#love my mom she puts up with my sonic rants

[fredsters-world]

I'm telling my mom about Sonic underground:

Me: "They made Sonic two extra siblings, but can you believe they didn't put Tails in the show?"

Her: "Well, that's because Tails isn't Sonic's brother."

My honest reaction:

[theficplug]

Taking Erik To The Beauty Supply Store 2 / Barber Shop With Erik

Erik Killmonger x Black Reader

Warnings : mature/sexual conversations?

it's a regular day in the stevens household. going to the beauty supply store again & the barber shop but hey it's fun cause it's you and your man.

First taking Erik to the beauty supply store fic:

“I could beat the brake off her lying ass. First of all, I should’ve known something was up cause she asked me if I’m natural. I said yes. She said well I normally do relaxed hair.. Then said you got to have your hair washed and blow dried already… Talking about she was going to have me serving 90s Nia Long. This bitch got me looking like big momma when she came home for that motherfucking party.” You continue your rant as Erik moves around the room looking for your body butter and your fluffy shoes to put on for the day.

You wanted a cute 90s pixie cut to go along with the theme of the maternity shoot which was like the cheesy 90s mall style set with the faded backdrop.

180 dollars and a lopsided , almost a golden bob later and you are still thinking about snatching her out of that salon.

“I’m gonna try and trim it up myself and dye it before the maternity photos tomorrow. But I’mma get two wigs just in case I mess up.” You explain to Erik as he begins to spread the body butter up your legs leaving a golden glow on your skin.

“Not you down there cackling after getting some hang time on the locs you been growing since high school... It’s quiet, ain't no back talk.” You banter with him and he stops massaging your legs to give you a look and laughs softly before giving you a retort of his own.

“You got a lot to say for somebody that can’t even lotion they ashy lil knees.”

“Your daughter been pushing against my organs for 8 and a half months. I don’t wanna hear nothing unless its about my push present. You know that I like rings… My engagement ring looking reeeealll lonely.” you say to him as you dangle your hand in front of his face.

“You look so fucking good today baby… Say, Big Fine, lemme get your number… I’mma eat the f-” he trails off kissing your legs and letting his tongue trail up it and you grab his chin softly.

“Boy if you don’t come on before you be late for your appointment… Can I stop and get a blue raspberry slushie first though?” you ask him and he sighs softly before giving you a small smile and nodding.

“Yeah, hold on let me grab your shoes and purse and then we can go.”

“And obviously yes when we come back before I install that lace front you can beat, duh.” you reply to him before giving him a peck to his lips.

After he grabs everything and helps you down the stairs. And with his help of putting you into his big ass truck you two are on your way.

“We’re going to get my hair cut first cause I already know you’re going to want to go to 2 different stores and it’s only gon’ take him about 15 minutes at the most to line me up.”

He wasn’t lying with the way that you liked to scan every section of the store before you left because to be honest where else were you going to get a pair of skittle shorts, bomb ass lip glosses, and a cute little panda hand sanitizer holder all in one place?

“Okay, sounds like a plan.. The way that I was supposed to have a hot girl summer this year and ended up with a damn its too hot for me to even put my clothes on mom summer. You really were not playing about trying to start a family on your birthday.” you joke as you crunch on your goldfish and look over at Erik.

“I think you just got finer through this whole thing. Watching my baby grow my baby is something surreal. In the beginning watching you go through all of the morning sickness and the body aches and stuff. I felt so bad you know not being able to physically take on all that was going on with you. I aint gon’ never not be appreciative and awe of you.” Erik replies with a serious comment that you were not expecting and you’d be damned if the hormones aren’t doing their thing.

“I really did not expect you to say that. Baabbbee, come on. You know I cry about everything right now. Love you.” you lean over to wrap your arms around him gently and kiss the side of his face while he’s focusing on the road.

“I love you too…. I think I’mma get my locs cut off soon. I don’t know why I’m ready to get a fade and just call it a day.” he questions before looking over at you briefly

“Either way you still gonna look good. I knew you before you even got your locs so you’re gonna look even better now because you grew into your head. Dee be cutting the fuck outta your hair even though he been bald for a good 40 years.” you say and it causes Erik to let out a loud laugh and shake his head.

You eventually ended up ordering a blue raspberry lemonade slushie, a hotdog and fries because Sonic basically took all of Erik's money at this point in your pregnancy.

The rest of your ride was chill as you both swayed to the music or turned it down for a little chat every now and then.

In public was always very protective of you but especially since becoming pregnant he has been hovering over you like a lion waiting for someone to even look at you for too long.

He hops out of the sleek matte black truck first to help you out and sling his arm around your waist with a hand resting on your belly.

You feel some eyes on you as you walk through the door. Your multi-coloured sundress that showcased your back, flowing with you.

Some of the men, new to the shop you assumed, were eyeing you down before Erik looked over their way and nods at them and they pretended to check their phones.

“What's up E? Damn lil sis look like she’s about to pop! How you feeling baby girl?” Dee greets you and Erik as you both walk in and some of the regulars in there say hey to the both of you.

“I’m alright Dee. Baby is just really ready to see the world. She has been kicking up a storm at times. I think we might have a little athlete here.” you reply and you watch as the greyed man with freckles across his cheeks and bridge of his nose eyes crinkle as he finishes cutting the man's hair sitting in the chair.

“I remember when I became a father for the first time. Shits wild because you think that you know everything there is to know and then when you actually see your baby take that first breath. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.” He continues as he shows you a photo of his 4 children and you give him a small smile.

“Ooh, they’re beautiful.” you compliment him as you settle into your seat and scroll on your phone on your phone waiting for Erik to be next.

Some time went by and the men seemed like they were trying to keep their conversation in a hush and you can see some eyes on you as they talked back and forth.

“I’m just saying if you want a threesome with your girl and you expect her to be okay with letting another woman into her bed. You need to match her energy. Could you imagine your girl asking you to bring a whole nother man into your room if that’s not what you’re into? Instead of asking for it. Maybe try bringing toys into the situation. Could spice it up a notch and be in both of your comfort zones. Personally, couples vibrators seem to do the trick just fine.” You advise as you look up from scrolling on your Pinterest feed.

The little huddle of them in front of you stopped talking and immediately looked up at you in silence before Dee’s laugh broke it.

“I don’t know about bringing another man in. That ain't my thing but I get what you're saying. Which ones would you recommend?” The one named Leron asked and you notice Erik is now paying attention , looking from you to them to make sure they stay respectful.

“You better let them know , baby girl! That’s how that baby popped into fruition. She got you with the tantric breathing, huh E?” he jokes and Erik cracks into a smile, his golds gleaming as he looks at you.

“She not wrong. Engage in what your woman like too. Yoga, talking during sex, giving as much as you receive from her, all that. ” He says casually and shrugging and you give him a small smile cause this man done come so far from when you met him.

After he finishes lining up his beard, Erik pays and you’re on your way to one of your favourite places.

“You look so sexy. Your beard is all lined up crisp and stuff. I told you that beard oil was gonna even it out.” you say to him and kiss him below his ear . His hand gripped your thigh gently and you repeated it again.

It didn’t take long before you were at one of your favourite places.

You turned to Erik and asked him to buy a stocking cap for you to try on the wigs that you liked and wanted to see before you purchased it.

You slid on the stocking cap over your hair before grabbing a cute little 27 piece pixie cut wig just to try it on and see what it was giving . You finger combed it and turned to Erik to ask him how it looks.

“Like you finna start singing “Truth is i’m tired. Take me to the king. Here’s my offering-” .” You hold in your laugh as you push Erik’s chest and he grabs your hands.

“I can’t stand your ass !” You say cracking up and Erik grabs the stocking cap from his pocket that he brought himself and slides it over his locs.

You watch as he grabs one of the bobs from the mannequin and sits it half cocked on his head before shaking it side to side.

“What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold. You know what to do doooo. You know what to doooo.... This is your grand daddy. This is your grand daddy.” Erik starts acting like Andre 3000 and Mr. Brown. You swear this man was gonna make you push out this baby with how hard you were laughing at him.

“Why are you moving your lips like thaaat? What’s your name? B.O.B, so they calling you Bob? Stop playing nigga you know that I’m known for the bob.” you sing the nicki minaj lyrics to him and both of y’all get a good laugh before he takes off the wig and places it carefully back on the mannequin.

He looks over at the one that looked the most like your hair before you got it cut and slides it on.

His expressions changed and he narrowed his eyes at you before putting his hand on his stomach.

“Whew, my god E. You did this to me and for what? My ankles looking like cornbread huh? Look at this shit bae! If my nose swells for real in these next months, we fighting. Damn, I’m getting thick. I look like I'm pregnant in the front and the back. Can you get me two shrimp po’boys and some fries on the way home? ERIK, wake up- You our baby look like Stitch in this ultrasound? Stop playing , im for real.” he sounds exactly like you and mimicked your expressions to a t.

You giggled softly and snatched his wig off leaving him standing there looking crazy in the cap.

“You wanna fight?” You ask him before walking up on him like you’re on bad girls club and swinging the wig at him.

He helped you put the wig back on the mannequin and kissed both of your hands before continuing through the aisle with you.

You both ignored how many times the employee passed by or watched you as you grabbed some of the products from the shelf and put it into your little cart that you wanted to try.

“You wish this was you, huh? You wanted to be Future from 8 Mile so bad, huh? ” you ask Erik , laughing as you point to the full lace faux locs wig that’s in front of you and he shakes his head.

“She got you down bad. This you?” he asks you as he points to the lil gold church wig that’s sitting on the top shelf and you suck your teeth at him .

“You wanna dip dye your hair for tomorrow? A pretty auburn colour would look so good on you or even a baby blue?” You ask him as you move away from the wigs after deciding to put a off black lace front straight wig in your cart and another in sandy blonde with deep waves.

You scan the shelf of dye as Erik wraps his arm around your waist and takes a look.

“This one looks good right here.” He adds as he hands you a colour called Electric Blue.

“This is gonna look so good on you bae.” You compliment him and he leans down to kiss you softly.

“You only tryna compliment me cause you want me to help you install that wig. You think you slick bae.” he calls as he walks off towards the hair care products for his locs.

“Well, if I’m finna use the little energy I have to retwist your hair you could at least extend the helping hand!” You call after him.

“I haven’t tried peppermint oil yet but it should be good to add to my mix? Look, I found this small ass bonnet. She’s gonna be able to match us.” He says walking back to you and showing you the lilac bonnet in his hand and you swear you were about to tear up again cause all 3 of you were gonna have matching bonnets and durag.

“If she takes after both of us she’s gonna have a head full of hair. To cover that melon from your side.” You tease him

“Come on and grab your butterfly wings for your eyes so we can go home and finish our show. I’mma cook them snow crabs for you too.” he says to you and you can see him watching you like you hung the moon in the sky yourself as you venture off.

You grabbed the edge control, lashes, a new lipstick, earrings, glosses, Got2b spray, and some accessories for Erik’s hair before meeting him at the counter.

It took him all of two seconds to pay for your beauty supply store addiction and you were off on your way back to the crib to love on him.

Erik was currently standing behind you while you sat in the chair in his old large tshirt and held down the wig to the Ghost Bond glue.

You were talking him through helping you finish the install because you just didn't have the energy to do it.

“Okay you gon’ take a lil piece and wrap it around the wand. But please be careful baby. This one goes from like 0 to a 400 degrees so fast.” you warn and watch in the mirror as he takes the first piece and follows your instructions.

You watch him for a while focusing on your head and asking if you liked the way that it’s turning out. You smile softly at him and nod.

“I'm so grateful , you know. “ you say to him with a pout

“Damn, I was just about to send you a do you like me back yes or no text after this too.” he jokes and you shake your head.

