#love tha primes

[winged-void]

Prime numbers be upon ye, wench

2. Favorite color when you were younger, and now?

When I was younger it was the specific Scarlet associated with crayola crayons. I distinctly remember being told it was a "girl color" and I never worked out why. I wonder if it was like. because some girls are named scarlet? because of the scarlet letter? we may never know.

Now it's Cyan or Teal. love them shits.

3. Do you wear eye-shadow? What color?

I Have before but i generally don't. When i do it's always really obvious and weird so i can look weird

5. In your opinion, is love at first sight real?

that is completely inconsistent with my understanding of love I have built over the course of my 8 year relationship with my wife (and other relationships before and during). Love is not attraction, it's commitment. It's a choice you make even when the Feeling isn't there.

7. First kiss details? (If you haven’t been kissed, reply how and if you would like to be.)

I tried to kiss my (now) wife after our second date but i missed and fucked up, and they asked me if I wanted to try again and I did it.

11. What is your hair like?

Soft? Long? Blonde? it tangles easy and it hurts lots bc my skin is sensitive everywhere. If i let you touch my hair freely, you know I trust you lmao.

13. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?

generally around midnight. Generally wake up around 6 or 7. supplemented with naps in the middle of the day when I am allowed. Somehow i catpilled myself into a crepuscular sleep schedule

17. Favorite game as a child?

Interesting question, could have any number of answers. I always would say Majora's mask, it was probably my favorite game from an artistic perspective. But from the perspective of which one I just liked to play? Probably like. any given pokemon? runescape? adventure quest????

19. Princess, Fairy, Mermaid, or Unicorn?

Angel<3

23. Do you dance? Slow dance?

Not generally, i got shamed a lot as a kid and its hard to overcome all that still. I did take dance classes for my wedding though, and danced there.

29. When and who was your first crush?

Uhh as far as I remember probably like. this girl named taylor in 8th grade. We had a weird awkward sort of relationship that ended when she told me we actually hadn't been dating and she was dating someone else? She then proceeded to stalk me and tell me she loved me over and over for years after that. weird shit idk

31. Are you superstitious?

No.

37. Are you quiet or loud?

it depends? is anyone one of those as a rule? I guess when I'm quiet its intentional, usually because im shy or anxious or w/e, and when I am comfy i tend to get too loud.

41. Worst fear as a kid?

Dark or heights

43. why isn't there a 43?

Idk! but i added one

47. Do you feel everything, nothing, or you don’t know what to feel?

I feel a lot. I tend to feel it on a delay. Like. I will experience something and then feel all the emotions hours or even days later

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

[lord-squiggletits]

"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.

One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority

[dragonridernoobie]

How does tfp Team Prime react to meeting an emotionally-detached femme who is heavily scarred and became ruthless due to circumstances. She's trying to improve for the team and remains quiet as a response to the horrors she's seen. (Horrors that, let's say are the reason she's walked alone until now)

However, she rediscovers her old love for art and begins gifting them the paintings she's made of them, smiling a little when they're accepted. The last one presented to all of them is called the 'Family portrait', which is of the entire team, including the humans.

Hmmm, intresting....I tried my best, and tha k you for being patient!!!!

TFP Autobots X Emotionally Didatched Reader

When the autobot team met (Y/N), it was when an escape pod crash landed on earth. They where excited since another autobot was alive.

When they met (Y/N) they immediately could tell (Y/N) was distant. They acted like UltraMagnus just more...distance.

When they welcomed (Y/N) to the base, (Y/N) was quick to help train the team like UltraMagnus. They whernt as stricked but still called out the team if they messed up on moved or attacks.

The team had mixed feelings about them, but one thing they all can agree with. Why was (Y/N) so distant, emotionless, and strict.

They decided to find out in each of their own own ways. Each team member agreed to try and get information out of (Y/N).

Bulkhead

Bulkhead tried first.

With miko and him, they tried to do it with music.

They took (Y/N) them on a mission and listened to heavey metal with them.

Even if (Y/N) kept reminding them to focus.

When it got to the end of the mission, they tried to ask (Y/N) straight forward

But (Y/N) just told them to focus on themselves.

Bumblebee

Bumblebee and Ralph was next.

They tried to do it with video games.

They somehow convinced (Y/N) to play a few games with them.

When they started to play, they would watch their reaction on certain games to see if there where some signs.

None.

Arcee

Arcee and jack where next as well.

They decided to try and get information out of (Y/N) by a nice relaxing car drive.

They told (Y/N) that they needed to go scouting and they wanted them to come.

While they drove around, Arcee and Jack asked a few questions here and there.

(Y/N) never gave them a proper response.

Ratchet

He dident ask (Y/N) straight out but he was more blunt then the others.

He asked (Y/N) if they got any injuries in the past, if they had a family, etc.

(Y/N) never responded but just let ratchet do a check up on them.

Once done, (Y/N) says bluntly

"Focus on you're work doctor."

Optimus

For optimus, he never asked (Y/N)

Since he knew everyone has their own story

He only asked when after a mission, (Y/N) snapped and started to yell at the team

After (Y/N) walked away, he would ask what has happened and (Y/N) explained.

They once where in a happy family. They had a partner, sparklings, a home. That was intel the war started.

They lost everything. They watched their sparklings be killed infront of them when decpticons attacked their home.

They served in the autobot army with their partner intel he was killed.

They have been alone for a long time and they learned that showing emotions will get you attached to people who could die in the next hour.

So they chose to stay emotionless. They carr for the team, the team almost feels like a family, that why they need to be ready for anything.

Optimus understood and explained that he agreed, but they could not be so hard on them. They deserve to be happy, and that they are trying. Each of them are fighting for their own things.

He asked (Y/N) to show a bit of emotion since a team must work together, and no good communication is a way to break a team.

(Y/N) agrees to do so. So, when they see the team again, they try to show emotions by smiling awkwardly.

Ya, it scared the team.

They are trying, though.

[paeries]

Sick Of You III — h.s.

[when a boyfriend of two years breaks it off and offers a new arrangement, of course you’ll take it up. this is your prime chance to prove him wrong. and Harry can’t bear to watch it]

[part one is here, part two is here, and i just wanted to say thank you thank you thank you for all the love you’ve shown. this one took a loonnngggg time to hash out because I wanted to give it a good realistic feel to the argument, bc y/n fucked up badddd. so, that being said, i'm hoping i was able to deliver and i really hope you enjoy it xxx]

wc; 13.3k

pairing; harry x reader

cw; friends to lovers au, brief smut, annggsssttttt, harry tears, lots of arguing, drinking, smoking, swearing ALOT of it, we’re not exactly y/n’s biggest fans

pov; y/n, but third person

[pssst…. you can find my masterlist here]

“There y’go, sweet girl.” Harry panted out, his hands cupped under her ass as she rocked back and forth on his cock, the tip practically smushed against her g-spot. “Tha’ feel good?” He hummed, as she buried her face in his neck, her hands gripping tight at his shoulders for leverage. She nodded quickly, gasping out a weak ‘Yes!’ before whimpering against the crook of his neck. “So full, Harry.” She hiccuped and Harry’s head fell back, Y/N taking the opportunity to litter kisses anywhere she could at the newly uncovered area. His hands came up to smooth along her back, one hand finding the soft ends of her hair, his fingers twirling the strands around each digit. He’d learned long ago about how she’d coo and preen into his touch. He had moved his head back to watch her do just that, and watch the goosebumps skirt up her arms. “All mine, dove.” He had hummed against her skin. “Tell me.” He begged, sliding an arm around her waist to lift her up a bit, his hips rocking up into her. He heard her gasp, whine, whimper, everything but what he really wanted to hear. “Tell me, Y/N. Please, tell me you’re mine.” He asked again, peppering kisses across her chest. Just as he found her nipple beginning to suck gently, as he knew would get her to say what he wanted to hear, a lower voice from the corner began to laugh.

“Go on, tell him.”

Harry’s head snapped up, ignoring Y/N’s cries as she came, her hips still rocking against him with her head thrown back.

Mark was standing by the door.

•••

Harry’s eyes flew open, sitting up immediately before scanning the room for his clock that he must’ve kicked to the floor in his sleep. 4:16am. He groaned, his hands reaching up to rub his face before laying back down. Maybe I can stare at the ceiling some more and fall asleep?

“Tell him.” Harry audibly scowled, pulling the pillow over his head. He couldn’t even find peace in his sleep, his own brain won’t let him get the girl while he’s unconscious. Ridiculous, really. At this point, he’d rather just scrap the whole day and try again tomorrow. He didn’t feel like moving. Didn’t feel like sitting up and he didn’t feel like stretching his aching limbs. He certainly didn't feel like pulling his curtains back to let the daylight in, definitely didn’t feel like getting in the shower, didn’t feel like tidying up his living room from the night before, he didn’t feel like doing anything but lay down.

So he did. With the T.V. on whatever was already channelled in, he laid in his bed and let his thoughts drift. If he looked out to the aforementioned curtain covered window, he wondered if it was going to rain, since the sun should’ve begun coming up by now. It had to have been covered in clouds, a perfect start to a shitty morning evidently. He dared look back at the clock. What had felt like it had at least been ten minutes, in fact was a little of an hour had gone by. So, with his throat scratchy, his eyes raw, his head pounding, and feeling like shit, he pushed himself up to trudge into the bathroom despite his lack of motivation. Start with a shower, he thought to himself, as he brought a heavy hand to the knobs before stepping under the water.

Usually, he would let his mind wander. Sometimes long enough for his hands to find his cock, tugging till he found his relief under the water. Now? He shuts his eyes, focusing instead on the feel of the hot water pelting at his skin. If only he could put it all off until tomorrow and stop existing only for the day. He was well aware that the minute he’d let the reins go, his thoughts would return to her.

Yet, Harry suddenly can't seem to catch his breath in the shower, the inevitable tears slipping past his cheeks as hard choking sobs wracked through his body, his forehead resting against the ceramic tiles. Nothing could stop whatever noise clawed its way from his gut and out of his mouth when he thought about the night before. He wasn’t even sure why this time was so much worse than all the others.

Was it because he felt like the end was near? That his efforts paid off, or that it was looking like he’d come out on top after all? That all signs were pointing to yes? Not, watch out for the rug that's about to be ripped away from under your feet? Or was it how stupid he never thought she’d have been to throw away what was obviously the right kind of love? That she'd be so blinded to deny it?

You shouldn’t think like that, it’s not like you don’t love her anymore.

Finally stepping out of the shower, he grabbed whatever clothes his hands found from his drawers and began down the hallway to the kitchen. As Harry brewed himself a cup of coffee, he scrolled through his phone for unanswered texts or calls, even updating himself on the news. Again, anything that allowed his mind to venture away from her. Sure there were things that always reminded him of her but he did his best to steer clear as best he could.

While he waited for the machine to finish, he glanced over his living spaces. Nothing too terrible. There were some empty pizza boxes on the kitchen island (he later learned that someone was kind enough to put the last unopened box of pizza in his fridge along with the drinks), and the chairs were a bit haphazard and the couch was covered in crumbs and pillows. This really shouldn’t take too long to tidy up.

About an hour passed, and Harry had gotten through his second cup of coffee, feeling somewhat better and more alert. At least enough to get the day done and over with. So Harry, after looking at the state of his neglected garden from the window, decided to dip into the closet for his broom to start there. The area hadn’t been used since the summer, and with the snowier months on the way, he thought he’d better tidy it now so it wasn’t so atrocious come next springtime.

By the time he finished and stepped back inside the heated walls, a knock came from his front door. Dread ran through his blood, as he stared at it before hurriedly opening the door, immediate relief rippling through his body when Daphne was revealed to have been standing at the other side.

“Hey, Daph.” He sighed, his head tilted in confusion afterwards. “S’quite early, isn’t it? Why’re you up?” He asked but Daphne shook her head, and he noticed she looked quite frazzled. “Nevermind that, y’busy?” She asked hurriedly. “Not exactly, but,” Harry started before Daphne was pushing past him into his house. “Come on in, I guess.” He muttered, shutting the door to follow her. “Are you cleaning?” She asked immediately and Harry’s eyes widened. He wasn’t exactly awake just enough to have prepared himself for company. “Not deeply, just tidying.” He replied, eyeing her carefully. He couldn’t tell what was wrong with her. She wasn’t as put together as usual. Honestly, she looked quite dishevelled. “Good. I’ll help you.” She answered, going to grab a trash bag to collect the empty beer cans and bottles. Harry waited a second, feeling his confusion grow deeper before grabbing a bag as well.

They cleaned in silence for a while before Daphne, who was now holding paper towels and some sort of spray to wipe the counters. “Y’sleep okay?” She finally asked and Harry straightened up. “Slept fine.” He answered quickly, hoping that was the last question. (Somehow, he wasn’t convinced.)

Silence again, apart from the occasional spraying sound from her surface cleaner. “Because, y’never came back out after you got sick.” Daphne pried again, and Harry let out a loud exhale. “I’m fine, Daphne.” He reiterated, looking at her sternly. He reaaallllyyy did not want to talk about it, especially with Daphne. She had barely paused, still wiping down the tables or setting glasses in the sink. “It’s just that, I-I’m having a hard time believing you, Harry. I know how you get.” She began again and Harry groaned, his head tipping back. “Daphne. I’m fine. S’alright.” He said again, staring at the ceiling as silence filled the room again.

