#love relationships LGBTQI intimacy

[dlslalsl]

god is love

     "God is Love" is a video art focused on the theme of spirituality in the                   perspective of the relationship between freedom and religion. ( Italia )

The video shows the meeting of two young guys in front of St. Peter's Basilica. The intertwining of their gazes, their hands and the sense of intimacy and sensuality that emerges from their kisses are not in contrast with the imposing basilica that stands out between their faces.

In this context, St. Peter's Basilica takes on a double value: from being a symbol of Catholicism that represses freedom and sexuality, it becomes an expression of Christianity as the embodiment of spirituality and love.

At the same time, the young couple represents not only the LGBTQI+ community, but all people who live a condition of marginalization in society. A condition that Christianity itself, in its original principles, aims to overcome.

A strong inspiration in terms of aesthetics was the memorial dedicated to homosexuals persecuted during the Nazi regime in Berlin, the uninterrupted projection of a video, simple but powerful, in which we see two men kissing in a park.

I had long planned to make this video. When on October 27, 2021 the Zan bill (which sets out measures to prevent and combat discrimination and violence based on sex, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and disability in Italy) was not approved by the Senate, I knew it was the right time to make it, to give strength to a message of love that I believe still needs to be heard.

[khrenek]

God is Love from francesco cascavilla on Vimeo.

"God is Love" is a video art focused on the theme of spirituality in the perspective of the relationship between freedom and religion.

The video shows the meeting of two young guys in front of St. Peter's Basilica. The intertwining of their gazes, their hands and the sense of intimacy and sensuality that emerges from their kisses are not in contrast with the imposing basilica that stands out between their faces.

In this context, St. Peter's Basilica takes on a double value: from being a symbol of Catholicism that represses freedom and sexuality, it becomes an expression of Christianity as the embodiment of spirituality and love.

At the same time, the young couple represents not only the LGBTQI+ community, but all people who live a condition of marginalization in society. A condition that Christianity itself, in its original principles, aims to overcome.

A strong inspiration in terms of aesthetics was the memorial dedicated to homosexuals persecuted during the Nazi regime in Berlin, the uninterrupted projection of a video, simple but powerful, in which we see two men kissing in a park.

I had long planned to make this video. When on October 27, 2021 the Zan bill (which sets out measures to prevent and combat discrimination and violence based on sex, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and disability in Italy) was not approved by the Senate, I knew it was the right time to make it, to give strength to a message of love that I believe still needs to be heard.

[girl-from-far-away]

I read the interview and I'm questioning what Kari said about what we saw it wasn't intentional. Okay, it can be. BUT, we are seeing one guy who is have been questioned about beeing bi since a long time and everybody answer are always "maybe" or something like that. So, how they never asked themselves how's the sambucky's friendship was going to be showed? They never asked themselves if people could read too much about them? and they never worked with the possibility that we were suppost to interpret something wrong ? (As they're traying to say.)

I don't know how things work where you live, right? But here where I live it's not common to see two men being to much intimacy even though both are friends. Not THAT kind of intimacy that Sam and Bucky showed to us. Men don't touch too much and if they do, they make a lot of mess because they need to show to people that they're just playing. After something happen or an important conversation they don't whisper a "good talk" or "good job", they don't exchange glances and face each other too much as Bucky and Sam did. Unless they have a romantic interest, did you got it?Based on this, you might know now that I didn't read too much, I just saw what I'm accustomed to see in my culture.

What I'm traying to say is, there are a lot of forms to show and develop a friendship or friends becoming brother - as some people are saying about sambucky friendship - they don't need sambucky to do the actions that I mentioned before.

For example they gave us Sambucky as Destiel - as most compared and I'm not a destiel shiper but I agree with you - when they could have given us Sambucky as Dean and Sam relation. A true friendship and brother relation. Or, for those are HP fans, a relationship like Harry Potter and Rony.

Then, based in my culture and all the possibilities of relatioships development I cannot accept what they said or they're going to say in interviews about the show, because they are saying one thing but they showed to us the opposite. They can say that wasn't intention about everything around Sambucky, but I saw how it seemed intentional, what can I do?

