#love lavellan's response to that too. very in character and i think it would have earned my rook's respect

[annalyticall]

From the start I made my Rook with the hope she could have an antagonistic relationship with my Inquisitor so I'm glad I'm able to get a little bit of that

[thedreadcandlehop]

Watching the cut scene where the team discusses this particular regret of Solas frustrates me. Honestly most of the cut scenes of about his regrets frustrate me.

At the end of the cut scene of this regret Rooks says: 'Solas has a war on his conscience.' But he doesn't? Was Solas a part of it? Yes. But he didn't start this war all by himself. The earth started shaking when the first elves/spirits took lyrium to make themselves bodies (all the Evanuris and Forgotten Ones, however many there were) and its been made very clear Solas is not a Firstborn but came later.

The Titans didn't wait until Solas made himself a body to fight back. If Solas hadn't made himself a body the war would have began anyway. Solas was one of many elves that took a body at that time. All the elves/spirits that took part in taking lyrium and making themselves a body are to blame for the war between elves and Titans. And it really bothers me how to game makes it sound like Solas himself is the reason and he should shoulder the blame for the war with the titans.

The one thing I do feel like Solas can and should be be rightiously blamed for is creating his dagger to tranquilize the Titans. That is, in my opinion, his greatest crime and the one thing I'm not sure he should ever be forgiven for. Or if forgiveness can be given, it can only come from the dwarves.

In the cut scene after this regret Davrin says he thinks Solas doesn't regret what he did to the Titans but only regrets that it created the Blight. I personally think it's both. In Inquisition if you as Inquisitor sentence someone to be made tranquil Solas very much disapproves each time. I think there was even a conversation somewhere where he does outright says it? I think Solas truly finds making people tranquil very wrong and it probably stems from what he was a part of with the Titans. His dagger tranquilized the Titans and created the Blight and both I think are his greatest regrets.

I love Solas, as a character and as a Lavellan, but I'm not sure he should be forgiven for this. I'm not sure I can roleplay my Lavellen to ever forgive him either. It's too big a crime. It's the one thing I very severely judge him for...

Everything else that happens after is mostly elves fighting amongst eachother and vying for power and wanting to rule and be worshiped. Solas beginning his rebellion should never be something he should be blamed for. He saw tyrants try to raise themselves to godhood (and succeed) and tried to free his people from slavery. He can't be faulted for that. It's damn brave. So blaming him because the Evanuris decided to use the Blight to stop a rebellion? How can anyone see that and think 'Yes, the Evanuris using the Blight is Solas' fault'??!

And it was also brave of him turning to Mythal to try and stop the Evanuris from using the Blight. As far as he knew she could have had betrayed him to the Evanuris. I get that he regrets that it ended with Mythal being murdered but that's not something he caused. The Evanuris are to blame for betraying her and killing her, and acting like Solas is to blame is just the game trying to make the player hate on Solas. Him regretting it because it ended in Mythal's death I understand, but the team acting like he's responsible for her death is very strange. Mythal was betrayed by the Evanuris, not Solas.

And then Solas trying to lock the Evanuris away after Mythal's murder and them actually starting to mess with the Blight is not something anyone should blame Solas for? He did the best he could to stop them. The Evanuris were literally using the Blight and getting corrupted and were making plans to blight the world. But somehow the game wants to make this seem like Solas is evil for the creation of the Veil? Like he destroyed the elven empire on purpose to avenge Mythal? No he didn't! He wanted to lock the Evanuris and the Blight away and the Veil was an accident. (And yes just because something is an accident doesn't mean he's not respeonsible for it, but come on, what's worse? A Blighted world or a world with the Veil?)

I made another post about this once and I really think a blighted world under the full power fo the Blight is far worse than the world with the Veil (remember that most of the Blight is still locked away in the prison during the events of Veilguard, but during Solas' rebellion all the Evanuris had access to the full power of the Blight. That's seven blighted fully powered Evanuris!)

The creationof the Veil was an accident and ended up crumbling the Elven empire. But if he hadn't done what he did, the elven Empire would have been the Blighted Empire and stopped existing anyway.

And Solas killing Mythal? I still have mixed feelings about it. Obviously I understand his regret because he killed a piece of his very much beloved old friend. But on the other hand it's not that Mythal was a beacon of goodness either. One of the team once called Mythal 'the one good god' but I don't think Mythal was good. She wasn't bad like the other Evanuris, but she did want to be worshiped like a god and kept slaves. She convinced her loyal friend to do something she knew he didn't want, convinced him to create the dagger that tranquilized the Titans, and went along with the Evanuris to become a god.

And yes, Solas is the one who made each decision in the end and holds full responsibility for that. I'm not saying he doesnt. What I'm saying is that Mythal carries at least as much responsibility as Solas, if not more. And it bothers me a lot that the team discusses these regrets as if Solas is the only one who carries blame for everything while Mythal get's the be the 'one good god' that got betrayed by Solas, as if she didn't commit the exact same crimes herself.

Mythal is as interesting and complex a character as Solas and should be treated equally. But somehow the game pretends she's a 'good god' and a victim of Solas, while Solas is burdened with each and every crime that is equally Mythal's crime.

Anyway, I do love The Veilguard >< I just have some frustrations with some of the story-telling here and there. And while the regrets explain a lot about Solas and I'm glad we got them so we can better understand him, the way the team is written to react to these regrets is one of my biggest frustrations with The Veilguard.

Before The Veilguard came out I was afraid they'd make Solas too good, and I wanted to see Fen'Harel The Dread Wolf at work. But instead I feel they tried to make him too evil and ignored how nuanced and grey a character he is.

I can't get enough of this game though! It's so good!

Edit: I'd love to hear other people's opinions on this! Maybe I'm missing something? I don't know. I also just want to talk about The Veilguard!

[scribeofmorpheus]

One thing I wanna know: if you could change anything about solas design and/or backstory, what would It be?

great, great, great question, anon!

design-wise, i do love his apostate-hobo chic look, with the fake bad posture to boot. I am feral for dai concept art solas, with his dark-skin and smouldering expression, but i am so enamoured with the fact that his character was so compelling, so tragic and well-rounded, so mysteriously wise yet charmingly comforting, that he quickly bypassed my "aesthetics" barrier (i was a teen when i first played inquisition, fed the lie of stereotypical beauty standards and straight media homogenising what boundaries a "good" character can lie in--that said, i also romanced garrus, and he's hot af, so!). and I'm glad for it. literally, i think his design, especially his drooping eyes, flat nose and cleft chin (baldness too, i guess lmfaoo) opened my eyes to the fact a character's depth can actually endear them to the point you fall in love with them, from bare feet in the snow to those adorable freckles!

backstory: i do love how the tales surrounding him always placed him as something of a morally grey figure--doomed to be every victor's scapegoat but never turned outwardly malicious in those very surviving myths (a testament to the power of the dread wolf's affect on thedas). i will say, i am very disappointed they retconned the scene between him and flemythal in datv. it took so much of his agency away. i want that back! THE PEOPLE!

if i could definitively change ONE thing--it's going to be such a stupid thing but it bothers me (inconsistency bothers me)--it'd be about whether he's bald from stress, he magically doesn't grow his hair, or baldness is the natural sign of ancient elves having reached mature years. give me bald mythal cowards!

in all seriousness, i'd probably have him wear a symbol of the inquisition on his armour, like something small and easily missable--a token. that detail would have enormous implications! romanced. rivals. friendship. inquisition was the first "mistake" he was responsible for that led to the birth of a hero--a herald who would help save the world from needless doom, from his mistake with corypheus--it's the first hail mary that works out in the end. it should mean something to him. also give lavellan the jawbone necklace! give it to her to wear in datv! she deserves it!

[bratgoatswiss]

Apologies for length, have to save the cut for spoilers.

I FINISHED VEILGUARD!

I have. So many thoughts and emotions about it and I'm still processing but I just wanted to counter some of the vitriol I'm seeing from people who are doing the Fandom thing with what I hope are reasonable, normal thoughts. Ha. Haha. Anyway. Mostly spoiler free but there's one small thing and one BIG thing that is that I'll put under the read more.

There was a lot to like about this game. The combat was fun and I think upon a 2nd playthrough it'll be even better. Some of it could get repetitive but its not a big gripe.

The characters were very endearing and felt well fleshed out as people and I enjoyed spending time with them. Most of the side quests were related to your companions in some way and I thought that was clever. Some were more interesting than others.

The writing has been contentious and I can see why. It can get cheesy and predictable in places, but overall I thought it was very similar to DA2. I enjoyed it and thought it reflected some realistic responses to what was happening around you. If you're here for gritty edgelord shit 24/7 go play Dark Souls you weirdo.

I can only speak for the Lucanis romance cause I love an angsty man, but it was perhaps, underpadded. It was slow and sweet and I did like it very much but I could have used some...more you know? I didn't even get to see my own tits and that's tragic.

Solas. I did not romance the egg in DAI. I do not like the egg. I liked how I got to handle the egg. So much. I've seen the Lavellan romance scenes and if there's any uproar from the Sollavellans (one l or 2?) it's because they didn't let you see the 2 of them fuck nasty in high definition for an hour. It's Rooks story now. You're fine. Go write fanfiction.

The lore. Hoo boy. Honestly they really did put everything in a blender and fished out what they liked. Everything is made up and the points don't matter. I don't LOVE that they retconned so much of what was in Origins. Zevran and the Crows especially seems really odd. I THINK the idea is that it's been like 20-30ish years since all that and stuff has changed or information was wrong or inaccurate or whatever? But that seems lazy. I wish they'd addressed it more with SOMETHING. But also there's 3 games worth of lore, not to mention comics and novels and like. I get it. But consistency guys. Add more codex entries or something. This is my biggest gripe. It did not impact my enjoyment too much. I loved what was added.

Spoilers below

That ending was so ABRUPT?! At least with DAI you got a ending party and final scene with your LI but here you get some end cards and voice over? I would have accepted that if we were getting DLC but this?? This is insane! Bioware I am begging on my knees to give us at least a "well we did it!" scene. The ending was epic but the ENDING was a disappointment.

Now. The suicide mission. I spent [redacted] number of hours investing blood, sweat, and tears of friendship into these 7 assholes and there is NO way to save 1 of them?? And you have to choose between Harding and Davrin??? Just those 2?? There should be a way to save them! Don't give me the no matter what crap! I don't want CONSEQUENCES I want FRIENDSHIP. If you could do it in ME2 you should be able to do it here. Also. Can we not have it be 50/50 heroic sacrifice with a black man? Like. I know you can technically choose but like why make it an option. It just feels weird.

So yeah. Initial thoughts and feelings. Overall good with some stuff I really disliked. I will be normal about this eventually.

