Yockey. And guess what? My finger and toe crossing worked! This is the fifth episode of the season and the fifth one I liked. Woohoo! We start with an unusually long opening sequence, in which a few foolish kids play out the horror film genre stereotype of ‘never do this unless you want to die’ behaviors. It was scary as hell, so I appreciated that, even though I admit that part way through I started mumbling ‘where are Sam and Dean, come on!’ I know, spoiled Supernatural fan. I just want my boys! The actor playing Shawn, Seth Isaac Johnson, did an amazing job portraying his character’s terror though – and Alisen Down as his mom totally broke my heart. Someday I really am gonna send a gigantic fruit basket to Supernatural’s casting agency, because not only are the regulars incredible, most of the guest cast is too! The mom and son pair who were this week’s side characters served as the emotional push for Dean’s building sense of failure to go over the edge, because they portrayed fear and grief and loss so vividly. Shawn initially escapes, but he makes the other stereotypical horror film mistake of bringing home one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen – a plague mask from the haunted house of a deceased demented doctor. I was honestly afraid I’d have nightmares that night! Kudos props department, kudos. Meanwhile, once we do move into the Sam and Dean portion of the episode, I’m once again deliriously happy – because Sam and Dean are still talking! And talking about emotional things! And being emotionally savvy and considerate of each other!  Once again, I have the relationship between the brothers that I signed up for loud and clear on my television screen, and that makes me one very happy fangirl. It’s clear that something is up with Sam from the first scene – he brings Dean a beer to have with his breakfast PBJ. Weirdly, Dean says “no, I’m good” and as Sam continues to be kind and considerate, Dean finally demands to know what’s going on with his brother. (Though actually, Sam is often kind and considerate, he’s just not usually so overt about it). Sam suggests that they work a case, “just you and me.” He notes that it’s been a while since they’ve done that, which induced me to start yelling “Yes yes yes!” at the hotel television probably too loudly. They leave Jack behind watching Sam’s fantasy DVD collection, and Dean rallies to some of his more Dean-like behavior by questioning how Sam ever got laid. (Which made me smile just thinking about how many fans were watching and thinking just the opposite about Sam’s geekboy side, btw…) So Sam and Dean put on their fed suits, climb into the Impala and head off to try to save some kids. Iconic Supernatural, and happy fangirl. The scene where Dean goes upstairs to talk to the traumatized Shawn was reminiscent of one of my favorite early season episodes, Dead In The Water. Lucas could also only draw what he’d seen, too traumatized to talk. That episode showed us the depths of Dean’s empathy for people who have been traumatized, especially children, and the depths of his own childhood trauma losing his mother in the fire. It was incredibly touching to see how Dean talked with Lucas, getting down on his level and sharing some of his own past in a willingness to be vulnerable that we hadn’t seen much of before. In this episode, Dean tries again, similarly empathic towards Shawn. You can see that Shawn senses it and wants to open up, but he’s too terrified, drawing that horrible mask over and over and over. We always learn a lot about Dean in those moments too. Dean: I know what it’s like to see monsters…you see them in your dreams. Oh, Dean. He’s the poster boy for PTSD but just keeps shouldering on, same as Sam. The boys leave without much success, which doesn’t help Dean with his increasing depression and sense of failure. Sam, in keeping with his determination to try to make his brother feel better by whatever means necessary, suggests they go to a strip club. Dean (and me) are sort of incredulous, and he reminds Sam that the last time Dean bought him a lap dance, Sam used the time to try to convince the young woman to go to nursing school. Sam sheepishly protests that of course he likes strip clubs, but Dean doesn’t seem to be buying it. (Also, it’s called the Clam Diver? You really went there, Show!) Sam: It got great reviews! I love you, Sam Winchester. Dean finally confronts Sam about why he’s doing all this for Dean – letting him be Agent Page, ordering him chili fries… (Awww, Sammy, you’re the best brother ever) Sam: I’m just trying to be nice. Dean: Why? Sam: You know why. And Dean does. See, that’s what I’m loving so much about this season – the show has remembered that the brothers know each other. Like, really know each other. They’ve grown up together and