I know there are some people saying that TFATWS isn't queerbating but if someone were asked about Bucky being bi and he said "go and watch" I'll buy it as a big yes. I always do, so i'm sorry and in my opinion they tried to sell Bucky as a character bi because - and here goes a personal feeling - and as I said at the begnining of this vent, we have been asking for some time about the possibility of Bucky being bi. They gave us the ideia, long time ago and I think they thought about the possibility but now they are trying to see how people react about it without compromising. Both main character in TFATWS are really important to MCU and the future and i hate to say that but the world isn't acceptable with people LGBTQI+ and it's including the characters. For example, once here where a live, we had a important event about books and the Avengers: Children's Crusade was taken out of circulation by a mayor because Wiccan and Hulkling were kissing, so for some people it wasn't a problem but to others, fuck, they made a big deal. Do you understand the problem?

With Bucky bissexual and Captain America possibly in a love and/or in a relationship with him will make Marvel struggle a lot with the world's ideas and acceptance, there are too much fight and I'm not sure if Marvel wants. Everything is working really good to Marvel right now. So I can understand the insecurity, but if it's not that, I will say yes, Bucky's sexuality was used to sell a show. 🤷🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙃

[foodieworldmelbourne]

Minority in a minority: Life as a bisexual Sufi, fighting prejudice from all sides

Updated October 24, 2018 07:21:02

Photo: Melbourne-based Sufi Rida Khan came out as bisexual as a 20-year-old. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) Map: Melbourne 3000 Rida Khan is a Sufi Muslim and a bisexual and she wants to shatter some misconceptions. "It's assumed that a lot of same-sex, bisexual or other gender diverse Muslims are having sex and that's actually a myth," says the 24-year-old aged-care nurse. "It's like saying that all Muslim youth that are straight are engaging in heterosexual sex and that's just far out, like, come on. What is Sufism?Sufism, or Tasawwuf as it is known in Arabic, is Islamic mysticism Sufi orders can be found in Sunni, Shia and other Islamic sectsSufi rituals, such as dhikr (devotional chanting), encourage introspection and spiritual closeness with God "Most of us are scared of having an aunty identify us with a guy or a girl." Rida realised she was bisexual as a 17-year-old, but she waited a few years before announcing this to her Pakistani friends and family. She and her family are Sufis followers of the mystical branch of Islam. "My experience of coming out was in fact quite positive, quite different from the stories we hear in other gender-diverse communities," she says. "But I think it does have a lot to do with the fact that my parents have lived in Turkey, we have lived in Japan, we've lived in Australia. "When I came out it was like, 'meh, okay, you're still the same to me'." 'Not right' for the community Not everyone supports Rida's openness about her sexual orientation. While some progressive Muslim leaders support same-sex marriage, it is widely interpreted by Islamic schools of thought that same-sex intimacy is 'haram' or 'forbidden'. "People think if you're bisexual, if you're homosexual that's God testing you to prove that you can be a better person, that you can be a better Muslim and that you can rise above your so-called lust," Rida says. "It's the women who are bullying me, the aunties who are really horrible [saying] 'Stay away from her, she's not a good person'. "I don't know if it's jealousy or what it is, but they need to be kinder to gender-diverse women, they need to be kinder to women from Muslim minorities in this country."

Photo: Rida's family are 'Baloch', members of a traditionally nomadic Pakistani tribe. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) 'If you're bisexual, prove yourself' But the pendulum swings both ways. Rida says she's received just as much discrimination from Australia's LGBTQI community because of her faith. "It's like they constantly ridicule your religion," she says. "They don't understand that religion can actually act as a tool for empowering you." Faith isn't the only friction point. Rida says she's felt an expectation to fit in with Western expressions of queer sexuality. "Not all people of colour from gender-diverse backgrounds actually relate to the mainstream sexuality, particularly along the lines of hypersexuality and self-objectification," she says. "And we do get put down for it, like, 'if you're bisexual then prove yourself'." Sometimes, prejudice can feel like it's coming from all sides. "First, you're not accepted by the Muslim community because you're bisexual, then you're not accepted by the gender-diverse community in Australia for being Muslim," Rida says. "Then you also identify as a woman of colour so when discrimination and bullying happens, you don't know which of the three they are discriminating against you [for]."