I'll probably regret sending this out into the world when the sollavellens find me. Oh well.

[mercysought]

before I jump on my memes, I mentioned at some point last week to talk about two things:

why I like that Solas doesn't even ask Lavellan to join him in tearing down the Veil

why Asharen wouldn't have joined him, even if he had asked

For the first point: I am of course not writing Solas on this blog, however, I do really like that Solas doesn't ask Lavellan. I like to think that, for my own Lavellan and how their relationship is, that he would likely know beyond the fact that he wouldn't want to drag her into this. Wouldn't want to see whatever he would need to do in order to achieve his goals or whatever he would need to become. It's a matter of respect for who this person was, this person that "changed everything" and how involving them in this thing that had destroyed already so much, caused so much pain I think that it speaks of Solas' character that he would want to shield her from it. As well as perhaps save whatever image she had of him in the process. This being said, I think Asharen feels a lot of "I would have expected you to trust me!" energy, though at the same time this is very clearly a purely emotional response.

The reality of what would entail explaining such things would be complicated at best and potentially relationship destroying at worst. For someone that has been so deeply alone for so long... Well, I cannot blame him. Anyway, I am just here to enjoy the pain ❤️

For the second point: I think that if, for Solas, his time in Inquisition showed him a "world of tranquil" where so much of his actions caused devastation, Asharen probably takes much of the opposite learnings.

For the first time in her life, she sees people of multiple races and backgrounds, mages and non mages alike be able to work together towards a common goal. For the first time, she was able to see the world that could be and should be, the deep kindness of people helping each other despite the desperation and pain and suffering. Inquisition made her see the world beyond just a Fereldan refugee that ended up being lucky in settling in Antiva, where her clan was able to go back and forth. Where magic wasn't strictly controlled. Where relation with humans was somewhat more accepting. Her time as Inquisitor made her see that people are good, capable of great kindness towards each other even in the smallest acts.

From a smaller selfish standpoint, she does have an extended and really close family. Tearing down the veil, precautions or not, would be an immediate no go. Especially if the explanation revolves a lot around trust. It's too risky and the destruction of life too great. I really like that during the cutscenes it looks like the Inquisitor has a spine because especially as a romanced inquisitor, someone like Asharen at least, it would be easy to see someone twist and bend their values because you deeply love that someone (platonically or romantically)

Standing up for your beliefs despite love and hurt can be a hard thing to do, especially when the person you love feels very strongly about those things (such as tearing down the veil)

[yume-x-hanabi]

So I've played enough Veilguard that I've finally recruited all companions. I've been enjoying the game so far, but ngl I really miss Inquisition in many ways. I think I'll replay it after this (but I need to finish Zelda too, aaah so many games, so little time).

Anyway, some thoughts so far. (If you respond, please keep your response spoiler free for anything that happens after recruiting the last two companions.)

The three main things I really miss from Inquisition are:

1. Exploration

Like I know, there's a lot to do on the areas we get, but... idk, it feels kinda linear and disconnected at the same time. I really loved how vast the zones in DAI were, like there's this meme about never leaving the Hinterlands but honestly that's what got me hooked to the game in the first place, there was just so much to explore, it felt like the possibilities were endless. Here it's a bit too much like Xillia lol, follow a path, maybe come back later to open up new zones, but otherwise it's pretty linear. (ik it's closer to DAO and DA2 in that regard so it's not like they're changing the formula entirely, but personally I preferred the DAI style and I really miss it.)

2. Skyhold

I know it fits the circumstances better, but... the Lighthouse feels so empty. I miss how bustling the homebase was. I miss going to the companions and talking to them about random stuff. I miss the NPC populating the area (you can find them in other cities mind you, but it's not the same thing if you have to travel to different places instead of just hearing their ambient dialogue as you run around your own castle). I miss the war table missions.

3. Getting a feel of your character from early on

I like Rook but gosh building up headcanon for her is a struggle. We're told next to nothing about her background, so ig you could feel like "great, a blank slate to headcanon in any way" except wrong, because you'll then get details that contradict it later on. I really, really wish they'd either been clearer about certain stuff in the character creator, or even better, let you set things up at the beginning through dialogue wheel choices. Like, one of my fave parts of Inquisition was to develop my Inky through the options given through conversations with companions or story moments. I played a Lavellan, and I had fun establishing her feelings about her clan and elf culture, how she hated the Andraste thing being forced upon her, stuff like that. With Rook, I made her a Veil Jumper elf mage, so I thought she was Dalish, picked vallaslin and everything... only to learn she's not Dalish when picking the option to comment on her vallaslin. But then she speaks elvish and knows Dalish cultural things (which would make sense for a Veil Jumper as she did spend some time with a Dalish clan but I'm told other faction Rooks also have that when it makes no sense for them). Also apparently she might have been in a Circle? Not sure, the game isn't entirely clear but seems to both imply it and not. I guess it's to leave stuff out for interpretation but I would have much preferred it if it was something you could define clearly through options.

Like take the Dalish vs city elf thing - quite easy, instead of that weird comment when picking the vallaslin option in the mirror scene, have several options, one that's like "I remember the day I got my vallaslin like it was yesterday" (cue more options like "I was so nervous/excited/happy/scared/whatever"), one that's "I got it when I joined the VJ", and one that's "I know I'm not Dalish but I thought it was cool". Or something like that. And based on those options you get slightly altered lines when your background becomes relevant later on. Like, please help me build my character, game. Don't just let me make stuff up in my head only and then spring details at me out of nowhere.

A few others things I'm a bit eh about:

Dialogues often feel very stilted. Could be due to the voice acting tho; the voice I picked for my Rook has a rather unnatural speech cadence in a lot of instances, I wish she sounded more like how a real person talks rather than a pre-recorded train announcement lol. Do English-speaking players have the same issue or is it just the French VO?

It feels weird saying this, but where's the discrimination gone? I'm playing an elven mage, and I've yet to hear a single "knife-ear", even in fricking Tevinter. The tension between all the races and mage vs non-mage etc was part of what made this world so rich, so it feels like we're in a diluted version of the setting, which as worldbuilding nerd is pretty disappointing.

The lack of continuity with your previous games' playthroughs. Like I don't need a full report on how my every choices impacted the current story, but I wish we could have carried more over, if only for throwaway lines and little world tidbits. Like talking to Harding about the Inquisition is frustrating compared to how detailed Varric was about the DA2 cast in DAI. And there are some choices I thought would be significant, like who is made Divine, Bull's fate in Trespasser (and whether he romanced Dorian ;p) etc. Like seriously I don't need much, just a throwaway line here and there, which is sad not to even have.

That said, there's a lot of things I like so far:

The little visual details. Like I'm obsessed with the way long hair falls off the shoulder when Rook moves. So cool. Also injured companion's scars fading progressively. Little things like that are pretty neat, I spend a lot of time just staring at the screen lol.

Some areas are really pretty. I also spend a lot of time staring at the scenery lol

The way you can set appearance independent from equipment. Also the personalization of the Lighthouse. Yeah ik I'm a sucker for fashion and interior design options XD

All the accessibility options. I don't really need them, and idk if they're well implemented, but looking at all the ways to customize your gameplay is pretty cool.

Also this is the first time I've actually heard "iel" spoken out loud.

The puzzles. Sometimes it's a bit frustrating to be stuck on a thing until you have more companions (can't help it, I see a treasure chest, I need it now), but otherwise figuring out how to get the stuff can be pretty satisfying. Sometimes I spend a lot of time on it, thinking I should probably come back later then, but end up solving it anyway. I wish there'd be more sidequests tho.

ASSAN. I'm tempted to romance Davrin just for Assan lmao. Also, petting cats and dogs everywhere. The cats purring. Gimme all the cats.

Overall I'm quite liking all the companions so far. There's still a lot to discover about them, but they're all compelling in their own way, and it's always hard to choose who to take along (while in Inquisition I had clear favorites rather easily). Also banter between them when exploring being more frequent really makes me want to bring different combinations to get to know them and help them get to know each other heheh. (Honestly I might end up shipping them between each other more than with Rook lol)

Varric's dramatic storytelling at the end of each story point.

The basic premise. Solas' 10-year grand plot to tear down the Veil being thwarted by a reckless dumbass knocking down a statue and him getting trapped as a result and being relegated to giving cryptic advice in her dreams is peak comedy. A+ execution, would do it again.

Bellara and Neve starting a bookclub. I think I'm more invested in this ambient subplot than in the main story at the moment lmao

[kaija-rayne-author]

Some thinkee thoughts about 'the scene' and Solas's Romance. Spoilers for DAI Dragon Age Inquisition.

Okay, so, I've finished the base game part of the Solavellan playthrough. I've read a fair bit of responses to it all by now. But there're a few things I haven't yet seen. It's possible I just haven't discovered them, but I found some very salient character/story things in Solas that I want to share.

Please no spoilers on Trespasser or the books. I haven't gotten to them yet. My Inquisitor is non-binary like me, but because of how I RP her, I still use she/her or they/them pronouns for them.

For context, my real life job is an editor, and I'm a multiply published author.

The Solavellan Romance is an absolutely stunning example of a star-crossed lovers relationship. It's incredibly obvious they love one another, but due to Solas's plans and beliefs, they can't be together.

In the line 'in another world' you can sense his longing to set down his burden and just love her.

I can clearly see that it's this world, and this enby he's falling more and more in love with. But she will disappear when he works his plan. He's already in too deep. He just doesn't understand that yet.

That is the chef's kiss of star-crossed lovers. The longing, the subtle desperation, the knowledge of your love, and the deeper knowledge that you can't have it. That the stars are crossing the path of the love and severing any possibility of continuance.

All of that is beautifully crafted into Solas as a character.

I have so much professional and heartaching praise for this perfectly executed star-crossed lovers set up. Patrick Weekes deserves all the props for that. Star-crossed isn't easy to write. I know because I often write it. I have a deep weakness for star-crossed lovers, so I read it a lot too. This one was perfect.

I have to admit I don't understand all the fan reactions hating on Solas or acting as if he doesn't actually love the Inquisitor.

I mean, love or hate him, I don't personally care what people feel about him because it's a very personal thing. I just know how he makes me feel (and thus, my inky too).

But why are people questioning whether he cares about, loves, the Inquisitor? It's written all over him! Every gesture, every facial expression. Every tiny hitch in his breath.

I don't think I've seen his fear mentioned anywhere. Again, I just may have not run across it yet, but for such an integral part of that break up scene, you'd think people would be talking about it. He's running scared, utterly terrified. He's not leaving her for anything else.