worked together most of their adult lives too; they’re both family and partners. They get each other. Sometimes Show forgets that, which makes me a cranky fangirl. But not this season! Sam points out that Dean is not fine, that he doesn’t believe in anything at this point, and that is not Dean Winchester. Sam: I just wanna help. Dean insists he’ll fight his way back, that he’s done it before. With bullets, bacon, and booze. Lots of booze. Sam (and all of us) are skeptical. Meanwhile, Show breaks my heart with another scene between Shawn and his mother. She runs in when he has a nightmare and soothes him, and he manages to say “okay” when she tells him to go back to sleep. You can see what that means to her, the sudden flare of relief and hope and so much love – her baby is getting better.  Again, Alisen Down did an amazing job. But then, she tells Sam and Dean, when the house got suddenly cold (NOOOOOOOO I screamed at the tv), she came in to his room to close a window, and he was gone. You can see that Dean is almost as devastated as the mom, that sense of failure burgeoning. Dean: I shoulda pushed him harder to talk. Oh, Dean. This is really not what you needed right now. Next thing we know, it’s morning and Sam Winchester is waking up – and looking ridiculously hot. Sorry, shallow I know, but woah. Rumpled with a bit of bed head and clad only in a tee shirt Sam Winchester is just plain hot. Either they went to the strip club and Sam came back early or Dean went alone, but there he is passed out on the floor snoring away – Jensen Ackles’ comedy genius and willingness to make himself look silly very much in evidence – still in his fed suit, disheveled with a pink bra tangled around his neck, his tie as a headband and what is that draped across his face? The imagination runs wild. Mine does, anyway. Longsuffering Sam takes the keys and leaves Dean to sleep it off, and is able to convince Shawn’s friend to tell them where the boys were that fateful night. (Yes, we not only get kind Sam and hot Sam in this episode, we also get smart Sam!) When he comes back, Dean is awake (sort of) and happily piling on bacon from the free buffet. Which is totally what I do with free hotel buffets, just saying. I pause for a few minutes to ponder just how someone who’s hungover and rumpled and wearing sunglasses inside can look so UNBELIEVABLY HOT. I mean, seriously? More Ackles’ comedy chops as Dean consumes lots of bacon, some of it falling out of his mouth. The face he makes when he looks around to see if anyone noticed before eating it anyway is priceless. I wonder if that was scripted or an Ackles ad lib. My guess is the latter. Sam at first questions what Dean is doing, and Dean grumbles ‘What happened to being nice to me?’ Sam pulls out a beer, and Dean immediately softens. Dean: You are forgiven. The Winchesters go to investigate the deceased demented doc’s very scary old deserted house, which means we get gorgeous flashlight-lit scenes by the brilliant Serge Ladouceur. Once again, this episode got really scary really fast – the doctor appears behind Sam, tosses both the boys across the room, and then approaches a trapped Dean with an electric drill pointed right at his face. I legit screamed at the top of my lungs in the hotel room because OMG was that a terrifying scene, filmed brilliantly. AAAAHHHH!!! Sam to the rescue (add heroic Sam to the list), temporarily vanquishing the ghost and then giving his brother a hand up. It’s those little moments that illustrate their relationship, Sam’s need to make sure Dean is okay and Dean’s quiet thanks. (Thank you, Steve Yockey, for that). I was totally squicked by the row of masks they find in the doctor’s former operating room and couldn’t wait for the boys to burn them. They’re able to get rid of the ghost (with great visual and sound effects from the VFX wizards), and I look at my clock and think huh, it’s way too early for it to be that easy. Uh oh. Sure enough, it turns out the house is full of ghosts – of all the people the doctor killed. Dean, now pushed way too far by his perceived inability to save anyone at all, is desperate to save these trapped spirits. He pulls out a small kit (from the same doctor who helped him kill himself temporarily in Appointment in Samarra, according to the Superwiki, with kudos to the continuity folks) and says he’ll go to the other side and find out where the bodies are. Sam (and me) are understandably shocked. Sam: No no no no, Dean, you’re talking about killing yourself! Dean’s depression (with a generous dose of unwarranted self-loathing) have put him in a very desperate place because he impulsively jams the needle into his chest and immediately seizes up in pain. Poor Sam, totally against the plan, nevertheless grabs his brother and soothes him through the