Photo: Rida says she's a "practitioner of Islam" more than a practitioner of her bisexuality. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) Sexuality or faith: Being forced to choose Siobhan Irving is an anthropologist, PhD candidate and a board member for Sydney Queer Muslims. She converted to Islam as a 19-year-old and has spent the past five years collecting stories from gay and lesbian Muslims in Sydney and Singapore. Ms Irving says Rida's story isn't unique. "In the queer community and just in general, really many people do not understand why a same-sex attracted Muslim would still embrace their faith ... would still be proud of their religious community," she says.

Photo: Western Sydney electorates overwhelming voted 'No' for same-sex marriage. (Supplied: Australia Bureau of Statistics) "It's difficult for them to express both their identities as Muslims and as same-sex attracted people they often feel that they must choose." Ms Irving says last year's national plebiscite on same-sex marriage brought Islamophobic attitudes to the fore. "People in the queer community and elsewhere presumed that this just meant Muslims voted against it, because the Western suburbs are known as being very much populated by Muslim communities," she points out. In the aftermath, Ms Irving spoke to many LGBTQI Muslims who felt pressured to defend their faith in queer circles and spaces, if they disclosed it at all. Solace through spirituality Sufism or Tasawwuf, as it is known in Arabic, is not a sect of Islam, like Sunni or Shia, but rather a spiritual practice, and theory, that can be found in all branches of the faith. Rida's parents, for instance, practise Sufism within the Sunni Hanafi tradition. Meanwhile, Rida describes her faith as "Aboriginal-Sufi-centric Islam"; a practice influenced by Indigenous Dreamtime stories and her 'Baloch' bedouin ancestry. Introspection, meditation and dhikr (devotional chanting) are core elements of Sufism. Rida says these practises give her an inner strength to combat the external conflicts that come from being a bisexual Muslim. "The modern Sufi community here in Melbourne looks something like a mix of hipsters [who] have a very deep intimate relationship with God," she says. "[It's about] sitting together, discussing life issues, reading Rumi's poetry, and overall just really trying to do the best we can in a world which is largely right-wing or left-wing we really fall somewhere in the middle."

Photo: The Mevlevi, also known as the Whirling Dervishes, are followers of Sufi mystic Rumi. According to Ed Husain, author of The House of Islam: A Global History, Sufi poets like Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi and Omar Khayyam celebrate an inner spirituality that can be overlooked in more hard-lined expressions of Islam. "Their poetry ... is much more focused towards drawing to God and the divine through love, attraction, passion, hope and optimism, rather than [being] fearful of God and fussing over sins and hellfire and worrying about the consequences of whether, you know, your hair shows," he told Rachael Kohn on a recent episode of RN's The Spirit of Things. "The fact that the Prophet Muhammad was reciting beautiful poetry was because he was internally in communication with the divine. "And if you lose that internal communication, externality becomes ugly and rigid." For Rida, Muslims and non-Muslims alike can gain joy from introspection. "Sufism itself is just a practice to help you become closer to your divine," she says. "[It tries] to get you to understand that the universe is a much bigger picture than what institutionalised religion has made it out to be." Topics:religion-and-beliefs,women-religious,islam,gays-and-lesbians,race-relations,discrimination,melbourne-3000 First posted October 23, 2018 06:00:00 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-23/life-as-a-bisexual-sufi-fighting-prejudice-from-all-sides/10391704

[rpritchardjournal]

Artist Research - Charmaine Poh

While researching for my dissertation and looking at the work of Zanele Muholi, I attended/watched the Uniqlo Tate Late Night In virtual session on the 5th of Novemeber in response to their work at the Tate Modern. The Session was really interesting, but I was particularly drawn to the work of Charmaine Poh, who talked about her series How They Love (2017-2019) (transcript of Charmaine Poh’s presentation included under read more).

(Image from How They Love (2017-2019))

Over the course of making work this semester, I have been looking for positive representations of queerness and queer comfort. My dissertation research has been focusing on the ideas of whether representations of queer love can be considered political and whether queer artists have a responsibility to be political- because I know I feel like that is the kind of work I have to make a lot of the time- like a have a queer responsibility to make political work. Doing this political work however I have found really draining, and I think that there is an important place for representations of queer love and queer comfort within artwork- artwork should be a place for queerness to be celebrated and a place of catharsis- and not just a tool for the political aims of LGBTQI+ equality. While thinking about these ideas I have been looking for representations of queer love, and Charmaine Poh’s work stood out to me as creating this safe space to acknowledge queer love and the complexities of queer identity.

