#love tenrose i do but this is just the truth

[r0setyler]

the doctor regenerating into a younger "hotter" man "for rose" will never not be funny. it's written off by rtd, the doctor, and the fandom as being this big thing for rose when in reality it was because it was more societally acceptable for the doctor to look younger and hot when traveling with a blonde companion love interest. now if the doctor really wanted to turn into someone LOOKS WISE for rose, he would've regenerated into 8, and in this essay -

[quite-right-too]

I know I've posted about this before but I can't stop thinking about how Everyone But You by The Front Bottoms is ABSOLUTELY TenRose post Doomsday from Ten's POV.

Got into a bit of a state last night Deleted every contact in my life Built a fire in my mind, went back inside

The consequence is coming, I still have yet to learn That every little thing helps the fire burn

It doesn't get worse, it doesn't get better You just get old, it lasts forever

Can't get happy, can't get sad It's hard to do

When I hate everyone but you Everyone but you It's hard to do When I hate everyone but you Everyone but you

I fell in love 'Cause no one saw me the way you did And no one's seen me that way since But for a short time that's how I lived

Can't get happy, can't get sad It's hard to do

When I hate everyone but you Everyone but you It's hard to do When I hate everyone but you Everyone but you

I stay home Just to get locked in different rooms It's the presence that you feel I swear it holds some type of truth

Can't get happy, can't get sad It's hard to do

When I hate everyone but you Everyone but you It's hard to do When I hate everyone but you Everyone but you

[quite-right-too]

Here's my list of longer TenRose fics that I love!

The Lame Shall Enter First by @lastbluetardis

Rose could not be gone. He still needed her. He was a bloody Time Lord, after all. The laws of the universe obeyed him, the universe owed him, and this time, he would not sit idly by while everything he loved was taken from him.

Bloodstream by @thirdeyeblue

The Doctor and Rose are taken captive on a planet ravaged by a mysterious illness. In order to be freed, they have to cross major boundaries in their friendship. Forced into physical intimacy against their will, they’re left to confront the true nature of their relationship... And save the world, of course.

Calluses by @elialys

"There’s a man in a blue suit standing somewhere behind her, a man wearing a face she loves, who whispered all the right words, yet she doesn’t know what to do."  Immediate follow-up to 4x13, in which the (metacrisis) Doctor and Rose deal with the physical, emotional and psychological fallouts of having been left behind at Bad Wolf Bay.

Careful Surrender by @tenscupcake

Shaken after the events on Sanctuary Base of Krop Tor and haunted by the memory of losing each other, the Doctor and Rose are driven into each other's arms. As they begin to tear down the meticulously constructed walls the Doctor has built around their relationship, he is forced to confront the reasons he put them up in the first place, but the demons of his past stifle his attempts to open up to her. The pair walks a tenuous line on the threshold of emotional and physical intimacy, and though tension builds and their frustration intensifies, neither of them is entirely prepared for what may happen once they travel beyond the boundaries of friendship.

Electrostatic Potential by @tenscupcake

As the Doctor and Rose traverse time and space looking for adventure, they slowly fall victim to a mysterious energy that can manipulate their emotions. Though confused and unnerved by the cerebral affliction, neither of them understands its cause, or realizes that it could jeopardize their friendship. What will it take for them to discover the truth?

Finding Forever by Hawkerin and @thedoctormulder

At the very last moment, Rose found another handhold to save herself from falling into the Void. Can she and the Doctor manage to live the forever that she promised?

Forever Found by Hawkerin and @thedoctormulder

The Doctor and Rose seem to have found their forever as they settle into married life and Rose gets used to the changes in herself. Prophesies abound, though. And why are the bees disappearing?

Knock Three Times by @jellyneau-xo

Two perfect strangers wake to find themselves being held in adjacent prison cells with no memories of who they are or how they got there. It isn’t until they are faced with agonizing trials that push the limits of self-sacrifice to new horrific heights, that they realize just what they’re facing and how much they will need to trust each other in order to survive.

One Crowded Hour by @allegoricalrose

"Doctor? Why am I crying?" An hour is missing from both of their memories and Rose is pregnant: the repercussions.

Sick by @jellyneau-xo

The Doctor is floored by a devastating illness, but Rose is the one who’s suffering.