Thank Go—

“What’d y’mean, s’alright, Harry?” Daphne shouted suddenly, her eyebrows furrowed at him in some form of disbelief. Surely, he’s joking, she thought. “It’s not alright, you get that, yeah?” She huffed, shaking her head at him. “That, that, what she’s doing, is, is- She’s stringing you along! I-It’s nasty, it’s cruel!” Her voice climbing higher and higher, until she was shouting.

“Enough, already! Alright? I know what it is, Daphne! But, you popping up out of nowhere at six a.m. and throwing it in my face at volume 10 isn’t helping things either!” Harry snapped, pausing from picking up the pizza boxes and glasses strewn about the coffee table. “I don’t need you to tell me any of this shit, I can handle m’self, thanks.” As much as he tried not to, he took one look at her and guilt rushed over him. “M’sorry, for yelling. I’m just,” He sighed, setting the garbage bag down to free his hands. “I’m trying to get my mind off it, so, it’s just not something that I really want to talk about. I appreciate your concern, I do. But, I think I just want to be alone.” Daphne chewed at the inside of her lip as she listened to him, “I’m sorry, I really didn’t come here to pry. I just wanted to check in.” She finally uttered out, going to finish tidying in the kitchen. “I’m at least going to help you finish first.” She said adamantly. And Harry let out a sigh of relief. That, he could manage. “Thank you, Daph, really.” He reiterated, grateful for the help and now silent company.

By the time Y/N left Jodie’s and arrived at Harry’s, she found that his car was running in the driveway, and his front door seemed to be cracked open by a smidge.

Where was he headed off to? Should I go?

Before another thought could form in her brain, Harry came out in what looked like a hurry, stopping briefly at the sight of her before bounding right past her to the boot of his car.

She stayed still while chewing at the inside of her lip, watching as Harry wrapped up six or seven bags in his arms. Without much acknowledgement, he slid past her again to get in the door. “Would you take the keys out of the ignition for me, this is the last of it.” He grumbled as he passed her. “Sure-,” She sighed, opening his driver door to pull the keys out, the engine shutting down immediately.

After making what felt like a walk of shame to the front door, she froze upon entering. Harry was busying himself with getting the groceries put away, walking back and forth between the bags on the kitchen floor to the fridge or cupboards. Harry was determined not to show her how upset he really was. He wanted to give her the same treatment he had been experiencing from her. Besides the fact, that he was terrified he’d start crying the minute he got a good look at her.

“How have y’been?” He asked, barely taking a glance at her as she shut the door behind her. Just focus on the groceries and the house, he thought to himself. Chairs were still every which way, and Harry had relieved Daphne of her duties about an hour earlier once she finished mopping, so he could manage to pop out to the store and grab some groceries for the week. Organising his apartment, unfortunately, took a brief back corner.

Y/N had stepped in, cautious to watch him as he moved over his apartment. “Have t’say that I’ve felt better.” She mumbled, choosing to stay in the entryway and out of his way. “That so?” Harry replied, his jaw clenching. It was clear that she wasn’t going to let it blow past another day. He decided to prepare himself for the second argument of the day.

“Yeah, um, Harry?” She said hurriedly, wringing her hands together to try and work up the nerve. Harry sighed, ducking his head in the fridge to keep himself busy. “Yeah,” He said dejectedly. There’s no running from it now.

“I wanted to apologise for leaving everyone in the dark last night.” There it was. Harry felt his teeth begin to grind against one another, and he turned to collect some of the emptied reusable bags amongst the others to put them away for his next trip. He hated the plastic bags.

Maybe we could distract ourselves with our thoughts long enough to tune her out?

“It was a rough night, and,” she paused for a moment, “Clearly, I had had a major lapse in judgement.” He feels like his blood's boiling a degree or so higher with every word coming out of her mouth.

He clears his throat, “It’s fine, Y/N.” Can’t you take a hint?

“But it’s not fine, and,” She goes on, but Harry isn’t listening. He knows she's still talking and he’s fully tuned out, but he can’t stomach this much longer. He knew what she was saying without even listening. It was always some excuse, or half-assed ‘Sorry’. So, trying everything he could to cut her off, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” he griped, hoping that was enough to let her know to back off. What was everyone’s deal? Wanting to talk about it? When did everybody start caring about it?

“Harry, I’m sorry,” She began again, “you’re clearly angry, so just let me,” Harry’s loud groan interrupted her again as he lifted a hand to stop her, “Just stop, yeah?! Sorry?” He spat, “Sorry’s not good enough! You can’t just say- M’tired,” He seethed, “Of hearing how sorry you are. This time, sorry won’t fix it. S’just too soon.” His long legs carried him to the living room to bring a chair back to the kitchen table along with a few wine glasses to sit in the sink, desperate to find something to busy himself with. Anything to avoid this exact argument.

“Wow, y’sound like Daphne.” She muttered, and what meant to sound like a lighthearted joke to lighten the mood, now sounded bitter and demeaning as she now understood, shutting her eyes tight when she saw his head snap back to her. “What?” He asked carefully, taking a few steps in her direction. “What did you just say?” She’d never seen him so angry, taking a few steps backwards as well. “I-I- I didn’t mean,” She stuttered, chewing at her lip when her back met the front door. “Cos’ t’me? Sounded like you had somethin’ snippy to say, and I’d say that you’re in no place to make petty remarks. Especially, when asking me to forgive you all while you stand there, mottled with bruises and hickeys from him.” He spat, shaking his head at her. “How stupid do you think I am?” His head tilted at her, finally backing up to continue unpacking the bags from the store in the kitchen, even laughing as he did. “Hilarious.” He laughed out, glancing back at her before laughing again as he dug through the groceries.

“I-I don’t- think you’re stupid, that’s,” she sighed, starting again with a concentrated breath, “I know you’re angry. And, I know that I deserve to hear it.”

It made his head spin. The same way it always did when he would put his argument aside and give in. Harry could feel his blood bubbling with anger, with hurt, sadness, all of it coming to a head. Before he could do anything to stop it; he turned around again.

“No, what you deserve is each other.” He spat, immediately regretting the words the minute they came out. He knew it sounded morose and beneath him. But he wouldn’t take it back. He was angry, he is angry. Her eyes went wide, opening her mouth before closing it shortly after taking a few steps towards him again. “I-I,” She began again and he watched as her eyebrows furrowed, her lips pursed as her eyes danced around the floor before continuing, “You used me! I can’t continue to be the backup, Y/N! That’s all I am! When he doesn't want you, I’m suddenly good enough. Do I matter that little to you?” He felt like he was gasping for air, suffocating slowly and desperate for relief.

She stopped in her tracks, “Of course not, Harry. You know how I feel about you.” She couldn’t think of a time when Harry didn’t matter to her. So her confusion, trying to understand where everything went so wrong, left her at a loss. How she couldn’t see when it went wrong. If she had just talked to Jodie months ago, would they be standing at arms with one another? She’s never seen Harry like this before, ever. The normally cool, calm, collected and goofy Harry, was now hard-eyed, rigid, and cold. Hurt.

Harry scoffed, narrowing his eyes at her. “When?! When have I ever known how you feel about me? When was I something other than your plan b?!” He spat after turning back around, angrily putting cans in the cupboard and throwing frozen vegetables in the freezer. “Worst part is that I fucking knew what was going to happen at breakfast that morning! I knew it!” She thought she was hearing things, but she swore she could hear a choked whimper in his voice. Y/N pursed her lips, shaking her head in disbelief. “I don’t believe this, Harry. Everytime he cancelled on me, I called you. Anytime he said or did something wrong, I wanted your company. It wasn’t about the sex.”

Harry felt like throwing a full-blown tantrum as he turned around, his eyes widening. “Jesus, so what? Y’telling me I ought to be grateful then?” He quipped, staring at her.

“Of course not! I’m trying to say that I always wanted you around. And that, maybe sometimes, I was happy Mark would cancel.” She explained but Harry wasn’t buying it. “You’re something fucking else, y’know that? ‘Maybe sometimes?’ Fuckin’..” He huffed, deciding to leave it there as he went back to rinsing the wine glasses in the sink. “It’s my fault, I should've got out sooner. My bad.” He spat, leering at her over his shoulder.

“Why did you stay then?!” She yelled, her eyes boring into his back, her frustration reaching its peak. “If there were a million reasons to stop like you make it out to be, why did you stay?!” Harry rolled his eyes, “Oh, come on now. Don’t be daft.” He huffed, shutting the water off to turn to her again, drying his hands on the hand towel over his shoulder. “No, seriously! Why?!”

His eyes met hers, searching hers to try to figure out if she was being serious or not. If she was making some cruel point. “Do you really want to know?!” “Yes!” She breathed, throwing her arms in the air exasperatedly. “Do you?! You’re sure?!” “Jesus, Yes, Harry. I want to know!”

“I,” He paused for a moment to collect himself, “M’- I am in love with you.” He managed in one exhale, his body taut and tense as he looked at her.

Silence for a moment, In love? “Harr-”

“There is no ‘I think’ or ‘maybe’ or ‘could I be’, I am in love with you.” He was breathing heavily now, and deeply thankful she was keeping her distance because he was sure he’d have bursted into tears by now. “If I were Mark, I’d have married you by Month 3.” He practically growled, pained by the comparison. Harry knew full well Mark would never be a quarter of the man he was. “Unfortunately, I haven’t got the money, as we all know, but, I like to think I do well enough on my own.” He was breathing heavily, staring at her fiercely. That was a low one to hurl but he couldn’t stop himself. A full year of his misery, and now she had to make him tell her like this?

“The money?!” She was glaring now, her hands finally settling on the island counter opposite him. “I don’t give a fuck about the money, Harry. I never have, and y’know that. My mother introduced us because she knows his family. Just so happened, I fucking fell in love with him!” Harry rolled his eyes and it only fueled her on. “Right, shocking. As if you’d know what love was if it had landed in your lap.” He spat sarcastically, turning again to flip the tap back on to go back to the last few dishes left.

“Harry, I came here to tell you that I love you.” She admitted, causing Harry to flinch. Something he’d once die to hear, now he couldn’t take seriously. ”No, you don’t.” He groaned, pained to even have to reject it, his lips pulling tight to stop himself from saying anything else. “Yes, I do.” She repeated, her voice catching an irritated tone. Harry couldn’t take it, she just kept pressing, and pressing. “I want to believe you, I do,” He said, his hands shaking while scrubbing the pots and pans. “but, I can’t, not anymore.”

“You can’t- What do you mean you can’t believe me?” She breathed out, bringing her hands up to brush the hair messed around the frame away from her face, the weight of this argument growing heavy. They’d hardly argued before, and never before to this degree. “I can’t believe you when you say you love me. I believe you care for me, or about me, or whatever.” He paused, swallowing thickly so as not to break down. “I don’t believe you’d ever give me an honest chance.” He admitted, his head hanging as he leaned against the kitchen sink, refusing to look at her.

She laughed almost incredulously, “Why not?” And Harry splits, “Because of Mark!” He barked at her, spinning around to finally face her. “It’s always Mark! You've never even considered me as an option!”

“Not once did you ever even contemplate it!” He was seething now, unsure as to how he could possibly get her to grasp a fraction of an idea as to how bad she's hurt him. “What do you want me to do, Harry! I can’t go back in time! I’m apologising now!”

“Oh, Christ, Y/N- They’re just fucking words! If that’s all you have for me, you’d better just go.” He admitted, a mixture of sadness and disappointment etched across his features.

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to collect herself. “What do you want, Harry?” As she finally spoke, her voice was timid and defeated, and as Harry’s voice boomed over, she jumped.

“I wanted to be first!” He shouted, veins popping out on his neck from the force. “I wanted you!” His chest was heaving, fully unloading his anger. “Every time I think about you, Y/N, my chest hurts. Like, like someone is stepping on it. Especially when I think about you with him! It’s killing me, and I thought, I-I thought that I could,” He sighed, his eyes fluttering closed, deciding he had shared enough. He said what he felt he had to say.

She didn’t really know what to say, taken aback by his outburst. “I’m-,” She managed before Harry decided he had enough. “I think you should leave.” He muttered, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Harry,” She tried, even going as far as to take a step closer to him. “Get out.” Whatever sorrow she thought he could be feeling was so clearly gone. Now, he stood in front of her, tense and angry.

“Leave! I’m tired of this!” I can’t trust you anymore.

“H-Harry, I can’t lea- m’not leaving.” She tried again, begging herself not to let the tears fall. “Now you’re crying?!” Harry barked, reaching up to move his hair from his eyes, tugging as his fingers reached the ends. Rage surged through his body, grabbing her keyring off the counter to take his home key.

He snatched his own keys off the hook to take her house key off, linking it back onto her keyring. “I’m dead serious, Y/N, leave.” He said, cursing himself at the way his voice shook. He knew how scary he could look when he got angry like this, catching a glimpse of his reflection one time in an argument at work.

After pushing her keys back into her hands, he opened the front door and waited, his teary and red-rimmed eyes trained to the ground in front of him. “I-I’ll, I’ll earn it back, Harry. I promise, I-I’ll get the key back.” She murmured, as she walked past him out the door reluctantly. “I swear I’ll prove it.”

Harry managed a small half smile that bordered on sarcastic through his blank stare, hoping she would but still doubtful. “I guess we’ll see.” He gritted, shutting the door immediately afterwards before the unshed tears creating a gloss over his eyes finally fell. Only standing there another few seconds before going back to the distraction of cleaning his apartment again.