(Image from How They Love (2017-2019))

Charmaine Poh is a Chinese-Singaporean photographer, artist, and writer, using narrative photography to advocate for marginalized communities in Asia, from the LGBTQ community in Cambodia to domestic workers in Singapore, and low-income families along Myanmar's Yangon River. She says herself that central to her practice is “the ways tenderness can be a form of resistance and rebuilding of worlds”. Within the research for my dissertation I have been considering the extent to which more tender representations of LGBTQI+ love and joy can be viewed as what Jack Halberstam identifies as ‘Weapons of the Weak’; Hidden transcripts of resistance to the dominant order (p.88, Art of Queer Failure). I think Poh’s work is a really interesting example of how powerful representations of queer love and intimacy can be.

How They Love (2017-2019), is a series of collaborative images that examines queer performativity and intimacy, while also aiming to validate and make visible the tender realities of queer love and identity. The images are taken on a set, dressed with traditional wedding decorations, wedding props, and costumes, which the participants are encouraged to interact with to explore which align with their own vision of their identity.

(Image from How They Love (2017-2019))

I find this series really engaging, as it not only makes visible the very real tenderness of queer resistance but it starts to call into question the heteronormative expectations that are still placed on queer people- and question why that is.

I am trying to do something similar with my own work to an extent. I want to look more at queer comfort, queer love and tenderness- as I think these moments can be just as powerful and political as more overt activism- in how they subvert the negative ways in which queerness can be framed by society, and how they question heteronormative expectations for love and relationships.

Another project of Charmaine Poh’s that I found very interesting was her collaborative series with Norah Lea - @Messages2Her (2019-). The work negotiates visibility the internet, gender and strategies on survival, stemming from private Instagram posts. The project explores these different platforms on which intimacy is generated- through Instagram and zoom for example.

The presentation of this work in SandMagazine shows the work as five digital letters. The letters form a kind of virtual montage- incorporating reflection, images, browsers, music- and they form almost a window into the minds of the artist at a particular moment.

I really like this series as it highlights the depth and intimacy of real connection through the virtual. I think it relates in a way to my own exploration of latent space- this hidden digital/virtual space where we exist and have connections and intimacy. Its very interesting to see another artist explore similar themes to myself in different ways, and considering the ways they have chosen to approach the same topics. One thing I particularly like about Poh’s work, is the way she incorporates the platforms she is reflecting upon (the virtual, digital) to be the sight of that reflection. I think this is a very interesting element of the work that makes it so successful and engaging, especially at a time when more traditional ways of showcasing work are limited- going forwards I would like to think more deeply about how I present my own work and it’s relationship with the virtual spaces I am trying to represent.

https://www.forbes.com/profile/charmaine-poh/?sh=73023b7a3dba https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-photographer-creating-safe-space-queer-feminine-love-singapore 

Uniqlo Tate Late Transcript:

(43.54) I work across photography, film, and performance to create spaces for narratives. A lot of my narratives that I deal with are often unseen or unheard, and central to my practice is looking at the performativity of the every day, and how tenderness can be used as a form of resistance and (bold?) rebuilding, and I’m recording this from Singapore where I was born and where I spend most of my time. So the series is called, How They Love and it is a series of collaborative portraits made in Singapore from 2018- 2019 and it looks at the complexities of performing queer feminine identity. At the start it was very much a documentary approach, so I would go to different places, I would go to clubs and you know different types of groups and I would photograph but I felt like that wasn’t really what I wanted to say. I didn’t simply want to document, I wanted to understand what queer desire looked like. I invited people into a studio and I decorated the studio, so there were pink petals everywhere and balloons and it looked like a wedding party almost. And I had people interact with different wedding props, and I had this setting of a wedding because it was so steeped in gender norms that it forced people to kind of either resist or conform to it. I interviewed them, go to know them, and then by the time they stepped on set it became a place for them to express their desire, it was a place of freedom, and also of imagination. And I should mention that in Singapore, there’s still a lot of restrictions around LGBTQ people, there is this British colonial-era penal code called 377A, and uh in that penal code a man cannot have sex with another man, and so this law remains, uh in many ways, queer peoples lives are still governed by the state, and it’s kind of strange because, it seems more acceptable than ever to be queer, and yet these laws exist meaning that, the tide has not yet quite turned. I think through the work, I learned so much about uh queer identity, and the many ways in which people express this in their daily lives. Even in the interviews we talk about everything from coming out to falling in love for the first time, to religion, and politics, and to marriage. And so I think there is a huge kind of collection of narratives that I hold very close to me. And I guess for me, uh, resistance looks strong but gentle and tender, it doesn't always have to yell, and for me, I operate in this kind of way, I try my best to be measured and thoughtful in my decision making. And so my form of resistance looks like that.