I adore TenRose fanfics, but why is it that most of them are one-shots or short-fics???? There are so much to explore within their dynamic/relationship and I feel like the fandom sleeps on it. I wish there was more lenghty—E-Rated, slowest of the burns, angsty as all hell, with lots of miscommunication and pining type of TenRose novels.

[sherl-grey]

sherlgrey’s fic masterpost (as of 6.28.22)

hello! as predicted i completely forgot to post this on time, haha. it’s been just over a year since i joined AO3 and six months since I last updated this list, so i figured it’s time for a new one. i unfortunately do not know how to edit hyperlinks via html and am far too lazy to learn how to add that many stories in so alas, i am just making an entire new post. here's to hoping next time i can add thirteenrose to the color list :) 

color key:  fiverose || eightrose || ninerose || tenrose || tentoorose || elevenrose || twelverose

in progress:

the rose-pond swap || my mind turns your life into folklore || the weight of words

timepetals playlist series:

fingers and thumbs, baby || your light it follows me in darkness || gravity like a lunar landing || an island in the flood || the music's for the sad man

prompts and requests series:

but it's all coming back now, like the feeling isn't over || you can have the best of me || an island in the flood || the music's for the sad man

September Fic Marathon series (for DoctorRose Fic Marathon):

Wolves and Thieves || reflections and resolutions || if you're holdin' onto me, you're holdin' onto nothing || one rose in the forest || mirror, mirror || this christmas i'll give you a star; next christmas i'll give you them all || The 5 Love Languages: How to Communicate with Your Boyfriend || all because of you || into the who-niverse || if i am to fall, i'll land at your feet || you made your bed (now lie in it) || The Siren Call || when the best is yet to come || enamoured || Barcelona: Where No Doctor Has Gone Before! || truth be told

the collector’s shelves series:

a more literal method of compartmentalization || a more literal transformation of liminal spaces

other competed standalones:

Meeting in the Middle || and the journey never ends || long-forgotten futures and unexpected pasts || forever, out of order || love don't roam, but occasionally it wanders off || want to give you something better than i've been || stuck in a moment || the less time that I spend with you, the less you need to heal || Seeds of Forever

[nicollekidman]

abby can you talk on how deancas and tenrose are the same?

okay so i need to preface this with the usual…. cannot believe i am enlightened enough to be seriously discussing this in the year 2020, but i’m happy for my teen self. also there is about to be a lot of unhinged earnestness to follow, so if you’re easily succebtable to cringe… don’t read on. ALSO RIP I WROTE 1800 WORDS about just the most general and nonspecific concepts…… brb k wording myself 

first off i think it’s so funny that i just went back and looked and i typed cas/ten as a one and dean/rose as a six completely independently so… that’s where my head is at. 

i think the meat of the issue is the way that tenrose and deancas function both in relation to the overall narrative and each other. there are many differences of course, but at the end of the day, both relationships are positioned as the ultimate working example of what their shows are trying to be About. 

i could write an entirely separate essay on the intersections between cas and the doctor, but essentially…… these are figures introduced to the audience as Beyond Human Understanding. they exist as celestial beings unconstrained by the rules of space and time, more closely connected to god than humanity. we meet the doctor farther along in his journey than castiel, but both of their character arcs are rooted in a Godlike Creature observing humanity and becoming enamored with it/driven to protect and care for it. by the time the doctor meets rose, it is well established that he has a soft spot for humanity, she’s not the one who teaches him that. but she is the one he reaches out to and leans on for support and healing post-time war, and she is the one who influences ten’s regeneration so deeply that he is made in her image/for her. castiel rebuilds dean atom by atom is hell, and upon rescuing him from the pit, finds himself similarly irrevocably altered. it is revealed to us that castiel also has had a long affection for humanity, but nothing swayed him from his ultimate duty before he met dean. and just as the doctor finds himself with a family for the first time after gallifrey with rose and her mother on the estate, castiel finds himself cut off from his family/realm, but with a new family, team free will. they lose everything, their attachment to the heavens, and find a new family and a new reason to continue, in these humans. 