death, holding him as he falls to the floor. (Because that’s exactly what Sam would do, and thank you again Mr. Yockey for knowing that!) Jared did an amazing job in this scene, conveying Sam’s barely contained terror that something will go wrong and he won’t be able to bring his brother back as well as his unbelievable courage in forcing himself to wait the three minutes that Dean asked for. I felt for him so much as he lined Dean’s body with salt to protect him while he’s defenseless, then sat over him vigilant and so horribly anxious, needle poised over Dean’s chest. He pats Dean repeatedly, reassurance for both of them that he’ll be okay. That must have been the longest three minutes of Sam Winchester’s life, and Jared shows us all of that. He also shows us Sam’s anger at his brother for taking this ridiculous risk, which would have to be there too. Sam: (leaning over Dean’s body) Stupid! For sure. Meanwhile, Dean ignores his reaper (as he often does) and finally finds Shawn – and realizes that he is indeed dead. You can see what that knowledge does to Dean, how it amps up his sense of failure even more. Even this kid he couldn’t save. Dean: I’m so sorry. As the three minutes comes to a close, Dean finds what he needs to know and returns to Sam and his body on the floor. Sam stabs the needle in and then waits – but there’s no response. Here’s where Jared really killed me, because it was like Mystery Spot all over again – and it had to be like that for Sam too. Sam: (desperately) Dean! Hey, Dean! Wake up! No no no…. nononononono! My heart absolutely broke for Sam. I think I had to grab some of the hotel tissues, in fact. I wish I hadn’t known that Lisa Berry was coming back, because the reveal that Billie is now Death would have been so amazing. Even spoiled, it was an incredible scene – Lisa pulls off the gravity of being Death perfectly, an imposing figure with her long leather coat and her ring and that scythe. She’s both gorgeous and terrifying. The entire scene between Dean and Billie was off the charts amazing. Lisa and Jensen have the same sort of chemistry that Jensen also has with Julian Richings, the original Death on Supernatural – he always looks torn between being in awe and wanting to be a smartass. And Death always looks torn between wanting to quash this brash human and being reluctantly fascinated (and maybe a little admiring) of him. All of that came through between Lisa and Jensen too. When Billie asks what Dean wants in exchange for some intel about the rift between universes, she’s clearly shocked that instead of asking to go back to his life, he asks for her to free the ghosts. At that moment, he cares so little for his own life and feels like such a failure, all he can think about is to save those poor people. Billie recognizes how significant this is right away. Billie: You’ve changed. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You tell people you’ll work through it, but you know you won’t. You can’t. Boy, did she ever hit the nail on the head. I guess that’s the perceptiveness that comes from having a literally universal view on – well, on the universe. Dean doesn’t dispute her take on him either. There’s just no fight left in him, and it terrifies me. Dean: It doesn’t matter. I don’t matter. I couldn’t save mom; I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared kid. Sam tries to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down… Billie: You want to die. Dean looks so vulnerable, looking up at Billie, lips parted, eyes blinking. There’s so much emotion there that he’s fighting back and he looks so lost. Billie: I see you, and your brother. You’re important. You have work to do. I was so riveted I was barely breathing through the entire scene. All the kudos to Lisa Berry and Jensen Ackles, because woah. And to writer Steve Yockey for putting in that call back to one of the most iconic lines in the show – it defines the show. We got work to do. And it’s still true, more than twelve years later. (Oh, and how thrilled was I to hear that one of the way Dean Winchester possibly died was ‘burned by a red haired witch’?? Rowena mention, yay!) Billie snaps Dean back into his body, and he wakes up to a desperate Sam still trying to revive him. Sam: You okay??? Dean: (trying to catch his breath) Yeah… Sam: (reassuring himself) You’re okay. He has to repeat it in order to believe it, after what must have been a horrible scare. The brothers lean against the Impala as the ambulances take the bodies out of the house and dig up the ones that were buried. My heart breaks again when they bring out Shawn’s body and his mother says goodbye, cradling her son’s face between her hands and looking utterly devastated. I needed to grab tissues again – it was actually hard to watch, it was so poignant. Of course, it