Think about it. He's (likely) immortal, or at the very least nigh-immortal. Some estimates of his age are in the 5000 year bracket. From his perspective, he wakes up from a really long nap to find out the world he loved; the world in which he rebelled against the powers that were (who were possibly even his family) to save his people, only to find it has turned into something so unrecognizable that he feels honour bound to rectify his mistake. Honour is a heavy and incredibly important thing to Solas. You can see that in his reaction to Blackwall's revelation.

Solas is ashamed, grieving, planning to fix it but not sure he can. Alone, because he can't count on anyone else. (And his greatest fear is dying alone!) OF COURSE he's scared of falling in love. NOW IS NOT THE TIME must be ringing through him.

Hell, many many people are afraid of falling in love and they don't have a spot on the Dread Wolf's baggage.

Lavellan makes him feel. For a mortal. She draws his fascination away from the fade. Something he's said straight up is something that's never happened and he didn't think was possible. She jeopardizes his plans, yes. But if you've never experienced that kind of love, one thing I will say about it is this... if you fall deeply enough, there is very little that's unthinkable in reaching a place where you can have that love. That's the crux of his motivation in that scene.

That's what made him suddenly break it off. You can see it in the moment he pulls back from the kiss. He's blissed out when he's kissing her. The curve of his eyebrow and the way he has his eyes closed show that clearly. But then it hits him... he can't do this. His eyes widen just a fraction and you can see the moment he realizes he will absolutely lose himself to Lavellan. He would go down the path he's likely seen hundreds of thousands of times, falling in love. So deeply in love that he’d give up everything else for the path that would see him accept the world as it is, something he finds anathema, so he can stay in her arms, keep her, keep her freely offered love. His honour could never allow that.

Our wolfy boy is so terrified he turned tail and skeddadled with said tail tucked between his legs like the wolf he is.

I don't think I've seen even a peep about his fear. The reason he would tell everyone (and himself) for breaking things off with inky is that if his plans succeed, she won't exist anymore. There's foreshadowing on this in his personal quest with the spirit.

He believes so strongly that he needs to fix what he broke that he is cutting his heart out and leaving it on a silver platter because his people need him more than he needs his heart. That's his bedrock belief. And he can't let anything get in the way of that.

He's telling himself he has to let her go because of his plans, but that's just his excuse. Apparently, even immortal elven gods lie to themselves about love.

When he breaks it off with Lavellan, it feels like a shock because it's a shock to him as well. He took her to the waterfall to tell her the truth about himself.

His voice hitches just a little before he switches paths to tell her about the Vellaslin. I'd bet he was going to tell her who he is. But at the ultimate moment, he chickens out.

Wish I could draw better, I've got a hilarious image in my head of Solas as wolf covered in chicken feathers running full tilt away from Lavellan. Who has a silvery leash from her heart to his throat. The guy is lost already, he just doesn't know it.

He surprised them both. The depth of his feelings for her scare the shit out of him. He suddenly knows that he would give up everything for this love. He panics, and he's running scared from committing to the enby he loves.

There's an interesting bit of coincidence in that theme, and it's been used in Dragon Age before. Soilers for DAO

If you ever managed to piss off Alistair in DAO on the kingship path, (I managed it without trying hard 😅) he breaks up with you for much the same reason. His dialogue there includes 'I could get lost in you'. And that is what has sent our wolf running for the hills.

Solas has so very obviously never been in love before. He's hinted at that several times in his dialogue. TBH, I get 'virgin in the real world' vibes from Solas.

He may have had relationships with spirits, he may have done as Blackwall hinted and 'gotten frisky with a spirit in the fade'. But Lavellan is the first time (and Dreadwolf may very well prove me wrong) that Solas feels actual romantic love on the mortal plane. And for a mortal nonetheless! At the WORST possible time.

Another thing I don't see people talking about much, if at all, is how heavily neurodivergent coded Solas is.

I mean, nerdy research expert type dude who has eons of knowledge. (Walking encyclopedia thing, anyone?)

Esoteric artist using ancient methods?

Extreme reaction to an innocuous beverage like tea? (Taste/texture sensitivities anyone?)

Always on the edge of things?

Knows far more than he says?

Always observing, always learning.

He even stims in the cut scenes several times. He's heavily coded as either autistic or ADHD or both.

I've seen complaints that Solas isn't very emotive. But to me, he's screaming emotion with every gesture, every breath. Especially in the dawnlit and waterfall scenes.

I'm not even sure what to call it, animation? Modelling? What kind of name can you give moving artwork like a modern video game? Anyway, whoever took the writing part and made the visuals for Solas, I think, understood neurodivergency and enacted it perfectly.

His emotional tells are there. But, like the character himself, they're subtle.

Given how many complaints I've seen about that topic, I have to then wonder if I can see it better because I'm neurodivergent and my family is too. I'm used to reading neurodivergent people.

That's... that's not me being arrogant. Neurotypical people cannot read autistic and ADHD people very well, if at all. Our body language and facial expressions are so subtle or different that we're often accused of being angry when we're having a good time or are just deep in thought. Heard the term 'resting bitch face'? Yup. That's a common (soooo common) marker for an autistic or ADHD or autistic/ADHD person.

He's heavily neurodivergent coded, maybe that's why I don't have any trouble reading him? Are people just not picking up on all the details I do? (There's no judgement or fault in this. It's just fact. A lot of autistic and ADHD folks can't read NTs either. I can, but it’s something I learned to do vs anything innate. We're wired so differently and speak completely different non-verbal languages.)

During the waterfall scene, before the final part, he's got so much love and awe on his face and in his body language that it's so so obvious he loves Lavellan. I just can't grok the questions of does he or doesn't he. If he didn't, he'd have acted much differently.

It's just as obvious by the end of the scene that he's convinced himself he can't have her. That they can't have each other.

I've absolutely joined the Solavellan hell carousel 😆. I desperately hope Dreadwolf offers some sort of positive closure for Lavellan and Solas. I hope bioware believes in happy endings.

Aaaand my opinion is subject to change after I play Trespasser. I don't know very much of what happens in that, so I may have to eat these words.

[platoniccereal]

I loved ur question sm, so I'd love to read about how ur ocs changed over time too !! Who changed the most ??

thank yoouuu!! 😭

i would say hawke changed the least, while the warden and the inquisitor... walked their certain paths.

i always kinda new that garrett needs to be the purple option. what changed is that i made his appearance default. my very first run was hawke that i modeled without much thought put into it. i would say over the years garrett became less of "a snarky protag" and more of "an insensitive asshole with no filter", but there's not much space between these 2 points. also he regained some family members, haha: i decided not to kill off carver, before i would prefer the whole family being narratively murdered. hawke became a more narratively structured character, just a simple formula "all i want is to have a big pack and keep it save VS they just won't stay together or alive," "i want to be a usual shithole citizen with a decent life VS i'm always in the centre of something happening."

allaros lavellan changed significantly over time because he what, exists for 8-9 years? i remember in earlier concepts of lavellan his prominent feature was a permanent exhaustion, also he had enhanced senses and wore a fabric mask all the time due to it, yada yada yada. he had a, err, lingerie-stockings-super-expressive sort of demeanor. now my love for this type of masculinity is outsourced to another fandom completely, and allaros became tougher, sturdier and doesn't have a very expressive style that feels like an explosion. also, his background changed from massive angst for the sake of angst, now it makes more sense. he just gained serious responsibility issues and is irreversibly doomed by a narrative. :)

i'd say allaros became a more... mature character, and i'm proud of these changes.

surana did a sort of 180° turn on their heels. it was the only character i created with a purpose and a concept in mind. the concept was a shem-hating radical elf, and later ice would break for leliana with a kind of tsundere attitude. just terrible. years later i realized that making surana for a concept of someone who actively doesn't give a fuck about a human country is not very reasonable. the radicalization was outsourced to allaros, and the actively malicious personality was passed to cousland, which now makes more sense. surana now has a tough-sweet personality, they don't let humans see their mistakes and weaknesses – they now they're judged and it's a circle habit, but at the same time people around surana just can't not fall in love with them. although now i cannot stop thinking about them making alistair a king and sparing loghain, so they enter their divorce era. it's too much of a temptation for palpable tension between two key figures in fereldan history, the king and the hero of ferelden. this would be another 180° turn because surana wouldn't make any of these decisions. i'm still not quite satisfied with their story. i don't even know their gender yet! i just know i want a bi awakening for alistair, and this dynamic with the warden specifically is v important to me.

thanks for your question!!

[treviso-nights]

ty for the thoughtful response! :) i appreciate it, and it helped put more things into perspective for me (kinda?? i'm still juggling my thoughts about him tbh)

i'm currently on veilguard!tiktok rn, and thank god, but a lot of the discourse surrounding the various endings of the game have me in circles and i agree with (mostly) all of it in terms of characterization: i.e., solas is a wise/curious/mischievous spirit by nature (tho it often doesn't feel like it post-dai) AND he is capable of and continues to commit great atrocities (while also feeling bad about them, i guess). etc etc etc, bc there's obv a lot to his canon character as we know it.

spoilers for those who haven't finished the game yet below:

for example, as someone who romanced solas in dai and was active in the solavellan community for awhile, i couldn't come to terms with why he made me so mad despite being drawn to and romancing him. and then watching him interact with rook, i was mad AGAIN but it felt like a completely different kind of irritation. i suppose, to me, even in rl, there is nothing more terrifying than a powerful man who commits heinous (sometimes war) crimes, genuinely feels remorse, and then continues to do them. that dissonance i think speaks to the very core of what we're capable of as people and it is sooooo uncomfortable.

with that being said, obv if you manage to convince him to do the right thing by bringing out mythal, this final act of walking away mitigates the disaster bringing the veil down would incur. (and yes, i know there is a good chunk of the fandom that wants to help him do that, to each their own.) the thing that i can't get over (as a former solasmancer) is that people alive in thedas in its current era are still feeling the tremendous and Bad™️ repercussions of things he did 2k years ago, and in 2/3 of the endings, he has every intention of bringing about another calamity.

ehhh, i don't want this to be too long !! and i'm still working it out! my point is, 1) i think ur right about how he might want to be treated, what he truly desires vs what came to be, AND that he is not honest with rook in terms of information/intentions he gives them throughout the game (tho i still think there's something there with rook knowing who he is from the beginning, which i think is a more accurate summation of what i was trying to get at :) and then 2) "rook is a means to an end." yes!! i agree!! what i love about that is that rook is also the only protag we've gotten that can trick his ass back!!! not even lavellan can convince him to stop in the final cutscene. it's so cathartic to play as someone who can trick the trickster! that, i think, is what i ultimately meant about "authenticity" existing in this... rival-thing rook and he has going on.

i've been trying to figure out if i'm insane (or just deliciously gaslighted) for thinking solas has way more chemistry with rook than with lavellan??? @solasmancers do not come for me !! i am simply touting, politely, that i as a player fundamentally did not and could not understand how others thought solas was in any way, shape, or form, integrous to lavellan when a BAT-SHIT crazy power dynamic incessantly undermined (and ultimately, as far as dai is concerned, destroyed) their bond. it's more than "he is stronger and wiser than her due to various but mysterious reasons"—it is, at worst, a god-king versus their culturally-subjugated constituent (about two thousand times removed, i guess, but still).

like

even though more than half of the dialogue wheel options in veilguard encourage some form of mockery or criticism to solas when conversing with him in the fade prison, i just felt a tension that, for me, didn't exist between him and lavellan in inquisition—a tension, AND, a potential for authentic connection between him and rook. in a lot of cases, where there is sincerity there can also be something more, and i'm just so interested in exploring that in fandom art/discourse tbh.

the idea of solas, exposed for who and what he is (whatever that is to ur rook), and then rook, who may not be as strong as he, but who deadass (even if unintentionally) locked him the fuck up and is like, "help me or i swear to SHIT",,,, before having a half-dozen other convos where u can just straight up compliment each other, only for solas to repeatedly backstab rook until it all comes to a head at the end??? SUBLIME

[lillotte17]

I posted 721 times in 2022

That's 147 more posts than 2021!