dean and rose also are the ultimate Human Credentials. we all know this term to be indicative of someone who confers humanity onto the other, someone who, by mere accompaniment, allows their beloved to more safely/easily navigate life. and it’s true in this sense. rose is constantly reminding ten how to Be Human (”am i being rude?”) in both big and small ways, just as dean more or less badgers castiel in the same way ( “dude. we talked about this”). neither cas nor ten would be as intimately connected with their “human sides” with their partners. but dean and rose are also Human Credentials in a broader sense, in that….. they act as character references for the rest of humanity, and by virtue of their own selves/their partner’s attachment to them, guarantee investment in the rest of the human race. castiel is more-or-less content to watch from heaven and take orders until he rescues dean and becomes involved with his life (”the moment castiel laid a hand on you in hell he was lost”). his love and affection for dean and his willingness to bend everything to keep him safe means that castiel learns to defy heaven for the good of humanity. ten has always loved humans, but he loves rose a little differently. The Doctor Needs Someone, and we see rose’s power as his human credential most strongly when she’s gone. Without rose, ten is more willing to put himself/others in danger, to make choices that will result in death, to be callous and reckless and thoughtless. rose’s presence is a constant reminder that humanity is Worth the Trouble, that he’s never met anyone who wasn’t important. 

for rose and dean…. these are two, completely Normal, Average People. or so they think anyways. the burdens they carry and their inner lives are very different, but in very simple ways, they both would’ve continued their lives believing there was nothing special about them, getting up to Do Their Duty, never asking for anything special. both view themselves are caretakers, although this manifests differently bc rose is a bratty 19 year old and dean never got the opportunity to be a teenager. but both Feel Deeply in ways/levels that others don’t. each has an extremely open heart and a need to protect/provide for the little people. what ten and cas give them is an entirely new perspective, whereupon it starts to be possible to believe that even the smallest person can affect the world for better, and that they, specifically Deserve More. 

THEN we have the ideas of religion/free will/fate that intertwine both shows. rtd’s doctor who was explicitly and obviously written with the intent to show an atheist universe where the human spirit and mind are enough on their own to be holy, to determine right and wrong, and to decide the events of the universe. obviously ten is often situated in christ-like positions, but he learns from humanity as much as they teach him. supernatural is a little more complicated, with an alternate vision of accepted figures of christianity, but both shows heavily emphasize the power of human kindness, passion, empathy, and individual choice. ten may not live within the confines of space and time, but apocalypses in doctor who often hinge on one small person doing The Next Right Thing, just as supernatural’s base credo is We’re Writing a New Chapter. castiel bursts onto the scene and is literally taught the importance of free will by dean, and perhaps even the importance of his own desires/needs by dean. both core relationships exemplify what it means to make choices outside the realm of fate (even whilst allowing for the existence of soulmates). yes, castiel was ordered to raise dean from perdition, but their human connection is what allows the winchesters to subvert God and move outside the printed narrative - love for a human is what makes an angel CHOOSE to fall from heaven. and ten…. well ten knows that rose is going to die. ten understands from the moment he allows himself to care for her above all others, that he is dooming himself to pain and regret and loss. but he decides to do it anyways, because isn’t the best thing an otherwordly being in love with humanity can do is to eperience love and loss on a human level? both cas and ten understand that there is no love without pain, that they will be the ones to watch their beloveds leave them, but that the Choice to love out of free will is worth it. 

there’s also the element of Expression/Repression. here is where the underlying emotion remains similar but the freedom of how exactly to illustrate these feelings could not be more different. tenrose is a heterosexual relationship at the end of the day, and their storylines require them to be alone in each other’s presence nearly 100% of the time. thus, we get LOTS of familiar touching, lots of body language and casual intimacy and teasing. dean and cas…. lol. not so much. instead of physicality, we get looks, both because of dean’s own upbringing/sexuality and because they exist on the show that they do. deancas deals in the unspoken - the acts of service, the grace healings, the tense moments of battle, the lack of personal space. the expression is different, but the emotion is the same. ten and dean hold themselves back from the more Obvious open-book partners, for their own personal reasons. the end effect being that everyone on screen understands/insinuates what’s happening, and their relationship is so thick with subtext its a wonder no one suffocates. Words are seen as the ultimate step, once which cannot be overcome in normal life. both pairs use death/separation as the final step towards full transparency, but even then we are never granted the ultimate catharsis of an I Love You. castiel couches his confessions in generalizations towards groups, and dean swallows his truth even in prayer. rose says the words through a veil of uncrossable distance, but she doesn’t get to hear them back. they can Know, and we can Understand, but we cannot hear it. 