hits the Winchesters just as hard. Sam asks Dean what happened back there, why the shot didn’t work, why the ghosts are all gone. At first, Dean tries to avoid talking about it, the way he most certainly would have last season. But this is Season 13 – and this is what I love about Season 13. Sam doesn’t leave it! Dean: We’ll talk about it later. Sam: No we won’t! You know that. I actually screamed out loud in my hotel room: That’s right Sam, you know you won’t!! And then they DID! Sam: You okay? Dean: No. Sam I'm not okay, I'm pretty far from okay. You know, my whole life, I always believed that what we do was important. No matter what the cost, no matter who we lost. Whether it was Dad or Bobby or... and I would take the hit. But I kept on fighting because I believed that we were making the world a better place. And now Mom… and Cas and I -- I don't know. I don't know. Sam: So you don't believe anymore. Dean: I just need a win. I just need a damn win. The boys climb into the Impala, and an awesome song by Steppenwolf begins to play, reminding us that “it’s never too late to start all over again, who says you won’t be back again.” Sam dozes, Dean drives, a scene so iconic to Supernatural it made me tear up. And then the phone rings. You can see on Dean’s face the shock of what he’s heard, and then they’re parking in an alley (a glowing cross prominently displayed) and at the phone booth? Is Castiel. He turns around, and we see Dean’s look of shocked disbelief – and maybe a bit of hope. I was so worn out from all the emotions I wanted to just collapse onto a hotel bed that wasn’t even mine, but instead, I hurried out into the hallway to get back to the vendor room. Multiple hotel room doors opened at the same time, and Supernatural fans spilled out into the hall, everyone going OMG OMG OMG. It was a moment. So we’re pretty much five for five, Show. Let’s keep this winning streak going. The Supernatural 1306 Tombstone trailer is above to check out. Check Our Our 2017 Holiday Gift Guides: [abcf-grid-gallery-custom-links id="50643"]

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[tinnefoil]

Supergirl 2x18

- That was kind of the most underwhelming explosion ever, considering that, you know, killed a person next to Kara. I was expecting that whistleblower to reveal that he’s an alien when he said that Kara was the only reporter he could trust. 

- The nanobot CGI was really terrible and that detracted a lot from the effectiveness of the episode. (though I did like the nanobots turning to ice scene)

- I really, really liked James in this episode. 

- I’m not convinced that Lyra isn’t supposed to be parallel to Mon-El in this episode, you know, wants to help, fails terribly because she doesn’t know the rules. Not sure where they are going with this, but the parallels are there and what to make of her freakout. At first I thought maybe it was gonna be a parallel with maybe forgiving too quickly together with Jack, but then of course Jack turned out to be a nice guy and Lyra doesn’t seem to have any agendas. 

- My favorite emotional moments of the episode were actually 1.) Winn telling Lyra that she’s off the team, mostly because he totally sounds like he was trying to decide between his boyfriend and his girlfriend and 2.) Kara and Snapper at the end. I liked the “shenanigans” moment of Mon-El for the funny factor (but generally, I thought he talked a bit too much during the mission, for my personal tastes [not as in, that was actually a tactical problem], though I did laugh at the flashlight moment) 

- I guess Lena having to decide for good even though it harms Jack was also pretty good, as was her moment of “I’m a Luthor” being used to mean something positive to her, but again, the terrible nanobot CGI hurt that storyline a lot. Lena giggling at Jack was pretty cute. BTW, that was the Rahul instagramm picture that Lena is looking at when she looks at old pictures of her and Jack, right. Wait, so Lena used to throw microscopes at her boyfriend?  I thought some of the earlier scenes of Lena and Jack felt very real. And Lena being almost “shutup” when Kara and Mon-El were interrupting his big love confession was pretty funny. Their kiss looked hotter in the preview though. 

- Why on earth can Rhea “human” that well? (also, zomg, she looks great in earth clothes) Where on earth is she getting her information like about Jack and about who to talk to. I like how she is right there to immediately zero in on preying on people’s emotion (like in that scene where she tries to guilt trip Kara into making Mon-El leave earth because responsibility). BTW, why to actually put this “deal” into the episode summary and give backstory to it in the “last time on Supergirl” and then tell us nothing about what the deal is supposed to be about. 

