#love it when other people enjoy it but i never had grand expectations that i'm gonna get 5000 readers so i'm just posting this for

[natewriteslol]

Delicious In Dungeon Having a Crush on You HC's!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:

Summary: Just like the title says, how they would act if they had a crush on you including how you find out!

Pt.2 w Kabru, Shuro and Falin!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*

Senshi:

-I'm not going to lie it is going to take a fat minute for him to fess up his feelings for you let alone for people to notice because it is the little things that stand out.

-Senshi is really good at keeping secrets and is a really private person and fights for his peace

-So what if he may slip a little bit more food onto your plate, make your favorite dishes only for you if the ingredients for it just so happens to be in his bag, is always the first person to get you out of a dangerous situation? It's all out of convenience and being kind

-But his lack of casualty is also really telling like when giving out compliments he sometimes has a tinge of shyness to his voice, "You look...very nice y-yes"

-The way you find out he has a crush on you is because he eventually comes to a realization that he cannot keep running away from his problems because that has never ended in anything good and confesses his feelings for you

-It happened whilst everyone was asleep and it was just you two alone by the fire, the embers were crackling and you always enjoyed watching it ablaze while talking with Senshi. Eventually he piped up after staying silent for so long and having you take the lead in talking,

"I don't mean to corner you, nor do I expect you to feel the same but...I have feelings for you, genuinely Y/N. And, meeting you in this party means the world to me as in a way you all are unique treasures but you. I couldn't imagine just walking away without letting you know how much you mean to me."

-Honestly, Senshi is one of the least in denial about this predicament with his feelings and will come to you sooner

Marcille:

-A person who completely avoids her feelings for you like the plague and will deny like her life depends on it

-She swears to others that it's just because you're an amazing friend!

-She brings you your favorite sweet treats, offers to cast magic for your slightest inconveniences, she just so happens to bring books that are about the things you mentioned one off or are a specific interest you love

-The contrast of how she treats others vs. You is so jarring and it's really obvious that she has a crush on you. She is really protective and a bit possessive (not in a weird way) over you and she does not really care about the other people in her party like that

-Anytime she's afraid of something, she holds onto you, Marcille is VERY touchy with her crush

-The blonde blushes pretty consistently and is really shy when it comes to you and tries to appear nonchalant but fails miserably

-It's honestly so bad that even Laios caught on after Senshi threw him a clue and one time when it was just him asked her, which resulted in her coming clean and being VERY distressed as if she committed a crime

-The way you find out she has a crush on you is when you're on a mission in a dungeon. She was near a weeping willow exerting mana, rumored to grant wishes to anyone who asks.

-She held a piece of paper and was on her knees, looking up at the grand tree on the soft blades of grass. She began speaking to the tree once you silently walked in through the cave hole to check on her and the half-elf was completely unknowing of your intrusion,

-"Please they're the love of my life, and I'm not asking to force them but maybe...show me a sign if they like me back. They make me feel like no other and I am just so confused and I need guidance, Ancient Willow."

Chilchuck:

-Deny. Deny. Deny. Deny.

-Oh, and did I say deny

-He absolutely hates being the person caught with egg on his face and being in the wrong, so the fact that he himself Mr. 'No Party Romances' violated his own rules?

-He wants to fall into a hole right on the spot

-While he is a grown ass man and doesn't want to be a coward, Chilchuck doesn't want to face this problem head on surprisingly (sarcasm)

-He shows his love for you by trying to keep you the safe the most out of everyone in the party, scolds you HEAVILY when you mess up that could've cost you your life

-Some may say that it's just Chilchuck's explosive nature, Senshi was actually the first to see through it and grow suspicion over his behavior but honestly didn't have enough evidence for his theory and was shot down by Laios and Marcille

-It's not extremely obvious his slight shift in treatment until you had been kidnapped by the Chain Devil to protect Chilchuck from it's clutches

-And multiple times have members of the party have been kidnapped and although shaken he was able to keep his cool...but this time it was heavily different

-He let out a horrified scream that they had never heard from the Half-Foot before. He scrambled to his feet after watching you getting pulled into the darkness, his eyes were glassy and full of panic as he asked the rest on what they should do

-When they get you back, you were too tired to really stand so you laid in the sleeping bag as everyone else slept as well, but the brown haired man never left your side and watched as you slept

-...or so he thought

-You find out about his true feelings as you laid in your sleeping bag. As you were drifting in and out consciousness but felt light weight on the side of your body and Chilchuck began to talk to you, asking if you were awake

-"Good, you're fast asleep...I hope you know that I'm not hard on you because I don't like you that's...not even close to the truth.

I love you, so much and...I get so damn scared for you."

Laios:

-Constant. Monster. Facts.

-One of the things that makes Laios so attracted to you is that you listen and like when he nerds out so please be prepared. You're a safe space to spew out knowledge and it means the world to him

-Consistently gives you small little gifts, but then sometimes gifts to the others so it doesn't look suspicious. Maybe it was something with the light but, the look in his eye as he gave you the bracelet and put it on you was so different.

-Usually doesn't care about other people being in a towels or shirtless, but when it's you he feels like a victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. When he sees your collar bones and he tries to keep it very lokwey, but is highkey blushing

-Gives you some sketches of your favorite creatures, always "accidentally" makes your favorite dish for dinner nights, pouts a little when you need to be gone without him for a little

-If you're ever feeling insecure he might open his gob a little too much, "I get maybe why you'd feel that way but, if you ask me I think it's pretty hot" he says with a blank, enthusiastic smile on his face not at all understanding how that could come off

-You find out that the knight has a crush on you the first time he gets absolutely hammered with Senshi, Chilchuck as he was convinced by the two to get drunk

-The bar was packed in one of the "safe spaces" in town and you and Marcille were kinda the designated sober people within your party, and whilst the half elf was in the bathroom you decided to get some fresh air and got up from the stool seat

-"Whatcha' doing party is jus' getting started?" Laios asks

-You shot him a look over the shoulder and responded softly, "I need some fresh air hun, I'll be right back."

-And there went his inner dialogue. Out his mouth.

-"Woah, how sexy. Being in love really sucks sometimes since I'd really do tricks like a dog to be with them good god."

-The look you gave dobered him almost completely, and if that wasn't enough Marcille was right behind him and heard every word

-Love is cringe but he is free I guess.

Part Two:Kabru, Shuro and Falin!

[livwritessometimes]

End With The Spring Fling

: Part 12 (Oscar's Version)

: The Spring Fling is finally here!

: Prev

: Series Masterlist

: Main Masterlist

: author's note: And with that Oscar’s Version is finally over! Can’t believe it was a 12 part series, feels much longer than that. Can’t wait for other versions to come 💕

…

It was finally the time everyone had been waiting for. It was time for the names to go live. There was a sense of nervousness in the air, several students looking towards each other, wondering who their match was going to be. The Head of the Department of Mass Communication made her way towards the stage with a mic in hand. "I'm sure you all are excited for the grand reveal?" she questioned as cheers erupted in the venue. "Before we get on with that, I would like to call someone to the stage. You see, without this person, you would not have this reveal tonight. So please put your hands together for Ms. Y/n L/n, the person who came up with this idea," the HoD said as she passed the mic to Y/n.

"Ahh, I was not expecting this at all," Y/n said as she let out a nervous laugh. "I don't even know where to begin. I am so glad for my friends, who had to deal with me during this; I know it wasn't easy, and I really appreciate you guys for being there for me," Y/n said while looking at Alex, Dylan, Daniel, and Pierre. 

"The truth is that none of this would have been possible without a certain someone's help. You see, I had no idea how to get the form up and running, and that is when my dear friend Daniel told me about this guy who can help. Let's just say the ride from that hadn't been the easiest at first, I'll admit, but over time it had become the best part of this entire project," Y/n said, smiling at the memories of her and Oscar. 

"But of course life doesn't always go your way, and I messed things up with him. So what I'm trying to say here is that, if you end up finding someone through this, I hope you hold onto that person. I hope you love them and cherish them the best you can. So enjoy your night, because the results are out," Y/n said as she got off the stage.

The entire hall was filled with excitement as people pulled out their phones to see who they got. Y/n made her way towards her group when she saw him standing in the middle of the dancefloor amongst the chaos.

"Oscar?" she said as she made her way towards him.

"Did you mean that?" he questioned.

"What?" she said.

"Did you mean what you just said up there?" Oscar asked again, with a sense of urgency in his voice.

"i-um" "Yes, I did, Oscar," Y/n finally said after overcoming the surprise of seeing him there. 

"I'm sorry I left yesterday. I just did not know what to say to you at that moment. God had I known that you felt the same, why would I have don-," Y/n was cut off by Oscar grabbing her face and kissing her.

"God! Why do you always have to talk so much?" Oscar asked before he leaned in again.

Y/n could hear hooting in the distance, and as she pulled away from Oscar, she turned to find the source of this being their friends, watching everything that had just happened. 

Clearing his throat, Oscar said, "They're never gonna let this go, are they?" "Oh yeah, be prepared," Y/n said, shaking her head, and the two joined the dancefloor.

"Fair warning, don't let Dylan intimidate you; he likes to give the dad talk to the guys I'm dating," Y/n said, cringing at the memory of said 'dad talks' that Dylan was so fond of.

"So we're dating then?" Oscar questioned, looking at Y/n, who looked a little flustered.

"I can leave if you'd like," Y/n said as she pulled away from him.

"Oh, hush you," Oscar said, pulling her even closer than before, slowly swaying the song that was playing in the background.

… Tags: @regalbanshee | @be-your-coffee-pot | @mrsbrxkkxr | @princessria127 | @moonraysandstars | @prettiest-at-the-party | @theblueblub | @magixpracticality | @slytherinholland | @overlyexcitedoutlaw | @marvel-at-stucky | @crumbssss | @a-beaverhausen | @felicityforyou | @gigigreens | @jas0nluvr | @khaylin27 | @imsiriuslyreal | @cwiphswmwasohmm | @wobblymug | @e-nonsense | @raizelchrysanderoctavius | @brekkers-whore | @vintagefucksstuff | @aexitizen-ln4 | @redstappen | @iamred-iamyellow | @tsireyasgf | @ghost-of-student-sufferings | @saachiep81 | @lozzamez3 | @ravisinghs-wife | @elizamoe133 | @anthonylockwoodandco111 | @formulaal | @luvsforme | @annabellelee | @a-disturbing-self-reflection | @emryb | @grovelingmen | @illicit-affcirs | @iwilleatyourgod | @youre-on-your-ownkid | @originaldreamerdragon | @landorris | @mountvesuvu | @chezmardybum | @littlegrapejuice | @spitesfvl-blog | @juleshadalittlelamb | @vicurious28 | @niyu2208 |

[fictionalreads]

Can you please do an Armando x reader angst 🙏 I don’t know abt what lol I JUST WANT HEAPS OF ANGST SO I CAN BALL MY EYES OUT AND I WANT THIS MAN TO BE GROVELLING LEFT RIGHT SND CENTRE 😭 lol sorry abt that love ur work bae💗💗 Make sure to get heaps of rest and stay hydrated 🧘‍♀️💆‍♀️🫶

A/N: Soooo... reader didn't wanna talk to me. Or more accurately I think, Armando wanted all the attention. I'm sure I'll eventually be struck with inspiration for an Armando x reader angst and I'll definitely tag you in it, but for now I hope you enjoy this Armando angst.Title is from Lonely by Benny Blanco and Justin Bieber.

No One's Listening And That's Just Lonely

Fandom: Bad Boys

Prompt: Armando reflects on times in his life that he's felt alone.

Warnings⚠️: Our boy is lowkey depressed in this one. Might be a line that could be seen as morbid.

PHOTO IS FROM @yeahnohoneybye I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO GIVE THEM CREDIT WITHOUT TYPING IT OUT LIKE THIS

Armando Aretas was used to being alone. After being ripped from his mother’s arms at just six years old, he learned to embrace the feeling. He was forced into preparing for his mother’s grand plan which included gun training, fight training and emotional resistance. There was no room for a six year old’s sadness over being alone. The people his mother had training him definitely weren’t the type to go and cuddle with, they were more likely to punish him for being so weak that he expressed his fear. Not that his mother was any better when he was with her.

“Otras personas te decepcionarán, mijo. Confía en ti mismo,” she’d say when he was young and upset that he couldn’t play with the other children in the prison. He was small, but it was a prominent memory from his short time with her, the first lesson she taught him.

He should’ve listened to her, maybe then he’d have heard her subtle warnings about herself.

When he was eighteen, a freshly minted adult that was on top of the world, he had thought her old saying paranoid. He had loved going out and meeting people, befriending them. It came naturally to him, but his mother had her people keeping him on a tight leash. The few times he went out, he kept his cover pretty well, never telling anyone anything real about himself but just enough they wouldn’t be suspicious. 

Until he met a girl that is. She had been different from the quick fucks he’d had before, holding actual conversation with him and keeping him on his toes. He’d loved her spontaneity, it being a breath of fresh air from the rigid routines he was used to. He had slowly dropped breadcrumbs of what his lifestyle was really like b behind closed doors, testing the waters to see if she was about the life or if she’s run for the hills. Every small test he set in place for her she passed with flying colors. He was so sure she could handle it that he told her everything. At first it seemed like he was right about her, she stayed by his side. Then one day she disappeared, no word from her at all. He went to her place and saw she had packed some things, it looked like she had been in a hurry. He initially worried that she went to the police so he played low for a few weeks, but when nothing happened, he just felt hollow.

The one he was supposed to rule the world with was gone, she had left him. He spent weeks questioning every interaction. Where did he go wrong? What signs had he misread? Did he really misread them or were they obvious and he just refused to see what he didn’t want to? Had she ever really loved him? Why wasn’t who he was enough for her to stay? Why was he destined to walk this life alone?

Thinking back on it, his mother hadn’t been pleased his attention had been split and probably had her killed.

Prison hadn’t felt as alone as he was expecting. He knew other people would be around but he’d been surrounded by people all his life and still felt alone. His cell was in murder row, the nickname for the solitary unit he was in. He wasn’t exactly friends with the others in cells in his solitary unit, but they were better than nothing. He spent time with them sometimes when they got the chance to go to the yard, sometimes preferring to workout and enjoy his hour in the sun alone. 

It probably helped that his father would visit him at least twice a month, more if he could swing the travel time. It had been interesting getting to know the man he had thought was an enemy. He hadn’t attempted the corny get to know you spiel, preferring to stick to business which was fine by Armando. Armando had learned a few of the mans quirks just through the small amount of conversation they had. But his father usually showed up to ask him for information, an effort to cut down his extremely long sentence, so it lacked the warmth that would chase the cold feeling of loneliness away.

A loneliness that hit worst at night when he would stare at the gross ceiling of his cell and wonder what could have happened if he had known his father from the start.

This alone was different. He was lying down in the boat his father had put him on to flee Miami, blood slowly dripping out of his side. The motor on the boat had long ago canned out on him, he didn’t have the strength or the tools to try and fix it. He was currently floating in open water, no land in sight. He wondered if he would bleed out, or starve to death first. Maybe he’d dehydrate, he had no access to fresh drinking water. 

He figured the loneliness felt different because for the first time, he didn’t have a tether to something else that brought him out of his self pitying. His mother was dead. He didn’t have anyone he loved waiting for him to come home. His father had sent him away knowing he’d probably never see him again, albeit he also probably assumed Armando would survive. But what was the point? Everything he had been taught growing up was a lie and everything he did ensured he couldn’t come back from those actions with a clean slate. For the first time in his life, he hoped the police would catch him. 

He didn’t want to die feeling the worst feeling in the world, feeling like there was nothing for him. He’d rather keep living and find hope for a life he could build that he should have had from the start.

Translation:

Other people will disappoint you, my son (darling). Rely on yourself.

Taglist (I'm gonna tag for all Armando pieces unless you ask me not to):

@yeahnohoneybye @bootlegroach @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful

[justanotherflemethstan]

I have finally finished Veilguard. I have already voiced my critiques (critique 1, critique 2, critique 3 & critique 4) and I largely stand by them. so instead, here are 5 things I absolutely loved about Dragon Age The Veilguard.

1. Mourn Watch

Mourn Watch, Mourn Watch, Mourn Watch. Wow. wwowowowow. Everything, from Rook's background, their interactions with Emmrich and unique Mourn Watch dialogue options throughout the game, to the location and the lore and Myrna & Vorgoth, was Perfect. I wouldn't change a single thing and the only difficulty I have with the Mourn Watch faction is not making all of my future Rooks Mourn Watchers too. If bioware makes Mourn Watch themed merch I will buy ALL of it. if any of you are making Mourn Watch themed merch please hmu.

(also, can I just say, I bet that at least one of people responsible for Mourn Watch has read The Locked Tomb. you just can tell, and I say that as a compliment)

2. Grand Necropolis

Is it a cheat to have the first two points be kind of about the same thing? Who cares. The Grand Necropolis was AMAZING. I could spend an entire game within its walls and never leave. In fact, I WANT to spend an entire game within its walls. We need a Grand Necropolis DLC. I want to know EVERYTHING there is to know about its lore and its customs. I am truly obsessed. Special thanks to all the level artists and level designers involved in making Grand Necropolis happen.