[psycho-self-care]

BLOG #11

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS AND GENDER-RELATED ISSUES

Socialization is a daily part of our lives, considering that we are social beings who are capable of learning through interactions and, also forming bonds through it. Over time, we have been taught to be people who conform to society’s standards and try to be what is acceptable in society. However, society changes from time to time therefore society’s standards also mold into those times.

Socialization and relationships go hand in hand with the development of a person in terms of identity and personality. There are some relationships formed through interactions with the family, which nourishes and withstands the hurdles of life through the love of family members towards each other. Another type of relationship formed throughout one’s existence are friendships. They are formed through the different people whom one interacts with every single day and forms a bond with memories with them. These bonds formed may be changed depending on situations and the way the relationship works. Some friendships may come and go like acquaintances would; while some nourish and become stronger that lasts a lifetime. Moreover, some friendships or acquaintances become relationships that involve to people who have the same feelings for each other. The friendship stage could further be developed into a relationship between a couple who may take a step further if they call it love.

Everyone has a different concept of love depending on what context they see it as. In this adolescent gearing towards adulthood, I am at a stage that would long more for the intimacy and companionship that I seek or lack thereof. However, relationships like this shouldn’t be entered just for the sake of status rather for the right reasons and the right intentions because entering into a relationship which one is not prepared for could hurt a person and possibly change their perception of things.

Now, standards of today regarding gender roles and the accepted genders of society has changed. Although not entirely, the progress of society towards accepting the other genders is well enough to say that the society is progressing to somewhere positive. Before, there are only two genders considered by society which is the male and the female to the point that the existence of the third gender became a disorder.

Personally, I take part in being an advocate for the other genders because I see how they need alliances who are there to make them feel welcome and safe. Although, I could not classify myself in a certain box that society made in order to understand gender and gender roles, yet I still am an advocate of the LGBTQI+ that is willing to let people know what is right from what is wrong. I believe that everyone should be treated as humans because everyone in this world would only want to get by in life and fulfill one’s purpose. We should not force people to fall under a certain stereotype and make them a certain way that they are not because that violates the way people express themselves and live their own life. In turn, that would change the way they function and identify themselves in society.

[jesususeme]

New Idea - Swipe Me Harder

In trying to refine my idea I researched about the online activities people have been engaging in whilst in isolation. Through reading articles and talking to friends I kept finding myself drawn to investigate the world of online intimacy, specifically how people are keeping “connected” in a realm where I feel as though we are becoming progressively disconnected.

This has always been a topic I have been fascinated by but have always avoided in my artmaking as I don’t want to come across as being provocative for the sake of being provocative, or as though I am looking down others for connecting in these ways that I personally feel disconnected from. I simply want to gain insight on how this new world of cybersex is going to affect more traditional, face to face means of connection.

An example of a country where online intimacy has virtually replaced real life intimacy is Japan, specifically Tokyo, and South Korea. This has resulted in a disproportionate aging community as young people have explicitly stated that there is no longer a need for traditional courtship as they have everything they desire and more provided on virtual platforms. These online platforms offer sex tailored to the desires of individuals, offering them a product far better than what real life experiences could ever provide. It has gotten to the point where young Japanese men find approaching real women so debilitating that they now pay for non-sexual intimacy services just to experience what it feels like to be in the physical presence of the opposite sex. These services include eye gazing, spooning and bars dedicated to giving them the ‘girlfriend experience’, these services are not limited to a male audience, there are alternative services offered to women as well.

Some interesting documentaries I have seen on the topic are:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYcEXCy4izY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpZbu7J7UL4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBRSR_LGlOE

I want to investigate how sex has become a consumerist product, something to be purchased online and how this may be potentially problematic. Having been a part of the first generation to truly grow up online, I am very aware of what our ideas of love and intimacy have been conditioned to.  As I’ve grown older I have gained more of an understanding of how problematic the internet has been in our development as it serves as a peep show playground of sorts, where the roles are constantly shifting between the predator and the prey, the presenter and the provider.

Some popular websites I find rather disconcerting in this sense are:

Tinder/similar dating apps, where people are reduced to a simple swipe to the left or right, where one has to market themselves in a way where they will be found desirable by other

Instagram and other social media apps, where we become hyper-aware of how we present ourselves to the world, where facetune, filters and photoshop are now a normalised and accepted means of presentation, leading to a monumental rise in plastic surgery. I have witnessed many female friends use apps to change the shade of their skin, the composition of their face and alter their body to portray the impossible beauty standards marketed to us, normalised by society and now an expected ritual of self-marketing.

Facebook – where catfishing and other predatory behaviours is becoming increasing prevalent

Sugardaddy.com/Seeking arrangements/foreign online bride forums – where people (specifically young women) in vulnerable economical situations engage in relationships (where sexual services are expected) with mostly much older men in order to gain financial stability. This is especially upsetting in the case of young women (many only just of a legal age) seeking to escape the difficult circumstances of living in a 3rd world country, this is normalised on tv shows such as 90 Day Fiancé. I also know of many students (particularly at Maquarie University) of using Seeking Arrangements to pay off their uni/college fees

Pornhub for its incredibly problematic portrayal of sex

Omegle/Chatroulette where strangers are paired together via video chat, often exposing underage children to adult content

Websites where people (yet again mostly people in vulnerable financial situations) use online forums to sell sexually explicit images of themselves or personal items to people who have rather pervasive kinks/fetishes

Even though I personally find the growth of the cybersex community incredibly alarming and an increasing threat to more ‘natural’ means of connection, I still want to explore this topic from a completely neutral standpoint. I think this subject is incredibly relevant now during these times of limited physical contact as people are increasingly participating in these forums as a means of making up for what they are lacking in isolation. I do believe this could be a defining point in choose to completely shift their romantic life online or recognise the importance of real-life intimacy. I do also think it is important to acknowledge that the internet can provide forums for people in fringe communities/marginalised communities (people who are not able bodied, LGBTQI+) to explore and express their sexuality in a safe space whereas in real life they may have been ashamed or unsafe to do so.

In terms of my project, I do plan on taking a tongue in cheek approach, yet I am also very aware that this is a sensitive topic to some! With the presentation I am going to make a website that emulates the characteristics of these shady forums, including multiple pop adds that advertise seedy, foreign dating sites. I want to expose this world of online sex as a type of virtual virus itself, I’m hoping these incessant pop up ads will aid that idea. On the website and in the ads I will have links to different series of prints simulating sites such as Tinder, RussianBrides.com, SugarDaddy.com and fetish forums (most likely foot fetish). To gather more data on what exactly people are turning to fulfil their online desires I have made a short survey which I intend on passing on to people via omegle, this means I will be able to collect data detached from myself and anyone I know.

[allaroundmelbourne]

Life as a bisexual Sufi, fighting prejudice from all sides

Posted October 23, 2018 06:00:00

Photo: Melbourne-based Sufi Rida Khan came out as bisexual as a 20-year-old. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) Map: Melbourne 3000 Rida Khan is a Sufi Muslim and a bisexual and she wants to shatter some misconceptions. "It's assumed that a lot of same-sex, bisexual or other gender diverse Muslims are having sex and that's actually a myth," says the 24-year-old aged-care nurse. "It's like saying that all Muslim youth that are straight are engaging in heterosexual sex and that's just far out, like, come on. What is Sufism?Sufism, or Tasawwuf as it is known in Arabic, is Islamic mysticism Sufi orders can be found in Sunni, Shia and other Islamic sectsSufi rituals, such as dhikr (devotional chanting), encourage introspection and spiritual closeness with God "Most of us are scared of having an aunty identify us with a guy or a girl." Rida realised she was bisexual as a 17-year-old, but she waited a few years before announcing this to her Pakistani friends and family. She and her family are Sufis followers of the mystical branch of Islam. "My experience of coming out was in fact quite positive, quite different from the stories we hear in other gender-diverse communities," she says. "But I think it does have a lot to do with the fact that my parents have lived in Turkey, we have lived in Japan, we've lived in Australia. "When I came out it was like, 'meh, okay, you're still the same to me'." 'Not right' for the community Not everyone supports Rida's openness about her sexual orientation. While some progressive Muslim leaders support same-sex marriage, it is widely interpreted by Islamic schools of thought that same-sex intimacy is 'haram' or 'forbidden'. "People think if you're bisexual, if you're homosexual that's God testing you to prove that you can be a better person, that you can be a better Muslim and that you can rise above your so-called lust," Rida says. "It's the women who are bullying me, the aunties who are really horrible [saying] 'Stay away from her, she's not a good person'. "I don't know if it's jealousy or what it is, but they need to be kinder to gender-diverse women, they need to be kinder to women from Muslim minorities in this country."

Photo: Rida's family are 'Baloch', members of a traditionally nomadic Pakistani tribe. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) 'If you're bisexual, prove yourself' But the pendulum swings both ways. Rida says she's received just as much discrimination from Australia's LGBTQI community because of her faith. "It's like they constantly ridicule your religion," she says. "They don't understand that religion can actually act as a tool for empowering you." Faith isn't the only friction point. Rida says she's felt an expectation to fit in with Western expressions of queer sexuality. "Not all people of colour from gender-diverse backgrounds actually relate to the mainstream sexuality, particularly along the lines of hypersexuality and self-objectification," she says. "And we do get put down for it, like, 'if you're bisexual then prove yourself'." Sometimes, prejudice can feel like it's coming from all sides. "First, you're not accepted by the Muslim community because you're bisexual, then you're not accepted by the gender-diverse community in Australia for being Muslim," Rida says. "Then you also identify as a woman of colour so when discrimination and bullying happens, you don't know which of the three they are discriminating against you [for]."

Photo: Rida says she's a "practitioner of Islam" more than a practitioner of her bisexuality. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) Sexuality or faith: Being forced to choose Siobhan Irving is an anthropologist, PhD candidate and a board member for Sydney Queer Muslims. She converted to Islam as a 19-year-old and has spent the past five years collecting stories from gay and lesbian Muslims in Sydney and Singapore. Ms Irving says Rida's story isn't unique. "In the queer community and just in general, really many people do not understand why a same-sex attracted Muslim would still embrace their faith ... would still be proud of their religious community," she says.

Photo: Western Sydney electorates overwhelming voted 'No' for same-sex marriage. (Supplied: Australia Bureau of Statistics) "It's difficult for them to express both their identities as Muslims and as same-sex attracted people they often feel that they must choose." Ms Irving says last year's national plebiscite on same-sex marriage brought Islamophobic attitudes to the fore. "People in the queer community and elsewhere presumed that this just meant Muslims voted against it, because the Western suburbs are known as being very much populated by Muslim communities," she points out. In the aftermath, Ms Irving spoke to many LGBTQI Muslims who felt pressured to defend their faith in queer circles and spaces, if they disclosed it at all. Solace through spirituality Sufism or Tasawwuf, as it is known in Arabic, is not a sect of Islam, like Sunni or Shia, but rather a spiritual practice, and theory, that can be found in all branches of the faith. Rida's parents, for instance, practise Sufism within the Sunni Hanafi tradition. Meanwhile, Rida describes her faith as "Aboriginal-Sufi-centric Islam"; a practice influenced by Indigenous Dreamtime stories and her 'Baloch' bedouin ancestry. Introspection, meditation and dhikr (devotional chanting) are core elements of Sufism. Rida says these practises give her an inner strength to combat the external conflicts that come from being a bisexual Muslim. "The modern Sufi community here in Melbourne looks something like a mix of hipsters [who] have a very deep intimate relationship with God," she says. "[It's about] sitting together, discussing life issues, reading Rumi's poetry, and overall just really trying to do the best we can in a world which is largely right-wing or left-wing we really fall somewhere in the middle."

