#love it when people connect very 2 different show just bc a actor played a lead role on them

[zildpilled]

The glory and squid games if it was peak

[citadelofmythoughts]

I’m so SAD. And the thing is that Yes RT as a Company was not fair to many of its employees. But what the people who are cheering the ending of it don’t seem to grasp is that it was still a job. Being able to Leave a bad company is so different from no longer having a job at all bad or not. My mother recently went through the same thing and I’ve been very stressed about money and trying to figure out transport bc she’s my ride as I wait to get my license (disability issues catching up to me darn these eyes)

And then I haven’t seen it a lot thankfully but people who are happy with the idea of a rwby reboot? Taking out all the emotional connections we are NINE SEASONS into a story that when we left it was in its FINAL ARC. I don’t have a source so take this with a grain of salt but I swear I remember Miles or Kerry saying that rwby was pronouns a 12 volume show to get it to its end when someone asked how long it was gonna be. This was way way back so I apologize if this isn’t true or real. But even without that v9 left us with a clear Location and we had Goals and new lore to implement. If not three more volumes at lease two or a SUPWR long V10.

The idea of Starting Over makes no sense. There is nothing to reboot bc it’s not finished. Had we all the money and time in the world I could MAYBE see volumes 1 and 2 getting an update and polish, combining the short two part episodes into one and ADDING some team bonding stuff. But post V3 when all the bigger stuff hits the scene (not to mention all the lovely slowly building stuff from V1 and 2 that we see carried throughout) rebooting is Stupid. Bc we still wouldn’t have an ending. CRWBY through the ages knew where the story was going. They have an ending. They know the beats they want carried out. I can’t imagine any other voice actors for the girls OR REN FOR THAT MATTER MONTS VISION MY ASS HIS FUCKING BROTHER JUST LOST THE RIGHTS TO LITERALLY CARRY MONTY IN REN it makes me so mad. The idea that a company with enough money for WB to accept would turn it into some Flashy Fight Scenes and snappy one liner thing when rwby has always been about love and community and determination and spirit.

V4 felt different bc Monty was gone. Not because the show Fell Off. it has its slow parts like any show ever animated or otherwise. But the idea of someone else Taking it and Turning it into something else. Where’s Monty’s vision in that if the ppl close to him never get to touch his project again? The people who made rwby what it is being locked out of it and having to see someone else play their character or change completely the path it was on?

People lost their jobs on a days notice and a passion project that spanned ten years which had love for Monty in each and every volume might never get to be finished. Or worse will turn into something different completely. And that is why I’m sad.

I hate this timeline.

I have hope that things will work out but I have to admit that hope is thin.

[entityforged]

under the cut you will find a very long list of very specific plots/dynamics i want to write, organized by corresponding muse. if you're interested in any of them, you can reply below, dm me the plot you're interested in, or just like if you want me to message you first. there's technically no limit on these plots; i don't mind "repeating" plots bc they'll always be different depending on who i'm writing them with, so don't let that hold you back from an idea.

ash: — give me the hot straight boy (or not) from church that they had a crush on. give me the two of them meeting at a pride event, discussing their feelings on gender, sexuality, and religion. give me the rekindling of friendship and feelings, that strange bond with someone who knew you before you knew yourself, the understanding that comes with shared trauma.

brody: — your muse knew him when they were younger, before he got really famous. one day they realize he still follows them back on instagram and send him a message saying they're proud/impressed, hope he's doing well, etc, not expecting him to respond. except he does, and they start talking a lot, and they end up catching feelings. maybe they didn't know each other well before this, maybe one or both had a crush that they never expressed, maybe one or both are in a relationship—idk there's just a lot of fun dynamics we could play with in a celebrity x random guy ship. — just anyone who has an actual crush on him. it'll take a lot of convincing to get him to accept that they care about him as a person, especially if they've already hooked up, but i really want to see someone treat him softly, help him come to terms with the trauma he's endured, and make him realize that he is worth more than his body.

caspian: — first of all tw for self harm; second of all this could work for ships i already have with him! basically i really want to play out the first time he's getting intimate with someone and they accidentally touch/see his scars. he'll freak out and depending on the kind of relationship there are different ways they can handle it, but it's an aspect of him i'd like to explore (esp bc i have not always dealt with it very well in the past).

daehyun: — idk how to explain this dynamic other than just showing you 1:05-2:07 of this video. give dae the stoic, quiet, very masculine, (maybe still thinks he's straight) counterpart to his bubbly, outgoing, very openly queer self. and if we wanna take inspo from the song he won't be actively gunning for the other guy to break up with his gf but he Will be hoping for it. (also bonus points if they dance together but that is not necessary!) — more professional connections please!! choreographers or fellow dancers or people he is doing backup dancing for!! i have also been toying with a verse for him moving to korea so if anyone has idol muses :eyesemoji:

daisy: — imagine reuniting with your childhood crush except they're now a world famous actor and you have a headache from trying to explain algebra to 12 year olds all day. how do you even handle that.

darcy: — someone that knew him before his family died, maybe even a childhood friend who knew them too. they're the only person allowed to come over during august, the only person he'll talk to about any of it. he definitely has feelings for them—maybe always has—but he refuses to say anything because he can't risk ruining their friendship. — someone else who works at the strip club! could be a bartender or bouncer or another dancer; could be purely platonic, could be romantic/sexual, could be a rivalry! lots of potential here.

lennon: — okay this one is so silly but they love anime and i've always had this idea of them having a secret tumblr or twitter where they talk about that! and they also have a longtime mutual who they're best friends with, they know all lennon's secrets but not who they are. and as they catch feelings they have to decide if they want to lose their one place of anonymity, their friendship, and maybe even their trust. (and maybe for bonus funny points they one day reveal that they have an interest in figure skating and lennon like. sneakily tries to get their opinion on themself lmao)

matthew: — in this house we love tropes so pls i am begging give me the person he is bodyguarding; they're soft and flighty and wear their heart on their sleeve and he's both exasperated and in awe of them. bonus points if they are openly queer! he can't have them and he can't be them so instead he will simply yearn in silent agony. (this one can be totally platonic they can totally just be besties.)

miles: — give this beautiful man his first kiss!!! it can be a joke/dare/casual thing that he puts way too much meaning into despite trying not to; it can be the climax of a sweet romantic slow burn; it can be him asking a friend to just kiss him so he can get it over with but oops he liked it a lot actually!!! idk idc just kiss him

rhys: — "hey hello fellow single parent our kids are besties do you wanna set up a playdate for them? no this is not because i have an absurd crush on you and this is not because my daughter knows and will definitely tell you if i don't at least pretend to make a move"

rijin: — polar opposite besties!! they're loud and outgoing but know better than to try to force him out of his shell; he thinks they're brighter than the sun and are fucking terrified of the day they decide they're tired of trying to shine a light into his dark, lonely world.

taesuk: — modelling rival! modelling rival! they could be a fellow up-and-comer or someone a bit older and more established; either way they definitely super hate each other and don't wanna fuck even a little!

[shinjaeha]

ipytm ep 3 (thoughts + spoilers)

this is going to be a tough post for me to do bc honestly...this ep just left me feeling so run down. i know that the cast and crew have always strived for realism and authenticity with this series, but this one was just a lot to take in :/ my thoughts are gonna be even more all over the place than usual but idec at this point. having to rewatch this ep again is really fucking hard (even harder than itsay ep 4 bc even though that makes my heart ache, i still feel some sense of satisfaction from the development we get...this just leaves me feeling defeated in every way).

you know the drill: not an analysis, just me ranting as usual bc free therapy (and boy do i need it after this one)!! i had so many feelings watching this ep (esp towards teh but what’s new), so here goes.

we begin with the drama students rehearsing for jai’s new play, and the introduction of the plum wine which will be the recurring motif in this whole ep. the use of the plum wine in this also kind of reminds me of how teh initially disliked coconuts until he started falling in love with oh-aew and started to like them instead...i’m guessing that’s the parallel they’re trying to draw with the plum wine comparison in this.

teh’s having a hard time getting into character (which we already know from last ep was always going to be one of the toughest challenges for him as an actor). his character in the play is supposed to have a sex scene, but he’s struggling with this bc he can’t put himself in his character (akin’s) shoes, so jai ends rehearsals early.

jai gives them all logbooks which he basically wants them to treat as diaries where they’ll write everything they feel/learn and hand it back to him (he’ll be the only one reading them). ngl this already had me feeling kind of yikes (esp now as i rewatch this knowing how everything went down) since jai already has inside knowledge about teh’s feelings on his relationship with oh-aew which he can take advantage of :/ more on that later though...

it’s sad to me that so much time has passed since teh’s argument with khim and he's STILL avoiding her. khim was someone that he respected immensely (and was such a great mentor for him) so it just sucks to see that their relationship has deteriorated so much since the first two eps. teh might have had his reconciliation moment with oh-aew last ep, but there’s still a lot that he’s not ready or willing to address yet.

i understand that teh’s just encouraging jai about his work when he tells him to stop having others comment on it, but at the same time, i disagree with him bc i think it IS important to get other peoples’ opinion about your work. how else will you ever be able to see things from other perspectives if you don’t?

anyway, teh tells jai he’s seeing a play, and jai asks teh if he’s bringing oh-aew...the look on teh’s face is telling enough that things aren’t going great between them (at least on his end). this brings us to the logbook scene, where teh’s homework for the day is to write about the similarities and differences between himself and his character in the play. this gets teh to reflect on how he feels his relationship with oh-aew is changing, or specifically, how oh-aew seems to be changing so much that teh feels like he’s becoming someone else entirely...and does that mean that he still loves him the same?

i feel like this is a fairly common issue with people that have been in a relationship for a while (and this is their third year together now), so i understand how teh might start having doubts. it’s nothing that oh-aew’s done, it’s just that sometimes all these small changes can keep mounting up to the point that they feel much bigger than they actually are. oh-aew’s really just doing what everyone else does, which is grow and change as they get older, but teh’s still stuck in the past trying to hold onto what they used to have instead of evolving with oh-aew. the way teh picks at all these little changes of oh-aew does make me think that he’s self-sabotaging himself. he’s just so afraid and insecure that oh-aew will change so much he leaves him, that he has to nitpick at reasons why oh-aew’s the one that’s growing away from him (though when we watch the whole ep we know that that’s not the case at all). it’s like a ‘if i push him away first, then he won’t push me away’ sort of self-defence mechanism. either way, teh’s a constant overthinker...and he’s always been his own biggest enemy since the start, so it makes perfect sense to me that he would do this to himself here too.

i know that they’ve been together for years at this point, so things are not quite as exciting as they used to be, but it hurts to see oh-aew be so happy about getting an A for his class, and teh be so unenthused about it. oh-aew has to basically beg teh to give him attention and praise. remember when teh used to get so worried when oh-aew did badly in chinese class...and now it’s like whatever to him just bc he’s not tutoring him/they’re not in the same major anymore :((( i know it’s prob both bc teh’s still hurting that oh-aew transferred majors, and from seeing oh-aew succeed while he feels like he’s failing, but still...

also, not inviting him to see the play with him bc he thought oh-aew wouldn’t be interested/oh-aew kept falling asleep whenever they saw plays together ;;; i get the reasoning from both povs, but it still is nice to be asked :(

so one thing i have to say about the progression of their relationship here is that i just feel this huge disconnect from last ep and this ep?? i know it’s bc of the time skip (since it’s a year later basically), but to go from the end of ep 2, where they’re promising to love each other forever, and then to teh feeling disillusioned/as though he’s falling out of love with oh-aew basically right after that?? it’s so jarring. i feel like we lose so much with these time skips bc the transition from ep 2 to ep 3 is never really shown, so there’s this lack of flow there. like we’ve skipped a step entirely and something’s missing. this is the disadvantage of only focussing on one year per ep since there’s not enough time to explore as much character and relationship development when we’re only seeing an hour long snippet of an entire year. it just makes things feel superficial since so much of what we should be seeing is missing...and we basically have to fill in all the gaps ourselves.

okay, back to oh-aew ranting to his friends about how he feels like his relationship with teh is fading away bc they don’t have the same interests anymore, but also wondering if that’s just normal for long-term relationships. bless that boy that came to ask oh-aew for his ig :’) at least he knows that he’s wanted and has options, even if he obv turns him down bc of teh (for now).

plug and mangpong are dating!!!!!!! and mangpong does a horrible job of trying to hide it 😂 sidenote, but i love the way pp delivers lines sometimes (like the “just shocked”), he’s so cute. plug and mangpong’s legs touching...and the wave of nostalgia that came over me (and oh-aew) during that ;;; oh-aew seeing their blossoming relationship would make him reminisce back to his own experience of falling in love with teh...when everything was still so fluttery and new. so when teh texts him about using his car to help jai move, he looks happy. like he wants to rekindle those feelings again too.

that being said, it’s kind of sad to me how even jai shows more interest in oh-aew’s major than teh (when he asks him for his opinion on how to get people interested in his play). oh-aew’s got some good ideas and is more than willing to help (esp since he wants to connect and find a common interest with teh again). also, just bc oh-aew doesn’t want to be an actor anymore doesn’t mean that he’s completely uninterested in it. god, watching this part again hurts bc oh-aew looks so happy and optimistic. he worked so hard to help teh (and jai) only for them to betray him like that. it made me mad originally, but now it just breaks my heart :(

jai’s running acting classes again for his play, and this time it’s a workshop to help them tap into their feelings. it’s like an intimacy exercise where they give one another consent to touch certain body parts. teh is still struggling a lot with this. i think teh craves intimacy, but as he doesn’t feel that connection in his personal life to oh-aew anymore, so it’s difficult for him to draw on his experiences. he can’t even remember the first time he had sex with oh-aew properly anymore. as usual, teh’s too in his own head to just go with the flow and ~feel things (which isn’t new since teh’s had problems with this since itsay), but it’s def something that he’ll need to learn how to do if he wants to become an actor. he’s trying, but the fact that he can’t get to that place makes him feel even more insecure than ever that he might never be able to get there. imo one of the reasons teh works so hard, and is as driven and ambitious as he is, is that he’s afraid that he’ll never be good enough. he puts so much pressure on himself, and the issue with that is that he’ll never be able to live up to his expectations that way.

teh is also very much alone now. oh-aew has his group of friends to talk to about his relationship with teh, but teh just has jai at this point. he’s pushed khim away...and he and oh-aew aren’t communicating effectively (which is also why they’re on SUCH different wavelengths in terms of where their relationship is at), so there’s literally only jai for him to talk to about all his relationship issues. and to me at least, jai seems to have ulterior motives (particularly when you consider that the subject matter of his play is pretty much the same thing that teh’s going through rn). it’s times like this when i do feel kind of bad for teh, but then again, he brought this upon himself the way that he almost always does...and it leaves me frustrated instead.

jai kissing his professor though...also their conversation?? i have QUESTIONS...

that whole interaction with teh when jai catches him spying on him and the professor was SO awkward. idk what it is about teh but i have never encountered a character that has given me as much secondhand embarrassment as he does. when he starts touching the bars and avoiding eye contact i just- why, teh why?????

moving on, i’m thinking there’s prob more to that scene that we don’t know about bc jai’s shifty like that...but it’s purpose is also to shift teh’s perception of jai. before this, he pretty much just saw jai as his friend and mentor, but seeing him kiss someone else pushes him to think of jai in another less platonic light. like the first spark of attraction.

the both of them go to see the mime show (babymime), and i know that the point of this is so teh can learn to just feel and let go the way that the mimes in this play do, but idk it’s just kind of funny to me the contrast between the last scene and this one. 

the leg touching scene again but this time with teh and jai...thanks, i hate it :/// 

teh’s already feeling like he and oh-aew’s interests are making them drift apart, so by connecting with jai, it’s that initial feeling of attraction that he used to feel with oh-aew all those years ago. jai is that cool senior that he respects...he’s goal-oriented and has so much in common with him (in a way that he feels that oh-aew doesn’t anymore), so it doesn’t altogether surprise me that teh latches onto jai in this way. esp when all their conversations revolve around what teh’s most passionate about, and what dreams they’re striving towards in the future.

it doesn’t surprise me bc teh’s affections shifted in a similar way from tarn to oh-aew when he was first starting to realise his feelings for oh-aew too (though at least he and tarn were never officially dating during that time...)

there’s a genuineness to the way teh praises and encourages jai that isn’t there when he’s doing the same to oh-aew :( and that coupled with teh lying to oh-aew about him having dinner with jai while oh-aew is at home, completely oblivious, painstakingly photoshopping his boyfriend’s face on the poster of the play TO HELP TEH instead of doing his own uni work, makes me so fucking upset for oh-aew.

it’s interesting to see how different their personalities are even when it comes to something as simple as the way they read their texts. oh-aew is so ready to accept whatever teh tells him at face value, but teh overthinks everything to the point where he jumps to a certain conclusion in his head about it instead.

but yeah, it’s just really tough to see oh-aew try so hard for teh, only to see teh do nothing back for oh-aew in return. there’s only so much one side can give. it’s the absolute lack of effort on teh’s part to even try to make things work with oh-aew that is the most frustrating thing of all. oh-aew is carrying their entire relationship rn and it makes me feel all “and for what?? why should he even bother??” about it.

sneaking to sit at the river with jai is like this forbidden, new experience, so it just enhances that feeling of attraction that teh is already feeling towards jai. and esp when he starts telling him about his previous relationship with james, the significance of the plum wine, and how jai ended up breaking up with him. since it’s reflective of teh’s own experiences atm (even in how he kind of self-sabotages himself to push people/oh-aew away first), he clearly takes it to heart. and it makes him want to do an even better job since the play is an autobiographical one for jai. not to mention, teh supposedly being the only one that jai told his story to makes him feel ‘special’......and we all know how teh likes feeling as though he’s special to someone. you can see it in how dejected he is when he thinks jai only told him his story bc he wanted him to get into character better, but perks up the moment jai says he actually told him bc teh’s been doing such a good job (and to encourage him). like i mentioned before, teh’s already feeling vulnerable and isolated from everybody else, so hearing any sort of praise (and esp when it’s from someone that he looks up to as much as jai), is going to pull him in.

when they were hiding from the security guard i was like ughhh i know where this is heading and i. don’t. like. it........

the problem is that i know where teh stands on this. like i know that there’s some attraction on his end. but i don’t know where jai stands. is he intentionally manipulating teh’s feelings for his play? is there any sincerity there? i think it’s obvious that he can tell teh is attracted to him from the glance that they share in this scene, but i can’t get a handle on what he actually wants (which i guess is the point of making his character as mysterious as it is but still). and if he can tell, and he doesn’t actually like teh back in that way, it makes the end scene even more yikes imo.

hmmm teh lying in the pool trying to recreate that feeling right before their first kiss when the both of them just let everything go and sank down into the water. that’s how you KNOW the next scene is supposed to be angsty...bc just like how their first underwater kiss had a sense of sadness to it bc they were hiding, their first (on screen) sex scene has that same sense of sadness, only this time it’s bc teh’s using his attraction to jai/his method actor desire to get into character to fuel the sex instead of bc he genuinely just wants to have sex with oh-aew. and if his reasoning for the sex is bc of that, then his task to recreate their first sexual experience will never live up to the actual first time they had sex (when they BOTH wanted it, and there were no other factors involved).

that’s not to say i don’t think teh doesn’t love oh-aew anymore. i think that there HAS to be some level of love still there amidst all of the confusion, but it feels a lot more like he’s testing his love/attraction to oh-aew during this scene (sort of like how he did with tarn in itsay) than a proper ‘love scene’. like he’s trying to reconfirm his feelings, whilst using oh-aew as inspiration for his role at the same time. it makes my heart ache that this is the first love scene we get from them this series, and it’s marred by the context of what we know is going on in teh’s head. like i said, it’s this permeating sadness throughout...and just knowing that oh-aew has absolutely NO IDEA what’s going on with teh and why he suddenly wants to have sex makes it worse. oh-aew’s been trying to make things work, and in his mind, teh spontaneously coming over like this prob makes him think that things are getting better between them since this is also the closest thing to teh showing any sort of initiative to work on their relationship in this ep so far...

and that’s not also taking away how beautifully this whole scene is shot. i’ve always loved the way that teh and oh-aew play and flirt with each other (bkpp’s chemistry is honestly unparalleled!!) so it was nice to see them be kind of playful before they started kissing again (if you ignore how sad this scene really is). i LOVE the inter-splicing between their first time on the beach and the present. the way the score swells, and little moments where you can see their feet and fingers interlocked on the beach. it gives you such a visceral visual (and totally takes me back to itsay days when that sort of imagery was used a lot more). i just hate that since we know the truth, this scene is more uncomfortable than satisfying despite how nicely shot it is.

i wish we got more domestic moments from them. i know their relationship has sort of grown past those initial moments of flirtation, but it truly makes me sad that we don’t get to see more of them as a couple in general in ipytm. moments like this where they’re lying in bed cuddling each other are so few and far between that i always feel like i have to cherish every little fleeting piece of fluff that i can get. even if idek if this can really be called fluff since the context sort of ruins it.

oh-aew’s still got his heart attack bag :’)))

he was soooooo happy when he met up with his friends 😭 but also, how the hell is it possible for teachers to move deadlines up like that. i FEEL that panic... poor oh-aew...

teh’s in rehearsals again and this time he’s wearing his moon shirt which...i do NOT need those ep 3 itsay vibes rn when i was already dreading this last ten minutes with everything i have in me :((( but anyway, jai’s brought plum wine to class and we know that teh doesn’t usually drink, but he does this time. he tells teh that the taste will change over time (it symbolises the ageing of the relationship process), and teh says it’s a pity he won’t get to taste it next time since jai wants to go abroad to study. then teh tells him he’s worked on the acting exercise and wants to try it out with jai, and i feel like we all knew where it was going to go from here.........

they really had to hammer it in with him missing oh-aew’s call too huh :/

as soon as they started the touching/intimacy exercise again i was just waiting for the catch. even on this rewatch i’m still sitting here chanting “don’t do it teh don’t do it” knowing full well that he kisses jai and there’s no changing that. but then when they cut to oh-aew walking up the stairs with the posters and you hear just how much time he’s sacrificed to help teh/jai on this...sacrificing time EVEN NOW just to go over to their uni to give them the posters when he has a presentation due tomorrow that he and his friends still haven’t finished working on...it’s just heartbreaking knowing what he’s going to end up walking in on.

whether it’s itsay or ipytm, teh’s default state is confusion. so while i think that there’s a certain amount of attraction towards jai there of course, i kind of get the feeling that he’s confusing his feelings of connection with jai (bc of their shared interests and passion) with him falling in love with jai. i feel like his attraction to jai reminds him of what it was like when he was first attracted to oh-aew, and since things have changed so much between him and oh-aew, it’s like he wants to recreate and capture that feeling again with jai (which is also why he wears the moon shirt...he wore that during itsay ep 3 beach scene, which was the moment when the attraction really started to burn between him and oh-aew). he can’t feel that same spark with oh-aew anymore, so he transfers his feelings to jai since, at this point in time, he feels closer to jai than anyone else. instead of growing alongside oh-aew, it’s like he’s choosing to revert back to a time when he was happier.

we know that teh has always been the type of person that will act on his impulses when he feels them. that’s WHY it was so hard to watch...bc i knew while watching that last scene, he was never going to restrain himself or put a stop to those feelings bleeding over into action. and esp not when it could benefit him in some way with his acting too.

in the end, it just makes me so devastated for oh-aew. and i really hope that he doesn’t let this go bc he thinks it’s just teh method acting or getting into character or whatever...i know that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things rn, but that’s not an excuse. he really fucked this one up.

the thing is, it’s not that i don’t think teh is capable of acting this way (i’ve seen a few people say that this is ooc for him, but it really isn’t? this confusion and impulsiveness has always been a part of his character from the very start...he was always the one that had the most trouble dealing with his feelings out of the two of them), but the time skips don’t do him any favours bc we lose all those moments that take him to what he’s currently feeling. when we don’t have those moments, then it’s a lot harder to sympathise with him. in itsay, bc we always knew how teh got from point a to point b, even if he did frustrating/silly things, i always understood where he was coming from. i always felt for him. i GOT his struggles, which was why i was always able to empathise with what he was going through. in ipytm, he just comes off as unlikeable bc of how superficial his feelings seem (from what we’re being shown on screen at least).

falling out of love with your significant other/starting to feel things for someone else is obv a fairly common experience, so i don’t blame teh for FEELING like this, but it’s how he treats oh-aew throughout this that doesn’t sit right with me. even if you feel like you’re falling out of love with someone, or that they’ve changed since the first time you fell in love with them, you’d think there’d be some motivation to at least TRY to make things work with them before giving up. we never see that from teh at all. instead, he just see him becoming infatuated with jai (so we barely see teh/oh-aew together in the first place). and while i can see now that a lot of this is due to his own insecurities and inadequacies, it’s also just so disrespectful to oh-aew who's the one that we see putting in all this time and effort (it calls back to their whole “don’t give my time to others” scene in itsay bc we see oh-aew giving so much of his time to teh through helping him out with his play, while teh’s giving that time that should be for oh-aew to jai now). no matter his reasoning, watching teh act that way towards oh-aew does make it increasingly hard to root for him. there’s just too big a disparity in how the two of them choose to act and devote their time to their relationship.

what’s frustrating is that in itsay, teh would fuck up but he would always try to make amends with oh-aew in some way. he would always come forward to try to sort things out after...but there’s nothing here. even after their dinner fight in ep 2, it’s OH-AEW that reaches out to him first (even though it’s teh’s fault that they fought in the first place). where’s that boy that dressed up in his old school uniform in order to talk to oh-aew at his school? or made a whole chinese idioms scrapbook for oh-aew? or gave up his uni admission for oh-aew? i understand that characters and motivations change (and he was obv hopped up on his first love with oh-aew at the time), but it’s just really, really sad to see teh keep messing up and not even try to meet oh-aew halfway with this. yes, you can fuck up, but there are only so many times you can keep fucking up before it starts to look more like a pattern of shitty behaviour than a few forgivable missteps.

another issue is that there’s been so much focus on teh and his flaws that a lot of the time oh-aew comes off as a side character to teh’s story. previously, i understood that since teh was grappling with his sexuality. it made sense that his journey was the primary focus of the plot and character development. but i always felt that there was more room to explore oh-aew’s story (and i thought that we would get a lot more of that in ipytm...esp after ep 1), but it just feels like we kind of skimmed past all of oh-aew’s growth and struggles adjusting to bangkok/uni life so we could turn the attention back to teh again. i just hate that we never get to see more of how oh-aew’s changed in teh’s eyes (other than the surface level things like his hair, new car and major), and that we never get to see more of oh-aew’s life when it’s not related to teh in general. i hope that we’ll get more of oh-aew in the last two eps, but i really don’t know what they’ll give us anymore.

at this point, i don’t even want them as endgame anymore given everything that’s happened in the recent ep. and it pains me so much to say that bc teh/oh-aew are so immensely important to me, but they’re just in such different places in life. and teh esp has so much more growing to do (i think i said this last week too? teh...). oh-aew deserves to be with someone that can see his worth as he is (that won’t cheat on him for one!!). i just want him to be with someone that can make him happy. what i wanted most for them out of this was for the two of them to grow to a better place (together and as individuals), and while i still want that for them as individuals, it’s hard for me to want them to be happy together anymore. at least for the time being.

i’m kind of at a loss for how they’re gonna work through this (and i genuinely want oh-aew to be able to explore his options too...particularly with someone that will actually treat him better than teh’s treating him atm). so at this point it’s kind of looking to me like a break up is inevitable? but i do think it’s necessary  for both of them rn. i feel so heartbroken about it though...like ipytm is actually making ME go through the breakup...breaking up with all my beloved itsay teh/oh-aew memories :((( anyway, i think a break up is also conveniently the best time to put a time skip tbh...so we’ll see if that does end up happening now in future eps.

this one took such a long time to write up bc i wrote like a quarter of this RIGHT after i finished watching the ep (so you can clearly tell which parts were me right after the ep, and which parts were me after i had some time to sit on what happened 😂), but i thought it was best to take a bit of a break. i didn’t rewatch it again until i calmed down a little and sorted out my thoughts some more (though i know this is still pretty messy). but yeah, i’m still very much interested in watching how they things are going to progress from here...but i can’t deny how sad i’ve been feeling after this.

[misterbitches]

what i like abt muren and li chen

i’m sorta burned out and my vagina is bleeding so lemme see if i can type this. probably can lmao. my brain is going ten miles a minute.

1. the fact that they were friends first.

 someone on here said this and idk who but i don’t want to seem like it was my idea. 

the fact that they are friends and didn’t have like a connection previously and it developed. most times friends-to-lovers has a basis of some sort of romantic interest from another person so they were not truly ever friends, you know? and many relationships people aren’t friends first but that’s the best kind. and they are the truest form in that (i wouldnt say truest means good but just i think a representation of) they were truly friends, no attraction at least consciously, and were lead into it. 

2. bc they know each other well and are friends they know each other and LAUGH and if you can’t laugh with your love then there is no point. 0. lmao. i love it

idk they fell easily in2 the luvy duvy part and u can actually believe they are into each other like outside of kissing. gee. also hello! when lichen like threw the heart in the office and muren caught it? bitch! i woulda been like ew!!!!! and blushed but muren was like that’s right that’s my bitch

3. bouncing off 2 um uhhhhh the way they interact so i guess this is 2 but whatver i like lists now

muren is >:O but super sweet and receptive to others. so he responds to people and it isn’t just stoic for stoic sake or with not much substance. idk how to say this but oftentimes sometimes i feel like characters will be too oppositional to offset their partner and it can be extremely annoying to watch because it’s part of the dynamic but sometimes there’s a lack of reciprocation. i like that even if muren is quiet he smiles a lot and lets people know through his actions and shit. esp his mans. and when he needs to talk, he will. 

lichen is perfect for this because of reasons. what do you even say about this dude holy shit. first of all he really is a fucking himbo. he’s not even dumb he’s just a fucking himbo. it’s great to say the way they express their excitement and the best thing to hear, “i can be myself around you”

4. u cannnot tell me that this top/bottom discourse is actually not ridiculous esp for them bc there is no way that my eyes are seeing what i see yet there’s some struggle when they’re trying to constantly grapple with the masculine/feminine aspects (this is a good thing)

with the way that they hang off each other. esp bc lichen is shorter than him and stockier and he can attach himself like a barnacle. the way he expresses glee and love is very “feminine” at times IE reliance, support, putting your head on his etc but then there are times when he is the one to hold muren too. so it’s like they are clearly on the same  level in how they exchange love and stuff and exploring the dynamics but it clearly isnt as structured as the usual ones and it shouldnt be so they should just stop talking about this shit cos ur both getting fucked god shut up

lichen squeals like a girl and is obsessed with him. he is clingy and also says “what do you want to do to me.” if this show is gonna sit us through the agony of this stupid discourse and they tell me they arent gonna sw*tch or whatever (not that they cant have other forms of sex bc that is not that difficultand as adults w eknow this but anywaaay) then they simply are wrong

5. the ~gay 4 u~ thing is dumb and i cannot believe it tbqh cos it’s like sir....but i am glad that lichen like expresses attraction to his physique and personhood as a man and acknowledging that that is something and a part of the attraction.

 it was probably a happy accident but it’s still a good one. there’s sometimes an idea of like sexual attraction being sorta nebulous when someone is like getting into a rship with the same gender but not being sure about their sexuality or whatever or still liking another gender explicitly where they cant admit they find things attractive or enticing even when they are in a same sex relationship and it is so fucking confusing and doesn’t make sense. i wish instead of trying to make it cut and dry they just went honestly mabye they dont know but theyre both men and thats a factor. ok lets move on now. :) 

6. they make u feel nice

especially in comparison to the show being messy and also there’s some crazy stalker man running around you know they temper that 

they’re just really fun to watch. it’s an interesting dynamic and particularly with xing si in their lives it’s nice and i’m so glad there’s no one else to ruin it like say a brother who is a waste of space. but it’s mostly good feelings for them and you can see why they like each other, that they can stay together, and how helpful a relationship can be as you grow as an individual

7. while i am sure there will be further misunderstandings...comm...unic...ation?

literally boys are dumb as hell but idk if my reading is correct on this one but SO FAR TO MOI im like wow u guys like actually talk. woah. and i think that’s nice. yest i had a breakdown in front of my fam bc i am sometimes emotionally stunted when faced with distress so it’s nice to see people talking that out in particularly with like jealousy and stuff

AND their interactions in public and the understanding. knowing it takes time and stuff for them to adjust and allowing them the time. they are extremely different to other people and they want to be distinct and they can be and arre to each other they dont need to follow anyone else’s rules (except the costume department sometimes needs to get better pants for muren like that’s my rule tbh but that’s neither here nor there)

did some1 call them emotional support himbos? i think so cos word. 

oh one more thing idk the name of the actor playing li chen and im too tired to look it up but i like him a lot i think he does a good job of going seamlessly between like a jubilant person and an actual human being. he plays well at being oblivious but not outright stupid and emotionally stunted or not picking up certain signals. i think at times it seems like he doesn’t always have a sense of self  like trying to be something else for other people but then he realizes like he can’t do that so all he can do is be himself which leads him 2 his mans but yea. the actor does a decent job! it’s a fun character to wathc

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

[starsmuserainbow]

Here’s the second round of ‘Star picks potential RL-FCs for her muses’.

In short: I have picked (and got suggested some) a few possible faces that I might pick as (real life-) Faceclaims for my muses. Not that I intend to use them much or at all, but I thought it’d be nice to at least for once try and see which faces I would be picking if I were interested in doing so. I have removed some of the faces that I previously picked from the list, because I grew more liking of others or don’t like them anymore, or also simply because I tried to limit myself to a maximum of 5 options per muse.

I would appreciate hearing other’s thoughts on the matter, though if you don’t want to, that’s okay too of course. Like, please, if you do look at it, tell me what you think!

Once more - this post is long, and has a batch of images.

I’m not gonna name the faces I picked, because I don’t need it to show up in any search and I also don’t see a need for it. If you want to say something to a specific one, you can always go by the order that they’re appearing in this post or, like, describe something of the pose or the picture or whatever. (Example of the first option here, like, ‘I like Starfire #1′ or the likes.)

These edits are not done that well, some at parts a little better or worse than others. I just did them because I was hoping to be able to decide better when the colors actually fit. After each pic, I will list some of my thoughts, probably some pros and cons of the face, that I see, too.

Okay, with that said, on we go!

————————————————————————–-

Starting, of course, again with

Starfire!

#1

(The edit on the right of this picture is not mine, I found it through a search and thought I could save myself the editing work)

I included her the last time already, in ‘Blackfire and Starfire’, but I don’t plan on doing that category again, so she’s here this time. And probably will be listed on Blackfire’s options too.

I’m not sure if I really wanna do the positive and negative thing again that I did last time, but, I guess I’ll try to do it. Is a good way to say something about each.

+ eyes nicely big-enough + expressive face + the hair is long enough to work

- She is, or was, a pretty common pick for stuff in general I think? - I don’t think I found a specific appearance of hers that could work well for my purposes

#2

Also taken from last time, and mostly included again because I had at least one voice saying they liked her for Star. I’m still not quite sure how I feel about her, but, yeah.

+ princess-y attire + good hair-length

- I think where these pics are from is an older thing so the quality probably is bad - I don’t really know if I like her smile all that much if I’m honest

#3

+ hair has a decent length + I can see the face working

- The appearance that I found as most interesting/fitting for if I ever do want to take icons, was I think a horror-ish movie of sorts? Which I don’t really wanna watch much, so idk how using her would go for me

#4

+ from the pics I saw, I feel like she’s nicely strongly expressive, like I could use for Star + I do like her face/looks

- She’s like, a really really often used face for characters I think? At least I’m pretty sure I came across her as possible choice for a bunch of muses before - I know her from at least one thing already and it might be difficult to connect her to being Star?

And with that, we’re done with Starfire!

————————————————————————–-

Obviously, next:

Blackfire!

#1

You might recognize her, both from above on Star’s #1, and from the previous post of this. I still consider her a potential fit for them both though, so of course I included her again.

+ eyes nicely big-enough + expressive face + the hair is long enough to work + the pic I did here for Blackfire totally - yes, simply because of it being done in/surroundedby nature - reminds me of the Poison Ivy I once did stuff with both on Starfire and Blackfire, I miss those interactions (or the mun/muse) a lot and just absolutely love that the pic feels like a little like a hinted remembrance for those

- She is, or was, a pretty common pick for stuff in general I think? - I don’t think I found a specific appearance of hers that could work well for my purposes

#2

+ I can see her face working for Blackfire + that pic on the right exudes exactly her smugness + ridiculous point, but if I do take her and ever feel the need/urge to actually do iconing of the FCs, and I pick someone specific from Moonshot’s options, I could get both done from the same show I think

- another time from a rather common thing I think? Which, shouldn’t really be a criteria, but I’m always thinking that people might simply not be able to connect her to something else then

#3

Again taking her from the previous post of doing it, because I had recieved one opinion on her being a good choice.

+ Face and eyes work, at least in these two pics + Clothes work for Blackfire + Her hair is more ‘sleek’ than some of the others in the pics I found, meaning not as many sticking-out hairs to recolor

- In some pics of her I could absolutely not see Blackfire, so I guess it depends a lot on the pose or expression which might mean she’s not that good a fit after all - Comes from a rather well-known thing so even if I myself don’t connect her to it, many others might and I know that when I feel like that I can’t enjoy the FC as much

#4

+ I like her face, I think it fits well + In at least some of her appearances/pics, she has bangs like here, which I kinda in general tend to prefer over all hair done back + her clothes work good for Blackfire

- Again, not all of her pics when searching for them look fitting for Blackfire. But I’m not sure if that’s something I should even list as point, since it seems to be default state. - I think she too is from a rather known thing

#5

+ in the right pics, I feel like her face works really well for Blackfire + I think she’s not from that known medias

- in most of her things, I think she’s having hair about as long as in these pics here, which is kinda too short for a proper Blackfire look - she looks kinda... a bit very thin to me? Idk, I can’t explain what I mean by that

#6

Since I did only 4 on Star, I feel like I’m ‘allowed’ to do one more here. More or less just to actually have my edits shown at least once though, I think I feel the above 5 more than this one. Still, though, here’s number 6.

I don’t really have any + or - here, I mostly just kept her in because I wanted to not just waste the edits I did. I kinda sorta already sorted her out for myself.

That makes it all of Blackfire’s options.

————————————————————————–-

You might be able to guess - next up:

Wildfire!

I don’t really have much new here, but I did sort out a few. I’m not all too fond of the younger-looking ones, so I mostly kept them out of this, outside of one who had gotten a ‘vote’ from the last post.

#1

The only new one of his options right away.

+ I kinda really like the face for Wildfire + one of his appearances has a kind of ‘evil’ look/attire so if I would ever need an evil!look for him I could totally take from there + the hair was surprisingly nice to recolor into Wildfire’s red

- I’d have to work on removing the freckles throughout most of his face, because while I have before considered to have Wildfire with some, I don’t actually think he has such anymore - A rather known face I think thanks to a few recent-ish movies - I’ve heard a voice before saying he’s problematic? Idk why, and I think I don’t really care since all I do is ‘steal’ the face for my own use, but yeah

#2

Like the other option for him still coming below, he’s taken from the last thing.

+ hair is okay-ish + medieval-ish attire probably could work well for mimicking Wildfire’s usual clothing

- He’s only in an episode or so playing this role, I think the role has like 3 different actors or so over the time whenever he appears as young - This is one of like two or so pics in total I found of his appearing and idk, on both he doesn’t quite feel right, a little too ‘stiff’ or ‘serious’ idk (though I guess Wildfire is that too at times, idk it’s just hard to explain)

#3

This had before been his #5, but since I only have 3 options here this time, he’s now #3 instead I guess.

+ face is ‘long-ish’, which I kinda feel helps + I like his face better than #1

- the first pic looks like he’s a good fit, but on the one on the right it doesn’t quite feel that much like a fit - I’m not sure if he’s from too known stuff as well

Okay, Wildfire done!

————————————————————————–-

Now we’re having someone who I had absolutely zero idea for last time, and I didn’t even expect to ever have potential faces. But thanks to wonderful suggestions, I do now! So here comes

Galfore!

#1

+ good-enough hair+beard + a warrior-esque role at least once + I think he looks at least kinda like that without being in-role too, which would mean more possibilities for editing/iconing/whatever

- I could say that his hair is good but not long enough or some other details of Galfore’s look like the braids and such, but honestly, this is probably as close as I can get with actual people so yeah - From a popular series that I never watched, and didn’t exactly plan to ever do, if I do pick him though and want to make icons or something, I might have to

#2

+ hair+beard working pretty well, again + warrior-like role too + I think the hair here is a little longer than with #1, so maybe a little better a fit?

- idk how big his appearance was, gotta re-check the movie for that

#3

+ I could use the eyepatch as excuse of not having to edit Galfore’s scar and broken eye, though I’d have to mirror the pics first since it’s the wrong eye here + hair+beard work well again + A viking, so definitely filling the slot of warrior too

- In most of his appearance, he’s wearing the helmet that you can see on the right? I actually haven’t yet checked if the actor had other roles with similar attire/hair/etc - I don’t really think Galfore would be wearing an eyepatch?

#4

(Only one edit here bc I grew tired of editing)

+ his face kinda works I think?

- he barely has any appearances anywhere I think

That’s Galfore done, too.

————————————————————————–-

So we continue onwards, though for the next two there haven’t really been any changes. Still, though, in order to maybe get some opinions for them too, they’re included, so next up:

Starlight!

#1

Okay, uh, let’s be honest, I don’t really consider anyone else anymore. I have gotten one pretty excited feedback from the last time, and, I just think her face works really well for Starlight.

+ I like her face + I’m pretty sure she wears some really nice colorful things throughout the show, and even changes style eventually which means a nice variation

- From a well-known thing - I think by now she is a singer of sorts so maybe too many can’t quite connect her to something else

#2

This is the only other one I’d really consider for her, mostly as a form of older looks. And when I say older, here, I mean like somewhere in her 20s or late teen or so.

(Also I just need to say that this is probably the best likeness to how I actually imagine Starlight’s hair that I managed to create)

+ hair was nice to recolor + I like her face

- (feeling) too old for how Starlight is at the moment - I think she too comes from a well-known thing

And with that, Starlight’s already done, too.

————————————————————————–-

On to the last but not least,

Moonshot!

#1

Those are all taken from last time, so my pro and con also gets copied from there, as I did with the other repated ones above already too.

+ ‘square-y’ face in the way I feel I’d need it + ‘small’ eyes, as in narrowed a bit

- the hair isn’t quite perfect since Moonshot has a bit longer of a hair and more… more messy - I don’t like his face in some of the pics a picture-search gives me

#2

+ face and eyes again fit to what I’d be looking for + a good amount of the pics of a picture-search actually are ones I can see working

- I think he’s from something well-known again - and again the hair with the same reasoning as above, but tbh I don’t think I even can find anyone completely fitting anyway

#3

+ face works I think + many pics of the result are ones I can see work

- comes from a rather popular thing as far as I can tell - in some angles, or maybe simply at another time of the actor’s life idk, the face doesn’t look that fitting anymore

————————————————————————–-

Aaaaand... finish!

I kinda doubt anyone actually looks as far as here, though if you do, thank you!

I’d really appreciate hearing opinions, if you can see any of them work or not and maybe why. You could even name me other options if you want to, too, though I don’t think I’m gonna make another post of FC-options since I’m kinda fed up with doing the work and not being able to decide.

Of course I do have my own favourites, slightly, but I’d really like to hear feedback! Like, you could even tell me for those of my muses you don’t know, just look at my pics of them on my pages or something, if you really want to give me feedback! Thank you a lot in advance if you do!

[lightcomingthroughthedarkness]

I know you don't like BC anymore because of S7 But I like the way you answer the questions That's why I decided to ask I rewatched the first four seasons and realized something strange My question is long so I took it apart CL was never conceived as a big love At least JR didn't do that Maybe KS worked for it, and when he came back 130years later, still CL S6 continued but I thought it wasn't the original plan for JR.

People call it big CL, but I don't really understand what CL is being mentioned At least romantically The same is true for BC Before Finn's reaction 108 there was only friendship development jealousy confirmed this For CL,this only started at 214 But even then,C said she was not ready to have a relationship with anyone "in general" So he was saying this to himself.Well a few episodes ago, because love was a weakness, kept B away from herself B didn't send anyone to look for her s1e11

I'm not sure if these asks are in the right order or if there were suppose to be more asks, but these are the ones I got.

I very rarely talk about show Bellarke anymore because as you said, I don't ship them anymore. I'll try my best to answer this but honestly, I just couldn't care less about show Bellarke and I would never want Clarke anywhere near Bellamy (so I'm not sure I can be empathetic towards her)

Basically this is my interpretation. Lxa wasn't supposed to be Lxa at first. They wanted a child actor to play Heda but for different reasons that didn't happen. They cast ADC. Everyone knows Lxa was there to be an antagonist to Clarke but also a mirror to who Clarke could be.

Then they saw chemistry between Clarke and Lxa and it was Kim who suggested they kiss (if I remember it correctly). There were no plans to write CL the way it ended up being written. Jason only had the Lxa story for season 2. They didn't plan on having Lxa in season 3.

Then came the fan reaction to Lxa and CL. Jason was clearly surprised but also happy with the reaction and it fed him. He used that popularity and reaction to push for more Lxa/CL. Yet he still had no long term plans for them. But he wanted to buy more time, more screentime/scenes for them.

Since ADC had already signed with AMC, they had to fight to get ADC back in order to "finish the story". A story that Jason hadn't even planned on by the end of season 2. He even said the plan was for the story to go on and for everyone to know Lxa was out there with other grounders doing her job but not part of the story on the show. But he wanted to use her popularity to sell the show and elevate it into the sort of show he wanted or believed he was making. From the moment Jason started writing season 3, Lxa was always going do die, it was even hinted at in season 2!

So he developed a romantic relationship within 7 episodes. What was shown on screen was not what he was saying online. He used fans and their love for the character, to sell season 3. I do believe Clarke and Lxa had a connection and understood each other. I think they were attracted to each other. I think Lxa was into Clarke more than Clarke was into Lxa. Not because Clarke couldn't but because they didn't give Clarke the time to fully develop those feelings. Lxa already had them. Right when Clarke allowed herself to acknowledge those feelings, they killed Lxa.

I think Lxa was supposed to be an important character for Clarke for many different reasons and I would never claim that they weren't romantic/had feelings because they clearly did but the notion that a two week romance was THE relationship for Clarke, as an 18 year old girl, is ridiculous.

I think the disconnect here is that CL shippers and Jason (when he tried to do damage control after) sold CL as big, important and everlasting relationship on a 7 episodes built up. The vision of what fans wanted for CL, what they saw for CL, what they wished for CL was sold as canon after 7 episodes. I would argue, fans elevated CL to that status from sheer WISHFUL thinking of what wanted CL to BE but that they in canon weren't, at least, they never got the built up or time to BECOME what fans saw in their vision. But they made it "the truth" on social media and made it canon in their minds and sold CL as such after only 7 episodes. Regardless of the fact that it was Clarke's show, Clarke's journey or the fact that Clarke was only an 18 year old who had her entire life in front of her.

The way in which Jason killed Lxa also goes to show how little he understood fans and how little he cared about any emotional connection to Lxa. He cared as long as the story gave him want he wanted for the show; recognition, an audience, money, more seasons etc.

The backlash against Jason is a huge part of how the story was told after season 3. Suddenly even on the show, they started writing Lxa and her memory differently and they gave more meaning to the relationship that had ever gotten in the scripts. The I love you in 3x16 was ADR. It was added only AFTER the backlash. It wasn't even in the script. The Lxa mentions in 4x01 (Clarke and Abby's talk wasn't even scripted at first. The actor playing Abby made them write it and keep it in the episode). All these extra Lxa mentions, rewriting the relationship or the build up of the relationship was damage control. It was an answer to all the criticism. To give CL more depth and meaning after death. As if it was good enough for fans. It wasn't.

The thing is, people say "oh you only call it damage control and not canon because you don't ship CL". The thing is, it's such an insult to themselves and their ship when they say stuff like that. CL fans should acknowledge that they were used and that most of the things after season 3 was damage control. That should be the real problem here, that they were used like that. They should want and expect better than a pitty damage control tour. CL could have been great and exactly what they envisioned CL to be or become. But they never got the screentime to become that. They killed Lxa off right before their potential could be reached. So now all that lost potential has somehow been made into being canon because CL fans think "this is what CL was even though they never got the time to achieve it). That's the thing. They COULD have sure but they never did. They ended with the potential but the potential in your vision is not canon. Yet they made it so.

So we have fan backlash against Jason and the show and it changed a lot for the story due to damage control. And through Lxa's popularity, she became some sort of martyr in their eyes and so much interest and equally pressure would put on the show, Clarke and Jason, that they keep Lxa as a ghost in the story. Clarke was never allowed to grow up and have a life outside of Lxa, the show started to revolve around the AI and even though there were several other commanders, it somehow always came down to Lxa. And then Jason got a chance to right his mistake when he got ADC to come back. To win some points with fans. Look how great he is, right? But yet again, he showed his true colors. He didn't make CL endgame, he didn't even bring Lxa back. He literally had ADC on set again and he made her an alien in Lxa's clothes. If we are gonna talk about ship, you had the actor right there and could have made it become real since you CLAIM you did it for fans. Yet. He. Did. Not. Do. That. He made Lxa an alien. And then what did he do? He did an interview where he claimed it was a "greatest love" yet he never once told that story in the finale. He didn't even let Lxa be Lxa. But he could do an interview playing with people's emotions again because it would give him support and extra points from CLs. But in canon? He never had to follow through for a single second. It was all left in the open.

So no, not much of anything was his original plan and it shows. Personally, I think he thinks losing Lxa was his biggest mistake (only after he saw the fan reaction to her) and if he could, there is no doubt in my mind he would have kicked Clarke out as the main for Lxa.

[kirishwima]

Sorry I sent you the same ask earlier but I'd rather it be anon! How about RFA + Saeran headcanons with a professional dancer MC? Like dancing that's a bit more "close" like tango. How do they feel about her career and do they ever get jealous? Or do they just see it as her job? How do they feel about her dancing partner? (Assuming her dance partner is just a really cool standup guy who respects his partner's relationship)

so, quick funny story: i signed up for a dance class last semester as an EC, thinking it’d be fun workout dances like zumba...turns out no,  me and my other 3 friends signed up for a classical dance class where each girl had signed up with her boyfriend, so people just assumed we were 2 lesbian couples for the whole semester lmaoanyway that’s just to say-i got u covered with this headcanon lmao

YOOSUNG:

* When MC told him about their profession he was really excited! He immediatly went to youtube to watch some of MC’s competition videos, ready to whole-heartedly support her work

* Even though MC told him she focused more on latin and classical dances, and that she had a dance partner, Yoosung didn’t really put two and two together until he clicked on a video of her performing a waltz with her dance partner

* Seeing her so close to him, his leg nearly slipping between her thighs as he held her close by the waist and whirled her around the stage...Yoosung couldn’t help the jealousy churning in his gut, but more than that, he couldn’t help but compare himself to MC’s dance partner-imagining how different it’d be if he were the one dancing with her, his guilty jealousy mixing with his insecurities into a sticky concoction that made his chest heavy.

* He wouldn’t upright tell MC he was angry or jealous-but MC’s no fool. If she came home to Yoosung giving her the cold shoulder, she’d understand where that’s coming from and sit down with him to talk.

* Honestly, all Yoosung needs to hear is that she and her dance partner are simply good friends and colleagues, and that she’s in love with Yoosung, no one else.

* Having Yoosung meet her dance partner would also help-and whilst Yoosung’s jealousy may never fully go away, it’ll mellow out, and he’ll simply be glad to see MC enjoying her work, and you can be dang sure he’ll be there for her 100%, supporting her in each competition and recital.

ZEN:

* Whilst he’s a very, VERY jealous guy, he’s also a professional, so he’s actually quite calm when MC explains her profession and how she has a dance partner.

* Zen would insist on meeting this guy, wanting to be certain he has no ulterior motives dancing with MC-he’d never be rude to the guy, but he’d be a little stiff at first.

* Once he understands that he’s a standup guy that simply views MC as a friend and colleague, Zen will be more than satisfied. After all it’d be ironic for him to make a fuss when MC never fusses over him having romantic scenes with other actors, now wouldn’t it?

* He’s very supportive, and actually helps MC practice some dance moves whilst at home!

* He doesn’t really know much about classical dances, but he’s had some lessons before so he knows the basics at least, and if it comes to alternative dances or latin ones, he’s definitely good at them

* Besides...he’ll never pass up on an opprotunity to hold MC close to him, sliding his hands onto her hips as they sway together along to the music *wink wonk* 

* Just a supportive boyfriend really, plus, he’d totally gush about his fantastic dancer girlfriend on his social media lol~

JAEHEE:

* She’s honestly probably the only one to not be jealous...at all

* She finds MC’s profession wonderful, and is super supportive-as much as she is with Zen’s carreer!! Will never miss a competition or show if she can help it, and will even help MC practice at home as much as she can-even though when MC gets super close to her to practice some moves she’ll get really flustered about it lol

* The only thing that might bother her is that MC seems so graceful thanks to her years of dance training, that Jaehee wonders if MC feels that she’s too ungraceful. When she brings that up to MC though and MC furiously denies it, saying she loves Jaehee as she is and that she’s wonderful, then even that worry completely disissipates, and all that’s left is genuine excitement and support.

* She does want to meet MC’s dance partner eventually, if only to also congratulate him on their successful career; and if she finds out he’s a nice and kind guy she’ll be happy he’s MC’s friends (and hopefully hers too!)

* Honestly though...just imagine a lazy afternoon with Jaehee, the sun’s lower in the sky but still peeking through the curtains, illumianting dust particles in the air, Jaehee’s brewing coffee as MC chooses a dance track to play on her phone connected to a speaker, and as the music starts she sneakily comes up behind Jaehee, wrapping her hands around Jaehee’s waist, swaying them both to the beat. Jaehee laughs, her cheeks red as she turns around to kiss the corner of MC’s lips, when MC finds the opprotunity to take Jaehee by the waist and swirl her around, dancing with her in the living room, only instead of proper dance steps they just sway each other around, giggling every time they step over one another.

* im sORRY im a useless bisexual that dreams of having a girlfriend to do this with ok, let me live T-T

JUMIN:

* He’s actually a very posessive guy, and has been fully trained in classical dances, so when MC tells him about her profession and her dance partner, he sits there with his arms crossed over his chest, a frown on his lips.

* “And this dance partner of yours...how did you meet him? How long do you know each other? Is he in a romantic relationship? Has he ever expressed interest in you that goes beyond friendship?”

* It’ll take a while for MC to calm him down and will require yet another discussion about boundaries and posessiveness-while it can be cute to be jealous sometimes, obsessing over the other person isn’t, and Jumin never wants MC to feel that he’s pressuring her or being over-protective; so he’ll apologize, but ask to meet this dance partner, if only to ease his worries.

* Turns out the guy is not only a really respectful dude, but he also has no romantic interest in MC, and clearly says so to Jumin-mainly bc the poor guy’s terrified of the cold stare Jumin pins him with lmao

* Other than that, Jumin is fully supportive, and will never miss a show MC puts up for anything in the world-though sometimes he’ll bring Elizabeth the 3d with him so she too can experience the grace of dance lol

* He’ll oftentimes ask MC to dance with him, be it in buisness parties or simply during lazy mornings at home, happy for any excuse that lets him hold MC this close to him. 

* He’s actually an amazing dance partner, and MC will ask him to help her practice new steps from time to time when he’s at home

SEVEN/SAEYOUNG/LUCIEL:

* Of course he already knew about her profession since he did a background check and all, and he knew about her dance partner too-he even did a background check on him, back when he was trying to figure out who the hacker is, in case he might be the guy they’re looking for.

* He finds MC to be so, so graceful, and seiing her dance up close is a blessing; he really thinks she looks weightless in those moments, even more beautiful than usual as she seems to genially enjoy her time dancing

* He’s not of much help, but he loves grabbing MC and twirling her around when music plays, and even with no music playing, he’ll hum a tune himself, relishing in MC’s giggles as he holds her close to him

* They’re that adorable silly couple that dances around in their pyjamas whilst making breakfast, ending the little dance session with a kiss and the sound of laughter echoing across the house. 

* He can’t always make it to MC’s shows due to his job, but he’ll hack into the cameras of the theatre later on to make a DVD out of her preformance to watch at home later on-sometimes MC will join him in watching so she can take note of things she’d like to change or improve.

* When it comes to jelaousy, it’s true that Saeyoung does feel a pang of it when he sees the chemistry she and her dance partner have when they dance; but it’s not hard to notice when Saeyoung feels this way, and a kiss to his cheek followed by an ‘I love you’ can melt the negative feeling straight off of his body.

V/JIHYUN:

* He too finds MC being a dancer amazing, and is absoloutely supportive-he honestly not once even felt a tange of jealousy at her closeness to her dance partner, he was simply and whole-heartedly supportive and excited for her carreer. 

* He’d shyly ask if he could observe some of her practices to draw some sketches-it’s the best chance to study things like the line of action, and how a motion sketch can then be transferred into a full proper painting.

* Even though he’s pretty much given up on photography and switched to painting instead, he’d love to sneak some photographs of MC when she’s practicing her steps around the house; if MC notices him and asks him to join her in dancing he’ll turn bright red, insisting he can’t possibly match her, a professional dancer, when it came to dancing

* And yet he’d be yet again underestimating himself; he’s had dance lessons ever since he was a kid up until his late teens, so sure, he’s not a professional or anything, but he’s no novice either, and with some effort he can absoloutely keep up with MC

* This leads to frequent impromptu dance sessions around the house-Jihyun hates silence so there’s always music playing across the house, and MC will never waste an opprotunity to take a hold of Jihyun’s hands, prodding him to move forward and dance with her; she’ll have to guide his hands to her hips as he’d be too shy to do it himself at first, but once she gets him into it he’ll let himself relax, holding her close as they move to the beat, smiling as he leans his head to the crook of her neck.

* Just picture this: It’s early morning, Jihyun’s wearing his hair in a low ponytail as he’s setting down cups of coffee on the kitchen table, when a song MC loves comes up on the radio. He turns to her with a sheepish smile, knowing exactly what she’ll do-still in their pyjamas, MC runs around the table to Jihyun with an excited grin, grabbing his wrists as he lets her take the lead, letting her pace their first steps before he gets the hang of it and starts leading the dance instead; his movements are smooth and effortless, and he even dips MC down at the end, his hand on the small of her back, his one leg between her thighs as he supports her weight with one hand. He’ll smile, big and toothy and so unlike the usual poised Jihyun, giving MC a quick kiss before laughing and getting back up to give her her mug of coffee, taking a long sip from his to hide his blush in the bitter flavor.

* I have Big V Feels I’m Sorry :’)

SAERAN/RAY/UNKNOWN:

* He too knew all about MC and her profession from his background check before he brought her to Mint Eye; he didn’t think much of her dance partner at first, but as he started to develop feelings for her this jealousy grew and grew in him.

* While at Mint Eye he’d constantly ask MC questions about her dance partner, if they were close, if she liked him e.t.c.

* But everytime MC told him she likes Ray/Saeran, the jealousy would melt away, replaced by a deep infatuation instead

* After the whole Mint Eye ordeal and during his recovery, he’d love to watch videos of MC’s past competitions, and would never miss the chance to watch her dance up close; he’d never ask himself, but if she invited him to come to any of her practices he’d be more than thrilled, quietly observing her movements with an excited interest.

* It’d take a LOT of courage from him, but he’d eventually come up to MC, his cheeks red as he looked down and away from her. “I um-I’ve never-I never learnt to dance. And seeing you look so graceful I-”

* “Of course I’ll teach you Saeran!” she’d giddily agree before he could continue, and he’d be so shocked but happy-he genially wants to learn!

* She’d teach him some of the basics at first, but then during off season she’d bring him with her to practices so that her dance partner can teach her some things too since the steps are different for men and women in classical dances.

* He’d furiously blush everytime he danced with MC, biting his lip when she’d tell him to move closer to her.

* “Saeran you chest has to be as close to mine as possible-no, closer than this. Closer!” she instructed as she held his hands in hers, her chest flush to his as he slowly backed away embarassed.

* As he got bolder though....

* “Saeran, come closer than this.” 

* Well MC, if you insist...he took a hold of her hands, tugging her forward to him-before she could tumble over he slid a leg between hers, letting her head fall onto his chest, and before she could look up and speak, he’d lean down to kiss her.

* “Is this close enough?” he asks with a smirk and at that moment MC knew. She knew she’s created a Monster

* But she wouldn’t have it any other way ;)

-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character reactions!-

-masterpost-

[madisonrooney]

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit.  ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

[walnutking]

Here’s my review of Extraordinary You that quite literally no one asked for and the dang thing aired almost a full year ago, but I just finished it 5 minutes ago and I have thoughts.

I’ve just truly never been MORE frustrated about such a waste in potential. This was a story with such an engaging concept and a really likable lead girl and now I’m just left in a soup of questions. The first half I was so into it and thought it was so cute and unique, but the last 5 or so episodes felt like dragging myself through hot coals. I wanted to drop it, but I NEEDED to know what happened to badly that I stuck it out. I thought the ending would be worth it to truly know what happens. 

It was not worth it.

I’m fine with a bit of ambiguity in storytelling, not everything has to be revealed, even after the story is over. That being said, this drama is DRIPPING in ambiguity and plot holes. Like bursting at the seams, it was ridiculous. I felt like in the latter half, each episode was just painstakingly INCHING to the world’s worst finish line. We kept hammering in the same gd plot points for quite literally 5 hours. I couldn’t even truly be sad when Haru disappeared because we had spent SO MUCH time pondering on that very possibility, it’s like I was numb to it. And not one but TWO memory loss plotlines????? That’s literally illegal.

Speaking of Haru, I think that the actor who played him is actually very talented, but lord was he two dimensional. Because of the fact he had no true backstory other than liking Dan Oh, I could never truly connect with him. They were cute, but like does he even count as a real person? What are his hobbies? Drawing Dan Oh? They were so cute at first and I was like, wow, can’t wait to see them grow together, but that never happened??? He never gained much more depth?? Like I felt much more for Kyung honestly because at least my man had a backstory.

I don’t know how to end this so in conclusion, I’m going to list every single question I still have remaining which AT LEAST 1/4th of should have been addressed within the actual story I don’t think it’s too much to ask:

1. Literally why would an author use the exact same characters with the same names and personality traits in two different books? I honestly thought we were going to meet the author at some point, but apparently not! 

2. So Dan Oh was never really an “extra” in either book, was she? She wasn’t the main character, but she had a plot and backstory and many scenes surrounding her. Only Haru was a true extra and he deadass just stayed that way, other than falling in love with Dan Oh

3. Why did Ju Da pick Nam Joo??? She became self aware and obviously liked Do Hwa more, and I think her picking him would of been such a nice touch bc it would of subverted the expected by picking the second lead, which I think one upon a time was the moral of this story, but that went out the window at some point.

4. WHY DOES DAN OH NEVER TALK TO HER DAAAAAAAD ABOUT ANY OF THIS!!! And we never got resolution with her dad, among many things. 

5. Basically every big character except Nam Joo became self aware and for why?

6. Dan Oh’s two best friends, why did she never try and confide in them or make them self aware? Also why was Sae Mi a bully but also Dan Oh’s friend?? That was inconsistent. I’d be willing to give that one up to she was poorly written by the author, but I thought I’d throw it in.

7. Kyung’s brother just coming out like “I was self aware the whole time” for ultimately no reason. It added nothing. So I must ask again for why?

8. In the end they were put in an ambiguous other story I guess, but why??? Doesn’t that defeat everything we’ve spoken about, that none of these people had true free will and all they wanted was to create their own stories?? So why not just set them free in the real world?????

I’m stopping there because I could go on forever. I’ll be mad about this until the day I die. I myself could of written a better second half to this drama, and I am not a gifted storyteller. I think this show was full of many talented young actors who I can’t wait to see more of in the future, but whew, they were really shot in the foot with a lot of this stuff. Please share your own opinions if you desire and you made it this far, I’d like to know what others think. 

[knightmathias]

task 01: spring play audition ( macbeth ) !

notes: don’t give him macbeth thank u i want him to go batshit LMAO im kidding but rlly dont give him macbeth

i also couldn’t figure out how to put this in organically but mathias def knows that a LOT of the others are gunning for macbeth too!!! but he’s never been worried bc he knows for sure he’s always going to get the lead roles so he never really thinks about anyone else, i think it’ll be great for him to not only NOT get macbeth but not even a really big role full stop ? i don’t think it makes sense for heidi to give him a SMALL role maybe bc he IS technically really fuckin good but i also dont think heidi think it’s Best to give him a huge role anyway like she can see the Laziness in him and “acting for the wrong reasons” / not improving as an actor bc he’s never been in the spot to need to!!!!!!

Calling it a problem sounded so serious, you think derisively. Your hands are brushing over the small packet of coke you’ve placed on the desk, eyebrows furrowed. You’ve got ten minutes until your audition, and whilst Heidi doesn’t seem to be the type of person to appreciate tardiness, you’re not used to bending yourself to follow the rules. So you’ll be late. Big deal.

Calling it a problem, you continue thinking, getting your thoughts back on track. Calling it a problem was silly. An addiction would come in the form of your sister Ana, who could never stop herself. And even then, she’s fine. High every time you see her these days, maybe, but she’s fine -- Bad things don’t happen to the Knights. Only good things. Only good things.

Still, you sweep the bag into your desk drawer instead, out of sight. You don’t need it right now, the temptation was just a little too much when you have the bag in front of you; you’re certainly not nervous about this audition at all. Sure, you haven’t really worked on practising much -- but you never do, right? And sure, you’ve been more distracted as of late -- falling in and out of [the statue’s] bed, preoccupied by Orson’s death. But you either have the star quality or you don’t, it’s what your parents have always taught you. Working hard is good, but it’s for the ones that don’t have it, who want what you have. You’ve run through your lines a few times, you know it’s going to be good.

( And sure, you’ve taken to drinking more and smoking more and done a few more lines lately than would be considered smart. But you don’t talk about that. You don’t even think about that. What’s too much? What’s too far? When is enough enough when you’ve been like this, been around this, your whole life? It’s the glamourous life of theatre, baby, it’s just show biz. )

You take your phone out of your pocket to check the time. 4 minutes. Plenty of time then.

There’s a glass filled halfway of vodka and Coke on your bed stand, not quite finished from the night before. You pick it up and down it, even though it’s gone flat by now. The alcohol to take the edge off, but you won’t admit there’s an edge to you anyway. Liquid luck instead, maybe, but when have you ever needed luck? For the enjoyment, then, is what you reason. Why waste perfectly good alcohol?

By the time you arrive, Heidi’s voice cuts to you, unimpressed. “You’re twelve minutes late.”

“Had to make sure my hair was pretty,” you say charmingly, the cheek usually endearing to others. Orson would’ve loved your response, would’ve grinned and joked back, would’ve said something about the importance of appearance on stage. Orson would’ve ---

But it’s not Orson. It’s Heidi, and she doesn’t seem to think you’re being funny at all. 

“I think it’s best if you just start, since you’re running late.”

But you’ve already made your way onto the stage.

"Mathias Knight,” you say, stage voice on. Your teeth glint white in the light as you flash a professional smile, but Heidi doesn’t seem to return it. “I’m auditioning for the role of Macbeth. I’ve chosen to do Macbeth’s speech from Act 2 Scene 1 -- Enjoy.”

There’s no surprise on Heidi’s face at your announcement of choice, but you don’t let it deter you. Of course it’s predictable, to go for Macbeth and to do this scene, but does it matter what you audition with, when your talent will showcase either way? You want Macbeth and you’re going to get it, you always do. There was no point putting in more work than its worth, when performing Macbeth’s most famous soliloquy did the same job.

Heidi nods, so you take a deep breath and settle into your role effortlessly. You’ve heard the others talk about needing to have an emotional connection to the role they’re playing, and you’ve never quite understood it -- you’ve played characters you could hardly even fathom being similar to, but you’ve played them excellently nonetheless. Acting, for you, is not about the emotion, or the personal, or the leaving of your body behind. It’s about the skill and the technique and the way you perform it -- because that’s what it is, isn’t it? It’s a performance. It’s a performance and you’re conscious of that fact every moment you are on that stage, your own kingdom. You connect with the characters because you need to, but it’s always been on that surface level, knowing you are playing them. You are not Macbeth. That much is clear. But you’re a damn good actor.

“Is this a dagger which I see before me, / The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee...”

You’ve never known fear, or delusion, like Macbeth in this scene -- but that’s never been why you’re so good. You can push passion and emotion out of your voice so well that no one could ever see the difference, you can bend and contort your face in the same anguish and people will believe it. What is a tragedy to someone who’s never experienced the bad? It’s just: tragedy. It’s a word. It means nothing.

( Tragedy: a play dealing with tragic events and having an unhappy ending, especially one concerning the downfall of the main character. )

( Of course you’re the main character, you’re always the main character. There’s nothing forgettable about the way you hold yourself, the way you speak, the way you move. The downfall of the main character. But you’ve not done anything wrong, have you? You didn’t murder Orson. What’s the worse crime you’ve committed? A few stolen grams of coke? Petty thievery, small crime -- who is hurting from your lack of consequences? No one. You were born indestructible. You’re pretty sure you’re going to die that way too. )

( An unhappy ending. Darling, your story is hardly far from over yet. )

When you finish the soliloquy, that powerful feeling that settles in your bones every time you perform, you half-expect an applause. You were objectively good and there’s no other way that that could be twisted. Instead, you look out and only meet Heidi’s eyes, facial expression unreadable. For a moment, you’d forgotten, waiting for Orson to tell you how brilliant you were. 

But Orson wasn’t here. Isn’t it funny it only hits you in the gut every time you want something from him? His approval felt like an applause from an adoring crowd. His approval confirmed everything you’ve ever known about yourself, and you didn’t realise you craved it so badly until you were faced with the absence of it.

Several beats of silence. You’re waiting for her to say something, but when she doesn’t, you say, “So?”

Finally, Heidi shrugs. “It was an impressive performance. Truthfully, one of the best I’ve seen today.”

At that, you square your shoulders, basking in the compliment. What’s the best part of acting for you? You’ve heard others say things like slipping out of their own body and mind, into someone else’s. No, for you, you bleed yourself out on stage for this: the roaring approval.

But Heidi isn’t done talking. She adds, “I just don’t know if it’s enough.”

You blink. “Pardon me, but what?”

“What do you think about when you’re acting on stage, Mathias?”

The question takes you by surprise. “I think -- I think about the role I’m playing.”

Heidi shakes her head. “The thing is -- I just don’t think you do. I think you’re thinking about the praise you’ll get.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” You don’t have a bad temper, you’ve never been forced to. But irritation ignites within you, an uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling. 

She considers you for a moment, and you’ve never felt self-conscious in your life, least of all on a stage. She considers you for a moment, and you feel suddenly very naked, like she’s looking at something deep within you and she’s not liking what she sees.

“Thank you for your time, Mathias,” she says abruptly.

“No,” falls out of your mouth first, because you’re not used to being dismissed, not used to failing. She said it was one of the best performances she’s seen today, but suddenly it doesn’t feel enough. 

Her eyebrows raise.

“You said it yourself that I’m good,” you say hurriedly. “I’m the best, and you know it. You can dislike me all you like --”

“Mathias, I don’t dislike you --”

“But I know I’m good,” you continue, as if uninterrupted. “When I’m on that stage, it doesn’t matter who likes me as Mathias and who doesn’t; all that matters is that the audience does. I’ve been playing the lead my whole life for a reason, and they’ll all call it arrogance, but there’s nothing wrong in knowing that I’m good. That I’m the best. Who cares if I’m connecting emotionally to the characters? I’m one of the best actors on this program and it’s for a reason, and I’m sorry it’s not the reason you want it to be, but talent is a reason in itself. That’s what Orson told me. Orson said I have what it takes. Orson said I was going to do big things. Orson said --”

“Mathias,” Heidi cuts off neatly, and there’s something in her voice that you can’t place. Pity, maybe? But you’ve never been pitied before. What is there to pity in you? You’re the star. You’re always the fucking star. “I’m not Orson.”

The sentence guts you in a way it shouldn’t, and you blink at the aftermath of your outburst. 

“Thank you for your time, Mathias,” she says again, firmer. 

This time, you move off the stage, towards the door. The only thing you can think about is how badly you need a drink.

[holly-mckenzie]

Heyy! I'm back to shout in your askbox.

Any theories about the MA cliffhanger? Was there such a plot in the french version?

Would love to hear your thoughts if you watched the episode cause love reading whatever you write! Thankyou and take care ♡

(spoiler filled ask, if you didn't watch MA don't read!!!!)

dude....i am at the edge of my seat with MA omg i did not expect the show to take this turn and i think this isn't based on the original considering barış's character isn't the same? but i looooove the suspense and loved everything else about this episode like dicbar? dicle being an agent? beren seemingly growing up finally? the suspense about what serkan's hiding? THE ATTEMPTED MURDERER/STALKER?????? i saw one theory that the guy is going to go to dicle and be like break up with barış or i'll ruin your life with these pics and although i wanna say that won't happen bc 1 that's very cliche like do they haaaaave to break up bc of dicle having to hide something like every other dizi and 2 bc i mean the guy tried to kill him idk why he'd go through dicle now but at the same time kinda seems likely😐

anyhow long story short i love MA sm this episode was top notch what'd you think

hello anons, 

I did watch the episode and I’ve decided to answer you guys together as to not repeat myself.

I would first like to start by saying, there is no such plot in dix pour cent.

So here are my thoughts on the episode. I really did love the DicBar content or at least some of it. I loved how cute and flirty they are with each other. I loved that Dicle was able to see through his bs and that Bro was constantly calling him out on it... They have such a fun relationship and I love it.

In regards to the attempted murder/stalker plot... I’m sorry guys I didn’t really like it. Don’t get me wrong it’s so much better than all of the relationship drama that happened in episode 8-11... But I’m still not interested in the stalker plot. It really changes to the tone of the show, which I am not a huge fan of. But I guess that the new season of Dix Pour Cent does drop this week... so there’s that.

I’m confused about everyone’s reaction to the stalker

On one hand, I loved Barış this episode because he’s so funny and such a dork. I also love the flirtation and banter between them. Him playing with her hair + her hands will always get me.

LOOK AT THIS DORK:

But I also hated that he wasn’t following the medical advice + his nonchalance to the injury. I don’t understand why no one is taking Barış’s injury seriously. If the show really wants me to believe that he is a famous actor... then why is no one pressing charges?

Maybe it’s because my roommate is a nurse, but I feel like there should have he should have been in so much pain. Like when Dicle wakes him up he’s literally lying on his injured arm, which could have 1) been painful 2) could have open the stit. Also, he’s being quite reckless by not listening to any of the advice that people are giving to him. And I feel like someone should be pushing for him to be taken care of since he’s so famous.

On a completely different subject, I don’t know if you follow me on Twitter, but I once mentioned that both Baris and Beren waste food. And if he threw away the kebabs and pizzas that were brought I am seriously side-eyeing him. Like Barış Bey, people are literally dying because they don’t have food... why you being so wasteful.

Now on to Beren. Okay. So I have mixed feels about Beren and they are completely tied to my mixed feels about Kıraç. As both of you know, I don’t have any empathy for him at all. 

Me about Kıraç always:

So the resolution of the Mayda-Kıraç-Beren drama is really lacking because we again see Beren not being held accountable for her part in everything and again Mayda being hurt because of it. Like yes, I do think it’s important to reassure Beren that Kıraç still loves her and won’t abandon her.

But ultimately the Beren running away issue is really not about Beren and Kıraç. It’s about Mayda. She is the victim of their lies. She is the one that demanded answers and THAT’S what caused Beren to run away. 

So to have the resolution of the scene be about Kıraç consoling Beren is... stupid and completely beside the point. Beren is not the victim at this moment.

I would have loved if we instead got a scene where Mayda and Beren really talk through everything. They could discuss the divorce and how it’s due to Kıraç lying to her and how Dicle and Beren also lied. This could have been followed by Beren being like: “We... I did it because I love you. I didn’t tell you... I tried to get Dicle fired to keep the family togather” And Mayda could have been like, “Beren that’s not love... that’s being selfish. Part of being mature and part of loving someone is being honest and accountable for your mistakes.” 

Then they could have also followed that by having Mayda remind Beren that even though she is upset at Beren, she still loves her and though Kıraç and Mayda are getting a divorce, Mayda won’t abandon Beren.

That would have had been so much more of an engaging conclusion to that whole drama. It could have also offered such an interesting point of character growth for Beren when she gets fired from her Dizi. Ultimately, the way that MA deals with Beren getting fired also has her not being held accountable for her decisions. Like, yes, she is apparently sorry and realises her mistakes. But she doesn’t attempt to face the consequences of it, and Kıraç again offers to fix everything for her.

Instead, if you had the same scene of Beren being fired and but this time she decides to be accountable for her decisions because Beren has done stuff like this before... she has caused production to stop. If she accepted the consequences of her actions and seen better character growth. It would have set up an interesting connection to Dicle because Kıraç is always fixing Beren mistakes. So to have Beren be like no dad. I messed up, I can’t rely on you to fix everything for me, would have just been better.

In regards to theories sorry y’all... I don’t really have any. I will say though that if it comes to blackmail, I don’t think it will be Dicle that is blackmailed but Barış. Like maybe the stalker will threaten Dicle’s life and Barış will be forced to do stuff. 

The last thing I will say is the fact that as usual, they did Bro and Meral dirty. They had Bro and Meral in the same episode and decided not to have them interact? This is a personal attack against me. 

You know what would have been funny? If Meral came with Dicle to Barış’s house, and it's very clear that Barış wants alone time with Dicle. And everyone knows this... so Bro is like... Oh Meral, we should go... do that thing. Then THEY go on a date! 

It was a personal attack guys! Especially because Bro looked so good!

[migleefulmoments]

"There’s no way, if they were friends, as they claim, that they would avoid each other publicly like one of them has the plague." Jesus how obtuse can they be? Darren and Chris stopped interacting publicly because every time they did they got hounded on SM about it for days. And not even just to two of them, their peers like JTF got harassed about it as well. Like maybe if y'all hadn't been so damn embarrassing and understood boundaries they might have interacted more and done promo together.

Darren and Chris STILL get shit anytime one of them does anything that reminds fandom of Klaine, dating, love, or romance. They get bombarded with “CrissColfer” if they attend the same event or do something couply with their actual significant other. It hasn’t gone away in 5 years, it’s barely even died down and honestly, I don’t think they were ever that close that they even care that they have no relationship. They lead very different lives with very different interests. We all have co-workers who got alone with while working with them but we make no effort to have a connection outside of work. If we see each other we say “hey” and are genuinely happy to have that 15 minutes to catch up but after that is over, we make no effort to reconnect. I believe that is how Darren and Chris feel about one another with the added bonus of hating the Crisscolfer nonsense. 

I can’t get over how seemingly intelligent middle-aged women convince themselves that the lack of a relationship is definitive proof Chris and Darren are a couple. The rational conclusion when two people lead completely separate lives, ignore one another’s projects, don’t take photos together at parties, and only very rarely attend the same events even though they live and work in a very small community is that they are not friends. Especially when looking at the big picture-there is 

1. no credible evidence Darren is gay 

2. they have never been seen together outside of work obligations and that pretty much ended after season 2

3. both men have denied they were ever a couple

4. Darren is married to Mia and Chris has acknowledged Will is his boyfriend

5. Chris wrote an entire book about how much he hates being shipped with his costar. 

Mountains of credible evidence prove that Chris and Darren are not -and never have been- in a relationship but Cassie and Nonnie are convinced that is wrong because “they are never seen together”. I mean it’s sorta genius because it’s the best confirmation bias ever. The more they aren’t seen together, the more in love they must be! It’s unrealistic to believe that in 10 years of dating and living together-maybe being married- they have never once been caught by a paparazzi or a fan. It’s unreasonable to believe that not one of the millions of people who know about cc ever slipped and outed them accidentally.  Abby has claimed many times that Hollywood and Broadway are largely in the know and keep their secret and I get that - Darren is very charming and he’s a 4-time award-winning actor who “once spent five years playing a groundbreaking, iconic, romantic couple” so of course, anyone would bend over backwards to keep his secret. Darren knows a shit ton of people which means a shit ton of people are in on the secret. Now here is where I start to doubt- I would imagine that in 10 years a fair number of those “Hollywood people in the know” have broken up with a significant other who were “also in the know” and in 10 years I find it impossible to believe that not one of those jilted lovers was inspired to sell Crisscolfer to the tabloids for money or maybe for their 15 minutes of fame. Even if nobody was vindictive, I just find it hard to believe that not one person has got a little tipsy and blurted it all out.   

Here’s the original post: 

Anonymous asked:

Sometimes I think that maybe just maybe they really are just friends but then I think that friends wouldn’t hide like that, they wouldn’t be afraid to take pictures together, that it wouldn’t matter to hide just bc some fans think they are together. But they do hide which means that there’s really something to hide.

cassie1022 answered:

Nonnie, this is part of what keeps me firmly in this fandom. There’s no way, if they were friends, as they claim, that they would avoid each other publicly like one of them has the plague. They would tweet support for one another. C would have been publicly seen at H/edwig. D would tweet about C’s books and not pretend he doesn’t know what they are called when asked about them. The few events where they’ve crossed paths would have yielded pictures, given they spent five years playing a groundbreaking, iconic, romantic couple. When Chad mentioned seeing them when the appeared in ED’s show, they wouldn’t have looked at him like they wanted to vaporize him, and the list goes on and on.

ajw720

Look at C/onrad and J/ack, that is the perfect example of how two co-stars playing a couple that are friends in real life interact.  And it is called marketing. D and C as friends would boost both of their visibility.  

[zani-is-a-stan]

suzani watches the Sherlock unaired pilot

Opening

-       This version of John looks way more old and way more dad

-       That close shot on the gun tell the viewer that John is suicidal

-       The dark silhouette of the cupid statue kind of stands out. Given how the cinematography and shot framing is a lot sloppier in this version, I don’t think this is intentional. But if it was intentional, this would be a signal to the viewer that this is a love story.

-       Mmm, pass on both Anderson’s beard and this way of introducing the concept of a Sherlock

-       This title & credits sequence is so dated

-       Anderson with no inflection is boring

-       Dinner with wine is not a great place for John to be saying he’s broke

We meet Sherlock & Molly

-       We start to see the beginnings of the geometric and precise framing that are the signature of the show in that one shot of Molly behind the glass

-       Its nice to see that Molly’s character required almost no adjustment between the two versions. Given that she was the first character original to the show instead of the books, it’s nice to see that she stuck the landing so perfectly

-       It’s starting to be really obvious how loose the editing is. There’s a lot of dead air at the beginning and end of every shot before each cut. Much better in the final version.

The lab

-       This version of Sherlock seems a lot more accurate to the book Sherlock from Study in Scarlet than the series ultimately ended up being. He’s softer, more interested in interacting with other people than the antisocial, high functioning ASD (where’s the fic that explores that?) twanging brain haver he is in the first episode of season 1

-       I want to read a take on Sherlock that discusses him as having ASD and interprets the violin playing and the mystery solving as his stimming techniques

-       The camera shots in this scene are really starting to stand out as very different from the show. It’s not just the editing which is kind of thoughtless – these shots are poorly composed and poorly planned. I don’t think it would stand out so much if the final version of the show didn’t make so many deliberate and stylized decisions regarding with the shots and editing.

The apartment

-       The extrapolation of john’s family based on the phone became much cleaner in the aired version

-       Comic sans! I mean, mrs Hudson is better than that.

-       Mrs Hudson definitely checked out john’s butt …

-       “can I just ask … what is your street?” this was very good, if repetitive

-       Sherlock needs an assistant? This sherlock has a need for human connection that the other one doesn’t – and he has a lava lamp.

-       Ugh the apartment at 221B baker st looks so much more vintage in this setup. Not a fan.

-       This sherlock definitely cares more about what other people think than the final version.

-       Mrs Hudson is a much softer, premade character in this version. I like the final version better. She seems stronger that way.

The cab ride

-       So boring. Such greenscreen. Wow.

-       not just the greenscreen. the difference in the shooting and finishing of this sequence in the pilot and the aired episode is so incredibly improved that you can hardly believe there were part of the same thing.

-       TOO MUCH SYNTH

-       Sherlock has a far too human response to john’s compliments and more doubt in how accurate his deductions are

The crime scene

-       Im glad they changed sally’s outfit, and smoothed out sherlock’s taunting of her and Anderson’s affair. Ugh I wish they’d kept sally around. This show needed more normie/casual sherlock opponents. Lack of closeups in this scene do it no favors

-       They cut the Rache/Rachel clue. And btw, I do love how this was inverted from the book presentation in the show.

-       “no, there are two women and three men lying dead, keep talking and there will be more” – this sherlock prioritizes people over mystery solving, and that’s a little more humanizing as well.

-       When he’s deconstructing the scene around the woman in pink, there’s a switch in sherlock’s voice when he’s off camera. I’m wondering if maybe that’s a stat actor reading the script for some reason, or if they recorded the dialogue and the camera angles at the same time and forgot to switch when they were editing that shot? Makes sense given how messy the editing is throughout the pilot.

-       “do you know you do that out loud?” “sorry, I’ll shut up” “No, don’t worry, it’s fine” (pleased smile) --- this exchange is so accurate to book Sherlock and Holmes

-       This is not the same sally as the first episode. I had to check because I have a little bit of face blindness and there weren’t any closeups, but it’s definitely not her. Interesting how the actress who ultimately played her changed the inflection but brought very little new to the blocking.

a bit inbetween and the pink case

-       No Mycroft, hmm. Don’t care for it. It added a lot with a really nice red herring feel.

-       John returns to his place for absolutely no reason narratively.

-       I don’t care for the red herring moment where john looks at the pink case and wonders if sally was right and talks out loud about it.

-       The end exchange of this scene is awesome and should have stayed. “Donovan said you get off on this.” “And I said danger and here you are.” “DAMNIT!” It’s very funny, and it’s a fun spar between the two rather than the ultimate resigned tolerance that series John seems to settle into by season 2.

do you have a girlfriend? a boyfriend?

-       Sherlock not eating is a brilliant touch, I think that should have been there.

-       This version of the girlfriend boyfriend conversation is far more successful than the aired version, although I prefer the setting in the aired version. It’s flirtier, and the “Everything else is transport” line carries implications I prefer to the one we saw on on the official version.

-       Sherlock knowing the cab thing ahead of time really lowers the stakes.

-       Angelo and the headless nun thing is fucking beautiful. (although angelo is a bit of an upstager) But, the change in the plot to the John running and leaving the cane behind in the final version is much more relevant to the story.

-       Ok, so the cabbie drugging Sherlock did show us that John is smart in his own right (we never got enough of that), but it showed us Sherlock fucking up in a way that is inconsistent with the show version of that character. For us to buy that Sherlock is other level super genius instead of just very smart, he can’t make this kind of mistake. If he can’t make a mistake, then John can’t prove his own intelligence. I do think it was a good idea to put the police back in his apartment now, as it gives us more interesting and fun things about those characters, and the ultimate build to the cab ride and the incorporation of modern technology really contributed to the modernizing of the adaption.

which pill

-       WHOA that cabbie did just very much threaten to molest or rape Sherlock. Although if there were no women or gay men on the script team, I can totally see the writers not realizing that this line had that connotation.

-       And this version requires a lot more explaining of plotholes with dialogue in a way that is avoided in the final verion. This is unquestionably good, because there’s nothing more graceless in filmed stories than having plot explained with words, especially by a villain.

-       Taking the pills out of the bottle looks silly.

-       Final version cabbie is better. More self-satified and mean.

-       “Either way, you’re wasted as a cabbie” is a way better line in the final.

-       Taking him out of the apartment and away from the police phone call was A+ the right choice.

-       Everyone know the best cops scream “Who is firing, who is firing?” when someone fires a shot.

i’ve got a blanket

-       Sherlock saying “Yeah, maybe he beat me, but he’s dead” is a far shot from the man who shook a dying man and demanded to know if he was right or not. Again, this Sherlock is far more human and far less computer.

-       That bit with mrs Hudson at the end was unnecessarily mean, I’m glad they cut it

-       “I’m his Doctor.” – this lines should have stayed forever.

Overall thoughts

Ok, so overall changes between the pilot and the aired first episode. Plot was a lot more polished. They scrubbed every trace of human need from Sherlock, which I think was a good choice, at least for the beginning of the show. His literal only love is his own abilities as the show airs, which leaves him with a very interesting and exploitable weakness – his arrogance, where as pilot Sherlock doesn’t seem to care all that much when he makes a mistake. We did lose a couple of scenes that had a lot of good chemistry in them, but I think the plot was much improved overall for the changes. The change of Sherlock from being casually mean to people like Anderson to swatting away an irritating fly is very successful. The focus of Sherlock’s relationship with Lestrade seems of a higher priority than Watsons a little bit, so I’m glad that changed. The lead up to John shooting the cabbie was much better in the final

Honestly the pilot doesn’t look like a pilot as much as it looks like a proof of concept piece. The budget was obviously smaller: that’s why they reused the same restaurant set, it’s why the final confrontation took place in the apartment rather than a second location, that’s why the effects are missing or budgety, that’s why the editing was low-end. This as a pilot was sold on the impact of the actors and the bones of the script, not on any of the look that would ultimately make the show what it was. The color work between the first and second version of this alone was amazing.   I also think that the hair change in Sherlock was an excellent choice. It offsets BC’s face/head structure in a way that plays into the strangeness of the character in a much better way. Similarly, the coat and scarf that he wears in the series do exist in the pilot, but aren’t really a signature of Sherlock’s on-screen shape design in the same way.

I think the only thing I would’ve kept is the inflection, delivery & read on the girlfriend boyfriend scene, and the return of the “I said danger and here you are” exchange.

There’s a lot of talk about Sherlock’s sexuality and what was cannon in the books. TV Sherlock they seem to be confused about (Belgravia as an episode left me really confused about what statement the writers were trying to make there, which implies that they’re either not completely sure either, or they’re too straight to understand what they’re doing). In the books, Holmes chooses not to have romantic relationship because it stops his brain from working clearly – it’s a deliberate choice based on the Victorian concept of sex (and women, because they are clearly only sex objects) diminishing the capacity for clear thought and mental performance. This is not the same as him being asexual or aromantic as we not aro/ace people understand the concept in 2019.

Based on the scene as it airs, the girlfriend/boyfriend scene would leave me with the opinion that Sherlock is not just asexual but also aromantic. Possibly one of these by choice rather than nature. Based as how the scene plays out in the unaired pilot, I would think that Sherlock is celibate and also attracted to John, more likely gay than bisexual. (There was quite a bit of smoldering going on in the Sherlock to John direction.)

[hollenius]

re neurodivergent headcanons in Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul, I think the first time (a year or so ago) I read something where someone online suggested Chuck was somewhere on the autism spectrum (high functioning/Aspergers), I laughed it off as a ridiculous suggestion, because he didn’t “fit” many of the stereotypical traits seen in other fictional characters or in the popular conception of the topic…but in retrospect, I think that came more from my misunderstanding of the “spectrum” part of it than anything else. It’s definitely a plausible/possible diagnosis comorbid with the anxiety disorder(s) he canonically has.

·         We know Chuck’s a good actor (e.g. his ability to fool Jimmy in “Klick”) and is able to mimic and slip into different sorts of social behaviors (e.g. his ability to social climb from a working class or lower-middle-class family to the world of white shoe law firms), so he’s probably capable of using masking in most public settings. This is apparently a more common trait in autistic women, but men do it as well, if less frequently.

·         Studies asking about the long-term effects of masking seem to imply it takes a physical/emotional/mental toll on the person using it, which might explain why, by the time we see him in BCS, the stress of acting “normal” in meetings and the like, when compounded with the worsening of his anxiety problems, leaves him curled up under a space blanket for hours or even days afterward. Trying to compensate for multiple issues at once is probably even more taxing.

·         He seems prone to getting overwhelmed by things and either shutting down or lashing out in reaction. The most extreme form of the former is when he goes catatonic for hours/days in response to being tazed or put in the CAT scan machine; the most extreme form of the latter is probably him completely losing it and shouting/crying/having to be physically restrained by the hospital staff because he’s so upset about being surrounded by lights/hooked up to an EKG/being recommended for a CAT scan.

·         Contrary to stereotypes, Chuck is decent at reading people (or at least he’s extremely good at reading his brother and knowing how he behaves) and he interacts well with people within a work context, but he doesn’t seem to have any friends outside of it, or much in the way of a social life–the other lawyers hold him in awe as a sort of glorified animate law encyclopedia, rather than someone they would want to hang out with or chat with informally. (Though Chuck doesn’t come across as the sort who would be interested in chit chat with coworkers anyway...) Being totally housebound and cut off from the outside world is upsetting to Chuck primarily because it interferes with his work as a lawyer–we never get the sense that he’s upset about it having any effect on his interpersonal relationships, because he doesn’t seem to have any. This is probably why losing Rebecca hit him so hard. He’s got almost nobody else, besides Jimmy and Howard, and he’s really not emotionally open and unguarded with anyone.

·         He’s got problems dealing with his emotions in general. Even when he’s trying to do his little pain/emotion/medication journal as part of his psychiatric treatment towards the end of season 3, he seems to struggle with articulating his emotional state–he’s just got “average” written down for most of the incidents he’s logged, but he’s not able to write down what his emotion is after he’s unable to sleep after insulting/lying to Jimmy to drive him away for the final time, and he seems to abandon writing in the journal after that & rapidly deteriorates psychologically. From what we see of him in the show, he seems to alternate between being extremely repressed and completely exploding and freaking out.

·         Some people have no interest in having or wanting friends, but I don’t think Chuck’s one of them. He seems pretty lonely. He remarks to Jimmy at one point in season 1 that he doesn’t really mind him hanging around to work on the Sandpiper case in his house because he’s glad for the company, which makes his systematic driving away of Jimmy and the few other people in his life all the sadder. The whole root of Chuck’s jealousy of Jimmy in the first place is that people like Jimmy, and they don’t like him. He makes attempts at being friendly, but struggles to do it on anything deeper than a surface level. (Of course, a lot of Jimmy’s friendliness and charm tends to be pretty shallow too, but I don’t know that Chuck really appreciates that or can tell the difference–all he sees are the results.)

·         He’s tone-deaf with jokes–he famously botches the attempt at a lawyer joke to his wife in the opening flashback in “Rebecca”, but he also makes an awkward attempt at humor when talking to Kim in a present-day scene later in that same episode (“the early bird gets the worm, which is good if you like worms”), which leads to some uncomfortable forced laughter from her. Some people are just serious by nature, but they probably wouldn’t bother trying to make jokes in the first place if that were the case. The fact that Chuck keeps trying to make jokes and failing suggests that there might be some impairment in that area. He sees Jimmy do it, and he sees it work for him, but can’t really manage it himself. (He seems to do ok with deadpan sarcasm though–that comment about young people loving local print journalism is probably my favorite Chuck quote.)

·         He’s very verbal and articulate, but his speech patterns can be a bit odd. He can be indirect and overly formal, which may or may not be an overcompensation for the more stereotypical autistic behavior of being too direct in speech as to be insensitive. He usually winds up still coming off as elitist and assholish anyway, though he may not be intending this/aware of this. When he’s nervous or upset, he tends to devolve into talking at people rather than to them, such as when he starts rambling on about probable cause and assorted legal precedents to the police officers who show up at his house in “Alpine Shepherd Boy”, without noticing that they aren’t even standing at the door anymore. He’s got a lot of information rattling around in his head, which he throws out as a defense, but not always in a way that is helpful; I don’t think talking about Latin translations of the Hippocratic Oath to the doctors sedating him without his consent before sending him in for a CAT scan is doing him any good (NB: the actual Hippocratic Oath is in Greek anyway, and the phrase Primum non nocere dates from a later period, so either Chuck has no idea what he’s talking about, he’s conflating two related things, or he’s freaking out enough that he doesn’t really care at this point).

·         He seems to ignore other people when they’re talking to him altogether if something sets him off or distracts him–when Howard tells him about Kim quitting HHM and teaming up with Jimmy, Chuck immediately tunes him out, to the point where Howard has to ask him if he’s still listening. Chuck says he is, but then walks off in the middle of Howard talking because he’s still distracted by what he said before, sending a confused/concerned Howard following after him. This is at its most extreme when he goes into his rant in “Chicanery” and is totally oblivious to both Galley pleading with him to stop and everybody else in the room staring at him in growing horror/disbelief until he’s far past the point of no return.

·         I’m actually sort of curious about Chuck’s abilities in court prior to the visible deterioration of his mental health, because although he clearly knows a lot about the law, his personality is a bit off-putting. I don’t know if he just sort of brute-forced his way through things because of his knowledge of obscure case law, because based on what I know from the lawyers I’m friends with, there are all sorts of subjective factors that can come into play in a court setting. The sort of things that would drive someone like Chuck nuts, like jurors who deliberately choose to ignore evidence because they’ve decided in advance that they don’t want to convict someone of a crime. (To be fair, this would also drive me completely insane, because I have a really hard time at my own job dealing with people who think the rules shouldn’t apply to them for various reasons.)

·         Chuck has an EXTREMELY black and white view of the world, and a sort of obsession with the authority of law and the importance of following the rules. He’s got really strong perfectionist tendencies within himself. I think a lot of why he gravitates toward the law is that he seems to find all the rules and procedures comforting, in a way--there’s a uniformity to the way the legal world works, and a framework in which everything proceeds--constraints which are equally binding on all participants.

·         Maybe he just knows a ton about the law because he’s a lawyer, but it might also fall into the case of it being a special interest, since his knowledge of obscure case law seems to be regarded as extensive and superlative even by other lawyers. (He reads FEC and ISO reports for fun!)

·         There’s something slightly elliptical about his thinking, and he doesn’t seem to realize that other people aren’t following his thought patterns. (He repeats his “One after Magna Carta!” justification for knowing the Mesa Verde address to Kim and Jimmy  in season 2 as well as to the officials from the Bar in season 3, which seems to suggest that he thinks it is a very obvious and logical connection that other people should grasp, though I’m not sure that it actually is outside of his head.)

·         I’m not entirely sure where the line between nervous tics and stimming is drawn, but he’s got a lot of little fidgety behaviors that come out especially when he’s stressed, especially scratching or shaking or wringing his hands. (The script to “Chicanery” indicates that he’s nearly drawing blood from digging into his hands while on his big rant, but it’s not visible onscreen because we’ve got that wonderful/agonizing slow zoom onto his face instead.) It's not clear if it predates the EHS or not. Sometimes there’s a clear tie in his behavior to perceived pain from electricity, but sometimes there’s not--sometimes it seems to result from him trying to distract himself from the electricity instead, like when he’s trying to stand outside the house for two minutes in “Bingo”. Sometimes he does it while he’s standing around in his house, thinking about something else, like while rehearsing arguments against Jimmy before he heads in to court in “Chicanery”.

·         There’s a pretty strong preference for routine/predictability & distress when it’s altered. (Most people probably would not get so suspicious if a single newspaper wasn’t delivered one day, for example. If it was repeated or frequent or a pattern, yes, but not for a single paper.) His control issues are brought up pretty frequently in fandom discussions; maybe he’s a jerk, maybe he’s just not able to function well in unpredictable situations, maybe it’s a little of both (e.g. Chuck being really bothered by Ernie bringing him the wrong kind of apples, then saying that it didn’t really bother him that much...but then telling Ernie to write it down so that he would get the right apple the next time, indicating that he actually WAS bothered by it)

·         It’s possible his perceived sensitivity to electricity grew out of an existing natural sensitivity or aversion to extremes in light or sound or anything else, but this is pure conjecture because we get so few flashback scenes. (Speaking only from personal experience, I don’t think I’m hurt by electricity, but I can hear lights when they’re turned on, and get uncomfortable/anxious under certain types of light, like fluorescents in big box stores when out shopping, so maybe someone who’s more sensitive to sensory things in general might be more prone to developing a sort of learned distress out of that.)

All of this is very inconclusive! But it’s totally plausible as a reading of the character.