92 posts created (13%)

629 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lillotte17

@miss-grey

@keturagh

@hawkeshep

@cl0udb3rry

I tagged 661 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

#pretties! - 231 posts

#solas - 69 posts

#solavellan - 57 posts

#lavellan - 47 posts

#rambles - 45 posts

#dragon age - 23 posts

#artwork - 17 posts

#smooches - 17 posts

#dragon age inquistion - 15 posts

#aili lavellan - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#ace so i wouldn't bang any of them but all my lavellan boys are hot and fun and i might have a tiny crush on juniper arley

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Time for another round of: Lotte Thinks Too Hard About Elvhen!

So, I've been standing around in the Exalted Plains for days trying to get all the dialogue I want to trigger to happen (while working on commission stuff. It's weirdly soothing. Like those background nature sound tapes, except every now and then there's NPCs chatting or a wolf attacking you.)

Anyway, we get to that talk between Solas and Sera where she makes the comment about "who wants to think about stepping on dead elves?"

Solas mutters in reply, sounding extremely angry/upset: Din elvhen emma him?

And I swear I thought I had read a translation for that on the wiki somewhere? But it said the meaning was unknown. So, I was trying to work it out myself.

Din- death or end or ending

Elvhen- elves (duh)

Emma- doesn't have a solid translation anywhere, but seems to be possessive. 'Your' or 'our' depending on context. Possibly even 'my', since I'm pretty sure 'Emma lath' was 'my love'?

Him- make/making

He sounded so upset, I thought he was saying some kind of insult/threat aimed at Sera. I'm pretty sure the translation I read before was like, "I'll make you a dead elf." (which in retrospect is not his MO at all. Even when he's furious with other companions, he never threatens to hurt them physically.)

I'm pretty sure the loose translation is actually more like:

"Dead elves of my own making?"

As in "How could I not think about them every place we go, when it's my fault that all of them died?"

And just...oh buddy. 🥺

95 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#4

See the full post

100 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#3

*sits down across the table from you and leans across real far *

You know, I love DAI. It is possibly my fave comfort game. Top tear. Very replayable. Lose myself for hours in the Hinterlands fighting bears and have a grand old time.

But the inconsistency with Lavellan and their understanding of Elvhen drives me bonkers.

Like, I get that Ancient Elvhen and Modern Elvhen have to be different. It's impossible for them not to be. Even the Elvhen spoken in the Dales would be different from Ancient Elvhen, because hundreds of years + slavery. Lavellan admits during Trespasser that Dalish cannot read Ancient Elvhen.

It makes sense that Solas can understand Modern Elvhen, because he apparently took the time to learn Qunlat at some point, so one would assume that a language derived from your native tongue would be easier. But it does not make sense that Lavellan swings back and forth between understanding Elvhen perfectly and not having a single clue what he's saying at all.

Lavellan understands the entire conversation he has with Wisdom before it dies. And one would assume it was not speaking Modern Elvhen for the sake of the other people there besides Solas, because it could have just as easily chosen to speak Common.

But later, Lavellan does not seem to understand what he and the Nightmare are saying to each other at all. Likewise, they don't seem to notice the discrepancies between what Solas tells Abelas and what Solas says he told Abelas. And they don't understand the random bits of Elvhen he throws at Sera either.

Like, I dunno about you, but if we were just walking along and my buddy just randomly said that he was responsible for all of the dead elves in Thedas...I think I'd pull over for a bit of a chat, yeah??

The Dalish honestly get so little credit for what they have managed to preserve from almost nothing, tbh. It makes sense that Lavellan wouldn't understand everything Solas says in Ancient Elvhen, but they should almost definitely understand more than a single conversation. At the very least, they should be able to know when he's switching to Ancient Elvhen instead of the modern form the Dalish use. And that by itself should be suspicious af.

(and they should absolutely know more than fucking Morrigan, but that's a whole other kettle of fish)

126 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#2

See the full post

261 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I am definitely half asleep, which should tell you about the quality level of this post straight out the gate, but i was going through my old saves and watching the romance scenes for my different PTs (as one does) and like...

Everyone else has this slow build up to the Love end of things. Some of them don't even get there until Trespasser (looking @ you Dorian- yes yes he feels it but he doesn't say it.) And that's not a complaint! That's normal! You start with affection and attraction and see where it goes, and lbr all of the DA companions have some...Things to work through before nailing down Big Feelings.

And then we have Solas.

One kiss. One (1) singular kiss, and that man is gone. Lost. Sunk. Out to sea. Lost in the Sauce. Flung into the depths.

And I would argue that he's actually gone before that, but that's when he knows it. And he freaks out because 'oh no oh no this is literally the absolute WORST timing for this to happen holy SHIT.'

And he tries to fight it off, or figure out if there is some like...magical mark-induced reason for why he's absolutely banana-grahams for this mortal woman he has only known the tiniest fraction of his impossibly long life, but there isn't one except that he's lonely as fuck and her genuine awesomeness is just apparently the kryptonite to his rational thinking power.

This man, who is so so careful with the way he says everything always just... Once he caves, it is his first admission. In his native tongue, no less, as though he cannot help himself.

I cannot lose you. I love you. You are my heart. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Back in ye olden fandom days, there was a whole bunch of fights about the sincerity of Solas' affections, since he 'lies' and dumps you, but like...things are a mess because this whole-ass man is a mess and he doesn't do anything that is NOT a mess, but just...fucking hell. He has loved her for so long. He doesn't strike me as love-at-first-sight kinda guy, but like I'm giving him like...a month at Haven tops before he's a goner.

Solas is the one who falls first and hardest out of all of them.

552 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[pikapeppa]

Hi! I just want to say how helpful your smut tips are! I’m still new to all of that, but I want to know. Do you know how to write going down smut? And like fingering? (Ughhh it’s so awkward to ask😂)

I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY DELAYED REPLY NONNY! But don’t worry about being awkward, That’s what anon asks are for! 😂

A very tiny tutorial on writing fingering and oral sex

Honestly, I approach the writing of all sex acts with the same general guidelines in mind, which I’ve broken down in more detail in this post. When it comes to fingering and oral specifically, though, the thing I pay special attention to is probably the word choices I use in describing these acts. Personally, the words or phrasings I use depend on two main things: 

personal preference — in other words, I use phrases that turn ME on, and

what’s in-character for the people involved in your sex act. 

I’ll talk a little more about these two things below the cut!

Personal preference: writing what turns you on

This is pretty much the #1 rule I follow when I’m writing any smut: I write it in a way that I personally enjoy reading it. 

I know that might sound obvious, but different people focus on different things when they write smut. Some focus on the down-and-dirty body positions, some people write it in an indirect way that focuses on feelings while having you infer the bodily acts, and some people do a combination of both. Figure out what you like to focus on when reading it, and write what like to read.

Similarly, the particular word use and phrasings that people use depends on their style of smut and personal preferences. For instance, I never use the word ‘cunt’ because in North America, it’s a really vile-sounding word, but I know a lot of people who feel that way about the word ‘pussy’, which I personally prefer to use. You may also prefer to avoid direct references to anatomy entirely, using euphemisms like ‘her slickness’ or ‘her fragrant heat’ instead when you’re talking about a vagina. 

Overall, when you’re thinking of how to describe the acts of fingering and oral, think about the phrases you’ve enjoyed when reading these acts, and use phrasings that turn you on. In a nutshell, write what sounds good to you. 

Writing in-character for the people involved

As well as using phrases that I personally like, I always try to use language and phrasing that’s consistent with the POV of the character who is “narrating” the sex act. As an example, I’m going to consider @schoute’s boys, Cullen Rutherford and Raleigh Samson from Dragon Age, since they’re VERY different in the smut I’ve written for them. 😂 

Let’s consider Cullen. He’s got good manners, is very gentlemanly, the romance is a sweet slow burn and doesn’t jump straight into the lusty stuff. And YES, Cullen can be an assertive lion in the sack, but that’s not generally his default persona in the canon romance scenes. 

Given all of this, we headcanon that Cullen NEVER says the word ‘cock’ because it’s too vulgar and his momma raised him right, LOL. So in all of the smut I’ve ever written for him, he never thinks or says the word ‘cock’ — or if he does, it’s like. Once in blue moon when he’s been goaded into a dominant mood. I also never use the word ‘pussy’ when writing Cullen smut because it feels too vulgar for Cullen, and even when Cullen is in his most horny moods, his sex is always very tender. 

An example line from some Cullen/Piper Lavellan smut:

Cullen’s manhood throbbed in response to her pleasured sounds. He lifted his hips by instinct, but Piper’s hips were still moving and pressing her swollen nub toward his tongue, and Cullen forced himself to focus on the sharpness of her breathing and her secret scent as she rocked herself toward his mouth.

Please note the lack of cock, pussy, or fuck in this sequence. 😂

Samson, on the other hand: OKAY, THIS IS ENTIRELY ME AND SCHOUTE’S HEADCANONS since there is no canon romance, but we imagine him to be a lot less genteel, a lot more vulgar from his years scraping by in Lowtown. He can be quite dirty, and in our fic for Samson and Roman Hawke, he basically matches her hard-and-furious style of fucking, so his smut is liberally sprinkled with all the bad words: fuck, cock, pussy, all of it. An example line from a chapter of Samson/Roman smut: 

He tipped her chin back. “I’ll bury my face in your pussy and lick you until you’re begging me to fuck you,” he growled.