lastly (for now)…. and perhaps as an ultimate summation…….. death and parallel universes and fate cannot stop them, those who are drawn to each other through heaven and hell, through time and realities. it is to be understood that will all four individuals fight to ensure that each human being is safe, protected, and able to make their own choices they are soulmates. they are soulmates who are bound to each other to be sure, but they’re not Fated in a way that takes away their free will. they’re fated by the series of choices they make, over and over again, to prioritize each other, to traverse time and space and dimension and hell to get back to one another. god cannot see castiel in his plans for the world, and yet castiel has evaded death again and again, to give dean a win. nothing could tear rose away from her doctor, and even while trapped in another dimmension, she hears his voice, she runs to him, and she finds a way to get back to him. each and every choice they make brings them back to one another, regardless of the ultimate ending. we don’t know yet if we will ever hear castiel and dean get their doomsday moment, but we do know that in order for castiel to leave dean’s side, an entirely new dimmension (the empty) will have to be in play to keep them apart. 

ultimately, castiel and ten are both celestial beings with self-worth issues but a burning and true desire to see humanity thrive, directly and indirectly because of their attachment to dean and rose. dean and rose make castiel and ten more human, all while exemplifying why human is a good thing to be. dean and rose become more themselves under cas and ten’s influence, both are given more opportunity to bloom into who they are meant to be. all four become More in the presence of each other, and save the world while doing it. ultimately there is a heavy dose of tragedy in both - whether or not dean and cas get their moment is yet to be seen, but these are still Soulmates with differing relationships to mortality. but is there anything sweeter than defying god’s and fate and our own doubts to grab love with both hands, even when we know there will be pain? 

[gender-snatched]

Can I have a masterpost of your Dr Who fics?

Sure!

Kidnapped - https://archiveofourown.org/works/28014645/chapters/68624493

T - QPR NineRose - Casual NineJack - Hurt/Comfort

Rose has been kidnapped! What will be revealed when The Doctor and Jack go to find her?

-

Injury - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27979728

G - QPR TenRose - Very Mild Hurt/Comfort

The Doctor and Rose are trying to catch a mouse when The Doctor gets hurt

-

Misunderstandings - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27941645

G - QPR TenRose - Relationship Reveal

It turns out Jackie doesn't know what Rose and The Doctor's relationship is

-

Realizations - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27940994

G - QPR NineRose - Coming Out

Rose had never had a good relationship. She liked the good parts of it, like holding hands and going on dates and even sometimes kissing but very rarely. But she hated the whole “romance” part.

For a while she had thought that she was a lesbian, but it didn’t differ between boys and girls. No matter who it was, Mickey or Shareen, she just… didn’t like it.

The Doctor was better. She thought, and maybe even knew, that if she ever found someone she was comfortable doing the whole “romance” thing with, she’d still choose The Doctor before them.

Everyone seemed to think she was in love with The Doctor. She could say for certain she wasn’t.

-

Cooking Lessons - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27940385

G - QPR TenRose or NineRose - Fluff

Rose learns that The Doctor doesn't know how to cook

-

Wardrobe - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27924964

G - QPR TenRose - Fluff

The Doctor walks in on Rose changing

-

Kittens - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27920452

G - QPR TenRose - Fluff

Rose finds a kitten. Can she convince The Doctor to let her keep it?

-

Soulmates - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900838

T - QPR NineRose and TenRose - Unhappy Ending - Fluff and Angst

Everyone was born with a red string tied to their left ring finger. The string led to your soulmate, and only you, and the people you loved the most, could see the string.

Rose wasn’t born with a red string. Hers was black.

Black strings weren’t uncommon, but they were uncommon on alloromantics, which Rose undeniably was. She had been having crushes for as long as she could remember, on boys and girls and anything in between, from real people to fictional characters to celebrities. So there was no reason that she shouldn’t have a red string.