3. Davrin and his romance

Davrin's romance was just breathtaking. Him and my Rook felt like soulmates and I loved loved loved every interaction they had. Everything from Davrin's character and his story arc to the voice acting and the way his romance with Rook was written is just fantastic. I probably won't be able to romance him again bc I ship him with my canon Rook so hard. Davrin easily goes into my Top 5 favourite Dragon Age characters of all time.

4. Combat

I've played a sword and board warrior and I had a blast. I was playing on Normal/Adventurer difficulty and admittedly by the end of the game my Rook became a bit OP and was insta killing almost everything that moved and bosses took about 8-10 hits. But I'm really really looking forward to experiencing the other classes and experimenting with different builds/party comps/difficulty settings. The combat was truly a highlight of this game for me and I'd say that it's probably my favourite Dragon Age combat system of all the 4 games now. Which is really not something I expected to say going into the game.

5. Companions and their personal quests

The devs promised us a diverse and lovable set of companions and imo they truly delivered. I liked doing companions' personal questlines the most, and I loved how they were all very different and didn't follow the same structure or story beats. Companions also all had different personalities and quirks and their interactions with each other were memorable and kept me engaged with the game even when I was struggling through some of the slower parts. The Veilguard did indeed deliver on The Veilguard.

___

I know all these are pretty subjective and I appreciate that everyone might have a different experience with any or all of the above points. I just felt it'd be only fair to be as vocal about the parts of the game I enjoyed as I was about the things I didn't like.

[awheckery]

Nola Rose's Big Birthday Poll

This is Nola Rose:

She is my best girl, my babylove, my beloved little butt and my most precious evil eel, and in one week, she will be one year old!

Recently, I ordered her an Embark test, in the hopes of one day reuniting her with one of her siblings or other family members, and to maybe get an idea of what other health problems I could expect in the future.

I was not expecting any surprises on the breed front, because the rescue had Nola's original paperwork from her "breeders," indicating her mama was a brown Cocker Spaniel named Spruce, and her daddy was a registered blenheim Cavalier King Charles named Fellow. AND YET.

...and 7.2% something I did not expect at all. Full honesty, I don't see it, but maybe it explains a few things about her?

ANYWAY. For Nola's impending birthday, I thought it might be fun to survey other people, to see their best guesses at the third breed in Nola's genetic cocktail. I've pulled all poll options from an article on the most common breeds for Cavalier crosses, and additional photos and possible clues to her ancestry below the read more.

Psst, for folks coming back for the answer, check the pinned reblog!

Starting from the top, BABY PHOTOS, of Nola Rose and the two sisters the rescue picked up from the puppy mill auction.

That photo of Nola on the left was the photo in her Petfinder listing, the one I saw by accident in the middle of the night that made me fall in love with her immediately. I honestly have no idea how she was the last of her siblings left to be adopted, but I will never not be desperately grateful.

Maybe it was because she had the dramatic eyebrows and mutton chops of a civil war general, I can't say. In more recent photos, you can see that the eyebrows and bushy cheeks have subsided, but the insanely luxurious eyelashes remain.

Her color has darkened immensely since I brought her home in August. She used to be a much lighter sable, and fully blonde on the top of her head.

Speaking of which, sable isn't a breed standard color in either Cavaliers or Cockers, and her ridiculously long chin beard (which you won't see in any of her photos because I have her groomer trim it off) doesn't appear in those breeds either. Coincidence?

At just shy of a year, she's hopefully maxed out at 18 pounds, and she's unbelievably leggy, with an outrageously long body and the deep chest of a racing dog. (She's also fast as hell, good god.)

Her fur is unbelievably silky, save for a coarser ruff over her shoulders and trailing down her spine, and her cocker-fluff booty feathers. Her back end was trimmed down substantially before the above photo. Her tail might be the softest part of her, and I love how it's both silky and curly.

Behaviorally... she's. Something.

Nola has the strongest prey drive of any dog I've ever met, including that time we babysat a rat terrier mix named Ella The Killer. Nola's little heart is so full of murder that I have to close curtains so she won't hurt herself trying to break through the windows to get at bunnies. She is a grand champion at "breaking the necks" of her toys by way of viciously shaking them.

Nola likes to burrow! She tunnels under blankets, rugs and throw pillows, and her favorite way to sit On A People is between our legs when we're in recliners. She likes to feel confined. She also deeply enjoys being held, and she asks to be picked up by my father at least once a day, even tho she's perfectly capable of jumping into his lap by herself now.

She LOVES to lie in the sun until her little body is radioactively hot and her mouth smells like hot rotting garbage, which is actually extremely weird, because she's our second sable dog in a row to have solar-powered halitosis and I'm not above begging people for answers. If you have a dog that has especially stinky breath after they've been in the sun, indoors or out, please talk to me because I'm dying for answers.

Ahem. What else.

Nola is disturbingly smart, and has no concept of obedience, but an excellent grasp of the concept of naughtiness. She knows exactly which items in the house are Forbidden, and which ones will get our attention the quickest if she takes or otherwise threatens them. She also knows the names of most of her toys and can distinguish between them when she's feeling cooperative.

Her favorite way to wake me up when it's time for work is to jump up on my bed, pounce on me, and oh-so-gently bite the tip of my nose. (I know I shouldn't encourage it but it's so sweet I may die.)

She investigates new people by aggressively sniffing their eyes.

She is my tiny daughter with every disease, but despite her allergies, and her asthma, and her megaesophagus, and her subluxated hip, she is the happiest, most delightful little being in all the world.

I lov her.

[pilferingapples]

Since you've read most of Victor Hugo's books, how would you rank them from best to worst, and why? I really want to know your thoughts. Always love to hear it <3

!!! THANK YOU THIS IS SO SWEET and also so hard but here we go!

Les Miserables yes it's my favorite but I also do think it's the best! The most ambitious of his works story-structure and character/theme density and frankly? He absolutely lands it. I have been arguing with and about this book for over a decade now and I expect I will be doing so for the rest of my life, because it's worth it. I probably don't have to argue hard for it in top spot on the Les Miserables Webbed Site, though, so moving on:

Ninety Three /Quatre-vingt treize Not my second favorite but honestly probably just as good as LM but in a different way? Much more compact and focused, and feels every bit of the influence of more recent political events in France at the time, but just as ambitious in terms of the arguments and themes it's trying to cover. The ending is something you can have eighty feelings about in an afternoon but it is always unforgettable. Deserves to be so much better known. Toilers of the Sea /Les Travailleurs de la mer  My actual second favorite Hugo novel! A big Romanticist nature-focused love letter to the Channel Islands and to the sea! A mix of delightfully unreliable Nature Facts and Hugo's own observations about the place, that Nature-focus is always convincing either way with Hugo's descriptions. It's so very different from most of Hugo's later novels, but also *so* good, if you're willing to just sit back and enjoy the view . Gilliatt is a Forever Fave. Please more people read Toilers, it's a delight. And it has an Octopus Fight! The Man Who Laughs /L'homme qui rit Victor Hugo's Revenge on English History! I could feel my knowledge of actual English History Facts peeling away as I read this. Incredibly described scenes, iconic central characters, Ursus is one of the best-written characters of all time (though I have learned that some people have apparently never met a guy like this?? he is such a Type though!) . There's a wolf and the wolf is named Homo. After Les Mis, some old Hugo fans were lamenting about how far he'd strayed since the days of Notre Dame , and I think The Man Who Laughs feels a lot like a return to that old , over-the-top Goth style of Hugo's,but stronger, in keeping with the way his writing had grown over time-- until the end, when everything kind of feels like it wraps up too abruptly. Which makes sense! Hugo was finishing it up while his wife Adéle was in her final illness, and it makes sense that it would show--but I think it does show, and keeps the novel from being quite all it could be. Notre Dame de Paris I know it's either Hugo's most famous or second-most famous novel, but I really do think it's not as solid as the others! Which isn't a roast on him, it's a good thing for an author to get better over time--but it still leaves this novel feeling kinda messy. I can see Hugo trying to do his signature move of pulling together multiple separate plot/themes into a triumphant grand finale, but he hasn't quite got the knack yet. Plus there's still a lot of elements here that feel like Hugo relying on tropes a bit (and horrible tropes at that, too) instead of entirely speaking with his own voice quite yet. (also ohman. the Issues. but I'm trying to keep this post from being nine million screens long) All of the above range from "absolute masterpiece" to "not an entire masterpiece but still iconic", and then there's Hugo's Early Stuff, so: Bug Jargal - honestly it's not fair of me to even include this, it was a novel he wrote as a very young person, on a time-dare. If I'd written a Nano novel in high school it would have been SO bad. And this is bad! It's SO bad!! But you can still definitely tell it's Hugo by the way he makes sure to tell us, AFTER the story is over, that EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE BOOK DIED, EVERYONE, EVEN THE PETS. Stunning. Peak Romanticism XD (again though. THE ISSUES. whooof.)

Han d'Islande: Í have not even read this one. HUGO was down on this one later in life. I Dare Not XD (I probably will someday). But it has a polar bear and drinking seawater from skulls and inspired some very questionable behavior from the fans (attempting to drink seawater from skulls!) so I gotta acknowledge it!

Honorable Mention: the novelas

Not quite in the same group as the novels, but I think both Last Day of a Condemned Man and Claude Geaux are excellent, super-focused stories about the injustice of the prison system and the issue of capital punishment. Obviously they can't have the range of his novels, but that's not the point--they are much more direct statements on a single issue and they're really intense and effective in that!

This was fun! thank you for asking! And I'd love to hear your own thoughts on this , if you ever feel like writing them up:D

[sapphires-and-silver-linings]

Half-Life | Chapter Four

You realized then how delicate this all still was.

Pairing: Plaga!Leon S. Kennedy/F!Chubby!Paranormal Investigator!Reader

Tags: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Angst, Sexual Tension, Masturbation, Blood, Body Horror, Animal Injury & Death

Notes: Heeeeey, guys. It's been a minute since I last posted, but here is chapter 4 (finally)! My summer has been more busy and stressful than I ever could have imagined, so I'm happy to finally be able to finish this chapter, which is the longest chapter of anything I've ever written at just over 14k words!!! I keep breaking my own personal record every time I write, it feels like lol. I also think this is some of the best writing I've ever done and I'm extremely proud of it! Not sure when chapter 5 will come out, as school is starting back up for me soon and a couple people I know irl are getting married this fall, so I'll be traveling a lot as well. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know your thoughts! (And here's a little behind-the-scenes tidbit: the painting I describe at the beginning of this chapter is actually in RE4R in the grand hall!)

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You awoke before Leon, for once.

You couldn’t stop yourself from sitting up on your air mattress and looking at his curled-up form, finally allowed to take in his appearance fully without having to sneak a glance or risk embarrassing yourself and him by getting caught staring.

You had yet to see him so at peace until this moment. He was laid atop his blankets, nearly in the fetal position, one long arm tucked under his pillow while the other was slung across his exposed midriff. His appendages were retracted again and his tail was hanging off the side of the bed, twitching slightly in his slumber. His breaths were deep and even, and his messy blond hair covered his closed eyes.

Never in your life did you think a literal monster could be so damn cute—so damn attractive in ways most humans hadn’t been to you before. Even the ones you dated. You wondered what that said about you.

As you gazed at Leon, you were reminded of the day before, a lovely warmth settling over you like that of the sun spilling in from the window above.

You could feel yourself blush as you recalled him carrying you across the bridge; how he had plucked a flower just to stick it into your hair; the fact he was willing to dance with you in the dilapidated ballroom simply because you asked; the way he played into your little game as you sat upon the throne, faces so near, you could brush your nose against his if you had just moved a little bit closer.

But then he had pulled away, leaving you breathless… and confused.

You weren’t sure why he would humor you with the flirting and the lingering glances and the gentle touches just to distance himself again—why he was holding himself back.

It was maddening, and you struggled to muster the courage to ask him about it or take matters into your own hands. Because, if you were honest with yourself, you were terrified of what it would mean if you did.

Worst case scenario, he would reject you and send you away. It would sting, but you had grown accustomed to the feeling; almost expected it by now. Besides, you were going to leave anyway, weren’t you?

Best case scenario, though? He would reciprocate and then… what? What could come of this? Would you still go home and let this remain as some passionate, short-lived fling? Would you work out how to stay and leave your entire life—friends and family—behind? Or would you come and visit him when you could manage it, living some kind of half-life split between your world and his?

Every outcome you could think of seemed to hurt, and you thought maybe it would be better to keep things as they were; tense but platonic.

However, being with him was so easy. Natural as breathing (when he wasn’t stealing your breath away, that is). Sure, there had been hiccups and misunderstandings. The both of you were stubborn and set in your ways, but you put your differences to rest so quickly. 

But god, were you different. The type of different that you thought before meeting him would never work. As a human, he was handsome. Devastatingly so. Could have been a model, had he chosen another career.

And, most notably, he could have had anyone he wanted.

You had come to love your body with all its curves and marks, but you doubted he would even look your way if you had crossed paths in another life.

You knew it wasn’t fair to yourself or to him to compare who he was to who he is now, considering how much he had gone through over the years and his transformation. However, you couldn’t help but think the attention you were getting from him came from loneliness and nothing more.

If anyone else had been just as stupid and nosy as you, he probably would have acted this way towards them in your stead.

Could you so easily be replaced?

Your chest clenched painfully at the thought and you forced yourself to look away from him, eyes bouncing around the room until they landed on the painting hung on the nearby wall.

It was a beautiful depiction of the castle—how it must have looked when it was occupied by people instead of dust and crumbling stone. The colors were vibrant, and a couple in the foreground were walking away from it, arm in arm. You admired it for a long while, feeling a sense of serenity overtake your anxious mind for a moment.

And then memories of the day prior flooded it instead, how you and Leon had spent the rest of the evening making crude wooden frames for the paintings you had “borrowed” from the castle, carefully finding the best places to hang the new pieces on his once empty walls.

Leon acted like he didn’t care, letting you decide for him, but you caught him glancing at the artwork from time to time, a gentle smile on his face at the way they brightened up his home.

You knew once you left he would be lonely again. You hoped if you could make these changes for him it might be enough to keep him content, even for just a little while. And, selfishly, you felt that if you couldn’t have him, you could at least inject remnants of yourself into his life. Maybe then he’d think of you the way you knew you’d think of him until your last breath.

Everything about it was unfair.

You heard a rustle and a quiet call of your name, your gaze meeting the half-lidded one of Leon as he sat up to look at you. He let out a yawn, his impossibly wide mouth gaping open in a way you once thought to be terrifying, those razor teeth glinting in the low light of the morning sun. Now, as he blinked the sleep from his red eyes, you found it more endearing, like the maw of a cat. Precious in all its sharp edges.

“Good morning,” you told him softly, a smile playing on your lips as if you hadn’t nearly worried your teeth through them moments ago.

“Mornin’. You been up long?” he asked as he swept his hair from his face. You wished you could do it for him, but you pushed that thought deep down instead.

“Not long. Was just looking at the painting,” you replied, half-lying as you pointed at the artwork in question.

His gaze trailed up to it, a small grin alighting his bizarrely beautiful features. “It really was a great idea, bringing them back here. Makes the place a lot less depressing.”

“I have those, occasionally,” you joked, pulling yourself to your feet. “I’m gonna start breakfast if you’re interested in something other than fish.”

With a tilt of his head, he asked, “What’re you makin’?”

You smirked as you walked up to him. “You can find out for yourself if you get dressed and meet me downstairs.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, catching you off guard by leaning in close, so tall that even sitting down he was the same height as you were standing. “So demanding, bunny.”

You scoffed. “Forgive me. Please get dressed and meet me downstairs. Better?” 

“Baby steps.”

Splaying your hand against his chest, you teasingly shoved him, “Whatever. I’ll just cook without you.” 

He grabbed your wrist, clawed fingers cool against your skin, causing a shiver to run through you. “C’mon, you’re breaking my heart here.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, pulling slightly against his hold. “Then be good and do as you’re told.”

He sighed dramatically, releasing you from his grip. “Yes, ma’am.”

You grinned triumphantly, gently tapping your finger against the tip of his nose. It caused him to scrunch up his face in a way that made you laugh, and then you turned on your heels and strolled to the door.

You glanced back at him as he stood and stretched. “Bacon and eggs, by the way.”

“Now that’s something I can’t pass up.”

“Figured.” And with that, you were on your way.

You kickstarted your morning by brushing your teeth and washing your face in the sink, then quickly got dressed so you could begin working on breakfast.

Leon was swift to join you, staying out of your way as he would be little help with his claws but keeping you company regardless. You made sure to leave his eggs runny and his bacon undercooked to abide by his more primal eating habits.

Soon enough, the two of you were at the table, sitting across from each other as was becoming the norm. It all felt so… domestic.

“Got any plans I need to know about?” he inquired after emptying his plate.

You swallowed the bite you had been chewing, glancing out of the nearby window. “It’s a nice day out. Pretty warm for autumn. Would that lake trip I mentioned yesterday be out of the question?” 

“Don’t see why we can’t. And there’s lots to see. I think you’re going to have a good time.” 

“With you? Always.”

You could have sworn a faint pink rose to his face, but he was quick to stand and place his used dishes in the sink, so you couldn’t be certain.

After a quick prep for the trip, you headed down to the lake, Leon helping you get onto the boat, which rocked violently as you stepped onto it, to your dismay. He chuckled as you grappled his shoulders to steady yourself, slowly lowering onto the bench beneath you.

“Not too keen on a swim, huh?” he teased you.

“Not fully clothed, at least,” you muttered in reply.

He simply smirked at that but didn’t respond. 

Leon smoothly directed the loud motorboat to the first location you had agreed upon back at the house, which was a small cave that held a wooden shack inside. It was such a strange little place, but you liked to hear the echo of your voices bounce off the cave walls, as well as the sound of the boat gently slapping against the dock.

The headless statue with the dark stains on it—that looked an awful lot like old blood—made you uneasy, but you could see yourself camping out at a place like this.

After that, Leon said he was taking you to what he called “chicken island”, which made you laugh. 

“Can’t imagine why they’d call it that,” you mused.

“It had chickens there if you can believe it,” was his deadpan response. 

And he didn’t lie. Although the birds were no longer present, many rusted cages full of straw nests were stacked across the small area and worn feathers littered the ground. There wasn’t much to it, as he had warned, but you felt the need to at least say you had been to such a silly place.

He then took you into another cave, pulling up to a large dock with only your flashlight as a guide. You climbed up the ladder to the deck above—a place that you had passed through to get to the lake in the first place—to sit on a crate and eat your lunch.

Time was passing rather quickly while out on the water, and you worried if you spent too much time dawdling, you’d have to come back the next day and waste precious hours you could be doing other things.

The end of your visit here was coming up sooner than you’d like, after all. 

You were halfway through your sandwich, giving the room a more intense sweep, when your eyes fell upon the elevator in the corner. You had pointed it out before, but Leon wasn’t keen on using it, as the generator keeping the thing in service had long since lost fuel. 

Apparently, there had been a shooting range with moving targets on the floor below, to your bewilderment. There was also one inside the castle and another in the mines beneath it, though Leon told you it was too dangerous to trek the old shafts. 

You glanced at the counter next to the elevator and a thought came to your mind. “Hey, Leon, you said there were moving targets in the shooting range, right?”

He looked at you quizzically but nodded, mouth full of sliced ham.

You giggled at the sight, but continued your questioning, “So if they were moving, was someone controlling them?”

He swallowed thickly before answering, “Yeah... This guy I just referred to as ‘The Merchant’. He popped up all over the village while I was trying to save Ashley. Helped me a lot by selling me supplies. He was in charge of the shooting ranges around here.”

“How did he know where you’d end up in time to set up shop? And how did he avoid getting infected with the parasite?” 

Leon clicked his tongue. “Your guess is good as mine. He was… weird… but he did me a solid, so I figured it would be best not to ask questions. Even sold me some things to live on after I turned. He never came back after that.”

“Do you wish he did?” you asked, unable to stop yourself from prying. It was a bad habit, you knew, but you couldn’t help it.

You wanted to get to know Leon in every capacity, even though leaving would only hurt worse if you did. You must've been a masochist, then. 

He sighed wearily, crossing his arms. “If I’m being honest… every day I wished someone would come back. Didn’t matter who. Used to lay awake at night and think about Claire or Ashely or Ad—” he paused at that, and you were going to ask what name he was about to say when he continued, “Anyway, I used to imagine them coming to find me. Just to say hi, I guess. To see how I was doing. But they never did. Not that they should. I told Ashley not to come back for her safety, and to not tell anyone I was alive. Don’t know why I hoped she’d break her promise.”

“Well,” you started, reaching over and wrapping your fingers around his hand, “at least I’m here.”

“Yeah, and I’m glad for it, even if it's just for a week.” He was staring down at your knuckles and you wanted nothing more than to coil your arms around him, but you refrained.

You considered him for a long moment instead, all your overthinking from earlier being tossed out of your mind as you promptly made a decision, saying, “I could always come back. Make this a yearly trip or something.”

His gaze jumped up to your own, then, shock evident in his pale features. “And why would you do that?”

You let out a huff of laughter. Was he really that clueless? Well, you weren’t about to give him the full truth—that you were utterly infatuated with him—instead replying, “Because I’m your friend, aren’t I?”

“Friend,” he repeated, voice low. Was there a hint of disappointment in his tone, or did you imagine it? “Yeah, I guess at this point, you really are. But I don’t know if it would be a good idea for you to come back.”

“Why?” You felt hurt by that, but you tried to hide it behind a nonchalant attitude, attempting to sound more curious than bitter.

“We’re wasting daylight,” he said instead of answering you, standing up from his crate. “We should keep moving.”

You stood up, too, confusion and frustration circling in your head like vultures. “Fine, but this conversation isn’t over, Leon.”

“Hm,” was all he replied, already making his way to the boat before you even finished zipping up your backpack. 

The short trip to the other side of the cave was one full of awkward silence. You didn’t want to show that you were annoyed, but it was difficult to mask it while he was giving you the cold shoulder.

You realized then how delicate this all still was. A few days together was not enough time for him to fully open up to you. You were upset, but he had a stormy history—one he wasn’t keen on sharing.

Whether it was to protect himself from the vulnerability or spare you from the weight of his past, you didn’t know. But you wanted nothing more than to assure him that he meant something to you. That he could trust you.

You kept your mouth shut.

Despite the change in attitude, Leon was still quick to help you out of the boat. It was something you appreciated, given your apparent lack of sea legs.

Your concerned thoughts were replaced with a renewed sense of awe, though, as you shone your flashlight over the cave walls and rushed forward. Leon simply followed behind you while you explored the place, as he made a habit of doing since your arrival.

You found another headless statue stained in dark brown, to your disgust, but not much else resided in the labyrinthine tunnels.

You went back to the boat, and as you were about to leave the area altogether, you pointed out another small dock nearby. “What’s over there? Can we go?”

He seemed hesitant, shoulders tensing, but he eventually nodded, pulling up alongside it.

Once on solid ground, you were swift in finding a painting on the cave wall, which was a large and very old map of the lake with what looked like a whale in the center.

“What is that?” You asked Leon, the uneasy silence from just before fading as your curiosity took root in its stead.

He grimaced as if remembering something terrible. “Del Lago. Giant fish monster in the lake. I killed it, though, so don’t worry.”

“Ah, a Spanish Nessie, then,” you teased despite your horror at such a concept. “Must have been old, if this painting is anything to go by.”

“Its body sank to the bottom of the lake pretty much as soon as I downed the thing,” he said, looking up at the depiction of the creature. “It’s almost a shame, what happened to it.”

“Why, cos you killed an ancient majestic beast?”

He turned to you with a smile. “No, cos I wasted all that meat.” 

You laughed and he chuckled in response, the awkward tension from earlier finally giving way to the easygoing banter you enjoyed so much.

“C’mon, there’s more to explore,” you urged, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along.

Near the mural was a shrine with two large hands sticking up from the cave floor, a head sitting in either stone palm.

Well, that explains the headless statues, you mused.

You moved on quickly after that, the cave giving way to a forested path. You made a face as you skirted past a sacrificial altar, gripping Leon a little tighter.

After having to crawl underneath a tiny gap in a stone formation, you made it to a fork in the path, a small building to your right, and a winding trail to your left.

“What’s over there?” you asked Leon as you pointed to the trail, leaning down to wipe the dirt from your clothes. 

He seemed to freeze before responding a little too quickly, “Not much. And that cabin just leads to another dock. We should head back to the boat.”

“Oh, c’mon, we’re already here! Might as well take a peek!” you chirped, marching onto the trail. 

Leon didn’t argue, but he was tense as he followed you up to the end of the path.

You were more than a little confused by what you found there.

“Graves?” you questioned aloud as you looked upon the two crosses made crudely of sticks, names carved into the wood. They weren’t next to each other like you’d expect, but spread apart and angled toward the center of the dead-end path. “How strange. The only other ones I’ve seen were in the church cemetery.”

“Yeah, strange,” Leon muttered behind you, sounding almost… nervous? You wondered why.

You leaned down to the cross on the left, barely able to make out the name “Luis Serra Novarro” on the wood. An old lighter was on the ground beside it. You wondered if it even worked anymore with how long it looked to be sitting there. 

You then crouched before the other cross, “Major Jack Krauser” etched messily upon the surface.

“Well, his name isn’t very local-sounding,” you joked of the latter.

Leon didn’t reply, but you were too distracted by what was dug into the ground in front of the cross to comment on it. It was a large knife with an engraving of a snake on its rusted blade.

“Wow, that’s cool,” you mused, reaching out to pull it from the dirt. It felt like a waste to leave such a well-crafted weapon just sitting there.

“Stop!” Leon barked, lunging forward and yanking your hand from where it brushed against the scales.

Shocked, you pulled away and stood up, taking a step back at the snarl on his face. “Whoa, what’s wrong? The thing booby-trapped or something?”

He sighed, his expression turning weary instead of angry. “No, just… would like to respect the dead.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Respect the dead? You piled up human corpses at the entrance to the village. Not sure how that’s exactly—” You stopped mid-sentence, realization hitting you as you took in the miserable look on Leon’s face. “You… you knew these guys, didn’t you?”

He grimaced at your words but slowly nodded in response.

“Who were they?”

Leon crossed his arms over his chest tightly, as if to hug himself, before jerking his head to the grave on the left. “Luis helped me and Ashley. He actually saved me from him, too,” he said, looking at the grave to the right. “He was killed by that very knife.”

“Why bury this guy next to your friend if he murdered him?” You were flabbergasted by this whole thing, desperate to make sense of Leon’s strange actions.

He winced at that. “He was my mentor. Trained me to be an agent in the first place. Without him, I don’t think I could have survived.”

“What caused him to change?”

Leon decided to plop onto the ground, his tail whipping in agitation along the dirt. You joined him, sitting cross-legged beside his slouched figure, waiting for him to say something.

“He was betrayed by the very country he fought to protect. His whole unit was wiped out and he was badly injured, unable to fight like he used to. He ended up going MIA and joined the cult. They infected him with the Plagas, too. I had to fight him. I had to—” he stopped to take a steadying breath, “I had to kill him. With that same blade. His blade.”

“I’m so sorry, Leon,” was all you could offer him, placing your hand over his and squeezing gently. He closed his claws into a fist and squeezed back.

“I buried Luis first,” he began. “Had to go into the mines to retrieve his body, ferry it out here. Then I went to the island on the other side of the castle to find Krauser. The whole place had collapsed in on itself, but I had hoped I could get to him. Dug in the rubble for days, but… couldn’t find a body. The knife is all I had left of him, so now it’s here.”

“I see,” you said quietly, staring down at the muddled reflection of Leon’s dirt-covered leg in the rusted blade. “Why’d you place their graves so far out of the way?”

“It’s secluded. Quiet. Peaceful,” he replied, head tilting towards the sky and closing his eyes. “Figured I would bury Wolfie here, too, when he eventually dies. Just thought it would be a good place to…”

You saw him swallow back his words.

“A good place to what?”

He sighed and shook his head before looking at you, those red eyes so hauntingly melancholy, it made your heart ache. “A good place to rest.”

The two of you sat quietly in the dirt, simply holding hands and watching the breeze ripple through the foliage surrounding you.

He’s right, you thought, comforted by the shade of trees, yet still able to make out the blue of the sky above, it is a good place to rest.

You knew Leon grieved the life he once lived, so evident in the way he carried himself—the way he spoke. But this kind of loss was news to you. You never realized just how much weight he carried.

You were determined to lighten the burden in any way you could.

“Come on,” you told him, finally standing. “We have one last stop, don’t we?”

He didn’t need your help to get to his feet, but he still took your outstretched hand, giving you a small, grateful smile when he towered over you once more. “Yeah. We do.”

Before you knew it, you were back on the motorboat, heading straight to the center of the lake for your last location.

You had seen the old, half-sunk fishing vessel from the shore, but wanted to explore it last for the hell of it. You were glad you made that decision, hoping that spending more time on the calm waters might lift Leon’s spirits.

He came to a stop at the port of the large wooden boat, gracefully exiting onto the dilapidated vessel before reaching his hand out and pulling you onto the algae-slick deck with him.

“Careful,” he warned, releasing his hold on you. “The boards are pretty damaged. Wouldn’t want you to fall through.”

“Yes, sir,” you teased, but you took your time walking around, just in case. You heard him chuckle as you shuffled slowly forward, giving him a lighthearted glare in response. 

There really wasn’t much to see of the place, only able to access the front of it. 

You leaned against the railing of the bow after a brief sweep of the area, looking out onto the blue, blue water. It was beautiful, and you could see why Leon would spend hours fishing out here beyond catching a meal or two.

You glanced over your shoulder at him, finding him leaning against the front of the cockpit, his eyes already on you. You wished you knew what he was thinking when he looked at you like that. You hid your blush by turning back around.

You placed your hands on the railing, a light giggle escaping you as a thought crossed your mind.

“What’s so funny?” he questioned, and you knew he was smiling without needing to face him.

You tapped your fingers on the wood. “You ever see the movie Titanic?”

He scoffed but didn’t answer, instead stepping closer. Before you knew what was happening, he had gently tugged your arms up, holding them in the air as he leaned down to place his chin on your shoulder. Your breath was caught in your throat by the proximity, his own tickling your cheek.

“Was this what you had in mind, bunny?” he asked you, voice low and teasing in a way that made your stomach flip. You kept your arms up as he slid his hands down to rest on your waist and you wondered if you would pass out from your inability to pull oxygen into your lungs.

You needed to get yourself together, so you forced out a nervous laugh before saying, “If only we had Celine Dion playing in the background. I think we’d be dead ringers for the remake.”

Leon laughed heartily. “I can’t imagine they’d do a remake of such a nineties classic.”

You giggled, turning slightly to meet his eye. “They remake everything these days.”

“Well, I don’t think I have what it takes to play Jack, but you’re pretty enough to go on the big screen.”

Oh. 

That compliment made heat flood your whole body, though you didn’t want him to notice it. “What are you talking about? You’re practically Leo DiCaprio two-point-oh.”

“Mm, maybe ten years ago,” he mused, pulling away from you, to your chagrin. “C’mon, we should head back to the house.”

You pouted as you turned to face him. “But I don’t want to yet!”

“Well, there’s not much left to do out here,” he replied, as if coaxing you to follow his lead.

But that wasn’t exactly your style, now was it? 

Instead, you let your hair down from its messy bun, kicked off your shoes and socks, and yanked your shirt over your head.

Leon’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as you stripped in front of him, pulling your jeans off and leaving yourself only in your underwear. You could tell he was trying not to stare, focusing solely on your face as he choked out, “What the hell are you doing?!”

Still, you saw his gaze drop to your bare skin. You felt utterly exposed, but you weren’t ashamed.

In fact, you felt good.

You felt free.

You sat on the railing of the boat, smiling wickedly at him as you flipped your legs over the edge. “I told you if I was going to have a swim, it wouldn’t be fully clothed, didn’t I?”

Before he could say anything else, you plunged into the water.

It was so cold, you locked up for a moment, your body shocked by the sudden change in temperature. You stayed under for a few seconds, willing yourself to adjust before breaching the surface.

You wiped the water from your eyes, blinking up at Leon as he hung off the bow of the boat. It looked like he was about to dive in after you, as if he was worried you wouldn’t come back up.

His concern for you warmed you right up.

“Are you serious?” he interrogated, breathing out a sigh of disbelief. “You said it was too cold to bathe out here, but you’ll take an afternoon swim?”

“Definitely too cold for a bath,” you replied, nodding sagely. “But you should still come join me!”

“Absolutely not. You’re crazy, you know that?”

You smiled, all teeth. “What was your first clue, sweetheart?”

He scoffed. “You showing up here in the first place, probably.” 

“So…” you began, “you should learn to expect the unexpected. And jump in. I know the cold doesn’t bother you, Leon.”

He sighed, staring over at the shore for a moment before turning to face you once more. “Fine.”

You whooped in victory as he stepped back from the railing, and then bit your lip as you watched him pull off his shirt, revealing his lean, taut upper body. His legs were obscured by the boat as he tore his pants from them, but you got a good look when he leapt onto the ledge of the bow. You had to crane your neck to take in all of him, grazing your eyes up his muscled form, covered only by boxer briefs.

Before you could stare for too long, he dove into the water behind you, and you covered your eyes as it splashed up in a small wave.

He quickly rose to the surface, flipping his blond hair from his face.

“See? Not so bad,” you told him, paddling closer to where he was treading.

“Guess not.”

You were about to speak again when you felt something large slither along your leg. You yelped, pulling your body away from the sensation. “Oh my god, something just touched me!” 

Leon shrugged. “Probably just a fish.”

“No, no, it was definitely a snake!” you told him, eyes staring down as if you could see into the dark water.

“It’s possible. There’re vipers in the area, I told you that before.” He seemed to be taking joy in your distress and you glared at him angrily for it.

“Leon, if that’s true, I need out RIGHT now.”

You began to swim towards the motorboat, suddenly very over this whole situation, when something touched your leg again. You screamed as it wrapped around your ankle, pulling you under the water.

You weren’t under for very long, whatever it was almost immediately releasing you. You sputtered as you pushed your head above the surface, panicking.

But then you heard Leon laughing hysterically nearby, and the realization that he was just screwing with you hit you like a brick.

“Oh, you asshole!” you yelled, wading back over to him and shoving his chest in rage.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just had to,” he told you between laughs.

“Yeah, you will be.” With that, you splashed his face with water, feeling smug that you got him before he could use his arm as a shield.

You splashed him a few more times until he lunged toward you, grabbing your arms, “Okay, we’re even now. Happy?”

He released you and you pretended to think about it for a moment, easing closer. Your faces were mere inches apart, and you wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him. You weren’t sure how the action would even work, considering his protruding fangs, but that didn’t stop you from wanting to find out. 

He seemed to edge nearer, and you wondered if he had the same idea.

But your nerves got the better of you.

Instead, you jumped up and shoved his shoulders down, dunking him completely under the water.

It was your turn to laugh as he came back up, his wet hair covering his eyes. “Now I’d say we’re even.”

He pushed the strands from his face and shook his head, chuckling. “Yeah, I deserved that.”

Before you could say something else, the sky seemed to darken suddenly. You still had a couple hours of daylight left, so you glanced up, confused. You saw that clouds had converged over the sun, looking awfully heavy.

Something splattered against your forehead, and you wiped it off, realizing it was a raindrop. Several more began to fall on and around you, and you knew it was time to head back to shore.

You and Leon quickly got dressed as the sprinkle of rain turned into a steady shower, dampening your once-dry clothes. Still, you made the time to glance at Leon’s cute butt as he leaned down to pull up his pants, and when you turned to put on your own, you could feel his eyes on you too.

Thankfully, Leon decided to head back to the cave, the rain only coming down harder as you finally entered it. Leon moored the boat, and the two of you hurried through to the quarry. 

A flash of light streaked across the sky as you reached the church, the echoing BOOM that followed it making you jump out of your skin. You must’ve looked like a wet chihuahua with how you shook, both from the sound and the cold rain seeping down to the bone.

Leon turned to face you, his expression concerned. He got close, placing his palms against your arms. “You’re freezing. C’mon, let’s get you home.”

Despite your misery, you couldn’t help but feel warmed by his words.

Let’s get you home.

He said it like it was yours, too.

He grabbed your hand, tugging you along as you rushed back to his place, knowing it was still quite a trek.

You finally made it to the house, and you doubled over as soon as you crossed the threshold, panting heavily from practically jogging the whole way. You were shivering violently, your teeth chattering as you finally caught your breath, when you felt Leon lay his hand across your back.

“Hey, you should get changed. I’ll start a fire,” he urged, eyes soft as he looked at you.

You nodded, doing as he said, wringing your drenched clothes over the tub before hanging them on the sides of it.

Feeling slightly better, you went back into the main room, seeing that Leon had pushed the dining table over and moved the couch in front of the fireplace, where a stack of logs was piled in the hearth.

He was struggling with the matches again, so you gently took them from his hands, alighting the kindling yourself. He simply nodded at you before you sat down on the couch and reached your hands towards the slowly growing flames.

“You’re soaked,” you told him. “Go change. I’ll make dinner when we warm up.”

He smiled down at you as he stood, stroking the top of your head. You never wanted him to stop. “Be right back, then.”

You were finally losing the chill as he returned, sitting down beside you, his tail draped between you on the seat.

Another loud crash of lightning made you cry out, flinching.

“Whoa, there,” he said softly. “You okay?”

You grimaced. “Yeah, I’m not… the biggest fan of storms. I like the rain when I’m cozied up inside, but thunder and lightning… I don’t know. It freaks me out.”

“So you’re afraid of heights, snakes, and storms. Anything else I should know about?” he asked lightheartedly.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not afraid of heights, just falling off a shoddy bridge, thank you very much. And snakes only scare me when they’re venomous and I think they’re slithering around my leg.”

His tail flicked up as you stared pointedly at it, the movement incredibly cute to you. He could really be just like a cat sometimes.

“I stand corrected. Just storms, then,” he teased.

The conversation flowed to other things, but looking around, you realized with sudden concern that Leon’s dog wasn’t nearby. “Hey, where’s Wolfie? Was he upstairs?”

Leon’s brows furrowed at that, standing and glancing around the room. “No… he wasn’t. He usually doesn’t stay out when it storms.” 

“Is he okay?” you questioned.

Leon crossed his arms. “I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe staying somewhere out of the rain.”

You nodded, though you worried for the poor dog’s safety.

As you promised, you made dinner—a roast, actually—and you had never seen Leon so excited by something you had cooked thus far (though he wouldn’t touch the potatoes, onions, and carrots that simmered alongside it).

As you worked on washing dishes, you saw Leon staring out of one of the windows, and you knew he was looking for Wolfie. You finished the chore, walking into the main room to stand beside him.

“He’s never been gone this long,” Leon stated with a frown.

You worried your bottom lip. “Maybe… Maybe we should go find him.”

Leon glanced at you, then, brow raised. “I’ll go find him. You should stay here.”

“No way,” you argued, already pulling on your hiking boots. “I’m not letting you go out there alone.”

“You could catch a cold, and that bear is still around. Besides, you hate the thunder and lightning, and it's only getting worse.”

“Well, I’m worried about him too. I want to help.”

He sighed as you stood upright, seeing the determination in your eyes. “Fine, but dress warm.”

You nodded vigorously. “I have a raincoat and a jacket, don’t worry.” 

You quickly ran to your luggage, throwing on your hoodie, sliding the raincoat over it, and grabbing your flashlight from your backpack.

You met Leon at the door, the two of you heading out into the dark.

You kept your arm braced above your brows to block the rain from your eyes, the hoods of your jacket and coat pulled over your head still not enough to prevent the onslaught, raking your flashlight over the ground as you and Leon called Wolfie’s name.

You didn’t know how long you were in the storm, and although the clothes on your top half helped to keep you dry and warm, your legs were getting soaked through. You pushed past the discomfort, your concern for Leon’s animal companion taking precedence.

The look of worry on his face was compelling enough to keep moving forward on its own.

You were near the church again, calling out the dog’s name as loud as you could, getting desperate to find him safe, when you heard Leon gasp beside you.

“What?” you questioned.

“This way,” was all he responded, bounding through the woods at a speed you could barely keep up with.

Leon was taking you deep into the forest, and you could focus on little else but his darting form as you followed him, afraid to be left behind in the dark.

You thought you were gaining on him when you tripped over a root, cutting your knee as you fell to the ground, hard. You were quick to pick yourself back up, sprinting after him and gritting your teeth against the pain.

You lost him, though, the realization filling you with panic. You just continued running in the direction you saw him taking off, calling after him frantically.

The thunder rumbled deafeningly from above, making you cower in fright, but you knew you had to keep going. The darkness seemed to encroach upon you, the torrent of rain pelting against your whole body hard enough to hurt.

You don’t think you had ever felt this afraid.  

To your relief, you finally caught up to Leon, but it was short-lived when you took in what was ahead of you.

Leon was crouched over, and you could hear him muttering in distress. Before him was Wolfie, laying motionless on his side, four streaks of dark red seeping out of his white fur.

You rushed forward, dropping onto your injured knee, not caring how badly it stung as you assessed the animal in front of you. He was still breathing, thankfully, and letting out quiet little whimpers. The wounds looked deep as you appraised them, wondering what could have done this to him.

As if reading your mind, Leon growled, “It was that damn bear.”

You didn’t respond as he stripped his shirt off, easily ripping it into strips. They were soaked through with rain, but it was better than nothing.

“Here buddy,” Leon reassured Wolfie as he grabbed his own tail.

“What are you doing?”

Ignoring you, he gently pricked the barbed end into the dog’s side, who yelped and writhed at the feeling before near-instantly relaxing.

“Kills the pain,” is all he offered as you looked at him in shock. He then shoved the strips of cloth into your hands. “I’m gonna lift him up and I want you to wrap these around him, okay?”

He’d only ever been this serious when protecting you from that bear two days prior, and you swallowed before nodding in response.

You began to carefully slide the first strip over one of the gashes, about to tie it off, when Leon interjected, “Tight, but not too tight.”

“Got it,” you said, fingers shaking as you followed his direction for each wound. You weren’t sure if it was the cold or the nerves but you managed it well enough.

When you were done, Leon stood. Wolfie was held in his arms, the dog’s blood smearing against his bare chest. It made your stomach twist with unease.

“I have bandages in my first-aid kit,” you told him as he began the trek back to the path, trying to keep up with his long, hurried gait.

“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Leon said. “We can change the bandages, but I don’t know if he’s… I don’t know if he’ll make it.”

You couldn’t reply, tears pricking your eyes at the thought.

Leon’s voice wavered as he continued, “I know he’s old. I knew I’d lose him eventually. But not like this. Not this soon…” 

You pushed back your tears, sadness giving way to conviction. “After we replace the bandages, I’m gonna take him to the vet, okay? You’ll have to carry him to my car, but I think if we’re fast, we can do this.” 

“What if he dies on the way there?” Leon asked miserably, “I don’t want to be away from him in his last moments.”

“I know it’s a risk, but we have a real chance of saving him, Leon. You told me to trust you yesterday, right? Well, now I need you to trust me.”

He seemed so conflicted but eventually nodded, his features solemn. “Okay. I’ll trust you.”

You reached over and squeezed his arm comfortingly.

God, I hope I’m right about this.

+++

It had been a long time since Leon felt this afraid.

He had lost everything once, and was forced to spend a decade trying to survive the hole that loss gouged out of him. Just a void sitting inside his chest, the edges slowly creeping out to devour what was left.

Wolfie had been there for him in ways humans never were. Even when he wasn’t this grotesque monstrosity, he would rather die than burden someone else with his innate brokenness, preferring to mask it with his need to help or his oftentimes cynical sense of humor.

The truth of the matter? He didn’t know who he was when he wasn’t useful to someone. When he wasn’t a protector. He had never felt so unmoored, going without this self-imposed purpose to drive him forward.

Wolfie had renewed that purpose a month after his transformation, when Leon was at his lowest. He limped up to him with a swollen leg after being bit by a viper, clearly recognizing him despite his mutated features. He had done all he could to nurse the poor dog back to health, and Wolfie hadn’t left his side since.

He sometimes wondered if it was fate that brought them together again—if he allowed himself to believe in something beyond the mundane—but he had renounced god and any other spiritual bullshit ages ago.

He looked down at the dog in his arms, no longer in pain due to his venom’s painkilling properties, but his breaths were still concerningly shallow. He wanted nothing more than to sprint full speed back to the house but worried the movement would only exacerbate Wolfie’s injuries.

He wasn’t completely sure he was okay with letting you take his dog from him—not wanting to miss any precious time he might have left—but he agreed that it was worth a shot to bring him to the vet clinic, even if he couldn’t join you.

He glanced over at you, your teeth gnawing into your bottom lip as you silently walked beside him, and was at least glad you were here with him in this nightmare. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to do this alone.

Eventually, you made it to the house, and he moved aside to let you open the door for him. You both rushed into the building, you grabbing your first-aid kit and a pair of scissors.

You were quick to find the proper bandages, and Leon just held Wolfie’s body out so you could cut off the bloodied strips of his shirt and re-wrap the wounds. Your hands were shaking, but you were careful and methodical, so he didn’t comment on it.

When you finished, you grabbed a blanket and a towel, laying them on the dining table so Leon could bundle the dog tightly inside to protect him from the rain. It was a bit of a walk to the hunting lodge, after all.

You moved away to wash your hands and find your car keys, but Leon could only stare down at your leg as you came back into the room. There were mud and grass stains, which he expected, though he was caught off guard by the knee of your jeans being torn, bright red trickling down your shin in a small but steady stream.

“What happened to your leg?” he questioned, unable to recall when you could have gotten the injury.

“Oh, it's nothing. I just tripped when I was chasing after you. Nearly lost you completely because of it, but I found you pretty fast,” you told him nonchalantly as you packed your bag.

He felt his stomach drop at your words, realizing that he hadn’t once looked back to check on you during his mad dash to find Wolfie. The thought that you were hurt and lost in the middle of the woods during a storm that scared you, and he just left you there, making bile rise to his throat.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I should have waited for you… I didn’t even know you weren’t behind me anymore…”

You shook your head, smiling at him, but the expression couldn’t hide the exhaustion in your eyes. “It’s okay, I promise. You were worried about Wolfie. I don’t blame you.”

“It’s not okay,” he seethed, his own self-hatred pooling into his chest. “I left you alone in a storm! In the dark! What if that bear was still around, huh? It could have killed you and I left you there, with nothing to defend yourself with!”

“Leon, I’m fine. Nothing happened beyond this little cut.” Your voice was calm and he wished he could hate it. Hate you for how you could talk him into or out of almost anything.

It had been mere days. He didn’t know you, and yet he trusted you implicitly. Trusted you with the life of his only companion.

And then, when he asked you to trust in him, he had sabotaged it in an instant.

He didn’t respond, knowing he might say something he’d regret, so he only watched as you quickly rolled up your pant leg to blot and disinfect the cut. He disliked seeing you in pain, witnessing the way your face screwed up as you used peroxide on the small wound—heard the hiss you made as it bubbled up on your broken skin.

You were wrapping one of the extra bandages over it when Leon looked out the window, the storm only hitting harder as the hours passed. “Maybe we should wait it out. You shouldn’t be driving in this.”

You sighed as you unrolled the leg of your jeans, walking over to stare into the dark with him. “Under normal circumstances, you couldn’t pay me to go out in this weather. But I don’t think we have time to waste, Leon.”

You both glanced over at Wolfie on the table, wrapped up and hopefully comfortable in the blanket. Leon had no choice in this if he didn’t want to lose his dog.

He was meant to protect him and now he was sending him off with someone most people would call a stranger.

Any quality of his that could be halfway useful in this situation, and he wasn’t even there when Wolfie was attacked. And now his only companion was bleeding out on his dining table and he could do nothing to stop it but put him in someone else’s care and hope he lived.  

Leon had all this strength, all these heightened senses. His entire body was deemed a weapon. And yet he couldn’t even save his dog.

What was the point of any of it, then?

And what would he have done if you weren’t there to help him? Watch Wolfie slowly die, helpless to prevent it?

Worse still, what if it was you who had been attacked?

He imagined your lifeless body lying in his arms, frightened eyes wide and staring off into nothing, drenched in blood that wouldn’t stop pouring out of you, and he could do absolutely. Fucking. Nothing.

“Come on, Leon. We have to go,” came your gentle voice, pulling him out of his dark thoughts. 

He only nodded in response, grabbing Wolfie and heading back out into the downpour, beyond the safety of his home.

The two of you trudged in silence through the village, the storm raging above your heads. He could practically sense your anxiety coming off of you in waves, but you were doing your best to remain stoic. He didn’t know if it was to calm yourself or him, but he appreciated the attempt.  

Finally, you made it to the hunter’s lodge, and you spoke up as soon as the door shut out the torrent. “I was wondering, how did you know where Wolfie was? Back there in the forest?”

“The storm dampened it, but I could hear him whimpering from the path. When I got close enough, I could smell the blood.”

“Right, super senses. Thank god for ‘em.”

He glanced at you sharply. “I’d rather have stopped him from getting hurt in the first place.”

“Hey, I know this sucks, but he’s alive and he’s going to stay that way if I have a say in it.”

He really took you in at that. Your face was wet, strands of your hair sticking to your forehead, but the fire in your eyes…

He had no way to know if things would work out the way you wanted, but your conviction—your unyielding, infectious hope—quelled the needling fear, if only for a moment. 

He might not believe in god, but angels must be real if you were standing beside him.

You made it to the car shortly after, Leon gently placing Wolfie into the backseat as you threw your bag into the passenger side and sat behind the wheel.

You turned the ignition, the vehicle roaring to life as Leon looked down at you, urging, “Please be careful. I might lose Wolfie, but I can’t lose you too.”

“I will be. I promise.” Before you closed the door, you glanced back up at him, asking, “What are you going to do while we’re gone?”

He clenched his clawed hands into fists, feeling the sharp edges dig into his skin as he grated out, “I’m going to kill that fucking bear.”

You looked shocked by his words but nodded in agreement. “Okay. Good luck.”

And with that, you closed the door.

Leon stepped back to let you drive off, knowing that the fate of his companion was out of his hands.

He exhaled harshly and turned on his heels, ready for the hunt.

Now this is what he was good for.

Shifting onto all fours, Leon was quick to shed his more human qualities for the sake of the kill, sprinting faster than he ever had on his legs alone. He focused solely on his senses to direct him through the downpour and to his prey, feeling his claws digging into the wet earth below.

As he had told you earlier, the storm dampened his abilities, but that wouldn’t stop him from reaching his objective.

In fact, it only made him more hellbent on completing it. 

It took him nearly an hour to find where the massive animal was lurking: a cave not far from where he had found Wolfie bleeding into the mud.

Despite its size, there was not much of a fight as Leon latched those deadly teeth of his around its throat and ripped. It barely had time to even register him launching at it before it was wheezing and choking on its own blood.

In this form, Leon was too proficient at killing. A part of him—deep, deep down—wanted to take his time tearing the beast limb from limb, listen to it roar and whine in agony before he finally put it out of its misery.

When its jilted movements eventually stilled, blood coating the cave floor and Leon from his mouth to the knees of his dirty pants, he stumbled back into the wall and closed his eyes tightly.

Vengeance. It was something he understood, but he didn’t see the point of it. Blood for blood’s sake never sat right with him. He only sought to kill out of necessity—to survive.

And yet, here he was, bloodlust finally fading as the bear’s large corpse laid before his weary gaze.

He could pretend all he wanted that this was an act of protection, a means to prevent further attacks in the future, but the sadistic glee he felt when his teeth sunk into warm flesh… there was nothing to excuse that.

This bear was simply living as it was born to do, even in its aggression.

Maybe Leon really was losing his humanity. Not a descent into a mindless killing machine, but a dissipation of self—fully aware of his own cruelty, but basking in it instead of rebuking it. 

He wasn’t sure which version scared him most.

He had to make this worth it, then. He had to alleviate this burning shame and break apart the guilt sitting heavy in his gut like a stone.

And so, with care, he carved up the carcass of the once dignified beast and devoured it, leaving only bones and fur in his wake.

It was the only form of reverence he could convey.

He dug a shallow hole in the mud beside the cave, laying the gory remains inside before covering it once more.

The storm had finally started to clear as he finished the task, the scent of petrichor not quite able to hide that of blood. 

Unsure of how long it would take for you to return with news of Wolfie’s condition, he rushed over to the hunter’s lodge to wait out the hours.

They passed slowly. Agonizingly. All he could do was curl in on himself and sit just inside the door of the old building, wet with rain and blood and mud. 

He once thought his initial transformation was the worst he had ever felt, that it was rock bottom. Before that, it had been what transpired in this village. And before that, it had been the disaster of Raccoon City.

He realized bitterly there was always further to fall.

He wasn’t sure why you were so adamant to befriend him like this. To help him. Was this pity? Was Leon some charity case for you? 

But then he thought of the way you smiled at him, the look on your face as he joined you in the cold water of the lake, the way you drifted to him like you were caught in his orbit and couldn’t fight the pull. 

The thought that maybe, just maybe, you felt the way he did… it was a jolt across his slumped form.

However, nothing could change what he was. His nature, it was a vicious one. And someday, you might not survive the animal that unfurled inside of him—through him.

Whatever happened after tonight, he knew one thing: his only escape was death.

He would simply wait out the end of your trip, selfishly wanting to wring out any joy he might find in your company, and if Wolfie survived the night, he would send him home with you to live out the rest of his days. He was certain you would take good care of him, provide for him better than Leon could ever hope.

But, he was reminded, Wolfie might not survive.

And it was Leon’s neglect that was to blame.

Useless, useless, useless, he repeated like a mantra in his head. 

He never imagined he’d have more to lose than he already did. More to ruin.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, the dawn breaking up the night. The sun’s warmth upon his skin did little to lighten his mood—as it burned more than soothed—but then he thought of the way your soft flesh felt against his and he nearly fell into a dream, eyes drifting shut.

He shot up suddenly at the sound of an approaching vehicle, though, his misery morphing into an all-consuming apprehension.

Was he prepared to grieve?

Your car finally pulled up near the lodge, and he rushed to the side of it, his heart palpitating as he stared into the backseat window.

He saw Wolfie laying there, breathing slow and steady.

He was alive.

Leon had never felt so relieved. 

He turned to face you as you opened the door, looking up at him with tired eyes.

Your expression turned to full-blown concern when you took in his appearance, reaching out to touch the blood staining his bare chest. “Are you okay?”

Leon placed his fingers over your hand, holding it close to him, the warmth of it more of a balm than the sun ever was. “I’m fine. It isn’t mine.” 

You sighed, eased by his words. “You found the bear, I take it?”

He nodded solemnly. “It won’t bother us anymore.” You didn’t reply and he looked back at Wolfie’s unconscious form once more. “How did everything go? Will he be alright?”

“It went great. He got stitches and a blood transfusion, and they kept him overnight for observation. Went ahead and got him a few shots when they said he was in the clear this morning. He took it all like a champ.” You dropped your hand, to Leon’s chagrin, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. “They told me to change his bandages every few hours and monitor for any infection. Gave me antibiotics and a few days' worth of painkillers. He should be just fine.”

“What did you tell them about the injury?” he questioned, suddenly concerned by what information you might have let slip in your distress.

“Don’t worry, I told them he got attacked while I was out camping. No specifics, I promise.” A look of realization then dawned on your features, to his confusion, before you began sifting through your bag.

You then pulled out a blue collar from its depths. It jingled as you held it up to Leon, shot tags dangling behind a bone-shaped one at the front, sporting the dog’s name and what he assumed was your number. 

“Picked this up before I took him from the clinic. Hope he’ll wear it,” you said, shrugging as you stood from the car.

A flood of emotions washed over Leon, then, namely an overwhelming sense of gratitude for what you had done for him. It went deeper than the collar in your hand, deeper than even saving his dog. 

You had faced a storm for him, soaked to the bone and afraid. You suffered being lost in darkness with an injured knee, even if it was only briefly. You drove through a torrent and stayed up all night to make sure his companion would live. You witnessed him covered in blood and filth and you reached out…

You were always reaching out.

Before he could think it through, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. He felt your plush body pressed against his hard edges—heard the way you gasped in shock. You almost immediately settled into it, though, holding him in turn despite the drying grime flaking onto your clothes.

“Thank you, for everything,” he murmured, face buried into your neck, the natural smell of you drifting to his nose. It was all at once sweet and grounding.

There was so much more he wanted to say, but this would have to suffice, the words caught in his throat.

“I’d do it all again in a heartbeat,” you whispered, your small hands sliding across his back soothingly.

The warmth of you made him ache, made his eyes burn, never wanting to let you go.

He knew he must.

The walk back to the house was a silent one, the only sounds the rainwater dripping onto the ground and the squelching of mud underfoot, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The two of you were just exhausted and still reeling from how the night had spiraled to near tragedy. 

Leon glanced down at Wolfie’s sleeping form in his arms, so drugged up on pain meds he likely wouldn’t wake for anything. He gave the dog’s head a gentle stroke, beyond relieved that, for now, it wouldn’t be the last time. 

The three of you entered Leon’s home, deciding that you would bring Wolfie’s bed and blankets downstairs, nestling them beside the fireplace to keep him comfortable and prevent him from exerting himself more than necessary once he was up and moving again. 

Once the dog was settled in, Leon could only stand and stare, worried that if he took his eyes off of him for a moment, he might die in his absence.

“I’ll make you up a bath, Leon,” you said quietly from the kitchen, already bringing a large pot to boil on the stove. “You could really use one.”

He sighed, finally dragging his gaze from Wolfie so that he could level it on you. “Don’t worry about that. I can just clean up at the lake.”

You huffed indignantly, approaching him and taking him in—in all his filthy, monstrous glory. “No way. You need a nice hot bath, and that’s that.”

“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?” he replied, scoffing good-naturedly. In truth, the thought of you caring for him like this made his heart beat a little faster. 

“Oh, I know,” you said with a smile, one that was so sweet, he would hold on to the sight of it for the rest of his life, “but it’s what you like about me.”

He found himself chuckling for the first time since last night, always so surprised by your ability to pull him out of his misery.

“Not the only thing,” he said lowly, fingers twitching at his sides to reach out and touch you again. 

Your cheeks flushed pink at his words, but you shook your head and laughed. “Go on, sit down for a bit while I finish what I started.”

He wanted to argue—to assist you in your task—because being waited on like this was something he had never been used to. Instead, he did as he was told, plopping down next to Wolfie on the floor and petting him to pass the time. 

He had almost fallen asleep again, unable to fight his eyes from drooping closed, when you called to him, informing him his bath was ready. He stood and stretched, yawning as he met you at the entrance of the side room. 

“Here,” you told him, a pile of his clothes, a towel, and a washcloth in your arms, “knock yourself out. Well, don’t really.” 

He took them gratefully, smiling at your ridiculous comment as he thanked you and disappeared behind the corner. 

He quickly shed what was left of his tattered clothes, dropping them haphazardly onto the floor before stepping into the tub and lowering himself in the water.

It was hot, but it didn’t burn. In fact, it was rather soothing as it lapped at his skin. The tub was almost too small for him, however, his knees peeking out of the water from having to fold his long legs.

It was cramped but not completely uncomfortable. He sunk in a little further, letting out a pleased sigh. 

This was definitely better than the lake, that was for sure. 

Before he could relax fully, he caught sight of something on the side table next to him. He turned his head and instantly regretted it.

It was a makeup mirror you had brought, and it was angled in a way he could stare directly at his own reflection.

It made him flinch.

He didn’t look away, however, gritting his teeth against the image of himself he had loathed from the moment he transformed. But not only was he faced with his monstrous visage once more, he could now see the blood and dirt caked onto his skin, exposing him for what he truly was.

Something that was meant to kill.  

He fought the urge to shatter the glass, not wanting to destroy something that belonged to you, instead leaning over and turning it away.

As he laid back in the water and began scrubbing the grime from his body with the rag you had provided for him, a barrage of thoughts overtook his tired mind, all of them relating to you. 

He couldn’t bear to look at himself, yet you rarely took your eyes off of him.

He was disgusted by his own existence and the form he was forced to live in, yet you treated him like he was normal. Like he was a person. 

He quickly finished bathing, the water starting to cool, but he was in no rush to leave, allowing himself this moment of peace and to think. 

He rested his clawed hand against his chest and could still feel where your small palm had been placed there, could still feel the way your flesh gave under his tight hold when had embraced you. The warmth that radiated from your very being.

His hand lowered mindlessly as he lingered on the image of you stripping bare to him on that boat, offering him your impish little smirk and batted lashes over twinkling eyes. 

It lowered further as he thought of your lips, wondered how they’d feel against his skin—how soft they would be.

He hissed as his hand gently wrapped around the base of his cock, almost shocked to feel it was already achingly hard.

Leon couldn’t remember the last time he had touched himself like this.

In the beginning, he worried he would hurt himself, what with the small daggers that were his new fingers. Eventually, he dared to wander—carefully, of course—and soon it was one of the few things human left of him, to have this libido to relieve. But as the years passed and his body changed, he hardly had the urge.

And now here he was, fisting his cock at the thought of you. 

He held back a groan as he slid his thumb across his slit, imagining it was your tongue instead.

He could picture your pretty eyes looking up at him as you took him into your mouth, how you’d tease him with kitten licks and the gentle scrape of your teeth until he was begging you for more, how you’d pull away just to level him with that mischievous smirk you wore so well before you’d cave and take him to the hilt.

Leon gasped as he picked up the speed of his pumping fist, lifting his hips above the cooled water, trying to avoid sloshing it onto the floor with the motion. 

He then thought of your cunt, how sweet it would taste as he laved it with his tongue—mused about what precious little sounds he could pull from those plush, kissable lips of yours. He could almost feel how your fingers would card through his hair, yank it to get him closer to where you wanted him; how he’d tease you the way you did him before finally conceding, your desperation for him almost more delicious than the very essence of you that he fed upon.

He grit his teeth as he neared the edge, fighting to hold back.

Too soon. It was too soon.

He paused his movements, taking in a slow deep breath to calm his rapidly beating heart, letting the wave of pleasure that nearly crested over him fade to a lapping tide.

His mind slipped back into his fantasy, then, needing to finish what he started before he was driven mad with desire.

He imagined you underneath him now, bodies flush together, the head of his cock sliding against you—not a taunt but a preparation for what was to come.

He wondered how tight you’d be as he pushed inside, how warm and wet and inviting, squeezing his hand as he emulated the scene from his head.

How well would you take him?

Although much of his body had changed over the years—grown—what sat beneath his belt had not. This was not a concern for him, however, having been well-endowed even for a human man of his former stature. In fact, he almost seemed more… proportionate… now.

Would he be too much?

Or would you plead for him to go harder and faster? Deeper?

Leon couldn’t stop the near growl that escaped him as he imagined the way you’d cry out into the crook of his neck, his name like a breathless prayer against his skin. He could feel you wrap your legs around him, scraping your nails across his spine hard enough to draw blood. 

He was on the precipice once more, but this time he didn’t hold back.

He thought of you looking into his eyes as you came undone beneath him, wide and full of unshed tears, overwhelmed by the euphoria coursing through you. His body shuttered at the idea of your walls tightening impossibly around him, pulsing and wet.

He managed to bite back the whine that clawed up his throat as his cock twitched, his seed spurting across his chest and stomach.

He collapsed back into the tub, his mind so gloriously blank and full of fuzzy warmth as he caught his breath.

And then the realization hit him.

He had just masturbated. To you. While you were just on the other side of the wall, without even a door to fully separate the room. 

He was flooded with remorse, then, wondering if he had managed to keep quiet enough so that you wouldn’t hear or suspect his reckless sin against you.

He stilled, listening intently to any sounds in the house, his inhuman ears able to pick out the overlapping breaths of you and Wolfie over the whistling wind outside, right there in the dining room. 

He swallowed the lump of shame that formed in his throat and roughly wiped the spend from his flesh, the harsh scrape of coarse fabric a small punishment for his transgression.

As he dried himself and changed into sleepwear, he wondered how disgusted you’d be with him if you knew just what he was thinking.

Surely, you’d never look at him the same.

He wanted to blame his exhaustion from a sleepless night, but he knew deep down this was bound to happen eventually. Your very existence was a temptation to him, after all. 

He took a steadying breath before he finally turned the corner to face you, pleasantly surprised and more than a little relieved that you were fast asleep, curled up on his couch with a blanket draped across your legs.

He smiled softly as he approached you, all worry forgotten as a swell of affection replaced it.

You looked so sweet laying there, head resting upon the pillow you must have brought from upstairs and your pressed hands, your breaths puffing out a strand of hair hanging over your mouth. Leon quietly chuckled as he tucked it behind your ear and pulled the blanket up and around your shoulders to keep you warm before standing upright once more.

He knew as he gazed upon you that regardless of whether you returned his feelings or not, his own might never leave him. He would have to make his peace with that.

He sighed, closing his eyes tightly before opening them once more, deciding that was a problem for later.

He then sat beside Wolfie, checking on him briefly before laying down right there on the floor, exhaustion overtaking any real need for comfort. Not like he hadn’t done it the first night of your arrival, anyway.

As he drifted into a deep slumber…

He couldn’t help but dream of you.

+++

The night had been a long one.

You had sat in the emergency room of the vet clinic with Wolfie for hours, watching as they tried to keep him alive.

You would never get the image of his terrified eyes out of your head, looking to you for help or for comfort as people he didn’t know surrounded him while he couldn’t even move.

You didn’t let your tears escape until they told you he was stable, locking yourself in their bathroom across the hall and sobbing into your hands, the events of the night finally catching up to you.

He would live.

You weren’t sure you could forgive yourself if he didn’t. You wondered if Leon would have.

Oh, Leon, you thought worriedly, I hope you’re okay.

You wished you could get ahold of him somehow to let him know Wolfie was alive, aware of the fact that even if he owned a cell phone, the village had no service anyway. You were half tempted to drive out to see him and tell him the news, but you didn’t want to leave Wolfie alone for that long.

You then recalled the bear and Leon’s promise to kill it, hoping desperately it didn’t hurt him. You didn’t know what you’d do if you drove back just to find him bleeding out in the mud like he had found Wolfie, the thought piercing your heart like a bullet.

To calm yourself, you replayed the day in your head, focusing only on all the good parts.

You thought of how he opened up to you at his friends’ graves, how he held your hand as you sat in the dirt together. 

You thought of how he slipped his palms across your waist on the boat, how he spoke so lowly in your ear, how your faces got so close in the water. 

You thought of how he stroked your hair while you sat by the fireplace, the affection so freely given it was as if he couldn’t stop himself from touching you.

You thought about how concerned he was for you when you returned to the house after finding Wolfie, how he was upset you had gotten hurt and lost in the woods and blamed himself. 

And then you thought of what he said before you left for town:

“I might lose Wolfie, but I can’t lose you too.”

Those words were looping in your brain over and over.

You knew he was just concerned with your safety, that he’d probably feel guilty if something happened to you while you were trying to save his dog, but the way he said it… The way he looked at you…

“I can’t lose you.”

It was like he meant it.

Despite your anxiety, you managed to nap a bit on the bench outside of the observation room, asking the veterinarian to wake you when Wolfie came to.

In the morning, while he was still out cold, you took a brief stroll outside of the clinic, making your way into the neighboring pet shop to bide the time. 

As you passed the shelves of toys and supplies, your eyes caught on a large blue collar, realizing that it was about Wolfie’s size. You held it aloft as you considered buying it, thinking it was almost silly to put a collar on a half-feral dog.

But then you thought of the other outsiders that might appear in the village every so often. You worried they might dog-nap Wolfie for his friendliness or kill him for his intimidating appearance, deciding it may be worth the purchase, just in case.

Besides, Leon seemed drawn to the color blue, if the majority of his shirts and his preference regarding the castle’s art was anything to go by. It was oddly endearing imagining the scorpion man and his wolf-dog matching in such a way.

After buying it and getting an engraved name tag, you returned to the clinic, petting Wolfie and offering him soft words of encouragement as the vet gave him some much-needed shots.

The rain finally subsided as you made your way back to the village, your nerves still alight despite Wolfie’s improved condition. 

When you finally pulled up to the dirt road near the lodge, you were overjoyed to see Leon appear beside the car.

Your heart was in your throat, however, when got a good look at him, his face and still-shirtless torso covered in dirt and so much blood.

You couldn’t stop the instinctual need to touch him, reaching out and placing your hand against his stained chest. “Are you okay?”

He gently laid his clawed fingers across your knuckles, pressing your palm into his skin, as if your very being was a solace to him. “I’m fine. It isn’t mine.” 

Your relief at that was palpable, beyond overjoyed that he was perfectly safe. Though, the blood had to come from somewhere, and it wasn’t all Wolfie’s. “You found the bear, I take it?”

Leon’s eyes seemed to darken, but he nodded, replying, “It won’t bother us anymore.”

The answer was jarringly cryptic, and Leon seemed more upset to admit he killed the bear than you would have thought, considering how eager he was to do it before you left.

You shook away your thoughts as he asked you questions, the conversation turning to Wolfie’s health.

You then recalled your purchase at the pet store, pulling it out of your bag and waving it in front of Leon. “Picked this up before I took him from the clinic. Hope he’ll wear it.”

You stood from the car, ready to get back to the house and take a nice, long nap, when Leon wrapped his arms around you, to your utter shock. 

He held you close to him, the strength of it enough to feel your bodies meld together, but not enough to hurt you.

It took you a moment to register it all, short-circuiting at the feeling of him against you, but you eventually hugged him in return, shivering as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck and let his breath fan across your skin.

“Thank you. For everything.” His voice was tight in his throat and it made your heart ache to hear it. 

It was the least you could do, a part of you deep down blaming yourself for what happened to Wolfie, because you had kept Leon out longer than he wanted. What if Wolfie had only been in the woods waiting for the two of you to come back? Maybe if you had agreed to return to the house before the storm hit, none of this would have happened to begin with. 

Instead of saying that, you only replied, “I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.”

It was still the truth, as you would do anything to protect this half-man and his dog—willing to suffer more than just a nasty cut and a sleepless night if it meant they were safe.

Leon pulled away, to your despair, and grabbed Wolfie, the three of you heading back to the house.

As you set up Wolfie near the fireplace, you couldn’t help but notice the way Leon wouldn’t take his eyes off the sleeping dog, and although you understood it, he needed to wash the blood and grime from his body and get some much-needed rest.

If your night had been rough, you couldn’t imagine what his had been like.

He argued against you making him up a hot bath, but you wouldn’t hear it, telling him your decision was final. 

“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?” he said in faux annoyance.  

You replied, smiling, “Oh, I know, but it’s what you like about me.”

“Not the only thing.” The words and the way he said them made a tingle run up your spine, but you were quick to shoo him off, taking a deep breath as you went about your task of filling the tub.

You changed quickly into your pajamas before sending Leon to his bath, flopping onto the couch with a quiet groan after fetching your pillow and a blanket from upstairs.

You thought that maybe you could sleep forever as you shifted, getting comfortable on the old piece of furniture. You wanted to wait for Leon, though, staring up at the ceiling in quiet cogitation.

Despite your fear that you were the reason Wolfie was out in the storm in the first place, you couldn’t understate your role in saving his life. Had you not been there, Leon wouldn’t have been able to do anything, and you could sense the distress that caused him at the realization.

You worried deeply about what might happen after you leave.

A stray tear escaped your eye and you battled the awful thought of one or both of them dying out here in this village, all alone, with no one to call for. 

Wolfie was old and this place was dangerous. And even if Leon ended up being fine physically, you knew his loneliness would eat him alive, especially with the inevitable loss of his dog an ever-looming threat.

You squeezed your eyes shut, wiping them to stop you from crying.

You thought about Leon’s smile instead. Thought of his voice and his laugh and the way he looked at you. Like you were normal. Like you were important.

You could still feel the way his arms wrapped around you, how safe you felt. How cherished.

You sighed deeply, turning over to stare at Wolfie, watching the slow rise and fall of his side as he breathed. You reached out your hand to him, gently stroking his head, his fur soft and warm.

You wondered as your eyes drooped shut and your mind began to fade to unconsciousness, your fingers slowly falling away from Wolfie’s form:

How could you leave them now?

--------------------

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[anulithots]

Okay, So I finished reading 'They Both Die at the End'

Spoiler warning I guess? The book doesn't have that many spoilers, per se, because it 'spoils' the end of the book, and I actually love it when books spoil themselves, because I will read for hours for the promise of something and the suspense to get there.

And this is one of those books that I stop and look off to the side for a few seconds while reading. Where I think I'm not affected by what is going on as my insides turn to static mush and I don't realize until later while I'm walking around outside while pondering and processing it.

Because - well, for a few reasons - it didn't have the most poetic prose, and I mean that as a compliment. Going into it I expected poetic musings about what it means to live, the sort of thing where the meanings are hidden under layers of subtext as they go on for paragraphs about metaphors, which is a style I tend to like.

But this book? It's simple at to-the-point. It summarizes and describes feelings with words and concepts but... as they are: simply. And - while I am not saying one style is better than the other, and I probably should get rid of my misbelief that not all writing has to be metaphorical and flowery to be impactful, even if that is what I prefer for my own writing - the fact that it is told simply, with the characters repeating phrases and ideas over and over again with new light and switching to second person and... just stating the fact that they are dying, they don't like it, and they wish they had more time - I think that is pretty special, to have a book where that is stated simply, as it is.

Also, the thing where Mateo can't leave his apartment to live his life even though the clock is dwindling is so painfully relatable. Somewhere child-thoughts me believe that the end of my childhood is the end of my 'good life' in a sense, I can't waste it, even though would often do so because of executive dysfunction and berate myself for it later. So the idea of regretting all the have-nots, definitely spoke to the remnants of... I want to say '13-14-ish me'.

And I want to talk about what I found most special here, more so than any prose style or character dynamics (although they were all amazingly, painfully, wholesome), is that the point of the book is to enjoy your life while you have it, to live each day like it's a lifetime, which the book says that Mateo and Rufus did.

And yet, they did it with mundane things.

For me - being that child that needed to live everything in one day otherwise it was wasted - (Even though my best is 'one or two' special things if I'm on a hyperfixation, and I can't control when that happens) to see that the idea of 'living your life' was full of walking around and talking and exploring without any particular goal and taking naps when needed and being okay with a 'waste of time' and none of it being the grand things people associate with a 'life without regrets', that means so so much.

Like, I can sleep for longer because I'm a night owl and I need it, I can walk around and ponder for a bit without needing to do anything productive (which they don't do anything very 'productive'. Why would you if it was your last day? And yet, so many people - when saying to live without regrets - say to do something productive. That's not a bad thing, but the others said that was the only thing that would get me to live without regrets, living in the future or trying to hard to live in the present.)

I can have conversations with my siblings or do little activities with them or spend time with my plants, or even spend some time online. They spend some time online! On their last day! And it's completely okay!

And the way they died was so so heartbreaking, because even though you knew they would die at the end, you never thought it would be like THAT.

[queerpunktomatoes]

This isn't something I really talk about on this blog but as someone who is chronically ill/mad, a lot of y'all stop caring about autonomy and a person's right to choose how to care for themself when it's an 3@t!ng d!s0r3r. (Yes, I'm pissed that I have to censor that, and I'm really sorry to people using screen readers.)

I've had this experience for over ten years now, and while I am so for people "choosing recovery" and sustaining hope, that's also not the only option or the only one that's somehow morally correct. Some of y'all are out here acting like I have absolutely no brain cells when I say that I'm not "in recovery." You act like I'm either "crazy" and therefore unable to rationally make a decision or I just have a d3@th wish. Neither is true.

The system royally screwed me and many other folks over. I was privileged enough to be in specialized treatment as a teenager, and obligatory "this is just my experience," but it was all about refeeding. They didn't care about why I was engaging in these behaviors. They wanted to make sure I was medically stable and then they sent me back to my parents' house with strict instructions to keep an eye on me. In many ways, treatment made it worse.

(I have one specific memory of group therapy, where we were talking about body trends throughout history [presumably to illustrate that the perfect body is a myth]. The therapist said, "How about Marilyn Monroe?" I started, "Well, she was thin, but she wasn't-" and the therapist cut me off to say, "No, she wasn't!" and explain how she was curvy and beautiful and everyone loved her. This was well-intentioned. But to me, the teenager with years of obsessive urges and crippling body dysmorphia, who legitimately was fatter than Marilyn Monroe, this became a core memory. It might seem a small thing, and in the grand scheme of things, it is. But I learned a lot about what was expected of me in treatment at that moment.)

Treatment inadvertently taught me many things. It taught me that recovery needs to be fast, because it's a drain on family members if it's too slow. It taught me that people who looked like me don't need recovery the same way as others, I needed to "eat normally" and leave. It taught me that it didn't matter what I needed, what I was getting from my behaviors, because the behaviors were bad. It taught me that my experience was somehow intrinsically different than others', because maybe I really did need to lose weight. It taught me that if I wanted to be a good person, I needed to "get better."

So when I "failed" at recovery, I felt horrible about myself. When I lapsed and relapsed and struggled to stand up on my own, I felt morally inferior, because recovery is what you do. People who don't recover d!e. Good people try harder.

I've come to realize, now, that I wouldn't use these behaviors if I didn't need them. I don't enjoy them (contrary to popular belief). I've found some alternatives that work sometimes and others that never do. I've been in therapy for years now, and every therapist says the same things about needing self-confidence and healing childhood trauma. But it doesn't matter, and it never has. I have a great relationship with myself. I think I'm wonderful, and I see my weaknesses, and I'm committed to my growth. Yeah, there's some childhood stuff, but I've been working through it for years, and I'm way healthier now than I have been historically.

And I still use these coping mechanisms. And I think I might always, to some degree. Could I "get better"? Maybe. I don't know, honestly. That's a massive amount of time and resources. It's hard work that demands your focus and energy and money. It's even harder work for people who are multiply marginalized to access services. Maybe I will pick "recovery" one day.

Right now I'm committed to harm reduction. I eat when and what I can. I take care of myself when and after I use a behavior. I'm honest with the people I trust. I don't pretend this isn't happening to me and I don't pretend that it doesn't suck. And equally, I let myself have good days. I don't invalidate myself when things are going well. I don't lie to myself.

And I'm not "crazy" for choosing this. "Recovery" as a concept is inaccessible to me right now. I'm Autistic and have yet to find a provider willing to accommodate my sensory issues. I'm a student and unable to pay for better health care. I'm just not ready to recover. (They say you'll never be ready, and I disagree, but that's another post.)

This doesn't mean I'm engaging in everything all the time and spiraling constantly. I do what I can, when I can. But people consistently act like this is not a rational decision. But it's my body. It's my life. It's not the safest way to live, and I know that. But I get to pick anyway.

I know this post is chaotic and I'm not sure if I got across what I'm trying to, but the point is, even if I wasn't picking harm reduction as the current safest, healthiest, reasonably accessible path for me, it would still be my choice. If I decided to engage until I d!ed, that is still my choice. I, and other chronically mad people, should still have autonomy. I'm still a person. I'm doing this for a reason, and calling me "crazy" or "incompetent" only serves to alienate me more from the recovery I might eventually choose.

But I deserve support even if I never, ever, "get better."

[0himio]

MDZS Fanfic Recs -- Completed

I am in such a MDZS rabbit hole and its driving me INSANE! I've never done this before, but here are a couple of completed MDZS fics that I saved. Not all of them are my top ones but I enjoyed them quite a bit. I don't think the characters went too OOC but having said that I can't tell too much. At least I know that they are goo goo gaa gaa OOC iykwim

Forget Myself in Memories

Ten years after the events of Guanyin temple, the juniors accidentally step into an array that sends them to the past, just before the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign

Author: geethr75 Words: 10,300 Chapters: 7

The ending is pretty sweet and it's a "juniors time travel and decide to fix things" trope. I'm a sucker for that type of thing and it's cool to see how the past interacts with the future -- especially since instead of the usual time travel to Cloud Recesses, they travel at the start of the Sunshot Campaign.

ghost (What's your name)

Wei Wuxian spends the 13 years after his death as a ghost, except that nobody outside of four little kids seems be able to see him.

Author: pearlAngel Words: 3,086 Chapters: 1

This goes into a bit of the perspective of all the juniors and their opinions on the Yiling Patriarch and how different his ghost is. NHS also shows up and his little section makes me tear up a ngl

When The Soul Returns Home

"Jiang Chenggggggg!" He whined, taking extra care not to jolt the man any harder than was comfortable, in fear of being whipped to death. "Heartless shidi, ignoring me. The least you could do is threaten to break my legs, you know." That last part came out more honest than he expected. Because yeah. He'd rather Jiang Cheng threaten him with Zidian for all he cared that he might die, hell he'd rather Jiang Cheng maul him right here right now than straight up looking through him as if he was glass. Jiang Cheng flinched upon contact, but he didn't turn. Wei Wuxian was only perceptive enough to notice the shiver through the thick fabric of his shoulder, gone in a second, replaced instead with firm, tense muscles. . During a night hunt, Wei Wuxian gets his body back and is now responsible for telling his shidi what happened without having a chance to escape. Of course that went wrong as well, but in a different way than he imagined. It seems like no matter what happened, Wei Wuxian will always be surprised by the sheer unconditionality of Jiang Cheng's love and faith.

Author: yue_yinbai Words: 11,164 Chapters: 1

This is an au where WWX gets his body back and he has a lot of mixed feelings about it. Many other people have feelings. There's a heart to heart and a make up/feelings session with WWX and JC that is really sad but sweet to read about.

A Grand Immortal Made Me Soup

One thing had become incredibly clear. Wei Ying was much sicker than he had thought he was, and as a result, was now hallucinating. There was no reality where a Grand Immortal had actually shown up in his apartment, yelled at him about his shit-hole residence, and fed him soup. Absolutely in no way was a Grand Immortal in his apartment, and shitting on him for not finding a place that banned pets.

Author: s6115 Words: 5,040 Chapters: 1

This one's just hella funny but there is a bit of angst. Its a mix of an immortal au and a reincarnation au where JC is an immortal and WWX reincarnates in the modern world. Lowkey felt bad but it's a really heartwarming story. There are a lot of things that WWX doesn't get but he's trying.

The One-Body Problem

The good news is that Lan Jingyi has found a mentor, friend, and constant companion through the difficulties in life. The bad news is that that’s because he’s been accidentally possessed by the Yiling Patriarch.

Author: metisket Words: 28,689 Chapters: 2

LJY acts without thinking and gets possessed by WWX. It's such an interesting concept, especially since they are both hiding things from each other the whole time. It's a bit of a joyride tbh since yk LJY and WWX make an interesting combo but it's one of my favs

Tell Them How the Crowds Went Wild, Tell Them How I Hope They Shine

A-Yuan knows he has to be very careful in his new home. He has to be mindful of the hem of his pristine white robes, cautious of the volume of his voice, dutiful in his manners. A-Yuan has to be very, very good. Really, really good. Because otherwise, Baba might have to leave, like Mama. A-Yuan did not want to lose Baba too. Or: A-Yuan did not forget everything of the Burial Mounds - he remembered a bright smile, a cheerful laugh, the warmth of strong arms, and a single name. It's up to Lan Wangji to make sure he does not forget it all.

Author: GinnyRose Words: 4,598 Chapters: 1

This is told in LSZ's point of view. It's a bit angsty but not too bad.

i don't know how to be something you miss (i'll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep)

Wei Wuxian died. That should've been the end of it. He gained consciousness again in the Jingshi, unable to leave, while Lan Wangji was in seclusion. He proceeded to watch A-Yuan grow up.

Author: mfingenius Words: 7,071 Chapters: 1

This one is kinda sad. Halfway through I lowkey almost cried because of how bad I felt. I don't want to spoil but this one gave me the feels. I love ghost WWX aus and I actively search for them but this one- *chefs kiss*

A Dramatic Reading

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian make out in a room full of Sect Leaders, Jiang Cheng tearfully declares his love for his estranged brother, Sect Leaders Yao and Ouyang beg for the Yiling Patriarch’s forgiveness, and Lan Qiren openly welcomes a new nephew-in-law into his family. None of them want to be doing any of this. Thanks to the Juniors, they don’t exactly have a choice. (Or, wherein the Juniors accidentally write a cursed fanfiction, and everyone has to reenact their parts in it, or potentially cease to exist).

Author: pupeez4eva Words: 5,627 Chapters: 1

This is such a crack fic but is so damn funny. Everyone just wants to kill the juniors because their guilty pleasure of writing wangxian fanfics gets outed. LWJ and WWX don't get together post-canon and the juniors got sick of them and started writing cringy fanfiction. This fic cured some of the angst I've been reading.

[polyamanga]

Combining these into one post! As always, thank you for the recs!! (Also thank you for the note about the Tenchi Ending trope--I'd seen that name and figured it got renamed, but wasn't sure!)

Jingai-san no Yome doesn't seem to have an official English translation for its manga (doesn't look like it has a completed fan translation either), but the anime seems to be on Crunchyroll in the US. It sounds like a cute easygoing slice-of-life series!

High schooler Tomari Hinowa is called to the principal's office one day to hear some shocking news: he's getting married! A mysterious fluffy creature called Kanenogi has chosen him as their wife, and despite Tomari's initial misgivings, he decides to accept. What follows are a series of delightful tales from this new couple's monstrous married life.

You spelled it Sekieri, did you mean Sekirei? I've seen that one floating around, but I never knew anything about the plot. It reminds me of Master of Martial Hearts, except also not at all lmao. Although they do have a similar boobs-forward look to them 🤔

The stage is set. The preparations are complete. A grand battle royale known as "The Sekirei Project" is about to take the streets of Shintou Teito by storm. For this event, the shadowy corporation known as MBI has developed 108 "Sekirei"—advanced humanoid beings with extraordinary combat skills. Set free into the city, these Sekirei must search for their "Ashikabi," masters who can unlock and control their fighting potential through kissing. Once all the Sekirei are paired, they must battle until one team emerges victorious and claims the enigmatic grand prize. Enter Minato Sahashi, a ronin whose life is as bleak as it gets. Weak-willed and unconfident by nature, his circumstances become even more hopeless when he fails his college entrance exams for the second time. However, when he encounters a Sekirei called Musubi, a bond sparks between them, and he finds himself becoming her Ashikabi. Although he begins to enjoy his life with Musubi and the other Sekirei he bonded with, he consequently finds himself increasingly embroiled in The Sekirei Project. If Minato wants to protect his newfound life, he will need to step up and participate in this demanding, high-stakes battle.

World's End Harem is another one I've seen people mention in poly circles (along with Arifureta lol), but I haven't gotten around to checking it out. The plot of WEH always made me kinda sad tbh! It felt a little cheat-y to me, even though I might be jumping to conclusions. (I recently got burned by trying out Lust Geass and finding its just a big NTR-fest so I'm probably biased lmaooo)

Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, young researcher Reito Mizuhara is to be put into cryosleep until a cure can be found. Short on time, Reito decides to confess his pent-up feelings to his childhood crush Erisa Tachibana and bids farewell to his family and friends. As Reito goes to sleep and his consciousness begins to fade, Erisa barges into the room and declares that she will wait for him. Five years later, Reito wakes up to a post-apocalyptic world where 99.9% of the world's male population had been eradicated by the "Man-Killer Virus" four years prior. He is one of a handful of men who have become immune to this virus due to sclerosis treatment. Reito and the other four men are now invaluable assets to humankind and are expected to impregnate as many women as possible. Reito, however, is determined to find Erisa and refuses to make love with any other women. With temptations lurking around every corner, can he hold on to the woman of his dreams?

Arifureta, like I mentioned above, is one I've been meaning to look into. I heard that the light novel has a somewhat poly ending, but who knows if the manga/anime do the same!

Seventeen-year-old Hajime Nagumo is your average, everyday otaku. However, his simple life of pulling all-nighters and sleeping in school is suddenly turned upside down when he, along with the rest of his class, is summoned to a fantasy world! They're treated like heroes and tasked with the duty of saving the human race from utter extinction. But what should have been any otaku's wet dream quickly turns into Hajime's nightmare. While the rest of his class are blessed with godlike powers, Hajime's job, Synergist, only has a single transmutation skill. Ridiculed and bullied by his classmates for being weak, he soon finds himself in despair. Will he be able to survive in this dangerous world of monsters and demons with only a glorified blacksmith's level of strength?

Fujimura-kun Mates is an interesting title! Wondering if it's 'mates' as in 'friends' or as in 'mating'...lmao. I'm a fan of the character designs, based on the volume covers. They're simple but cute!

Fujimura is a loner delinquent at his school. Feared by his classmates since the first day of high school, he's had no friends and usually ditches class. But even his standoffish nature can't hold up when a class president with a few screws loose comes after him! And two more class presidents. They're a few cards short of a full deck too. (Actually, he's more like the tsukkomi in a world of boke.)

Overlord; I watched the first couple episodes of season 1. I only got far enough (as far as I remember) to see one of his love interests (Albedo is freaking EVERYWHERE lol!!) but it seems on brand for there to be at least a few!

Yggdrasil is a virtual reality game renowned for the freedom it offers its players. After a simple tutorial, players are left to explore the world and can customize anything and everything, from their classes to their weapons. However, in the year 2138, the game sees its final hours as its servers shut down at midnight. Momonga, a devoted player of Yggdrasil, decides to spend the game's last hours inside his guild, Ainz Ooal Gown. Strangely, at the stroke of midnight, the game does not log him out. Instead, Momonga finds himself transported to another world, one that is seemingly identical to that of Yggdrasil. Facing an already abnormal situation, he discovers that the NPCs have gained sentience. Trapped in his avatar's skeletal body and desperate to uncover the cause of his predicament and find other players like him, Momonga sets out to take control of the new world with the help of his loyal subjects.

As for The Rising of the Shield Hero, I've seen season 1 and half of season 2, but haven't read any of the light novels/manga. The anime didn't seem to be going in a poly direction (many girls were into him, but he definitely seemed to view them all as his daughters lmao), but I'm sure the light novel could have had PLENTY of time to get there. (That being said, for any that may want to check this series out, episode one features discussions of hypothetical sexual assault (nothing shown since it doesn't actually happen), and slavery is a reoccurring theme.)

Stories of old tell of four otherworldly heroes—wielding the sword, spear, bow, and shield—who defended the land from wave after wave of calamity. With the fate of the world in balance, the kingdom of Melromarc summons these legendary figures; in modern-day Japan, the call is answered, and the unwitting heroes are transported to this fantasy universe. Thrust into Melromarc and given the title of "Shield Hero," otaku Naofumi Iwatani is labeled the weakest due to his lack of offensive capability and apparent inexperience. When the heroes part ways to start their journeys, he only has one willing companion: the beautiful princess Malty Melromarc. However, she soon betrays him, steals all his money, and accuses him of taking advantage of her. For his alleged crimes, Naofumi is branded a criminal and made outcast of society. With hatred filling his heart, he sets out alone, vowing vengeance against those who wronged him.

[slutforsfender]

𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 - 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓

I was currently out for lunch with Phoebe, her mum, and my granny as a little girl's lunch for a catchup, We'd usually do this back in my town in London but since I'm back home we went to a little café that we adored.

"Oh it is lovely to see you pet back in Newcastle" Alice, Phoebe's mum, spoke.

"Thank you, I'm enjoying being back" I spoke before sipping on my wine.

"Well I for one have missed you a lot and I'm sure I'm not the only one aye Jacq?" Phoebe addressed my granny while she ordered.

"Of course I did, it's my little girl but I did not miss you playing electric guitar at one am that's for sure missy" She joked with a stern look.

"Oh please you love it gran" I joked back.

"Gran me again missy and I will lock away that guitar again" She warned.

We all laughed it off as they sank into a conversation about missing me. These were the moments I had missed while in London. The lunches there just aren't the same casual family feeling between us all. I will never be able to forgive him for giving me the ambition to leave my favourite people that I needed by my side.

"You okay Bella?" Pheebs questioned, noticing my absence in the question and the only one knowing what had happened the night before.

I had rang her after I had calmed myself down, ranting for hours about the words that had been spoken. Her hatred was definitely fueled towards him and I did not blame her one little bit anymore.

"Yeah I'm fine, just missed these lunches" I hummed, picking up my glass to cheer with the others.

We had a lovely lunch talking about everything from teenage memories, to boys and anything else possible. My mind was distracted for the first time in a while and I had genuine smiles. I adored these women with all I had.

My phone suddenly buzzed by the side of me and I reached over to check it to be met with a message I was not expecting.

Dean: Hiya Bella, heard from the whispers of the streets you are back home. Me and the lads are missing our lil songwriter. Was wondering whether you wanted to have a few drinks with me and the lads tonight at the Low Lights. Sam will be there but we can defend you as well as Pheebs if she wants to join. Love ya lots Bella x

"Pheebs look at this" I spoke, showing her my phone. Shock reaching her face as well.

"Oh crikey. I think we should go though. I know you miss the lads and so do I and it could be fun. You can't spend the whole trip with us lot and can't him determine what we do. Come on" She spoke wisely. I nodded in agreement.

Arabella: Of course, we will come. Missed you bairns a lot as well, see you tonight x

"What's going on darling?" My granny questioned, confused by the interaction.

"Nothing just Dean asked if we wanted to go for a few down the Low Lights tonight with the lads" I explained to her.

"That sounds grand. I always loved Dean, he used to look right after you when you were bairns" She awed.

"Aye Dean is lovely, a little troublemaker but looked after you too for sure" Alice agreed.

--

It was now a little bit later and we were sat in Phoebe's flat with vinyls blasting getting ready. I sat on her floor with a glass of wine, fixing my makeup from this morning. I didn't want to go all out as it was the Low Lights but if he was there I had to show I was fine after yesterday.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Phoebe asked while doing her mascara in the bathroom.

"Just thinking about seeing everyone and him after yesterday yanno," I tell her honestly.

"Arabella if you can do half of the stuff you have done you can face a few old friends. And for him just ignore him, you're home and you can't let him ruin how you felt about Shields this morning" She advised, pointing the mascara tube at me for emphasis making me laugh.

Soon enough we dressed in our outfits taking a few pictures before setting off to the Low Lights.

"Ready?" She asked linking arms like usual.

"As I ever will," I said nodding causing us to chuckle a little.

We made our quick walk to the little pub, talking about anything that came to our minds. It was Phoebe's trick to keep me distracted as my nerves increased the closer we got.

"Here we go," She says opening the familiar doors.

Straight away we are approached by a group of rowdy boys, cheering our names making a smile come to my face. I was pulled into hugs, the first one of course being Dean.

"Oh I have missed ya wor lass," He said in my ear as he pulled away.

"Missed you too Deano" I reply, patting his shoulder.

Soon enough Tom pulled me into him, muttering a missed you. He had always been the big brother of the group. Then soon enough I was introduced to a few new people that had joined the group.

"Hiya I'm Joe, part of Sam's band. I've heard a lot about you from Deano. Must be a special lass" He said, pulling me into a hug and I could tell I already liked him. He seemed like a good laugh.

Another lad then came over to me, tripping over slightly making the whole group erupt in laughter.

"Cheers lads," He said to the group of boys before turning back around. "Hey, I'm Drew. Drummer of Sam's band" He explained, reaching his hand out.

"I'm not gonna bite Drew, you can give us a hug like. Nothing special here" I said, gesturing to myself before hugging him.

Then I met the final new one, another Tom who explained he was the bassist of the group. They all seemed like a good laugh and I knew that's why Sam had liked them.

Speaking of the devil, I looked up to be connected with his ocean blue eyes staring back at me. Neither of us moved for a second until a voice spoke up.

"Well we better get a drink than join ya lads" Phoebe spoke up, witnessing the eye contact.

"No need. Got your drinks and seats right here next to me" Dean pointed to the two spaces next to him which were far away from him. I knew that was his plan from the wink that came my way as I sat down.

I straight away gulped half my pint down as I laid eyes on it. "Oi oi, can see why the lads love ya so much now" Joe spoke in response to my actions causing us to laugh.

Soon enough we were all in conversation about what I've been up to and teenage memories. Dean was careful enough to not go near the topic of me and Sam which the other lads followed.

However, as much as I avoided the blonde lad, I could feel his eyes laid on me watching my every move. Making me wonder if Dean had told the lads about our relationship. Or why they said only Dean talked about me? Could he still not talk about me?

I stopped my brain from spiraling by downing the drink in front of me before the next round came.

"Steady on Bella. I'm getting flashbacks to when you were sixteen knocking 'em back like they were note" Tom laughed, recalling one of my drunken moments.

"Aye well, I believe I was a bit of a mess then. Some things never change" I mutter the words, finally reaching his eyes again.

"Yeah, I remember you and Sam were like all over each other. Disgusting sight, I'll tell you that" He says, crumbling his face up at the memory.

"Well, that's in the past now," I say with a bitter smile on my face as I turn to Dean.

"You alright lass?" He asked, knowing right now wouldn't be the easiest for me.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Got my best mate back ain't I?" I smile at him as he put his arm around me.

"Never went anywhere" He whispered in my ear while Phoebe turned to us.

"Did I hear something about best friends?" She asked, whipping her head around.

"Yep, saying Deano's my best mate" I joke as she acts offended.

We joke around as a little trio for a few minutes like back in the old days. It was nice, I had missed our little moments.

"Sam you have a face like a smacked arse mate. What's up? Got no lasses tonight or something?" Drew questioned the boy in the corner as I stared at the table. Feeling like something had stabbed my heart at the thought of him with girls.

"I need air" I spoke suddenly, walking towards the door.

"Drew what the fuck" I heard Dean shout.

"What? They were years ago" Drew shouts back and I heard a chair scrape across the floor. I was certain it was Phoebe.

I got outside and slid down the brick wall next to the doors, feeling my heartache and breathing increase.

"Drew can be an idiot" Sam spoke as he joined me in my place.

"You should go back inside," I said, standing back up and creating distance.

"I don't always have girls Arabella. He just thought it was funny since I've been single since I met him" He spoke, standing up close to me

"It's not my business. Go back inside" I spoke bitterly, turning around.

He didn't say anything but instead stood behind me as I caught my breathing. I knew he was thinking of something, but I still knew him better than anyone.

My body kept tensing up at my thoughts and stress. I knew he could see it in my shoulders.

He stepped a step closer to my back before placing a kiss on my neck, trying to soothe me.

Do not give in Arabella. It's a trick.

Then his hand came to my arm. There it was. The familiar touch.

Ignore the feeling. It's not safe.

"Rose. Turn around please" He whispered in my ear and I was back under his spell like that.

I did as he said but did not dare to look at his face. Instead, my eyes were firmly set on the floor beneath us. Until his fingers came to my chin and he pulled my face to look at his.

I took the silence and moment between us to admire him for the first time tonight. It was an instinct of mine that I had always done in these moments between us but this one felt different. The connection felt different between us.

His face was illuminated by the street lights around and the moonlight showing the blonde in his hair. His hair was messy but that kind of messy that gave me butterflies. There was a patch of stubble on his chin, showing our age difference since the last time we stood like this. My eyes flickered over every single detail I could find. I knew what he was waiting for and what a subconscious part of me was waiting for. I knew to resist.

"I'm surprised Phoebe hasn't come out" I whispered to him.

"I told her not to. And since she never listens to me, I'm guessing Tom is doing us a favour thinking we need to talk. Then Dean will be getting protective and having a small go at everyone while also filling everyone in slightly on us if I know our lot" He whispered back, moving small bits of hair out of my face while drawing shapes on my hip bone.

"They are more your lot than mine these days" I whisper back.

"Never, you will always have a place in our group. A place everywhere. A place in my soul" He whispered, looking into my eyes again.

Right then and there, I didn't want to move. I knew I should but the feeling I had was enough for the rest of my life being stood there. I didn't give myself time to think before I did my next actions.

I moved my hand up to his neck before pulling his face down toward mine. We looked at each other before our lips connected. His soft lips moved against mine and my hand moved to his little hairs.

There it was, the feeling I had the last time. The explosion of butterflies, safety, adrenaline, and home. A different kind of feeling from what I had when we kissed back when we were sixteen. I knew what I wanted then even if I was to regret it. I just wanted one night between us to explore this new feeling. To be with him.

"Come on" He whispers as if he could read my mind.

"I have a free house" I whisper as we stop to kiss again.

We make the quick walk to my house which ends up being longer as we keep stopping to kiss. Both of us not wanting to ruin the moment.

As soon as we step into my hallway, he picks me up and kisses me making me let out a squeal and causing the man in front of me to smirk. We instantly go back into a kiss like we shared outside the Low Lights. Slow and soft but with all the tension and need.

His lips moved to my neck and jaw while I let out moans and played with his hair. Soon enough he found my sweet spot causing me to move against his hard-on that was growing making him let out a groan. Before I could even register, he was carrying me upstairs to my bedroom.