“I’m tryna be serious and appreciate you-” you are cut off by him leaning down and pushing his plump lips out for a kiss from you

“I love you too. 2 more weeks and I get to have my two babies in my arms. What more could I want? ”

Tag list: @doublesidedscoobysnacks

@chaneajoyyy

@mirandkimy

@doitforthevine67

@dasia21

@depressionandfandomsinc

@wholelotta-melanin

@theesotericqueen

@mbakuwife

@spookys-girl

@teardropzih

@bigchoose

@ceo-of-baby

@sweetpeachjones

@lost-ssoull

@shyblackgurl

@nijajoha

@imayhavemisunderstood

(Long post. Sorry I'm still learning how to do the read more thing! Sorry for being gone from here for so long. This one really helped me ease back into writing especially after how much love the first one received!)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #430

“when the girl in the corner is everyone’s woman, she could kill you with a wink of her eye”

What kind of dog do you find most ugly? What a mean question. ;-; I don't think they're ugly, but I probably find chihuahuas to be the least visually appealing. Do you like wood floors or carpet better? Wood. Do you think the USA bullies other countries? Quite frankly, yes. Are you currently in love right now? No. Favorite fast food joint? Sonic. What would you do if your ex contacted you? THE ex, have a panic attack. Cry. Be wordlessly ecstatic. Be scared and confused. Do you still have feelings for your ex? Two, yes, but one is unrealistic considering I have no idea who he is anymore. It's been way too long for me to possibly, accurately like him. Ever tasted a flavored condom? No. Do you know CPR? No. How much do you care about your best friend? I'd die for her. Do you watch Dr. Phil? No. What age would you like to have a child? I don't want kids ever. Are your parents wealthy? Mom, absolutely not. Dad seems to be financially stable, but not wealthy or anything. Pick one state you’d love to live in? Alaska. How many pets do you want? And of what? Man, I want a LOT. I know I want more ball python morphs, a plains hognose, a woma python, numerous tarantulas, a fat-tailed gecko, a boa, orchid mantises, a sphynx, a tegu would be super cool... I'd love to have like an empire of pets one day, aha, but only so long as I could maintain them all and adequately provide for them. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. When do you want to get married? I mean, I don't have a set age in mind. I want to get married when I'm ready. Can you play a musical instrument? I played the flute for yeeeaaaars in middle and high school, but I remember almost nothing by now. What if you stopped orgasming for the rest of your life? Idc, honestly. Does money make you happy? Money probably makes me happier than it should, but I'm not like madly in love with it or anything. Happens when you're poor your whole life. Your favorite breakfast food? Ugh, cinnamon rolls are a godsend. When was the last time you went to a funeral? I actually don't think I've ever been to one... only wakes. I really, really wish I could have gone to Jason's mom's, though... There was just no fucking way that I was going to risk upsetting Jason on THAT day of all days by popping up. Have you ever stolen someone’s boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, we never actually dated, but you could say that... Tell me the date of your first kiss. I don't know the exact date, but it was March 2012. Are your legs long or short? Normal, I guess? How many phobias do you have? Man, a lot. Is there a bookshelf in your room? No. Do you use the Facebook chat often? Barely at all. I only really use it to chat with Girt on the rare occasion we talk. Who got you hooked on the addiction you're addicted to (If you have one)? I discovered Mark on my own; I needed help in an Amnesia: The Dark Descent custom story, so I found his playthrough and watched it. Got a few laughs, subscribed. It was Jason who introduced me to Amnesia, though, so I can indirectly thank him, I guess? haha Are you currently worried about your parents finding out about something? No. Have you ever lived with a friend? Yeah, for a couple months. Have you ever only liked someone because you found out they liked you? No. Ever been on a real diet, or did you just stop eating? I've tried multiple diets. Have you ever known a white supremacist? I know multiple. Welcome to the South. Do you like the smell of a barbecue? Yesss. It's funny because I hate the food itself. Have you ever gone out in public in your pajamas? Yeah. It's not rare, if I'm being honest. How many times have you been to the ER? Too many times because of being suicidal. How many people are you currently texting? None. Anything exciting coming up? My nephew's birthday is in a few days! Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? Money, so I can use it for anything. Do you have Instagram? I have three, ha ha. One for my basic photography, another for my morbid photos, and I went through a very short phase of having an Instagram for my pets. It still exists, but I don't really use it. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do ladders scare you? Yes. Hot dogs or hamburgers? Cheeseburgers may possibly be my favorite food. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? I do. Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? I've owned plenty of black cats. What album is the last song you listened to from? It's from Disguise. What’s the last funny movie you watched? Probably Elf. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Mom's, yes. I only remember the month of my dad's. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you pick? I think I want to get my tribute to Teddy next. How do you feel about band tattoos? Hey, go for it. I see nothing wrong with it. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Probably snakebites. Lip piercings in general are hot lmao. Are you any good at applying make up? Noooo, my hands are so shaky. How old were the last 3 people you kissed? Sara's 23; idr the exact ages of Girt and Tyler. I think Tyler was a year younger than me, and Girt is at the bare minimum three years older than me. If you found out you got someone pregnant, what would you do? Well, I'm a cisgender female, so... Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? Very frequently. Do you like your cell phone? I mean it's fine, but I'd like a new one. Is rap your favorite genre of music? No, it's actually my least favorite. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Oh god, no. Do people think you’re happy? I think it's safe to say most people who know me know I'm clinically depressed. Or you know... maybe not. Quite a few people have been surprised to learn that about me because I can put on a good facade. What band would you stand in line for 24 hours to see? None, honestly. That's way too long. What was your worst childhood experience? I guess my dad's alcoholism. As a child, I thought it was a normal thing, but I do wonder if my fear of men has anything to do with how volatile drinking had a 50/50 chance of making him. He never hurt anyone, but he was just so mad and hateful towards the world sometimes. You can trade another person’s emotions for your own. Whose do you take? I have no idea. What was/is going to be your first waltz at your wedding? That'll depend on my partner and what song means the most to us/fits us best. "When It's Love" by Van Halen has been a consideration for forever, though. When it’s not summer, what do you miss most about it? I hate summer. I miss nothing about it. Do you consider yourself patriotic? No. What is the one thing that you need to do to die happy? Feel like I accomplished something notable. Do you consider yourself mainstream? No. What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing on cold medicine. What is life’s greatest mystery? Probably from whence we came. Humanity has fished for a definite answer forever. What was your favourite make-believe game as a kid? Pretending I was a meerkat hiding in a "burrow" that was a blanket fort, ha ha. Do you try your best at everything? Honestly, no. Who is your shoulder to cry on? My mom, without fail. What’s your standard excuse for not doing something? I dunno... it depends on the topic. Name the most beautiful person you know. As far as physical appearance goes, my friend Alon. Have you ever been to jail? No. What is one moment you wish you could have taken a picture of? Sara's face when I surprised her at her house for her birthday. It was absolutely fucking priceless. What place holds the most memories for you? Jason's house. Who was your first date? My puppy dog-love middle school bf Aaron. We went with a group of friends to a skating rink. My first one-on-one date was Jason. What’s the best trip you’ve ever been on? The zoo in 5th grade. It's the one and only time I've seen meerkats. For some weird reason, our zoo moved the meerkats not long after that visit. I THINK they said the environment just wasn't suitable for them, which I never really got... I think they mentioned the cold, but like, you have heating for them, and also, have you ever experienced a desert night? You consider all the other areas that have meerkats in their zoos and it's like... why, man. Bring my meerkats back. ;_; What do you think the earth will look like in 1,000 years? Oh dear God, I do NOT want to visualize that. My gut tells me it'll be a wasteland, probably without humans or most forms of life we have now. We have to get our shit straight, so very badly. I could rant for hours about how horribly and ungratefully we abuse our planet. Who makes you happy to be around? Sara! I feel like I can be my 100% authentic self, and we just vibe really well together. Like every time I've been there and she here, our friendship felt so natural and chill. I really, really need to save up for another trip up there. What secret have you tried to hide but it got out anyway? I kept the Joel situation to myself from pretty much everyone, but it eventually came out in front of Mom and Jason. It was actually the night of the breakup; I don't remember how it was relevant at all to mention, but I did in some form. Mom wisely never asked about it, and Jason obviously didn't. I was a stupid 12-year-old anyway, it's whatever now. Who/what is your everything? I will never. Ever. In five billion millennia. Let anyone be that again. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Ummm three? I think that's it. How many exes do you have? If I include everyone who ever had a title of "boyfriend/girlfriend," I have six. Who was your worst relationship with? Tyler. It was just pointless and the result of nothing but loneliness. What’s your ‘label’? (ex. punk, prep) I really, really don't care. Do you swear? How much? Like a sailor. I swore some beforehand, but I got really bad when Jason and I started dating. He swore a lot, and his mother did even more. I was around them as much as possible, so it rubbed off on me. What is the one thing that would make everything in your life fall apart? Losing my family, like being disowned or something like that. Especially when it comes to Mom. I rely on her so heavily, as much as I hate that. :/ What takes your breath away? Nature is very capable of that. Something like seeing big waterfalls in the mountains or something would marvel me. Are you patient? No, honestly. Are you a good dancer? No. Even when I took dance, I don't think I was great; however, I do think I was pretty skilled at clogging. Who would you call first in a life-threatening situation (not 911)? My mom. Who do you miss? Jason and his family, Megan, Alex, Hannia, Emily, Journee... a lot of people. Do you like snakes? I adore snakes.

[robotnik-mun]

So, what happens when I decide to throw caution to the wind and mash together as many fucking Sonic Continuities as I possibly can? You get a big ass tangle of a family tree that needs to be split up into five separate images, that’s what. 

It’s ugly, it’s unpolished, and I made it on a whim. Because the mental image wouldn’t leave me. And because I actually started developing this godforsaken nightmare of a family tree, born of merged continuities, headcanons, and sleep deprivation. 

Now keep in mind that this thing is pure crack- it implies a world where Sonic eventually collapses from exhaustion of having to fight TWO Robotniks. It’s a mish mash of what-if’s, continuity mergers and personal ideas glued together. And I wanna stress it has nothing to directly do with my current setting- this is just like, The Path of Insanity. 

Anyway, yeah. Against my better judgement I made notes for this insanity. Also, you may notice pictures of characters from other franchises being used as portraits for various characters. Those are basically faceclaims of sorts, meant as abstract representations rather than the literal idea of what they looked like... since, honestly, even I’M not cruel enough to inflict my ‘art’ on you. 

Anyway, let’s get the ball rolling- 

“Robotnikhotep”

-Robotnik Ancestor in ‘Mobigypt’. Was probably some big important muckity-muck.

“Julius Robotnikus”

-Probably Mobius’ answer to Caligula. His family eventually fell out of power and was forced to re-settle in what would eventually become Overland. 

Ivo Kintobor

-Yeah, that whole ‘House of Ivo’ thing? This is the guy responsible. Most likely a douchenozzle, as there is a high concentration of that in the bloodline. Basically a minor warlord who unified a bunch of clans to form his own Kingdom, that was subsequently absorbed into Overland during the unification. 

Brutus Kintobor

-Oh wow, a SKINNY Robotnik/Kintobor. This douche canoe attempted to conquer Angel Island for the Overland, but failed miserably. Sent back home in disgrace, a failure.

Gerald Robotnik

- Originally born Gerald Kintobor of the House of Ivo in Overland. He was more interested in science than politics, and after completing college he left that mess behind and immigrated to the United Federation. He changed his name to signify the break from his family history. 

-Explored Angel Island in his youth, where he learned about Chaos Emeralds and the like from the various ruins there. He was even friends with then-guardian Janelle-Li. 

-Started up Robotnik CORPS. He founded it as a way to disseminate his technology to the people of the UF and earn money to fund more experiments. 

-You know the rest. The ARK, Maria, NIDS, Black Doom, Shadow, yadda-yadda-yadda. 

Olga Robotnik

-Gerald’s wife. Duh. 

-She met him while he lived in a spare room her father was renting out. She’d collect his rent. They grew close and eventually had kids and started a family. 

-The shit this poor woman endured is amazing, but she managed to remain unbroken by it, and tried to remain close to her surviving grandchildren. 

Grigory Robotnik

- The first son of Gerald. He wasn’t a genius, but he pursued a career in academics and became a doctor of physics. He had two children, Warren and Maria.

-After the ARK incident he became paranoid and accused the government of covering up what really happened. The obsession to uncover the truth destroyed his physical and mental health, and he died a shunned outcast ranting on pirated radio stations about various conspiracies. 

-Died in a halfway house, but he managed to get ahold of Gerald’s diary before biting it. While he never got to use it to bring down GUN, it still paved the way for Eggman’s eventual use. 

Amelia Robotnik 

-Maria’s mother. After the ARK incident and the supposed death of her children, she fell into a deep depression and eventually committed suicide. In case you haven’t noticed, the story of the Robotnik family is depressing as fuck. 

Warren Robotnik, ‘Warpnik’ 

-Maria’s brother. What a tweest! 

-He was with her on the ARK, and demonstrated a similar scientific gift to his grandfather. He wasn’t close to Shadow the way Maria was. 

-When the ARK was raided, he was captured and subjected to brainwashing treatments by GUN in the hopes of turning him into a loyal, in-house mad scientist. All it did was make him batshit crazy. 

-He escaped some time during the Great War, and is now loose in Mobius, a lunatic geneticist fixated on continuing his grandfather’s ‘great work’... or at least his own warped perception of it. 

Maria Robotnik 

-You know her. You love her. Her life is a tragedy. She’s Maria! Nuff said. Years later, and she still weighs heavily on Shadow. 

Ivo Kintobor

-And here is where things get a bit confusing! Ivo was born ‘Ivo Robotnik’, the second son of Gerald. Long story short, he was a douche more interested in politics and profit, and as such did not get along with his father, who bequeathed the family company to his younger brother. 

-Despite this, Ivo SOMEHOW managed to reproduce. And when the ARK incident happened, he bought the government line hook line and sinker. He changed the family name back to Kintobor and moved everyone back to Overland to start anew. 