And then she met The Doctor. She could see it, the string stretching from her finger tied to his. He apparently couldn’t. Or something like that. Because he never acknowledged it. Normally people with attaching strings mentioned it within seconds of meeting, even people with black strings. But he didn’t.

-

5 Times Rose and The Doctor Kissed and It Didn't Mean Anything, and 1 Time They Kissed and It Did (But Not in the Way You Think) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27803557

T - QPR NineRose - NineJack kiss - Getting Together

The Doctor keeps kissing Rose and saying it doesn't mean anything. Is that the truth?

[shkspr]

i was thinking about the similarities between tenrose (+ninerose) and a/c and i had a thought - rtd would’ve done a really great job with a/c. i feel like he would actually portray what neil retroactively claims he was trying to portray aka non-conventional romance.

i dont think these two asks were from the same person but every time i tried to answer them, there was a lot of overlap in my responses, so i’m putting em together

it’s interesting bc i feel like there’s no real consensus as to whether or not it’s baiting? like ive seen a lot of twitter folks for example say that it’s really clear they’re in love and they don’t need to kiss or anything to affirm that. idk i feel really conflicted bc im seront valid arguments on both sides of the debates. it’s definitely not like other baity ships i’ve come across before, that i can say.

this got reeeeeaaaally long so tl;dr: i don’t hate neil, i love the book and the show beyond human comprehension, but i do think it’s baiting and i am a bit upset about it. authorial intent should not stop anybody from interpreting or responding to it in whatever way they prefer, but it is important in the discussion of baiting and representation. i’m not waving a pitchfork, i’m just a gay person critically enjoying a piece of media. 

okay so… for me, what’s on the screen is not the issue, you know. a/c is very like tenrose, in a lot of ways. ten & rose never properly kissed, they never properly said “i love you,” there was never anything explicit in the show that said they were in what we would consider a romantic relationship, except for quips that could be written off as jokes (like “that was our first date”). 

and it does help that it’s a het ship, so there’s less…conscious denial of it, i think. but also. rtd and julie and david and billie and everybody involved has said time and time again that they were in love. bc that’s what was written. and it was obvious. it was clear, on the screen, that they were in love, even if they never explicitly said it. and it was never a question, it was just the truth. 

and with the exception of a few qualms (like the fact that they like… never touch), i think a/c is the same. it is obvious, from what was written and how it was acted, that they are in love. the issue, for me, is firstly, that neil fully knows how important this relationship is to a great number of his fans, and chose to ramp up those aspects of the relationship in the show to a ridiculous level, knowing that people would see it like that, took it right up to the precipice without allowing one toe over the line, and still says it isn’t a romance.

and secondly, that he’s patting himself on the back for writing it, for appealing to the audience like that, for the support of the relationship, not realizing that people support that relationship in spite of him. the other day he retweeted a tweet calling it a “slow burn love story” and it’s just like… you can’t write a fantastic romance, claim it isn’t a romance, and then congratulate yourself for writing a fantastic romance. it’s not fair.

it’s kind of like. some months ago, i saw a post made by someone saying that they saw themself in a&c because they were asexual, and they appreciated that a&c have a clearly profound connection without it being overtly sexual. and that is valid, absolutely, that fan: valid. but then i saw neil had either liked or reblogged it, i don’t remember, and that made me uneasy, because… he didn’t write a loving asexual relationship. he wrote a relationship that he knew would be interpreted by many as a romance, and included several jokes at their expense, and then chose to no-homo it basically by saying they don’t have sex. that’s not… that’s not representation of any kind.

neil’s favorite line is that what’s on the page/screen is canon, and he supports fans having headcanons and whatnot, but canon is canon. and that’s. true, obviously. but it’s not a coincidence that the show is so much more out there with the romantic aspects, and it’s not a coincidence that it still just barely manages to not be “canon.” and while i’m at it, i’d be remiss not to mention that it’s not a coincidence that it’s only the gay relationship that gets this treatment.

like, i’ve spoken about this before just as an issue that i have with the book in general, but it gets even more upsetting when considered alongside aziraphale and crowley’s relationship. newt and anathema have no chemistry whatsoever. the narration from his pov mentions several times that she’s hot, and that’s it. she shows no signs of liking him, at all, and he shows no signs of liking her beyond a superficial physical attraction, and he has zero qualities that would make it worth her even considering him as a romantic option. but we’re supposed to accept that relationship, because it’s canon.