Photo: The Mevlevi, also known as the Whirling Dervishes, are followers of Sufi mystic Rumi. According to Ed Husain, author of The House of Islam: A Global History, Sufi poets like Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi and Omar Khayyam celebrate an inner spirituality that can be overlooked in more hard-lined expressions of Islam. "Their poetry ... is much more focused towards drawing to God and the divine through love, attraction, passion, hope and optimism, rather than [being] fearful of God and fussing over sins and hellfire and worrying about the consequences of whether, you know, your hair shows," he told Rachael Kohn on a recent episode of RN's The Spirit of Things. "The fact that the Prophet Muhammad was reciting beautiful poetry was because he was internally in communication with the divine. "And if you lose that internal communication, externality becomes ugly and rigid." For Rida, Muslims and non-Muslims alike can gain joy from introspection. "Sufism itself is just a practice to help you become closer to your divine," she says. "[It tries] to get you to understand that the universe is a much bigger picture than what institutionalised religion has made it out to be." Topics:religion-and-beliefs,women-religious,islam,gays-and-lesbians,race-relations,discrimination,melbourne-3000 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-23/life-as-a-bisexual-sufi-fighting-prejudice-from-all-sides/10391704

[snicole5087]

The warnings of full frontal nudity shouldn’t deter people from seeing this but nor should it be the only reason to see this (Naked Attraction is on All 4, everyone) because this play, about three couples facing the end of their relationships, is a study in human character and looks at relationships beneath the surface of attraction. This transfer from similarly sized Theatre N16 is a very intimate play.

There is a lot of attraction and sex in this before the play even begins Nastazja Somers’ Alina and Charlie Allen’s soldier are naked and having sex in Szymon Ruszczewski’s string cage set, giving us an insight yet distance from their intimate moments. We begin in West Germany, it is the early 80s before moving on to stories set in  London. Alina and soldier’s son Elliott (Elliot Rogers) is now in his late teens/twenties in 1999 in a relationship with Casey (Christina Bason), an Aussie backpacker who doesn’t want to go but rejects his efforts to make her stay. The third story involves Holly (Sarah Hastings), previously married to a man she is now with Erica (Monty Leigh). Set in the present day there isn’t any judgement from others but Holly has her own inner doubts about what she is.

Firstly it is super exciting to review a show containing lesbians, especially as Pride weekend is upcoming. Theatre has neglected female LGBTQI on the whole and No Offence, Somers and writer BJ McNeil’s company, focus on female lead theatre and this show definitely puts women front and centre. They have their weaknesses and their strengths but this is the most honest look at relationships I have ever seen. Elliott and Casey’s storyline in particular rang true to me. They loved each other but there was a feeling that they were young and this was never meant to be whereas Holly and Erica’s internal conflicts worked their story had a lot of external factors, which I would have liked to see dominate more rather than Erica’s illness. The performances are all great, Rogers and Allen showing male vulnerability, especially when egos are fragile and they don’t have the upper hand with Somers and Bason’s Alina and Casey’s determination to not be dominated by men and what society expects of them. Whilst I was totally convinced by Erica and Holly’s relationship I did feel we didn’t delve into the background as we did with the others with Erica’s story less developed than the other characters Monty Leigh performance seems simply a trigger for Holly’s woes rather than a character in her own right as Hastings dominated their scenes.

I also wanted to see more Alina and the soldier, their story runs through the play and whilst concluded with monologues at the end I felt I needed more of them to really get to the grips with the rest of the production.

I would also love to see the string cage and the playin a bigger space, making a small venue feel even smaller make this play feel too intimate. This play is about witnessing intimacy at a distance, when people are being candid and vulnerable and small space cannot provide distance

Torn Apart is on until 22nd July http://www.ticketsource.co.uk/event/174601

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#review of #tornapartplay from @noffencetheatre "honest look at relationships in the bedroom" The warnings of full frontal nudity shouldn’t deter people from seeing this but nor should it be the only reason to see this (Naked Attraction is on All 4, everyone) because this play, about three couples facing the end of their relationships, is a study in human character and looks at relationships beneath the surface of attraction.