“Jod?” She called, stumbling through her best friend's house while fumbling to put the keys in her pocket. “Jooooodddddd!” She giggled out, her vision fuzzed enough as it is without it being pitch black.

Jodie opened her bedroom door quickly, “Y/N? Is that you?” She mumbled, knuckling at her eyes to make sure it was in fact, her drunk best friend. “D’y’know it’s about four in the morning?” A giggle came from the kitchen, as well as some glasses clinking. “Is it?” Y/N hummed, finally finding the kitchen while blindly feeling around for the lightswitch. “Goooot iiiit.” She sang before flipping the light on.

Jodie grabbed a robe, tying it across her waist and shuffled down the hall. “Are you drunk?” A good question, as she was slurring her words while pouring up another drink from her cabinet. “Is Daphne ‘ere?” Y/N hummed, teetering to one side momentarily. “No. Why don’t y’sit down and we can talk about it?” Jodie tried again, reaching for her friend's arm to tug her into the living room.

As both the girls sat down, the room fell quiet. “Talked to erm- Harry.” Y/N muttered, lifting her glass to her lips for a sip. “And?” Jodie asked, leaning forward to lower the other girl's glass. “C’mon, s’just me, relax.” She pressed and frowned as she watched the girl shake her head, more to herself than to Jodie. Y/N scoffed, standing up again to look for her speaker. “It's just us here, right?” She asked again, and Jodie furrowed her brows. “Yes, Daph’s out for the night but I don’t see why that matt-” And suddenly she was cut off by music. “I knew I’d regret giving you the house key.” She muttered to herself, knowing the music was too loud for her friend to hear her.

“Are you alright, Y/N? Have t’say, I’ve seen this kind of behaviour before.” Jodie said after standing up to turn it down. “I talked to Harry.” She repeated, giggling as she did so. “He looked sad. Sooo, sooooo beautiful, but sad.” She sighed, pouting before sitting against the couch’s arm rest. “Everything they said, s’true.” She muttered, staring into her lap as she swirled the liquid around the glass. “Y/N…” Jodie began, “I don’t know where this is go-,” Jodie stopped, as she was interrupted again. “I’m a terri- ‘hiccup’ -terrible person.”

Jodie took a breath, and decided to try again. “Just because you made a bad decision, doesn’t make you a terrible person.” Jodie sighed, somewhat pleased she was able to finish her two cents as she leaned her head against her palm.

“Jodie?” Y/N murmured, hardly looking up from the glass in her lap. “Yeah?” Her friend answered, her head snapping up at the mere thought of her best friend opening up. (Or the exhaustion, it was nearly 4am after all.) “I think I missed my chance.” Y/N whimpered, “I mean, he hates me. I thought I was goin’ over there to tell him what we,'' a hiccup interrupting her, “we had talked about.” She hummed, taking a quick breath to continue. “Was not the case.” She breathed out, shaking her head sadly at the memory of the fight.

“Y/N, I don’t think he hates you.” Jodie repeated, sighing before leaning back against the couch cushions with a soft yawn. “Jod, I’ve never seen him so angry. Ever.” Y/N mumbled, playing with the rings on her fingers. “I’ve just been an awful, awful, person lately. And, I know s’late a-and I wouldn’t normally be here. Becos’ usually, I can go to ‘arry’s. But I fucked that up for m’self, didn’t I.”

“He’s hurt.” Jodie reminded again. “Y/N, you realise that you’ve become his own Mark?”

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?” She gasped, and her friend forgave the dramatics, chalking it up to her level of intoxication. “Don’t ‘what’ me.” Jodie laughed, sighing after she caught her breath. “Seriously, you did damn near everything Mark did to you. Whether or not you meant to, is not the issue. You did it, and you need to make it right.” Y/N frowned, reaching for her glass again. Jodie sighed and lowered it again. “And, this? This is not how you make it right. Straighten yourself up. M’not letting you go down this road again, and definitely not when it's from your own doing.” She stood, taking the rocks glass and brought it to the kitchen. “Now, what kind of sandwich would you like?” She asked curtly, dumping the remnants of the glass in the sink before turning to open the fridge and fish out the necessary items. “I’d like you sober now.”

———

Now that Jodie had been certain she had somewhat sobered her friend up, she settled on the couch with a blanket strewn across her lap. Y/N was eating a carefully crafted turkey and brie toastie with a glass of water, laid across the other couch. The two girls were watching some of the ‘007 movie series to settle back down for the night. Jodie was undoubtedly closer to sleep than Y/N, but she didn’t mind staying up with her if it brought her friend some solace. Of all the times she could remember, (other than recent unfortunate events) Y/N had never let her down. Always there, even when her mother died, Jodie actually had to send her on random ‘quests’ to find some alone time in those first few months. “Jodie, I couldn’t imagine going through what you’re going through and keep the same…. Jodie-ness about you.” She’d said all those years ago. They were young, just freshly in the middle of their college careers. In all honesty, Jodie had stayed ‘Jodie’ because she had Y/N. As silly as her statement was at the time, it truly summarised her most valued friendship.

“What are you thinking about?” Y/N suddenly asked, and Jodie lifted her head, “Are you asking me?” She giggled, “You never ask!” She admitted when she received a ‘duh’ and Y/N shrugged, pursing her lips. “Well, you’ve been practically counselling me for the past week and a half and I haven’t asked. S’been eating at me for a while.” Y/N explained, watching as Jodie frowned. “I just, I know you’ve been dealing with a lot too. About the house and,” To her relief, Jodie cut her off. “That’s okay. Your little dilemma offers a much appreciated distraction if we’re being honest. I’ll be okay, I’ve got time.” She explained through another yawn. “You, however, are fucking up left and right hourly.” Jodie teased and somehow successfully dodged a throw pillow tossed her way.

“I wish you would just cry and that could be it. Y’have to get confusing and block everybody out.” Jodie huffed, cracking a smile at her friend who feigned shock. “Honestly!” She laughed, Y/N joining along. “I’m not doing it to push people away, I just hate to complain about something so trivial. I mean, Daphne’s moving for her new job, stressful. You have this house to worry about securing, I-I mean, I can’t leave a man alone if it killed me. All the while, mucking up a great relationship with a guy that actually cared about me enough to at least try and wait it out. That’s done with.” Y/N huffed, her face burying into her hands. “It’s just embarrassing, that this is my life issue.”

“Your life issue?” Jodie laughed, “I somehow doubt that this is it for you, Drama Queen.” She giggled again at the thought, shaking her head. “I’m gonna try to fall asleep, you nutcase. You’re welcome to stay.”

“Love you, Jodie.” Y/N hummed, standing to collect the plates and glasses to set down in the kitchen. The very least she could do was fix her kitchen back up after she barged in and woke her friend from a dead sleep.

—

When Daphne walked in the door the next morning and saw Y/N on the couch, she immediately stormed down the hall to Jodie’s room, who had gotten up just an hour prior to go to her bed. “Jodie!” She whispered, opening her door a crack to poke her head in. “Get up! Right now, get up!”

Jodie groaned, whining as she flipped over, pulling her pillow over her head. Daphne walked over to her bed and pulled the pillow away. “Y/N is on our couch!” She huffed, Jodie grumbling out, “Yes.”

“So! What is she doing here?!” Daphne huffed, setting her hands on her hips. “Christ, Daph, does it look like I’m alert and ready for the day?” She complained and Daphne pulled the blankets back. “I’m serious!”

“She got drunk and came over in the middle of the night, we talked and fell asleep. What is the big deal?”

“The big deal is that I’m pissed off at her! So I’d like to know if and when she’s here.” She explained, irritance written across her face. “And I still live here too!”

“Stop it, Daph! She wasn’t here for you, she was just here to talk. You weren’t even here last night.” Jodie grumbled, blindly reaching for her covers. “Well, I’m leaving. Text me when she leaves.” Daphne huffed, leaving Jodie’s room to duck into her own to collect the things she’d need for the day, showering and dressing before slipping back out the door. (She did, however pack a bag with her ‘daily essentials’, her hair and makeup products. She absolutely couldn’t risk taking any longer.)

“Thank you.” Jodie grumbled, before burying herself back against her bed.

—

“Hey you’re up! I was just getting my things to head out.” Y/N hummed at the sight of her tired looking friend.

“Yeah, might need another nap.” Jodie yawned, going to the fridge for a glass of water. “Daphne’s mad at you.” She added, turning to look at her friend. “I figured, she hasn’t been answering my texts.” Y/N sighed, taking her keys and wallet. “She ever tell you why?” She pried, chewing at her lip. “I mean, I know why, but,” She sighed again, shrugging.

“Well, s’the same shit. I’m assuming she’ll have to talk to me about it at some point. Dunno why shes so pro-Harry all of a sudden.” Jodie answered, “Thinkin’ she thinks this is her chance?”

“Not my business.” Her friend replied curtly, pressing her lips together before taking a step to the door. “Well, I convinced Cade to come pick me up to take me home and he’s here so, I’m just going to try and pretend everything's okay for a little while longer. I’ll see you later Jodie. Thank you, again, and m’sorry again for keeping you up.” Y/N apologised, before she stepped out to meet Cade at the end of her drive.

Jodie sighed, shutting the door and headed to the kitchen to start a kettle for some tea. It always put her in the mood for a nap. With her tea ready, she shuffled to the couch to collapse against it after carefully sitting the cup on the table in front of her. “Peace,” She hummed, “and quiet.” before settling for another rest.

Somehow she had spoken too soon, the front door was opened again and Jodie grumbled something incoherent about having been so close to sweet sleep. “Is she gone?” Daphne’s voice rang through the entryway. “Jesus Chr- Yes, Daph, she left about ten minutes ago! You practically passed her, how long are you gonna keep this up?”

“As long as I feel is necessary.” Daphne countered, heading to the kitchen to set her bags down. “What’s all this?” Jodie asked when she sat up, shuffling to the kitchen to look at what her housemate brought home from the store.

“Went out to the store, grabbed some stuff. Are you hungry? It’ll be some sort of an orzo pasta salad.” Daphne shrugged, pulling the ingredients out of the bags, as well as pulling out the necessary pots and utensils.

“I suppose,” Jodie yawned again. “Let me get cleaned up and dressed, I’ll help you.” She muttered, taking her tea to the room to shower and change. “No, no, get your rest, shouldn’t take too long. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.” Daphne called as the other headed down the hall.

—

“And that’s it, it says, Chill overnight or serve as is.” Daphne read off her phone, “I’m hungry now, so as is it is.” She snickered to herself, setting her phone to the side to give a few final stirs before turning the burner off. “Jod! S’about ready, now or never! M’starving.” She called out, loud enough that she was sure her friend could hear her clearly. “Coming!” Daphne heard back, muffled as it was, as she began to run cold water over the orzo before mixing the vegetables, cheese cubes and dressing.

Before long, Jodie came down the hall with a swiftness. “Been smelling it for ages wondering when you’d call me down.” She hummed, “Looks amazing, Daph.” Jodie praised, taking the time to give her friend a good once over. “Hey,” Jodie began cautiously, “You okay?” Daphne huffed, cleaning up the counters' surface. “Yeah, Jod. I’m perfectly fine.” She sighed, disappointedly. “You could have at least let me accept your compliment before you dug into me.” She mused, rolling her eyes, worrying now that their lunch was ruined. Jodie stared at her for a moment, blinking every now and then. “You realise everything you’re currently doing is in fact not fine?”

“Okay, I’m not. It’s not like it matters. Nobody listens to me anyways.” Daphne grumbled, taking her seat after passing a bowl to Jodie. “What’s your problem then? You’ve been as irritable as ever for the past three days.” Jodie asked, her brows furrowed with confusion.

“Because! You baby her! Let her get off the easy way and she’s in the wrong. I don’t care if she cries or begs, she fucked up and she deserves to hear about it.” Daphne sighed, shaking her head gently in thought.

“Yeah, Daphne, but some people learn differently. How can you expect someone to learn from their mistakes if you throw them to the wind and never give them the chance to fix it?” Jodie asked, still leaned against the counter as she watched Daphne clear the kitchen and turn the light off to sit at the breakfast counter. “And, I don’t baby her.”

"Oh, come on. Why’d y’think she stuck with Mark? She likes playing games, and she doesn't care about the victims of those games; even when they're her own best friends." Daphne griped, finally taking a bite from her bowl. “I’m not sure why you act like she’s been like this for your entire friendship.” Jodie counters, both unimpressed and growing irritated with how her friend is speaking about their supposed shared friend.

“She practically has! She was always the nicest, the smartest, everybody loves her. Even while making the most colossal mistakes!” Daphne groaned, rolling her eyes. “I love her, I do, like I would my sister! But I make one measly misstep and I’m done for. It’s time she gets a little bit of reality.”

“There’s reality, and then there’s meanness.” Jodie shrugged, grabbing a spoon to sit down with her friend. “And Daph, you’ve made tons of measly mistakes, and the world never ended, nor did we ever throw you out.”

The group met at the Stumble close to a week and some days later, and the night was getting into its usual spring, with Cade drunk and slumped at the bar booth they sat at. Unfortunately, Cade lost another shot challenge to Jodie, as usual, and it had left him incapacitated for the evening.

With Daphne at the bar and Cade practically asleep, Y/N scooted closer to Jodie. “I fucked up.” She whispered and Jodie’s eyes widened, “Do not tell me you slept with Mar-,” Y/N shook her head quickly, watching for Daphne. “No! Nice vote of confidence, that, thanks. No, I went to Harry’s last night to drop off a pizza, he said he didn’t get to eat so I thought it’d be a peace offering.” Jodie nodded, leaning in closer to hear her better. “He had a girl over.” Y/N murmured, watching as Jodie’s eyes widened again. “Harry did?!” She practically shouted, “Yes, shh! Not too loud, Daphne’s coming back. Mums the word, Jod, I mean it.” Y/N winced at the memory, reliving the humiliation all over again before shooting a glare at her friend and straightened up as Daphne began walking back over.

“What are you doin’ ’ere, Y/N?” He hushed, his breath leaving him at the sight of her. She had a box of pizza in her arms and a hopeful smile. “Y’said you hadn’t ate today, thought I’d bring some pizza for you.” She explained, her eyes holding his for a minute before she began feeling her cheeks heat up. As she looked around to avoid his stare, she caught sight of a jacket on the coat rack and a thin silked scarf. Brown leather, that looked far too small to fit around his broad shoulders. Harry’s stomach dropped, and he felt his mouth go dry. “Thank you, but uh, s’not really a good time. Could I call you tomorrow?” His heart was hammering, thumping through his eardrums. Y/N could feel herself deflate, putting the pieces together. His hair wasn’t dishevelled from napping, he had a girl over and she was interrupting their date. Her eyes widened and she began nodding, “Yeah! No worries,” She assured him and handed him the pizza box. Harry felt like he could die right there, his arms taking the box from her out of shock. Why tonight? Of all nights?

“It’s for you, I uh, already ate.” Come on now, Y/N. Just get out of there already! “Er, right. Talk to you tomorrow.” She muttered again and awkwardly turned to get back down the driveway to her car, walking as fast as she could without obviously running.

Harry watched as she retreated back to the car and groaned, shutting the door. “Everything alright?” His brown haired guest asked, coming down his stairs in one of his shirts. They had hardly gotten very far, really. The doorbell chiming just as the woman, Claire?, had broken their makeout to remove her shirt. Harry sighed, looking to the box and grumbled. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” He managed to make the trip to the kitchen and set the box down on the island. “You ordered a pizza?” She asked, coming up behind him to look from around his shoulder, before taking a sip of her wine. Harry tensed and rolled his shoulders back to get her off them. “Sorta,” He sighed, ”Listen, m’really sorry, but I’m not feeling too well. Could I order a ride share to come pick you up?” He asked, feeling as though his legs were cemented to the floor under him. Her eyebrows furrowed, and he could tell how awkward the air got. “Uh, sure? Are you alright, Harry?”

“Er, not really, m’so sorry but,” He sighed, shaking his head at himself. “I’ll help you grab your things.” He murmured, picking his phone up to order a ride for her. The woman, looking very confused, began to gather her things and slip her boots on. “Did I do something wrong?” She paused when she got to the doorway, looking at him for some better explanation. “No, no, really, believe me. It’s my fault. I’ll give you a call.” He added, chewing at his lip just desperate to get this girl out of his home.

“Anyone know if Harry’s coming by tonight?” Y/N asked, sipping cautiously at her drink as she watched her friends turn their attention to her. She really just wanted to apologise to him for intruding and that she hoped it didn’t ruin his night, as crushing as that reality felt. There was a lot she wanted to apologise for, the list just keeps growing by the day.

Daphne giggled as she returned, clearly having just caught her question. “Well, I imagine he has other friends, Y/N. He’s probably out with them.” She snipped, setting the drinks on the table and took her seat next to her date she decided to bring along impromptu. Y/N grimaced at her answer, of course he has other friends, lots of other friends.

The two girls haven't been on the best of terms, hardly speaking to one another if Daphne didn’t have something snarky to say. Jodie tried her best to dispute any minor arguments, for the sake of the two's friendship. They’ve butted heads before but they’d also gotten over worse situations. The fact that Daphne seemed to be going out of her way to bring it up, had Jodie on edge the past week. And Harry hadn’t texted Y/N nor had he really been seen in the same amount of time. The last time he came out with the group, he had to leave early after he began introducing the group to a random girl he met by the bar that looked a lot like Y/N, even going as far to introduce her as The Nice Y/N, the poor thing, after having a bit too much to drink. From then on, if he did come out, he never stayed long.

“Chill out, Daph.” Jodie spoke up, eyes practically searing at Daphne. “Y’sound jealous.” She giggled, playing it off as a joke effortlessly for her date whose eyes went wide at the accusation.

Most of the group rolled their eyes, preparing for another gruesome catfight between the two girls. Peace was found few and far between nowadays, Daphne just wouldn’t drop it.

The truth was, Harry was out with some of his other friends. A rehearsal party for a wedding in Italy to be exact. One he had planned to take Y/N to when he got the invitation a few months or so prior, but, well… that played out the way it did all on its own.

So, as he sat on his own at the full service open bar, making friends with the hired bartender. “Think I can get another one of those pomegranate things, mate?” Harry asked, having just finished his first drink. “What’s in it, by the way?” The bartender smiled, setting out the bottles he used for the drinks. “Bit of Prosecco, the pomegranate liqueur, and some white rum. Garnish and whatever else.” He shrugged. “Agli sposi è piaciuto molto.” Harry sighed and nodded, taking the drink besides not knowing what he had actually said. “Salute” He said before taking a big gulp. “Make that two of these.” He gritted, raising his glass.

———

“So, did you come here with someone?” Harry asked, staring into his glass. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he’d been sitting on the ground with…Luca, and Luca, as he found out, didn’t speak great English, but he’d been doing well thus far. And surely, it could’ve gone smoother had alcohol not been involved.

Luca’s brows furrowed, shaking his head at him. Harry frowned, trying to remember some basic keywords he tried to learn while on the plane. “Erm…fidanzata?” Harry tried and Luca nodded, turning his head to look for his girlfriend. “Mia ragazza, Vita, è seduta lì. Over there.” Luca repeated in his best English after noticing Harry’s confused look. “Ahh, ‘Ve got a girl, whooo, by the way,” He mused as he sat on the floor by the bar, leaning against the wall for stability. His head falling heavy on his neck as he gave in to his memory, those pomegranate things…or whatever they were seemed to be working their way through him. “Would’ve looked gorgeous tonight. Could’ve outdone the bride-to-be.” He hummed, lifting his head to take another gulp of his drink and loosen the tie around his neck. “Probably best I didn’t bring ‘er after all, isn’t it?” He laughed out, letting his heavy head fall back again, his hand coming up to run a hand through his dishevelled hair. “Would’ve left early, back to the ‘otel,” He hummed, his eyes fluttering closed, “Jesus Christ, she’d give the sloppiest blowj-“ He was interrupted by a sudden weight at his knees. When Harry quickly opened his eyes and looked down, a dog had laid its head on his lap.

As he looked around, the guy he thought he was talking to from the groom’s side was nowhere to be found. “I thought we were bonding, Luca!” Harry laughed out to nobody, his hands scratching behind the dog's ears. “S’a good thing you stopped me, far too young to hear about all that yet. Where’d you even come from?” He laughed to himself.

To: Y/N

I just poured my feelings out to a dog.

Y/N turned over in her bed, her phone buzzing on her bedside table had lifted her out of her pathetic half sleep. She grumbled to herself in annoyance, knuckling at her tired eyes before pushing herself up in the bed. Finding the lamp's knob to turn it on, she reached over to grab her phone.

*Message from Harry*

Her brows furrowed, rubbing at her eyes again to clear her hazy vision before unlocking her phone to view the message.

From: Harry

I just poured my feelings out to a dog.

Y/N let out an involuntary giggle, trying to ignore the daunting question forming in her head as she wondered what exactly that dog got to hear.

She stared at the message for a while, glancing at the time before tapping on the character field to type out her reply.

To: Harry

am I supposed to laugh? because that’s funny

I hope he didn’t bill you for the therapy

Harry chortled embarrassingly as he read her text, staggering down the hall of his hotel until he got to his door. The shock that he normally would have felt, had he not drank as much as he had, was nowhere to be found. If he was sober, he’d surely not have sent any text whatsoever like he bad been doing. He just missed her, annoyingly. Nevermind the aches and pains from the memory, apparently, going more than a week without talking to her hurts more. He rolls his eyes at that, “Go figure.” He muttered to himself.

Once the door was unlocked and opened, he trudged inside, yanking at his tie to slide it off his neck while looking at her reply. “Y’could’ve been here wiv’me.” He mumbled to himself, sighing as he toed off his dress shoes, stepping out to the balcony for a few quick puffs of a cigarette to ease his nerves. Cefalù, Sicily seemed to have gone quiet for the night, apart from some clubs and bars, and a few stragglers still at the beach, surprisingly quieter than he had expected. Harry sighed, looking over the view as he took a drag, snubbing it out and tossing it in the trash before dipping back inside to finish getting undressed for bed.

His thumbs fiddled around his keyboard for a few minutes, and he decided to send whatever echoed in his head, pressing send before another moment could go by and began unbuttoning his dress shirt.

To: Y/N

I wish you could be here.

He had only sent the message just over a minute ago but the anticipation was eating away at him, nevermind the fact that he was pretty drunk from the four, or was it five? He lost track after the conga line. Needless to say, the pomegranate drinks did their job well.

His thumb immediately hit the call button, putting it to speakerphone as he attempted again to undo his buttoned dress shirt. One ring, two rings, three… four… Is this a bad idea?

“Harry?” He could hear her whisper, and he held his breath. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all. She sounded like she was asleep and he brought his hands up to rub across his face. “Shit, m’sorry, I wasn’t thinkin’ about if you’d been asleep.” He started but Y/N was quick to cut him off. “No, m’not, I haven’t,” She sighed, starting her sentence again with an amused giggle. “I hadn’t been to sleep yet.”

Harry hummed, taking a seat on his temporary bed for the remainder of the week. “Havin’ trouble?” He asked hesitantly. She snickered, propping her pillows upright so she could lean against them. “Something like that.”

There was a few seconds of silence, the both of them somehow content with the knowledge that the other was there.

“Did you have something to say, Harry?” She asked timidly, unsure why he was calling her at 3am. She could hear him take in a deep breath on the other line, and she sunk further into her bed as she waited anxiously. “N-Not that I’m trying to get off the call, o-or anythin,” Harry laughed, effectively stopping her rambling. “I really don’t have anything else to say.” He admitted as laid himself down, and tried to ignore the flutter he felt in his stomach when she giggled.

“Why? Because you said it all to a dog already?” She giggled out, the line on the other end going quiet, deathly quiet.

—

“Did you mute me to laugh? Or were you just acting like I was funny this whole time?” She countered, her eyebrows furrowing.

A faint click was heard and Harry’s giggling voice rang through the phone again. “As if you know me.” He laughed out, sighing as he relaxed on the bed. She giggled, pursing her lips as she thought of anything else to keep the conversation going. “Oh! How was the wedding?”

Harry hummed, exhaling as he prepared to answer. “S’tommorow, so we’ll be expected to be fully sober and prepared. Tonight was the rehearsal dinner, or party, or whatever they called it. M’hopin they’ll have more of that pomegranate drink they had tonight.” Y/N snickered, thankful they were on the phone so he couldn’t see the stupid grin plastered across her lips. “I wanted you here with me.” She could hear him murmur and sighed at his admission, her eyes shutting closed as she laid on her bed. “I hope m’not keeping you up.” He spoke again, suddenly remembering there was a time zone difference. Y/N giggled, shaking her head. “No! No, you’re only an hour ahead, Harry. I’m technically keeping you up.”

“Have I mentioned how beautiful it is here? I know m’pretty trashed, but seriously. The pictures don’t do it justice.” She had seen the pictures, the sunsets, the meals, the giggly videos uploaded to a story she was somehow still allowed to see.

Y/N sighed, staring at her ceiling as she listened. “I can imagine, are you near the beach?” She hummed, tucking her legs up closer under the covers so she could turn slightly to look out her window; a true fashioned England thunderstorm was reaching its peak. “Well, I’ve got a slight view where our hotel is, but the wedding will be closer when we head that way tomorrow evening.” He hummed, finally laying in his own bed.

“It’s raining here, thundering, actually.” She sighed, her bottom lip tucking under her teeth as she looked to twirl her rings around her fingers. Harry closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. There were a few nights that they spent together during a storm, some of the best time he’d argue they ever had. The house would inevitably get colder, and they’d have food prepared, movies downloaded and flashlights nearby. Harry would get a fire going in the fireplace, and they’d sit on the couch with all their snacks, waiting the storm out.

Here comes the ache. It felt like shutting down, the way his brain cut that train of thought, the memories. He shouldn’t have called. “I can imagine.” Harry repeated, a low rasp settling in his voice as exhaustion began to set in his body. “Harry?” He heard her soft voice through the receiver, her tone letting him know what was coming. “Y’ought to get some sleep, Y/N.” He sighed, reaching up to turn his light out.

“I’ve tried.” She murmured, clearing her throat after a moment of silence. “Well, try again.” He hummed, setting an arm behind his head. She snickered herself before laying back down in her bed. “Yeah. Goodnight, Harry.”

Harry frowned, brows knitted together before uttering out “Goodnight.” just before the call ended.

“I’m tellin’ you, all of a sudden everyone was gone, and it was just me and the dog!” Harry laughed out, leaning back against the backrest of the booth, listening to the confusion and laughter spread amongst the group.

He looks so good. She couldn’t stop staring at him. Italy did him well, a full tan across his skin. He was truly glowing. Thank God he was telling a story so no one else would notice her absolutely staring at him. And she wished she could pay attention to what he was saying, because everyone was hysterical around her. So much so, that now it was clear she hadn’t been paying attention. She faked a laugh, looking around at everyone else in order to gauge just how funny the conversation got.

“And you didn’t realise everyone was leaving?” Jodie laughed out, a little more than skeptical at his story. “Or the lights dimming?! Music stopping?” Harry laughed and shook his head, “Not at all! Hand over my heart, s’them drinks! Which, I’ll be recreating as best I can because they were phenomenal.” He sighed, going over (to the best of his ability, in hindsight he probably shouldve asked the bartender to just write the ingredients down) what was put in those drinks.

“Italy was beautiful, I mean, everything was gorgeous. The food, the villages, I mean, my God.” Harry sighed, his hand placed over his heart. “I’ll miss it.”

Y/N was busy with her drink when she felt a nudge under the table. Her head snapped up, finding Jodie who had locked eyes with her, a smirk placed on her lips before mouthing ‘worldly experience’. A small gesture to cheer her up, something she had always loved about Jodie. Nevertheless, Y/N rolled her eyes playfully. ‘Rub it in, why don’t you?’ She mouthed back.

“You’d all love it. We ought to rent out a place for a week and all us of go together.” Harry suggested, reaching for his glass to finish off. “Have t’say, wasn’t the same without you guys.”

“Let’s just crash our own wedding.” Cade offered, snickering as he was probably already drunk. “I don’t know anyone getting married, Cade, do you?” Daphne asked, shaking her head at him. “Doesn’t have to be someone we know, Daph,” Jodie piped up, “you’re supposed to check out venues, times and all that. If there's a wedding event, then you go. That’s a properly crashed wedding.”

“But they wouldn’t recognise us! They’d escort us away immediately.” Daphne argued with a huff. “Yeah, but anyone that asks, you just tell ‘em that you’re a friend of either side. Family doesn’t really care about the friends part of the invited.” Cade explained, holding his head up. “Tell ‘em Y/N. She’s done it before.” He grumbled, “If y’dont believe me.”

Y/N giggled, shaking her head at Cade before sliding a glass of water over to him. “We have done it before,” She replied, gesturing between herself and Jodie. “Nobody bothered us.” She shrugged, before standing. “I think Mr. Man over here, needs a burger and chips.” She giggled, Jodie standing as well. “I’ll go with you. Anyone need a top off?” Jodie asked, looking around the group for the show of hands. “Not you, Cade.” She laughed out, before the two made the trip to the bar for the tables orders.

“So,” Jodie started, leaning against the bar while waiting for the bartender to finish their serve. “So?” Y/N laughed out, shrugging her shoulders as she scanned the menu items for a decent burger for Cade. “Sooooo, have you talked to Harry?” She asked again, wriggling her brows at her with a giggle. “Christ, Jod.” Y/N laughed and shook her head, “No, nothing since the phone call.” She sighed and pursed her lips, “Think he’d do that onion and bacon cheeseburger?” Y/N asked, trying to change the topic. “Cade would eat styrofoam if you handed it to him, now, are you planning on talking to Harry?” Jodie pried again, rolling her eyes as Y/N grinned at the bartender, relaying the orders to ignore the question again.

When the barman shot off, Jodie huffed and tapped on her friend's shoulder. “Er, Hello? M’talkin t’you here, sweets.” Y/N groaned, tipping her head back, “What do I say to him, Jodie? Hey, remember our phone call when you were slaughtered after living it up in Italy? Ooh, or, My God, Harry you look great! I wish I wasn’t such a nonce, and we could’ve gone together!?” Y/N rolled her eyes, “No thanks, really, m’fine.”

“Not really a bad start is it? And, you still haven’t talked to him about the pizza incident.” Jodie reminded, watching the bartender talk to the cook in the back. Y/N sighed, her eyes shutting. “Jodie, please..” She breathed and Jodie scoffed, “Don’t give me that, I think he should’ve at least mentioned leaving for a week, after whatever that was. He never explained himself to you.” She asked and Y/N shook her head, “And he doesn’t have to, I had no business being there, and if I had just kept to myself then I’d never have known anyone was with him that night. So, please. I’d like to drop it.”

Jodie sighed, collecting the drinks tray as Y/N reached for Cade’s food before they made their way back to the table, Jodie uttering a quiet, “If you say so...”

“Well, Harry told me earlier that the same night he had Carina over, Y/N had showed up with a pizza.” Daphne murmured to the table, consisting of Jodie, Cade, and Daphne’s date for the night. Jodie’s eyes widened and carefully slipped her phone out to send a message. The group had just arrived at the bar after a pregame party at Jodie and Daphne’s to celebrate Daphne’s birthday, and Harry had just stepped out to the bathroom, thankfully.

To: Y/N

Daphne knows about Pizza Night

“While Harry was with her?” Cade asked, his brows knitted together in confusion. “No, you idiot,” Daphne laughed, “He said she just showed up with a box of pizza while he had my friend Carina over.” She explained and snickered again when she finished. “Why is that funny?” Jodie asked, her tone quick and sharp as she dug in her bag for her lipstick.

“Guess it’s not funny, just, er, unideal.” She giggled again, shrugging her shoulders in response, to which Jodie rolled her eyes. She’d never known Daphne to be so petty in her life, and she couldn’t stand to see it. Just as she was going to correct her friend, Y/N had come bursting through the front doors.

“What took you so long? Ordering pizza?” Daphne snickered as she watched Y/N rush in haphazardly to get to her seat. “No,” Y/n snapped, setting her coat and bag down to the inside of the booth. “Had to take care of some things, my car’s been acting up so I had just now gotten to pick it up from the mechanic.” She breathed, sitting down finally with her forefinger and thumb pinching at a throbbing nerve at the bridge of her nose. “Had to call three rideshares, the first two just never showed up. It’s just been,” Y/N sighed, trailing off as another throb derailed her train of thought. “Well, lemme get you a drink, babes.” Jodie offered, ignoring the wave of Y/N’s dismissive hand as she got up anyway to fetch her friend a drink.

“Ought to get some sleep, all those headaches.” Daphne chirped, shrugging her shoulders as she sipped at her own drink. “Never known you to be late for my birthday.”

Y/N sighed, nodding, “I know, and m’sorry Daph, really. Happy Birthday.” She muttered before sliding over the gift she somehow managed to pick up before the shop closed. “V’been so stressed lately, wasn’t sure if you’d like it but there's a gift receipt if you want to exchange it.” She explained breathily. No matter how bad they had been fighting lately, a birthday is a birthday. A silly promise they made all those years ago but something Y/N took to heart.

“A birthday is a birthday.” Jodie raised her glass to the air, huffing as her friends stared at her before bursting out into laughter. “C’mon, it’s a toast, you idiots!” Jodie groaned as they began to laugh harder. “To what?!” Daphne gasped out in between giggles. “That no matter where we are, different time zones or with one another, mad or not; a birthday is a birthday. And y’can’t miss it.” Y/N wiped her eyes and clutched her stomach, an attempt to calm herself down.

“S’not bad, actually.” She hummed, raising her glass as well before looking at Daphne. “Come on!” Jodie coaxed, grinning as the third rolled her eyes playfully, lifting her arm in the air to gently tip against the others' glasses. “A birthday is a birthday!” Daphne grinned, the three girls knocking their shots back to begin their night.

Daphne’s eyes widened for a moment, reaching across to accept the bag. “I- Thank you.” She breathed out, pursing her lips as she set the gift to the side.

Harry had emerged from the bathroom, stilling slightly when he saw Y/N had in fact made it before continuing to the seat. “You look exhausted.” He said, a frown pulling at his lips at the sight of how tired she actually looked. “I know, I know, they’ve said so.” She sighed, straightening up as Jodie came back with her drink and a chip and wings platter for Cade. “Thank you, I’m poor at the moment.” Y/N laughed, reaching into the chips pile.

“Are you sleeping well?” Jodie asked, nudging her friend's shoulder when she shook her head no. “Keep waking up throughout the night. Might need a new pillow or something.” Y/N explained, sipping quickly at her drink and hoping the conversation would venture elsewhere.

“Maybe if you weren’t showing up at random times to peoples houses-,” Daphne started again, only opening her mouth once more before Y/N lifted her head to look at her. She couldn’t really be this mean? “Then perhaps you’d getting better sleep.” She finished, and Harry froze, swallowing thickly. He never meant for Daphne to use it as informational ammo. Harry cleared his throat, shifting in his seat as he prepared to intervene but Y/N had beat him to it after finishing what was left in her glass.

“Are you done?” Y/N cut, glaring at her. “Shut up about it already, okay?”

“Touchy.” She quipped, giggling as she glanced at Harry. Y/N rolled her eyes, excusing herself from the group to get the next round of drinks.

“I like when Daphne drinks.” Cade laughed when he was sure Y/N was out of earshot earning a smack on the arm from Jodie. Daphne grinned, pretending to fan herself at the praise. “Happy Birthday, to me.” She hummed, reaching for a shot from the centre and downing it. “Wasn’t really that big of a deal, was it? Some advice and she takes off.”

“Y’have to love the theatrics, though.” Harry added, shrugging as he reached over to down a shot as well. Jodie huffed and leaned back in her seat, her legs crossed one over the other as she braced herself to tell the whole group off. “Hardly theatrics, isn’t it.” Said Jodie, as she couldn’t take much more of the banter. “Well, she stormed off over nothing.” Harry huffed and Jodie's eyes widened. “Nothing?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes again. “Don’t act stupid, Harry, you know what Daphne was getting at, and you!” She glared at Daphne, sneering at her even. “That’s far too low for you, you’ve got more class than that.” She added, leaving Daphne with her mouth hung agape.

“S’a fucking ploy, Jod. So, she’s a lil’ embarrassed, she’ll be fine.” Harry reluctantly replied, his eyes darting at the rest of the table as a silent plea for help.

“Oi, I hear her crying in the middle of the night, Harry. S’hardly a ploy. You, of all people, should know what I’m talking about.” Harry, of course, did know immediately what she was talking about, and it made him sick. The first time they got together, what started it all. So long ago, but somehow still as bittersweet as it was now, it was the happiest time of his life. Before he knew, before it was ruined. His jaw clenched, thinking back at it now and remembering it’s not his fault.

“I’ve cried too, Jod!” He argued, his chest beginning to feel the far too familiar ache. Jodie rolled her eyes, with a sarcastic laugh. “It’s your doing! Both of you! Harry, you could very easily get all this over and done with a simple yes or no. Just rip the bloody bandage off already. We all know what Y/N did, and I don’t know why Daph’s so set on making it ten times worse. I don’t feel bad for you, for anyone!” She argued, crossing her arms over her chest. “And Daphne, just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean you get a free bitch pass, not from me anyway.” Jodie finished, leaving Daphne to grumble her response. “You all suck. I want new friends.” Jodie huffed at that, cracking a small smile to ease the tension. “I expect to hear apologies in the next coming days. Cade, you too!” Jodie sneered, grabbing from the chip pile to toss at him, “What did I do?!” He whined, groaning when Daphne grabbed some of the fallen ones to toss at him too. “Shut Up, Cade.”

Jodie sighed, feeling the weight loft from her shoulders now that she’d spoken her mind. “She’s not even there anymore, I don’t see her.” Jodie grumbled as she turned to scan the bar area. “Lemme…” She trailed off, pushing her chair from the table to get up and find her.

When she got to the bar and tried explaining what Y/N was wearing to the barman, she caught a glimpse of her dress in the outside area. “That’s okay, think that’s her outside, thank you anyway.” She said over the music, grabbing for the made drinks and hurried out the door.

“Y/N?” She started, quietly and sighed as her friend's head tipped backwards at the acknowledgement of her presence. “It’s fine, Jodie.” She breathed out. “No it is not. You were supposed to be at the bar, know better than to just disappear.” She scolded, setting the tray of drinks on one of the iron wrought tables sitting on the stone patio, sprawled each way for any patrons needing a smoke break or fresh air.

“Didn’t disappear, paid for the order and thought I’d earned a smoke break. I’ve been running around all day, stressing. Thought tonight would be a nice peaceful distraction, but nooo, not as long as Miss Perfect is around.”

“Miss Perfect,” Jodie laughed at that, “Really, you both act like you’ve never been friends in your life! Over what? Mark of all things?” she added exasperatedly.

“Yeah, well, I tried being nice. Tried a birthday is a birthday, she doesn’t care. Harry doesn’t care, m’over it. I fucked up, and it’s done with. M’tired of feeling like I’m the only one trying to mend my mistake. Feels like beatin’ a dead horse. So, so, so fuck it.” She rasped, bringing her arms around herself as she took another drag. “Fuck it.” Jodie repeated and sighed, “Alright, well, I’ll leave you to yourself then.” And Y/N spitefully laughed out, “Yes, Thank you!” before turning her head to the door to find Jodie had already left.

—

“Did you find her?” Cade asked, lifting his head as Jodie returned with the forgotten tray of drinks. “Yes.” She griped, setting the tray down and returning to her seat. Daphne and Cade carefully reached over for their drinks, watching as Jodie glared at Harry who kept his head down.

Cade nudged Harry, “What?” Harry barked, annoyed he was shaken out of his thoughts. Cade glanced to Jodie and then away again, acting like he heard his name from behind him. “O-Oh, h-hey…. Charlie, haven’t seen you in a while!” He said before scrambling away to the back of the pub.

“What?!” Harry asked again incredulously and Jodie rolled her eyes and pointed to the outside area. “Fix. It. Now.” Harry groaned, pursing his lips. “She doesn’t want to talk with me.” He tried and jumped when Jodie gave a swift kick to his shin under the table. “Alright, alright…” He winced, standing carefully with a slight limp as he hobbled to the side door.

As he opened the door, he brought his arms around himself at the feel of the bite from the wind. And upon a short glance around, he saw her toeing at the cobblestone in the back corner, half burnt cigarette in hand that desperately needed ashed off. He sighed, a little too loudly as she had jumped, spinning around with a hand to her chest. “Jesus, you scared me.” She admitted, and Harry could see she’d had herself a little cry.

“Hey.” He mumbled, his hands shoved into his pockets to keep from pulling her into his arms. He really hated to see her so upset, “You okay?”

“Oh, m’fine, Harry. Thanks.” She huffed, taking another drag of her cigarette after she turned back away from him. “Really, for everything. S’nothing for you to worry about.” She snipped, gritting her teeth together. “I’ll guess, Jodie sent you.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Y/N, about the other night,” He began, taking a step closer. “I, it wasn’t, well-,” He struggled, pursing his lips tight. “S’fine, Harry. Daphne’s right, I shouldn’t have just shown up. Wasn’t my place to do so.” Y/N interrupted, shaking her head. She just didn’t want to know, she felt stupid to have tried a stunt like that to begin with. But Harry continued anyway, “A-and, I didn’t think she’d use it like that when I told her, and! We weren’t like, making fun of you. I was just venting, I felt awful. The timing of it, it was just, it was awful.” He finished, watching her carefully as his hands dug into the material of the pocket of his trousers.

“And, I wanted to erm,” he added, looking at his shoes and began to fuss with a loose cobblestone. “I wanted to apologise, for how I acted the other day. Well, really, days ago now. Er, I know, I wasn’t exactly fair.”

“Please don’t apologise, Harry, I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course a simple sorry wouldn’t have fixed it. I just, I talked with Jodie about it and it- it all hit me that I had it all wrong. And,” She sighed, shrugging it off. “I fucked up, a-and, it’s done for, so, if we could swiftly just er- try and forget?” Her voice began to shake, her lips quivering as she struggled to get the words out. Harry frowned, taking another step closer. “Y/N, I don’t want to forget.” His voice was strong and sure, and she groaned in frustration, “Cor, Harry, I’m so confused.”

Harry grumbled a bit to himself, “Look, just, come back inside. We’ve got all of our friends inside. S’Daphne’s birthday, possibly her last with us, yeah?” He tried to reason, to get her mind of it. He loved her, yes, but he wasn’t quite ready to forgive and forget either. He wanted the opportunity for the pair to get their frustrations out, the dramatic side of him needed to get to the bottom of this. Whether it meant he had to yell, and hear her yell too. He felt it was the most raw way to get to the solution of an argument. Or maybe that he needed to hear that she cared about losing him as badly as he did. That she’d been as miserable as he was.

Y/N stayed quiet, chewing at the inside of her lip. “Know it’s her birthday an’all but, fuck Daphne right now.” Harry laughed a little, reaching a hand out to her. “Come back in, s’bloomin’ cold out here.” She sighed and tipped her head back. “I don’t know, Harry. Think I should just go home.” She admitted, reaching through her bag for her phone. “Noo, really. Stay, please.” He shifted closer and grabbed her bag. “So Jodie won’t chop me up into a million pieces? Because she’s really scaring me.” He added and glanced back through the door to see Jodie staring at them through the glass. Y/N laughed and shook her head fondly at her friend, “She’s come a long way to get that intimidating,” and with a heavy sigh, “yeah, c’mon. it is cold.” Before she could take a step towards the door, Harry stopped her. “We will, talk later, y’know,” He assured, swallowing thickly as he ran a hand through his hair; a poor attempt to retain his newly set boundaries, he thinks. “Later?” She repeated, her brows knitted together. “Yeah, later, s’alot to say, wouldn’t you agree?” He grumbled, something of a curse was all she could make out, yet seemingly annoyed with himself. “I-I do…” She mumbled, even more uneasy than before somehow. “Plus, we’d better head in before the Birthday Girl gets drunk before we do.” He added and Y/N laughed, still uneasy but shrugged it off all the same. “Later works with me, yeah.”

[part i.] [part ii.]

(a/n: WOW its here, and dont even let me BEGIN on tumblr’s mobile editing format bc it SUCKS!! anyway! sorry again for the long wait, and i hope your patience is rewarded with the third part!!! xxx as always, feedback and comments are always appreciated!)

[uninformedartist]

I love how r2 and viv’s response is to just blame people for watching episode 4, no ownership and just dodging responsibility, there was no warning till people were getting mad and upset enough that prime put a warning. Had people not leaked the animated segment of poison and warning people about it than people would have no idea that there was SA.

Again instead of just saying on her platform there was SA in the episode and viewer discretion is advised, viv ran to threads like a coward to shame people for leaking episode 4. and got into a three day triad with SA survivors

Which leads me to believe prime and a24 had no idea there was SA in the show, or that prime is trying advertise HH as an animated musical instead of an adult animated show.

if you have rpe kinks all power to you, but your not being queer progressive for putting into a show and dividing people on what’s ok and what isn’t. The fact tha people are divided and avoid episode 4 or walking on thin ice when it comes to episode 4 shows that it was handled badly. Moral Orel, Tuca and Bertie, silent hill 2 and banana fish, and revolutionary girl utena never had this problem because SA was never shown it was heavily implied and we saw the aftermath and trauma it did to the characters assaulted because the act itself didn’t matter, it was the aftermath and recovery.

This, just all of this. Also sums up a bit on R2's interview aswell (still working on that review).

Ty for this anon.

[224terminal]

⋆｡𖦹 °✩ 𝓉𝒾𝒶𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒.

𓇼 tiamore is a great white shark merman living in captivity at an oceanarium for marine creatures and hybrids. his coloration is mostly varying shades of grey, and he has the messiest black hair ever! unlike the white sclera in human eyes, his are black and he's got the brightest blue eyes you'll ever see. he's also littered in scars and scrapes from various fights in the ocean. a ship propeller injured his dorsal fin, which left him unable to properly swim and stabilize himself in the water, and so he was captured and brought in for rehabilitation purposes. the oceanarium soon realizes it can capitalize on the novelty of an elusive shark merman, so the priority shifts from undercover scientific study to covert priming for entertainment purposes; it's decided he'll be kept there indefinitely).

𓇼 you work there as one of the trainers and your primary area of work deals with sea lions and, on occasion, penguins. they transfer you to his enclosure after he nearly drowned his previous trainer, assuming that you might boast different results because you have a way with animals. you doubt this; sea lions and penguins are not the same as a half-fish, half-human creature who's so much bigger than you and can crush your skull like an egg if he so pleases.

𓇼 tiamore has such a vicious hatred for humans, but can he really be blamed? he's been stuck in captivity for many years now. they're not sure of his exact age, but they estimate he's somewhere in his late twenties. tiamore doesn't bother to provide the humans with any answers or information to their questions, and they don't dare get close enough to ask twice. he's brutal and cutthroat, and yet he let his trainer live (albeit in a very poor, near-death state).

𓇼 you're not very hopeful, but you're the oceanarium's only hope (or so your boss tells you). but this is a lie because your coworker savern is the real animal whisperer. the dolphins love him, especially the mers; he's practically best friends with all of them. they fight over him sometimes, eager for his attention. you envy his ability to effortlessly, authentically charm.

𓇼 unsurprisingly, tiamore hates you the minute he meets you. and you hate him, too, because he has quite the mouth on him and he's so unwilling to compromise with you in any way (although you suppose you wouldn't be willing either if you were in his shoes fins). he's foul and rude and cruel, cutting into you with all manner of insults he's picked up from sailors and scientists over the years. most of your "job" is simply bickering back and forth now as you try (and fail) to coerce him into friendly relations. you're supposed to get him ready for his display exhibit (which is stuck in coming soon limbo because they have no clue when or if he'll ever be ready to be put on display), and tiamore fights this reality with everything he's got.

𓇼 you spend the first month gradually learning to tolerate him and his intelligent, disobedient mouth. he learns you're a recurring pest in his life, but you come to feed him every day and so he can't hate that part of this routine. what he does hate is everything else. you bring stimulating items for him, which are never put to use because he's popped all of the beach balls and snapped all of the diving rings in his frigid disinterest. still, you try. and still he impedes your progress.

𓇼 tiamore is, however, interested in your phone and the pictures you show him after you learn it's the only thing that can shut him up. he's fascinated by photos of butterflies. they're his favorite animal, so you promise to show him more if he starts acting less hostile towards you. tiamore weighs these options: be kind and see butterfly or be hateful and see no butterfly. begrudgingly, he chooses the former. and he slowly warms up to the meals you've started preparing for him on the mornings before your shifts. you're not the best cook (which he notes every time you serve him something that's more burnt than it is cooked, and you threaten to cook him), but he eats it because it's different and new. part of him hopes it'll poison him and he'll never have to live in captivity again because then he'll be dead. alas.

𓇼 you're not sure if this is progress, but it's significantly better than before. now he only calls you stupid idiot, bipedal dumbass, tasteless blood-bag, and lunch three or five times within the span of an hour (insults like those were numbered in the double-digits before). savern certainly thinks it's a step in the right direction when he visits you on your lunch breaks to check in. he's started doing that often, and you're not complaining because he's been your work crush for a while now. tiamore hates him. hates him so, so, so much with the most livid passion. savern is too sunny, too sweet, too smart. savern reads tiamore like a book whenever he's lurking on the surface of the water and scowling at the two of you from the depths of his pool. he refuses to prove savern right, but then he also refuses to dive back under and leave you alone with another human, especially when said human is male.

𓇼 so he swims laps, cutting through the water methodically. his dorsal fin has healed considerably and now swimming isn't as much of a struggle as it was before. he's still left with the scars, though.

𓇼 tiamore considers you something of a companion, so it hurts when you flinch away from him when he compares his large, webbed hand to your smaller one or when he curiously touches your ankles when you stray close to the edge of his pool. you still don't trust him, which isn't so surprising because he did threaten you with death nearly every day, at every hour, during your shifts (and he's such a big, strong predator from the sea). so you have every right to be afraid. that, and he did nearly kill his previous trainer. so it's completely fair for you to fear him, but it's this fear that has you turning to savern for advice. why is he so touchy-feely with you all of a sudden? why is he suddenly interested in your anatomy? why isn't he hissing death threats? what happened to the real tiamore?!

𓇼 not funny because tiamore doesn't truly hate you anymore. you're the best thing to come out of this hellish captivity, so he doesn't mind your presence in his life anymore. he actually (much to his own chagrin) eagerly anticipates seeing you each morning, waiting dutifully in hopes that you'll show up early. he can't believe he actually cares about a human. it's too late to make good on his promise to kill you; he likes you too much to stain the water crimson with your blood and organs. but savern... now that's another story, and he fondly contemplates tearing that man to shreds. it would sadden you, though, so he contents himself with fantasies instead.

𓇼 he's aloof and awkward as he navigates these new feelings. before captivity, he traveled alone in the ocean and he's never had a mate. he's never felt the need for one. he likes being alone and free, two things he no longer has now that he's here in the oceanarium. but you cure his loneliness. you make him happy, even though he'll die before he admits that outright. you make him daydream about freedom, about a future beyond these walls, in which the two of you can be together without the divide of land and sea. maybe it's not possible. maybe it's a wishy-washy, unobtainable dream. that doesn't stop him from thinking about it, though.

𓇼 the oceanarium is filled with all kinds of unique marine hybrids. one of them has recently escaped its exhibit and the staff have exhausted every effort in an attempt to find and catch it. tiamore hears it fluttering in the rafters at night, a sly thing with wings. he hopes it'll fall into his tank so he can get rid of it once and for all and put your worries to rest. tiamore hates it when you worry because your mind is clouded and you don't have the energy or the focus to reserve for your little bantering sessions. he must fix this.

𓇼 his tank is deep enough. you might never know where these problems will go. savern can sit in pieces at the bottom and so can the other noisy distraction. he'll fashion their bones into a little heart and gift it to you one day, and you'll never know.

𓇼 until then he greets you with affectionate insults, watching your human legs carry you up and down the stairs to the platform where the top of his pool waits. this is good enough for now.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

HELLO BELOVED CKB!! I have been restraining myself for months (hypothetical since I have no sense of time) on the topic of fictional characters that remind people of Yves. Because Oh Boy do I have a big one.

Have you seen Vil Schoenheit from Twisted Wonderland? There are so many parallels it makes me go absolutely bonkers. I might get his character wrong but oh well.

- Vil is insanely rich & a model/actor. Very influential and worked his way to that spot. His skincare and makeup routine is fucking impertinent to him; he must look flawless at all times. He makes sure that he is in prime condition and pushes to make sure that the people in his dorm are of similar regimens.

- Vil is based off of the evil queen (he’s not related to her in any sense btw.) He, by nature, is very nitpicky and motherly towards the people that he cares about even though it can be seen by them as smothering and overwhelming sometimes.

- He specializes in making potions and specifically poisons.

- Oh My God he is so mother and honestly one of my favorite characters and so is Yves which honestly says a lot about me. I need help. Canonically calls his right hand man “dear/darling.”

If I had to relate Yves to another TWST character it would be Malleus Draconia but only looks and obsessiveness and the whole “I want to be with you for eternity” thing.

- 🌷

Oh hell yeah i know Twisted wonderland, I follow a couple of blogs who specialized in making Yandere Fics about them, my favourite is Malleus Fuckin Draconia my man. Im pretty sure you can see my type (Long black hair, green eyes, calm, lithe and vampiric types)

I didn't know shit about twisted wonderland at first, I fr thought it was a yandere dating sim, but I had to learn everything bit by bit from the bits and bobs of canon those authors would sometimes post about, so it was like learning a language from scratch.

I was partially interested in Vil Schoenheit, but I guess most of the fics wrote him as mainly focused on his fanbase and not the reader- like he needs the world to have their eyes on him or he will throw up and die. So that kinda killed my yearning boner off for him because reader's attention is not enough and he requires love from the masses too.

Like fr i appreciate the maternalness of Vil, but it just feels... surface level since I doubt he would be interested in personally wiping reader's ass when they're incapable or cleaning up your puke on himself with a straight face without making a big deal out of it.

and IMO i think he's a little too loud, a little too naggy and his nitpicky comes from a place of self service, not really in the reader's best interest. Like Yves would listen to you and observe 100%, whereas its the other way round for Vil, where you gotta drink the yappuchino he serves. Dont come for me Vil simps i think he is swell despite this </3 I just don't think he would be the parallel of Yves </333

but for MALLEUS tho,,, mans a quiet, antisocial loner from what I saw, only yearning for the attention of the reader (or "yuu"), he's super calm, a recluse, and has like 4 friends. I have read fics that painted him in a maternal light that tickled my heartussy, and I guess thas why i like him more. Because to me, I headcannon he would take care of you himself as if you're paralyzed from the head neck down without complaints or feeling icky when he gotta handle with human bodily fluids. He would mostly listen and observe, maybe infodump about gargoyles but I think he would be a closer match to Yves than Vil in vibes and looks.

Though might wanna consider Jamil Viper from Scarabia, he hates standing out and mans was always depicted as the caretaker to Kalim. And I would like always have the biggest crush on him because,,, hehe caretaker

But he does so begrudgingly and like has a deep hatred for Kalim, I was like damn what if he loves caretaking for me,,, that isn't gonna happen because Jamil comes from a background of injustice and he isn't going to like being subjected to the role forced upon him since birth,,, aha ... unless...

and he's hella smart, but he's moving in silence just like Yves, gritting his teeth but keep on trucking no matter how angery he is. He is calm and quiet, and he listens because he need that information to succeed in his goals, but my delulu ass would be like omg he is so attentive

but theres that spite in Jamil that do be present in Yves though, ironically I would say that Yves is closer in character to Malleus and Jamil than Vil, but i could be just biased and say that because of both appearances are similar to that of Yves rn (Malleus and Jamil has like long, straightish dark hair and them sharp eyes)

[felinecryptid]

Helo ji thoda chaipunk milega?

Plij.

-apka naya pankha

Two hearts in a chest, it's ours

Pav stared at the clock, its second hand seemingly ticking slower and slower every dragging second, trying to keep his heavy eyes open.

There wasn't any villain out last night, no, nor did Hobie crash his precious beauty sleep, but this teacher was not making any sense with his stupid fucking chemical formulae for finding the mass percentage of whatever new substance he was talking about this time and Pav was wishing the fan over his head into falling on him.

His eyes drooped, as he sat with head balanced on his hand, in the semblance of a posture of utmost attention. Maybe he should just sleep, it wasn't like the teacher was going to notice anyway-

THUNK! came from the window on his left. He startled out of his seat, nearly tripping on the strap on his school bag, cursing under his breath and turned to see the offender.

There was nothing on the window sill. But Pav knew better than that. He stood up, pretending to look for his pen, and glanced over. Sure enough, the dark wicks of a certain spider punk was visible just below the sill.

"Excuse me sir, may I use the washroom?" Pav raised his hand. The teacher didn't even look at him as he nodded his yes, busy writing down measurements of fuck-if-he-knew, and Pav booked it out of there.

He turned left to the stairwell instead of right to the washrooms and descended down where the faulty surveillance cam overlooked the landing and the tiny window between the second floor and third floor. That cam worked in fits and starts; a red light indicated if it was working. To Pav's rare luck with it, there was no red light to be seen and he quickly vaulted out of the window, coming almost nose-to-nose with Hobie.

"What the fuck Hobie, why are you lurking like that?" Pav whisper-screamed, heart thudding mile a minute from the proximity. He could see Hobie's individual eyelashes from there. Pav's face heated up and he was thankful for the fact that a blush wasn't easily visible with his skin colour.

"'m not lurkin', mate, you're jus' distracted," Hobie replied with an easy smile, making Pav's stomach do funny somersaults. It was a common occurrence, and Pav tried his best to not let it get the best of him. With questionable success, because he frequently found himself daydreaming about Hobie, how his hair would feel through his fingers, the way his lips moved when he talked in that stupidly cute accent of his, the feelings he got with Hobie's arm around him. This was accompanied by doodling hearts around their names at the back of his notebooks, like he was not scared of the consequences of his teachers discovering the said artwork and calling home.

"Shut up," Pav said, his face still warmer than normal, because they hadn't moved apart for the entire duration of Pav's inner train of thought, much to his secret delight. "Why are you here at my school? Someone could have seen you!"

"I wan'ed to see my favourite li'l swot, so I came," He leant in closer, his voice deeper, "Can't I do tha'?"

Pav swallowed unconsciously. "You definitely can, but I have to get back to class, we're starting a new chapter."

"C'mon, love, you looked like you were moments away from conkin' out."

"I wasn't, I would never sleep in class."

"Mmhm, and 'm the next prime minister o' the Great Britain," Hobie sniggered and Pav punched him in the arm.

"I wasn't going to sleep, the class is just so boring!"

"All the more reason to skive off, I promise to not drone on and on to bore you to sleep," Hobie side-eyed him, the corner of his mouth turned up in a grin and Pav was gone. "What say?"

As if Pav could ever say no to Hobie, as if he could ever bore him, like Pav didn't feel like a live wire, humming with electricity when they were close, very close, and he could swear something was gonna happen-

TRRRRNNGG! The discordant bell rang out though the corridors of the school building and the miniscule space they had between them, widening until they were centimetres apart. Too much apart. The distance between them felt like a chasm of longing but. He could fix it. He could skip the rest of the school day, even though Nandan would ask him where he disappeared off to.

Hobie looked at him, eyes filled with an emotion Pav dared not to name and a hope that he'd say yes. Pav was glad to not disappoint.

"Let's go."

___

this isn't very long but i wanted to get it out of my brain before i got too busy to post again

i might continue this later but hope you like it, ravi✨✨

title (translated) from itni si baat hai by arijit singh

(goldenpunk playlist i made)

[hyuukais]

okay so i just finished The Sun and The Star and thus am plagued with thoughts of demigod au’s so here are some of the thoughts:

(some of this is also inspired by The Star Seekers lore and what not)

Yeonjun: okay so,,,i’m kinda torn between child of ares and child of aphrodite. on the one hand there’s that firey almost aggressive drive and ambition. his agility and strength pose a threat on both the battlefield and the dance floor. then there’s also his,,looser temper. however, a lot of that can also translate over as a child of aphrodite. his intense passion and overwhelming compassion. his love and passion for performing such a prime motivator to continue pushing himself. a huge heart with so much love for all those in his life. Not to mention his interests in fashion and beauty and creating statements with clothes (or his flirting on weverse). children of aphrodite do also have their snappy moments as well. which is why i’ll say Yeonjun is a Child of Aphrodite.

Soobin: okay, so, i was actually having a rEALLY hard time with soobin. originally i thought perhaps athena, natural-born leader, but that didn’t feel entirely right. then maybe hephaestus? but definitely not right either. Demeter is a little too child-of-the-earth for him and Iris just doesn’t seem to work. Of course in Star Seekers soobin is an archer, but even Apollo doesn’t feel right. It was only after talk with someone else that it kind of settled where he belonged. Now, it’s be a little weird for a demigod to be unfit for the domain of their parent, but it’s not uncommon. In fact, many children’s mortal parents will actually instill fear of their godly parents element as though it will keep them safe. It’s odd that soobin, despite his inability to swim, comes across most accurately as a child of poseidon. however, the sea is equal parts powerful and terrifying and calm and comforting. a gentle giant, an imperfect leader, introverted and rarely commanding, but caring and willing in all of the ways needed. he reflects well in the push and pull of the tides. plus, getting the entire cabin to himself is kinda perfect. also, horse girl soobin 🤷 thus ends my long-winded, hard-to-decipher reasoning as to why i think Soobin is Child of Poseidon.

Beomgyu: gyu’s very base disposition is rather quiet and muted when you aren’t as close. as soon as you get to peel back layers you find the playfulness everyone talks about. Teasing is a form of affection yet he’s never devoid of kindness and a warm smile. Despite his nature as an introvert, he’s a very good addition to any welcoming committee. Also, the intelligence of children of Hermes is so often undermined despite them being incredibly resourceful and smart, both traits of Beomgyu’s that are commonly ignored. He has a compassion and sense of empathy that aligns well with those who take in all travelers, all those lost or forgotten. somewhat similar to a lost boy, beomgyu finds friends and family in everyone, with time of course. Hence why i think Beomgyu is a Child of Hermes

Taehyun: in an effort to not reduce Taehyun in to the tired “only braincell” stereotype, i wanted to avoid categorizing him under Athena. And after some consideration, i have come to a conclusion. Tyun is smart, he’s seen to be a very logical thinker and seems to have a lot of trivial knowledge. He has great emotional intelligence and physical strength. In any case, he would be able to fight a battle with both brain AND brawn. He’s an eloquent speaker with a dry sense of humor and a teasing nature. It’s a wonderful encapsulation of both a scholar and a fighter; someone known for knowledge AND strength on the battlefield. It’s often forgotten that those are both things honored in Athena’s name as the goddess of knowledge and warfare. Therefore, i think it’s very fitting to place Taehyun as a Child of Athena

Hueningkai: i think it’s really often forgotten that hueningkai is quite literally a musical prodigy. Drums, Guitar, piano, & vocals!!! Like that one clip of him casually playing Beethoven while talking about pikachu stickers ?!?!?? not to mention his almost sunshine-like disposition. there’s absolutely zero question as to whose kid he is. sure,,he could stand to improve his first-aid skills but, in times of need, there is no better quality than his compassion for every person in need. however, not even training from his father himself could save Kai’s archery skills 💀 of course, all of the members are incredibly talented artists, but Kai’s musicianship is on such a level i have no choice but to say he must be a Child of Apollo.

[hsslilly-blog]

hiiiiii. i see your vision. tell us more about the fallout au pls <3

so! i think it should be set on the west coast because 1. i like the desert aesthetic 2. it could crossover with hollywood u at some point and 3. nishan big mt. the vault could be in southern california and numbered 105 (no of main quests in hss prime, minus the tutorial). not all the main characters are vault dwellers (the other ones are already in the wasteland). vault 105 dwellers: the mc, wes, sakura, autumn, julian & ezra. for now. this got really long so the rest is under the cut!!!

okay so i think this vault’s experiment would work like this: three dwellers would be appointed overseers every few years by the vault’s mainframe computer, picked from the overall vault population; each of these overseers would come from different “parts” of the vault though, depending on their assigned jobs. that way, each overseer would have a different personality, which would (eventually) clash as they make choices regarding the vault. this is how we get autumn, julian and sakura as overseers in the au.

the objective here is to see how this would even work. would these people find a way to work together? would they fight?(yes) how does a vault ‘controlled’ by three people even look like? would they listen to the other dwellers? would there be factions/divisions? the biggest ‘test’, then, would be: how would these three people act/react in a high stakes situation that could put the entire vault at risk?

a random person from the vault gets irradiated, somehow. the problem: this vault is missing the P.I.E. (post-irradiation equipment) device (in universe they call it a device like people say atm machines), which is Something vault-tec designed to be used in this exact situation. someone gets irradiated, they use this thing to buy them time until the vault doctors can quarantine this person/give them medicine/external help can arrive. but like i said, this vault doesn’t have one because of the experiment. so this is literally the one situation that couldn’t happen in this vault.

oh also! this person cannot be related to any of the three overseers. this way they don’t Really have a motivation to help this person. just sacrifice them or whatever for the greater good. BUT i think the person wouldn’t be That Random. the person who gets irradiated is actually someone the vault is very dear of/very popular. WHICH! fits the game.

in the pizza day quest you can choose between ezra or shane to go to the storage room. both very popular/well liked in game! and after Reflection. i think it should be ezra who gets irradiated because it would give wes motivation to go out with the mc. in the “best” case scenario, his best friend turns into a ghoul (and they don’t even know wtf is that). in the worst one, he dies and dooms the entire vault with him.

so ezra gets irradiated. the vault doctors can’t get near him to help him bc they don’t have the P.I.E. device. killing him is obviously impopular, but also doesn’t solve the issue of him being radioactive and possibly irradiating the rest of the vault as well. so sakura orders him to get isolated/quarantined in the vault’s prison cells/section. the other vault dwellers ofc love ezra and don’t want him to die, so they try helping him in ways they can (like, ezra still has to eat and stuff). and then it’s kinda like the quest and sakura keeps escalating things and punishing people for trying to help him. the other two overseers start to disagree but they can’t do much because they’re scared of sakura!!! lol. she has ‘alerted’ vault-tec and is certain that help is on the way (it is not) so people need to CHILL (said as she locks up another person).

the mc and wes get in contact with another vault (they get into the overseers’ office somehow. it’s wes) so they can get another P.I.E. device. kinda like the plot to fo1. the difference here is that the two of them are doing this behind sakura’s back and essentially escaping the vault. so they do that. what do they find on the wasteland. errrmn…. things. meanwhile the situation at the vault keeps escalating with sakura + ezra is still at risk of contaminating the entire vault so they’re running against time.

there are a few holes but that’s what i had thought of!!! i haven’t decided in which point of fallouts timeline it’d take place. maybe somewhere between fo2 and new vegas? so the ncr is already a thing in california and many vaults have already opened up.

[zoppzoop]

knock knock, did someone order a monthly check up? bcs hello!!! i hope ur good lish!!! pls tell me 5 of ur favorite things ur enjoying or doing these days, songs or anything! hope ur taking lots of rest, and eating well! also, just wanted to say ur art! sooo cool i cant believe everytime im mutuals w such an amazingly talented person! have a wonderful time for ur coming birthday too, hope ur well!! (solar)

also ps: can u pls remind me again when ur birthday is i think its on 25th may? but i forgot to mark somewhere and now i forget and keep forgetting everyday and sit in this imaginative horror of oh wait fuck did i miss it ??? tha nk

RAHAHHHH HI SOLAR <3333 i absolutely love you and your monthly check ins <3333333

5 things ive been enjoying lately? hmm 1. I caught up with shadows over welde and am going absolutely bonkers over it (its another dnd campaign who wouldn't guessed skldjfa) 2. been drawing a lot as usual! but haven't really been able to finish anything other than comms because well,,, artblock kinda </3 gonna get my ipad soon so that's something im looking forward to!! 3. rn im watching prime defenders (another jrwi campaign) and WHEEEEE its so fun!!!! 4. picked up my guitar again after a long time so that's been fun! my fingers hurt so much more tho but hhhH practice might help that and 5. I've also been catching up with dungeon meshi and 'the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all' which is an amazing manga and Im absolutely in love with the characters and the art

ALSO ksldjfkds solar,, i am so sorry to break it to you but my birthday already passed T^T dkjfasdlk it was on 14th ddjlskdf BUT REALLY THO DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT MISSING IT KSDLJLFSDF ITS COMPLETELY FINE!!!!!!! <333333333

[lazyollie]

Hi guys!

I posted a long time ago now. I didn't thought that someone could like my posts.

So I brougt an edit

Tiktok: @noriithelol

It's from Transformers Prime season 3.

I was the only one who think Smokescreen here flirted with Bumblebee? I mean smokey told him tha bee is a good fighter. He also asked he ever wanted to be a Prime. I haven't watched this episode in English.

In Hungarian Smokescreen's voice was flirty with Bee here. And when bee pointed he's guns right onto Smokescreen he's glare softened and said "I want to be like you". HE'S LOOK WAS SO LOVELY.

I don't know what to think about this episode but hell I kinda felt that Smokescreen was flirt with Bumblebee.

Maybe I want to see something in between them.

[truegodofthearena]

Only thing making me excited for Mein is the OST. Love it. Time will tell if it’s a typical love story or if wahaj and ayeza have good chemistry. Hard to tell from the teaser. Big bang is known for its wonderful OSTs, visually stunning teasers but then the drama is such a let down. Mujhe Pyaar Howa Tha being a prime example of that.

Not to mention Wahaj Ali’s character Zaid seems like it’s going to be Saad in a suit living in Murtasim’s haveli. I hope I’m wrong and that the show and chemistry of the leads is refreshing rather than repetitive story telling. Haven’t seen ayeza’s other work so this will be a first for me, and fresh outta tere bin and yumna’s spell binding chemistry with wahaj, Mein might be a hard sell, but I’m holding out hope still. This pairing can’t be worse than Yumna and Humayun in the Gentleman coming up soon too.

Tere bin has effectively ruined expectations in terms of chemistry when it comes to wahaj and Yumna for me lol. How will I unsee murtasim in that haveli living as zaid and in love with someone else besides meerab ? How ? 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

[deanstudies101]

4x22, Lucifer Rising

Critical theory: Fate, fathers, faith, futility. 

Discussion point/question(s): Is the moment Cas says “we’re making it up as we go” the moment Dean falls in love? What do we think of the symbolism of Dean pushing the angel statue? 

Key quotes: Bobby, “You are a better man than your daddy ever was. So you do us both a favour. Don’t be him.”; Cas, “Yeah, well, we’re making it up as we go.” 

Further reading: “Yeah, well, we’re making it up as we go.” (@xofemeraldstars)

Dean pushing the angel to fall (@spnyouresostupid)

Remember, Cas moves because he lets Dean move him (@spnyouresostupid)

Cas lets Dean manhandle him. (@redwing via @deanwinchesterwebsite)

4x08 Lilith’s head on a plate / the wishes turn bad (@fictitiouslysane)

Dean’s lil head nod to show that he trusts Cas (@anakinism)

Discussion: 

Where is the rest of the episode? They didn’t finish the episode. [This is a goof... kind of.] 

[Do you feel scammed? Are you actually angry?] No, not angry. All the plot twists were hitting just right. Ruby, you’ve kinda seen it coming the whole time. It isn’t even a cliffhanger— [that is a cliffhanger!] But they didn't resolve anything. [I mean, Sam killed Lilith. They resolved that.] Why did they do that? Why did they leave it like that? [Because… Do you wanna watch the next episode?] Obviously (Iga) / yes but out of spite (Kai). Kai is actually legitimately angry. Iga thinks this is a good end to the season. 

[The Dean trust gif]. Dean trusts Cas entirely, as soon as Cas hits the defiance switch, and Dean always knows when it is. The moment when Cas looks away and Dean dips into his eye line to bring him back is so so good. 

[Cas lets Dean turn him around.] Kai, I can see why people went insane over these two. Because the only two people Dean has that level of trust with is Sam and Bobby, and he’s known them for years. He’s known Cas a few months. [And we still get the line "we’ve been through much together, you and I."] And they haven’t even been through that much. This was their first season together. [You have no idea.]

Can only imagine Sam’s thousands of trains of thought, Ruby’s manipulation, every time Dean questioned his judgement. He must feel so stupid. But Ruby was incredible. She played him so well. The Sam and Ruby / Dean and Cas parallel—Dean and Cas can read each other so well. Ruby can read Sam. Sam can’t read Ruby. And it was just her and Lilith. [And that is incredible. No one else knew! Alistair didn’t know!] And he tortured her! [She could have died!] But also at the end of the day it was right in front of them the whole time. Oh this demon has come to help you right as Azazel died? But they’ve had ‘monsters’ blur the lines before, Sam was primed to buy into this. Dean is more complicated, but he does get it sometimes too… but he never really trusted Ruby. They worked together one time and clearly hated it. Dean has always been more mistrustful of monsters, to be fair, which is why Sam dismissed him. It’s easy to see how it played out this way, but at the end of the day… Dean never trusted her. 

[I will say. Dean wasn’t wrong but also he was wrong, you know? He was right about Ruby, but like. He used the wrong equation and got the right answer. And we all know he handled it wrong.] He made friends with that one demon and asked Sam not to kill her, and then Sam killed her. Ruby was around the whole time, saved Sam’s life multiple times, and still didn't buy it. [Yes, but I don’t think you’re factoring in the protectiveness enough. Dean maybe could trust a demon when he was alone in the room with the demon, but this is Sam. Maybe he saw the influence she had on him, and that’s what scared him.] But… he was right to be fair. She was influencing him. Iga is 100% on Dean’s side on this one. He never trusted her, and he was right. [I do agree, he was right not to trust her. But Sam did. And by not trusting her, Sam sees that as Dean not trusting him. And again, maybe he was right not to here, but that just pushed Sam further and further down that path.] 

Kai, not only were both of them the only ones who could start the apocalypse, but they were the only ones that could’ve stopped it, they were almost able to get through to each other. Iga, them being apart caused the apocalypse, them being together could’ve stopped it. 

[Angel statute.] Kai, catboy behaviour. [Yes, but..?] (They’re scared.) [Say it. Someone say it.] Kai… I don’t know… He broke the angel? He made the angel fall? [He made the angel fall. Yes, he also broke it. He made it fall, and it broke] He was breaking things. But when he looked back they were fixed. But when he looked back at the angel statue, it never got fixed. It stayed fallen. 

When Cas showed up again, it was right as Dean had given up. In hell he was too late, but he’s learnt. [Oh.] They were technically also too late here. [But he got Dean out.] 

[Would anyone like to speak on Dean’s face at “we’re making it up as we go”? Or, indeed, “you’re a better man than your daddy ever was.” ?] 

[Better man.] He made a face. No one has ever said that to him. And his real dad said it to him. Part of him didn’t believe it. [I think a lot of him didn’t believe it.] He doesn’t feel up to the task. He doesn’t feel strong enough. He made the right decision, he reached out and tried to fix it. 

[Making it up.] We could see shit changing on the computer etc. but we already saw in the previous episode that they can’t change their fate, the situation just adapts to make fate still happen. [See I disagree. To me they did change something. They were never supposed to be there, they still broke out. Yes, they failed, but… they did something.] But the theme of the whole show is being stuck in the narrative. [I’m gonna say something spoilery. You’re not wrong. That is a/the theme. And by the end of the show, you’re right and I’m wrong. But, at the time this was written, the time this came out, I think I am right. They broke out of the narrative, they defied fate. It’s just, by the end of the show… no they didn’t.] So it was almost good writing. [Yes.]

The angels are funny though. The angels—at least the higher-ups—have been pro-apocalypse the whole time… because they’re bored? Is it because they’re bored? 

Notes: Iga in Sam’s position would also smash. 

[shadesofawe]

Here's how I kept stumbling over Neil Gaiman until it brought me to the madness that is this fandom:

It all starts with Terry Pratchett. I read and enjoyed a number of discworld books as a teenager in the late 90s. Fast forward to March 2015 when I read about Sir Terry's death. I decided to honor him by reading another of his books and checked what was available on my kindle (that I had just gotten for christmas). The first novel that I didn't already know was Good Omens. I was sceptical because it was co-written by (my thoughts then:) "Neil Gaiman? Who's that random guy? Never heard of him..." but I gave it a try. I laughed. I laughed harder. It made me think. Then laugh again. We had a good time, me and the book.

I was a parent to two smallish kids. I started a new job. I broke up with the spouse. I didn't get to read much anymore. But a few years on, I read an article mentioning Coraline (the movie) in a parenting magazine. My kids were the right age and we watched it. It was the right kind of scary. I didn't connect it with Neil Gaiman at the time.

I still didn't have much time to read and slowly started getting into podcasts and audiobooks. I listened to Neverwhere while cleaning house and loved it. I decided to remember the author's name. (I did not remember it being the second name on the Good Omens title page.)

On a flea market I bought a copy of The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide. I knew and loved Douglas Adams from my teenage years but hadn’t read him in English. I read the foreword and found it to be written by - Neil Gaiman.

In early 2019, a friend convinced me to buy tickets for an Amanda Palmer concert later that year. (She wasn't even familiar with her music but loved her for The Art of Asking.) In preparation, I started not only listening to her music, but reading all kinds of stuff about and from her on social media. Apparently she was married to apparently famous author Neil Gaiman. Hey, I knew that guy! My friend, with a degree in American literature, said "Oh yeah, he wrote American Gods." I read American Gods. I loved it. I listened to Anansi Boys. I loved it. (This needs to be said: The concert was gut wrenchingly fabulous. I cried. I cheered. I fell in love with Amanda Palmer.)

Mind you, despite Neil Gaiman already on my radar, in autumn 2019 I had managed to not know about Good Omens (the show). I was randomly looking for something to watch on Amazon Prime to distract me from, you know, „the horrors“. (Somehow I hadn't used it much for streaming before.) There was a show that looked bright and colourful and quirky. And wasn't that the Doctor Who guy? I casually started watching and the story seemed familiar... wait, I read that book! By Terry Pratchett and - oh shit, that's the same Neil Gaiman!

There was no casual watching. I binge watched. I rewatched. I made my kids watch. I made my mother watch two episodes when she came for a visit and then gifted her the DVD for Christmas. She loves it, she loves season 2 even more.

Anyway. It was only with the show that I really started 1) connecting the dots ("the one who wrote Coraline") and 2) digging into it, looking for more stuff. (Not only Neil's though. You all know the drill.) I have been obsessed before, but I haven't been in a fandom before. I like it. The Brainrot is still going strong.

What's the point of all this? The point is: Dolphins. Tha‘ s ma point. It’s  great to discover new stuff to like (books, music, movies, but also skills, crafts, arts,…). It’s awesome to discover stuff you might have liked much earlier in your life but somehow missed out on. It’s so much fun to obsess over something to the point it leads you to discover entirely different, new things. The point is: Share your excitement, be excited around people you like. At ~40y I found myself bonding more with my Mother over Good Omens. My kid became an avid Discworld reader. In return, I got introduced to Percy Jackson. Spread the joy, be excited together.

Whoever managed to read that far: If you like, please share an unexpected joy your Good Omens or Neil Gaiman obsession has led you to. I know, there are many examples. Just pick one. I´ll start: without following Neil Gaiman on tumblr, I wouldn´t have bought a ticket for the Magnetic Fields, and I would never have discovered the music of Darren Hanlon (who was support act).