shadwell and tracy also have literally no chemistry. he’s useless and mean and racist and treats her like garbage, and one of her only defining character traits is that she… likes that about him? like literally their entire relationship is him being awful to her, and her doing things for him because he’s a grown man who can’t feed himself, for some reason. and we’re supposed to accept that as a relationship, too, because it’s canon.

crowley and aziraphale have a 6000-year-long relationship full of trust and understanding, overcoming obstacles, bonding over their love of humanity, choosing each other over their loyalties to their respective sides, saving each other, helping each other, knowing each other’s interests and quirks, showing each other, over and over again, that they love each other. that’s the story that was written. so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bit put out when the writer tries to simultaneously insist that he didn’t write it like that and that he did write it like that, somehow. 

listen. i’m not saying i’d prefer it if the relationship was toned down. i’m not saying i’d prefer it if neil was going full rowling and claiming that they’re both canonically straight, or some shit. i’m not saying the relationship is worthless if they’re not making out. i’m just saying… i guess the bottom line of what i’m saying is: purposely dialing up the gay subtext in order to appeal to fans of the relationship without making it canon is literally the definition of queerbaiting. even if you repeatedly state that it won’t be canon, it’s still baiting. you’re using the relationship to reel in viewers who will be grateful for those table scraps because we’re in no position to complain, right?

and it is different from other baity ships, in my opinion, because it is a genuinely very well-written love story. like the only example of baiting i really have expertise on is probably bbc sherlock, and that is different. it’s different because neil knows how to write a love story, and he knew he was doing it, whereas moffat does not know how to write a love story, and he wasn’t trying to. he was just trying to write a weird friendship with a wacky homophobic remark thrown in once an episode, to appeal to fans who would gnaw at that bone because we were starving. 

neil, on the other hand, has dangled a picture of a feast in front of our eyes and it’s like… it’s good art, it’s just not good food. it’s good writing, it’s just not good representation. and i, a gay fan, feel alienated and invalidated by the fact that he knew that was exactly what he was doing. it’s just a bit of a cop-out, is all, and i’m a little disappointed in how he’s handling it in his interactions with the fandom, but that’s not new. 

[backstreets]

rose tyler......!

yes making the most of the night is on all my doctor who playlists....... companion anthem! also you can listen to my tenrose playlist here

Bad Wolf. listen here

Making The Most Of The Night / Carly Rae Jepsen / Baby I'm speeding and red lights are run / What I got you need it, and I'll run to your side / When your heart is bleeding, I'm coming to get you

Royals / Lorde / And we'll never be royals / It don't run in our blood / That kind of lux just ain't for us / We crave a different kind of buzz

Drive / Carly Rae Jepsen / Chasing the sun, don't wanna miss it / I just wanna drive you to love, love, love

Common People / Pulp / You are amazed that they exist / And they burn so bright, / Whilst you can only wonder why.

Born To Run / Bruce Springsteen / Will you walk with me out on the wire? / 'Cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider / But I gotta know how it feels / I want to know if love is wild / Babe I want to know if love is real

The Louvre / Lorde / Blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you / But we're the greatest, they'll hang us in the Louvre / Down the back, but who cares, still the Louvre

Let’s Get Lost / Carly Rae Jepsen / Baby let's go get lost / I like that you're drivin' slow / Keeping my fingers crossed / That maybe you'll take the long way home

Dead Sea / The Lumineers / You told me you were good at running away / Domestic life, it never suited you like a suitcase

Sleep On The Floor / The Lumineers / 'Cause if we don't leave this town / We might never make it out / I was not born to drown / Baby come on

Landslide / Fleetwood Mac / I took my love, I took it down / Climbed a mountain and I turned around / And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills / 'Til the landslide brought me down

Cleopatra / The Lumineers / But I was late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life

This Love / Taylor Swift / This love is alive back from the dead / These hands had to let it go free / And this love came back to me

100 Years / Florence + The Machine / I believe in you and in our hearts we know the truth and / I believe in love and the darker it gets, the more I do

Wildest Dreams / Taylor Swift / Say you'll remember me / Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe / Red lips and rosy cheeks / Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend