#love notes better left unsent 💌

[blysstastic]

And above all I am not loved or lusted over.

I’ve felt the pain of being just one- of being loved without the urge to be taken into a sweet embrace until you’ve been forged to one or the stale nausea that hits your stomach when a pair of eyes crawl over your skin without affection and hands rake over your body without softness.

But somehow to be without either is worse and it makes me wonder what it’d feel like to have both. To know you’ll sleep each night in the arms of someone peaceful and permanent rather than spreading on my mattress with only a pillow to disrupt my arms’ travels.

And yet I don’t wish to be fucked stupid or made love to, I wish to be cradled, skin to skin without an armor of linen in between us to get in my way.

It’s a feeling of missing something you never had, a craving for a sweet you can’t place, the discovery of a birthmark which was always there scarring an otherwise perfect canvas.

I dipped my toes into the water only to blink and find that I cannot find shore. It was sudden and yet so gradual; drifting out to sea without a wrist watch, allowing the cold waves to lick at my feet and losing track of time. My sanity.

I lie awake till sunrise each morning in hopes that someone will walk through that door.

“Sorry I’m late, dear”

And take me into their arms at last; our lips brushing against one another and their nose buried into my cheeks

Intimacy, I miss you.

When will you be home, dear?

[blysstastic]

i want to spend all my time w you youre my safe space

[blysstastic]

My head is fuzzy and my heart is full thinking of you 🍓