Please note the very obvious presence of pussy and fuck in this one single line. 😂😂😂 

And there you have it! A very short mini-tutorial on writing fingering and oral sex. In a nutshell, I try to pay special attention to the way I phrase and describe these acts, and I write them in a way that a) turns me on and b) is consistent with the POV of the character who is “narrating” the scene. And really, if you still aren’t sure how to write these acts, my advice would be to read more of them! Read more examples of oral sex and fingering to figure out what you like when reading it, and use these examples as inspiration for yourself (without plagiarizing, of course). 

Feel free to reach out if you have more questions! 

- Love, from your friendly neighbourhood Pikapeppa xoxo

[madameoni]

An altar for Sylaise

I wrote another small fic lol

Character development isn't something I consider myself strong, but I wanted to expand on how Cassandra learns to understand Elaar and love him fully -as a mage and a dalish elf- with some scenes.

As always- English isn't my first language and I don't write often. So typos and poor grammar for sure!

Elaar Lavellan (Male) x Cassandra Pentaghast

The wind felt both cold and dry against the exposed skin of his face, but he was starting to get used to it. At the very least, today he was wearing appropriate clothing- the warm boots were a nice protection against the snow. For a mage whose affinity was ice, he certainly didn’t enjoy the direct contact with snow for large periods of time.

Truth be told, his current location was far from ideal. He had done the best to sneak past Skyhold’s guards –which wasn’t hard, considering how overworked everyone was– and traveled a long enough distance through the mountain to find a small patch of earth that wasn’t completely covered in snow. He took a look around- maybe when spring comes, it would look a little greener. If he was lucky, he would live enough to see it.

With a heavy sigh, he brought his attention back to the small statue in front of him. It was Sylaise, made in wood, because he couldn’t get his hands into one craved out of stone. It was a rather crude version of the one in his clan; but his craving wasn’t the best and he wasn’t going to pretend he inherited any of his father’s skills. He remembered the old man in Redcliffe, maybe he could ask him about getting one made of stone. He knew the best way was simply approaching the local Clan, but the idea of showing up to their place with the Inquisition’s banner made his skin crawl.

He needed to sort his feelings out he thought, while arranging a few candles around the statue, for he now was the literal face of this organization. He felt both pride and horror of being put as the center of an organization so clearly based on human’s faith. He didn’t have much options, the mark was right there on his hand and apparently he had already been bossing people around enough for them to decide he might as well sit on the throne. But he felt it was too much and not enough at the same time.

He was important now, because the mark made him so- but he was still a mage, a dalish elf, and the nervousness wasn’t going to go away just like that. How long, until he was disposable again. How much could he do, until he was pushed away.

At the same time, he could see the opportunity. While turning the candles on with a small flick of his magic, he took note of all the changes he could make, if he set his foot hard enough while he had the power of the mark to keep them at line.

He wasn’t a herald of any human god, but he couldn’t help feel deep in his chest that maybe his gods, the Creators, had given him this chance.

And suddenly, the idea was terrifying.

He heard the footsteps before the voice came- heavy, armored and pretty recognizable.

— Inquisitor? —her voice, her accent, was such a delight to hear. But not in the middle of the mountains, let alone caught in front of an altar. He took a deep breath- time to bullshit your way out of this. He had to, he felt like he had to.

— Lady Cassandra — he turned to look at her with a dashing smile- fancy a walk around the mountain?

She groaned in response, a regular reaction so he relaxed.

—Josephine has been looking for you for what feels like hours. One scout said they saw you leave alone, carrying something. — She explained, while wrapping her arms around her body to warm herself up. Her voice was calm, and she seemed more confused than upset.

— You can’t escape Leliana’s little birds, can you? — He said with a soft laugh. He wanted to hit himself for thinking that no one was actually watching. — Just a little trip, I’m sorry it took so long. — He made a pause, and put his best smile. — Or where you still worried that I’ll run away?

His stupid smile must have hidden how real his concern was, because Cassandra rolled her eyes with amusement.

— I’ve seen you deal with snow; I have no fear of you escaping Skyhold by foot. — She said with a smile. Now they’re joking, great. He can work with that.

—I’m wounded. Ice magic is my thing, and snow is… loose ice. — that actually took a light snort out of the Seeker.

—And yet you get buried in it so easily. I can’t believe you made out of that mountain alive.

In his defense, he wasn’t used to walk around in snow. He got himself stuck a shameful amount of times during the travel to Skyhold, even when he was supposed to be the one guiding the people. At one point, Bull even suggested to carry him over his shoulders. The only explanation he had to his escape of the falling mountain before that was sheer survival desperation.

—Trust me, I agree. — He answered while grimacing at the memory. He was more resistant to cold than most, but that doesn’t mean he enjoyed wandering for hours in some snowy mountains at night.

Cassandra smiled and then looked over his shoulder, spotting the small altar with the lit candles. Elaar can feel himself wince as she rises one beautiful eyebrow in question.

— You came all the way down here for this small altar? Was this here before? — her tone seemed to indicate genuine curiosity, so Elaar took a deep breath and put his best relaxed mask on.

—I did. I made it. — He turns to arrange the flowers for the tenth time, to hide his anxiousness. He can’t help but add; — Am I getting arrested for blasphemy?

Cassandra seems to miss the edge of nervousness in his question, so she simply scoffs.

—Don’t be ridiculous, if we start with that, then more than half of the inquisition would be in prison.

He simply lets go of a small chuckle and decides to focus entirely in re-arranging the flowers. He fixes them according to size and color, making quite the lovely display. He can feel Cassandra observe him, taking only a few steps to take a better look over his shoulder. He smiles to himself, takes a ceramic plate from his bag and places it in front of the statue.

-You can ask, you know. I can’t say no to a lovely lady.

He only looks at her from the corner of the eye, and catches her tensing up as a blush colors her cheeks. It could be easily blamed in the cold, but he had noticed how easy it was to make her blush sometimes. She still remains pretty interested in what he is doing. After a little bit of fidgeting with herself, she speaks;

—Is it for one of the elven Gods? Here in the middle of the mountain?

—Yes. It’s for Sylaise, protector of the home. — He carefully reaches out to put out a few small apples from his bag— I mean, the keeper would probably kick my ass for putting her here in the middle of a frozen mountain, but I do what I can.

His tone remained upbeat as usual, but carried some hurt. Cassandra felt it, and didn’t know how to answer. She hadn’t had any conversations with him about his beliefs after their first argument ended pretty badly, only overheard him speak with other people about it. She realized that she was completely clueless about this aspect of him.

— You don’t speak about this often… You said you didn’t believe in the Maker, and I’ve never seen you pray so… —- She started to speak, but he was quick to answer before she could drag more words around.

— So you assumed I didn’t believe in anything? I did tell you back in Heaven that I believe in my Gods, didn’t I? — The reminder of their last argument made Cassandra feel defensive all of sudden. — They’re quite enough for me. But I guess I don’t speak as often about them as a regular andrastrian goes about their maker. —His voice took a small turn, it wasn’t quite the same he used to give orders, but closer to the one he used to give explanations he clearly wasn’t enjoying doing. He continued before she could complain, his tone calm but firm;

— Can’t blame me when the Chantry turned our beliefs into crimes. I’m not here to talk about religion to anyone, Creators forbid I don’t have time for that. But I do believe. — His tone was firm, and Cassandra finally realised how wrong she actually was, rendering her speachless for a moment. He continued, this time with a softer tone;

—Maybe you think that I was sent by your Maker, and I believe I was protected by Mythal. I have faith, in my own things. Maybe that is all that matters.

The silence between them grew heavier. Cassandra averted her gaze into the endless white snow. She felt conflicted. She felt like she misjudged, again. And it hurt deeply to realize it. He was a faithful man, and she was far too quick to assume he wasn’t- because the faith he possessed was placed into something else, and he had to travel through the snowy mountains only to find a place of worship, because he felt like he couldn’t do it in the very organization he was leading. She felt ashamed.

Elaar didn’t push it, turning back to continue working on the altar. He carefully placed the apples onto the ceramic plate in front of the statue. Cassandra bit her lip. How blind is she? How many things is she being shortsighted about? For someone who spoke about change, she felt the weight of her own lack of understanding. But she couldn’t remain paralyzed, she had to do something. She didn’t know what change must be done, but it had to be done. She took a deep breath;

—The Chantry saved my life. Faith saved my life. If someone tried to remove it from me, I would be crushed. You have sacrificed a lot for us, and you continue to sacrifice yourself for us. I do believe you were sent by the Maker, and because of that I think… it isn’t fair that you have to sneak around to honor your people.

Elaar turns to look back at her, surprise clearly painted on his beautiful features. He blinked a few times, but didn’t speak. Cassandra felt uneasy, still ashamed, and wanted to fidget like a child under scrutiny. But it wasn’t place for that, she needed to get her point across, so she continued while trying to keep eye contact with him.

—There is a lot that the Chantry has done wrong, there is a lot that its done wrong to your people in particular, and its current state there is no moral ground to stand from where it can judge anyone’s beliefs. —She almost needed to remind herself that there was no moral ground for judgement from her side. So much wrong has been done. She continued, albeit a bit doubtful of her choice of words —There is a lot that I don’t understand but… as long as we deny and repeat the mistakes we made, we won’t be able to change. You have been most understanding, even I admit I could never have done the same in your place.

She felt a weight lift from her tense shoulders as he smiled, and then chuckled a bit while slowly shaking his head. In that moment, her heart was filled with the intense need to understand this man, to know more of him. To see those genuine moments.

—Oh, I would love to see you being called Andruil’s Herald by a bunch of elves. That would be a show. — He jokes, his tone back to his usual warm. The right kind, the kind that felt real. She felt her cheeks warm up more than they should.

—You’re a very patient, yet infuriating man. — her comment makes him laugh even more.

—And charming! Don’t forget that. — he adds with a dashing smile and a wink.

She can’t help but grunt and roll her eyes. He was right.

There was a small pause after he stopped laughing. He looked back at her with calm;

—I appreciate it, Cassandra. I don’t wish for you to think that my faith means I’m against yours. I admire your faith, I would like to be able to stand like that, for mine. If you honestly see the mistakes of the Chantry and wish to make it better, that is noble.

She can feel herself blush again; the cold was getting to her.

—Most people would think I’m just too stubborn. — she adds, trying to look at anywhere except his face, that was turning far too handsome the more she looked at it.

—It has its charm.

She had to completely turn away to hide the blush, making him start laughing again. She starts to walk, but stops and speaks over her shoulder.

—Take your time while you can, but we should leave soon before the advisors send a search party.

With that, she continued to walk. Elaar looked at her back smiling softly, he could feel the tips of his ears warmer than before. Finally, turned back to the altar to do his prayers.

-

The small encounter has been filling his thoughts all week. He finds himself looking at Cassandra more often, and notices how she seems to be more interested in asking him about his habits. He can feel it doesn’t come from a place of scrutiny, he had been there before, she seems to be curious.

He knows the feel that is growing inside him, it scares him. He is starting to feel attraction towards her- and there is so much to unpack about it. The conversation they shared on the mountain gave him hope, it was an improvement from the first time they spoke about his beliefs. Part of him wanted to be hopeful, life was dark around him. He wasn’t even sure he will survive long enough to care, why don’t feed this small joy? It felt warm.

He was lost in his own mind when he ended up in the gardens. It needed a lot of work to be called a proper garden yet, but the people were doing amazing with what they had.

He overheard some whispering, and turn to look at some Chantry sisters that quickly stopped and greeted him. There was a small chapel nearby, right? The garden was where most of the Chantry people gathered around, guiding their people, hopefully. Elaar greeted them back and turned around to see what had caught the attention of the sisters, and he couldn’t help but rise one of his non-existent eyebrows.

A small group of agents, all of them Dalish elves, where gathered around of what it looked like a small elven altar. How he didn’t notice them earlier was proof that his mind was wandering a bit too much. More important than that, they were arguing among them. Quite a lot. Elaar could feel the headache rise, and he took a deep breath before approaching with a calm smile.

The closer he got, the stranger the situation it turned.

—This is too big.

—It’s too small! Why the shems get to make big statues and us not!

—More important, my clan would never put these kind of flowers here.

—This is how we do it in my clan, and we are from the Free Marches like Lavellan, so suck it up.

—Okay, okay, lethallen. What is all this ruckus about? —Elaar interrupted quickly.

All of them turned around with various degrees of embarrassment, while greeting him with a few loud “Inquisitor!”. He could recognize them from around the camp, a few of them joined not long ago. An older arcane warrior nodded to start speaking first, Elaar had asked him for some guidance in training the past week. A formidable and calm man;

—Sister Nightingale asked some of our Dalish agents to set up an altar in the gardens, so our people could honor our Gods and reaffirm the Inquisition’s position of acceptance of everyone. — He looks around at the others. — The young ones have opinions.

Quickly, a chorus of “It’s too small!” and “It’s the perfect size!” started between a few young hunters. Elaar shakes his head confused, they stop yelling at each other while he leans closer to them.

—Leliana said that?

Everybody nods. One of the young hunters gets ahead and speaks excitedly;

—This area of the gardens is tended mostly by elves, so there will be no disturbance! We will protect the altar and we won’t leave any she… human cause disturbances between our people.

The older warrior nods solemnly.

—You can pray too, Inquisitor.

Elaar takes a deep breath. It was a lot to take in, but first thing first.

—Thank you, hahren. Thank you, everyone. I trust your work… Now, every clan does things slightly different; so we aren’t going to be fighting among ourselves, alright?

-

After a lot of talking, breaking arguments and going around, nighttime was close. Elaar decided to postpone asking Leliana about this, so far nothing screamed chaos. He stopped by the gardens; now a lovely altar was there, covered in pretty much every flower and fruit available in Skyhold. Only half a day; people were clearly delighted to have their own place of worship.

He took a small walk around, greeting the guards confirming that they where in fact elves. He felt relieved and decided to walk back to the altar to make a little prayer. He had to thank the Creators for this small joy.

After finishing, he remained on his knees looking at the candlelight in awe. The mountain fell a bit warmer today, he thought. Then, the sound of a door opening behind him makes him look around. It was Cassandra leaving the small chapel, she stops mid movement. Elaar couldn’t help but smile warmly, and he could swear she was blushing now. He felt his own cheeks color up.

Cassandra made an effort not to fidget, and walks up to where he is sitting. He follows her with this gaze, a soft smile turning a little more playful as she approaches.

—I suspect that you had some influence in this, or should I be afraid that Leliana can hear us talk in the middle of the mountains?

She averts her gaze slightly.

—I did bring up the reason of your trip. Leliana suggested the solution… she believes she can control any possible tensions. It seemed like a sensitive approach.

She wasn’t going to go into detail, about she voiced her concerns for the Inquisitor’s wellbeing and his rights to have a place to pray, while still being at loss at how avoid tensions and possible conflicts between the people. Leliana knew her well, listened to her ranting and reassured her something could be done. Change never was peaceful, but needed to be done. Admitting that she didn't had the subtlety to think of how to bring it to life was a hard pill to swallow, but if it meant that Elaar felt more at home, she needed to look for help.

—I won’t lie, I’m concerned. But I trust Leliana. And this is lovely. — he said, looking at the offerings illuminated by the soft candlelight. Cassandra too was surprised by the calm and beautiful atmosphere.

But with that, she couldn’t help but feel her heartbeat quicken a little bit with the sight of Elaar’s profile under the warm light. He looked at peace. She wanted him to look like this always. She needed to distract herself;

—It’s… It’s normal to have so many…? — she wasn’t even sure how to ask. Elaar laughed.

—No, but every clan offers different things. It really shows how the people in Skyhold are really from all parts of Thedas, doesn’t it?

There was so much to learn, so many mistakes to face and wounds to heal. But tonight, they felt like it was possible. To nurture themselves, work for the change they wanted in the world while learning about each other.

Because more than anything, Cassandra wanted to see that warm smile every day.

❤❤❤❤

I love Cassandra for what she could have been- had the writing actually turned her intentions into actions. She is the character that more questions herself, and yet stays there... and you can't even argue with her much. When only with a little arguing it would be improved!

Being a Dragon Age fan means looking at all the potential and go live in headcanon-land. And I love this games with all my heart. But I love these two more, so I want them to actually communicate and have a healthy relationship!

Hope someone enjoys it, reading the reactions of people to the other one truly warmed my heart ;;

The writing might be a bit off by the end- I've been awake for nearly 24hs lol

[siennadraws]

@dreadfutures had a open tag so I jumped in on the bandwagon 🙈

I'm tagging @shift-shaping @vvakarians @tireddemigod @vakarians-girl @vronism and @screeeeam (and whoever wants to do this!)

THE BASICS:

Character’s name: Terys Deshanna Lavellan

Role in story: The Inquisitor, and later the Ex Inquisitor.

Physical description: (I'm copying this from the 30 day DA challenge djddk but:)

Terys is lean and fit, of average height for an elf (1.47m or 4ft 9.8in) with tanned skin with a warm undertone.

Her eyes are a cool green and with a monolid and upturned, her hair is brown, with an undercut and a thin braid on her right side and her face is square. Her eyebrows are downturned, giving her an apparent frown and she has Dirthamen's Vallaslin in black.

She has a large nose, with a deep bridge and a large bump, her ears are pierced. Terys also has a lot of scars, several on her face from the Conclave Explosion.

Age: 25 at the start of Inquisition

MBTI/Enneagram Personality Type: ENFJ and 8w9

INTERNAL LIFE:

What is their greatest fear? Being alone, metaphorically or literally. Especially if that loneliness is something out of her control.

Inner motivation: Protection. Whether it is protecting her clan and loved ones, or vulnerable people.

Kryptonite: Loss of identity

What is their misbelief about the world? She thinks that she can change anyone's mind with proper arguments. Some people just don't want to change their minds, which is very bleak.

Lesson they need to learn: She needs to learn that she doesn't need to be useful to repay for love. The love she receives is freely given.

What is the best thing in their life? Her loved ones, her clan and family, and their love.

What is the worst thing in their life? All the violence and apocalypses she had to face off.

What do they most often look down on people for? Lack of flexibility in their preconceived beliefs, she can understand why someone can have prejudices, but they need to immediately drop them if they should know better.

What makes his/her/their heart feel alive? Working with animals, like halla and horses, and learning things!

What makes them feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way? Physical affection, especially when it's casual. Solas, her sister and later, when she moves into Dorian's, to save the world once again, Dorian and Maeve!

Top three things they value most in life? Her loved ones, her people's traditions and religion, people trying their best.

EXTERNAL LIFE:

Is there an object they can’t bear to part with and why? She's practical when it comes to things like this. But the objects she'd be more sad parting with would be her scarves and daggers.

Describe a typical outfit for them from top to bottom. She has dalish earrings on, gold with a lot of details in filigree and a gold beaded choker. She also typically has a green scarf wrapped around her neck, made of halla wool and wears a white shirt, with blue dalish embroidery. Terys also has a green sash tied around her waist and wears pants. She has bare feet.

What names or nicknames have they been called throughout their life? The typical da'len by hahren and her mothers, da'mi by her family once she started training as a hunter and Greeny by Varric.

What is their method of manipulation? Terys tries to sell an idea by selling its usefulness to the person.

Describe their daily routine. Once she wakes up, she says her morning blessings, stretches & freshens up, goes eat breakfast with whoever is awake (she wakes up very early). Then she goes work on whatever and takes her lunches with her people. She takes her baths at night and eats dinner afterwards with her loved ones, normally in her bedroom, reads a bit and goes to sleep early-ish.

Their go-to cure for a bad day? Meditation and painting! And chocolate or baking with her loved ones.

GOALS:

How are they dissatisfied with their life? She's tired of having to fight to save the world.

What would bring them true happiness or contentment? The world being at peace, true peace, and being able to return to her clan, maybe even stop being a hunter to just help around, especially her Halla Keeper mother.

What definitive step could they take to turn their dream into a reality? Save the world, again djdjsk

How has their fear kept them from taking this action already? Well, this is somewhat out of her control. She could let go of her responsibility and enjoy the coming years before the world is potentially destroyed, but that'd be too selfish.

How do they feel they can accomplish their goal while still steering clear of the thing they are afraid of? She is going to redeem Solas, she won't sacrifice her family, her loved ones, for the world. She'll save both.

Blank meme under read more

THE BASICS:

Character’s name:

Role in story:

Physical description:

Age:

INTERNAL LIFE:

MBTI/Enneagram Personality Type:

What is their greatest fear?

Inner motivation:

What is their misbelief about the world?

Lesson they need to learn:

Kryptonite:

What is the best thing in their life?

What is the worst thing in their life?

What do they most often look down on people for?

What makes his/her/their heart feel alive?

What makes them feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way?

Top three things they value most in life?

EXTERNAL LIFE:

Is there an object they can’t bear to part with and why?

Describe a typical outfit for them from top to bottom.

What names or nicknames have they been called throughout their life?

Describe their daily routine.

What is their method of manipulation?

Their go-to cure for a bad day?

GOALS:

How are they dissatisfied with their life?

What would bring them true happiness or contentment?

What definitive step could they take to turn their dream into a reality?

How has their fear kept them from taking this action already?

How do they feel they can accomplish their goal while still steering clear of the thing they are afraid of?

[halla-hunts-the-wolf]

A short-story preview.

Set in a story where years down the line, Fen'harel has yet to destroy the Veil, but his plights are making all of Thedas weary of the modern elves.

Four Dalish elves band together to avenge a massacre. Will they inflict Justice or Vengeance on those responsible? And what secrets will they uncover along the way?

Warning: Violent acts & Character Death.

----

On the outskirts of Ansburg, a Dalish settlement had been destroyed. 

They had been camping beside the coast, where a river drained off from the ocean. 

They’d thought that the lack of freshwater would make the paths less favorable towards merchants or humans in general.  Their aravels had been pitched and their halla let loose to graze. 

They lasted three days. 

On the fourth day, when two cloaked riders closed in on where the Dalish were meant to be, the stench of death still remained, carrion birds harvested bodies, and a started fire had laid waste to everything.  

Blood ran the river red by the time the two riders reached the desolate camp.

Their movements became slow and they approached with caution; anticipating an ambush, but all they were met with was the silence that the massacre left behind. 

“Maker,” one of the riders mumbled, bringing his arm up to cover his nose.  “Who could have done this? Do you think it could’ve been Fen’harel?” 

“No,” the other rider says, his voice somber and distant. “No, these elves were not his enemies and they did not deserve his wrath.”  As he spoke, he would have abandoned his mount, an older Dracolisk, beside the river. Carrying on by foot, he would assess the carnage.  Bodies lay to waste around him, many of which were missing their pointed ears. It was sickening, deplorable, and a byproduct of fear.  “Even so, this act is unforgivable.” His voice would crack, overwhelmed by anger  and grief. “There are so few of our people left, and the only thing they have done is chosen not to take a side in this foolish war.” 

“The war that we are fighting.” 

“Yes, because even though it is foolish, it can not be ignored.  Not when innocent people are being slaughtered like this.” The second rider would crouch down, to close the eyes of an elf who was staring up at the sky. “Falon’Din enasal enaste.” 

“What are we going to do now, carry on to Tevinter?” 

“We are going to bury them, and find those responsible.” 

The first rider lets out an exasperated sigh. “Lavellan, we don’t have the time-” 

“- Then we make time.” 

The first rider says nothing more, hanging his head in silent compliance. 

They spend their evening in this way, gathering bodies and offering them final prayers. They didn’t have the means to do a proper ceremony, but they would do their best with heavy hearts.  

Nightfall had soon come and gone, and as a new dawn broke across the sky, the two men sat across from each other, swallowing down their rations despite lacking a proper appetite.  

“So you didn’t find your dalish contact amongst the dead?” The first rider would ask, his bright green eyes were growing red, as he fought the  need to sleep.  Only in his mid-twenties, and a recently freed slave of the Tevinter Imperium, he was not used to the constant traveling and combat he had to endure while shadowing the former Inquisitor.  He rubs at his face, hands running across his mutilated vallaslin.  The branches that spread over his cheeks had been cut into and burned by his former master, when he was only eighteen and freshly kidnapped from his own clan. “Perhaps he went after those responsible?” 

“No,” Lavellan would shake his head. “Ryland would have waited for us, had he still been alive and of his own free will.” The older elf  would be fiddling with a string around his neck. He clutched at the sending crystal as if it was his life line with one hand, while the other, a prosthetic, would be clutching a potion. “This group was made up of smaller dalish clans, ones that were left abandoned by their clanmates when they joined Solas. Ryland was traveling with them, to bring them to another encampment on the other side of Nevarra.” 

“That was very noble of him.” 

“Yes, and I’m the one who asked him to do it.” 

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened, and drink your potion.” 

Lavellan would stop fiddling with his necklace, taking to unscrewing the cork of the bottle in his hand. “If we had gotten here a day sooner Ma’hallian, we may have prevented this from happening entirely.”  He would down the bottle in one go, guzzling it’s dark purple liquid, looking as if he’d just bit into a lemon afterwards. “This thing could be a poison.” 

“A poison that keeps you from keeling over in pain.” Ma’hallian would remind him gently, before reaching out to take the empty bottle from the other man’s hands. “And we didn’t get here a day sooner, so we have to keep moving forward.” 

“We will, as soon as the person responsible is brought to justice.” 

The white-haired elf would lean forward, fixing the former Inquisitor with a narrowed gaze. 

The older elf was on the cusp of fifty, with silver streaks in his long chestnut hair and wrinkles overtaking his darkened skin.  These days, his hands shook whenever he lifted his sword, and his amber eyes always smoldered with conviction. “Is it justice you are after, or is it vengeance?”

“The two are not so different, when faced with a situation like this.” 

“We both know that they are.” 

Lavellan hated being shown up by his assistant, someone who could be so callous and shy towards the rest of the world. The boy had spent the majority of his life either in solitude or servitude and yet, he still managed to come out of it with a remarkable sense of responsibility and level headedness. 

“I-” He does not get a proper sentence out, as a distant sound causes his ears to twitch. Ma’hallian hears it too and they rise to their feet.  

Ma’hallian draws a dagger from his belt and Lavellan pulls free his sword from its sheath.  They approach the source of the noise with silent steps, until they are looming over the site of a destroyed aravel. It’s red fabric and splintered wood had made a heavy pile, and something dared to move beneath it. 

“Careful,” Lavellan murmurs, “it may be an abomination that’s risen.” 

Leering forward with one foot, the elf  would kick the debris away, his sword poised to strike down, but he would stop just short of skewering another elf. 

An elf also nearing his fifties, with deep red hair that was coated in soot and streaked with soft greys. His face, while well defined, was covered in laugh lines and scars alike. They danced along his vallaslin for Ghilan’nain, etched in blue to match his eyes.   This new elf stares up at them, as a cough rattles throughout his chest and past his lips.  “Well, hello your highness. I survived then? Unless you managed to finally kick the bucket too.” 

“No, Ry, you’re just that lucky.” Lavellan would put his sword away before holding out a hand, hauling his former partner from the aravel. Eyeing him wearily, in search of any wounds that could prove fatal. 

“Ah well, what can I say? The universe loves me.” Ryland dusts himself off, wincing as he does so, but seemingly unharmed save for a few aches, bruises, and perhaps a concussion after being crushed beneath one of their landships. “How bad is it?” 

“You’re the only survivor.”

 The red-head takes in a sharp breath. “That can’t be right. Where are the bodies?” 

They take him to the people who they had wrapped or covered, ready to be buried, as time permitted them.  He looks them over, with blue eyes watering, before he shakes his head.  “There were younger elves here, children, and a mage. None of them are with the dead.” 

“Perhaps they perished in the fire that ravaged the camp?” Ma’hallain offers, supervising Ryland as Lavellan wanders off to their mounts. “Or animals picked off their remains?” 

“You are  a grim young man, Ma’hallain, but no. The only scavengers in this area are the birds, and they wouldn’t be able to devour  a body within a day, let alone a dozen or so. The person responsible for the siege must have taken them.” 

“And who was responsible?” Lavellan had rejoined them, bringing a fresh pair of clothes to Ryland from his carry on.

“There’s a human settlement nearby, Ansburg? They’ve recently come into new leadership and the man appears to be terrified of us knife-ears.” Ryland would strip there, pulling his otherwise tattered shirt over his head and tossing it to the ground.  Lavellan would hand him the clean one and Ma’hallian would have the decency to look away as he took off his pants as well. “When the local militia arrived, I told them that we had no ties with Fen’Harel or the Qun. They said that they were under orders and at the end of the day, all elves were the same.” 

“Yet they would never claim that all humans are murderers, would they?” 

“Fear is bred by ignorance, highness. They’ll get what’s coming for them.” 

Lavellan would grumble, “Did you at least scout Ansburg when you first made camp?” 

“Course I did, seemed like a normal shemlen village. Smelt of rotten fish and wet dog. There weren’t any elves, but I didn’t find that odd. There aren’t many flat ears left in the smaller settlements.”  

“Did you find where this new leader lived?” 

“It was the first thing on my list, but something seemed off about it. The whole village was sort of dreary, but his estate was shimmery, almost. Like the stones were reflecting the light.” 

Ma’hallian snaps back to attention, his ears drooping just so. “That sounds like warding, and a very obvious one.  I bet he is using it to scare others away, people do that in the Magisterium. Either to scare the already fearful, or to make a spectacle out of something valuable.” 

“So we’ll need a mage?” Lavellans asks. 

“Unless warriors suddenly know how to dispel things? Rogues most certainly do not.” 

“Oh,” Ryland would croon, “Do you know what it sounds like to me? It sounds like a call to Dorian. Tell him I said hello, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to know that I survived.” 

Rolling his eyes, Lavellan would turn away from the other men. Knowing that Ma’hallian was glib due to his many years living in darkness and Ryland was only using humor to cope with the carnage around them. 

[blarrghe]

Wip Wednesday

thanks @morganlefaye79 for taggin me! This is something I’ve had ready to shove into Twelve Nights for a while now, and it’s a little heavy-handed but I also think it’s maybe the most important point this (ultimately very fluffy) story makes, and preachy DA character therapizing is pretty on brand for me at this point. So CW for discussions of trauma and addiction, because I aint about to romanticize that shit lol if I introduce a character with a somewhat tropey substance problem we go there. Anyway this is an incredibly long snippet but if you read nothing else from this particular fic, I think you should read this.

Under a cut -- alcoholism/addiction, the ways conversion therapy fucks a person up.

tagging the btv folks: @kita-lavellan | @silvanils | @noire-pandora | @ellie-effie | @musetta3 | @jarakrisafis | @moonlightheretic | @kittynomsdeplume | @inquisitoracorn | @dismalzelenka | @drag-on-age

as well as some mutuals if y’all wanna: @midnightprelude @aymayzing @fandomn00blr @protect-him @barbex I love seeing your wips :)

"Hey," Taren spoke slowly, concern crossing his brows like it did sometimes, when he looked at him, "I don't know how to ask this, but," a very loud voice in the back of Dorian's head told him to shout “so don't!”. He managed to restrain it. Taren shifted his weight and played with his lackluster hair while he figured out how to ask the thing that Dorian already knew he was worried about. "Is this okay?" 

"You mean, am I okay." Dorian corrected, as he took a sip of the whiskey. It was delicious. Everything was delicious; stupidly wonderful and probably a dream, and they needn’t talk about things that weren’t. 

Taren nodded, the concern still swimming in his gaze. "You don't have a…" 

"A problem," Dorian supplied, finishing the thought for him while Taren swallowed, "with alcohol." 

"Sera said you were in rehab." Taren was apologetic again, looking away with his hand back in his hair. Dorian laughed, because he couldn't help himself, but it just made the concern in Taren's brows deepen. He attempted to reign it in. He supposed he would just have to do this conversation Taren's way: honest. 

"I was. Several times actually, but my problem's never been with alcohol." He picked a few more things off the cart while he spoke — apricot brandy, gin, and vermouth — pouring them in careful measure into a tall, stainless steel cocktail shaker. "It's with attention." He winked. Just because the conversation had to be honest didn't mean he had to give up all his charms. "You see, I've made some very unhealthy, very loud, very irresponsible cries for it. In response to which my parents usually tried to throw me into someplace expensive with nice clean white walls and scenic views, to fix me." 

He picked out a wonderfully green lime from the selection of citrus fruits in a little glass bowl on the cart and began rolling it against the cutting board. 

"They've spent an outrageous amount of money, trying to get other people to help me be normal." Taren was frowning at him, so he went on looking at the lime.

There was a small, silicone knife that matched the cutting board tucked into a special spot on the cart. He picked it up and sliced the lime in half, lengthwise, and gave its middle a little slit.

"Sometimes there would be a measure of religious fervour to go with: control your demons through strict routine and mind numbing repetition of verses! Doesn’t work, by the way, and anyone who says it does has more illicit secrets to keep than I do. But the quacks parroting fixes with pseudoscientific backing were the worst.” he shook his head, unable to contain a dark grimace from escaping at even this most casual retelling. “The last time though, I did actually learn something rather helpful." Taren came closer, and took a seat on the arm of the long leather couch closest to him, still watching Dorian with a careful frown as he told his story and sliced his lime. "There was this therapist, beautiful man," he looked up from the lime, catching Taren's frown and doing his best to counter it with a sly smile. "Understood right away what I was really in for —" he smiled at Taren again, dragging as much syrupy charm through the words as he possibly could, "that is, being attracted to men, not drugs or alcohol." Taren blushed, and satisfied, Dorian went back to fixing his drink, "we struck up a wonderful little friendship, or as much of one as therapists can have with the mad, I suppose." 

"Did you…" There was a hesitancy to Taren's speech that was different from the last, less concerned, and barbed with something. Was it jealousy? And if so, what did it say about him that he quite enjoyed it? 

"No." He said truthfully, "that would have been most unethical. I don't even think he was interested, if you can believe it. Didn't stop me from daydreaming of course — rehab is terribly boring. But no, nothing happened except talk. Therapeutic talk; he told me about rats." 

"Rats?" 

Dorian finished slicing one half of the lime into perfect little crescents, then squeezed out the other half into the shaker. "Lab rats with addictions to opiates." He clarified, "the Cage Theory of Addiction: give a rat a terrible little cage with a nice little lever that injects a drug straight into his little rat veins, and he'll keep pressing and pressing that lever until he dies." Taren looked upset; Dorian closed the shaker and screwed its cap tightly on, and continued, "the rat has a food lever too, but he ignores it, pressing and pressing for that magical buzz. More and more; more than he can handle. An addict." He picked out a short glass and swiped the rim of it with one of his slices of lime, then overturned it into a perfectly sized little vessel of sugar that was set out on the cart. "But, someone thought: let's do an experiment, and instead of just giving the rat a lever for food and a lever for the drug, they gave him a little rat city. With fun rat playgrounds and soft rat pillows and a few other nice rats to talk to. Guess what happened next." 

Taren just looked at him, not guessing. Dorian tutted and gave the shaker a dramatic spin, shook it, and then popped the lid back off to pour the concoction into the glass. "The little opiate-addicted rat got better. So comes the theory: the rat's problem wasn't the drugs; it was his cage." Taren nodded slowly, and Dorian left the drink cart to join him on the couch. He passed Taren the fresh cocktail with another sly smile, and took a seat. “I looked it up later; read the study myself because I am an insufferable know-it-all,” he went on, “and it turns out that my beautiful therapist had some of his facts wrong.” Now, Taren just looked confused, but if Dorian was going to be honest with him, he was going to be really honest. “No one’s replicated the findings — and it turns out the rats also started having little rat orgies, so that probably helped.” He laughed, though Taren still looked mostly confused. Dorian took a breath. “But, there was a truth there that no one had bothered to tell me before: sometimes the reason why is worse than the thing itself. Sometimes a change in thinking, a change of scenery…” he paused, “someone to talk to,” another pause, longer this time — he’d lost his will to make light of it, somewhere in there. “I’m not a bad person, I know that now.” he said, more quietly than he meant to, "but I live," he placed his glass of whiskey carefully down on the coffee table, and let himself look Taren in the eye, "in a very terrible little cage. And I've done things, things I'm not proud of, just to try to… escape." He shrugged, and picked up his drink again, "but these days, I've more or less settled in. Figured out how to be a productive little rat who doesn't take more than he can handle, usually." He took a sip of his drink, directing a hooded smoulder at Taren as he did, and downing most of it — getting drunk and doing it very much on purpose, "only rattling the bars on weekends, so to speak." 

[teaandinanity]

Uncommon character asks! For OC of your choice: 4, 8, 27, or 32 and E!

I am having so much trouble choosing. Maybe I'll make a table and make rng choose for me. Because if I do Everyone this will be just. SO long. I have in fact made a table. Why do I have so many OCs.

Also this is So Long anyway because even with RNG's assistance I couldn't limit myself reasonably and have instead done three characters per question. Since I am not a COMPLETE monster, this is going under a cut.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

For this one we got Ionavyr (SWtOR Agent), Ameneth Lavellan (DAI Inquisitor), and Valeriya (7KPP Widow).

Ionavyr thinks she is too trusting, in spite of the fact that I'm pretty sure she actually and truly trusts like. Three people. Most of the time her idea of 'trust' is actually just 'I am fairly sure I understand what makes this person tick and am confident in my ability to leverage that.' But also she was too nice a person for the job she had, so I'm glad I let her fuck off to raise a kid with one of the three people she trusts instead of hauling her through more main story campaign. She did not deserve that. Neither did Hylira but Hylira has Protagonist in her DNA so she gets it anyway.

Ameneth has a complicated relationship with trust, because she is an elf mage who wandered around Thedas alone. She tends to assume everyone who does not have pointed ears wants her dead or imprisoned or made tranquil, but she also wants to like people and would love to be wrong about those things. So like. She's curious and friendly even as she's scoping out escape routes in case things go south. And there are a lot more escape routes available when one rides around on a very devoted war hart, and she's entirely willing to smash someone upside the head with her staff or a convenient rock even if her magic gets blocked. So like, her general thing is 'I would love to trust you! Please prove yourself worth trusting and allow 6-8 months for me to relax.'

Valeriya thinks most people are selfish assholes and has spent a lot of time trying to be one herself because she thought it was necessary to her survival. This is why Lyon said he believed her and her response was that Persona 'this character will now die for you' meme. Honestly, though, she's a pretty darn good judge of character and when she encounters someone who strikes her as Genuinely Good she does tend to trust that, even if she's also like 'oh my god, stop it, you're vulnerable like that, how am I supposed to protect you if you paint targets on all your weak points????'

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

Hestrel Mahariel (DA), Tash'saarai (SWtOR Knight), Isonne (WoW Demon Hunter)

Hestrel was generally quiet and well-behaved in the way typical of traumatized kids who desperately want to avoid having people get mad at them. She had to be prompted to interact with other children up until she glommed on to Tamlen, whereupon she had to be told repeatedly to stop following him into trouble (and, sometimes, to stop taking blame for the trouble everyone knew had Not been her idea).

Asha's grandmother mostly told her to stop levitating the droids and upsetting the livestock.

Isonne was asked repeatedly to stop using her magic to torment her older brother. And to stop sewing the collars of his shirts together so he'd get stuck.

27. What causes them to feel dread?

Rowena Hawke (DA2), Valeriya (again, huh), Winter Caffrey (TWC)

Rowena is terrified of failing her family. So like. She has not been having a good few decades.

Valeriya panics at the sound of footsteps outside her door, or the creak of a stair. An empty pantry. A certain smile she once saw on the Queen of Revaire right before an acquaintance was found dead, and which she sometimes catches echoes of in Gisette's face. She's also afraid of public speaking but she thinks that's a very stupid fear when she has so many other things to be afraid of.

Winter feels very weak and breakable in the new world she's found herself in and it makes her want to kick evil in the shins hard enough to break her foot. She's always been quite confident in her ability to take care of herself and losing that scares her even if she pastes sarcasm and jokes over the top of it.

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

Thenali (PoE Watcher), Ameneth (again), Calanthia (7KPP Widow)

None of my characters have jokes because the only thing I am good at is puns.

Thenali (while in the Dyrwood) likes to tell stories about fish because she was raised in the Deadfire and pretty much everyone assumes she is making up ridiculous lies about dolphins and marlin and giant squid, but they totally believe her about the hydra.

Ameneth tends to listen more than she talks, but if she's around younger elves, she loves to get some genuine storytelling on; Alidda of Halamshiral is a favorite of hers.

Calanthia is very good at remembering gossip, so she'll usually try to tailor something to her audience - harmless stories about people her listener knows moderately well and will find amusing.

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I'm just gonna go with the crew who came up here:

Ionavyr and I would not have a clue what to do with each other. She's tired. She does not want to have to talk to strangers.

I'd find Ameneth fascinating but I don't think she'd have a whole lot of use for me.

Valeriya and I could conceivably get to that 'nice introvert hangout where neither party speaks for 2 hours' space if we gave it time, I think.

Hestrel and I getting along honestly depends where she is in her story, because for an awful lot of it she is desperately unhappy and needs a friend and also a hug. I would be happy to offer her a friend and also a hug, so that might work out.

Tash'saarai is a person-shaped golden retriever with kickass space wizard powers who would be entirely willing to yeet me across a field. We would get along like a house on fire, possibly with an equivalent amount of property damage and personal injury.

Isonne doesn't really do 'liking people' that much anymore.

Rowena, like Hestrel, needs a sympathetic ear and a hug, and she's a lot more inclined to accept both of those things.

Winter is a ridiculous person and I like her a lot, I would love to hang out with Winter and make stupid puns. She's inclined to like people in general. Honestly of everyone on this list I think she's the one I'd get along with best.

Thenali is a sweet creampuff, so while I'm not sure we'd have a lot to say to each other, I imagine the interaction would be pleasant enough.

Calanthia likes everyone, pretty much, and she's good at carrying the conversation. I would definitely not be her favorite person ever, but we'd get on fine.