- I don’t think that they will do Lena going dark this season. I think that scene where she talks to Kara about her emotions was just to once more dangle the idea that she might go dark in front of the viewers, to get them speculating, but she’ll actually do the usual with Rhea, play along to see where it’s going, but not actually mean it/turn the information in to the good guys at the right moment. 

- I really missed Maggie. 

- Wait, so Kara got real proof on the story, but is it just me or did Snapper do the real figuring out in regards to Beth Breen.

[bandofholyjoy-blog]

IT GETS LOCKED UP IN YOUR CHEST: MICHAEL BRANDON IN HAITI... Things get locked in your chest. Your chest-corporeal, I mean. You can be as stalwart as you wish, but things……get locked…. in your chest. Part One:   “What The Hell - Where Am I?” Forget that there was no ceiling over the majority of the house, yes, that is correct, no roofing. The impact was particularly “lofty," in that huge, arena-esque space ; a baby bird’s mouth at spit-feed time, indeed, the "living room.” We had mango trees where most homes had bookcases. They rose up and up, practically touching the stars, in my ripe, 11-year old imagination. Forget the (massive) mosquito nets , compulsory to sleep under (you best believe: Malaria and "This-or That”, killer fever). Forget the adult-male-hand-sized tarantulas, and how they’d drop on my fucking head, in that "Uniball Signo-207-level,” inky-blackness... of the country’s foul, microwave nights. Forget the omnipresent, after-dark-bats, or the violent chickens (yes) that would “entertain”, on random, possessed evenings. All of the unwanted guests, they had an oceanic entrance, and then some, through aforementioned, ‘negative-roofing.” I recall my mother, with broom-as-rapier, beating back those truculent, pecking , rabid-assed chickens. They behaved like They were, but I’ve never heard of rabies-infected fowl. WTF =  indeed. WTF was in the feed? Forget it all. Forget that I’m in Port-au-Prince, and it is 1977. From Park Avenue to Haiti ; I can envision the Off-Broadway, musical tragicomedy. “Why Mommy, Whhhhhy?” would  be the opening number. The Backdrop of glimmering, rubbish-free Park Avenue  sidewalks would be crumpled by a drop sheet festooning over the previous one ; the new background, blaring sunshine, highlighting makeshift huts, skeletal dogs and cats, and a woman encumbered or emboldened…via eight, weaved baskets (of varying size and weight) atop the crown of her head. “Ha," indeed. All traces of levity now-removed, as I type the name:  “Baby" Doc Duvalier. Forget the sight of him. The sight of a pinguid, nasty, ever-smirking menace, as he pierced the open sunroof of a too-long limousine ; all that was missing was a hood decal of the reaper. Forget that feculent beast, hurling coins to armless / legless children. I’m talking about kids that were my age and (much) younger. The sight of the children, literally tearing each other apart for a meagre allotment of coins... Let’s forget it. These were the same children, I’d consistently gift my sneakers, shirts, pants( everything) to. I’d walk home through those  seemingly endless, sugar cane fields, “home”….back to the haunted house, only to be greeted by mother-irate. To be fair, my mom was "half-irate.” It only pissed her off that she’d have to order me more clothes from the U.S.A . An overtly-charitable nature , innate. I’m serious. Was this a somatic mutation, only, in behavioral format? I was this way from birth. It can be grotesque, the kill-with-kindness shtick. I assure you, I have no freaking idea - why. WhyI’ve been this way. I do not choose this bizarre, saintly shit , do I? You will pay the price for kindness. Oh man, will you pay ; you'll even be despised for it. “You’d feed a starving dog and let yourself die.” My mother used to say that to me, and often. Would I? Hell if I know the answer to that question. I hope the answer is: “no way." I’d defend my recurring actions. "They were missing limbs!” t’was my clarion wail. My plea for the: "amputated-for-god-knows-why…” kids. I still do not know why so many were limbless. I’m assuming, petty transgressions (food theft?) ; these beautiful, still-smiling children, ever-clamouring for my clothing and shoes. Damn. Now I’m reminded to forget my truancy. The headmistress of the (country’s best) “Creole / American” school, admonishing my mother: “your child is  too intelligent to attend. Our school is shit. I advise you to stay away." OH! Let us also forget the omnipresent heat,it’s own universe of hatred and scorn…. a heat so pernicious, it incinerated my (American) comic books, literally, to ash. Forget that we’re in Haiti before the term ‘“Sweatshop” was fashionable. In all fairness….My mother has always, always treated anyone, anyone who has worked for her, like bordeline-royalty. She took care of every last person, and still does today. There is no one quite like her…for all the …Wait. Let me not lose focus (snicker!) Mike Brandon, lose focus? Remember. I am trying to forget. Forget my cat showing up at the doorstep with half his brains removed. What ungodly beast did that? I’ve forgotten it. Forget the rank, gamey pigeons we ate. I might not be able to forget... affable Destan. Destan. The ever-smiling, perpetually, (infectiously!) happy houseboy. My mother offered Destan a proper room, but he opted out. Destan preferred the dank, dark, "bird- basement", covered in turkey, dove, pigeon…. you-name-it / “ it’s what’s for dinner!” bird shit. I’m talking about spackle. I”m attempting to verbalize... shit-as-caulk. I’m talking about tenfold layers and layers  of bird crap. I’ll never be able to find the words for the density of that avian, "shit-splosion." The stench alone? OH, dear g….. Forget it. Forget “Hank" - was it? The turkey I loved.You are actually reading this. It’s not a dream. I loved a damn turkey. Wow. What else ya gonna DO in Haiti, ah? Forget that he was served for dinner one night, as Bruno, my mom’s drunkard boyfriend (who I adored, BTW) darted a nefarious grin my way, indeed he did. I called “exemption" on Hank, but, my plea, clearly it meant jack-all. The turkey I claimed as a pet, yep, he was now on my dinner plate. Ahhhh forget the minuscule shit. It only “mattered” to a wussy child, anyway. Let’s get to one “experience,” shall we? One Haiti experience that is probably worth remembering, just for the sheer culture shock and spectacle. A "Cirque Du Wha-HEY!”   that I doubt… any other spoiled, Park Avenue bitch boys got to see. I was a lucky bitch boy, it could be said. Let’s not forget that tidbit. I’d like to forget that Serge, one of the gents who brought me to the “experience,” was (quite a few years later) found tied to a tree, throat slit, ear-to-ear. OK. The experience. Yes. "The Experience." Part Two: “The first time I fainted." Voodoo rituals, to say the least? they are myriad.   I believe the one I endured ; I believe it was a: “Repel Demonic Spirits Ritual." Memories are brutal things, eh? Who  knows what the template for a memory... truly is. Fiction pales. This is, in my opinion? a “level two" (out of ten) true-life shocker. My age played the largest role, as did the country, itself. What a wake-up call. It is unique, and for this reason, and this reason alone, it is possibly worth revisiting. My mother was in her early 30’s. She always worked her ass off, and she partied just as hard. Prime period, Bardot-level beauty (beyond) who took advantage of "nature’s temporary gift.” Fuck you, nature…BTW. My mom was a hardcore player. Some nights I was passed around like an American football. This was one of those nights. “Want to see something endemic to Port-au-Prince?” - something to this effect, but in "layman-ese” ; obviously, he did not use the 50 cent word I supplied. I was with Serge (I forget…I really do forget! )and two others. I was taken to the ceremony by three men who worked for my mother’s sportswear company. Factory employees, oh yes, turned makeshift babysitters. Hoo-rah! My mom was (likely) at the Royal Haitian Casino and Hotel. High-end for Port-au-Prince, this joint was, indeed. Stepping into the Air Conditioned “Royal Haitian,” was akin to attending Epcot Center’s best attraction…if it had one, I mean. My mother was doing  “her thing…” (* never “caved" to self-deprivation, is all I will say) Me, I was in a filthy van. I recall being in that van, for what seemed like ages ; myself and three cackling adults, clearly amped that I was about to be “de-flowered"….erm...in some fashion. “Tonight, we are going to show you the real Haiti!”   