The door shut behind us as we entered he put me down and pressed me up against the wall, continuing his attack. While I moved my hand down towards his trapped cock, palming him causing him to groan against my neck.

"Jump" He groaned in my ear as he picked me up again and dropped me onto my bed.

He made his way on top of me after we had both shaken off our shoes. I straight away yanked at his top, signally for him to take it off. He pulled it over his head and my hands instantly roamed his chest while he cupped my breasts through my crop top.

I couldn't take this teasing any longer and I started grinding against him. His hands soon came to my top, ripping it off and repeating his actions with my skirt. Leaving me in my pants and bra in front of his eyes.

He stepped off the bed to take off the rest of his clothes and get a condom out of his jeans ready. That's when the reality hit me. That here I was with him once again in the most vulnerable way possible as I stripped myself of the last bits. Yet there was no fear in my body because his touch made me feel safe. Not safe in the way it will last for a day or so but that safe you know never disappears.

He looked me in the eyes and we shared a smile before I tried to cover up causing him to reach out and stop my hands.

"You're beautiful Rose" He whispered as he got back on top of me, placing kisses down my body.

He spent time on my breasts, placing kisses on my nipple while the other one was being rubbed back and forth between his thumb and finger.

My moans were echoing through the room as my head went further back into the pillow beneath my head.

"Sam" I moaned out beneath him.

"What baby?" He said, looking up at me with his ocean eyes and I could of came right then and there at the sight.

"I need you" I whispered into his eyes.

He nodded and continued his trail of kisses before placing little ones on my clit making my moans even louder. He worked his tongue over my clit before deciding to fuck me with it. His thumb worked my clit while his tongue worked my hole.

"Sam I'm getting close" I whispered as my hips jerked towards him.

"Not yet baby. Going to cum on my dick okay?" He said as I nodded in response.

He came up to my lips and kissed me once again. I could taste myself in his mouth which made this whole moment a whole lot more hotter if I'm being honest. He aligned himself with me after rolling the condom on, entering me causing us both to let out a moan.

His pace was slow at the beginning while you shared kisses before he sped up causing your nails to mark his back while he groaned into your neck repeatedly. That was a sound you wanted on repeat as it caused butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

"Nobody could make me feel like you do" He whispered in my ear as we both got closer to our highs.

"Cum when I say so," He says but I couldn't respond as you felt too weak.

He attacked my lips as his pace slowed due to nearing his high.

"Now" He whispered against my lips as you both released.

We stared at each other for a minute, contemplating what had just happened before falling next to each other. Sam put his arm out behind me for me to put your head on his chest.

"That was something else" I whispered into the room.

"It's not like that with others" He whispered.

"There's a different feeling than there was back then" I whispered, scared to bring then up.

"I know how you feel. It's like it's new but it's not" He explained in a few words but I knew what he meant.

We didn't have to say anything else, we lay in a comfortable silence before falling asleep entangled in each other's arms sharing kisses. 

----

so...yeah. that happened, how are we all feeling after reading the first smut of the book. a dramatic one for sure. i actually loved writing this, like i could picture every bit of it. sorry it starts off slow. love ya x

[yukyunotabibito]

[ Goddess Tower ] - Who says you have to wait until the end of the night to see whether or not the myths are true? Love (and/or rejection) waits for no one!

He didn’t climb to the top of the tower last year, out of courtesy for the myths that surrounded it. He does so now, at least to enjoy the view before the inevitable couples will climb to its top to speak their sweet words of confession. He would not lie and say he was not hoping for solitude.

Sephiran looks over the monastery, the place he lived in for almost a year, that he abandoned when he flew too close to the sun, craved too much connection. Wrought too much destruction yet again. He hears another set of footsteps approach him- alone, not here for a confession unless they were far too early.

But he recognizes the scent of dragons. Dragons of Tellius, not any of the other dragons he had met nor heard of in his time in Fodlan. He does not need to glance behind to guess at who it was.

“How ironic that we meet atop a tower again, Nasir. Have you something to say to me, or have you come to enjoy the view as well?”

The last person that Nasir would have expected to see all the way up here - how sacrilegious of their dear Sephiran, to climb the stairs of a tower dedicated to a different goddess - was Begnion's former prime minister.

They scoff, letting their hand fall from where it had been clutching the fabric of their skirts to prevent them from tripping over the hem as they climbed, "I didn't expect to see you up here, Lehran. I... I simply wanted some peace and quiet. You know how beorc youth are, sometimes they get far too rowdy for an old man like myself."

They observe the heron carefully, deep blue eyes boring into his soul. There was a far more selfish reason they had come up here as well, but to say it to Sephiran of all people...

The monastery sprawls out below, grand buildings made minuscule by the heights they now reached. It almost made one want to reminisce on the past, of what had once been before being swept away by the sands of time. The rumors surrounding this tower, of love and confessions, Nasir cannot help but to think of love they had once had. To think of a woman who was long gone but had shone brighter than anyone else they had ever known.

"I will spare you from vitriol tonight, Lehran. But allow me to ask a question: do you wish for someone you once loved to be standing here now? I'm sure you can understand, the longing for someone who will never breathe again. Can't you?"

[happyfeetfuryroad]

You know what's weird?

The last minutes of Good Omens 2 episode 6 should have made me feel sad and frustrated, like the ending of season 1 of OFMD did a year ago. And yet, something is different this time.

Now, I would love to be able to tell that I remember the euphoria of being surprised to see Edward and Stede's kiss, but unfortunately I started watching the show after having all the important plot points spoiled, so while I was still absolutely delighted by it, I wasn't caught off guard like many other people were.

With Good Omens 2, I was only mildly spoiled, and I didn't know any details on what was going to happen in the final episode. The possibility of a kiss was kinda hanging out in the back of my mind, but I wasn't convinced that it would actually happen - and I knew that the ending was going to be angsty, so I was keeping my expectations relatively low.

But. Goddamn. When it actually happened, it was fucking electrifying.

It's weird because, I was never that deep into the ineffable husbands fandom to begin with. I'd read the book and watched season 1 and enjoyed them both, and it was pretty obvious to me that Aziraphale and Crowley were queer (Neil Gaiman never denied this, so it was an unusually drama-free situation too). I never really thought their relationship would escalate any further, because they were already self-evidently together and I didn't think they needed to "prove" it (and I still stand by this btw, I think in a healthy media ecosystem there is a place for subtle queerness that doesn't require any grand romantic gestures to prove its existence). So I kinda left it at that.

Then I started watching season 2, and I started feeling a specific kind of déjà vu. They (and by "they" I mean mostly Crowley) were doing the whole "side character calls them a couple and they adamantly deny it" act that was a signature of 2010s era queerbaiting (Sherlock being a particularly egregious example). However, I knew for a fact that Neil Gaiman wasn't queerbaiting - again, he had never denied the fact that Good Omens is, among other things, a love story, and there hadn't been a single no homo joke that you would expect from a queerbaiting writer - so I just kind of waved it off as a throwaway joke and forgot about it.

And then episode 6 came about. And Crowley began to tear up as he tried to let Aziraphale know how he felt about him.

Oh.

And then he and Aziraphale started arguing with each other about their future, and the tension started to build.

Oh.

And then Crowley said "you idiot. We could have been us."

OH-

And then the music swelled into an epic dramatic choir as Crowley angrily stepped closWAY TOO CLOSE AND-

And I... can't describe the rush of pure dopamine and adrenaline that I felt watching this scene unfold. It was unreal. My heart was pounding out of my goddamn chest. It felt fake. It had to be fake. This is the kind of shit that only ever happens in fanfiction. It was too good to be true.

Then the rest of the finale happened and it was awful but that's besides the point

And even though in a way it was the same feeling of "holy shit, they actually made the main characters kiss" I had with Edward and Stede, this was also very different.

See, Edward and Stede kissed in the same season they got introduced in, and there was no original material that the show was based on (I'm not counting the real life pirates because OFMD is a very loose interpretation anyway). You couldn't really know what you were getting into, so the protagonists completely skipped the queercoded part and jumped straight into "literal protagonists of a romcom" territory.

Aziraphale and Crowley, on the other hand, were already existing characters, in a book and a TV show where their relationship was already established as "queer enough for anyone who pays attention, but subtle enough for a casual viewer to be able to ignore it". Their kiss in season 2 wasn't there to confirm that they love each other, but to make it clear that there is passion in their love. There's that raw, visceral attraction that queer people are so often discouraged from displaying in public because it's seen as uniquely dirty or inappropriate (or predatory, when it's two people perceived as male).

And it's happening late enough into the story that a lot viewers who may be like "I'm fine with gays so long as it's not in my face" will be forced to digest it - but also early enough into the story that we have an opportunity to see how Crowley and Aziraphale's love story unfolds now that the chips are truly down. Which is why, personally, I was happy to see season two end on a cliffhanger.

So yeah. I think I'll go watch that scene for the twentieth time today.

[itsmymeaningoflife]

If you're still interested in answers to your twd shipping post, I just finished the series :D Feel free to ignore, this got really long.

(And just a heads up, any time I say "Daryl is..." I mean that I hc him that way. Just so it doesn't come across that I'm arguing that anything I say is canon or not. xD)

I'm a donnie/conyl shipper and I am totally pleased with the state of Daryl's relationships by the end. Daryl is someone who takes his time comfortably letting people into his heart. The pace he and Connie are moving felt good to me! While the self-indulgent part of me would have loved more for them (at least Connie also seeing him off or slightly more physical affection), I didn't need a fully established relationship between them yet. I see it as something that is there, but still blossoming as they're also navigating their way through own personal paths in life.

It took 10+ years for him to tell Carol he loved her and she is an extremely important person to him. I don't think it's weird if he and Connie aren't quite there yet.

That, and I personally hc Daryl as not a very romantic person in general. I don't think he's going to be super mushy or deep kiss in public. He's not one to long for candle lit dinners or walks on the beach, ahaha. This also goes had in hand with my hc that's there's some gray romantic/sexual or demi romantic/sexual thing going on with Daryl. I hc the way he feels, expresses, and engages with people relationship-wise is pretty different from mainstream folks.

(So when I'm in the mood, I literally feel comfortable hc'ing that he and Connie ARE together in the epilogue scene and they just didn't express their reunion with any big grand gesture because they draw most of their joy from casual physical affection and simply being around each other.)

The other complicated half of the answer is that I also see Daryl and Carol as sort of... platonic life partners? So to me, they kind of ARE together, just not in the traditional romantic and/or sexual way? Whereas I enjoy Daryl and Connie having a bit more of that romantic interest in each other.

And as someone who connects very strongly to deep, intimate, polyamorous/non-monogamous relationships, I have no problem shipping Carol with Ezekiel romantically, Daryl with Connie romantically, and then Daryl and Carol in an equally important but different dynamic relationship that includes this true, deep, powerful platonic love.

And media almost never gives us relationships like Daryl and Carol that are platonic, so I just adore them that way. It's so satisfying for me seeing a man and a woman so close who aren't romantically involved. I LOVE PLATONIC 'I LOVE YOU'S THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY.

TWD often comments on not being restricted by how the old world expected life to work, and I think that can go for relationships too. The dynamic that Daryl and Connie and Carol and whoever else have don't have to fall in neat little boxes they way society used to dictate. I love it being fluid and open and comfortable without a need for jealousy or labels.

And this is only the tip of the iceberg for me when it comes to talking about these guys, but I'm trying to keep it concise as possible. xD

So, I think your post was asking about what less ideal state shippers prefer, but personally, I don't feel I like lost anything. Who knows what's to come with the spin off, but as of the twd finale right now, I don't feel like they ditched or abandoned Daryl and Connie and I wouldn't give up Daryl and Carol's friendship for the WORLD. They're both super important to me. :D

And I left behind ship wars back when I was 13, so no matter what does happen in the new spin-off, I'm going to be in my happy little twd bubble off to the side shipping these characters in the way that brings me the most joy.

While I’m not really engaging with this part of the fandom (‘shipping wars’) anymore since the show has ended, I think that this is a really interesting take and I’m very grateful you took the time in writing out this ask, thank you.

You make some very interesting points. The one thing I absolutely agree on is the asexual Daryl hc. I’ve always been a big big big supporter of asexual Daryl.

I’m glad you’ve watvhed this show tho, and I’m glad that you, a donnie shipper, can also appreciate the profoundly deep connection between Daryl and Carol. A lot (not all, but a good chunk) of donnie shippers like to diminish their bond in favour of their ship. So thank you for that.

But one thing I will have to “call you out” on (I’m sorry for the phrasing I really don’t mean it in a harsh way hahah) is the “Daryl isnt one to long for candle lit dinners” line… because this

is a very treasured moment in the Caryl fandom. Daryl being the only person Carol let in (both physically and emotionally) after she pulled away from the group, and Daryl asking “if [he] has to be a king to get some food around here” is such a beautiful scene.

That and in s11 he asks Carol to meet him for lunch, and when Carol suggests the diner, he tells her “it’s a date” … so like… he does, and has been involved in asking people (Carol) on dinner dates

I will post this ask as I think people will want to see this take and maybe chime in on some points better than I can.

To anyone replying to this person- be kind and be respectful. I’ll be monitoring comments and anyone being hateful will be removed. It will not be tolerated. People can have opposing opinions and still have respectful discussions about it.

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

list eight shows for your followers to get to know you! thanks for the tag @garethsedwards ! I love never shutting up about the same five shows 😂 (also The West Wing didn’t make my list but deserves a honourable mention!)

The Americans: to no one’s surprise. If I could only name one, there wouldn’t even be a contest. This show is SO GOOD. The drama is so layered and so beautifully underhand, the spy stuff is both grounded and satisfyingly trope-y, and it’s that rare show that has almost no “bad guys”, just a lot of very complex, deftly written characters following their own agencies. And it stuck the landing in a way I’ve never seen a show of this length do. The best finale in tv. It’s history! It’s bilingual! The main cast is a list of knockout acting performances without a miss between them. The soundtrack is incredible.

“Sometimes I wonder if you understand spies. One day with Arkady and the others at the Rezidentura, do you want to put them in jail? That's how a policeman thinks, not how spies think. We want everyone to stay right where they are, and bleed everything they know out of them. Forever.”

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries: More history! Almost always just for flavour, but when it isn’t! You get episodes like Death on the Vine, and we all know I am weak for a WWI story. And Rilke’s Liebeslied. The main characters are fantastic, and even at its whackiest this show is SO FUN. Bonus for costumes that are to die for, pun intended. You need to understand also that i watch this show purely with a shipper's heart and cannot be held accountable for how incomprehensible you may find the episode of the week. I do not care. This show is peak romance.

"[The inspector sent me] to tell you, in his words, to stay in your compartment, to please resist the temptation to interfere, and to not bandy about his name for your own convenience."

Derry Girls: Even more history! This one understands what it’s like to be a girl in her teens better than any other show I’ve seen, and has such an incredibly strong sense of place and time, an absolute standout even among period dramas. And it’s also just SO FUNNY.

“We're too delicate for prison!” "We go to convent school, Erin, for fuck's sake, we'll be grand."

Fleabag: The other best finale in tv. A main character who is lowkey Fucked Up™, but so relatable, and so real. Also, siblings! This show is so smart, and so sad, and SO funny. And romantic? My God.

"Either everyone feels like this a little bit and they're just not talking about it, or I'm completely fucking alone."

Barry: I’ve probably enjoyed a lot of shows more but the writing! Is insane!! I had no idea what to expect of this show when I first started it and it bowled me over completely with how smart and precise and thoughtful the writing is. The acting is also incredible, and it’s very funny. And it’s DEVASTATING. (Edit: this review, turns out, was for three out of four seasons. I had no idea there was a fourth. It's... something alright. It feels like a completely different thing than the rest of the show tone wise. It wasn't bad, but I preferred S3 as an ending.)

"Can you tell him that he is going to be okay and that he was right. I’m pretty sure people can change."

Doctor Who: I am so attached to Matt Smith's early seasons. I know I KNOW Stephen Moffat isn't all he was cracked up to be at the time and a lot of things are. eh. about his writing but. Listen this SHAPED me. I was a Sherlock girly but the thing that impacted my personality and probably my writing the most was the first two Eleventh Doctor seasons. They have a weird fairytale vibe and I am ABOUT that 'til the day I die, and even a still from those seasons takes me back instantly.

"You won’t even remember me. Well, you’ll remember me a little. I’ll be a story in your head. But that’s okay, we’re all stories in the end."

Veronica Mars: Again, specifically the first two seasons, and specifically *vibes*. Is this show good? Sometimes? Are the mysteries good? Rarely? Did the people running the show know what kind of show they were running? Apparently fucking not. Have I stopped thinking about in the last five years? Also no.

"Honestly, how much easier would your life be if you were indifferent to me?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: I don't go for a lot of straight comedy, but as you can probably tell by now, I love a crime procedural and I LOVE shows that make fun of crime procedurals. This show is so funny. Again, is it perfect? No. But it's SO funny though.

"I did it for love!" "Cool motive. Still murder."

tagging @spacepandar @moonprincess92 @rapidashmascot @peppermoons and anyone else who feels like doing it!