-He’s like 50% responsible for Julian winding up the way he did. 

-And yes- he DOES want to bulldoze the puppy orphanage to create a combination oil rig/toxic waste dump. 

-Was murdered by Julian, who disguised it as an accident. 

Lydia Kintobor

-ICE BABY ICE. 

-Julian and Colin’s mom. 

-She 100% supported her husband’s douchery, and was an active participant in tormenting her secondborn son in the hopes of ‘breaking’ him out of being a genius. 

-Killed in the same ‘accident’ that took her husband’s life. 

Colin Kintobor Sr. 

-Born in the United Federation, but moved to the Overland as a child and grew up there. 

-Major league Nationalist and Human Supremacist. Prick. 

-Hated Julian basically forever and was encouraged by his parents to do so. He became their ‘golden child’ and was pushed to succeed at everything. 

-Pursued a career in politics, law, and the military, and eventually served as a general in the Great War. 

-Was eventually murdered by his own brother

Miriam Kintobor 

-Colin’s first wife, via arranged marriage. 

-She was pretty much his opposite, yet despite that fact the two came to genuinely love one another. 

-Died giving birth to their son. Have I mentioned the Kintobor/Robotnik family history is a trainwreck yet? 

Angela Kintobor

-The second wife of Colin. She probably met him while serving as a military functionary during the Great War. She is also the mother of Hope Kintobor. 

-Other than that, I got nothin’. She likely died when Hope was young, by way of Swatbot invasion. Seriously, do NOT become a Kintobor Love Interest. 

Colin “Snively” Kintobor Jr. 

-You know him, you hate him! It’s the Snivster, bay-bee! 

-His mother died giving birth to him. His dad blamed him for this. You can guess the rest. 

-You know most of the story- crappy childhood, admired his uncle Julian, helped him take over the Kingdom of Acorn, spent a decade as his punching bag, etc etc. 

-After seemingly offing Julian during Endgame, he briefly took over the Robotnik Empire.... and promptly lost it to Naugus, forcing him to flee for his life. In exchange for information about Robotropolis’ defenses, King Acorn spared his life but sentenced him to be imprisoned forever.

-Was busted out by a returned Julian so that his uncle would be able to properly ‘thank’ him for losing his empire. Helped the FFs to escape Robotnik’s revenge, and after spending time bumming around with them (and hating it) decided to throw in his lot with Crazy Uncle Ivo. 

-He’s regretted it ever since... though he sticks with him because its either Ivo or Julian, and Julian will ensure his death is cruel, messy, and lingers for years to come. 

Hope Kintobor 

-The second child of Colin Kintobor. She was born during the later years of the Great War and spent much of her early life living in siege conditions as Overland tried and failed to stop the advancement of Robotnik. 

-Eventually she witnessed the death of her father and remaining family at the hands of Robotnik before being saved by Sonic. She had an extended stay in Knothole afterwards, where she slowly learned that much of her people’s views of Mobians was innacurate. 

-She eventually moved to the United Federation as a ward of GUN, serving as the technology expert for Team Dark. She is close to all of them. 

-Seeks to redeem the name of her family so that it’s legacy won’t be one of bloodshed, conquest and madness. She’s got a waaaays to go, to put it mildlry. 

-Despite everything she still cares about her awful, awful half-brother. 

Dr. Julian Robotnik 

-Had a REALLY goddamned crappy....well, life, basically. Take my word for it. 

-Has basically murdered his entire immediate family by this point. 

-Prior to the Great War he aided the Overlander Ministry of Conflict in toppling the legitimate government of the Kingdom of Amunopolis (Aleena’s Kingdom), forcing it’s royal family to flee to the Kingdom of Acorn and re-settle under new identities, with crown princess becoming ‘Bernadette Hedgehog’. That’s right- he’s indirectly responsible for Sonic existing. 

-Blah blah blah evil experiments blah blah war crimes blah blah sentenced to be executed by Overlander government during the Great War and blah blah blah coup.

-Took over a large swathe of Mobius and expanded to conquer more, and for a time seemed like he might conquer the entire planet. The Robotnik Empire is.... not a fun place. Then or now.

-Then Sonic and the FF’s happened. Then Endgame happened, and he was... indisposed for a while, leading to his empire being diminished. While he has returned, he has suffered numerous setbacks since then, and the Robotnik Empire is now greatly diminished from its peak. 

-That being said, he still rules a pretty big part of the planet, and is still the biggest danger to the world at present.

-Hates his cousin Ivo.

-REALLY goddamn hates That Hedgehog. 

Laura Kintobor 

-That’s Doctor Laura Kintobor (nee Ellison) to you, buster. 

-She and Julian both worked as scientists with Overland’s science ministry, where they met and befriended one another. She eventually managed to coax Julian out of his shell, and their friendship bloomed into a romance, which led to the two marrying. 

-She worked in the organic sciences division and was an expert on biology and zoology. In contrast to most scientists, she was very much an outdoorswoman. Even managed to convince Julian to partake. 

-Much like her unfortunate sister-in-law, she died in childbirth... giving birth to a stillborn daughter. 

-Yeah, this shit is grim. 

Theodore Robotnik

-Third son of Gerald. Blatantly named in reference to Theodore Roosevelt, who was used as a visual reference for Eggman.

-Basically a professional beancounter who later inherited Robotnik CORPS. He chose to stick with his original name even after the ARK incident, and struggled to keep Robotnik CORPS afloat in the immediate aftermath of the incident. 

-Set up a trust fund for his son Ivo, and tried his best to raise him to be a contributing member of society. 

-Sufficed to say, that didn’t work. If he’s still alive, he has a REALLY tense relationship with his son. 

-Named his son after his older brother as a passive-aggressive act of spite for abandoning the ‘Robotnik’ name. 

Dolores Robotnik 

-Mother of Ivo. She was a professor of chemistry who decided to put her career on hold in order to be homemaker. 

-Was much closer to her son than Theodore was, and often wound up having to play peacemaker between the two. ESPECIALLY during Ivo’s tumultous teenage years. 

-Sufficed to say she is not exactly pleased with how he turned out, assuming she’s still alive even. 

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik

-HE IS THE EGGMAN. HE’S GOT THE MASTER PLAN! Really, do you NEED to know any more? 

-Well, okay, you do. He was born very shortly before the ARK incident and never knew his grandfather. 

-His childhood wasn’t horrible, but it was rough in areas due to his high intelligence making things more difficult for him than they should of be. Loads of disagreements with his dad over pursuing science. Spent years plagued by the derogatory name of ‘Eggman’ due to his weight problems. 

-You know how you fantasize about ruling the world as a kid? He never really left that stage of things. 

-He initially worked as a research scientist in the fields of AI and energy. During the Great War he was approached by GUN to develop weapons for them. His research would go on to form the basis of the robotic soldiers later used by them in the Robotnik war. 

-Began his plot to take over Mobius during his time there, and secretly began to appropriate resources and machines to build a hidden base on the distant South Island. Eventually his schemes were discovered by GUN, but he fled. 

-While his cousin conquered portions of Mobius elsewhere, Eggman began his long term Death Egg scheme as a means of conquering Mobius in one fell swoop with the aid of the Chaos Emeralds. 

-You can guess how it goes from here- he encounters Sonic on South Island and in the Scrap Brain Zone and is defeated, thus setting the tone for MANY other defeats in the future. He eventually took on the name ‘Dr. Eggman’ as a way to differentiate himself from his cousin, and to make the insult that dogged his life into a name to be feared ala ‘Penguin’. 

-When his cousin Julian was seemingly killed and the Robotnik Empire in dissarray, Eggman started new bids to take over the world. He established the Metropolis Zone as his ‘capital city’ and founded the Egg Army to help supplement his Badnik Horde. The Eggman Empire now exists as a terrorist army at the beck and call of Dr. Eggman, though he’s still got a ways to go. 

-Has four sons by three different women. Slut. 

???

-Haven’t got a name for her yet. She was a random girl that a college age Ivo knocked up, which putty much put an end to her collegiate ambitions. She gave birth to two sons, one of whom she bitterly named ‘Ivan’ as a reminder of his origins after failing to get child support out of her babydaddy. She re-married and is currently leading a comfortable enough life. Humors her son because she knows it annoys his biological father. 

Ivan Eggman

-The oldest of Eggman’s sons. In his mid 30s or so. Scientifically gifted, as his father was. 

-Has numerous, numerous issues pertaining to his stepfather, a hard and strict man with little toleration for nonsense.

-Idolizes his biological father and desperately wants to be acknowledged by him, even changing his original surname to ‘Eggman’. Eggman the 1st was NOT amused. 

-Eventually founded a company, Eggman Industries, and grew rich rapidly. Settled by the Bygone Islands where he pursues life as a ‘villain’ now, though really he’s more like a public nuisance than anything. 

-Honestly he’s basically living a ‘second childhood’ of sorts using his scientific know-how and riches, and has vowed to one day impress his father and earn his acknowledgement. As you can imagine, it is.... not working out at all, given that he’s even more of a goober than his pop. 

-Ironically, he isn’t naturally bald- he SHAVES his head. 

Steve  

-Yeah, he ain’t a robot here- Steve is the organic, younger (by about a minute) twin brother of Ivan. 

-Utterly unconcerned with science or any of that jazz. He’s basically a bohemian beach bum, complete with californian accent- he spends much of his time surfing and earning cash from side jobs. 

-Really mellow and easy-going, and doesn’t really dwell on stuff. 

-Utter himbo. 

Mrs. Robotnik 

- Ex-Wife of Ivo Robotnik. Haven’t given it too much thought, but she and Ivo met while working in acadamia, and eventually married. 

-Initially the relationship was pretty solid, and they even had a child together. However things swiftly deteriorated between the two as Ivo’s immaturity and increasing anger at the world strained their relationship, along with him being a lousy parent to their son. She eventually divorced his ass. 

-After going through a rough patch with her son, she has begun to re-connect with him after his years a delinquent, and now happily supports his endeavors. 

Ivo Robotnik Jr. 

-Middle son of Dr. Eggman. Had a nonexistant relationship with his father while growing up, which combined with the divorce eventually turned him into a juvenile delinquent. 

-He roamed with a biker gang for a while, and prefers to be called ‘Junior’ rather than ‘Ivo’. 

-Fell in with Breezie for a while, the both of them unaware of the other’s connection to Eggman. They eventually went their separate ways once Junior began to turn over a new leaf. He still carries a torch for her, though is painfully aware it’d never work out. Their relationship is... complicated, these days.

-Has since become a software security engineer, making a living providing Anti-Eggman/Robotnik software to companies. 

Lindsey Thorndyke

-A famed actress. She and Ivo had a drunken tryst at a wrap party where he’d been invited to act as a consultant on scientific accuracy. To avoid scandal she informed her husband, and they passed off the baby as their own. 

-What more do you want. Its LINDSEY. 

Chris Thorndyke 

-The youngest son of Ivo Robotnik. Spent much of his life completely unaware of his true parentage. 

-Eh, what can I say, I kind like the theory of him actually being a Robotnik in some capacity or the next. 

-When he was a boy, he befriended Sonic and his friends and even hosted them during the days when Eggman’s schemes for global conquest caused him to haunt Station Square for a while. 

-Admired his grandfather Chuck and pursued science to be like him, studying physics and engineering. 

-Thanks to his mom he’s something of a film buff. 

-In college he learned the truth of his heritage. This has put a strain on his relationship with his parents.

Francis Kintobor 

-The youngest of Gerald’s sons. Pursued a career as a schoolteacher. While he changed his name in the aftermath of the ARK incident as his older brother Ivo had, he chose to make a small joke at his brother’s expense over the ludicrousness of the name change by naming his own son ‘Ovi Kintobor’. 

-Named after Francis Mao, aka That Guy Who Made That One Comic Adaptation From 1991. 

Elizabeth Kintobor

-Dr. Ovi Kintobor’s mother. A career veterinarian with a strong love of animals. That’s about it. 

Ovi Kintobor 

- Grew up on Westside Island, among Mobians. Had a pretty happy and contented childhood, and like many of the other various members of the Kintobor/Robotnik clan developed a pronounced interest and skill in science at a young age. 

-Developed a particular interest in researching Chaos Emeralds.

-A Concientious Objector, he served as a medic during the Great War.

-Deeply, deeply shamed by the actions of his more notorious cousins, he has essentially hidden himself from the world to pursue his research and evade their notice, while helping against them in whatever way he can. 

-Has secretly transported people threatened by his cousins to safer places, and once caused a mass sabotage of their respective robotic forces through the ‘Nicenik Virus’. 

-An ally of the Freedom Fighters. 

-Deeply distrusts GUN (which frankly isn’t a bad call).

-Bit of a hippy, but really is a genuinely nice guy who wants to help others through science. 

-In some villages he is known as ‘Mr. Tinker’. 

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! and Quack Pack! Review/Thoughts

Hello errybody, I’ve decided being a huge fan of this verison of Ducktales, and someone who likes reviewing stuff and going on and on at length about it, to review this season’s episodes as they come out, both to get me writing critically again, and to get more non chat content on the old tumblr.  First, while you likely don’t care a little about my history with the ducks; While I , sadly though i’m trying to correct it, haven’t read MUCH of Carl Barks classic donald duck comics nor that of his avid fanboy and clear sucessor in quality and talent Don Rosa, I did read Rosa’s utter classic “The LIfe and Times of Scrooge” mcduck in high school and the story stuck with me sense. I’ll go into Life and Times another day hopefully, but naturally when the reboot was announced I was excited.. a great voice cast, and donald,my boy, as part of the main cast. The show has been a joy to behold and with steven universe having taken a bow JUST a week ago and Covid ravaging our lives, it coudln’t of picked a better time. But do these episodes keep the momentum from an utterly marvelous second half of season 2? The short answer is “Fuck yes” but the long answer is under the cut. 

Challenge of the Junior Senior Woodchucks! While “Challenge of the x” is a popular snowclone title I can’t help but think of superfriends with the title... or now I thought of it shortly before writing this, hearing “Meanwhile at the legion of doom” when they cut to fowl.. or rather “Meanwhile at FOWL” but in that same announcers voice. I”m a dork, that should be obvious But I was hyped for both episodes: Violet is a faviorite mine, I ship her with huey so them interacting for the first time was wonderful to me, and.. okay the subplot didn’t hook me and we’ll get to that, but we had her dads and one of my other faviorites (I have several, get used to it now) , Lena , at least putting in an apperance. And honestly.. the main plot lived up to it. As I said I didn’t really dig the sub plot, more on that in a second, but I REALLY enjoyed this. From the begining Huey was my faviorite of the three triplets, easily, as it’s fairly easy for me a grown ass dork with anxiety, self confidence, anger issues, depression and constant self doubt, to relate to a little duck with the same and I’ve loved Danny Pudi since community, so naturally I was excited for his turn for a spotlight season.  And again the show didn’t disapoint.. Huey has a rather decent arc with some unexpected turns: First unexpectly, the trailer lied as while Huey and Violet look ultra competiive, theirs no real confilct..s econds after that bit the two shake hands (after a good 20 seconds of adorable and hilarous failure to do so that fits both like a glove.), and try to be good sports. The problem is instead internal: As Huey muses to his siblings (Webby very much included, getting her own great bit of encouraging Huey while also assuring Violet she’s also great he just needs it more, which is accurate) “If i’m not hte best junior woodchuck who am I”. Like Louie last season towards the begining (when he didn’t have a clear purpose in their adventuring dynamic) and towards the end (When della nearly took it away from him), he’s nothing without his sense of who he is. It’s easily why he’s the one to comfort him when his other siblings are either torn between two friends or you know, Dewey. Louie knows what it’s like to be rattled about who you are.  And WHY Violet outclassing him rattles him so much is intreating and to me makes a ton of sense: Huey’s identity to me is so wrapped in his intellegence and woodchuckery because , besides being oldest, it’s what he HAS on his brothers. When you think about it, Louie is the charmer, Dewey is charsmaticin his own way and loves hogging attention not to mention being fairly athletic... to stand out Huey NEEDS his brains to be the one with facts, and plans and his book.  He may not be the first on the front lines but he’s the first to solve a trap or figure out where they are if scrooge or his mom hasn’t already.. and if someone’s markdely better at that, and worse in an activity that’s wholy his own and now it’s been revealed impmortant to his mom.. just who is he.  The poor kid simply breaks down at the thought and takes bigger and stupider risks, which is sad to watch.. and thankfully lightned by his delightful mental brekadown in the form of the stephen root voiced JW Guidebook, a talking hallucination who gives huey his knowledge and edge back in the contest.. but it’s STILL not enough. And that’s when the other intresting bit comes into play: Huey.. has a moment of weakness. Despite the guidebook saying to always save your fellow woodchucks when violet gets stuck slipping in a tree.. he does nothing and leaves, despite JW  , whose now become his concious, begging him not to. It’s a sad, well done moment, and one that makes the story richer. Naturally violet escapes and when huey falls off the lava bridge to the finish line in a nother moment of desperation, and after a returning JW burns because apparently ducks and sabrewings are fireproof but imaginary manfestations of knowledge arne’t, she saves him... and is a good friend and woodchuck in NOT chastizing huey for his moment of weakness earlier, but comforting him, revealing she’s tried three times before and adding some more depth to her character: Despite her awkardness with people, she’s a kind, caring person, and gives Huey the lesson he needs: faliure, and the ocasional bout of moral weakness, is okay.. what matters is you learn from it, dust yourself off and keep going. Huey bows out due to this, as while violet is more than willing to let him pass with her, Huey knows he hasn’t earned it, yet, but he can keep trying and that this is her moment, not his. And in that, I feel learns that he dosen’t NEED recognition to be his best self.. he just needs to be a good person and a good woodchuk. I’ts a damn fine story and despite not being the intended premire, works as a great one.. mostly. And also yes I ship them.. as much as two ten-elven year olds can be, but they are adorable and geninley have a good repore.  And before I get to the dispaointing subplot, i’d be an idiot if I left out Violet’s family: We meet her dads, hilariously wearing shirts that say i’m with dad which is also really fucking adorable, and have our first onscreen conformation that Lena’s now her adopted sister, with Lena loudly screaming it in one of the best lines of the episode.. it’s clever to me: it over the top makes sure that we know yes, these men are gay and her parents.. but in a needed way given disney’s tendncy to dance around that or loudly proclaim a minor character no one cares about is gay in a way they can edit out. It’s a great step forward for the channel and the company and good on the crew for going ahead with it and good on disney for not beign dumb about it, nor, like again they have a bad habit of doing, loudly shouting about it to the media. Excellent work. 

Now i’m done rambling about Huey’s psyche and america’s new faviorite gay couple, I gotta get the suplot out of the way: while the whiporwill is freaking adorable as is dewey’s bond with it, otherwise this plot is.. really damn weak: it has some good jokes (Louie’s blunt no when Scrooge asks if hte family wants to fight a bear, Webby’s disapointment when she finds their not walking in the path of literal giants, Donald’s runner with the spy drone mosquito (and Della’s instiance to just let it suck his blood), and Della proving she has the family temper with her own donald brand angry dance) it’s just.. not enoguh. It feels like it’s an oblogiatory plto for the family and while it does set up the season’s overaching plot with a strong character, as it’s intresting learning that Scrooge had an idol at adventuring and thus is following a legacy himself, overall the subplot itself is just there and distracting from the much more intresting A-Story. That being said it was at least sorta worth it for the ending bit where huey and violet suprisingly find launchpad at the end of the trial in a cave.. as do the duckfamily, both groups crying out “Launchpad?!” with launchpad giving out a hilarious “that’s me, i’m launchpad” and while the setup for it was weak, the idea of the family going around the globe to find missing mysteries wile fighting fowl over them is a great concept. Overall a really damn strong start to the season with a weak b-plot and i’m gald even if this isn’t what htey planned to start with it’s what they went with.  Quack Pack: Quack Pack.. is one of disney’s secret shames.. I mean it’s not SO secret as it’s on D+ while this show’s predecessor wonder over yonder and superhero fantasy classic american dragon jake long are not for reasons I sitll don’t get, but that’s a rant for another day. It clashed badly with ducktlaes,was meiocre most of the time (It helps the two episodes I did watch were donald focused as he, a nicely redeisgned dasiy, and their co-worker kent were the highlights), with the boys somehow being more obnoxious than they were at their worst in the original ducktales.  Now that’s off my chest the episode itself.. is really damn good and a nice take on sitcom parody, with the family getting ready for a photo. Dewey’s “since the internet” line in paticular killed because, having watched boths ome of the best sitcoms (roseanne, designing women) and some of the absolute worst (My wife and kids, last man standing,home imporvment etc), most modern ones i’ve seen, even the good ones, have kids written this terrible way. Otherwise though it was highly enjoyable and having Jaleel “Urkel/Sonic the Hedgehog” white here to take the piss out of his former genre as Gene (and doing such a great job I really want to see Gene back next season), is the icing. That and Huey going half insane trying to figure out what’s going on, as well as the unsettling reveal of the studio audience.  Really the ep is a laugh fest, as well as the glorious arrival of goofy who to my relief, wasn’t a hallucination.. which itself is a great gag as is the offscreen internal thought of “okay so now htey ahve to take goofy with them on this deadly adventure all the way back to the states?”. The using of the adults old designs, as well as having dewey do the triplets dance and wear an outfit similar to theirs from “Mr Duck Steps Out” (Which I saw earlier this year and other than daisy’s horrifying early voice it wasn’t half bad). It’s just hard to go into and throughly enjoyable. But analysis right the real meat is in my boy donald: Going into the ep I genuinely expected Dewey to be the obvious source of the wish: while knowing gene was involved meant it was easy to see it was his fault HOW was a good question.. but having Donald do so and throughly enjoyable, and naturally gives us two great gags int he rwo: Donald’s VERY donald response “I wish for that 6 times a day! how wsas I supposed to know I was rubbing up against a magical lamp” and everyone spouting off their catcphrases, all either actual ones, basically something she does all the time turned into one (della) or poor beakly who gets “i’m not a spy” for some reason an dis cross about it. But the fact Donald not only figured it out quickly but wants to stay.. is perfectly in character. Donald in general, and especailly here, dosen’t WANT to be an adventuer anymore: he does it for his family, but he’d probably perfer the tgif lifestyle where problems are minor and solved with heartwarming lessons.. not full of lingering restiments, damage you caused, or loosing a decade of your sisters life and having to struggle to care for her kids. The rest of the familys looks when he gives his reasoning say it all: they really get why he wants this.. but Huey, who nicely got to be the one to break the sitcom news to them on top of everything else, makes an even better one: their lives are who they are.. this.. isn’t real. LIkea tgif sitcom it’s a plastic imitation of life that’s nothing like it: it’s comforting sure since hte real world is fucking complicated and miserable at times.. but hiding from it dosen’t fix things.  And while Donald, of course angrily denies this while his family ends upf ighting the studio audience, it’s Goofy, loveable guest star and everyone’s other faviorite dad, who gets his friend to see the truth: eveyr family has thieir own normal. He and max are  widower and his kid. Just a family of three (I”m counting PJ since , by his tene years at least, Peg is missing, though Iw ish she’d come back as her and goofy would be cute and she deserves better than Pete but whatever, and his dad is an emotionally abusive douchehead). But their happy, they make memories even if goofy like donald can’t walk five feet without the universe, and that’s what counts> it’s a touching sentiment and i’m happy Donald now has a friend whose also a parent and probably made similar sacrifices, and some Donald hasn’t had to just yet and probably won’t now dellas back, but made it through. So donald helps his family fight the  humanoids, take sa picture and it’s just a genuinely sweet ending... a great episode with a great concept that also opens the door for the return of the world’s other best dad more times. And again I want to see him smooch pete’s ex wife. This is the hill I will die on apaprently.. and with that I leave you. it was a good start a fun thing ot dive into and I hope for more.. oh and before I go, while i’m not a GIANT max and roxanne shipper, Idon’t dislike the ship I just don’t hav ea large attachment, it was absolutley WONDERFUL to see that they went to prom together. Okay i’m done, until next week, courage and stay safe. 

[runpogorun]

Here’s my gift to @wrtng-thngs-nd-stff for the Daredevil Exchange. It also fills the ‘Innocent until proven guilty’ square on my Daredevil Bingo card. Enjoy!

The prompt was: “Each night counts for something or else we’d all go mad,” by Charles Bukowski.

*****

Matt was sitting on the edge of his bed, pulling on his socks and his tie when his phone beeped with a text message from Foggy:

Each night counts for something or else we’d all go mad.

Matt frowned, and held up his phone to dictate a response. “Fog. It’s too early to be that cryptic.” He placed the phone beside him and reached down to pick up a shoe, groaning quietly.

Foggy’s reply was swift: 

It’s not early, you’re just late. I’ve been watching the video of DD from last night. Are you okay?

Matt finished tying his shoes, and shrugged on his suit jacket before dictating his next text. “Yes, mom. I’ll see you soon.” He checked the time. He was only a little late, and last night’s video can’t have been that dramatic.

That’s unlikely, my dude. And did you forget Bukowski?

Matt had. He paused to do a quick internet search, and opened a new note in his phone. Then he straightened his tie and went to face the day.

_____

The next week, when Matt was once again late, it was this:

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.

Are you going to make it? 

I need you today.

Matt was in a coffee shop, waiting for the triple order they would all need to get them started on the last day of pre-trial preparation. He didn’t bother replying, just sighed and collected his order then walked the short distance to the office. It had been a not-insignificant period of time since his last serious injury. He was keeping it together.

Matt wove between the towers of boxes, placing Karen’s coffee in the middle of her desk, then knocked on Foggy’s office door. Foggy’s head lifted, and he sprang out of his chair with a cry of, “Coffee!”

Matt leaned against the doorframe and nursed his own cup. “Where’s Karen?” 

“Picking up those photos.”

Matt hummed in response, taking a sip of coffee. Foggy wandered back to his desk and plopped down in his seat, running a hand through his hair. “Do you think Ms Zhang feels okay about tomorrow?” Foggy asked. 

Matt nodded. “I offered to pick her up, walk with her to the courthouse.”

“She lives literally nowhere near you.”

“Ah,” Matt said, “But she doesn’t know that.”

“You do you, buddy. Just get her there on time.” Foggy’s head bent to the desk in front of him, his hands shuffling papers. He sighed again. Behind Matt, the door swung open and Karen stalked in. She must have spied the coffee immediately, because she headed straight for her desk, dropping a thick envelope and scooping up her coffee cup with a sigh of happiness. She came over to join Matt, touching him on the arm in greeting as he smiled at her.

“Come on, Fog. We’re going to kill it tomorrow. We’re prepared. You can be happy.”

Foggy slowly raised a hand, pointing his pen at Matt and in a deep voice intoned, “We don’t even ask happiness, just a little less pain.”

“What?” asked Karen.

Matt shook his head. “He’s on a Charles Bukowski kick,” he said.

Karen made a noise of comprehension, turning her head between Matt and Foggy. “Ohhhh,” she said. “Oh yeah, he’s perfect.”

“I know, right?” Foggy cried, gesticulating wildly. 

“What?” Matt asked.

“He’s like your… depressed Fairy Godmother.”

Matt downed the last of his coffee. “I’ve got work to do.” He walked to his office and firmly shut the door on the sounds of laughter.

_____

Maggie really did make neat stitches, her fingers moving nimbly. Matt wondered if she’d learned before Jack. Maybe it was just the kids. She’d once stitched him up, when he was thirteen years old and a car had backfired, sending a sonic wave which confused him enough that he’d missed the curb and tripped. He’d angrily brushed off the concerned stranger who tried to help him, and limped home, blood dripping down his leg and pooling in his sock. Maggie hadn’t had a lot to say then, sighing and pushing him into a seat with firm hands. 

“Penny for your thoughts,” she said, punctuating it with a sharp snip.

Matt snorted. “That would be a waste.”

“A waste would be this wound being a bit deeper, and you bleeding to death in an alley.” She turned and started tidying away her supplies, carrying them to the sink. 

Matt stood and reached for his shirt, turning it right side out and running his fingers over it. The blood around the ragged tear was dry and crackly. He poked two fingers through the hole and wiggled them. Someone shrieked three blocks over, and Matt turned his head sharply to the side, listening hard. The sound dissolved into giggles - a group of friends having fun. He relaxed again, smoothing away a few flakes of blood.

“Matthew.” Maggie was standing close in front of him. He hadn’t noticed her moving closer.

“Hm?”

She walked towards him and reached out, smoothing his hair back from his brow. “You look tired. I said I was here to listen.” Slowly, she pried the shirt from his hands, taking it from him. 

“It’s nothing,” Matt said, sitting down again.

“Sure.”

Matt scrubbed a hand through his hair, pulled his mask from his pocket and smoothed it out on his knee. 

“You still worrying about whether you’re making a difference?” Maggie asked.

“No. I know I am,” Matt said, shaking his head. “It’s more… keeping my head in the game. You know. Not... letting my friends down. Again.”

“This one’s clean,” Maggie said, throwing a bundle of fabric at him.

“Black, I hope,” Matt said, shaking the shirt out pulling it on over his head.

“You know, kiddo, what matters most is how well you walk through the fire.”

Matt froze. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ll wash this and sew it up for you. Why don’t you visit me at a reasonable hour, next time? Take me out for afternoon tea.”

_____

“You told my mother about Bukowski?” Matt’s glasses were in his pocket, and he narrowed his eyes in an approximation of a hard stare.

“To be fair, I think she’d already heard of him,” Foggy said, shrugging in an overexaggerated way.

“You still haven’t told me why. Why, all of a sudden, you’re all trying to make me feel guilty by throwing some old sexist alcoholic’s rantings at me.”

“I don’t need to do anything at all to make you feel guilty. You do that all by yourself. And Theo got rid of his old bed so he didn’t need my copy of Post Office to keep the legs level, so he gave it back to me.”

“Please tell me you didn’t start a file of quotes you thought applied to me,” Matt said, giving the stare another go.

“Innocent until proven guilty. Stop trying to hypnotise my dinosaur.”

Matt sighed. “Karen’s coming. Let’s pretend to be busy.”

_____

Matt truly did regret this type of injury. It was embarrassing, being so limited by pain that he struggled to do even the basics. He heard Karen’s footfall on the stairs and carefully, so carefully, climbed out of bed, making it to the couch just before she said, “I’m coming in, Matt,” and slid her key into the lock. Matt bit back a groan of pain, and pasted a smile onto his face.

She walked straight to the kitchen, all rustling shopping bags and high heels. “Hey, Karen,” he offered. 

“I didn’t expect to see you out of bed.” Karen put a couple of things in Matt’s near-empty fridge. “Beer?”

“Please.”

She came over, putting the beer on the coffee table passing him his carton and fork, and slipping off her shoes to tuck her feet underneath herself. “Don’t try that face. It makes you look worse, which I didn’t think was possible.” He didn’t think he could reach his beer without her seeing how sore he truly was.

Instead, Matt prodded at his takeout. He was ravenous and it smelled good.

“Foggy’s on a date, so you’ve only got me tonight. Want to watch a movie?”

Matt smiled. “Sounds good.”

“Great. Eat up, then, because you need to be in bed and food doesn’t belong in the bedroom.”

“I’m good here.”

Karen shook her head. “Your couch is not as comfortable as that big, soft bed.”

Matt just rolled his eyes. Karen reached out and patted his knee, and said, “If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”

Matt stabbed his fork into his take out, and threw up his hand. “Okay, okay, I admit defeat. We can watch in my bed, as long as you don’t quote him any more.”

“It’s a deal,” Karen said, smugly.

_____

Matt woke, in searing pain, but it wasn’t going to kill him. He had wondered, the previous night. He certainly wasn’t going to make it to the office today, or maybe tomorrow either.

He picked up his phone to check the time. Late enough that Foggy would be concerned, so he dictated a text: “In the morning it was morning, and I was still alive.” 

Foggy phoned back thirty seconds later. “Buddy, do I need to call an ambulance?” He sounded short of breath.

“I don’t know. Does your chest hurt?”

“An ambulance for you, asshole. How bad is it?”

“Like I said, I’m still alive. But I won’t be in today. I’m sorry, Fog.” Matt pulled the comforter higher, tucking it around his neck.

“Do I need to call Maggie?”

“No.”

“Matty-”

“I said no, Foggy.”

“Fine. But I’m bringing you lunch. And you’d better still be alive.”

“Foggy.”

“Hey, you know, today might be the time to use that Bukowski quote I’ve been saving up.”

“Jesus, Fog, haven’t you used them all up?”

“Oh no, he was a very prolific man. But this one is the best. Are you listening, Matty?”

Matt  pressed his face against the pillow and made a vague noise.

“Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.”

[another-sonic-blog]

Mistake

ShadAmy

Au

Space colony ark, a bit more than 50 years before our present time and before the tragedy occurred. A lively place full of prosperity.

One girl named Maria excitedly walked through the corridors hoping to find her friend wishing to be victorious in her own game.  She tried to be as quiet as possible but her small little blue shoes made a ‘click-clack’ every time it touched the floor. She knew for sure that he must be here. Somewhere hidden in the dark where his fur matched within it.

‘Boo!’

“AHHH!”, Maria flinched a bit and turned around to find her favorite black and red hedgehog in front of her. She wished she could stay mad at him for at least five seconds. However, all range went away the second she saw his big red eyes.

“Shadow, don’t scare me like that!”, Maria pretends to be hurt, just so Shadow could apologize.

“Maria! Are you ok?!”

 A small pink hedgehog entered the room running, looking at the blonde from her feet to her head.

“I am ok Amy, not need to look after me all day”, Maria said smiling as she looked to the pink hedgehog.

“It’s my duty! I was brought here for the sole purpose to protect you”

“Oh, Amy but-“

“Yes, go away you pink rant! We don’t need you here now!”

“Shadow!”

        Maria noticed Amy running away from the room now. Although she couldn’t be mad at Shadow for long, she knew that a proper talk was necessary. He was ignorant since the only teachings he had was from scientists who looked at life differently.

“Shadow... don’t ever talk to Amy like that ever again”, Amy bent down in one knee and looked at Shadow directly in the eyes.

“But why? People say she was a mistake! She wasn’t supposed to even be born...her pink fur is even disgusting”, Shadow made a childish face. In which Maria sighed in a bit of disappointment, not at Shadow but at the persons around him.

“No one is a mistake. Her mom died giving birth but that’s doesn’t mean she’s bad. She is kinda like you, you know”.

“Kinda like me?”, Shadow asked intrigued.

“Yes, she’s a hedgehog-like you! One of your own and that means that you gotta protect her no matter what!”, Maria looked to the large mirror in front of her, showcasing the beautiful Earth. “She doesn’t have a family... so I want to be kinda like a mother to her... for both of you”

“And one day we will live together as a family on earth”

.

.

. After Amy made sure that Maria was asleep, she decided to go back to her room. She tried to make as little as sound possible and without noticing she had passed through Shadow.  She noticed that he was at Maria's favorite spot in the entire spaceship.  He was looking right through the Earth, observing but most of all thinking. Amy had to admit that deep down she admired Shadow, he was so strong, perfect and he will indeed be the one to save Maria's life.

"Just come in, I know you are there", Shadow said, no taking his eyes away from the view in front of him.

Amy thought that Shadow would scold her or something. She lowered her head down and she got near him and was ready to apologize. "I am sorry-"

“From now on... I’ll protect you”

Amy was baffled. She wasn't expecting that. She tilted her head to the side wondering if Shadow had gotten a fever of some sort.  Remembering now, that wasn't possible. He was the ultimate life form after all. Looking at Amy's confused face, Shadow proceed to take a deep sigh and explain.

"Maria said that I should protect you. We both are alike after all"

"Alike?", Amy raised her voice a little in excitement. Having something in common with the ultimate life form made her happy enough.

"Yes", Shadow added.

"How"

"Umm...we are both...um", Shadow gave it a small thought. "We are both small"

"THAT'S TRUE!", Amy had stars for eyes now and Shadow funding amusing her excitement gave her a small grin.

"I know what else we have in common!", Amy said smiling. At this Shadow's heart began to warm up. She really was something else, he found really incredible how easy it was for him to bond with her.

"We both will protect Maria!"

"Yes...we will"

.

.

.

“Shadow! Where’s Maria?!”, an older Amy yelled at Shadow from the corridor. He turned around to see her anxious face.

“I thought she was with you”, Shadow tried to keep his cool. This was usual with Maria. Recently, since she is gotten more sick; Shadow or Amy’s would always be at her side all day and night. However, she sometimes needed alone time for herself to think. She then would escape from them and hide somewhere just to be found later.

“Shadow you need to find her and leave”

“What?”

“Soldiers have infiltrated the ARK, you have to find Maria, take one of the shuttles to Earth and-“

   Fire shots were heard. Amy and Shadow took a moment to look at each other. There was no time to lose but Shadow didn’t want to leave Amy behind. She might be a strong fighter but she was slow.

“GO!”

   Shadow began to take a few steps backward. “I’ll come back once I secure Maria”, and he took off.

   He looked everywhere, but with no results.  Shadow tried to keep calm, but he was slowly losing it when he kept hearing shots where he left Amy behind.  He searched every lab, every dormitory, every research field but he found nothing.  He took a moment to reflect on his stance, he would normally be able to smell her scent from afar but his respiration rate had been exalted and he couldn't think clearly.   He closed his eyes and was finally able to breathe her now weak scent, he runs towards their place. Or what used to be their place. Amy, Maria and he would stay all day there thinking about their future lives once Maria gets cured. However, when Maria's condition deteriorated, the room was permanently closed. According to Doctor Gerald, the air's room contained a specific chemical that harmed Maria's health.  They never went back there.

Shadow kicked open the door and there he saw her, on the floor, taking her last breaths.  He rushed towards her delicately holding her head, making her breath easier.

"Shadow...", Maria  whispered, "You have to save yourself...and Amy"

"Shh...you are going to be alright. We both three will go to Earth today!", Shadow wanted to be strong, but he felt the tears accumulating in his eyes.

"Even if I make it to earth...I won't be able to live...Earth's contaminated air will for sure kill me..."

Shadow was aware of that. Maria's lungs were weak, the reason why she had to stay in the ARK all this time was that her lungs weren't capable of processing un-purified air, making living on Earth impossible.

"I am sorry, this is all my fault. If they came because of me, didn't they? Because...because I am a mistake", Shadow let a teardrop. If G.U.N hadn't shown up, Maria's health wouldn't be prejudice.

"No one is a mistake. Shadow...I told that you a long time ago"

"Shadow!"

Amy showed up in the room and as soon as she noticed Maria on the floor, she turned around to close the door. She knew that it was inevitable, any minute now the G.U.N agents will open that door.  She bent down towards Maria who even had blood running from her mouth, clearly from coughing up too hard.

"Shadow we need to put Maria in the space capsule there's no-" Shadow proceed to pick up Amy at a super speed not even letting Amy think for a second. When he finally realized what Shadow was doing, she began to kick, punch and move aggressively trying to break free. "Shadow, don't you dare! We need to save her!", Amy scream but no response from Shadow was heard.

Shadow threw Amy into the space capsule trying not to harm her. He closed it up and Shadow saw Amy's green eyes look at him in pure sadness, in disappointment, and in grief.

"Live...and please remember us"

. . .

"Who would have thought that the Great Shadow the Hedgehog, G.U.N's top agent, and ultimate life form would be here, seeking for my help?", Amy was reading peacefully in the forest when Shadow approached her with a request.

"It's not like I want to be with you either but I do need that hammer of yours and since you are the only one who can wield it, I need you", Shadow said in his monotone voice. He really didn't want to be close to the pink hedgehog but if he wanted to solve his mission, then it was necessary for her to come with him.

"In all honesty, I don't even know much about my hammer and who or what gave it to me...I don't know much about my past either. My Sonic found me time frozen in a capsule a few days later after your first appearance", Amy said as she pulled out her hammer out of thin air.

"You never looked for answers?", Shadow inquired her.

"My past doesn't define me", Amy made her hammer disappear and looked at Shadow. "Besides...what if my past is not something to be proud of?...what if I made a mistake? What if I am a mistake?"

"No one is a mistake."Shadow took a seat next to Amy, looking at the vast forest in front of him. Taking in the beauty of it all. "You and I are kinda alike don't you think?"

"You think? How so?"

"We both don't remember much from our past...The only person I actually remember was Maria..."

"She was kinda like a big sister to you right?", Amy asked him and Shadow wanted to nod at her question but he thought about it for a second. Maria was more than a sister to him. She taught him what it was wrong or what was right. She scolded him when he needed scolding but she also spoiled him. She gave her life so he could live his.

"Actually...I think she was more of a mother to me", Shadow said and he turned around to face Amy in which she responded his action by giving him a warm smile.

"Meeting a parent figure of yours...I would have loved to meet her"

Shadow watched as the wind blew Amy's hair.  Her delicate face a bit pink from the cold wind that was in coming.  Her smell very familiar or so  Shadow thought.  It was as if he had been like her like this before. Sort of a deja vu, one that warmed his heart and made him remember of a kind past.

"I don't know why...but I have the feeling that you already have"

. . .

A/N: So @Spikeeeee gave me the idea of a small story where Shadow meets Amy's parents or vice versa. However, I couldn't bring myself to write one. I had writer's block for the longest time and this is the best I could think of.  Since Shadow didn't have any parents, I like to think that Maria was that of a mother to him. We don't know much about Amy's parents so that's why I wrote this small AU in which both Amy and Shadow were raised by Maria and in the ARK. However, they both don't remember their past together for some strange reason.

I apologize for this short story and for my incapability to write a good prompt based on the idea already give. I will try my best to improve. Once again, thank you for reading and for your love and support.

[wr8tur]

SUPERGIRL RANT 13

I know I said I wouldn’t be making SG rants anymore… Maybe I shouldn’t even comment since I haven’t been watching SG. But I’ve been seeing story progression because I keep looking for Katie McGrath’s awesomeness on social media….

Correct me if I’m wrong but Lena basically hides Sam/Reign away in order to figure out how to cure her and then Kara finds out that she has Kryptonite and basically freaks the fuck out. I maybe missing some details…. Feel free to add/correct/change my way of thinking but I don’t blame Lena for not telling SG that she had Kryptonite.

People are saying that she should have told SG that she had kryptonite but then why should she? If it’s because she’s been saved by SG, then I’d have to argue that she’s saved SG/the world too.

Lena saved everyone from the Medusa virus, helped them make the lead bomb against the Daxamites, agreed to marry Mon to save the Children’s hospital,  she even tried to save SG when her mom threw that sonic box thing on her, hell killed her boyfriend to save SG… point is, Lena has done a lot of good. Yet SG still doubts her just because she didn’t tell her about the Kryptonite?

Lena’s right about the God complex.

Unless season 1 is no longer canon, did SG forget what red Kryptonite did to her? If the argument is that she was afraid that Lena might accidentally have created unstable/red kryptonite, then yes I understand her anger but I think SG was just pissed that Lena has Kryptonite.

I mean SG didn’t exactly go around dispelling lead from the Earth when she found out that Mon El was allergic so the issue I feel like has to do with her mortality and a little bit of trust but I can’t really blame Lena for trying to make more Kryptonite after she saw how unstoppable Reign is and how powerless the DEO and SG have been against Reign.

I feel like Lena probably would have no problem telling Kara about the Kryptonite. Maybe if it weren’t for the Sam/Reign thing she would have said something to Kara about her breakthrough. She already knows she can trust Kara but SG is different.

Yes, SG saved her life. But SG tries to save everyone. The Supers after all, are against killing. So to Lena, SG saving everyone is just something she does.

Lena doesn’t have that same special connection to SG as she does with Kara so the trust isn’t as strong. I mean, it clearly isn’t since SG basically hinted to Lena that the only reason she’s even put in extra effort with her is because of Kara. The words “Kara Danvers believes in you” kind of implies that SG is just looking out for Lena because she trusts Kara and that doesn’t necessarily mean that she trusts Lena.

Besides, SG never told her that she’s working with the DEO (even after Lena killed Jack) or that the DEO even existed so I don’t see why Lena, who was arrested by the police for circumstantial evidence, would tell a secret faction of the Government that A) she knows they exist and B) that she has the ability to create Kryptonite.

Like I said before, I don’t believe Kyrptonite is an illegal substance to have so legally, Lena has no obligation to tell the DEO she knows how to make it.

Harboring a fugitive is illegal, but it’s not like she was helping her destroy the world. She locked Reign up, which is what the DEO would have done in the first place, but Sam is innocent in all this and Sam gave Lena permission to fix her.

Maybe Lena was worried about SG’s God complex, worried that SG wouldn’t listen about splitting Sam and Reign up because SG would take it personally since Reign can kick her ass.

Maybe Lena was just genuinely concerned that the Government would just try to kill or imprison Reign and not waste their efforts because to Lena’s knowledge (due to Kara not telling Lena about her being SG), Agents of DEO and SG don’t have a personal connection to Sam so they wouldn’t even try to save her friend.

Anyway, if SG trusted Lena then she should have just talked to her about it instead of basically blowing up at her, making her feel likes she’s just as bad as the other Luthors, and asking Guardian, who SG knows is her boyfriend, to go and spy on her.

It feels like she was just being petty. I mean, she could have asked J’onn or Alex to go instead or even herself. But no, it seems like she wanted to really hurt Lena.

I always said that the writers can’t separate SG from Kara and apparently I’m right.

It’s not fair for SG to expect that Lena would trust her so much when she hasn’t even bestowed that courtesy toward Lena, especially as Kara. She’s let her into her circle yet Lena had been the only one who didn’t know she’s SG. And yes, Sam doesn’t know either but Sam doesn’t really count because she just met her and was just shoehorned in the group this season in order to create this drama that doesn’t even really fit in with S2 characterization of Kara, who even after seeing the video of Lena having Kryptonite still believed her friend was innocent.

And damn Kara, Lena saved Alex’s life. If that isn’t enough to earn your trust for you to tell her you’re SG, then you should have never tried to be her friend. She shared some personal stuff with you and you know the girl has a hard time trusting people because everyone hates her for something her family did.

Kara’s just lucky no one found out that her parents created Medusa. I’m pretty sure aliens that have family who died from that virus would be hating on her too. I’m also sure that humans wouldn’t be too keen on calling SG their hero if they knew the Daxamites attacked because she wouldn’t give up her boyfriend the Daxamite Prince of three months!

Even after freaking Lena killed the so called love of her life for you Kara, you couldn’t make the same sacrifice?

Does Lena know all these secrets SG/Kara? I think not…

I think Lena only knows that Kara is Mon El’s boyfriend but I don’t remember Rhea telling her that this could have all been avoided if Supergirl just let her take her son home... I could be wrong so someone refresh my memory.

So I don’t think Kara or Supergirl has the right to be so harsh with Lena because she herself, both as SG and Kara has secrets she isn’t comfortable sharing. Unless Lena knows that Kara is SG then she wouldn’t know all the shitnannigans happened because of Kara… But as far as we know, Lena does not know.

As far as we know, Lena is a person who has done a lot of good. The way they’ve set up her character is that she’s a bleeding heart who tries so hard to undo the damage her family has done. The only difference between her and SG is that she relies on her smarts to get things done while SG relies on her Kryptonian genes.

This version of Kara is a hypocrite. She’s selfish and rash but the thing is, she’s weak and cannot back up her actions. She always has to ask for help and another thing I hate about these versions of the Supers is that they’re basically asking for blind trust. And that may have worked before, but now things like Red K can be made so I think it’s safe to say that Kryptonite should be a substance that’s accessible just in case the Supers go on a rampage.

Correct me if I’m wrong but doesn’t Superman know that Batman has access to Kryptonite yet still works with him?

Even if S1 is no longer canon and Red K is no longer a thing, then what if more Kryptonians come to Earth? Because first of all, unlike other versions of Kryptonians, the Arrowverse Kryptonians aren’t reclusive.

According to Kara, she’s been on like twelve planets or something. You can’t tell me that when Krypton blew up, there weren’t scouts/scientists/military personnel or something that were not in their homeworld... I mean, we know there isn’t until the writers bring them over but for Kara/Clark, they should be prepared for moments like these. It already happened once so it could happen again.

What if there’s not enough Kryptonite? Are people just supposed to depend on the government to save them? National City is in America so the people, even people like Lena, have the right to arm themselves…. and there is a thing called Checks and Balances here in the country SG is seeking refuge in.

It’s honestly unfair for the Supers to expect that the world should just trust that they’ll check and balance themselves.

People don’t know them personally after all...

Point is, the writers clearly haven’t evolved. They’re still tearing down one relationship to build another. They’re hitting as many birds as they can with one stone.

They want SuperCorp shippers to stop, they want to legitimize Lames, but most importantly they want Karamel to re-establish their bond…. So they’re throwing the rock to break the Lena/Kara friendship.

Anyway, with the way this is going I feel like Lena’s completely going to turn dark. Since Supergirl has been given the Sunday slot the show might suffer from some budget cuts and want to up the ante next season so they can ensure a S5 so maybe James will die, leaving Lena brokenhearted and she’ll blame SG then she’ll find out Kara and SG are the same and that’ll completely drive her over to the dark side.

Or, she’ll find out that Kara and SG are the same and then she’ll get mad at James and all of them.

Or, more likely, that Sam is going to sacrifice herself to end Reign (So that Alex can adopt Ruby because apparently, her biological clock just went boom in S3) and Lena’s going to get mad, blame SG, find out that Kara is SG, and then get mad at James for helping SG or something like that…

To sum it up, Lena will be all alone again and she’ll blame SG and that’s why she’ll turn dark.

Of course, all my points will probably rendered irrelevant because in the end, Lena will probably be evil from the get go and the writers will make it seem like Lena's a mastermind and she's been playing Kara from the beginning so that the audience can't get mad at Kara for treating her 'friend' like crap because she was right and Lena is a villain like all the Luthors.

[cgmayra]

Sonamy boom how sonic found out that he liked amy or vice versa

(x) Preview image made by Fennec! Please support her! (I love how self-aware Sonic is in this comic where he looks at his heart he just made and is like ‘crap’ lol XD)

Prompt:

“Sonic! A word with the bird?” Soar quickly had charmed his way into stopping Sonic’s morning run, who rolled his eyes and folded his arms; groaning.

“Mr. Hedgehog, rumors have flown up to my part of the sky and stated that you’ve been running since before the dawn of time! What do you have to say?” He almost jabbed Sonic with the mic, and he had to lunge down to dodge it.

“Hey!” He glared.

“Well said.” Soar pulled the mic back, and then turned to the camera, “Now, for the juicy gossip.” he bounced his eyebrows, as Sonic looked confused.

“W-wait a minute, I thought you just talked about rumors? Why are we going into-OFFPH!”

“Zip it, I haven’t questioned you with intimidating camera lights yet.” Soar shoved his mouth shut before then putting an arm around him and in a flashy manner, raising his head up.

“Ladies and Gentlefolks watching, it’s time for Dropping an Ease!”

Suddenly, Sonic was whisked into a chair, “Hey!” and immediately strapped down from his arms, legs, and braced to the chair.

The chair then squeakily was adjusted to move up with some pump-mechanics and a strobe light flared down on him.

“Wrong light!” someone called, and the light that was blinding Sonic suddenly changed to an interrogation light.

“Better! Roll with it!” the same voice cued and then a hand whipped to a point for Soar to come back on.

He swerved in, happy as ever, before starting up his question again, pulling out a card. “Oh, there’s the lights! Haha! Now then, Sonic…”

“I-I-I don’t think I signed up for this.” Sonic fidgetted.

“Who is…” the man narrowed his eyes, leaning closer to the chair.

“No…no… no!” Sonic kept swishing his head around, before Soar slammed a hand down on its side, stopping Sonic from struggling.

“You’re… Crush!”

“I don’t have one!” Sonic shouted out.

“Don’t lie to me! Lie to them!” Soar then pulled him out of the chair when the locks came automatically off and pulled him up to the camera.

“Honestly! I’m way too cool to have a crush!” Sonic’s face was partly smashed into the camera, as Soar pulled him away, giving him a funny look.

“Really? That’s so… Boring.” he flung Sonic over his shoulder, a humorously blank expression on his face, and Soar looking disappointed.

“Well, that was lame. Sorry, folks! But I guess that means his heart is still up for grabs! Any takers?”

The twins at home squee’d and tapped their feet on the ground.

Dave rolled his eyes, apparently having peeked into his mom’s room to see what she was watching.

Amy.. held her blanket closer to her side, and looked down.

The next day, Sonic was recounting the odd experience, but Amy seemed a bit bitter and was countering everything with sarcasm and ridicule.

“Woah! I’m sorry, but… when did this turn into pick-on-Sonic day!?”

“Last Thursday, but I forgot.” Amy glared back.

“Woah, you two need to chill out.” Tails put up his hands and stepped in-between their odd bickering, before then looking to Sonic with an arrogant glee in his eyes, “I mean. Pfft. We can’t all have love interests.” he gloated, clearly having a crush already.

Sonic groaned again and stomped off.

Once he was gone, shaking his head and growling in anger, she softened up and gripped her heart.

“How can someone NOT have a love interest?!” Amy complained at her group meeting, as the other members looked to each other, and awkwardly back at her. “I mean.. when you spend enough time with a totally cute girl you tend to fall for her, right!? Am I missing something? Could it be her hair? Her cooking? When you literally go out and see a guy-flick WHILE complimenting his manly musk- how can you not get brownie points for that? HOW CAN HE NOT HAVE A CRUSH!?!?”

The rest of the members saw her outburst, and out of fear, nodded and scooted back, all trying to reassure her standpoint or agree in some way to her while they muttered in fright.

Walking home, Sonic dashed right by her, and she mumbled something under her breath about him being a ‘fly-by’ kinda guy, before he came back, seeing her with a smile.

“Oh, hey, Amy, how are ya? Alone? Tonight? Dark night? So am I! haha..?” He suddenly chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah. Real chilly.” she hunched forward, sighing. “Sonic… can I ask you something.. personal?”

“Personal? Why Personal? Why do we need to be personal?” he fidgetted, rubbing his arm and looking away, trying to keep up his smile. “Ehem, but on the off chance it’s something cool, what did you have in mind?”

She sighed again, “What.. do we have in common?”

That stopped him real quick, as he looked up to the stars. “W-well..”

“I mean, we both love fighting robots… I guess.” she tilted her head, “And you like to eat and I like making things to eat, so we get along there too..” she gestured a hand out. “I just can’t seem to remember anymore…” she lightly scuffed her hand against a piece of wild wheat, letting the little particles fall where they may as she then dusted her hand off.

Sonic began to reminisce, it was a night like this one too… when he found out…

Amy acting silly and over-the-top, ranting on about the movie they just saw.

“I can’t wait to someday take down a whole evil army!”

“Yeah!” Sonic jumped up, “And I can save a princess!”

“Pfft, please.” she flapped her hand out, “I’m the one saving lazy princesses! You and go and uh… slay a dragon or… something.” she happily balanced on a pole before Sonic spoke up again.

“Hey,… I could save anyone I wanted too! That’s it! A dragon princess!”

“Lame.” Amy did a unique flip, which caught Sonic’s attention. “Woah…” he stared, “Hey, that’s actually kinda cool. And I should know, I’m the epitome of cool~” he flashed his best ‘cool-guy’ finger guns and smile.

She stared a moment before her red cheeks turned away and giggled, sitting down on the horizontal pole. “I guess I just like to be athletic.”

“And that’s totally cool!” Sonic jumped and grabbed the pole, lifting himself up by his arms, showing off. “Hey, Amy. Me and Tails were thinking… you.. you could be pretty cool if you were a hero, ya know.”

She gave him an odd look, “What do you mean? Could?” she teased, lifting her head before ducking it and seeming to blush again, but he didn’t notice, looking up at the night sky.

“I mean.. the first time I met you, you stormed through our door and demanded to be apart of our gang, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, you made it! You took down Eggman’s robots and even out swung Knuckles! It could be fun, you know? Even if you are a girl…” he looked away, growing strangely shy.

He didn’t seem to mean coming off any particular way, but Amy puffed up her childish cheeks and went to get him.

“And what is that suppose to- ah..aHHH!!!” she lost her balance! Falling fast before Sonic impulsively moved and grabbed her hand.

“Hang on!”

He tried to pull her up, as she watched with amazed eyes before their fingers slipped.

“Amy!”

“Sooooniicc!”

He dashed down in a quick spin-ball like way, ratcheting off of trees and a building nearby to then grab her in his arms.

“Got’cha!”

The two stared in wide-eyed enchantment at one another…

Sonic’s heart was racing, but he figured it was from all the excitement of the daring rescue.

He had never been this close to a girl before…

Amy stumbled out of his arms, growing increasingly more embarrassed. “T-there! You saved a girl! Way to go!” she seemed to aggressively speak the words out, but Sonic took it literally.

As she adjusted her dress and patted her flaming cheeks, he looked at his hands, and then smiled gleefully up at her.

“I did!”

She turned around.

“I totally just saved your life! Ha! You must think I’m the coolest dude around now!”

She couldn’t help it. She turned with a gentle smile, “You were cool without the heroics… Sonic.”

He paused a moment, watching her expression and feeling something stir once again to be closer to her again.

She batted her eyes away, a cute touch, before closing her eyes and tilting her head in a way that made her hair sway with the gesture.

“I always thought of you as my hero.”

Then, something odd and strange happened to him.

He pouted, feeling embarrassed as his face brightened and he angrily wagged his arms about.

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he hollered, “I’m supposed to be cooler than that!”

What he never admitted, was that the heat that seemed to come from anger… was from being so touched by such a strong, graceful girl considering him her hero before he officially saved her.

Sonic shook his head from this thoughts, “I always thought we had saving people in common.” he smiled gently, not expecting her to catch on to his inside-reference.

“Hehe, yeah… We’ve always loved saving the world.” She smiled then, turning back to him.

She put her hands behind her back, “You know, we’ve saved it so many times!”

“It’s been fun.” his voice lowered, his eyes lingering on her younger self, the image in his mind.. the feeling of holding her again..

“Yeah, well… I guess it never gets old, huh?” she turned to look back at the stars, not even noticing him staring sweetly to her.

He tilted his head, “No.” he tenderly closed his eyes and looked down. “I guess not.”

He forgot the world for a second…

He’d rather save her again…

If ever she got into trouble again, she was too careful these days…

Too good at saving others and herself.

She suddenly saw something and went over to get it, before tripping and Sonic opening his eyes, almost too late to notice.

Could it be..?

His heart raced, he wondered if fate had heard him before Amy caught herself and balanced her landing with a beautiful roll and poise.

“Ta-dah! haha! No girls’ complete unless she can catch herself, huh Sonic?” she cheekily smiled behind to him, grinning wildly and hoping to make him feel impressed.

However… from his point-of-view… it was cruel. Oh so mockingly cutely..

His hand was still inches from reaching out for her…

He withdrew it back and folded his arms, turning grumpy.

“Yeah,.. swell.” he pouted. “Call me old fashion… but I liked it when heroes saved princesses…” he muttered out.

Amy blushed and looked away. “Y-yeah… I guess that’s just you.”

He frowned harder.

“But…” she giggled and kicked the ground, “Nowadays… girls need a new kind of hero..” she skipped on, and in curiosity, Sonic followed after her.

“Like what?” Sonic stated, rounding to her side. “What kind of hero do girls want?”

“Not want.” Amy stated, winking at him and turning, “Need.”

He pursued, “Y-yeah, but you didn’t answer me!”

“So persistent~ Why are you trying to find out what girls need in a man, Sonic?”

“You said hero.”

“Fine. I’ll tell you.” she put her hands on her hips and spun around. “Girls need a hero who saves them from the things that aren’t attacking them on the outside.”

He paused, not understanding.

“…A princess…” she touched her heart, looking suddenly sorrowful as she peered down at it. “Needs someone who will save her tears…”

She walked on, and Sonic found himself falling in love all over again… 

Sonic then deeply believed that it was an inexcusable sin to make girls cry.

“Oh no...” he shuttered. “I think I did lie.. But not to them.” she was already out of earshot.

“...But to her.”

He didn’t want to save princesses.

He wanted to save the one girl that saw him as a hero... before he ever was one.

[queennicoleinboots]

Joebear Laughs While Peter Beats The Shit Out of His Computer

A/N: Jokes against gay people, a lot of rage, computer destruction, lots of swearing, also written February 26, 2019 (going back in time and describing why Peter has bad luck with anything technological)

TL;DR: Joebear and I Laugh Hysterically while Peter literally beats the shit out of his computer in the front yard.

As I was cleaning Peter's house as usual, I heard him swearing at his computer as he has been for the past month now. I was on the phone with my husband, Joebear, and we were laughing our asses off. Joebear could barely breathe. He was using his high-pitched quick laugh as he was crying. I had the phone on speaker while we listened to Peter swear at his computer.

"Goddammit. Why the fuck won't this damn attachment send over? The fuck is wrong with this E-mail?!" Peter would yell.

Joebear and I couldn't help but crack up at him. My lungs were worn out from all the laughing at him I have done for the past two years.

Joebear commented with a laugh, "He sounds like he has a mentally-challenged computer and needs help with his brain."

Peter yelled to Joebear. "All true! This is bullshit!"

We cracked up and then continued on with our day. Joebear was playing "Hobos and Dawgs" by our favorite nerd rap artist, DarthSydePhineas.

"Damn! Damn! DamnDamnDamn! Hobos and Dawgs! Damn! Damn! DamnDamnDamn! Hobos and Dawgs! I need a hobo or a dawg, not you. Then I can go back to class! I need pictures! Where the fuck are they? I need to find a hobo or a dog. I need to find a hobo or a dog. This is bullshit! This is bullshit!" I rapped along.

"Fucking hell. If you are going to make technology, at least make it work correctly. What the fuck is the point?" Peter would continually rant at least 15 times a day. I laughed every time without fail. Godiva would just roll her eyes and ignore the bullshit in her son's office. Jamie would interrupt him from his swearing to do more random chores. Interruptions did not help Peter's already fucked-up mood.

Other times, Joe and I would sing along to DarthSydePhineas's "I AM FUCKING SONIC!" while Peter would be doing chores, and I would clean his house.

"I am fucking Sonic. And you can't fuck with me now. I am a fucking hedgehog! And I have spikes on my back! Oh shit!" Joebear and I would sing.

"Okay. I tried to send this fucker three times. Let me break this file down... AGAIN!!! SIIIIIIGHH!!!" Peter would say at least five times a day. The poor bastard just wanted to publish his novels and send them to every literary agent in the world. Whenever he said this rant, I was on the floor laughing every time while Joebear would try to help him break the file down. Joebear was a computer whiz. Peter was technologically-challenged. Joebear and I had a good laugh. Peter was pissed.

"Yes. I typed Artie Wonderbloom and The Green Goblin and Artie Wonderbloom and The Yellow Brick Road at least 20 times today. The fuck else did I write that I am trying to publish? I already published 20 screenplays. Let's move on with my life PLEASE!!!! SIGH! Fuck off. Where is the auto fill?" Peter would rant. "I published 20 screenplays and am trying to publish two novels. Why the fuck am I still doing DRYWALL? Because of the ever-failing healthcare AND insurance system in America and INFLATION! Fuck this world!" This rant happened at least once a day. This rant also made Joebear and me belly-laugh without sound. "Unbelievable. I was a porn star in my time. I wrote screen plays. I am writing two novels. Blood, sweat, and tears. Lots and lots of tears! Why the ACTUAL fuck am I broke? Because America. Because Republicans! Fuck. My. Life."

Joebear and I would cry laughing at this particular rant. We agreed. It was bullshit that even if you made over $50,000 a year, you were still fucking broke. That's why Joebear and I do our own business. We hate answering to people for no apparent reason.

Today, we felt more sympathetic for our tall, technologically-challenged friend than we usually did. I went over to poke him on the shoulder repeatedly. The poor bastard looked like he was about to cry.

"I have tried three times. Three fucking times. To format this goddamn E-mail correctly. These literary agents are pretentious, picky, self-centered pieces of dog shit. They have so so many fucking rules. It's their way or fuck you. Sigh. I should have been a literary agent. It would definitely help me make more money. If I knew how to be a literary agent, I'd do it. It would also relieve frustration, stress, and anxiety to tell other writers to fuck off if they so much as miss a comma! Fuck. These. Goddamn. People. I want to E-mail them and tell them exactly what the fuck I think!" Peter ranted with his trademark sigh.

Joebear and I laughed again.

"You need a new E-mail client. Comcrap is a piece of dog shit. Also, you do have a knack for missing commas. Your writing is amazing, but you forget commas like you forget everything else. Your memory sucks ass," I said.

"He uses Comcrap? No wonder!" Joebear chimed in.

"I know it!" Peter said as he accented his Southern accent. "You guys use G-mail, right?"

"Yes. XaraNCampanelli@gmail.com," I answered.

"How the fuck do you set up a G-mail account?" he asked.

Joebear sighed. "Xara. Help him please. I'm going to have a bowel movement now. I shall return," he said.

"Enjoy thy shit," I said to Joebear before I answered Peter. "Go to www.gmail.com."

He was typing the address into the Google search engine.

"Okay. Go to G-mail.com," I said.

He clicked the link.

"Now go to 'create account'," I said.

Peter clicked the link. "So I just fill this shit out, right?"

"Yes, Pete," I said.

He put his first name as Peter and last name as Awkward. G-mail suggested that his E-mail be PeterAwkward8@gmail.com.

"Sounds about right. You act like an eight-year-old," I said with a shrug.

"Works for me," he said with a grin. He now had an E-mail address of PeterAwkward8@gmail.com. His other one was SuperCopingMan@comcrap.net. He was also a super hero until last year when he had a mental breakdown and didn't feel like coping with being stuck in drywall, exploding cars, toilet gardens, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, naked neighbors, or birthday parties that went to shit because someone forgot the alcohol.

We continued to set up his G-mail account until he asked me what theme I thought he liked. I was sorry to say, but there was a serene purple scene with lilies in the background that I knew he liked. But it was too feminine. I saw Peter as a manly boy, a guy who liked trees, leaves, and old houses built in the 1800s. I was not going to stand for him to pick something so feminine. I guessed the leaf theme.

"Ugh. No. Too typical. Try again," he said.

"How about the woods?" I asked.

"Oh God. Everyone picks that!" Peter exclaimed.

"I don't. I made a custom black, purple, and white theme to describe my dark nature," I said.

He blinked and made a "taken-aback" face with an added shudder. "Well, I like the black theme, too, but that's too obvious," he said.

"How about the rainbow-colored fish one?" I asked.

"Okay. Stop picking what I *should* like and pick what I *know* I like," Peter said.

I sighed. "Peter, don't pick that purple one..." I said.

Joebear returned to the phone after a quick bowel movement. "So where are we in setting up the E-mail?" he asked.

"Peter picked a purple theme for his new G-mail account," I said.

"You know it!" Peter said with a smile.

"Peter, that's gay," I said.

"Oh my God. That's a faggot thing to do," Joebear said with a laugh.

"What? I like purple. And as I recall, Joebear, you like purple, too," he said as he picked the purple theme.

"Yeah, but I don't pick an overly purple theme! I'm not a faggot" he said.

Peter snickered. "Are you sure about that?" he asked.

"Yeah, dude. I'm pretty sure I'm not gay," Joebear said with an added "durrr!" at the end.

"Well, you liked purple, and you called me a faggot, so I had to ask," Peter responded.

"Oh God, Peter," I said and laughed. I went back to work for a bit to try to stop laughing at Peter. "You're such a girl!!!! You know what? I'm going to go ahead and buy you some eyeliner and lipstick. And maybe some new skinny jeans!"

Joebear and I cracked up at my remark. Peter snarled at us and continued to work on his computer.

"That's so gay," Joebear said and laughed. "Please don't do that seriously."

"I might," I said.

"Oh God! I'm done! Call me when something stupid happens!" Joebear said.

"Will do. Love you, bae!" I sang.

"Love you, too," he said as he made a dolphin sound.

I made a dolphin sound in return. He hung up the phone.

A few minutes later, I heard a few autistic growls emanating from Peter. He had Asperger's Syndrome, but no one told him yet. I laughed. His mom couldn't help but giggle and shake her head. She was so done with his shit that day. I could tell.

I called Joebear.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Bae, something stupid happened," I said.

"What now?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said as I put my phone on speaker. "I'Il find out." I went over to Peter and patted his shoulder.

"I tried to send this E-mail three goddamn times! Three! Now four! Christ, I can't count!" Peter said as he growled.

"Oh God!" Joebear said as he giggled.

"Maybe you put in the wrong E-mail address," I said.

"Maybe the first time, but I double-checked the website and double-checked my clipboard and everything was fine," he said loudly.

"Maybe the website had the wrong E-mail address," I said.

"No! I went to Donald K. Fulton's WEBSITE ITSELF. That's the literary agent! I took the damn E-mail straight from the damn website and copied it into the damn recipient's box on the goddamn E-mail!" Peter said as he started foaming at the mouth.

"Donald K. Fulton sounds like a faggot's name," Joebear said.

"It is. This guy is a *real* faggot. I hope this faggot accepts my story," Peter said.

The tune, "I Spawn, I Die," by DarthSydePhineas was in the background.

"Dude, have you ever thought that maybe you're just bad with computers?" I said humorously to Peter.

"Not only that, BUT I'M CURSED!!!!!!" Peter yelled as he grabbed his monitor by the sides and stared intently at it with rage. Then he calmed down just for a moment and smiled. "Sometimes these websites just aren't designed very well!"

I laughed. "Because they were designed by Americans."

"Yeah, Americans can't program worth a shit," Joebear added before he sung a mock version of 'I Spawn, I Die.' "They spawn, they die. They spawn, they die. Every mother fucker has stupid E-mails. Every mother fucker has stupid E-mails. D-D-D-D-D-Dumbasses! D-D-D-D-D-Dumbasses!"

"Oh God! Everything with you guys is racist!" Peter said as he rolled his eyes. "How do you refresh the page?"

"Press F5 on the top of your keyboard, you Old Fuck," I said with a giggle.

Joebear snickered at me. "WOW!" he said with a high-pitched quick laugh.

Peter was 54. I was 30. Joebear was 39. And Peter was bad with computers. I was going to call Peter an Old Fuck.

"The fuck did you just call me?" Peter asked as he pressed F5 and turned his face toward me.

"An Old Fuck. You're 54 and are terrible with computers!" I yelled.

"Oh fuck off. You're as bad as these terribly CONFIGURATED web sites!" he said as he flicked me off.

"If we were in Korea, our websites wouldn't be fucked up," Joebear said. "Americans are just STUPID with programming. You need help, Peter?"

"Yes," he answered. "But not before I beat this computer into submission. I haven't tried that yet!" All of a sudden, Peter rose and punched his monitor in the face. "How do you like that?" He kicked the computer desk. "That's what I think of you, you piece of shit!"

Joebear and I cracked up.

"Really? You beat the computer? How is that going to help?" Joebear said as he cracked up. "Oh God."

"This computer cannot be helped," Peter said before he turned off his tablet kindly. He then opened his window. He turned off the computer. "Thank God I backed up all my shit up on a hard drive. Thank you, Joebear."

"You're welcome. What were you trying to do?" Joebear asked with a chuckle.

Peter then went into crying hysterics. "I just wanted to send my query letter to Donald K. Fulton. That's all. Is that too much to ask?" Peter cried.

"Dude, just send it as an attachment," Joebear said.

"No literary agent accepts attachments because trolls put bad stuff on them," Peter said as he was literally crying.

"Oh wow. Don't they have anticuck software to determine if the attachment is fucked?" Joebear asked.

"An anti-what?" Peter asked as he was sniffling.

"It's antivirus software and adblockers to determine whether your attachments are bullshit or not," I answered.

"I don't know, but I can't get this thing to send," Peter said.

"Fuck it. Try it again later," Joebear said.

"Good idea," Peter said with an evil smile. "I'll try it again WITH A NEW COMPUTER!" He then went ape shit on his computer all of a fucking sudden; he pounded on the sides of the monitor while grunting and swearing. He repeatedly kicked the fuck out of his computer and broke the monitor. "Fuck it! This computer is 10 years old. I am going to Microcenter in Duluth tomorrow to put my shit on a computer that actually fucking works! Fuck this piece of shit! Need to buy a new goddamn computer and need to bitch at these literary agents for being less computer savvy than I am. I'd like to beat the shit out of them." He suddenly threw his computer the fuck out of his window. "Aaaaagggfghhhhhhhhhh! Get the fuck out of here!!!! FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT COMPUTER!!! FUCK THESE LITERARY AGENTS!"

Joebear was laughing hysterically over the phone. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" He asked between laughs. "Okay. That happened. I wasn't expecting that! Wow!" He was crying with laughter. "Holy Cow!"

At this point, I really should be used to Peter's random autistic rages, but I found every single one of them hilarious. I just fucking laughed until my chest felt like exploding. My mouth was hurting from smiling too much out of laughter. I was beyond shocked when he threw his computer out of a window. I was in a ball and crying with laughter. What the fuck, Peter?

"What the fuck?!" Ted the Alligator yelled. "I can't even walk in people's front yard without getting shit thrown at me! Fuuucccck. I'm just trying to find something to fucking eat. I get a COMPUTER thrown at me? The fuck is wrong with this world?"

Joebear continued to sing a mock version of DarthSydePhineas's song, 'I Spawn, I Die.' "Can't stop killing it. Can't stop. Can't stop killing it. Don't how to stop! Can't stop killing it! Don't know how to stop!" He followed with a laughing fit.

When Ted was randomly in Peter's front yard, I was trying to hold my heart in my chest. I was having an autistic laughing fit. I was laughing without being able to breathe.

"What is going on? Is Peter fighting someone? What? Over a computer?" Joebear asked in disbelief and was chuckling.

"Yes. He is fighting with an alligator in his front yard. This shit is hilarious," I said while belly laughing.

"What? Is he Steve Erwin now?! I didn't know computer issues could have such an effect on mental stability," Joebear said while laughing.

"Why the fuck are you in my yard, Ted?! Jesus! Haven't you learned from the time I chased your ass with a chainsaw?" Peter yelled at him and was ready to throw the computer DESK at Ted.

"Nigga, I ain't even KNEW this was your yard. I normally come in the back yard. I didn't know this was YOUR front yard. Shit. The fuck you throwing your computer at me for?" Ted asked him and was ready to fuck up Peter.

Peter was holding his computer desk and ready to beat Ted with it. "I didn't know you were in my fucking yard!!! If I knew you were there, I would have beat you WITH my computer. Get the fuck out of my yard!" Peter screamed at him. "You're more of a piece of shit than my computer!" Peter made a stupid laugh after that last comment.

"Nigga, I swear to God I'mma fuck you up in your own house. Come at me, bro!" Ted screamed back at him. "I'm hungry and am in no mood for your BUULL SHIT!" Ted was slithering toward Peter. "Had enough of your damn shit!"

"Ted. Where you at?" Mr. Williamson's voice saved Peter's tall Irish ass.

Joebear and I were howling with laughter.

"Record this! Record this!" Joebear yelled.

"Will do," I said. "I'll send you the video when I finish with it!"

"Okay. Love you, bae," he said.

"Love you, too," I said. "I see you later."

He hung up, and I began to record these bums arguing.

"Man, this nigga threw a computer at me! I was tryna find something to eat and then this crazy man comes at me," Ted yelled.

"Your alligator is in my yard again! Get out of my yard! What? Is my yard a hangout or something? I've been through this five times! Can we please stop now?!" Peter yelled. "Excuse me. I need to beat the hell out of my computer. I gotta find a hammer." He then came in the house through the window to find a hammer.

I was recording Peter coming through the window before I turned my attention to Mr. Williamson.

"Come on Ted. This guy is off his rocker," Mr. Williamson said as he shook his head and cracked up.