Indeed, they were about to show me something, and boy, had I been giddily rapacious. “Authentic  Voodoo Show? Hell yes!” was at the forefront of my already-twisted, little skull. Let’s be honest. This was well before I went crazy. That happened at age 12 and beyond. This was unique, especially for a Park Avenue-born kid. Forget the amorphous mind of the over-zealous, ignorant child ;  good decisions , like batteries….never included. When I wrote: " these rituals were myriad,”or something to this effect, I was imagining a color spectrum. I was told (in 1977) Voodoo Ceremonials took place, for just about any occasion. I cannot verify this, nor have I ever cared to research it, via the web. This was a:  “you’re in over your head”  occasion, because it was: "pre-everything.” I retained innocence, I did,  in 1977. I know that I still had innocence, even when Haiti tried to rend it from me. “Pre-Hell-Dipped-Mikey, and His First Voodoo Ceremony.”   Honestly, this was akin to watching a Shirley Temple film ; I  simply had no comparisons - not yet. I  have to assume, however,   that this was one of the more “epic"(?)  voodoo ceremonies. I mean, if not, then what am I missing? Let us also forge...t that it took place in the middle of freaking nowhere, and in a perfectly grim setting. Central casting and location scout teams? Hell, they’d piss over this package, in it’s entirety. It’s 1977, babe! Woooooooo! I know nothing! Mikey knows nada! I have not even met my dick, yet! Shit, where was I….. The van pulled up where roads terminated, and tangled, foreboding woods claimed dominion, 360 degrees, everywhere you canted your head. So dark, those nights, all of them, in Port-au-Prince. Crickets, oddball,insect noises ;  not much else. We had to foot it to the makeshift “arena”. I recall those bleak woods… The flashlight… “Hold onto my arm” etc. Eventually, I could see the gleam ; the flicker of flames. As we drew near, upright pole-torches guided us past the narrow, dirt pathway, widening until we hit it. I remember thinking: "earth-arena.” I knew it was man-made, but it appeared jungle-birthed,  this stage…OH yeah. A stage forged in dark, dark soil. Serge made sure we got primo seats, as in: a huge-assed log, right in front of “Kaiju Circle" A damp, mossy log, one o...f maybe ten? They served as seats. Primo on the Primitiv-O. Our log. Our front row, ass-pain-delivery-conceyance log. She only required a few handkerchief thwacks , ending or hurling away, maybe a dozen, pesky, fire ants. A soil / dirt circle. A circle large enough to accommodate 20 people. Ornate the concentric designs were, beautiful, to be honest. Detailed, alien-scripture-ephemeral,  as the street paintings that are doomed by foot traffic. The drawings and writing (by stick, I assume) etched inwards from the outer ring, all the way to the center, where the “MC” would eventually take position. The ceremony was mostly comprised of locals, as I’m pretty certain tourists were:  in-absentia. the rumps on those stumps, the bums on that bark. I’m guessing, now... 30 people were in the audience? It was no... "Radiohead gig." Before I was carried to the van, and later briefed about the “finale” I missed… I can relay this much. The “MC” was a young(ish) woman, adorned with feathers and bones. Bone. Bones. Bone through her nose. Small prey. Mammalian = another guess. “Bone Gear.” Wherever her face and naked body ("mondo-regalia,” aside) was not tattooed or pierced by small scraps of metal, there was bone. Rat skulls?  I remember bone. Mucho Hueso. Suddenly came the drums. Loud as hell, this percussion. Man, there was a small army of drummers, banging these upright….tree-stump-type objects. If ever a time was right for earplugs, this was it. The jungle did not absorb that pummeling. I felt it in my body, like a recent, audiophile demo, at Soho's “Stereo Exchange." A beverage was passed around to the spectators, and my “handlers” ensured, and fairly aggressively, that I did not drink from that clay bowl. Four men. Four men Flanked the Priestess (I think this was what they called her), two on her left side, and two on her right side. A (very) young girl scurried forward, carrying some "Tim Burton-looking” cage, comprised of dead palm fronds and mossy bark, set it near the priestess’ feet, then darted back. Her entrance alacrity perfectly paced with her exit speed. Doves. Doves were crammed-tight! Doves! Doves , like concentration camp train victims….crammed in the most repulsive manner.i Thacrap-looking cage. Doves, super-stuffed, like ten marshmallows in a baby Raccoon’s fist. Trust me, I’ve seen it .Same visual. More drums. “When will they start?” The waiting. The endless, percussion-as-punishment. I wanted to bail. Then. Then, it just began. The squeeze. Why? to push the heart upwards - WTF? Then the bite. Surgical, her “bird-headings” were, Yeah. This gal was biting, then spitefully! It was ( a guess?) pre-PETA, but it felt...mega-pear-shaped. What am I even saying?  It was Haiti. 1977! Spitefully, she spat those dove heads, and in random directions. Bite…spit-quick-bubble-mouth. What the…? Ohhhhh! White morphs non-stop-red. Her “trick" was to make arterial spray, post-head-eject, rapidly retain dove blood in her mouth, then turn, to the drum beats…. Grand Guignol? I think this was a form of it. To the beat…. Bite, suck, hold, turn…spit… Spit the blood. SO much, the blood. Too much. Magic speed. Winter-squirrel. Puffy cheeks.  She spat the blood left, then right, spray-painting the faces of the four  men. I was having a rough time. I saw a grid. Black splotches, then a green, “electrified” grid, right tin front of my face. Still, I held on. I was definitely not happy. Then came those powders. I cannot tell you what was in them, nor what they were, no way. No tengo idea. I’d say 4-5 doves were given the "feral cat on PCP” treatment, then she blew various powders! Yes. Those mad powders, like sugar bombs exploding in the male faces. I was utterly amazed that the "dove-splosions" did not fell me. Amazed. I think my adult cohorts felt the same ; “Ballsy kid. Ballsy, for a spoiled, yankee bitch boy.” What did me in? It was that somnambulism “trick?” Was it a trick? Was it real? This was where I began to board the “Wooze Cruise.” One of the powders blown , obscured the male faces for a few seconds, then….THEN. Next, the powwders, and I’ll hazard another guesstimate:  2-minute absorption time. Those white powders. They made the dudes “Danse Macabre” . I am talking: some scary-assed, David-Lynch-type action. I was now in Batshit Town. Population: MIkeyboy, Grunts and howls. Pain. Ugly , animalistic sounds of agony, emitted from all four men. Freakish, gross, naked men, falling backwards, yet still-standing. Utterly insectoid. The unedited version of “The Exorcist.”   Regan doing the spider-walk. Four naked, full-body-paint-adorned , synchronized wig-outs. Jacob’s Ladder.. Esther Williams on shards of glass and bath salts. When the men's eyes rolled back, fiendishly displaying… I mean: "pop-out-level,”  hyper-bulging, white orbs ; yes indeed, I was getting my baaaaaaaaad freak-on, finally. The priestess summoned the men to do dog-like tricks. An arm was cut. She sucked from it…I barely recall my backflip off that fat-assed, wet log (eventually, I’d be doing that move endlessly, as a scuba diver, only, a tad more gracefully) I awoke in the grimy van that brought me to this netherworld. Ostensibly, I missed the highlight ie. “the finale.” I missed the part where the priestess and her charges were “resistant.” Example: They downed 4 bottles of Jack Daniels (apiece!) and  remained “sober.". The alcohol was inspected by the audience to prove it’s veracity etc. I missed this bit, and the wound-proof bit. I cannot tell you what I missed, as it was verbally detailed “at" me, I still had  (intermittent) ink splashes in my eyes. I was in and out of brief fainting spells. I did not have any interest, none,  in hearing more about the finale. I blew it. I never saw :The FULL Enchilada." Maybe? Someone cut one of the “performers” and there was no blood. Honestly, My 11-year old brain was knackered for the evening. I felt nauseated in a way that I never experienced (again), save for a night in Coney Island where my stripper girlfriend was performing at the sideshow, and her pal ( a writer, of course!) was retelling me his testicle injury horror story. OH, this is one that needs to be heard. That was faint number two. The only other times I have  “hit asphalt?” You don’t want to know. I am sure, rituals modern and old,  can be found online. I have no idea if there are or were(ever)  “rules or regulations,” in regards to said rituals. I saw what I saw, and it was unique, especially for Mikey, the 11-year old / previous dweller on “The Gold Coast of Manhattan." Haiti has beauty. There were amazing sights and indigent, yet upbeat people, but…. It’s a shit-show, by and large. It was awful then. and it’s worse , I believe, yes, worse now. I will not get political. I just forget. That’s what I do. I try to forget. It’s all locked up in my chest. I try to forget. It’s all locked up in my chest.